#maybe????? I do need to get back into writing haha
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Error 404: (Self-Aware!AU, Sylus Edition) – Pt. 3
Summary: A LADS self-aware!AU featuring Sylus and a (now skeptical!) player. That’s it, that’s the plot. A/N: I’ve already outlined the entire thing–now it’s just a matter of writing it, so don’t worry! Even if some chapters take me longer to update, I’m gonna finish this one way or another. Promise. *fingers crossed* Tags: player!reader x sylus, fem!reader x sylus, reader x lads, self-aware!au, strong language, reader thinks she’s losing her marbles because of a certain someone
Pt. 1 - Pt. 2 - Pt. 3
“Alright—okay, don’t be stupid,” You chant to yourself as you pace restlessly from the kitchen area of your studio, to the coffee table where you’ve set your phone lying facedown. “Just open the damn thing.”
You’ve just arrived back at the condo a little past seven PM after a, frankly, productive–if not slightly distracted–day of running errands. You’re home, and you haven’t even got to unpacking the two paper bags (and a box) worth of groceries that were all but thrown carelessly on the kitchen counter, and already, you’re back to stressing over all the weird shit that's been happening lately.
Throughout the afternoon, you tried your hardest to resist the urge to check your phone, especially whenever you see the screen light up–whether it was in your hand or stashed away in your half-zipped fanny pack.
It’s at the most random times too, but always when you act on your unfortunate tendency to monologue your thoughts out loud.
Sure, it could just be some random push app notifications. Text messages from the few people that hit you up on the weekends–invitations to hang out, maybe. A few newsletters you forgot to unsubscribe from, if you’re unlucky.
But you think the timing’s far too deliberate to be purely coincidental.
“Do I get a dozen eggs or just half? What do I even need a dozen for?” (Phone vibrates)
“Oh, hey, Indomie’s on sale if you buy in bulk. How much for a box?” (Screen flashes. Twice.)
“Who the hell is holding up the line, damn–oh, it’s an old lady. Better hurry the fuck up, grandma.” (Screen flashes) “...Sorry! I didn’t mean that.”
“Ughhh… my tummy hurty…” (Phone vibrates) “What—”
“Everything’s perfectly normal. Just your average, sunny Saturday! You are an independent, capable adult… who’s fucking losing it.” (Screen flashes–after a minute interval)
Of course, you have an inkling as to what’s–or who’s–blowing your phone up; in fact, he’s never left your mind since this morning.
So presently, you’re in the middle of having a small existential crisis over what that means, for you and your sanity. No big deal.
You puff out your cheeks for a couple of seconds before letting out a deep breath. Don’t be a pussy. I’m sure there’s a logical explanation to all of this. You’re–you’re not crazy.
Landing heavily down in front of the low table, you finally grab your phone, hand shaking with the teensiest amount of trepidation. Not giving yourself any more time to think and second-guess, you flip it over, switching it back to Ring mode as you swipe up to see—
—a barrage of notifications; one popping up after another.
Some of them are what you’ve expected: plain, old push notifications from banking apps, others from varying socials. There’s one from your mom. A reminder to email her the flight tickets you still haven’t gotten around to booking yet.
And. Six banner notifications from the game. From… from–him. It’s something you’ve already braced yourself for. It doesn’t prepare you, however, for what they actually said.
A knot grows in your chest, spreading rapidly like slithering twine as your mind tries, and somewhat fails, to make sense of what your eyes are seeing.
Grab a dozen, sweetie. It won’t add much to the total cost, and you need that protein every morning. Cereal’s not gonna cut it.
You really ought to lessen your sodium intake, kitten. (and) Do NOT get the box. Stop.
Haha. A feisty one, aren’t you?
Mmm, poor baby.
I– we can talk about this later when you get home.
Each notification contains a completely unique dialogue you’ve never seen before. A play-by-play commentary specifically in response to you— to your personal remarks from earlier, spoken out loud— that there is absolutely no way anyone could still pass it off as simply being system-generated.
A faint ringing echoes in your ears as you slowly draw back, putting some distance between the onslaught of text and… you. You can’t seem to tear your gaze away from the screen, though. Even if the back of your head bumps against the seat edge of the sofa behind you from how far you’ve already leaned back.
Blinking in stunned silence, the only thing you could croak out is a strained “what the fuuuck.”
... Ping!
Still mustering the courage to face me? Don’t keep me in suspense, darling.
The sudden message jolts you back to reality. You suck in a deep breath.
… Despite everything, you can’t help but find his nonchalant response to your gradual spiral into hysterics–because he knows–a little amusing. Also rude. But mostly funny.
(It’s also probably just your brain’s last-ditch effort to find some semblance of control, but whatever.)
At this point, you know that you’re merely delaying the inevitable. Swallowing, you press on one of Sylus’ messages and it immediately boots up the game.
Instead of soothing your nerves like it usually does, the orchestral background music from the loading screen puts you more on edge; your anxiety builds up to a crescendo, harmonious to the heralding of what you know will undoubtedly change the trajectory of your life.
