#You ask me what I have there and I burst into tears

[ebodebo]

minors beware!

shameless smut w simon in... (age-gap shit also)

three…

two…

one…

“Too old for you,” Simon remarks as you approach him, mask hiked above his nose. He takes a swig of his bourbon, his disinterest evident.

"So you’ve said," you reply, rolling your eyes slightly before grinning and settling into the stool next to him at the empty bar.

He stares intently at the television in front of him, locked onto a local news channel.

But it’s clear he’s not watching to catch the latest on the new pizza place opening this Sunday or to hear the heartwarming story of the little boy who saved his dog from choking.

It was to avoid you.

"I know you're avoiding me, Simon," you simply say, eyes glazing over his hands that twitch slightly around his cold glass.

"What gave it away?" His tone is dry.

It would have made you run with your tail between your legs at his apparent disinterest if you didn’t know he was interested in you.

Even if he's pretending not to be.

You remember how hard he had gotten when you'd barely even touched him, manicured nails running across his shirt to get a piece of fuzz off, about had him bursting through his cargo pants.

Or when he practically whimpered your name to get him to come.

His issue lies more within himself.

More specifically, his age.

Thinks you should be with someone more your age and not some 'old brute' such as himself.

He basically lectured you all while he was on the verge of release while you were bouncing on his cock.

You laughed in his face.

He came hard.

After that, he left, leaving a note about how he thought it'd be best for you two to stop seeing each other so you could find someone more...what did he say?

"Age-appropriate."

You rolled your eyes at the note because you couldn't care less about how old he was.

You just wanted him.

And so, by God, you'll have him.

"Funny," you remark with a sarcastic tone, narrowing your eyes at his avoidance of eye contact.

He takes another swig of his drink, eyes still laser focused on the news station.

“Why won’t you look at me?” You ask, your frustration growing with each passing moment.

“Afraid you’ll claw my eyes out,” he says in a casual tone.

“I wouldn’t claw your eyes out,” you say matter-of-factly, resting your chin in your palm. “I’d do something more practical like…” You let your eyes scan the bar before lighting up as you spot a metal shaker.

Your eyes move to face him. “…hit the side of your head with that metal shaker,” you tip your head to the shaker behind the bar.

You’re sure you see his eyes crinkle from laughter.

"Ah, very practical," he says with a hint of humor.  

"I told you so," you reply with a smile, chuckling at the sheer absurdity of it all.  

Simon lets out a gravelly laugh, clearly amused by your delight.  

This entire situation is utterly ridiculous, and you both know it.  

Yet, instead of feeling uncomfortable, you find it all downright hilarious.  

"Simon," you manage to say between fits of laughter, your fingers reaching up to wipe a tear of joy from your cheek.  

"Mhm," he responds, briefly glancing at you before returning his attention to the television. 

"I want you to fuck me," you say earnestly, shifting from playful to serious in an instant.

Your expression remains straight-faced.

Simon's head snaps around to meet your gaze, his eyes widening in disbelief.

"What?" He replies, his tone straddling the line between astonishment and intrigue.

You narrow your eyes. "You heard me."

His eyes stay fixed on yours, his lip quipping a bit.

"You want me to fuck you?" His voice is low and grumbly, almost arrogant.

"Wouldn't be the first time," you remark, teeth coming out to chew on your bottom lip.

He carefully assesses you for a moment, eyes lazily moving to watch your teeth chew on your lip. "I'm old," he lazily says.

As if that was supposed to deter you.

"And?" You prompt, hand coming to skim his knee over his cargo pants.

He lets out a ragged breath, fingers tightening around his glass of bourbon. 

"Better be careful, sweetheart," he mutters through his tight throat.

Your hand moves up to brush against his thigh. "Why's that?"

"You're gonna start somethin' you can't finish," his eyes lock onto yours, dark and desperate.

You lean in closer, your tongue flicking out to moisten your lips, leaving a glistening sheen behind.

"Who says I can’t finish?" You tease, your hand inching nearer where Simon aches.

His breath is unsteady, and his pupils are dilated.

"You should know," you begin, wet lips hovering only inches away from his ear. "I always finish."

And that was it.

The straw that broke the camel's back.

Simon’s undoing, if you will.

His hands moved faster than you could speak as he grasped your wrist, throwing a twenty on the counter before leading you out of the bar and into the parking lot toward his truck waiting nearby.

He opened the passenger door, urging you to get in while he hurried to the driver’s side. With an impatient tug, he yanked the door open and slid into the seat.

“Take your pants off,” he mumbles as he throws the truck into gear to peel out of the parking lot.

“Where are we going?” You ask, your voice brimming with excitement rather than nervousness, as you eagerly slide your pants down and let them drop to the mat on the floor.

“You want me to fuck you,” his voice is gruff as he white knuckles the steering wheel seeing you in your pretty lace panties, easing towards a nearby empty lot. “I’ll fuck you.”

Oh, shit.  

Your eyes widen at his straightforwardness, but it’s not from fear; it’s pure desire.  

A flutter spreads in your stomach, and heat washes over your body.  

“Come here,” he murmurs, shifting his seat back slightly to make room for you.  

Without a word, you swing your legs over the middle console to straddle him as your hands reach his shoulders.

"You wear these for me?" He mutters as he snaps the elastic band of your panties back onto your sensitive skin, lips coming to skim against your shoulder blade.

You release a small moan at the sensation, fingers gliding through his hair with ease, a sense of familiarity within the touch. "Yeah," your voice is breathy as your eyes bore into his, awaiting his approval.

"Still so good for me," he breathes against your skin, scooting himself impossibly closer to you.

You can feel him straining through his cargo pants.

Your fingers fumbled from his hair to delicately unzip his zipper, slipping his pants and boxers down to reveal his, as you expected, very erect cock, already leaking pre-come.

"So wet, sweetheart," he gruffs as his finger trails to gently push aside your soaked panties.

