#midlife FABULOUS

[storyshark2005]

If anyone cares, I think this is the jacket Noel's been wearing lately. His proverbial floral parka.

Stone Island Marina Heat Reactive Jacket (Navy, 2014)

FUN FACT it apparently changes color when it gets warm?? So we might see him walking around in warmer weather in a splotchy blue/black jacket??

BOY IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HIS DIVORCE TO MAKE BOLD FASHION CHOICES !!!!

[greentrickster]

Guys, I've done it. I've found the most insane piece of Nero swag ever made. Anyone have any idea what this omamori's for, because my only guesses at the moment are based on visual cues (I'm going with either academic success or he's here to isekai you (and frankly both of these options are funny to me)).

But also, seriously, all the fantastic, fabulous mechs and vehicles FFXIV has to offer... and they put him in a little red car. Not even a flashy sports car, just like... office worker who wanted something sensible then had a midlife crisis and painted his car red. Nero wtf.

[spuffybot]

Rating BTVS ships I don’t ship:

1. Fred & Wesley: I don’t really ship Fred with anyone because I think she deserved to be on her own and to come into her own strength and power without a man. But this ship does have a decent amount of pining, which I appreciate. It definitely gets points for enduring Fred’s crush on Angel and her love triangle with Gunn. And we can’t forget that it also comes to one of the most painful ends and I challenge you not to cry when Fred becomes Illyria. Still, Fred died to further the emotional and narrative arc of a man so we’re gonna have to dock points for that.

5/10

2. Fangel (Faith & Angel): ok so this is not a super popular ship and I genuinely don’t understand why. I don’t ship it, but it wouldn’t take a lot to make me ship it. These two have amazing chemistry, they’re trauma bonded, they’ve got that whole inner darkness thing going on. There’s something sexy about Angel wanting to save Faith when she doesn’t want to be saved. Plus Angel is so repressed and Faith is so innately sexual. The inevitable smut just writes itself. WOW. Am I talking myself into this one? Do I ship this now?

10/10

3. Spanya (Spike & Anya): I’ve always appreciated the small moments we got between Spike and Anya. They are both genuinely hilarious and I feel like it was a missed opportunity not to have these two extremely old supernatural creatures who are hanging out with a bunch of 20 year old humans vibe more. That being said, I just don’t feel the sexual tension between them. The scene where they hook up is brilliant but it’s not about them it’s about the people they love who don’t love them the same way. So while I think these two make fabulous friends, I’m just not sold on them as a couple. If anything they’re too similar. Snarky, broken, hopeless for love (but overcompensating because they hurt so deeply.) I guess if you’re someone who defines compatibility as similarity this is a ship for you.

3/10

4. Joyce & Giles: Buffy already has so much parent drama, can you imagine if these two actually got together??? But ok let’s break it down, these two have chemistry but it’s entirely linked to the people they used to be. It’s pure midlife crises. And there is something nostalgic and romantic about trying to recapture the wild, carefree, young person you used to be. I also think there’s a bit of jealousy and resentment fueling these two. Joyce resents Giles for being Buffy’s Watcher and for having access to a part of Buffy she doesn’t truly understand. I think this one has some depth but ultimately there isn’t enough between them to justify for than a one night stand or two.

3/10

5. Xander & Willow: So this is a classic story. The girl next door who pines away for the boy who doesn’t notice her. There’s real love and friendship between these two, and even as we inevitably saw, some sexual tension and chemistry. I’ve just never been someone who roots for this dynamic. I didn’t want Dawson to get Joey. I didn’t want Ross to get Rachel. I think there’s too much entitlement and self pity in the long suffering crush to create the fire you need for a really monumental ship. That being said, I do think Xander and Willow are compatible and I do think they deserve a bonus point for their Dopplegangland dopplegangers who I would absolutely ship if we got to see more of them.

4/10

[angelbaby0048]

I like them all but which one looks best? Let me know.

#change #midlife #50 and fucking fabulous

[twisting-echo]

Hades: *storming into the Evil Queen's lair* Mirror, mirror on the wall—who's the angriest god of them all? Oh, it's me, Hades! And I've got a bone to pick with you, Evil Queen!

Evil Queen: *looking up from her spellbook* Ah, Hades. What brings you to my humble abode? Looking for fashion tips? I hear skulls are all the rage in the underworld this season.

Hades: Enough with the sass, Queenie. You poisoned my Snow White! My sweet, innocent little songbird. She was just humming while baking a pie, and you—

Evil Queen: Oh, spare me the melodrama. You're the one who runs an entire realm of suffering and misery. Talk about a toxic work environment! And let's not forget your little side gig—trying to overthrow Zeus and take Olympus for yourself.

Hades: Hey, I've got ambition! And at least I don't need a magic mirror to validate my existence. Yours is probably malfunctioning anyway.

Evil Queen: Ambition? More like a midlife crisis. And don't get me started on your hair. It's like a fire hazard waiting to happen.

Hades: My hair is fabulous; thank you very much. But back to Snow White—

Evil Queen: Oh, right. The girl with the seven vertically challenged friends. You know, I heard she's been hanging out with that Hercules boy. Hero types—they're all the same. Always meddling in other people's business.

Hades: Meddling? Me? Look who's talking! You tried to kill Snow White with an apple. An apple! What's next, poisoned pumpkin spice lattes?

Evil Queen: At least I own my villainy. You're just a wannabe. Besides, Snow White survived. Maybe she's got a stronger constitution than you think.

Hades: Well, she's not the only one with a strong constitution. I've got underworldly stamina, baby! And I'll prove it by—

Evil Queen: By monologuing endlessly? Spare me. I've got a mirror to polish. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have evil plots to hatch and wrinkles to avoid.

Hades: This isn't over, Queenie. Next time, I'll—

Evil Queen: Next time, try a new heat-protectant shampoo. Your hair needs it.

