#i have a lot of anxiety and get paranoid very easily

[dreamsy990]

okay normally i like mark rober but what the FUCK is this?????

[waywardsalt]

linebeck is probably so god damn paranoid all of the time

[pacifymebby]

Hi! I’m having a very hard time with anxiety at the moment I was wondering if you could do a peaky blinders characters (men) dealing with an anxious reader?

Hello lovely, I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time at the moment and I hope these HCs can bring you a little comfort!! Anxiety is a rotter and when it gets bad it can feel v overwhelming I know that myself, so sending you lots of love and hugs and vibes <3

Slight nsfw in some places.

Tommy

🌿 When you first met eachother you both tried to hide your dark sides from one another. Tommy trying to hide his criminal activity, his brutal kill or be killed philosophy and his nihilistic world view which allows him to be so callous and cruel when he needs to be.

🌿 You were just trying to be the kind of woman that wouldn't irritate him. For as long as you could remember you'd been an anxious person, timid, easily scared, always caught up in your own spiralling thoughts, as skittish as a foal. You didn't want to get in Tommy's way, didn't want him to think you silly or hysterical...

🌿 So you tried so hard to pretend to be just like the other women in his life, women like Polly, Ada and Lizzy who you were sure feared nothing and nobody. Bold women who spoke their mind without fearing the consequences.

🌿And Tommy would try his best to play the gentle, gentleman. He'd do his best never to raise his voice around you, to always speak a little softer. Always being careful not to worry you, not to let you see his concern.

🌿 Though neither of you realised it for a little while, you were both hiding your true selves from one another because you could see right through one another's little acts.

🌿 Tommy could see the fear in your eyes every time you entered a room, he could see how you did the same as him - checked for every exit, every potential threat, every place to hide. Except he could tell you were seeing threats he wasn't. He knew you weren't like Ada or Lizzie or Polly from the moment he first laid eyes upon you and talking to you, getting close to you, seeing the way you struggled to force yourself to look him in the eye only to tear your gaze away seconds later, well that only confirmed his suspicions.

🌿 And you knew all about Thomas Shelby, infamous ganster, the war hero who threw his medals into the cut, a man quite opposite to you, never fearful, always feared. So his gentleness towards you confused you, made your head spin, left you so bewildered and perhaps slightly paranoid that you were falling victim to one of his tricks, that despite your best efforts you couldn't live up to the ferocity and strong willed reputation of those other women at Shelby Company Limited.

🌿 So despite his best efforts to be kind and careful Tommy Shelby still scares you and you find your anxiety so hard to control around him...

🌿 And though anxious women aren't usually his type he's so drawn to you, his need to rescue you is too strong to ignore. You remind him of a baby bird, a little twitchy and nervous, delicate and precious. All he wants is to pick you up off the ground and treasure you. Make you feel safe all the time.

🌿 He knows exactly how dangerous the world can be for women like you so he can't ignore his protective urge, can't ignore his desire to have you and take care of you...

🌿 Much to your torment then he refuses to let you alone, you can feel his eyes on you whenever you're in the room with him, he never strays far from you and you feel self-conscious worrying what he must think of you being so timid so often.

🌿 But all Tommy can think about when he sees you shying away from others is how he can protect you, how he can get you to feel safe around him... he wants to be the person you feel safe around, the one you look to in a busy room to keep you grounded and calm...

🌿 Deep down Tommy probably knows he should stay away from you, keep you away from his world where you will be in danger all the time, but in true Tommy fashion he thinks he's the only person on the planet that knows how you feel, the only person who could possibly take care of you and be everything you need.

🌿 Very quickly learns the things which seem to set you off, the daily household tasks which you struggle with most and has them taken care of for you... He doesn't say anything to you about this, just quietly deals with all the things he knows cause you dread... It won't necessarily help you get better but he doesn't care so much about forcing you to get better, not if he can keep you happy by taking the stresses away.

🌿 He uses words of reassurance when he can tell you're anxious, he will go over plans meticulously with you if he thinks it will help. However he can tell when that won't help, when you simply need to be told not to worry about a thing. "Don't you think about that now sweetheart, you let me do the thinking on this one eh, when have I ever let you down before eh? Everything's under control, there isn't one single thing you could think of I haven't already thought of so just you shut your eyes, take a nice deep breath, and relax eh? For me?"

🌿 Tommy's very good at talking you down from your anxiety, he'll pull you in close to him, his arms gentle around your waist, his lips right beside your ear as he murmurs reassurance and love to you.

🌿 He will always speak so gently and so carefully to you, holding your hands or your cheeks in his hands, lightly stroking his thumb over your skin to sooth you. He will play with your hair and tuck it behind your ear, stroking your cheek. All these soft affectionate little touches to keep your attention on him and the present moment.

🌿 "Look at me angel, you look at me when I'm talking to you so I know you're listening to me right?" you're so often too timid to look him in the eye when he speaks to you that he always makes sure to get close to you, tilts your chin up so you're looking up at him, and when you try to drag your gaze away he chuckles softly, "cmon y/n I know you're not afraid of me..."

🌿 He always feels guilty when he has to host busy parties because he knows they'll have your nerves in pieces so he always makes sure to come and rescue you, sneak you off for a breather... he'll cut into the conversation you're having, "My apologies, may I borrow y/n for a moment..." with no intention of bringing you back. It always makes you jump because he always seems to sneak in out of nowhere but when you turn around and see him your heart sings!

🌿 He will take you down to the stables, or off into the gardens. The stables is your favourite however, and his too. He thinks its amusing, to sneak down their in your finery, the two of you dressed to the nines stepping through the hay. He'll place you down on a hay bale and admire the view, how pretty you look with your dress and your jewellery, all silky and sweet... and shy. Then he'll sit down beside you and take your hands in his and he'll apologise for putting you through another party. "Y'know I hate these things too, I'd happily burn that bloody ballroom down right now..." he'll be trying to make you giggle, trying to relax you.

🌿 He'll make you dance with him in the stables, sometimes in silence sometimes humming to you... He'll have you resting against him, your feet balancing on top of his to save your little slippers from getting dirtied. And he'll turn you in slow circles, kissing you every now and then, talking to you quietly about how lovely it will be later when everyone else has "fucked off to their own homes eh..."

🌿 Deep down he knows he can't protect you from everything however it's what he tells you all the time, and he definitely believes that himself too, he's determined you'll never be anxious again... But obviously thats not how anxiety works and when he can see that your anxiety has been building and building with no outlet for too long he has other methods of alleviating your stress... Tommy knows that sometimes the only way to dispel that sickening physical anxiety you feel is to scream...

🌿 So when its all becoming too much for you he takes you out riding on his fastest, wildest horse (not so wild of course that he can't control it and keep you safe, simply wild enough that you have the impression of being in a little danger) hell have you sitting in front of him, his arms either side of you caging you in securely, and he'll take you racing across the moors so fast it snatches your breath from you, you'll be screaming, heart racing, adrenaline surging through your body but by the end of it you'll be laughing and rosy cheeked and you'll feel safe in the knowledge that Tommy is there to keep you safe always.

🌿 He'll help you down from the horse and place you down on the grass somewhere in the middle of nowhere, hold you lying back against his chest whilst the two of you get your breath back. And knowing Tommy he'll try to give you some wise little speech about managing your emotions, about how your mind has a way of working against you sometimes, that he doesn't know why it happens - probably because it thinks its helping you to survive- but that sometimes it does and its alright as long as you can reason with yourself, know when your mind is lying to you.

🌿 He takes you down to the stables to meet the new foal and teaches you how to talk to her without spooking her, you watch him in awe as he whispered to her gently and coaxes the timid creature to him, and he turns back to you, his knuckles still brushing the foals face, "see, you're not the only one y/n, she like her peace and quiet too..." he teased beckoning you over to meet her, "here we are girl, brought someone to say hello, there there now don't be shy, it's alright girl, it's alright... This is y/n, she's just like you eh... So she's gonna take good care of you, cause she knows exactly how you feel..."

🌿 Yes, Tommy thinks horses cure everything.

🌿 If you get bad anxiety at night which stops you from sleeping he doesn't mind you joining him in his study. He hardly sleeps anyway and he knows it comforts you to be in his presence. So he keeps a blanket in his study and a rocking chair with cushions for you to curl up. He'll make you something warm to drink or offer you a nightcap and he'll let you sit up with him whilst he works quietly, the two of you in a comfortable silence until you drift off. He always makes sure to carry you to bed when you do eventually fall asleep and often your drifting off is what reminds him he needs sleep too. So you always wake up snuggled up beside him in the morning.

🌿 He'll read to you when you're worn out, or on the days when your anxiety has paralysed you and you can't muster the energy or the stillness of mind to leave your bed. He'll pull the covers back and rest your head in lap, get you wrapped up in the duvet and then sit reading to you, one hand in your hair fingers tangling with your locks as he strokes your hair.

🌿 "it's funny ain't it y/n, when people talk about Thomas Shelby they don't tend to talk about a gentle man...but this is what you've made of me ain't it... This is what you've done to me..."

🌿 Tommy will talk you up in a very measured but determined way, when you're anxious about yourself he will remind you of all your strengths and he'll reassure you that your perceived weaknesses are not weaknesses at all. "Everybody has weaknesses sweetheart, it's all about knowing how to light them up just right..." He's always reassuring you that the things you perceive as weaknesses, such as your anxious nature, are strengths when looked at from a certain angle.

🌿 And he'll never let you put yourself down, whenever you do start letting your demons get the better of you, he'll let you get it all off your chest but he'll never entertain your concerns, he'll be short and sweet about it, "It's funny you know hearing you say all of that with all of that conviction love, cause none of it's true is it?"

🌿 He never fails to let you know how proud of you he is. He's very fatherly in the way he guides you through challenges, always there to give you that little nod of encouragement, the hand on your pack to push you a pace forward when you hesitate. The warm smile, the quiet "atta girl" when you impress not only him but yourself too.

Alfie

🐻 You were Camden born and raised and your family were close with Mr Solomons. He'd known you since you were young and he'd watched a once somewhat precocious child grow to be timid, withdrawn and terribly reserved.

🐻 When you come to work for him as a secretary (a favour to your father who fears sending his timid daughter to work for strangers) Alfie is somewhat relieved to know he'll be able to keep an eye on you. Because he's always been fond of you... Your anxious nature has always brought out his tender side and despite everything, Alfie likes having someone to be soft with...

🐻 And he is so soft with you... It's almost embarrassing the way he treats you in comparison to everyone else and you're certain there's some resentment among the bakers because Alfie never raises his voice at you, never speaks sharply or cruelly to you. You get away with every mistake you make - and that's many because your anxiety has you so deeply in your own thoughts that often your fear of fucking up is what makes you fuck up.

🐻 But Alfie never seems to lose patience with you, he's always there to pick you up, guide you gently, fix your mistakes. "Never mind ziskeit, ain't no point crying over spilt milk... Although this here bread is a little more expensive than milk ain't it... Never you mind though yeah cause thats my problem ain't it, ain't your problem... You come with me yeah, into my office for minute, I'll get you a glass of somethin nice for those nerves of yours and we'll see you're feeling right as rain in no time at all my darlin..." he says putting his arm around your shoulder and guiding you away out of sight from any onlookers.

🐻 he can't help the affectionate way he feels towards you when he can feel you shaking like a little bird and the way he chuckles and says, "look at you, shakin like a little leaf caught in a very bad storm" makes you blush something chronic.

🐻 "Ain't no good at all that is it, nah ziskeit that won't do at all... We'll have to sort this out right away won't we, ain't no time to lose if you ask me..." he'd be tutting and studying your features, pinching your cheek until you smile, looking up at him shyly from under your lashes.

🐻 you've never been scared of Alfie Solomons, you've always known he was a friend to you, but that's not to say he didn't once intimidate you... When you first started working for him you used to jump out of your skin every time he spoke to you, and when he shouted at the bakers or when you could hear him ripping into someone in his office when a meeting had gone south well, he terrified you...Once... Not anymore...

🐻 Because whenever he saw you flinch at his raised voice he would apologise to you quietly, whenever he realised you'd probably overheard the goings on in his office, he'd have you brought to him and he'd spin you some yarn about the bad men he'd sent running for the hills. And he'd always take your cheek in his hand and stroke his thumb over your lips so gently when he spoke to you, told you that there was nothing for you to be worried about, that you'd find yourself held hypnotised by him. It would be impossible not to believe him and so you learned to look to him as your protector pretty quickly. He wouldn't have had it any other way.

🐻 He thinks you're like a baby bird and he tells you all the time, especially when he wants to tease you or see you blush. When he really wants to tease you he'll remind you what a precious young lady you used to be, he'll bring up all the times you gave the younger him a piece of your mind... "And some mind it is ziskeit, fuckin only God knows how scared of you I am..." he's only joking with you but the way he shudders makes you believe him. The wistful look he gets when he talks about the girl you used to be isn't lost on you though and you know he often wonders what happened to see you shrink into yourself the way that you have...