Your body jerks forward at the feeling of his rough, cold finger spreading you to accommodate his cock.

"Grab my shoulders," he advises, as he brushes the head against your aching clit before pushing himself into you, your cunt swallowing him whole.

You let out a deep moan at the feeling of him in you while he rips his mask off before leaning forward and capturing your lips in a rough, deep kiss.

His fingers find your waist, digging deep into the fat as he helps you find a good pace.

You're losing your mind, already feeling euphoric.

His grunts merge with your whines, slipping out of both your mouths, sloppily swapping spit and nips from your teeth.

You grip his shoulders tighter as you speed up your pace, grinding and bouncing on him with intention, trying to get the knot in your stomach to finally unravel. 

He can't even think straight; all his words are reduced to guttural grunts or quiet curses spilling for his tongue and into your mouth.

"I could be your father," he hisses, a hint of disgust creeping into his voice just as he's about to come.

You don't even focus on what he's saying as you feel yourself edging closer and closer to release, just a little more.

"Please, please," he chokes out, voice shaky.

He's begging, no pleading for you to squeeze him dry.

Drain him for every last drop he has to offer.

And so you do.

You wail as you come, as he throws his head back on the headrest, shaking with relief. 

You're still coming down from your highs before Simon mutters a strained, 'Should we go again?'

You let out a breathy laugh, hissing as his cock moves against you. "You sure do have a high libido for an old man," you tease, voice hoarse.

His eyes meet yours instantly, a lazy smirk growing on his lips. 

"You have no fuckin' idea."

author’s note: been having sm fun writing these little drabbles...i have SO many more thoughts. just you wait! also, feel free to send me cute little asks on more scenerios you would like to see hehe

wanna join my taglist?

divider by @/saradika-graphics

[woso-dreamzzz]

New Girlfriend V

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle x Teen!Reader

Summary: You drop a mug

You could feel the blood.

There was more of it than you thought.

You hadn't really felt the pain, not exactly.

Your hands had been shaking for hours now. You'd probably had too many energy drinks in a twenty-four hour period and the shaking was probably a combination of that and the serious sleep deprivation you were feeling.

It was almost inevitable that you would drop your mug of tea. It was almost inevitable that the sound of the impact of the ceramic on the floor had you knock your bowl of dry cereal off the counter as well. It was almost inevitable that you would scramble around in the darkness trying to clean up. It was almost inevitable that you would end with cuts.

You hadn't exactly felt the pain, not really anyway. It was more like you felt the initial slice but then there were more slices and too much pain for your brain to keep up with and your shaking limbs was too much.

You just couldn't grab things without the shaking making everything worse.

You don't know how long you spent on the kitchen floor, numb and confused. It was still dark, still the middle of the night and you could barely see anything.

"Nar-Narla?" You manage to croak out as the familiar warm body of your childhood dog nosed at your body.

You grip her fur, trying to bring yourself back to the present but you can feel the blood drip down your arm.

Maybe there were cuts on your arm. You're not really sure but you can't close your hand without bursting into tears at the intense pain that seems to echo around your body.

Narla tries to nose at you again but you can't bring yourself to touch her anymore and she skitters off, finding her way into Lucy's room where she and Ona remain blissfully asleep.

"Nar-Narla?" Lucy croaks as the dog insistently barks from the floor," What is it?"

Narla, of course, can't speak so responds in another high pitched, yappy bark.

"Narla, man," Lucy groans," Go back to bed. Bed! Go!"

But Narla doesn't go and Lucy switches on her lamp to properly look at her but all she can see is the red stains on Narla's fur and sits bolt upright.

She reaches for the dog but Narla is too quick, scampering away briefly before waiting for Lucy to catch up.

"Narla, it's too early to play these games, come here. I mean-"

Lucy flicks on the light to the kitchen.

She spots you first, sitting down with a glazed over look in your eyes are you cradle one of your arms close to your body.

She can see the blood too and the shattered mug and bowl on the floor, the blood and the tea and the dry cereal all mixing with each other.

"Ona!" Lucy yells," Ona! Get up! We-We need to get in the car! Ona!"

She grabs a stray tea towel, wrapping it tightly around your arm to stem the blood flow as she does the same with another one for your hand, pulling the limb up above your head.

"Hey, hey," She coos at you, lightly tapping you on the cheek," Are you with me, y/n? I'm here."

Your eyes are still glazed over and it's like you don't have control of your own body as you shake and Lucy can smell the overly sweet scent of one of your energy drinks in your breath.

"Mu-Mummy?"

You don't call her that often, not unless you're angling to get something that you wouldn't usually receive. Or, unless you were hurt to the point you weren't thinking straight.

"Yeah," Lucy says," Yeah, it's Mummy. Come on, stay with me, alight? We're going to get you some help. Just hang in there....Ona! Come on!"

Ona comes skidding down the stairs, hand covering her mouth as her eyes try to make sense of the trail of carnage in the kitchen.

"The nearest hospital is a twenty minute drive," She says," We'll get there quicker than if we call an ambulance."

"Can you stand?" Lucy asks softly but you give no response apart from your shaking," Let's try."

It's easy work to lift you to your feet but the shaking clearly isn't localised to your arms because you can barely stand up straight and Lucy isn't sure if it's because of the energy drinks or the blood loss but she hefts you up onto her back on the walk to the car.

"My-My girlfriend..." Ona chokes out to the nurse in charge of triage. "Her daughter...There's...There's a lot of blood."

The nurse types something on her computer. "Well, if you all have a seat and we'll-"

You're still on Lucy's back when she comes in. The towels she's tried to use to stem the blood flow have all been bled through and you barely look conscious, your skin pale to the point of concern and the nurse grabs at the phone on her desk.

"Go straight through," The nurse says," I'll have someone come to you immediately."

The rest of the night is a blur to you.

You go in and out of consciousness, moments of complete clarity and moments where you can barely recognise where you are.

You get flashes that you're not sure you even lived through.