(They glare at each other, and Hades storms out, muttering about hair care tips.)

---

This was solely based on an Anon Ask I got! XD

[rebouks]

Fabian Hawkins for @rainymoodlet's Kiss me in Komorebi+

More than a little wine drunk following another lonely meal for one, Fabian sat by the fireside and cursed at his tablet; living in a foresters lodge in the arse end of nowhere had its downsides, shite wifi being one of them. When the page finally loaded, he laughed out loud, the brash chuckle echoing throughout the room. Fabian remembered having a crush on the star of "Your Dad's Garage" and now he was starring in a bachelor challenge.. and he was gay! He couldn't help but giggle, hastily throwing together an application before his critical thinking (read: overthinking) set in. Something he'll no doubt regret in the morning when the wine fuzzies are gone and the dreaded ✨social anxiety✨ sets in.

Name: Fabian Hawkins Age: 39 (Adult) Height: 6'4 Traits: Loves the Outdoors | Maker | Gloomy Aspiration: Fabulously Filthy

Midlife crisis who? Fabian was happy with his isolated life.. until he realised he's almost 40, hasn't had a decent relationship in over 10 years, and all his friends have gotten hitched/settled down. Oh my god what has he done with his life 🤡

Works as a forester/forest ranger in Granite Falls and lives on site in a small log cabin.

Likes to joke/tell people he got his scar by fending off a bear. In reality.. the kickback from a chainsaw almost cost him an eye, back when he was young and inexperienced.

Prone to wheeze laughing or outright belly laughter, no in between.

Makes a mean campfire skillet potato hash.

Loves whittling.. made a whole chess set once, except he doesn't know how to play chess.

Not particularly fond of change, shy around new people.

Used to mud and grubby surroundings.

Struggles with the odd bout of mild depression, though puts it down to being alone so often.

[justforbooks]

Long before Dave Myers, one half of the TV duo the Hairy Bikers, was hairy, or a biker, he was a cook. While still a child, he prepared family meals when his mother, a former shipyard crane driver, became so debilitated by multiple sclerosis she was scarcely able to leave her bed. “Dad and I became Mam’s carers, muddling through each day,” said Myers, who has died aged 66. “Sometimes I got out a cookbook and made a pie or a stew out of whatever ingredients we had in.”

His mother had been “a fabulous cook and was often preparing food while I played at her feet”. His father, the foreman of a local paper mill, would put little Dave on the saddle of his motorbike so he could pretend to ride. “I loved the smell of oil and machinery and rubber; just one whiff would set my pulse racing.”

But it was only half a lifetime later that Myers, after many years of working as a television makeup artist, managed to make an onscreen career by combining these two childhood passions. In 2004, when he was 45, Myers and his friend Simon King, a locations manager on the Harry Potter films, pitched their idea for a TV show focusing on motorbikes and food to the BBC. “It was midlife crisis time and you can’t have more of a midlife crisis than going off on a motorbike,” said Myers.

The show’s premise was that two burly, hirsute motorcyclists would visit foreign locales, often getting off their bikes to cook by the roadside. In the first episode of The Hairy Bikers’ Cookbook (2006), the pair motored through Namibia, stopping off to cook crocodile satay and oryx rolls.

This culinary travelogue ran across three series, taking them to Portugal, Vietnam, Turkey and Mexico, and became such a hit with the viewers that a memo circulated the BBC praising the two men for winning over “a difficult-to-reach audience”. “Basically a ‘difficult-to-reach audience’ translates as ‘normal people’,” said King.

The two self-taught cooks had a disarmingly unpretentious love of food and easy on-screen banter redolent of Keith Floyd, if less bibulous, or Clarissa Dickson Wright and Jennifer Paterson, if less posh. In a sense, Myers and King were the male northern riposte to the Two Fat Ladies. What’s more, their two fat lads were refreshing fare in the age of telegenic cooks such as Nigella Lawson or angry chefs like Gordon Ramsay.

Spin-off shows followed, including The Hairy Bikers’ Food Tour of Britain (2009), The Hairy Bikers: Mums Know Best (2010), The Hairy Bikers’ Mississippi Adventure (2012) and The Hairy Bikers’ Asian Adventure (2014), along with allied cookbooks and a 2015 memoir, The Hairy Bikers Blood, Sweat and Tyres.

What was the secret of their success? “We are mates, it’s not something that’s been manufactured,” said Myers. “We’re not snobby about food. We’re very happy with egg and chips, as long as it’s very good-quality eggs and good-quality potatoes. About 95% of good cooking is good shopping.”

They met by chance in a Newcastle pub in the 1990s when Myers was working there as makeup artist and prosthetics technician on an adaptation of Catherine Cookson’s The Gambling Man starring Robson Green. King, an assistant director on the project, was at the bar ordering a curry. The barman told King that if he ordered two curries he would qualify for a special offer: four poppadoms instead of one. “I just stepped up and said, ‘I’ll have the other curry’,” Myers said.

The pair cemented their friendship with road trips up the west coast of Scotland, travelling with a pan, a single-burner stove, some butter, a lemon and some brown bread. “We’d go up round Loch Assynt, up by Lochinver, and catch wild brown trout.” The idea for the television series was born from these trips.

But, while the Hairy Bikers became celebrated and their cookbooks successful, some worried that their recipes were unhealthy. Their banana French toast recipe, consisting of brioche, bananas, peanut butter and cream, was ominously dedicated to Elvis Presley. One critic suggested that their full-English shakshuka, featuring sausages, lardons and black pudding, “looks as if it should come with a diagram on how to administer CPR”.

Indeed, as their fame expanded, so did their waistbands. By 2012, Myers recalled, he was taking tablets for high blood pressure and to lower his cholesterol, and both he and King were diagnosed as being morbidly obese during a medical. He weighed 17st 12lb, with a 49in waist, while King weighed in at 19st 6lb, with a 50in waistline. “I was prediabetic; human foie gras, basically,” Myers said.

