#does any other artist feel like this?
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im so disappointed in my art lately . im not a beginner artist, but i feel like everything i do looks like i am . i feel like it would only be acceptable for a beginner . i havent made any progress since i was 11 . today is not a good day
#artist problems? except i barely even count as an artist atp#non serious vent sorry#i dont usually textpost because i much prefer just sticking it in the tags and hoping i forget about it#but i dont have anything to post. i literally have not been able to make anything at all.#does any other artist feel like this?#i know everyone says they feel like this but i cant decide if its comforting or condescending#all the other artists say “oh i hate my art!” when their art is good because its just the artists eye or whatever its called#and on one hand its comforting because everyone hates their art#but on the other hand its so discouraging because if you hate your art so much#how does mine look? how bad is mine?#i dont like talking abt weed bc its kinda weird for a 14 year old but i feel like the only times i can draw without crying -#- is when im high#i dont know i need to take a break or something#might focus on writing but everything is just so frustrating to me lately#i cant promise literally anything anymore because everytime i get excited to create its just GONE so fast#becaus i cant like anything i make#i keep searching for some kind of art advice that will actually help but i never can figure out how to apply it#and most of it is just “keep practicing!” as if i havent been practicing since i was 8 years old#i feel like at this point i have to just start all the way over but i dont even know how#at this point i would rather art regress than keep churning out the same mediocre garbage ive been drawing since 2022#and its not even that im pressuring myself to draw. its that all my art has just looked the same for so long and im so frustrated#i literally cannot draw anything without crying anymore its really upsetting#anyway sorry for the negativity on main :( this blog has kinda become my diary and im just an overdramatic teenager or whatever i dont know
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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Psst, hey.
Hey you.
Come closer.
Listen to what I'm about to say good and well, alright?
#out of queue#ani rambles#anti ai#anti ai art#solarpunk#solarpunk aesthetic#does this have the official backing of the other 2 event hosts? no i just made this meme on a whim#but also if you try submitting AI art and we find out? or worse if I can flat-out TELL its AI? I'm blocking your ass#one of the best artists I've ever had the pleasure of knowing won't touch the Solarpunk community with a 10 foot pole because of all the#goddamn AI art infiltrating this space. constantly. like even when I'm trying to be on the lookout for it I somehow reblog it anyways#even when I block the tags too!!!! this is a PROBLEM#you want more artists taking part in this community spreading the vision visualizing the future?#STOP REBLOGGING AI BULLSHIT AND CHASING THEM AWAY THEN#how are artists supposed to feel accepted and appreciated and loved by this community when every other piece under the tag is some fuckin#midjourney bs made my scrubbing the internet and spitting out a mishmash of other artists' works and ideas?#i have said it before I will say it again#i would rather see a messy pen scribble on the back of a coffee stained napkin with stickfigures than see some smooth smudgy AI BS again#this applies to AI writing too if I catch an INKLING that your short story even STARTED with some bs chatgpt ramblings you're blocked
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you know what we need for benedict's season is genuine yearning pining longing unable to touch forbidden scandalous not only on a societal level but on a class level romance vibes. i need that man to not be able to LOOK at sophie in case the wrong people see. i want him utterly unable to speak to her or interact with her in any meaningful way because the slightest wrong move might ruin her entirely. benedict is the least repressed bridgerton sibling by a long chalk, and i want him to Suffer bc his usual method of immediately hooking up with any person he finds even mildly attractive is completely off the table in this scenario. i want him to have to fight himself every moment to keep his distance i want him to be in abject agony i want him to truly Yearn hopelessly!! they need to not touch for like at least six episodes and when they finally do i need benedict to immediately pass out
#bridgerton#benedict bridgerton#does this fit with the book? not really. but the show is already so different that i'm kinda hoping they change some of his story's themes#bc i don't think show!benedict would ever ask a woman to be his mistress it just doesn't feel like he has those vibes#he already doesn't really care what society thinks of him so i can't see him being too cut up about sophie's parentage or status#like we already have scenes of him mingling with artists and painters and their models and boxers and modistes#and he's always perfectly at ease wherever he goes. which i think is part of the reason show!benedict is such a scene stealer#luke thompson really plays him with such a level of ease and familiarity that u don't see in many of the others#it truly feels like he's part of the family. he makes every scene his own in subtle ways and it's really fascinating#anyway if his season isn't next i'm gonna riot they can't keep theatrically trained luke thompson away from a real storyline for any longer
