#maybe it’s my ace/aro side speaking too

[elsa-fogen]

the reason I brought up Alastor only being canonically Ace is because you keep saying he's canonically Aro, and he's not. if you, and those siding with you, are gonna use canon to argue about shipping you should get it correct at least. also it amuses me that you don't argue against charalastor with the Ace argument by the way. only against radioapple. there's definitely a bias there, which is hilarious. -shrugs-

I'm not saying anyting (but this is my headcanon)

but first of all this☝️ @domni99

and this @theexecutionersmough

In fact, i don't argue about ships with this argument at all because i just forget about it all the time (other ppl do this for me and i'm like YEAH THIS TOO) (I'm just not used to keep it in my head all the time) (i need to sit there at least five minutes to remember that "he's ace" can be used as argument) (maybe now i will think of ot faster, thanks anon)

Speaking of Charlastor (and tbh any Alastor ship), i don't say that i ship them and i like this ship lol. And i skip sexual content with them if it appears just as i do for r#pple. (in fact i skip any sexual content no matter the characters, even with Radiorose (ESPECIALLY WITH RADIOROSE) eugh my ace ass can't look at this shit) The difference is that i can enjoy some platonic/qpr or slightly romantic content with them. Because there's Alastor and all i need in my life is just more Alastor in Situations. If i shipped them, it would be platonic or onesided only☝️ (in fact im gonna make one AU where Charlie and few more chracters got crush on Alastor who couldn't care less)

and speaking of r#plle i hate it not only because it's againtst Alastor's canonical ace-ness, but just because i don't like it and it's everywhere. Why can't i hate something for no reason?

Mic drop.

[lacrimosathedark]

Hellaverse Aces Headcanons

We have THREE whole confirmed asexuals in the Hellaverse and one more kind of implied, so as an ace-spec person myself, I thought it'd be fun to do headcanons on where they stand.

Mammon

100% asexual, sex averse but not repulsed. Or rather, he isn't super bothered being exposed to it (especially if it's making him money) but he DOES NOT want to be involved. Like, he has those two Fizzie Bots to give off the appearance that he has bitches, but he has no bitches and I don't think he wants them.

Probably aromantic. He doesn't seem to understand love and certainly doesn't care for it. His first love is money and nothing will come between him and that bag. Also, man dresses like an aro flag on the daily.

The other three are much longer so under the cut we go!

Octavia Goetia

Mildly sex-repulsed asexual. She might be demi, but it's hard to say without her having many peers in the show thus far. But on the whole, she gives off totally ace vibes. I don't think she was just embarrassed by her dad's public flirting, but genuinely uncomfy with the subject matter. Blitzø's openness on the subject might be part of why she dislikes him so much.

It's hard to stay with her limited screen time, but I also think she's greyromantic. She doesn't seem to understand love. That is probably partly from how she was raised; her parents are far from a good model for a loving relationship. But she also just has disinterested vibes to me. It feels like she doesn't even really think about it.

She's made a connection with Loona, and it feels so solidly sisterly. I mean, it would be a little bit weird if it skewed romantic with the potential for being future step-siblings, but weirder things happen in HB. Via just seems to have a quick solid sisterly bond with her and it's adorable.

She puts a lot of value in platonic relationships. She is so deeply heartbroken by her parents divorce even if they hate each other because they're both good to her (or at least I presume Stella is usually good to Via or else she'd probably be less upset or upset about different things in the divorce). Her biggest fear is that Stolas will leave her behind.

We know Stolas loves her more than anything (heehee) and is just a bit too self-centered and wrapped in his own head to be as attentive to her as they'd like. And as upset as she gets with him, Via always forgives Stolas for being stupid. He means the world to her and vice versa.

If she were to ever get married, it would literally be her best friend and she would say that no one should expect an heir from her. I feel like she would be happiest with a queerplatonic partner who would cuddle her and maybe kiss her cheek and forehead, but nothing "more" than that so to speak.

Alastor

Honestly will admit that my perspective here may be tainted by my adoration of Radioapple.

Demi or greysexual, but basically 99% asexual. By which I mean it's more literally a one in a million chance that he'd find any interest in someone. His attraction is very particular. Like, never being attracted to anyone until meeting The One. (For clarity, I don't believe in fate and finding someone he's miraculously attracted to doesn't "fix" him so let's shut that shit down. You can be attracted to literally one person and if you feel no attraction for anyone else, that's still ace. It doesn't disqualify you from asexuality.)

Sex averse in general, and generally repulsed at the idea of self-involvement. Outside of That One Person, sex disgusts him, and even then it's still hit or miss whether he's into it or not. He's alright enough with it that he can casually walk the streets of Pentagram City unbothered, but he otherwise wouldn't willingly expose himself to it ex. being very notably absent on Show and Tell day.

It involves far too much physical contact for his liking, and being friends with someone like Mimzy in life, he likely has seen much of the darker side of it. I wouldn't be surprised if so-called predators were his prey in life.

Some people think of him as repulsed by the body fluid stuff (I certainly am) but I don't think that's a factor for him. Man eats demons whole. He gets everything that is inside them. Including their digestive systems. I don't think other body fluids are gonna be an issue lol

He knows sexual attraction could be used to manipulate someone, but he is disgusted by the concept, maybe because he saw that happen too much when he was alive, or he considers it pathetic, debasing yourself for someone else. Man also covers up from the neck down, he could have an issue being bare around someone else.

Homo-greyromantic. I can't imagine this man romantically attracted to a woman, if only because I feel like if he were, he would be married to Rosie by now because they seem like a perfect fit. If they were alive, they would be the type to be married for tax benefits (or the benefit of not having to testify against each other in court HA).

LOOK AT THEM. He's so comfy and genuinely happy with her it's so cute! He do a little squeak aaaaaa If Alastor understood the concept of asexuality he and Rosie would be qpps and you can never convince me otherwise. It is a hill I would die on.

And him only being attracted to men would make a lot of sense why he'd never found someone, because he has a general disdain for men that is actually pretty common in people attracted to men, women especially. Men are trash is his baseline, why would he give them a chance, especially in Hell where they're almost guaranteed to be awful? No thanks. Not worth it. He has better things to do. Like murder!

Plus, he's so fucking fruity sometimes lol

I mean, come on.

(also, sidenote, bitch GET YOUR SHOES OFF THE BED)

It also would make Radiostatic/silence more tragic imo. Like, maybe Alastor felt some kind of romantic about him, but Vox wanted something sexual too and Alastor just wasn't interested. Vox is a pretty sexual guy. If "dating" a pimp running a porn studio isn't enough, this is.

I'm so Velvette in this scene lol stfu Vox calm down

But if Vox wanted sex and Alastor flat-out rejected it, Vox might not have understood the complexities of Alastor's attraction and assumed he was lacking something, that Alastor didn't actually like him, and took it personally and lashed out.

We know Vox is obsessed with Alastor, and there's certainly mutual disdain, but isn't it more tragic if Alastor felt betrayed too? He lost a friend, or maybe something more intimate, all because said friend wanted to fuck him. That's so relatable tbh.

Striker

Yes I'm including him.

I'm gonna guess he's actually autosexual and otherwise sex-repulsed. Every time sex is brought up, he's visibly uncomfortable and even angry. That could be for any number of reasons, but I'm going with this lol. The only reason I'm not "sure" he's sex-repulsed ace is that fucking statue of his.

