#maybe to laugh at it

[tooturtly]

Just watched Nosferatu, and I’ve heard a lot of things. But oh boy did nobody warn me that it was a bad film (in my opinion)!!!!!!

Here’s me ranting bc I have so many thoughts:

1. The costumes and set, the DESIGN that went into this film were all gorgeous, but they did nothing for the story. The costumes and set did not convey the story of the characters

2. The environment also did not play a role in the story of the film despite being used visually. Why use beautiful vistas and the grandiose aspects of nature if you’re not gonna fucking use them for anything other than “here’s something nice to look at!” (Especially when you’re set in the FUCKING ROMANTIC ERA!! Come on!)

3. The plot (oh boy the fucking plot), of which there were three? There were too many plots. This film did not know what it’s point was.

Was it about forbidden desire? (I don’t think so) if it was it didn’t say anything with it. What was the point? What was the message? That forbidden desire is something you must sacrifice for?

This film wanted to be about desire and then someone (the director?) made the choice to make vampires unsexy??? For a film where one of the plots was about sex and desire, it was shockingly uninterested in sex and desire??? It was so committed to being unsexy? Where the vampire is literally called by her desire to exist and yet, there’s nothing? What is happening!

4. Sexism. I thought, considering the setting and the new focus on the woman (idk her name, idk anybody’s names, the Mina Harker stand in), they would address the sexism of the period??? But no! They even discuss hysteria!! Melancholy! They tie her to the ficking bed and it GOES NOWHERE!!!

5. The dialogue. This film is so over exaggerated, it could be so stylistic, the dialogue certainly is. and yet it plays itself so serious, so straight. How can anybody say “I’ve seen things that would make Isaac Newton crawl back into his mothers womb” and not even a little bit acknowledge that it’s a crazy thing to say??? If you acknowledged that this man was a little off his rocker it could work! But no! The audience in the theater laughed!! Multiple times when the tone of the film was very clearly supposed to be serious! But it was funny!!

5a. See Thomas laying flat on his face after his first night in the castle (laughter). Or like, plenty of the buckwild lines. I’m gonna have to go to Reddit to find a proper list some day bc there’s some real gems.

6. Lily Rose Depps performance. It’s so intense. She’s going at a ten when everyone else is acting very subtly, with really great subtle expressions that convey what they’re feeling. And then she’s shouting half her dialogue, with very little build in intensity or time to build up. It made it hard to tell how I was supposed to interpret what she was feeling. Did she really love Thomas? Was she truly afraid of Orlock? What was happening?

7. Pacing. There’d be one incredibly intense, chaotic, horrifying and emotional scene, and then it would cut to Frederick and the two doctors just standing around talking!!! Where does your carefully built tension and suspense go!!!!! For a film highlighting the experiences of a woman, it sure doesn’t spend a lot of time showing us what she’s thinking!!! Or doing! Or feeling!!!

This film dragged. The first half was too long, the second half was unfocused. I could go into the cutting room with this film and take half an hour out and I guarantee you wouldn’t notice. Defoe’s character could be folded into the other doctor and no changes would be necessary. Why is Knock in the later half? What does he add to the story to begin with? (Nothing)

Especially when you consider that it’s totally normal to assume everyone is somewhat familiar with the story of Dracula. You do not have to reinvent the wheel!! You can cut stuff! We do not need Thomas spending so much time in the Castle! Or with the nuns! Or Frederick! (Speaking of, what happened to the money and debt subplot?) we don’t need them. Give me more of what’s her faces story! (Is it Tulla? Helen? Something with an L?)

8. Dracula’s castle: as a modern audience, we know Dracula is evil. Thomas does not need an extended scene of being told Dracula is evil. We do not need him in this house of horrors. It might actually be MORE horrifying if we don’t see it, if we guess! He doesn’t know what’s happening, he’s being violated! And we don’t know either! Just cut it bc it does nothing to the plot after the contract is signed. If you need a reason somebody in this story can kill a vampire, give it to Defoes character.

9. I have seen other films do these same themes and ideas, this exact story even, and I have seen it done better. Hell, I’m a massive fan of Bram Stoker’s Dracula from 1996 with Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves. It does the same story in a very campy, silly, seductive manner. But because it knows what it is, because it knows what tone and story it’s going for, because it does not take itself too seriously, I can actually get into it! I can vibe! I can have fun! I can see what it’s going for and appreciate it!!! But no! Count Orlock’s stuttering drawl has no place in this film! It does not fit stylistically! The “sexy” scenes, the need for Mina to sacrifice herself in a way, it doesn’t work the same!

