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i-cast-teatus-deletus · 2 years ago

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Part 0 - Blind Spots

These aren't "disclaimers" or anything, just stuff that you need to keep in mind as you read along with this blog. Every one of these facts should be appended at the end with, "so if you are not in the situation, you may need to do something different than what we are doing."

I will probably keep adding to this list as I think of more things that might need mentioned here.

We are, unfortunately, USAmericans

We own our home

Our house is always chilly, even in summer

We deliberately picked a house that is in-town (albeit a smallish Appalachian town) so we don't drive far for groceries, the pharmacy, etc

One of the guys has his own bedroom, and the other one shares it with me

We have people living in our home who are 100% on board to help with aftercare stuff, including someone who works from home.

We are all moderately handy with medical/home care stuff, are not squeamish, and are able to do all of those tasks safely and hygienically

We don't have kids. Our pets consist of two adult cats and some fish.

We don't have to travel extensively for consults or for surgery (probably 90-120 mins each way for everything)

Both guys are moderately skilled at sewing, and we own a mid-tier sewing machine. The one guy sewed his own dress for his senior prom, which was a big fluffy 18th century-inspired thing with a crinoline. There's a few things we intend to sew rather than buy, especially a Comfort Pillow since it's basically just a long rectangle. (I suggested somewhere to buy a pattern and got "I don't need a pattern for that, it's a pillow.")

We intend to keep the overwhelming majority of the items we are purchasing even after both surgeries are done (because we will end up having injuries or surgeries we didn't anticipate and most of this stuff is nice for recovering from other issues as well). Some of it may end up being repurposed or converted into something else (see the previous point ), but we intend to sell or give away very little. It's the other reason we're doing this much research.

We already own a shower chair (though we're actively looking for a nicer one), which you should consider getting if you're able to. We also already have a 7" Squatty Potty on each of the toilets in the house already (which you also definitely consider if you don't have one)

We desperately want natural fabrics (cotton, linen, silk) and are willing to pay more to get pajamas and shirts that aren't polyester.

We are not deeply concerned if something is Men's Clothing or Women's Clothing, and that extends to not just brand/size but color, cut, etc.

The guys both have short (ear-length or shorter) hair and intend to keep it at least that short into the future. My goal is to get them haircuts in the week before surgery, and if they want to go even SHORTER for recovery, I will not stop them.

I am going to be washing their hair/helping them wash their hair after surgery and we have a decent-ish spot in the house to do so.

Both guys in question are FOR SURE getting double incision surgery due to the amount of tissue that will need to be removed.

None of us are religious and have a pretty big aversion to Christianity in general (which may not sound relevant, but try looking for literally anything on Pinterest written by someone who isn't a loud and proud evangelical Christian)

And, while we're listing things to keep in mind, I'll just add these here too:

I use top surgery resources specifically for people who are trans pretty much interchangeably with mastectomy resources for cis women. Obviously, if you don't want to hear about cis women having mastectomies (even if they have info I thought was useful and have already been vetted by someone who isn't cis for offputting female-centric content), do not click on them. I will do my absolute best to tag them [#mastectomy resources for cis women] and mention it in the text of the post as well in case tagging fails. The primary thing to keep in mind about mastectomy resources for cis women is that a mastectomy on a cis woman is a MUCH more invasive surgery (often with multiple additional steps depending on how much tissue is being removed, what kind of reconstruction, etc.), so the recovery at roughly every stage is about double the length of top surgery and that's assuming there's no complications. It's nice to see what they needed for their 8-10 week layup with similar restrictions, but I think it would be easy to overbuy if you use them exclusively since you will be actually laid up for a substantially shorter length of time.

I'm currently tagging general surgery resources with [#general surgery resources] and mentioning they are not top surgery specific resources in the text of the post. Although I've read them over before posting them, general surgery resources may and probably will give advice that conflicts with advice a top surgeon (or your top surgeon in particular) would give.

I am currently unsure what surgery goals are for the guys after top surgery, but I'll likely continue to do similar stuff for hysto/whatever else if they decide to do it.

While "top surgery shopping with a goal of having the MOST ethical top surgery recovery" is certainly someone's goal, it's not the goal of our recovery or blog. There's NO ethical consumption under capitalism, and I am trying desperately to maximize my purchasing power. So, I have bought stuff for this blog on Amazon and Sam's Club, and will probably continue to do so if their prices are dramatically better for the items I'm after.

#ICTD Part 0 Intro

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macaronistarship · 3 years ago

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I saw this post by @protectspock about a theory that 90s trek technology is actually indicative of the future because people will get tired of the constant stress of smart phones/social media etc. It was really cool and gave some examples of new tech that is similar to the star trek tech.

I was inspired so I decided to make a list of products you can actually buy right now if you're rich and want to live like it's 2399.

1. (Mentioned in the post) this line of typewriters connect to the cloud and your computer if you need. They allow you to avoid distractions while you write. ($500-$800 USD)

2. Remarkable. A tablet that feels and looks like paper. No social media, no back lighting. ($400 USD)

3. The Light Phone (also mentioned in the post). Stripped of most things smart phones offer/force upon us. You can call, text, listen to podcasts and music, tell the time, use a calculator, and set alarms. But not much else.( pre-order for $299 USD. Both US and International versions)

4. The Paper Shoot. It's a digital camera without a screen. You use interchangeable lenses and SD cards to take pictures on this tiny camera. It's supposed to mimic the disposable camera experience so you stay in the moment. You can buy different skins to go on top of the hardware. (Their camera sets, which include everything you need including the SD card, are between $150 and $250 USD)

5. Hybrid smartwatches that look like normal watches, AND/OR This cool smartwatch called The Moment with no screen that uses vibrations to communicate with you. (ranges from $50 to a couple hundred USD)

6. Alexa or other things like Echo. I would argue that the concept of Alexa is very “slow tech” and trekkie because there’s no screen and you have to communicate by thinking more deeply about your questions and needs, and teach Alexa how to communicate with you. Definitely reminds me of the ship’s computer on trek. You could even program her to respond to “computer, lights.”

6. Slow Games. This one is cheating because I don't think these are for sale. Slow Games is a series of research/art projects done by Ishac Bertran and continued by Will Odom (and many others). The idea is that you work with games that are both physical and digital. And you can only make one move per day. It stops you from feeling instant gratification and keeps you thinking. Obviously the researchers explain it better. So go support them!

I love all of Will Odom's portfolio and would definitely recommend checking out his website (linked on his name above).

7. Philips Somneo Connected Sleep and Wake-Up Light. This thing looks like it belongs in someone’s personal quarters on the Enterprise. ($170-$200 USD)

8. Kasina deep vision bundle / Muse Brain Sensing Headband-- the concept reminds me of what the captain of the Equinox uses to escape from his awful reality. It’s focused only on meditation and relaxation. ($300- 400 USD)

If anyone knows of any other slow technology/ trek tech let me know!! I love this whole concept.

#star trek #trek tech #star trek next gen #star trek ds9 #ds9 #star trek voyager #st voy #st next gen

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stxleslyds · 3 years ago

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It’s very interesting to see your thoughts on Winnik cause personally while I like that he made jason a bit unhinged and fun in utrh his other characterizations of his were eh at best. Like why would jason not care about the world and why would he take over the drug trade of all things considering his history. I feel like Winnick had a very surface level understanding of Jason. There was a lot of his past to explore but it wasn’t explored that deeply. Plus I absolutely HATED his Bruce and talia characterization. And how he wrote Talia in both utrh and lost days was absolutely disgusting and his explanation for why he did it was that Jason loves Talia and that they were both messed up ppl??? Which is where I can’t forgive him. I feel like he was a one hit wonder because ever since utrh his Jason story started to go downhill. I also feel like it’s because DC doesn’t know how to write a character that’s from a poor background and that’s a huge disservice to Jason. I do hope that Rosenberg or another writer (hopefully female) does a good job on him. He’s been suffering under shitty writing for so long. Sorry for the long ask I really enjoy reading your posts.

Hi Anon, thank you for sending your ask!

Well, this is a great question because I love giving my opinions on Winick’s UtRH and Lost Days. I know those books (or some moments in them) are not everyone’s cup of tea and I had and have some problems with some of them but I have also come to understand them or even accept them as a writer bringing up a morally grey area in his books and doing it well (or at least I saw it that way after re-reading and researching a bit about his thoughts on those matters).

This is going to be a long post (I suppose) because there is a lot to cover and I want to let you know in a clear way why I think that what Winick wrote works beautifully for Jason. I will try to answer this as coherently as I can, so I will talk about the points you made in your ask separately so I make sure I don’t forget anything.

Let’s begin!

“Why would Jason not care about the world?”

I assume with that you meant about what happened in Bludhaven when Chemo was dropped there by the Society? That is valid but that really wasn’t Winick’s fault (I believe), that whole thing was shown in the book because back then the Bat-related books were more interconnected and that was what was happening in Dick’s Nightwing run at the time, which I think was used to explain why Dick suddenly stopped helping Bruce in Gotham.

And then I think Jason and Bruce watching that happen when they were having that conversation on that roof was very well planned out. I think Winick used that opportunity for Jason to be his peak level of little shit and make Bruce feel bad about not arriving in time to save another one of his kids. Even though Jason later revealed that he never blamed Batman for not arriving in time to save him, I believe Jason said that about Dick to make Bruce hurt more. Jason was trying to make Bruce stay in Gotham so either Bruce or him killed the Joker that night. Winick on the other hand had to finish his story, him branching out and having Batman go to Bludhaven would have benefited absolutely no one either, and it just didn’t fit the story that was being told in Under the Red Hood.

That’s why I think that Jason reacted that way to the Bludhaven and Chemo situation. If by caring about the world you meant something else let me know! (He obviously cared about Gotham in UtRH and other people in Lost Days).

“Why would he take over the drug trade of all things considering his history?”

Well, I have to be honest with you Jason wanting to control the drug trade in Gotham makes absolute sense to me, and even more when I think about Jason’s past history.

Jason and Bruce have always been (to me) clear opposites in various angles, and in UtRH, Winick talks about that a little bit too.

Batman was created to eradicate crime from Gotham after Bruce witnessed the death of his parents, that was the tragedy that set him off, and even though it was tragic and awful he had everything outside of his parents, he had a home, a support system, people that cared and gave him love, and money. He never had to be in contact with the cruel reality that was Gotham. We know through various stories that Gotham is deeply rotten and corrupted.

But Jason did know how corrupted, rotten and devoid of hope his city really was, he lived in the streets and in an abandoned apartment alone because he didn’t trust the police or social workers (he didn’t believe the system was helpful). He had seen his mother die at the hands of drugs after his father was sent to jail due to his criminal behaviour. Probably his father was a drug dealer and was the person that got his mother into drugs, (I believe that was later made canon, I might be wrong). But why did he do that? Maybe because he came from a poor and complicated background and nobody wanted to employ him so the real bad people of Gotham, like Black Mask, Cobblepot and many others, saw his vulnerability and his desperation to make money and they gave him a job as a drug dealer.

Considering that Jason was made out to have very deep problems with people selling drugs in schools and all that, I can estimate that maybe one of the big Drug Lords at the time employed Jason’s father when he was barely a teenager, that way he earned money, he stopped going to school and sold drugs to his peers so the bad people could control more people while they were vulnerable.

If all of that is true then Jason wanting to control the drug trade in Gotham, by becoming a Drug Lord himself, makes perfect sense to me. I mean let’s talk about this, what were his other options?

Kill every drug lord?

What if that set off a gang war in Gotham over who got to be the next big Drug Lord? I mean, it would be like real life, if someone dies in that sort of position there would always be someone else to take their place. Drugs are clearly (in Gotham) a great way to get money and power.

Also, if he killed all the drug lords then what happened to the people that were working for them, how could Jason help them get another job?

Explode every warehouse and facility with drugs in them?

And then what? Wait for Black Mask and the others to buy more and put a target on his back? Maybe kill some innocents so they can send a message to Red Hood that if he keeps destroying their drugs or whatever people will pay for it?

Maybe all the drug lords would come together and kill the Red Hood themselves, what could one man do against everyone else? Black Mask and the others had vulnerable people on a payroll, if they stopped working or went against what their boss said they would have been killed and then families would still be vulnerable and desperate to survive in Gotham.

Come forward as Jason Todd, the not so dead son of Bruce Wayne, and start a campaign against drugs?

Jason would have ended up dead in seconds, everywhere you look there are corrupt people. What could have been the point of that? What could have Jason be able to give families like his so they could stop living under the control of drugs and Drug Lords?

Jason being a Drug Lord himself was the best option because Jason KNOWS the reality of Gotham and Gotham’s people. His way of dealing with drugs could control the drug trade in the first 10 years and then eradicate it after that time. His plan was genius!

Jason knew that for people not to suffer as his family did, he had to take the slow and hard path of becoming the thing that he hated the most. He needed to attack the monster from within. So, when he made his first move he controlled the street-level dealers, he told them “I will protect you from both Black Mask and Batman if you stop dealing drugs to kids and in schoolyards if you do that, you are dead”, it is genius! By being clear about not wanting to have kids and high schoolers involved with drugs he set out a new path where those people weren’t forced into drugs and driven away from school. And that’s the way Winick made us see Jason’s not so new morals, he protects Gotham’s kids and he will kill you without hesitation if you endanger them.

From that he built, Winick made it clear, at first Jason would convince the people working for other Drug Lords to work for him if they followed his rules (and he offered them protection!). If Jason worked on the drug trade, he could have controlled who was inserted in the drug life or could have made it exclusive to the rich or club exclusive. In his intention of taking over the drug trade, he could have moved drugs away from Gotham’s most vulnerable.

And if he employed those vulnerable people, he would have made them work for him on other levels, that way those vulnerable people still had jobs and were protected from people like Black Mask. And in due time, fewer young and poor people would be involved with drugs or the drug trade.

Red Hood employs poor people and makes them not sell to other poor people or kids, he pays his employees good money so their families make a better life for themselves and their kids go to school, they are all protected by the Red Hood and his team (Jason could have trained others and make a team or gang that focused entirely on security), those people then get to retire with their families far away from drugs and maybe Gotham too.

I mean, Winick never did those things but I think that was the way he was thinking about it, he really set a golden path for future writers, his story had to finish Jason’s dilemma with Bruce and Joker but then his life as the Red Hood continued. And it could have been good if other writers used the characterization that Winick had given Jason: protector of children, killer of rapists and everyone that endangered women, children and teenagers. All of that was thrown away for a mythical fight with Ra’s al Ghul for people that were as trashy as Ra’s.

“I feel like Winick had a very surface-level understanding of Jason”.

I have to disagree. I think he understood Jason’s character before his death well and then built a grown-up version of him with those morals more developed after he suffered more and then saw how the world and Batman’s ways hadn’t changed after his murder.

We are talking about post-crisis Jason here; he was sweet and he loved being Robin but he also saw the world differently from Bruce and Batman. He lived a very different life than the one that Bruce lived when he was a kid. Jason even said that he “could fend for himself just fine” and that he had “graduated from the streets of crime alley”.

To me Winick understood this completely, he knew that Jason had had close contact with how drugs could affect people and what a criminal record could lead you to, but he also understood that Jason was a survivor of "crime alley" and all its worst people. He probably knew of things that people were doing of he saw them happening. He knew how to protect himself from those things but understood that not everyone could do it. And when Batman took him to Ma Gunn’s school Jason learned that Batman was ignorant of how awful and manipulative Gotham’s people could be. Ma Gunn wasn’t running an orphanage or cool school; she was teaching children how to steal and harm others. He hated it, he was “okay” when he was alone and now, he was locked in with older kids that beat him and Ma Gunn who was exploiting children’s vulnerability.

I assume Winick took that and maybe decided that was the moment when Jason knew that even if Batman was trying to do good, he still didn’t see Gotham (or that side of Gotham) for what it truly was.

When Jason became Robin and worked along with Batman, we could already see that Jason thought very differently about what should be done with rapists, and abusers of all kinds, Jason saw the world differently when he was a kid and a teenager and then after his death, Winick used that to build a Jason Todd that as a young adult still saw Gotham for what it truly was.

“There was a lot of his past to explore but it wasn’t explored that deeply”.

I am really confused by this (and I am very dumb), did you mean that his past before his death wasn’t explored? Because that was not the point of this book, the information was already there with Jason’s previous appearances in comics, and even then, Winick explored through flashbacks in UtRH how he saw Jason and what it was that Jason thought about crime.

If you didn’t mean that and you meant his past before the events of UtRH but after his death then, well, I would say that Winick couldn’t have fit that in UtRH but he did write a story about that time in 2010 when he wrote Red Hood: Lost Days.

“I absolutely hated his Bruce and Talia characterization”

I will only talk about the Bruce part here because you mentioned Talia later in your ask.

To me his Bruce was perfect. I really think that his characterization of him was spot on, but maybe I am biased because I don’t like Bruce at all? I suppose that you are talking about Bruce’s characterization in those last moments in "crime alley" with Jason and Joker? And how he decided that making Jason drop the weapon by throwing a batarang to his throat and saving Joker was a better option than Jason killing the Joker?

If it is that then I would love to see what you think Bruce would have done at that moment because I didn’t really see Bruce using a gun (in any way) as an in-character thing for him, and even though DC has always danced with the idea of Bruce actually killing somebody I know that they wouldn’t have him do it, and even less when it comes to killing the Joker.

I mean, Bruce brought back Joker from the dead when Dick finally killed that piece of shit so, yeah, I don’t know.

I feel like Winick was trying to show just how loyal and squared Bruce is when it comes to his own no killing rule. Jason wasn’t asking for Bruce to go on a killing spree he just wanted Bruce to kill the Joker and he didn’t. Winick even had Bruce say that about him not wanting to kill one person because he felt that if he did that, he wouldn’t be able to stop and I think that’s pretty true. Maybe it is a bit too much but I don’t think it’s a lie.

“How he wrote Talia in both UtRH and Lost Days was absolutely disgusting”

That is absolutely valid, listen, if you didn’t like how he wrote her at all I really can’t say anything against that. My first real and solid contact with Talia’s character was in that book, so when I read UtRH I really liked how he wrote Talia in that, it seemed to have that aspect of Talia’s love for Bruce being so strong that when she saw Jason was alive, she wanted to help him so Bruce could see how much he loved her. It is messed up but I believed it fitted her character, she had good intentions but her reasoning was a little bit wonky.

With Lost Days, I thought that her character was well written, she isn’t a hero and she isn’t a villain, she is just a player in the game that is the League of Assassins and that world. That obviously changed up until we had that scene happen between her and Jason, I was grossed out and I didn’t understand why that had happened which leads me to what you said next in your ask.

“His explanation for why he did it was that Jason loves Talia and that they were both messed up people”.

