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fallingfor-fics · 3 years

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Teachers Pet-chapter 33: Remus

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Chapter 32

I had been letting myself sleep in as long as possible not only for the rest, but to help pass the time. I usually woke up around ten sometimes eleven depending on how late I had stayed up, but today my brain had other plans. I wake awake bright and early at five o'clock. I had only just gone to bed four hours ago so I figured I would be sleeping till noon, but unfortunately I was woken up by a dream. Most would call it a dream, but I called it a nightmare.

Because it was a dream about me being married with kids, except I was married to Severus, not that I hate the idea, I just didn't need to be reminded of how that's never gonna happen. And of course my body loves to do this thing where once I'm awake, I can't go back to sleep. So I decided to just get up now and start my day early. I took my time showering, I even did a hair and a face mask, shaved, and styled my hair without magic, just to pass the time. I took my time figuring out what to wear and I even did eye shadow with my makeup. I brushed out my shirt adding a belt to my waist and looked out the window. The sun had started to rise and peak over the forest line. I looked at the clock and dropped my shoulders when I saw it was only six. "You have got to be kidding me, no way I did all of that in an hour." I said to myself. I was glad all my roommates went home for break, this allowed me some freedom to talk to myself and walk around in my underwear. I grabbed my coat, wand, and Lolita and headed out to walk around. I didn't really have a plan on where I was going to go, but i'd figure it out as I went.

I exited my dormitory and walked into the common room, I hadn't seen many Slytherins that stayed but every now and then we would cross paths in here. I walked out and down the hall not seeing anyone in the halls. It was kind of eerie being awake while the sun was just starting to rise, the school was so empty and quiet. I looked out a window as I passed by and saw the sunrise glistening over the lake, light hitting the water and the surrounding snow. I smiled at the sight and made my way outside. The snow crunched under my boots as I walked over to a bench that sat along the pathway. I sat down on it looking at the lake that was sparkling from the sun's reflection. A cloud of air could be seen every time I breathed out and I could feel my nose getting red. I really loved when it was cold out and there was snow on the ground, I wouldn't have come out here if it was snowing though that would mean it was too cold to come and read. And I could feel the warmth of the sun slowly stretching across my face and hands, spreading warmth on my cheeks. It was so beautiful I couldn't believe I went to school here. I barely even thought of Beauxbatons anymore. I smiled and opened up my book, unfolding the corner as I began to read.

About thirty minutes later I lifted my head from the book, hearing a noise, I looked to my left and saw the noise was the crunching of the snow under the new professor's feet. "Hello." I said smiling as he walked over, hands in his pockets, "Hello Y/n what are you doing out here this early?" he smiled looking out at the lake. "I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep so I came out here to read." I said scooching over so he could sit next to me. He smiled and sat down on the bench. "What about you?" I asked as I looked back to my book. "Oh just an early morning walk. I also could not sleep." I nodded and folded the corner of my page closing my book, "What are you reading?" he asked motioning to my book, I felt my cheeks redden a bit and looked at him and then back at my book. "Um this book called Lolita." I said smiling awkwardly. He hummed in response nodding his head with a smile. "Have you read it?" I asked, nervous of his response, I don't know why I was freaking out I mean there are so many books Im sure no one has actually read this, and even if they have its not like I support every decision made in it, but it is a bit awkward. "No, I've just heard of it." he smiled. We sat for a moment in silence, "So I hear you're a werewolf." I said chuckling lightly at the silly statement I made. He tensed up and bit and looked down at me, "And what leads you to think that." he asked in a bit more of a serious tone, but with a small smile. "Oh nothing just rumours, i'm only teasing." I said playfully, resting a hand on his arm in reassurance, he laughed along shifting in his spot. "Unless you are one, if that's the case then you are indeed way cooler than the last teacher." I joked, he reddened in the face a bit and smiled, "I can assure you I do not grow a tail." he assured me, laughing along. We sat and got to know each other more, he was a really sweet man and I could easily see myself being friends with him. We oddly had a lot in common too, we liked the same artists and movies, he even mentioned how he himself was not too potion savvy. We joked about many failed experiences in the subject.

"So If you went to school here, does that mean you went here with Severus? I mean Professor Snape." I said, shaking my head correcting myself. He sat up straight for a moment and looked out at the lake, he sighed and nodded his head. "Yes I did actually, we were in the same grade." he said, his face softening and his smile slowly fading a bit. I noticed the change in posture and tone and looked at him confused. "Well what was he like? Was he mean like he is now? Did he bully you?" I asked trying to figure out why his energy shifted. He took a moment and cleared his throat. "No, not exactly." I kept my gaze on him, examining his facial expressions. "Did you guys fight or something?" I pried. "Yes you could say that, I had a group of friends, and two of us Sirius and James liked to pick on him often, I would try to convince them to leave Severus alone, but they'd never listen." he said leaning over and resting his elbow on his knees. Taken aback I looked away from him and to the lake. "That's horrible, what would they do to him?" I asked curiously. He took a moment pondering on what to say, "They would pick on him for being in Slytherin and would call him names and such." he confessed. I frowned and looked down at my hands. "Oh." I said quietly. "But Severus was a loner and he wasn't perfect either, but it's really not my place. James never really gave him a chance though, he bullied him from the start and would do it for fun and out of boredom sometimes." he added. I nodded and looked around at the snowy landscape thinking about it.

This would make a lot of sense as to why Severus was so cruel, he clearly had a hard life. It hurt my heart to think about him just trying to go about his day and some obnoxious boys decide to hurt him. I could almost cry at the thought and blinked hard to try and erase the thoughts from my mind. "But what did Snape ever do to them?" I asked, already predicting the answer. "Nothing. He was just a wallflower, associated himself with the dark arts and the wrong people and James saw him as an easy target." he admitted looking down at his feet. "Did they ever apologize? Or befriend him?" I also already knew this answer, "No, James died and Sirius was locked up." he said sadly, I rested a hand on his leg and smiled, "I'm sorry, even though they were bullies, I'm sure they were good friends of yours." I said kindly, "Thank you, they were, but i'm not sure if they would have even attempted to make amends, nor do I think Severus would have any interest in doing so either." he said honestly, "Is Sirius still in Azkaban?" I asked, hoping I wasn't overstepping, I noticed a shift in his eyes when I mentioned the man's name. "No he got out a few years ago and is living in London." he said smiling. I could see a look in his eyes, I searched the blue spheres and tried to identify the look, "Does he have a family?" I asked trying to talk about him more, "No not really. I'm kind of all he's got left." his eyes flashed with a bit of sadness but stayed sparkling on the thought of the man, I smiled to myself when I realized why I recognized the look in his eyes. It was because it was the very same look I had when thinking about Severus. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to make him uncomfortable so I just nodded in response.

I looked at his hand and noticed he didn't have a ring on his finger and looked up at him trying to figure out why he wasn't married. He was so nice and funny and handsome something didn't add up. "Why aren't you married? I mean a handsome man such as yourself you would think would have a partner and kids and stuff." I questioned cautiously, trying not to overstep. He laughed and blushed a bit, sitting up and leaning back on the bench, "I'm not sure, I just haven't met the right person I suppose." I nodded in agreement and just then I spotted a few students walking around inside. "I guess everyone's waking up, breakfast will start soon, wanna walk with me?" I asked politely, standing up and grabbing my book. He nodded and stood up as well, following beside me as we walked back inside the warm building and headed to the great hall. "So why are you here now? Why didn't you come when everyone else comes back from break?" I asked as we walked through the halls. "I guess I just wanted to get my room in order and hang out a bit in the school, it's a very nostalgic feeling, being back." he shared as we walked into the Great hall. We stopped at the staff table to finish up our conversation, I looked up behind him and noticed a dark professor glaring down at us, I furrowed my brows slightly, wondering why he would be so upset about this, but then I remembered what Remus had said, and although Remus maybe didn't participate he was still a bystander, and i'm sure Severus still held that against him, I smiled a little to myself thinking about how I could use this to my advantage. "Okay well I will catch you later at the firework show, it was lovely getting to know you and talk." I said smiling up at Remus, I kindly rested a hand on his arm and looked over to the now tense and fuming Severus, I could practically almost see the steam coming off of him, to anyone else he would look normal, but I could see it in his eyes, and his place fist he had clenched. I didn't understand why he was getting so angry with me fraternizing with Remus, he said so himself he didn't care about me that way.

When I looked back at Remus as he said his goodbye I could have sworn I felt a tug in my mind, a very familiar tug, like someone trying to pry their way in. Remus walked away and up to his seat, which was thankfully far from Severus, and I shot Snape a glare, I knew he was the only one that would be remotely interested in my thoughts and the look in his eyes only confirmed my suspicions. Two can play at this game I thought to myself as I slowly went and sat down where Luna and I had sat yesterday. I wasn't as good as him obviously and had just barely learned how to read thoughts without my wand. But I stared him down trying to get into his mind, it wasn't about reading his thoughts, it was more about making him aware he got sloppy and wasn't undetected in his attempt to read mine, I just needed to ensure he felt it. Which he confirmed when his eyes went from anger to hostility and then back to anger. I stopped my attempts and he glowered at me, I smiled and waved sarcastically and turned to the blonde girl that approached me and sat down. "Having a staring contest with Professor Snape or something?" she said, teasing me a bit. "What? No. I was just waving to the new teacher, I haven't got a clue why Snapes glaring over at me." I lied, which I felt bad doing, but Hermione and Draco were the only ones that knew of my feelings for Snape and I planned on keeping it that way.

Taglist; @lovelyhoneylemon @juliijah

#snape imagine #severusnape #professor snape #snape #severus snape #severus i love you #severus x reader #severus snape x reader #slytherin #Snape slowburn #hogwarts

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gebtoons · 3 years

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my contribution to the bapo timeline discourse bc i’m just gonna propose a timeline and will not be taking criticism <3 (under the cut bc this is gonna be a long post probably)

ok disclaimer I am quite stupid, however I’m gonna use my knowledge from my own 12 years in american public high school and what little info I have about american boarding schools/catholic schools that I have from my friends lol. so. idk.

i’m also gonna date songs/major events and i’m gonna be taking some “just trust me bro” liberties bc y’all are right it does NOT make that much sense.

January 6: Epiphany; this is like an actual holiday lol. like its always on the sixth. idk its good that this is the starting point bc its an actual date yknow? For the purposes of this timeline were going with that its early in the week, so lets go with Monday idk

January 6-13: You and I, Role of a Lifetime; so we’re all kinda in agreement that this timeline (at least the beginning) only really makes sense if you and i/role of a lifetime aren’t like. a singular moment and are instead multiple days. so yeah, of this first week, this is like. monday-next sunday ish yknow.

January 14: Auditions, Plain Jane Fatass; ok so having auditions for a spring musical right after kids get back from break actually makes perfect sense to me, like i can see it being like “ok take break to prepare so as soon as you come back we can have auditions so we can jump right into rehersals” yknow? and since the rave is clearly on a friday (”we’ll meet in tanya’s room on friday night”) so i’m going with the monday before.

as for pjf, i know it doesn’t make a ton of sense for them to get a two week late birthday package their first few weeks back from school, but hear me out it makes sense. the implication throughout this entire show is that the twins have decently shitty parents. from bits of dialogue (in this song in particular lol) i’m kinda inferring their the “only concerned with how their kids make them look to others” kind of neglectful. so I don’t think it’s too outside the realm of possibility that they went away for the holidays, didn’t bring the twins, and instead mailed them a birthday package and having it show up two weeks late. realistically the timing of this isnt that important and the explicit “two week” time frame could’ve been an exaggeration on nadia’s part to mock her shit parents (idk its in her character) basically ppl are a little two fixated on this imo but anyway. moving on.

January 18: Wonderland, A Quiet Night At Home, Rolling, Best Kept Secret; a very agreed upon point in the timeline. its the friday following the auditions. moving on.

January 21: Confession; also very agreed upon. the monday following the rave. moving on again

January 23: Portrait of a Girl; the date here is kinda arbitrary, but bc sister chantelle says “ok lets try to put yesterday’s rehearsal behind us” and i for the life of me cannot think of a scene she could be referring to (there’s none in the script either) that implies it wasn’t the same monday as confession (bc even in a boarding school i think holding extracurriculars that aren’t sports over the weekend (especially when they are no where near crunch time lol) is weird and not common) so i just picked a random day during the week

January 25: Birthday Bitch!, One Kiss, Are You There?; from matt’s line in wonderland, ivy’s birthday is a week after the rave. in my timeline that’s january 25th (an aquarius queen).

btw given all grown up’s “17, how will i manage?” ivy is 16 during 17 at her party, which is strange given shes a high school senior and seniors are typically 17 during 18. so either a) she skipped a grade, not an unheard of thing. or b) shes not a senior, shes just a junior who hangs out with a bunch of seniors, which is also pretty common. and looking through the script i can’t find any mention that she is also a senior, other than yknow she graduates with them, but she isn’t mentioned during the class ranking scene? so idk not that it really matters just a fun detail

February 3 (at night): 911 Emergency!; ok controversial. i know i like the joke about how its funny that peter having a weird dream when he was high prompted him to want to come out and really ruined his relationship with jason. BUT. i think the dream (despite it’s weirdness) would have a lot more meaning if it wasn’t the result of being really high, but if it was a dream he had like a week later as a result of a building sense of guilt/anxiety bc he told matt. also it fits better given later timeline things. (this timeline literally only exists if there are weird jumps in time that don’t make a ton of sense) (EDIT: I forgot one line about Jason crashing at ivys but fuck it forget that bitchass line this makes for more drama its staying this way)

February 4: Reputation Stain’d, Ever After; the next day following peter’s dream, idk what else to say, moving on.

February 25-28: Spring; another jump! i’m sorry but the only way for this to make sense logistically is for there to be quite a few time jumps! however, i also think this one works bc i think it gives time for everything from around ivy’s party and peter and jason’s break up to stew emotionally. like obviously a musical only has so much time to tell a story so the audience cannot see every realistic beat, but honestly i think it makes the whole thing a little more dramatic™ if there’s space for everything to settle, and for ivy to come and apologize and such. also, the reason it’s multiple days is bc in the script, ivy is trying to study (presumably for some sort of midterm) while nadia is playing, so that probably takes place a few days before they move out, so before finals. but in the script, jason and peter are packing and peter is leaving, so that part of the song/staging takes place on the 28th. yes, that’s weird, but we are clearly thinking more about the logistics of this school than the writers were so.

March 1: One; assuming st. cecilia’s works kinda like boarding schools here, they probably do staggered move out/move in, just bc that would be a lot to have people coming and going at once so it makes sense that peter left the day before, while jason and ivy are leaving the next day. also, given that peter is trying to call jason while he and ivy are banging, it’s probably been a hot minute since the actual break up, since peter was clearly very hurt by the whole thing, it would make sense (at least to me) that peter would reach out a month ish later, rather than like a few days later (you have to make so many assumptions to make this timeline work granted they aren’t super out there assumptions but still this is annoying)

March 1-25: Spring Break. the coworkers I have who are in boarding school work over their school breaks, which are longer than the public school breaks (which are only a week) so i put their spring break at 3 weeks. it makes sense, and it makes the later part of the timeline make sense.

I know i’m already halfway through this, but to me it makes sense for their to be quite a few time jumps in the story bc its a musical. they cannot show every day. there are a lot of other shows (particularly shows set in high schools) that are set over a whole school year, but if you just look at the events of the story that doesn’t make sense, so you have to imply that obviously they are not showing every little detail. moving on.

March 25: Wedding Bells, In The Hallway, Touch My Soul; peter wakes up from his nightmare in the church, so im assuming he fell asleep in church (like he almost did during epiphany). also it makes sense that class ranks are announced in late march-early april, I know my school announced ours in like, the first week or so of april? so yeah. moving on.

(from this point on i was giving myself a headache trying to make it make sense so its all weird from here!!)

April 4: See Me, Warning; the date doesn’t really matter here, I picked a random day in early april. the script said peter is calling from him and jason’s old dorm room, as he was picking up the last of his things, so he clearly made the roommate switch after school started (makes sense to me).

April 15-20 (approximately): Ivy finds out she’s pregnant. look google tells me on average people find out they are pregnant around 5-7 weeks after conception. i went with around 7 just so this timeline makes a tiny bit more sense given the later stuff, so yeah here we go.

May 4: Pilgrim’s Hands, God Don’t Make No Trash, All Grown Up, Promise, Once Upon A Time, Cross; a rough night for our heroes. so given sister chantelle saying “again? wonderful.” and nadia saying “i can’t believe you missed rehearsal again”, clearly ivy has been missing quite a few rehearsals, so for dramas sake maybe from when she found out she was pregnant? also i know i’ve been saying they wouldn’t have rehearsals on weekends, and given my weird timeline this would be a saturday, but its tech week so i’ll allow it.

May 5: Two Households, Bare, Queen Mab, A Glooming Peace; pretty self explanatory, and it makes sense to have the spring play in early may. rip jason.

May 11: Absolution; the day before graduation peter goes to confront the priest. gives him a small amount of time to start processing, and it makes sense it would be the night before, at least to me.

May 12: No Voice; i fucking hate this. “peter, we graduate next sunday” i hate that stupid fucking line. do you know that this timeline literally would be fine if it weren’t for that stupid fucking line? bc then, the school play would be in early may and graduation could be in late may-early june (when most high schools hold graduation) but no. keeping with continuity, they have to graduate the sunday following the school play. “peter we graduate in a month, are you really never gonna talk to me again?” would have been fine. but no, now we have beef. literally everything else about the end of this timeline being kinda weird would work itself out, except for the fucking graduation. god damn. anyway, may 12th, the graduate on may 12th which is really fucking weird bc of that one fucking line. whatever. i didn’t write the damn thing bc if i did i wouldn’t have written that fucking line. (i’ve been at this for over an hour and a half, so i’m a tad annoyed, can you tell?)

anyway, that’s it. that’s my long as hell proposed bare timeline. if there’s anything glaringly wrong with it i don’t care bc this timeline literally cannot make sense. but honestly, now that i think about the Popular Tween High Schooler Musicals (heathers, bmc, deh) the timelines of those (especially heathers and bmc) don’t make tons of sense either. that’s just the way it is, that’s the way its gonna be. and we have to live with it.

this post is so long it is actually slowing down my laptop as i type it

#bare a pop opera #bapo #me speaks #i stg there is no real way to make this timeline make sense #a whole lotta this is #it makes sense bro trust me bro #also apologies if this is hard to read i am not very good at phrasing things over text #or at all

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3mmafr0st · 3 years

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Remember Me Pt 4

Previous <------

Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: SMUT, angst, swearing, incarceration? and my shitty writing

A/N: Please comment or reblog, any feedback is amazing!

The room was small, with an interrogation table in front of me, everything the same shade of muted grey I woke up here earlier, and had been waiting for someone, anyone to come in and give me some information. Tugging at the cuffs that pinned me down to the table, I struggled to break free.

“Sorry, you’re not gonna be able to get out of those. They’re made for enhanced people.” My eyes immediately darted to find the sound, settling on a man walking through the door.

“It’s you, from the lab. Who are you, how do you know my name? Where’s Bucky?” The questions began spilling out of my mouth, desperate for some sort of answers as to what the hell is going on. The man pulled out the chair that sat across from me, a file of papers in his hands.

“My name is Bruce, and let’s start with how much you remember,” He said. The name felt familiar, and although I was fighting him off before, I knew that I could trust him for some reason. His face was kind, and his voice was low and calming.

“It’s bits and pieces, nothing before Hydra, although I wish I did know, how do you know me?”

“Your name is Y/N Banner, a young scientific prodigy in quantum physics. According to records, you were the only one who was able to crack the secret of the Pym particle. You disappeared when you were nineteen years old after a college party, and no one had seen you since until now.” Banner, that was my last name, Banner. It had a nice ring to it, it felt powerful, strong.

“How long has it been since then?” He takes a deep breath, contemplating whether he should tell me or not.

“It’s been thirty-seven years.” It felt like a punch to the gut, they stole that much time from me. They stole thirty seven years from my life. Rage began coarsing through my veins, I needed to expel this, now. I smashed my hands into the table, before letting out an annoyed “fuck” from the pain. My hands left a small dent in the metal table.

“I’m sorry about the table, it's just, when you find out 37 years have been stolen from you, its hard to control your anger.”

“I know the feeling, believe me.” His hand fell over mine, and his eyes met mine, and although it was cloudy, something bubbled to the surface.

“Hey Stats, do you think I could get a hand with this?” Bruce’s voice called through the house. I rounded out of my own room to the room next door, where Bruce sat on his bed, books spread across the sheets and papers in every direction. His eyes looked up to me, pleading for help.

