#means I really feel like…safe in the f-slur

[unsafe-chikku]

Sometimes when I’m with the group of friends I feel very safe and comfortable with here, I also forget I’m with mostly cishet folks too.

So sometimes I’ll describe myself as a faggot and it’ll surprise them so much they’ll keel over laughing lol

[kakujis]

he's so mean!

warnings: afab!reader, overstimulation, dacryphilia, degradation, marking (baji), spanking (kaku), choking (chifuyu), jealousy (chifuyu), pet names (baby, kitten), reader wears makeup. i think that's it LOL if i missed any lmk!!!

ft: baji, kakucho, chifuyu, each drabble is around 500-600ish words.

member of: @enchantedforest-network 💕

a/n: this is just pure indulgent filth <3. after seeing the tokrev trailer for s3 i got excited n picked this back up LOL. special thanks to nie for proofreading ilysm

baji:

“aww, is it too much baby?” he coos, your legs thrown up over his shoulders as he presses your knees down as far as they’ll go. 

you whimper and nod, your streaky tears running gray with mascara. hiccuping, you slur, “s’too much, n-no more,” but suddenly you’re crying out as baji slams back into you. 

“i don’t really care,” he gleams, fangs flashing at you as he starts up again. he revels in the sound of your choked sobs and the way you thrash underneath him. besides, baji knows when it’s really too much you’ll use your safe word. 

you squeal when he angles himself to fuck you even deeper, mushroom tip kissing your sweet spot with each thrust. “f-fuck,” you sob, “fuck!” of course you’re close, baji knows exactly what you want and how to give it to you. 

the obscenities continue to fall off your tongue as you babble, drool, and cry but baji loves it, dipping down to lick your tears up. it’s when he sinks his teeth into your neck that you mewl, “kei, ‘m cumming!” writhing underneath him as he relentlessly fucks you through it, head thrown back as your mind goes hazy. 

“i know, baby, i know,” he coos, feeling the way your pussy twitches on him, making sure to tilt your chin down so he can see your pretty eyes roll back. “feels fucking good, huh?” 

you don’t answer, instead whimpering and nodding as your overstimulated pussy continues to twitch. you’re sure if he keeps this up, you’ll pass out. but you know when he slows his hips, you’re nowhere near done. 

“kitten,” he sings, tapping your face as your lids flutter, “don’t pass out on me yet. i’m not done with you.” 

he’s borderline obsessed with how fucked out you look when he pushes you through orgasms. he especially loves how you look afterwards, with spit slicked lips and littered in marks. he knows you can keep going, no he’ll make you keep going, consumed by the way you squeal as you cream around his cock.

you sob, “no more, it’s too much.” you try to push back on him, but baji’s stronger than you, his grip on the back of your knees never faltering as you try to squirm and kick. 

he barks out another laugh, “i already told you, i don’t fuckin’ care. you can give me another one.” 

“i can’t!” you wail, but he presses on, starting to move again. “kei, fuck!” 

“yes you can,” he growls, nipping at your ear, “and you will.” 

kakucho:

“this is what you wanted right?” kakucho growls, but you can’t even answer, cheek squished into your tear and spit ridden pillow as he hammers into you from behind. it is what you wanted, its what you asked for, begged for. for kakucho to finally stop treating you like some fragile doll and fuck you properly. 

meekly you try to nod, sniffling as you peek one puffy eye up at him, your hands held behind your back. sweat glistens on his forehead, brows knit in annoyance. 

“then take it.” he hisses, using one hand to smack your ass, and you yelp at the sting, squirming underneath him. “didn’t realize i was dating such a fucking slut.” 

you moan at the insult and he laughs, case in point. soon, his hand is coming down again, making you squeal, red angry prints on your tender flesh. he thinks you’ll ask him to stop, but instead you’re mewling out “more, please, more,” teary eyes trained on his hand. 

his interest is piqued, evident by the way he brings his hand down again to hear another pretty moan. he barks out a laugh, when you demand it again. 

“i don’t think so,” he grunts, before pushing your face down further into your pillow. “did you forget that toys don’t get a say?” he brings your hips up farther and all you can think about is just how deep he is. 

your thighs tremble as he starts pounding into you again, treating you like his own fleshlight. he’s brought you so far up, your feet are starting to dangle off the bed. 

there’s a wet patch underneath you as you drip down onto the sheets below. but god, he’s so fucking mean and feels so good that you just can’t care. your mind’s so hazy you forget that you’re not supposed to beg, what you’re begging for you don’t even know. 

“alright,” he snaps, dropping you before looming over and caging you in with his body. he shoves his fingers into your mouth, using the other hand to force you to look up at him. “let me help you out since you’re too stupid to listen.” 

your eyes start to leak again and he can’t lie, you look so fucking cute crying and drooling on his fingers. you grip the sheets as he starts to fuck you again, the pace brutal and unrelenting. he doesn’t let you look away either, staring down at you, no, consuming you with each thrust. 

he knows you’re close when your breaths get more scattered and your eyes start rolling back. just a few more thrusts and you’re coming undone, thrashing as much as you can underneath him. frantically, you push against him, whimpering when you start to get overstimulated, but he doesn’t let up, instead pressing a kiss to your sweaty forehead. 

“you’re still not there yet,” he sighs, thinking he could really get used to you crying on his cock. “don’t worry, baby, you’ve got all night to get it right.” 

chifuyu:

“f-fuyu?” you question with bleary eyes, but he doesn’t respond, jaw tensed as he continues to fuck you into another orgasm. “i can’t! no more, please,” you slur, but he ignores you, nails digging into your hips. 

you didn’t mean to push him so hard, but when takemichi told you he once saw chifuyu hold a broken shard of glass up to kisaki, snarling and ready to strike, you were a little curious. chifuyu had only been nice to you, sweet and gentle, especially when the two of you made love. but you’ve always been a little curious, what if he was just a tad bit meaner, a little more rough? 

so you thought making him a little jealous would do the trick, and it did. you’d never done it before, but the way he bristled up seeing you giggle and paw at kazutora was enough for him, even if they were best friends. 

it must’ve been hours since chifuyu got you home, pinning you against the counter as he grinded into you from behind before bending you over and ripping your underwear off. you didn’t realize just how jealous of a person he was until now, legs dripping down cum and arousal. 

“you think kazutora can fuck you like this?” he growls and you quickly shake your head, mumbling out quick apologies. but it’s so hard to focus when chifuyu’s fucking you so well, pretty little moans coming out of your mouth. 

“don’t fucking lie to me,” he hisses, pulling back on your hair. you arch up into him, desperately holding onto the edges of the counter you’re pressed up against. the hand that was gripping onto your hair finds it’s way around your neck, as chifuyu continues to rut into you. 

you look up at him with puffy, teary eyes, “‘m sorry, f-fuck, ‘m sorry,” you pant, but he merely cocks his head to the side. “fuyu, ‘m sorry.” 

“not gonna fuckin’ cut it this time,” he punctuates his sentence with a particularly harsh thrust which makes you gasp as your eyes roll back. “i’m gonna ruin you, got it? you belong to me.” 

you try to respond, but the hand on your neck squeezes and your words die on your tongue. little black dots invade your vision, but before you fully pass out, he lets go. opting to wrap his arm around your neck. 

“can’t talk now?” he murmurs, forcing you to look at him as he continues to slide in and out of your dripping hole. “and you were so fucking sorry  earlier, huh? lying to me again?” 

“‘m sorry! ‘m sorry!” starts to tumble off your tongue again, as you vigorously shake your head. but chifuyu can’t hear you, drowning in his own jealousy and the feel of your warm, clenching pussy. 

he growls in your ear one more time, "if you're really sorry, let me see you squirt on this dick."

[mushies-stories]

Drinking- how TF141 handles a clingy drunk reader for the first time

PART ONE- Price and Soap

PART TWO- Ghost and Gaz

F!Reader

Warnings: drunk reader, little tiny bit suggestive... think that's it?

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

Kyle had gotten off work a bit early, the mission going faster than expected but just as tiring. The only thing on his mind was seeing you, he needed to feel your soft body against his.

He called you from his car, figuring it was early enough and you'd still be awake. He was correct, but when you answered the phone you didn't sound like your usual self. Your words are slow and a little slurred. “Baby, ya okay?” he asks.