Dramatic, but true.
48%... 82%... 98%...
There’s a hollow drop in your stomach when the screen–finally–reveals the familiar sight of the café. The golden ambient light enters your field of vision for a split second before your eyes flit reflexively to the man standing in the middle of the screen, whose presence commandeered your full attention.
He’s wearing his motorcycle jacket–the black one with the red and white thorn(?) accents, paired along the pair of leather pants with the iconic double zipper. Aside from the black zircon studs, he’s not wearing anything out of the ordinary. Nothing is looking out of the ordinary, actually.
Holding your breath, you wait for the other shoe to drop.
“Are you waiting for me to say hello? Then–” Sylus muses with an amused lilt to his voice, sauntering closer to flick “my” forehead. There’s a beat before he continues: “That’s my way of saying hello.”
… Huh?
That’s—this isn’t how it’s supposed to go. You… you don’t know what you were expecting, but this wasn’t it.
The man in front of you doesn’t look any different from how he usually does; the way that his… character animation (Should you call it that? It doesn’t seem right, given the circumstance, but you don’t know how best to describe anything anymore) flows is so–-so infuriatingly… normal. As if it’s just like any other day that you’ve logged in the game.
Where did the sentience go? Why is he reciting lines he’s programmed to say? None of it adds up.
Your mouth tries to form words, but nothing comes out. With wide eyes, you helplessly gape at him. Speechless. For a moment, you feel like you’ve actually gone mad.
A small “what’s happening?” slips past your lips. Your eyes dart across his face, trying to analyze every microexpression, any hint of sentience on him–in his eyes, in his movements.
You find none.
Mechanically, you exit the game.
“What the actual fuck?” You whisper-shout at nothing in particular, and maybe to the biggest cause of your current disconcertion; one who you thought… Who you were sure was—
-
-
Fuck it. It’s time to put your detective skills to work.
#love and deepspace#lads#lnds#love and deepspace sylus#lads sylus#lnds sylus#sylus x reader#sylus x you#lads x you#lads x reader#love and deepspace fic#sylus qin
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do you write for oliver aiku? :3
-yep anon!! feel free to send in more requests!
car sex w Oliver Aiku
afab! reader
context- you just got stood up at a date, planned by anri of course. you’re sad, upset, kicking the bed, but then… you get a text.
your ex fling, Oliver Aiku
a/n- ignore how trash my writing has been… sorry
warnings- car sex, riding, a lil cunilingus and my horrible “fluff” or “angst” I DIDNT DO A PROOFREAD
its 10:38 pm
you’re laying in your bed, sighing about some random guy who stood you up! you are never trusting anri again, who would’ve known she was horrible at choosing blind dates?
you’re just doomscrolling now, liking and commenting on every somewhat cute guy.
“... this is so STUPID!”
you push your head in your pillows, swinging your legs around. maybe you’ll be alone for the rest of your life!
bzzt!
“please! please tell me that’s a like back!”
you rush to pick up your phone, a text from oliver. your ex-fling..
“you up?” -10:40 pm
oh. it’s this guy again! some stupid strong idiot with some really good dick! i mean you did sleep with him enough… for the number to be in the double digits.
whatever, you’re done with guys! they’re nothing but stupid-
bzzt!
he double texted?! what the fu- you rush to open the chat again.
“c’mon now, don’t leave me on read.” -10:43 pm
okay.. no way he just double texted! that means he definitely wants to fuck right now! wait what are you thinking girl? just one last night stand? your fingers start flying on the screen typing the most perfectly written text message back!
“haha yeah heyy” -10:44 pm
did you come off too strong?! whatever! he just wants to fuck and you don’t mind that!
“come outside cutie” -10:44 pm
wait. HES OUTSIDE?!
you quickly head out to your window, oh my god! he’s actually outside?! you quickly brush your hair and clean yourself up before you rush out the door.
“hey there!”
wait did you even reapply lipstick? did you just forget your phone? you’re so flustered and nervous about a guy you’ve fucked so many times already.
“you were ready for this?”
he looks up and down at you, a cute elegant blue dress. it’s not too revealing, but it makes you look gorgeous!
“oh! well.. my date stood me up earlier..”
you pause, taking a deep breath in.
“whatever.. he was really shitty anyway”
you feel aiku pull you into his arms, one of his hands pressing onto your back pulling you closer.
“ooh! aiku.. i don’t think this.. this is appropriate-“
he quickly shuts you up with a kiss, his other hand holding your head, keep you locked into the kiss. you can’t help but reciprocate the kiss back.
he only lets go after you’re left panting. he watches your eyes, you feel nervous. but then he speaks again.
“i want you back.”
he pauses, his hold on your back moving lower.
“i don’t want to keep just fucking like this.. i want you”
he pauses again, this time he looks through you. you start to sweat a little, no freaking way! no way he just said that!
“i need you, i can’t let some other guy have you for himself.”
is he for real? no way! he has to be lying right?