This is a part of the interview where Judd Winick answered a question about Jason and Talia sleeping together. The interview was done by Sara Lima in ComicVine’s podcast.

“SL: Why did you decide to write the romantic scene between Jason and Talia in Lost Days?

JW: For those playing at home, Jason Todd, at the end of Red Hood: Lost Days, and Talia slept together. I did that because it was really disturbing and to shine a light on the fact that these are not really well people. A lot of people didn’t like that, which was correct. “You weren’t supposed to like that. That was supposed to be, ‘oh God, stop that, what are you doing?’ It really was. As well as, for Talia, her reasons, being that Bruce had wound up inadvertently killing her father and she was ragingly angry with him and went from love to pure hate and still loving him at the same time. And Jason, given the opportunity to have sex with just about the only woman who Bruce has had sex with or really cares about, ‘Yeah, I’ll go there.’

SL: He’s like, ‘yeah, cause I hate that guy.’

JW: Yeah! ‘I hate that guy!’ And I think that Jason probably had the hots for Talia. She’s hot, he doesn’t exactly have a lot of relationships going on – It’s not a good thing for either of them. These are two people who murder people, two people who are screwed up, screwed up emotionally. There’s this question that why would he do that and Talia only loves Bruce. She might only love Bruce, but she does have sex with other people because that’s just sex. And we’re all grown-ups here. I think those who shake their fist and get angry at this kind of thing might be some of our older readers. I’m an older reader, but I acknowledge the fact that people aren’t that chaste and grow up: people have sex. That’s why I ended it like that; It was messed up.

Maybe it was in another interview or something but this is the only time that I have seen Winick talk about that and I don’t think he mentioned Jason loving Talia but he did say said that “These are two people who murder people, two people who are screwed up, screwed up emotionally”.

When I looked it up, I found that someone that is described as screwed up is a person that is “emotionally disturbed”. That description is one that I feel is valid for both Jason and Talia at the time, they both had a lot going on and were fighting some demons so maybe it’s not a nice thing to say but I can’t say that the statement isn’t true. Or at least that’s how I see it.

When I came across that interview for the first time, I wasn’t expecting Winick to apologise for writing that interaction but I did want an explanation so after he said, “A lot of people didn’t like that, which was correct. “You weren’t supposed to like that. That was supposed to be, ‘oh God, stop that, what are you doing?’ It really was” and “for Talia, her reasons, being that Bruce had wound up inadvertently killing her father and she was ragingly angry with him and went from love to pure hate and still loving him at the same time. And Jason, given the opportunity to have sex with just about the only woman who Bruce has had sex with or really cares about, ‘Yeah, I’ll go there.’”

I felt like that was enough, granted I didn’t like it and I still don’t like it but I don’t see it as Winick writing something disturbing with evil intentions, I just see it as him writing these two morally grey people doing some very morally grey stuff.

This is not me saying that this is how things have to be taken, I know and understand many people who absolutely don’t like this at all and that’s valid. I am not here to change your mind about that, personally when I read the why he wrote that I felt like that explanation was enough but that is just me.

“I feel like he was a one-hit-wonder because ever since UtRH his Jason story started to go downhill”

I think Winick was only meant to write Jason’s comeback to comics, around the time he was writing Outsiders and Green Arrow. And there was also the “Infinite Crisis” (Winick wasn’t involved with that one) event going on in the middle that explained some stuff like how Jason was resurrected which was explored in Batman Annual #25 in 2006 (like a year after the UtRH book had come out and it was also written by Winick). Then with the popularity of the UtRH book the animated movie was made (written by Judd Winick) and because that was coming out DC allowed Winick to write the six-issue mini of Red Hood: The Lost Days in 2010.

The UtRH story didn’t go downhill, DC simply couldn’t handle that level of mature storytelling at the time, just after that event ended DC was already planning on changing stuff and then the New 52 came years later.

Winick’s Jason even made an appearance in Outsiders #44-46, there Red Hood wanted to help the Outsiders break out a good man (Black Lightning) out of prison because he hadn’t killed anyone (it had actually been Slade). Jason/Red Hood’s characterization and story going downhill wasn't on Winick, it was on DC and their lack of interest in making their characters complex and dual.

“DC doesn’t know how to write a character that’s from a poor background and that’s a huge disservice to Jason”

Absolutely. But in my case, I do think that Winick did work with Jason’s background very well. To me, he set a path and no one could follow it but I might also be horribly wrong.

I also hope that Rosenberg does an amazing job! I absolutely love his work, as I have said before he is super funny and isn’t scared of writing characters who kill. I feel like he will bring back the sarcastic little shit that Jason once was but he will also bring back that sense of seriousness and dedication that Jason has for the work that he is doing. Rosenberg even showed us some of that in that prelude to Task Force Z in Detective Comics, I absolutely recommend them if you haven’t read them, issues #1041 and #1042 were the ones with that backup story.

I can see that we have very different opinions but that’s just a part of the comic world, we all perceive these comics differently and that’s valid! I am glad you enjoy reading my posts and I hope that even though we have those different opinions you were still able to enjoy my answer! If you think that I misunderstood anything that you say please let me know, sometimes my brain just doesn’t click.

Hope you have a fantastic week!

#jason todd #red hood #robin jason todd #utrh #red hood lost days #jasons characterization #dc comcis #asksss

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slightlyrebelliouswriter23 · 4 years ago

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hey so i'm hoping to get some writing advice about creative burnout? like i seem to write in fits and spurts. some months i can churn out a oneshot or chapter everyday and some months i can do one (1) creative thing only. so i'm wondering how to prevent creative burnout and how to just create more smoothly <3 thank you!

Creative Burnout & How To Ward Against It

First, I’d like to preface this all by saying you’re definitely not alone. You probably already know this, but sometimes it’s nice to be reminded.

I know from personal experience that creative burnout can leave you feeling hopeless, detached from yourself—the kind of identity crisis no one needs in 2020.

So buckle in, folks. It’s a dosy.

I. The Symptoms

Not to be the local WebMD page here, but signs of burnout can include:

Procrastination (more than usual)

Dreading writing and feeling stuck or overly perfectionistic when you try

Physical tiredness and/or irritability

Feeling like everything is monotonous

It’s more than just writer’s block. It’s a physical and emotional exhaustion response to something that goes deeper than a simple lack of inspiration. In my experience, and from a bit of research, I’ve found that what your brain is really looking for is dopamine.

Dopamine is essentially your brain’s chemical reward system for doing something interesting or exciting to you. As someone who is diagnosed with ADHD, I have chronically low levels of dopamine, so this is a constant struggle for me—but it is absolutely made worse by creative burnout.

II. The Problem

Studies have shown that the more we do A Thing the less that thing will give us dopamine (unless a component of the activity changes regularly). This is because eventually our brains desensitise to the stimuli provided by the activity, and subsequently, we become disengaged.

But it’s not necessarily The Thing (i.e. writing) that becomes boring. Actually, more than a few factors could be at play here, and the first step to finding a solution is to identify the problem.

1. ENVIRONMENT LACKS EXCITEMENT/CHANGE—

Sometimes, the monotony of everyday life can feed creative burnout. This becomes especially applicable in quarantine when you’re not leaving your house.

What we don’t realise is that even something as small as the variables of driving to and from work, or interacting with passing coworkers, gives us dopamine. So if you have the same routine every day that does not involve any added variables, your brain will begin staunching that dopamine supply.

2. EITHER TOO EASY OR TOO CHALLENGING—

In 1975, Hungarian-American psychologist, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, coined the term “flow”, which refers to a heightened state of creativity and concentration on an activity. Csikszentmihalyi posited that if your skill level is equal to the level of challenge in any given activity, you will experience this state of flow.

The chart below is taken from Csikszentmihalyi’s own study on the subject of flow and motivation. It examines “your skill level” on the x axis in relation to the “challenge level” on the y axis.

Essentially:

Too much challenge + not enough skill = anxiety, worry (which might lead to procrastination and perfectionism)

Too much skill + not enough challenge = boredom, apathy (which might lead to monotony, irritability, and other depression-like symptoms)

Skill level = Challenge level = Flow

3. NOT ENOUGH “ACTIVE” STIMULATION—

When it comes to dopamine seeking, there is a distinct difference between active and passive stimulation in the brain.

Active stimulation is any form of activity that you have to actively engage in. For instance; exercising, doing a crossword puzzle, or reading a book. These kinds of activities not only give you dopamine, they also facilitate critical thinking and problem solving thought processes, which act as catalysts for creativity.

Passive stimulation, on the other hand, comes in the form of television, social media, and YouTube. It’s anything you can consume without having to actively engage. Passive stimulation will indeed give your brain dopamine, however, it won’t activate your creativity.

The problem also lies in the speed at which you receive the dopamine from passive activities. Passive stimulation is so easy to access that the more you consume, the harder it becomes to pick up active stimulation. Your brain expects a hit of dopamine just by picking up a phone or turning on the TV—it becomes addicted to the quick fix of a Netflix binge.

III. The Solutions

Based on the problems mentioned above, I am going to list a few solutions. Keeping in mind that not every solution will work for everyone, these can act as both preventative measures and remedies for someone who is currently burned out.

1. CHANGE UP YOUR ENVIRONMENT/ROUTINE—

Aim to do at least one thing per day that will add “variables” to the monotony. This can be as simple as going on a long walk, dressing up in that bold outfit you always wanted to wear to the office but never did, or sitting at a different workspace in your home.

Anything you can do that’s simple, but might provide an extra variable to your day to spice things up. Note: this shouldn’t be the same thing every day.

2. CHALLENGE YOURSELF MORE—

If you find yourself bored by your work, try challenging yourself more. This could mean setting goals for yourself that go a bit beyond what you’ve been doing.

For example, if you’ve been writing 500 words per day, see if you can beat your own word count every day for the next week. If you’ve been writing mainly fluff pieces, switch it up and do an angst piece. See if you can write a book in a month, or start a blog where you don’t write fiction at all!

Anything you can do to add a little kick to your workload. Note: Beware of challenging yourself too much! This can lead straight back into burnout.

3. CHALLENGE YOURSELF LESS—

If you’re on the flip side of that coin, and find that you are anxious, procrastinating, and perfectionistic when it comes to writing, fret not. Just because you’re experiencing any of these things, doesn’t mean you’re incapable of doing the job with your skillset.

It just means your perception of the job needs to be shifted.

Procrastination, at its heart, is a fear of failure, which results in actively avoiding the negative emotions associated with the task that causes this fear. Perfectionism is a type of procrastination that is a combination of a fear of failure and a fear of success (or, more accurately, other’s critiques of your success) all at once.

Neither have anything to do with your actual skillset, but they have everything to do with your perception of your skillset. Obviously, this is a harder thing to fix, as it has to do with deeply ingrained levels of self-esteem.

What I can offer you is a tactic to trick your mind into thinking you’re capable.

If you have a task, big or small, and you are feeling overwhelmed by it (like you might go curl up in bed and scroll Tumblr), immediately break that task up into smaller tasks. Keep breaking up the smaller tasks until you have the smallest possible part of the bigger task without doing nothing.

Then do that smallest possible thing.

If your goal is to write a 2000 word one shot, a small part of that task is writing half of it. An even smaller part of that task is breaking the one shot up into “scenes” and writing one scene. For instance:

Jude wakes up to a sore throat, a runny nose, and a fever.

She tries to go to work, but Cardan, being the mother hen that he is, threatens to never make her another grilled cheese sandwich (her favourite food) ever again if she doesn’t stay home.

Jude agrees begrudgingly, and Cardan sits her down in front of the TV with a bottle of Gatorade. He leaves to go get medicine from the store.

When Cardan comes back, Jude is worse than before. He makes her soup and saltine crackers and spoon feeds her.

She complains the whole time and, in her feverish state, threatens to never buy him another bottle of wine (his favourite food) ever again if he doesn’t let her feed herself.

Each bullet point represents one “scene” of about 200-400 words each. Obviously, there will be more details that you work out as you write. But with these five smaller scenes, your goal is no longer writing the 2000 word one shot. Your goal is writing the first of the five scenes.

If you complete the smallest possible task, you can stop, and you’ll still feel like you’ve accomplished something because you can cross off that task from your list. But chances are, by the time you cross off one task, you may have inspiration enough to keep going.

4. ENGAGE IN ACTIVE STIMULATION—

Since active stimulation has been proven to turn on the creative “tap”, try incorporating more of these activities into your daily routine:

Exercise: As the resident couch potato, I hate to say that exercising is good for creativity, but it is. Even if it’s just going on a short walk, so long as you’re moving.

Reading: Sometimes you have plenty of ideas, but no words to fit those ideas. Fill your well of words by carving out an hour or two each day for reading a good book.

The Creative Process: In the writing world, the creative process is a process of about 20-30 minutes that the writer partakes in every day before they start writing. This process should be creative, but also have nothing to do with writing. You can try colouring in a colouring book, painting, organising a page in your bullet journal. Anything that is creative but does not make you think about everything you have to do that day. Think of it as creative meditation.

Listen to music: Having APD, I personally can’t listen to music while I write. However, studies have shown that if you listen to at least ten songs per day, it will significantly benefit your dopamine levels and overall mood. If you’re like me and prefer to work in silence, maybe stick on a couple songs during your creative process. If you can manage music and writing together, get out those headphones!

5. KEEP A REGULAR SCHEDULE—

I know this is the most cliche point in the book, but it’s valid. This doesn’t mean do the same thing at the same time every day over and over, because ultimately we’re looking to avoid monotony.

But having pillars of structure to bolster the excitement can definitely work to keep you from slipping into burnout. Going to sleep, waking up, and having your meals at relatively the same time every day are good examples of this.

Feel free to change up the things you do between breakfast and lunch, but make sure you have those pillars of consistency so your brain knows that a break is on the horizon and doesn’t get tired.

6. PACE YOURSELF—

This is particularly difficult for those of us who are coming out of a creative burnout, but I urge you to pay special attention to this one. If we are suddenly hit by inspiration and the writing is flowing and flowing and flowing, eventually we will hit the point of highest dopamine capacity for writing.

Not putting a check on the flood of inspiration coming out of a creative burnout, I’d argue, is actually a guarantee that many of us will experience burnout all over again. It becomes this vicious cycle in which we are trapped.

While it feels great to write non-stop and receive immediate validation for that work, try to limit yourself to how much you’re writing and how immediately you post your writing (if you plan on posting it).

Whenever I finish a one shot or a chapter of something, I like to allow at least one day for editing before I post. This timeframe is important, because it acts as a buffer of rest between writing marathons.