You hum a response. “M’okay, just been drinking a little.” you tell him. 

“Sounds like it, you alone at home love?” he asks, a little nervous. It wasn't like you to get drunk by yourself, or really that often at all actually.

“Yeah… but could you come over, please.” your voice was a little shaky and it twisted something in Kyle's gut. 

“Of course lovie. Be there in just a bit, eh?” he tells you. His drive was faster than normal, you sounded off and it worried him. His only thought was to get to you and the elevator ride up to your flat seemed endless. 

When you entered he saw you sitting on the couch, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, glass of red wine and an almost empty bottle next to it. 

Your head turned when you heard his steps and the sound of his shoes being kicked off. “Kyle.” you say quietly. Standing you shed the blanket and take a few shaky steps towards him. 

He rushed to meet you, wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you against himself. Your own arms wrap around his middle, gripping the back of his shirt. “What's wrong love, why ya crying?” he asks, voice tender and soft. His warm eyes looking over your tear stained cheeks before wiping a tear away. 

You give him a small shrug. “I'm just so tired, and work was stressful. I just wanted to relax a little and I knew you are normally at the base late...” you admit. 

Kyle hums softly before kissing the top of your head. “Well, drinking is no way to feel better, right lovie?” he asks, making sure you look at him by guiding your face to look at his. “Next time, just let me know, be over as soon as i can.” he tells you. 

You give him a small smile. “I will, I'm sorry I know I was overreacting.”

“None of that love, let's just get ya to bed.” he says with a sweet smile. You lean into his touch and nod. 

He figured after such a stressful day you should take a hot bath. Topped with some essential oils he found it was ready. You both relax in the warm water. Kyle behind you so you can rest your head on his chest. 

“Thank you kyle.” you mumble. Eyes closed and soldering his arms around you, you sigh constantly. “I love you.” you add, a little slower and sleepier. 

Kyle smiles down at you. Perfectly content in his arms, just as he wanted. Here to keep you safe and happy. “Anything for your lovie, I love ya too.” he says. Just above a whisper, the last coherent words you heard before drifting off. 

When you had dozed off Kyle gathered your body in his arms and brought you to bed then wrapped you in a fluffy towel. The whole time you barely even stirred in your sleep. He crawled in next to you and wrapped you in his arms once again, this time pulling your head to his chest, arm holding you back so your firm against him. 

He kisses your nose. “Goodnight love.” he says. That night you both slept soundly. Kyle happily content with your bare body against his own.

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley

Simon had called after getting back from a long mission, wanting to see you instead of going home alone. All he needed at the moment was your arms wrapped around him. 

To his delight you had picked up, even in the late hour. To his disappointment however, it sounded like you were out with friends.

That didn't seem to mean much to you. Judging by your excited time when you answered. “Si? You home already?” you ask, smile evident in your tone. 

He smiles to himself. “Yeah, sound busy though doll, see ya tomorrow?” he offers. 

You make a sound of displeasure. “But I gotta see you tonight Si, please? I'll get an uber right now!” Simon just chuckles and tells you to stay put, he will come and get you. 

Not even twenty minutes later and you're in his passenger seat with his hand on your bare thigh and a drunkenly sweet smile plastered across your face. You loved admiring Simon, even with most of his face concealed. Everything about him made you drawn to him. 

“See something ya like love?” Simon chuckles and glances over to you. His hand on your thigh squeezes the soft skin.

You nod and giggle. “Always see something I like around you, Si.” 

He snorts before paying attention to the road, eyes focus on getting home. You babbled about your night with your friends and he nodded along, humming in response when he needed to agree with you, all the while his hand rests on your warm plush thigh and a small smile plays at his lips. 

You were adorable. The way you stared at him the whole time like he was the moon, the way your hands laid atop his and gripped it when you talked. 

He loved the attention. From you, and only you that is. Loved that you just wanted to see him, needed too. 

When you got back to his place, he carried you in. insisting that the stairs were too much for you and it would be faster. “S’alright love, just let me bring you up. Be much faster.” he explained.

The whole way you kissed at his neck, making sure to lift his mask enough so you could pepper them to his jawline. “Lovie, none of tha. S’to late and you.” he glanced down at you and your blushing cheeks, warm from the alcohol. “Are much too hammered.” he chuckles, stepping into his flat before closing and locking the door. 

“But Si… I missed you so much, you were gone for a whole week.” you pout softly up at him after he set you down on his bed.

One of his hands comes out to cradle the side of your head, making you look up at him and hold his gaze. “Don't worry lovie, when your pretty little head is pounding tomorrow, I'll make sure to do everything I can to help you forget about it.” he promises. 

I shiver rolls down your back and you smile dumbly up at him, the thought of what to come already turning the little gears in your head. Simon however forces you to push the thoughts aside and get ready for bed instead.

With you in only his shirt, his mask set aside and his protective arm wrapped securely around your middle, you start to drift off. “Love you Simon, can't wait for tomorrow.” 

Simon kisses the side of your head. “Love you too doll, can't wait.”

[agoodroughandtumble]

Can You Be Good For Me? - Zoro x F!Reader Oneshot

Status: Complete

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x F!Reader

Summary: Drunken confessions

Warning(s): 18+ Language, alcohol

“Can you be good for me?” The words sloshed in your mouth just like the sake that had caused them to slur out. Half-lidded eyes searched Zoro’s, too drunk to care about the implications of the meaning but too sober to allow him to brush it off.

Zoro’s eyebrows furrowed, “I’m always good to you.”

You rolled your eyes and took another drink. That wasn’t what you were saying and he should know that. A frustrated groan left your lips. “You know what I mean.”

His look of confusion slowly melted into one of amused affection. It was obvious you were at least tipsy which usually meant this was one of the few times you not only acknowledged emotions but actively sought to discuss them. Perhaps some other man would be annoyed at the slightly inebriated confrontation and the fact you could never really day what was on your mind without the inhibition breaking alcohol. But Zoro welcomed it. He knew you well enough to know that this wasn’t malicious – keeping your guard up and youe emotions at bay had kept you safe. Allowing yourself to drop your guard, allowing yourself to be vulnerable only told him how much you trusted him, how much you trusted him to be your safeguard.

He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you closer to him, thigh touching thigh. And although you were still annoyed at his lack of a solid answer you were quietly relishing in the close proximity and physical contact. You mentally stopped yourself. That was the entire problem. You were becoming far too comfortable and far too physically reliant on someone who your drunken state of mind would describe as having the emotional capacity of a brick. Maybe that was being too harsh, or maybe Zoro had been fucking you for a month without ever venturing further than “I like you, you know I do.”

the first two weeks had been fine. Just sex. Just really fucking good sex. Just scratching an itch and indulging the obvious tension between the pair of you. And then your stupid heart had to get involved. All of a sudden you were craving his attention, desperate to be near him, to understand him on na level no one else could. You got jealous and needy and fantasised about all of the things he could, should say to you. You were fucked.

So of course you had done what any sane person would have done – ignored, repressed, kept fucking him even though every time broke your heart but fuck the way he looked at you in those moments. The way his hands clung onto your hips, your waist, your thighs as he came inside you. The way he whispered into your ear, telling you to let go, he’s got you, just show me, as you came completely undone around him. The fucking eye contact, the fucking moans because you were so clearly made for his cock, and his alone. You let yourself endure the heartbreak. You let yourself fall completely in love with him if it meant those stolen, secret moments could last forever.

But, as there was always a but, the alcohol in your system was giving you a rare sense of confidence and you wriggled out of his grasp slightly – albeit not enough that your thigh no longer touched his – you would allow yourself that much. “You didn’t answer my question.”

Zoro wasn’t entirely sure what you getting at, “I said I’m always good to you.”

You let out a loud sigh, “Yes, but are you good for me?”

His hand cupped your jaw, feeling you automatically tense against his touch. His heart hurt at your reaction, even more so because he didn’t know what he’d done wrong. God, he fucking loved you but you weren’t half infuriating sometimes. “Y/N,” his voice softened as he tried to soothe the tension by caressing your jaw with his thumb, “Stop being cryptic and just tell me what’s wrong.”