“Okay kid, what’s going on?”

“It’s this parabola problem, I’ve tried it like a billion times!” I laughed a little at his remark

“Bud, you and I both know that a billion is a bit of an overstatement. Let me see what we can do.” I saw the mistake immediately, a small computing error that he had been doing every single time. I circled the small mistake that had been throwing the whole problem off. He groaned loudly, letting out an annoyed “Really?”

“It’s gonna be okay, it was just a little computing error is all, there’s nothing to worry about.”

The two of us just sat, talking about school and stuff, how we were excited for the new school year. Bruce’s face fell, halfway through my sentence about the dorms.

“Bruce, what’s wrong?” He held his tongue for a moment, eyes beginning to get glassy.

“Why do you have to go away this year? Why can’t you just stay here, like regular?” I sighed. I knew he would react like this. I was finally 18, which meant legally, I could move out. Although I had completed most of my time in college at home already, I was going for my second doctorate and I wanted to finally have the chance to have the normal college experience, or at least as close to it as I could get. I needed to be an adult for once, be seen as an adult and not the child prodigy that I had always been seen as.

“Buddy, you know I want to be with you, hell, I’d bring you with me if I could, but they don’t allow 8 year olds in college dorms. I need to be an adult now, and I can’t do that staying home.” His eyes began to water, and I opened my arms out to him. “Come here, buddy.”

Bruce cried like that for a half an hour, as I held the small boy in his sadness, until he began to drift off to sleep.

“You’re the boy?” I said, looking at him. He definitely looked like the boy from my memory, but much older, with more lines on his face and a small scraggly bit of stubble, as if he had forgotten to shave, with a floppy curly mess on top, just like the boy had.

“What boy?” He asked tentatively, his eyes telling the story of hesitation and hurt, like he was holding back hope in fear of his heart breaking another time.

“There was a boy. I helped him with his math homework. He cried and I held him, his name was Bruce.”

“You remember?”

“Im starting.”

“You ok?” Steve asked me, nudging my arm. His eyes looked down at me in concern but I reassured him.

“I’m okay, Steve, I’ll be okay.”

“Tony couldn’t get us rooms next to each other, you’re on the fifth floor, I’m on the second.”

“Sounds good.”

Steve and I had grown to become pretty great friends since I got back. Steve and Bruce were the only ones that I felt safe enough around to talk to at the compound even from the beginning. I spent most of my time in the past few months either spending time with Bruce, and recovering my memories, or working with Steve to find Bucky. Spending my days going through mounds of papers and mission reports, to lunch dates working in the lab to help me regain that one and a half PhDs of information had been a daily occurrence and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Well, I would have it one other way. The only thing that would have made it better would be if Bucky was here with me. That’s why we were here, to find him and bring him home. We found a lead that told us he had been in Nevada for a while, specifically Vegas. We had booked a room at the hotel that he had been seen at.

As the elevator doors opened, Steve held the door open for me. “Get a good night’s sleep, we’ll get to work in the morning.”

“See ya in the morning, Steve.” I told him, as the doors began to close, leaving me in the hallway of the fifth floor. It was nice of him to go with me all the way up the elevator. I walked the long and winding halls until I found the right number, room 2603. Swiping the small key card against the scanner, the door clicked open and I walked inside. The room was clean, and out of complete habit, I began scanning the room for bugs, checking around the room to make sure nothing was listening in. Once I sweeped the place, the bed began to call to me, and I abandoned my clothing, before getting myself into bed, only a comfy shirt and panties left clinging to my body. With all the work that we had been doing to find Bucky, it was nice to have a chance to at least try and get some rest.

Bucky’s POV

I had hoped that she would come. There wasn’t much that I remembered, not yet at least, but she was coming back to me. I didn’t know how I knew here, but she was important, I could feel it. I knew the other guy was there two, Steve, the one I knew a long time ago, but for some reason, I knew I needed to see her. The two of them were important to me, I just knew it. There was an abandoned building to the side of the hotel that they were staying at, and I could see into the window of her room. The lights were dark, as she slept comfortably in her bed. I knew I shouldn’t, but I had to get closer, to see her. The clear, glassless window that I sat at was a clear shot from the balcony of her room.

Backing up from the edge, I took in a deep breath, calming my heart rate as I began running towards the opening. Pushing off the cement framing, I launched myself into the air, pushing myself forward even more until I felt my feet hit the cement of the balcony.

I could see her in there, sleeping. Somewhere inside of my head I knew this whole thing was wrong, but I couldn’t seem to stay away from her. It was creepy, wrong, but she looked so peaceful and innocent. It was a familiar feeling, not being in control, but this was different.

My head screamed out about how wrong this was, how disgusting I was being, while the rest of me was breaking the lock off of the door, walking into the room. The sound of the lock breaking and the door opening must have been too much sound, her body shot up in her bed, looking straight at me.

Reader POV

This has to be a dream, it couldn’t be anything else, a lucid dream that my brain had created to cope with the nightmares. There he stood, in the same room as me, dirty jacket and a baseball cap. His hair had gotten longer, like he hadnt been able to get it cut.

“Bucky?” My voice wavered with nerves and emotion, so scared that the man would disappear if I acknowledged that he’s here.

“You know me.” His voice was low and gruff, like he hadn’t had to use it in a while. I could feel my heart break. Although it was a statement and not a question. I could tell that he wasn’t all there, he didn’t remember me. Was this what Bruce felt like? Was this what it was like for him to see me, to know me, but the memory unreciprocated? A tear began to fall down my face, unable to control it.

“Yes, Buck, I know you.”

“Who are -“ he struggled to speak. “Who are you to me?” The knife that was already gutting me twisted into my stomach even more.

“Do you want to come closer?” I tried to keep calm as I spoke, not wanting to scare the man off. He was reluctant to come near me. “I promise, I’m not going to hurt you.”

“In all fairness, that's not what I’m worried about, doll.” There was a flash of him, of my Bucky pushing through the fog to find me. I must have taken too long. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that, I-“

“Come here, please.” Hesitantly, he walked closer, but not close enough. Pulling the covers off of myself, I rose from the bed, walking to meet him in the middle.

“Who are you?” He was close, his breath fanning my face as I looked up at him.

“Can I show you?” He nodded, almost desperately, and I closed the gap between us, pushing myself into him and meeting my lips with his. At first he was shocked, not moving his lips against my own, but after a moment, it was as if pure instinct took over, as his mouth roughly kissed mine, pushing me back into the bed.

My back hit the covers, and I gasped out in surprise, giving Bucky the chance to deepen the kiss. Our tongues battled for dominance for a short while, but he won out in the end. I wrapped my fingers in his hair, tugging slightly. The man groaned out into my mouth, sending the feeling straight to my core.

Fuck, it had been too long. His hands were on me, holding my waist down on the bed. I gasped out, feeling as his metal hand had found its way under my shirt, playing with the flesh, twisting and pinching at my nipple; My hips bucked up, rolling over his clothed dick, and he let out a louder moan. I tested, rolling my hips over a few more times, before Bucky got impatient.

Bucky’s hand immediately trailed downward, slipping his hand past my panties. Two fingers pressed at my clit, and I cried out, hypersensitive after being away from him for so long. He was oddly silent, no clever quips or comments that I had been used to. I still couldn’t tell how much he really remembered.

His fingers began to make rough and harsh circles on my clit, making my back curl up into his chest.

“Fuck, Bucky, please!” I cried out, absolutely wrecked just by his touch after so long away from him. Quickly, fingers moved downwards, circling my entrance before easing them into me. Eyes rolled into the back of my head as he found that spongy spot inside of me, curling his fingers over it. I could feel the tightened knot in my stomach threatening to snap.

“Buck-“ I cried out as he suddenly sped up, pushing his fingers in and out of me as fast as he could. Screaming out, the knot snapped, my vision going white as the tsunami like wave passed through my body. Bucky slowed down his fingers, working me through my orgasm until the feeling had passed.

The sound of his belt unbuckling was music to my ears, knowing what was coming. The anticipation was absolutely killing me, as I heard fabric shift, feeling the rough fabric of his jeans slide away, along with his boxers. My head threw back as he began to tease, running the tip of his dick up and down me, never getting quite near where I needed him most.

“Bucky please, fuck me,” I breathed out, barely able to catch my own breath. He began to line himself up with me, and then suddenly without warning, slammed his hips into me. “Holy fuck, Bucky!”

His fingers dug into my hips harshly, I hoped that it would leave bruises after. His hips pistoned into me fast and harsh, the man knew what he wanted and he was going to get it, and goddamn it felt fucking good. His lips claimed mine, swallowing the sounds coming from my throat. It was like he was everywhere, I could only feel him.

It was all too overwhelming, and with little warning, my second orgasm hit me like a freight train. I cried out for him, as his hips began to falter from his pace, getting closer and closer to his release. His dick twitched inside of me, and I felt as he spilled inside me, filling me up.

The sun began to creep through the window, waking me up. Confused, I got up from the hotel bed, I could have sworn that I had left the blinds shut when I fell asleep last night. I was pleasantly surprised with my own head last night. Normally, when my head hit the pillow, all I would see were the faces of the people I killed, reliving the awful memories that I have to deal with, but last night was different. I got to see Bucky. It was so real, his hands on my skin, his fingers and dick inside me.

I examined the door, looking for a moment, and noticing the lock that had been crushed, pulled out, and sat on the balcony. I couldnt understand what happened, until I looked at my own body. Lifting up my shirt slightly, I could see the purple indentations of his fingertips, Bucky’s fingertips.

It hadn’t been a dream after all.

#Bucky Barnes #James Buchanan Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes x banner!reader #bucky fanfic #tfatws #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky smut #smut #angst #marvel smut #marvel fanfic #marvel self insert #marvel imagine #marvel fanfiction

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soulwillower · 4 years

Text

mustang • richie tozier

( richie tozier x reader smut)

requested: road head with richie?? his car in it chapter 2 is ... so hot + can we get an aged up richie tozier smut pleaseee??? + Hii, could you do one about Richie and the reader seeing each other at the restaurant in chapter 2, both single ;), and just like old emotions coming back and the other losers banter.

warnings: swearing, smut, oral (male receiving), ROAD HEAD!!!!, teensy bit of praise, some dirty talk, flirting, i think thats rly it, i had NO IDEA what to title this lol, this progresses kinda quickly once it gets goin lol also unedited

im not too sure about how this turned out :// i may go back and edit some things

[takes place during it chapter 2]

2k words

♡

this is fucking insane.

that's all that's screaming in your mind and most of what you can say as you talk to mike, eddie, and bill in the back room of the jade orient, catching up with awkward small talk as faded childhood memories bubble painfully to the surface.

a gong crash makes you jump- and even before you turn around, you hear a voice. "y/n fucking y/l/n? no way." the voice says, and you can't help the grin as you whirl around to greet the man you just remembered ten minutes ago.

richie tozier, in all his glory - now, in your defense, you did kinda remember him from his special on netflix. he’d been crass and rude and funny in a way that had made you roll your eyes and at the time, you’d felt a strangely familiar sensation when he’d mentioned his nickname, “trashmouth.”

now it made much more sense to you.

he’s old now, of course, but he still seems basically the same - the hair, the broad shoulders and long legs, the disheveled yet-somehow-still-sexy style, and his smirk that makes your legs weak.

"you miss me or what, asshole?" you say, a smile splitting your face as you opened your arms. he laughs, walking over to hug you tightly. hugging him gives you instant flashbacks, memories of childhood dares, blowing smoke out window screens, laughter in the middle of the derry grocery store where stan and ben worked, and shitty jokes.

"you could say that." richie mutters.

as the others arrive and you order food and get to catching up, you take in richie's appearance even more. you can’t fucking help it - he’s somehow grown even more into his looks, and he's got the most insane charisma. he's wearing the same glasses as he used to, and when he laughs really hard he pushes them up with his middle finger. he's got a five o'clock shadow dusting his jaw and he's still as tall as ever, his voice loud as he cracks jokes that have you laughing into your vodka tonic.

after richie pulling a full mile, round-about way of joking that he married eddie's nightmare of a mom, you're all laughing as he imitates jabba the hut. you roll your eyes, hating how badly you want him after all this time. at least hes not married.

"so you single too, y/l/n?" richie asks you then, calling your attention as he grins at you. you rake your eyes over his form quickly, hoping he doesn't notice.

yes, the answer was unequivocally yes.

you hum instead. "for now." you say, lifting a flirty brow at him before sipping on your drink. he smirks into his own glass and it makes your stomach burn halfway between anticipation and desire as the others share glances.

"almost forgot about that." ben says quietly with a smile to bev, and you shoot them a questioning look.

bev sends you a knowing smirk as she nods to richie, who's teasing eddie again and you roll your eyes. you feel like a kid again, being back with all of your friends from when you were young and getting teased every living moment for your pining after richie.

as you all get ready to go back to the townhouse after the shocking final events at the jade, you pull your phone out to call a cab. "you didn't get a rental?" bill asks, lifting a brow. you shake your head, "no. didn't really think of it, i just kind of..." you trail off, memories flashing around your mind of late nights in high school, screaming as you lean out richie's car window with stan laughing and eddie gripping your legs.

you shake your head. everybody looks as if they're remembering the same things you are, staring at the horizon with blank, furrowed faces. richie's the first to snap out of it, "i can give you a lift, y/n." he mutters, fishing a pair of keys out of his pocket then twirling them around his finger.

eyeing richie's profile, you smirk lightly, thinking about how immediate your attraction to him has returned in just the last few hours. as you walk away from the others, you lay your gaze on a red car and you whistle. "sweet ride, is this yours?" you ask, biting your lip as you eye the mustang richie's just unlocked.

"depends on who's asking, sugar." he says with a smirk, snorting when you narrow your eyes at him. you don't think what he just said even makes sense.

"what, so richie tozier gets all famous and can't tell me anything anymore?" you ask as you slide into the passenger seat.

"we're strangers, are we not?" he's got that fucking smirk still. the same one from childhood, except this one is much more... provocative.

you shake your head, "i don't think strangers give each other rides home in their mustangs just out of the goodness of their heart, do they?" you say as he pulls out of the parking lot, and he grins. you clench your legs together as the streetlights light up his profile, his hair perfectly messy and his jaw line sculpted.

"depends, sugar, what're you gonna give me in return?" he asks, a glint in his eye as he glances at you. his words send shivers through your body and you stare at him with a smirk, "i'm sure i can think of something."

he hums, looking back to the road with a grin. as you watch scenery pass by you of the town you'd forgotten for twenty years, you realize he's going all the way around town towards the inn. "you going the long way for a reason?" you ask, watching as he clenches his jaw as if he's been caught.

"don't know what you're talkin' about, y/l/n." he mumbles, but there's that damn glint in his eye again as he smirks. you grin, looking out the window at the passing trees on the path into derry. "yeah, yeah. i just think you wanted to spend more time with me." you say as you look over at him. he's smirking lazily as he watches the road, one arm on the steering wheel. "maybe." he responds.

richie pulls up to a stop light and for a second, the two of you sit and stare at each other, so many unspoken words hovering in the air.

and then, without another thought, richie's lips are hard against yours, pressing heatedly against yours and moving quickly. his hand is on your thigh, squeezing as you kiss back and making you moan into his mouth.

your hand falls onto his neck, tugging lightly on his curly strands as you kiss him, tasting scotch and cigarettes and freedom. you've waited too long, you realize - you spent your entire childhood staring after the boy with the tropical shirts and the big glasses, and now you're here with him, grown up and free to do what you want.

and he's kissing you.

just as his tongue wins dominance over yours, a loud honk makes you jump apart and you realize the light's turned green. "fuck." he says quietly, stepping on the gas pedal and racing off down the otherwise empty road. you look at each other and he smiles sheepishly, "fuck, y/n, you're so hot." he says quickly, and you laugh lightly, feeling flattered.

you lean back over the console as he drives so you're next to his ear, hand sliding down his chest slowly. "you're not too bad yourself, tozier." you say lowly, kissing his jaw. he turns and kisses you heatedly, taking your breath away quickly as he turns back to the road with a smirk.

unable to bear the tension, and feeling really desperate, you start to kiss his neck. "richie, i need you." you whine quietly and you feel him swallow harshly. "shit, doll." is all he says, his hand falling to grip your thigh possessively.

you keep going, your hand sliding down until you’re gripping his hard cock through his jeans and teasing your palm over it, sucking a mark into his neck which makes him groan.

"you got a deathwish, babe?" he says lowly as you nip at the skin under his jaw, your hand palming him teasingly. he's already hard and you smirk against his skin. "relax, all you have to do is drive." you say as you undo your seatbelt, twisting so you can palm him better. he spreads his legs slightly as he readjusts, letting out a quiet "fuck, yeah." as you undo his jeans.

"you're a dream, y/n." he says tightly, like he's clenching his jaw.

his knuckles are white as he clutches the wheel, eyes darting between the road and you as you slowly pull his hard cock out of his underwear and pump him slowly. your eyes widen as you take in his size, not expecting him to be as big as he is.

you slowly dart your tongue out, swiping along the tip and collecting the precum as it beads over. "shit." richie hisses as you flatten your tongue along the bottom of his cock, teasing him a bit before slowly taking him into your mouth.

the groan he lets out as you take him as far as you can is sinful, his head hitting back against the headrest as he struggles to keep his eyes on the road. bobbing your head, you hollow your cheeks and relish in the feeling of richie's cock in your throat, stretching you out and making you moan around him.

"you feel so good baby." he hisses, his hand moving from your thigh up to grip the wheel while he lays on the gas before falling to the back of your head, carding through your hair. you want to roll your eyes at how much he's talking, but you expected just about that from the trashmouth. "fuck."

you can't believe you're here, in derry again, sucking off famous comedian and - as you remembered a few hours ago - your former childhood crush, richie tozier, in his car.

you see lights out of the corner of your eye and you feel the car come to a stop, and you realize you’re stopped at a light. you can hear another car engine either next to yours or behind yours and you clench your thighs at the thought of someone seeing. “fuck, y/n. god, takin’ my cock perfectly.” he mutters, watching you bob your head, and despite the lewd act you’re doing, you turn bright red at the praise.

as the light turns green he’s stepping on the gas again and you pull off of him to take a few breaths, pumping as much as you can with your hand as he moans lightly. you see you're nearing the town house, so you take him back into your mouth and try to relax, breathing through your nose as his cock twitches in the back of your throat and you gag.

you bob your head after that, your tongue flat against his cock as he pulls into the parking lot.

you feel him put the car into park and then he moans lowly, bucking his hips up and you choke a bit as he slides further in your mouth and stretches your throat. "fuckin' hell, toots." he mutters, hands falling to your hair as he guides your mouth up and down on his cock. your mind reels back slightly at richie's words and you remember all the times you watched him show up to school with hickies littering his neck, all the hours you spent pining after this gangly asshole, and you hollow your mouth.

"god, i'm gonna cum. y/n. fuck," richie mutters and you eagerly swallow around him, moving slightly so you're on your knees on your seat, the new angle making him toss his head back against the headrest. one of his hands travels the expanse of your back, tracing down your spine as you move harder, helping him chase his high. he kneads your ass lightly, which makes you keen forward and take him deep, gagging as you force your throat to relax.

"good, just like that." he says quietly, breathy moans escaping his throat as he bucks his hips and you gag, eyes tearing up.

and then he's hitting his high, cumming in your mouth with a groan of your name, his hand squeezing your ass as the other holds your head down on his cock. you moan a bit as you swallow, pulling off him slowly as he pants, smirking down at you.

"well shit, if i'm getting that for driving you home, i'll be your personal chauffeur." he insists. you smack him lightly on the arm as you wipe your mouth, catching your breath.

it gets silent then, as if you're both realizing what just happened and how quickly it escalated.

he lets out a breath as he stares at you, eyes hooded. you bite your swollen lip as you watch him, gauging his reaction. "do you want to... come up to my room?" he says breathlessly, looking blissed out.

you bite your lip as he lifts a brow and you nod. "yes, i really do." you say as the two of you scramble out of his car, minds distracted from the danger ahead and only thinking about making it up to his room.

tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @stenbrozier @simplesammyx @dickology64 @clownsloveyou @baby-yoda-a @moon-shine-baby @daughter-of-the-stars11 @lets-vibe-bro @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @finnskindofwoman @kait-tozier @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell @beverlyparkerr @beauregard-s @diorbubs

#richie tozier x reader #richie tozier smut #richie is famous #losers club x reader #losers x reader #bill denbrough x reader #stanley uris x reader #eddie kaspbrak x reader #beverly marsh x reader #mike hanlon x reader #ben hanscom x reader

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between-two-fandoms · 4 years

Text

Who We Used To Be (Ray/Rose/Trevor)

As told by myself and @thesevenumbrellas tag teaming the whump in the 18+ JatP discord. Sev I swear we operate on the same braincell levels, we do be clowning. @bobbywilsonsupremacy let us know what you think of this! I know you and I both hardcore ship Raybse.