You can take however long you need for the editing process, but definitely make sure you have a set amount of time in place. Otherwise, your brain might not have enough time to come down from what is essentially a writing high, and you will always need to reach greater heights in order to achieve that same level of dopamine.

~~~~

Overall, the most important things to take away from all of this are:

Change up your environment

Keep your brain actively stimulated

Have pillars of structure between which you can run about chaotically to your heart’s content

PACE YOURSELF!

Hope this helped. Happy writing!

-Em 🖤🗡

Writing Tip Masterlist

Fic Masterlist

Celebrate 2K with me!

#this one was a spiritual one y'all #thanks for the ask babes!#writing #writing tips #writing advice #writeblr #writing tip masterlist #writer #writer's desk #writer's life #writer's problems #writer's block #ao3 #fanfiction #creative burnout #asked and answered #em answers #danaanruhn #thank you for 2k!! 🥳💜

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bansept · 3 years ago

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Ichihime Week | Day 1: Flowers

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Ichigo scratched his head, his thoughts running wild in his head as he stared at the internet research. Once upon a time, he fell in love, started to date the woman who loved him back and all was well in the most beautiful of many worlds. Honestly, everything with Orihime, now that they were officially together, was marvelous. Waking up, while it was fastidious before, was oh so sweet now. Going to his work, taking a meal, hell, even walking in the streets was a source of unlimited happiness if his beautiful girlfriend was by his side.

Not everything was all shiny and butterflies though: with some occasional “fights” between them, and moments of silence that go with the dating experience, Ichigo was always left feeling guilty. Everyone assumed it was for no reason, since it was normal to chew a bone occasionally. But then, the same people had not been the greatest of help finding the perfect way to reveal his feelings for the auburn beauty, and the young man had to it alone, so, he’d rather not listen to unexperienced dead souls.

A few days ago, Ichigo had been a dick. An unpleasant one. After a long day of listening to nonsense sputtered by tiny kids, who did not want to obey the requests of “an orange top man” and stretch properly otherwise they would be in pain, having the same remarks from an older sensei about his lack of smile and being drenched to the bone because of sudden rain, Ichigo had been exhausted. So much he had grumbled at Orihime, and made her feel like she was bothering him by welcoming him with open arms when, quite exactly, it was the opposite. But, of course, with his greatest weapon – grumpiness – he had managed to push her away, shut this enlightening smile of hers. She had forgiven him later, shrugging it off as “it’s just a bad day, it happens from time to time”.

So now, ashamed of his behavior, feeling unworthy to even look at her without a proper apology, he was asking to google what to do. A few ideas popped in his mind, but one can never be too sure about them.

Flowers. They could mean someone carrying their courage and revealing the truth about their feelings. They could mean an apology, a vibrant “I’m sorry” as well as a desire to remain close. Very good.

It was stormy outside, once again. This time equipped with a large umbrella, Ichigo walked to the ABCookies bakery, frowning at how utterly impossible it was to hide the bouquet of bright white and soft orange flowers with the green herbs surrounding them. People glanced at him, mumbling about how he was either trying to be forgiven for something or trying to have a good night. He ignored them, stopping at the corner of the shop.

Deep breaths. He could do it. He had to. Orihime would forgive him for almost anything, because she loved him deeply, but he would man up and truly deserve forgiveness.

The door opened with the sound of a light bell, right above the door, and Orihime was not to be seen behind the counter. Ichigo frowned, the other worker stopping in his tracks to stare at a tall, orange-haired and clearly confused man.

“Can… I help you with anything?”

Ah. So that guy in the work clothes was obviously new. Great. Ichigo walked closer to the desk, the sound of his shoes in the silent room making it look like he was ready to fight someone.

“Could you tell me where Orihime Inoue is? I have to talk to her.” He requested, nicely and politely.

The man, shorter than him, obviously sporting fewer muscles, looked him up and down, then at the flowers, then at his face.

“Who’s asking her? I’m pretty sure those flowers won’t make you have a date with her.” He questioned, crossing his arms over his chest to look scary, Ichigo guessed.

That little… The Substitute Shinigami breathed in deeply, opening his eyes wider to not yell at the young man, who was probably just doing his job and protecting his co-worker from, maybe, yet another dude asking Orihime for something…

“I’m her boyfriend. Could you please tell her that Ichigo is here? It’s rather important.”

The man behind the counter squinted his eyes at Ichigo, not trusting him, but still going to the back to ask for Hisayo, the “boss” of the co-workers, eldest and responsible of the shop. Who knew Ichigo and shook her head when she saw him standing there like an idiot.

“Yeah, Hiro, he’s right. Orihime and he are dating. Let him through next time, otherwise he’ll scare the clients away.” She chuckled, but her face was unamused, remembering how complicated it had been to convince everyone that no, he wasn’t from a gang and yes, her clients were safe, a few months ago.

The orange-haired man nodded at her and walked at the back of the bakery, in the resting room. There, he saw Orihime enjoying a little snack she had made in the morning, licking her fingers to not waste a drop of wasabi and red bean paste.

“Hime…” He talked, surprising her and making her face him, face full of food. Ichigo tried not to laugh at the spectacle, walking up to her and lowering himself down, crouching to meet her incredulous eyes.

“Ichigo? What are you doing here? I’m supposed to get back to work in 5 minutes…” She wondered, raising her hand to touch his hair and caress it.

“I know, I’m sorry I’m perturbing your time off. But… Listen, I’m so sorry for snapping at you the other day. I was tired, drenched and pissed off, and while none of that excuses my behavior, it still is what happened. Because of my bad mood, I downgraded yours too. Made you feel bad… Which I swore never to.”

He placed the flowers in front of him, right under her nose for her to smell, and her eyes widened again, mouth gaping.

“Ichigo… Really, it’s fine! I told you I understood that you were in a pissy mood the other day. You didn’t need to buy those…” She tried to refuse them, but her eyes had left him to stare intently at the tiny blossoms of white anemones, dahlias and soft orange geraniums. Her boyfriend really was… so many things, from sweet, kind to caring and atrociously scared of hurting her feelings. She needed to reassure him, tell him all was fine.

The young man in front of her watched as she accepted the bouquet with a hand and taking his in her left hand, intertwining their fingers together.

“I know I might be overdoing it… But everyone and everywhere, people say that one tiny thing can ruin a relationship if it’s not tended to, so I want to apologize for every time I’m a dick to you. I… Don’t want to lose you because of my bad temper.” He admitted, blush on his cheeks as if he was mortified to admit this out loud.

Orihime smiled gently, sniffing the flowers for a bit before lowering the bouquet on the table, far from her leftovers, to take Ichigo’s face in her hands, kissing him on the cheek.

“You won’t lose me because you grumbled. Or because you don’t talk to me for an hour. Or something close to that. I’ve known you for years and years, and that behavior is part of who you are, and I love it as much as I love your eyes, your hair or your hands. It’s part of you, and I would be a terrible person to ask you to change that. So… Everything is fine.”

Her eyes were shining like two gems, tiny droplets shaking in them as he nodded his head, hugging her close.

As the two enjoyed their time together, the feeling of being understood and cared for, the other workers left them have their sweet moment together. Ichigo thought, with a smile, he had done a good job bringing flowers with him, if Orihime’s attempts to touch them over and over again was a sign to take into account.

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Well, well, well. Here it is! Day one of IH week 2021!

I decided to pick “flowers” because I wanted to write something cute but realistic. I think a lot about the thoughts and little scary moments Ichigo can imagine in his big head about his girlfriend, and how insecure that might make him. He might be Soul Society’s savior, he’s still a human boy that never got any kind of indication on how to act around women his age, and certainly not around his own girlfriend.

Flowers can be something cute, romantic, erotic, sad, desperate and so many more things. I decided to go with the meaning of the three flowers I chose: anemones, dahlias and geraniums. Go look them up on internet lol

Thank you for reading this! See you tomorrow for Day 2 hehe

#bleach #ichihime #ihweek2021 #ichigo kurosaki #orihime inoue #ichigo x orihime

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geshertzarmeod · 4 years ago

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In Other Lands Character Arcs

(Spoilers Abound)

I’m thinking about how the character arcs of all three main characters from In Other Lands center largely on moving away from what their families expected of them, even as each of them doesn’t necessarily think moving away from that is possible. And how it’s their relationships with each other that help them move in the directions they actually want to move in, and believe in their abilities to forge their own paths and lead fulfilling lives. Even if it’s not what their parents or home communities think a fulfilling life entails. This culminates in their refusal (along with Golden) at the end of the book, to let anyone else influence them when it comes to deciding where to be stationed. They’re ready to choose their own paths, together.

There’s something deeply appealing to me about this as a queer person, even as queerness (as defined by orientation or gender) is not actually a central factor in the shifting of each character’s relationship with their families. Actually, the character who comes closest to that is Serene, who is presumedly straight, but whose pushback against the rigid gendered expectations of her society so challenge her community that she and Golden are essentially banished at least for a time. This is only tangentially queer, I’d say, because she does this not for herself, as she seems to proudly fit & identify with elven womanhood, but recognizes the false limiting of manhood within her society and fights fiercely for Luke, Elliot, and eventually Golden, who I’d say is GNC for sure. For Luke, it’s not his being gay but his being monogamous and waiting longer than they expected (though he’s like, still 17!!! that’s still young!!!) to become sexually or romantically active that is off-putting to his family. For Elliot, his father is shocked not to see him with a man, but to see him happy (cue my tears).

I was just thinking this after reading Girl, Serpent, Thorn especially, but I really love when queer books parallel queer narratives of shame and struggle and difference and growing pains, with queer characters, but about issues unrelated to their being queer (especially when they’re about magical/fantasy elements). Then we get to relate to queer characters and see them process a lot of the feelings we have experienced, but also get to see them be loved and value and supported unconditionally in their queerness. Anyway, for an individual analysis:

Luke Sunborn

First, because I know a lot of people might not have read it, I’m going to quote Luke’s perspective from Wings In The Morning:

There were reasons Luke hadn’t kissed anybody. The Sunborns, as a family, loved life and loved love, and treated it as a game. It was fine for them: it worked for them.

Luke had always known that a riot of brightness and different loves and leaving someone laughing was beyond him. He wanted kindness and steadiness: he did not want someone who would leave. He wanted love that would last. (location 2527 in my kindle book, I can’t tell what page)

Luke, the Sunborn champion, expected to excel in battle, and love (read: have sex) freely and easily and non-monogamously, becoming an avid reader because of Elliot - something his father is shocked by and a little ashamed of. Learning Elvish because of both of them. Breaking border camp rules, threatening superior officers, to protect Elliot, and to support Serene, even as he continually complains about it and, on paper, would always argue that those choices are Not Okay and Very Bad. Luke, whose bashful shyness around his crushes, whose concern over his first kiss, whose choice of Elliot as a partner, is incomprehensible to his family, snapping, “I don’t want anyone else,” at the elves. He’s chosen Elliot, even as Elliot still doesn’t at all believe it at that point, and he’s happy with that decision. Elliot’s his choice, and only Elliot. Notorious Sunborn sexual voracity be damned.

Luke’s journey is also largely about him working through his external, and later internalized, biases against magical creatures. It’s pretty clearly an analog to xenophobia, and Luke expresses more disgust, disdain, or fear, the more different a culture is from the one he grew up in. This obviously becomes internalized against himself, when he realizes he is half-harpy. He literally represses his wings from coming out, he sees harpies as monsters and includes himself within this. It’s awful, and it’s sad, and it’s a mixture of Elliot’s meticulous research and adamant arguments that harpies are people, and that Luke isn’t a monster at all (and neither are harpies and other non-human creatures), and Serene’s calm acceptance of him, that helps him move through this.

This xenophobia, although clearly ingrained since childhood, don’t seem to be coming primarily from his family (certainly not from his mother) but from the culture of the borderguard in general. To me, it is implied that his father might at least casually buy into a lot of this, although he would never extend it to his son. It also is an interesting dynamic as related to the other two’s relationships with family, because Luke coming to love and accept himself, and to open his mind about non-human creatures, is actually him coming closer to his mother, rather than moving away. In my view, a part of why he bought in so clearly to this prejudice coming from the general bordercamp culture is because he was pushing away from his parents in the first place - he saw his parents being so wild and free in a way he knew he could never be that he pushed himself into the opposite side, into “reason” and restraint and conservatism. What he needed to learn was how to hold his more “traditional” wants and needs (although like, he’s kind of wrong about that. Elliott Schafer is not the traditional kind quiet love he’s imagining, and he didn’t want that anyway) while still celebrating all of the different approaches and cultures and loves out there, and that’s what he’s learning alongside Elliot and Serene. And he does this partially because Elliot’s love for him as a half-harpy is, according to his previous beliefs, just as wild and out there as his mother’s affair with his biological father, or all of Elliot’s flirting with various magical creatures. And as he accepts Elliot’s love, he accepts that too.

Serene-Heart-In-The-Chaos-of-Battle

From the first moment we meet Serene we know she ran away from home to join the border camp. She’s chosen to join the humans, to fight alongside men, to learn about the borderlands from a human perspective and use that to create an alliance and to create peace. She enters a world where she is looked down on, where she is sexualized and punished for trying to swim shirtless, and has to fight hard to take the classes she wants and have the opportunity to prove herself as she wishes. Instead of deciding her parents and community were right and going back to the elves, she digs her heels in and with Elliot and Luke’s help, fights back, fights to excel at the border camp and make things different and better, and prove her detractors wrong.

Not only that, but she learns to respect men in a way she was not raised to do, learns to treat men as equals and partners, always defending both Elliot and Luke when her community disrespects them. This prepares her for her relationship with Golden (although Elliot still helps her along a lot, especially with their written correspondence) and ends in her and Golden essentially eloping after Golden ran away to fight alongside her. It’s also important that she accepts Golden fighting alongside her. That was not at all a given, especially as even towards the middle of the book, she seems to be thinking of human men as capable of fighting and strength and other “womanly” qualities, but not necessarily believing the same of elven men. She’s chosen a nontraditional path and a GNC partner in Golden, and for the time being, her closest family is not her blood but her beautiful boyfriend, her swordsister, and her loved and loving best friend Elliot.

Elliot Schafer

Last but the opposite of least is Elliot. What Elliot learned from his family is that he will come to nothing, that he will be forgotten, and that he will not be loved. I am so angry on this child’s behalf, for the ways he was neglected not only by his parents but by everyone before Serene. The ways his father had no interest in him because all he wanted was Elliot’s mother back (and I love Elliot’s observation that even if his mother did come back, his father wouldn’t know what to do, and would not be happy). The way his teacher literally accepted a small bribe to just...... leave him at the entrance to the borderlands, and none of the students cared. The way his mother not only left when he was a child but knew who he was the second she saw or even heard about him at the bordercamp, and never bothered to tell him, or show any interest in him whatsoever.Elliot has been taught, over and over again, that he is unwanted and uncared for. That he has to go it alone, and fill his own needs.

Elliot learns to respect Commander Woodsinger and to know that while she doesn’t necessarily love him, she knows him, and appreciates who and what he is, and sees value and strength in it. She, unlike his previous teachers and school professionals, understands him, and likes him, and values him. She’s not warm, but she’s a positive presence in his life, and part of him learning to believe he has value just as he is, and not just because he spitefully decided it to go against what everyone else has told him, but because it’s actually true.

He didn’t want his parents and his peers and the adults who have let him down to be right about this, so he does dream of being loved back. But he shows himself fully prepared to be the one who loves more in relationships, especially with Serene. He’s ready, at first, to take all she’ll give him, and revel in each part of it, even if it doesn’t match up to his love for her. It’s not until the moment he turns down Serene’s final advance (when she’s clearly settling for him) that he realizes how much he wants to be chosen first. And he believes that’s possible, and worth waiting for (and that in the meantime, he will help Serene up and help her find what she truly wants too).

Elliot knows Serene loves him. She shows him he deserves love, and in his devotion to her, Elliot begins to excel and challenge himself and learn to see his brand of obnoxiousness as something that might not be everyone’s taste but isn’t inherently bad. He trusts Serene to love him, at least as a friend, but he doesn’t trust that Luke will, because Luke reminds him of all of the kids who hurt him in the past.

And that’s why the slowest arc of this whole book is probably Elliot realizing that Luke.... actually likes him. Actually wants to be around him, and enjoys his presence, and even like-likes him - loves him even. It just can’t compute for him. And so we get basically an unreliable narration for most of the book regarding Luke. Elliot’s “aha” moment about Luke rewrites years of his life, shifting his understanding of so much of their lives together. And it solidifies Elliot’s discovery that he can be loved exactly as he is, obnoxious and annoying and all. He’s found people who love him for it, and they’ve chosen him, and they’re going to stick around.

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cassava-49 · 4 years ago

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I Won't Say I'm In Love

Felix had always walled himself up to not love again and be fooled by it again. Not again, never again, but why? After building up this façade, why is it crumbling to his feet? Right, it's because of her.

A beacon of light and love. Her dark blue hair is as deep as the color of the depths of the ocean where one can swim too deep and drown by its beauty. Her bluebell eyes that are as light as the sky that can make anyone think that they were falling down from heaven as you stare deep into them. Her warm bubbly feeling that can make anyone cozy up with her and let their guard down without their knowledge.

Ever since she transferred here and joined his circle of friends he can't help but feel drawn to the warm sweet atmosphere. He can't have it again. He doesn't want to put his heart on the line again only to be broken into millions of tiny pieces like how she had. He doesn't want to hurt again with that knowledge of not getting his chances since she is already desperately in love with his dim witted cousin.

He then turned his attention to his friends who were chatting happily over lunch. Talking about some silly antics that had happened during class. But he couldn't help but watch her close her eyes as she laughed and cover her mouth. The sound of her sweet laughter was, how would the books describe it, music to his ears, tiny sweet bells that sounded at an hour of beauty. He watched as his friend Claude balanced an orange on the tip of his nose, as Allan subtly made it fall by accidentally jabbing his side.

He continued to watch the bluenette smile and laugh, not noticing the subtle glances Allegra was giving him. The bell rung, signalling the students that they had 30 minutes before classes began again. This made his friends get up and take their trays and brought it to the counter.

"Well, see you guys later," Marinette said to her friends as she headed to the art department wing for her lesson. As she left, she didn't notice the penetrating stare the blond had fixated on her back. But the blond didn't notice the looks his three friends were sharing as a grin crossed each of their faces. Felix turned around to be greeted by these suspicious grins as he let a scowl cross his face, knowing what the three would say.

"No," was all he said to the three as he stalked away. "Come on Fe. We know that you know that you like her," Allegra told him as she walked with him. "Allegra, stop it. You know that I will not love again nor put myself to it after how the past had ended," he said his petty reason. "This is not like you dude. The Felix I know would not let the past be the reason for fear and ignorance," Allan backed. "No one will ever be worth my time in that aspect. And it doesn't help that she looks like her," Felix replied in distaste of his words.