I think this is what makes me so mad!!!!!!!! It’s similar to how I felt after watching Bullet Train. A well done, we’ll executed movie which very clearly had talented artistic people working on it, but without a soul. A film that has taken better movies and ground them up into a paste to spit back out at me. A film without anything to say. A hollow shell of shots and cuts and dialogue that doesn’t actually add up to a story.

[marypsue]

One of the worst feelings in the world: when you are just desperate, like claw-your-own-skin-off desperate, to create, but the only thing that even vaguely appeals to you to work on is a nebulous half-feeling that might be dreamily related to some half-formed notion of a concept. I must! Make! No thing! Only make!

[bet-on-me-13]

The cult of...Danny Fenton?

So! Way back when Danny first moved into his new neighborhood in Gotham, he had some trouble controlling his Powers. The different Types and Levels of Ectoplasm in the air when compared to Amity had thrown off his control.

He was used to being in places where his Ectoplasm meshed well with the Atmosphere, like a Water Balloon in a Pool, but in Gotham that analogy would be closer to a Water Balloon in the sewers. It was too different from what he was used to to fully control his Powers.

So it's understandable that he messed up a few times and his neighbors found out about his Abilities.

They took it well at first, Danny wasn't going to go Rogues or anything, and he never used them maliciously, but eventually they got curious.

They asked what his limits were, how he got them in the first place, and what the hell the Ghost Zone was. The answers "None Really", "I died and was reborn", and "A Collective of every Afterlife at once" did spark some interesting reactions from them.

Most importantly, a few of them joked about him being an Eldritch God that they needed to worship. He was good enough friends with them that at that point they felt comfortable pranking eachother, so they did just that.

Danny woke up one day on his birthday, and saw all of his friends and neighbors surrounding the makeshift Throne they had made and put him on while he was asleep. The entire day they chanted stuff like "The Great One requires Ms. Smiths Apple Pie for his day of birth!" And "The Great One Wishes for us to sing the Ritual Song! Happy Birthday to You! Happy Birth-"

After his birthday, they kept up the joke.

It didn't help that his powers had evolved Again! And now he could bestow abilities onto his friends. The jokes they made about their God granting them Supernatural Powers to rule the world with were insufferable.

Then, one day while he was just resting at home, watching a movie on his TV, he felt a Pull at his Core. The same kind of Pull whenever he was being summoned. But why would they summon hi- Oh Shit! It's Mr Jenkins Party today! He was supposed to meet them at the Warehouse they used for special events an Hour Ago!

He quickly accepted the Summoning, but was met with a suprising sight. His Neighbors all tied up in a pile to his right, a spilled table of party food to his left, and right in front of him, Batman and his Family watching him with wary eyes.

Slowly, he opened his mouth. "...so, did you come for the party or..."

[violent138]

Hal: "Have one of your enemies died or something, I've never seen you smile like that."

Bruce, putting his phone away: "No Alfred just sent me a dick pic."

Hal, frozen in place, seriously reconsidering his thoughts on rich people and their butlers: "That's... nice of him."

Bruce, cursing his kids for normalizing "Dick pics" in their house as a way to refer to photographs of his eldest: "It's not like that."

Hal, holding up his hands and avoiding eye contact: "I think I preferred it back when I overshared and you told me to keep things professional."

[pansy-picnics]

“gay son or thot daughter,” you start to ask, but you can’t even finish your sentence because cosmo and wanda heard “gay son” and immediately started cheering and clapping

[starry-bi-sky]

FUNNIEST fucking shit that comes with making Danny eleven years old when he had his accident in "late at night, when the nightingale sings" is the implication following, that everything that happened in the show did too. And I fully intend on (mostly) keeping it like that. There'll be some changes (of which I need to figure out) but for the most part??? Yeah relatively the same.

Like I FULLY intend on keeping Dark Danny occurring 6 months post accident. Do you know how fucking HILARIOUS that is??? That Dan got his ass kicked by a goddamn FIFTH-SIXTH GRADER?? I'd never show my face ever again. Homeboy spent the last ten years being a one-man mass extinction event, only to get his ass beat by a kid who hasn't even lost his last baby tooth. That's hysterical. I'm losing my mind just thinking about it.

AND PARIAH DARK TOO. Imagine being an eons old tyrant capable of dragging whole towns down into your dimension, and you get singehandedly shoved back into your coffin in less than 48 hours by a kid whose bedtime is still 8:30. You didn't even have the time to expand your army! You were still trying to take over the city the kid came from!