I mean, Stolas does comment about him wanting to suck his own dick sooooooo

But he does also use Blitzø's attraction against him, so not repulsed enough to not use others' attraction against them as a means to an end.

He doesn't give off aro vibes to me, but he could be maybe? To me he just feels like whatever drives him comes first. Whatever happened that made him hate royalty with such a passion supersedes anything else he might feel, and who needs attachments if he's just gonna lose them again?

Aces are shockingly well-fed in the Hellaverse huh? Especially considering our general absence anywhere else, and the crumbs we get are hugely stereotyped and wrong. Like, look at that, only one of them is heartless and none of them are passionless robots! And their sexuality isn't their defining personality trait, just some more color! Wow!

Mainstream media take fuckin notes.

[bubblyernie]

I’m going to say something so outta nowhere but the one line that’s prevailed in making me a more accepting person to myself and others came from a teen titans episode I watched when I was like. 10. Maybe 9? Where Raven says (to BB) “I respect the fact that you don’t eat meat. Please respect the fact I don’t eat /fake/ meat.” (Yknow cuz he’s a vegetarian)

And to put it in context as someone who’s aromantic but allosexual in a lot of niche kink circles and a very queer friendly place IRL (the school and city I’m living in) it really helped me to come to terms with 1. YKINMK ATOK as well as 2. getting over the “sex = impurity” culture that I grew up with. Like I hung around a lot of people who were also aro or ace or both around very, for lack of a better term, horny communities which had allo people too, and that’s all cool for them but then pretending Im “above” attraction or that it’s like ‘alt’ to not be into sex to be part of this inner circle was smth I had to get over. And it wasn’t anyone else’s fault but my own, and ofc we were all like fresh adults and stuff and having to learn this stuff of course comes with bumps in the road.

To reel it back to my point, it made me learn to be comfortable as someone who wants to be intimate by saying like “I respect the fact that you don’t want to have sex. Please respect the fact that I do”. Like to me this was a way I could avoid being dismissive or disrespectful, because that’s not what I want, what I wanted was to say like I’m not comfortable with this kinda tone, I’m going to excuse myself if that’s the case, but I still respect you speaking about your relationship with your identity

This is all personal experience ofc, I was raised religious too so that was a part of it. And this isn’t to compare myself to others who are aro/ace/both or put them down, and I’m especially not saying (to make this abundantly clear) that asexual/aromanticism and religious/purity/chastity ideologies are the same, that sort of thing can affect ANYBODY. Me overcoming purity culture was not a result of stepping over others.

As a side, most of the kinkiest circles I’m in are made up of ace spec people with the brightest personalities ever and even if you aren’t into kink that’s 100% cool!! again, personal experience, this is the only lens I’ve connected through which is why I bring it up, not bc it’s the only community for queerness. Im still learning, trying to get out there and that means not knowing everything. and I can’t speak for everyone in one post either ofc

ALL THAT TO SAY every time this comes up and I think about accidentally offending people I care about by establishing my comfort and boundaries, I think of “I respect that you don’t do (thing), please respect the fact that I do” from teen titans and it’s really helped as a way to frame what I’m trying to say

ANYWAY I was going to post this during pride month but I forgot so I’m saying it now bc every month that I’m queer is pride month lmao happy July 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 there’s parts I forgot to explain bc this is all stream of consciousness but I hope my point is clear.

Ps If you misinterpret this as a way to bash ace OR allo people, then I’ll literally saw off your teeth

[the-s1lly-corner]

Which of the creepypastas would be okay with an asexual s/o?

Creepypastas w/ an ace!reader!

yahoo!! sorry for taking so long to get to this!! i kinda had a small lil slump for a few days but im back!! sorry for any typos or if these seem... bllluguuguh!!! im still trying to get through that lil slump so my brains still a lil... boo!!! obligatory these are with characters that i think would be compatible with an ace reader so this isnt going to follow my base/go to list of characters! a lot of these are going to dip into admins experience as someone on the ace spectrum (asexual/aegosexual!) reader is written as vague ace identity but like. mostly involved to be ace. admittedly this leans more into most of this being ace hcs since i think for the most part they dont care/dont find issue with your identity

Characters: Slenderman, Trenderman, Eyeless Jack, Masky

CWs: mentions of sex but like. nothing too bad mostly just vague sex drives and that sort of thing, really!

Slenderman;

honestly i think he might be on the ace spectrum, or maybe thats because i dont think he really knows what sex /is/

okay well he does know what it is but he only understands it on a surface level, but otherwise he doesnt really care much for it in an everyday setting

yeah i think hes on the spectrum; i also think he might be on the aro spectrum!

only really initiates intimacy if you want it (reminder that not all aces dont have sex! attraction stuff is the main thing) but otherwise i would write him the same way as i do with a non-asexual reader!

extra headannon since his is kinda short but really hes probably the most supportive out of any creepypasta simply because i like to write him as this entity that doesnt interact much with others but is still. curious. this man does not know what lgbtphobia is (and thinks its dumb when he does find out!)

Trenderman;

very similar with slenderman but more in tuned with identity stuff and things like that

personally i hc him to be greysexual, or demisexual! i think trender is like. the only one out of the 3 brothers (that i claim) that i dont see being ready to get down and dirty? like unlike slender he KNOWS what it is and understands attraction and all that but just doesnt. feel it

so he gets it! he interacts with people more than slender but like. not openly, i mean like not as himsef?! this is kind of a side tangent but i like to think that slender beings can create false human bodies and trender is the main one who uses it

anyways! im kind of getting off topic

he understands the stigma and hate ace people can get so out of the four characters today i think he would be the most likely to offer an ear when youre getting flack

i wish i had more for trender as well but this is genuinely the first time ive written for him so im still all OWOWOOOUGH!! with how i wanna portray him

speaking of i need to do like a catch up post for him, and some other characters so i might do that soon^^

Eyeless Jack;

okay so! the two above characters are fine with it because theyre on the spectrum above but i feel like eyeless jack just outright doesnt care if your ace or not since he has a fairly low sex drive 99% of the time

sappy man, one of those "i prefer people based on their personality rather than their looks" but not in the "im so deep for this and im lying through my teeth" way i (personally) see people say (school was ROUGH man) but in a "im literally turning into a monster my skin is fucking blue and starting to rot i have no place to say anything" way

anyways

he adores you so so much and he really feels like he doesnt deserve you, bro could not care

probably tries to find flowers around his cabin that make up the ace flag/which ever flag you use

though im not sure how many grey flowers there are... hes trying his best!