You gulped. Selfishly you had been hoping Zoro would be annoyed. That he’d accuse you of being too drunk, too emotional, too hard to deal with and you’d talk about it tomorrow. You could deal with that. Arguing and confrontation would be a hell of a lot easier to deal with than actually saying what you meant – admitting it out loud, making all of the thoughts and feelings real. You could take anything over that. You could handle his rejection if it was because you were being an argumentative arsehole. You couldn’t handle the rejection if it was because he just didn’t love you back.

You bit your lip, the confidence the sake had given you long gone. If it wasn’t for his hand burning against your skin you would have run away but fuck when we was looking at you so fucking earnestly how could you say anything but the truth. “I want you to be good for me not to me because,” you screwed your eyes shut but delaying the inevitable was nigh on impossible, “Because I love you. I’m in love with you, Zoro.”

A pause. An agonizingly long, heart-breaking, soul-crushing pause. You clenched your fists trying to mentally prepare yourself for the “gentle” let down. And then … Zoro laughed. Laughed.

You jerked away from him. A rejection was expected but laughing at you was just fucking cruel. You felt sick. How had you let yourself be to stupid? How had you allowed yourself to fall in love with someone so heartless? You were such an idiot. You stood up to walk away but Zoro grabbed your wrist. Tears threatened to spill. What more could he want now? How much did he honestly want to humiliate you?

“Where are you going?” His voice sounded sincere but you weren’t blind to it any more.

“Away. Where do you think?”

Zoro pulled you back and infuriatingly you stumbled into him. His arms found your waist again to steady you. “You can’t say that and run away. Not to me.”

You wanted to hit him or the table or yourself, anything to get rid of even the smallest fraction of your anger. “You laughed, Zoro. You laughed at me so, and I mean this nicely – go fuck yourself.”

“Hey! Hey…” the hand on your waist started rubbing circles along your spine. Despite yourself the sensation was managing to calm you down. “You’re being an idiot and-”

You tensed again, “So I’m a joke and an idiot? Thanks.”

Zoro sighed and used his other hand to brush your hair behind your ear. “You’re not a joke.” His hand moved down to linger against your neck. “But you are an idiot if you think I laughed at you. I laughed at the ridiculousness of this situation.”

Against your better judgement you relaxed against him, knowing full well you were going to regret this in the morning.

“Y/N, look at me. I laughed because it’s …” he sighed and leant forward to press his forehead against yours, “It’s a cosmic fucking joke that everyone else can see how much I fucking love you except you.”

Another pause. Only this time the onus was on you. “Oh.”

Zoro’s eyebrows raised in amusement, “Oh? At least laughing is more than one syllable.”

A blush rushed across your cheeks and you pressed your lips together to keep from smiling too widely. “Maybe we should forget talking for now, lest it leads to any other misunderstandings.” With that you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him. And didn’t stop kissing him.

[httpvomitello]

Hello~! I live your writing. Can I request a one shot with an older Leo x F!Reader (I was thinking bayverse but any era could fit) inspired by the ross and Rachel scene from friends where reader gets drunk and confesses to Leo through voicemail?

Hello, hello! I think I forgot to mention that the turtles and the reader are age-up. So, no need to worry! I hope you like it ♡♡♡♡

The lair was dark, save for the faint blue glow of the aquarium in Donnie’s lab. The day had been long, and Leo was exhausted, but as leader, his mind never fully rested. He paced around the dojo, replaying the events of the last few days, thinking about patrols, missions, his brothers, and you.

You had been a constant in his life for years now. Your friendship with the turtles, especially with him, had grown stronger over time, to the point where he couldn’t imagine a world without you in it. But lately, Leo had found himself thinking about you more than just a friend. It was driving him crazy, the way his heart sped up when you were near, or how he caught himself smiling like a fool when you laughed. But he couldn’t act on it... shouldn’t act on it.

After all, he wasn’t exactly a normal guy. He wasn’t even human. And you? You were beautiful, brilliant, and entirely out of his reach.

His thoughts were interrupted by the vibration of his phone. He rarely used it, but it was a direct line for you and his brothers to reach him when needed. Pulling it from his belt, he saw your name flash on the screen. It was well past midnight.

Frowning, Leo answered. “(Y/N)? Everything okay?”

No answer, just a loud beep indicating he had a voicemail. He hadn’t even heard the phone ring. Maybe it was a mistake?

Confused, he dialed into his voicemail, listening as it started to play.

“Uh... hey, Leo. It’s me. (Y/N).”

Your voice sounded off, a little slurred, and Leo’s heart clenched. You were drunk. That in itself wasn’t alarming, but you didn’t usually drink like this unless something was bothering you.

“I don’t even know if you’re gonna listen to this, but I... I just... I need to say this. Or maybe I don’t. I don’t know. But, here I am!”

Leo chuckled despite himself, sitting down on one of the mats, already feeling anxious about where this was going.

“Okay, okay, so here’s the thing. I’ve liked you for soooo fucking long, Leo. Like, really liked you. And I know it’s stupid. I know you’re... you’re a fucking sexy turtle and I’m... well, I’m me. But every time I see you, I get these butterflies, and I think, ‘Why can’t I just be normal and tell him?’ But I never do because... because I’m scared.”

Leo froze, his heart hammering in his chest. He could hear your soft hiccups through the message, and it tore him apart.

“I’m scared you’ll think I’m dumb, or that you won’t feel the same way. And I can’t lose you, Leo. You’re my best friend. But God, I just... I need you to know that I think about you all the time. When we hang out, when we’re at the rooftop watching the stars, when we’re just... talking. You make me feel safe, and I don’t even know how to deal with that.”

You paused, and Leo could hear the faint clinking of a glass being set down on what he assumed was a table.

“I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. It’s probably the alcohol. Stupid liquid courage. I mean, you’re probably never even gonna hear this. Maybe I’ll delete it in the morning or something...”

There was a soft laugh, tinged with sadness. “But in case you do hear it... I’m in love with you, Leo. I’ve been in love with you for a long time. And it’s fine if you don’t feel the same way. Really. But I just... I needed to say it.”

Another pause, longer this time, and then: “Okay. Uh, I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one night. Goodnight, bab... Leo!”

The message ended with a click, leaving Leo sitting in stunned silence, your words replaying over and over in his mind.

In love with him?

His heart raced as the reality sank in. You were in love with him, and you’d been carrying this weight alone, scared of ruining your friendship. The same fear he had been wrestling with for months.

Suddenly, Leo felt an overwhelming need to see you, to tell you that he felt the same, that you weren’t alone in this. But he hesitated. You were drunk, and it wouldn’t be right to have that conversation when you weren’t fully yourself. You deserved better than that.

For now, all he could do was wait until morning.

The next day came far too slowly for Leo’s liking. He kept himself busy training, hoping to distract himself from the growing tension inside him. His brothers noticed his quiet demeanor, but they didn’t press him for answers.

Around noon, his phone buzzed again. It was you.

He stared at your name for a long moment, anxiety creeping in. Were you calling to apologize for the voicemail? Pretend it didn’t happen? What if you had already deleted it, thinking he hadn’t heard it? There was no way he was going to let you brush it off like that.

With a deep breath, he answered. “Hey, (Y/N).”

“Leo.” Your voice sounded... off. Less cheery than usual. “So, uh... did you get my voicemail?”

There it was.

Leo swallowed. “Yeah. I did.”

“Oh God,” you muttered, clearly embarrassed. “I was really drunk, and I just—I shouldn’t have—”

“Don’t.” His voice came out sharper than he intended. “Don’t apologize.”

You fell silent on the other end, and Leo took the opportunity to speak before he lost his nerve.

“I’m glad you told me. I wish you hadn’t been drunk when you did, but I’m glad you were honest with me.”

You let out a shaky breath. “Leo, I—”

“I need you to know something,” he cut you off gently. “I’ve been feeling the same way. For a long time.”

“What?”

“I’ve been in love with you too, (Y/N).” The words came out quietly, but they carried so much weight. “I’ve just... never known how to tell you.”

There was a beat of stunned silence, and Leo could almost hear the gears turning in your head as you processed his words.

“You... love me?” Your voice was barely a whisper.

“Yeah,” he admitted softly. “I do.”

“I thought you... I mean, you never gave any signs...”

Leo laughed softly. “Trust me, I’ve tried to hide it. I didn’t want to make things awkward between us.”

You let out a breathy laugh, clearly in disbelief. “Oh my God. I thought I was the only one.”