And he just!!! Shoves you back in!! Insane! This kid hasn't even been dead for a full year yet! He's still growing in his ghost fangs! And he just knocked you flat on your ass in an oversized mech suit. What the fuck! It's like looking down and seeing a four week old kitten meowing very indignantly at you and trying to bite your feet, except that kitten is also actually a black-footed cat and they have a 60% kill success rate, and oops! Now you're dead. You took too long laughing at the kitten trying to attack you that it clawed up your pant leg and ripped out your throat.

COULD I, realistically, span these episodes out over the course of 2.5 years prior to Danny's family dying?? Yes I could! Do I think it's hilarious (and horribly traumatizing, which makes it twice as fun) to shove all of this into the span of (roughly) a year instead?? Yes. Because the show has such a skewed timeline that I've always just assumed that at the end of the show, Danny was starting his sophomore year in high school. So fuck it, lets go for it!

[cj-the-random-artist]

I have made. Another comic. I took a very, very long time, as usual lmao. I originally got inspired to make this after watching through Arcane cuz. Nicely done media makes me want to make things and all that. And, at that time, I'd sent Narinder out on a mission trip in my new save and he came home full of existential dread (I have terrible luck with Narinder on missions therefore so does QPR AU Lambert I guess lol), and it had occurred to me that that would make an interesting premise for a comic maybe?? Turns out it did.

I think I'm happy with this?? The perfectionist in me is not, and to be honest I think I could've drawn a lot of things better and also I think this would read better if it felt a little slower... but also it's 13 pages long so I can't fault myself all that much. I do wish I had spent more time on some of these interactions, particularly between Lambert and the Goat and also between Narinder and his siblings, I have a lot of thoughts about the Bishops post their joining the cult but I haven't had a ton of time to really like... flesh out those ideas as much as I would like to. Maybe someday?? Idk.

Semi-related, while this comic gave me a lot of thoughts about the Bishops it also gave me a lot of thoughts about like, the exact like, I guess boundaries and terms of Narinder and Lambert's QPR, and also about what exactly happened to Narinder while he was out, and he's not lying a lot did happen but that's a little too long to just throw in the description here so maybe future me will describe it somewhere or something. This comic also got me thinking about Webber a fair bit, and once day I will expand upon those thoughts but not today, I have outside activities today lol

Anyways. This comic, like all my art, is not perfect, but it was fun to make and I spent too long on it for nobody to see it, so... enjoy!!

[glitter-stained]

More of trans allegory Jason and the goons VS the batfam:

Transmasc older goon, trying to connect: Hey out of curiosity boss, when did your egg crack?

Jason, thinking this is a bird pun about how he became Robin: Uh, 12 I guess...

****

Penguin henchman: Wow, you really are okay calling yourselves goons? Isn't that like a little demeaning?

Red Hood Goon: Inclusivity my guy -Henchperson is a mouthful, and that way, we don't have to assume.

Penguin Henchman: Oh my god that's so thoughtful!

*they resume shooting at eachother.*

*****

Batman You're not okay Hood, you need a professional. Please, we can help you!

Jason: There's nothing wrong with me, I won't let you throw me into Arkham!

Goon of the week: Yeah Batfreak, the boss doesn't need help, there's nothing wrong with him! How would you like it if we tried to convert you out of being a furry, huh?!!

Batman: reconsiders life choices.

****

Angry goon: *beats the shit out of Nightwing with a trans pride flag*

Dick, a bisexual cis metrosexual: I'm not sure what is happening but this feels offensive.

****

Batman: Please, I know there's a lot of bad blood, but you're still my child...

Jason: Really? Because I clearly remember you saying you weren't my father and didn't have to deal with my "teenage angst"!

The Goons: You said what?!

Oracle : You said what?!

Dick, standing up and picking up the pride flag: You said what.

[mimefish]

is this anything

[parasitoidism]

80s anime dubbing is truly a lost art form

[braisedhoney]

okay but can you imagine—

[lauraneedstochill]

if I see one more post about Aegon “bullying Aemond his entire life”, I will go fucking ballistic, I swear to g—

scratch that, I will actually go ballistic right now. this is the “Aegon doesn’t deserve such a shitty treatment” club and I’m the self-proclaimed CEO. we are about to do some analyzing and reading so BUCKLE UP.

gonna make one thing clear first — Aemond was bullied when he was a child. no one denies that, no excuses can be made for that. I’d only like to note that there wasn’t only one bully. here’s a quick reminder:

now that we successfully counted to three, let’s look over Aegon’s other horrible crimes relationship with Aemond throughout the years.

