#medical description

[unchained-zeldaverse]

Chapter 5

Gore warning for this chapter, we gettin Medical up in this bitch

"Royal? Royal stay with me!" Someone called out, causing Royal to awake into darkness. Where was she? Everything felt fuzzy except her shoulder, which screamed in pain, but even that felt... dull? She could faintly hear other voices calling out, something about stitches, and blood. Were they talking about her? Royal fought hard to keep her eyes open, to try and see past the darkness that was suffocating her, but eventually she couldn't fight it any longer, and she drifted back to sleep.

"Oh Goddesses what are we gonna do? She's bleeding through the cloth!" Past was completely freaking out at this point, hands covered in blood as she continued to press the cloth against Royal's wound. She had shown signs of waking up for a bit, but that had been a while ago.

"Breathe, breathe. It won't do us any good if you pass out from panicking. Fall, how far are we from the nearest town?" Legend put her hand on Past's back, trying to calm the younger woman down. Past sucked in a deep breath, before slowly letting her breath out. She furrowed her brow and kept pressing.

"Its through the forest here, around the other side of the water. But there's no garuntee they'd have a doctor. We may have to stitch her up here and now anyways, she's losing a lot of blood." Fall was frantically looking over the map, before looking over at Fae, who was halfway to falling into the carriage compartment with how deep he was searching for sewing supplies. He had said he had sewn his own injuries up in the past, but he had run out of thread before being dumped here. Past could only pray that Royal had been smart enough to buy some in Katsuto Town.

"Here! I found some!" With a grunt, Fae pulled himself out of the carriage compartment and hurried over to Past. He knelt down, pulling a needle out of his bag and swiftly threading it. "Alright, I need you to lift up the cloth while I work, ok Past?"

Past nodded, waiting for Fae's cue before lifting the cloth. Great Hylia, she felt her stomach roil as she looked at the wound. It was deep, fat just barely peeking out from the blood that quickly flooded the area, thankfully the bone wasn't exposed, or she may have vomited then and there.

"Can I have you hold the area steady?" Fae asked, rolling his sleeves up, and getting ready to suture the area. Past could only nod, gulping as Fae placed her hands where they were needed before he began sewing. She could only clench her eyes shut as he worked, trying to ignore the feeling of blood seeping through her fingers.

Soon enough, Fae leaned back with a sigh of relief. Past cracked an eye open, she almost wished she hadn't. There was still blood everywhere, but the wound had been, albeit a bit sloppily, sewn shut. She looked over to Fae, who was starting to stand.

"Alright, now we just need some relatively clean water to wash away the remaining blood." He said, looking over at the others. "And bandages." He paused for a moment, looking back over at the unconscious form of Royal. "And probably a new shirt."

"We have the first two, but a new shirt is out of the question until we get to..." Fall glanced at the map. "Rauru or Ruto town. I think Rauru is a little closer though. And hopefully they'll have a doctor there as well. It's a detour from our main path, but it's better than Royal dying of an infection."

Past tensed up at the mention of an infection. She hadn't even considered that possibility. Oh Hylia what if Royal got sick? As Legend and Fall carefully loaded Royal into the carriage, Past paced a little. She only stopped when Rise put a hand on her shoulder.

"Royal is going to be ok, I swear it. So calm down, alright?" Past could only look in Rise's general direction, trying so hard to not break down. She gave a stiff nod, and let Rise guide her into the carriage, latching it behind them as they headed off, at a much faster pace than usual. Seemed like even Ol Betsy knew they were in a rush.

Past tried her hardest to not look at Royal, instead focusing on keeping Celestial distracted. This must be hard on the young girl, was all she could think. She was barely older than Past had been when... when... She didn't want to think about it.

"I coulda... I shoulda been faster, if I had cast that spell sooner, Royal wouldn't be hurt..." Celestial mumbled, curling in on herself. Past pulled her close, stroking her hair like her brother used to do for her

"No, no dear, you couldn't have known. None of us were ready for it. And besides, if you hadn't cast the spell when you did, it could've been so much worse. You saved us a lot of fighting we weren't prepared for." Past tried her best to comfort Celestial, ignoring her own welling tears. She hadn't managed to do any fighting herself, being completely useless in the carriage. At least Fae had had the excuse of a broken nose and a small dagger.

The young girl let out a stifled sob as she buried her head in Past's shirt. Rise looked as if she wanted to say something, but bit her lip and seemed to reconsider it. Instead they rode in silence, all of them trying to ignore how limp Royal was in her seat.

"Guys, she's waking up!" Royal slowly blinked awake, vision blurry as she barely made out the figure of Legend leaning over her. She then heard the approaching footsteps of the rest of the group, and several faces began appearing around her. She tried to say something, but all that came out was a strained groan.

"Easy, easy. We got you stitched up and to a doctor but your injury is still pretty bad." Fae's face came into clear view as she managed to turn her head ever so slightly to the right. The stench of some kind of alcohol made her nose crinkle. It seemed to be coming from her shoulder.

... Her Shoulder! She almost shot up, had Legend not been hovering a hand over her, almost like the older woman had expected it. What movement she did make made her shoulder Scream in pain, and she quickly flopped back down.

"Relax, it's ok. The doc had to pour some alcohol on your shoulder to clean it better than we did, but it's still pretty messed up. You've uh... been out for a day or so now too, so getting up too fast may make you pass out again." Legend's voice was calm.

"Is... is everyone else ok?" Royal's own voice was hoarse, her throat dry as a desert. "No one's injured?"

"Nothing more than a scrape or stray ember burn. You, my friend, are both extremely lucky and unlucky." Came a strange voice. A man came into her field of view, as the others stepped back. "Name's Duln, but you can just call me Doc. Let's get you sat up a little."