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i'd rather be cringe than pretentious
#any day of the week 365 lol#just vents that float in my head#just people in life you encounter#that take the fun out of fun things#and make them competitive#or about them being on some higher level than others?#just bc you don't know everything about something#doesn't mean the art didn't resonate with you more or less than someone who does#theres no wrong way to enjoy your hobbies/favorite artists etc#basically don't let anyone make you feel like you don't belong#I think it’s possibly to love what you love and enjoy it your way#you don’t have to say what they say yknow
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I'd like yalls help w something, please
Regardless of its intelligence level, how many non-human creatures have Arthur and John had an emotionally positive experience with?bc I am wracking my brain and the only ones I can come up with are the lamp-eft, the buopoth, the cana, and the owl (I have yet to figure out if cana is a species or a job title but yall know who I'm talking about)
If anyone can fact-check/correct/update me on this I'd appreciate it so much 🙏
#thinking of my artistic interpretation of john & trying to come up w a sort of shapeshifter-form index as a visual cue system for his moods#so like for example when he's super focused on leading or guiding arthur somewhere I'd draw him as a little lamp-eft flitting around#or when he's pondering something specifically related to his past as hastur he'd slightly resemble a peacock#(but only slightly bc while he's seen peacock imagery and is very aware of the symbolism n stuff hes. never actually seen a real peacock b4#when hes feeling threatened or uneasy because of something Arthur is doing specifically his humanoid default form gets ram horns and eyes#bc of ep 26 :)#and how that ties into the pits :)#stuff like that#any tios tricks or suggestions? id love to hear yalls thoughts <3#i ahould clarify this would be for a hypothetical post-season 5 au#john does *not* have his own body or visual a defined form other people can see; itd just be cool visual cues for readers bc in my head its#a series of comic pages#uhhh ok how do i tag this#malevolent#malevolent podcast#malevpod#arthur lester#john doe malevolent#idk what else to put fuck it we ball#lucifanbabbles#zizistuff
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A female artist/celebrity: Hey, while I'm really happy for all the support you guys as my fans have shown me, can we please establish some boundaries? Some things are starting to make me uncomfortable. Again, I'm grateful but--
Said people the response was aimed towards: Oh so now she thinks she's too good for us? She's so ungrateful, letting all the fame get to her head. Doesn't she know that without us, she wouldn't be as famous? She should just suck it up!
#tell me im wrong bc you can't#this is how some are acting towards chappell roane right now and all she asked for was boundaries to be established#there's this common theme still where people will treat celebs as less than human just bc they're famous & that's so wrong#they share their talent with u as fans and can't even get any decency in response#it's also alarming how quick people are to victim blame these celebs especially female celebs/artist as if they asked to be harassed#there's always a threat of harm to women (especially if they are a woc or queer) already and getting upset with them for wanting to take#caution seems like a bad hill to die on#its also annoying when sadly something does happens and the response following is “how could this happen? we need more boundaries!” and will#then turn right back to their old ways 🙄#lowkey reminds of how there was a wave of hate towards actors (eg. penn badgerly) for saying they didn't feel comfortable doing sex scenes#(which they are within their right to set up boundaries) and yet some fans made it seem like they were in the wrong for wanting autonomy#even tho countless other celebs before that talked about how uncomfortable and evasive the treatment on sets were for them#so their concerns aren't without merit#is it really that hard to establish parasocial relationships with famous people?#chappell roan#megan thee stallion#beyonce#taylor swift
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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i feel it's so fucking stupid and ungrateful but it still hurts a little when someone gifts me something i just don't like. i don't know. i know it's dumb and inaccurate to astrain that much meaning to a simple gift, but it feels kinda like they don't know me. i guess it feels like people don't see me, like a reminder that the person i reflect and the person i feel like are incredibly different.