“im not lying sweetheart, you are the missing piece in my life”
he understood you, he understands you. you feel a real.. genuine connection with aiku, you’ve never felt any spark or connection with any guy.
“so please? will you be my girlfriend?”
you snap back into reality, quickly processing what he just said. maybe you’ll give him a chance.
“a-ah.. shit!”
you grip on to aiku’s shoulders tightly, he just keeps thrusting into you! the comfy leather seats are stained with a mix of your juices.
“fuuuckk… you’re so good to me baby..”
you press your head into his neck, peppering small kisses along his collarbone.
“hah-ha.. is this your way of thanking me?”
you can’t help but smile at his words, his hands tangle into your hair pulling you closer.
“you’re so warm y’know?”
he slowly moves your hands to your hips, keeping you bouncing on his shaft.
“soo.. glad that date stood you up”
he softly pecks a kiss to your cheek, moving down to your neck. you can barely respond, he’s just wayy too deep inside you! his hand moves to your stomach pressing on the bulge.
“just.. too big for you hm, your cunt is just begging for me right now…”
he laughs softly squeezing your hips, lifting your hips up again.
“yeah.. you’re too b-!“
your insides are immediately rearranged with one thrust.
“ahh.. fuckk..”
you look up at him, holding onto his biceps.
“i- i want more aiku..”
in a few seconds, oliver presses your back against the car seat. his hands keeping your legs pressed up to your chest. he quickly kisses your clit, licking up your juices.
“let’s do more then.. shall we?”
he lines himself against you, slowly teasing you with his tip. thrusting fully inside you when you start whining about how empty your stomach feels without, his finger pressing on the bulge on your stomach.
its gonna be a lonnnggg night for you two huh?
a/n- can you tell when i got bored of writing lololol
#blue lock#blue lock smut#blue lock x you#blue lock x reader#blue lock oliver#oliver aiku#oliver aiku smut
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Also, I just saw you’re 23, I am too! It’s rough out here. Another idea: any characters, what’s it like being 23? Where are they at this point? I feel like hq shows that as being sooo grown up but like I’m just a big teenager right?? Idk just rambling
being 23 is so rough sometimes lmfao. i've got friends from high school getting married and friends from college having early life crises. i'm working full time and living alone but tbh mostly feel like i'm playing at house rn more than i am living on my own. whatever. it's fine. early 20s is just a silly time of life. anyways i don't have a fic for u but i Do have a headcanon list.
in no particular order, haikyuu characters as stupid things i've done in my early twenties:
atsumu: having a brother who is a chef does not prevent him from forgetting to take the cheese packet out of the mac and cheese box and dumping that into boiling water with the pasta.
udai: does not remember the last time he ate a vegetable.
oikawa: friends all went to a party without him and his coping method was getting so so so wasted on white rum and falling asleep on the living room carpet immediately after giving another friend a tarot card reading saying their breakup is imminent (to be fair, it was. but it was still kinda rude).
iwaizumi: after class, was led to a private stairwell by a friend, jokes "haha are you taking me to a hidden location to kill me." and then received a love confession. proceeded to say "uh. i'll think about it." then did finger guns. and said "im just gonna. go" and then fucking. ran. like not exaggerating, ran.
kageyama: went on a date. did Not At All Know it was a date, despite the very very obvious flirting. yes this was the same person as in the previous bullet point. don't look at me like that.
akaashi: took a 100 level class senior year and did not pay attention to a single lecture. instead wrote thousands of words of fanfiction in the classroom every day.
atsumu (again): another cooking one. i just think he'd be a terrible cook. sorry. anyways. "it's been 20 min, why isn't this scallion pancake im pan frying cooking yet?" (<- did not turn on the stove burner.)
yachi: hm the light in this room doesn't work. guess i'll just learn to see in the dark instead of inconveniencing anyone by asking to fix it.
akaashi (again): completely fell in love at first sight, but fast forward five months and it actually somehow worked out? however the five months were filled with the most insufferable pining possible, which could have been resolved so so so easily. also started talking about marriage, like, six months in.
bokuto: got sad. went out into a raging snowstorm in socks and no jacket. laid down in the snow for a long time. somehow, miraculously, didn't get a cold afterwards?
akaashi and/or yachi: changed majors and career paths because a pretty upperclassman asked them to. (i am very happy in my chosen path but jesus christ THAT was why i did it?)
hinata: flew from coast to coast of the country, then drove halfway back to the midwest in the span of three days. started a new job on the fourth day. didn't sign a lease on an apartment until the fifth day.
semi: skipped a day of work to drive four hours there and four hours back for a fall out boy concert. totally worth it but driving at 4am after a concert wasn’t the smartest thing ever to be done.
kuroo: started reading homestuck in the year of our lord 2024. this is an attempt to remain in contact with long distance friendships (by doing a bookclub) but jesus fucking christ dude.