Duln grabbed a few pillows and used them to prop Royal up and now she could see the rest of the group. Past looked especially harrowed, wringing her hands. Celestial stuck close to her, clinging to the fabric of the older girls dress. They both looked like they hadn't slept yet, dark circles just barely starting to form under Past's eyes. In fact, it looked like none of them had slept yet. Were they all that worried about her? She supposed she would be just as worried about them...

"Alright now, let's have a look at your wound here, this might hurt a bit." There was a gentle peeling sound, and a Burning pain in her shoulder, which nearly elicited a yell, but she bite it back, by literally biting into her lip. She clenched the sheets she was on with her left hand, barely peeking over to see if she could make out her injury, with no luck. It felt just out of her vision, but certainly felt Bad. Duln let out a low whistle.

"Well the stitches are holding, and there doesn't seem to be any signs of infection yet, but I Am worried about the mobility of that arm once it heals." He hummed for a moment, gently patting the wound with a clean cloth. Suddenly he shot up. "Ah! There's a regular patient of mine, old as time itself he'd say, with some shoulder issues too, I'll see if he has any advice."

"Thank you so much Doc, I don't know how we can ever repay you." Legend looked up from Royal's wound, facing the doctor.

"You can repay me by staying long enough that she starts healing, and that I can tell she won't immediately get an infection by another Bokoblin attack." Legend simply nodded, turning to face the group.

"You hear that? We'll be sleeping here for a while, so why don't you guys go out and find us a good spot to set up camp." Fae nodded and started out, quickly followed by Rise and Fall. Past hesitated, before guiding Celestial out as well. Future waited until they were all gone, before sighing and visibly deflating.

"So you don't think you'll have to amputate, right?" Royal looked over with mild alarm at the question. Was the wound That bad?

"No, no, as long as it heals properly, there's not even a chance." Duln nodded his head, before turning to Royal. "Now, did You want to see the wound? I have to say, that friend of yours did a decent job on the stitching, all things considered." She could only nod as he brought out a small mirror.

Holding it up with her good arm, Royal turned it this way and that to get a good look. The wound was deep, she could tell by how far it had gone down the front, and the stitching was, haphazard to say the least, with smaller stitches holding the wound more closed and following the path of the larger, and obviously frantic stitching. Royal simply shook her head a little as she looked at it, and muttered.

"Thank you Hylia once again for making me left handed."

"What?" Legend raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing just, talking to myself. How long do you think it'll take to start healing?" Duln clicked his tongue.

"Oh I'd say a few days for it to start healing, but it's gonna be at least a fortnight before I can safely let you go. By then it should be mostly healed over and you'll be out of the infection danger zone. Now you two rest while I go ask that one patient if he's got any tips he uses for mobility." With that, the doctor walked out of the room, leaving just Legend and Royal.

There was a moment of silence, a tense, awkward silence, before Legend gently took the mirror from Royal.

"Listen I... I just wanted to say sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry for what?"

"For not being fast enough. None of us were, but if I had just been... if I had just gotten off Ol Betsy a little faster, you might not have gotten hit with that cleaver, and we'd still be on our way to the castle, and you wouldn't have possibly lost an arm and-"

"Enough." Legend's head shot up at the firm voice of Royal. "It is No One's fault, at most it would be my own because I was distracted. So there's no use in moping and self deprecation, understand?" Legend slowly nodded her head, taking a deep breath and wiping one eye with the hand not holding the mirror.

"Right, of course... I've been saying that to Celestial the whole time but I guess I couldn't get it into my own head." She laughed weakly. Royal patted her on the shoulder and shifted, letting out a hiss of pain as her shoulder moved. Legend looked over quickly, a thought clearly forming in her head.

"By the way, you can still feel your arm, right? Aside from the pain? Doc was worried you might lose feeling in your fingers especially because of how deep it was. Like, can you feel this?" Legend hurried to the other side of Royal, and gently pressed her finger to the back of Royal's hand. The feeling was fuzzy, but certainly there.

"Yes, I can feel my arm and fingers. Though I'll be feeling it better once I heal, I assume." She wiggled her fingers as just a test, wanting to make sure there wasn't any lost movement. Nothing seemed amiss, so she gave what she hoped was a comforting smile to Legend. The other woman smiled back, worry still etched across her face. "Here, help me sit up more, I need to be upright to properly discuss where we're going to be sleeping."

"Well the townsfolk said there was an old abandoned house on the outskirts of town, I think we saw it on our way in, and I was thinking we could get permission to rest there. They said it was in fine condition, just no one wanted to move here, and no one wanted to tear the place down." Legend rambled a bit more, before the door to the room opened.

"They said we can use the house." Fall walked in, followed by the rest of the group, and Duln. "It might be a bit of a tight squeeze sleeping arrangement wise, but better than the inn in Katsuto Town. We got a little cleaning of it done too, so there's no worry of Royal getting sick from it."

"And I have some notes from my patient on what helps him best with shoulder mobility, for when your wound begins to heal that is." Duln waved a small bundle of papers in his hand, setting it on the desk nearby. "For now, I want you to put as little strain on that shoulder and arm as possible. And if the stitches start to itch, which they will, do Not scratch them. You'll also want to avoid too much water on them, so there's even less of a chance for infection."

Royal nodded slightly, as Legend finally helped her sit up all the way. She certainly ached all over to say the least, but it was better than being dead. Resisting the urge to stretch, she looked back over at the doctor, who was gathering some bandages from a set of drawers.

"How often should I clean the area?" She asked, cautiously waiting for an answer as Duln bandaged over her stitches tightly, but not Too tightly. He hummed a moment, clearly thinking.