Like Lucy holding you in her lap while someone strange holds your arm down against a table or like Ona lightly talking to you, soothing words in a language you can only half hear or like a hanging bag of blood connected to your uninjured arm.

"M-Mummy?" You ask weakly as you blink back into full consciousness in the car, your head pillowed against her shoulder.

"Hey," Lucy says softly," You with us again?"

You blink a few more times, to clear your head and vision.

Ona's in the front seat of the car, stealing a few looks at you in the rear view mirror.

"I...I feel weird."

Your voice sounds strange even to your own ears as you hear yourself, all slurred and strange.

"You're on some pretty hardcore medication right now," Lucy tells you gently, fingers carding through your hair," You bled out a lot. A blood transfusion too."

"I...Really? I didn't...I didn't mean to."

"It's okay," Ona says," We know. It's alright."

"I..." You stare down at your arm.

A long bandage is wound from your elbow down to your hand and the skin feels oddly tight under it. Your other arm had a tiny little plaster stuck onto it from where you assume the needle from your blood transfusion went in.

"It's alright," Lucy says softly," You're tried. It's late. We'll talk more in the morning."

"The...My mice..." You manage to croak out," I wasn't meant to leave them out for so long. They're still in the playpen."

That shocks a laugh out of Lucy.

"The mice will be fine," She says," Let's get you to bed first and then me and Ona will sort out the mice."

You nod, the energy feeling like it's been sapped from you as quickly as it'd arrived. Your eyelids droop down and you snuggle more firmly against Lucy's shoulder.

"That's...That's good. Just-Just be wary of Princess Zelda. She's started biting."

[pedge-page]

Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife: The Ice Cream Fiasco

Summary: Wifey's first pregnancy cravings hit, and Joel has to troubleshoot options. (takes place early on first pregnancy)

Warnings: Fluff, crazy emotions flying, swearing, and vulgar sexual language at the end.

- - - -

Ya’ll might think that Joel had always been the perfect husband, suited to adapt to your any and all needs like he was born with it the moment you were pregnant.

I’m here to tell you, he wasn’t always that on top of it. In fact, the man had quite a bit of failures at first.

There’s also a reason why Clive’s Creamery is the go-to destination for all your desserts. In fact, its the same reason the Dairy Queen right next door is excommunicated in the Miller Household…

He remembered when the first cravings started. You had wanted a blizzard. Cookie dough. Chocolate ice cream. LARGE.

Easy Peasy.

He gets just that, plus a small chocolate ice cream dipped in hard shell for himself. 

Well, you didn’t know he was going to get himself something. Something that, quite frankly, as soon as you saw him holding it for himself as you greedily accepted the jumbo cup of blizzard, you suddenly wanted more.

He is about to take a bite of his ice cream when you loudly shout, “Ah ah!”

He almost drops the damn thing. “What’s wrong?”

“Can—can I have some…whatever you don’t finish?” You ask politely. You were still holding yourself accountable from any outburst that might want to…burst out.

Though, you doubted you'd reach that point ever.

He nods. That’s reasonable. He can just… eat the shell, and you could have the filling part!

When he hands you his saliva-melting ice cream, licked and bitten clean of the hard shell, you face sours.

“What the fuck Joel. Why would I want this?”

“What do you mean…you said you would finish it?” 

You stomp your foot down almost like a tantrum ridden child. “I WANTED THE HARD SHELL. WHY WOULD I WANT THIS.”

“I didn’t know! You didnt say—!”

“DO I HAVE TO, MILLER?” You roared, getting on your heels with threatening eyes, diminishing him. “DO I HAVE TO BE EXPLICIT ABOUT SOMETHING SO OBVIOUS?”

He’s half scrunched to fear, never having seen you so ferocious over some measly ice cream, when suddenly the loud gurgling from your stomach cuts the air.

You look down briefly at your tummy. Your hand clasps it gently before you're quickly wobbling off to the bathroom. 

He stands there, a bit confused, but now he knows for next time. Joel just finishes off the rest of his cone, chucking the honey coated wrapper when—

“DID YOU JUST FINISH IT?????????” You bellow, returning from the hallway.

“Y-you--said you didn't want it now!”

“JOEL. MOTHERFUCKING. MILLER.”

But before you start another shout, your face quickly softens, down turning into a trembling mess as you let out a devastating wail. “I—j-j-just—wa—wanted!—hiccup—it!” You cry. 

And holy hell, you cried. He’d never seen you cry so hard, let alone for a half eaten ice cream cone.

You fell to your knees and gripped his forearm, tears splashing down your cheeks as you huffed.

This might be... a lot more difficult of a pregnancy than he originally thought.

-

Ok so Joel learned very quickly — bring the wife next time.

His next trial came very soon in the face of the next evening.

As he rolls up to the drive-thru window, you announce quickly “CHOCOLATE. DIPPED IN HARD SHELL. WITH—“

But the young worker quickly interrupts “We’re out of chocolate.”

He didn’t know why, but something chilly just ran right through Joel’s soul right there.

You blinked at the clerk. “Excuse me?”

“Um—we don’t have chocolate. We’re out—“

You lean over Joel. “What. Do. You. Mean. You’re. Out?”

“Um—we’re… just… out—“

“Say it again.”

Visibly shaking now, the kid says softly, “there’s… no more… choc—“

Like a dog off her leash, you lunge over Joel’s lap, your palm crashing down on his crotch, causing him to slam his head on the roof. You pay no mind, ready to tear the poor kid to shreds.

“WHAT KIND OF ICE CREAM PLACE DOESN’T HAVE CHOCOLATE??? YOU GOT VANILLA RIGHT? RIGHT????”

“Y-yes—?” The kid said frighteningly, looking around for help.

“YOU GOT SOME CHOCOLATE SAUCE?”

“Y—“

“THEN WHAT’S thE PROBLEM HUH? WHERE’S THE CHOCOLATE? HUH YOU GOT VANILLA? AND CHOCO--WHAT'S SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND? WHY ARE YOU EVEN OPEN—“

Joel finally regains his composure, his arm protectively holding you back as you lament, eyes crazy and teeth foaming like a rabid raccoon.