The diagnoses pushed them to make the series The Hairy Dieters: How to Love Food and Lose Weight. Both men lost 3st 7lb during filming and published their most successful series of books afterwards under the general title Hairy Dieters. “Doing it publicly was the thing that encouraged us to make it work. People admired the honesty. We sold about 1.3m copies of our first book. We learned an awful lot from it.”

The following year, 2013, Myers appeared on Strictly Come Dancing, performing a “Tartan tango” to the tune of The Proclaimers’ I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) with his dance partner, Karen Hauer, and becoming, in the words of the show’s judge Len Goodman, “the people’s champion”, winning the weekly popular vote despite sometimes low marks from judges and armchair critics deriding his “ungainly boogying”. He didn’t win, but the Hairy Biker received the longest standing ovation for, fittingly enough, a Meat Loaf-themed paso doble.

Myers, the only child of Jim and Margaret, was born in Barrow-in-Furness ( then in Lancashire but now in Cumbria) and attended the town’s grammar school for boys, where an inspirational teacher, Mr Eaton, encouraged him to develop his artistic skills. He took a fine art degree at Goldsmiths, University of London and a master’s degree in art history.

His first job was as a trainee makeup artist at the BBC. He worked there for 23 years, including a stint on Top of the Pops, before the Hairy Bikers got together. While filming the show in Romania, Myers met Liliana Orzac. “In our hotel there was a striking woman on reception. Nudging Si, I whispered: ‘I fancy her!’” They married in 2011.

In 2022, Myers announced on the podcast Hairy Bikers – Agony Uncles that he had been diagnosed with cancer. He and King made a moving return to the screen in The Hairy Bikers: Coming Home for Christmas in December 2023, in which they discussed his illness and treatment; and had filmed a new series, The Hairy Bikers Go West, which is currently screening on BBC Two, and which King described as “a celebration of a joyous and creative friendship”.

Myers is survived by Liliana and her children, Iza and Sergiu.

🔔 David James Myers, chef and television presenter, born 8 September 1957; died 28 February 2024

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (10-16 Mar 2024)

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🥰 Art Thief, Heart Thief (odetteandodile) - 58K, stucky white collar inspired AU - enjoyed how author took the WC set up (fbi art agent, criminal consultant) and made it theirs & perfect for stucky

💖💖 +195K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

Midlife Crisis (profoundalpacakitten) - MCU: stucky, 7K - reread, forever fave - the quiet, piercing, understated tenderness in this fic is unmatched

Progredi (justanotherStonyfan) - MCU: shrunkyclunks, 37K - the next installment in the fabulous Honey Honey series

Pistachios and Rose Water (goldsaffron) - The Old Guard: kaysanova, 15K - J&N spend 10 years putting down roots, building a home & collecting a found family as Nicky learns to express his love through food

Consensual Catfishing (foresthearts) - Stranger Things: steddie, 32K - modern AU, told via social media - delightful story! adored these characters & their voices and using all different sorts of SM to tell it. brilliant idea, adeptly executed. the art is also pretty great

they're going to send us to prison for jerks (greatunironic) - Stranger Things: steddie, 16K - another really fun modern steddie with a strong social media AU premise

Os Impurum (the_deep_magic) - The Eagle | The Eagle of the Ninth: Marcus Flavius Aquila/Esca Mac CunovalMarcus/Esca, 18K - solidly good fic about marcus/esca post canon, esp marcus discovering some new things about himself 😉

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Ghosts (US) - s3, e5

Game Changer - s6, e3

D20: The Unsleeping City: Chapter II - "For the Hoard!" (s7, e15)

D20: The Unsleeping City: Chapter II - "Treachery at Gramercy" (s7, e16)

D20: The Unsleeping City: Chapter II - "Two Sides of the Same Coin (Part 1)" (s7, e17)

D20: The Unsleeping City: Chapter II - "Two Sides of the Same Coin (Part 2)" (s7, e18)

D20: Adventuring Party - s3, e12-16

Um, Actually - s9, e2

D20: Fantasy High: Junior Year - "Cursed Out" (s21, e10)

D20: Adventuring Party - "Cool Ranch Communion" (s16, e10)

D20: Tiny Heist - "Big Little Crimes" (s4, e1)

D20: Tiny Heist - "Chicanery at Shoeby's Casino" (s4, e2)

D20: Tiny Heist - "Scheming and Scoring Fairy Dust" (s4, e3)

Agatha Christie's Marple - "The Secret of Chimneys" (s5, e2) [shout out to @leupagus for this rec; they were not wrong about the acting choices made here 🤩]

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for WWW ep001 The Open Door

What Next: TBD - Instagram’s Pedophile Problem

Desert Island Discs - Cillian Murphy, actor

WikiHole - Lenny Kravitz (with Paul F. Tompkins, Drew Tarver, and Heléne Yorke)

This Cultural Life - Andrew Scott

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Our 2024 Oscars Recap

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - The Grave of XYZ

Vibe Check - Hey, Sis: featuring Morgan Parker

WikiHole with D'Arcy Carden - Fear of Dolphins (with Kumail Nanjiani, Emily Gordon, and Jonah Ray)

The Allusionist - 190. Craters

WikiHole with D'Arcy Carden - Tetris (with Adam Pally, Jon Gabrus and Blair Socci)

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - The Lighthouse Keeper

⭐ Vibe Check - A Special Conversation with Afeef Nessouli

Short Wave - What We Know About Long COVID, From Brain Fog to Fatigue

⭐ Decoder Ring - Why Stylists Rule the Red Carpet

⭐ 99% Invisible #573 - Toyetic

You Are Good - My Best Friend's Wedding w. Sam Sanders

If Books Could Kill - Lean In

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Law of the Tongue

Imaginary Worlds - The Nine Lives of Red Dwarf

Today, Explained - Lip gloss, gum, and the Pill

Dear Prudence - My Ex Had Sex With My Brother. Help!

