#moi incorrect quotes

[bluesincorrectquotes]

Harvest: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Recovering Solar: Thank you

Harvest: I didnt say that was a good thing

Recovering Solar: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

[magicalnerdsworld]

Buck: Bonjour, Hen. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?

Hen: No, I don't want to sleep with you.

Buck: Is that what that means? Oh my god!

Buck, running to Eddie: Eddie! Eddie! Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?

[lyrichi]

random ass scenario time!!!!!!!!!!! 1!1!1!!!1!1!

okay so. I know the majority of us losers are socially awkward... not me protecting onto y'all

ANYWAY what if when mc first came down to the devildom they were like super quiet and standoffish

so instead of trying to do whatever happens in the cannon and getting mammon's pact within 48 hours of knowing hell existed, they just kind of existed with their arms folded up to their chest & a deer in headlights look

introvert CENTRAL

kind of inserting myself like a dweeb here but like, that combined w being zoned out and getting teary eyed every half an hour or so

"hey, are you alright?"

"Huh- Oh oh, yeah yeah yeah I'm good.." (don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry--)

me fr fr

what about like...

mc sitting at the table for the fist dinner eating very slowly and w small bites even tho they're not hungry but they don't wanna be rude

OH THEN THEN

mc gets comfortable and completely switches up (gets adopted by all the extroverts)

imagine the bros hearing mc swear for the first time

"bitch I fucking swear-"

"WOAH--"

dhehehehe

freak ass introvert mc getting comfortable w the bros and/or the other chrs is my favorite thing

just like

HoL gc: they were talking about new emojis

belphie: 🫃

mc: you in 9 months

mammon: 😨

asmo: woah

yeah idfk this is very self indulgent

[tatortkram]

[aili-not-ally]

Basically Mulan

Shang: You're a woman???

Mulan: Yeah

Shang:

Shang: You mean to tell me...

Shang: THAT I HAD A SEXUAL IDENTITY CRISIS FOR NOTHING

Mulan: WHAT

Shang: WHAT

[weirdo09]

mike: your boyfriend is hot. max: i know right? max: WAIT WHAT? mike: *evil grin* max: i forgot you’re gay as shit. mike: *scoff* you didn’t have to say that. lucas: what are we talking about? mike & max: HOLY SHIT!

[watmalik]

TK: “So what do you say, Nance? Will you be my best woman?”

[sassenashsworld]

X : Tu couches avec lui?

Y : Je n'ai jamais couché avec lui

X : Arrête, je sais que tu l'as baisé

Y : Je l'ai déviergé, mais je ne me couche que quand la baise est ennuyante

X : Fuck you, j'ai été cinq ans avec toi et tu as toujours baisés couché

Y :

X : FUCK YOU!!!

[thunderquads2]

Jen: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Lotte: 'Prettiest Smile'

Frida: 'Nicest Personality'

Katie: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Noelle: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

[incorrectringsofpower]

Adar: You've really got a yen to hurt this elf, haven't you?

Sauron: She made me feel like a Man. That's not the kind of thing you just forgive.

[nyxielovespythons]

Me: It’s too early in the morning for this. sent at 11:57 AM

[bluesincorrectquotes]

Harvest: Okay, truth or dare?

Recovering Solar: Truth

Harvest: How many hours have you slept this week?

Recovering Solar:

Recovering Solar: ...Dare

Harvest: Go to bed.

Recovering Solar: I don’t like this game.

[crushoftheweek]

~More incorrect criminal minds quotes~

Spencer: My hands are cold.

Y/N: Here, let me hold them.

Spencer: My lips are cold too.

Y/N: *covers Spencer's mouth with their hand*

____________________________________________

Spencer: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Y/N: Okay.

Spencer: And make out during the scary parts.

Y/N: Th-

Y/N: The scary parts.

Y/N: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

____________________________________________

Spencer, to Penelope: I mean, I get complimented all the time-

Derek: *starts cackling*

Spencer: I do!

