#migraine vent

[caesarsprincess]

CW: venting about chronic pain, brain cancer mentioned (no diagnosis thankfully)

Caesar Clown is a perfect partner for someone with a headache disorder. Tension headaches? He'd make a posture device. Sinus headaches? He could remove the sinus pressure with his control over air. Migraines? He could make perfect drugs for it. Cluster headaches? He could generate an infinite supply of pure oxygen.

Why does he have to be fictional????? WHYY WAS THE UNIVERSE CREATED IN SUCH A WAY THAT FICTIONAL PEOPLE ARENT REAL!!?

I know he's evil, but he's what I need right now to remove my stupid f*cking migraine disorder. The disorder that is so severe it's starting to present like cluster headaches from time to time, and 4 times a year I'm talking with one of the world's most respected headache experts in order to treat it. I had to be screened for f*cking brain cancer. (They found nothing thankfully)

Why can't f/os be real when we need them??????

[Sorry antis, you are not the target audience]

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

I know its kind of silly to say “don’t feel bad for canceling because of pain, fatigue, etc” because I know guilt is a reflex you can’t easily refrain from. But you can reason with yourself so instead I’ll say this:

Nobody can feel what you’re feeling but you. Nobody knows the severity of what you would be putting yourself through if you were to “tough it out.”

If you do “tough it out,” the purpose for you doing the thing will most likely not be fulfilled anyway. You probably will not be mentally present or engaged. You probably will not have a good time or get much out of it. Etc.

If people really have such a problem with it, thats a huge red flag. Being transparent about your needs and boundaries is a great way to weed people like that out of your life.

If you have any kind of chronic illness or disability, remember that you probably have a very warped judgement of what is “reasonable” to endure in terms of pain, fatigue, burnout, etc.

You didn’t ask for this, you don’t deserve this, there is no reason you should have to bear the weight of it alone. I bet if someone else was in your position, you wouldn’t mind helping accommodate for them?

Low energy days are truly sacred, take them seriously. Please respect your body’s signals. “If you do not choose times to rest, your body will choose for you” or however the saying goes

It is so much pressure to have to deliberate what sacrifices are necessary for proper self care. Give yourself extra credit for having to deal with that stress on top of whatever is putting you in that position in the first place. Thats a lot at once

You are leading by example and showing others that you would never expect them to hurt or overextend themselves for your benefit. Putting yourself first always inspires other to do the same.

Please be proud of yourself for even considering canceling and putting your needs first. That is so strong of you <3

[greenlaut]

tea & dates

continuation of bitter tea & oranges

[thebibliosphere]

Aura migraines are such bastards. I don’t get auras too often as part of my warning prodrome, but when I do it’s a toss up if the migraine is going to be silent (migraine without pain) or if I’m going to be in excruciating agony in a couple of hours.

Either way I went blind for thirty minutes as my entire field of vision became a ragged spiral of oscillating rainbows and now I’m just lying here in the dark, warily waiting to see if the pain hits.

Holly Mop is clinging to me like a koala which doesn’t bode well.

God fucking dammit I had shit to do tomorrow.

[tofu-bento-box]

having comorbidities that contradict/contraindicate each other is so stupid man.

you have PMDD. every time you get your period you spend the week before on the edge of a major depressive episode and lose all hope for the future. unfortunately for you, you also have PCOS, which makes Hell Week entirely unpredictable.

so you try to stabilize and predict Hell Week via birth control. but wait! you have migraines with aura! all hormonal birth control is now contraindicated for you, because it increases your risk of death.

ah, well, fuck. okay, well, you have pcos and your hormones are out of wack, let’s get those back on track. but guess what! that’s hormonal birth control again! so your testosterone stays high, and you have chronic acne now.

well, okay, let’s leave the hormones alone. let’s just deal with the acne. however the high-strength acne prescriptions cause such bad birth defects that you are almost legally required to be on some form of birth control. can you see where i’m going with this?

okay, so birth control would “solve” all your problems at the risk of maybe making one thing worse. let’s chance it. oops! you’re now horrifically depressed for a third of every month—and not just that, but your migraines did get worse, and now you’re barely functional.

fuck fuck fuck, get off that. stop taking that. go get an MRI just in case. well, i hope you enjoy migraines, because for some reason that birth control experiment did lasting damage. but don’t worry, your MRI is completely clean!

just. comorbidities, man.