"You know that she's the earth and heaven to you. You can't just run away from your feelings cause your bad at hiding these kinds of feelings," Claude spoke. The four continued walking until they were outside the building for their food and lockers. "I have learned my lesson in loving Claude. I will not throw myself back into this cliche and have what is left in my heart torn into pieces," Felix replied as he tried to keep his face in pure frustration and his thoughts in denial. However, it wasn't entirely working mostly because of this conversation.

"You can't deny it bro, we can read you better than others and all that we can see is a lovesick puppy thinking that it was just the meat," Allan said as Allegra kept on rolling her eyes at Felix's answers. "Hon, we're not buying your bs right now. We all saw how you change around her. You definitely care for her and ever since she cracked you, you began to grow it," Allegra added. "Grow what?" Felix asked getting irritated at his friends persistent jabbings. "A love sickness that you obviously have bad," she continued with her banter.

"That is highly impossible. I am not interested in Marinette in a romantic way," Felix said trying to wrap his words in ice. "Oh, hi Netta, didn't see you there," Claude said which caused Felix to turn his attention to where the boy was, only to find their school mate Antoinette pass by. But Felix couldn't help but let a sigh of relief and disappointment cross his face. But when he turned he was faced with a poster of Marinette and her club's saying that they would be exhibiting their art and a small pageant for the young designers that will be held tomorrow, February 14. He couldn't help but stare at the bright eyed designer in her cute sailor outfit. He couldn't help but let his fantasies run wild until someone broke him out of it. "If you ask someone right now, they would definitely say that you have it bad," Allan commented as Felix scoffed. As he tried to deny and tell his treacherous heart to shut up and let his head think.

He then faced his friends with a glare and said, "Claude your department's that way." Claude then let out a huff and rolled his eyes at the blond and went to the direction Felix had been pointing. "But just face it and say that you're in love," he said as he continued walking. This made him roll his eyes at his friend and caught the scoffs of the other two. "You two just go before me. I need the bathroom," he stated as he made his way to the closest restroom. Once inside, he went into a cubicle, locking it and resting his back at the door as his stared at the ceiling. He sighed and dropped his head letting his thoughts run back to the past.

...

"Hey Felix~~," a bubbly voice called from behind. Irritation crossed his mind as he recognized that voice. The said owner of the voice took a seat next to him as he quietly made his research in the library. "What are researching on?" the bluenette asked as she looked over his notes. Annoyed by her antics, he closed his notebook and the other books as he began packing to leave the insistent girl.

But this did not stop her as she stood up from her seat and went in front of him and waved two tickets directly at his eyes. "I was wondering if you don't have anything to do later, we can go to the theatres and watch this new movie, you know the one about 'The Little Prince' I saw you reading the book and I wondered if you would like to watch it. I'd even allow you to rant about it," she said in a hopeful tone. He then saw his friend at the back giving out yes signals. He let out a sigh and said, "Fine I'll go." This made the girl smile and jumped for joy as she gave him the details.

This was the start of the simple dates and happy experiences and, to his astonishment, love. Yes, after getting to know the bubbly happy girl he started developing feelings for the young girl. After about 10 dates he finally asked her to be his girlfriend. This made the girl tear up and engulf him in a tight hug after giving him a loving kiss on the cheek.

They had such a good relationship, it even got him out of his shell, slightly. He would be caught flirting in public and show a bit of PDA. He couldn't help it, he loved her deeply and wished that their relationship would last. He loved everything about her; her personality, her blue eyes, her long dark blue hair that were tied in twin tails.

Today was their second year anniversary, they were at the Ponte des Arts, just enjoying their time as they ate ice cream. He looked at the girl at his arm and smiled as he softly spoke, "Bridgette." She then gave a hum of response and looked up at him with a half smile. This made his heart drop as he realized that there was something troubling him. "Is there something bothering you?" he asked, scared of her answer. This made the girl sigh and let go off his arm as she took his hand and looked directly into his eyes. "Do you love me, Felix?" she asked, tad uncertain. This made his eyes widen and took both of her hands and kissed her knuckles and replied, "Truly, deeply, ardently and all the words that can increase the meaning of my love for you."

As he said that he notice a hint of heartbreak pass in her eyes. Just as he feared she lowered her gaze and removed her hands from his, as she stared at the ground. He then watched her eyes well up with tears as she brought her hands to her face to cry in. This caught him off guard as he put his hands on her arms wanting to hug her. But she pushed him away, this broke his heart as he watched his girlfriend cry in front of him and not wanting to be comforted by him.

After a few more sniffles she looked him in the eyes and said in between sobs. "I-I-I'm p-pre-pregnant," she said as he felt his world shatter. But slowly rebuild and a smile appeared on his face as he said, "It's alright, I know 16 isn't the ideal age to be parents, but I'd be glad to have a family with you." He then slowly placed his hands on her shoulders as he rubbed his hands up and down her arms in a comforting manner. (Side note: the age of consent in France is 15)

This didn't comfort the girl at all as she cried more. She then looked him with sad eyes and spoke, "T-t-th-that's the th-thing. T-the b-baby i-i ---." But she wasn't able to finish when someone pulled her away from him and glared at him. "What she meant to say is, the baby's not yours," he said with a smirk. This made him give a look of confusion and then realization came dropping on him. He then remembered that they had only done it twice and he was very careful, he had a condom on and made sure that it was of good quality.

He then looked at the two in front of him and asked, "I-is it true?" This made Bridgette freeze as she recalled this tone as his frightening tone from before they had been dating. She slowly nodded, afraid of meeting his gaze. "How long has this been going on?" he asked in his icy cold voice that set fear into anyone's hearts. Unable to answer the boy next to her answered for her, "Actually we had been getting it on since last Christmas and I claimed her long before you did," the Asian man said to him. He then turned his attention back to his "girlfriend" realizing that last Christmas she went back to Seoul(Let's just say that she's Korean since MLB was first released there. Another side note: Age of consent in South Korea is 16).

"Why?" he asked. However, she wasn't able to answer as she tried to hide in the arms of the other man. This made the shards of his earlier shattered world to break more at this action. Trying to keep his cool he then said, "Congratulations. I will back down for the both of you. I wish that you find happiness with him." With that he gave the man a killer punch and walked away, not wanting to notice the look the crowd was giving him.

...

He sighed at the awful memory not wanting it to happen again. He gave her his world, his dreams and his whole being. Thinking that she would do the same, but in the end she broke him, in the last way he thought she would. As he continued to think about it he felt tears prick his eyes, to which he immediately removed. His thoughts came rushing back to Marinette's sweet smile, comforting presence and lovable companionship. This got him sighing as he whispered to himself, "I've got it bad."

The day ended and the gang regrouped as they went straight to the bakery for final fittings. Felix walked quietly by Marinette's side as she began discussing about the adjustments she'd had to make with their clothes. Allegra began gushing about how amazing her designs are even without adjustments. Allan just told her not to worry and be confident in her talent, while Claude was just asking what treats her parents were handing out. Felix on the other hand had just been admiring her talk.

"Hey Felix, you seem out today. Are you OK?" Marinette asked him as she turned her attention to him. This caught him off guard when she turned her attention to him. He only gave her a curt nod as a light blush dusted his cheeks. They then arrived at her home and were all showered with affection by her ever doting parents who insisted that they all stayed for dinner.

The group was in her room as she made a few adjustments to the clothes she's supposed to present the next day. "Maddie this is amazing. I love it," Allegra cooed as she spun around in her white dress, which had three horizontal lines at the collar of the dress and the lower part of the skirt, close to the hem. While a navy blue jacket, sailor inspired, was matched with it, and to top it off, she wore a white sailors hat with her hair curled at the bottom part. "I'm glad you love it Allegra," Marinette replied as she beamed with pride. She then turned to the boys to find them standing with each other in a pose that they probably didn't notice.

Claude wore a fit round neck white shirt with black horizontal stripes with white ankle length pants, and a black sheer scarf was placed around his neck, while a white hat with black lining topped off the look. "Do I look fat in this shirt? I feel that I look fat," he commented as he stared at the pattern, earning a laugh from the girls. "No, it doesn't. I mean you wear vertical stripes all the time," Mari commented. "You look fat all the time," Allegra added as the group laughed again.

Turning her attention to Allan, she could see that the denim fabric fitted him perfectly. The denim polo shirt with rolled up sleeves and tucked in his denim shorts, that was held by a brown leather belt made him look simple yet stylish, and just like the others he wore a captain's hat. "Well, if you feel fat, I feel like something's missing," Allan critiqued. This made Mari give a designer's look at it as she placed a finger under her chin and tilted her head to the left. "You're right, but what can make it look more complete?" she pondered as she eyed the clothing. After a second, she snapped her fingers and made her way to the other scarps of clothing she had sewn. "No, no, not that one. Nope. Ah! There you are," she stated as she made her way to her model and tied a handkerchief around his neck and tucked it under the collar. "Better," she stated as she looked at the finished product.

She then looked at her last piece, which was being modeled by Felix. She blushed at the sight of him in a form fitting white blazer that was open to reveal a dark navy blue color that had white horizontal stripes covering the bottom half of the shirt. His legs seemed to look more fit at the sight of the royal blue pants seemed to be showing the wonderful shape, since it was slightly fit. Although he looked a bit confused at the clothing as if uncomfortable. This caused her to be concerned at the possible mistake. "Is the fit alright?" she asked hesitantly. "The designs are fine, but like you said, it's the fit. But it's just the blazer, it's a bit tight on my shoulders," he commented as he pointed at the points to be fixed.

"Alright, I'll get it done, but I'm going to take your measurements again just to make sure," she stated as she went over to her desk to take her measuring tape. "Maddie, you wouldn't mind if we change out of this?" Allegra asked. "Sure go ahead and feel free to—," she began but was unable to finish when she saw the three race out of the room. Realizing what they had done she felt her face heat up a little bit as she faced the blond who was taking off the white blazer and folded it nicely and placed it on the chaise.

He looked up to find that they were the only people in her bedroom. He cursed his friends quietly at the betrayal as he watched her make her way to him. She began taking his measurements but found it difficult with his height. This made him chuckle slightly, surprising the young designer at the reaction. "You know you could stand on a stool considering your short stature," he said. "It doesn't mean that you're taller than me by 6 inches I'm already short," she replied with a huff. He then bent down to her level saying, "Everyone who is shorter than me, I consider short and small."

This got him with a notebook slammed at his face as he saw an irritated Marinette. He then smirked and continued, "Considering that you are '6 inches' smaller than me, makes you seem like a cute munchkin that I can put in my pocket." He watched as she got more irritated at him as he insulted her height. He continued on bantering about her being shorter than him that he did not expect her to finally jump on him and say, "You know that fact that we only have a 6 inch gap makes it easier for me to jump on your back." The two continued roughhousing, forgetting about what they were supposed to do.

After a few more minutes of fighting, Felix got the upper hand and threw her up on her bed as he joined her and began attacking her with tickles. She began to laugh uncontrollably that she was having a difficulty to breath until she finally tapped out, which made him stop his attacks. He then got off her and laid down next to her as they began to calm down.

"Don't insult me with my height again," was all she could say before they got back to what they were supposed to be doing. "You're right, cause size doesn't matter," he jokingly replied as he turned to face her with his head propped up with his arm. This got her to roll her eyes at the blond as she also turned to face him. This was when they both became self conscious about their positions causing the two parties to blush uncontrollably.

Mari then let out a cough and said, "You should, um, y-you know, change." With that she got of the bed and began fixing the things that were out of place after their game.

...

It was the day for their clubs fashion show, and a lot of famous figures were there to watch. Well, that was to be expected from a prestigious school where most of the students were children from well off families. There they could see their parents along with their friends. But looking at the more out shining personalities in the crowd was also where they could find the Agrestes and their secretary, the Bourgeois family, Clara Nightingale, Jagged Stone and others.

Marinette can feel the excitement and the anxiety, and she can see that the rest of the club was also having the same panic. Their theme was "Summer and Beaches," with different sub themes from the designers. One designer had swimsuits, another had Hawaiin style, there was one that had a Tex-Mex theme, one was carnival themed, there was a bohemian theme, tropical, floral, animal and there was Mari's sailor theme.

She can see all of them were too anxious that they were able to dress their models to the T. There was also one of them that threw up because of the pressure. They then watched as one theme after another was called. When it came to her designs she saw the impressed looks of the audience, even from Chloe, although she probably doesn't know that it was her design. She even saw her former classmates looking at the designs as if for the first time. This pained her a bit since she made sure to incorporate her designer tag there but it doesn't seem like they noticed.

Once the show ended, the designers were called up front for their recognition. They were all trembling, nonetheless, were able to make it up front as they were applauded by their success. She could hear the excited cheers of her family and classmates and from a few personalities who seemed to be waiting for her appearance. She watched her former classmates' jaws dropped as they felt stupid not realizing that those were her designs.

After the whole exhausting show they were all dismissed as the group hugged and shook hands in congratulations. Mari was engulfed by her friends and were overly happy at her success. She hugged them backed and thanked them. They then went to their favorite cafe and celebrated. But one by one they left, leaving Marinette and Felix alone, again.

"Outstanding performance as all ways," he commented still trying to deny the rapid beating of his heart towards this girl. "Thanks, but I'd say the same for you guys, after all you guys modeled for me," she replied. This got their conversation moving and they were deeply enjoying each others company when unexpected guests came.

When they heard the door chime they didn't really mind until those people went directly to their table. Marinette froze at the sight of her former friends and classmates. She could feel Alya's glare as she stared blankly at her drink.

"Seriously Marinette, no note, no message. You just disappeared into thin air in the second semester not even telling me!" Alya exclaimed. Felix glared at the girl as he took Marinette's shaking hands into his and gave it a tight affectionate squeeze that gave her strength. Channeling her inner snarky self, she took a sip of the drink and said, "I saw no reason to tell you about it. It wasn't like I heard you all wish that I should just leave Lila for good, like transfer."

This made the rest of the class flush in guilt, except for Alya. "Really Marinette, are you going to turn yourself into the victim again. Can you stop saying that? We know that YOU wanted Lila out of school for good!" she accused. This just made Marinette look at her drink and begin tilting her cup in different directions as she answered, "Wow, you make it sound like I got Lila 'almost' expelled. It's not like I 'almost' got expelled for stealing her heirloom and taking the key to correction of our exam. Or I was the one who have that 'disease' that makes me spout out nonsense." At the end she moved her pupils to look at them to find them processing what she said.

"If that's all I think that we should go," Marinette stated as she set her finished drink down and took Felix's hand and began to leave. "Not so fast, Marinette. You are not leaving until Lila comes here and you apologize to her," Alya said as she grabbed her roughly by the arm. This infuriated Felix so he stepped in to intervene.

"Unhand her, now," he said as he glared at Alya. She in turn glared back at him and said, "Get your nose out of this." He then went fully in front of her, using his height as an advantage to intimidate her. He saw her slightly flinch but still did not comply. After showing no signs of letting go, he forcefully grabbed her wrist and tightened his grip making her let Marinette go because of the sudden pain on her wrist.

"Alya I'm here," they heard someone call. "Lila, great timing," Alya replied as she smiled and winced at the girl. She then turned back to the two and said, "Now, apologize." Marinette then asked, "For what?" This made the blogger more infuriated as she began recounting the times she had injured her, bullied her, humiliated her, insulted her, accused her and other forms of abuse. "Are you done?" she asked after she had recounted all of the 'times' she had attacked the Italian.

Before Alya could say anything, Felix cut in, "Now if you please, I would like to take my girlfriend out now. You lot have already wasted our time and disrupted our date." "I don't give a damn about your fucking date," Alya seethed as she got more frustrated by the pair. "I know, but I'm sure you are interested in keeping your reputation," he said as he pointed at the customers who were filming and whispering about them. Nino then approached his girlfriend and tried to calm her down but it didn't help, it only made her more aggressive. Blind with rage, she threw a strong punch at Marinette making her nose bleed.

Felix then clapped his hands in sarcasm, which brought the lady blogger back to her senses. "Ma-mari, I didn't, I'm sorry," she fumbled. "Ladies and gentlemen, the blogger of the Ladyblog," was all Felix can say before wrapping and arm around Mari and helping her with her nosebleed as he took her out of the building.

...

Now, the pair was seated in her room, her on the chaise and Felix on the floor as he began tending to her. Once he patched her up neatly they settled down. Marinette shift uncomfortably in her seat as she had been replaying the scene in her head. But what she couldn't get rid of was how protective Felix was when he claimed to be her boyfriend. She blushed again at the thought.

"Are you alright?" Felix asked in concern when he saw her heat up. "Y-yep, OK me, no. Me OK. Wait, I mean, I'm OK," she stammered. Felix smiled at her as he shifted uncomfortably as well trying to forget what he said in the heat of the moment.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, Mari spoke up, "So earlier at the cafe, things got out of hand didn't they." Felix only nodded not wanting this to go to that direction. Feeling his discomfort, Mari just got straight to the point. "W-when you said that I was your g-girlfriend, did you say it out of–," but before she could continue, Felix stopped her by saying, "I want you to be." This made them pause and look at each other in surprise.

This sudden realization and confession was not what Felix had in mind. So he turned his head to the other direction so to not see her face of discomfort. To his surprise, instead of rejection, he felt two arms hug his torso and a small body pressed against his side. He turned to find if it was what he think it was, Marinette hugging him tightly and resting her head on his shoulder.

"I-I'd like that," was all she could say that changed his world. Here he could see a woman who would not cheat on him for she hated liars and lying. Someone he could trust not to break his heart in the worst possible way ever. He did not see her in Marinette anymore. Now he saw the person Marinette is, a loyal friend and companion, an honest and trust worthy person who would not string him around because of guilt and displeasure.

This was all that he needed before he took her and kissed her sweetly not finding any resistance in her at all. That was all the confirmation they both needed until they found themselves sleeping next to each other, arms protectively around them and the lack of clothing was all they could think of as they relished in each other for they wanted the other more than they had wanted their pasts.

#miraculous ladybug and chat noir #felix culpa #felix pv #felinette #marinette dupain cheng #marinette x felix #quantic kids #alya salt #lila salt #class salt #allegra #allan #claude #Hercules #a bit of angst #kinda fast paced #consenting individuals

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mistaeq · 4 years ago

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stardust crusaders: with a s/o who does ballet

tw // none

contains: kujo jotaro, joseph joestar, kakyoin noriaki, muhammad avdol, jean pierre polnareff with a s/o who does ballet + nutcracker references. neutral!reader.

