#might be regression actually
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I really like your Bill Regressor headcanons! Have you thought about a scenario where you describe the circumstances under which Ford was able to positively make him regress? I'd be curious to hear more about that!
Aaaaa thank you!! I’m glad people enjoyed them!
I have thought of that scenario, actually! And I will now give it to you in story form! It’s long so I’m putting it under the cut.
(The story takes place during The Book of Bill’s “drunk karaoke session” (spoilers by the way), meaning that there will be alcohol use and also regression while drunk (Bill has problems). As stated before, Bill’s regression is not typical. His regression is very subtle. I’m hoping I wrote it adequately. :) )
(I also got WAY too into the pre-regression part so apologies regarding that-)
(A quick note: I am aware the Bill and Ford are not great relationship-wise. This story isn’t saying that they are, only that they had good moments together. I’m writing this as a what-if scenario based on headcanons - do with that what you will.)
Title: What a Night
Another knight hops across the board to tear into a bishop with its newly acquired sharp teeth.
“Bill-!” The laugh in Ford’s voice couldn’t be clearer as the horse-shaped piece happily chews its opponent. “That’s not valid!”
“That’s a regular move in inter-dimensional chess! I think you’re just a sore loser.”
Bill swirls his glass and takes a sip himself before offering it to Ford, who takes it gratefully to drink a larger portion. The glass never empties.
“God, you mix a good drink.” He praises with a content sigh, slumping further into the comfortable velvet seat.
“They don’t call me the “universe’s best bartender” for nothin’, you know!” Bill blinks once and leans across the chessboard, knocking over a few pieces, “Wink!”
Stanford grins. He moves to grab a rook and jerks back when it snaps at his finger. He laughs joyously and retries.
“Well, I was Jersey’s best chess player for nearly a decade straight,” to the kids that would play against him, which weren’t many. Still, Ford boasts, “and I can’t assess your bartender thing - I don’t get out into the inter-dimensional bars too often, but you…your drink was…oh, boy,” he giggles, already feeling tipsy. Bill laughs loudly at that; it echoes through the Mindscape.
After many, many, chess rounds that ended in ties, the two companions are more wasted than ever.
“No, Bill, we’ve played We’ll Meet Again five times already.”
Bill pokes an accusatory finger at Ford, hogging their one microphone.
“Shhhut it, IQ. You - you just have terrible taste. ‘K?”
Ford huffs but lets the karaoke happen. He crosses his arms and waits on their couch while Bill slurs the lyrics, completely unaware of his own volume level. Still, he seems to be enjoying himself. The music in the Mindscape stops. Bill droops in place as soon as it does, microphone dangling in his loose fingers. Singing his heart out to Vera Lynn each and every time probably wasn’t a great idea.
“…OK, I’m bored. Your turn.”
Ford catches the microphone tossed his way and grins widely. Bill replaces his spot on the couch, wiped out. He sighs deeply and adjusts his hat as Ford decides. All Bill needs is a little more pep, he’s sure of it. Hell, he’ll offer some to Fordsy, too. With a clunky wave of his hand, Bill’s “Myoclonic Jerk” appears in his hand. It wobbles in his lax grip before he grips it with both hands and chugs what would be the whole glass if the drink wasn’t infinite. A fuzzy feeling wraps around Bill instantly, and he’s too distracted to realize it’s more than the buzz of alcohol.
“Hey, Sixer!” He leans forward and holds up the glass double-handed like a trophy. Ford whips around from the handy little song selection screen. His eyes fall on the drink. He stumbles closer to the couch to take it.
“Hey, wo-oah, smaller sips.” Bill advises without much actual danger attached to it, clearly amused. He snaps his fingers, popping the drink out of existence after Ford’s share. Ford blinks at his empty hand in confusion, making Bill laugh again. It’s closer to a giggle this time. Ford gathers himself in time to glance at the selection screen.
“Oh, I picked som-something. C’mere.”
Bill floats up, finds himself unsteady, and conjures his cane to “help” him keep his balance despite the fact that the cane is no help at all. He stumbles some and giggles. Bill twirls the cane poorly, squinting at the screen.