“I’msorryimsorryimsorryimsorry—“ he repeats to the kid, just as he puts the car in drive and leaves the line.

You settle back down in your seat grumpily.

Joel stares forward, frightened by the beast next to him. 

“Okay. Where are you taking me next for some ice cream?” You ask innocently, as if you weren’t about to be charged with assaulting some teen for no chocolate ice cream.

Joel hesitantly glared back at you.

What kind of demon baby was brewing inside you?

-

So now we’re back to making sure you DON’T participate in your own snack runs. Joel gives you a menu ahead of time so you can mark off the items you want like a sushi checklist. Then he calls you right before he orders to make sure it’s still what you want.

But Dairy Queen was on day 3 of no chocolate ice cream.

He finds you furiously typing on his desktop keyboard when he gets home, slams the print button, and tears off the sheet.

“Mail this,” you seethe, scribbling down the address on a note sheet.

Joel takes on look at the first line and knew immediately he’s putting this in the shredder:

DEAR MOTHERFUCKER.

It was a letter addressed to the Dairy Queen corporate head office, specifically, the CEO’s desk.

He scanned briefly: lots of “you motherfuckers” this and “chocolate is a birthright” that. Even a sentence that read “I will personally pop my baby out in your lap and eat your innards alive if you do not provide the chocolateS to the local church [the address of the Dairy Queen next store]”

The “signature” line was your signature alright, with a hefty spit you had personally left.

He looks up at you, only to see you’re beaming with pride. 

“It’s good right? That’ll get their attention. No more of this ‘no chocolate’ nonsense.”

Joel didn’t have the heart to tell you that it wasn’t the chocolate that was missing. He had stopped by this afternoon and asked if there was an update, only to find the machine that mixed it was down and missing a spare part. Said it would be another week before it would be up and working though.

He had to find an alternative and fast. Preferably before you find out he never mailed that letter, and definitely before you storming into the building with a torch and gasoline.

“I don’t even LIKE Dairy Queen!” You shouted in the middle of the house, folding your arms with a pout. “I DON’T EVEN LIKE —"

“Who are you talking to?” Joel asks, bringing you your lemonade. 

“The Dairy Gods.” You drop your voice to a whisper, “Maybe they’ll think if I’m not on to them, they’ll bring it back.”

You were officially going insane.

So Joel started asking around. Something that only had good reputation, welcoming to kids and adults, extended hours… None of his friends had any idea. Even Tommy, so immune to your wrath, asked simply "What about that dairy queen next to your--"

"Don't even say it."

He needed some inside scoop (sigh) from some hardcore locals...

He slides a crisp $5 bill to the one 7 year old boy down the block. “What you got?” Joel asks, looking around as if they’re making a criminal deal.

“I know a place…” he brags, checking the authenticity of the bill.

“Ain’t got all day kid. Where?”

“It’s called Clive’s…Clive’s Creamery.”

Joel hadn’t heard of it. “S’good?”

“The BEST.”

“How about chocolate? They got that?”

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“You wanna make the drive out there and find out?”

Joel grits his teeth and ponies up another $5.

The kid flicks it satisfyingly. “Chocolate is their speciality. I recommend the milkshakes…I’m sure there’s one for ya lady.”

Joel rubs his curly head with a stern look. “Alright. Get on ya bike. And don’t be coming’ over to my house in 9 months askin’ if my newborn can play with ya. You’re too old.”

“Likewise, silver!” The kid shouted, poking his tongue out before peddling away on his bike.

Joel scoffed, but then took a moment to feel his beard and stubble…wondering if those stray grays were getting less stray…

-

Gentleman Joel helped you into the passenger seat.

“Where we goin’? You ask, cooke crumbs cascading from your open mouth and all over the car seat.

He settles in and turns on the car.

He smirks. “Somewhere new. Its gonna be a surprise, baby—“

You grip his hair and yank him down to your nose. “Don’t pull this shit Miller, tell me where ya takin’ me,” you growl.

“ICE CREAM.  ITS ICE CREAM!” He shouts, and you quickly let go.

“Ooh yay!” You clap your hands together and face forward, excited once again.

It’s a 12 minute drive, not nearly as long as he thought. He’s taking a big risk, bringing you here without testing the goods first.

God, those $10 bucks he lost to that kid better have been worth it…

He parks along the side of the street. The shop is small on the outside, almost unnoticeable amongst the rows of boutiques and thrift stores.

He opens the door for you, and is instantly greeted by a heavenly, sweet, but tolerable gust of chocolate scented air.

Your jaw drops: “THE MOTHERSHIP!”

The place looked like Willy Wonka’s Chocolate factory.  Rows of handmade bite sized sweets and candy encrusted chocolate bars, with walls adorned with endless tubes of M&M’s, truffles, and caramel bites. The main eye catcher was the handmade ice cream section right in the middle with its rumbling state of the art soft serve machine and benders running a hundred miles a minute whipping up a decadent array of all sorts of flavors.

Joel should have paid that kid $50.

He loses you for just a moment ,but you’re already repeating your order while looking at the board at the cashier. “Yes the—Fudge Cookie Dough Chocolate Gooey Fantasy milkshake please. Can you add extra rainbow sprinkles?”

That sounds like death in a cup, Joel thinks.

She rings it up. “That’s $11.98.”

Your feet immediately shuffle to Joel.

It takes him a second to clear his ear out. “12 bucks for a milkshake??” He says a little too loudly. 

You stare at him with incessant, almost deadly eyes.

“I mean yeah. Here—“ he hands the cash.

They whip it up in no time. You’re too giddy standing at the receiving window, foots stammering back and forth like a little marcher as you’re handed an absolute chocolate monstrosity in a tall glass.

You tear the straw wrapper with your teeth, puck it in, and take that first sip.