What Next: TBD - Is TikTok Cooked This Time?

Short Wave - Are We On The Brink Of A Nuclear Fusion Breakthrough?

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Love Lies Bleeding And What's Making Us Happy

Endless Thread - The Music Man, Part 1

Welcome to Night Vale #244 - A Multiplicity of Kevin

Today, Explained - Hollywood’s still not back

99% Invisible - The Power Broker #03: David Sims

Off Menu - Ep 233: Frankie Boyle (Live in Glasgow)

⭐ Hit Parade - Gotcha Covered Edition

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

The Donnas

Smooth Rockabilly

Respect: '60s Iconic Women

[realjennyrae]

Pancakes Family Rotation 4:

Now that Giselle Pancakes is a teen, she got a bedroom upgrade! Everything is super pink and fabulous, just like she likes it. However, Eliza began a midlife crisis! Eliza Pancakes has a desire for more adventure in her life, and the first step is an outdoor nap.

The next day was Giselle's first day in high school, and the first thing she did was decorate her locker! She excitedly showed up to her first class, only for the teacher to abandon class to judge the basement's decor. Giselle skipped her next class to do her own research.

Sims 4 Rotation 4 || Willow Creek Families || Pancakes Family

[gayelectro]

Earthspark liveblog episode 9/10

Absolutely loving the camera work in this episode so far. The fight choreography and shots are looking fabulous. Very dramatic.

Not sure if the way they depict Skywarp's power is the most seizure friendly...

DAAAAAMN THIS FIGHT WENT HARD.

Overall I'm actually growing to like Megatron's voice (I didn't like it from the previews I'd seen) but sometimes he'll have a slew of dialogue where it's like "literally what is this accent that he's shooting for". People say it's Scottish, but I have never heard somebody with this Scottish accent.

Wilhelm scream

Dot punching Mandroid in the face was awesome.

Dot is the best, every line from her in this episode is just *chef's kiss*

Man, I dunno what it is, but I just cannot muster it in me to give a fuck about this Mandroid plot. So far, this show just works better for me when it's about the Maltos. I know I'm boned, since it looks like he's gonna be the central antagonist, but it's like... I do not care at all.

"I wish to rid this world of all violent beings" well we know the Cybertronian solution to that problem, now don't we?

Not to be that guy on main, but Megatron laughing smugly while tied up in bondage...

Dot is so cool. Like she's kind of everything (and MORE) that I wanted out of June Darby and Agent Fowler.

"YOU GOT THE TOUCH" REFERENCE 🎉🎉🎉

"BACK FROM THE DEAD WITH A MIDLIFE CRISIS ALT-MODE" HEEEEEEELP SHE WENT FOR HIS ASS COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED

Okay, this has been nagging me the entire show... The arachnibots look more like ticks than spiders. They keep insisting they're spiders, but they're shaped exactly like ticks. The extra eyes aren't enough to sell me! Ticks are still arachnids! You can call them arachnibots but admit that they're ticks!

NIGHTSHADE NIGHTSHADE IS HERE OH MY GOD

Tit missiles. Nice.

"I didn't have a word for my name, just a feeling" I like the exploration of that in this show, I know this is gonna be a reoccurring theme.

NIGHTSHAAAAAAADE

I honestly have seen nothing about Hashtag and Jawbreaker but I already love them. All these Terran babies are so precious. I would protect them with my life.

NIGHTSHADE PICKING THE OWL BOBBLEHEAD IS SUCH CUTE FORESHADOWING OMG

Yeah, Nightshade is just filling my heart with such joy. It's the way they made that face as they could tell Optimus was confused on how to refer to them. It's how Mo looked at them with understanding and stood up to say their feelings out loud. It just about made me break out into happy tears when Optimus Prime so readily accepted and then immediately started actively using their proper pronouns in a sentence. God, after all this time, seeing a Cybertronian that's like me just warms my heart.

Okay Tudyk definitely slipped into his Clayface voice for most of his explanation of the plan. I swear, this show would be helped out a lot if actors could have some more takes at lines. He is an amazing and varied voice actor! But I'm not feeling it.

Nice purple rain reference

Love when we get shots of bots safely catching a human while transforming, that's a cool thing we've seemed to get more of as we get more CG animated media.

Dot and Alex are so sweet. I love their marriage. It's easy to see how much they really love each other.

Wow I love that Mandroid definitely 100% died there and we're never going to see him again and there's no way he will come back and--

Oh my GOD Dot is such a good mom.

[doom-dreaming]

you wanna see some silly and also cursed sims pics before i go to work? yes you do

there is. ass. under here. btw. (i swear i'm working on a serious post about blue team beach house but they do funny things and i have to take pictures)

i titled this one "now see him fabulous." woe, jorts be upon ye

sure fred you can sleep out there i guess. if you want. why are you wearing those shoes

sometimes you need to have a midlife crisis words were said about it

girl. cool it. you're making him nervous

so far the funniest behavior (aside from the jet ski debacle) was kelly getting up at 3:30 a.m. to make a salad fully naked

[electricbluebutterflies]

Joel/Tess + neighbours AU

Didn't expect this one to end up close to 3k but here we are. Modern AU, rather nsfw (didn't plan that either), also on ao3.

Tess needs a change of scenery, or at least the different horrors of a middle-ring suburb. Somewhere it’ll be a little harder for her tendencies to get her in trouble, or at least different trouble, and-

On paper this is a hell of a slightly early midlife crisis, but something about her sees the words “fixer-upper” and thinks she’s watched just enough renovation shows in waiting rooms to at least turn this into a good distraction for a couple years or however it long takes her to DIY her way out of this. Never mind that she has no idea what she’s doing. She’s under-stimulated at work and kinda likes the idea of living somewhere the kids outnumber the purse dogs. This’ll be fine.

Or at least it would be if her new neighbors weren’t Those People.