Derek: *laughs harder*

____________________________________________

Emily: I have to say, I'm a little embarrassed for you.

Spencer: This is a sports-related injury. It makes me look cool!

Emily: Tripping over a basketball on your way to the bathroom is not cool!

____________________________________________

Spencer: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

Y/N: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

____________________________________________

Y/N: Bonjour, Spencer. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?

Spencer: No, I don't want to sleep with you.

Y/N: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.

____________________________________________

Y/N: Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Spencer and I are dating.

Spencer, Penelope, Emily, and Derek: *gasp*

Y/N: Spencer, why are you surprised?!

____________________________________________

[scoutswritingcorner]

Incorrect Quotes with Chauffer Reader and Alastor!

Chauffeur Reader, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy. Alastor: I will short out the language center of your brain if you say anything like that ever again. ~~~~~ Chauffeur Reader: *Locks Alastor in the car.* Act like a child, get treated like a child. Alastor: What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in a car? ~~~~~ Chauffeur Reader: Bonjour, Alastor. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi? Alastor: No, I don't want to sleep with you. Chauffeur Reader: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor. ~~~~~~ Alastor: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized. Chauffeur Reader: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely* Alastor: That one. I want that one. ~~~~~ Alastor: I’ve only had Chauffeur Reader for a day and a half but if anything happened to them I would kill everyone in this room and then myself. ~~~~~ Chauffeur Reader: Last night, I had a dream about sandwich pizza. Alastor: What? Chauffeur Reader: It was pizza with bread on the top and the bottom. Alastor: So a calzone? Chauffeur Reader: You can’t just name things I dream up. ~~~~~ Chauffeur Reader: I want to kiss you. Alastor, not paying attention: What? Chauffeur Reader: I said if you die, I wont miss you. ~~~~~ Chauffeur Reader: There. How do I look? Alastor: Like a cheap French harlot. Chauffeur Reader: French?!

[rory-cakes]

The Crew! Part 1!

A series of Incorrect quotes with Birdy!reader and the Hazbin Crew!

Birdy: I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!

*Part 5 essentially*

Alastor: Pros and cons of dating me.

Alastor: Pros. You'll be the cute one.

Alastor: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

Angel: Bonjour, Husk. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?

Husk: No, I don't want to sleep with you.

Angel: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.

Vaggie: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.

Angel: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in his own pool. Big difference.

Lucifer to Charlie: Stop saving the world and get a hobby.

Husk: Is this gaslighting? Am I being gaslit? 

Alastor: If I were gaslighting you, you’d never know it. 

Husk: Is THAT gaslighting? 

Alastor: Shut up.

Birdy, teaching Charlie to drive: Okay Charlie, what does a green light mean? 

Charlie: Go! 

Birdy: A red light? 

Charlie: Stop! 

Birdy: And what about a yellow light? 

Charlie: If you floor it, you can make it! 

Birdy: …No—

Angel: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

Alastor: Alright, listen up you little shits. 

Alastor: Not you Birdy. You’re an angel and we’re thrilled you’re here.

*Squad is playing Among Us* 

Lucifer: I believe Vaggie is innocent, I was with them the whole time. Alastor, what were you doing? 

Alastor: Oh, I was just murdering… I mean, nothing!

Vaggie: What's this? 

Chalie, hugging Vaggie: Affection! 

Vaggie: Disgusting. 

Vaggie: ...Do it again.

Vaggie: Any idiot would know that. 

Nifty: I knew that! 

Vaggie: See?

Lucifer: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

Charlie: We’re kind of missing something guys. 

Angel: Cohesion? 

Vaggie: Teamwork? 

Husk: A general sense of what we’re doing? 

Lucifer: And Birdy is not here. 

Husk: Oh, and that, yeah.

Lucifer: I hate you with every inch of my body! 

Alastor: That’s not a lot of inches.

*in a group chat* 

Angel: First one to reply is gat. 

Angel: *gay 

Angel: Wait...