This better have been worth it…

He waits for your reaction.

At first, nothing, but then a shiver runs through your entire body, not quite like a cold one but like an orgasm resetting your brain.

“Joel.”

“Yeah? How is it?”

“Let’s go home.”

“Why? What’s wrong.”

“Take me home now.”

Ah shit, it wasn’t good? What now? Why—“

“I want you to fuck me in the ass while I drink this—“

He covers your lips with his burly hand. “Alright just—lets use quiet voice—“

But you mumble through, with no care: “I want your big fat meaty cock absolutely devastating my pussy and rearranging my guts while I drink this, and then I’ll give you the sloppiest hand job known to man—“

He’s pushing you out the door as quickly as possible.

Guess even when it’s a good experience, he still shouldn’t be bringing you out in public.

You slurp your creamy shake all the way home. At one point, you offer him some, and he gladly dips his head so his tongue can capture the straw. He’s dying to know what all the fuss is about, especially since you’re rubbing on hand on your crotch while the other holds the shake.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t even have a second to start sucking before you pull it out of his mouth. “Don’t drink it all!” You scold, sucking it back down for yourself. 

Anyway, you two end up having some of the best sex of your life. 

And Joel learns $12 for a milkshake is a fantastic deal.

- - - -

Taglist:

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrsoharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @puduvallee @cassiecasluciluce @loohoop @himboelover @callsignwidow @wintersquirrel @fluffygoffpanda @picketniffler @bbyanarchist @jeewrites

[sturniololuvz]

Omg Hii!! I love all your sturniolo little sister fics and k was wondering if you could do one where she is maybe 14 or 15 and she goes to get her wisdom teeth removed and shes really scared and they comfort her while she’s getting them out and after she’s done? Sorry that was a really long sentence 😂!

lmaoooooo yes

“Wisdom Teeth & Secrets”

Sturniolos x sister

Warnings : none

Y/N was freaking out.

She sat in the dentist’s office, gripping the armrests of the chair like she was about to be executed. Her heart was pounding, her palms were sweaty, and her brothers—Matt, Nick, and Chris—were standing around her, trying (and failing) to calm her down.

“Dude, it’s not that bad,” Nick said, sitting on the stool next to her.

Y/N shot him a glare. “Not that bad? They’re gonna rip my teeth out.”

Chris smirked. “Technically, they’re cutting them out.”

“CHRIS!” Matt smacked the back of his head.

“What? I’m just being factual.”

Y/N groaned, throwing her head back. “I wanna go home.”

Matt grabbed her hand. “You’re gonna be okay, bug. I promise.”

She exhaled shakily. “But what if—”

“Nope,” Chris cut her off, grabbing her other hand. “No ‘what ifs.’ You’re gonna go in there, let them do their thing, and when you wake up, we’re taking you to get ice cream.”

Nick nodded. “And you’ll probably say some dumb shit while you’re still drugged up, so honestly, it’ll be fun for us.”

Y/N groaned again. “I hate you all.”

Matt grinned. “Love you too, kid.”

Then the nurse walked in, smiling kindly. “Alright, Y/N, we’re ready for you.”

She froze.

Matt squeezed her hand. “You got this.”

Chris nudged her. “Be a champ.”

Nick smiled. “We’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Y/N exhaled, nodded hesitantly, and followed the nurse.

When she woke up, she was high as hell.

The first thing she saw was Matt sitting next to her, and she immediately burst into tears.

“Mattyyyy,” she slurred, grabbing his face.

Matt blinked. “Oh, God.”

Nick and Chris walked in at that exact moment, and Y/N immediately reached for Chris.

“CHWISSY!”

Chris cackled. “Oh, she’s gone.”

Nick pulled out his phone, already recording.

“Do you feel okay?” Matt asked gently, brushing her hair back.

Y/N sniffled dramatically. “I love you soooo much.”

Chris snorted. “Dude, we know.”

She turned to Nick, her face dead serious. “You’re my favorite.”

Chris gasped. “EXCUSE ME?”

Matt raised a brow. “Since when?”

Y/N just giggled, leaning into Nick. “He’s so cute.”

Nick lost it. “What?”

Chris looked offended. “You think Nick is cute? I’M cute.”

Y/N waved him off. “Shhh, you’re annoying.”

Matt smirked. “She’s finally being honest.”

Chris gasped again. “Bro, I’ve been carrying you all day, and this is the thanks I get?”

Then Y/N giggled. “I have a secret.”

Nick’s eyes widened. “Oh, let’s hear it.”

Matt warned, “Dude, don’t take advantage of her being drugged up.”

Chris ignored him. “Nah, spill.”

Y/N grinned, looking mischievous. “I stole your hoodie last week.”

Chris gasped for the third time. “I KNEW IT!”

Nick laughed. “Oh, she’s wild.”

Y/N pointed at Matt. “You have a crush on that girl from the grocery store.”

Matt’s face turned red. “What?”

Chris and Nick turned to him immediately. “Wait, WHO?”

Matt groaned. “Y/N, shut up.”

She giggled. “I saw you looking at her.”

Chris laughed so hard he had to sit down. “THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER.”

Nick wiped a fake tear. “I’m so proud.”

Y/N yawned, leaning into Matt’s chest. “I wanna go home.”

Matt sighed, rubbing her back. “Yeah, okay, let’s get you out of here.”

Chris smirked. “I’m posting all of this.”

Nick grinned. “Oh, for sure.”

Y/N mumbled, “I hate you guys.”

Matt kissed the top of her head. “Love you too, bug.”

[shroomdle]

**Birthday Blues**

Short Story // Comfort // Birthday

Ghost and Soap

⬇️Start⬇️

“Happy Birthday Lt!” Soap shouted and busted down Ghost’s bedroom door. He wanted to sleep in but it seemed that was not going to happen. The Scot was by his bedside within seconds. Speaking about something Ghost didn’t quite catch. He had just woken- been woken up and nothing made sense yet.