Masky;

similar to eyeless jack he has a low sex drive imo so it isnt too much of a big deal to him, plus i think hes graysexual? at least i feel like he would if he knew about the label

i think asides slender and trender, he doesnt know much about this sort of thing so youre probably going to explain it to him

he mostly gets it! he gets things mixed up but hes trying his best!

overall supportive bf!! probably steals a pride pin from somewhere (dont ask)

imagine he grabs the wrong pin/j

wweoeoeohh! i hope this post is okay! admittedly i wasnt sure how this was going to turn out since, as stated above, i feel that a lot of the characters wouldnt mind/are on the spectrum themselves im not gonna lie this couldve been better but im so out of it rn that my brain is all scattered n stuff :( regardless i hope this is sufficient, and once again im so sorry for the wait TToTT

[ar0acejay]

hiya, here's the link to alastor not being explicitly aromantic being discussed on another blog: https://onesidedradiostatic.tumblr.com/post/743154763842093056/apparently-alastor-is-not-canonically-aromantic

tbh, I agree very much with what that blog said -- amir talai said "him being aroace is not explicitly known" which is true. the word "aro" hasn't been said explicitly in the way "ace" has. it's been stated as word of god and discussed and hinted, but it's not been said BY any character/s (yet 👀👀👀)

I think a VA of the character saying "my way of reading things is if it's in the script it's explicit, and if it's not, it's not" makes a lot of sense. that being said, it's not to say it won't be made explicit down the line, in the way "ace in the hole" was a way of making the aceness a Statement That This Is The Character

amir talai strikes me as the kind of guy who's been consistently very deliberate in only discussing what's on the page about his character, so not wanting to discuss his being aroace until/if it's on the page is very fair -- with "ace in the hole" he did also speak about how that was a way of making something explicit, while still being true to the character not knowing the terminology or the identity. until that moment, "ace" was not explicit either

(I don't btw personally totally agree on reading characters this way, considering the long history of queercoding being that one Couldn't make something explicit + that's still a very deliberate method of writing show-don't-tell today, But that's coming from my side as someone who's well-versed in that history, rather than a "I am the random person voicing a character and I do what's on the page in front of me, because that is my job and I talk about what is on the page in front of me" -- but he's clearly also trying to learn, which is awesome)

also he DID do some learning/hyping on aro-identity during this week of aro awareness, so it's also nice that he definitely understands that ace and aro aren't interchangeable and is putting in that work to open his horizons on that front

Thank you for linking the post!!

I totally agree with what the post said. Alastor got 1000% confirmed as ace by that joke and personally I also think that it included him being aromantic. A lot of people still think that ace and aro go hand in hand the same way that they assume that (for example) bisexual and biromantic go hand in hand (which they don't but a lot of people think that) so maybe the writers are part of that group. Also, like the other blog said, Rosie said the "ace in the hole" joke in relation to him dating Charlie and it basically went "she's too young for you lololol jkjk ik you're ace" (which doesn't stop people from being in an alloromantic relationship, people just think aro and ace means the same thing) so I do think they included aro into that scene. However aro actually being in the script is only my own interpretation so I get it if people think otherwise.

I completely support your point about stating things explicitly and queer coding. I think Alastor is extremely aro-coded apart from the fact that his VA didn't actually un-confirm it - he just said that it's not explicitly in the script. Personally, it's super duper implied that Alastor is aromantic but again, I get it if people don't see it. So yeah, despite what anybody says, as long as Alastor isn't confirmed to be not-aromantic I'll headcanon him on the arospec

Also, even if Alastor turned out to be not-aro, I don't think anything would change because about 95% of this fandom doesn't give a shit about aros or aces and just continued erasing Alastors aroace identity that we thought he had at that point so yeah.

(also amir talai doing research and posting about ASAW is so important to me AHSHSAHAHAJJWJFJS) (I never thought I'd be hyping up a man for doing the bare minimum but here we are)

[the-sketched-squad]

heya, intro post time:

☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎♬☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎♬ ☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎♬ ☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎

We are the sketched system and are unsure if we are traumagenic, endogenic, or stressgenic [is that what it’s called] due to not remembering that time of our life

[we are bodily a minor, keep this in mind]

yes blah blah blah we’re supportive of all types of systems and try NOT to involve ourself in syscourse

you can call us Charlie [he’s one of our co-hosts and we also like the name so], bill cipher, Nix, shark, or Wisp

here’s the link to our fave pronouns

we’re gender fluid or yk our gender changes between alters so just use those pronouns or they/it/he/any neos/most xenos

pansexual aroaceflux polyamorous bitch

☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎♬☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎♬ ☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎♬ ☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎

We don’t have a dni…. Just be good to each other, I block rather freely

byf [yk some bad/controversial stuff about us and such]: we swear a decent amount, have strange/dark/dry humor, we often forget tone tags *shrug* oh and as you just saw sometimes we’re insensitive, we are pro non-traumagenic, not all of our alters are gonna be nice [omg fern calm down - Bee], we are citrusqueer and dollqueer, um I’ll add more in the future

we will post about some alterhuman stuff but mostly system stuff

☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎♬☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎♬ ☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎♬ ☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎

this is gonna be our system side blog cuz we haven’t really shared this on my other blogs

speaking of such here is our other blogs:

@tangerinedre3mer (main blog, about a ton of shit)

@blu3b3rrynightmar3 (Art and s a d side blog)

I suppose I should tell you who our alters are [btw it’s Charlie writing this part]

Host:

name: Kay so I’m not gonna tell you the name of our host cuz beings irl call them that so just call them like Tree or one of the names previously stated

pronouns: changes due to genderfluidness so any other than femme is fine

Little tag thingy: we don’t always use these but uh anyway, “- Host”, “- Tree/Nix”, “-💧🌱”

they like nature and stuff, idk they’re awkward and take things like 5 steps to far, oh kinda secretive and lies a lot

Alterhuman in some way, hard to tell who’s alterhuman here

Co-host 1:

[- Tree/Nix] I’m here now so hi, and uh this post is shit

Name: Fred/Fern

pronouns: androgynous neos, space themed xenos, they/it

gender: beyond the concept of gender but yk agender is ok too

tag [as you saw when I came back]: “- Fred/Fern” | “- 💚👽” | “- this other guy” | “- 👁”

likes to observe humans and is very curious about them and other things too, sometimes very formal, generally pretty calm

alienkin, queen of hearts kin [from Alice in wonderland], crowkin, gets bill cipher shifts

oof this is gonna be a long post

co-host 2:

Name: Charlie [the guy from earlier]

pronouns: he/they

Gender: Transmasc

Tags: “- Charlie” | “- 🕷️”

likes uh I’m not honestly sure, rude, swears a lot, anger holder, kind of a persecutor too… speaks fancily sometimes, tries to be caring and nice

bill cipher kin, maybe some other stuff too

protector [I think]:

Name: Bee

pronouns: androgynous and femme neos, they/she

gender: idk something androgynous with a bit of femme

tags: “- Bee” | “- 🌟🌈” | “- ☁️”

Likes pastel goth stuff, girls lmao (she is ace btw but not aro), rainbows, idk that kinda stuff, she’s a furry also.