🐻 You're always anxious about getting in the way or frustrating him and so you almost always start your sentences with "sorry" and if you don't start your sentence with sorry it's because your sentence ends with "sorry" sometimes you start and finish a sentence with the word sorry... It drives Alfie up the wall and he makes a rule about "all this saying sorry unnecessarily when there ain't nothin to be sorry for..."

🐻 Whenever you apologise to him he gives you a little warning look, light-hearted enough but enough of a look that it stops you in your tracks. "Now now ziskeit, just what was it we agreed about that word?" "Uh.. if, if I say it I have to explain it?" "Right yeah, yeah that does sound familiar don't it... Yeah I'd say that is what we agreed... So... y/n ain't you gonna tell me then what you are saying sorry for today?" "Uh..." you always trail off because you never really know, saying sorry is just an anxious tick, one of those words which just slips out because you never really feel like you're doing the right thing...

🐻 "Right... Yeah, now thats exactly what I thought you might do y/n... That little trail off you just did there yeah, that's because you don't really know what you're saying sorry for right... And you know the reason you don't really know what you're saying sorry for yeah, is that there ain't no reason for you to be sorry at all..."

🐻 Naturally you open your mouth to say sorry, freezing with your lips parted halfway through the word when you realise what you're about to say... Alfie doesn't need to say anything, he'll just use his thumb to close your lips and give you a gentle pat on the cheek... "There..." he'll say softly, "that's better right, no more saying sorry... You ain't gotta be sorry to me for nothin ziskeit..."

🐻 Theatrical reassurance at the very least, this man will give you speech after speech after speech about how you should never be worried he's not going to want to see you, or talk to you, or be too busy for you, or be angry with you or anything... "Because you see ziskeit, and this is the thing right, this should have been inscribed by the finger of God on Moses' stones yeah... You are the light of my fuckin life right, and there ain't a single thing on this forsaken earth, not a single thing that could ever taint you in my eyes right... I am yours and you are mine and so that shall forever be..."

🐻 He likes to make you repeat that last bit for him everyday, just to make sure it really sinks in.

🐻 Alfie only teases you because he wants to try and build your confidence, he wants to coax that cheeky nature he knows you have out of hiding. So he gets a little playful with you sometimes, tricking you into letting your guard down, showing you it's alright to be yourself when you're with him.

🐻 Alfie praises you so much, he wants to make sure you know exactly how wonderful, how clever, how important to him you are... And the praise always makes you blush and shy away which is an added bonus for him because he thinks you're very pretty when you blush. He's always telling you how brave you are too, reminding you that you're ten times as brave as he is because you get through so many things that scare you, and you face every day even when every day things make you feel like hiding away for ever.

🐻 "As long as you ain't hiding from me my little ziskeit"

🐻 When you're feeling horribly anxious and sick Alfie will wrap you up tight in his arms, squeezing you in a big bear hug so that your body is pressed close to his snug and secure and he won't let go even when you try to pull away. He'll hold onto you and stroke your hair, lift you up off your feet. You can bury your face in his shirt or the crook of his neck and close your eyes or cry or just breathe in the smell of him to your heart's content.

🐻 He understands that you tire quickly, "I don't know my ziskeit look at you, gone an worn yourself out again... Come over here and rest awhile yeah, come curl up by the fire with your old man..."

🐻 He likes to have you curled up in his lap, the two of you sitting in his armchair by the fire in the lowlight of the evening or late at night when you can't sleep. The two of you will be listening to the crackle of the fire with Cyril curled up at your feet.

🐻 Alfie always pretends to be grumpy when Cyril, sensing your anxiety, abandons Alfie in favour of you. The sooky lump will plop his head down in your lap and nuzzle you until he gets your attention, draws you out of your negative thoughts to pet him instead... And Alfie will grumble and say things like "oh I might have known you'd abandon me - your devoted and loyal master for her you rotten old sook" but really he'll be glad to see Cyril offering you comfort, glad to see the smile warm your features when you begin defending Cyril, telling him not to listen to that grumpy old man who doesn't know anything.

🐻 "Oh is that what you think of me now ziskeit? Two betrayals in one evening, my godforsaken heart is in pieces, torn to shreds, you cruel cruel girl..."

🐻 At night he sleeps on his side with you nuzzled in beside him, his arm wrapped around you tight, the weight of his body leant gently against yours relaxing you as you fall asleep.

🐻 If ever any of the bakers do step out of line and snap at you, or if ever he hears them complaining that "that fuckin number girls always getting special treatment.." then Alfie likes to make a display of them, humiliating them in front of the rest of the men so that no one else will ever step out of line. "You wanna come up here and say that again?" He asks tapping on a barrel with his cane, making them get up on top to "present your thoughts to the room yeah? Cause not everyone heard you the first time and well, I'm sure it was important wasn't it... So I'm sure you'd like everyone to know exactly what you said just now about our y/n..."

🐻 And of course no man's ever stupid enough to get up there and repeat themselves. They only ever get as far as climbing up onto the barrel, hands trembling cause they're sure whatever comes next is going to hurt...

🐻 "Right... Yeah... Fuckin silence... Yeah I thought that might happen I did... You see your problem yeah mate, is that in this world right you've gotta pick one of two things right, you can either be fuckin stupid, or a fuckin coward... Now you can't be both right, you can't be both..."

🐻 Safe to say that what does follow makes sure they never say a word again.

🐻 When you do put yourself down, or he finds you getting yourself all worked up about a mistake you made or worrying that you're not good enough he will coax you over to him, get you as close to him as he can whether that's sitting you in his lap or towering above you, your body trapped between him and the wall, his knuckles beneath your chin..

🐻 "Now now my little ziskeit, what exactly have I told you about saying all these nasty, cruel things about yourself yeah? Now I wouldn't let anyone else get away with saying those sorts of 'orrible things about you would I? So how am I supposed to sit back and listen to all that without doing something about it? Will you tell me that ziskeit?"

🐻 Alfie can talk the hind legs off a donkey any day but when it comes to saying positive things about his lass he could talk for days, and he doesn't stop, all these meandering sentences laced with your praises, laced with teasing little threats too to warn you off ever saying those cruel things about yourself again... "Next time I catch you saying 'orrible things about yourself my girl I'll have to make sure you remember the rules right?"

Arthur

🍂 At a glance and certainly judging from his reputation you might assume that Arthur Shelby hasn't got an anxious bone in his body. That he's never experienced anything close to the full body panic which grips you at the slightest sense of uncertainty...

🍂 Especially because Arthur is well aware of the reputation he has as a blazé trigger happy thug and just how important it is that he keeps that reputation up... Arthur makes a show of being reckless, of brushing off everyone else's concerns with a shrug of his shoulders...

🍂 No matter what it is you're worrying about, no matter what it is that has your head spinning and foggy so that you can't think straight for all the fuzz, Arthur always says the same thing...

🍂 "Now don't you worry about a thing my love, nowt bads gonna happen to you my darlin, you're with the peaky blinders, everything's gonna go your way"

🍂 And sometimes it's enough to see someone else so confident, so self assured, sometimes his high energy levels, his apparent through the roof self esteem is enough to lift you out of your anxious pit... Enough to settle your nerves... Because if there's one person you know is always going to win a fight, always going to protect you... It's your Arthur...

🍂 But sometimes it's not enough and seeing him shrug off your worries just upsets you, makes you all the more scared... Makes you worry about other things you hadn't been worrying about before... Like what if you're too meak for him what if he's going to get sick of having a lass who's so "cowardly" and "pathetic"....

🍂 And because you're upset but also worrying about these other things you'll try not to show it. Try to keep it all bottled up, you get quieter, you start avoiding him (which is difficult because Arthur doesn't like to go a day without seeing you!) Trying your best to stay out of his way... Sometimes when you watch him, the way his confidence, his outrageous personality take over a room, the way he snatches up everyone's attention so easily, so proudly, makes you feel a little unworthy of him...

🍂 You love to see him so buzzed and lit up but it makes you a little sad because you know you can never be the same, you think you could never have that kind of spark, that ballsy charisma... That in comparison to him you're nothing but a timid little mouse that most people wouldn't even notice...

🍂 But the thing is Arthur knows more than anyone just what you feel like, how torn up and terrified you feel on the inside, because more often than not Arthur feels it too! He's always so so scared of letting everyone down, scared that he's too much, too volatile, too unpredictable, that he's going to put the family at risk by being stupid, by making the wrong move or by letting his fear and PTSD "get the better of him"

🍂 He's spent years trying to bottle all those emotions up just like Tommy always told him, have a drink and push the feelings down... Grit his teeth through the pain... But he can't. And so he knows just how you feel and he wishes he could find a good way to tell you but he isn't any good with words, so instead he tries his best to help you when he can through his actions.

🍂 Arthur wishes he could hug and kiss your troubles away, wishes that one lingering forehead kiss could cure your nerves, soothe those shivers... But he knows it can't... still that doesn't stop him from trying. He's a little clumsy sure, sometimes he makes you jump when he puts his arms around you and squeezes you tight sure, but nothing can make you feel better like one of Arthur's "everything will be alright" hugs. His mustache tickling your cheek as he kisses you and tries to reassure you, tries to soften his gruff tone for you talking as quietly as he can in your ear.

🍂 Arthur hates seeing you cry, hates seeing you look so scared but you so often do and it hurts his soul to see you in pain, he will do anything he can to try and make you feel better and so he is always bringing you little gifts, always trying to tell bad jokes to make you laugh, always trying to offer you reassurance... Although he doesn't like to focus on the things that make you anxious, he'd rather brush them off so that perhaps you won't give the thoughts so much gravity.

🍂 When you do look up at him with teary eyes though and he realises his assurances aren't working the way that he wants them to he'll take your cheeks in his rough palms and hold your face as carefully as he can, he brushes your tears away with his thumbs and presses a long kiss to your forehead. "Come on now my darlin don't you cry, no tears eh you're with me ain't you, so everythings alright... I know I ain't the friendliest man but you know I'll always look after you eh, you're my girl ain't you, so I'll always look after you..."

🍂 The first time you have a panic attack in front of him you're terrified he's going to think you're insane, scared that he'll think you're hysterical and slap you the way men often do to hysterical women, but when he sees you shaking, the tears streaming down your cheeks as you drop to the floor he recognises the emotional agony in you as something he's been through himself many times before...

🍂 And so he knows exactly what you need, how you need someone to be careful and gentle with you, how you need to be held, your head cradled to him as he gets down on the floor with you, slips his legs beneath yours and bundles you carefully into his lap. He keeps you close to him, reassuring you, telling you to breathe with him, telling you it will pass soon enough and that he's with...

🍂 "Salright my darlin I've got you ain't I, I'm here and I ain't goin nowhere, you're gonna be alright eh, I'm here... Me an you eh, we'll get through this together won't we..."

🍂 He lets you cling to him like your life depends on him, and in that moment it really feels like it does, like he's the only thing grounding you, like without him this horrible feeling would swallow you whole and trap you in a nightmare forever. But Arthur won't ever let that happen to you.

🍂 He'd kiss your hair and rock you, hold onto you for as long as you needed, he'd shush your crying but he'd let you get it all out of your system because he knows how awful it feels to be told to swallow it down.

🍂 And when you were ready he'd ask you what happened, what sent you spiralling and if you wanted to speak he'd listen, concentrating hard so that he can remember every detail, so that he can try and stop it from happening in the future.

🍂 But if you didn't want to talk about it that would be alright too, he'd make a little joke "shit at talkin anyway are I..." he'd wink, hoping to draw a smile on your tear stained cheeks. He'd be so gentle with you, wiping your tears away and then laughing at the dirt he's accidentally smeared across your cheeks.

🍂 He is unfortunately the king of unhealthy coping mechanisms and he would absolutely think he was doing a good thing pouring you a whisky for your nerves... He'll pour the both of you a glass and sit down beside you on the floor, he'll clink them together and help steady your hand as you take a tentative sip.

🍂 When you try to apologise for being dramatic he'll get annoyed, he'll try not to snap at you but it'll certainly come out as a grumble when he tells you not to talk "any of that shite..." It's only because he doesn't want you to put yourself down, only because he hates the people who would let you believe that you were being hysterical or dramatic.

🍂 And then he'll confess that he knows how you feel, knows what that feels like when you feel like the whole worlds ending, that he wouldn't wish that feeling on his worst enemy... That he's only sorry he couldn't do more to help you through it... That you're to tell him if that ever happens to you again because he never wants you to go through it on your own...

🍂 You're really quite shocked to know that your Arthur does in fact have his fair share of fears and doubts but him being honest with you helps build the trust between you so that it runs all the deeper and you become accustomed to depending on him, turning to him whenever you feel even the slightest hint of anxiety.

🍂 He's always there to reassure you that you're perfect the way you are, that you aren't getting in his way, that of course he loves you just the way you are, that you're not letting anyone down... And having someone look up to him the way that you do, does wonders to his own self esteem, knowing he's got someone who depends on him, who trusts him, thinks the world of him, thinks he's the bravest person they know, makes him feel fucking brave and dependable and strong.