Grunting Ghost sat up in bed, going to tell Soap to quiet down. He didn’t exactly want everyone to know it was his birthday. In fact he wasn’t even sure how Soap had found out in the first place.

However, before he could even speak a tray of food was shoved into his lap. Waffles with a side of syrup. Butter coated the top of the waffles and melted there slowly.

“It’s your birthday, or did I get the date wrong?” Soap fumbled in his pocket, pulling out a cracked to hell phone with a smile. “No, it’s today.” Soap looked back to the sleepy man. Blonde feathered hair stuck up in random places. Tired brown eyes blinking down looking at the meal Soap had placed before them.

“I appreciate the thought, but I don’t celebrate my birthday. Everytime I try something goes wrong. Trust me.” Ghost finally managed to explain. Maybe he could save this. “I’ll eat the food though. Haven’t had breakfast in bed before.”

Pursing his lips, Soap looked in deep thought. “Well, today we are celebrating it. Sooo, eat up. Gonna need all the energy you can get for today!”

Sleep would have also given him energy, Ghost thought. He scooted back and started on the waffle. Even the syrup had been warmed up. A small part of him felt this was too much already. He didn’t want to be doted on.

As reluctant as Ghost was, Soap managed to get him out of bed and even out the door. Driving them all the way up into the mountains. Supposedly there was a small town there and Soap was excited to spend the day with him. Celebrating his birthday to the fullest!

You can imagine how that went..

First the lunch place Soap wanted to take Ghost had been closed. He didn’t check before they left, of course.

Then the truck's wheel got stuck in a random patch of sand. Ghost and Soap had to dig that out. Nothing was going right, as Ghost had assumed would happen.

“That’s it!” Soap shouted hitting the steering wheel. “I know something that not even this damned universe can mess up.” He grumbled and growled driving down the road with determination on his face.

Ghost couldn’t help but laugh, though he continued to go along with it.Soap pulled up to an ice cream parlor, rushing out to check if it was open. It was, even though he again didn’t check beforehand.

Opening Ghosts door Soap stood there proud with his chest puffed out. “Alright, ice cream, everyone loves ice cream. You can sample flavors and get exactly what You want.” Nothing could ruin this.

Stepping out of the truck and into the parlor they were greeted with a young lady, she didn’t look over 20. This might have even been her first job. “What can I get you gentlemen?” She piped up and looked eager to help.

“We were just gonna sample a few flavors then decide.” Soap explained and eyed the ice cream behind the glass. Ghost smiled at how excited he looked.

“Can I try this one?” That went on for a while. Soap trying different flavors and then asking Ghosts opinion.

“It’s..good. What flavor is that one?” Ghost questioned as Soap’s face flushed. Had Ghost really just flirted with him?

“Erm.. this is Lemon Lavender.” Came the reply as Ghost nearly choked.

“W-What? I’m allergic to lavender.” Soap’s face dropped at that. Looking to the woman behind the counter, Soap apologized over and over as he pushed Ghost out the door.

Once Soap and Ghost had been placed in a room at the medical center Soap burst into tears. He sobbed and sniffled, not meeting Ghost’s reddening face.

He wasn’t deathly allergic but he definitely itched.

“I just wanted..” Soap’s words broke off as he cried more, “for you to enjoy your birthday! Then I go.. I go and poison you!”

Laughing, Ghost held his stomach and tried to speak but he couldn’t stop laughing. Soap sniffled once more and glared at Ghost. “It’s not funny!”

“Johnny, this has been the best birthday ever.” Ghost explained as he wrapped an arm around Soap’s waist pulling him into the medical bed with him.

“You don’t have to lie..” Was all the reply Soap offered.

“It is.. I got to spend the whole day with you. It sure won’t be a birthday I’ll forget, that’s for sure.” With that, Ghost leaned in and kissed Soap’s cheek.

Definitely won’t be a birthday he will forget. Not ever.

—————————————————

End~✨

Please, excuse any spelling mistakes…

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

I do really want to terrorpost but I don't feel qualified to be in that fandom man...... everyone is so smart and creative and they all have advanced degrees and I'm just sitting here like I think the lieutenants are in love :3

[lucabyte]

your ocs!!!!! please ramble about them!!!!

i love your art so much

(GRABS YOU) H. CAN DO BOSS.

So ! My ocs. I guess I'll do an overall explainer for the overall groups. If you check out my Toyhouse (LINK!) there's a bunch of folders up top that are how I categorise them. It's primarily by universe except for the folders that are just "misc."

So folder 1: Blatant favouritism:

These are silly little guys that don't fit in any specific wider universe, but I really really like. So I'll spotlight the two important ones before i get real in the weeds with my main universe.

In here are notably, my Fursona (self explanatory), Ali and Pittsburgh Cincinnati. There's also Hauntkit and Clearpelt who are warriorcats ocs that *is dragged away by airport security*

... So, Pittsburgh, lovingly sometimes called pissbug, is a weird little Thing who I made as like, an homage to characters like happy bunny and Sweetypuss. She (and her weird dog) exist to stand next to strange and offputting captions. I love her. No further context. She's just silly. and violent.

Now. Ali.

Ali Alighieri has thoroughly stolen the show, and also ties into the next folder along, Making Your MK.

With over a hundred extra images compared to second place (Sorry, Tabitha). Ali is my fucked up little scrunkly. My little baby guy. They're a shared character of mine and @samhainian's, and is from their Creature Feature setting (A modern fantasy setting wherein Cryptids and Magic are real but in our modern world.) They are as such, a modern human young adult... Who is also a demon + magic user.

Strange little pansexual altersex genderqueer poetry-nerd that they are... The modern setting also means they are literally just a tumblr user. A fellow countryman, so to speak.

HOWEVER.... Ali's true origin was in *Purrgatorio*, a scrapped visual novel of mine set in the MYMK universe! They were simply retrofitted into CF as the joke with Purrgatorio was that a regular human had mysteriously just shown up in MYMK's pure-furry setting.... And then when we scrapped the project we got all attatched to our little not-so-blank-slate protagonist. But I'll put a pin in Purrgatorio for later.