ok this is getting too long and i needed to be ready for work, like 15 min ago lol. maybe i'll write more of these later, but i hope you enjoy these and my silly disasters are a little comforting :)
#ask#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#hq!!#im not tagging all those characters lmfao#but anyways. it's been an eventful three years.#i hope you enjoy and that your 20s are going okay<3
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fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
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HELL WEEK IS OVER HOLY SHIT HAHAHAHHAHAA I LIIIIIIVE
#PUT UR PANTS BACK ON BABE#UNDERTOW CH 6 COMING TO U AT STARTLING SPEED#OH NO WHYS IT GETTING SO CLOSE#OH GOD RUN#I AM GOD#peony speaks#legit almost died#i was getting only 1-2 hours of “sleep” per night#and was drinking so much caffeine that i was getting seriously concerned#and also still had to go to work on the weekend#it was so ass#but hey i actually managed to finish everything#on time too!#now that everythings out of the way i can finally write again#also i somehow gained 2 more betas#why do i have 5 betas#who the hell needs 5 betas#actually 1 of them only leaves stuff like “haha” or “lol”#so maybe only 4 betas#ily maya#also im losing followers on twitter bc i keep talking about poop#its keeping me up at night
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It’s not going away, so get used to it! (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#Helix#ZEX#DAX#Dexter Favin#Stepping back a bit! I'd been ignoring my concept art page lol#I wasn't sure if I'd actually finish any of them but some are silly and fun and I like them! So yes! Here they are!#ZEX is so empathetic to his human body <3 It's sweet! He wants his own body for lots of reason but that's among them! It's cute!!#It really is the worst situation for everyone :') Max needs his body back and ZEX doesn't want it and Dexter and DAX and - The Whole Thing!#DAX on the other hand lol#Neutrality to humans + being a bit self-sacrificing to the benefit of his Admiral = ???#DAX no (lol)#I imagine a Dexter wake-up (if he believed anything that happened to DAX Actually happened which - unlikely) he'd at least be like#''Would I really die for Max?? Like /that/ hard???'' Haha#I really like him using ''what the hell'' like - maybe more than would be considered normal lol#I still have that Vargas brainrot of who capitalizes deities and who doesn't - Dex does and Max doesn't <3#And ZEX does but is agnostic(?) - I'm fascinated by the religiousity! Cultural influence and understanding of self!!!#There have been So many times that I have wanted to write ''What the [expletive]'' or ''What on Earth'' but like - this is DAX!#Not Dexter! Not a human!#He wouldn't use those turns of phrase but he has the Energy of those sayings so what do fill in#I need a glossary of VUX swears#Hehe - VUX swear jar#Getting used to that new center of gravity! :D I imagine Dex as being shorter than DAX and Max is even shorter than /him/ so ♪#Last one was still technically a concept sketch but actually from an initial-writings so not at the institute but yes still Dex-DAX hehe#Where could he be! Who could he see! I wonder ♫
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redownloaded an old art program
#specifically its tayasui memopad…#sketches was like borderline unusable last i redownloaded it#which was like.. oct last year#maybe its gotten better but i dont feel like bothering with it anymore haha#memopad i never used much aside from little scribble doodles (id make a scribble and try to turn it into something)#but its changed a lot since i last used it.. which was like four years ago so i cant be too surprised i guess XD#its still pretty jank but in a more manageable way . i missed rhe sketches brushes theyre very lovely#sorry for all the rambling haha#ive been feeling really shitty lately and have barely been able to draw it feels like#a lot of what i have made ive had to really.. force myself to get out. and i havent been as satisfied with it as id like to br#this is kind of janky still but i like it and i had fun making it#everytime i draw these two its exactly the same cuz i have to remind myself what their designs even were everytime >_<‘’#hopefully i do some more stuff today. its already getting late but im feeling a little better#getting back into the swing of things or whatever#i thought someone on af was ghosting me or whatever but turns out they were just . busy. ( <- figures i need to stop assuming haha) and#they also made this amazing revenge im absolutely in love with its so cute#really made my day =)#scribbles#furry tag#good god i write way too much in these#sorry#anyways#queueing this to post again (its the 14th as im writing this) i feel like that worked alright for me last time#im kinda making this post impulsively i am. constantly going back nd forth on whether i even like posting my art nowadays#oh well#yeah queue i wanna know#mother series#<- i forgot to tag that . for blog organization mostly these r just#nothing burger npcs barely anyone cares abt (nintens sisters lol)
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Spotify prompt! Knuckles and tails, an 19 :)
Oh hoho! You managed to land FightSong by EVE (<- YouTube link), a song that by all rights shoulda been #2 (<- I refuse to pay Spotify money).
Hmm…. It’s been a while since I’ve done anything with Super Sonic Speed, but I always did intend to write follow-ups…
.•.•.•.
The city is unbelievably loud. They’re in what Sonic had called a shopping district, and it’s apparently very popular. Knuckles would kind of like to go home, a lot, actually, but Tails is flirting from one shop to another and he doesn’t have it in him to shut the kid down. Sonic is somewhere on the periphery of their little group— he and Tails had bonded, thick as thieves, and Knuckles— well, he tolerated the guy.