🍂 At parties and late nights down the Garrison he'll order your drinks for you, he'll keep you tucked up under his arm all night and he'll introduce you to more of those unhealthy coping mechanisms (staying up all night, drinking, smoking, dancing.... having rough risky sex in other people's bathrooms whilst dazzlingly drunk)

🍂 Will not however let you touch the snow because "see that stuff right it's fuckin amazin but it's fuckin horrible stuff an all, devils stuff, tricks you right, makes you feel on top of the fucking world and then it drops you down in bloody hell and abandons you there and I don't ever wanna see you endin up there my darlin..."

🍂 And if anyone ever says anything about how quiet you are, or how youre always hiding away, how you ain't much of a peaky blinder, Arthur will shoot them that warning look, silencing them in seconds. His eyes growing dark, threatening, looking to the culprit with unforgiving malice in his eyes.

🍂 So people quickly learn that if they haven't got anything nice to say about you they'd better not say anything at all. And the more time you spend with Arthur the more his wild side rubs off on you... Your anxiety never disappears, but some things do get easier with your Arthur by your side because you know he'll never abandon you or let you fall back into that darkness again.

🍂 And Arthur finds that his own anxieties are quelled too, that through loving you he learns that he can be soft, gentle, kind, nurturing, all the things he thought he was incapable of... He learns that he isn't the monster he has grown to believe himself to be... That he has a heart just like any other man, that he is loving.

John

🌼 Now John really doesn't have an anxious bone in his body. If he wants something he goes after it never stopping to question whether he's got ideas above his station, never stopping to question whether or not people will still like him if he prioritises his own needs...

🌼 That's the polar opposite of you and you know people must wonder why you're together, what he sees in you... Why he hasn't left you for someone more suitable, someone a little more fierce...

🌼 Because it is obvious, to everyone, how different you two are and even though John lives in his little world of optimism, despite his own lackadaisical nature, even he's noticed the way your shoulders are always tense, the way you hold onto things too tightly. The way you never stop counting the little ones, even when it's just the family at home.

🌼 At first he thought you were just an attentive mammy, but he's seen the fear in your eyes when you miscount because you're tired, or when one of the kids is hiding under the kitchen table and you lose sight of them for a moment. He's seen how quickly you pale and think the worst, how the tears rush to your eyes...

🌼 And he's felt the way you jump sometimes when you're tired and he's crossed the kitchen to your side a little quieter than usual, when you weren't expecting his arm to snake around your waist to pull you away from the dirty dishes and into him.

🌼 The way sometimes your eyes get this distant fear in them and you stop hearing the things people say to you because youve been sucked into another hole of anxious thoughts spiralling out of control in your mind...

🌼 He'd been drawn to you because you seemed so quiet and sweet, because you blushed every time he spoke to you, because you always looked so lost for words whenever he asked you a question or tried to tease you... You'd been unlike any other woman he'd ever been romantically interested in and that had felt like a challenge... A fun little game to play...

🌼 But the more he'd gotten to know you and understand the kind of lass you really were, the more the urge to protect you, sweep you up off your feet and soothe your worries, grew. The more he wanted to be the one you depended on. The one who could get you to relax a little, the one you felt safe around. He just wanted to give you a warm, loving home where you would feel safe...

🌼 He's so cheeky and always teasing you and his jovial nature makes it hard not to trust that everything will be alright, he believes that so firmly himself afterall... Sometimes his laidback nature is too much and you get stressed he doesn't seem to be planning or taking things seriously enough, however when you do snap or cry he can reassure you completely. Hugs, forehead kisses, an easy laugh as he pats your cheek and tells you everything's under control.

🌼 He will always step up to be the life of a conversation or party so that you don't have to, he'll include you in the conversation by slinging his arm around your shoulder and squeezing you into his side, occasionally looking down at you to lock eyes when he makes a teasing comment or a joke made only for you... Has a way of making you involved even when youre shying away from the conversation.

🌼 He's really proud of you, his "beautiful, beautiful flower!" And will shower you with praise all the time, he'll never let you or anyone else forget how important you are and he's always singing your praises, telling everyone what a brilliant mammy you are and how much the kids (and him) adore you, he won't let you or anyone else doubt you for a second!

🌼 He's a very chaotic man, very spirited, and boyish... He often takes a joke to far or gets a little too boisterous, and sometimes when you're feeling easily overwhelmed, senses working overtime, it can all get a little too much and John has to calm down so that he can calm you...

🌼 Sometimes John swears he can see your pulse racing in your throat as your eyes flicker around the room. You're constantly counting the little ones to make sure they're all there... He'll joke with you, come up behind you, hands on your shoulders giving you a little massage all "Relax would you sweetheart, this is a party... You don't need to worry about the kids we're all family here, they're perfectly safe..."

🌼 But when he bows his head to steal a quick kiss from your neck he really does feel how your pulse is racing and your body is shaking and when you turn to him with tears in your eyes he's really taken back.

🌼 "What is it love what's the matter?" Of course the moment he realises how frightened you are he stops his teasing, his brows knitting to a frown, his hand leaving you and reaching into the back of his pants for the gun he keeps tucked away just in case... "Is something wrong?" He asks in that tone which you know is reserved for only the most serious of situations and you feel so ashamed and embarrassed because this isn't a dangerous situation at all, you know it's not...

🌼 So you shake your head quickly and push away from him apologies tumbling out of your mouth quietly but dramatically, much more dramatically than you'd like... "Sorry... S.. sorry John this is just... Too much it's too much..." and just like that you're fleeing, out of the crowded kitchen and into the garden where the rain has sent the mud flowing over the stone path.

🌼 When these sorts of things happen and you run away from him in a panic, John sobers up to the situation pretty quickly, following after you, losing that boisterous streak, softening for you because he knows you need his softer side...

🌼 He'll find you outside in the rain and try to shield you from the weather with his body as best you can, gathering you towards the shade of a tree or the awnings of the roof. Somewhere out the rain, somewhere it can be just the two of you.

🌼 He'll wipe your tears with his sleeves and hold your face in his hands gently guiding your gaze up to meet his, "Why'd you runaway from me flower?" He asks even though he knows the answer now, realises that you had one of those moments where everything just became too much for you, the busy room, the noise of the party, the chatter, bodies having to squeeze by one another and around the furniture... It had all been too much and for a moment you'd lost yourself... And he hadn't noticed your panic until it was too late so he'd not been able to help...

🌼 "I'm sorry sweetheart, I didn't see it..." he'd sigh brushing your tears with his knuckles, pushing your hair from your face and kissing your forehead before giving you a warm gentle hug, completely surrounded your body with his as he holds you close. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, nuzzling into his shirt as he holds you steady and still. You feel better just for having his arms around you outside in the rain.

🌼 The garden is so peaceful, the pitter patter of the rain off the cobbles, and as John holds you close you feel yourself begin to calm down, your shoulders relax and your head stops spinning. You don't feel so sick anymore and you rest your body against his.

🌼 He doesn't like it when you try to say sorry after your "moments" as he calls them, doesn't like to see you looking guilty when he blames himself for you getting overwhelmed. He'll always tell you, "wasn't your fault sweetheart, don't say sorry for things that ain't your fault..." and then he'll make you promise that next time you'll find him before it gets too much so that he can rescue you in time.

🌼 John is very sensual, and whilst he might be a little boisterous and laddish his healing/love language is definitely physical touch... The signs of your anxiety which he notices first are always physical and his first instinct is always to try to soothe these physical signs...

🌼 He'll run you a hot bath for the two of you to share when the kids are all asleep (he'll have made up some silly story to keep them all in bed and quiet too) and he'll have you lie down between his legs, your head resting in the crook of his shoulder.

🌼 He'll run his hands over your shoulders and down your arms, massaging you in all the places you feel tender and sore, all the places he can feel tension...

🌼He'll bathe you, washing you gently, washing your hair and brushing it for you, wrapping you up in towels afterwards, carrying you to bed, smothering you in kisses, tickling and teasing you, physically relaxing you completely... Hovering above you in bed, scattering kisses along your shoulders up your neck to your lips...

🌼 John definitely knows exactly how to fuck the tension out of you and he's very talented when it comes to replacing that anxious head spinning fuzz with a blissed out kind of cloudiness instead.

🌼 If your adrenaline is all fired up and you've been restless and anxious all day he will have you lie across his lap, or have you sit between his legs so that he can let his fingers tease and then fuck that anxious adrenaline out of you...

🌼 He knows exactly how to take care of you when he's physically tired you out, scooping you up in his arms, letting you sleep with your head on his chest, his fingers stroking soothing patterns on your back until you fall asleep. .

🌼 He's always taking on that patriarchal roll, reminding you that he's your man, that that means it's his job to take care of you and look after you... So you can trust him to do just that...

🌼 "I'm your man eh, so trust me..." He'll say holding your cheeks in his palms, close enough to you that his nose is brushing yours as he looks at you not quite serious and not quite joking either. He'll pat your cheek and flash you a winning smile and when he's feeling particularly cheeky and he can tell he hasn't quite won you over he will bring the kids into it too...

🌼 "Katie love come 'ere for a second sweetheart, come say hello to your mammy..." he'll say scooping her up in his arms so that she's resting on his hip between the two of you. "Katie love, dya trust your daddy?" He'll flash you a cheeky smile when she giggles because you both knew she was going to say "Yeah!" Before he'd even asked the questio. "See flower... Katie trusts daddy, so you can trust him too eh"

🌼 John will absolutely make the most inappropriate dad jokes to try and lighten your mood and even when you feel sick with anxiety you can't help but smirk at some of them. They're terrible.

🌼 Whenever you put yourself down John never seems to take it too seriously, not because he doesn't care that you don't think very much of yourself but instead because he can't imagine a world in which any of the things you say are true... He'll laugh your negative self talk off light-heartedly, shake his head, hold your face in his hands as he gives you a kiss and says "sweetheart if you believe all that you're crazier than I thought..."

Bonnie

🍀Is such an observant lad that he tuned into your anxious ways within moments of resting eyes upon you. The way you would sit fidgeting, never able to look at anyone around you for fear they'd meet your gaze, the way he often saw you tugging on your sleeves or chewing your cheek, biting at the tip of your thumb or your cardigan hem.

🍀He saw how you would shy away from others, how you tended to keep to yourself and that if you ever did cross paths with someone else you only ever seemed to manage the word "sorry" as if you were apologising just for being near them..

🍀 He recognises the fear in your eyes when people start gossiping about the peaky blinders, notices how whenever you meet his gaze accidentally you try to hide yourself away... You seem so timid to him, so delicate... All he wants is to take your hand and show you you don't have to be so frightened all the time.

🍀 He's careful, watching you the way he'd watch a foal before trying to approach it, learning your anxieties by watching how you interact with others so that he knows how to go about befriending you without scaring you off.

🍀Watches over you from afar like the guardian angel you don't even know you have... If he hears someone ask you to go into the forest to collect some herbs, or into the city to buy bread, he will come to your rescue either by insisting he take you himself or simply by sneaking off to complete the errand before you even had the chance to start it.

🍀 He gifts you something like a rabbits foot or a four leaf clover to give you good luck and protection, tells you you're his lucky charm too. Something small and sweet that wouldn't mean alot to anyone else but makes you feel that little bit braver when you're trying to face the world.

🍀 Brings you lavender which he makes into an essential oil for you. He knows a lot about different herbs and plants that can be good for relaxing/soothing you. His dad taught him to brew chamomile tea too, whenever he can tell you're having a bad day he'll make this for you without even needing to ask, he'll just bring it to you and force you to stop whatever it is you're trying to do/ fretting over to take a break with him instead.

🍀 He's seen the way your anxiety makes you irritable, seen you muttering to yourself I'm frustration when your day is going from bad to worse and he can't help but think you're adorable... Still, when he sees you snap his heart breaks for you and nothing can stop him coming to your rescue.

🍀It happens one day, you're only trying to fold the clean laundry, taking it down from the line and shaking it out, but the wind is making your task harder than you can handle, blowing your hair in your face, blowing the sheet into you blinding you so that you can't see where you're treading. And when you trip and fall and land clean white sheet down in the dirt you find you've reached the end of your tether and just like that you burst into tears.

🍀You're not crying because the sheets dirty, you're crying because finally all that anxiety and tension you've been trying to bottle up for days now has bubbled over, the shock of your fall and the frustration of the wind blowing you about was enough to send the rest of your emotions cascading down on you like a tonne of bricks. So you just sit there in a heap, crying in the dirt...

🍀Until Bonnie sits himself down beside you, a cheeky but careful smile on his lips as he reaches for your hand.

🍀"What're we doing down here then eh?" He asks, looking at you with gentle teasing eyes, showing you he understands without a word. You just look back at him despairingly, feeling so hopeless and frustrated, your eyes spilling over with tears. You raise the dirty sheet up in explanation and he chuckles. "Well I reckon this'll need washed again won't it, I certainly ain't sleepin on that..." he says taking your fingers and unlocking them from where you'd been clutching at the sheet.

🍀"Never you mind that though little dove," he says shuffling up to sit closer to you, his hand rubbing your back soothingly, "you ain't in any sort of state to be washin sheets are ye?" He'll tease you a little about your sorry state but only ever gently, and he'll never let you feel useless or like you're letting him down. He'll always make sure you understand that actually it's the complete opposite.