Cover was created by @thesevenumbrellas. Please don’t steal it.

This post got long so fair warning.

We wrote this in a discord server over the time span of hours so there’s some mistakes but i’m too lazy to go back and fix it all. Basically we tag teamed on a Raybse Trevor Wilson-centric whump story and can destroy a fandom with a single touch.

You’ll understand once you click the cut.

Don’t Steal Our Writing (but please reblog this to spread it around).

Trauma Time.

major whump warning

(Ren) Okay so if we're gonna be starting at 90's ot3 my children ray/bobby/Rose know that Ray is a panic bi and loves both of these humans very much with his whole ass heart.

(Ren) He takes pictures of his girlfriend and boyfriend while they’re on dates because he wants to capture the moments he was happy the most. Bobby always shed away from the camera burying his face in Rose's shoulder or leaning in for a kiss. Anyways as time goes by Ray notices Bobby's change in behavior. From being his go-happy-trauma boyf to being caught up in the music scene, often out at all hours to parties and label meetings only to come to to sleep on the couch, not even sharing the bed like he used to. It reminds Ray of the time when Bobby was grieving his boys. Ray hates it, but he loves bobby so he pushes his feelings aside to try and arrange more dates for the three of them to go on together.

(Sev) Ray waking up to only Rose in the bed and not Bobby, and it feels too cold in bed without him. So he'll try to call him, because it's 3am and he's supposed to be home and he's not. And Ray remembers what happened to Bobby's bandmates, and he can't admit it out loud but he's worried. Because what if that happens to Bobby? He knows it was a freak accident! What are the odds of it happening again?? But he can't shake that feeling when Bobby doesn't come home at night and Ray stays up all night worrying. Anyway he tries to call Bobby and Bobby doesn't answer. He'll leave loads of voicemails, trying not to be pushy because he knows Bobby doesn't respond well to that. But he's worried. He'll say "hey please call me when you get this." and then ten minutes later try again "hey just text me that you're safe okay?" He can't sleep because Bobby still isn't home. It's 5am. He has to go to work in two hours. Rose keeps telling him to go to bed but he can't.[2:58 PM]Bobby finally texts back. "I'm okay! Was playing with some friends, the gig went over time and then we went to party." Ray wants to be angry because seriously? No phone calls because he was at a party? But he knows that'll just push Bobby away more!

(Ren) And so Ray has all of these festering emotions that boil down to worry and concern at the core but he's just so scared hes losing Bobby cause he never really had his own family to begin with and then one day when Ray comes home early from a photoshoot he can hear Bobby and Rose fighting over Bobby signing the contract that says he wrote Luke's songs but Ray just hears yelling before he even opens the door with his name thrown into the mix and then he gets even more scared because what if he loses Rose and Bobby? if he lost both of them he'd be destroyed. So he doesnt knock. He doesnt go home. Instead he walks around the city until he was supposed to go home originally and he opens the door and there's a sort of eerie silence in the air.

(Sev) Trevor’s unable to shake the feeling that something terrible will happen to Rose and Ray because he's with them. His entire family were killed in 1 night because he wasn't there with them. So at first he's clingy as fuck to Rose and Ray because what if something bad happens when he's not there? What if what if what if... But as time goes on the thinking flips. Maybe it's the music industry that's the problem. It's these weird connections in his head of if he's too successful, bad things might happen. But he can't quit music like that, he can't give up on Luke's dream. He owes his boys to become successful. So instead he distances himself from Rose and Ray. That way they won't be caught up in whatever bad thing is going to happen to him. He distances himself and he waits for it all to drop. He waits for the universe to punish him again.

(Ren) And the universe punishes Bobby when the tension between him and Rose tightens so much he knows there's no going back from it but he's not admitting to stealing the songs because he didn't. He helped Luke write all of the songs more than Alex and Reggie ever did, staying up late with Luke after fights with his mom and Bobby didn’t want Luke to be alone so yeah, he wrote the songs. Maybe not as much as he claimed but he sure as hell made sure his brother wasn’t alone so that counted for something right? And it did. Until Rose kicks him out of bed because she's pissed he'd even consider stealing music and he cant tell Ray because of the NDA the label got him to sign at a party when he was drunk and the only reason Rose knows about it is because she was there when he signed the damn thing and so Bobby pulls away from Ray because isnt it going to be easier in the long run? If he doesn’t attach himself to Ray who'll just get angry at him like Rose did?

(Sev) It's the guilt that grows inside of him every passing day. They're my songs too he tells himself over and over again. But during the dark nights, three glasses of whisky in when the world is getting hazy... even he can't believe the lies he tells himself. He fucked up Sunset Curve. He fucked up his friends' memories. And now he fucked up the only good thing he'd ever had. Ray texts him nonstop. He doesn't understand why Rose kicked Bobby out and he doesn't understand why Bobby listened. Bobby can't take Ray away from Rose. He's fucked up and a terrible person, but even he can't do that. He doesn't give Ray his new address. He refuses to meet up even for Ray to give him his stuff back. All Bobby can do is hold onto Ray's sweatshirt he stole away and a bottle of perfume the same brand Rose always wears. He cradles these things in his arms and cries.

(Ren) And that's the last he sees of Ray for all of 5 years, 20yr old puppy-dog eyed loving precious ray who Bobby would run to the second Rose says its okay. But rose never does. And then Bobby meets a cute blonde and six months later the barista shows up on his doorstep shoving Carrie into his arms calling her a bastard child. Carrie is not a bastard child Carrie is his and he loves her the second he sets eyes on her and so Bobby turns into Trevor when the new year rolls around and he starts his own album. It doesn’t do as well as Luke's his first album did but it was his. And then one day Trevor signs Carrie up for dance because Trisha from first grade made fun of her for not being able to do the splits and on the way out of the dance studio Trevor bumps into Ray, a terrified looking girl clutched to his leg. Carrie doesn't miss a beat. "Hi! I'm Carrie let's be friends!" and Carrie drags Ray's daughter off and Trevor shifts awkwardly and is suddenly 17 again but Ray's eyes still twinkle like the did when they were kids and he's still wearing eyeliner so Trevor almost missed it when a flicker of recognition crosses Ray’s face and a smile quirks at the corners of his lips and he says, "hi im Ray, thats my daughter Julie. Wanna go out for a drink?" With that same mischievous glint in his eye that made Bobby fall in love with him in the first place.

(Sev) Trevor almost stops breathing. He should say no. He knows he should say no. He's an awful person. He doesn't deserve someone like Ray. He never deserved either of them. He knows that. But can't force himself to say no. Maybe it's the twinkle in Ray's eyes. Maybe it's the soul crushing loneliness he's felt ever since he left them. Or maybe it's the way Carrie and Julie are giggling in the corner like they've known each other all their lives. He says yes. The drink ends up at a family friendly restaurant with both the girls in tow.

(Ren) Rose shows up because Ray the asshole apparently texted her while he was in the car saying he met one of Julie's friend's parents and wanted to go out on a date (keeping things pg ofc) aklsdf. And when Rose does show up Trevor sees how... sick she looks. How much paler she looked than she did all those years ago how - he still knew he loved her even if she still decided she hated him.

(Sev) The mood drops quickly. Trevor wants to ask about Rose, but not in front of the kids. Ray wants to ask about their past, but not in front of the kids. Rose... Rose who holds all the answers... doesn't know where to start first. She had never regretted not telling Ray the truth. She never wanted to change Ray's perception of Bobby like that. Ray who looked at their boyfriend as if he'd hung the moon. Ray who stayed up worrying all night until Bobby came home. Ray who held Bobby through countless nightmares... But that makes the truth staring them in the face so much harder. Because she never gave Ray the choice. She realized that a few years too late after she catches Ray staring at old pictures of Bobby in their photo albums. She'd made the choice for him. And then there's Trevor... still beautiful, staring at her with so much concern her heart breaks all over again.

(Ren) The tension doesn't fly over Carrie's head like he hoped it would, she talks to Julie about My Little Pony and Pokemon and High School Musical and their mutual hatred for Trisha from school but Carrie's hand never lets go of his and he finally plucks up the courage and stretches his arm out and says "we're vegetarian for the most part, hope that's okay." And a smile quirks at the corner of her lips and she asks "for the most part?" and Trevor nods and Carrie pipes up from her seat saying "daddy hates hot dogs,” in that blatant fact kind of way kids say things without realizing how problematic it could be. It wasn’t her fault though, Trevor has yet to tell her about her uncles, about how he was in a band, about how they were going to be legends.

(Sev) Rose and Ray both freeze at Carrie's voice. He doesn't know if the girls notice, because he's too busy trying to fight back the panic in his throat. It's been a long time since anyone had brought up ... what happened. It's easy to pretend it didn't happen when his name is Trevor and no one knows him. But these two people know him. They know him more than anyone else ever has. Even the boys. The truth hits him hard at that moment. A truth he'd been avoiding for almost two decades. Ray and Rose know him better than even he knew himself. Maybe that was why Rose had been so furious with him, or why Ray continued to chase after him even months after he moved out. Trevor hides the building panic and sudden realization with a smile. "What an I say," he said as causally as he can. "I'm a picky eater." A few hours later they end up back at the Molina's house. Bobby has no idea how it happened. -No, Trevor has no idea how it happened, he scolds himself. He's Trevor. He has to be Trevor. Trevor got him this far, Trevor made the difficult choices. Bobby was the one who got his friends kill and destroyed the best relationship he ever had. Still, it becomes harder and harder to remind himself of that. To stop himself from slipping into the comfortable shoes of Bobby, boyfriend of Ray and Rose as if the past 17 years had never happened. He finds himself on their sofa, a sofa that brings back memories both good and bad... he finds himself in a familiar home, his old studio just a short walk away, his ex's giggling in the kitchen as they make his coffee the way he's always liked it without asking for a reminder.

(Ren) Trevor can remember the day he stopped drinking the coffee Ray made for him, the morning after his first fight with Rose, when he wakes up cold because Rose basically cocooned herself around Ray's body, keeping her back turned to him and as much as he wanted to reach out to Ray, to hug him and comfort him and tell him it was all going to be okay... everything was too stuffy and too tense and deciding he just had to leave because he was going to suffocate otherwise.

(Sev) He should leave, just like last time. What was he even doing here? He should take Carrie and- Then Ray's in front of him, pushing a hot cup into is hands. "The girls are playing upstairs," he says. His voice is so calm, so understanding. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to." Trevor almost laughs. Because that's so like Ray. Almost a decade without answers and he's giving Trevor the option to ignore it all. To pretend like nothing ever happened. But he can't be that selfish again. So he shakes his head. "I'd... like to talk to you... to both of you."

(Ren) And then suddenly rose is eyeing him sus but he's been putting this off for to long and honestly fuck his label because they screwed him over one too many times for him to still even consider their relationship anything other than employee-client1[4:06 PM]and so Trevor takes a sip of Ray's coffee holy shit how did go so long without it?! and he explains it. he explains everything.

(Sev) Ray doesn't speak as Trevor explains. He never interrupts or even look surprised. His face is completely unreadable. He doesn't move until Trevor's done. And then once he is, he only stands up to start pacing the room. Trevor's oddly reminded of Alex as he does so, and the memory is enough to make him flinch. "This... this is what you two have been hiding from me for so long?" he asked, voice brittle. "This is... this is what cost us... I mean..." But he can't finish. Ray just shakes his head, back to both Rose and Trevor.

(Ren) Suddenly he's seventeen again. Seventeen and a mess in Ray's arms burying his face into the man's chest finally feeling the weight of the world lift off of his shoulders and suddenly Rose is hugging him from behind, her too-skiny bone arms snaking around his chest and hugging him tightly threatening to never let him go saying "amour," and pressing a kiss to the back of his head, "amour we never stopped loving you."

(Sev)It's like no time has passed by the time he's done crying his eyes out. They're all huddled on a sofa that was always too small for three. Trevor's in the middle, clutching at them both as if they're going to disappear on him. Ray sits with his legs underneath them, his arms pulling the both of them into his chest. And then there's Rose, suddenly so much more delicate than Trevor remembers. She sits half on his lap, curled into them, her fingers knotted in his hair. "I can't believe you two kept this from me," Ray whispers. There's no anger. He doesn't think Ray's ever been capable of being angry. "I'm sorry," Trevor whispers, throat raw from tears. Ray answers with a firm kiss to his temple. "We wasted so much time..."

(Ren) Trevor just lays between them in their bed, nothing sexual and nothing tense it’s just them being together and Rose playing with his now-long hair, braiding it right down the middle despite it being too long for others to braid. Her fingers feel nice as they tug at his roots, familiar and a sense of calm washes over him. He lets ray fop on top of him like they used to, burying his head in his chest just listening to his heart beat, his steady constant breathing because Ray used to be afraid one day he'd wake up and Bobby would be dead too. Rose humming lightly, soft lullabies that chased away dark thoughts and Trevor just finds it so comforting, a feeling of home he hasn't had since the day he left and so he wraps his arms around Rose and Ray tight, promising himself he won't screw up his second time around.

(Sev) It's a few hours later when he speaks again. The girls are asleep in Julie's room (delighted at their surprise sleepover.) Ray's almost nodded off, head resting against Trevor's chest. But Rose is wide awake. She's laid out, tangled between them, eyes focused on something far away. He can see it more clearly now. The tremble in her hands, the way she's so still, the circles around her eyes. He takes her hand in his. "What is it?"

(Ren) And Trevor wants it to be a prank, he wants the sinking feeling in his gut twisting around his heart, the same feeling he had the morning of Sunset Curve's Orpheum performance coiling up his spine to go away. He wants everything to be okay, that he told the truth, that he was forgiven, that the universe was finally on his side for once but of course it's not because when has it ever been. Rose's fingers run lightly over his knuckles and Ray wraps his arm around him from behind, his hands resting against Trevor's chest, something solid for him to focus on and as a tear starts to roll down Rose's cheek he reaches up to brush it away, running his hand through her hair only to pull out a clump as he pulled away but he couldn't run when his instincts to run kick in like they always used to do when situations turned emotional, bury it in his mind and lock up his worries like he always did but this wasn't going to be something he could run from.

(Sev) Life is not the fantasy or a fairy tale. There are no happy endings, only happy moments. He'd like to say they picked up right where they left off, Rose lived until a ripe old age, and they never fought again. But he'd be lying. It was hard to fold their lives back into place again, especially with Carrie and Julie. To just pick up after their seventeen year old selves was an impossible dream. But they could do breakfast. And breakfast became dinner. Dinner became one date which became two which became many. It took trouble and care, but they slotted themselves back into each other's lives again. There were lunch dates, and movie nights. There were late night wine dates and early morning coffee dates. They found their happy moments. A decade of separation had smoothed out the rough edges. If Trevor stormed out after a harsh argument, he'd return the next day with flowers and apologies. If Rose snapped and lost her temper, she'd take herself off for a walk to cool down. If Ray was bothered by something, he'd speak up instead of pushing it all down. They found their happy moments. And when 1 month became 1 year, they celebrated with moving boxes and a new, bigger couch. When 1 year became 2, they celebrated with promise rings and whispers of a better future between light kisses. 3 years became 4, became 5, and so on... They found their happy moments. But life is not a fantasy or a fairy tale. Their story ends in a hospital. Rose dies with both her husbands at her side, with both her daughters and son clutching on her hands. She dies with a smile on her face, knowing she is not leaving them to suffer alone. Ray and Trevor grieve together.

(Ren) And this time the girls are the ones who get into the fight but Trevor and Ray are there for Julie and Carrie no matter what they're fighting over carrie told julie she liked flynn but julie said flynn was hers first and doesnt understand how she can feel squishy love for two people. And this time the girls are the ones who get into the fight but Trevor and Ray are there for Julie and Carrie no matter what they're fighting over carrie told julie she liked flynn but julie said flynn was hers first and doesnt understand how she can feel squishy love for two people. They stick to their daughters through the worst of it but they don’t let the girl’s fighting rip into them too. It’s not what Rose would’ve wanted for them, it’s not what she would’ve wanted for Julie or Carrie either.

(Sev) And when Julie plays with her ghost band, it's much earlier that Trevor recognizes who she's playing with.

(Ren) Luke’s mad at first, ofc he is but after everything is explained and out in the open Trevor finds himself at home in a building that never felt like home despite the fact he grew up in it.

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onthepageoftears · 4 years

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Hold Them Closer ~ Ch.12 [Jaskier x assassin!reader] || Witcher

A/N: okay I lied about there being two chapters left, now after this one there are ACTUALLY two chapters left lol (well, one and an epilogue). it's seriously going to be so weird not writing this y/n x jaskier story ahhhh okay im just not gonna think about it lol enjoy!

Your kind words and reviews mean a lot to me, so please don’t afraid to leave a message/comment!

Summary: Reverting to your old ways never brings peace.

Warnings: language? angst, self deprecation, conflicted reader, lots of gore, violence, mentions of death/killing/blood, again lots of gore so read at your own risk!

Words: 2,713 (longer chapter you’re welcome hehe)

Please Don’t Plagiarize My Work!

Your heart was stuck in your throat as your mother pulled away from Theo. Her daughter. Your mother’s daughter. Her other child.

“Oh, thank the gods.” She said, patting down Theo’s hair where she had just kissed it. Your stomach dropped — that used to be you. The child in your mother’s grasp used to be you. Now, it was Theo. Your…sister?

“Sorry, Mom.” Theo’s voice was sheepish, strained. It wasn’t like you had ever heard her — not the usual condescending or sarcastic tone she carried. But you supposed everyone acted differently around their mothers.

Theo’s mother — your mother — clicked her tongue. “If you ever do that again…"

The first words you spoke weren’t the ones you expected. “Theo did well. She’s a fighter.”

Your mother’s eyes cast over you, absent of any flicker of recognition. “That’s what I’m worried about.” She smiled at you, but in a polite way. Your stomach churned as she reached into the front of her apron. “Well, here. Your reward.”

She stepped toward you, her relief-filled smile not the one you were hoping for. You stared at her for a moment too long, making her frown. After clearing your throat, you shook your head.

“We can’t take that,” you said, almost surprising yourself.

Your mother frowned, pushing the pouch out again. “You must. You helped my daughter. I can’t let that go unrewarded.”

You blinked, taking a sharp breath in. Part of you felt distant from the conversation as if you were watching it from the outside, like a memory, or a dream — or a nightmare.

Again, you cleared your throat, trying with every muscle in your body to keep your composure. “Your daughter didn’t need any of our help, ma’am. Like I said, she’s a fighter.”

Your mother tilted her head, a pleased smile finding its way on her face before she nodded, “I appreciate that.” She looked at you a second longer before turning around, shoving the pouch back in her apron as she made her way behind the counter. It was then that you noticed this wasn’t any shop — it was a bakery. As your stomach churned once more, your mother spoke, “Here. At least take some food with you. I can only imagine how hungry you must be.”

This time, you let Geralt step forward, his eyes casting over you for a moment before taking the loaf of bread from your mother’s hands. Jaskier thanked her gently, nodding to her and Theo and taking your arm in his hand. You kept your eyes locked on her, only moving them when Jaskier led you out the door.

As soon as the fresh air hit your face, you felt like maybe you could finally breathe. That feeling wasn’t enough; you blinked at the brightness around you, taking very shallow breaths as Jaskier led you further away from your mother’s shop.

Geralt walked ahead, grunting about meeting you and Jaskier at the inn. His eyes stopped on you before leaving, but you were too focused on the harshness of your breaths.

Jaskier stopped in front of you, his eyes flitting over your face. “Are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a wraith.” You flicked your eyes to him, and as if he were a mind reader, his jaw dropped. “No— that’s not—“

You cut him off, casting your eyes on the ground, “My mother. Yes. That’s her.”

Jaskier stuttered, his head shaking in confusion, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Julian—“ You looked at him, your eyes full of regret. “I can’t.”

“What? Why not?”

“I can’t…I just can’t. I can’t face her, I can’t—“

“Alright, hey — hey, it’s okay.” You let him engulf you in his arms, his comforting scent filling the space around you.

“She has another kid,” you mumbled into his chest, eyes still open despite their sudden heaviness.