dora's note: this was a request from a sweet anon... i unwillingly posted it when it was unfinished and i lost the original ask because i had to delete it. if you're seeing this, i hope you enjoy it~🤍

word count: 1.9k

kujo jotaro

↳ he didn't really want to have anything to do with this ballet thing at first, but when he noticed how passionate you were about it and how much dancing meant for you, he understood it was no joke.

↳ you'd never imagine jotaro watching ballet, but he ended up gladly coming to see every performance of yours.

↳ after all, he's secretly so glad that your passion isn't something tiring for him or too loud. relaxing in front of a good performance of yours is way better for him than go traveling somewhere or even get into dance clubs.

↳ he's obviously heard of the nutcracker before, so when he hears from you that you'll have to perform in it, jotaro's gonna look up for it and make some research to be more informed about it.

↳ jotaro will never say it out loud, but all the efforts you put into ballet and into rehearsals scare him. he'd rather see you more relaxed and doesn't really know how to deal with it.

↳ he's not good at taking care of his own tiredness, go figure someone else's. but he'll definitely do his best. don't expect too many displays of affection, but he will.

↳ "i can move the sofa out of the way if you wanna have a quick rehearsal in the living room."

↳ while you do rehearse for the nutcracker, he'd spy on you from behind the book he's reading on the couch. don't ever tell him you notice that.

↳ the consequence of this, is that you'll probably find yourself in star platinum's arms as soon as you seem to be losing your balance. the man wouldn't let you fall so easily, he definitely keeps an eye on you.

↳ the man is used to you stretching your muscles almost everywhere around the house. he wouldn't be surprised if he woke up to you trying the splits even in your sleep. jotaro used to look at you as if you were alien at first, but now his mind accepted the fact that ballet dancers do be just flexible.

↳ jotaro is glad you have such a passion, so that during festivities like christmas or for your birthday, he knows ballet accessories will be appreciated. easy gift! but don't tell anyone.

joseph joestar

↳ oh gosh, joseph is such a supportive man. he's not a ballet kind of man, but it all becomes meaningless when it comes to supporting you. the man is gonna love ballet if it's you on the stage!

↳ definitely wants to try it too. he's kinda funny when he tries to dance with you, but you can tell he's doing his best.

↳ would you like to be spoilt? i hope so, because joseph is gonna use his huge amount of money to buy you unexpected gifts in the form of new ballet clothing, accessories and special pointe shoes with your name on them.

↳ when he gets to know you had a role in the nutcracker, he's on cloud nine and incredibly proud of you. he also specifies that his alarm clock's ringtone is one of the pieces from the nutcracker. oof.

↳ he's the kind of man who would help stretching your muscles or train with you. while you dance on the soothing music, he's gonna do push-ups or something for his muscles. on the soothing music.

↳ feeling responsible for a role in a piece like the nutcracker can easily be stressful. if you happen to have any breakdown, with joseph you won't be alone. he knows how to deal with you.

↳ but he also knows you don't like to rely on someone, above all on him, to be comforted. joseph always helps you and you don't want him to be overwhelmed. but he'll pull you closer using his hermit purple.

↳ "remember to dance and feel for yourself. not just to please whoever's gonna look at you."

↳ after you told him it's recommended to hit pointe shoes on the wall or scratch their bottom part, he'll always want to do that for you.

↳ he probably learns to reevaluate ballet thanks to you, your passion and the way you involve him in what you enjoy doing. if you're happy like that, then joseph is happy too, and he'll never stop reminding you that. he hasn't lost a single performance of yours.

↳ a downside (or perk) of having joseph as your main supporter is that he'll always make himself recognizable as the one who screams during your performances. what a man.

kakyoin noriaki

↳ probably differently from what you think, he won't even care about ballet. not because he doesn't care about what you like, just because he thinks he shouldn't try to say anything about it since he's a gamer.

↳ but that's only until you show him the emerald accessories you bought to match hierophant green's aesthetic. then, he's amazed.

↳ hierophant green is even more amazed than kakyoin himself, it won't stop nuzzling against you because he's grateful about the fact that you bought it for him purposely. the stand is deeply affectionate to you.

↳ get ready for a lot of questions coming from your cherry boy. noriaki is new to this world, and realized what stands behind ballet is much more tiring and stressful than anything that stands behind videogames, somehow.

↳ he gets scared when you mention the nutcracker. luckily, you immediately explain it's just the title of a ballet representation in which you had a role. phew. he thought you were gonna dance on nuts to crack them.

↳ kakyoin gets easily concerned when you stretch next to him. he lives in the constant fear and panic that you will suddenly break a leg or get bad muscle pain.

↳ he can't understand the struggles of doing ballet, but will probably look for anything to help on the internet. he got traumatized by pointe shoes. someone save this man's soul, please.

↳ "ballet scares me... but listen, do you have any performances planned, by chance? i wanna see..."

↳ probably brought jotaro with him to watch your performance in order to show you off to someone. he's a proud boyfriend.

↳ noriaki is the kind of boyfriend who would bring a professional camera to your performances in order to get some videos of you dancing recorded. he definitely watches them when he's alone in his room, and asks himself how can he have such a talented s/o.

↳ he set up some led lights in a room, for you to be able to create the correct atmosphere when you feel like rehearsing. there are many colors. the coolest thing he's ever bought for you.

muhammad avdol

↳ even if he's your boyfriend, he does behave like a dad. as soon as he gets to know you're into ballet, he'll turn into a proud parent. avdol's got no time to concern, he'll just be really happy for you have a passion like that.

↳ he'd read tarot cards for you everytime before a performance, and they always turn out positive. if they don't, he'll just tell you to be really careful.

↳ muhammad's always chill around you while you rehearse and tries not to look at you too much or interact too many times in order to not to distract you, but deep down, he's your number one fan and would look at you for hours.

↳ he tells everyone, when you get chosen to play a role in the nutcracker. it's something that gets often performed, but it's also so known that he takes it as if you were about to become a hollywood star.

↳ if you need someone's shoulder to cry on, he'll be the first one to embrace you. ballet isn't easy, and as much as he cherishes your passion, he'll always check on how you feel about it.

↳ last time he got too excited about your stage clothing, magician's red risked burning a pointe shoe of yours. luckily, avdol managed to handle it. he scolded his stand afterwards, but you petted it instead.

↳ no avdol, you can't get closer to the stage to take photos. you can take them from your seat. he's just like elementary school moms who want to take quality pictures of their children.

↳ "i know, falling during a performance feels horrible... come here, let me get you some ice..."

↳ he's the ceo of do-not-overwork-yourself and of if-you-feel-tired-please-stop. avdol will spoil you with cuddles after every rehearsal.

↳ if he notices you keep on comparing yourself to your fellow dancers, he'll make sure he makes you understand you're worth it just the way you are, and that you don't need to be like someone else to be talented. you'll always be his favourite either way, so you don't have to worry at all.

↳ you've let him decorate some accessories with patterns which are typical of his culture. your ballet teacher allowed you to dance in them. you couldn't be happier than that.

jean pierre polnareff

↳ have you said ballet? he loves ballet, those graceful way of dancing, the classical music, the whole atmosphere's just perfect for him, might it be because of the romantic part of his frenchness, but he's gonna cherish your passion.

↳ he's gonna dance with you. jean doesn't know how to do it, of course. but will still do that. he just enjoys it. just let him.

↳ the man treats you to special meals after rehearsals, or maybe some bubble tea, warm chocolate, or anything he has at home that he can serve you as a treat. dancing is important, but having a full stomach matters more.

↳ as soon as you come out of your latest lesson and tell him you've been chosen to have a role in the nutcracker, he'd immediately pick you up and pepper you with kisses and reminders of how proud of you he is.

↳ he'd jokingly behave like a dance teacher, keeping your timings in check. nothing serious, of course, if you told him you feel like taking a pause, he'd stop and get you a glass of fresh water.

↳ the two of you just have a lot of fun like that. you allow yourself to combine successfully some quality time with the man you love and your passion for ballet.

↳ "you're doing so well, listen to your man, you're gonna shine, babe, like the sun! trés bien!"

↳ you two once had to interrupt a rehearsal without finishing it properly, because he had said your pointe shoes looked just like his hair and you couldn't hold back the laughter.

↳ polnareff's the kind of boyfriend who doesn't want to be in the audience during performances of yours, he has a special place in your dressing room and is allowed to come in and be your emotional support. nobody's gonna keep him from being there for you!

↳ most of the time, he uses silver chariot - carefully - to move people out of the way in order to get to you. this obviously confuses non stand users, but that doesn't matter to him, as far as he can get to you.

↳ he brings food with him, when he comes to see your performances, so that he can feed you after it ends. as i said before, dancing is important, but for jean, eating is essential!

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jojo part three #stardust crusaders #kujo jotaro #jotaro x reader #kakyoin noriaki #kakyoin x reader #joseph joestar #joseph x reader #muhammad avdol #avdol x reader #jean pierre polnareff #polnareff x reader #jjba headcanons #sweet anon

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readyplayerhobi · 4 years ago

Text

Flower | 28

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff

; Word Count: 4.3k

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: After a month of no Flower...here’s a chapter. Please reblog and let me know what you thought in comments or an as! I’ve been struggling a lot with writing lately and feedback really does help to motivate me!

; Flower Masterpost

Taking in the sight of the tattoo gun and all the necessary accessories that are being prepped in front of you, you can’t help but purse your lips in slight worry. As excited as you were for this, you were also afraid that it was going to hurt. Because getting a tattoo wasn’t a quick process.

Nervously, you glance over at Hoseok. He’s sat on a stool that Jay, the tattoo artist, had brought over for him while you sit on the padded, leather chair. Taking in your uncertain expression, he gives you a bright smile before squeezing your hand to give you a little reassurance. Which you need, because you were a big baby when it came to pain.

“You’ll be okay, I swear. You’ve watched me get tattooed before.” Hoseok says sweetly, white teeth flashing for a moment as he grins once more in another effort to soothe your worries. It doesn’t work though, as you almost immediately begin to frown upon remembering the one time you’d gone with him to watch him get tattooed.

“Yeah...and you ended up crying in pain.” Twisting his lips in a grimace, Hoseok’s expression is suddenly unsure before he sighs deeply in acknowledgement. Lifting your hand, he kissed the back of it gently before running his thumb along the thin, soft skin.

“Hey...I was getting tattooed on my ribs. That’s one of the worst places to get done because you’re tattooing on bone and muscle. Jay can attest that yours isn’t going to be that bad, I swear.” His tone is gentle and you can tell he’s trying to keep you calm. Glancing over at Jay, you watch as the tattoo artist finishes up his preparations before giving you a wry smile.

“He’s right. I won’t lie, it might hurt but if it does, it should get better hopefully. If it gets really bad though, tell me. We can stop if you can’t handle it. You will end up with only a partial tattoo but...” His shoulders shrug casually beneath his Amon Amarth shirt and you want to complain. But then you realise he’s right, and he’s only telling you the truth.

Grinding your teeth together, you sigh deeply before nodding at him in acceptance.

“Okay. I’m a big girl, I can cope with this.” That line is directed at Hoseok, your tone slightly sarcastic and he snorts in response. Leaning forward, he gives you a quick peck on the lips before settling back and starting up a conversation between the three of you once you approve the positioning.

There’s a brief pause before you feel Jay’s cool, glove covered fingers pressing against your shoulder to make sure he gets the right angle. Your first dip into the tattoo world as going to be a small one; just a watercolour style tattoo after extensive research. Jay had frequently tattooed Hoseok over the years and so had been Hoseok’s number one recommendation, leading to him creating a pretty little cherry blossom flower design.

The first press of the tiny needles makes you flinch slightly as they begin to prick and you wince at the slight sting before breathing out slowly. It’s not as bad as you’d thought it was going to be in reality though you certainly wouldn’t want to have to sit for hours upon hours and have large, intense pieces done as Hoseok does. Still, you felt like this was a little bonding moment between you the two of you.

Even if there was a third person here, but whatever.

You weren’t getting the tattoo because of him exactly, but you wouldn’t deny that he’d been a big part of why you’d finally made the decision. Tattoos have always been something that you thought were pretty but they were also something you’d never considered getting as they were permanent. But Hoseok’s love and pride for his own had led to you gaining a new appreciation for them too.

When you’d told him that you wanted to get one, and what kind of style you wanted as well, Hoseok hadn’t asked if you had a special meaning behind it. One of his philosophies, when it came to tattoos, was that you didn’t always need to have a special reason to get a tattoo. It was more than acceptable to get something just because you thought it looked cool or pretty.

You’d discovered early on in your relationship that Hoseok had a real axe to grind against anyone who wanted to gatekeep tattoos and make it so that you always had to have some sentimental reasoning for it. He’d said something along the lines of ‘this isn’t fucking American Idol or X-Factor and you don’t need to have some dying relative to get it. Just get something cos it looks badass if you want.’.

But you did personally have a reason for getting it. Firstly, you’d made sure that Jay made it look pretty enough that you wanted to go through with the pain and have it on you. The second reason, which was incredibly cheesy and you’d rather die than tell anyone the meaning because you can’t handle emotions well, is because it’s a flower.

Part of it was that you’d met Hoseok on an app called Flower, which had led to the most important relationship you’d ever had. It wasn’t his name or anything, but more symbolic of how you’d met. The other major reason for it was that it was a symbol of how much you’d grown over the past year, becoming more confident in yourself and accepting that while you may have weaknesses, they didn’t make you weak overall.

Your research had shown that the cherry blossom, aside from just looking pretty, was also seen as the symbol of renewal and life. They’re only around for a few days, maybe a few weeks, every year but they’re bright symbols of beauty and happiness. Your own life had been renewed in the last year with all the changes that you’d experienced and you just wanted a little reminder that your while you’d struggled, your life was just as bright.

And that kind of cheesy talk was exactly why you wouldn’t explain the meaning to anyone. Not that Hoseok had pried too hard, though you were certain he’d probably at least figured out the whole Flower app connection. He hadn’t mentioned anything though.

As a result, you’d decided to get the tattoo on your first anniversary together. Which obviously, was today. It truly boggled your mind to realise that you’d been in a relationship for a whole year now. A year of being romantic with someone and them not getting bored or tired of you. Hoseok was still here and he loved you more than ever.

Technically, you didn’t have an actual anniversary. Neither of you had formally asked the other to be in a relationship. It had ended up being one of those weird adult relationships where you just start dating and just never stop. As a result, you’d both agreed that you’d the anniversary of your first date to symbolise the beginning of your relationship.

It was the first time you’d been together after all, and neither of you had even looked at anyone else since then. A whole year later, including many moments of bickering, confusion, anxiety, panic attacks, depression and moving your whole life around, here you both were. Still together, very much in love and tentatively looking forward to the future.

As a result of moving in the last month, the two of you had initially agreed not to get presents for each other today as a lot of money had been spent buying the things you needed to fill and decorate the house. Yet it had become quickly apparent that you both seemed to have secretly agreed to spoil the other with the excuse of ‘it’s our first anniversary, I can’t just get you nothing!’ being thrown around a lot.

You’d been bought the cutest fluffy Pikachu that you’d spotted in a store earlier today and he’d promised to pay for this tattoo given it was your first. And you weren’t any better as you’d bought him the BluRay boxset of the Godfather along with a gift box of flavoured teas that he’d been surprisingly excited over.

After your meltdown in the house the other week, it felt nice to be back to being happy. You still weren’t completely content or settled, but you’d managed to get yourself to relax enough to not snap or get grumpy with Hoseok anymore. The house was mostly finished with only the yard needing to be done, but you’d both agreed to wait until springtime for that.

It didn’t feel like home yet, but you knew it was just a matter of time.

But yeah, your anniversary was going pretty great so far. Even if you were having to put up with being pricked hundreds of times with the tattoo gun. You tried your hardest to ignore it and instead focused on Hoseok. He was busy talking to Jay while occasionally stroking his thumb over your hand, absentmindedly comforting you.

Looking him over carefully, you took the time to simply admire him. How you’d managed to end up with such a stunningly handsome man as your boyfriend, you’d never know. Or understand, not that you were ever going to complain. What was even more baffling to you was the fact that along with being one of the most beautiful people you’d ever seen, he had a heart that was perhaps even more beautiful.

You were sure that if you’d ended up dating anyone else, you would have probably had multiple arguments that resulted in someone storming out by now. Or the relationship would have been ended long ago. Yet the most you’d done with Hoseok was bicker over small things with the incident the other week being the most friction you’ve had so far.

That was probably solely down to the fact Hoseok seemed to the unnatural patience of a saint. Something you didn’t take for granted, that was for sure. Just the thought of it has an overwhelming surge of love swelling in your chest.

You wished that you were the kind of person who could easily vocalise your feelings. It frustrated you eternally that you weren’t because there were so many times you wanted to tell him you love him. Instead, you gently poke at his hand with your free hand. Happiness fills you as he smiles at your way of telling him that you love him, poking your calf gently in response while carrying on his conversation.

He’d probably never realise how important he was to you. How much he’d helped you to grow as a person and with your personality. You owed him a lot and you would happily spend as long as he let you repay it. Not that he’d like that idea if you told him of course, but you didn’t care. You loved him, more than he’d ever know.

Tuning back into the conversation, you realise that they’ve been talking about the next tattoo that Hoseok wants. He was planning on getting a watercolour style tattoo similar to yours only he was contemplating having it be space-themed to match his sleeve. Jay is nodding as he discusses options with Hoseok, occasionally checking on you with a gentle touch before carrying on once he realises you’re okay.

And then the conversation moves back round to you and your tattoo. Jay had designed it after Hoseok had made the appointment for you and you’d emailed over what you were thinking. He’d sent over the design and tweaked it to your desire and finally, you were here today, getting it done.

But apart from that, he didn’t have much knowledge of why you wanted it. Given Hoseok was a long time client of his, he had trusted that your boyfriend had given you enough information to make sure you were knowledgeable at what you were getting into. He’d sent over stuff as well but you’d discussed it in depth with Hoseok to make sure you were comfortable.

“So how come you decided today to get your first tattoo? And I’m honoured to be the artist you chose by the way.” Jay says, his tone sweet and you look to him giving Hoseok a slightly sarcastic smile. He’s given one back by your boyfriend and you snort, rolling your eyes at their interaction. As if Hoseok would let you go to anyone else other than his trusted artist.

“Err well...I’ve been considering it a while but wasn’t sure whether to get it or not. And Hoseok said I should try and go to you if I did want it as you’ve always done good work for him, so...yeah. I just decided I want it.” You mumble out, shy at explaining why you’d finally gotten a tattoo. There’s nothing more to say on that and Hoseok squeezes your hand in reassurance before taking over the conversation for you.

“And it’s today because it’s our anniversary so...why not get your first tattoo on your first anniversary, right?” Hoseok grins broadly, letting his fingers lace with your own and you feel yourself go warm at his pride and the affection laced into his voice. Jay pauses what he’s doing for a moment to look at you both with surprise.

“It’s your anniversary today? Oh man, congrats. Happy anniversary,” You grin at his good wishes for you both before he carries on, the needles pressing into your skin once more. “A whole year, that’s great. How did you both meet then?”