Making Your MK.

(Guest of honour: My super unfinished website <3)

Okay so here's the big one. The setting with.... (looks at spreadsheet) 109 characters not including so-called incidentals. At time of writing.

MYMK is home to... Multiple stories. As you would hope when a setting has 100+ characters. I'd wager each story has about 10-20 relevant characters tops but with a big shared universe like this there gets to be overlap between casts!!! Yay !!! 😊😊😊

MYMK is the name of the main story in the setting. Pronounced "Making your Mark", it is centered around Markus Felidae (The purple one) and their family. It's very action-adventure-y. It's also the plot I'm most secretive about the backend of since I WILL!!!!! Turn it into a nice prose story with pictures SOMEDAY!!!!! But for now tee hee hee secrets secrets. Markus' family is strange and ragtag and is keeping something from them... I can't ramble on too long here unless further prompted in asks about specifics but!!! Everyone in the MYMK folder has a fully furbished little profile with a blurb about them. So if you're curious....

But yeah, I tend to think of the MYMK setting more in terms of its Locations than its Casts, due to the overlapping nature of them all. The Malbranche may be the villains of the main plot, but they're also major players in relation to The Palsgrave who are the antagonists of Moraine, etc etc,

The country everything in MYMK is set in is called New Orphidian, Southern hemisphere little thing, here's a very cartoony map of it.

Um. Cliffside!

Since it's the best map I have... Here's an exclusive sneak peek of a Zine I'll be getting back to once the fandom brain cools down a bit.... :3c

(... I REALLY NEED TO DO A TOUR AROUND THE MINECRAFT CLIFFSIDE SAM AND I BUILT..... IT'S SO CUTE....)

Cliffside is situated on a big ol' Cliff.

A tiny hamlet of a place, it used to have reason to exist, and now does not. It's not even a good tourist locale, as the cliff is much too dangerous compared to the nicer tourist spot of Welkin just a little north. Not to mention nearby Moraine's allure as a tax haven with no labour laws place where a bunch of TV and Movies are filmed!

It's where most of MYMK's main cast reside (except the antagonists from the Big City Varmonte), and is as such a location I have a lot of tiny little worldbuilding thoughts about :)

I won't go into the other locations here just because then this post will SUPER get away from me but... I think most importantly for Cliffside right now...

Is that it's where Purrgatorio is set. Yes, that VN I said got scrapped. It's not dead. It is in fact serving it's original intended purpose as "A (mostly) noncanon exploration of character voice and setting"

It's back and its prose babeyyyyyyy!!! (A BUNCH OF THE EARLY STUFF IS ME BEING SUPER RUSTY ... BE WARNED)

Purrgatorio is currently the most publicly available coherent work I have out of my ocs! It's very low-stakes and serves mostly to bash my toys together and see what character dynamics come out, but you can look if you want to!

(There's also a whole THING on the meta of its Canonicity... It's not canon, but it's also not NOT canon. But if I talk about Metanarrative Timeline Collapse in my normal mundane non-magic setting im gonna sound bonkers ✌)

Ali's dynamics with the MYMK cast are so goddamn funny to me. Like I literally just handed my OCs some ET shit but ET is a sexually repressed tumblr user with a mood disorder.

But yeah I don't think I can coherently string together much more about MYMK without just actually explaining THE WHOLE PLOT.... Though I will absolutely elaborate on any given character's Whole Deal if i'm prompted. (OH MY GOD I DIDNT EVEN TALK ABOUT CHROME AND TABITHA. WAIT. OKAY THERE'S. OK NO IF I TALKED ABOUT THEM IT'D JUST END UP AN ESSAY ,SORRY..)

So here's some bonafide classic images for the road.

(IF TUMBLR BREAKS THE FORMATTING AND JUST PUTS THESE ONE AFTER THE OTHER INSTEAD OF IN A GRID IM SO SORRY LMAOOOOO)

... And as for the other folders on my toyhouse!

Misc and Fandom are what they sound like. Self explanatory,

Then, Ysden is @samhainian's fantasy setting. It's where our DnD games happen to be set but it's also a general fantasy setting :)

and Monster of the Week... Is currently being revamped! It used to be a modern world setting with hidden magic, now it's going to be more... Adventure Time-y. Fantasy world get iphone. Yknow. It has a lower Age Rating than MYMK's "anything goes", as it started as a Pitch Bible Project in my animation class. They're a little neglected but I still love them :) The revamp is extemely recent and not reflected in any of the art/writing yet but I'm workin on it. It still doesn't have a proper title..... OTL

So yeah!! Uh. This wasn't as comprehensive as I was hoping but it turns out I have way, WAY too many thoughts on my guys. And no idea what to do when im actually asked about them so !!!! This was not a very coherent ramble but it was a ramble !

There's things like essays on Chrome and Tabitha (Link) and also The Queer Gender Identities Of The Whole Cast (Link) hiding around on my toyhouse, and once again, Purrgatorio (Link) serves as my sandbox for playing with how these characters act in situations.

But..... ! I did try to make my toyhouse approachable for the average layman. Every character in the MYMK folder (Link) has a *blurb* of information, rather than a giant wall of text explaining everything about them. I want people to be able to understand their general vibe at a glance rather than be overwhelmed.

In any case ???? Uh. Fun game for everyone: If you know your homestuck classpect, every single MYMK character has a classpect and lunar sway. and a birthday. Try and find your andrew-hussie assigned kin! As a Prospitian Witch of Heart, I share my classpect and lunar sway with Chrome. No I don't know what this means. It worries me honestly he's kind of an asshole.