“Disco Girl?”
Ford’s drunkenness doesn’t stop him from being self-conscious, it seems. He chuckles with a hesitant smile.
“It’s admittedly catchy.”
Bill crinkles his eye into a grin, bouncing a little.
“Hey, I’m stellar at keeping secrets, Fordsy!”
The song plays.
Saturday night is a night alright Time to groove till the morning light..
Bill knew of Ford’s guilty pleasure for the pop group, but the way he sang with such carefreeness for the entire three minutes had even the triangle surprised. Ford was similarly surprised and overjoyed when his companion also knew the lyrics.
At some point, Ford gets into the groove of the song and starts dancing along. Bill, also plenty giddy, follows suit.
Ford laughs between lyrics, a grin lighting up his features - the laugh booms around the Mindscape. It’s bright, hearty, and from the belly. Bill takes a moment to address the warm pit that laugh leaves in his body. He grins again and gets closer.
Their dancing stays separate for the most part, until Bill slings a hand around Ford’s shoulder and Ford grazes his hand long enough for Bill to feel it.
Bill freezes at the touch. Ford doesn’t, perfectly content. Slowly, Bill takes his hand away to stare at it with a wide eye. The part where Ford’s warm hand had touched his buzzes softly.
The fuzzy feeling from the alcohol and other factors increases. Bill blinks. An odd feeling wells up the longer he keeps thinking of the touch. He’s thinking so much that he doesn’t notice the song end.
“-Bill?” The voice calls.
The addressed demon blinks again - must’ve spaced out. He keeps his touched hand suspended and looks to Ford. The human stopped dancing a while ago and realized his companion had looked off.
Ford must have gotten concerned, Bill realizes. It makes Bill feel…nice.
He finds he wants something from Stanford. It’s not the portal or eternal servitude; Bill knows that’s not it. It ties to the fuzziness he’s been feeling. He decides to figure it out.
He grins and laughs, not fake in the slightest.
“Hah! Do that again!” Bill thrusts his hand to Stanford, the implication being clear as day in his mind, which is starting to feel even happier.
“…Do what?” Ford asks with an owlish blink. He looks down at Bill’s hand and looks to his own six-fingered one, gears turning. It finally clicks, “Hold your hand?”
Seeing nothing wrong with it and susceptible to suggestions, Ford fulfills the request and bring his hand to clasp it around Bill’s smaller one.
The warmth from Ford travels up Bill’s arm and only adds to the warmth in the rest of his body. Bill blinks silently again. Oh. Wow, that felt…comfortable?
Bill slips.
Without registering what he’s really doing, he leans into Ford and grips one of his fingers with his hand, moving to sit on his shoulder. Ford makes a little noise of confusion, to which Bill only giggles at. In a second, all the alcohol is figuratively flushed out of Bill’s system as his earlier excitement dies. Ford frowns.
“Bill? Are you alright?”
Bill gathers himself with a chuckle, “Pfft. Of course I am, Fordsy.” He lies.
Bill’s getting oddly sleepy. He was used to this tiredness, however; it went hand-in-hand with the fuzzy feeling. He squeezes Ford’s finger tighter, which doesn’t go unnoticed.
“Y’know what? It’s been a long night,” Bill starts, temping down the slight fog in his mind.
“…Has it?” Ford asks confusedly. Even intoxicated, he notices the behavior switch in his muse.
“O-oh, sure!” Bill finds that he’s unusually tired. It must’ve been the alcohol’s effect. He hopes his stammer isn’t noticeable, “I mean, this stuff’ll give ya a heck of a hangover.” He laughs falsely again, snapping his fingers.
Their couch immediately turns into a simple, cozy-looking, bed. Ford stares at it oddly.
Bill leaves Stanford’s shoulder but doesn’t let go of his hand. It gives him too much comfort.
“C’mon, kid. Let’s get you to bed.”
Without waiting for an answer, Bill physically pulls Ford toward the bed with impatience. Stanford stumbles at the sudden movement but follows anyway out of curiosity. He falls on the sheets, Bill falls after him.
