#maybe im being unreasonable
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okay normally i like mark rober but what the FUCK is this?????
#im really hoping this was staged#like!!!! they were causing almost NO disturbance#maybe im being unreasonable#but somehow i think dumping popcorn on someone because they were on their phone is worse than them BEING on their phone#also im just thinking like#i have a lot of anxiety and get paranoid very easily#especially in spaces like theaters#so i have a whole collection of puzzle games i play since they help me calm down#we dont know WHY they were on their phone#and either way i dont see why its an issue#so long as their brightness is low and theyre not disturbing people then i dont get the problem#am i wrong here tho????#because i might be#but idk
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I'm so sick of reading or hearing people say "I like this thing but NOT in the most popular way, we are not the same!!" Like. Okay?? I'm sorry that you've had your interests torn down in the past and I'm sorry if that made you insecure about your interests and how you experience them now, but that doesn't mean you should make everyone else feel bad about what they enjoy too. It's like that TikTok trend about losing aura points, specifically the slideshow ones (idk if anyone will know what I'm talking about) where people are mostly just cringing at their middle school experiences, a lot of which a lot of people go through, and all the comments are often just bullying. It just frustrates me because why is expressing yourself a way you "lose aura"? Even if you don't relate to that version of you anymore, that doesn't mean you should bully a younger version of yourself. Obviously, these people are posting it about themselves, and I can't actually be upset at people making fun of themselves. It's just really annoying because it basically turns into bullying in the comments. Which is the type of thing that then spreads and makes bullying worse in real life. I thought the aura meme was kind of funny at first sometimes, but the more I see it the more it's about going into aura debt over something many people go through. Like you're not getting generational aura debt because you did something embarrassing in front of someone attractive one time on accident. I dunno, I should really get off TikTok but I am chronically ill and stuck at home so 😮💨
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Am I crazy or is it a bit stupid that the doctors office opens exactly when the first appointment is supposed to start. Like, I don't go to the doctor often, but I always schedule myself for the earliest appointment because I know that I am able to get myself to early morning things. But twice now, I've had to spend 15 minutes standing outside (once in the sun and I got sunburned and another time while we had a flash floods warning) because they don't unlock the door until the second my appointment is supposed to start. And it's a local clinic so I just walk the two blocks instead of trying to parallel park on a tiny street that's normally filled with resident's cars. Like, I don't want to take appointments away from people who could use them, but if they opened the doors fifteen minutes before the first appointment, that would have been a lot easier for me. Am I being a bitch?
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So in Alberta Canada, there are more than 80 forest fires burning across the northern half of the province, and at least 24 of them are out of control. And this is all in the last 5 days and it’s probably the worst we’ve ever seen.
So imagine my surprise when I finally get off work and check the Alberta tv news and THEYRE ALL COVERING THE GODDAM CORONATION. I HAD TO FIND OUT ON FACEBOOK THAT 2 OF MY FRIENDS FARMS ARE BURNING DOWN AND I CANT EVEN FIND INFO ON IF MY TOWN IS NEXT. This is so unbearably frustrating that I can find more info on the kings crown than I can accurate fire reports for my own community
#uk politics#coronation#alberta#forest fires#abolish the monarchy#british royal family#canada#do better#maybe im being unreasonable but I’m so scared
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congratulations! you’re a lesbian! you now have two options
- be hated and discriminated against for it
OR
- find “acceptance” through being objectified because lesbianism = two women to objectify at the same time instead of one!!
i have really loved dealing with this ever since i realized i was gay over a full 12 years ago!!!!!!!
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thinking about Bodkin again bc I mean,,, ALL THE SYMBOLISM OHHHHHGH. i NEED some tumblr film analysis hobbyists to watch this show and tell me all the themes n such
#yes I’m making all these posts in a row#it’s bc I’m obsessed atm#mypost#Bodkin#bodkin netflix#PLEASSEEEEE#WHY DID THE PAPER MACHE HEAD LOOK LIKE GILBERT#CAN WE HAVE AN IN-DEPTH CONVERSATION ABOUT EVERYTHING ABOUT GILBERT BEING FORCED TO SWALLOW/CHOKE ON HIS WORDS (recorder) BUT THAT SOUND—HIS#STORY (HIS pov. however ‘abstract’ and detatched from consequence it may have been) BEING WHAT CATCHES EMMY AND DOVEs ATTENTION TO SAVE HIM#. LIKE#OUGHHHHHWJEHQIHSJSBWJXNAJSNNQJZNWHXJWHXJEBXNDUSBJS#AND THE WOLF IMAGERY PLS SOMEONE TELL ME ABOUT THAT#IS THERE MORE THAN THE SURFACE? what do I not understand? as im writing this out am thinking: ok its cause dove is a lone wolf#WAITTTT WAIT OMFG AND when she remembers that her mom told her to howl when she was lost… bc wolves actually have family and I’m p sure the#lone wolf thing is a myth… after she realizes that she’s not alone and she can choose to interact#GOD GRAHHHHH IM GOING CRAZY OVER THIS SHOW#other things I’m thinking abt (will maybe make a post abt?)#OUGH YEAH OK dove symbolism: wolf/lone wolf. sunglasses/shielding herself (OUGH AND SHE PICKS UP THAT XTRA LAYER OF DEFENCE WHEN SHE COMES#BACK TO HOMELAND/familiar space… bc she’s vulnerable to her past here…. hrahhh#. also LMFAO when she calls the sheriff a piggy#hrmmmmm aughhh I want to dissect Gilbert and Seamus’s friendship oughhh#ok wait even more on Dove: I want to dig into when she calls Emmy Emmy vs Sizargd (will have to look up the spelling whoops) —was it always#blatant manipulation? how much of it is a reflection of what she is? hrmmmm there’s so much there I think#another Q: why did Emmy call the tech guy Shitpants again at the end? ik there were the stakes I just wanna dig into her character more. why#would she say the shitpants thing instead of manipulating him in other ways? (not saying her was was unreasonable at all lol-j wanna dig#into her character.#OH prob something abt the whole ‘her needing to release her anger’ thing? idk ahh I want to analyze her more
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I have an 8 hour flight on Friday and my brain says for the love of God just use it to whip the 8k you have of chapter 4 of the black sails fic into shape but my heart says give into temptation and start writing a wistful fitzier fic — but if I do that, if I give into temptation now, when will the black sails fic be finished if ever? These are such dangerous waters to swim in...