Hoseok glances at you with a small smile, wrinkling his nose slightly until you give him a smile in response. He seems happy with that and kisses your hand once more, playing with your fingers as his gaze turns back to Jay.

“Online dating, believe it or not.” There’s a snort of what sounds like amusement from behind and you frown, wondering what’s so amusing about that. Lots of people get together through online dating. That’s the whole point of it. Or is it that someone like Hoseok was on an online dating service? It still confused you, in fairness.

“Oh yeah? Take one look at the pretty lady and decide she was going to be your girl?” He teases and you see Hoseok’s smile turn devilish.

“More like she saw this handsome specimen and decided she wanted a piece of that.” Now you’re the one pulling a face at him, rolling your eyes at his bravado while being secretly amused the whole time. He wasn’t wrong in reality, only you hadn’t been quite as bold as he made you out to be.

“Would you and your ego like some space? I’m sure I can arrange that for you. Also, we love a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it.” Jay applauds you, smirking at Hoseok’s outraged face in pure glee and you can’t help but laugh softly at them both. It was obvious they’ve known each other awhile with how they interacted and you liked how Jay made you feel at ease.

“It wasn’t as...bold as that.” You murmur shyly, looking down at your hands as you recall the panic and anxiety you’d felt after messaging Hoseok the first time. It was hard to believe you’d come so far since then. Even harder to believe that outrageously attractive man was now not only your boyfriend but living with you.

“Ignore her. She’s weirdly bold in ways you wouldn’t expect. But anyway, yeah. Officially one year together today. Can you believe it?! Me? In a relationship with the prettiest and funniest girl for a whole year?” Hoseok snorts as he makes an incredulous face while Jay laughs as well.

You’re not sure what to make of that at first before you recall that they’ve known each other years and Hoseok had been pretty notorious before you. Though his compliment does make you squirm in embarrassment, a desperate need to deny his words bubbling inside you.

“I’d say it’s shocking but honestly, you’ve been looking at her with the biggest heart eyes this whole time. So not really. I’m happy for you both though.” He says and you can practically hear the smile in his voice even though you can’t see him. It’s not too long before he’s finished with you, cleaning up and showing what your tattoo looked like to you to make sure you’re happy and then covering it.

You were beyond pleased with the tattoo, excitement flooding through you as you’d looked over it and realised it was even better than you’d hoped for. Grinning at Hoseok as you stood up, you gripped his hands tightly before wiggling with a bright smile.

“It’s so pretty!” He’s smiling at you in agreement as Jay cleans up his workstation before you all move over to the front desk to pay. The sweet receptionist from earlier is there, covered in even more tattoos and piercings than both men with you. At her request, you show off your new tattoo with a happy smile and accept her compliments with joy.

“How much again?” Hoseok asks, pulling out his wallet. You frown at him immediately, lips pursing into a pout as you remember he’d said that he was going to pay for it but he just tuts at you, shaking his head. “Shh, anniversary present, remember?”

Pushing at his stomach lightly, you sigh as you realise you’re not going to win this argument. Not that you were even arguing really, but you knew that Hoseok would refuse point blank to let you pay for this. Plus, you would admit to enjoying being spoiled by him sometimes. It wasn’t something you were used to but you couldn’t help enjoying it when he did it.

“Actually, it’s on the house today,” Jay says with a smirk, looking you both over with what looks suspiciously like fondness in his eyes. “Consider it my present to you both for your anniversary. Maybe you can make this a little tradition and I’ll see you both for many more years.”

Hoseok is silent and you look up to see his jaw dropped. It’s not often you get to see him so surprised and you can’t stop the giggle that leaves you at the sight of it. Smiling at Jay, you thank him profusely and squeeze Hoseok until he’s muttering out thanks as well.

“It’s nothing. Use that money to spoil your girl today. And I hope you’re okay with being spoiled.” Jay grins, tilting his head at you as he practically gives you both an order. It might not be overly feminist of you right now but you certainly weren’t going to say no to it. You’d never had an anniversary before and damn it, you wanted the full experience!

“I will, I promise. Thanks, man.” Hoseok reaches forward and does that whole man hug thing with Jay, causing you to roll your eyes with the receptionist in amusement. Jay doesn’t try anything with you and you suspect Hoseok had probably told him you weren’t fond of physical contact from others. Instead, he gives you a nod of goodbye as you both leave.

“That was nice of him.” You murmur, brow rising as you take Hoseok’s hand and link your fingers together. He hums in acknowledgement, lips twisting slightly as a light frown touches his forehead.

“It was. So you like your tattoo?”

“I do, it’s so pretty. I didn’t think it’d look this good but...I like it.” Smiling up at him sweetly, you don’t miss the way Hoseok’s eyes soften as he looks down at you. Jay was right, he did go all heart eyes around you. Not that you were going to complain though.

“Good, I’m glad. I’ll make sure we look after it properly. For now, though, I’m hungry so how about we go get something to eat?” He throws his arm around your shoulder, hands still linked together so that you end up with your arm crossing over your chest. Laughing at the movement, you happily push into his side as he pulls you even tighter to him before agreeing.

“Okay, but you pick. We’ve been sat there for over an hour now just for me. Your choice.” Hoseok’s about to complain before sighing and giving in, letting go of your hand to purse his lips as he hums in contemplation. Your lower lip juts out at the loss of contact with him and you momentarily pause in bemusement at how much you’ve come to love physical affection from him when you dislike it from others.

“Let’s recreate our first date and go to the Indian restaurant. Only this time, let’s not talk about girls throwing up on my dick and end the date with us going home and having some hot anniversary sex instead.” Raising a brow at him, your lip quirks in amusement momentarily.

“You never cease to amaze me when horny, you know that? You just literally talked about someone vomiting on your dick and then went straight into having sex. Ew.” Wrinkling your nose, Hoseok snorts in amusement before grinning broadly.

“Look, we’ve established many times by now that when I’m horny, my IQ drops to almost single digits. Anyway, we’re not doing it now. We’re gonna eat and then go do it.” Laughing, you stop to wrap your arms around his waist and hug him tightly, resting your chin on your chest to look up at him as a confusing array of positive emotions bubbles and swirls around your body.

“Okay...that sounds good…” You trail off, brows creasing as you feel so many words and emotions stalling in your throat. Like a lump, you can’t get past. Instead, you squeeze him harder before pushing up onto your tiptoes to kiss him. He lets you, amusement causing him to chuckle slightly as he carefully hugs you back.

“I love you too. Now let’s go eat, I’m so damn hungry you can probably feel my belly rumbling.”

Wincing slightly, Hoseok manages to shift until his arm is sliding out from underneath you. Massaging feeling back into it, he clenches and unclenches his hand before settling onto his back more comfortably. As much as he loved to cuddle you at night, he did often end up with a dead arm.

Sighing quietly, he stares up into the darkness of the bedroom. Your breathing is slow and steady, a calming and soothing sound to his ears as you sleep comfortably. Without even realising it, he's smiling gently before glancing over at you.

A whole year. He'd been with you for a whole year. If someone had told him this two years ago, he'd have laughed. Even though he was in a much better place than when he was a teenager, he knew that some part of him had avoided relationships. Like he still hadn't felt worthy of one.

He did now. He had to. You didn't deserve anything less. And if that sounded cheesy then dammit, it was his first anniversary. He was allowed.

Thinking over everything that has happened in the last year, he feels immense pride at how much you've grown. How comfortable you've become in yourself around him. How happy you are. There were bumps along the road of course, but the two of you had gotten through it.

Expanding his cheeks almost childishly, he lets out a slow and deep breath as he contemplates just how mushy he's being. If the guys could hear his thoughts…

And it's then that he realises he hasn't even posted anything today. Nothing to declare to the world that you'd both made it a year. Even when people hadn't expected you both to last a month.

Grabbing his phone from the nightstand, he unlocks it and opens Instagram. Choosing the right pictures takes him a solid 10 minutes. He has so many and he wants to make sure that you'll approve of each picture that he chooses.

Finally, though, he settles on them. A selfie of you both grinning broadly from today, the photo of him kissing your cheek from his birthday, a picture of you sat reading a book in your old apartment, a selfie of the two of you kissing and finally, a picture of you holding Kasumi and smiling so big.

Each one gets edited carefully until he's happy with them, moving forward to the part where he has to write. Glancing at the time on his phone, he sees that he has fifteen minutes left of his anniversary.

So he starts to write.

Jungsevenfold: Today we celebrated our first anniversary!

One whole year of being with the funniest, kindest and on occasion, strangest, girl I've ever met. I've learnt many things being with you, from discovering I like board games to the fact it's a bad idea to destroy the moon.

I'm never quite sure what you're going to say and I love that. I love the way your mind works, what you find funny and so much more. We're often told we're mismatched but I think it's working out. Better than anyone thought.

I think this is long enough and mushy enough, so I'll finish up. Y/N, my princess, my little meeple; I love you ❤🥰. So may we have many more years!

/cheesiness

Posting it, Hoseok watches it upload and feels a momentary pang of embarrassment at what he'd written. But glancing back over to you, he pushes it away. You deserve for him to yell his feelings.

Rolling over, he places his phone back before smiling to himself and wriggling into the covers. You're hard enough on yourself, so if a little embarrassment on his behalf can make you smile.. then it's worth it.

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birdsareblooming · 3 years ago

Note

the storybook games (but mostly secret rings) are on the mind rn so satbk and satsr

Good game, could have been so much better

And like, I take the ENTIRE game with a grain of salt bc it was made by half the team, while the other half was making Sonic 06

Also it's mostly in comparison to SATBK, which is one of my favorite games.

Negative stuff:

SATBK did SO much research into Autherian legends that it's insane. The one thing that didn't carry over was family trees, everything else relating to the characters is scarily spot on. (I talk about it a lot in my Merlina theory)

SATSR seems a lot more... lazy??? with it's Sonic characters. If someone told me it was just gonna be Sonic and them last minute realized that half of Sonic's strength is it's array of characters and threw some in. Where BK they're heavily important to the story and deeply integrated, there's just like... Sonic, Knuckles and Eggman in SR, which could easily be removed. It's also worth mentioning that BK has 7 integrated characters (8 if you count Sonic, 9 if you believe my Merlina theory) While SR has 3

BK has 80% Integrated Sonic Characters (8 out of 10) SR has 42.86% Integrated Sonic Characters (3 out of 7)

This wouldn't be an immediate downside if the characters were important.

Also it's just me (and my sister) but eggman being there as an obviously white dude is so weird

Also they never fully explained what was going on between Shahra and Erazor which makes the betrayal seem a little out of no where

Positive stuff:

Oh my god I LOVE the aesthetic, the music is fucking baller, the scenery is some of the prettiest shit I've seen in a Sonic game.

The story isn't as good as BK but it's there. I love Shahra and Sonic's friendship, especially as a Genie and someone who doesn't want to wish for anything. Sonic takes things as they come and lives fully in the present so he's good just wishing for a hankie for his current cold.

I also feel like there's some strange coorelation between Shahra and Elise. Not on my Merlina theory level but it's there. It helps that the games were being made at the same time, but it is interesting the strange "being allowed to cry" theme they integrated with Shahra.

Also it like... for theorist SR is way more important lore wise to us that you may think. The bird theory has it as a main component.

The "Secret Rings" May be somehow connected or be the rings in Knuckles' Chaotix which is dope. (Shahra mentions the rings came from another world I believe, and they're the same colors.)

Also I just... Like Shahra... a lot. Not only because her name is a clever shortening of Scheherazade.

There's something simplistically appealing about her.

Darkspine is the CLOSEST we've EVER gotten to having Dark Sonic in the games. Like EVER. Not crazy about the design, but I respect the hustle.

The fucking.... lovecraftian flesh beast final boss is everything to me. I love that shit so much. I love seeing monsters made from convulsing flesh and wailing. Sonic games need to bring this back.

In conclusion:

It's story and characters aren't as strong as BK, if I had to pick between buying BK and SR I'd pick BK

However, it's a strong game that I think stands well and it has a lot of potential

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recurring-polynya · 3 years ago

Note

In tHiaM, Renji mentioned a fictional fateful encounter in which he and Rukia met in the circus. I can picture this deeply. The Rukon has circuses. It has gritty knife throwers, it has scrappy beast tamers, it has a lovely doe-eyed tightrope walker who does stunts so dangerous your hair'd turn white just watching her. It is for Renji's birthday so he should get Rukia being extremely badass and saving his life from a rampaging circus bear. Ideally, Kenpachi is there.

A lot of times, I’ll have some idea for a story, and I’ll do a bit of research and find out that the thing I wanted to do absolutely does not exist in Japanese culture, and I was completely sure that when I dug into it, Japanese circuses would not be a thing, or they would be extremely different from Western circuses, but as it turns out, circuses were absolutely a thing in the Edo era, and they had acrobats and strongmen and horseriding and more. I had so many tabs open about circuses, and almost none of it actually made it into this fanfic.

Anyway, THANK YOU ALOPEX, you know what I like to write, and what I like to write is Renji telling rambling stories of questionable veracity. I put in some lifting for good measure. This might be the most perfect Renji birthday story.

If it isn’t immediately evident, this takes place in the middle of the Advance Team Arc, or more specifically, in the middle of my Advance Team Arc story, See You on the Other Side, where Renji tells Chad a different RenRuki origin story that’s basically the desert bandit subplot from Crouching Tiger, and also a story about bees.

Read on ao3 | ff.net

🏋️‍♂️ 💪 🤡 🎪 🐻

Renji hefted the last bumper plate onto the end of the barbell and tightened the collar. Chad watched him with narrowed eyes.

“You sure you want to try this?” Renji asked. “One thousand pounds. It’s the weight limit for this bar. Once you beat this, we gotta go back to Urahara’s place and pick up big rocks.”

Apparently, Chad worked part time at his gym, which meant he had a key, which meant that he and Renji could go in at two a.m. so that Renji could teach him how to lift absurd amounts of weight with his reiatsu. It was pretty convenient, as long as you didn’t mind lifting weights at two a.m. Renji loved lifting weights at two a.m.

“You just don’t want to tell me another story,” Chad replied, flexing his shoulders in anticipation.

“Whatever, I got a million of them.” Renji took a few steps backward.

Chad flared his nostrils and stepped up to the barbell. He squatted down and curled his fingers around the grip. He took three deep breaths as he stared straight again. Leading with his hips, he straightened up in a smooth, textbook perfect movement, the sinews in his neck popping out, the air around him boiling with power.

Renji wished he could drag Chad over to Squad Six, so those spoiled weenies could see what hard work actually looked like.

Chad dropped the weight and a huge breath burst out of him, his eyes widening in relief. “I did it,” he gasped.

“You did it, buddy!” Renji shouted, pointing at the barbell. “You’re a machine! You didn’t even make it look hard!”

“It was hard,” Chad managed.

“I don’t believe it!” Renji continued. “One thousand pounds! You’re incredible, dude!”

“What do you mean, you don’t believe it? You told me to do it.”

“I mean, when I told you we were gonna work for the big one-kay, it was, you know, a stretch goal. I didn’t expect you to get there so fast!”

“You said you would tell me another story when I hit it! I assumed it was a reasonable goal.”

“I keep making unreasonable goals and you keep hitting them, so I’m just sort of winging it, now, t’be honest! I’m actually really bothered how much you are motivated by my dumb stories. If I had any human money, I would just offer to buy you tacos or something.”

“I can make my own tacos. I like the stories.”

Renji sighed. They didn’t have tacos in Soul Society and he was determined to eat as many tacos as he possibly could while he was stationed in the Living World. “Go get cleaned up, and I’ll put the weights away and try to decide which story to tell you this time. I did bring us some protein shakes. I can’t vouch for them, because they’re made out of stuff I found in the Shouten, but it’s important to get some calories in you after lifting. ”

“I’m sure they’re fine. I like your protein shakes. Oh, and I know which story I want to hear--how you met Rukia.”

Of course he did.

Renji was a man of many stories. He had so many good stories. He had Inuzuri stories that were full of mischief and dirtbaggery. He had Squad 11 stories that were full of headbutting and idiocy. He had interesting stories about his clever friends Izuru and Momo and funny stories about his goofy friend Shuuhei and horrible stories about his horrible friends Iba and Madarame. But Chad had asked him once how he met their mutual friend Kuchiki Rukia, a very reasonable and natural thing to ask, and Renji had responded with a ridiculous story that was very obviously not true. Now, all Chad wanted to hear was ostentatious lies about how he, Abarai Renji, had met the incomparable Kuchiki Rukia.

Renji racked his brain as he racked Chad’s weights. This would probably make the eighth or ninth Renji-Rukia origin story, he’d honestly lost count. He was running out of material. There was a bulletin board next to the weight storage rack, covered with flyers for a weightlifting tournament in Naruki City, the Karakura High kendo team, tumbling lessons. Renji stared at the picture of the girl in the sparkly leotard on the last one. He thought about how he and the gang used to make up stories of how they were gonna make it out of Inuzuri some day. He thought about Rukia’s absolute favorite, the one she told over and over, the way it got bigger and sparklier every time she told it.

Chad returned, a tracksuit zipped overtop his workout clothes. “Need help?” he asked.

“This is the last one,” Renji replied, hefting it up onto the shelf. “You can put the bar away, though.”

Chad did.

It was kinda nice, Renji thought, being in a gym in the middle of the night with Chad. It reminded him of hunching over his dorm room desk across from Izuru, cramming for written exams. It reminded him of achy muscles in a dim Fifth Company dojo, trying to figure out the mechanics of Zabimaru’s shikai deep into the wee hours. It reminded him of long runs with Ikkaku as the sun was just peaking over the city walls. The hours between dusk and dawn were a pretty good time for doing things, in Renji’s opinion.

“So, did you remember? How you met her?”

“Of course I remember!” Renji protested. “You think I would forget something like that?”

“You do get hit on the head a lot,” Chad rumbled gently and it took Renji a moment to realize he just got dragged. Chad was actually a really funny guy, you just had to pay attention.

Renji plopped down on a pile of mats and started rummaging around in his backpack for the two bottles of questionable nutritional substance he had mixed up earlier. “Well, I certainly remember the time I ran away from home and joined the circus, I’ll tell you that.” It was a good opening line, and he paused a few seconds to get the full effect.

“The circus?” Chad echoed skeptically, sitting down next to Renji and accepting his smoothie.

“The circus,” Renji replied after taking a long swig. It was very, very strawberry flavored. “So. I think I mentioned once that when I died I got sent to the shit-end of Rukongai. District 78 of the Southern Quadrant, where your best hope is to die soon and catch an express trip back to the Living World. I was too dumb and stubborn for that, though, so I was always on the lookout for a way out. Now, it’s pretty hard to move between districts in Rukongai-- it’s illegal without a special permit, see, and special permits get harder to get the further out you go. But there are a few kinds of permits that allow you to travel all up and down Soul Society, and one of those is for entertainers.”

This was more-or-less true. It was true in theory, but travelling shows never made it out to the deep Rukon-- there was no profit in it. Rukia used to swear up and down that a circus had made it to Inuzuri once, basically just passing through on their way to capture wild animals from the magical wilderness past the end of District 80, but she had seen it. Rukia was older than the rest of them, and she used to talk about it in such nauseating detail that they had no choice but to believe her.

“When I saw the posters plastered up all over town, my first thought was that it was an opportunity to pick up some quick kan as temporary labor. My primary job skill at the time was picking up heavy objects, you see, perhaps moving them from place to place. Circuses always need help with set up and tear down. I mean, do I look like a theater kid?”

Chad stared at him pointedly.

“I don’t know why I asked that,” Renji quickly corrected, “but also, keep in mind that I am Like This because I was in the circus, not the other way around. Anyway, my instincts were correct, and I found myself gainfully employed, carting crates and also tying and untying knots, another of my many talents. But then two things, or rather two someones made me decide that I needed to hitch my star to this ridiculous pageant. The first, I will admit, was a complete castle in the sky, but what is being an adolescent boy about if not chasing after hopeless dreams?”