“You weren’t,” Leo said, his voice softening. “But I didn’t want to put that pressure on you. I didn’t think it was fair. But now that it’s out in the open... I don’t want to pretend anymore.”

“What do we do now?” you asked, your voice uncertain but filled with hope.

“I guess... we take it one step at a time,” Leo said. “No more hiding. No more pretending.”

You were quiet for a moment before you finally spoke. “I can do that. I want to do that.”

Leo smiled, relief flooding through him. “Then it’s a start.”

It wasn’t going to be easy, nothing about his life ever was, but for the first time in a long while, Leo felt like he was heading in the right direction.

[aroaceleovaldez]

Hello, if you still have Nico di Angelo thoughts, I have a curiosity. How likely do you think it would be for Nico to express some of that internalized homophobia (that he got over way too quickly imo) towards others too?

Not violent homophobia, but little comments that make others go "huh, something about what you said feels off"

Nico doesn't mean harm by them, but he has views that are accurate to the time he was born and raised and I don't think there've been many opportunities for those views to be challenged enough for them to change (at least from what we've seen in canon, TSATS dni)

(Of course I know this is a sensitive topic so if you're uncomfortable with it feel free to ignore the ask)

I actually do have a very specific thought about this! Thank you for asking - So my take on it is I don't think Nico would have his internalized homophobia externalize at others - he's a very tolerant character in general and it's implied Maria generally raised him to be very tolerant. I think the majority of his internalized homophobia manifests mostly as a subset of his self-loathing more than anything, because he is actually very assured in his identity in general! Most of his problems with his own identity aren't actually grappling with any specific identity itself, but his concerns with how other people perceive him about said identity (being gay, son of Hades, etc). (I do agree though that in canon he moved on from that WAY too quickly.)

That being said I do think people around him would mistakenly assume he's homophobic at first, LOL.

A.) I think his language is VERY outdated, because he probably has never had the opportunity to educate himself on English queer terminology back in the day, and absolutely has never had the opportunity to educate himself on modern queer topics/terminology, nor would he probably be brave enough to do so on his own. If he's had any brushes with modern English queer stuff it'd probably be the kids at Westover saying slurs and Nico internally quietly going ("??? is that the word for it?") He knows it's considered crude but he can't tell if it's because it's impolite terminology or just general homophobia and he's too afraid to ask, so he just awkwardly avoids saying anything at all or just VEEEERRRY SLOWLY starts letting out the most hesitant "...f-?" until his friends cover his mouth going "no no no no, don't say that-" (Nico di Angelo voted most likely to say "Is he... yknow... [gestures vaguely]...?")

B.) Nico kind of goes deer-in-the-headlights about queer topics in HoH and I imagine that would be something that continues for a bit until he learns that he's in a safe space for it. Like anybody starts mentioning queer stuff and he just freezes up a little bit and starts awkwardly trying to read for what reaction he should be having based on everybody else while remaining polite as possible, but also he can't tell if they're being sarcastic or not so he's just trying to leave just in case someone starts being homophobic, and also he's very confused anyways because he's not caught up on the terminology. But everyone else just reads that as "oh, queer topics make Nico DEEPLY uncomfortable. Is he homophobic but like, trying to be nice about it?" (cause the majority of camp probably still thinks Nico has a crush on Annabeth and has no reason to believe he likes guys, or anyone for that matter). And then people find out he's from the 1930s and proceed to filter his behavior through that lens and just assume "Oh, it must just be him being from the 1930s" and leave it at that.

Also its just REALLY funny to me to have the dynamic of Will looking at Nico, mistakenly assuming he must just be mildly homophobic, and going "I CAN FIX HIM-" while there is Nothing To Fix he's just old, gay, closeted, and confused.

[elephantshoetoo]

So, I wrote this little miwi flashback scene today. I plan to use it in The Byler Files somewhere, but I don't know where yet. Probably Vol.4.

(*warning: contains a homophobic slur.)

May 7th, 1979,

The schoolyard at Hawkins Elementary…

(It's morning recess. After staying back to talk to his teacher about a late homework assignment, 8-year-old Mike Wheeler exits the building with Miss Drew to find his best friend Will huddled in a corner, his legs pulled up to his chest, quietly crying into his knees. Mike rushes over to him, alarmed.)

MIKE: Will! What happened?! Are you okay? Why… why are you crying?

(The teacher catches up and bends down to check on him.)

MISS DREW: Will…? Honey? Can you tell me what happened?

(Will shakes his head and pulls himself in tighter.)

MIKE: Are you sick? Are you hurt?

(Still not looking up, he shakes his head again. Mike rubs his back, concerned.)

MISS DREW: Sweetie, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong…

(Will doesn't respond. He squeezes his legs like he's trying to fold in on himself and disappear.)

MIKE (to the teacher): I… I can probably get him to talk… (Nodding, she mouths, “Okay,” and continues watching them.) Um… alone.

MISS DREW: Oh. Alright. (She hesitates, but decides it's probably the best course of action.) Well, let me know if he needs anything, okay?

MIKE: Yes, ma’am.

(Once she's gone, Mike puts his arms around Will and holds him tight, rocking slightly to comfort him. He softly hums the tune of “I Want You to Want Me” by Cheap Trick. When he feels Will start to loosen up, Mike pulls back to see if he'll talk yet.)

MIKE (softly): Will? Are you okay? What happened?

WILL (sniffling, into his knees): It's… it's nothing. It's stupid.

MIKE: Hey, it's not nothing if it upsets you… You can tell me.

(Will sighs and leans into Mike, whose arm is still cradled around his back.)

MIKE: Please…?

WILL: Okay… (Mike soothingly strokes Will's hair, waiting patiently for him to feel safe enough to open up. Will tilts his head slightly and peeks up at Mike. He's greeted with an encouraging smile and relaxes a bit more. Gathering his thoughts, Will starts to talk, slowly at first, his words tinged with shame.) James and Troy were… were calling me names again. And… and everybody laughed.

MIKE: Oh.

(Mike looks out at the schoolyard. A few groups of kids are still hovering nearby, glancing at them and whispering. Mike sends them a piercing scowl and they quickly disperse.)

MIKE: What did they call you?

WILL: Troy said his dad told him I'm a… a…

(Will tears up a bit and hides his face again.)

MIKE (gently coaxing): A what?

WILL (cringing): A… a disguting… f*ggot…?

MIKE: Oh. (He looks down, wincing, then purses his lips and resolves to make Will feel better.) Well… it doesn't matter what they think. They're a bunch of stinky dunderheads anyway. (Will chuckles sadly for a brief moment.) I mean, they even waited until Lucas was home sick and I… (regretfully) wasn't here. They're total cowards.

WILL: I know, but… it's not just them – everybody thinks it. Even my dad.

MIKE: R-really…?

WILL (looking down): Yeah.

MIKE: Well… I don't.

(Will gazes over at Mike, overwhelmingly relieved to hear this.)

WILL: Y-you don't?

MIKE: No! I could never think anything bad about you. You're… you're perfect, Will.

WILL (quietly): No, I'm not.

MIKE: I think you are…

WILL: Really…?

MIKE: Yeah. Really.

WILL: But… what if it turns out they're right?

MIKE: They're NOT!

WILL: But, what if… what if they are? Would… would you still like me?

MIKE: Will. (Mike holds Will's face between his hands and peers resolutely into his eyes. He speaks gently but insistently.) I would still love you.

(A flash of joy lights up Will's whole face.)

WILL: Y-you would?

MIKE: Yeah! Of course. You're my best friend. (He squeezes Will's hand reassuringly.) Nothing could ever change that, okay?

(Fresh tears slip down Will's cheeks. He gives Mike a small, grateful smile, rubbing his thumb over Mike's knuckles for comfort.)

WILL: Okay.

(Mike tenderly caresses Will's face, wiping away his tears, then pulls him against his chest, kissing the top of his head. Holding Will securely in his arms, Mike's heart glows with a sparkly kind of warmth.)

WILL: Mike…?

MIKE: Yeah?

WILL: D’you know a f*ggot is…?

MIKE: No… D-do you?

WILL (shrugging): I dunno. Something horrible and gross, I think. It… it sounds like… some kind of… monstrous garden slug, maybe...?

MIKE (laughing): Well, you're definitely not that!

WILL (also laughing): No, I guess not.