#BUT EQUALLY#ive got 4 comments on the last chapter of this wip#one was an incredible wonderful detailed comment#and the other 3 a couple of lines long at most#and im here like eh?#*i* know how this story ends - what do i owe anyone else?#and one of those comments i actually got this morning#and when i saw the notif in my inbox i thought pls be a meaty comment so you jump start my motivation to finish this fic#but alas it was 11 words long (most of which said i can't wait to see what happens next) so 🤷♂️#maybe im being unreasonable or greedy but#comments ARE what motivate me#so now here we are
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One of those days where I cant do a damn thing right huh?
#meow.#maybe i am just lazy#maybe my standards are too low?#im just being an unmedicated brat rn dont mind me#its kinda been all day with this feeling#ive just been frustrating to be around i guess#i need a nap#grumpy and sad and lonely#the hardest part of being like this is finding that balance between letting myself feel the emotion and get it out of my system#vs getting my shit together before someone sees and either thinks something happened or thinks that I think they were unreasonable...#in their frustration thus making them more frustrated at me as if they could actually think less of me (in my mind)#and also getting my shit together because i have SHIT TO DO#and I cant hide for 5 hours when theres dinner to be made ya know?
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God i hate the american education system
#About a lot of things but right now its about me finally re enrolling for my english degree and my advisor being like ummmmmm we need#Your ap scores to give you credit for english 101 like hey maybe the fact that my previous institution already did and and that i completed#Two almost three years of an english degree already means you should just fucking waive it its fucking english 101 😐#And im giving them my goddamn ap scores they have to go through paper mail for no good goddamn reason though so 😐 maybe ill just explode#Classes start in 12 days btw 😁😁😁#Im so sorry to my academic advisor because im gonna be fucking bitchy and its not her fault but christ#Also like. They want me to? Get syllabi from my previous classes or something too? Which thats. Unreasonable hello? I dont even remember#What professors i had for those or how to access a fucking? Years old syllabus? Hello?#Anyways good morning and since im talking about college everyone keep paying attention to and supporting palestine protests on campuses
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Hey, anyone wanna see someone react to the trolley problem as though they actually personally lived through it and were traumatised and and are irrationally upset at people talking about it like it's some funny haha meme but it's NOT A JOKE it was my REAL LIFE!!!!!
Just scroll down 👍
#nothing has ever happened to me lmfao i dont. know why im like this#the trolley problem memes sre funny though I like them#just not. any time a person tries to actually seriously answer the question hahahaha#IMPORTANT ADDENDUM: this is MY PROBLEM that I am unfortunately displaying for your viewing#I'm fully aware that I'm being unreasonable!!!!!!#maybe there is some value in humans admitting when they have unreasonable reactions but also stating that no external action is necessary?#like a teaching moment? modeling good behaviour r.e. Big Emotions...?#teacher's having a lie down. saw something on the internet and felt bad. time for distractions then itll be all good.
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so is it normal to be extremely pissy about a week after my period
#im noticing patterns. idk if the timing lines up w my period but it happens too often for it to#*to be coincidental#im just so unreasonably irritated and i feel myself getting really bitchy and i can’t be around my friends rn bc i feel like im just#going to be so unpleasant#maybe im just being dramatic. to be fair i am really bad at dealing with anger#but still#ugh#ramblings
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stumbled across the tiktok term "ingredients household" the other day. everything coming from that app makes me go insane. food is ingredients is ingredients is food the fuck do you mean. and i did look it up dont try to explain it i looked it up alr chill. im just venting here bc i think its stupid, nonsensical, and basically just means low/minimally processed so like. how are you gonna look at for example what i packed for lunch today and not see food in front of your fucking eyes. idk. yall are too much. whats actually not a real food is these "snacks" made in some factory providing you all the nutritional value of sand off the beach.