They’re sensitive to criticism and often bright/bubbly/happy/euphoric but then they switch to sad/numb/depressed/etc. [their personality is closer to like a girls girl now btw]

Age regressor

Name: Jude

Age: 16 [little age 9-12]

Pronouns: she/they

Gender: ??? [genderfae maybe]

Tags: “- 🍭” | “- Jude” | “- sweetly insane” |

Likes candy, controlling the body, running, She-Ra, fun socks

As one of her tags suggests she is sweetly insane, like she just gives me psycho vibes a bit but she’s also really sweet and cutesy [which probably adds to her uncannyness]

Dollkin

[she and JX help take care of the body]

☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎♬☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎♬ ☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎♬ ☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎

Oh before I forget, my uh alterhuman master list lmao:

otherkin:

demonkin

bill cipher kin

queen of hearts kin

sharkpup kin

Cryptidkin

Crowkin

Alienkin

Dollkin

therian:

deaths head moth

lynx

snow leopard

otherhearted:

bathearted

Hammerhead shark

whale shark

beehearted

coping/fun/otherlink:

labrador

Mouse

There will be more in the future

but for now goodbye my fellow beings/things/entites/whatever love yall

☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎♬☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎♬ ☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎♬ ☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎ ♬ ☁︎︎

Non of these were made by me—credit to creators:

@chaoscouncilcreaturecorner — @therianuserboxes — @spacedreamon — @incoherent-squawking — @cynicaltirade — @transmasculine — @queerpridedits — @xxx-ang3l-w1th-a-sh0tgun-xxx — @oxceen — @plural-this-user-is — @banana-dawg — @12sidedsquare

If you don’t think u should be on here or if you do think you should be on here, just let us know! Also if we are in you dni also let us know and we’ll remove the user box and ur name

[charliespringverse]

iwbft — tuesday: a brief summary of my annotations

all highlighted quotes: 136

· ouch/ow/owie: 12

· real/felt/relatable/so true: 5

· aroace: 2

· ☹/☹☹/☹☹☹: 9

Rowan is on his front, one arm slung over Jimmy's chest. Jimmy's head is tilted ever so slightly towards Rowan. — i've woken up like this with at least half my friends

The shipping itself isn't a major inconvenience to any of us. If anything, it keeps the fans interested. They think Judgement Day will eventually come and there'll be a big reveal that Rowan and I are secretly in love. There won't. We're not. — @larry shippers in the year of our lord 2023

It's always sort of been Rowan and Jimmy, plus Lister. We still love him of course. But that's just the way it is. — PAIN (note: this is all caps, huge, and triple underlined)

'I talk about The Ark all the time. I don't know why this was a surprise.' 'Fereshteh, it was a little bit of a surprise to me too.' 'Why?' 'I suppose... I suppose I never thought you actually cared about this band that much.' — parents vs actually listening to and validating their interests (failed, always)

Juliet chuckles weakly and looks away. I know she's had some bust-ups with her parents in the past. — understatement of the millennium

I'm an optimist. I like to believe that love exists. — it Does it just isn't always romantic/sexual. but it exists So Much

'I feel bad... feeling so happy when they're probably upset,' — ur so close to getting it queen

'Can't we just go home?' Lister mumbles. 'No,' she says. — foreshadowing innit

Rowan and I follow him immediately, like there's a string attaching us — ... invisible string addition to the folklore trilogy?

Lister tells us to go away, but Rowan just walks up to him and starts rubbing his back as he throws up. — ♡ listerowan bestieism

There's a big window on one side of the bathroom. Big enough to climb out, probably. We're on the ground floor. We could just climb out and run. Get up and go. — FORESHADOWING INNIT

Being trans has been a pretty you can big part of my life so far, thanks, but that shouldn't be particularly relevant here, in an interview about our music. — u can Never escape other ppl's obsession w ur transness

Dave laughs and says again, 'Now that's honesty.' — FUCK YOU DAVE (note: this is all caps, huge, and quadruple underlined)

I ask God to give me a bit of extra patience. Because every time Mac speaks, I sort of want to put an entire bag of cotton wool in his mouth. — what God is for x

Being a male fan of obscure old bands is, for some reason, more acceptable than being a female fan of a twenty-first-century boy band. — (also the obscure old bands are rarely that obscure. they're one direction for old white men)

They know exactly who they are. They put it in their blog about' page, they put it in their Twitter bio. I never know what to put in my Twitter bio so I usually just put an Ark lyric in there. — and when u enter ur confident aro-ace era? what then?

I like to think God does have a plan for everyone. But I also think there's too much shit in the world for all these plans to be perfect ones. Or maybe God doesn't have time to write a plan for everyone. And some of us are just trying our best and getting it a bit wrong. — i think this is why faith doesnt work for me

Everything's still there, though. My journals, my guitar, my main laptop, my childhood teddy bear, and the knife that Grandad gave me when I was sixteen. — now i want to know what he would admit to in one of them essentials interviews

It'd be useless as an actual weapon, since it's completely blunt - you can run your finger along the edge and not even get a scratch. — hhhh foreshadowing innit ☹

Not that he particularly goes seeking it. Everyone just wants to be friends with Lister Bird. — and yet he cares most abt getting closer to the two he shouldn't have to try for ☹

David [Tennant] thought she wanted a selfie, when in fact she was just trying to find the nearest toilet. — iconic

'Now, there'd better be some fucking Capri-Suns somewhere around here.' — me @ every function

When they were together they both seemed to stop worrying about everything else in their lives - Rowan was no longer an overworked band boy and Bliss was no longer a struggling student. They were just together. — ☹ justice for laimondi

Then he leans in and presses his lips against mine. Oh. Okay. Fine. This is fine. Can't say I realised this conversa- tion was going in this direction, but fine. — BAD (note: this is all caps, huge, and double underlined)

'But we're gods, Jimmy. What's better than that?' — pain. suffering. agony. heartache. torture, torment, anguish.

Holding it makes me feel real. It reminds me that I was born. That my life is something other than this birdcage I'm trapped in. Isn't it? Isn't it? — has his therapist ever discussed depersonalisation with him?

[walkingaftermidnight07]

Kit x Ty Balcony oneshot

ackkk im so bad at writing my little intros to these so i apologize in advance lol

did i wait until new year's to post a oneshot that was requested weeks ago? yes, yes i did. in my defense. im shit at remembering to write stuff. on the bright side, i'm actually pretty proud of this one so....yeah.

anyways, my lovely friend @tys-kitty requested this a couple of weeks ago and I loved the idea so I had to write it!!! i believe it was inspired by a post by @aro-ace-cat-lady but i dont have the original post. whoops.

anyways, this is a KitTy first kiss *and sort of love confession* on the Chiswick balcony.

word count is abt 2k :D

make sure to reblog if you enjoyed it to help get this out to more people thank you very much. I am sending virtual hugs and kisses to all who take the time to reblog :)

if you want any more KitTy content from me, i have a playlist linked here as well as two oneshots of the reunion scene from sobh which are linked here and here. I ALSO TAKE REQUESTS FOR BOTH ONESHOTS AND PLAYLISTS.

anywayssss enjoy :DDDD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes Kit felt like Blackthorn Hall seemed to be closing in on him. The shadows felt like they were growing, wrapping around him. Suffocating him. Despite everything that Emma and Julian had done to fix it up, there was just something about it…

If Kit was being honest, he kind of hated it here. It gave him shivers and made him feel like he was being watched from all directions. He couldn’t tell if it was because of Blackthorn Hall’s history, or because of the fact that it used to be haunted by a ghost, or because there was something demonic about it, lurking in the shadows…

Or maybe it was because of what happened last time he had been here with certain members of the Blackthorn family. And while yes, parts of that had been resolved, Kit still thought often about that stupid day in the kitchen with the stupid gun. And with Ty.

Speaking of Ty, he’d disappeared. He’d left the kitchen this morning at breakfast, giving some vague excuse to the rest of the Blackthorns and Tessa and Jem about some reading for the Scholomance, but Kit had a feeling that was bullshit. And now it was afternoon and Ty was nowhere to be seen. He didn’t reappear for training with Dru and Tavvy. Nor for lunch. And Kit wasn’t sure whether he should look for him or not. Was this normal for Ty?