🍀 Pulls you up into his lap right there in the grass, holding your face in his hands so that he can look at you and dry your tears. Kisses your nose and then your lips. "S'alright little dove, don't worry about the washin eh, worry about spending the rest of your afternoon with me..." He'll help you with your chores, which probably would have made them take ten times longer, had you been in any state to do them at all.

🍀 Then when you're finished (or when he's finished, having done most of the work for you) he'll take your hand and lead you away from the camp, somewhere you can be alone for awhile. Somewhere no one can burden you with anything else.

🍀 He knows that one of the best things for your anxiety is to tire you out, physically rather than emotionally. So he takes you down to the river to go swimming, splashing you and playing with you in the stream until you're laughing and giggling. He'll sneak up behind you and wrap his arms around you, kissing your shoulders and pulling you back to float with him in the water. Holding you with your legs wrapped around his waste as he carries you back to the bank, lying with you in the grass as you dry off, peaceful and quiet...

🍀He'll have you to sit so quietly with him listening to the different sounds of the woods. He'll teach you the different bird calls and then get you to tell him in future when you're anxious, he'll ask you what bird it is he can hear and it will force you to be grounded for a moment. Lights up with praise when you get it right.

🍀 You'll be lying with him in the grass, the sunlight through the trees warming you both as you dry, his hands wandering your body beneath the shirt he's lent you. His touch is so grounding and the way he holds you close to him makes you feel so safe and secure. He'll make up stories for you as you dry off, telling you tales about the forest, some of them silly to make you laugh, others romantic, about secret lovers stealing away between the trees. These stories are usually whispered in your ear between soft little kisses along your neck, sweet little distractions to take you as far from your anxieties as he can.

🍀 If you ever get the kind of anxiety which freezes you and makes it impossible for you to look after yourself properly Bonnie will excell at playing the patriarchal provider. He can cook and clean pretty well and he loves to look after you and spoil you anyway, so when he can see you're struggling he'll swoop in and save you without you having to ask. He makes you soup and serves it in your favourite mug then sit with you outside whilst you drink it together. He'll do things like wash and brush your hair when you're struggling and the feeling of him combing his fingers through your locks is so soothing for you both.

🍀 One of Bonnie's love languages is definitely physical touch and this is one of the only ways he knows how to sooth your anxieties. He is always showing you physical affection to let you know that he's there for you..

🍀Forehead kisses, hand holding, drawing circles round your palm, playing with your fingers to distract you. He likes to slip one arm around your waist or shoulders whenever you're standing together, holding your body against his so that you can feel him behind you. It's a protective thing, it doesn't just soothe your anxieties but also his. Makes him feel good to be looking after his girl.

🍀 When you're feeling anxious you have a habit of sucking your thumb or fingers, a lot of the time you don't notice yourself doing it but Bonnie knows that you don't like to be seen doing it by anyone else. That it embarrasses you because you think it makes you look childish. So as much as he thinks its kind of cute when you're sucking your thumb, if there's other people about he'll hold your hands and play with your fingers so that you don't suck your thumb.

🍀 Alone at night however, when he can tell you're struggling to calm yourself he will slip his thumb into your mouth for you to suck on him instead.

🍀When you go to sleep at night Bonnie has you sleep with your body on top of his so that your chest is against his and your heartbeat syncs up with his. He likes to be able to wrap his arms around you and hold you down against him, you using his body as your pillow, him able to kiss your hair as you drift asleep. It's the best place for you because it means you can feel him close to you and he knows he's right there if you need him.

🍀 He gives you soft but firm praise whenever you're alone together and you're anxious about your relationship or showing him affection. For as much as he finds your apparent shyness adorable, he wants you to feel safe enough to ask and tell him whatever you want. And he needs you to know how perfect you are to him, needs you to know that he's there for you always. So he's constantly offering you the reassurance you need and always there to tell you how proud of you he is or how good you've been.

🍀 "That's my girl, what did I tell you eh? Perfect little dove, that's what you are..." "Tell me what you need sweetheart, c'mon look at me darlin, talk to me... How can I help? There we go see, wasn't so hard was it dove? Good girl...."

Isaiah

🐀 Isaiah is not wonderful when it comes to recognising anxiety in other people. He just thinks you're a bit timid is all. A bit jumpy. He presumed it's because you know he's a blinder and that that makes your nervous. It takes a long time for him to realise that its anything more than that due to the simple reason that he's doesn't notice it himself and you are far too anxious to tell him about your troubles.

🐀 He affectionately nicknames you his "little mouse" and is always making teasing little remarks about how cute and mousy you are. It gets under your skin at first because you can't tell if he's taking the piss or if he means it when he says you're adorable... But Isaiah never stops, he's actually spurred on by the blush you get, the way your brow furrows into a little frown because you don't know what to say to him.

🐀 For all his teasing though he likes to try and keep an eye on you, make sure you're always at least still smiling. He's not shy about showing you he's there for you and you only either, he'll be next to you in every conversation, he'll answer for you when you hesitate or don't say anything at all. If ever you're talking and other people stop listening to you he's always there making eye contact and nodding, picking you up if others let you fall.

🐀 You spend a really long time hoping that your anxiety will just go away, that one day you'll wake up and you won't have that fuzzy sick feeling in your stomach which has a habit of paralysing you in social situations. But of course that's not how anxiety works and the longer you ignore it the worse it gets.

🐀 Until Isaiah does begin to notice that something is wrong. Because you're growing quieter, more mousy by the day and sometimes when you're out in public he swears he sees you searching for the quickest means of escape.

🐀 At first he doesn't know what to do about it, he can tell that you're troubled but he doesn't know how to get you to open up to him or admit that something is wrong. If you were anyone else, any other graft he would probably just leave you to it, wouldn't pry too much, wouldn't really be that interested in hearing your troubles... But you're not anyone else, you're you, and he has a strong patriarchal urge to protect you, take care of you.

🐀 So he has to be persistent. He tries to tease it out of you, tries to make relentless little jokes to force the issue, doing things which will leave you floundering in the hopes that you'll reach some kind of breaking point and have to explain yourself...

🐀 But it doesn't get that far because he can't stand the guilt he feels when he sees you start to get stressed out, when he sees your expression waver, your eyes growing watery, your hands beginning to tremble. So one day instead of making a dig at the way your hands are shaking when he's talking to you, he takes your hand in his instead. Holds it between both of his and let's out a little sigh.

🐀 "What's the matter love?" He honestly feels a little useless for having to ask, feels like really he ought to know without you telling him. After all you're his girl and he shouldn't be so clueless about your feelings. At least not as clueless as he is now. And of course you try to shrug your shoulders and pretend like everything's fine, you don't want to make him feel bad by admitting the truth.

🐀 But he isn't going to let you kid on and shrug him off so he shakes his head, his frown showing you he's being serious for once. "Don't give me that love, you're my girl ain't you, you tell me the truth..."

🐀 When you do try to tell him you struggle to get the words out, struggle to say it in a way that you think will make sense to him. But for all that Isaiah is often confident and cocky, he understands more than you realise. He knows how it feels to worry before he walks into a room, understands that edgy feeling of uncertainty.

🐀 And even if he can't exactly empathise, even if he knows he's never felt the fear you feel about entering social situations, never been frightened the way you are of busy rooms or men who raise their voices... That doesn't stop him from caring that you do feel that way, doesn't stop him wanting to help you...

🐀 He won't know exactly how he can help but he also won't be afraid to ask you what you need. "Let me help you darlin, tell me what you need..." He'll want you to tell him exactly what he can do to help and then he'll make sure he does every single thing. He surprisingly matter of fact about the whole thing.

🐀 He's kind of accepted that he doesn't get it therefore rather than question you when your anxiety starts playing up, or when you get anxious about something he thinks is actually pretty trivial, he just accepts that you feel the way you do and comes back with "well how can we make this easier?"

🐀 Please I know this is rogue but I really think if anyone was going to CBT you it could be Isaiah? I feel like he'd be really good at setting it all out like, he'll be the most "What is it you're worried will happen? Okay well, here is this other scenario which is pretty mundane but much more likely than all that you've just thought up... Cause if life was how you keep worrying it's gonna be, then I'd be pretty fuckin anxious all the time too Mouse..." I just think he'd be like, matter of fact, but light-hearted and jokey enough to actually really be able to help you rationalise and unlearn negative thought patterns... Which I understand sounds crazy because he's such a hothead in the show...

🐀 To add to that I think a modern day Isaiah would definitely take your anxiety seriously enough that he'd just straight up be like "well how can we get you the help you need?" And have 0 shame about taking you to a therapist or something, he'd be very clean cut about helping you feel better as quickly as possible.

🐀 I think he'd be an "any excuse to get his hands on you" type and would use "oh you're anxious in this social situation" as a reason to have you sitting on his lap, or have his arm around you. He'd never fail to pull the "oh you're so tense, come here..." Line and massage your shoulders just so he can get close to you.

🐀 Again, I think he'd definitely use sex as a de-stress technique too, I feel like he'd be very good at soothingly flirting with you until he manages to get you into his lap or into his bed, kissing your neck, gentle caresses over your body until your eyes flutter shut and you start to come out of your head and into the present moment where it's just you and him... He'd find a way to make you come undone and forget all your troubles.

🐀 It definitely boosts his ego having you always looking to him, dependent on him to look after you in situations which make your anxiety flare up. He loves being the one you come to at the end of a long day, loves the way it's him that makes you smile, your eyes light up, the little sigh of relief when you're finally returned to his arms. He's really proud of the fact that it's him that you turn to when you need help, and that it's him that you turn to for guidance.

🐀 When everything does get overwhelming and you just need to have a huge cry Isaiah will hold you so close, he'll stroke your hair and cradle your head to his chest, and he'll shush you and soothe you but he won't make you feel stupid for crying. In fact when you try to apologise for it he just makes light of it all, "sweetheart I'd be crying too if I had to deal with it, don't say sorry, reckon you're tougher than me..."

🐀 He's always the right amount of gentle and the right amount of joking about things... Most of the time. Sometimes he'll get the vibe wrong, not realise quite how wound up you are, make a joke at the wrong time which earns him a snapping at, or which tips you over the edge and makes you cry. He thinks it's funny when you get feisty because you're tense, but when you cry he feels so guilty and immediately drops any kind of joke so that he can give you a hug and try to make you feel better.

🐀 I feel like he'd be terrible at looking after you when you get "frozen" by your anxiety and you can't do normal household tasks like cooking a meal. Isaiah will certainly try his best to do all the things you usually do, but dinner is going to be a mess, and the kitchen is going to be a mess, but he's still going to do his best to look after you both as best he can.

Michael

☘️ If there's one man who really understands emotional turmoil it's Michael, his experiences in childhood mean he's familiar with anxiety/depression and that means he recognises all the symptoms in you pretty quickly.

☘️ Only thing is he's not much of a talker... He learnt at a pretty early age to repress all his negative, difficult feelings, to ignore emotional problems and just "be a man" but that's not what he wants for you. So it breaks his heart to recognise you struggling but not know how to talk to you about it or try to help.

☘️ So he uses his money and social power to make your life as easy as possible. He'll use his status with the peaky blinders to intimidate others into being nice to you, your boss at work, coworkers, family members, shopkeepers etc... anyone he thinks might not treat you as delicately as he believes you should be treated. If he ever hears of someone raising their voice at you he makes sure they pay.

☘️ He'll make excuses to be as much a part of your life as he possibly can be, that way he can assess the different ways he thinks you might be struggling so that he can throw more money at the problems... Paying for extra housekeepers, for food, for new clothes, your rent so that you don't have to work as many hours and you'll have time to rest... He'll probably accidentally overwhelm you and you'll start to grow anxious about why he's treating you so differently.

☘️ And of course in the end, money can alleviate some of the stressors which aggravate your anxiety but it can't cure you, and every now and then when Michael is forced to accept that fact, he gets really upset with himself for not being able to do more.

☘️ Might sometimes grow frustrated with your anxiety, not because he finds you frustrating but because he's frustrated with himself for not knowing how to help. He really beats himself up about the fact that he isn't doing enough and yet in your eyes he's doing more than he needs to.

☘️ Especially because for as much as you appreciate all the money he spends trying to "fix your problems" all you really want, all you really need is someone to talk to, someone who will understand what you're going through and be there to hold your hand or give you a hug when you need it.

☘️ You won't exactly argue about it but one day when you find yourself on the verge of tears in conversation with him, your fingers trembling, that horrible sick feeling in your stomach, your head all fuzzy with stress, he's asking you what he can do to help and you get desperate... "Please Michael stop it, stop it... You've already done so much fo me I can't stand it... I just... I just need a hug and... I don't know? Someone to listen to me..." You feel terrible and ungrateful for having burst out with it like that when he was only trying to help, but when he hears you he cringes and realises his mistake.

☘️ He'll do a little nervous laugh, pinch the bridge of his nose or rub his face with his hands and sigh. "Fuck," he chuckles, "of course, I've been a perfect fool haven't I?" He'll wrap his arms around you and hold you gently to his chest, lay a lingering kiss in your hair and shut his eyes. For a moment he'll just hold you, cherish you.