"I'd say once every few days once the bandages come off, which should only be a day or two, though it may be longer depending on how well you start healing. Oh! Don't get these bandages wet either, that's a wonderful way to get an infection. Gotta keep a nice balance of wet and dry to heal." He held up the remaining bandages once he was done. "Now I'm going to have you take these with you, so you can have someone change your bandages once a day, sooner if they get wet or dirty, alright?"

Royal nodded, looking over to the group. "You all paid attention when he was wrapping right? Who's willing to change the bandages when it needs to be done?" The others looked between each other, before Fae raised his hand.

"I'll do it, I've wrapped wounds before... usually my own but still." He took the bandages from Duln, who gave him a look.

"I still haven't gotten my chance to examine you for further injury you know."

"OkIGottaGoCleanTheHouseABitMoreBye!" Fae stammered, racing out of the room. The doctor simply sighed, shaking his head.

"I don't know why the boy won't let me check him over. Is he embarrassed about his old wounds or something?" Legend bit her lip slightly and shrugged.

"Something like that you could say. Anyways, is there anything else we should know before we head out and get Royal situated?" She asked, starting to stand.

"Mmmmm, no I believe that's about it, just follow those instructions, come back if there are any issues, and don't forget to take those notes with you." Duln gestured to the small stack of papers from before. Legend simply nodded and helped Royal get off the cot, being careful to not jostle her shoulder.

"Thank you again Doc, we'll be sure to come back before we plan on leaving too, just to make sure it's all alright."

The group said their goodbyes, as they huddled around Legend and Royal, leaving just enough room to move out of the building. Royal squinted in the light as they left, the bright sunlight being a stark contrast to the dim, window lit room they had been in. The sun was right overhead, and as she took in more of her surroundings, Royal noted a lack of people. She recalled the mention of people not wanting to move there, and assumed that whatever people Were still living here, aside from the doctor and his known patient, were inside, away from the heat.

"This way." Legend said, gesturing to the west. "The house is down this way, on the edge of town like I said earlier. It's got it's own well too, so we won't have to go far for clean water."

Rather slowly, Royal was still uneasy on her feet as of yet after all, the group made their way west, where they eventually came upon a larger house than most of the others, it's exterior worn and colors faded. Out front stood their carriage and Ol Betsy, who was standing in the shade of a tree, calmly grazing. The horse looked up at the sound of their approach, and hurried over, nearly knocking Rise over as she investigated Legend and Royal.

"Easy girl, easy, don't touch the bandages you'll get them wet." Legend soothed Ol Betsy, who eventually determined everything was alright as it could be and wandered back to her grazing spot. Royal couldn't help but laugh a little, both at the horse and Rise's face as Ol Betsy nearly knocked her over again.

"So this is where we're going to be living for a while hm? Guess we better go inside so you can give me the tour." Royal looked over at Legend, who grinned and started walking up the short stairs up to the porch.

"It would be my honor!"

[jamiebluewind]

My arm hurts

I broke it 5 years ago and it still hurts. It's still weak. Sometimes when I pick up something, it would feel like my arm was breaking. I went to doctors. The xrays were normal. I've got enough movement. It's fine...

It wasn't

I went to my new pcp (primary care physician) after it was getting to me again. He sent me to a specialist on bones who then sent me to a SPECIAL specialist on just arm bone stuff. The specialists saw my flexibility and the normal x-ray, but also the pain, so they ordered a CT scan. I half hoped they would find something just to have proof that I wasn't crazy and maybe a way to go forward.

The CT scan results popped in my portal, so I looked.

Chronic fracture deformities (bone kept breaking and/or bone took a looong time to heal) post ORIF (the surgery they do to repair bones). Cortical lunacy along the radial aspect of the mid radial diaphanous (in the middle of the big bone in my arm, there's a line that the 3D x-ray went through that it shouldn't have been able to at that strength).

I see the specialist again in 2 weeks. It's been sooo bad the last month. I currently can't hold my phone in my left hand for longer than a minute without it hurting. I struggle to pick up my cat with one arm. I can't open child safe caps, so my roommate has to help. I use a cane for my sporadic left side weakness, so having my left hand be useless means I really can't do much while walking. I'm moving in a couple months and I'm struggling to pack. Just on and on and on...

I broke my left ankle a couple years ago. The scar is small, there is no pain, I often forget anything is in there, and I swear it's stronger than it was BEFORE the break. I never get to forget about my arm because on top of the pain and everything else, the doctor that did the surgery left a long scar down both sides of it. People assume things when they see the bigger one. I hate it. I'm tired of explaining it. I'm tired of people getting weird or staring at it. I was going to get a tattoo over it to make it a little less noticeable, but it hurts so much and the scars are so thick that I don't think I'll ever be able to.

- Pictures below break, followed by graphic details -

The other side isn't as bad but...

yeah.

You might be wondering what those dashes are beside the long scar. If you wanna know, be warned. This part gets graphic.

The original doctor used non dissolving sutures, wrapped about 2/3rds of the stitched area in a single layer of gause with a cast over it, and sent me home. I tried contacting them about my stitched catching in the cast and pulling. About my skin growing over the stitches.

They ignored me every time.

It wasn't until I told them that the knot of one got so stuck in the cast that I had to cut it with a pair of sanitized nail clippers. They had me come in and were actually SURPRISED that my skin had grown completely over all the stitches except for the knot of some of them. So what did they do?

They cut.

I was awake and just sitting in the office as they cut off my cast. They gave me nothing for pain as over two dozen cuts were made down my arm to get enough access to my arm to dig out the stitches with tweezers. On top of pain, I felt weak and this sick cold feeling as they worked. Then, the other side of my arm and more of the same. I was shaking from it all. And then? He just sent me home. Gave me a brace to wear. When I told him that the weight of my hand made my arm feel like it was gonna snap and that I still could barely move two of my fingers, he waved me off, saying it would get better with physical therapy.