#two fairly recent examples jump to mind#last year my class did a secret santa#the guy who got my name barely knew me so instead he asked our litterature teacher for tips#i was doing an effort to participate a lot in her classes and discuss stuff and i felt like she was an adult i could really trust#and adult who Gets It#and she picked just. the wrong gift. a classical philosophy essay.#stuff i hate reading. stuff i hate thinking about.#i said thank you to both of them and tried to read it during christmas break still. but i was right. i hated it.#and this year's christmas#recently i tried patching things up with my parents and we are a lot more communicative now#so they've opened up that my demand not to receive any gifts was painful to them#so we had an agreement: we write open-hearted letters to each other on christmas.#and they can gift me something if they'd like but no pressure if they don't find anything they feel would be a good gift#bc i myself opened up about the whole ''inaccurate gift'' thing being one of the reasons i dislike receiving stuff#and guess what. christmas comes. they got me a printed card from an artist whose work we saw at a local art thing earlier that year.#that artist does mainly either plants or nice architecture. stuff i love.#they picked the ONE work of hers that doesn't look like that. some reinterpretation of the great wave of kanagawa#a piece which i dislike with a passion for aesthetic reasons#i had promised i'd be honest if their gift missed the mark but tbh i couldn't. it's just an aesthetic thing it's completely begnin.#it's not like they spent lots or tried to pick something that was USEFUL#so i smiled and the picture is hanging with other stuff in my room#and i thanked them and i can't express how genuinely glad i am we have a better relationship#but man i felt my heart break a little under the tree in that moment#idk#i know it's silly but it makes me feel weird. and cold.#broadcasting my misery#vent
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~
#delete later#another journal entry 📝 for the void#i have not been sleeping well for the past 2 wks 😵💫 i always wake up like clockwork after 5-6 hrs which feels like not nearly enough#i feel like i've done everything there is to do (consistent exercise + consistent sleep times + earplugs + weighted blanket + no caffeine)#last night i took melatonin too but no... same problem staying asleep 😭#ahh whatever. i'm just frustrated that it has to be this way :(#anyways in an act of spite i reread like the 4 wips that have been sitting in my drafts from the past few weeks#i think something that will never cease to surprise me about writing is that more effort/time doesn't necessarily translate to better#results; i suppose that's the case with all kinds of art but#it does feel somewhat unintuitive. one of my fav professors in uni said to not dismiss those 'lightning in a bottle' moments (in art) as#blind luck... but to instead analyze the circumstances and iterate on recreating them. and i think one of my artist friends who i deeply#respect said something similar (wrt artistic rituals/setup). i have too many thoughts on writing and on my own creative processes and#weaknesses to fit into any number of tags here. :') that said...#*shakes ch2 draft* after everything i did and all the hours i spent WHY are you still so bad?!!! D: i am baffled and frustrated.#and why do i prefer this other [redacted] draft which i hammered out with utterly no regard towards the quality??#anyways. back to the drawing board i guess T.T
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no girl taylor isn’t blocking you from the chart maybe your music just isn’t as good and you aren’t as popular?
#yall act like vinyls and cd sales count for so much more than streaming does#and even then taylor isn’t controlling how much people buy#WE are#WE choose to buy albums and stream them#not the artist#like you don’t get a participation award because you decided to release music at the same time as someone you KNOW is more popular than you#if you’re so easily blocked by remixes and voice memos acoustic versions of songs that are two months old..#there’s a reason SOS was able to beat out midnights guys#and taylor was happy for sza like#there was no hate there#maybe your album just wasn’t as strong as you thought it was#and i don’t mean that in a malicious way#and let me also just say#no one complains about male artists blocking other artists from charting#because women are expected to humble themselves to protect others feelings#if a few voice memos of songs that have been out for months outsell your album that’s not on taylor swift#if a voice memo or an acoustic version or a remix is really affecting the charts that much#that’s a separate issue#if it was ANY OTHER ARTIST#you would not be saying this#but because it’s taylor you feel the need to??#no one is saying you need to love taylor swift and stream all of her music and but all her albums#but can we stop with all the unnecessary hate#all i’m saying is maybe there’s a reason her music does so well just a thought#taylor swift#the tortured poets department#charli xcx#billie eilish#this happens every single time taylor releases an album#why do we always feel the need to pit successful women against each other
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anyway you can literally pry mike and will sw*ftie agenda from my cold, lifeless hands