Tails gasps like he’s seeing the sun rise for the first time, excited enough that he’s lifting off the ground. Knuckles ambles over, grabs him by the ankle, and pulls him back down. He’s looking at some sort of… thing. Knuckles can’t make heads or tails of it, but it’s definitely saying something to Tails.
Hmm. He is, at least, familiar with the idea of shops. Chao liked to set them up, sometimes, selling fruit or handmade crafts for rings, but Knuckles has no idea if their idea of currency and everyone else’s aligns. Would the shopkeep accept a fruit? Most chao did. It isn’t like rings are a problem, so…
Knuckles turns, seeking out Sonic in the crowd. There he is— stiff as anything, glancing frantically back and forth between Knuckles and some other hedgehog, a pink one. One of his friends, maybe? They look irritated, maybe not. Knuckles steps away from Tails, invites himself into their conversation.
“and you just RAN OFF—“ the hedgehog is shouting. Sonic cracks his mouth open, a faint wheeze escaping.
“Hey,” Knuckles says.
“—do you have ANY IDEA how WORRIED I was—“
This looks like a battle Sonic is better off fighting on his own. Still, Knuckles needs his question answered. “Hey,” he repeats, slightly louder.
“—I mean, I knew you were alright because my cards said so, but—“
“Hey Knuckles,” Sonic manages to crack out, “this is Amy.”
Amy tilts her head at him, and then gives him a sharp, discerning once-over. “Are you one of his other friends?” She asks.
“Yeah, sure,” Knuckles says, and then “do rings work as currency down here?”
She blinks at him, as if this is a weird thing to ask. “Yes?” She says.
“Okay,” Knuckles says, nodding, “try not to scare him too bad.”
Any lingering confusion evaporates, and she whirls around to find Sonic trying to sneak away. “AGAIN!” she shouts, full of conviction, and Knuckles makes his way back to where he left Tails. He isn’t pressed up against the glass anymore, so Knuckles steps into the store. Yeah, there he is. Hovering— literally— over the same display.
Knuckles takes a moment to properly observe, rooting around for the terms Tails would use, in an attempt to ensure he gets the right thing. There’s a looping track, and a few other gadgets on the sides. A switch, one of them looks like, and some barricade, and a few blinking lights. On the track itself is a… sideways cylinder, set on wheels, connected to a few boxes, puffing out smoke— or steam, maybe. Tails is absorbed enough in watching it chug along that he doesn’t even realize Knuckles is standing right next to him. Knuckles’ll just have to make sure he comes up for air, occasionally.
He casts about the rest of the store, vaguely lost. There are a lot of displays, and a lot of colourful boxes. Knuckles picks up one, flips it over, and realizes swiftly he is out of his depth. He brings the box over to Tails, handing it to him. Tails holds onto it for a full few seconds, watching with bated breath as the cylinder switches tracks, before he looks down. His fur all along his spine puffs up, and he turns to look at Knuckles so fast he has to wonder if Sonic hasn’t started to rub off on him in more ways than one. That’s the right box, for sure.
“Really?” Tails asks, voice breathy with excitement, and Knuckles ruffles his fur instinctually.
“‘Course.”
Maybe the shopping district isn’t that bad.
#eggthew#prompt fill#askbox#uhhh so. I kind of barely followed fightsong at all I CAN EXPLAIN#went off the visuals instead of the lyrics. two people running around in city. ooh I could do knuckles protecting tails from Eggman in some#kind of egg city! ah hang on there’s the eggperial city arc in idw and I haven’t read that yet. so I’m not confident in portraying it. hmmm#I could do a Different egg city… man Knuckles and Tails. what a great pair. I really enjoyed writing them in super sonic speed. hey! I could#do super sonic speed’s Knuckles’s first time in a city! maybe he gets kind of freaked out? escape from the city haha#well tails would be familiar with cities. and sonic would be there ofc but I’ll shuffle him off to the side so he doesn’t hog the spotlight#I could do tails looking at a shop! yeah! and knuckles needs to ask how currency works but sonic is… busy? hmm. oh! a city!!!! amy lives in#a city!! she runs into sonic! which keeps him from coming back over with knuckles. I always did mean to write her reunion with sonic.#that’ll be nice to do. alright. perfect. it’s all working out. get to the final few lines. think ‘hey how did I end up with this anyway.’#pulse of adrenaline as my brain goes OH YEAH FIGHTSONG. ach.#I’m happy w this though :)#knuckles: I Tolerate sonic. at best.#sonic: hey I am in a vaguely uncomfortable situation#knuckles *rolling up metaphorical sleeves*: do I need to kick ass#Amy making a mental note: sonic apparently befriending a space alien okay okay cool#they meet up for ice cream. knuckles is inflicted with curse of immediate brainfreeze. tails is So Excited about his new model train set#within a week he mods it to A) be strong enough to pull the Master Emerald and B) be armed.