It’s unsurprisingly comfortable. Ford had been low on energy, but hadn’t realized how tired he had truly been until now. Not bothering to take anything off, he sprawls out over the blanket.
Bill, meanwhile, lightly kicks his feet off the edge of the bed, sitting near Ford’s stomach. His feet don’t even reach the bottom. Bill stares at them swinging with attention and an oddly childish look in his eye. He giggles quietly before noticing that Stanford has already lain down.
Bill moves to hold Ford’s hand again and crawls closer to quietly lay next to him. Ford’s coat is made of fabric that Bill just found out is really comfortable. He snuggles closer to his side, making sure that the human’s sleep in the Mindscape won’t take him back to the waking world before Bill wants him to. He’ll let Fordsy wake up when he’s sober again. That sounded much better.
Ford doesn’t let go of Bill’s tiny hand - maybe he’s too tired to notice. Bill sighs quietly and flutters his eye closed.
In one movement, the karaoke in the Mindscape starts playing a slow lullaby on low volume and the blankets suddenly cover both Ford and Bill comfortably.
Bill turns his eye into a mouth and shoves his thumb inside, sucking on it soothingly. He squeezes a sleeping Ford’s finger tighter as he himself dozes off.
#Gravity falls agere#gravity falls age regression#Regressor Bill Cipher#Caregiver Ford Pines#(Unintentionally) /lh#regressor headcanons#my writing#fanfiction#I might actually post this on AO3 lol#CRINGE CULTURE IS DEAD#cringe but free
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Thinking about possible fanfic/au idea, where Paper after the end of second season decides to leave Hotel for a while to develop his own self-identity outside of his life with OJ, and OJ, living without Paper for the first time in almost a decade, realises how codependent with him he actually became and how much of his mental state were tied to Paper being by his side. Both of them learn to live without one another and find their own separated support systems and when Paper eventually comes back (because, still, all of his friends live here, duh) we're both self-sufficient but still appreaciate each other's positive traits and now are able to form functioning healthy relationships...
Yeah I think about them a lot
#eugenedathinker#inanimate insanity#ii#ii oj#ii paper#payjay#sorry these two gay dumbasses completely consume my mind for a month now#i dunno i just love stories about couple which have to go through at least one break-up because they're mentally ill#also also#suitcase could leave hotel with paper too 'cause#a) she already feels like she's lost a track of time and everyone she knows just live without her#b) i suddenly fell in love with an idea of her and paper's friendship#but if for paper this decision to leave is his progression as a character#for suitcase it's a regression because she (just like mephone) actually starts to run from her problems and fears#instead of facing it#uhhhh it's a complicated dynamic#i might just write this fanfic after season is over
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Mickey and Ian’s characterization was flawed in the final seasons but one thing I found particularly odd about some of Ian’s decisions is that they almost felt like he didn’t know Mickey at all. Which is so weird because Ian is the one who knows and understands Mickey better than anyone. It’s one of the main things about their relationship.
But then he tells Mickey that he only has 87% of his heart when he knows about Mickey’s own insecurities and doubts. He knows his husband. So he had to have known how Mickey was going to react to that and how much it would’ve hurt him? Similarly suggesting a temporary break in prison. After everything surely he’d have to know how that was gonna go? Same thing with the monogamy conversation I think.
Signing the lease without telling Mickey when he knows how Mickey reacts to change and new surroundings. And about how Mickey feels about the South Side (he literally has a tattoo that says South Side Forever, no matter what happened to him there, Mickey viewed that place as his home). I do think Ian’s intentions for it were pure so they could start fresh, and probably part of it was because he knew if he brought it up to Mickey before signing then Mickey would never agree. But why would he ever think Mickey would be okay with him making that decision without him? And surely he’d have to know that a change that big wouldn’t be easy for Mickey to adjust to.
Not comforting Mickey after Terry’s death and being dismissive when he knows how complicated grieving an abusive parent is and Mickey’s history with Terry. Ian understands how complex those feelings are because he felt them after Monica. And he knows Mickey, even if how Mickey feels about Terry is hard for Ian to understand, he still knows that showing that level of emotion is difficult and rare for Mickey.