She understands the appeal of outdoor maintenance, despite her own black thumbs – she killed a cactus with neglect, she was just out of town for a destination wedding, those things are supposed to survive months but it didn’t last a long weekend – and lack of interest in yardwork. She gets that most of the neighborhood does things the same way she’s inclined to, keeps it all neat and maybe a hanging basket out front but not overkill. But of course she goes and moves in next to someone who clearly has compulsions or something, whose yard looks like someone actually planned it, and that’s just the part visible from the front, their backyard has what looks like a complicated vegetable-growing setup and-

Tess is prepared to hate them on sight, whoever they are, whatever kind of people they otherwise are and it’s coinflip odds on sweethearts or assholes and she’s never been lucky. She is also prepared to spend the next couple months as indoors as possible, questioning every home-décor choice ever made in the 1970s, she’s pretty sure part of the reason the house was unusually cheap is the last owner died here – in their sleep and their mid-80s, if she heard right, but still – and good grief somebody liked orange a little too much and-

How she managed to get this place instead of one of those industrial demolition companies, she’s not quite sure, but she’s going to make it work.

She’s having a moment of frustration a couple weeks in – most of a weekend down an internet rabbit hole does not make her any more confident about removing what could politely be described as a chandelier – and it occurs to her that she doesn’t actually have a ladder high enough to safely get her hands up in that thing, and it occurs to her that Those People, who she has yet to actually interact with, probably do and will probably be horrified enough by her currently apathetic appearance to let her borrow it for a few hours. And possibly, if she brings it back without damage, other fun things she might need out of their inevitably thoroughly equipped shed and/or garage. Tess is nothing if not perceptive, and she’s half surprised she hasn’t gotten a please-make-sure-your-grass-is-even note in impeccable handwriting, and-

She’s not sure what she expects when she knocks on the door, but the man who answers – scruffy, gorgeous, just older than her enough to be hot – is somehow not it. To the extent that she has a type, this is her type, and fuck she’s finally going to add intentional homewrecking to her list of accomplishments (it doesn’t count if you don’t know for fact the other person has a tiny cute wife at home, fight her) and-

“I just moved in next door,” she says before this can get weird or she can do something fabulously reckless. “And I was wondering if you had a decent ladder I could borrow?”

Normal people do this, she tries to remind herself. Normal functional people who live in mid-ring suburbs occasionally ask favors from people nearby and it’s not weird at all. She’s used to a series of apartment complexes occupied by people who acted more like feral animals, and there’s a bit of that in her by association, but-

“What do you need it for?” the man replies, more curious than judgmental if she’s hearing him right.

“Taking down… fuck, I think somebody thought it was a chandelier but…”

Tess does not do the learned-helplessness thing, but apparently it’s obvious how far she’s in over her head. “Need an extra set of hands?”

“Never had someone I don’t know want to watch me get electrocuted,” she laughs.

“So, yes.”

She’s not going to say no, and she’s not going to waste an opportunity for what she swears will stop at light eyefucking, and she does notice there’s no indent of a wedding band on his hand but she’s seen the well-equipped truck out front and that may be more of a profession-related choice than useful information and-

The garage is as full of everything possible as she’d expected, but also a little more chaotic than everything publicly visible, and she almost has questions, and-

“Compromise,” he says like he knows what she’s thinking. “The kid’s not allowed in here.”

And now Tess has more questions, and… this is not the time, she decides, not while she’s testing the limits of someone’s patience. She can feel out the details of the personal situation later, after…

Her own living space is only neat because most of her worldly possessions are still in boxes, and there’s almost nothing in what must’ve been designed as a dining room except for the goddamned light fixture and-

“I don’t do a lot of electrical, but… you flip the fuse first?”

“Yeah. At least those were labeled.”

To be fair, she’d just meant to borrow a ladder, not make this entire project someone else’s problem, but… she’s also not complaining about that, and she’s going to have to return the favor somehow and she’s pretty damn useless as a person and-

She has a type, and how apparently competent this man is just makes her more interested, and she needs to run damage control against herself before she does anything and-

“You have time for this?” she asks, figuring that’s a safe opening.

“You mean like…”

“Anybody wondering where you are right now?” Fuck, that sounds creepy now that she’s said it, like she’s going to do something violent when the worst she’s actually thinking is how to get him under her, like-

“Kid’s doing something with her friends. That’s… it.”

Oh. Well.

Tess’s surprise must register or something, and she in general is apparently more expressive than she thinks, because her silence is enough to get her new acquaintance off the ladder and looking at her with more worry than she thinks another human has directed at her in her adult life. Oh, if this is how she makes it awkward…

“Saw your yard and I thought…”

“Kid watches too much TV. Her ideas and my hands.”

“How old?”

“Sixteen. Her mom left… a while ago. We try.”

Not objectively helpful information, Tess thinks – if anything, the implications that this man has been doing the single-parent thing impeccably for a good length of time just makes him more hot – but also exactly what she wanted to know and-

“I’m sorry if I got weird earlier. I make bad first impressions and… y’know, I try to behave but I’ve got eyes and you’re-“

“It’s alright.”

“Should’ve at least introduced myself first. Tess.”

“Joel. Nice to meet you.”

“I will… if you’re determined to save me from myself here, I will pay you. I’m not-“

“Conversation with an actual adult feels like enough.”

If she counts as an actual adult, the world is probably screwed, but…

“How much does that get me?”

* * * * *

It becomes something of a routine, after that.

Tess is determined to do as much of this minor renovation herself as she can, and turns out painting walls is a good way to burn off energy after work, but occasionally there are projects that she’s either not sure how to do or legitimately needs an extra set of hands for and that’s where the nice man next door comes in. Every time, she offers to compensate for the effort; every time, he turns her down. She’s covering materials and apparently that’s enough, and-

Every time, the thoughts about what could happen between them get a little more vivid.