It took YEARS of me working on my hand to get as much dexterity as I have now. And it hurts. It always hurts. I told him. I told so many. Something is wrong. I did everything they suggested and nothing helped.

Part of me wonders if this is all my fault. My father said it was because I was stupid (went to a sleep doctor and they had something slick on the floor that I slipped on and the ENT that came ALSO nearly slipped on it too). My mind says all of you will blame me for cutting the stitch caught on my cast. But... I don't know. Sometimes screaming into the void helps. Sometimes a stranger is even nice and/or helpful about it! I just... two weeks. Two weeks until I find out if anything can even be done for this. And all the while, I wasn't able to sue the place I fell and the surgeon that messed up my arm is still probably out there practicing. It sucks.

[morbidbusinesstactics]

I love having a cyst because randomly I'll just be able to feel my uterus inside of my body

[vaxxman]

"Do you miss the time when you used to do no harm?"

Old habits.

Merc behaviour is based on a nice little comment @up-in-flames-writing left on one of my comics :)

Rambling and more silly drawings below.

Loosely based on the Solemn Vow's public blurb:

Art lovers will cherish the bust of Hippocrates, commemorating a time when the Medic still thought doing no harm was a good idea.

I am absolutely convinced that Medic carries dextrose drops with him. German pharmacies throw these after you when you buy anything at all. I went to check if this one specific brand I know of had been around since the 60s and 70s and yes, it was.

Small acts of kindness I can see Medic doing is giving everyone one of these if they are tired. I'm talking about Engineer mostly.

Or they snack on them when solving practical problems together, like during the teleporter bread tumor incident.

[notfeelingthyaster]

every season of house is the same. it starts fine, and then mid-season house has a drug related problem, and he gets mean, and say awful things, and then maybe he tries to get better. he inevitably fails. he has some closeted gay second plot where all his/wilson's romantic relationships are actually a parallel to their relationship with each other. all his ducklings are imploding. there's someone dying somewhere, but that's not actually important.

and i eat it up every time.

[homkamiro]

Sillay heavymed commission!! They cookin!!!!!!

[parisoonic]

🌇

- Comfort food colour sketch done inbetween meetings - inspired by a frame from Nimona

[lunacias]

(Silence. CARPENTER tries to rally HAYWARD's spirits. She's afraid she's going to lose him.)

"All three of us - we can all go on living, Hayward. Just like you said."

[zarla-s]

I never posted this old space-themed TF2 comic here before did I? enjoy heavy and medic bickering... IN SPACE!!! This was before Meet the Medic so no one really knew what Medic would be like, he’s too grumpy here! But how could I have known, haha.

I wanted to have the other three in here as well but I thought it’d make the last panel too busy. If you’re curious, Soldier and Demo would have crashed their rocket into a planet and would be pressing Engie to fix it, hehe.

[patreon]

[funkle420]

Turbo Granny blunt rotation WIP

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

*tries to organize my thoughts*

*remembers i'm not in school and therefore beholden to neither heaven nor hell nor any man's grading system*

*joyously shredding & tossing all my carefully arranged 3x5 mental notecards into the air like so much beige confetti. raising my arms in victory, cheering raucously until i accidentally inhale bits of homemade confetti*

(*coughing up itty bits of paper like a cat evicting a hairball with a firm understanding of tenants' rights*) wait wat happens next

[jamiebluewind]

My arm hurts

I broke it 5 years ago and it still hurts. It's still weak. Sometimes when I pick up something, it would feel like my arm was breaking. I went to doctors. The xrays were normal. I've got enough movement. It's fine...

It wasn't

I went to my new pcp (primary care physician) after it was getting to me again. He sent me to a specialist on bones who then sent me to a SPECIAL specialist on just arm bone stuff. The specialists saw my flexibility and the normal x-ray, but also the pain, so they ordered a CT scan. I half hoped they would find something just to have proof that I wasn't crazy and maybe a way to go forward.

The CT scan results popped in my portal, so I looked.

Chronic fracture deformities (bone kept breaking and/or bone took a looong time to heal) post ORIF (the surgery they do to repair bones). Cortical lunacy along the radial aspect of the mid radial diaphanous (in the middle of the big bone in my arm, there's a line that the 3D x-ray went through that it shouldn't have been able to at that strength).

I see the specialist again in 2 weeks. It's been sooo bad the last month. I currently can't hold my phone in my left hand for longer than a minute without it hurting. I struggle to pick up my cat with one arm. I can't open child safe caps, so my roommate has to help. I use a cane for my sporadic left side weakness, so having my left hand be useless means I really can't do much while walking. I'm moving in a couple months and I'm struggling to pack. Just on and on and on...

I broke my left ankle a couple years ago. The scar is small, there is no pain, I often forget anything is in there, and I swear it's stronger than it was BEFORE the break. I never get to forget about my arm because on top of the pain and everything else, the doctor that did the surgery left a long scar down both sides of it. People assume things when they see the bigger one. I hate it. I'm tired of explaining it. I'm tired of people getting weird or staring at it. I was going to get a tattoo over it to make it a little less noticeable, but it hurts so much and the scars are so thick that I don't think I'll ever be able to.

- Pictures below break, followed by graphic details -

The other side isn't as bad but...

yeah.

You might be wondering what those dashes are beside the long scar. If you wanna know, be warned. This part gets graphic.

The original doctor used non dissolving sutures, wrapped about 2/3rds of the stitched area in a single layer of gause with a cast over it, and sent me home. I tried contacting them about my stitched catching in the cast and pulling. About my skin growing over the stitches.

They ignored me every time.

It wasn't until I told them that the knot of one got so stuck in the cast that I had to cut it with a pair of sanitized nail clippers. They had me come in and were actually SURPRISED that my skin had grown completely over all the stitches except for the knot of some of them. So what did they do?

