#mental illness too
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christianity is sometimes funny to me because you have a whole multitude of theology on the doctrine and problem of sin, which is basically human error, and you have a bunch of "scholars" genuinely asking "why do humans err? how can this be? god must kill his son to fix us." and it's like we err because we're finite in every way? and we have to learn to be bad or good like it takes effort and trial and error? sin nature is literally just human finitude like a baby isn't born evil because it has to learn how to walk.
"why do we default to selfishness?" you are talking about self-preservation and capitalism and only one of these is evil. the other would be god's fault.
"but what about the large scale inhumane evil and wars and terrible systems? the genocides and violence? what is wrong with us? why can't we just get along?" lmao that's just men.
i know you really want human evil to be innate and universal for your theology to work and your god to not be out of a job, but you're complaining about human finitude, capitalism, self-preservation and men. that's literally it.
the dark forces you're talking about that compel humans to do evil are literally just men.
#religion#christianity#theology#mental illness too#upbringing as well#feminism#radblr#anti christianity#exvangelical#religion critical
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more people gotta try this shit where bill has not improved and will not change but he's just chilling so its fine probably. its great
#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#gf nevermind all that#is this really for that? no but if its post canon bill on earth then it may as well be. makes it nice and easy to find later too#reread tbob because we just got our own (nicely water damaged) copy and i was like. i dont draw him cute enough#i will continue trying to do better#anyways stanley you are a butch woman. stanley transition now you dont even have to do anything youre already perfect#its just about the intent#every time i drew him for the last one all i could think was oohhhhhh my god you are a dyke. to me. please#in other news are there any burned out pushing-30s out there who havent drawn in years? i gotta say. i really gotta say.#get mentally ill about something its great. preferably alongside a few other people that you can use to create a perpetual cycle of insanit#gets you drawing again in no time and it feels great
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finding out making up whole detailed scenarios with fictional characters in your head is a “sign of mental illness”

#actually mentally ill#fictional men are better#i got too silly#fanfic humor#tumblr memes#relatable#relatable memes#x reader#gojo satoru x reader#chuuya nakahara x reader#dazai osamu x reader#saiki k x reader#shoto todoroki x reader#bucky barnes x reader#billy hargrove x reader#anakin skywalker x reader#theodore nott x reader#lorenzo berkshire x reader#mattheo riddle x reader#cillian murphy x reader#johnathan crane x reader#dick grayson x reader#damon salvatore x reader#klaus mikaelson x reader#draco malfoy x reader#stiles stilinksi x reader#steve harrington x reader#steve rogers x reader#tony stark x reader#zhongli x reader
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i was searching up shadow milks sprites on the wiki (for reference) and i found something interesting
when the eye is closed, its the eye of truth. when opened, its deceit meaning that you are opening your eyes to deceit, which is opposite to the more usually referenced "open your eyes to the truth" idiom but it can also imply that the truth is only your truth until you open your eyes to all the lies that surrounds you. the truth is a lie, a sweet and white lie, but still a lie. and also, who usually keeps their eyes closed?
yeah. now, who recently was awoken to the lies that surrounded him? ill let you figure that out.
#i feel like this was such a random thought but it feels important enough to post#it works in line with what happens in the story too..#im very mentally ill over this okay just let me have this#irararaps#crk#pure vanilla cookie#shadow milk cookie
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btw guys managing your symptoms also means apologizing for things you didn't mean to do. sometimes you do things because of your disorders that you genuinely didn't mean to do, but if it hurt someone you still have to take accountability and make up for the hurt you caused
#directed at myself because I am learning too#cluster b#cluster b safe#cluster b stuff#npd#npd safe#bpd#bpd safe#cluster b disorders#aspd#hpd#mental health#mental illness#actually mentally ill#borderline personality disorder#actually borderline#borderline problems#actually npd#npd traits#1k#2k
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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can't even cat nap in peace 😾
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more windbreaker comics
#poor sakura couldnt even KO for 10 minutes before everyone started prodding and jabbing him like damn#EVERYONE LOVES HARUKA SAKURA SUPREMECY!!!!!#wind breaker spoilers#wind breaker 149#haruka sakura#and...gang... my energy lvls are too low im not tagging everyone closes eyes#wind breaker#wind breaker comics#comics#thecmart#cant believe its been two weeks since i made a post ashdfkj my dissociation is getting the best of me smh#dw i still have wb brainrot endou in those last two chapters was just FUELLING it hes a riot man what a guy#cant believe he really woke up and did the draw me like one of ur french girls poses this guy is so unserious#ILL BE BACK WITH MORE NONSENSE SOON... eventually.... i just gotta get my mental health in check like PHEW this noggin be foggin