Birdy: *eating a cinnamon roll* 

Everyone: Cannibalism. 

Birdy: *confused chewing noises*

Angel: Here’s the cold medicine you asked for. 

Husk: *dumps 3 shopping bags of wine on the table* 

Birdy: ...Thanks.

Birdy: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one. 

Alastor: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

A/n: Hope You enjoyed!!

Taglist: @crazed-flower, @nanamunath, @preferably-fictional, @eccedentesiast-sapphic, @leximus98, @cupidsgift, @mag-chan, @stygianoir, @thereeallink, @yelloeukulele, @mariaclarade-la-cruz1, blurpleuni-squid, @galaxywing-has-adhd, @just-here-reading, @deez-nuts0, @strawberry-gothic, @purplerose291,@1-800-mocha, @trashbin-nie, @queenmizuki, @nkirukaj @bennythebitch @otherthoughtsofbu, @fantasycantasy, @hunnybee11626, @notally-tormal, @valerie-36, @lovingyeet, @holographicage, @har-har-harvey, @i-love-jafar, @cupidsgift, @meow-meowo, @theblueslytherin, @deadt3tinside, @lyralibra, @the-unhinged-raccoon, @avitute, @alastorswifeee, @stygianoir, @sideshow-b0b, @deadlymouse123, @mysingularitybts, @emotionalfangirl2002, @t0xic1vi, @goodlittlepup, @starsatmyhome, @wendds, @reader3, @redfoxgotlost, @hurthermore, @frostychurro, @isa-dragon, @makandcheese04, @sassypeiceofshit, @kenzi-woycehoski, @otherthoughtsofbu

[izzytheloser12]

~~~~ More kaishin incorrect quotes~~~~

*kaito trying to flirt with Shinichi*

Kaito: Dom or sub?

Shinichi: I guess Domino's, since I don't go to Subway that much. Don't see why you'd put them in the same category though.

~~~~~~

Kaito: You look good in that hoodie.

Shinichi: You know where else I'd look good?

Kaito, zero hesitation: My bed.

Shinichi, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?

~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

Kaito: I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

Shinichi: WHAT

~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: *Holding up a pack of pencils* These are kinda cute.

Kaito: Shinichi, that’s gay.

Shinichi: We’ve been dating for 2 years—

~~~~~~~~

*kaito trying to flirt with Shinichi part 2*

Kaito: I like your new pants!

Shinichi: Thanks, they were 50% off!

Kaito: I’d like them better if they were 100% off. *winks*

Shinichi: The store can’t just give away clothes for free.

Kaito: Thats’s… not what I meant.

Shinichi: That’s a terrible way to run a business, Kaito.

~~~~~~~

Shinichi: You know, Kaito, when you generalize, you tell general... lies.

Kaito: ...

Kaito: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: Shinichi, why are you crying?

Shinichi: This book is so sad!!

Kaito, picking it up: But this is my diary-

Shinichi: your life is really sad kaito

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.

Shinichi: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.

Kaito, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Kaito: I know. Whenever I’m near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Shinichi: But you’re always acting stupid?

Kaito: ...

Kaito: Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

~~~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Did it hurt when you fell-

Kaito: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Shinichi: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Kaito: ...

Shinichi: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Shinichi: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out in bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Bonjour, Kaito. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?

Kaito: No, I don't want to sleep with you.

Shinichi: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.

Kaito: WHAT

~~~~~~~

Shinichi: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Kaito: This is a lie.

Kaito: I'm literally dating him. This is a lie.

Kaito: HE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

~~~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: I'm at a loss for words!

Kaito: Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Shinichi yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.

~~~~~~~~

Kaito: Why are you like this??

Shinichi: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

~~~~~~

Kaito, singing: He's making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's on thin fucking ice

Shinichi, also singing: Santa Claus is calling you out!

~~~~~~

Shinichi: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...

Kaito: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?

Shinichi: Holy shit-

~~~~~~

Kaito: Shinichi and I are no longer dating.

Shinichi: Kaito, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.