(Mike gives Will one last comforting hug before they stand up and, hand in hand, head over to swings. Watching them from the school steps, Miss Drew smiles to herself.)

(END SCENE)

*The Byler Files, vol 1 and 2, and the first half of vol. 3 are all on AO3, under the name ElephantShoe.

Okay, now I seriously need to get back to the story I'm supposed to be working on.

(Procrastination -- the best way to get something *else* done. Am I right?)

[slicznymartwy]

Hello, can I request Billy Lenz x GN reader with a praise kink? I would love to see what this dudes version of "praise" would be, and how the self insert even got him to do it lmao

i love this so much <33 love this dirty freek warning: vague descriptions of sex, interpret however you prefer :) !! slight abuse mention at the end

☾⋆⁺₊ billy lenz x gn!reader with praise kink

the first time you ask, he’s got you pressed against your bedroom door, panting desperately into your neck as he rocks his crotch on your hip. your hand is in his hair when you whisper pleadingly, “tell me i’m good. please, tell me i’m good.”

you’ve learned not to expect much from billy when it comes to affection, but it doesn’t stop the pang in your heart when he outright laughs at you in between his lewd moans. he kisses your throat sweetly, then pulls back to lick across your lips.

“pig. pig slut,” he mocks in between giggles. he kisses your parted lips and you don’t bring it up again that night.

the second time you ask him, you’re sitting on top of him and his head is laid back against your pillows. he’s breathing hard, already so close to the edge despite him only dropping down from the attic a mere 10 minutes ago. you feel good, knowing that you’ve turned this depraved sex maniac into a melted puddle.

“tell me how good i am to you,” you say. the hand that was on his chest moves towards his throat, and billy’s eyes are wide as he watches you.

“guh,” is all he manages to mutter before his eyes screw shut. his hands are tight against your hips as he finishes, and his legs writhe underneath you. he doesn’t breathe for a moment, but when he’s back, he slurs, “good. s’good. good, good.” you can still feel him underneath you, rutting his hips as he rides out his orgasm.

but that’s also not really what you want to hear either, because that’s not really billy. it’s nice to hear, but he’s just repeating your words. he’d probably say anything when he’s that far gone.

finally, you tell him plainly. he’s horny and can barely listen, but you stroke his hair while you lay in bed and tell him that you like being praised. you tell billy that you want him to tell you that you’re making him feel good.

a short while later, with your hand down billy’s pants, he whispers against your ear, “good piggy. f-feels good. good- good piggy.” he's quiet when he starts, like he's trying out the words on his tongue. as you feel your body start to react to him, and you hide your face against his hair as you continue working him.

“piggy, that’s s-so good. good piggy. that’s a good piggy,” he’s rambling, hands fisting in your shirt. his hips buck against your hand eagerly. desperate for billy's touch, you kiss him, but his lips are parted as he pants out loud. You kiss his tongue, and he sobs as he lets out a full body twitch.

"my good piggy. my good slut."

more notes :p

safe to say, billy doesn’t really understand praise kink. to him, sex is vile. it’s filthy and wrong and he likes it that way. if you want to make billy feel good, then how can you be good? doesn't compute.

but once he tries it, i think he’d like it a lot. he definitely won’t do a full 180 change, but he likes calling you his “good piggy” or his “favorite slut”.

i also imagine him realizing he can bend what "good" means... and tht's when the real fun starts lol

telling you to be a good pig and oink for him, then showering you in compliments when you finally do it

praising you for masturbating on the phone with him while you're in a room where anyone can walk into

he realizes he can praise you for being disgusting like him

hmmm maybe i just like corruption a little bit too much lol

[rorywritesjunk]

I'd love if you knew you were on my mind

You volunteer to escort the captain back to her quarters when she gets too drunk.

Rating: PG-13 Warning: Drinking, more longing. Pairing: F/F Word Count: 580 A/N: Happy Pride, babies <3

Title comes from "Naked In Manhattan" by Chappell Roan as that is the song for this fic.

Part 1 + Part 2 + Part 3

~

It was a designated Pub Night where the crew would flood into the town, drinking the place dry of all alcohol while partying loud into the early morning the next day. Captain Buggy was no different, often leading the way as she slammed each empty bottle down, demanding another round for the table, while you stood nearby with your first drink of the night. You had your fair share of drunken stupors that led to fun and mischief in dark corners with willing partners, but that stopped when your feelings grew for your captain. 

You found it hard to focus on someone else when every touch had you fantasizing that it was her fingers between your legs, her mouth on your neck while your hand was up her shirt and the other tangled in her hair. You wanted to moan her name, have her praising you, saying how good you were for her while knuckle deep inside of you.

You tossed your drink back, trying to clear your head of those thoughts as you heard your captain laugh and toss her empty bottle aside. She slumped against Mohji, red faced and shrieking with laughter at something Cabaji said. The first mate tried to help her sit up but she was laughing too hard. It would be his duty to get his captain back to the ship safely, but he was only on his second bottle and wanted to keep enjoying the night, so you approached them.

“I’ll get her back to the ship.” 

He looked relieved and you helped Buggy to her feet. She threw her arms around you, giggling and nuzzling your cheek as the alcohol flowed through her, making everything funnier than it really was. Buggy let you lead her away, insisting that she wasn’t one to dance, but since you were so pretty, she’d make an exception. It was hard not to smile at your captain’s drunken attempt at flirting on the way back to the ship, but you had to be the sober one and get her safely home.

Once you arrived to her room, you helped her over to her bed but she attempted to push you away, one arm popping off to keep you away while she tried to keep herself upright on the bed with the other, squinting drunkenly at you.

“Who’re you?” She slurred as she swayed a bit where she sat. Her torso separated, slipping off and landing on the mattress. You said nothing as you tried to push her arm back and help her get back together. “Hey! I’m taken, back off!”

You stopped in your tracks. She was? Since when? Who was it? If she was taken then why did it seem like she was flirting with you any chance she had when the two of you were alone? Maybe you were so into her you misunderstood the situation entirely.

“Captain, I was just trying to help you into bed.” You tried to explain as you knelt down in front of her, reaching forward to unbuckle her boots. “That’s all.”

“I got a girlfriend for that.” She hiccuped as she frowned at you. “Get-Get out of here.”

“Captain Buggy-”

“Get out!” 

Her hands kept shoving you back and right out of the room before slamming the door shut. That… that was weird. You didn’t know she had a girlfriend and you didn’t mean to make her upset. Maybe tomorrow she’d forget this and you could stay on the crew.

[teaveetamer]

Considering Bernedetta is still up there while Alcryst isn't the top 5 of Engage characters but Diamant is, you can infer Bernie fans and Alcryst fans aren't merging. Ironically Leo and Takumi being in the top 20 could mean you're correct and fans of Takumi and Leo intersect with Alcryst thus he's not getting as many votes because Leo and Takumi are getting them. Look as a Fates fan I really don't get the Bernie love because Fates is a bunch of anime tropes but she's fine just rubs me the wrong way, but she has a hardcore base I suppose

Leo and Takumi have always maintained a top 20 position/top 5-10ish Fates characters so I can't say conclusively if there's any sort of real vote siphon going on. If anything, Alcryst is probably siphoning their votes because people probably figure he has the best shot to win this year.

Also keep in mind, the top 5 is not divided by gender. There are three women taking up three of the spots (Ivy, Yunaka, and F!Alear) so for all we know Alcryst could be the #3 Engage male character behind M!Alear and Diamant. The top five rankings are neat but I wouldn't take them too seriously.

But yeah I'll be completely honest: everyone who was predicting Alcryst would siphon votes from Bernie clearly do not understand the demographics of FEH/the primary target demographic of Bernadetta. And I don't mean this to be demeaning, but Bernie-as-a-character is written in a way that indulges in a fantasy primarily held by straight men. She's the "broken girl who only trusts you and needs you to protect her". That's why her Byleth supports go all in on "omg I'm usually such a mess but I feel safe with basically zero effort around you professor because you're special!" Alcryst, I would guess, was not written with that demographic in mind. He definitely has his appeals to his specific demographics, but I highly doubt there's a lot of overlap between who he was designed to appeal to and who Bernie was designed to appeal to.