These aren’t even criticisms of Ian, they’re criticism of the writing. It’s fair that sometimes they’ll both make decisions that might be against how the other person feels, no one’s perfect. But a lot of these just don’t really make sense to me? One of the most important things about Gallavich before the later seasons was that Ian often saw through Mickey and understood him. He knew what Mickey wanted/meant even if it was contrary to what he said. Where did that part of their relationship go?
#shameless#there’s probs more#half this post was about Mickey’s characterization and how they dumbed him down and regressed a lot of his intelligence#but it felt too long so that’ll be another post I’ll make some day#ian gallagher#Mickey Milkovich#gallavich#shameless s10#shameless s11#suggesting that Mickey might be open to a non monogamous relationship is another one#Ian do you not know your husband at all???#it’s like the writers just wanted them to fight but they didn’t know or care what about#so they just made one of them say or do something stupid#I do think the second half of the apartment story was ok like Mickey finally communicating to Ian that he didn’t feel comfortable w it#and Ian actually listening and agreeing that they didn’t have to go#but both of them ultimately agreeing to it because they both know it’s for the best and that Mickey just had to get past the fear#but the idea that Ian actually thought Mickey wouldn’t be furious with him in the first place#and that he’d settle in all ok and just go to the gym like no problem???#he knows his husband better than that#I won’t talk about the flirting with that random gym guy because that was just mean and gross
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Hi there! If you've already done this moodboard and I missed it in the list don't hesitate to ignore this but I have a request if you're willing! Could you possibly do a masculine royalty/prince themed moodboard? A paci included but no gems or charms (if you can!). Thank you thank you thank you for reading and for your time! I appreciate it :3
Here you go!!
#prince moodboard#!!!#this is actually number 3 i think#the one you might have been looking for wasn't a request#it was part of my fairytale event#and i wanted to add something more masc to it#hence Prince 1 was born#anyway i hope you enjoy!#sfw interaction only#moodboard#sfw agere#age regression#agere#sfw littlespace#agere moodboard#babyre#age dreaming#baby regression#tw weapon#kinda#it's broken but still there
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Thoughts on the hc that Dazai has a glass eye?
I'm just imagining Dazai getting injured on a case on his blind side, and Kunikida berates him and drags him to Yosano.
And Yosano is like "Really, again? How did it happen this time?" And Kunikida says "Idiot wasn't paying attention."
Dazai "No I was, its just my blind side."
And they both freak out because why? How? Huh? But his eye looks fine?
Yosano: Well, I can schedule an appointment and we can see if we can get you surgery or something-
Dazai: Oh its unsalvagable, I'm blind on that side.
Kunikida: Why does your eye look fine then??? (He thinks Dazai is fucking with him)
Dazai just smiles, reaches up and pull the glass eye out. Kunikida screams.
- Goblin anon
Oh my gosh alsksjdjfjf honestly I think this hc is great just for that potential moment of screaming confusion on Kunikida’s part, Dazai absolutely would do that XD
I guess in general I haven’t thought much about the implications of Dazai bandaging that eye! I know I’ve definitely seen fics and stuff where his vision is off in that eye in one way or another (@feralrookie wrote a fantastic soulmate AU where Dazai’s soulmark is on that eye and it gutted me in the best way). I think it’s really fun to see where different people go with it :0
I do think it’s interesting that he swaps which eye he bandages in the Beast universe…that feels like it has Implications but I’m not sure what they are, I’m not very skilled at analysis lol —Although, slightly related, I do love the moment in the Dark Era where Oda pulls those bandages off as he dies, because it seems like a visual representation of how much Dazai was hindering himself in the mafia (seriously, if there isn’t anything wrong with that eye, that means the dude was shooting guns without precise depth perception seemingly just for the heck of it) and then Oda pulls them off as he tells him to go live in the light and just aaaaaaaaaaaaa I am never not going to be emotional about the dark era ;;