They’re working on bathroom tile when she decides to actually do something about it, a project that she’d feel bad about if it wasn’t such a small space. Theoretically simple like everything else she’s tried to do, but her eye for detail isn’t great and it’s turned into her new friend doing most of it while she watches and hands him things and she probably owes him a kidney for this particular adventure alone and-

“So it’s just you here?” he asks, like he can read her damn mind and honestly she wouldn’t be surprised.

“Yeah.”

They’ve avoided most of the deep personal questions, instead talking mundane stuff like favorites, filling the space between them with whatever they can. They’re compatibly damaged people, she’s figured out that much, and he’s good like she’s not sure she is, and-

“Figured, but… had to ask.”

“Me trying to flirt with you still makes you think I’ve got somebody out there?”

“Can’t rule out an open relationship…”

Tess laughs – she does that more around him than most people, something inherently stabilizing about this dynamic they’re working out. “No judgement to anyone else, but I’m way too territorial for that. What’s mine is mine.”

He’s quiet for a while, places a few more tiles absolutely perfect, lets the tension rest. It’s not awkward, exactly, but the energy is different and-

“Understood.”

“Wasn’t saying… shit, I’m not sure if I wanna ask you out or pin you to a wall or-“

“I’d let you.”

She puts that information aside for as long as it takes to finish the project, until they’re cleaning up and she’s aware she looks good in this tank top, hair already a mess but she thinks she’d break him if he ever saw what she looks like when she tries and-

“Can I kiss you now?” she asks, just a little softer than necessary.

Joel leans down and puts his mouth on hers and it’s everything she wants, scruffy and warm and just a little hesitant, and she’s going to melt and she’s going to do something that’ll ruin them and-

“That good for you too?” Adoration in his eyes, she’s not sure what to do with this, she’s not sure-

Normally she does casual and easy to disconnect from, and she is well aware that screwing her neighbor is neither of those things and will, if it ends badly, ruin her life. But what if it doesn’t, she thinks. What if this is good? What if…

“We’ve got all the major stuff done,” she murmurs, thinking out loud. “If this gets weird…”

“You have your priorities,” he replies, almost playful.

“Been thinking about you all over me since I saw you, but… yeah.”

He takes another kiss, deeper this time, and she feels what he’s not saying, that he’s been having the same thoughts for a couple months now and wasn’t sure it was a good idea but fuck it they have nothing to lose and-

“You think I’d do all this if I didn’t like you?”

“Guess this is how I’m repaying you.” She’s seen that part coming for a while, the inevitability of it, and she doesn’t mind, she doesn’t-

“Not like that.”

“A little like that.”

She moves her body against his for emphasis, and she wants, she wants-

“Not like that,” he repeats.

“Think of it however you have to,” she replies, deciding this is as good a time as any to shed her tank top.

It’s been a while since she’s been with anyone under quite these circumstances – daylight in a hallway with someone she actually knows. A dry spell since the move hasn’t helped, enough of a crush that she’s lost interest in her previously normal routines, and-

While she’s stuck in her head, he gets her against the wall and gets on his knees for her, and she’s half confused and-

“This look like you repaying me?” he asks, hands on her waistband.

“Don’t know your preferences enough to know.”

She doesn’t push him away, and he takes that for the let’s-see-what-happens consent that it is, and… most of the men she fucks don’t go down on her, and she’s pleasantly surprised that this one wants to, and-

Something about how he undoes her makes her think he’s also on the tail end of a much longer dry spell, not that she’s complaining. She’s easy to work open, and he’s apparently as good at giving head as anything else he does, and she’s going to get herself ruined, and-

“Stay with me,” he breathes against her thigh. “Keep your eyes open.”

She doesn’t, when it matters. Something about the combination of factors gets her off faster than she’s used to, and that doesn’t stop him working her through, making sure she’s properly wrecked before he stops batting her clit with his tongue. They are ridiculously compatible, and she can’t remember the last time a partner gave her that much attention, and-

“That clear enough?” he asks, back on his feet and still way too clothed for her preferences.

“You want me to return the favor?”

“Stop talkin’ like that.”

Well, if this is how she ends up pinned to a wall, she’s not complaining.

She’s usually more assertive than this, but if someone wants to make clear how much they want her, she’ll go with it. It takes some pawing to get his shirt off before he lifts her up, and it’s just as well he was so thorough with his mouth because he’s as solid between the legs as everywhere else and-

Tess is pretty sure she’s in love, and pretty sure that’s not a normal thought to have when being fucked against a wall, and pretty sure she doesn’t care about anything else right now. She hasn’t been done this well in quite some time, maybe ever, and she doesn’t get off again but she at least gets warm enough to have a good time, and-

“Shit,” he says after, after he falls apart inside her with a sharp bite to her shoulder. “You on anything?”

“Implant. Don’t trust me with anything I have to think about more often.”

“Should’ve-“

“At least you’re asking now.”

“Still.”

She’s still half pinned to the wall, and she turns it into an embrace and oh they fit right with their bodies separated too. This better work out, she thinks, this better-

“What now?”

He gets a hand back in her hair, now thoroughly messed up. “Think that shower will fit both of us?”

Like she’d know, she’s tempted to murmur, but it’d ruin the moment. “Only one real way to find out…”

* * * * *

They make it work.

Desperate-hot sex and home-improvement projects are a weird combination to start a relationship on, but Tess is pretty sure she’s never actually dated anyone before, and Joel hasn’t in years upon years, and… at least they’re useless together, at least there’s that. At least they’re winging their way forward, slowly drifting into…

She keeps her own spaces, even when things get serious. It’s a better situation for both of them.

Her yard is still, no matter what she does, even when she lets the kid (Sarah, sweetheart, decides she likes Tess surprisingly quickly) try to help, the disappointment of the block. It’s fine. Comparison helps no one anyways.