It hit Kit yet again, as it always did, that he didn’t know Ty anymore. Once, he would’ve known without any hesitation where to find him, and whether or not he’d want to be found. Hell, he’d probably be with Ty already, wouldn’t have felt the need to look for him because he was already being included in Ty’s bubble.

Now…well…they couldn’t avoid each other. Not with everything that had been going on. But apparently they could still go without talking to each other beyond a basic level. Nothing beyond that. Ty wouldn’t even look at him. He’d been at Blackthorn Hall with his family all week, and he could count on one hand the amount of times Ty had even looked in his general direction.

Dru had been telling him he needed to fucking talk to Ty, but he kept holding it off. This was his chance, he might not get another one.

But he was so so scared. What could he even say to Ty? How could he explain to him how he felt? How could he even ask Ty what Ty was feeling? Did he even want to know what Ty was feeling? Kit feared it would hurt too much.

The door to Kit’s room opened and Dru strode in. She stalked right over to where he was lying on the bed, and she grabbed him by the ankle, yanking him off the bed swiftly. He landed on his ass on the ground, staring at her in confusion. She was glaring at him.

“Hey, what was that for??” He groaned, rubbing his hip. “That hurt, you know?”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re fine, Kit, don’t be so dramatic.”

Kit stuck his tongue out at her and she cracked a smile. She offered him a hand up and he took it.

“Okay, but seriously, why did you do that?”

“Kit.” She stared at him intently. “My dear friend. My darling friend. My favorite person. My—”

“Okaaayyy, get to the point, Dru,” He grumbled.

She sighed. “I can’t find him, okay? I’m worried. He seemed kind of upset earlier, but I didn’t wanna say anything…but when he didn’t come down for lunch…”

Kit didn’t reply. He just looked at her. “Fine. I’ll look.”

She smiled. “Thank you, Kit.”

He shrugged. “Sure.”

As he left the room she called after him, “And remember what we’ve talked about! Communication!!”

He decided it would be in his best interest to ignore her snarky comment and continued on.

He immediately went to the balcony at Blackthorn Hall, because he didn’t know where else to find him. And oddly enough….there he was.

Ty’s back was to Kit, but Kit could see Ty’s shoulders stiffen as he stepped closer. Ty could clearly tell that he was there. But he didn’t turn around.

An awkward silence settled over them both. Kit stared at Ty’s back as Ty continued to pretend like he wasn’t there. He was running through things to say in his head but nothing came to mind.

“Do you need something?” Ty finally said, straightening. He still didn’t turn around.

“Yes—I mean—No. I mean—” Kit couldn’t seem to find the words. “I just…wanted to make sure you were alright.”

Finally Ty turned to him. He wouldn’t meet Kit’s eyes but he nodded. “I’m fine. You can leave now.”

Kit bit his lip. He should’ve expected this, this harsh dismissal. After everything, he shouldn’t have expected anything else.

But he didn’t want that to be it. This was his chance. To try to fix everything.

So he took a step forward.

Ty furrowed his brows. “I said you can leave me alone now.”

“I heard you, Ty,” Kit said softly. He took another step closer. He leaned against the balcony railing next to Ty. “But I think I’m going to stay out here, with you. To keep you company.”

Ty chewed on his lip, his expression torn. He looked confused, and kind of…nervous. “Are you—have you…um. Nevermind.”

“Hmm?” Kit asked, his heart starting to beat a little faster, anxious to know what Ty wanted to say.

“Nothing, sorry,” Ty said. Kit glanced over and noticed that Ty’s hands were clenched on the railing.

Fuck it, here was his chance.

“Ty.”

Ty turned his head a little quicker than Kit suspected he meant to. “Yes?”

“I forgive you,” Kit said softly. Now it was him who couldn’t meet Ty’s eyes. His stomach was all fluttery as he waited for Ty’s response. 

“What?”

“A while ago, you asked me how long it would take for me to forgive you and I told you I didn’t know,” Kit continued, closing his eyes as he remembered that horrible day, remembered his harsh words to Ty. He’d still been angry then. Still been hurt. Still felt like it was impossible to love or be loved. Now he realized how wrong he’d been. He knew now that he still loved Ty, just like he had when they were fifteen. Like he always would. His anger had subsided and all he felt when he thought back to those interactions was regret. He wished he’d been there for Ty when Ty had needed him most. “Well, now I know.”

“Kit.”

Kit turned slowly to face Ty. “Yeah?”

Ty reached out and grasped Kit’s hands. “You had every right to hate me. I know that now. I shouldn’t have expected you to forgive me. You still have every right to hate me.”

“But I don’t,” Kit blinked. “I don’t hate you. I could never hate you, Ty. I—”

“Don’t say it,” Ty said. “Please.”

Kit froze. His hands dropped from Ty’s. If he was honest, he hadn’t expected Ty to say it back. At least not in the way he wanted Ty to. But it still stung, not even being allowed to get the words out.

Ty peered at Kit’s face, and his own face fell. “I’ve offended you, haven’t I?”

“No, no you’re fine,” Kit said, aware how hollow his voice sounded. But he couldn’t help it. He was embarrassed all over again. “I can’t expect you to reciprocate, can I? Some things just aren’t meant to be—”

Ty’s brows furrowed. He looked confused. Then his expression became one of determination.“No, sometimes, I think they are.”

And then Ty grabbed Kit gently, and pulled him in for a kiss.

Every emotion flooded through Kit at once. This was the last thing he’d expected from this conversation. But now here he was, Ty grabbing him by the shirt, their lips pressed together—

And his entire brain was malfunctioning. He couldn’t form coherent thoughts. All he knew is that he liked it (perhaps too much) and that he was kissing Ty back.  He didn’t touch Ty, instead he gripped the balcony behind him, letting Ty take the lead. He only wanted whatever Ty wanted; nothing more, nothing that could be out of Ty’s comfort zone.

Kit had expected Ty to be more hesitant, but he wasn’t. He seemed almost desperate, like he was afraid Kit would push him away. And though Kit had kissed boys before, this was different. This was Ty. And any other person he’d ever kissed was completely and utterly forgettable to him in comparison to Ty. In fact, he had forgotten them. All he could think was Ty.

Then he heard the sound of someone coming onto the balcony. A voice followed the sound. “Kit, are you out here—”

Ty and Kit broke apart and turned to the voice. It was Tessa….with a sleeping Mina in her arms.

Tessa was staring at them, surprised. Her surprise turned into a small smile.

“Am I interrupting anything?”

Ty let go of Kit’s shirtfront and Kit straightened up. “Um, no. Hi…”

“Hi, Kit,” Tessa said, outright smirking now. Kit’s cheeks flushed bright red and he noticed that Ty was looking everywhere but at Kit or Tessa. “Sorry about that. I was coming to ask if you wouldn’t mind putting Mina to bed for her nap…but you seem busy so I’ll do it. No worries.” She turned and started walking away. She called back over her shoulder with an amused voice, “You kids have fun, see you later. I’ll make sure no one bothers you.”

Kit wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. That was embarrassing to say the least.

Ty coughed.

Kit turned back to him. “I’m so sorry–”

Ty pulled him in for another kiss. This one was just a quick brush of lips but it was enough to shut Kit up and offer a sheepish smile.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” Ty said, sounding almost surprised to hear the words come out of his mouth. “So that’s what all the fuss is about.”