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They should invent a new type of torture called being hyperfixated on something nobody you know is particularly interested in
#AAAUGHHGHHGHHHHHHHH#It's Detroit. Game. Video game#But like VERY SPECIFICALLY this au I made for a few characters of mine#I started. Like officially. This au back in 2018 and I just couldn't get the dynamic to work#One of the three (Avry) didn't have anything to do and I didn't know what to do with her backstory#The other two (Calem and Kara. Haha) didn't have enough personality to sustain the stories I wanted for em#And now#Six (SIX?????) years later and a fuckton of actual writing on their actual story. I actually know what's going on with em and#My brain's latched onto it like a male anglerfish onto. A female anglerfish. Right on there#AND NOBODY I KNOW. REALLY CARES#WHICH ISN'T THEIR FAULT I'M JUST COMBUSTING#i am cringe but I am free#Trying so hard to get over this MASSIVE bout of anxiety I've had about posting online for the last few years#so iI'm trying to talk about my interests again! Maybe posting some art!#I need to make an art account I think. Like just FOR art#Maybe do commissions. Maybe#ANYWAYS hope everyone's having a nice day!!!#shitpost#this is a shitpost#hyperfixation#actually adhd
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HOLD ON WAIT UP HOLD THE PHONE
I KNOW I WAS GONE FOR A FEW MONTHS THERE BUT HAS BLUE LIKE DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME ALWAYS BEEN A PART OF A SERIES OR IS THAT A NEW DEVELOPMENT???
I FEEL LIKE ITS CHRISTMAS ALL OVER AGAIN FUCK Y E A H
Okay so
I...
have been cooking
by which I mean illusions of grandeur and
schemes
And I have not been forthcoming lol Everyone kind of disappeared all at the same time so I kind of stopped talking about what I'm doing but I have been biding my time, quietly putting mechanisms into motion and plotting and occasionally cackling over my cauldron.
I finished the first draft of Blue like don't forget about me and didn't like it so I cut out all the sci-fi fantasy stuff (bye bye aliens farewell superpowers) and in November wrote a new first draft that's all contemporary romance babeee and I'm so in love with it I'm turning it into a little 3-part (possibly 4 if I can't control myself) series.
The original childhood years have been split off into a prequel novella called Red like my bleeding heart in your hand. Then Blue like don't forget about me will take place 20 years later. Nash works at Cherished Hope Nursing Home
“And what is it you do? At the nursing home, I mean.” I wipe shit off of old people. And Teddy’s a hockey player. What’s Luke, an underwear model? He shouldn’t have come.
Teddy comes back to town for a funeral and
Teddy looks at him for the first time in twenty years and every ounce of warmth leaves his expression. Message received. He should not have come.
OKAY SO AND THEN the next book will be Jo's POV and is called Violet like these delights. and MAYBE there will be a 4th from Luke's POV bc he gets to live this time by the grace of god (me) but it'll depend on how Violet goes (its current state is mostly vibes and a single overarching theme so, stand by).
Red needs a clean-up round of edits to snip out the few little threads that connected it to OG blue. And rewritten blue is basically done. I've done the major revisions and am about to start line edits and after those are done I'm sending it out to beta readers (lmk if you're interested).
There are concise actual summaries in my pinned post btw lol
WHICH REMINDS ME
The series title is Wildflowers of Deliverance. Which I'm extremely proud of. Did you notice did you notice how each title incorporates a wildflower did you did you? and the town they grew up in where Nash and Teddy first met is called Deliverance!!! It's okay I know I'm a genius.
And this brings us to the meal okay? because like I said I've been Cooking™ quietly but steadily for a few months now. ANd what have I been cooking? PLOTS and PLANS
I've decided on a pen name: Sarah B. Elisa
I've created a(nother) side blog for it that will be exclusively centered on my og writing and geared more toward readers rather than writers like this blog is: @sarahbe-writing
I'm going to create a website (as soon as I convince myself to spend money)
and a newsletter (as soon as I convince myself to spend money and do work)
I'm still waffling between trad publishing and DIY. I really like all my hats and it would be a shame to have to share them but oh my god I don't want to do all the marketing but trad pub seems hit or miss on how well they market you so I might get half of my hats taken away and still have to do the marketing bullshit UGH
anyway
OH YEAH and the OG draft I wrote for Blue? I'm going to spin it back to its OG OG roots [parkner, naturally--Return of The childhood friends to estranged almost lovers to super-powered rivals to reluctant allies to friends to lovers finally wip!!! AKA: We Were Gods (we were kids)] and that will fix all the things that went wrong and I didn't like 😌 so it's basically like double Christmas I think