Even if they were a 1:1 comparison just with the gender flipped, that doesn't mean they're going to appeal to the same people. The way they're perceived is going to be affected by their genders. For example, a lot of straight men probably find Alcryst whiny or feel like he needs to "man up". If we went back in time about 10-15 years I'm sure they'd even have some choice slurs for gay men to call him. That's no doubt because in our society we view men who are shy, overly apologetic, jumpy, lacking confidence or self-esteem, etc. as weak and shameful. Whereas with women, lacking confidence and self-esteem is not only expected but often desirable. So you can wind up with two characters who are exactly the same but one will be perceived differently based on gender norms and socialization.

Something similar happened with Corrin back in the day. While both Corrins got flack, M!Corrin, particularly M!Corrin in Conquest, got hit particularly hard with criticism complaining about how he was whiny, he was weak, he was stupid, he was overdramatic, etc. while F!Corrin (who Conquest was likely natively written around) slid under the radar more.

Honestly you could do a whole essay on Conquest v. Birthright, the way they were written/localized with a particular Corrin in mind, and what that says about how society treats gender (particularly how F!BR!Corrin doesn't get shit for taking on more """masc""" traits of being headstrong and violent, but M!CQ!Corrin gets shit for taking on the more """femme""" traits of CQ, such as making an "emotional" decision to side with Nohr, being all about pacifism and cooperation, and openly expressing strong emotions of sadness and regret). But idk if I wanna be the one to write it.

[faggylilpunk]

Finnaly made a tumbler! Anyway, haiii! :3 i am albert, i am a punk dragon dino!

What to expect:

very leftist ideologies

Politics

16+ posts

A lot of photos of me and cass

Talk of crimes (anything serious will have a tw and be tagged appropriately)

Furry & therian content (tho less common)

Punk diy stuff (i plan to make some tutorials for a lot of the diy stuff I've made<3)

F-slur/T-slur (I am reclaiming them but will have them tagged as #f-slur and #t-slur if they bother you ofc! Not changing my @ tho, it kinda means something to me qwq)

I may post words like slut, whore, and other degrading terms, they will be tagged as said word (ex: #slut) so you can blacklist the tag ^^

I may talk about themes of self harm, violence, abuse, or explicit substances, all of which will also be tagged! (Ex: #selfharm #tw:selfharm) but i will also have a more descriptive trigger warning for heavy subjects like self harm, sa, abuse ect. If you dont wanna fully blacklist the tag ^^

Some of my patches will have things that fall under these^ o will likely not go through the effort of censoring and i might not tagg it unless it's fairly close up so if it really bothers you just block me ^^ no harsh feelings

This isn't a 18+ blog, nsfw pfps will be blocked to keep ppl safe, my cusion follows me

Do not interact if:

Nsfw pfp

Anyone else, feel free to argue and talk shit, i will put nazis, pedos, fascist, zionists, zoos, racists, and who tf else i hate in thier place or just block ya after trying lol

About me:

trans masc/enby person (gender bxy)

therian/otherkin identifying with a dinosaur-esk dragoniod (yes, I'm aware I am human -_-)

I am a plushum, meaning I have romantic and/or sexual attraction, twords plushies. I consider my bunny plush one of my partners bc i love them very much

Furry

Pansexual and arojump (under the aromantic spectrum)

I am diagnosed with autism, adhd, dyslexia and dysgraphia

Self diagnosed and peer reviewed with social anxiety, gender dysphoria (duh), bipolar disorder (not sure which one yet tbh but it's exstreamly obvious to my bipolar partner lol) and potentially dyscalcula but im not fully sure so take with a grain of salt

Mutual/social anarchist, i really wanna be able to set up a free market where I live one day

I am very vulture culture, frequently bring home dead animals to burry for respect and bones

Very left leaning if it isnt obvious enough

I've been called the f-slur & t-slur a few times. Now i call myself that because what ya gonna do if I already call myself those oh so scary words?

Im atheist and dont believe in any form of life after death but like I support yall having freedom of religion, pagens, Christians, Muslims, Satanists, like go for it, I just simply cant understand the idea of a greater purpose

I grew up where slurs were used casually. I have racist redneck family. Thankfully, I grew up to realize wtf is actually wrong with that side of my family ?-? You can break out of shitty thinking, there is no excuse for racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, ect. Like get a life

I try my best to support, but we can only walk places, and we frequently eat outta dumpsters

More will be added as i think of stuff

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas!

just looking for a bit of advice here.

okay so for some background, i came out to my friend almost a year ago (kind of sort of, i just told her i liked girls as a girl myself) we’re both in school btw. she was completely supportive of me and even defended me against anything remotely homophobic. she was really sweet and understanding and i felt super safe with her. she’s been one of my best friends since middle school and she’s always stuck with me.

recently though, things have been changing. she’s always been a little back and forth with me and our other friends, always choosing who to be nice to in our group that day, it was never all of us. but now, she’s been more cold to just me consistently, ignoring me in big groups, looking me up and down, getting ‘mad’ at me for every reason she can find. it’s just not great. but then out of the blue some days, she acts like im her best friend and she loves me and is so so kind to me. those are the days i feel safe with her again.

but that’s not what’s bothering me the most about her behavior recently. what is, is that she’s been using the f slur a lot, not often directed at people (though i assume its at me when she says “i hate *f slurs* when i do something she doesn’t like) i’ll oftentimes just brush it off and act like she was just making a joke that was actually funny with a little remark back to her. i don’t know if she’s actually homophobic, because she’s really close with some of my gay friends and doesn’t do this to them, also because of her support when i came out.

and i really don’t know what to do about it because i love her friendship when she wants to give it to me, but what she’s doing is starting to really hurt me. i’ve talked to my best friend (who is amazingly kind and has also experienced this friend’s fake side) about some of this but i just don’t think she’d understand how deeply this hurts me

anyway, didn’t mean to dump on you this much but i just hope you can help me find what to do next. thank you <33

(also if i end up sending another ask, which is pretty unlikely, you can just call me eternal sunshine anon <3)

Hi love!

So what your friend is doing is NOT okay. Using the f-slur in that way is absolutely homophobic and could be considered a crime depending on your location. Now, I'm not saying you should call the police or anything. There's obviously nuance with the word- some queer people have chosen to reclaim it, and there is a huge amount of ignorance with people outside of the community. However, your friend is deeply in the wrong.

I think the first thing I would push you to do, though, is talk to your friend. I know it can be intimidating to address conflict like this head-on, but it seems like you do care for this friend, so I think you should at least try to tell her that these and other actions make you upset and make you feel unsafe. Right now, there's the very small chance that she's unaware, so we don't know if she's hurting you on purpose. Her reaction will be a huge indicator of whether or not it's worth it to stay friends. An ignorant but well-meaning person might say, "oh my god, I had NO idea, I'll really work to do better!" and then actually do so. But if she doubles down or tells you you're being too sensitive, I would urge you to reconsider that friendship. A 'friend' who is willing to intentionally do something that hurts you isn't really a friend.

Remember too that even if someone doesn't understand WHY something is hurtful, a person who cares will still make an effort to feel comfortable. So even if she doesn't fully understand why you dislike some of her actions, as long as your requests are reasonable, she should still try to do better. (Asking her to not use a hateful slur is EXTREMELY reasonable.)

You have the right to set boundaries and ask for respect and if people don't like that, they aren't worth your energy or friendship.

I hope this helps! <3 <3 <3

[bunnyinakangolhat]

things are changing in the usa, and badly

i think i finally managed to articulate what happened to me on friday, so here i go. im gonna put it under a cut tho bc this turned out really long.

TWS// vent, f-slur, homophobia

even though i live in a blue state and go to a private school that prides itself on inclusivity, there have already been... changes. a shrine for america (ft tr*mp, muskrat, a dollar bill, and a whole ass flag) has been created on a cluster of 4 or 5 lockers. administration has done nothing, despite there being a ban on decorations on the exterior of lockers. depite us reading a book on oppression and diversity in my english class, saying anything to do with the queer community is taboo, despite one of the main characters being recently revealed as gay.

because i'm one of the most vocally queer people in the class, the head of the english department and my english teacher had a meeting with me. i told them that the ban made me feel unsafe, like i had to hide who i was from them, but they never gave me an actual answer. they told me that they really didn't mean to make me feel that way, and asked how we could come to a solution. when i said that they should lift the ban, i was told they couldn't do that because they had to make sure that the classroom was safe for everyone (read: the homophobes).

we sat there for nearly 45 minutes as i tried to make them understand that there wasn't a way for everyone to feel safe, and that because i was a/the minority, both with being queer and compared to the amount of homophobes, i would have to be the one to feel unsafe. i told them i was fine with it, that i had accepted my new reality, but they wouldn't listen. they refused to budge on their side and only tried to make me understand how i actually was safe in class. but... i'm not. i told them that the very kids in that class they were trying to keep safe were the same ones that whispered "f@g" as i walked by. but they still insisted that there is a way for everyone to feel safe in class.

im really disappointed in both of them. they're both dating/married to people of their same respective genders. the head of the english department is a co-leader of SAGA. and yet they wasted both of our time talking in circles to try and find a solution i told them doesn't exist.

i cant take this anymore.