[blitzsicedcoffee]

If I freeze my head for long enough maybe the migraine will get cold and leave

[rottingskunkc0rpse]

[affectionatepanda]

Hi, I can’t sleep because of pain currently and I think if someone removed each of my muscles and did something to loosen them up that would be greeeeaaaat

[wormslikeme]

It’s gods cruelest joke that being alone in the dark is the best thing for migraines. Like all I want to do right now is be held, by someone anyone. I’m I’m so much pain all I can do is cry and pray my meds will knock me out soon. I don’t want to be alone during my migraine episodes anymore, I want someone to be with me. To care. They don’t have to understand how it feels, I just don’t want to be alone anymore.

[raging-guanche]

i just told my mom how im always struggling with pain and that hypermobility is making me myserable at the point that going to a 20 minute walk hurts and holding my phone its uncomfy and she didn't even quit playing her fucking candy crush, just told me "well, u have a doctor appointment next week" and nothing more, i ended up talking to a wall about how i hate every single move i do and that mobility aids would make my life easier

[kiwisandpearls]

“What? No! I couldn’t possibly have migraines!” I say as I turn off all the lights in my room and try to keep it as quiet as possible because it alleviates the pain from my ‘headache’ by a bit. “These are just particular bad headaches!” I say as I get nauseous when I have these ‘headaches’. “They’re not that bad!” I say as sometimes when I take medication it does nothing.

[the-galactic-catt]

me: i want to find more greek people in the fandom i'm in, or at least find some character headcanons in relation to my ethnicity. it would be so fun to engage in conversation with other people about our shared love for this piece of media, while at the same time having a deeper connection and understanding with each other due to our shared heritage, culture and upbringing !

literally any platform when i look up "[insert fandom] greece/ελλάδα": yeahhhhh no, i don't have any of that, BUT i got greek mythology aus that heavily romanticise and glorify the original purposes of the myths, parallels to greek mythology that you need to do mental gymnastics in order to actually understand, and quotes from greek epics being (mis)used in fanfiction for a ship that barely has anything to do with the context of the quote. oh, and don't forget ! most of these (if not all of them) are based on modern retellings produced by non-greeks that completely bastardise greek mythology, and by extension your culture !

me, in tears: okay

[drifting-bones]

sometimes i wonder if i’ll ever come to terms with being disabled. i guess i’m still holding out hope that i can get better, at least for now. but it’s hard when you’re literally just standing there, holding a camera, and your hands are shaking and your head is swimming and you feel like if you don’t sit down right now you’re going to die. it’s really hard when i eat a regular meal and have weird coughing fits after that always bring me to the verge of throwing up. it’s so fucking hard when you’re just sitting down and you’re out of breath and you have a migraine from moving around just a little too much. and it’s so fucking frustrating because it wasn’t always like this. it’s only been a year since i’ve shown symptoms of dysautonomia and it’s been two since i got my worst case of covid. i’m so fucking sick of living like this. i want to go back.

[tofu-bento-box]

// serious post

here’s the thing i don’t get: people tell you to communicate your feelings, and then react negatively when you feel something they don’t think you should.

i’m ill in six different directions: my feelings are mostly negative and generally illogical. i get upset for reasons that i know don’t matter in the bigger scheme of things. but i can’t express that anger or hurt, because then people think that i am selfish, and entitled, and a bad friend. on the other hand, though, i’m also bad at hiding my feelings, and saying you’re okay when you clearly aren’t is also rude. so it’s just a constant struggle between “how much can i say to make this person feel that i’m answering truthfully, without them deciding i’m a selfish asshole.”

people tell me that you can’t rationalize away your emotions, and then react with disgust when i can’t do that for “the things that matter.” i’m upset. i know i shouldn’t be, i’m upset that i’m upset, but you sitting there judging me isn’t exactly going to help the situation. i know that whatever’s going on with my friends is more important than how it affects me. but then what does selflessness look like? is it not being upset in the first place, or is it just hiding your expression of your hurt? am i incapable of being a good friend because i can’t keep myself from feeling things i shouldn’t?

i just don’t get people sometimes. it’s like everyone has a rulebook for what’s allowed, and they just forgot to give me a copy. i get told communicate, communicate, communicate, over and over, and everyone forgets to mention what i’m meant to be conveying. because sometimes it really seems that what they want isn’t the truth.

[daffythefox]

I was supposed to be exceptional and I can't even hold down a job.

[venacoeurva]

I am so mentally behind with little tech things on a subconscious level, I was so astounded SSDs are so cheap (if you count like 75+ USD and usually over $100 cheap for this kind of thing) even though I know they are, the one I got was only around $85

Granted, when I was a tween usb drives having 8mb of storage and being easily accessible was impressive, so. the bar is low for me with this