Chad frowned. “Well. There’s school.”

“There is no school in Inuzuri, actually, and perhaps that would have kept me out of trouble, but instead, I became absolutely entranced by the glittering star of the show-- a tightrope walker of exceptional agility, grace, and beauty. Her most defining characteristic, though, was her audacity. There was no trick too dangerous for her. She somersaulted through hoops of fire. She juggled daggers. She’d stop halfway across the tightrope, pull out a tokkari, and pour herself a saucer of sake and drink it, while the audience gasped.”

“It was Kuchiki,” Chad guessed, the corner of his mouth tipping up into his shy grin.

“It was Rukia,” Renji agreed, “but imagine Rukia in head-to-toe spangles, with bells in her hair and glitter painted around her eyes, 20 feet in the air. She was unreal. She was an apparition, a spirit. I was desperate to meet her.”

“Did you?” asked Chad.

“Chad,” said Renji.

“What?”

“Did you just… did you just ask me if I ever managed to meet Rukia? Your friend and mine, Kuchiki Rukia? In the middle of this story about how I met Rukia?”

Chad thought for a moment. “It’s two a.m. and I just deadlifted a thousand pounds.”

“That’s fair, and the answer is yes, eventually, I did meet Rukia and she saved me from being eaten by a bear, but we’ll get to that. Are you drinking that protein shake?”

“Oh, sorry! It’s really good, I just keep forgetting because this story is a good one.” Chad took a long sip. “Hey, Abarai?”

“Yeah?”

“Sorry to interrupt again, but I have a question about the bear.”

“The bear is later.”

“Yeah, I realize that, but does the bear die?”

“Huh?”

“I’m just asking up front, because I don’t like stories where animals die, and if the bear gets hurt or dies, maybe could you skip over that part?”

“Oh! No, the bear is fine. Well, he’s probably reincarnated back into a living bear by now, he was pretty old even then. I exaggerated a little to make it sound dramatic, he probably wouldn’t have eaten me in any case.”

“Okay, you can go back to the story now, I just wanted to make sure. Thank you.”

“No, no, it’s cool. I’m glad you checked in.” Renji took a deep breath through his nose and mentally rearranged his story so that Rukia no longer defeated the beast in a dramatic knife fight. “Right. So, as I said, there was a second person at the circus who influenced me greatly and that was the most famous strongman in the entire Rukon, Zaraki Kenpachi--”

“Wait, Captain Zaraki? Big guy? With the bells in his hair?”

Oh, shit. “Uh, yeah. That’s a circus thing, you know. Hair bells. You, uh, know Captain Zaraki?”

“Yeah, Orihime made friends with him, and he broke us out of prison, but then we split up because there was someone he wanted to fight.”

“That sounds like him. Anyway, yeah, he’s in this story, too. I used to be in his squad, you know?”

“I gathered that from the way Madarame and Ayasegawa talk to you.”

“He helped me get in the Gotei, you see. Because of our time together in the circus. That’s a different story, though, we’re focusing on circus times, here. He wasn’t even the Kenpachi, yet, actually. One of the reasons he’s so strong is because before he was a fighter, he lifted things, heavy things. He did all the typical strongman stuff-- bending iron bars, biting through teacups, tearing packs of cards in half, but his most famous trick was balancing bamboo poles on his shoulders and then various acrobats and other performers would scramble up on them and do tricks from on top of him. He was wildly popular, pictured on all the posters. People would come to the circus just to see him. I did not have a lot going for me at this point of my life, but I was strong, and when I saw this guy, it occurred to me that if I could get him to take me on as some sort of apprentice, I might finally be able to use my strength to get out of that shitty town.”

“Seems like a good plan.”

“It did. It seemed like a good plan, except that Zaraki had a very busy schedule of getting drunk and napping when he wasn’t lifting things, and he was absolutely not interested in Inuzuri punks who had been hired to move crates around.”

“So, what did you do?”

“Well, speaking of Inuzuri punks, I may have been a fairly honest and hardworking fellow, but one day, a couple of my reprobate neighbors decided to sneak in and try to get a glimpse of some of the wild animals. The fellow who looked after the menagerie was a little guy by the name of Mameji. Very kind and loved the animals deeply, but not very good at standing up for himself. I barely knew him, but I don’t like bullies, and I owed most of those guys a punch in the nose anyway. Mameji was pretty grateful for the solid I did him and asked if there was any favor he could do me in return. Naturally, I asked if he knew Zaraki, but unfortunately, he was terrified of the guy, so I told him I was just happy to do a good deed and make a friend.”

“You should have asked him if he knew Rukia. Rukia likes animals.”

“You’re very smart, Sado, but remember that this story is about me, not you. It didn’t matter anyway, because the next day, he comes to find me and says there’s someone who wants to talk to me. I can’t imagine who he means, aside from holding out hope that maybe he did know Zaraki after all and was just slow-rolling me.”

“But it was Rukia.”

“It was. Mameji leads me over to the area where the animals are kept, and there, in a blue kimono embroidered with silver stars and crystals in her hair, was The Fearless Rukia.” Rukia’s circus stories were usually at least seventy-five percent descriptions of her outfits, and Renji felt obligated to keep up that detail. “‘You helped my friend out,’ she says to me. ‘I appreciate that.’ And I replied something very smooth and suave, like, ‘I like the way you do cartwheels’ or possibly just “Guuuuuuh.’ And then she says, ‘I hear you’re interested in Zaraki, what’s up with that?’ and as you know, I’m much better at talking about muscle stuff, so I explain about picking up heavy things and Inuzuri and my ambition to join the circus and she just listens carefully, nodding from time to time. She makes me pick up a few barrels and then Mameji, for good measure, and finally, she nods and says, ‘You’re pretty strong and I like your hair. Come back here tomorrow. I’m going to help you impress Zaraki.’”

Chad’s eyes sparkled with anticipation.

“So, the next day, I came back, like she said, and Mameji was there, too and they’ve got this big sack of yams. I’ve told you before about eatin’ in Soul Society, right?”

Chad nodded and belatedly took another gulp of his shake.

“My initial thought was that they were gonna try to bulk me up. Raw yams may not sound very exciting to you, but after years of living on near-moldy rice and the occasional sad vegetable or bony fish, I was watering at the mouth. ‘You’re gonna feed these yams to Sunny,’ says Rukia. ‘Who?’ says I. ‘His stage name is Brawler,’ says Rukia, ‘But he’s a good boy so Mameji and I call him Sunny. It’s a joke. Because he’s a moon bear.’ Brawler, you see, was the second scariest thing in the circus, right after Zaraki-- the biggest, ugliest moon bear you can possibly imagine, probably 200 kilograms. A lot of circus bears do tricks-- balance on balls or some shit, but Brawler’s only trick was looking mean as Hell. Sometimes they’d throw him a deer haunch and he’d eat it in a real gross way, I guess people like seeing stuff like that. I, like most people growing up on the southern border of the Rukon, had a healthy fear of large carnivores, but I had a much larger fear of looking like a weenie in front of Rukia, and I was determined I was gonna do whatever she told me to. The first time wasn’t so bad-- I just tossed the yams in and he snuffled over and gave me the hairy eyeball before snorfling them up. We did that the next day, too, but the day after that, Mameji took me into his enclosure to give him his yams. I was a little surprised, you see, because I would have expected a bear like that to eat meat or something like that, but he sure did like those yams.”

“Moon bears are omnivores,” Chad supplied. “They like sweet things.”

“You’re right, and I later found out that Sunny did get meat and other stuff at other times of day, but yams were his absolute favorite thing. Again, Rukia did not tell me this, because Rukia often neglects to tell me important things. I found all of this to be absolutely terrifying, and I probably would have given up and stuck to my crate moving, except that Rukia and Mameji were just about the nicest and amazing people I had ever met. They let me hang out with them for a bit and they told me stories about traveling with the circus and I told them about Inuzuri. They introduced me to their other friends, Fujimaru, who could do all sorts of knife throwing tricks, and Kosaburou, who had the most beautiful singing voice you could possibly imagine. By the time Rukia asked me to give Sunny the yams right out of my hand, I was doin’ it, not because I was desperate to get out of Inuzuri, but because I was desperate to do anything to stay with my new friends.”

Renji paused and pretended to be interested in his protein shake. Usually, he tried to fill these stories with a lot of daring-do and badassery, but he’d gotten a little off-track when had to junk his big exciting Rukia versus Bear fight scene. All he could think of was lying around the squat on miserable rainy days, one-upping each other with stories about their ridiculous circus acts. He hadn’t thought about those days-- hadn’t let himself think about those days-- in years. What a sap he was turning into. Maybe it was because Rukia was back in his life. Maybe it was because there was a war coming, a war he might not make it through. Maybe it was because it was two a.m.

“I know how that feels,” Chad said very quietly, so quietly that Renji almost didn’t catch it, and it occurred to Renji that maybe sometimes it helped to hear a sappy story at 2 a.m.

Renji snorted softly. “So, the day before the circus was set to pack up, Rukia explains her big plan to me. Up until now, I’ve sort of been assuming that this is all an exercise in building courage or some gonzo shit like that, but it turns out it’s very straightforward. Zaraki’s dream the whole time he’s been in the circus is to pick up Sunny as part of his act, except that Sunny has zero interest in being picked up and ends up chewing on Zaraki’s head every time he tries. If Zaraki had ever bothered asking Mameji for help, maybe he could have tried the old yam trick himself, but then this wouldn’t be much of a story.

“I wait ‘til the big guy is done with his nap and is prepping for the night’s performance, inventorying his lead pipes and such, and I go up to him and I say, ‘Zaraki the Great, I am very strong, you should take me on as your apprentice!’ Now, Rukia had seen people do this to him before, and she knew that he always came back with ‘Oh, yeah? Do something to impress me, then.’ Of course, I was prepared, and I said, ‘I am going to pick up Brawler, would that do it?’ and Zaraki laughs in my face and says ‘If you can do that, I will definitely take you on, kid.’”

Chad’s face had split into a huge grin and he leaned forward in anticipation.

“We go over to Sunny’s pen, and of course, Mameji’s already given him his dinner and he’s feelin’ real fat and happy when he sees his old yam buddy Renji coming. I slip him a yam that I had tucked in my sleeve and I start rubbin’ his side, which is a thing we’d been practicin’. He leans into it, ‘cause he was a big, itchy boy, and I just… flipped him and picked him up like a baby.” Renji made a scooping motion to demonstrate. Chad’s face absolutely lit up. “He was incredibly heavy and also he did not really like that,” Renji continued, “but I put him down right away and gave him another yam and he forgave me. Zaraki was laughin’ his ass off, but he kept his word and got me signed on as a Strongman-in-Training. We went on to have many more adventures, both me an’ Zaraki and me an’ Rukia an’ Mameji an’ Kosaburou and Mameji.”

“And Sunny.”

“Sunny continued to be a hideous, angry bear for the crowds, but I kept giving him yams and never picked him up again and we were great friends for the time we spent together in the circus.”

Chad sat back, smiling his usual inscrutable smile. “Thank you, Abarai. That was a really good one.”

Renji cocked an eyebrow at him. “Was it?”

“Yes. It had friendships and a nice bear and I felt like Rukia would really appreciate the effort you put into describing all her outfits. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t true, but it was a good story.”

Renji heaved a big sigh, as though he’d honestly thought Chad was gonna buy it this time. He stretched his arms and legs out in front of him. “Let’s go home. I could go for a few hours of sleep before the Shouten Shouting starts. You’re taking a rest day tomorrow, but don’t forget to stretch.”

“The last time I had a rest day, you came over and you taught me some stuff about reiryouku.”

“Did I?” Renji frowned.

“Can we do that again? You said you would try to explain how flash step works.”

Shit, he did remember promising that. He’d just gotten overenthusiastic because it was nice to be the guy who knew things for a change. On the other hand, he also remembered the enthusiasm of going to school for the first time and wanting to know everything, and could hardly fault Chad for the same. “Sure,” he agreed. “After noon.”

“Let’s make it noon,” Chad amended. “I’ll make you tacos.”

“That,” replied Renji, “is a deal.”

#renji's birthday 2k21 #my writing #chad-renji brotp #i honestly hope that over in soul society rukia shot awake #she gets a +2 to badassery every time renji tells a story about her

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det-loki · 4 years ago

Text

poison & wine part five

Oh, you let your feet run wild Time has come as we all oh, go down

warnings: angst, mention of harm to a dog, cussing, kidnap/drug/alcoholism mention

pairing: detective loki x fem reader

word count: 3,554

A/N: feedback is welcomed! let me know what you think and if you want more!

1 2 3 4 ⌽ 6

You stared blankly at the ground in Captain O’Malley’s office as Loki was talking to him angrily.

David was pissed.

Arriving at the station this morning, you found out Alex had been missing after calling Holly about a dog that had been hit after Alex took it for a walk and never came back. You leaned against the wall lazily, observing the conversation between David and O’Malley.

The dog collar had been thrown onto the captain's desk, Loki gesturing to it, “Holly Jones’ dog got hit on Southward Street. Apparently, Alex Jones took the dog for a walk the night before last, they never came home. And his aunt didn’t want to tell us about the dog when we called her about it this morning. She said she thought it would get him into trouble or some shit. I thought you said you would keep him under surveillance.”

O’Malley picked the collar up, “Yeah, and I thought you said the guy was innocent. And I thought the guy from last night you said was our guy. Look, I don’t have money in the budget for watching innocent people.”

Loki pointed at him, “You said to me that you’d put him under surveillance.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“You gonna keep your word? You could have just given me or Y/N a call because we would have been there all night, I would have stayed up all night. I would know where he was now. I need to know where everybody is.” Loki was at his wit’s end, no one was listening to anything he or you said.

O’Malley looked defeated, “All right, point made. All right? Point made.”

Loki’s voice was harsh, “If you can be clear with me, then I’ll be clear with you. I need to know where everybody is. If you’re going to do something different, please tell me.”

Loki walked out of the room, O’Malley turning to you with his eyebrows raised, “You have anything you wanna yell at me about too?”

You shrugged, irritated, “He’s not wrong, captain. All you had to do was give either of us a call and we wouldn’t be in this situation. That’s all you had to do.”

O’Malley threw up his arms, “Look, I get it all right? I fucked up. But it’s day five, your window is closing. You need to start preparing yourselves for the worst,”

Your body filled with rage, your fuse was blown, “Captain, you don’t ever speak to me like that again, you hear me? You can be upset with me all you want, but you ever call my ability to my job into question again, I will make your life hell. Day five means nothing. You have no idea what David and I are going through with this case, okay? Go fuck yourself.” You walked out of the room before he could respond, you needed to find David to make sure he hadn’t punched a hole in the wall.

You found David in the interrogation viewing room as he wound, rewound, and wound the tapes of Alex’s interrogation over and over, obsessively looking for something he may have missed. You walked deeper into the room without a word and sat next to him as he pressed play on the video. Ripping at the seams, crumbling.

A secretary you didn’t really know the name of came into the room, interrupting Loki’s obsessive behavior, “Loki, you got a call.” Loki rolled his eyes and huffed, hand coming up to his face to clutch his eyes before he stood rigidly, the silhouette of his body creating harsh lines filled with tension.

You remained in the viewing room as Loki went to take the call as you read over the notes he had scrawled on the yellow notebook paper.

RV?

Kidnapped with help?

Drugged…like her? M-

You stopped reading after that.

Loki came back into the room, pulling you out of your thoughts before they got too deep and pulled you under, “Hey, we gotta go.”

You stood in the local Value Mall, speaking to a young female employee, Jill, who had called about the man who fled from Loki last night.

“I called as soon as I saw the sketch on TV. He comes in here every week almost and buys kids’ clothes, but he’s always buying stuff in different sizes. Caught him messing around with the mannequins once.” Gross.

“What did he pay with?” You were silently hoping she said card, finally giving you something to work with.

“Cash.” Behind you, you could hear Loki mutter ‘fuck.’

You pull your business card out of your pocket with your name and number on it and hand it to the girl, “All right, you give me a call if you hear anything.” You turn to Loki who was still rifling through clothing racks, lost in thought, snapping your fingers, “Loki, card.” He turned around and handed the girl his card as well, now she had both your numbers.

You walked out of the store and looked up at the gray sky, taking a moment to yourself and to take in your surroundings. Loki stopped a few feet in front of you, looking back at you with a quizzical look. You didn’t say anything, only bringing your hand above your head and crossing them, taking a deep breath. You dropped your arms and continued walking towards the car while David remained standing confused in the same spot. Even in times like this, he admired your ability to stop and take notice of the world around you. Even a gray sky meant something to you.

The rest of the day was spent staring at a computer screen, researching anything you could get your hands on about Barry Milland. It was basically a dead end. Your cell phone buzzed in your pocket, grabbing it to see Dover’s called ID. It was 2 A.M.

“Hello?”

Ralph Dover, son of Keller and Grace was on the other end, “Hi, uh, my mom is kind of freaking out right now. She’s saying someone broke in, she thinks it’s Anna but no one is here.” He sounded nervous and tired. Poor kid.

“Okay, Ralph, we’ll be right there.”

Grace Dover was a wreck. You stood across from her, listening to her recount what she claimed happened.

“And she wasn’t here. And I...I came in here and the window was open. And- and it wasn’t open before, And the...and then Ralph, he- he came in. And he looked and- and uhm- .” Loki walked to the closed window, brushing the sheer curtain back to look as Ralph floated nervously in the hallway. Your eyes remained Grace, her eyes bloodshot and heavy as she watched Loki. “-And then I don’t know. Aren’t you gonna write this down?” Loki looked past her at you as he took out his notebook from his inner breast coat pocket to appease her.

Grace let out an exhale, “The basement. I didn’t check the basement. We need to check the basement. I’ll show you. I’ll show you.” Loki looked towards the bedside table covered in prescription medication for Grace’s anxiety since the abduction. He had experienced the same thing with you, a prescription being the only thing to get you to sleep months after the accident. He knew Grace wasn’t in the right mind, but he went along with it anyway. She walked out of the room frantically, brushing past an obviously distraught Ralph. Loki followed her out as you caught his elbow, “I’m going to stay up here with Ralph.” Loki nodded as he continued to follow Grace.

“Hey, Ralph. Is it okay if I talk with you for a second?’

Ralph shrugged, “I guess.”

“Has your mom been sleeping much lately? At least that you know of?”

He shrugged again, eyebrows furrowing, “I mean, not really. When she does it’s because dad makes her take the medicine the doctor gave her. When she isn’t sleeping, she’s crying.”

You nodded along, “And you? Are you doing okay?”

“Not really.” He stopped talking when he saw his mother reappear in the hallway, Loki behind her. The look on David’s face concerned you.

David slammed the driver’s door shut as he got in the car. He breathed heavily as he slid a hand over his face in frustration, “Grace said Keller was out with the search party, but you and I both know he’s not. And now Alex is missing. There's half a bag of lye in Keller's basement along with shelves of doomsday shit, something is up.”

“You think Keller had something to do with it, don’t you?” You wouldn’t be surprised, very few things shocked you anymore.

Loki didn’t say anything, only turning the keys in the ignition and driving home in silence.

It was raining as you sat in the Crown Vic alongside Loki. You watched the water droplets fall down the window, collecting at the bottom. Stupid fucking rain.

Today you were trailing Keller Dover to see where he went when he claimed he was searching for his daughter when he wasn’t. You watched with tired eyes as Keller pulled out of his driveway while Loki turned the car on and followed.

Loki pulled up to a light, Keller had pulled into a liquor store across town on the corner of Wallace and Campello Street. Except when Keller got out of his truck, he didn’t walk into the store, he walked towards an old building across from the liquor store. What are you doing?

Behind you, a trash truck pulled up and laid on it’s horn signaling the light was green. Loki didn’t move, his eyes were still on Keller who had now turned around at the sound of the horn. Loki was agitated, telling the truck to go around so as to not blow your cover. Keller turned around and started walking towards you and into the liquor store. Loki pulled into a vacant lot across from the liquor store, “Fuck.”

Loki turned off the car and rubbed his hands together to create some sort of warmth, still refusing gloves as he reached on the dash to grab his coffee beans, popping a few in his mouth. At least some things never changed. The rain continued to pour down outside, each drop hitting the window added to the memory of the night of your little girl’s death. It had stormed that night, worse than anyone had seen in Pennsylvania in a long time. Your hatred of rain was deeply rooted.