Jaskier sighed, his chin resting on your head. “She does.”

—

“How do you feel today?”

You turned your head from the window, letting your eyes rest on Jaskier. He must’ve been standing there for a while without you noticing, as he was now leaning against one of the chairs in your shared room.

In response to his question, you shrugged.

It had been nearly two days since you came back with Theo — two days since you found your mother. In two days, you could have caught up with her, cried with her, told her the countless stories you had under your belt. Instead, you were cooped up in your room at the local inn, barely saying a word to anyone. You were thinking, quite a lot, about how you were going to build up the courage to reveal your identity.

Jaskier sighed, looking to the quarter loaf of bread left idle on the table. “You haven’t eaten?”

You turned back to the window, silently shaking your head. You didn’t even have to answer him — your mother baked that bread, and one taste would have you…well, you didn’t know what you would do. You didn’t want to find out.

“Love,” Jaskier said, his voice gentle as he walked up behind you, placing a hand on your waist. “You have to talk to her. We won’t leave here until you do.”

You frowned, eyes still focusing on nothing in particular.

Jaskier continued, “I can go with you. We can talk to her together if you want.” At your silence, he kissed your shoulder, “I’ll be around. Let me know if you need me.”

You didn’t watch as he left.

—

It was the early afternoon when you found yourself standing in front of your mother’s shop. Eyes trained on the shop door, you frowned. You had just gone out for a walk to try and clear your head from its constant whirring, but you ended up here. It wasn’t exactly a helpful place to stop — in fact, it was the exact opposite. Maybe your brain was trying to subconsciously force you to talk with your mother, to just get it over with. And maybe you should have.

Standing in front of the shop doors, you thought of what was happening inside. Your mother — her hair now greyed but still just as luscious as you remembered it — setting up the pastries of the day, finally owning the shop she had always dreamed about. Her favorite recipes now perfected, welcoming regulars into the shop doors every day. Someone helps her man the counter on especially busy days, sometimes even helping her bake — except, that person, that child helping your mother — it’s not you. It’s Theo. Theo is the one with your mother. Theo is the one who has been with your mother for the past sixteen or so years.

You feel yourself step back from the shop, a frown forming on your face. While your mother and her daughter have been living in Velen, working in their small shop — you were a trained killer. You killed countless innocent people, sliced dozens of throats, stabbed even more hearts. The blood on your hands, the guilt on your back…how could you ever think your mother would want to know you again? You weren’t the child she left behind. You were no different than Rauf, no different than those endregas you slashed through the other day.

You were a cold-blooded killer. An assassin. A monster.

Your breath was shaky as you walked backward away from the shop. You didn’t belong here, or anywhere of the sort. You belonged in a battle, in the way of a dozen blades. You were meant to kill — built to kill — so that was what you would do.

Your feet stomped their way over to the nearest notice board. No thoughts echoed in your mind as you searched the loose parchments, eyes searching for anything to get your hands dirty. They landed on big letters — BANDITS. You skimmed the page, the location being the only thing you needed. Without thinking, you unsheathed one of the knives from your boot and stabbed it into the notice board, on the very job you were about to fulfill. You would get your knife back when you were done, and only then. You didn’t even care for the money — you just wanted to do what you were meant to do.

Kill.

—

The ride to the bandit’s hideout was nothing for you and Buttercup. You practically hopped off her back, barely stopping long enough to tie her to a nearby tree. Without an ounce of hesitation, you slid your sword from its sheath and made your way down the narrow pathway and into the depths of the forest.

It was just barely getting dark, the sunset casting a warm glow over the horizon. You thought of Jaskier for a moment, but just a moment, as you shook the thought away immediately. He was another person who you didn’t deserve, not after all you’ve done. It didn’t matter if you loved him, or if he loved you — love wasn’t enough. It never was.

You didn’t even bother sneaking down the pathway — leaves crunched under your feet, your sword held tightly in your hands. The sound of laughter echoed in the forest just as you caught sight of smoke from a fire. You grit your teeth, eyes narrowing as you walked faster towards the sound of the bandits.

They had no clue what was about to happen to them, and that made you shiver.

As you neared the small camp, you counted the heads you could see: five. Your shoulders nearly dropped from disappointment. You wanted a real challenge.

Better than nothing, you thought as you rolled your neck in a circle, stretching your muscles casually as one of the bandits finally noticed you.

“Hey! Who the fuck are you?”

You smiled as the bandits stood from their tree stumps, grabbing their weapons and immediately pointing them towards you.

Swinging your sword in your hand, you looked one of them in the eyes, “I’m your worst fucking nightmare.”

Without waiting for a response, you let out a battle cry, charging the nearest bandit with your sword held high. He blocked your sword with his mace, pushing it so you stumbled backward. One of the other bandits jumped towards you in your state, slicing into the side of your stomach. You grit your teeth, glaring at the man who just cut you.

“You’ll regret that,” you said, and immediately lunged your sword into his leg. He screamed as you removed your sword; you quickly brought it up again and sliced it into his stomach this time. He fell to the ground, his screams fueling your adrenaline as you looked up at the rest of the bandits. They seemed to be in shock for a moment before their wide-open mouths became gritted in anger.

“Get the fucker!” One yelled, making three of the others rush towards you. You immediately dropped down, causing all of them to tumble over your body. While they were on the ground, you unsheathed a knife, throwing it towards the bandit on the opposite side of the fire. The knife lodged right into his throat, blood immediately squirting out from the wound.

By then, the other three bandits had gotten up, one of them slamming you in the back with a bludgeon. You yelled out, hands catching your body on the ground beneath you. You felt another blow, this time knocking the breath out of you and forcing your face down into the dirt.

“I’m gonna enjoy this one,” one of them sneered as he dragged his bludgeon on the ground. You cursed, just now realizing your sword was no longer in your hand. “Looking for this?” The sneering bandit asked, holding your sword up tauntingly.

You looked up, bringing your own face into a sneer. Within a second, you unsheathed another knife and reached up to stab the bandit in the gut: once, twice, three times before one of the others grabbed the back of your collar and threw you in the opposite direction.

You coughed after you hit the ground, trying to use one of your arms to lift yourself up. Before you could, the bandit with the mace kicked you in the stomach — hard. You blinked through the pain, a satisfied smile filling your features at the sight of the sneering bandit writhing in pain on the ground.

“You think this is funny?” The mace bandit kicked you again in the stomach, then placed his foot on your wrist. You yelled in pain as he reached down and took your knife, throwing it into the growing darkness. “What are you gonna do now, huh?”

For a moment, you just blinked. In hindsight, you were pretty much screwed. Only one knife left, your sword a few feet away. But instead of panicking, you laughed.

“What the fuck are you laughing at?” The other live bandit said, who was now standing up from the dead sneering bandit’s body.

“This.” You spoke, before clamping your teeth down on the mace bandit’s ankle.

He screamed out, immediately trying to slam your side with his mace. Before he could, you rolled out of the way, sitting up just as his mace made contact with the ground. In one swift movement, you grabbed his wrist and kicked it with as much force as you could. The mace fell to the ground as he cradled his now broken wrist, giving you the perfect opportunity to pick it up and slam it into the side of his head.

You didn’t bother trying to take the mace out of the bandit’s head — instead, you stood up slowly, keeping eye contact with the last bandit. He shook in his spot, holding his small sword towards you, gulping as you walked over to him. His eyes widened as you grabbed his wrist, sliding the sword from his grasp. For a second, the fear in his eyes made you stop. But then, you shook the feeling in the pit of your stomach away, throwing his sword to the side and bringing your knee up straight into his groin. He fell to his knees in front of you, a groan escaping his lips. As he struggled in his spot, you stepped behind him, giving him a moment to catch his breath. Then, after a second of contemplation, you unsheathed the last knife from your boot and grabbed the last bandit’s chin, lifting it up so you could slide your knife across his neck.

His choked breaths echoed in the growing darkness, the sound making you wince. For the first time in a while, you thought of your old friend.

The memories flooded you like the blood that spilled from the bandit’s throat — for a moment, instead of a nasty bandit, you saw Joneta. You saw her confused eyes after you slit her throat, the blood coating your hands as you tried to seal the wound.

“I told you to stop.” You said, falling to your knees, eyes brimming with tears as you relived the memory. Joneta looked back at you, her eyes glazing over just as they had not long ago.

As you blinked through the tears, Joneta's face turned back into that of the bandit. You slumped the bandit’s body to the side, a sob escaping your throat. Your hands were covered in blood, as they were that day — as they were so many other days, from so many other people. You hadn’t just killed a dear friend, you hadn’t just killed the only family you really knew — you killed so many people. So many innocents. How many more? How many more were you going to kill? How could you ever be the person you wanted to be — how could you be with Jaskier, a charismatic, friendly bard? How could you be with someone not as evil as you? As monstrous as you?

Your eyes welled with tears as you stared down at the blood coating your skin, your mouth wide open as you tried to breathe. Instead, loud sobs escaped your throat, seemingly echoing in the darkness falling over you.

You couldn’t move. You couldn’t breathe. So you sat there, in the middle of the bandit’s camp, their bodies littered around you to remind you of all the death you were the cause of.

———————————————————————————————————

:(((( let me know your thoughts!

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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 5 years

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Life After Snowpiercer: End of the Line

Summery- Matts Alive! Curtis is given a choice, learns the truth about the kids, You are attacked, and also still alive! Some non con implied, but all mild.

Word Count- 5806

Chapter 4 / Masterlist

Curtis just shook his head in disbelief at the man before him, certainly grown up from the eleven year old boy he knew, but somethings never change. His eyes, Your eyes looking back at him, but they held a bit of coldness in them that yours didnt. “H-ow? What is going on. They TOOK you Matt.”Although Curtis always assured you to hold out hope Matt was alive, he knew the likelihood was not good, but he could have hope to keep you from feeling hopeless. Then after you had healed, accepted that it was a possibility, you still had the nightmares, crying in the dark for your brother, Curtis waking to your sobs and cradling you in close to protect you... of course he couldnt let you suffer like that. But here Matt was, alive.

“Yea, Wilford saved me Curtis from a life of shit. You all did this to yourselves back there. Always plotting and scheming to take control of what isnt fucken yours.” Matt looked his nose down at Curtis, glancing away at Claude and smiling fondly at her. “She knew that I wasnt like that, did you sweetheart?” He caressed the womans face and leaned down to peck her lips. “Nams still alive out there, can you watch over him and his daughter till were finished in here.” She complied with a soft nod, leaving the three men alone.

Wilford cleared his throat. “Oh trust me Curtis, Matt took a while to understand what the truth was. But he came around, didnt you son?” Smiling almost loving at Matt. “He understands what the train needs from him, and Im an old man now, I wont be here forever. You and Matt working together, well this train is my legacy and will continue on forever. With some help of course.” He moved to open a cupboard and Timmy crawled out, Curtis eyes widening at this next shock. Timmy to was alive! The boy just ignored Curtis though and proceeded to go up the stairs, and enter in a car.

“Timmy? What are you doing, get back here?!” Curtis called to the boy, but he merely buckled himself in and whoosh, he was gone. Curtis turned to look at Wilford and Matt “Where the fuck did he go?!”

“Into the engine of course, it builds up crud, and kids like Timmy, they clear it out, also run some of the gears that need help. Reason we need all those kids from the tail end is although the train is self sustaining, the parts wear out. Many have gone extinct, and we have no way to replace them anymore. We ran out of metal for workers to mold. So we need someone who can fit into tight spaces. Gotta be about 4 or 5, you tail enders are always so scrawny. When they outsize, we replace them.”

Jesus fucking christ... how many kids have they taken over the years? At least over 2 dozen. Oh Curtis.... He could hear your sorrow now, it broke your voice, picture the tears streaming down your face as you mourned for all those babies you all lost in the tale end. Curtis growled out “What happens once they age out?”

Matt rolled his shoulders nonchalant like “Well if someone here wants one, they can just take them as there own, or if no one else can use them in there service, we execute them. Originally we were just gonna bring them back, but hell over crowding has started becoming an issue. You all really need to learn more creative fucking methods. What was the term you used the other day Wilford? ‘Like a bunch of god damn rabbits back there?” He chuckled at his attempt of wit.

What the fuck did they do to you Matt?!

They have no idea, thought Curtis, all the people they broke taking the children. The parents weve found that died because it broke there heart, shattered there will to live. How many women in the tail end lived in FEAR, not at the dangers of child birth, but that they might lose there children and can not stop it. How many times you confessed to him that you just couldnt get pregnant, it was just to dangerous to bring a life into all this, although he knew that you want nothing more then to be a mom one day. They had no idea they caused all that pain.

Curtis, they fully know. They just dont care. Your voice flat, the truth.

Wilford shook his head, chuckling “Now now, we need them more now then ever. As I said before, the front end and tail end work together. We provide them with shelter, food and safety, they provide us with necessary replacement train parts and the occasional entertainment of cleaning up the excess baggage the train carries. Already were running smoother then before thanks to The Great Curtis Revolution.” That fucker is was still trying to make that a thing, Curtis could already see you rolling your eyes.

Matt cheerfully turned back towards Curtis. “And I heard that Y/N will be coming up to the front, since you two seem to be an item now. I say Curtis you will have more options now then just her if you want. Im sure after all this time your getting bored of her. Although I cant say Im surprised about you two, she always followed you since she met you like a little whimpering puppy. How is she anyways? I haven't thought about her in a while till Wilford brought you up. I suspect shes well.”

Curtis brows came together in anger at the mans words, at everything. That was his sister and he talked about her as if she was just a item Curtis happened to have possession of. “You havent thought about her? Your fucken kidding right? That woman constantly thinks about you, every damn day. Everything she does for others in the tail end is in your memory Matt. Even after all these years she has nightmares about how she couldnt save you, She thinks you will hate her because she cant get to you. And you havent thought about her this whole time?!” Curtis started laughing, shaking his head at all of it. Anger just making him snap at this point. “I cant believe im having this conversation with you of all people Matt. Fuck my life, they brainwashed you man. Everything about this.” Curtis waved his hand around and looked back at Matt, the laughter having died, now it was just cold facts he was raging out. “All this, its maybe more messed up then us starving and eating people, we were just trying to survive. You all think your some kind of gods for supposedly saving us and were a fucking game, you cant see why its so fucked up though, can you?!.”

Matt looked appalled over the outburst and Wilford spoke up “God Curtis your so over dramatic, cant you loosen up? Your acting like the fate of the world rests on you. Trust me, you have no control over that, and sounds like a good thing. I doubt you could handle that pressure. Look at you, so tightly wound.” Wilford made a motion like he had gone stiff, shaking.

Matt snorted in anger at the situation. “You act like you all werent happy for me, that it was my fault I earned my place by Wilfords side.” he basically spat out this next line. “That I should even care about what happened to either of you. That I deserved to be in that same shit hole as you? Wilford you really cant be serious about having Curtis be our Minister. He still lives in the old world view, has yet to embrace new world values. We are FUCKING GODS Curtis, make no mistake. Our word is the law on this train. People like my sister, all this for the people bullshit yall preached back there all the time, have no real place here. You both will get it soon enough.”

This was the final straw, Curtis couldnt, he just couldnt deal with the vile they were spewing, the lives they themselves sacrificed to try to kill him, and it was all a game to them, let alone the friends Curtis dragged into danger to get him here. With a twist, he tackled Wilford first, he had a pistol in his robes, it made sense. His right hand reared back and he caught the man unaware. When Curtis fist impacted, Wilfords head snapped back with a gush of blood exploding from his mouth and nose, those iced blue eyes rolled back and yes, it was that easy to just knock his senses askew.

Matt on the other hand had the upper hand, and he tried locking Curtis arms to his side, but a quick whip with his head backwards cracked against Mats face, and he howled out in anger and pain, releasing his hold against Curtis and cupping his face. “Your Fucker! You son of a bitch, I will kill you!” he screamed out. Clearly Matt forgot anything he learned in the tail end, cause he didnt even prepare for Curtis kick of his heavy treaded boots, hitting squarely in the chest and threw him back into the kitchenette.

Reaching wildly, Matt was able to grasp hold of a butcher knife from a black, slashing it so completely out of sync, that as Curtis ascended on him, he ducked backwards quickly when it wildly arched to him and his hand grabbed Mats wrist, twisting and crushing it in his single hand as he drew in close to the man, his hand grabbing his other hand to keep him from hitting him. “I would like to see you try, I came up here expecting alot more then over privileged cum stains like yourselves. Your finished.” He twisted Matts wrist further till he heard a snap, the knife clashing to the metal floor. Matt howled, not one of those cries out of pain, no this was a howl that almost sounded animalistic, he wrung his hand out of Curtis grasp and cradled it to his chest. Wasting no more time, Curtis ended up bashing his head into the overhead cupboards till he felt him go limp, releasing him to the floor. “Y/N, your brothers a fucking dick...” he muttered to himself.

One last issue to really take care of, Claude, she was out there guarding Yona and Nam. He heard her voice from outside of the gate, and going up behind it, he waited till he could see her yellow arm stretch beyond the gate, gun pointing inwards “Mat? answer me hon” and at that moment, Curtis pushed the door as hard as possible, crushing her into the door frame. She yelped out in pain and Curtis reached around to fist his hand in her hair and drag her into the room, kicking at her hand until it knocked the gun out. “Yona get in here now.” Claude hissed as she twisted and turned to get loose from Curtis and he gave her a vigorous shake to stun her, her hands trying to tug his loose from her scalp. “Your dead buddy, wait till Matt finds out you even touched me with your filthy paws.”

“I dont think hes doing much for a while sweetheart” Curtis promised her when Yona appeared in the room, wrinkling her nose at the scene before her. “We thought they would have killed you Curtis” She said softly while Nam followed along behind, sluggish. His face was pale and the rag he had pressed in his chest was soaked, still dripping big heavy drops of blood, gravity making a steady drip drip drip echo softly in this metal dungeon. “Not yet, they had other ideas apparently. Yona, can you sense where Timmy is? He went into the engine and we got to pull him out.” She had displayed hints of Clairvoyance throughout there journey, and she nodded, turning away to start searching. Claude chose this moment to start up again, smacking Curtis right in his gut and groin causing him to cuss out and tighten his grip in her hair to keep from releasing her.

“Fucken bitch” he hissed and having had enough of her, he knocked her upside the head, her screaming the whole time till she to went silent as her partners, she to was simply dropped to the floor with a thump. Still trying to catch his air once again, the ache going dull easy to ignore. Dont underestimate them Curtis a familiar whispered voice came to him, taking quick glances at the other two. He went to check Wilford, collecting his pistol still in his robe, and hobbled over to where Claude lost hers near the door. Handing one off to Nam, he spoke softly to him, to keep Yona from breaking concentration. “Are you okay?”

“Yea im fine.” The man grunted in his language, loosely translated by the box hanging off his neck. Just then he coughed and spat a wad of blood. It was clear he wasnt fine, just from the way he was wheezing, Curtis guessed at this point his lungs were filling with fluid. He had heard it before with others in the tail end. No one here was trained to drain it either, sure now that anyone who could was probably dead. He gave Nam a knowing look and the man cast a downwards glance. “Dont tell Yona, not yet.”

It was then Yona sprawled to the floor, clawing to pry up a tile “Curtis, hes here! Hes right under the tile.” her fingers scrambled against the smooth tile, and Curtis grabbed the abandoned butcher knife, wedging the tip into a crack, pushing till it popped open. What they opened was unlike anything Curtis had seen before. The small boy was squatting among the gears, digging his hands into chunks of oily gunk and digging it out, flinching every now and then when a piece of metal gear would cut shallowly into him, his arms were covered in bloody shallow knicks. Robotic like motions, he plunged his hand into the gunk and scooped out a handful. “Timmy! Timmy look up!” The little boy looked up, but it wasnt like he was seeing Curtis, more like through him. Curtis whats wrong with him? “Timmy you gotta get out of there, can you go back out?” I dont know Baby, I dont know what they done to him.

The boy just ignored him, his sightless gaze going back to the task at hand, and it was then Wilford made his presence known with a heavy groan, pushing himself up to a sit, swiping at his face. “Maybe I made a mistake with you Curtis... “ His gaze bleary as he sought out Curtis and Yona kneeling over the hole. “You just dont get what were doing here, cant see the bigger picture.” He moved to get up and Nam came between them, wheezing worst then before but ready to defend them. They were running out of time and Curtis knew it. A glance at his hand was the resolve he needed. I mean, it was the sacrifice he originally was going to make in a sense anyways. And into the gears his arm shot, stopping everything in its tracks, almost immediantly the gears all locked up, the train shuddered and wobbled unsteady.