📍 the night Aemond lost his eye (S1EP7), Rhaenyra suggests he should be “sharply questioned” (she means tortured) so they can learn who told him that her sons were bastards. Viserys, in his perpetual denial, angrily asks Aemond “who spoke these lies” to which he replies that it was Aegon. it is clear that Aemond does that to deflect suspicion from their mother but his words come as a surprise to Aegon.

he’s in a tough spot — Viserys demands the answers “as their king”, not their father (to signify his authority and pressure them into telling the truth). and Alicent screamed in Aegon’s face and slapped him just a minute ago, so he may be less eager to defend her. he can easily lie and say that he overheard some maids gossiping or that he can’t remember where the rumor came from. instead, it takes Aegon about 5 seconds to back Aemond up.

📍 we didn’t get many scenes with young Aegon and Aemond in general, but here’s a short bit people keep overlooking: when Harwin and Criston start fighting, Aemond and Aegon instantly gravitate toward each other. and moreover, Aegon puts a hand over Aemond’s back (which to me is either a protective or a comforting gesture). what a horrible brother, truly.

📍 next we see them all grown up before dinner in S1EP8. I think it’s safe to assume that if Aegon has been bullying Aemond all these years, Aemond wouldn’t want to spend a second in his company. he’s seated between Helaena and Otto, both of whom are dear to him, so Aemond can stay at the table and chat with them. and YET, not only does Aemond voluntarily talks to Aegon, but their conversation seems friendly (you can barely hear it in the show so here’s the enhanced audio). Aemond makes a joke about Aegon’s drinking habits — Aegon quips back — and then, what a shocker! Aemond starts venting his frustrations to Aegon (“Even when the noose is so tight, they expect us to break bread”). nothing would’ve stopped him from venting to Otto but Aemond stays with Aegon. he wouldn’t have done that if there hadn’t been some level of trust between them. he wouldn’t have done that if he hated Aegon’s guts.

📍 at dinner, when Aegon pisses Jace off and the brunet springs to his feet, Aemond stands up too, which forces Jace to act as if nothing happened and come up with a toast. Aegon watches him with a shit-eating grin on his face. it’s the face that screams “I know you won’t dare to act up in front of my brother and my brother has my back”.

when Aemond makes a toast and calls Rhaenyra’s sons “strong”, Aegon raises a cup to that. he can sit this one out — Aemond has his personal vendetta against the boys, and it would be safer for Aegon not to meddle. but what does he do instead? when Luke gets up from the table (clearly intending to go to Aemond), Aegon instantly stands up, comes up to Luke and not just stops him but slams his face into the table right in front of Rhaenyra without thinking twice. and it doesn’t look like Aegon is just messing with him — no, it looks like he wanted to do that for a while. like Aegon finally got his chance to stand up for his brother too. AND he also stops Baela from joining the fight.

📍 S1EP9 is when we get a glimpse of Aemond’s ambitions: he deems himself better than Aegon, he thinks he deserves to be king. but once he finds Aegon and they get into a fight, it turns out that Aegon knows that Aemond is a better choice. he doesn’t want to fight him, he begs Aemond to let him go. and Aemond can do that — Criston has his back to them, so Aemond could’ve pretended that Aegon managed to break free. and even once they caught Aegon, I have no doubt that Aemond could’ve helped him escape. but it seems that, despite his displeasure, Aemond values his family the most. he can’t betray his mother’s trust, and he knows Aegon is the first in line to the throne. Aemond envies him, yes, he may even hate him because of that. but he values his family the most.

📍 as @florisbaratheons noted, during the coronation scene, when Aegon glances at his family, Aemond looks right at him and gives that tiny nod that says “I may hate this and think I am better for the job as king. But I’ve got your back.” I like that Aemond is the one who keeps eye contact in that scene. He could’ve turned away to signal his dissatisfaction with the situation, there wouldn’t have been any consequences for that. But he didn’t.

📍 what I find interesting about S1EP10 is the beginning of Aemond’s dialogue with Luke. that’s the boy Aemond wished to get back at for years and yet, he starts by saying “Did you think that you could just fly about the realm trying to steal my brother’s throne at no cost?”. Aemond could’ve skipped that part — imagine him saying smth along the lines of “Wait, Lord Strong! Don’t you think you and I have other matters to discuss?” (to which Luke answers that he doesn’t want to fight and the conversation goes on). instead, Aemond makes a point to remind Luke: my brother is the king, and I came here on his behalf. you can argue that Aemond doesn’t do it for Aegon specifically but for his family in general. but Aegon is a part of the family, and S1 Aemond has his priorities straight.