☘️ He'll stay up late at night talking to you, listening to you when you're worried about something, trying to reassure you with potential solutions to problems, or simply reassuring you that people dont hate you, or that you haven't upset anyone.

☘️ I think he probably gets anxious too, worries that he's still not doing enough, that he can't provide for you the way you need someone too. Michael will have to face a lot of his own fears, learn to talk about feelings and share his thoughts and emotions with you so that you can both depend on one another and feel confident depending on one another.

☘️ When you get anxious about his love for you he can't help but laugh your concerns off, when you worry that you're too much for him, that he'll get bored of you because you think you're a handful, he always has a witty line to fire back with before he gets deadly serious. Because if there's one thing you're not it's Too Much.

☘️ If you voice these doubts late at night when you're lying side by side in the dark Michael will sit up, turn the lamp on and make you sit up so that he can look you in the eyes and tell you how much he loves you. "I don't ever want you to doubt that my love, my heart will always belong to you..."

☘️ He'll kiss you and say it again between kisses, holding your hands and guiding you closer to him, only satisfied when he's got your body pressed tightly against his and his lips are free to scatter you in kisses whilst he whispers his love for you whilst you drift to sleep.

☘️ Because of your anxiety and the fact that you have a tendency to dwell on your worries and fears Michael will try to keep you as far away from his family and the family business as he possibly can. He'll be pretty successful too, keeping you almost completely naive to his criminal side. As far as you're concerned Michael is the perfect New York gentleman. He's always working behind the scenes pulling his strings to keep you safe, but you don't notice a thing.

☘️ His family think you're sweet but terribly shy and Michael doesn't want to give them the opportunity to get to know you any better than that. He'd father they think his wife plain and timid than have you get to know them and realise the darker side of his life. He likes being your gentleman, and his family would be a threat to the peaceful sanctuary he's been trying to build for you at home.

☘️ Michael really likes to be in control of things, in fact not being in control is something which makes his own anxiety flare up, and so being in a relationship with Michael means you never have to worry about anything... No tricky decisions, no fretting over organising events or running the household. Michael has tabs on everything and everything runs smoothly and logically.

☘️ At times when your anxiety is so bad you feel like you can't function or do anything Michael will help you with every detail of life from helping you pick the perfect dress for the evening, choosing what you eat at the restaurant, speaking for you at social events, deciding how you spend your day, which chores you can do etc... he can and will organise every minute of your day for you so that you can get some semblance of order back in your life when you feel everything slipping...

☘️ At the same time however his favourite form of escapism is to literally just up and leave. When your anxiety is particularly bad and truly exhausting you he knows the perfect way to help you is to take you somewhere out of the city, a beach resort, a romantic European city... As long as it's warm and as long as its world's away from New York. He'll take you to a spa, spoil you rotten with gifts, organise the perfect week away for you. Let you live in a romantic dream world for as long as you need to to feel happy and peaceful again.

☘️ Deep down he knows that facing your fears will help to ease your anxiety, but he'd be a hypocrite to tell you that when he has so many of his own issues that he leaves unaddressed. And then there's the fact that he knows how much pain and stress you have to go through when facing those fears in order to get over them... He never wants to see you struggle, ever, not even if it's be good for you in the end... He'd rather construct a dream world for you to drift around in safely for the rest of your days.

Aberama

🐇 Being a fair bit older than you he's got far more life experience and though he was never particularly anxious in his youth he's certainly mellowed out with age. He's a very peaceful, calming presence and that's one of the things you love about him. The fact that just being around him is enough to settle your nerves a little.

🐇There's something do gentle about it, but so quietly self-assured that you know you'll always be safe when you're with him. He doesn't have to tell you -but believe me he does- for you to know he'd do anything for you.

🐇Just as you are drawn to him because his self-confidence and peacefulness soothe your anxieties, he is drawn to you because he can see how much you need someone like him. He's so endeared to you from the moment you first say hello. You're so shy and you look around the room the way rabbits look when they're twitching shivering and fearful.

🐇 He's so nurturing and he has that world weary wisdom too, any problem you present to him he can either come up with a simple solution or he can shrug his shoulders and say with such certainty that it'll all be fine, or that it isn't worth worrying about, that you have no choice but to believe him and put your faith in him. At times like these he will often ask "do you trust me y/n?" And your answer is of course always yes. There's no one on earth you'd feel safer putting your trust in.

🐇Honestly he Daddys you to pieces. It's been awhile since he really had someone to take care of and he's missed it so much. Taking care of you let's him feel useful again, makes him feel like for all the bad deeds and sins he's committed in life, he's got the chance to do some good in taking care of someone as precious as you.

🐇 He's really talented at curating physical comfort and he understands how much a calming, safe environment can contribute to calming anxiety. He builds the perfect sanctuary of a home for the two of you, lots of blankets, low lighting, candles, incense etc.

🐇 He makes a mean Chamomile tea and teaches you the family recipe... even then, he's always the one who makes it for you and will get you all cosy wrapped up in blankets in the vardo, bring you your chamomile tea and then sit with you in his arms quietly listening to the rain on the roof or the sounds of the forest/ fields/ river outside.

🐇 You love listening to him tell you stories. His voice is so soft and lilting that no matter what stories he's telling you you always feel so cosy, safe and relaxed by the end. You often drift to sleep whilst he's recounting an old folktale to you and stroking his thumb through your hair.

🐇 He will do his best to show you that you'll always be safe with him, that he'll never let anyone hurt you, that no matter what the problem is he'll always be there to work it out with you. He gets the balance right between "wanting to wrap you in cotton wool so you never feel anxious" and "wanting to help you learn how to cope/overcome your anxieties" and his way of striking this balance is to do everything with you, he never lets you go through anything alone and when you're having days where you don't feel capable of anything he will acompany you on every errand, help you with every chore - even the most simple things like bathing yourself, cooking/ eating, going to the shops...

🐇 He will draw a bath for the two of you and you'll wash together, he will wash your hair and wrap you in a towel afterwards, but he'll encourage you to help yourself too. The same when cooking, he'll sit and peel/prep the food with you, sharing each task between you to lighten the load, but keeping you busy so that you get the selfesteem boost from finishing a task.

🐇 When you need to escape he'll take you on the road just you and him, off into the wilderness where you can be immersed in nature and reconnect to the earth. The city, Birmingham being as grimy and busy as it is, is one thing that rages your anxiety and so Aberama is careful to make sure you get plenty of time away, out in the countryside. He'll take you foraging as a way of unwinding you, its the perfect combination of "slow, peaceful activity" and "task that requires a little concentration" he teaches you to recognise different plants, berries, mushrooms and will be so proud of you when you begin to learn and forage things for yourself.

🐇 He really believes that napping with your love beneath the shade of a tree on a summers day can solve all your problems and honestly, when he has you held in his arms, soothing you to sleep with some meandering story about the very tree you're sitting beneath, you can believe that he's right.

🐇 If theres something really really getting to you, a worry you just don't seem to be able to shake, Aberama will take you to a faerie tree to tie your wish to it

🐇 Lights a fire and wraps you up in a blanket, the two of you warming yourself by it as the night ages. He'll sing you to sleep with dreamy folksongs, the two of you watching the embers smoulder before you finally drift off and he carries you to bed.

🐇 He is so soft and reassuring whenever he speaks to you, you often get anxious about your relationship, you fear abandonment or that you are too much for anyone to ever really be able to love, and knowing you feel these things hurts Aberama's heart. So he does his best to gently reassure you of his love for you night and day. He makes sure its the first thing he tells you every morning and the last thing he says to you as he kisses you goodnight.

Taglist

@inalovesrabbits-blog @liliac-dreamer @cocoaflowers @impossibleheartflower @call-sign-shark @mollybegger-blog @itsghostgirlyo @marwwfairy @toddlerbodybag @everysage @kas3yhatesyou @kxnnxy @starrykitn @only-malala @galactict3a @vanhelsingsbigtoe @darkcastle167 @feyresqueen @hp-hogwartsexpress @niktwazny303 @user469908764 @shylobster2020 @zablife

[unboundprompts]

Thank you so much for your blog! It's so neatly organized, it's lovely to read. It takes a lot of commitment to do detail every post and still constantly update, and I'm very grateful for you <3

I was wondering if you could write tips+prompts for a paranoid character?

Thank you again 😺

Thank you for the kind words!! That means a lot :)

How to Write a Paranoid Character

-> sources: mind.org , betterhealth.vic.gov

Paranoia is the irrational and persistent feeling that people are "out to get you."

Things that Make Paranoia More Likely:

Having confusing or unsettling experiences or feelings that you can't easily explain.

If you are anxious or worried a lot or have low self-esteem and expect others to criticize or reject you.

If you tend to come to conclusions quickly, believe things very strongly, and don't easily change your mind.

If you are isolated.

If you have experienced trauma in the past.

Things that may Contribute to Paranoid Thoughts:

Life experiences. You are more likely to experience paranoid thoughts when you are in vulnerable, isolated or stressful situations that could lead to you feeling negative about yourself.

Experiences in your childhood may lead you to believe that the world is unsafe or make you mistrustful and suspicious of others. These experiences may also affect your self-esteem and the way you think as an adult.

If you experience anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem, you may be more likely to experience paranoid thoughts.

Paranoia is sometimes a symptom of certain physical illnesses such as Huntington's disease, Parkinson's disease, strokes, Alzheimer's disease and other forms of dementia. Hearing loss can also trigger paranoid thoughts in some people.

Lack of sleep can trigger feelings of insecurity and even unsettling feelings and hallucinations. Fears and worries may develop late at night.

Recreational drugs may trigger paranoia, such as cocaine, cannabis, alcohol, ecstasy, LSD, and amphetamines. This may happen particularly if you're already feeling low, anxious or experiencing other mental health problems.

Research has suggested that genes may affect whether you are more likely to develop paranoia.

Symptoms of Paranoia:

being easily offended

finding it difficult to trust others

not coping with any type of criticism

assigning harmful meanings to other people's remarks

being always on the defensive

being hostile, aggressive, and argumentative

not being able to compromise

finding it difficult (or impossible) to "forgive and forget"

assuming that people are talking ill of them behind their back

being overly suspicious

not being able to confide in anyone

finding relationships difficult

considering the world to be a place of constant threat

feeling persecuted by the world at large

believing in unfounded conspiracy theories

Writing Prompts for a Paranoid Person

-> feel free to edit and adjust pronouns as you see fit.

Everyone was against him. No one liked to see him succeed and so they were doing everything in their power to stop him.

People were talking about her behind her back. They would whisper as she walked by, and their laughter would echo in her ears as she got further from them.

"You never believe me!" They wailed, pointing an accusing finger at their friend. "You wouldn't get it! You don't know what it's like to be hated by everyone!"

He laid in bed, staring at the ceiling and wide awake. It was a nightly routine, at this point. He could never bring himself to close his eyes. There were too many things going on his head, too many things that only made him dread when morning came.

Everything was about to go so wrong so fast, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. The impending doom beat down on her shoulders, reminding her that she was not okay. She was not safe.

They couldn't stop fidgeting with their hands. It used to offer some form of comfort, but not anymore. How could it when the whole world is against you?

They were looking at him. They were watching his every move. He was being tracked. Studied. Something was going to happen. Something bad. Something he wasn't prepared for. What could he do to be prepared?

"You think I'm crazy, but I'm not! You'll see."

If you like what I do and want to support me, please consider buying me a coffee! I also offer editing services and other writing advice on my Ko-fi! Become a member to receive exclusive content, early access, and prioritized writing prompt requests.

[whillywisp]

Seeing a lot of talks about finnick as a dad/doting husband during pregnancy on the fyp and I must contribute to the conversation 🌱 (warnings: it's long and so fluffy you're gonna die). Part 1.

Part 2 ☁︎

The thing about Finnick is that he has a lot of love to give to anyone who would take it. His heart is overflowing with it, shining cerulean with it. So of course fatherhood came to him as easily as breathing—

Wrong. Have you seen that walking talking ball of anxiety, love and autism?

The day you tell him you're pregnant he passes the fuck out. On the floor. And when he wakes up he cries for an hour straight, thanking you enough times with kisses pressed into every inch of your skin he could reach that the words don't even sound like English anymore. He's so grateful, so fucking grateful and terrified but above all, completely and irrevocably in love with you.

Throughout the pregnancy, he's as paranoid as it gets to the point you have to beg him to please leave you alone and no, Finnick the baby won't be hurt if i eat too fast please breathe and let me breathe but it's all from a place of love. He's lost too much, almost everything in his life. The few people he could still keep were precious to him and he was not going to let any of them forget that least of all his babies. Or baby.

Finnick talks to the baby a lot. Asking the most bizarre question to your bump as if he actually expected a tiny, baby's voice to answer him. He was constantly on about something new and his favourite topic to talk about was whatever his new hyperfixation was and you just nodded and smiled because of course the baby wants to know how to do an alpine stitch! But it was so endearing and relieving to see him finally be happy, finally find a purpose, even if it was to just talk nonstop to your belly. He deserves this, these little pockets of happiness.