Nam was blocking Wilford from ascending, but was struggling, surprise the gun had no fucking bullets in it, Yona reached in the gaps and stretched to reach for Timmy, who still seemed oblivious to what was going on above them. “Please Timmy, take my hand.” She turned her head to the side and stretched further, facing Matt whom now was starting to groan as well, Yona started to panic “Curtis, fuck hes waking up!” Panting through the pain of his arm getting crushed in the gears, he glanced to see Matt roll to his back, covering his face with a series of curses. Curtis, get my baby out of there, please! This time it was Tonyas voice yelling at him to save her child. Pushing Yona back with his free hand, he shot it into the one slot Timmy might fit through and grasped the boys skinny arm, hauling him up and pushing him to Yona who wrapped him up in her arms and started to pull back.

Matts foot connected squarely with Cutis jaw, wrenching his arm out of the gears, half skinning it in the process, his whole body flinging backwards. The enraged man landed on Curtis, trying to choke him out with his single hand, his broke wrist still cradling against his chest. Even with both short the use of an arm, Curtis was able to overpower him, pushing him to sprawl backwards. In there scuffle, the gun Curtis had tucked away in his jacket fell out and in both of there lunge to retrieve it, they scuffled it across the floor to land in the open hole. Matts eyes widened a bit “Oh shit!” It took a second for Curtis to understand what the issue was, yes that gun was loaded and it was currently twisting into the gears, making the entire train shudder, then a ping ping ping!

The pressure had set off the bullets in the weapon, and all around them steam shot out of the pipes. Everyone stopped what they were doing, looking around with fear at the reaction, and there was another mighty shudder. “Its gonna go off the tracks, good job fuckers!” Wilford hissed out in a panicked rage. Another shudder and the nose of the train must have hit something, an ice block on the tracks Baby your voice sounding scared in his confused mind, cause it jerked upwards, loosing traction on the track, without the wheels working in tandem to keep the forward momentum. It scrambled everyone, slamming them to the left side, Curtis skidded on his backside, crashing into Matt, who slammed into the kitchenette cabinets. The kids they went flying backwards towards the half opened gate, falling into the car just behind, Wilford and Nam entangled together smashed into the bolted down kitchen table. Claude, she screamed in fear at just waking up to everyone being whipped around spinning backwards across the floor. The engine started to tip to its side. The side of the Engine suddenly was ripped away with a screech of metal and sparks, having hit cliff side rocks. Wilford and Nam got sucked out of the giant hole, and thats when Curtis went black, something falling and smashing him in the skull.

During this time, in the tail end, James was dragging you back down the aisle, your body bouncing against random bunks and junk scattered around from where they had torn everything apart. Finally he tossed you to sprawl on the ground and fell on your stomach, bouncing enough to knock the air out of you. “I thought we already talked about this hunny, just be a good girl and spread them. Not that I dont like it when you all fight a bit.” Thinking he had subdued you, he pulled back to hike up your coat and shirts to what he claimed as his prize. .

Taking a chance you twist and shoot a foot out to hit him in his chest to topple backwards and start to crawl away, but a large hand encircled your ankle and jerk you to fall on your belly with a omph! Panicked, your hands shoot out under a bunk to see if theres anything to hold onto. Your hand closes around a small shard, fitting in the palm. You snatch it as he keeps dragging you back, flipping you to your back with a smirk.

Calm down Y/N, wait for the right opportunity. Of course it was Curtis calm voice, the one he used when he was bringing you back from a panic attack. You take a deep breath, and change tactics on James, stopping trying to fight, you hold up a hand in surrender. “Please, I give! What do you want?” James hand fisted in your mess of hair, tipping your head back till your throat was exposed. Dragging his tongue over you, you fight back a wave of bile burning your throat at the feeling of the man all over you. “well what do you think sweetheart, I want your sweet pussy gripping the best dick you ever had and begging for more.” God how the fuck do you not gag at that. Concentrate Baby. Praise how good he is. you shudder in the mans grip as he starts to palm a bruised breast, twisting it painfully like before. Do I really have to Curtis?

Trust me Babygirl

“You made me feel so damn good last time, and I was so ungrateful.” trying to make your voice husky with false lust and looking up at him wide eyed. Reaching up you cup James face and bite your lip, giving it your all. “But how about this time you let me make you feel good? A thank you.” Leaning up your brush your lips against his, really putting your all into drawing him into the kiss. Fucker fell for it, and he got caught up in what you were doing with your tongue, where your hands were running all over him, palming his crotch through his pants. “Biggest ive ever had” Cant believe Im saying this. God I hate you bastards. You were fighting everything in you to not start crying in disgust. Finally when he was panting against your lips, you push him hard enough to make him roll, his hands grasping your hips to have you follow, and now.... now you fucking dick head, I have you right where I want you, you think triumphant when you straddle his stomach.

That you do baby, you know what to do next. Curtis hissed in your mind. Dont hesitate, hard and quick.

Arching up, you smile so sweetly at James looking up at you hazily. “God I knew you were a good fuck, but this is even better then I thought it could be.Tell me im the best, better then whatever his name was.” Tracing his chest, and winking at him to respond. “Oh baby, Curtis was nothing like you.” And with a quick twist of your wrist, you shove that shard of metal in his eye, pressing down hard and quick with your palm as you could. You literally felt it pop, and the warmth of blood shoot against your palm. “Hes every fucking thing a man should be!” Smashing your hand against the next vulnerable part of him, his nose, he bucks in pain underneath you, shooting you off. Tumbling, you scramble up and start running towards the back as James is screeching, dodging the unsuspecting hands of other guards reaching out of the bunks they were laying in, some of them following James choices and there captives started to fight back in the confusion you caused. “GET THAT WHORE!” James screeching, his hand covering his eye as he struggled up, red gore oozing between his fingers.

You were looking for anyplace to hide when thrown off your feet violently.

It wasnt another person, the train started rattling on its tracks and screeching, fishtailing back and forth. One violent turn and you were flung into the bars of a bunk, screaming out as pain blossomed white hot through your spine, tumbling now. Bottom was above you, crashing onto what should have been the roof of the train, items pelting you, bouncing off and crushing you. Your cries of shock and pain turning ragged when it all rolled once more, going right side up, the kids and other survivors going through a similar experience, whipping around and around as it kept rolling and bouncing. The back end of the train had gone off the side of a cliff and falling into a valley under the tracks. everyone whipped around and around, till it crashed to a stand still.

Groaning you push up under a bunch of random debris, and try to focus. Leaning over and puking from the dizziness, you push away from the mess and look around at other passengers and guards pushing themselves out of the mess, somewhere bright light was streaming in. Fuck fuck fuck fuck, you have to figure out how to get one of there guns before they take control again. Pushing up, you stumble around people, some of them eerily still, twisted bodies and blank stares. Not all survived. Relief flooded you as you saw more and more kids scrambling to your side. “Quick, find anything we can use as a weapon.” urging them with a hushed voice, they scattered to fulfill your request. Coming across a dead guard, your quick to strip him off anything valuables. Shouldering a rifle over your shoulder, more children and some of the women came back, fight in the adults eyes, most of the kids holding something they could use.

“Hey, Yall get yer asses back here!” some fucker drawled heavy accented, and a look over your shoulder saw that they had rejoined ranks. “Quick, get out that hole!” You urge your group, scrambling back the opposite way where the light was, bullets whizzed at you, ducking just in time, it clipped a woman next to you, fuck it was the woman who helped you before, Sara. Sara cried out grabbing her shoulder. Grabbing her waist, you tug her to follow along and aim the automatic rifle in your hand, just randomly shooting behind you as she climbed up to fall out of the hole with a yelp. No one followed you as you to scrambled out, maybe for once luck was on your side, there seemed to be alot less of them then there was of you survivors.

Crashing rather ungracefully over the edge of the train car, you land in the snow, and blinded you try looking around, drawing in for the first time in 18 years, fresh air. It burned your lungs,the intense cold and just that it was so god damn clean. Looking around your surrounded by cliffs, and as your eyes go into focus you can see where you all went over the edge, snow still rolling down, and scattered around you was a few more cars, above one hung precariously over the edge. Fuck, how did you all survive that? “Y/N, what do we do?” What do you do? What would Curtis do? You all had never discussed being on the outside. “We have to get away from here, they will be coming out any second after us.” Everyone shivered around you, wrapping arms around themselves. The entire group surrounding you wouldnt make it for long without shelter and heat.

“Curtis” You voice was soft, he missed that.

“Hey baby” He looked over his shoulder and smiled.

“Curtis” You looked lost to him, confused.

“Im right here Babes” He held out an hand to reach for you.

“CURTIS” Why wouldnt you take his hand?

”Babygirl, whats wrong?” Striding over to reach for You, his brows coming together in confusion.

“CURTIS!” Fear and Panic etched all over you

He sat straight up with a gasp, Yona falling back from where she had been leaning over him, her face a look of fear and shock, tears tracking down her face. “What the fuck happened?!” Curtis cussed as he wildly looked around, Timmy was rocking on his heels next to Curtis, and he reached over to touch the boy, make sure he was real. “Yona... wheres Nam?” The girl shook her head, and straightened from where he knocked her over.

“Wilford and Dad are not here. That guy and girl are, over there.” She pointed among the mess. “But they wont wake up, I checked.” Curtis moved to get up, wincing. There was something broken, just ribs hopefully. He wouldnt be taking deep breaths anytime soon. And then his gaze went to his mangled hand, Okay this is more serious. Wincing as he pulled his sleeve over it to protect it, it had at least clotted enough to stop bleeding but had no idea what the real damage was yet on it. Timmy just stayed rocking nearby, Curtis debating what to do, the boy had obviously been traumatized by what had happened. But at this point, there was more pressing matters. “Yona, grab that butcher knife” Somehow they still had it.

Going to a panel, Curtis inspected it and with the knife, they managed to pry it off, and tossing the panel to the side. Ahhh, bingo, Curtis tested the wires and finding them not live wires, he started to pull and yank them out. “Cut these, a good three feet at least” He stretched it out, and Yona started slicing back and forth. Right now his first worry was Matt and Claude coming around before they could be tied up. He probably should just kill them after everything, but Curtis was just done with death. At least for now, and if You ever found out he had killed your brother, He simply couldnt. Claude, well we will see what ends up happening with that bitch. You snigger. Curtis had to hide a bit of a laugh, apparently his imagination made you a bit dark.

Yona, well he would be royally screwed without the girl, she was nimble and quick with her knots, the two of them dragging the still unconscious duo to a wall, tying them tight and far apart so they couldnt help one another, Curtis finally sighed in relief. At least for now he didnt have to worry about them at the moment. Yona again came to the rescue,having found coats in the other car, wrapping her and Timmy up.

“Theres a way out in the other car Curtis, a few are outside, just... standing around. I think they are high still.” Her own eyes bleary, it occurred to Curtis she to was coming down from the kronoles and alcohol she consumed on the trudge to the front. His voice soft “Are you okay yourself?” She twitched a bit and nodded. “Just after effects, nothing I havent felt before.” Curtis didnt like it, but he had to trust her, completely out of options. Yona took Timmys hand and together the three of them worked there way out of the Engine, and the next car, well it wasnt much better off then theres was, completely flipped over, several dead. Curtis was still questioning how they even made it out. What about the tail end? You? The anxiety of not knowing.... A deep breath was drawn in, and made him instantly regret that, fuck my ribs.

Popping his head out, rubbing at his face, he took it in. Oh God your voice echoes, and before him, stretched across the blinding whiteness of where you all ended up, was just destruction, chaos, and more death. Twisted metal cars, split open to spill out its contents to scatter across the snow, it seemed like the end wasnt to bad off the further he looked down the line, but shouldnt there be more?

Wheres the rest of the train Curtis?

Were going to go find out Y/N, Im not leaving you out there alone.

Nearby there was a small group of people, most of them were hiding in heavy fur coats, and watching them for a moment, Curtis pegged Yona to be right. These fuckers are high as a god damn kite. There were a few though, that looked more put together, and Curtis recognized one of them, his eyes narrowing. Right now he didnt have any of the typical gear on, but it was one of the men who would bring there protein bars. Wonder how many you I got to deal with? Curtis sighed, fuck he was so tired suddenly. “TImmy climb on my back” He ordered and squatted enough for the boy to wrap his arms around his neck. Going to the edge, he deemed it safe enough and jumped down, stifling a groan at the jolt in his ribs. His hand, god that was just a steady throb.

Yona inched to the edge, her feet coming over the edge, and she slid off as much as possible till she landed on Curtis shoulder, his arm wrapping around her thighs to keep her from tipping over and easing down for her to get off. As he straightened the men whom he dared guessed were some of the guards came over, they were scuffed, but not bad off as Curtis nearly was, and he braced himself for the typical aggression he knew from them, but they all held up there hands in a peace sign.

“Seriously man, were not going to do anything.” Curtis took a step back from them anyways, keeping the kids behind him. Yona peaked around him warily, studying them.

“Curtis right? weve heard of you. Listen, we have to look for survivors, this group over here is kind of useless right now, and these cars might have people trapped.” One started, another picked up.

“Front, Back.... it makes no difference now, Theres probably not enough left to make it count.”

“Right... suddenly im supposed to believe you all have a good conscious?” Curtis sure as hell wasnt going to trust them, 18 years of entrapment will do that to a man. Yona tugged on his jacket, and he spared her a look.

“Good, they will help us.” He nodded encouragment, and his gut twisted. The girl hadnt been wrong yet, but his mistrust and instinct was still was over riding that. He trusted another, and betrayed everything he believed in.

Curtis she hasnt been wrong yet, shes special.

Alright Alright, he thought, holding out his uninjured hand, he growled out. “truce for now... we wont give you any trouble. Were making our way towards the back to check on our people.” One of the guards winced.

“The back? We were coming over a bridge when the train derailled. Honestly the fact any of this is still here is shocking. Im sure the back end came off the rest of the train and went over the cliff side. A fall like that in a hunk of metal.” The man shrugged in a im sorry motion “The chances are not great anyone in those cars would survive such a fall. The tail end, its gone. Any survivors will be making there way up this way.” He looked over his shoulder and sure enough, people were slowly coming in groups. “Slim, the chances are slim, but... maybe...”

Slim, the chances were slim, but... maybe... it was all Curtis heard after he said those words.

@what-is-your-plan-today @curtisbbq @jtargaryen18 @p8tn0lish @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123

#curtis everett x reader #curtis everett #snowpiercer #chris evans #omg fresh air #they are outside!#so many die though #this one was exhausting #so much thoughts in my head

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aries-writingblog · 3 years

Text

Atlas (4)

Summary: After years of being imprisoned on the Raft, Tony negotiates freedom for his sister Tessa. When she’s free- so is her past, and it will never stop hunting her.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC(Stark)

Chapter Word count: 1939

Warnings: PTSD (subtle ish), trauma, torture (in later parts), suicidal behaviors and thoughts, mentions of death, character death, injury, violence, angst, and a lil bit of fluff in there

Disclaimer: Atlas is my own, original work with characters belonging to Marvel (except Tessa and Dr. Clifton). Plagiarism is not cool kids.

A/N: this is my first work Im posting to this platform and I’m really excited and nervous about it. Hope you enjoy- constructive criticism is always helpful as well!!

Tony stared at the screen, wondering why he was God’s choice of boxing partners. He had been decoding the intel all night, only becoming increasingly concerned as the data rolled through. There was a surplus of data that encrypted with the title ‘Project Maelstrom’. From what he could tell, it was centered around Tessa. The head of the project was a Dr. J.R. Clifton- the one who was dicking around with things he didn’t understand and caused his baby sister a lot of pain.

What Project Maelstrom seemed to have as a goal was to create more of her. This time on purpose. There were samples of her blood that were torn apart. X rays and documents of medical visits labelled T. Stark. There was even detailed descriptions of the only two missions Tessa had been sent on before she was thrown in the Raft.

Tony would admit- he was curious, burning with the need to read every detail of why she was locked away. Tessa wouldn’t tell him. Ever. And the army never gave a clear reason, just that she was a danger and her whole squad had been killed on a mission. Nothing more, nothing less. When Tony threatened them with a lawsuit, he was told that Tessa would get the death penalty if it went to court. So, he had to play nice.

Instead, he called a meeting at the ass crack of dawn to decide how to play this. He was slightly wary of breaking the news to Tessa, as it was all based around her and her powers, but he figured if he had enough fire extinguishers on hand, everything would be fine. As long as she was contained on one floor. To one room. Maybe we should meet on the roof.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“So... what’s the move?” Tony asked, hesitantly. He was trying to gauge reactions around the room, mostly focused on Tessa. She seemed to lock down as soon as he mentioned the mission reports. She wasn’t surprised or fazed by much of the other intel.

Bucky had also instantly switched his attention from Tony to Tessa as it was brought up. She hadn’t spoken to him since the incident in her room- three days ago. She remained on her floor, although Wanda had convinced her to come down to eat with her, Steve and Vision every day at lunch. Wanda seemed to have that persuasion on her.

He noticed her clam up, keeping her eyes low while Steve began to form a plan, with the help of Natasha and Tony. Bruce was sifting through the medical records produced from the intel, gleaning information to research his own. He had been curious about Tessa’s enhancement but the woman wouldn’t let him near her with any medical or scientific equipment. So, he agreed to wait until she was ready for it.

“What about the mission reports, what do they say?” Steve asked, reaching for the papers. Tessa immediately leapt up, snatching the papers before he could reach them. She looked down at them, seemingly trying to confirm her suspicions before lighting them on fire, letting the ash fall at her feet. She swallowed harshly, meeting Steve’s shocked eyes.

“There’s nothing important in them.” She snapped, dropping the last of the papers. She turned to Tony, anger in her stance. “Did you make more copies of those?” He blinked and shook his head.

“There’s the original on the drive Wilson brought back.” He answered, already aware of what she would ask him to do next.

“Delete it.” She hissed, spinning on her heel and stomping out of the room. Tony nodded, even though she had already slammed the door shut.

“Anyone want to check on her?” Tony offered. There was a hesitance in the way Bucky stood up, pushing his chair back. Tony’s eyes narrowed and zeroed in on the hulking mass of a man. “Anyone else- cause, not to be petty but he’s already killed the rest of my family and I’d like to keep what I have left around for a while.”

Bucky’s expression didn’t alter but he felt the sting of the comment. Nevertheless, he sat back down, pulling his chair in, clasping his hands on the table and keeping his gaze on them.

“Tony...” Steve chided, anger and self righteous indignation in his tone. Tony rolled his eyes before turning back to the papers. None of them could refute the obvious. Everyone was aware of the obvious- the Winter Soldier responsible for the death of the Starks- and they were aware of Tony’s less than forgiving attitude toward the recovering soldier himself.

“Whatever- just let her go, maybe she’ll blow up the top floor and set fire to my belongings.” He responded, grumbling as he began the presentation again.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Days later, Tessa was still being temperamental. Bucky had not spoken to her, Tony had been locked out of her apartment. The only ones she let in were Sam and Wanda. Sam attempted to soothe her, trying to help her make sense of her head and emotions. Wanda ensured she was eating regularly and trying to help her make sense of her powers. She knew a thing or two about out of control enhancements.

Bucky had been upset, moping around his shared apartment mostly because he was unable to talk to the person he had feelings for. The one person who he felt actually wanted him around. Steve took notice after the umpteenth sigh and ensured him that he would try to set it up for him.

“What’s that supposed to mean, jackass?” Bucky’s nose scrunched up and a wrinkle presented itself on his forehead. Steve rolled his eyes and tossed his paper to the table.

“I mean, on the mission. I’ll make you two partners. Someone has to be responsible for her, a guardian when she’s on the field, and you two got... close.” Steve began folding towels, turning his back to his roommate. Bucky blinked twice before snorting. Steve turned back around to see him pouting. “Oh- what is it, you’ve been moping around for days now- what happened between you and Tessa that’s got your panties in a twist?”

“First off- what the fuck my guy?” Bucky’s hands flicked toward him before resting on the table he sat at. “And second, it’s none of your business.”

Steve almost called bullshit. He could see that Bucky was bursting at the seams, almost exploding with his problem. The guy was the best at sneaking around to find intel or perform his espionage but ask him about a girl he had a crush on and the man would spill like a can on a car. Steve knew just what to say to get him to talk- it would only take him asking once more and Bucky would spill his guts.

“Okay... all I’m saying is that you two were helping each other. The progress you made when you started hanging out was phenomenal- exponential almost.” Steve commented, nonchalantly and kept folding his towels. Only a few more seconds now and...