#i have been#a tad reluctant to use the tag list#since because I scrapped the whole plot and genre and started over#feels like a teensie bit of a betrayal?#so idk i think i need to make a post (way fucking shorter than this one) and tag everyone and see who still wants to be tagged in stuff?#or maybe im close enough to the finish line i shouldn't do tag list stuff anymore? I'm kind of wary of oversharing bc#i totally did before#and the word count is smaller now#and there aren't like Plot Twists#it's a romance we all know how this is gonna end#so idk that's mostly why i've been quiet like haha what should i say and to who?#But anyway this weekend I'm going to get my shit together and put up some posts and get the ball rolling again#share some excerpts#get people excited#put out a call for beta and sensitivity readers#you know. work lol#also i missed you and i'm glad you're back <3333#my notes were sooooo quiet lol#and i don't just mean on my writing stuff i love seeing all of your tags in my activity like Yay that's my friend!! And they're yellin!!!#we love to see it <3#anyway#:)
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Heyyy just read through CETBWA and loved it all over again! No rush but any word on when there might be a chapter 21? 👀
hey!! thanks, i'm very glad you enjoyed it and continue to enjoy it, that makes me really happy ☺️
chap 21 is happening, just very slowly. i'm trying to focus on getting a fic out for the @/dpxdcbigbang before i get back into cetbwa properly, but i've been dabbling here and there. honestly probably won't happen until september tho lol sorry
#idk we might get it in august#i should have the month of july to work on it and it's already halfway done so maybe#idk we'll see#it might not happen - the big black dog has bit me hard and i have the biggest case of the morbs#i'm only still writing because of the lovely extension for the bang fic otherwise i would be screwed#we'll see we'll see idk#cetbwa#feel so guilty everytime i get an 'update? soon please now?' comment and like.... fuck#i'm so tired haha#it's happening i promise#i just need some time to screw my head on straight and get back in the groove#i have plans for the rest of the fic so it's definitely not abandoned - not many chapters left ahhh!!!!#scary thoughts#that might be another reason why it's taking a bit longer... i want to do the ending justice#but that's at least four or five chapters down the line#there's time... there's time#thank you for the ask and again i'm really glad you're enjoying it still#really did uplift me#thank you#did also cry a bit after getting this but that's just me rn lol#thanks again#i'm gonna try and write ig haha
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Finally archived all my old headcanons, and am gonna go ahead and clear the good old Tumblr out! Feel free to take a look at them if you'd like, anyone with the link should be able to view it.
#finally getting rolling guys#it took a hot minute but#you know how it is#now I just gotta get back to writing#I really need some prompts TwT#But then again I have really old ones#maybe I should make a poll of the ones#know what I'll do that#It's all gonna be LU though haha#CHEERS WE'RE GETTING SHIT DONE!#okay I'm gonna tag the old stuff so people can still find this if they want#mha#umm maybe not#it's just gonna be there#too tired for more#bye bye haha
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Mmm Jeanne
#servants cant learn new stuff (i'll talk about jalter in a second) therefore#jeanne shouldnt know how to read or write#we actually Dont get a confirmation that she can do those things in summer 3. because the book that jalter thought jeanne wrote#was actually Her own book#jeanne works with marie. maybe she comes up with the ideas and does rough drawings that marie would be Delighted to bring to life#marie reads to jeanne is my image#jalter taught herself how to read and write and i think that was possible because of the unstability of her existence#if you try to teach jeanne how to read and write it will stick for a second but if like idk 15-20 min pass she would likely find herself#unable to read again and her writting to be suboptimal#she can sign her own name ofc thats historical#she can recite the bible from memory iirc#i love jalter's ability to be her own person even if it comes with the fact that she is very much. an ephemeral dream#like her FCKING SKILL IS CALLED.#WHY MUST YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS FGO#anyway. now jeanne again but physical#oughhh thank u for the support in the tags when i said jeanne should have self image issues because she looked different in life#i hadnt fully talked bout it i just went with hair but yeah. i need to check again because im pretty sure her body wasnt Suuuper different#but i just gotta confirm#but im just so i love the idea of her just not liking the way she manifested abd not knowing Why she manifested like that#when there are Countless depictions of her with her short brown hair#sieg looks to the side whistling (its not his fault but he knows the pseudo servant part#and its probably a mix of . fate apocrypha's manifestation and of how some people imagined jeanne looked like#but it still upsets her#not that she'd ever complain to people#you can probably get it out of her tho#unrelated and only to those who reached this far: im thinking of a singularity set in 15th century orleans in the Middle of the hundred year#war. but the difference aint “oh jeanne d'arc came back to life evil” rather than “there seems to be a battle here where it shouldnt and oh#my god is that jeanne- oh god jeanne d'arc fucking died--#and chaldeas has to try and fix the war without living breathing jeanne d'arc#actually thats not the middle of the 100yearwar but yknow what i mean. also haha jk unless...