…anyway this got off topic, basically all this to say I think that I think it’s cool how many different interpretations of it there are, and you could definitely do a lot with the glass eye headcanon alskjdjdjd
#I don’t know how coherent this is alskjdjfj#i am very sleepy#…now I’m also thinking about the fact that I don’t think we’ve seen Dazai fire a gun since he joined the ADA#unless it’s happened in one of the LNs I haven’t caught up with yet#idk that just seems significant since the times we’ve seen him fire a gun previously were: a moment of clear trauma for him(the 15 arc)#and him imparting trauma on Akutagawa in the dark era.#I feel like that might be indicative of him distancing himself from his past self#or I could be reading too much into it#fun fact that was actually why I gave him a gun in the Dazai-goes-feral-AU#because in that fic he is regressing pretty heavily due to Stress and Emotions#and also why he immediately drops the gun and leaves it behind after he fires the last shot#cause he knows he’s regressing and he’s trying to distance himself from it.#…I ended up rambling a lot sorry alsksjdjfjf#oooh actually another random thought#dyou think there’s anything going on with Q’s eyes? like can they see ok?#I know it’s a part of their character design but oh my gosh those pupils#I feel like that would seriously hamper your vision#ok I need to stop myself before I write a full chapter of nonsense in the tags alskjdjdjd#ask box#bsd dazai#goblin anon
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Imaginary Caretaker: An imaginary friend that's experienced when regressed that takes care of the regressor. For example, an imaginary friend who reminds a regressor to eat or clean, or who plays with the regressor.
If you experience more than one of the above listed, please pick which one you have the most often.
Despite age being used in the question, any regressor can respond to the poll, and so can system littles or those with similar experiences!
This is for a panel we're doing so reblogs for a variety of responses are appreciated! It's specifically about fiction-adjacent experiences, hence why the results are the way they are. Feel free to talk about your experiences in the replies, all responses will be anonymized in the panel itself!
#we wanted to do an actual survey on this but I don't think we'll have the time so quicker poll it is#age regression#agere#agere community#agere polls#pet regression#petre#syskid#permakid#tumblr polls#imaginary caretakers#imaginary caregivers#we might still do the survey on this based on the results of this poll so I guess this is a test
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i think i also just don’t think that like… 9/11 happening in the same country as you…. is the same as being kidnapped and drugged and brutally electroshocked and otherwise meant to suffer extreme physical pain and kept awake for 36 hours at a time for weeks on end. like those are both bad but they are different. imo.
#i might even venture so far as to say this is a p. 9/11 brained thing to say…#like i do think 9/11 changed the collective american psyche and we as a country to this day haven’t processed it#buuuut…. in a way where i think saying ‘and it was the same as Actual Torture’ is like. a symptom of that#i also have some questions about her use of ‘regression’ here#which is like drawing on Evil MKUltra Psychiatry concepts about turning people into blank slates#but…. IS that what happened to america? did it unbecome itself? or did it become itself perhaps even more so than it had been before……..#idk.#media 2k24
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okay but like genuinely. like for a moment im gonna be completely genuine here. rid15 is legitimately so fucking amazing.
its hilarious, it canNOT take itself seriously 90% of the time, just like. EVERYTHING that is going on all at the same time. like everything is so. its. i cant even explain it. its batshit insane, its beautiful, it gets weirdly serious in a good way at points you dont expect, its just fucking BIZARRE sometimes and like. i love it so fucking much.
like, the rivalry-turned-friendship between denny and fixit??? that wolf guy and his gang of furries/scalies???? that fuckin. porcupine guy who drugs people with his quills and its a random drug each time?????? the time grimlock befriends a monk guy who makes bread and teaches him the art of patience or whatever the fuck through breadmaking???????? like what the fuck is this show on. what is happening. its perfect.