They cut.

I was awake and just sitting in the office as they cut off my cast. They gave me nothing for pain as over two dozen cuts were made down my arm to get enough access to my arm to dig out the stitches with tweezers. On top of pain, I felt weak and this sick cold feeling as they worked. Then, the other side of my arm and more of the same. I was shaking from it all. And then? He just sent me home. Gave me a brace to wear. When I told him that the weight of my hand made my arm feel like it was gonna snap and that I still could barely move two of my fingers, he waved me off, saying it would get better with physical therapy.

It took YEARS of me working on my hand to get as much dexterity as I have now. And it hurts. It always hurts. I told him. I told so many. Something is wrong. I did everything they suggested and nothing helped.

Part of me wonders if this is all my fault. My father said it was because I was stupid (went to a sleep doctor and they had something slick on the floor that I slipped on and the ENT that came ALSO nearly slipped on it too). My mind says all of you will blame me for cutting the stitch caught on my cast. But... I don't know. Sometimes screaming into the void helps. Sometimes a stranger is even nice and/or helpful about it! I just... two weeks. Two weeks until I find out if anything can even be done for this. And all the while, I wasn't able to sue the place I fell and the surgeon that messed up my arm is still probably out there practicing. It sucks.

[gallusrostromegalus]

For the OC ask I'd like to ask: betrayal or midnight (whichever you want, or both if you have the time/ energy)

Midnight: What keeps them up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

--- It well past Midnight.

It was hard to tell in Las Noches, because the natural sun outside was just as dark as the sky, and the artificial sun Aizen installed under the dome never set. But the air was cooler, and marginally more humid.

Coyote Starrk was up, roaming the halls- he slept all day so Lilynette has the energy to play with their new friends. She liked to follow the older girls around, especially Ulquiorra's underlings, Cici and Vivi, and sometimes Charlotte, if the woman offered to play makeup with her.

Besides, it felt... normal to him, to roam at night. When things cooled off and quieted down and the other nocturnes came out to play. Hallibel, for one- Coyote wasn't actually sure when she slept, or if she did. The closest he'd ever seen is her folded in a corner somewhere, breathing deeply but as soon as he approached, she would open one eye and at least grunt her half of a conversation. Ulquiorra was usually out on the roof somewhere and he made for decent if somewhat gloomy stargazing company. Grimmjow was often stalking the lower levels, Aaroniero/Arruruerie emerged from their shadowy sanctuary to scuttle about the kitchen, and Szaylel kept not so much irregular as outright chaotic hours.

He was in the outer halls that go around the dome, artificial sunlight streaming in one side, silvery moonlight in the other, and all the noises of the night echoing between them. It wasn't actually being sociable, per se, but it soothed the lonliness to hear everyone about or not.

"AAAAOOUGH!!"

Mostly.

Coyote sighed, rolling his eyes and sped up to meet the howling.

"HAAAUGH! AAAAUG!" Wonderweiss cried, scrabbling awkwardly up a set of stairs and bouncing off the walls as he sprinted for Coyote, eyes wide and terrified.

"Hey, hey, calm d-OOF!" Coyote tried to soothe as the small hollow slammed into his middle, bawling. "OW! Dammit Kid! What's the big idea, howling like it's the full moon out- Oh. Fuck."

Weiss was sobbing, paler than usual, and going a bit funny at the edges. It happened sometimes when he was particularly upset- a third eye sprouting in the middle of his forehead, too many fingers on his hands, and two extra mouths splitting open on the sides of his throat- the ears had gone long and floppy again too.

"Okay, okay, take it easy-" Coyote kept his voice low, hands on the boy's shoulders, trying to calm him down. "-What's wrong, eh?"

"HOUSA! HOUSA ICK!" Weiss yelped, scrambling to his feet and trying to pull Coyote after him.

"Yeah, I don't know what Housa is- Alright, show me." Coyote sighed, getting up and allowing himself to be pulled along. Inarticulate as the boy was, he wasn't stupid, or prone to hysteria. The last time he'd had a howling fit like this, one of Szaylel's creations had gotten loose in the Menos Pits and grown to a nearly unmanageable scale in under and hour.

Weiss dragged him down the stairs and along one of the other external hallways, then deeper into the city, past the hall where Aizen held his interminable meetings-

"HOUSA! HOUSA!" Weiss called as they skidded down a little dogleg hall where one of the Shinigami lords was housed-

"Weiss!" Coyote hissed. "You're going to wake Tousen!"

"YAH! HOUSA!!" Weiss nodded, yanking open the door to the Shinigami's room and running in.

"Shit! I- I'm sorry sir, Weiss was worried about- Oh. Oh, fuck." Coyote realized with horror.

Tousen's room was a small, spare place- little more than a narrow bed, wash basin and desk before the heavily-barred windows. Coyote had never seen the inside of it before, but the pale strips of moonlight through the bars made Coyote realize Tousen wasn't here by choice.

The man himself was sitting on the floor, back against the wall next to the washbasin, the scent of vomit still fresh in the room. He looked awful; gaunt, and the wrong color- almost a dull gray rather than the warm brown when Coyote had first met him. His eyes were closed tightly, he was panting heavily, gripping his abdomen, and not responding to Weiss's calls and shaking his arm.

"Shit." Coyote hissed, kneeling beside the Shinigami- he was sweating and very hot to the touch, but moaned faintly. "Weiss- Weiss! Listen, I need you to find- fuck, um- Find me Paramia or Rudborne, okay? One of them might know what to do."

Weiss whimpered, looking between Coyote and Tousen.

"Go! I'll take care of him, okay?" Coyote urged, and with a final worried look at the shinigami, Weiss sprinted off.