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Thought I’d get out for the night, so I’ve been sitting in this gaming lounge for the last hour and it’s… meh. Ordered an overpriced milkshake, just kind of hanging out. Honestly, I’d rather play games by myself at home than deal with whatever’s going on here. Well… it was worth a shot 😒
#haha this sucks#it’s hot and boring and I’m annoyed#only came bc my therapist has been bugging me to get out and try to be social#but… like… I’m a hater. I’m about to hate on some people… even if I wanted to be social there’s no one here I would ever talk to#the dudes that hang out at places like this are not the kind of people I make small talk with#tbf talking to dudes irl is majorly unappealing to me#what do we talk about? their favorite marvel character? guns? vin diesel? I dunno. I’m lost.#also ordered a milkshake that took them 30 minutes to make which I mean I’m amenable I’m cool and relaxed#but it’s literally just me getting anything to eat or drink back here the whole time so I dunno 🤷🏻♂️#dropped my brother off here so he could play in a Smash Bros tournament so it’s not a total waste#god I’m whiny#I need to just leave#I’m sure I could have had a better time but tbh I’m tired and already had a negative outlook on this before even showing up#video game lounge sounds cool but it’s like $10 an hour#and I dunno I have no desire to spend cash to play some new game I’m unfamiliar with in public or whatever#now if it was an arcade I would be so psyched. but no it’s like rent an Xbox for an hour kind of deal#just gonna go home get fucked up and play fallout and I’ll be so fucking content l#writing all this down so I can remember what to whine about in therapy next week#ok yeah this was doomed to not be my style. that’s fair. maybe look for a D&D group in the area or something instead#okay lemme stop complaining and just leave#I love you. I’m bored. and I’m dying. and I’m bored.#goodbye forever#text
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Love this “for you” thing Twitter, esp when it involves people I don’t follow with takes I don’t agree with. And here I am coming in to defend fucking P5 of all things. How did I get here? DX How have I sunk so low? u_u
Anyway someone said that Persona hasn’t had any passion since P3 (so P4 onward has been soulless).
And.....I don’t agree with it. Obvie, I love P4 and it’s spinoff era (I found it fun and def the opposite of soulless). Yes, that includes P5 and it’s spinoffs. And this is coming from someone that hates P5 and it’s spinoffs.... because of the writing. Not the “lack of passion.”
I do think Atlus has gotten shittier with it’s business decisions (such as DLC), but I wouldn’t call it passionless. I don’t think passionless people would make hours of cut content, would try to work old ideas from P1/2 back into modern Persona. Business decisions and their team is not automatically indicative or reflective of the creative team or their choices.
Do I think the writing really shit the bed starting with P5? Yeah. But I don’t think it’s from a lack of passion, just a lack of oversight/control (P5 literally has an over abundance of writers and lack of editors, and that’s the same issue Ultimax ended up having). Having plot holes and inconsistencies and some quality control issues doesn’t indicate a lack of passion.
“Oh you’re just upset because they insulted P4″ yeah, but I don’t think what they implied about P5 is right either. The creative team def shows passion. They brought back ideas from P1/2 and even FeMC the second they got away from Hashino. And I don’t think Hashino is bad either, I think he had a creative vision (aka having P3 be a soft reboot for the series and thus not bringing back a lot of ideas from P1/2) and wanted to see it through. I don’t think that’s inherently passionless of him (in fact, him wanting to stick to his vision might be considered very passionate!).
Was it a stupid business decision? Yeah a bit (personally it’s whatever, it held things up but didn’t completely screw the lore), but that’s a different issue.
I dunno it’s just....annoying. I get it, I’m frustrated with Atlus’ business decisions too. I’m frustrated from all the P5 stuff (I’m giving P5X a chance because new cast, new chance), cause I don’t like P5 or the PT. But just cause you don’t like it doesn’t mean the creators “lack passion.”
#silly talks#i still think p5 and its spinoffs are bad.......but it's more of writing oversight than passion#who knows if this was sparked by P5X#yeah p5x has issues (such as being a gatcha)#but that's a whole other issue#i'm not a fan of gatcha games but I can easily avoid them#i just want the golden era of MegaTen phone games to come back ;w;#maybe they'll reboot the other games? TT0TT#maybe we'll get aigis first mission and em and mobile online back???? Please! TT0TT#'but silly what makes you hating so different' well....haha.....I pull from the text and point out the contradictions that frustrate me#*gestures at all my metas and ramblings* I ain't hating P5 on vibes alone#i do give it a chance at every turn tho......but spinoffs.....connected to the PT? aka sequels/midquels?#sometimes you inherit the original sin of the base game sorry thems the rules u_u#ah that reminds me I should make that one video...............jdsaflkja#*adds one more thing to work on*#it's the p5S video that I mentioned a year or two ago.....need to work on it
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Naughty or Nice?
“Just one, huh? Guess I’d better start upping my game.”
#( 💀 ♮ DASHBOARD DECEPTION ♮ | memes )#Last meme for a while I promise!#Wolfy said I had to do this quiz too so I did#Oh boy is Roman on a lot of naughty lists haha#He doesn't mind since Christmas was always a horrible occasion growing up#Ughhh my chest feels so heavy and thick#Gonna take an early night if I can#I must write soon and not fuck around with memes#Sorry sorry to disappoint any of you#I think I'm getting back into a better headspace again but I'm exhausted between work and my health getting worse#At least I'm starting outpatient treatment in Jan so maybe they can make things a bit more managable#Need to start taking blood pressure more often also it's surprisingly low
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