[villa-kulla]

2024 in review:

January: Strong start, fun at work, creative plans, many outings with new people, successful birthday cocktail bash thrown, plans to keep the momentum going -

January 23rd: cat dies

February: depression/crippling loneliness

March: depression/crippling loneliness

April: depression/crippling loneliness

May: depression/crippling loneliness

June: depression/crippling loneliness

July: depression/crippling loneliness/therapy

August: start dating this guy with whom i have a history because that's just what people do isn't it? he loves me and is ready to settle down, so maybe this is it, maybe i should just settle and join this club of monogamy and kids that i've watched every single one of my close friends join over the past 3 years, leaving my the 7th wheel at every single social function because it's ridiculous that I'm in my early 30s and my most significant relationship was with a cat, maybe it's time to finally grow up and settle for someone, you had a very slutty bisexual 20s back when it was cute, but as long as you're still somewhat attracted to guys, might as well let the pendulum settle that way because it'll be societally easier for you in the long run, and all the while you can ignore the voice in the back of your head that this is wrongwrongwrong and you don't want this, also it's too embarrassing to have a sexuality crisis in your 30s when you've been out since your teens but whatever, and you should settle down anyways because maybe it'll give your life purpose i mean look at your past year, maybe you wouldn't have taken the death of your cat so hard, at least you'd have a built-in social circle, and everyone does say that they never felt truly alive until they have kids/partner, and while your parents never pressure you they've certainly hinted that it's weird you haven't settled down yet and you'd be happier with a family of your own, therefore obviously my life must have no other value, maybe they're right, so let's settle down with a guy whom i quite honestly find irritating now and who doesn't spark joy but it's been hard to tell because everything is irritating to me lately and nothing sparks joy, and i try so hard and stay reasonably social and have hobbies that get me out of the house and am financially stable with a challenging full-time job that's sometimes rewarding and eat well and exercise a lot and these are all Healthy™ things to do so why do i feel like dying every time i wake up and have to face getting through the day, and isn't it pitiful that the one who was always Little Miss Talented and Smart and Pretty growing up has amounted to a sad, lonely, unfulfilled girl who hasn't lived up to any of her creative potential, and people will always see her as a cat lady except even more pathetic because her cat is dead, and maybe my best years are really behind me, and i'll just be stuck forever tagging along after friends who've moved on with their lives, so better commit to this guy you find tiresome right because husband + kids = happiness, maybe those nuclear family people are onto something, maybe husbands and kids are for when the rest of your friends get husbands and kids and you start to lose them because the friendship is different no matter what anyone says, and you've always been good at forcing yourself to do what's good for you, and deep down you know this is nonsense and won't solve anything, but it can't possibly make things worse than you've felt all year, and also this Guy feels like his life is starting over with you, but you feel like your life is ending with him, and the only reason you'd stay with him is so people don't pity you, and more than anything you can't bear for people to pity you and you suspect they all secretly are pitying you simply because you're single and there must therefore be something fundamentally wrong with you, and you used to be able to dismiss thoughts like that as stupid, but then again you used to be a lot more happy, and it gets harder and harder to ignore the thought that something is wrong with you, and the only thing worse than other people's pity is self-pity and every time you stop and think about your unhappiness you cry because you don't see how you'll ever feel happy again and you know you don't deserve to feel this way, but you can't actually remember the last time you were happy, it was certainly before your cat died, and I miss him so much and could this guy just stop fucking texting me for one second, oh god it's me, hi, i'm the problem it's me -

September: depression (but busy!)

October: Meds! / break up with guy + floods of relief!

November: Don't even remember

December: Actually kind of okay!

Anyway, Happy almost New Year!

[sysig]

Challenge level: Impossible (Patreon)

[crossbackpoke-check]

Dysprosium, Mary Soon Lee

dysprosium, AN 66, is a silvery-white rare earth metal. its name is derived from the greek dysprositos, meaning “hard to get at”, owing to the difficulty in separating and isolating this rare earth element. dysprosium is used to measure neutron flux, to fuel reactors, and to activate phosphors. terfenol-d is a magnetorestrictive alloy, meaning that it changes shape when a magnetic field is applied, and is used to manufacture underwater acoustic systems.

jason “robo” robertson, dallas stars #21 for @simmyfrobby’s nhl periodic table poems <3

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

my mum supports me in getting accessibility aids when i break down about it but the moment i'm not upset or in tears then it's what if people don't want to talk to you because you're in a wheelchair and what if they think you're fragile and i want you to make friends but this might not help and-

[bubaboos]

pray for me.

[ishouldbedoingalright]

i do dislike having friends sometimes and in turn i do dislike that people don't understand that not everyone will understand each other in every interaction. whether this reflects badly on me or on my friends I just don't know. I suppose it comes down to tone indicators. e.g. I sent a message via teams to my friends, they proceed to call me a moody arse... now to me, nothing about what I said was 'moody' in the slightest, at the most, it was deadpan. tell me why then 2 of my friends double down on the moody vibe I'm clearly putting out to the world. "what's up with you??? you've been an arse all day" all the while I'm sat here genuinely wondering what I have supposedly done wrong. all I did was send a message saying 'i don't understand what you're saying' and that indicates I am being an arsehole. okay. and yes, I am still confused.

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Saudi Arabian Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso(aka me ignoring the penalty)(*edit, I successfully willed away his penalty)

[dravidious]

You're pretty damn cool

I have a ton of untouched games in my steam library, yet I'm currently playing through my old copy of Fossil Fighters Champions, and it's fucking bonkers. This game has the most ridiculous plot points. In one scene a digging robot is breaking through a rock, but it starts running out of battery, so the main character starts trying to help (to no effect), and the robot is like "You are attempting to assist me? Thank you sir or madam. I now know why it is that humans smile. Battery at 100%, diggingdiggingdiggingdigging-" and that's just A THING that happens with no explanation. That robot wasn't even hinted to be sapient at all until that moment, and no one is like "holy fuck the digging robot has emotions" or anything, it just happens. And those kinds of moments are all over the game. This game does the most absurd things ever, I love it so much.

[jeonqkooks]

i’m really not joking when i say i think about these asks all the time