#ik im being unreasonably antagonistic about this but it is howyousay my tumblr blog so thats a bit moot#and actually common misconception: its cheap asf to buy vegetables#i got a gigantic heap of vegetables from walmart (im a walmart shopper now ik ik im poor af work w me here damn) for under $50#these highly processed foods that will have you feeling like assssss however. are like $5+/box/bag/whatever#are they more convenient? maybe. but fr doesn't have to be. like its an apple bro just eat it. i stg youll be okay.#next week well ease u into munching an entire head of broccoli away. chapter 3 is radishes. and so on#these are all snacks in and of themselves.....#< last tag sums it all up basically if u wanna skip past me losing my cool over tiktokker word-choice and then advance to nitpick my#imagination of others eating/grocery habits
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it might be stupid but im scared of having current himerus quote unquote real name revealed. its like a deadname to me
#points at the name being censored in ariadne. keep doing that! and maybe let them use whatever different name they want#choose a new one i mean. or something. this will never happen h ele would never do it i have clown makeup on#enstars#i just!!!! dont like the real you bs!!!! the self is more complex than that and also we already knkw meru discarded his family name#on purpose. he chose to do that#so what about their given name#im sorry of i sound unreasonable#hhhhhh
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dsgdfjhngfhfdg
#i try not to expect many people to remember my birthday but like#idk am i unreasonable for wishing my closer irl friends would at least remember?#ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#IDK I FEEL SILLY FOR BEING SAD ABOUT IT BUT#iunnooooooooooooooooooooooooooo#SORRY ive been so emo maybe im just pmsing idk
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don't know how to explain to people I love lots I feel constantly bitterly disappointed with how little care or checking in is done in my direction in the connection while also being hyper aware all these motherfuckers are autistic and I often fail in the same way with no ill intent, only burnout or hyperfocus. double standard bruh
#and also that like i dont hold it against them it just hurts in fhe moment and i think it would be better#if they knew that?#i simply feel my needs are unreasonable and unrealistic especially for other neurodivergent folks so#its a constant negotiation#and also i hate being caretaken or over checked#i just dont feel like many of us learn how to be real ans come into the present moment together#with grace and patience#and i do try my best to practice providing that space#but i get so tired#maybe im being self centered#its just a thing i need to unlearn low self worth#like please show me thru action that i am worth your time#or at least your communication about your availability#idk im trying to just let go of bad fits ans focus on the good people but that process is still painful#cPTSD#sucks!#recovery#PDA#pda autism
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:^(
#feelin like a big lonely loser tonight teehe ^__^#thought maybe i had plans but then not n everyone else i asked didnt answer or had plans w other ppl too#n i had suggested a plans with stef but she never rlly confirmed or denied but i figured not plus im kinda sick now too but#also called her just to be like hi n i miss u bc idk im SICK n i hate being sick n the way she sounded was weird AaagghGGHHHHH#n im just now realizing maybe she also ended up doing plans w other ppl#just feels like nobody likes me i GUESS which is dramatic but . aagggghhghgh#to be fair a bit of a 180 from i love u so much lemme say it 50 times last night to i call her n say ilu n shes like uhh ok haha#anD I FEEL LIKE EVERYONES GIVING ME RLLY SHORT ANSWERS N LIKE#but i dont know if i have the energy to give a lot of. energy. ?? to expect it back? but its like#an endless cycle of feel bad so less energy or want to bug less so then deserve less in return anyway so feel worse#its kinda feeling like isolation time which i havent done in a hot minute but i tried so hard to get out of it but like . for what yknow#i got to talk to some ppl some more n meet some ppl but at the end of the day i still feel alone n alien teehee#but maybe im just bejng dramatic bc sick. and rsd with the Tones and ppl having Plans With Others#like its perfectly reasonable to have forgotten or just idk had better options or maybe bc i didnt say anything sooner buT . IDK. 😔🥺#im sick n i hate being sick n i want someone to take care of me ugh#instead i just kinda sat here. played some OW. got mad at OW. ordered pizza to engage in basically food self harm LOL n watched some#of a show ive been meanjng to watch. jts neat so far. but yeah now i just feel like shit i guess#idk how to like. not be insane. or like. ask ppl for like. idk. reassurance or smthn or. share feelings. without feeling like i am.... bad#for doing so or itll end poorly or its excess or burdensome or unreasonable. bc it kkinda is unreasonable but idk not entirely ig yknow#and i really need to shower but i especially dont want to now that i ate food bc id rather die than look at myself naked but yea#YEAH. IDK. i feel. like shit. and garbage. and i can almost see this as being the turning point to me sabotaging my ownnpotential future#whatever ive been slowly building that i just. end up giving up now.#god i wanna call stef or pidge or someone n... ig not even talk abt this bc i dont wanna be a bother but. just hear ppl. u_u#feel like i am wanted in the world slepflsjhggbjwjr#It's My Blog I'll Use It As A Diary / Thought Organizing Thing If I Want To !!!!
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