"...Because I definitely know how to do that." Coyote sighed, looking down at the man. "Uh, um. Pulse? He should have one of those, right? Hey, um, Lord Tousen? I'm just gonna. Grab your throat. Yeah that's totally nonthreatening..." He muttered, looking around the room and finding his Zanpakuto on the bed.

Instead of biting him like Coyote would have done if someone had started poking his throat while he was barely conscious, Tousen instead rolled his head weakly in Coyote's direction, pale eyes cracked open.

"...Sssjn?" Tousen mumbled.

"What?" Coyote blinked. "Um, oh, there's your pulse... Yeah, I- I don't think it's supposed to be doing that." Coyote winced, the human's pulse not so much beating as rapidly vibrating under his fingers.

"...Sajin?" He asked again, reaching up for Coyote's face with a shaking hand. "Sajin? Is that you?"

"Who?" Coyote blinked. "Tousen? Can you hear me? What's wrong with you? Something you ate?"

"Sajin, I- I'm so sorry...." He wheezed, voice weak, hand dropping away before he could reach Coyote's face. "I- I need to get you up. Find a doctor- Do we have a doctor? Paramia knows how to do a good stitch-up, but... Fuck. Alright, come on, on your feet-" Coyote grunted, pulling Tousen's arm over his shoulder.

"AUGH!" Tousen shrieked with pain as he was pulled up. "Please! Please, don't- just let me be..."

"No way, you're the only guy here with half a brain and I'd really like to live through this whole war with the shinigami thing so I'm really countin' on you to pull through-" Coyote explained, getting one arm under Tousen's shoulders and pulling him away from the wall-

-there was an unpleasantly wet peeling sound as he stood.

Coyote looked over the shoulder of the man slumped against him to see a bright stripe of blood running down the man's spine and against the wall he'd been propped against.

"I'm so, so sorry..." Tousen whimpered. "I never- I never meant to hurt you..."

"Hurt ME? What the hell, you couldn't hurt a mouse like this, nevermind me!" Coyote yelped, scooping the small man into his arms and then nearly dropping him as he over-corrected. Tousen was much lighter than he should be.

LILYNETTE!! Coyote howled over their bond. WAKE THE FUCK UP!ITS AN EMERGENCY!

WHAT?! She snarled back as Coyote sprinted out of the little cell of a room, looking for someone, anyone-

Tousen's on death's door, we need to find a- a doctor, someone! He panted, searching the halls.

Do we even HAVE a doctor? Lilynette wondered back.

That's what I wanted to know! He grumbled, sprinting up the stairs toward the meeting room.

WHY WOULD I KNOW? WE SHARE A BRAIN, MORON!! she cried back. Fuck, Uh- Not Szaylel- I dunno, Charlotte? She knows a lot about skincare and diets?

Yeah, we're a bit past skincare- look, I told Weiss to go find Paramia, go help him? Coyote skidded into the meeting room to find the light on down the hall in the throne room. He turned the corner to find a tall figure walking towards there as well.

"Ulquiorra's back with the girl Lord Aizen wanted." Hallibel muttered through her mask and high collar. "...Humans aren't supposed to be gray, right?" She frowned down at Tousen.

"No they're not!" Coyote grinned up at her. "Please tell me I've slept through a staff meeting and that we've got an actual doctor, not just a mad scientist and a stitch witch?"

"Oh? What seems to be the matter with- oh. That's. Bad." Szaylelapporo oozed over, then grimaced at the man. "Well, get him on the table, I'll see what I can do-"

"Not you! A REAL Doctor!" Coyote spat, jerking away from him.

"EXCUSE ME?" The mad scientist squawked, aghast.

"Welcome, Miss Inoue-" Aizen's voice rippled down the hall from the throne room. Tousen whimpered, curling into Coyote's chest, shaking. Fuck, if Aizen locked him in that cell of a room, he could have poisoned him too-

"-to my kingdom of- What the hell are you wearing?" Aizen sputtered.

"Yes!" an unfamiliar voice replied.

"Oh, come on, how often do we get a chance to dissect- I mean- surgically assist a Shinigami?" Szaylel pouted, reaching for the shivering man.

---

"Mr. Cifer didn't give me a lot of details about the conditions here, so I tried to prepare for every eventuality I could!" Chirped the small mountain of clothes and camping gear that apparently contained Orihime Inoue.

"I- well. If one cannot be forewarned, one should be forearmed, I suppose..." Aizen muttered, thrown completely off script. "But as I was saying, please allow me to extend the full hospitality of Las-"

There was a brief flicker of bright light and sharp withdrawal of reiatsu in the hall behind him.

"That better not be a cero-" Aizen frowned.

BLAM!

"My dick!" Wailed Szaylel from some distance away, having been blown through several walls as well as castrated.

"Quitcher bitchin', it'll grow back!" Snarled Coyote.

Aizen closed his eyes, rubbing his temples with his middle and ring fingers, struggling to maintain some composure. "What are you doing Mr. Starrk?" He snarled, turning on his heel to confront the First Espada and instead walking face-first into the spectacular underboob cleavage of the Third.

"Are you the Kurosaki kid's medic?" Hallibel called, unperturbed by the fact she was lightly smothering her commander.

"Uhh... I mean I'm trained in first aid and I'm pretty good at healing?" Miss Inoue muttered as Aizen extracted himself from Hallibel's bosom.

"What the hell is going on?" Aizen hissed up at her.

"Great! Lord Tousen's dying." Hallibel explained to Miss Inoue, before looking down at Aizen. "Also, Lord Tousen's dying." She said pointing down the smoking hall where Starrk was emerging with a weak and pallid Tousen in his arms.