Oh.

“It was better than I was expecting,” Ty mused. “Probably because it was you.”

“So that means—”

“I liked it, Kit,” Ty said, moving so that he was leaning on the balcony next to Kit. He brushed his hand against Kit’s ever so slightly. “I like you. I never understood what people meant by that until you. But now, I understand what that means. I understand that feeling.”

Kit rubbed his other hand over his burning face to try and bring the color out of it. “I—I don’t know what to say.”

Ty turned to him. “Yes, you do. You’re just afraid to because I cut you off earlier. But I only did that because I wanted you to know how I felt first.”

“Ty….” Kit said slowly. “Did you really mean it when you said that some things are meant to be?”

“Yes, of course,” Ty replied. “Of course I meant it. I always mean what I say, especially when it comes to you. It’s taken me a lot longer to get there, but I know how I feel now. And I would never even consider lying to you about those feelings, because they involve you too. And because I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I love you, Ty,” Kit said after a moment of processing Ty’s words. “I’ve always loved you, ever since we were kids. I never stopped. And I never will.”

Ty rubbed his eyes, and Kit realized Ty was crying a little bit.

“Can I hug you?”

Ty nodded, and Kit slid his arms around Ty’s shoulders. Ty held onto Kit tightly. They stood like that for a long time, even after Ty had stopped crying. Kit suspected that Ty was trying to make up for three years wasted. And he was completely fine with that. Nothing was better than the feeling of Ty’s arms around him, knowing that Ty felt something for him. He didn’t want to call it love necessarily, because it was Ty’s decision to call it that and he hadn’t yet, but it was something. And Kit would take something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

thanks for reading, lovely human!! plz reblog, like, and comment if you enjoyed!!!

[jack-kellys]

i could say Aro/Ace Romeo and Charm-speak, easy way out, but i feel like other good ones for him would be either understanding & speaking any language, Or being able to feel people emotions and on a flip side making people feel his own when they’re extreme.

- jey, always talking about romeo. again.

surprise to no one! i took this too far

send me a newsie+vigilante vibe and i’ll toss something back

i think if he’s a villain that can make people feel intense emotions or even sensations. i think that’s cool. and he’s still aroace. my brain is trying so hard rn not to call him ~the love doctor~ maybe he can be called like. the psychiatrist or something fucked up like that

[arialerendeair]

Anon Ask

...turns out to be the whiniest most self centred loser who whines about allo problems on an ace community post instead of making their own post and then argues that it's their right to whine on said post. like... that's crazy. I know I'm online too much and you shouldn't assume you know who you're interacting with but damn, you really don't huh? idk, I just like to think I know my mutuals and such? but I really don't and it makes me sad.

Their point is so stupid too. I'm allo myself and yeah I have a bunch of aces I follow but it's maybe 10%? everyone else is allo. also, why are you on tumblr looking for datable people? weird.

sorry about the rant, I guess I'm just sorry you have to deal with people like that.

Hey Nonny!!

(I deleted the first part of your ask because I don't want this to be a fandom thing - it's a person and their opinion thing, hope that's okay, though I agree with your sentiment expressed!)

As someone with a great deal (and I mean a GREAT DEAL) of experience having debates/fights verbally and on the internet, it's always disheartening to see. Especially when it's from people you hope know better.

In this instance, for me, I'm making a choice not to engage with the person I'm speaking to - but the audience around me. I'm well-aware that I'm not going to change their mind, their opinion, or their stance, so arguing from those angles would be a waste of time, energy, and spoons for me. So it was never about them.

It was about everyone watching.

It was about everyone who might now feel unwelcome.

It was about everyone (myself included) who looked at that reply on the innocent poll, and no matter how briefly, felt bad for taking up space as an Ace/Aro person. For being a part of a fandom space and being on someone's dash.

That's unacceptable in my eyes.

It's why I spoke up.

Sometimes you need someone else just as loud, just as passionate, and just as willing to pick a fight (if that's what it becomes) so people see another opinion on their dash and know someone is on their side. I've seen that keep people from leaving fandom. I've seen that make people cry to know that they aren't alone and that someone feels the way they do.

Tumblr can very easily, sometimes, feel like an echo chamber. Like you are alone. Especially when opinions come across your dash. I know that feeling well. Don't be afraid to reach out to each other if you need the support.

We all have a place here. We truly do.

Not going to let anyone feel like they don't if I can help it.

[gumpistol]

❤️ + enruiinas

Send ❤️ + a URL and I’ll write something nice about them/their blog!

♪ never gonna give you up! never gonna let you doown! ♪

    this is me, hanging onto dear life and clinging to saro whether she likes it or not! she is my ride or die, my brain twin, a fellow member of the AAA ( aro ace audhd ) club! i have so many things to say about her and how much she means to me, it hurts my brain trying to figure out where to start! but knowing me, it will be long, so buckle up buttercup~

    i will never forget our first interaction: i filled out her interest tracker, she came to my discord dms, and i swear we barely stopped talking with each other for the next 24 hours. when i had only known her for a day, it felt like we had been friends for years!! i still don't know what to make of that, but i don't think i've ever clicked with someone that fast. but the rest is history, and now we have so many threads in various verses together! 

    seriously, saro has such a massive brain with so many interests and thoughts and a desire to consume knowledge like i inhale a bucket of popcorn. she is one of the easiest people to talk to and bounce ideas off of. a good chunk of my character and story development for luffy ( and others ) are thanks to her picking my brain and asking the difficult character questions! she's excited to talk new ideas and what-ifs, and LOVES enabling me to write new muses. it is because of her that i ever started writing rosinante, robin, and penguin over on my multi~

    outside of writing though, she always makes me feel more excited to share and talk about my interests, including OP trading cards and my science-y rambles. SPEAKING OF! she loves me SO MUCH that today, despite hating making phone calls, she called her local card shop to see if they had a set of cards that i wanted!! as someone who also hates making phone calls, that is true fucking friend behavior right there ♡

    she really is quick to think about her friends. it could be the little things, like when she saves manga panels of unique luffy faces for me that i might not have yet, sends art of our muses, shares writing resources, or even just suggests reading the same science articles or listening to the same ologies episode together. she's also an excellent listener who gives meaningful words of encouragement, who refers back to things in conversation that i maybe said months ago, and who is a huge help when it comes to getting my brain unstuck on threads. 

    i haven't even touched on her writing and her Law portrayal though! when i say she puts SO MUCH work into doing him justice, i absolutely mean it. she analyzes even the smallest details, and her brain worms when she talks about him and his relationships are infectious. she got me so invested that she is the sole reason lawbin is now one of my favorite ships. she is the reason i put so much time and effort into a side character like penguin. and she is why i put so much stock into law and luffy's friendship. i. am. hooked.

    and i know she gets a little worried about the length of her writing sometimes, but the waiting period is worth it. the quality of saro's writing is so organic and it flows like reading a good novel. i'm convinced at this point that i could come to her with any sort of thread or verse idea and she could weave it into a beautiful story. god i'm so stupidly eager to write with her always!! 

    anyway, i wrote so much, but such is the nature of anything we write for each other. there's a lot that i didn't even get around to talking about, but in summary, saro is incredibly kind, fun, and so brilliant it makes me want to SCREAM! i love her a lot, she is one of my best friends ( if she disagrees then too bad ), and i'm incredibly happy that i get to be her friend :)

sent by: @mingos for: @enruiinas

[floralcrematorium]

fav fem character :3 (nyo or canon!)