A couple years later, just as Tess is starting to think that it might be time to propose now that she’s on the other side of forty and about as domesticated as she’s likely to ever get, she gets a phone call and apparently owes someone a huge favor and ends up sharing space with a teenage girl who reminds her a lot of the purse dogs she thought she moved out here to avoid and…

It all turns out okay in the end. Somehow.

[looloolooweez-sims]

The last household we'll visit in Willow Creek is the Spencer-Kim-Lewis family, who live in a big house in the Sage Estates neighborhood.

Eric Lewis enjoys his gorgeous home and his gorgeous family, but he can't help feeling like he's… missing something. He's afraid of having a super cliché midlife crisis about it, though.

Alice Spencer-Kim is determined to become a world-famous artist. Her paintings are already getting attention at small local galleries.

Olivia Kim-Lewis is an artsy kinda kiddo — not really surprising, with 1 parent who's perpetually covered in paint and 2 grandparents who dutifully "ooh" and "aah" over every little craft she's ever made.

Vivian Lewis is happy to take care of all the domestic things around the house while her son… does whatever he does all day… and his wife works on her art and her precious grandchild goes to school. Honestly, retirement isn't as boring as everyone said it would be; she finds it quite cozy.

Dennis Kim has honestly really been feeling his years lately. He's happy to putter around in the garden and help out with a few honey-dos, of course, but mainly he just needs yet another nap….

This family seems to have it all — a beautiful home, fulfilling activities, good relationships with each other. Can this perfection last forever?

At the start of Round 1,

The Spencer-Kim-Lewis family:

Lives in the Sage Estates neighborhood of Willow Creek

Has about § 54,070 in the bank

Owns a house worth about § 184,460; with lot traits Good Schools, Great Soil, Natural Light

Eric Lewis:

Is a YA

Has the traits Glutton, Materialistic, Self-assured; plus the aspiration trait Business Savvy

Has the Fortune aspiration Mansion Baron, at level 1 "Estate of the Art"

Has the Fortune aspiration Fabulously Wealthy, at level 1 "Going for Not Broke"

Is in the Criminal career, at level 1 "Tough Guy"

Is working on the skill Programming (level 3)

Alice Spencer-Kim:

Is a YA

Has the traits Childish, Creative, Loves the Outdoors; plus the aspiration trait Muser

Has the Creativity aspiration Painter Extraordinaire, at level 1 "Ill at Easel"

Is in the Painter career, at level 1 "Palette Cleaner"

Is working on the skill Painting (level 4)

Olivia Kim-Lewis:

Is a child

Has the trait Goofball

Has the Childhood aspiration Artistic Prodigy, at level 1 "Active Imagination"

Is going to school, with a grade of C

Vivian Lewis:

Is an elder

Has the traits Cheerful, Family-oriented, Foodie; plus the aspiration trait Domestic

Has the Family aspiration Big Happy Family, at level 2 "Caregiver"

Has the Family aspiration Successful Lineage, at level 2 "Caregiver"

Is in the Freelance Crafter career

Is working on the skill Cooking (level 4)

Dennis Kim:

Is an elder

Has the traits Loves the Outdoors, Neat, Perfectionist; plus the aspiration trait Domestic

Has the Family aspiration Big Happy Family, at level 2 "Caregiver"

Has the Family aspiration Successful Lineage, at level 2 "Caregiver"

Is in the Freelancer Crafter career

Is working on the skill Gardening (level 4)

[sweeterthanmydreams]

The Third Summer: Triple Trouble part 1 (the Hemming-Byrd Legacy)

[Legacy Challenge Rules] [My Legacy Sheet] [Blank Legacy Sheet] [Intro] [<< Previous] [Next >>]

Summer starts in with Lanuola's baby boot camp: she's rotating through the infants doing tummy time to get Amethyst, Merida, and Tourmaline their milestones. Ophelia tries hard to knock out her knitting once and for all while Bea gets her art on and starts working through a pack of crayons; she's not got much childhood yet, but she still has goals to achieve! If you haven't heard much about Ruby, it's because she aged up with terrible needs and has been walking across the lot aimlessly instead of dealing with them. This girl is doing serious laps, getting nowhere... Lanuola takes the babies through their first bubble baths in her homemade tub starting with Tourmaline and ending with Merida. At some point while marathon-drawing, Bea loses a second tooth.

Bea finally gets to play her violin, and Lanuola watches to give her pointers. While they're out practicing, visitors drop by: it's the neighbors to the rescue! The Iosuas drop by with extra food to help the struggling new parents which is greatly needed, since they're a little lacking on both time and leftovers. The next morning, Beatrix wakes up with yet another lose tooth; this girl is going to have an empty mouth sooner rather than later. I'm starting to suspect that the game is forgetting she already lost a tooth before. Beatrix decides to help out by tending the garden; after sleeping like the dead, little Ruby gets up to watch her. Day 2 of baby boot camp begin in earnest: Merida is the first to achieve solo tummy time powers! Ruby sings a jaunty little tune to baby sister Tourmaline and discovers that she's a little singer: she just likes making little musical melodies.

Bea knocks her aspiration out of the park! She's now an Artistic Prodigy and more than ready to move on to the wide world of teenage hood. I'm not ready for her to move on; sorta wish she had three weeks as a child (& three as a teen) instead of the 2:4 split. If this weren't a graded challenge, I'd just skew the aging to be a 3:3 split but I will refrain. The infants continue to conspire to have a nightmare array of traits: between Amethyst peeing on them during feed time, Merida letting it fly during changings, Tourmaline projectile sneezing snot, and Ruby getting her food everywhere Ophelia and Lanuola are eagerly awaiting the days when their little ones are old enough to be responsible for their own messes. There is so much yuck on the floor at all times.