"Oh, come on Kaname, pull yourself togeth- oh." Aizen recoiled at the sight of his compatriot, and the way his spine had bled all down the front of Starrk's uniform. "Miss Inoue? Your skills are requi-" He spoke up only for the girl to brush past him without so much as a sideways glance, shed of her excess garmentry.

"Mr. Tousen?" She asked, eyes wide and already on the verge of tears. "Can you hear me?"

"I-Inoue?" he groaned, turning his ear towards her. "Where? Where's Sajin..?"

"He's fine, but you're not. Can you tell me what's wrong?" She said, taking his wrist and touching his face.

"S-stomachache. Started... I- I don't know. Can't sleep." he mumbled, head dropping back onto Coyote's chest.

"He- he also threw up, his whole back is bleedin' and he keeps apologizing to this Sajin guy?" Coyote added.

"When was the last time you ate or drank anything?" She said, pinching the skin on the back of his hand and grimacing.

"I- I don't know. Not for a while. Not... not worth it." he muttered, listless.

"Is the stomachache concentrated anywhere? and is it more like nausea or pain?" She asked.

"P-pain. Very painful." He hissed. "It's- lower right side."

Miss Inoue inhaled slowly, jaw set. "Is it better or worse if you put pressure on it?"

"Hurts- hurts if I take pressure off it?" He whimpered. "I- I can't- Where's Sajin? He, he was just here-"

"Well, Miss Inoue?" Aizen asked, strolling up and putting a hand on her shoulder. "Care to prove your worth?"

The girl was completely still and silent for a moment. Fear? Or some sort of delayed reaction? Aizen watched her for a moment, the girl's face expressionless.

"I need a sterile room, surgical equipment- scalpels, sponges, gloves sutures, the works- and the means to sanitize it, and at least two people to hold him still." she said, voice flat.

"Surgical equipment?" Aizen scoffed. "You misunderstand- I want to see what the Shun Shun Rikka is capable of."

"It's capable of restoring a hell of a lot when it comes to traumatic injury and blood loss but it doesn't work on infections or organ failure, so if you want Mr. Tousen to live through the night, you'll have to settle for my capacity as Surgeon." She said, voice quiet and clipped. "Sterile room, Surgical equipment, sanitary gear, assistants, please, before his condition gets worse."

"...What condition?" Aizen puzzled, and she sighed with exasperation.

"You! White hair and horn! Find me a room that is or can be rendered sterile!" She barked, pointing over Coyote's shoulder.

"What? Who died and made you queen?" Lilynette yelped.

"DO IT!" Coyote barked.

"Fuck! Okay!" She flinched. "There's- uh, Paramia's office. She's got most of the stuff you were yelling about. I think."

"Good. Mr. Starrk, right? Do you know where that is?" She said, gray eyes snapping up to the Primera Espada's own, and he actually startled a bit.

"Uh- yes, and yes?" he muttered, arching his neck away from her.

"Take Mr. Tousen there ASAP, get him on a bed and if there's any means of restraining him, I need him lying on his left side, everything on his right side from his hip-bone to the middle of his ribcage exposed. Understand?" She said, gesturing to Tousen's side.

"Uh, yeah, Yes, I'll go-" Stark muttered, backing up a few steps and vanishing in a burst of Sondido.

"Maybe I didn't make myself cle-" Aizen started with Orihime spun out of his grip and turned to face the rest of the throne room.

"Mr. Cifer! I presume you know where the kitchens are! I need drinkable water, any electrolyte beverages you have or failing that, anything with a decent amount of salt in it, and anything with caffeine."

"I don't take orders from you." he growled.

Miss Inoue stopped from where she'd been turning to Hallibel and glared back at Ulqiorra. "You said that if I followed you through that portal, I'd be joining Aizen's cause, body and soul."

"What?" Aizen mouthed at Ulquiorra behind her.

"Yes? And?" Ulquiorra agreed, glaring back.

"Mr. Aizen, may I then act in an emergency capacity under your authority for the purposes of keeping a member of this organization alive?" She asked, rounding on him.

What had been sad, soft gray eyes in Ulquiorra's recollection of events had darkened into the color of an oncoming stormed and sharpened around the edges in a way that reminded Aizen uncomfortably of how Unohana's disapproval could feel like a knife at his throat.

"...You have hidden depths, Miss Inoue." he smirked, pretending to be at ease if he couldn't pretend to be in control. "-And since you're being such a good team player, I will happily grant you temporary authority to see to Kaname's welfare."

"Thank you sir." She bowed her head. "Cifer! Kitchen!"

Ulquiorra sputtered for a moment and then skulked off.

"...This good favor of mine is entirely dependent on Kaname's survival and recovery, of course." He said, leaning down into her personal space, lips almost at her ear.

"Of course, Mr. Aizen. I would consider failure to save Mr. Tousen just cause for suicide as it is." she said, and then failed to elaborate as she turned to Hallibel. "Ma'am with the blonde hair! What's your name?"

"...Hallibel." She said, slowly cocking her head at the girl

"Thank you Miss Hallibel." Inoue bowed. "Do you have a good grip, and can you stand the sight of blood?"

"...Yes?" Hallibel puzzled.

"Please escort me to Mr. Starrk, I'll need your help." Inoue asked, pointing down the smoking hallway.

"Miss Inoue, what cond-" Aizen started to ask again, but the girl was gone in a blur as Hallibel promptly carried out her orders and followed Starrk's sondido with her own. "-ition are you talking about?"

"Fever? Vomiting? Severe pain in lower right abdomen? C'mon boss, even you know what's up!" Laughed Gin.

---

"So... have you ever done a surgery before?" Hallibel asked when they stopped at the door in front of Paramia's room.

"Ugh-" Orihime staggered for a moment, disoriented. "What? Oh, no- I've seen this one done before. Well, a video of it." She winced.