[written-by-jayy]

Whumpcember, day 1: Fever

From this prompt list

CW: Fever, Vague references to past trauma, fluff

Word count: 1,594

Characters: Rowan= caretaker, Adam= whumpee, Grayson= coworker/friend, Darren= Boss/mentor

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rowan noticed something was wrong, the moment Adam walked through the door of their shared dorm room.

It wasn't unusual for Adam to be exhausted after a long shift, but this seemed different. Rowan observed how his eyes seemed to be looking into space, his breathing came in short, shallow breaths, and his movements were slow. Even his "Oh, hey," seemed slow and slurred.

But Rowan kept his concerns to himself for now. No need to make Adam stress more about being a 'burden'. He'd just have to keep a close eye on his roommate for the time being.

"What do you mean 'oh, hey'? I told you this morning that I'd be back early..." Rowan tested.

Adam stared blankly at him for a few moments, "You did?"

"Yeah. Whatever, how was work?"

Adam set his bag down and took his shoes off. Finally snapping out of his trance, "I'm so sorry Rowan, I must've forgotten. You're not mad, right?"

"Of course I'm not. You're alright. Anything interesting with work?" He repeated.

"Oh, right," Adam shuffled his way to the chair across from Rowan and sat, "work was alright I guess. Pretty slow, which was nice. Grayson was in a good mood. Wouldn't say why though..."

"Interesting. Glad work was okay. You want dinner?"

"Sorry, but I'm not very hungry... I just wanna sleep right now."

"What have you eaten today?"

A pause

"Milk...?"

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Adam smiled shyly and looked down at his feet.

“Sooo. What do you want?”

“Oh, um… idunno,” he shrugged.

“If you don’t pick something, I’m just gonna make some soup,” Rowan’s tone had become unintentionally harsh and blunt. He hadn’t noticed until he saw the wetness of Adam’s eyes when they made eye contact again. He had been trying to keep the worry out of his voice but ended up over compensating.

“Th- sure, uh that sounds good. I’m sorry,” great, Rowan thought as Adam stumbled over his words. Now he’s sick and upset.

“Adam you really don’t have anything to be sorry for. I’m the one who should be sorry for talking to you like that. I didn’t mean to sound so rude,” he explained

Adam cleared his throat, “No, I was being frustrating to you… soup is good. I just don’t want you to go through the effort of making me food if I’m only going to eat half of it.”

“We can save any leftovers for tomorrow.”

Adam nodded. Rowan got up and went to the kitchen to start the soup.

While Rowan was out of the room, Adam sighed and slouched in the chair. His head was throbbing and his hands were almost as shaky as they were sweaty. He thanked what ever god or deity might be watching that Rowan hadn’t noticed. He closed his eyes and laid his head against the back of the chair.

Several minutes went by like that. Eventually he must’ve fallen asleep, because he was jolted awake by a gentle hand on his sweaty forehead. Tears welled in his eyes and he struggled to calm his breathing as he realized who it was. And he was safe. He was home. No one could hurt him. He was safe.

“I’m so sorry, Adam,” Rowan sat on the floor next to Adam and held his trembling hand, “it’s just me. You’re okay. I didn’t mean to scare you…”

Adam began nodding slowly as he caught his breath, watching Rowan rub small, soothing circles around the back of his hand with his thumb.

“Just wanted to let you know food is ready. You feeling alright?” Rowan cocked his head slightly.

Adam’s eyes widened, “Uhh, I …yeah. I’m fine. Wh-why?” His eyes darted around.

Rowan recognized these signs of unease and anxiety. He really didn’t want cause Adam discomfort but ignoring his illness so far had only proved to let it get worse.

“Adam, I’m gonna check you for a fever. I’m sure it’s nothing but I just want to be safe, okay?”

Adam felt his breathing pick up again, “No, uh that’s f-fine Rowan. I, ngh I’m fine, I sw-swear!” He was suppressing coughs and tears alike.

Poor thing.

Rowan grabbed the thermometer from the drawer of the couches side table, “Addy. Hey, I’m just checking, okay? I don’t want you to suffer if there’s something I can do to help,” he grabbed Adam’s sweaty, shaking hand and tried making eye contact

Adam on the other hand, kept his eyes down, looking at his feet.

“Hey. I want your permission Adam. You have a choice, okay? Can I check your temperature? It’s the new one so I won’t have to touch your forehead with it. That okay? It’s alright if you don’t want to though.”

Adam took a deep breath. In and out. He nodded.

As Rowan held the thermometer up to Adam’s forehead waiting for the beep, he wondered what happened to his friend before they met that could make him so nervous about being sick. He knew it wasn’t the thermometer he was scared of. And based on his past actions and mannerisms, it didn't seem to be sickness itself... So it must be either the acknowledgement or other people knowing that scared him. But why-?

The beep pulled him out of his thoughts. He held it close to his eyes, realizing he had left his glasses upstairs.

102.3

Or was it 102.8?

Hard to tell. But either way it was just as he thought.

He looked at Adam, finally meeting his eyes.

“I’m sorry. Is it bad?” Adam’s hand was still shaking in Rowan’s as his other rubbed his topaz eye and sniffed. His hazel eye held Rowan’s gaze.

“Not too bad. But... you do have a fever…” Rowan was trying to be careful with his wording. When Adam looked away and shrunk back, he stood up, “tell ya what; I’ll dish up the soup — should just be warm by now — and I’ll call Darren and tell him that you’re sick and ask for a few days off for you. And once I’m done with that, I’ll grab us some pillows and blankets and you’ll pick the movie tonight. How does that sound? And you can say no.”

Adam was silent for a few moments, lost in thought. Eventually, he looked back up at Rowan, his freckled cheeks flushed a peachy color and his mismatched eyes still slightly teary.

“You promise it won’t be an issue. I just don’t want-“ he was cut off by a coughing fit.

After a moment, he cleared his throat and continued, “I really don’t want to be a burden and I don’t want to cause more work for you, Darren, or anyone else.”

“I promise, Adam,” Rowan was ecstatic when Adam hadn’t argued, “I’ll go dish us up and call Darren!”

As he headed for the kitchen, Rowan realized the lack of arguing from his roommate might actually not be very good…

Is it that bad? He wondered

He hoped not. He’d just have to keep a close eye on him for now. Because right now, all he could do is try to wait it out. No point in stressing out over a fever and minor cold.

Adam stayed in that position for a few moments after Rowan left. Thinking. Hoping. Wishing.

Thinking about how grateful he was to Rowan for taking care of him, hoping Rowan had meant his promise and would keep it, and wishing he could express his gratitude and happiness.

After a short while, he peeled himself off the soft chair and went to his room. He'd be fast. Rowan wouldn't even notice he was gone. He was just changing his shirt.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he came back out and heard Rowan still in the kitchen, on the phone.

He clumsily and slowly made his way to the sofa. Grabbed the remote and sat down as he scrolled through the 'recommended' tab. He was very bad at making decisions. The whole concept still seemed sort of alien to him.

Eventually, when he heard Rowan say "Thank you! I'll let him know!", followed by the clanking of bowls, Adam hurriedly picked the first thing that caught his eye. After selecting it, he realized it was a cheesy romcom.

So his eyes had chosen violence when they were attracted to the bright colors. He'd suffer then. Unless Rowan didn't like this.

"Oooh, that's a good one! A nice comfort movie. Oh and Darren gave you two days off," Assuming you don't get worse. He left that last part out.

"Really? You like it? I've never seen it..."

"Phew, you're in for a mess. It's an oldie. So basically it's so bad that it's good. I hope you like it," Rowan set the bowls on the center table and went to the linen closet, grabbing a few of the fluffiest blankets that they had.