#no hate to anyone not agreeing#however when has WILL CANONICALLY ever EVER showed to be pretentious with music#when has will EVER displayed the same music snob personality as jonathan#like canonically. really. point out a SINGLE time.#he of course loves the music bonding w jonathan and he loves the songs jonathan shows him but like genuinely. really and truly#i am asking you to point out anything about will's character that would indicate in any way he would be pretentious about music.#will's CANON traits repeated over and over are that he is sensitive and emotional and not like other boys#and that is not in the 'i want to be different' way like it is for jonathan. will canonically does not feel Better for being Different.#he just Is.#so like i absolutely one thousand percent believe he'd identify w her music that is sensitive and romantic and whimsical and tells stories#bc those are all things will either is or values. hello lol#and mike lmfao. mike literally tries to be like everyone else. if taylor is popular he's gonna listen and then the absolute bops are gonna#make him stick around. he'd definitely be a closet sw*ftie during rep era to go along w the crowd but he'd come back#also hold on let me circle back to the will point. even if he were pretentious u can't sit here and tell me taylor is not an incredible#songwriter who consistently puts out sonically cohesive albums (for the most part) and is able to nail almost any genre#even if he was Super Pretentious about music -- which to be clear he Would Not Be -- he would admire her for the artist she is#even if it wasn't his vibe. ANYWAY. BACK TO MIKE AKA I WILL LISTEN TO ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS IS COOL#he definitely has Opinions (calling should i stay or should i go Weird) but like. come on. his entire s3/4 arc is abt Desperately trying to#Conform. he'd listen to taylor lol. i just think he'd actually still like her for some of the same reasons as will#bc he also values story telling and then also probably just wordplay.#i'm so sorry to rant about this like i simply know it is not that deep but ALSO. Y'ALL LMFAO. the way that i'm seeing this opinion shared#'this isn't hating!' *is a hater*#<- also exactly what i'm doing but like PLEASSEEE#WILL =/= JONATHAN#AND LIKE MIKE IS EMBARRASSING. THT'S WHY WE LOVE HIM. HE'D ABSOLUTELY BLAST N BOP TO TAYLOR LOL#IDC IDC!!!!!! (CARES SO MUCH) THIS IS THE HILL I WILL DIE ON!!!!!!!!
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wanted to share the sentiment here too but didn't feel like rewriting the whole thing lmao so here are some Thoughts i had last night on twt regarding my weird relationship with my art whilst being in fandom:
i know i've definitely talked about this kind of thing in the past but it's been a very recent development that i actually understand what's been going on with me and why i've picked up this habit of letting a fandom i'm in / a piece of media i'm really into fully dictate my creative drive. like, just because i'm very interested or invested in something, it doesn't mean i necessarily feel inspired by it or inspired by it for the duration that it holds my interest, and forcing myself to create relative art or fic or what have you for the vested interest(s) has both dampened my desire to be creative as well as my imagination. i know a lot of people can be super into something or a few random things at once and that can keep them going for ages without them running out of ideas, but in my case, things that hold my interest aren't always synonymous with my creativity and i'm just now learning that despite how obvious it seems!
i also imagine i'm not the only person who functions like this but i personally haven't seen it spoken about very often (if it even needs to idk), so i wanted to bring it up / talk about it a little bit :)
#art things#alex talks#if you've been following me for awhile or at least saw this coming before i did: does it not at all seem obvious lmao#i think the guilt i was feeling for so long over it being my 'obligation' as an artist in any fandom to only cater to fandom was also#exacerbated by some kind of impostor syndrome like... wait why is this so easy for other people also into x but not me?#makes sense now why i seem to lose steam so fast when i'm making work for one thing at a time only#i need to spice it up!! even if i come back to something eventually i can't force it!#thank u adhd my behated for another extension of my executive dysfunction but i guess#i will learn to work with it :) shedding the guilt has been the hardest part and ik i'll still struggle at times to be inspired or feel#like i need to be doing something specific to cater to other people rather than go with what drives me at the moment but#that's ok! that's life!#here's to me making a lot more art / general creative stuff 🫡 i hope the utter randomness of what i have in store#appeases at least one other person 🫶#sidenote 1d fics will still be eventually finished but 1d art.... we'll have to see bc of the ipad wipe :')#also haven't been in the mood for awhile tbh! been into another stuff and less generally hyperfixated (thank god)#anyway onto better days and more creation!!
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I don’t know if I have what it takes to do this, in terms of talent and skill and willpower, but if so I have absolutely no idea what to do otherwise
#I’m okay with being a just kinda alright artistically but being just alright and unemployed can only go on for so long and the gap grows#I feel so stupid but also any other route I can imagine feels false…#I had something like a dream for a little bit maybe that’s it#and i don’t think that complacency is the whole of the problem but it certainly isn’t helping.. but it’s hard to feel motivated..#even those who I feel like are giving it their all and leveling up at rapid speeds are just as unemployed.. does it even matter#but am I wasting time by not trying harder? I have a good amount of work + relevant experience.. still not enough#whatever me and a few hundred others so it goes#I just don’t know what to do with the days and worried with each day I’m screwing myself over for the future w each choice
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this might be a hot take... but if you care about disavowing media made by bad people out of fear of looking like a bad person yourself more than you care about actually doing good things... you might have your priorities (and your morals) screwed up a bit :/
(see my tags for more of my thoughts on this topic! please try to avoid making make bad-faith assumptions about what i mean!)