I looooove love love Miss Ukraine for many reasons and we all know I'm down bad for Nyo France, but today I think I'll talk about Monaco! She's been growing on me a lot as I think about the FACE stories floating around in my head and what her role would be in them.

I think upon first impression Lucille appears shy or quiet, but in reality she's someone who thinks before speaking and acting. She's a gambler, she knows to wait and strike when the moment is right. Similarly to this, I can only see her as quite the business woman. Whether it be through a chain of well preforming casinos or a career in fashion, Lucille will do it well and in style.

Unlike Francis, with whom I see her having an amicable relationship with, she's not really one for romance. It's just not something she's interested in. She's very career oriented. Maybe she's aro/ace and maybe she's also heavily dissuaded from romance due to the Grimaldi curse.

I need to think about her more. I actually feel motivated to do some historical research with her since I don't really have the impressions of others' portrayals of her tugging on my brain since she's rather... not paid attention to. I want to figure out who she'd be friends with. I know historically Monaco has a lot of ties with France (obviously) and Italy, but otherwise, I don't know about that side of her!

She's definitely capable of putting Francis in check. I like the idea of her sense of practicality bringing him back down to Earth.

I think I could see her getting along well with Lovino -- they both have siblings who overshadow them and are too extroverted and grandiose for their own good.

I can also really see her getting along with Liechtenstein.

[astriiformes]

I don't know if it helps to hear at all, but there are people who are better than this and happy to respect the platonic and romantic relationships in their and their partners' lives.

My sister has always been incredibly important to me -- we're family, but we were also each others' best friends growing up, and I think even if we weren't related, we'd have been incredibly close. These days I live several states away from her, and she has a girlfriend she intends to marry in the future who she spends a lot of her time with.

Last year, her girlfriend gifted her a locket (my sister also happens to be a very old-fashioned romantic, so this was a perfect gift for her). Inside, on one side, was a picture of her girlfriend -- and on the other was a picture of me, my sister, and our youngest sister all together, because her girlfriend understood we were equally important to her, and all belonged in this little space that represented her heart.

I know I'm lucky my sister is so great (and wants a partner who understands how much she values her other relationships), but I've had similar things happen with friends, too -- like the couple that asked me, their aro/ace friend, to speak at their wedding because they knew I would do a great job talking about how important found family is to them. And I hope that hearing at least a few stories about alloromantic friends and future family-in-law taking platonic relationships seriously helps a little with the onslaught of stories to the contrary, and maybe gives some of my fellow aspec folks a little hope that we can build our own unconventional "families" in place of the kind society insists on.

Saw a reddit post today about a girl who was upset that her childhood best friend replaced a photo of the two of them in his wallet with one of him and his girlfriend. And while yeah, she was being unreasonable with a lot of what she was saying, I totally understand the sadness of a friend "replacing" you with someone they have romantic feelings for. Makes it worse when the top comment is this

Every single comment on this post is about how family and romantic relationships always take precedence over friendships. I don't have anything more to say to this aside from the fact that... this is why it's hard for aroaces to imagine futures for themselves. Society drills it into your head that you're going to live in a world where you are no one's priority if you don't have romantic relationships and it fucking sucks

[krisdreaming]

Oh, also, I don't even remember if I've ever mentioned it, so sorry if it comes out of nowhere XD You just create such a safe space around your blog and I think you brighten up a lot of people's days, including mine. So thanks for sticking by and taking your time to chit chat with us, Kris 🥰 Maybe it's silly of me, because I still haven't even turned the anon option off, but it's just a nice feeling to know that somewhere there in the world is a buddy I can to talk to about a series and characters we both like and create imagines together (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠) Okay, I'm getting carried away and rambling way too much, so back to the main point before I lose the track again, I'm sorry XD

I'm really thankful for how open you are with speaking about ace stuff. Being one myself, it's so rare to stumble upon another ace person around me, like come on •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀

And lately, after years of dancing on the line in between being demiromantic and aromantic (both concepts, which almost none of the people around me seem to understand/accept); I came out as aroace.

And the flag is so colourful, I was honestly so surprised! My first thought was it's gonna be one of those on the darker side when it comes to colours. And it's not, what a nice plot twist XD

Anyway, if you made it this far, thank you for coming to my Ted talk, I hope my non-native speaking ass and that fast pacing bastard I call a brain - or rather last three remaining brain cells - still made some sense with all the word vomit that just happened.

Once again, excuse my randomness, but it's nice to be able to talk to someone and be understood.

I hope you're having a wonderful day 💕

- Kuroo anon

Ahh, you have no idea how happy this made me 🥰 I'm so so glad my blog can be a safe space to come and spend time! I'm always glad to chat with you, anon or not. I'm really happy that I've gotten to know you and we can share our love of Kuroo :')

I absolutely love being able to share about aro/ace stuff on here. It was something I never even anticipated when I started this blog, and I just love how it developed so naturally ^^ Congrats on coming out as aroace! I'm so glad you've found the label that's most comfortable for you. It can be tough! I'm still not quite sure where I fall on the aromantic spectrum myself, but I suspect it's somewhere between grayaro and aego.

It means so much to me that you've taken the time to send this message ❤️ I think your english is exceptional, and it's always just so lovely to hear from you, my friend.

I hope your day's been just fantastic as well!!

[nullians]

.

[qierxing]

Be Still, My Heart!

Yan!Twst Isekai AU

Pt.1 Persevere, My Player! | Pt.2 | Pt.3 Oh, Woe is me...

CW/TW: Strangulation, implied dubcon

It feels like time doesn’t pass the way you want it to. 

You want to breathe a sigh of relief when winter break rolls around, but there seems to be a strange heckling happening amongst Ace and Deuce, who both nag you to go join them in their respective homes for the holiday. The rest of the Heartslabyul gang join as well, stubborn about having to be separate from you, but Grim manages to fend them off, screeching that he would NOT tolerate having his henchman abandon him at Ramshackle. 

Their faces darken, but ultimately they each disappear in the mirror without more trouble. You can’t say that about Leona—he practically threatened to drag you with him to Afterglow Savannah to meet his family. What for, you have no idea. It doesn't help that Ruggie, despite being buried behind mountains of food, also bugs you to join them. Jack doesn't say anything, but you can see how his ears shift back as his tail wags apprehensively in anticipation. They both leave with tails between their legs at your shaking head.

And then it’s all too quick when you’re embroiled in Jamil’s plans and dragged to Scarabia dorm against your will. (You tried to fight against his magic, but you guess you don't have that kind of plot armor) Weird–you don’t remember Kalim being this enthusiastic about seeing you nor Jamil being this kind to you in the game. You try to enjoy the luxurious foods the Scalding Sands has to offer, but it's hard to do that when Kalim has practically pushed himself into your side, beaming and piling up your plate not unlike a hovering mother. You push to stop him, afraid of this outright favoritism further deepening Jamil's resentment; but you're shocked speechless when he just quietly refills your glass and tells you to eat more with a smile so genuine, you think you're dreaming. 

The brainwashing begins, but it seems only you are free from Kalim’s ire, and you’re unsure whether to be glad to be spared of the dreadful death march or fearful of the fact that his hand on your waist is tight and unyielding as he bellows out commands for his house mates. 