And one of his greatest happiness was taking care of you. Circling back to the fact that he starts hyperventilating when his lover so much as sneezes too hard, the hellscape that was pregnancy scared him. No, fuck it, it terrified him. So he did what he always did and loved to do and banned you from anything and everything that needed physical exertion. Chores of any kind were out of order. You were on a healthy diet of four meals a day and of course they included all your cravings that he always presented to you no questions asked thank you very much and you had to take naps, multiple of them, all with his presence as a requirement (you were sure those were just an excuse to cuddle you but you would rather take up another round of hunger games than call him out on it). He attended every appointment, had an alarm set for all the prenatal meds, and always a kiss for the belly and your lips just so you knew that this was it for him. You and your baby were the very centre of his universe and this was him orbiting you both. And you couldn't help but be grateful that you had him to love and cherish just as he did you.

And your favourite way of telling him you loved him was letting him take control over the one thing you knew he loved: baby shopping. With all due respect, this is the type of guy who bought baby shoes when he was eighteen with no baby in sight because look at how tiny this is it's so cute *big sparkly green eyes.* But it's particularly endearing watching him waltz around the store, arms full of onesies and plushies and you kind of just stand there, unable to do anything because what the fuck were you supposed to do at nine months pregnant and married to a man who you *checks notes* gifted a day where he could buy anything he wanted as a birthday present?

I promise you the answer was not 'go into an early labour the second he dumped the shopping bags in the living room' but who am I to say anything?

The baby coming two whole weeks early did not sit well with his anxiety. He was a mess, a complete and utter mess but he was also the most precious angel on this planet so seeing him holding back tears of fear so he could be there for you and hold you tight, so tight, because he was scared he would lose you broke your heart too. While the pain of the labour was bad, knowing he was close, holding you tight as he pressed gentle kisses everywhere, to cater to everything you needed, was enough to realise, he was the one. And you were going to fight through hell for him.

Such a wretched thing, love, you thought to yourself as you felt him shake beside you through the pain and haze, to ask you to hope against hope that the strain on your strength and your fading string of fate would persevere despite it all.

But you did. You survived and so did your precious little baby girl, and so did the last pieces of Finnick's soul, despite it all.

The first time he holds his tiny, tiny baby in his arms, something in his brain just clicks (or maybe his frontal lobe was finally fully developed because of course his baby picked the day before his birthday to make her own entry on planet earth) but whatever it was, it was perfect. His entire world narrowed down to the squirming little angel in his arms and he couldn't help but feel his heart leave his chest for the second time in his life to become hers. She fit right into the crook of his arms, the space in his neck. She fit into his life like another piece of puzzle that he never knew he was look for.

She was his little angel, his little girl. The person he never knew he fought through whole wars for but now, holding her against his chest as he watched you both sleep, he knew this is what he was meant to do. To love, to love, to love. For the sake of it. Simply because he could. Simply because he was alive and it was good enough reason to love with his entire being.

Part 1 because I don't exactly know if you people will like it enough to want more.

[writinggremlin]

Ok, here's interesting concept for ya'll to chew on for a bit:

Mind control/hypnosis, but it's so subtle that barely anyone realizes that there's been a change. It's nearly imperceivable. Anything that is noticeable can easily be chalked up to normal character development.

Anyone who grows suspicious can easily be seen as paranoid, even to other unaffected people. There's no tangible proof, there's no evidence-- sure they're acting a little different, but a lot can happen in a week. Nobody's the same on Friday as they were on Monday.

It's all in your head.

You're overthinking things.

It's fine.

They're fine.

Everything's fine.

Here's some medicine to help with your anxiety.

So many ways this could be applied though. As a virus trying to stay under the radar, a cult with a leader who has these powers, hell I can see applications for vampires or other species that relies on enthralling humans too (they could let their thrall be out in public, unsupervised, and nobody would even be suspicious enough to try to break them out of it. And if they did it would make them seem like a weirdo.) (There's also the whole idea of vampires being able to be more public a little more safely because obviously mind control isn't real! That's all fictional, Hollywood nonsense! These people want to be fed on, and they're willingly offering themselves up of their own volition, because they like it. They can refuse at any time and I'll respect that, isn't that right?).

It's not disillusionment, it's not denial, it's literally just the tiniest of changes on the surface, that have more noticeable impacts the deeper you look at it.

And for those who realize, who become obsessed and paranoid, spiraling into topics that are nothing more than illusive myths and conspiracies, one day they will wake up and realize just how irrational they've been. Believing so deeply in something with so little evidence and so many gaps to jump just to reach those conclusions, it's silly, really. God they've wasted so much time being so scared over nothing.

Does the power even exist at all?

That question is where the horror lies. And I love it.

(Movie inspiration: Little Joe, a movie about a plant that makes people happy. What could ever go wrong with that?) (Warning: if you go to watch it, there's a reoccurring audio motif that sounds like this very loud, shrill, piercing tone. It is a little painful to listen to, and can easily get overstimulating. Be prepared to adjust your volume accordingly.)

[limabean42]

✎ Anxiety exploring art with an artist partner ✎

Anxiety won the poll on who I should write for next. I got a request though so I prioritized that but here you guys go!

-

• While Anxiety doesn’t think about art that often she can appreciate the dedication you have to it

• She first discovered you were an artist when she saw you painting at an easel near the window in headquarters

• You were painting a clown, like the one on goofball island

• “Why are you painting that?” she asked

• You shrugged and just said because you want to

• Anxiety was intrigued. She rarely ever had mental clarity to pursue a hobby. Always filled with worry about the future

• She just stood there next to you for a moment thinking of how you can actually have passions and interests outside of Riley

• I mean she knows the other emotions have a sense of self as well but you just seem more carefree about it

• “Would you like to try?” you asked her

• She thought for a moment, getting anxious about the what ifs. Like what if she gets too wrapped up in painting and misses a moment to help Riley?

• You noticed her overthinking and placed a hand on her shoulder making her flinch

• She finally said that she would like to paint with you

• You grabbed her an easel and canvas and she grabbed a paintbrush like it was a foreign object

• You took it from her and put it back in her hand the proper way

• Anxiety didn’t know what to paint so she asked you. You responded with whatever was calling her the most. It didn’t have to be something in person but anything she could think of

• After a few minutes she decided to paint you

• You were flattered and a bit shy but tried to play it off

• She studied you closely and painted a portrait of you painting a clown

• It was a beginner level painting as expected but very wholesome and cute

• Anxiety felt strangely calm while painting and proud of herself after completing her masterpiece

• Immediately she rushed to hang the canvas on the wall, declaring everyone should look at it and tell her what they thought

• You were proud of her and gave her a big hug from behind accompanied by a kiss on the cheek

• After that you both would paint together more often

• Art wasn’t her main focus but she did enjoy it

• Before she tried painting she saw it as a waste of time, for herself at least

• Since then she’s come to realize that she is her own person as well as a part of Riley

• She loves to watch you draw in your sketchbook and on your drawing tablet

• It’s fascinating to her how you can just visualize something in your mind and recreate it in real life

• “Can you teach me how to draw now?” she asked excitedly after seeing you on your tablet

• You call her over to the couch and teach her what to do and press to get her desired product

• Anxiety hyper focuses very easily on anything she’s intrigued by. Right now she’s fascinated by the way your hand moves, connecting lines to create a bigger picture

• The other emotions are glad she’s found something to occupy her time with other than sitting in her massage chair

• So much respect was gained for you once she realized how genuinely creative you have to be to be an artist

• As a gift you give her a sketchbook

• Most of her sketches are of you doing various things around headquarters. You joke with her saying it’s good practice for drawing hands

• She likes sitting with her massage chair on while she draws, even though the constant shaking makes the line work a little wonky

• When she’s stressed she draws what she’s feeling. These pictures are mostly considered abstract with various colors and chaotic swirls to represent her anxiety

• While she’s in her head you drop what you’re doing and start drawing with her so she doesn’t go through her paranoid thoughts alone

• Your sketchbook is filled with lots of things, including some cute drawings of her

• Even your drawings that aren’t of her have part of her in them. Like if your drawing is in the center of the page there will be a tiny sketch of Anxiety at the bottom with a speech bubble above her head saying something random

• It really shows how much space she takes up in your mind

• With most of her sketches being of you it’s safe to assume that you take up a big spot in her mind as well

• “I hope I can be as good of an artist as you one day so we can continue to improve together”

-

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed and I’ll be getting to requests tomorrow :)

[twirlingsmilingwriting]

Paper Talks || Young! Coriolanus Snow X Plinth! Reader pt. 1

TLDR: You knew that people would try to gain your attention and trust because of your families status but Coriolanus always seemed to go above and beyond the usual hallway waves. Are his feelings true and genuine or is he just as shallow as the rest?

Warnings: Capital people talk, reader is a little bratty, She/Her pronouns reader

A/N: This is part ONE of THREE planned stories. So basically I got requests for this same parring of Snow X Plinth! reader and one wanted angst the other wanted fluff so this is the set up story to those two. The story will break off and diverge from this point and you'll get to choose the ending you want. Will they fall in love or will it burn to pieces? YOU CHOOSE!

Based on THIS ask

Word Count: 2.1 k

Taglist: @simpovereveryone

The academy was rather boring most days. Constant busy work 24/7 about things I already knew just didn't ever seem to rub me the right way. What was the point in this education if it felt like you were never actually LEARNING anything? I sighed tapping my pencil ever so slightly against my desk while I listened to Highbottom ramble about whatever painfully vague topic he wanted to yap about today. That man drank so much I swear, not only could you smell the liquor off of him but you could see it, like a weird mystifying haze around him and in his eyes. He must've been mixing something in his cup because liquor doesn't do that much damage. I, honestly, needed whatever he was having to get through this lesson.

Finally, like a saving grace, the bell rang and we were excused from the lecture hall. A few people waved and smiled while I walked through the halls and I did the same back. While I was from the districts, the capital people still seemed to treat me fairly, to my face that is, because of one thing and one thing only, my last name.

Plinth.

We were new money and we sure had a ton of it. An ever-looming fear of mine is that people don't actually like me but just want to get closer to me so they can get a piece of my family's fortune. Easily, I can see why people would want to get closer to me. It didn't help when my last year in the academy came and my father announced there would be a "Plinth Prize", a scholarship of sorts that would help other students pay for university. My father is a very charitable man for offering up a chunk of our wealth to others but it made me a lot more paranoid at school. What if people were just trying to get closer to me so I'd put a good word into my dad? The thought caused a deep sinking feeling of anxiety to sit in the pit of my stomach. Shaking my head, I dusted away the emotions, grabbed my food and tried to find a spot to sit in the cafeteria.

Looking over the area, I saw the broad stocky build and curly brown hair of a boy sitting alone at a 4 person table. Oh, Sej... Sej is my twin brother, obviously not identical twin but he was my twin. I placed my food onto the table with a 'plop' and eagerly sat down to eat.

"Sejanus"

"Y/N"

We both nodded and continued to eat. It was a weird sibling thing we did. Hello's get boring when you have to say them all the time so we just say each other's names then move on. I started absolutely demolishing my sandwich. Words can not describe how delicious a sandwich is after having to listen to Highbottom's intoxicated rants for hours on end. That's when I noticed something, Sej wasn't eating. His eyes were distracted, focused on something behind me. I cocked my brow up in confusion before slowly turning my head to see what he was looking at.

I don't know when he got there but the tall, lanky frame of a man clad in our school uniform was walking to where we were sat and promptly stood at the edge of our table. Curls so blond they were almost white framed his face with a smirk painted across it. His eyes switched between the two of us slowly as if they were slithering inside of his head. Coriolanus Snow. I don't think I've ever actually talked to him before but we did share a class. Sej smiled and said hi to him and he nodded back before asking,

"Is that seat taken?" his head motioned to the seats beside us and I was about to say 'yes' but I couldn't beat the enthusiastic nods and "Oh no it's absolutely free please come sit down," from my brother.

I watched dumbfounded while he reached over and slightly pulled out the chair next to him for Coriolanus. The blond man ignored this, the fabric of his sleeve touching my hair every so slightly while he slid behind to take the seat next to me. That pissed me off, just a little. I hate when people touch my hair. Spend so long to make it look presentable and then people go in and mess with it UGH. My brothers smile faded slightly before it perked back up again as he excitedly started to strike up a conversation with Coriolanus who couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of me. I felt his gaze burning my skin like thousands of little coals. Who knows what kind of comments he might have been making in his head. I looked back down at my sandwich and started to eat it again, but a lot slower.

Sejanus and Coriolanus went back and forth with some banter, clearly, Sej was a lot more interested than Coriolanus was. I felt kind of sad for my brother at times. I don't think he realized how easily people could use us. He trusted too freely and it seemed like he really liked Coriolanus. While other students would try to be kind to us to our faces, that didn't stop them from laughing at us behind our backs. I've only overheard their snickers and chuckles about how we were 'dirty district' twice but that was twice too many. Sej couldn't see through the plastic personas. He leaned over the table, directing his full energy and attention to holding this conversation with Coriolanus who wasn't even holding eye contact with him. He was cut off mid-ramble when Coriolanus spoke.