“She doesn’t sleep well.” Bucky started. Steve mentally congratulated himself on being able to manipulate Bucky into talking- the same way Bucky was able to manipulate Steve into doing his share of chores. “And so I’d see her in the kitchen at night when I couldn’t sleep and we started talking. Then she gave me her dog tags, because I said I never got mine back. And my heart exploded. Steve- I’d never thought I’d feel like this again. I just want to make her happy- I want to see her smile and I want to be around her- I want to talk to her.”

Steve knew the importance of the relationship when Bucky stressed that point. Bucky never went out of his way to join a conversation or even speak to someone. It always had to be initiated by the other party and even then it was one sided. Bucky hated talking to other people. So to actually want to talk to her... Steve felt that progress was being made.

“And then, after the mission... she let me touch her.” Bucky sat back in his chair, remembering how he held her tightly. Remembering how she latched to him, like her was her life line. In a way, he was in that moment. “She let me comfort her and hold her... then she fell asleep and had a nightmare and set my shirt on fire.” Steve’s eyes widened as he whirled around to face him. Bucky was quick to defend her. “It was an accident- she apologized but... I think it hit too close to home for her. She kicked me out and she hasn’t spoken to me in days. What am I supposed to do now? I’ve grown so close to her and now... she won’t even look my way. I thought she had the same feelings but, maybe I was just caught up in my emotions, remembering what it felt like to have feelings for a woman.”

“I don’t think it’s that, Buck.” Steve assured him. He’d seen the glances Tessa gave him. She’d greet him with a ‘good morning’ and already have his coffee mug down with coffee in it. “Maybe she’s just scared. She doesn’t have a good control over her powers and she set you on fire. She just needs time, you both need to be patient with the other. It’s not gonna be easy.”

“I know that... I just- I want to jump straight into this feeling but she’s holding back... and I don’t know how to help her.” Bucky muttered. Steve had seen this before- granted it wasn’t the same reason. It was when they were teenagers and a senior girl had been stringing Bucky along because he was the best looking in the sophomore class. Poor Bucky actually had feelings for the girl but she was just trying to prove a point to her friends. But he knew Tessa was holding back for a different reason. A selfless reason.

“Just try and understand her side. If she gives you the chance, explain how you feel.” Steve couldn’t believe that he was giving Bucky girl advice. It used to be so different went they were younger. “Maybe flowers- buy her flowers to show that you’re not pissed about catching fire.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Everyone suited up?" Tony asked, tossing his glasses onto the seat beside his iron man armor. Steve and Natasha were sitting in the pilot seats, switching buttons and levers, preparing for takeoff. Sam was doing last minute repair work on Redwing, while Bucky sat beside him trying to hold back on jamming his finger directly into Redwing’s circuit board- just to annoy Sam. Wanda and Vision were sitting together reading a book they had borrowed from Laura the last time they had visited Clint. Bruce decided to stay behind, as he usually did. Tessa was the last one on the jet, taking a seat in the far back, hooking herself in and just sitting quietly.

Everyone gave Tony a response- whether it be a grunt, nod, or a ‘fuck off, mom’ from several of the passengers. Tony spared a glance back to Tessa when he didn’t hear a response from her. She was wearing the design he’d made for her. Completely fire proof, black tactical pants with a long sleeved black spandex shirt and black combat boots. She wore a Kevlar vest over the top. She was also decked out in weapons- knives in her belt and boots, a hand gun on each hip and an AR- 15 sitting by her side. He’d wanted to go for the dramatic but Tessa practically cussed him out when she saw his first idea.

“Hey, kiddo.” Tony scooted in beside her, bumping hips as he buckled his harness in. Natasha had announced take off in two minutes so he settled in beside his loving sister for a pep talk. “How you feeling?”

“Did you read those reports?” Tessa questioned, forgoing formalities and small talk. Her dark eyes landed on his face, worry and irritation building up in her brows.

“No, I didn’t. I wanted to because you never talk about it but I didn’t.” Tony sighed as Tessa relaxed slightly into her seat. “I just want to be here for you and you don’t make that easy when you hide things from me.”

“If it makes you feel better I also lie to my therapist.” Tessa cocked her head to the side.

“Well that I can understand.” Tony scoffed, gently elbowing her. Tessa smiled, looking down at her fingers, playing with a string on her fingerless gloves. “I love you, you know that right?” She nodded. “Good. So, just keep your cool this mission, alright? Don’t be afraid of your powers. Don’t be afraid that you’re putting us in danger. We can handle ourselves. And you’re paired with Barnes so just... keep your head down and follow his orders- even though I’d personally like to jab his eyes out.”

“He’s a perfectly nice guy.” Tessa muttered quietly.

“That murdered your parents.” Tony pressured, trying his best to not throw himself into a tirade. “He’s responsible for so much death and destruction-“

“Well so am I...” Tessa shot a glance at Tony, shutting him up instantly. It was the first time she had ever admitted it to him. “He isn’t the only one here with blood on his hands- the whole team is morally grey when it comes to the lives saved and taken. Besides, he wasn’t in his right mind... he’s a good guy.”

Tony could see it- the light blush on her neck and ears. He felt a pit forming in his stomach- she wasn’t falling for the guy, was she? There was so much he didn’t know about his sister from the past six years. That made him feel even worse. She had gone through so much, too much for someone her age to deal with and she wouldn’t even talk about it. So why wouldn’t she fall in love with the first person that actually listened to her- that made time for her.

“Tell you what-“ Tony told her, unsnapping the buckles and standing up. “After this mission- we go to that pizza place you and your friends used to terrorize in high school. Just the two of us. Catch up on everything we’ve missed.” Tessa looked up, meeting his eyes. The dark brown eyes of Howard Stark, passed down to both of his children.

“Sounds nice, Tony.” She agreed. “Stopping for doughnuts on fifth?”

“As many as you want.”

“It’s a deal.”

#james barnes #james buchanan bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x oc #bucky x oc

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flamingo-writes · 5 years

Text

It's Always Been You - Sylvain x Reader

Summary: After being away for five years in war with your father, the war is over and your father takes you to the Church if Seiros, where you meet the friendly faces you grew up with. Specially your best friend, Sylvain.

A/N: finally, I'm posting something about Fire Emblem Three Houses 🤣🤣 Im sorry I've been inactive, I've been purposefully been inactive, my holidays are over and I wanted to fully enjoy them. But now I am back!! Also, I’m gonna be writing the date in which I post things because I lowkey dont like not remembering when I posted something.

Posted: 01.14.2020

Words: 2.4K

Warnings: none

Pacing through the wide halls of the monastery, your eyes could hardly focus on something before something else caught your attention. And walking through what felt like endless halls only made you feel more and more nervous. Following your father, a few steps ahead of you as he limped his way forward at a faster pace than yours.

“It’s weird to be somewhere with this amount of silence…” You said as your father chuckled looking back at you.

“I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought about it” He said cheerfully, although you could see his smile didn’t reach his eyes.”I’m sorry for taking you to war for all those years”

“You already apologised enough times, father. It’s okay, I don’t mind” You lied, remembering all the nightmares that flashed before your eyes when you tried to sleep. The smell of blood still felt fresh on your nose and the screams and whimpers of soldiers dying around you.

“I know, kid. But it’ll always weigh my soul” He answered waiting for you to catch up with him and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “Good thing is, your friends are here! So I was told by Count Galatea!”

“Ingrid is here?” Your father noticed that spark of hope in your voice.

“Dimitri, Felix and Sylvain are too”

Your heart began beating faster and stronger, as suddenly you became even more aware of your surroundings, hoping that you might see them.

However, that was not the case. You finally entered the cathedral and met the archbishop, Rhea. Feeling slightly intimidated by her status as the supreme leader of the Church of Seiros, your whole demeanour became stiff and awkward.

After welcoming your father back from the local wars happening in your hometown, your father talked to her, giving her a brief summary of how your last five years at war had been. And midway through the story, a couple of men walked inside the room Rhea and your father were talking in. Rhea greeted them as you continued to stare at everyone, not fully understanding what was going on.

Not until Rhea introduced you to Byleth, one of the teachers. Byleth was by no means a person with a lot of words. And given your shy state, neither were you. You followed them, by your father’s and Rhea’s suggestion. All the silence you had been missing while being out in the battlefield suddenly became worse than war. Silence, so much silence, you felt like your thoughts could easily echo and expose you. Not until a very familiar voice broke said silence after you walked inside one of the classrooms.

“[Name]?!” That cheerful voice brought back so many of your childhood memories, and before you could even scan the classroom, Ingrid was running towards you, hugging you tighter than ever. “I can’t believe it! It’s you!” She laughed happily. “I was afraid I’d never see you again!”

You hugged her back at once as tears gathered in your eyes, thinking how neither her voice nor her scent had changed much. As you opened your eyes, you saw a much taller Dimitri walking towards you.

“Dimitri!” You cried as you broke the hug from Ingrid and hugged the blonde. He hugged you back as once. “I can’t believe how much you’ve grown!” You sobbed, burying your face in his shoulder. “I was taller than you when I left the castle” You giggled.

“I can’t believe you’re still a crybaby” A low voice said as you looked at your side and saw a much grown Felix approaching you as well.

“And you’re still an idiot, Felix” You joked as you let go of Dimitri. “I missed you guys so fucking much” tears kept falling from your eyes. “Where’s Syl?” You asked looking around.

“Probably chasing some girls outside. Don’t worry, he’ll be back soon” Ingrid assured.

As Byleth introduced you to the rest of the class, you remained close to your friends as they did most of the talking. Recalling memories from your childhood, and through their stories, your new classmates got to know you better. Sitting in a circle on the ground in the middle of the class, you were enjoying the conversation, exchanging stories from both your childhood and the time your friends had been in the academy.

You were sitting facing the door, every now and then looking outside into the garden, noticing many other students walking and chatting. Eventually, you noticed someone walking towards the room. Instinctively, your eyes scanned said figure. And then our heart stopped.

Looking straight into his eyes, the both of you paralyzed for a brief second.

“No way!” Sylvain said shocked. The widest smile taking over his face.

Without thinking it twice, you stood up and ran towards him. All of the Blue Lions looking at you sprint, faster than they could imagine, as you ran towards the red head. Jumping into his arms, you cried his name as he swiftly caught you. Holding you tight, so tight, you could feel every bit of his chest pressed against yours. Laughing, melancholic tears falling down your eyes once more. Sylvains spun on his toes, happy to see his best friend once more.

“For the Goddess’s love, [Name]” He said putting you back on the floor, still without breaking the hug. “Do not leave me again” He said kissing the top of your head.

“[Name] and Sylvain…” Ashe asked, slightly confused. The way you had greeted your other friends was nothing compared to how you had greeted Sylvain.

“Oh, they’ve always been like that. Those two used to be always together. Whenever Slvain wasn’t chasing some girl, he was hanging out with [Name]. They were each other’s second shadow, before [Name] and her father left”

“The first few months after her departure were very rough on Sylvain…” Dimitri whispered.

“Yeah, I’d never seen him so depressed. Not even when his brother left” Ingrid added “Sylvain did try to run away and bring her back. His father was pissed at him for risking his life like that”

“After [Name] left, he became a much worse womanizer than he already was…” Felix added, looking at Sylvain, holding your head in his hands and shaking you lightly, complaining about all those years you left him.

“You think he’ll slow down a little bit now that she’s with him again?” Annette asked, not really minding about Sylvain's flirty self, but because she felt uncomfortable when he was being flirty at her.

“There’s a possibility” Dimitri whispered.

“Yeah, he’ll probably go skirt chasing as a hobby when [Name] is busy and doesn’t pay much attention to him” Ingrid said

“I’ve always said those two would end up together in the future” Felix said in a low voice.

“No way!” Ingrid laughed. “I mean, I know those two are inseparable, but there is no way in heaven or hell those two would end up together. I mean, they love each other but they also can’t quite stand each other”

“Silence” Dimitri said. “They’re coming”

“I’m sorry, that’s what you get for leaving me, darling” Sylvain said.

“You think I don’t know you?” You scoffed. “Your lame ass will be coming back to me every time a girl rejects you”

“I’ve changed” He bragged lifting his chin with pride.

“Oh, have you?” You scoffed loudly.

“I’ve mastered the art of charming women. I don’t get rejected as much as I used to”

“I’m still sure you’ll be spending most of your day nagging me”

“Of course I will!” Sylvain laughed. “My best friend is back! We have to make up for all that time lost, angel” Approaching the circle, you returned to your spot. Sylvain walked next to you and gestured Dimitri to move a little bit to a side so he could sit next to you. “So, what are we guys talking about?”

“The ball and the dancing contest” Dedue said, taking back the conversation you had before Sylvain walked in the classroom.

The ball was over all fun. Maybe not the most fun night, but surely more fun than any night you had for the last 5 years. Andnafter a very much needed break, Sylvain asked you if you wanted to wander around the monastery at night.

The idea of wandering at night added something charming and spooky to the big old building. Silence ruling over the rest of it while the ball was contained in the ball room.

As much as you wanted to actually wander around, you decided to quietly follow Sylvain who walked with long steps, knowing where he was heading to.

He took you to one of the towers in the monastery. A tall tower you knew very well for what people had been whispering in the halls.

“Can I tell you something, [Name]?” Sylvain asked.

“Sure”

“After you left…You are my best friend, the best of them, okay? You know it” He began awkwardly “And after you left, I felt so lonely. I’d never felt like that before”

“I know. I did too” You said looking at him tenderly as he looked up at the sky. You noticed the rise and fall of his chest, different to how it normally is. He’s nervous, you thought. You grabbed his hand and squeezed it, just like you’d always do whenever you knew he was feeling uneasy.

“It was...so different to me. Living in a world without you. It somehow felt like starting over. I guess, after you left, I started dating women like a mad man. I guess, I was looking for someone to fill that hole you left in my chest. But it didn’t matter how many girls I went out with and how many I met, no one even got close to it”

“Syl…” You whispered. “I’m here now. We’re back together at being partners in crime, hey?”

“Partners…” Sylvain whispered looking at your hand on his.

“Syl” You purred. “I know why you brought me here…” At once he looked into your eyes. Slightly terrified. “I’m not dumb, Syl. I’ve heard the stories about this. People come to this spot and make a wish together. They say the Goddess will listen and help said wish come true. It’s romantic, it’s clearly a tradition meant for lovers…”

“[Name], I-I…” Sylvain stuttered nervously.

“I’d wish to never feel lonely again,” You said. “The day I left, it was the worst day of my life. I cried every night for several weeks. I wanted to be back home, with my friends. Especially you, Syl. I’d dream of you every single day. At least for a year. You were always on my mind, and I liked to look up at the stars and think you’d be looking at the same stars as I did”

“You’ll never be lonely again” Sylvain whispered, holding your hand and pulling it towards him, kissing your knuckles.

“[Name]” The way his voice whispered your name in such a tender way, melted your heart. You looked into his honey eyes, thinking if they had always been so gorgeous. “I’m a bit afraid of saying this, but I have to, otherwise I’ll go crazy if I keep bottling it in” Knowing what he was going to say, you blinked, your eyes inviting him to get closer. “[Name]” Cupping your face into his free hand. “I think I’m in love with you”

“Coming from such a casanova, that’s a little bit hard to believe, Sylvain” You said witty.

“After you left, I realized it’s always been you. You’re the reason why I can’t settle down with a girl. Because neither of them are you” He said leaning closer and bumping his forehead against yours.

“Prove it” You whispered closing your eyes.

“I’ve known you for as long as I can remember" He began, he leaned back, sighing in disappointment, since you thought he was going to kiss you "Life without you is no life at all, that much I know. You wished to never feel lonely, right? I will not let you feel that way again. Never. My wish is to never stray from you again. It happened once, and I’m sure I don’t want it to happen again”

“Make sure to not wish for something you’ll regret, Syl” You whispered.

“How could I regret feeling alive and full? I’d give up the world for you” His eyes met yours in the sweetest of stares.

“How come you never came for me while I was away” looking away, you tried smiling sarcastically.

“I tried" He answered at once "You can ask Ingrid. I tried at least three times. Those three I ended up locked up in my room for days"

The look you gave Sylvain, incredulous, made him lose his calm posture and instead turn defensive.

"Back then I was weak and I was scared. But now, there’s nothing in this world that could stop me. I’ve grown, and I’ve changed. And if you asked me to, I’d keep changing, and never look at another woman, ever”

“I wouldn’t do that to you, take it to that extreme…" You giggled, slightly amused "You’re a grown up, Syl. You’re free to do whatever you like" looking away from him, you stared at your feet, thinking of your next words "I’d like to ask you to be gentle with me. Don’t break my heart, please”

You looked up to your friend. He sighed deeply, a gentle smile on his lips as he leaned closer, bumping his forehead against yours again.

“I won’t. Your heart’s safe with me. I promise, [Name]” His velvet voice purred your ears as you closed your eyes, hoping that he'd finally lean in into the kiss you'd been craving.

“I love you, Syl” You whispered as he leaned closer.

“I love you too” Sylvain muttered, his breath hitting your lips, and your heart racing in anticipation.

He closed the distance, a bit afraid and insecure. A million thoughts came to his mind before sealing the kiss. He was going to kiss his best friend, and he had just confessed to his best friend. And yet, the moment his lips.met yours, his mind went blank. His heart and your breathing was everything he could hear. Your scent tangling with his was everything he could smell. Despite the cool wind howling, your warmth was everything he could feel. Melting into your lips, you kissed him back.

#sylvain x reader #fire emblem sylvain #sylvain gautier #sylvain jose gautier #fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem imagines #feth #fe3h #fire emblem x reader #I should be heading to school by this hour #but I am here posting #nkjdnckc #next one coming is one about dimitri #can u tell I took the blue lions route

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hayffiebird · 4 years

Text

Taste of Strawberries, Chap. 21

Hayffie Post-Mockingjay Multi-chapter, Rated M

I hope you like angst on your fanfic sandwish :) Leave a comment and tell me your thoughts!

Also: (spoiler not a spoiler) I included the Capitol anthem from the new THG book “The ballad of songbirds and snakes” but it doesn’t give away the story so it’s safe to read.

Chapter 21 The betrayal

*ring ring*

… What?

*swallows back a sob* Haymitch? Haymitch, it’s me.

Ah. There she is. Long time no princess. What can you want?

I’m sorry. I know I should have called you a long time ago.

Oh, I remember that voice. Effs Trinket needs a shoulder to cry on, huh? So she goes to good ol’ Haymitch. Course. *takes a mouthful of something* It’s too bad mine’re all the way down here then. Both of ‘em.

I can take the train. If I go now I ought to be…

Here in a day. Yeah. And I’m supposed to just welcome you with open arms?

Haymitch…

That’s my name.

I really must speak to you. It’s im…

What for? I’m a dead-end drunk, remember?

I’ve never called…

No, that’s right. Your words were much fancier.

I know you’re angry. This is not easy for me either but…

I’m fine, sweetheart. Just fine. Can’t ruin a life that’s already ruined, right? I s’pose you want all your crap back? Yeah, the kids have it. They think you’re gonna come back, you know. “When hell freezes over”, am I right? But you know Peeta. I’ll just tell ‘em to send it over straight away so you never have to set your foot here ever again. Great, huh?

You left me, Haymitch! I didn’t want you to go! I didn’t want it to end!

Could’ve fooled me. *twists the top of another bottle* And don’t you worry your pretty head, sweetheart. You’ll get over it. Trust me. Soon you’re gonna find some nice, wholesome guy who does exactly what he’s told. It’ll be all: “Yes, Euphemia. No, Euphemia. Whatever you say, Eu…”

Don’t call me that! Haymitch, please! Mrs. Q, she… she tried to… I need you! If you care about me at all…

Oh, I cared about you. A lot. More than a lot. Should’ve fucking known better. So why don’t you call Plutarch or Octavia or any other of your friends and just leave me alone. Cause I owe you nothing. Nothing at all.

*sobs* I’m so stupid.

Have a wonderful life, Eff. I’m sure you’re gonna be deliriously happy.

*toot toot*

xXx

There was still some broth left. Katniss slipped her flask into a jacket pocket and poured a second mug.

The storm had finally blown itself out, for now anyway, but one look through the window quelled all hope for a hunting day. No point roaming the woods for sustenance when the snow lay waist-deep.

She fed Buttercup her last piece of bacon and carried the mug into the living room.

“I’m going to the bakery.”

Nightmares had made Haymitch kick all the cushions off the couch again. He lay on his side with the knife cradled against his chest like some scary version of a teddy bear.