#melonposting#there is a good case for not wanting to associate with something on account of the creator being harmful. sure whatever#but people have talked at length about the sort of moral ocd that it promotes when that idea is fervently preached and enforced#i don't know about you but i think there's a big difference between#a) not wanting people to associate with something because the media itself spouts harmful rhetoric#and because its bigoted creator both benefits from people engaging with the books and is idolized by many of the books' fans#and b) not wanting people to vocally enjoy ANYTHING made by ANYONE who's held any harmful ideology at any point#because doing so 'inherently' supports and spreads those harmful ideologies#it's true that you cannot separate the art from the artist#but good people can make bad art and bad people can make good art. artistic talent is not inherently correlated with the artist's morals#the goodness/badness of a person CAN seep into the art they make. and it often does. and that can affect one's enjoyment of it#but even then there's nuance to be had on how to deal with it#like my hero academia for example. when i started watching it in middle school i didn't know how misogynistic it would be#of course i ended up seeing it in the show (and god it's so misogynistic)#and i ended up learning that the 'joke' sexual-harasser character is a self-insert for the creator#which of course i could never get behind. the creator is undeniably a horrible guy#at the same time though the show means a lot to me and i've gained a lot from watching it#i won't elaborate here on how but believe me it isn't superficial. if you want to ask me about it i'd be happy to share#i can hold both in my mind. the disgust and the enjoyment. i don't think those have to be mutually exclusive#of course not everyone is like that; you could immediately stop liking the show on discovering the gross stuff. and that's your prerogative#i don't know... i agree with the values behind avoiding media made by people known to have moral failings#and in some cases (like harry potter and jkr) i fully endorse the values and the practice. but such cases are very specific#but in most cases i fear the practice is misguided and unnuanced and ultimately unhelpful in fulfilling one's values#it is largely a philosophical matter: about how an individual regards their moral standing in the context of themselves and other people#which is important to discuss - especially in our globalized internet age! speaking of which feel free to disagree with me#if you want to have a civil discussion i'm more than open to it#but no matter how important this matter... there are way more important ones in the world. especially right now#calling out people who watch a youtuber who said something bigoted 5 years ago does little to stop that bigotry overall#just have good morals and practice them! support oppressed people! be thoughtful and understanding and compassionate!#callouts and dni lists rarely make for impactful advocacy!!!
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Its like. SO surreal when you grow up "alongside" an artist- youre the same age, but they had a following bigger and better before you ever had social media to begin with, you two grow up, you follow their progress and they enjoy your support..
the clock strikes 19, and suddenly its like a ticking time bomb to see if they realized the responsability on their shoulders and that they need to grow up-their sudden power imbalance with younger friends, mutuals and fans. Do they know the damage they can cause? most of them dont.
Through a mix of self unawareness and selfishness, they hurt someone. they hurt a minor and now this person you watched develop before your very own eyes is the religated piece of shit of the week and shunned from the community.
Its even worse when thats your friend..
#i was kind of in such a situation but we spoke recently and i promised to stop talking about it. sort of. i guess i forgave them?#theres some leeway into forgiveness when the offense isnt extremely dire i suppose#what Synnibear did was..not good. and her refusal to self reflect and actually maintain her apology shows shes a bad person. theres no -#-forgiveness#and the guy i knew as a kid. they were just unaware frankly#i feel kind of violated by them but we made amends and moved on. i just kinda feel..gross for it still.#so thats kind of like. a reminder. to correct my posture and not be a freak weirdo around people in general#still a shame aint it#i can now name two artists who ive respected. followed and wanted to befriend turn out to be horrible people! wow#the other guy has a ally that im in personal kahoots with aswell#. ok i know his boyfriend is what im saying#and he says theres 'personal troubles' that the victim 'failed to mention'#i really. doubt anything can excuse talking to a 16 y.o weird when youre 18-19 bro#but am i being twofaced#i forgave Chris#but its not our place to forgive Kaz#does he realize he hurt someone for life#i was hurt for life#im still struggling with that weird shit that happened to me. theres effects im trying to hurdle over#that person probably had it way worse then i did right? imagine their struggle#how is Kaz any more superior or innocent enough to be 'forgiven' and 'permitted return'#even if somehow that kid turned around and forgave him. nobody will want him back#whats done is done. and if there was a way to 'justify' or 'explain' himself ... it doesnt matter#they dont forgive him#he hurt them#fuck this dude for real
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