"Sejanus... you never told me you had a sister"

Oh god, I've been noticed. ABORT MISSION. ABORT MISSION.

"Actually, she's my twin sister. I assumed you would've already known she-"

"I think I have a class with her... Y/N right?"

Why were they talking about me like I wasn't right there? Sejanus was about to open his mouth again when Snow tapped my shoulder, forcing my attention to him. I got to get a better look at his face up close now and I couldn't deny the absolute gravitational pull those blue eyes had. Silently, I swam into the oceans of those blue eyes. I knew I had to get out before I drowned. I swallowed hard and nodded.

"Y/N. Y/N Plinth. And you are... Coriolanus?"

"Please, call me Corio." His smirk turned to a cheesy smile and he tipped his head slightly, extending his hand out for me to shake. I looked down at his hand and then back up at him while I nervously took it and shook it. His hands were as cold as icicles. The feeling almost made me shiver. He gave my hand a squeeze when I tried to pull away like he was trying to keep me there. I did not like that one bit. When he finally released my hand he didn't take his eyes off of me once.

"Sure, Corio..." I mumbled out before trying to return to my almost-finished sandwich. Sej took that as his opportunity to continue blabbering on to Coriolanus.

~

The passing days started to notice a frequently rising increase in Coriolanus Snow bombarding my days. He started to become one of those faces that would wave at me in the hallways but he always wanted to stop and talk and compliment my appearance. Just the other day he moved seats in our shared class to sit next to me, conveniently on the day we had to start a group project with our "table partner". I didn't like how he seemed to be infecting every inch of my life. Sejanus even started to invite him to the mansion so they could hang out and I'd have to see those icy blue eyes cross my vision whenever I went downstairs for a snack and of course, he had to talk to me.

A part of me wants to believe how that Corio was genuine and was trying to be our friend but I couldn't help the impending sense of doom I felt whenever I thought about opening up to him. Today was unlike the others. To start, when Sej and I walked to school together, Coriolanus crossed our path and walked with us. His body hung close to mine as he and Sejanus talked over my head. Corio kept trying to drag me into their conversation but I was trying to minimize the amount of Snow that was being left on my person. When I made it to my first class that's when I noticed a white rose placed on the side of my bag. It must've been from Corio. He must've slipped it in my bad while we were walking this morning. I'm just a girl! I couldn't help the way my face lit up bright red with a blush from this action.

Just as my face felt hot so did my temper. I couldn't let myself get distracted here. I knew what he really wanted, right? I twirled the stem of the rose between my fingers, carefully trying to avoid the thorns, and watched how pretty it looked spinning. Humming softly, I closed my eyes and watched as the rest of the day went by fast.

~

Corio and I sat sitting next to each other in the library trying to study for class. He started insisting on these study dates after we had that first group assignment together. I don't understand why he felt the need to sit there and explain all the questions to me. I knew what he was talking about. The fabric of our pants touched each other lightly as it was the one barrier that stopped our knees from touching. Coriolanus continued to ramble on about the question we were on and was explaining the steps to solve it for the 100th time and I was starting to get seriously bored. With a heavy sigh, I pulled my paper closer to me and started to solve the problems at a lot faster of a speed than we were going at. I had done about 4 questions by the time he was done explaining that one to me and that's when he realized, he had pretty much been talking to the air.

"Y/N? Y/N? Are you listening?"

He spoke, leaning ever so closer to me. He started snapping his fingers in from of my face and I felt this anger start to boil in me.

"Darling, I'm trying to show you how to solve this."

Finally, when he placed his hand on my thigh and I heard the word 'Darling' escape his lips did I snap. My head shot up and I looked over at him, shooting daggers in his direction. I hissed under my breath,

"Corio, do you think I'm stupid? I know what you want "Darling, " I let the darling roll off my tongue sarcastically and mockingly. "and it's not me. You're not sly Snow, I know you're flirting with me and I suggest you scurry along here before I put in a bad word to my father about how this boy in my class can't seem to leave me alone in peace to do my school work. Are we clear?"

Coriolanus took a step back, his mouth agape from the shock of what was just said to him. He took a sharp inhale before a smirk spread on his face, similar to the one he had the first day he sat next to Sejanus and I. There was a plan behind that smile I just knew it.

"That is where you're wrong I'm afraid. I love your feist though Ms. Plinth, simply another challenge, and don't forget, Snow always lands on top."

His body glided so elegantly through the air as he stood up from his seat next to me, placed his hands on my shoulders, and leaned down to look over my shoulder, leaning down so close I could feel his breath against my neck. If my heart was beating any faster it might have turned into an engine an raced out of my chest.

"By the way Y/N... the answer is 3 not 67, I can't even process how you'd make that kind of mistake but if you ever need help with math, let me know. I'm sure you would've gotten it right if you were listening."

He whispered in my ear before standing up and leaving the room. The whole interaction caused a shiver to go down my spine in shock before the anger came rushing back into my veins. Who does this man think he is? And what a cringy tag line, "Snow always lands on top"? please. We will just have to see about that one.

[salty-croissants]

Hi again! I’m about to send another request that’s absolutely tooth rotting fluffy: When their s/o finds out they’re ticklish. (with Rayman/Ramon & Bullfrog)

Thank you for the request ! 

This one was so cute , I really enjoyed writing it :D 

Hope it turned out okay ! 

Details : use of gender neutral reader ; 

established relationships ; 

no warnings needed 

Bullfrog 💚

Okay , let me tell you this : it’s not going to be easy to sneak up on him , given how Bullfrog is always careful and aware of his surroundings , so usually he 

finds out when you’re attempting to catch him off guard .

< Hmm ? What are you doing , dear ? > 

< Ack - dammit , I thought I got you this time ! > 

< Heh , if you wanted my attention you should’ve just said so mon amour ~ >

He would then make up for the failed sneak attack by showering you with affection , always encouraging you to try again and that you’ll definitely get him next time …

He’s just so sweet :,//) 

However , the one time you do actually go for it when he’s especially distracted , you’re going to find out that Bullfrog is , in fact , very ticklish …

… and you’re quick to take advantage of that information .

< Aha ! I got you now , honey ! > 

< Pfft - non ! Ayez pitié de moi ! ~ > 

< Nope , I don’t think I’ll have mercy on you … you’re mine now ~ > 

Bullfrog has the cutest laugh , and you can’t help but blush while you’re tickling him … 

He could easily free himself from you , but he simply adores to see that look on your face , and plus he really does feel happy in those little playful moments the two of you share , so he just gives in .

… but that doesn’t mean that he won’t get revenge later .

If you also happen to be ticklish , you won’t even be able to hear him coming , and before you know it Bullfrog is going to have you in his arms while going for the spots that he knows will make it impossible for you not to laugh …

Believe me , you won’t be able to leave for a while .

< Hahaha - sweetie , pleaseee ! ~ > 

< Hmm , what was it you said … ? Oh , right , I don’t think I’ll have mercy on you , mon cher ~ >

Rayman 🧡

Since he’s often focusing on work related things , it’s actually pretty easy to sneak up on Rayman without him noticing you .

Especially when you see him being very stressed out and worried about his shows or something that the Directors have said to him , your determination to see your boyfriend smile is what leads you to try and take matters in your own hands .

< That’s not right … that meeting wasn’t scheduled until next week … ugh , this is a problem … > 

Rayman gets lost in his thoughts a lot , so he won’t even realize that someone has entered the room … until it’s too late . 

< y/n , love ? What are you - > 

< Tickle attack ! > 

The moment you hear him laugh , you get a warm feeling in your heart : he really deserves to have a break from all the anxiety that being the face of Eden puts him through .

Rayman almost forgot what it’s like to be tickled …

He is incredibly sensitive , you could pretty much touch him anywhere and it would make him wheeze out loud .

Needless to say … it’s really cute ://) 

< P-please - hahaha ~

 I gotta finish this paperwork - >

< Don’t worry Ray , I’ll let you get to it … after we’re done here , that is ~ > 

He is really grateful to have you by his side to brighten up his day , and weather you’re also ticklish or not Rayman is going to be giving you extra attention as soon as he gets done with what he was working on .

After all , it’s the least he could do for his wonderful partner .

< Thank you , y/n , I really needed that … 

I love you so much ~ > 

Ramon 🖤

So , this man has become incredibly paranoid since all that’s happened in the past few weeks , so in order to catch him off guard you should strike when you and Ramon are cuddling together and he’s not expecting it .

< y/n , what is th - pfff — > 

< Hehe , now there’s that beautiful smile ~ > 

< Alright alright , you … hahah - 

You got me good … ~ > 

Ramon might not be quite as giggly as before , but you can still definitely get a few good laughs out of him , and being able to hear that sound again is something that never fails to bring you joy : 

you’re the only one who gets to see this soft side of him , hidden behind his current intimidating exterior . 

Ramon is glad to have a chance to return to some sense of normalcy thanks to your playful behavior , it really helps to ease his mind and have at the very least a glimpse of hope in the future . 

As soon as you finish tickling him , you can be sure that he won’t be letting go of you for quite some time . 

< I got you now honey … you’re not going anywhere ~ > 

< Aw man … well , can’t say I’m unhappy about that ~ > 

If you’re also ticklish , Ramon is going to have the time of his life to use his hands to make you laugh and giggle when you least expect it , and another thing that he’s also a big fan of is to leave trails of kisses on your most sensitive points … especially your neck . 

< *gasp* Ram - you can’t just — 

Hahahah ~ > 

< Mm … but I can , darling , and I will ~ 

You should’ve thought twice before deciding to tickle me … > 

< Well , if this is - haha … ~ 

If this is the result , I might wanna do it more ~ > 

[rogue--nation]

Uncommon Simon Ghost Riley (mostly for OG than Reboot) Headcanons that I find realistic.

1. Social Anxiety and Communication Issues. Simon finds it difficult to communicate with people outside his field of work, especially women. He doesn't have much experience with them and he is afraid to be perceived as a freak. However, women are usually afraid of him, sometimes curious, but keep away, feeling this sense of uneasiness, awkwardness around him. It is simply because he doesn't know how to be a so called normal person. Nothing about him is quite normal. Military has always been a significant part of his life, of him entirely. He doesn't know what to talk about or even finds civilian life boring. Every time he is on a shore leave he feels like an outsider among the locals. He keeps to himself to save himself from a conflict or an embarrassment. But if he gets comfortable enough around someone, he can be perceived as a very interesting and intelligent person. Simon usually gets rid of this anxiety by drinking. A little bit of alcohol percentage really makes him a normal person.

2. Soldier intuition and reflexes. It helps him a lot and sometimes... It causes trouble. Intuition sure saves his life in tricky situations and also this same intuition makes him read the signs wrong and cause a misunderstanding, a fight or a conflict, especially around civilians. Let's say, he casually activates his fight or flight response. Not always, of course, but there are some instances that make his life a lot harder than it has to be.

3. Adrenaline addiction. He is very paranoid. Always ready for a fight. Maybe even looking for it, looking for trouble. Civilian life indeed is boring for him for this lack of adrenaline release, so sometimes he intentionally escalates situation to let out some steam, despite being a very calm person by nature. (IDK maybe that's why he still lives in Manchester, there's always trouble).

4. PTSD. Yes, he suffers from it. Especially after Brazil and Rojas. He's been tortured psychologically, physically. Beaten up, raped, buried alive with a corpse. And he fucking survived. It didn't make him stronger, it broke him. It killed something that doesn't let him step away now. This very mission has branded him, cursed him to go on and never lay down his weapon. There's no way back from battlefield for him. He has nightmares, but tries to cope with them. Most of the time he is to tired to have a very emotional reaction to such dreams. And he wears himself down to have a dreamless sleep.

5. He knows a bit of Spanish and Portuguese. And he understands when locals speak these languages, he can read and easily communicate, but he prefers to not show off this skill too much, this is a tactical decision. The less enemy knows about you, the less they're expecting.

6. Detachment from him face. He almost forgot how he looks like in the mirror, he barely looks in it. When he thinks about his face, he mostly thinks about his mask. It's a part of him now, like an another layer of skin. The skull pattern on it is an echo from the masquerade paint he had on his face during Los Muertos. He metaphorically died back there in Brazil, died in the hands of his torturers. He is shell of a man he used to be. He is Ghost now. Phantasma.

When he has to take it off, especially in civilian environment, he feels naked, unsafe. Like if he is stripped of something that makes him who he is. It's almost an equivalent for a regular person to put on a mask and hide their face. The mask IS Simon's face.

7. Emotional spectre and control of them. He has a hard time processing and understanding his emotions sometimes. He reads anger well. Despair, too. They're common. But others, more complex states are a mystery to him. Cause-and-effect relationships of his own mind are troubling time to time. He well knows what can trigger him. And when Simon understands what's bothering him, he can develop means to control it.

The struggle to read himself, however, does not affect his ability to read others, especially the enemies. He can predict what they're about to do, how they're going to react.

On the outside, he tries not to show much, but his voice reveals his emotions in critical moments: the screams, the stutter, the growl.