"Oh." Hallibel muttered. "Well. I've never seen a video of anything, so I guess you're qualified." She shrugged, opening the door.

"Miss Inoue?" a soft voice asked inside. "I'm Roka Paramia, I act as Medic here." She was a small, almost human-looking hollow with half her face covered by a humanlike skull, almost like the phantom of the opera. She also wore a green, cable-knit sweater, which was strange because it had to be at least eighty degrees in here.

"Oh thank god!" Sighed Orihime. "Have you ever done surgery before?"

"No!" Smiled Paramia. "I look forward to learning the process."

"Cool, I'm promoting you to Assistant Surgeon. Can you get the relevant tools out and sanitized?" Orihime nodded.

"I have already done so, as well as secured Lord Tousen to the operating table!" Paramia smiled, gesturing inside to where the shinigami had been strapped down to the stainless steel table. A small, childlike hollow curled up and whimpering beside him. Behind them, Starrk and Lilynette were standing awkwardly, unsure of what to do. There was a quiet sob from the table, and Orihime stepped into the room.

"Hey- I met you down at the river yesterday! Weiss, right?" Orihime asked, touching the boy's shoulder. He looked up at her, large purple eyes blinking slowly in recognition.

"Ohhimay?" he tried.

"That's right! I'm Orihime!" She smiled, patting his head.

"Augh!" Weiss sobbed, grabbing her shoulder and pointing to Tousen.

"OW! Easy, I'm not very strong- Thanks." She winced and Weiss relaxed his grip. "It'll be okay, I promise. I'm going to make Mr. Tousen better, but it's going to really, really suck for a bit but then he'll be all better, I promise!" She soothed, brushing a thick lock of blonde hair away from his face.

Weiss mumbled, looking between her and tousen for a moment.

"It's okay Weiss. I'll be alright." Tousen spoke up, voice little more than whimper. "Can you go guard the hall for me?"

"...kay." Weiss mumbled, shuffling off the table and out the door, crouching beside it, still peering back into the room.

"Thank you. And I'm really sorry for what's about to happen." Orihime bowed, hands holding Tousen's. He grimaced, but nodded and squeezed her hand in acknowledgement.

Orihime looked back at Paramia."What do you have by way of painkillers?"

"Oh, we don't believe in those here!" Paramia smiled.

Orihime blinked at her a few times, and decided to think laterally. "...What do you have in terms of alcoholic beverages or other recreational drugs here?"

"Oh! There's Tequila in the commissary!" Paramia nodded with excitement.

"Nnoitra's got Ketamine." Said Hallibel.

"He has WHAT?" Yelped Starrk.

"Ketamine. Yylfordt snitches it out of Szaylel's lab and they get high on the roof when Aizen's away." Hallibel shrugged.

"Ketamine would be very helpful, actually!" Orihime chirped, slightly manic. "Alright, Miss Lilynette? Go help Ulquiorra in the kitchen-"

"UUUUUGH." Groaned Lilynette.

"I know, he's a jerk." Orihime waved. "But he's also stupid, and probably forgot what I sent him for already."

Lilynette snorted with laughter and Orihime smirked. "I'll write you a list, make sure he comes back with everything, okay?"

"Yeah, I can babysit batboy." Lilynette giggled.

"Miss Hallibel? Do you think you can persuade... I'm sorry, I didn't catch their names-" Orihime waved.

"Yeah I can shake down Nnoitra for his stash." Hallibel nodded.

"Great! You both go do that and come back ASAP while we scrub up?" Orihime asked, giving them each a thumbs up, and the responded in kind before vanishing out the door.

"I must say, I'm very impressed with your capability for organization and command!" Paramia beamed as the two medics washed up and Coyote tried to figure out the best way to keep Tousen pinned to the table. "There was some discussion between Lord Aizen and Lord Ichimaru of abducting someone from soul society to fill in the role of chief medic, but I think you're the superior option so far."

"...Who were they going to take from Soul Society?" Orihime frowned.

"Oh... I can't remember her name. Lady Usagi or something?"

"LADY UNOHANA??" Orihime shouted.

"Yes! Lord Ichimaru suggested that abducting Lady Unohana would be more tactically sound, but Aizen dismissed the idea rather quickly- I'm sorry, have I said something humorous?" Paramia asked as Orihime crumpled to the floor laughing, and there was an amused wheeze from Tousen.

"We'd all be better off if Aizen had attempted to abduct Lady Unohana." Tousen laughed darkly.

"Yeah!" Orihime didn't so much grin as bare her teeth at the absurdity of her circumstances. "She would have reduced them both to bright red streaks on the wall and I wouldn't be here doing an unanesthetized appendectomy at one in the goddamn morning!"

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

Probably should've posted this earlier but whatever I'm thinking of it now

(Pyro was, as far as I can tell, not wearing a costume in this comic and as such they have been omitted)

[ID: A collage of eight of the tf2 mercs, minus Pyro, and Miss Pauling as they appear in the comic Gargoyles and Gravel, each wearing the costumes described above. Scout is in a chicken suit with a red vest, Soldier is a robot made of cardboard, Demo is a werewolf, Heavy is Frankenstein's monster with stitching on his arms and head and bolts on his neck, Engie is a fly in a black turtleneck sweater with wings on the back, Medic is a mad scientist in a bow tie and a puffy white wig, Sniper is a vampire hunter with wooden stakes strapped to his vest, Spy is the Invisible Man with bandages wrapped around his head, and Pauling is wearing a purple trench coat, a green blouse, a black tie, and a Ghastly Gibus. End ID]

[rowrowronnie]

now why tf did i get a tf2 hyperfixation from emesis poop bro

[parisoonic]

two hugs; years apart. (or a monday and a friday.)