EDIT: the monk guy taught grimlock patience through pretzel making
#talk tag#transformers tag#like legit i think every transformers fan should watch rid15 because it is literally the funniest shit ever to me. its beautiful#local man forced to become father of nine other people who cannot even remotely be slightly normal for even one second or they will die#local man ALSO cannot be normal but he is desperately trying to be#important to mention that out of the said nine other people only one is an actual child#OH and not to mention its tied into transformers prime and rescue bots which makes it literally 100 times funnier#there could NOT have been a better sequel series honestly#bumblebee. buddy. how did you GET here#it literally has everything. furries; comedy; bumblebee age regressing on drugs; blurr from rescue bots comes by for a visit; found family#like i know some of you might say im bluffing or exaggerating but im literally not. this show is insane and i love it
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"very demure, very cutesy, very mindful".... can we please just stop with this shit? PLEAAASE
#like i get that some people are being sarcastic (i believe that's what it actually started out as?)#but still hot take! normalising language like this is kind of setting us back#let's all put our thinking hats on and think about how using words that express such regressive ideals which women are still very much#being held to and judged by might not be good for us??#and of course add on the classic infantilising that we're glorifying#it's up there on the list with “i'm just a girl” and girl math#can we get back on track? like what's happening?#feminism#pers
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This will probably get looks from performative and ultimately harmful non-transfems despite my being transfem but-
Some y'alls only interaction with feminist history and theories, radical feminism regardless of its intersectionality and really any feminism deeper and louder and meaner than blatant choice feminism like the barbie movie and whatever TF taylor swift thinks shes got going on is through your occasional and short interactions with terfs and it shows. You call vagina art terfy and it fucking isnt. Its feminist art. Your brainrot is making you a fucking mra. The fact y'all think talking about the man vs bear situation is about/started/ran by terfs (and encouraged some really questionable other transfems shitting on it despite it clearly just being about women's safety and yes all men, not transphobia.), everything from questioning wether certain groups belong in our community to thinking a word is a slur or having a lesbian icon (I have sources don't test me) or not to not liking a certain band has been called "terf rhetoric". I'm all for us Transmascs talking about how terfs affect us cause they absolutely do and their harm to the transmasc community can not be understated but like.... Y'all are not allowed to call Jack shit terf rhetoric anymore. Like nothing. You don't know what it means, you litterally call transmedicalism and sysmedicalism terf rhetoric. Do you mean exclusionist? Say exclusionist. Terfs are not the end all be all hate group. They have a very specific complex mindset that affects so many people in specific ways. Someone hating Neopronouns is not fucking terf rhetoric. It's nbphobia. Holy fuck. Learn what words mean.
(intersectional trans radfems exist, radical feminism isn't terfs and swerfs and historical radfems would laugh in their faces for their idiocy)
#clover speaks#clover vents#hating bi lesbians is not terf rhetoric vagina art is not terf rhetoric medical sexism is not a terf topic#everytime you call some form or bigotry or some form of deep cut feminism you dont know shit about terf rhetoric#another trans person loses their wings#terfs harm people via certain avenues in specific ways#you've turned it into a fucking meaningless buzzword to decribe everything from opinions you dont like to actual bigotry#its basically gotten the exclusionist radical regressive gatekeep gaslight terreatmemt#words that mean very specific real things but gets so overused it means fuck all now#if your explanation for why something is supposed terf rhetoric is just something something splitting the community#something something exclusionary something something heard one say it once then you dont have the authority to fucking talk about it#I've been in the trenches fighting terfs and learning about their veiws and mindsets to accurately fight and rehabilite them#the hell they've actively put me and many other trans people through can not be understated#one called you a name one sent you a hate anon and sudeenly your the master of knowledge? gtfo#the specifics and deep rooted hate and history of that group is serious and every time you call some fucking#meaningless community discourse about if some inane insult is a slur like stupid or freak and call it terf rhetoric#you give terfs more fog to hide in you obscure the enemy that much more#you make it harder to find real actual terfs and their nazi friends when you call a fucking antikin a terf for being antikin#stop comparing other groups to terfs and heres a quick ajd easy way to identify if something is actually fucking terf rhetoric#dose the topic specifically talk about terfs or terfism or transmysogny/transandrophobia in the context of exclusionary radical feminism?#if the answer is yes then their might KEY WORD MIGHT be terf rhetoric involved.#if the answer is no then its not fucking terf rhetoric plain and fucking simple#find another buzzword milo because transmedicalism by definition cant BE FUCKING TRANS EXCLUSIONARY RADICAL FEMINIST RHETORIC#God this fucking community sometimes is so fucking exhausting#reminding me yet again that its mostly young and mostly people who lose their minds when i bring up terfs and racism#and yes you perisex afab trans person who thinks this isnt about you and the random shit youve false flagged as terfy#this is about you and your misusage of a serious allegation and association to falsely claim some terminally online take is terfy#You just make me hold my head in my hands and sigh really loud and try not to send you to the shadow realm#Not everything an alleged terf believes makes something terfism or terfy#please actually learn what words mean before you use them and make an ass of yourself called some tranfem exclusionist a fucking terf psyop
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My relationship with age regressing is more complicated then most peoples. On one hand, I don't think its very normal to suddenly be scared of the dark, have an immense need to have things in my mouth (which usually end up being my fingers), and become very distressed when I lose one of my stuffies, when I'm going to sleep and also find a lot of comfort in the idea of being taken care of/carried/generally treated younger then I am...