“There’re scrambled eggs if you want it,” Katniss said. “And some bacon. I left it on the stove.”

She couldn’t set the mug down. Wasn’t enough space on the coffee table and Haymitch grunted at the sound of glass against glass when she tossed the empties in the container by the door.

He muttered something she couldn’t make sense of and pulled his arm up over his eyes to ward off the light from the one lamp. “Drink the broth at least.” She placed the cup at arm’s reach and was gone.

It was almost a month now since Haymitch set up camp on their couch. One day mid-dinner he just staggered into their living room and he hadn’t left since.

He was decent enough to not completely trash the place but still, you didn’t want Haymitch Abernathy for a roommate. He was hard enough to deal with nextdoor.

Katniss couldn’t stand it being at home these days. Haymitch woke both her and Peeta almost every night with the agonized sounds he made in his sleep and daytime was no better.

Their mentor, hollow-eyed and shrunken on the couch – it all reminded her too much of her mother and Katniss fled when she couldn’t help. She kept to the woods as much as possible and if not the woods the bakery or the Hob or Hazelle’s.

Anywhere but home.

When they finally asked him if it wasn’t time he moved back to his own house, they cleaned it for him, Haymitch only shot them a long look, like a dog they had just mistreated and rolled over so he faced the couch.

“She’s there,” that’s all he muttered.

And what could they do? Not tie him up and dump him somewhere. He was their mentor and they already owed him more than they could ever repay.

They had known something was off the moment they got home, the day before Christmas Eve.

They walked up the old pathway, loaded with bags and the first thing they saw when they passed Haymitch’s house was the Christmas tree lying in the snow, still green and frosty and covered with ornaments. Like someone had just thrown it out the door.

And it wasn’t the only thing.

In the ever-growing light they saw the ground littered with items. Towels and bed sheets and bath robes lay in bundles, all frozen stiff. Soggy, old newspapers and magazines too, blown apart by the frisk wind.

Her clothes were everywhere, along with an endless number of bottles and jars and other beauty products half-buried in the snow. They found napkins and slippers, perfume bottles and pillows. Hairbrushes, tea cups, blankets, curtains, shower curtains, even anagrammed towel hangers attached to chunks of the bathroom wall.

The state of his house was even worse, like a twister had gone through it. They asked him about it but Haymitch was a closed book.

Then, of course they found Effie’s note on their kitchen table and it wasn’t hard to piece together what had happened in their short absence.

They wanted to help. Of course they did. Only, how? Wasn’t like they could change what had already happened or say anything to make it better.

Not that Peeta didn’t try to talk to him. Talk at him. Finally Katniss stepped up and said, not unkindly,

“Just leave him be.”

Haymitch had said next to nothing the whole time but when Katniss and Peeta turned to leave he stopped them in their tracks.

“Just so we’re clear,” he said and looked Peeta straight in the eye; a feat considering how intoxicated he was. “You don’t get any ideas ‘bout calling the Capitol, alright. I mean it, boy. This is my wreckage.”

Sun set early this time of year. For the remaining hours, Katniss and Peeta dug for treasures in Haymitch’s garden, until they had to squint in order to see. And even then some of Effie’s belongings would probably not be found until Spring.

They brought it all back to their house. Silently, Peeta filled the sink with hot water and suds and washed the plates and glasses and tea cups while Katniss stood at the ready with a towel, both of them deep in thought.

Back in District 4, when Peeta gathered her in bed, he had teased her about their cosy, up-coming Christmas. Painted her pictures of Effie plaguing both her and Haymitch with her bright holiday spirit and bringing them gifts – wrapped in regular wrappings so she didn’t technically break Haymitch’s rule of “no Christmas presents.”

Dinner at the Hob would follow where Effie would spend about two thirds of it clucking over Haymitch’s table manners and Haymitch stating he should just hire her voice to cut his turkey for him and “we’re not doing this again, that’s for sure”, all the while not quite able to keep his hands to himself.

“And then they’ll top the evening with a see-through excuse like ‘I’m gonna go get a bottle’ or ‘I am simply exhausted. Do you mind if we call it a night?’,” Peeta finished and grinned at Katniss who squirmed like a worm in hot ashes.

It just felt good to make fun of their mentor being happy for once. Happy with Effie.

Now, everything was in ruins and tomorrow would be just like any other day, with Haymitch drunk and getting drunker.

Not that Christmas had ever been a busy affair in the Victor’s Village. They had dinner and that was pretty much it. A slightly fancier one, perhaps, with about a 50% chance of Haymitch joining. He only ever showed up last New Year’s because of Effie.

Because of Effie. That phrase applied for many aspects of Haymitch’s life, didn’t it? He’d deny it but just the fact she got him to even consider drying out pretty much said everything.

“Maybe we should call her,” Peeta wondered, not sure himself.

“But you heard him,” Katniss said. “This is none of our business. And they’ll come around, eventually.”

They were both so used to their mentor and escort’s antics. Those stubborn, old fools were always at each other’s throat and through and through they found a way back to one other. Back at each other’s side.

This too would pass, surely? Sooner or later, one of them would swallow their pride and pick up the phone.

And while Katniss and Peeta waited for that call they stored Effie’s things for safe-keeping, well out of Haymitch’s sight and stopped asking questions.

But February rolled to a close with dark days and even darker nights. Life in Twelve was just one storm after another and people were forced to seek shelter at the Hob so as not to get lost in them. The vixen’s cry echoed in the night and Katniss and Peeta stored up on candle sticks for the blackouts.

March came with the deceiving breath of spring only to bury the district in a second winter. Hazelle’s kids put her on bed rest after a sprained ankle. Brooks gushed in plentiful streams under the ice and an apple-cheeked Katniss returned from the woods, game bag loaded with wild turkey.

April arrived with warmer weather. Tiny greens peeked in people’s gardens and the patches of last year’s grass grew bigger for each day. Water dropped down every icicle and town’s kids and Seam kids alike melted snow in water barrels to make the spring come faster.

Everyone kept busy. It was a time of change, of rebirth. Winter was finally over and it had a rejuvenating effect on everyone.

Well, almost everyone.

Effie’s name was never mentioned and yet she was ever present. If an outsider walked past and saw Haymitch on the couch he might think “same old, same old”. But Katniss and Peeta were family and they knew him better than that.

Haymitch had never been an easy person to deal with and definitely not a happy-go-lucky one. But every once in a while, if he had a couple hours of dreamless sleep it was like he got an energy boost.

That’s when he got up, checked on the geese, helped Peeta in the bakery, maybe just had a hot meal down at the Hob before he returned to his bottles.

Now, it was like he didn’t care about anything anymore. He just lay on the couch, drinking and God help the one who bothered him. He only ever left for the bathroom breaks or when his liquor ran out.

But even that came to an end.

It happened when Haymitch staggered into the Hob on a Sunday morning.

“Usual,” he slurred and tossed handfuls of money on Ripper’s bar counter.

“Sorry, Haymitch. You’re too early,” she said. “The train doesn’t arrive until Monday. We’re all out now.”

“Usual!” Haymitch repeated, louder this time like she was slow. Sighs rose from around the tables.

“It’s Sunday,” Ripper told him patiently. “Come back tomorrow and I’ll get your bottles. I can’t sell it to you now because we’re out.”

She couldn’t make him understand. Each time she tried Haymitch only got surlier. “Wha’s the problem?” he whined. “I have money. Wha’s the problem?”

He scared some of the little kids eating breakfast with their parents. The temperature in the diner seemed to have dropped twenty degrees and finally a gray-haired old man muttered, loud enough for Haymitch to hear it,

“Who’d have thought we’d ever wish for that fancy sow to come back?”

That’s when Haymitch wielded his knife. He was so drunk it was pathetic but for Ripper that was it! She kicked him out and told him either he left his knife at home or he would have to get someone else to buy him his liquor.

From then on, Katniss and Peeta stocked up his supplies and Haymitch found even fewer reasons to get up.

What for?

Maybe it would have been better, Katniss thought. Less cruel, if he never got those precious few months with Effie. Because losing her, losing her altogether and not just as a lover, seemed to have opened a crack in his rock bottom and pushed him down that hole as well.

And Effie, how was she doing?

xXx

May. God, he hated May. Ever since he turned twelve, the month right before the Hunger Games was nothing but a ticking clock. Even now, years after the war had ended, there were still times when he started awake, thinking,

Reaping day’s almost here!

He couldn’t sleep. While he marinated his liver a bug had detoured in to the house and was now buzzing about in the window.

The sound unnerved him because the bloody thing just wouldn’t give up! It bumped and thumped against the glass over and over again, yearning for freedom.

It was Peeta’s damn fault. He always opened a window when it rained.

Finally he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Alright, alright,” Haymitch growled and swung his legs off of the couch.

It was a wasp. Not the tracker jacker kind, just a regular one. It crawled along the window sill, flew into the glass once more and wiggled it’s antennae in irritation.

“Out with you now,” Haymitch muttered as he struggled with the window hooks. “Be free.” And watched the bug disappear.

The night air felt balmy against his skin. He took his time unscrewing the lid on the silver hip flask. The geese were quiet for a change but the mockingjays were still up, frisky and begging for company. He ran his hand through his wild beard and drank the flask dry. It didn’t take long.

He was just looking for something to fill it up with when he heard the sound. One even his soaked brain could place.

A phone. Ringing.

His mind jumped to Effie and he could’ve kicked himself for it. He resisted the desire to slam the window shut and closed it before he returned to the couch. The coffee table held nothing but empties. They clinked under his fingertips until he found one with some in it. He lifted it to his lips and greeted the burn with a sigh of relief.

Outside, the ringing continued. Even with the window closed, there was no escaping it.

It’s not her. Why’d she call now? No reason for her to call now.

After what felt like 10 years, the phone silenced. The knot in his stomach eased somewhat and after he promised himself to tear the phone out the wall as soon as the sun rose he walked over to the cabinet and peeked inside.

“Thank you, kids,” he mumbled at the welcomed sight. He grabbed same bottles at random and brought them back to the couch. But before he got the chance to flop down on his ass-print the phone went off again.

“Oh, fuck me,” he wheezed.

Who called him at three in the morning? No, strike that. Who called him, period?

Sweat trickled down his sides in never-ending streams. The sound played on his nerve strings like a violin. It was the wasp all over again because the caller, whoever it was, didn’t give up. Refused to stop until he did something about it.

A hundred whispered insults spilled over Haymitch’s lips as he pulled on his shoes.

He hadn’t seen the inside of his house in months. The last time he was here had been a fucking nightmare. Broken furniture, broken everything.

The long, hard signals cut through the stillness like a knife.

It’s not her.

He picked up the phone and the blare of music nearly ripped her ear drum. He held the thing a meter away.

“Hello?” someone called. “Helloo?”

He brought the phone closer.

“Who is this?”

“Well, hi to you too!” the person laughed. It was a woman’s voice. One he recognized, only he couldn’t quite place it. From the Capitol at least. “How’s the bachelor’s life treating you, Haycock?” the stranger woman asked. When he didn’t answer she went on, “It’s me, Gloria! Gloria Highgrass. We met at Octavia’s birthday party, remember? Yellow dress. Good-for-nothing cousin by my side.”

Haymitch drew a silent sigh. Of course.

“Where you’ve been hiding, hm?” she asked. ”Haven’t seen you in a while. Finally tired of your afternoon delight?”

“Why don’t you go fuck yourself.”

“Oh,” Gloria chuckled. “You kiss your bottle with that mouth? What would Effie said?”

Her words drew giggles. Clearly, they had an audience and he was just about to slam the phone down when she said,

“I just saw her, that little cock-warmer of yours. And between you and me: I don’t blame you for leaving. What a mess, haha! You screwed her up good, Haycock! She’s so unfuckable now! Well done, sir. Well done.”

And her brilliant laughter hammered his head.

“Do you know we all placed bets on how long the two of you would last? It’s true! You cost me a fortune, Haycock! You guys stuck it out way longer than I thought. And then my useless cousin told me about your little scene at the train station. ‘Get your shit together’ and all that. God, I wish I was there!”

She had a sip of something and then rallied on,

”You wanna know what I think? I think she planned the whole thing. So you’d never leave her. Too bad she forgot that district scum scurry off like cockroaches once the light’s on. Well, she’s paying for it now, isn’t she? How’d she tell you? Before or after you cleared out?”

It was a wonder the phone didn’t break in Haymitch’s fist. He could hardly breathe, that’s how furious he was. But he refused to give this woman the satisfaction of him losing his temper.

“Hey, lady,” he said, in a very measured voice. “If you know something about Effie, spit it out. Or else you can just stop wasting my time and go back to your pathetic little life.”

That finally silenced her. For about three seconds.

”You don’t know?” she said. “You kidding me? He doesn’t know!”

And everyone on the other end broke down in hysterical laughter. Gloria contained hers just long enough to say,

”Come back to the Capitol, Haycock! See for yourself!”

And she slammed the phone in his ear.

He couldn’t stand another second in this place. Her things may be gone but he still felt Effie’s presence in every corner of the house. Like fumes slowly killing you.

He didn’t realize how much his hands trembled until he was back on the couch. He balled them into fists.

The nerve of that woman! “Come see for yourself.” The hell’s that supposed to mean?

He needed a drink. He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants and tipped the first bottle he found in to his mouth, again and again until he came up choking.

The liquor numbed his worries like they numbed everything else.

“You screwed her up good.” Yeah, that’s likely. He didn’t fancy himself being important enough to lose even a minute’s sleep over.

Maybe so. But you’re not the only bad thing that’s happened to her. Remember?

“She’s fine,” he told the empty room. “Just fine.” Probably thrived now that she didn’t have to deal with him anymore. That low-life Gloria Highgrass was just fucking with his head. She wanted to cause a spectacle, get some gossip material, that’s all.

If Effie was in any kind of need all she had to do was pick up the phone and call him.

Besides, wasn’t like she kept in touch to see how he was fairing. It was damn clear she didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. And if she didn’t care, why should he?

Yeah, he thought and reached for the next bottle. Let her deal with her own demons.

xXx

If Haymitch thought he was the only one up he was wrong. Katniss slept a deep slumber for once but all the creaks and groans coming from the floorboards downstairs finally wormed their way into Peeta’s dreams until he flinched awake.

The room burned with morning light. Peeta’s heart pounded in his chest but he remained still so as not to disturb Katniss while he listened to the sounds below.

It wasn’t the first time Haymitch “ghosted the halls”. Peeta remembered it especially well from their train rides together and back at the penthouse during the Games.

Sometimes it seemed like Haymitch just couldn’t stand to remain in the same place, locked inside his own head. And that’s when he stalked from room to room, aimlessly. Like a bear in a cage. Well, a bear with a bottle in its paw.

No, it wasn’t the first time but it was the first time in a while. And he used to go to bed with the sun so what was he still doing up?

At least with Haymitch on the couch, you knew where you had him. Finally Peeta carefully extracted himself from Katniss and slipped out of bed, just to check on him. That wouldn’t be a first either.

He reached the foot of the stairs just as Haymitch returned in to the living room, surprisingly sober. Sobered up. He sunk down on the couch, elbows on his knees. He never noticed Peeta. His eyes were squarely focused on something in his hands.

Peeta couldn’t tell what it was at first but then Haymitch shifted it over and the penny suddenly dropped.

It was a paper goose. The paper goose. He knew it well because it used to sit on the window sill back in his studio. Haymitch must have ventured inside and stumbled upon it by co-incidence.

Effie’s paper goose. Well, Haymitch’s really since she gave it to him.

Peeta remembered the day she made it. It was the summer Haymitch had brought her here after the over-dose.

She had one of her good days and joined them for breakfast in the studio. He painted, Katniss ate cheese buns, Haymitch doodled a horrible caricature of Effie and in exchange she made him this little origami creature.

A good day in an ocean of bad ones.

Shortly after, the night terrors sent her in a down-ward spiral again and just to keep her from clocking out Haymitch said he thought about getting some geese. What’d she think?

The idea probably originated from Chaff. Eleven’s victor loved everything made from the bird. Roast goose and buttered potatoes, corned goose hash, fried eggs with mushrooms.

Those were the dishes he ordered at the training centre before the third Quarter Quell and if memory didn’t deceive Peeta he even told Caesar Flickerman after he was crowned victor, that he liked to raise geese once he returned to District Eleven.

Now he never really got that idea off the table. Instead, Haymitch did. Well, sort of. None of his birds had ever wound up on a plate.

In any case, Peeta bet the whole ”let’s go to Eleven” adventure wasn’t motivated by some great desire to buy geese. That’s just what Haymitch had her believe. Because for whatever reason Effie lived up a little whenever she got to plan things. It gave her a sense of control.

It was slick how he played it. Made her think “This will be good for Haymitch” when really it was “good for Effie”. Something to keep her mind occupied. His own way to try and coax her out of her depression.

A hundred memories drenched up by one paper bird. That’s what Peeta witnessed this very moment. Haymitch could have crushed it easily. Just made a fist and tossed it on the fire. He tossed everything else that even vaguely reminded him of her.

He didn’t. The way he held it, you’d think it was one of his goslings and he had a look on his face that would not have been there, had he known someone was watching.

“Morning,” Katniss yawned as she walked in to the kitchen, hours later. Peeta stood by the stove, quietly pouring hot water through the tea leaves. She reached for the jug of orange juice to set it on the table. “Where’s Haymitch at? I didn’t see him.”

“On the train.”

Katniss stopped, eyebrows lifted.

“You sure?”

In answer, he pointed at the table and she discovered the note, jotted down on a scrap of paper.

I’m gonna go see Effie. Call her and tell her I’m coming, OK? Thanks.

“You talked to her? What’d she say? What?” she asked at the look on Peeta’s face.

“I tried, for about an hour,” he said. “I can’t get through. The phone’s disconnected.”

xXx

Gem of Panem Mighty city Through the ages, you shine anew

Intertwined with their laughter, the Capitol anthem echoed around the deserted city. Morning light stretched their shadows into four giants as they walked down the street, arm-in-arm. Their makeup was smeared, the flowers in their outfits drooping. All evidence of what a smash hit the night had been!

We humbly kneel To your ideal And pledge our love to you!

Coriana’s voice rose highest of them all, the only member in their quartet who could hit all the high notes, drunk or sober, but they all joined in just as merrily with the voice they had.

Gem of Panem Heart of justice Wisdom crowns your marble brow

It felt good, comforting, to chant the age old verses of their childhood. The real anthem of Panem. The politically correct atrocity Paylor whipped together didn’t hold a candle to it!

You give us light You reunite To you we make our vow

Tipsy to say the least, Priscilla wobbled dangerously in her sky-high heels but each time she careened to far to the left, they steered her right again with many giggles and “Oopsy-daisy!”

Gem of Panem Seat of power Strength in peacetime, shield in strife

“Oh, this is my favorite part!” warbled Imogen who couldn’t carry a tune with a gun to her head.

Protect our land With armored hand Our Capitol, our…

Lancer gasped, mid-through the final crescendo. Linked with the others he almost toppled them over at sudden halt.

“My gracious!” he said. “It’s Haymitch Abernathy!”

Up ahead, a man had just appeared round a corner. Ruffled clothes, hair hanging forward, everything about him completely out of place here. He paid them no attention but it was him, without a doubt. The drunken traitor of District 12.

“You heard about him and Effie Trinket, right?” Imogen asked in a loud whisper.

“Of course we heard,” said Coriana. “The whole town knows.”

“Ugh. Just look at him.” Priscilla wrinkled her nose. “At least on television he dressed decently. Disgusting!”

“She’s the one who’s disgusting,” Lancer said and pursed his lips. “He’s district. What did you expect? But a Capitolian really should know better.”

“I would jump off a cliff if it was me!”

“It could never be you, Imogen, the very thought!” said Coriana. “What’s he doing here again? Flaunting himself on our streets after what he did. What they did!”

If Haymitch heard them he didn’t show it and he didn’t change his course. When they remained shoulder to shoulder, gawking at him he sawed right through them like they were a flock of pigeons and they jumped apart with furious cries.

“You should be ashamed of yourself!” Priscilla shouted to his back. “I really think you should!”

Those four weren’t the only ones who questioned what Haymitch was doing in the Capitol. Had there been one positive consequence of him and Effie breaking up it was that he would never have to see this place again.

Well, the joke’s on him.

She’s not back on pills, he told himself as he kicked a squashed ice cream cup far up the street. She promised she wouldn’t go down that road again.

The train ride was hell on earth. Throughout the long hours he failed to quiet his mind, to shake off his worries over Glorias’s words and why he couldn’t get a call through to Effie. Just thinking about their impending reunion made him sick, until he finally caved in to the bottles in his duffel.