The obvious favoritism makes it that much easier to be alienated by spiteful and bitter Scarabian students and more painful knowing that Jamil was the cause of it all. And when Kalim’s eyes sparkle at you as the two of you soar in the night sky, your heart clenches as you think about how Kalim was so blind to Jamil's pain and anger. Or maybe he's choosing to willfully look away, afraid of what lies in his vice housewarden's eyes. Or is it just because he really is so innocent as a spoiled rich kid? You often wondered this when you read through the dialogue back home.

If there was one thing you hoped with all your might to change, it was the part where you crash into the Mostro Lounge. It may have been a foolish thought, but you really hoped that you would have better senses to control the carpet to escape back out to Ramshackle—but to no avail. And soon as your dizzy gaze clears, you’re face to face with three sharp grins. A fight ensues, as per the story, but what you did not anticipate was Azul kneeling down and cooing at how frightened you must be instead of insulting you in the game. The difference is chilling, in your opinion. 

Grim fills the trio in about your situation–even though you tried desperately to silence him–Azul's grin stretches wider and your heart drops.

"Why, we must lend a hand to help our dear classmates!"

You forgot how much Azul coveted Jamil in the game. Two kindred personalities: of course he would just be over the moon at the chance to rope Jamil into his house. But why is it that it seems that he has another motive for helping Scarabia?

There’s a kindling of rage in Jamil’s eyes when the five of you trot right back up to the snake’s den, figuratively speaking. It sparks and seethes when his eyes catch onto the way Azul’s arm is wrapped tightly around your shoulders and your defeated looking face. His fingers twitch, and you start to fear Jamil overblotting right then and there.

For once, Kalim’s disturbance is welcomed. He’s back to his usual self, grinning and beaming as he announces another feast. You wonder if you can beat a hasty retreat back to Ramshackle, but as the thought comes to your mind, Kalim grabs your hand and drags you to the lounge area, much to your chagrin. You’re sitting firmly in between him and Jamil, and the latter makes quick work to make sure you’re well within his coil to not make any rash moves to leave.

The Octavinelle trio makes quick work of sniffing out Jamil’s plan and soon enough, Jamil overblots, unable to take the fact he has been exposed. However, Jamil grabs you and sends the others flying. While you’re somewhat glad you’re not facing the fate of your fellow companions, you’d almost take being thrown than being in the grip of Jamil, whose snakes are winding their way around your limbs. It’s getting harder and harder to breathe and as tears flow down your face, Jamil smirks so widely, his bloodshot eyes dribbling black ink, and from there, it goes black.

You don’t recall what happened. If anything, you’re too scared to ask, because there’s a myriad of dark, diamond scale shaped bruises on your hips, your legs, your arms, and your neck. You can’t even speak, for one, because it feels like your throat has swollen and clogged. Jamil doesn’t meet your eyes and Grim doesn’t explain either, pupils looking guiltily to the side. Kalim is bawling, but you just want to go back home. You can’t, you can’t—

“Great Seven, [First]—!��� It’s Azul who notices first how much you’re hyperventilating and despite how much you thrashed, Jade and Floyd manage to pin you down to the stone floor. You think you hit your head. You might’ve bit someone, because the taste of iron still lingers on your tongue. But it doesn’t matter, because somehow they manage to knock you unconscious. 

You wake up a second time in the same familiar bed for the past few days. What you don’t expect is that Ace and Deuce are there, and the mere sight of them makes you hug them and start messily sobbing. By the time your tears have mostly dried, you’re so drained and tired that you can’t comprehend the dark look the two exchange. You know around this time Kalim is throwing another banquet to celebrate Jamil’s recovery, but you can’t even fathom finding the energy to attend. When Grim tells you about the party, you only quietly tell him to go on his own—you’ll be heading back to Ramshackle. Grim worriedly asks after you but you shake your head and tell him to have fun, that you’re just a bit tired.

Ace and Deuce escort you back, but they stubbornly insist on staying until you ‘feel better’. If it weren’t for the fact that you threatened to call their parents yourself and tell them they’re shirking their family celebrations, you might’ve had to continue to deal with the two. Finally, the silence that falls on Ramshackle has never been so calming, the creaking and groaning soothing your heart, a contrast to the dry brittle wind that blew through sand grains. 

A card is left on your doorstep, and you’re not even phased as you open it to read a ‘Happy Holidays from M.D’. You feel a twinge of guilt for not being able to greet Lilia nor Hornton, whose true identity you’re well aware of. As you ponder over the card, two shadows loom over you.

“[First]!” The card nearly crumples in your grip as you process the voice and look up to see the very two people you don’t want to see. Kalim grasps at your shoulders, ruby eyes glinting with sincere worry and guilt as he goes on and on about some kind of apology and wanting to repay you and you’re this close to having another meltdown when Kalim is finally dragged back.

“Give them some space, Kalim.” Jamil’s calm voice sends shivers down your back and you resist the urge to slam the door in both of their faces, if only to maintain a polite facade. You tell the two with a shaky voice that there’s no need for repayment but it’s overall steamrolled by the both of them finally in agreement over one thing: they have to repay for all you’ve done for the two of them.

They attend to you in bed, cook for you, and help you fix leaks and cracks in Ramshackle, but there’s a sense of unease always lingering. Maybe it was the distrust left over by dealing with Azul, but now, you’re more afraid of what you have to owe Kalim and Jamil for taking the time of their day to look after you. Even if Kalim smiles and hugs you so sweetly, even if Jamil brings you the most fragrant and delicious tasting foods, you can’t help but only feel overwhelmed. It’s only when duties call them back and Grim returns, that you can finally breathe easy.

The snow fall has stopped and the weather lightens in the coming days. When the Headmaster finally returns from his own vacation, you visit privately and request some more days off. He grants it easily, surprisingly, most likely at the haunted dead look within your eyes, and you lumber off to your dorm to seclude yourself. You don’t want to see anyone from NRC if you can help it. Grim doesn’t question the extended break, only glad for more days off.

The stories of the villains are unfolding, but it’s not unfolding the way you expected it.

“Hi there, my name is Neige! Neige Leblanch!” You’re standing in stunned silence as the RSA student beams at you. Of course you know who this man is. This…most definitely wasn’t in the story. Pomefiore’s arc—it hasn’t even started! Was Neige supposed to be on NRC’s campus this early in the game? 

“[First]…” You can only respond robotically. Actually, why is this guy here at Ramshackle grounds?!

“Sorry to bother you, do you happen to know where the main building is? I think I got myself lost.” He asks sheepishly, rubbing his head with his signature sweet smile. 

Of course, you escort him back to the main castle and the two of you actually hit it off rather well. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s actually genuinely kind and thoughtful and there isn’t anything you need to worry about in terms of faux paus. He gives you his phone number to call and text, despite your protests (after all, you don’t really want his adoring fans to come for your throat next), but he insists, taking your phone and inputting it himself. He finally waves goodbye, telling you to text soon. You want to be glad that you met him but…

There’s a small wiggling suspicion. The castle is so easily viewable from all parts of the campus—there’s no way he would have not seen it. Could he have…? No. You shake your head. In the end, there’s no way he, who was essentially Snow White's counterpart, would have asked you for directions with malicious intentions. 

Right?