But on the other hand, I barely do this when not going to sleep so maybe this is just what being sleepy does to a person and I can never define my exact age when this happens. Like I know what my physical age is yet my mental age sure is??? An age??? Probably??? and pretty much every age regress or has SOME sort of age range no matter how vague so maybe this is some secret other thing that's not age regressing and I think I'm speaking too much sorry about this post I'll probably impulsively delete it in the morning
#This is a bit depressing for an agere account I think#But I'm generally depressing and constantly over thinking everything even when I don't show it so hey this is. Just the way I am#also this does not get better when I'm experiencing this thing I think like 60% could be age regression. Actually if I do think about this-#- all it gets WORSE when “regressed”. Which is not normal. I think.#Idk why am I even saying this nobody is gonna care enough to respond and theres only one person who I believe to be genuine when saying-#Nice things to me and Idk if they'll care about this post.#Actually I think they might! They've cared about my problems before so. They might not ignore this post#That would make me feel a bit better
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im tired man
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in dire need of expanding my artistic knowledge/interest, burdened w/ overwhelming laziness
#tomee talks#i should prob just revive/convert my old aesthetic blog from 2016#i don't think i've been on my dashboard for like 6/7 yrs atp might be nice to actually use tumblr as intended again#can't rly be bothered w/ fandom stuff anymore so it's likely just gonna be art history & misc art/comics/film ect#w/e drives me back into wanting to make art again i've been feeling like i'm regressing in quality :P
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#lies of p#sketch#a part of me screams a little bit because i've regressed in terms of drawing quality + actually doing digital#but i still want to show what i've been thinking about in regards some oc LOP content#Cheshire is a reference to one of my OCs that i -might- draw eventually to explain the dynamic#pinnochio
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im so disappointed in my art lately . im not a beginner artist, but i feel like everything i do looks like i am . i feel like it would only be acceptable for a beginner . i havent made any progress since i was 11 . today is not a good day
#artist problems? except i barely even count as an artist atp#non serious vent sorry#i dont usually textpost because i much prefer just sticking it in the tags and hoping i forget about it#but i dont have anything to post. i literally have not been able to make anything at all.#does any other artist feel like this?#i know everyone says they feel like this but i cant decide if its comforting or condescending#all the other artists say “oh i hate my art!” when their art is good because its just the artists eye or whatever its called#and on one hand its comforting because everyone hates their art#but on the other hand its so discouraging because if you hate your art so much#how does mine look? how bad is mine?#i dont like talking abt weed bc its kinda weird for a 14 year old but i feel like the only times i can draw without crying -#- is when im high#i dont know i need to take a break or something#might focus on writing but everything is just so frustrating to me lately#i cant promise literally anything anymore because everytime i get excited to create its just GONE so fast#becaus i cant like anything i make#i keep searching for some kind of art advice that will actually help but i never can figure out how to apply it#and most of it is just “keep practicing!” as if i havent been practicing since i was 8 years old#i feel like at this point i have to just start all the way over but i dont even know how#at this point i would rather art regress than keep churning out the same mediocre garbage ive been drawing since 2022#and its not even that im pressuring myself to draw. its that all my art has just looked the same for so long and im so frustrated#i literally cannot draw anything without crying anymore its really upsetting#anyway sorry for the negativity on main :( this blog has kinda become my diary and im just an overdramatic teenager or whatever i dont know
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