Ironically, the one thing that stopped him from drinking himself completely senseless was the paper goose, now hitching a ride in his pocket. It helped him focus.

Walking the deserted avenues, through glitter and serpentines left from some party only reminded him of the first time he came here unannounced.

Little Ms. Hypocrite. She was one to talk about having someone almost die in your arms.

But she’s not back on pills.

The brightness of the sun reflected in the candy buildings, the lush public gardens alive with bird song, the bounty flowerbeds, the gushing fountains. It was like the Capitol mocked him with its splendor. Days like this were Effie’s favourites.

And there her building was. He saw it over the roof tops, windows reflecting bits of the blue sky. With a grimace, Haymitch slowed his steps like he’d run out of gas. Fuck it. He needed a drink. One more or less, what did it matter? He wasn’t going to stay here long anyway.

He was still struggling to close the zipper as he entered her street, her curb. He pulled the straps over his shoulder, about to give the door a knock.

And he just stared. Dumb-founded, for half a minute or more. Gaped at her front door, like the gaggle of fools he passed earlier.

No, no this can’t be right, he thought, unable to take in what his eyes were telling him. It’s gotta be a mistake.

The name plate on Effie’s door was gone. The window shutters were all closed. He turned the handle. It wouldn’t budge. He rang the bell. He knocked, pounded rather. No one opened. The place was completely dead.

But it made no sense! Effie had lived in this apartment almost all her life!

He walked over to the windows, shielded his eyes from the sunlight as he tried to peer through the shutters for any movements inside.

“Eff?”

He returned to the door, raised his hand for another knock.

“She’s not here,” a voice rung out.

He turned at the sound. On the other side of the road, just across from him, stood an old lady. The same dry twig of a woman he’d seen twice before. At least twice.

“Mr. Abernathy,” she said. The sun glinted off the gem stones in her wrinkled cheeks. Her mouth was pressed into a thin line. “Didn’t think I would ever see you here again.”

He crossed the road.

“The hell’s going on here? Where’s Effie?”

The woman’s pale green eyes pierced his. She had to lift her chin to do it. Just like Sae she barely cleared his shoulders but that’s where the similarities ended. Because this woman’s eyes held none of her warmth or gaiety.

And yet, behind the frost he noticed that same sadness he’d seen there before. Only not for him.

“I warned her”, she said. “I told her from the very beginning not to get involved with someone like you. A man who would give her nothing but heartache. But she never heeded my advice. She didn’t want to listen.”

“Here’s an idea,” Haymitch cut her off. “How ‘bout you quit playing games with me and tell me what you know.”

“I blame myself,” the woman continued, unfazed by the interruption. “I insisted she applied for an escortship. If she became an architect like she first wanted, she wouldn’t be where she is now. Maybe none of us would.”

“Who are you?” Haymitch demanded. “What’s your name?”

“Mrs. Quinlan.”

Quinlan? He had definitely heard that name before. Nothing Games related, at least he didn’t think so. No, Effie had mentioned her at some point. Yeah, at the hospital, after her rescue. She asked if she was still alive. If she was safe.

Mrs. Q.

“You’re Eff’s landlady.”

The woman shook her head.

“Not anymore.”

“Because you kicked her out.”

“She’s beyond my help,” Mrs. Quinlan said. “Euphemia was a good girl, Mr. Abernathy. A good daughter. I have wept blood for her sake but I never gave up on her. Even after the war. She got one last chance to make amends. To build up a life for herself that she could be proud of. And she went and threw it all away the moment she decided to keep your young.”

Haymitch heard the words, loud and clear, but it was like he couldn’t absorb them. Make sense of what she just said.

It was like when he was little and broke his arm, falling down a tree. They all saw it was broken but it didn’t hurt. Not straight away. Like the shock was so great nothing registered.

“’Keep my young?’ he rasped. Heat rose up his throat and face until it burned. “What do you mean ‘keep my young’?”

For the first time, a flicker of surprise registered on Mrs. Quinlan’s face.

“Where is she?” He didn’t think his voice would carry at all. Instead it echoed around the buildings. “If not here, where’s she staying?”

“Go home, Mr Abernathy,” she said. “You have done enough damage as it is.”

“If you don’t want me to wake the entire neighborhood, you tell me where she is!”

Sleepy heads already poked out windows at the commotion. There were murmurs, curious looks thrown their way. Mrs. Quinlan’s lips pressed into the same tight line.

“She moved in with Caesar Flickerman’s daughter. I assume I don’t have to tell you which one.”

xXx

The bearded dragon slumped on her favorite spot in the vivarium - a gnarled old tree root and basked in the warm rays slanting through the windows.

When they first got her she fitted in your pocket. Now they had to use both hands to carry her properly. Sandy yellow and with a look on her face like “you’re all beneath me” you’d think she was the distant cousin of a certain District 12 cat but it was only an illusion.

“Hey, you,” June said and slipped a hand inside the enclosure, knuckles down, fingers outstretched in an inviting gesture. The reptile crawled down the root and over to her. June gave her a soft scratch under the spiky chin and the animal climbed up her palm.

Annabel sat by the secretary desk, her tea long cold and forgotten, but when June passed, she took the time petting their dragon before she returned to her letter. She eyed what she’d just written, critically and gave a deep sigh.

“They won’t even…”

“They will,” said June. She had settled on the couch with the dragon on her lap. The animal closed her eyes under the soft strokes.

It had been a quiet, docile morning with just the occasional car passing by and the gentle scratch of pen against paper.

“The crates should arrive today,” said June and reached for her own cup of tea.

Right on cue the bell rang.

“Speaking of the devil,” said Annabel. She set the pen down and slowly and painfully flexed her fingers.

It rang again, on her way through the hallway.

“Coming!” She pulled her hair back in a hasty pony tail. A shadow moved behind the frosted glass. She took the chain off the door.

And came face to face with the victor of District 12.

”Mr. Abernathy,” she said, eyebrows lifted. “I…”

He didn’t let her finish.

”Effie,” he said. His face was a deep red. “She here?”

“Bel?” June’s voice fluttered in from the living room.

“Is she here?” Haymitch repeated, the fury behind the words only barely contained. “Never mind that. I know she is.”

“She’s here, Mr. Abernathy,” said Annabel.

That’s all he needed. He pushed past her.

“Eff?” he called as he stalked into the living room. June had risen, face white as paper. The dragon’s tail flailed between her cupped hands at the sudden alarm.

Annabel had followed inside and he turned on her again.

“I know all about it,” he spat. She could smell the hard liquor fumes on him. June quickly set the reptile back in the safety of the vivarium. “I know she’s pregnant so don’t try and lie to me!”

“I’m not lying to you.”

“Where is she?”

“She’s resting.”

“Well, go and wake her up!”

“Mr. Abernathy,” she said, voice suddenly firm. “You will not shout in my house.”

“I don’t care! She thought she can just have my kid and never tell me? Who the hell does she think she is!? I wanna talk to her. Give her a piece of my mind!”

“Not until you’ve calmed down!”

“The hell with you! I’ll go find her myself.”

He turned for the door but she was right at his heel.

“Stop it!” June cried when Haymitch shoved Annabel’s hand off of him. The tea cup knocked over and crashed against the floor. The dragon ran frantically around in its cage. “Stop!”

“Get your fucking hands off me!”

“Haymitch, what are you doing!?”

Her cry made them all turn. Flushed and out of breath from the rush and alarm Effie stood in the doorway, a robe carelessly thrown over her nightdress. Her eyes locked on his, for the first time in months and the words choked in his throat. It was like the rest of the room and everyone in it just disappeared. Everyone but Effie.

And through the blood pounding in his head he could make only one coherent thought.

What have I done to her?

xXx

“I’ll be in the back if you need anything,” Annabel said as she swept up the last of the broken cup. A spitting mad June had already retreated to their bedroom, carrying the dragon with her and now Annabel went as well, leaving Haymitch and Effie to talk in private.

Not that Haymitch looked like he’d ever speak again. He hunkered in the armchair with his arms crossed over his chest. Effie sat on the couch but they could just as well be light years apart.

“Who told you?” she asked in a hushed voice.

”Does it matter?” He wasn’t yelling now. Wouldn’t even look at her. He seemed to have aged ten years in the past half hour.

“No,” said Effie. “No, I suppose not.”

She had a blanket draped over herself. Like that was going to hide anything.

“I thought you were on the pill?”

“I was.”

“Time and money you could’ve saved, clearly,” he said through gritted teeth. “And the whole Capitol knows I’m the father?”

“Yes,” she said quietly. “I wanted to tell you.”

“So why didn’t you? If you have my kid rolling around in your tummy I deserve to know about it, don’t you think?”

When she didn’t answer straight away his eyes darted to her face. And his insides contracted all over again as cold panic flooded his limbs.

“What, Eff?”

”It’s...” Her voice faltered. “We’re not...”

“We’re what?”

He saw his own anxiety mirrored in her eyes. She placed her hand against her stomach and his throat closed up. Because he knew the truth before she said it.

No! No, I don’t wanna hear it!

”It’s two,” she said. “Haymitch, I’m so sorry you had to find out this way. I didn’t…”

But Haymitch had already heaved himself to his feet. He wanted to throw up. He would throw up.

“I can’t do this.”

”Wait,” she said but he didn’t look at her. Couldn’t look at her and her big stomach.

”I need some air.”

xXx

“Good afternoon, Mathilda,” Mr. Bumble smiled when he crossed her door. His elegant, twirled up mustache was dyed a dusk pink today, the same color as the lap dog, freezing at his feet.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Bumble,” Mrs. Quinlan said, hoping he would pick up on the very inappropriate use of her first name.

He didn’t.

“I’d stay and chat,” he said, “but Helga is waiting for us.” And he gave his bouquet of blue roses a little wave. “It’s our anniversary, you know! 25 years!”

“How wonderful. Give her my best,” Mrs. Quinlan said mechanically as he trotted off down the street. If Helga was home or even remembered what day it was, she would eat up her hat.

She dropped the key in to her handbag and crossed the road, mindful of any ice patches hidden under the fresh snow.

The door was locked but that she only expected. So she slipped her hand into her handbag and got out different set of keys. Normally she took pride in not using them but the girl had sounded very off on the phone. Sad.

“Euphemia?” she said as she stepped inside. The flat was dark but she turned the lights on as she went. She knew her way around this apartment, almost as well as her own. “Euphemia, where are you?”

She heard noises from the master bedroom. Retches that led her straight for the adjoined bathroom.

Effie’s nightgown clung to her with sweat. Slumped down on her knees, she clutched the toilet seat as she threw up. Tears and perspiration rolled down her face from the ordeal.

She didn’t hear anyone come in. That way she never saw the complete and utter shock on Mrs. Quinlan’s face. But she quickly composed herself again.

“Euphemia.”

Effie looked up, startled.

“Oh”, she groaned. She was pale as a sheet, her eyes wet and red. “Mrs. Q, now’s… not a good time.”

And she disappeared inside the bowl again as the next wave rolled in.

Mrs. Quinlan didn’t say anything. She just pulled up a stool and seated herself. She gathered Effie’s hair with one hand and held it back from her face until the worst was over.

When Effie grew still, head heavy against her arms, just heaving breaths of both exhaustion and relief Mrs. Quinlan reached for a towel.

“Here,” she said and soaked it under the faucet. “Clean yourself.”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Q,” Effie mumbled and dabbed her mouth with it. She felt Mrs. Quinlan’s eyes on her and tried to elude them by wiping the tears off her cheeks. “I am not quite myself today.”

“Euphemia.”

“Must be something I ate.”

“Euphemia, look at me, please.”

With an enormous effort, Effie lifted her head. She swallowed and swallowed. The color of her face had returned, from barely holding it together.

“Are you with child?”

Those words did it. It was like a dam broke. Effie buried her face against her babysitter’s lap and now they came. All those pent-up tears she hadn’t been able to shed since that awful day with Haymitch on the train station.

Mrs. Quinlan’s face was taut as a string.

”There now,” she murmured and stroked Effie’s hair. ”You will be alright. It’s going to be just fine.”

Effie soaked Mrs. Quinlan’s skirt with her sobs and it was like she was little again.

She’d been four or five and accidentally knocked over a vase. Everything in Mrs. Quinlan’s apartment was either ancient or valuable or both and little Effie stared in horror at the broken pierces. Finally she ran off and hid.

For the next half-hour Mrs. Quinlan had to go from room to room and from closet to closet, peer inside the cupboards and behind every thick curtain, calling her name. When she finally found her in the laundry basket Effie was so terror-struck she burst in to a wail of tears.

But Mrs. Q just scoped her up, pulled a dirty child sock off the side of her dress and carried her into the living room. With her skinny arms linked around Mrs. Q’s neck Effie sniveled and whimpered the entire time, her little body racked with sobs.

Mrs. Q. wrapped her in one of her own shawls that smelled of perfume and to the rhythm of the creaky old rocking chair, she hummed her to sleep with a Capitol lullaby.

She had never felt so safe.

“Why don’t you take a shower, Euphemia,” Mrs. Quinlan said once Effie’s sobs had subsided a little. She patted her hand between her own icy ones. “And then you and I will have a cup of nice, hot tea.”

“Oh, that is awfully sweet, mrs. Q, but I think I rather,” she started to object but Mrs. Quinlan only waved a finger in the air.

“It will do you some good,” she said. “Tea at my place, four o’clock.”

Effie had avoided Mrs. Quinlan’s flat for the past almost two years. She had spent a great deal of her childhood in the company of her landlady when mother and father couldn’t or wouldn’t take their daughter with them to one of their events.

But these days there was only one subject Mrs. Q wanted to discuss when they met and Effie found herself coming up with excuses. Because it didn’t matter how many times she tried to change the subject, Mrs. Q always steered the conversation back on the same sole topic.

Haymitch Abernathy.

Effie never talked about her and Haymitch’s relationship. Not with Mrs. Q or anyone else. But living just across the road, Mrs. Quinlan seemed to know everything anyway.

She didn’t approve. She never liked the gruff and unrefined victor of District 12 and nothing could change her mind.

She just didn’t understand. How could she? No one in the Capitol did.

“How far along are you?” she asked and poured them tea from the plump china pot. Effie tried to breathe through her nose. Just thinking about ingesting something made her queasy.

“Nine weeks.”

“Have you told him yet? Are you sure it’s his?”

“Mrs. Quinlan,” said Effie tiredly. “We’ve been through this. I’m sorry, but it’s private and really no one else’s business.”

“So, I take that as a yes,” she said mildly.

Exhausted, Effie’s eyes wandered longingly to the snow-specked window beyond Mrs. Q.

“He should have taken precautions,” the old woman said. “The situation he puts you in.”

”It wasn’t his fault,” said Effie. ”It just… happened.”

Mrs. Quinlan poured cream into her cup but Effie didn’t touch it. All she really wanted was to lie down.

There were cookies rounded up on the silvery cake stand. The frosting wasn’t like Peeta’s. Not nearly as nice but looking at them only reminded her of those lazy days in District 12 and Haymitch, teasing her for having such a sweet-tooth.

”Drink now,” said Mrs. Quinlan. “Add a little honey. Or would you rather I put some ginger in? It helps with the nausea.”

“No, it’s OK.”

Effie lifted the cup just to humor her. She was about to take a sip when the warm scent curled into her nose. A crease appeared between her eyebrows.

Mrs. Quinlan didn’t like surprises. Her routines had been virtually unchanged for the past decades. She washed her hands with the same kind of rose soap, combed her hair with the ivory comb that had survived two wars and she always drank jasmine tea.

This wasn’t jasmine tea. Effie should know. After all those tea parties at this very table, the flowery aroma was forever ingrained in her memory. She took another tentative sniff of the strange and unfamiliar fragrance.

It had a faint minty quality but not quite like the mint tea in District 12. She doubted she ever had it in the Capitol either. And yet the smell tugged at her, tried to tell her something.

Her eyes flitted to Mrs. Quinlan. The old woman stirred her own cup in slow, precise circles. The silver spoon rasped the bottom of the china. A cup she had yet to touch.

And a wave of dread flushed Effie’s face when the name surfaced.

”It’s pennyroyal.”

Mrs. Quinlan looked her in the eye. Her face was as hard and unyielding as the gems in her cheeks.

”You should never have let him into your bed.”

The beverage scalded Effie’s hands when she pushed back from the table. She stared at Mrs. Quinlan, eyes wide in terror.

”It’s for your own good, Euphemia. Nobody ever needs to know. It will be like it never happened.”

Effie didn’t stay to hear the rest. She fled the room, didn’t bother with her coat just bolted for the door. Her hands shook so badly she couldn’t work the locks and one terrible moment she thought herself trapped.

Footsteps approached or she imagined they did and a shriek escaped her lips. Then the door flew open and she staggered out into the sleet.

Blood pounded her ears as she locked her front door, fled into her bedroom and locked that door as well. She was shaking all over and slumped rather than sat down on the bed, hand clamped over her mouth.

I didn’t drink it. I never drank it.

Her vision was so blurred it took her three efforts to dial the right number. Her hand found her tummy and she tried to draw slow, deep breaths to calm the erratic beating of her heart.

”It’s OK,” she whispered to the unborn baby in her belly. ”It’s OK. You’re OK.”

So many signals just came and went, her hopes faltered with each one. Until,

“What?”

A sob slipped between her lips at the sound of his voice. She couldn’t help it. Her palm remained against her bump that wasn’t even a bump yet. Just a slight swelling beneath her dress. It made her feel stronger.

”Haymitch?” She fought to keep her voice steady. ”Haymitch, it’s me.”

“Ah, there she is,” he said with the nasty edge that sometimes crept into his voice when he drank, especially now under these circumstances. “Long time no princess. What can you want?”

“I’m sorry. I know I should have called you a long time ago.”

“Oh, I remember that voice. Effs Trinket needs a shoulder to cry on, huh? So she goes to good ol’ Haymitch. Course.” She heard him take a swig from a bottle. “It’s too bad mine’re all the way down here, then. Both of ‘em.”

“I can take the train.” Tears threatened to spill over her lashes but she held them back. Didn’t want to break down in to a blubbering mess. ”If I go now I ought to be…”

“Here in a day. Yeah. And I’m supposed to just welcome you with open arms?”

“Haymitch…”

“That’s my name.”

“I really must speak to you. It’s im…”

“What for?” he cut her off. “I’m a dead-end drunk, remember?”

“I’ve never called…”

“No, that’s right. Your words were much fancier.”

A wave of despair rose up within Effie. It was like a physical pain.

“I know you’re angry,” she said. ”This is not easy for me either but…”

“I’m fine, sweetheart. Just fine. Can’t ruin a life that’s already ruined, right? I s’pose you want all your crap back? Yeah, the kids have it. They think you’re gonna come back, you know. ‘When hell freezes over’, am I right? But you know Peeta. I’ll just tell ‘em to send it over straight away so you never have to set your foot here ever again. Great, huh?”

“You left me, Haymitch!” Effie cried and her voice broke. “I didn’t want you to go! I didn’t want it to end!”

“Could’ve fooled me.” He twisted the top of another bottle. “And don’t you worry your pretty head, sweetheart. You’ll get over it. Trust me. Soon you’re gonna find some nice, wholesome guy who does exactly what he’s told. It’ll be all: ‘Yes, Euphemia. No, Euphemia. Whatever you say, Eu…’”

“Don’t call me that!” she cried at the sound of Mrs. Quinlan’s name for her. “Haymitch, please!” She didn’t care that she begged now, hand clutched against her stomach like she could somehow protect it that way. ”Mrs. Q, she… she tried to… I need you! If you care about me at all…”

“Oh, I cared about you,” Haymitch said. “A lot. More than a lot. Should’ve fucking known better. So why don’t you call Plutarch or Octavia or any other of your friends and just leave me alone. Cause I owe you nothing. Nothing at all.”

Tears rolled down Effie’s face and she abandoned all efforts to try and stop them.

“I’m so stupid.”

“Have a wonderful life, Eff. I’m sure you’re gonna be deliriously happy.”

And she was left with just the flat audio tone.

Author’s note: I don’t know who I feel the most sorry for. Haymitch or Effie. How about you? And hayffie twins are on the way!

What did you think of Mathilda Quinlan? I face claim Geraldine Chaplin for her, the way she looked when she played Aurora in “The Orphanage”.

#hayffie #everlark #haymitch x effie #taste of strawberries fanfic #thg #post-mockingjay #haymitch abernathy #effie trinket #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #fanfiction #myfanfiction #district 12 #the capitol

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