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i got a thing for pushing people away when im at my lowest
#mentally fucked#venting#actually mentally ill#i hate it here#bpd thoughts#too fucking much#die#depressing shit#love#i hate him#missing you#i miss him#pushing people away#at my lowest#worse than usual#at my worst#deppresing thoughts#kinda depressing#tw depressing stuff#sorry for being depressing#tw depressing thoughts
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This would only work on Calypso’s island
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the odyssey#epic the musical#bill cipher#odysseus of ithaca#gravity falls fanart#epic the musical fanart#the ODDyssey AU#mythology falls au#digital art#my art#procreate#this is mental illness#see it only works on Calypso’s island bc every other time. Odysseus would be too clever to fall for bill#but on calypso’s island he’s just so desperate for anything to get him off the island#I love how I drew bill here haha#I’m becoming too silly
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I miss loving without being scared I'm too much
#bpd#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#bpd mood#bpd shit#bpd blog#bpd problems#bpd traits#bpd feels#bpd fp#fp bpd#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd safe#borderline problems#borderline blog#borderline thoughts#actually borderline#cluster b#actually cluster b#cluster b safe#actually mentally ill#mentally fucked#mentally exhausted#im so tired#vent#venting#too much#.txt file
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i listen to fog lake too much
#falls through the ceiling with a mighty crash hello#it's been what...8 months?#I was too busy w uni and being mentally ill#thank u everyone so much for the tags on all prev posts.. i re-read them oaccasionally 💗#they make me v happy thank u for giving me a moment of ur time#that means so much#anyway! vashwood!!#i hate them so much#i want to eat them#i want to ugly cry#i want an ideal world where they could've had something for a little bit#im eating drywall and pacing around the room in a cold sweat#so trimax-atypical overt intimacy it is#more coming...in maybe another year#It's a big project!#to me. yeah#my dream is to be put in a terrarium for a while#if only u knew how many wips I have w vashwood..#maybe i'll get tired and pile them into one post all unfinished and no less ok for it yk#whatever u r doing doesn't need to be perfect to make someone happy#didn't u experience a positive little zap from my imperfect colored doodle rn?#what a speedrun of a drawing that was#(<spent 10h on it. that's the minimum for anything ever)#hope today is treating you well! so long stranger!#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trimax#trigun#tzarrz
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Siegfried Sassoon, counter attack
#i’m actually going insane#i’m exploding#i’m so mentally ill#i’m autistic#and i’m making you all read this because you need to be too#ww1 history#ww1#wwi#world war i#world war one#world war 1#poetry#siegfried sassoon#war literature#literature
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#i cant do this#girl interrupted#hell is a teenage girl#actually mentally ill#black swan#nina sayers#female hysteria#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#lana del rey#the virgin suicides#im so tired#im just a girl#lizzy grant#lana stan#i am losing my mind#blogger.com#girl blogger#i care too much#norman fucking rockwell#coquette#speak#real
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five nights in 5,000 different positions
#i can’t stop guys#down astronomically bad#he’s all i think about seriously#he’s too hot#I NEED HIM#i’m mentally ill#crying screaming yelling#josh hutcherson#josh hutcherson renaissance#jhutch#fnaf#fnaf movie#five nights at freddy's#mike schmidt#micheal schmidt#mike schmidt x reader#micheal schmidt x you#mike afton#micheal afton#micheal schmidt x reader
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#me too Hex me too#out of spoons error#discworld#terry pratchett#mental illness#meme#lol#funny pics#funny#humor#100% accurate#mental health#still you have to laugh#meirl
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banging on the wall of my asylum room can anyone hear me.
#pokemon#kieran#trainer kieran#florian#sghr#candyappleshipping#hrsg#rival kieran#trainer florian#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon sv#indigo disk#art#fanart#persona 5#shuake#trust me bro….#tealmaskshipping#suguharu#WHY ARE THERE SO MANY NAMES#giggling cackling sobbing maniacally#yknow throughout the game I was waiting for kieran to pop the ‘I hate you Florian’ like any self respecting rival yaoi would do#but he never…. did it……#HIS SPEECH IN THE TERAPAGOS ROOM WAS CLOSE ENOUGH THO!!!! CLOSE ENOUGH…..#speaking of which yeah maybe the bg being terapagos room instead of bb entrance would’ve fit better but whatever man#begging you not to look at any mistakes too closely I did this in a feverish frenzied state#does anybody get me or do I have to go insane all by myself#anywa i thought i was being delusional and mentally ill with my interpretation of kieran but then terapagos room happened and#HE JUST SAYS ALL THAT? HES ACTUALLY EXACTLY LIKE THAT. HES SO FUCKED#rank 8 akechi has such a special place in my soul. I’ve never been the same person since.
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