Bea gets some quality mom time with Ophelia when she teaches her to knit; after hanging out for a bit, Ophelia masters her Lady of the Knits aspiration! In order to buckle down on helping with the babies, she's putting of picking a new goal for now. (After popping into Fabulously Wealth for the weekly deposit trait.) Amethyst is the first triplet to learn to sit up! Tourmaline is the next to figure it out and after a good nights sleep, Merida too gets sitting up figured out; she's the last to sit but the first to try a baby food with mom Lanuola. It's papaya and Merida quite likes it.

Lanuola gets a job offer to jump back into the world of business and try her hand at it's second branch: CEO. In the spirit of her midlife crisis, Ophelia takes off for work in the most ridiculous outfit I've ever seen. Bea and Ruby enjoy a beach day together. They decide to immortalize the baby turtle Bea saw in sand as a sculpture. As the sun sets over the sand, Bea celebrates her birthday with a bunch of her friends from her club! Thanks to the delicious tajine Lanuola served, they've also managed to ace the "have six sims sit & eat together" challenge for the Legacy. Bea continues down that green brick road as she ages up and has decided she's really into making things; on top of that, she's hoping to follow in mom Ophelia's footsteps and become a world class painter!

After her friends have gone home, her mom's introduce her to the big present they got her: her own recycling machine! She can't wait to rip the ribbons off and get to deconstructing! Now that she's rolled 2/3 of her traits, this means she has only one more chance to roll Child of the Islands and is thereby unlikely to be our heir. She still has a lot to achieve with Fabrication, so maybe she'll stay on to support the future heir when she grows up.

Tourmaline masters the pincer grasp and gets to try her first baby foods: applesauce & bananas, both of which she likes. Now that she's eating the chair, it's become clear that Tourmaline is ALSO a messy eater; she's been watching Ruby too much! After a glitchy bedtime juggle, all three infants are simultaneously put in their cribs for the night since it's due to rain tomorrow; Marcus Flex decides to step in and read Amethyst to sleep which gives Lanuola a chance to get back to her fitness goals & Ophelia some time to write a style blog.

In the morning, it's Beatrix's first day of high school! Despite my best efforts, I couldn't get rid of the overcast gloom pardon the particularly drab "off to school" shots. Since it's monsoon season anyways I, the player, take a break by making sure both Ophelia and Lanuola go to work leaving me with an empty house for the day; this also makes it Ruby's first day of daycare: she's gotten a surprising amount of "at home" time with her moms. Before Ophelia heads out to work, she helps Ruby work through some flash cards so she can master her final skill: learning to talk. Congratulations on completing all your skills Ruby!

This is the point where the game crashed on me. Thankfully I only lost a little bit of the evening & the morning routine, but I did my best to recreate it from my notes. I'm going to need Growing Together to cut me a break with these weird glitches.

At work, Lanuola discovers something fishy is up with the business' finances. Although the best idea for her career is to keep her head down, she decides it's time to blow the whistle (mostly for the fame boost). She does in fact get her fifteen minutes of fame on the local news and the confidence of doing the right thing, but she ends up home early for the day because she's been fired. That's alright with her, though: she's planning to kick her feet up and relax with the babies while waiting for her connections to roll another Business opportunity her way. Beatrix arrives home from school stressed out from all her hard work but there's good news! Family friend Wiki calls to inform her that she's way out performed expectations: she's ready for early graduation! Beatrix is STOKED; she can't wait to start college! That evening, after putting in for admission and scholarships, Beatrix is initiated into the Hummingbird Collective and joins her first meeting.

Amethyst is a slow learner but she finally gets to try her first baby food with Ophelia: it's yogurt and she loves it. Wiki & Fetia lend a helping hand while Ophelia and Lanuola try to get the triplets through the last of their milestones before their birthday. At this point, they've yet to stand on their own or say their first words so, despite Lanuola's tireless hours in baby boot camp, it's still a rush to get the basics complete. Little peanut butter puff (Merida) gets to try her first finger foods but is unsure about her peanut butter puffs. Amethyst tries her first finger food, too, (yogurt melts) but she was also unsure about them. In comparison to big sister Ruby, the triplets are not all that engaged with food; maybe Beatrix's picky eater phase rubbed off on them. While goofing around with Beatrix, Merida says her first word: "piggy"! Currently the score for "hearing first words" is two for two in Beatrix's favor.

Meanwhile, Lanuola wins the "ultimate milestone blocker" award: thanks to a carried over moodlet from a terminated pregnancy she can't wait to sit down the moment Tourmaline is out of her hands. The only problem is, she was setting Tourmaline down to pull herself up on that very chair... I very nearly burst a blood vessel over that one because it happened a lot. Amethyst says her first word while playing by herself on the play mat: her mom's overheard it while feeding her sisters & they both agree it was "hee hee. Oops.". After several false starts (read: Lanuola sitting in the chair before she could get to it) Merida is the last one to achieve "pull to stand". That just leaves Tourmaline's first word as the only milestone they're still waiting on.

If you've been counting, you'll notice that I'm already out of images in this post. Catch the tail end of the summer featuring the triplet's birthday and Ruby's birthday in the next part!

[thejenhardy]

LIVING FABULOUSLY WITHOUT DIETING OR GUILT

Nicole Christina helps us learn to love our aging bodies Food Disorders like anorexia and bulimia are making a comeback. But not just with younger girls – midlife and over! Yes, people in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and up are all being affected.  What can we do about it? Listen to today’s episode with Nicole Christina, who specializes in the psychology of this phenomenon. Who is Nicole Christina?…

[magpiedminx]

I was moved to do a fanart of Lauretta Hignett's brilliant series.

Dwayne the Chaos Goose is from the "Waif in the Wilds" series that is set in the Immortal Wild world. There are a few series, they're all brilliant, and while they're chronological, you don't really need to read them in any particular order.

Cecil the Fabulous is a duocorn from Lauretta's latest work "Welcome to Midlife Magic." A fantastic start with humour, adventure, and the slow burn that Lauretta is a master of!

.. The two should never be left unsupervised. They insist that everything was on fire when they got there.