📍 as much as I hate comparing the show and the book (these are two different things and should be viewed as such), I’d like to remind you that Aegon was the only one who stood by Aemond’s side after Luke’s death. I wonder why we didn’t get that scene… I guess it’s because it would be kinda hard to call Aegon “the main bully” after he literally throws Aemond a feast. but we do get to see Aegon supporting his brother: in S2EP1 he welcomes Aemond at the small council meeting despite his mother’s protests (“Aemond is my closest blood and my best sword”). and he trusts Aemond wholeheartedly, that much is obvious.

📍 let’s get to the most controversial part — the brothel scene in S2EP3: some people believe Aegon is being a bully at that moment. those people seem to forget one little detail:

it’s been only a few days after the death of Aegon’s son whose murder was a direct result of Aemond’s ruthless actions. does Aemond ever address it? does he express his condolences? does he mayhaps help to catch the killers, being the skilled fighter that he is? the answer is NO.

I do think Aegon’s joke was cruel (I wrote a whole post about it) but that’s all it ever was — a JOKE. the humiliation comes not from the things he says but from the fact that Aemond is found in a vulnerable position and surrounded by a group of strangers while his brother laughs at him. TGC explained it best:

I also love @notbloodraven’s take on that scene:

Aegon lashing out so cruelly at Aemond seems to be an effort in making Aemond feel as badly as he does and blaming him for Jaehaerys without actually saying the words.

would this be the right way to act? no. but there’s no right way to grieve and to cope with the loss — and HIS SON WAS BEHEADED so maybe take 1% of the sympathy you show your favorite character(s) and cut Aegon some slack.

+ other things worth talking about:

📍 @bietrofastimoff23 analyzed S2EP3 beautifully and I can’t help but mention the scene that happens before Aegon goes to the brothel. it’s the moment when Larys suggests that Alicent and Aemond are plotting against Aegon. he isn’t surprised by the idea that his mother can do that — but the second his brother is mentioned, Aegon’s face falls and he shakes his head no. because there is no way Aemond would ever do that to him. and instead of asking for any proof, he asks Larys “who spreads these lies?” and then commands him to “tend to them.” Aegon can ask him to spy on Aemond, to find any dirt on him, find any weaknesses he can use — he does not.

📍 it turns out to be true — Aemond was plotting behind his brother’s back. which is treason btw (I don’t think Criston intended to keep things from Aegon — he probably believed that Aemond would let Aegon in on their plan). and Aegon does have the power to remind Aemond of his place — he can throw him off the council with a snap of his fingers, he can take offense at Aemond’s attempt to publicly humiliate him (their conversation in High Valyrian — Ewan himself calls it a “public execution”). but that’s not what happens: as TGC phrased it, Aemond’s betrayal “breaks a bit of Aegon’s heart off”. an actual bully would’ve immediately pushed back, but Aegon silently sits down and doesn’t argue, he’s so defeated he can’t utter a word. he has the means to be a bully but he doesn’t contemplate it for a second.

📍 I don’t want to talk about S2EP6 because it makes me sick but I will reiterate one thing: never ONCE Aegon made fun of Aemond’s disability or tried to cause him any physical harm. just want to point that out.

there is no moral to this story, I guess. if you managed to read till the very end, thank you. if you still hate Aegon, that’s your opinion and you are allowed to have one — but please, for the love of god, just stop making shit up. no, Aemond was NOT bullied as an adult, absolutely nothing suggests that he was. Aegon was naive to blindly trust him and it backfired on him, that’s the actual story. and if you are so eager to hold Aegon accountable for his mistakes, maybe it’s time for Aemond to take responsibility for his actions too.

+ some of my favorite critical posts about Aegon and Aemond: x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x.

P.S. I will not argue with anyone so please don’t waste your time — I consider all my arguments solid and that’s enough for me. if you are thinking of sending me anon hate, pls go take a walk instead, it will do you more good. 🌿

[lunarcrown]

Jimmy J- Giggles vs Skizz Rizz

[andromeddog]

a well deserved rest

my secret santa gift for @onlyyouexisthere ✨ i hope you enjoy this drawing of winters having a little break, which we could all use

[exoscreamsoda]

who set up the internet in that decrepit little hovel so that lestat can be an ipad kid 😭

[kittykalliarts]

For decades, the blank vision that Iudex Neuvillette wears near his heart has been subject to much discussion in Fontaine. Nobody remembers who it had once belonged to or why the ancient dragon protected it so jealously. It is said that if the Chief Justice would to stare at it for a long while, it would be sure to rain right after. Oh, how beloved that person must've been.