“Come on, Mr. Dover.” You heard Loki mutter to himself as you brought your legs underneath you in the seat. Might as well get comfortable while you waited. You look out of the rain covered windshield to see Keller approaching quickly with his hood up, popping open the liquor bottle he had in a brown paper bag and taking a long swig.

He stood at Loki's window that had been rolled down, leaning at the waist as he spoke, “Why are you following me?”

“Get in the car.” Loki demanded; Keller opening the rear passenger side door and sitting down, you and David turning to look at him. He looked even more tired than when you saw him last. His eyes were different though, changing from a scared father to a godless and angry man.

Keller asked the question again, “Why are you following me?”

Loki looks him over before speaking, “Where were you going just now?”

Keller took a deep breath, “I parked at a liquor store.” He held up his bottle of liquor he had taken a drink from previously, “-I have a bottle of liquor. You’re the shit-hot detective. Work it out.” He took another drink from the bottle, the stench of whiskey filling the car. You wanted to puke, it reminded you too much of your drunk of a so called father.

“I actually meant before that. You were walking in the opposite direction across the parking lot. Towards Campello Street.”

Keller took another drink before answering Loki, “Yeah, well...I haven’t had a drink in nine-and-a-half years. I figured if I walked around the parking lot for a while, by the time they opened, I’d stop wanting it that bad. And then-then I saw you two. Sorta helped me make up my mind.” He seemed to have an explanation for everything.

There was a long pause before David broke the uncomfortable silence, “There’s a bag of lye in your basement that’s half empty. Your wife thinks you’ve been helpin’ us...but we all know that’s not true.” Loki turned to look at Keller who was staring at him.

“I used the lye to bury our dog last year. And ‘helping the cops’ sounds better than ‘I’ve been driving aimlessly in my truck ‘cause I don’t know what else to do.’” He really did have an explanation for everything.

Loki questioned him, “Is that what you were doing last Saturday night?”

“Probably. Am I a suspect?”

Loki’s voice went up as he spoke, “No, I’m only asking- I’m only asking ‘cause you assaulted a man who’s now missing.”

Keller looked away briefly, his eyes moving to the yellowing bruise on your jaw before turning back to David, “I heard about that. What happened to him? I thought you had him under surveillance.”

“I’m gonna assume you’re asking me because you have no idea.”

Keller shook his head, “Well, I didn’t think it was something I could get away with.”

Loki deadpanned, “It’s not.”

“Yeah, well. It couldn’t be that he skipped town ‘cause the asshole is guilty. Couldn’t be that, right? ‘Cause that would mean it would be your fault, right?”

“Mr. Dover?” Loki looked at Keller with an intense gaze as Keller’s defense began to crumble in front of you.

“What?” Keller snapped.

“You need to take care of yourself and your wife. That’s the best thing you can do right now. That little girl is gonna need you when she comes home.”

Keller took in a shaky inhale, “Kids gone longer than a week have half as good a chance of being found, and after a month, almost none are. Not alive. All right? So forgive me for doing everything I can-”

Keller struck a nerve in Loki, his finger now in his face, yelling, “You know what? It hasn’t been a fucking week!”

The energy shifted in the car quickly as Keller lunged furiously over the center console, yelling, “You’re right. It’s day fucking six! Day six!” His voice broke as he continued to yell, David blinking harshly beside you, “-And every day she’s wondering why I’m not there to fucking rescue her!” David attempted to calm Keller down as he furiously pointed to himself, “All right. Do you understand that? Me! Not you! Not you! But me! Every day! So forgive me for not going home to have a good night’s rest!” Keller pounded on the center console with his fist, shaking yours and Loki’s seats, “Now, why don’t you look for my fucking daughter rather than fighting-”

Loki interrupted him as Keller began to get emotional, tears welling up in his eyes. Your back was pressed against the dashboard as to put as much space between you and Keller as you could as he spoke, “Don’t follow me.”

Loki held his hand in the air in a calming gesture, “Hey. Hey. Mr. Dover, Mr. Dover.” A long pause occurred before Keller reached for the door handle, stopping as Loki called after him, “You don’t think we’re gonna let you get behind the wheel after you’ve been drinking do you?”

“I’m gonna walk. You look for my daughter.” You sighed in relief as Keller left the car, sinking back into your seat as Loki huffed beside you, eyes blinking harshly as he watched Keller walk away in the rain. Loki ran his hand over his face and jaw, lost in thought as he watched the rain fall.

You crawled into bed alone that night. Loki stayed at the station, reading reports, telling you to go home and sleep. You couldn’t sleep however, for it was still raining outside and you never slept well without David. The sound of the rain outside made you furious, slapping a pillow over your head and squeezing your eyes shut. Somehow, sleep found you, pulling you under by your ankles.

You trudged into the station the next day to find Loki still at his desk where you left him, intently reading his computer screen. When he saw you he motioned for you to come over. He read you whatever he had been so enthralled in, “I looked into the old apartment building Keller was walking towards yesterday, it used to be his father’s. He committed suicide there, Keller and his mother found his body. I think it’s worth checking out.”

The car ride over was quick, Loki driving faster than necessary, he was obviously eager to have a lead in the case that had so far been working against you. You took notice of Keller’s truck in the liquor store parking lot as Loki parked the car. You stepped out of the car, your black boot landing on the slushy ground as the car dinged as Loki got out. The building was old, windows boarded up and looking to be on the brink of collapsing.

Loki inspected the boarded window for a way in, settling on ripping off the plywood. It fell on the ground at your feet as you whipped out your flashlight and looked inside the building. Loki climbed in first and turned for you to join him. You weren’t really up for climbing today but did it anyways, jumping down from the window as Loki’s hand found your hip, steadying you.

You turned around with your flashlight, taking in your surroundings. It was falling apart. Dirty and musty, obviously not being taken care of very well. You and Loki walked through the doorway into another room looking the same as the last except this time you found Keller Dover lying on the ground surrounded by empty whiskey bottles.

Loki tapped him with his foot as he jerked away, squinting up at him through the fluorescence of the flashlight as he spoke, “Hey, rise and shine.”

Loki walked deeper into the room. “I’m not gonna find two girls here, am I?”

You stood in front of Keller who was still laying on the ground, taking in Loki’s words, “Fuck you.”

You looked down at Keller as he moved to sit up, “What about Alex Jones?” You obviously weren't expecting an honest answer, but was curious to see what he would say.

Keller looked at the ground, avoiding your questioning gaze, “What about him? I came here to drink. I don’t want to drink in front of my wife.”

Moving away from Keller you looked around the room as he spoke, “Look, my father left me this building, all right?”

Loki spoke across the room, looking at something you couldn’t see, “You mind giving us a tour?”

Keller stood and put on his coat, glaring at Loki as he walked by with you trailing up the staircase you had come to.

Loki spoke in front of you to Keller, “Why didn’t you tell us about this place?”

Keller huffed, “I didn’t think it mattered.”

“Everything matters.”

The three of you walked into another room filled with old materials and tools, “It’s all pretty much like this.” You couldn’t help but feel like Keller was hiding something, wanting you and David to leave as soon as possible.

“I’m gonna renovate soon.”

Loki nodded in agreement, “Yeah, not as organized as your basement, huh? What’s up with all the survivor gear in there?”

“Pray for the best, prepare for the worst.” Keller’s statement caused O’Malley’s words to hit you in the face, ‘you need to start preparing for the worst.’

Loki spoke ahead of you, “Guess we agree there, yeah?”

Keller led you through door after door, each room looking exactly the same as the last. Loki was getting impatient, as were you. You felt like you were being led through a maze.

As you walked through another door, just like the same, you noticed Keller pause. Loki was across the room with his back turned, missing Keller’s sudden odd behavior. He stood in front of a hallway you hadn’t been down yet, acting as if he were guardian something. He followed Loki’s every move with skeptical eyes, completely missing your own skeptical gaze on him. He was hiding something.

As Loki walked further away, his phone rang in his pocket. He picked it up, speaking to whoever was on the other line. As Loki walked further down the hallway, you could see the color drain from Mr. Dover’s face. What was down there?

Loki reappeared from the hallway running, nodding for you to follow with his notebook in hand. Obviously he had something for the case, you ran out after him, yelling at Keller to go home. You prayed it was something to help those two girls get home. You couldn’t handle anymore let down, your luck was running out fast.

Yet you had no idea what was to come, oblivious to the fact that your world would shatter around you and David soon.

taglist: @lexie-wayland @whew-oh-em-gee @winterlavenderskysworld @buck-this-nasty @heeyirenee @pinkpunkdynamite @eleventhdoctorsangel @multiyfandomgirl40 @thanossexual @speedybonkuniversityzine

#detective loki #detective loki imagine #detective loki x reader #detective loki fanfic #detective loki fanfiction #jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal imagine #prisoners #prisoners 2013 #jake gyllenhaal x reader #jake gyllenhaal fanfic #hugh jackman #fanfiction #detective #david loki #keller dover #poison and wine

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yukippe · 4 years ago

Text

wonder what she thinks of me

for @yuekiweek day 3: reunions | word count: 2.3k | read on ao3

“you need to buy your books suki!!” sokka lectures through the phone. last year suki didn’t buy the books for any of her classes and she was fine. she isn’t actually planning on buying books this year either, except now sokka’s roped her into coming to his book club and she can’t lie and say she doesn’t like to watch sokka rant about something dumb while enjoying the baked goods that sokka will have convinced his gran gran and his parents to make for them.

unfortunatley, this means suki has to brave the bookstore during some fancy author signing to try to buy the book sokka’s demanded everyone read for next week. he’s still talking through the phone, though suki’s mostly tuned him out. she’s normally much better at listening to sokka’s rants, but the bookstore is packed with awkward high school students and suki would rather not, at the moment. she slips around a table of overpriced waterbottles and planners and weaves past a random grandpiano over to one of the computers with the bookstore directory. “sokka,” suki asks as she almost trips over a four year old holding a picture book. “why did you have to send me to this bookstore at this time?”

there’s a huff on the other end of the line and suki sighs deeply, “suki, please you should be thankful! they’re running a special discount if you buy a tote bag to go with the book this weekend!!” well. okay, maybe suki collects tote bags and sokka is probably being a good friend. but suki hasn’t been to this store before, having not bothered with buying her textbooks last year and getting anything for fun as an ebook. but sokka believes in the experience of a physical copy or whatever, so tote bags and author signings it is.

suki puts her phone between her shoulder and ear as she sets her fingers onto the keyboard of the computer directory, “hey, what’s the name of the book again?”

“have you listened to anything i’ve ever said to you?” sokka asks her. suki can picture him in their apartment at his desk, doing something fancy with math as he coaches her through a bookstore, pinching the bridge of his nose out of frustration. suki doesn’t actually need him to tell her the name of the book, she just likes to rile him up sometimes. she types in the title. suki thanks him for his help, asks him if hes found his glasses yet (the same glasses she hid before she left) and hangs up with a smirk.

adaptation by malinda lo. there, young adult section. it’s supposedly sci fi thriller and sokka, though he lacks taste in most things, has always had solid book taste. suki looks around for the sign to section she needs and spots it, tucked behind a tech display and next to the little cafe. suki walks over, eager to grab her book and get out of the shop. she walks through the shelves searching for the author’s with the last name l. malinda lo. there, suki reaches out to pluck the book of the shelf, when the back of her hand brushes against someone else.

suki steps back, book in hand, to look at the girl next to her. she has brown hair in a pretty updo and really cute heart shaped beaded earrings. she looks familiar, but suki isn’t sure where she recognizes her from.

“hi,” the other girl says, her voice sounds like a princess. all bells and whistling wind.

“uh,” suki coughs, smiling crookedly and titling her head. “hi!”

the other girl giggles at her, but her smile is warm and suki finds herself settling. “i’m yue - so adaptation? what made you interested in it?”

“oh, my friend is hosting a book club and this is this months pick,” suki tells her. maybe she should have done a little more research on the book before she’d shown up. she hadn’t really pictured a bookstore as the spot to meet a cute girl.

“oh!” yue says, surprised. “i have the same one assigned for my book club. do you want to grab something to drink and let me tell you about it?”

“sure,” suki says, her smile growing even wider. “that sounds great”

yue winks at her as she grabs the same book of the shelf, “perfect, there’s this bubble tea place a block a way i want to show you.” yue turns on her heel, her hair falling onto her back as yue bounces in her steps. suki checks to make sure her flannel is neat and her docs are tied before hurrying after yue.

the two of them wait in line one behind the other at the register and yue flips through the display before the register of pins and pens and bookmarks. a rainbow lion turtle eraser set catches suki’s eye and she lifts it up to her face to look at it closer. it’s the type of thing aang would like, so suki puts it on top of her book when she gets to the register. after she picks out the simplest canvas tote bad (most of them have obnoxious book puns katara would make fun of her for months about) and pays, suki finds yue waiting by the door peeling a sticker off of a sticker sheet suki remembers seeing on the display.

“so,’ yue asks. “where do you want your sticker?”

suki blinks, “what?”

yue waves the - oh it’s a hello kitty sticker with fairy wings. suki blinks at it, “um. cute?” she gets a smile for her efforts and then yue leans in and grabs her wrist, turning suki’s hand around and carefully placing the sticker onto the back of suki’s right hand.

“so,” yue says, after failing once more to steal a drink of suki’s boba. her mouth is screwed up in a light pout, but it feels teasing. “do you go to ba sing se u?”

only a little while later, they are wandering to nowhere in particular, still holding hands. yue keeps trying to steal a sip of suki’s drink even though when suki ordered yue had made a face at the idea of coffee boba. yue’s own drink is sweet like her. strawberry, reportedly to match yue’s nails which are done up in a neat mimic of the fruit.

suki nods, squeezing yue’s hand and lifting her drink over her head, too high up for yue to reach, though that doesn’t stop yue from playfully batting at it. neither of them caring about what passerby might think as they wobble on the sidewalk smiling at each other full of silliness. “yeah, i’m majoring in gender and women's studies with a minor in literature and art.”

yue lights up, the way she’s done every time suki’s shared a fact with her. suki’s face feels flushed, yue makes her feel like she’s on her first date ever. “oh wow!” yue says. “i’m majoring in four nations politics with a minor in theology and spiritual studies but i would love to see what your classes must be like. i think i could be a student forever, you know?”

and then yue doesn’t let go of suki’s wrist. instead, she links their fingers together and suki watches their hands held together hang between them. she looks up and smiles at yue, stupidly happy for a moment. and really, suki doesn’t even know for sure if yue is into girls even if yue does seem to be flagging. for now, suki just lets yue tug her down the street as her phone buzzes in her new tote bag with texts from sokka she’ll ignore for now.

“hm, not really, i think one degree is enough for me. but academics are cute,” suki says, watching as yue swings their hands back and forth as they walk. they’re both absolutely terrible at walking together, suki’s noticed. they can’t seem to walk in a straight line and suki’s almost fallen off the sidewalk twice already. it’s nice. suki’s finding that yue makes her comfortable everywhere.

“oh?” yue asks, her eyes twinkling. “does that mean you think i’m cute, suki?”

“hmmm,” suki teases out, a trace of laughter in her voice as yue finally manages to dart forward to steal her drink, finally realizing her success would be increased if she let go of suki’s hand. suki doesn’t even mind that much, wow. “well,” suki settles, after a moment of false consideration. “yeah, i think you’re pretty cute.”

yue winks at her, the same way she did in the bookstore, and takes a sip of suki’s bubble tea. then she makes a completely disgusted expression shoving suki’s drink back at her. “suki! that’s so gross, tui and la, how do you drink that?”

suki can’t help the laugh that spills out of her as yue sticks her tongue out and crosses her eyes, making a fuss that shouldn’t be as sweet as it is. well, suki’s always been a sucker for clowns. suki reaches out and links their hands back together and they both sip at their drink as they seem to stop together at the bus.

they make shy eye contact as a bus comes up to the stop. “so,” yue says. “i’ve got to go, i’m meeting up with a friend. but this was really fun, right?”

suki smiles, “yeah, it was really fun.”

“that’s great! i really liked talking with you!” yue informs her. then, yue leans forward and kisses suki’s cheek before turning around, and her earrings sparkle in the sunlight as she jumps onto the bus right before the bus doors close and it pulls away with the rest of the flow of traffic. suki blinks and watches it go, still feeling the soft touch of yue’s lips on her cheek.

when suki pulls her phone out of her bag to video call sokka he immediately points out the lipstick mark on her cheek and she resolves not to give him any details, no matter how much he pesters her

two weeks later, after bemoaning to ty lee about how she was dumb and completley forgot to ask the cute girl she met at the book store for her number, she sees yue again. at sokka’s book club.

the members of the secret book club hadn’t been a surprise for the most part, consisting of sokka (obviously), aang (one of sokka’s only friends who wasn’t a gay girl), azula, mai, ty lee and suki (the gay girls sokka was friends with). sokka’s parents, hakoda, kya and bato, had baked with sokka all last night and prepared a whole table full of snacks that sokka had made her haul over to their apartment. suki thinks it’s a ridiculous amount of food for their handful of friends, and then she and sokka ate a good section of it before their friends even show up.

mai, sokka and azula are arguing over the finer points of the book already even though the meeting has yet to officially start. sokka and azula, to be fair, have actual opinions that they are fiercly defending from their spots on the floor as mai causes problems on purpose on the couch she and ty lee stole as soon as they stepped through the front door.

there was only one person that had yet to arrive, and apparently only aang had met her before. azula had raised an eyebrow at the pronoun and asked sokka if he’d made friends with another gay girl. the answer had been yes, and suki who was looking for another chance at talking to a cute gay girl after flopping earlier in the month and failing at getting yue’s number or social media or anything, was looking forward to meeting the newest cute gay girl sokka was friends with.

sokka had impeccable taste in cute gay girls (besides azula). so really, maybe suki shouldn’t have been so surprised to answer the door when the bell rang to find yue holding a tray of pastries.

yue stands out in the hallway with its broken light, looking as pretty as the moon in the sky. her face breaks into a smile at the sight of suki, and suki’s sure her expression matches. “suki?!” yue asks. “wow, small world huh?”

suki nods back, her cheeks starting to hurt with how big she was beaming. “so,” suki says. “do you think i could make up for last week and get your number?”

laughter comes from behind suki, and suki knows her friends are probably making fun of them right now, but she’s too interested in yue’s answer to pay any attention.

yue rolls her eyes, but she doesn’t stop smiling, “of course suki, now do you want to help me bring these in so i can program it into your phone? no excuses not to call me this time.”

“don’t worry,” suki says as she takes the sweets from yue. “i’ll be sure to blow your phone up more than sokka when he’s trying to prove a point.”

she’s rewarded with another kiss to her cheek (and teasing from her friends at another lipstick stain) and yue’s number in her phone saved as yue🌙💖��.

yue, through suki’s phone, texts something to herself and suki leans over yue’s shoulder to see what it is.

omg yue you’re so hot please go out with me <3

suki bumps yue’s shoulder as best as she can with her hands full and raises an eyebrow. “so, yue?” suki asks. “will you go out with me?”

yue giggles, her lipgloss sparkles and suki wonders what it tastes like, “of course, suki.”

a few seconds later, suki has her question answered and can confidently report that yue’s lipgloss tastes like mango.

suki passes the tray off to sokka, who was helpfully waiting right behind her with the tried familiar expression of accidentally setting up his exes. then, suki tugs yue into the loveseat, kicking out aang who had been sprawled across it.

book club is much more fun than suki was expecting, though almost all things are improved, suki finds, when she’s hanging out with her friends and eating sweets and practically sitting in the girl she likes lap while yue braids her hair and teases sokka with her. yue winks at her as aang and ty lee stop azula and sokka from getting into a fistfight with mai and sticks another hello kitty sticker onto her cheek. suki leans over and kisses the same spot on yue. fair is fair after all.

#atla #yueki #yue #suki #yuekiweek #r.txt #rey's writering #i love how i post before im finished bc im impatient and then i edit for days/j ;_; /

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