He sat down next to Adam and handed him a blanket.

"Thanks," Adam hit play, wrapped himself in the blanket, and grabbed a bowl of soup

After some time, Rowan felt something on his shoulder. When he looked down, he smiled.

Adam had fallen asleep, leaning his head on Rowan. It was the first time Rowan felt that Adam trusted him fully. It was the best feeling in the world. It made him feel warmer than the soup had.

He grabbed the mostly full soup bowl from Adam's lap and set it on the table. He turned the tv volume down slightly, and eventually, he too fell asleep...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 1 pt.2

Author's note: Please, if you have any suggestions for how I could improve this piece, series, or my writing style as a whole, please don't hesitate to give tips. Constructive criticism is welcome and appreciated! Thanks for reading!

[newwwwusername]

My Own Private Idaho - Scott/Mike, Scott/Carmela - Pride Month Prompt 3 : Bisexual

Cw for the f slur Prompt : Write either an M/M, F/F, F/M, or Other (to include nonbinary folks since yes, bisexuality often does include them) fic (can be fluff, hurt/comfort, whatever you see fit) in which either one or both of the characters in that pairing are bisexual OR a gen fic in which a bi character (can be a canon or headcanoned character) is coming out to/being comforted by/otherwise talking about sexuality with their friend(s) Headcanons : Bisexual!Scott, FTM!Mike, Autistic!Mike

Scott reckoned sex with Mike wasn't all that bad. A few drinks, twenty bucks, trying to scare off the cops- Whatever excuse he found always wound up with him inches deep into the other man, and a small part of him knew he didn't completely hate it.

Excuse or not, he'd always justify it to himself. Mike wasn't always a man. He had all the downstairs equipment that your average woman on the street did. But that never sat right in his head as a justification for why him sleeping with Michael didn't make him a faggot because, well, he didn't see Michael as a woman. He never did. He could never see Michael as anything less than a man because he wasn't anything less than a man. That was hard to deal with.

It was a slippery slope, too, admitting to himself that his feelings for Michael were beyond the line of platonic. If he admitted that he liked Michael in that way, then he'd have to admit that he didn't hate all the dates he went on with male clients over the years. He'd have to admit to himself that, no matter what change he made in his career path and personal life, that core part of him would always stray from his parents ideals. He couldn't like men because he wasn't a complete degenerate.

That's just how it was.

Maybe that's why running away with Carmela was so easy. He did genuinely like her in the same way that, deep down, he'd always liked Michael. But the difference with her is that she was a safe option. It's like the universe had presented him with two options- Man or woman. He loved them both equally but one was just the far more obvious choice in the context of his life, especially since he was on the cusp of making the change right when his family least expected it. He would be good for them, and he couldn't be good for them if he picked the riskier choice.

He was happy with Carmela. Really, he was. He loved her and vice versa. He was also finally stable in his living situation- As fun as being in Bob's prostitute gang had been, it didn't come with the soundest of sleep. And he'd outgrown them, really. Sure, sometimes he'd fantasize about running around with those boys again, really letting loose, but peace looked well on him and he wasn't soon to give it up.

The fantasies of Michael wouldn't stop either. Nor the guilt over leaving him behind. That was his one true regret in life, abandoning Michael. Not even necessarily that he'd moved on from the boy, no. That was inevitable (it had to be). But he felt bad for the way he'd gone about it because he knew Michael loved him and he also knew that Michael would have a hard time fending for himself without Scott there because of his Narcolepsy and his Autism, especially in a foreign country.

He'd never been Mike's caretaker by any means, but no one else ever really knew how to deal with his Narcoleptic attacks or his meltdowns except for Scott. Mike hadn't felt genuinely unsafe in a really long time because he always knew in the back of his head that even if he passed out or started having a meltdown in an inconvenient situation, Scott would make sure he was okay. But then Scott left, and he felt unsafe again.

Scott never could outrun that guilt.

Eventually, the guilt and the repressed feelings had to come to pass and he found himself sobbing in his wife's arms, admitting everything he'd buried down and wished desperately would've stayed buried. "I loved him" he said through tears, nearly choking from emotion. Carmela just smiled weakly and ran a soothing hand through his hair. She'd always been so good to him in that way.

"Loved who?" she asked. There were so many men in Scott's past, it could be difficult to keep track of them. Bob, Budd, Mike, Hans... The list went on for quite a while.

"Mike" he coughed out. "Michael. The guy who was with me when we- When I met you first" he explained, occasionally coughing or sniffing or gagging through tears. "I loved him. I fucking loved him, Car" he sobbed inconsolably. "And I abandoned him in the worst way possible" he continued. "How am I supposed to- How do- How-"

"Breathe" Carmela caught him off calmly. They went back and forth like that for a while and, by the end of it, Scott was clinging to her like his life depended on it, horribly afraid she would leave him. He couldn't even blame her if she did- No one wanted to hear about their husband's lingering romantic and sexual feelings for another man. But, she didn't. She couldn't. He loved him far more than anything else. She would rather eat nails than leave him over something she'd suspected for a while.

After that, he'd gone out for a rather long drive, just by himself, to Idaho. Why Idaho? Well, it reminded him of Michael. And he needed that right now. He needed Michael. He needed...

"Michael?" he said out loud to himself because there was an awfully familiar figure passed out in the middle of the road. He didn't want to believe it but, sure enough, as he grew closer and closer, he was more and more positive about the identity of the figure. Mike Waters was passed out in the middle of the road, clearly having been robbed if his lack of shoes were any indication.

Without thinking, Scott parked the car and got out. Fuck his parents. Fuck his ideals. Fuck all of that- Michael was in an unsafe situation and no one was around and he could do something.

"Come on, big guy" Scott said quietly as he lifted Michael's unconscious body, dragging him towards the passenger side of his vehicle. "I'm here, man. I'm here"

Do not repost on other sites! If you want to participate in this month's challenge, there are 30 LGBT-centered prompts that you can find here

[your-friendly-neighbourh00d-fag]

also 10 11 20 23 for the music ask thingy & 21 22 34 for the mcr one :P

:)))

music

10- a song that makes you sad.

This Is Home by cavetown :,) specifically This is Home and not Home. (THEY ARE DIFFERENT)

11- a song that you never get tired of

Helena. my ultimate song ever. my rotten soldier. my sweet cheese. my good time boy. mwah. 10/10. three cheers my favourite album in all history.

20- a song that has many meanings to you

ceilings by lizzy mcalpine. the amount of blorbo thoughts i have had listening to this song but then also just me thinking thouhgts and aghh.

23- a song that you think everyone should listen to

Welcome To The Black Parade. this song changed me at my very core and we as a fandom do not talk about it enough. LIKE!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!! W H A T TH E F U CK !! ! ! ! ! he was a god damn young boy.

mcr

21- mcr song you would crash a car to

ok if its crashing a car and i die? like in a cinematic movie way? fashion statement.

but if its like destroying the car and running it into a wall in a fuck the government kinda way, DESTROYA for sure. (i need to have my killjoy moment leave me alone)

22- mcr song that makes you cry your heart out

the ghost of you. holy fucking god. was one of my least favourites actually, but then i watched the music video, watched the making of, read the lyrics, got deep into the meaning and OHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYY GGOOOODODODDDDDDDD

watchifn gerard shriek 'mikey mikey mikey' when he dies i cannot i cannot i CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE-

34- mcr quote you think about a lot

well theres so many that are just funny and so many that are actually meaningful to me so i have a few.

'i'm frank iero, these are my friends, and im the faggot from mcr'

i don't know, i feel like this is weird to put on here, but i think this moment especially helped me kind of, idk, mentally reclaim the f slur? along with that other interview where gee was talking about how concerts are a 'safe place' for people to identify however they want and not get called slurs and stuff and them talking about it like that really did help me a lot with how i react to shit like that getting thrown at me (sorry that got heavy lol)

'hE's cRazY. hE's. hE's uNhiNgEd. hE's cOmE uNgLuEd!!!!!'

sbhjibji0bsij going from serious to lighthearted but this lives absolutely rent free in my head what is wrong with him (this and 'i'm a total jacket slut' 😭 king what are you talking about)

mikey's whole arts and crafts rant. HE IS BABY BOY!!!!!!