8. Need for affection. Like any other human being he needs attention, care, words of affirmation. He lacks it in his life. Yeah, he is on a good terms with his team, he is stoic and self-contained, but deep inside he is needy. Physical touch, emotional connection, romantic love.. he aches for it. But his logical side clearly understands that he is impossible to love. He is a troubled man. Wrecked. No one would ever want him in their life. A burden. Loving someone like him is a death sentence. So, there's this emptiness within him.

His perfect match would be someone "normal", mature and understanding. By saying "understanding" I don't mean just being able to accept him as he is, but someone having a similar experience in life, someone, who knows how to cope with trauma. And this significant other shouldn't be a "crutch" for Simon, because in my opinion such relationship wouldn't last long. It's not about fixing him, but about showing him that things can be different if he finds other means to cope with his demons than just restlessly fighting. He has to make a choice: to keep himself in that vicious bloody cycle or finally step up and take another challenge. I don't think he can actually change, but he definitely can make it work if someone believes in him.

Yes, he can hire a prostitute and let out some tension, but he will feel terrible afterwards. If, of course, he will actually be able to get intimate at all, by setting aside all the anxiety, fear and hate he has for himself . It's easier to take care of himself on his own.

Talking about sexuality. As I mentioned, he is not very experienced and he gets intimate rarely, so at first he doesn't last long at all. He can be a bit awkward, but he is never rough, since he has enough violence in his life and for him the act of making love is about tenderness. He would never want to harm or hurt his partner in any way. He is usually quiet in bed, but can be very audible from time to time when he simply cannot control himself.

[pikatrainer99]

Branch from Trolls has PTSD, paranoia, depression, and anxiety and you can't change my mind! (Part 1: Trolls) (SPOILERS FOR A MOVIE THAT CAME OUT 8 YEARS AGO BUT JUST IN CASE 😅)

(This entire three-part analysis was SUPPOSED to be completed in its entirety by the end of May since it's for mental health awareness month, buuuut...I couldn't finish it in time (had to take a break and take care of myself because my PTSD has relapsed lately...AGAIN... I've been getting triggered really easily by just about anything and I hate it so much 😑), but at least the FIRST part is ready in time...so here we go!

Branch is my favorite character in DreamWorks' Trolls franchise, and for many reasons. One of them being that he is very relatable. As someone with PTSD, paranoia, depression, and anxiety myself, I find it easy to put myself in Branch's tiny Troll feet and feel how he feels. (I also headcanon him as autistic, which I also am, but that's a post for another day). With this series of posts I will be analyzing his character journey and how his mental struggles affect him and his life. I will only be going over the three theatrical films in the franchise in these analysis posts, because, while his mental struggles are ABSOLUTELY present in the TV shows, I haven't seen every episode of the TV shows and I have a lot to discuss with just the three movies because I love Branch and relate to him so much.

So, to start this analysis, let's take a look at the first Trolls film. When Branch is first introduced, he is a grumpy, depressed, pessimistic gray Troll, and the only Troll in the village who doesn't sing, dance, hug, or party.

He instead chooses to spend all his time working on gathering supplies and rations for his, as he says "highly camouflaged, heavily fortified, Bergen-proof survival bunker." He lives in the bunker and has enough provisions to last him ten years…eleven if he's willing to store and drink his own sweat…which he is (gross).

Branch always feels the need to be crazy over-prepared for everything (so do I), no matter how crazy it drives the others (same here). The other Trolls all say that he ruins everything by interrupting their fun and panicking that "The Bergens are coming!" when in reality there's no Bergen in sight and there hasn't been for 20 years by that point and he's just paranoid. To them, he's basically like the boy who cried wolf…or in this case, the Troll who cried Bergen.

When Poppy invites Branch to her party, Branch immediately declines, saying that he "wouldn't be caught dead at her party" before adding that all the others "will be caught and dead" because of how big, loud, and crazy it's going to be. Branch frustratedly declares that Poppy's party is just gonna lead the Bergens right to the Trolls, and they all just brush his warning off because they haven't had to worry about Bergens in 20 years. That night, during the party, Branch is out collecting more provisions and he looks at the party from afar, scoffing at the others and their carefree attitudes before retreating back to his bunker. Before he knows it though, Poppy is banging on his door because a Bergen attacked the party and took all her friends. Branch, in his paranoia and anxiety, drags Poppy inside the bunker with him and sets up all his traps as they sit and wait in silence before Poppy tells him the Bergen is gone.

Branch, still paranoid, doesn't believe her and says that it could still be out there "watching…waiting…listening…" He clearly feels like he can never let his guard down, always on hyper-alert, checking for any danger. This is a common symptom of PTSD - hyper-vigilance (I have this symptom myself), and it can contribute to paranoia, making it even worse (it definitely does for me, and it looks like it's the same for Branch).

When Poppy asks him to go to Bergen Town with her to save everyone, Branch, with no hesitation, says no, that they're not his friends, they're Poppy's friends, and that he's staying in his bunker because his bunker is safe. He takes her down to the lower levels of the bunker, and this is where we see some obvious evidence of his mental state. There is frantic fear writing ALL OVER THE WALLS, and it says things like, "Run", "Danger", "Bergens eat us", "Teeth in the night", among many other things that are hastily scribbled and illegible (though Branch has bad writing in general, so it's already hard to read, but my point stands). He's even got multiple papers with horrifying drawings of the Bergens hung up on that wall as well. I have never really seen anyone else in this fandom talk about the writing all over Branch's walls, so I'm gonna talk about it myself. It makes it look like the poor guy spiraled, lost control, and had a manic episode…or eleven.

(Seriously, just LOOK at all this!!! This man is NOT okay!!!)

He's clearly TERRIFIED of Bergens, and wants to do everything in his power to avoid ever encountering one (which, fair, they do wanna EAT the Trolls, so that's a valid fear). Branch's fear of Bergens though, is not a normal fear, it seems to be a phobia, which would explain the paranoia. Obviously there's something going on inside his head involving Bergens that will definitely be revealed later. (foreshadowing)

Poppy completely disrespects Branch's needs, wishes, and privacy by letting all the other Trolls into the bunker while she goes to save her friends that got taken. This kinda made me upset because Branch clearly didn't give her permission to invade his personal space like that and make his own home suddenly feel unsafe with everyone there going through his stuff all at once. He freaks out when it's "Hug Time" because he doesn't want to be touched, especially not by all these Trolls he doesn't trust, so he packs a backpack and goes after Poppy, saving her from some spiders.

(This is honestly really upsetting to watch, she totally disrespects and ignores his boundaries here and it hurts to see him freak out over Hug Time because I also hate being touched, which means I also dislike hugs as a result of that...I only willingly hug my grandparents, that's it, no one else, not even my own parents.)

The whole way to Bergen Town, Branch is gloomy, brooding, and irritable. He tells Poppy that the world isn't all "cupcakes and rainbows" when she asks what happened to him to make him the way he is.

Poppy and her constant singing get on his nerves, the worst instance of this being when she starts singing at night when he's trying to sleep, making him angry enough to throw her ukulele into the campfire, burning it.

(This scene always gets a laugh out of me, the way it's animated is just perfect comedy XD)

Singing is clearly triggering for him, which we find out why later on when he adamantly refuses to sing with the others when they're trying to help Bridget get a date with King Gristle by giving her a makeover. Poppy asks him why he won't sing and he responds with (probably) the most iconic line in the entire film (and not one that people seem to be able to take seriously…but I take it as seriously as can be): "BECAUSE SINGING KILLED MY GRANDMA, OKAY?!"

(His facial expressions here as he tells the story of what happened to his grandma are just...DreamWorks nailed it, and also the knee hugging pose...he's just like me for real 🥺)

We then see a flashback of a young Branch, happy and colorful, singing his heart out, but the Chef Bergen comes for him and he's so lost in song he doesn't notice, or hear his grandma warning him.

This causes his grandma to push him out of the way, and get taken instead.

Branch is so distraught by his grandma's sacrifice, that he loses all his happiness and becomes depressed, turning gray in the process, and vowing to never sing again.

(This poor child had to witness his grandma meet her untimely demise...and he blames himself for it...that's really depressing in my opinion, I seriously don't understand why people find this scene funny, it triggered my own PTSD really BAD the first time I watched it...I'm used to it now so I don't have my PTSD triggered by it anymore but it still hurts to watch.)

Now the bigger picture is clear. He's got PTSD and paranoia involving the Bergens because of what happened with his grandma as a child. His grandma's sacrifice also started his severe depressive state, as evidenced by him turning gray immediately after she got taken. When the flashback ends, Branch is staring silently and sadly out the window, looking like he's trying not to cry, his depression getting a hold of him once again.

(Again, DreamWorks really nailed the facial expressions here...he looks so broken 🥺)

I understand how he's feeling in that scene, my grandma is my LIFELINE, the person I feel the safest with…seriously I confide in her and tell her more things than I tell my own mom because I trust my grandma more…I even stayed at her house for a while a few years back during my worst mental crisis ever just so I could have the feeling of constant safety and less nightmares…so if something ever happened to her I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Singing is a trigger for him, and so are Bergens in general…which makes me upset at the others, AGAIN, when they sing the song that Branch was singing during that time…my thoughts were like, "Come ON guys, that song is probably the most triggering song for him…" As you can probably tell, I get upset with the others quite a few times whenever I watch this film, because of how they treat Branch. Eventually the entirety of Troll Village is thrown in a pot, ready to be served for Trollstice, and it's here where Branch's character development really becomes apparent. Poppy turns gray, quickly followed by all the other Trolls, and Branch looks around at everyone turning gray, like him, and, desperate to do something about it and help the girl he's now grown to love, he finally breaks his 20-year-long "no singing" vow as he begins to sing "True Colors" in what is probably the most beautiful scene in the entire film (I know it's my personal favorite scene).

(There they all go...turning gray...and Branch is just looking around at everyone, clearly upset by this.)

(His expressions here...you can tell he's thinking, "I've gotta do something!" And he does, and it's beautiful 🥺)

Thanks to Branch, Poppy and the other Trolls are able to regain their colors, and thanks to Poppy, Branch FINALLY regains his colors after 20 years!

(He's getting his colors back! I always feel so happy when I watch the True Colors scene, it's just so beautiful and satisfying 😌👍)

(They're so cute, look at them dance together 🥺! Broppy is best Trolls ship and no one can convince me otherwise, these two are PERFECT for each other 😌)

He thanks Poppy for showing him how to be happy, stating that "happiness is inside of all of us, sometimes you just need someone to help you find it", quoting one of Poppy's lines from earlier in the film. Branch now feels comfortable singing and dancing with Poppy and the other Trolls as they teach the Bergens that same lesson by singing "Can't Stop The Feeling", which helps the Trolls finally make peace with the Bergens after many many years of fearing being eaten by them.

Poppy is crowned queen, Branch finally asks for (and gets) a hug from her even though it's not Hug Time, and the movie ends.

(They are so adorable I can't take it!)

This is not the end of Branch's journey though, there's still two more movies to cover! I'll be covering the second movie hopefully soon, so I hope you look forward to that, and I hope you enjoyed this character analysis on Branch in the first movie! If I missed anything please feel free to let me know in the comments! I sometimes miss things especially with relatable characters because sometimes there are aspects that trigger me so I try to forget about those aspects, and sometimes the character as a whole just hits too close to home and writing analyses on them is too overwhelming because of that (Branch is one of those characters, so it took me ages to write this and gather all the GIFs and images...and also this entire analysis was written ENTIRELY from my memory of the events in the first movie, so there's that part too). Also please excuse the potato quality images and GIFs...I tried my best to find good ones but most of them I found are just REALLY bad quality so...sorry about that 😅

Okay, that's about it for this post! I'll see you guys next time for another Branch analysis, this time for Trolls World Tour! Catch ya later! 👋

[karmaisahumanbeing]

A little more about Karma?

// OOC: (this gets very long, I apologize in advance)

I sort of rambled a lot about Karma in the main post, but I still have a few things to say that I was worried about adding, because I didn't want it to be too long! (long like that sentence, gosh..)

Anyway,

From what we know about his story, he was sold to a slave dealer when he was only a child and then along the way, ended up in Ace's hold. He's completely given up by the time he meets Fyodor, as he tells our favourite russian "you should just give in."

That gives us a few bits of information, especially if we embellish a little.

Karma is fatherless. Poor soul...

Seriously though, he doesn't even mention his parents when recalling his backstory. It's easy to assume he's never met them, or he ignores their existence because they were the ones to sell him off?

It's more of a headcanon i guess, but I assume Karma has gone through more than a few owners due to the fact that he's still alive when we are introduced to Ace. If he still had some fight left in him by the time he gets to the pm, Ace would have probably just killed him. Plain and simple.

I assume Ace's territory is underground, just because I can't see any windows around the place. Due to this, living with Ace would have added another level of helplessness and isolation.

This isolation would lead to Karma thinking highly of Ace, because while he's cruel and all that, if he says he's smart and no one disputes this then he is, right? he has fifty men by his side, and was organizing a mafia takeover. Ace was probably the strongest person Karma ever knew, so yes, he thought highly of him

Subsequently, if Karma were to have survived Ace's downfall via Fyodor, I imagine he would've spent a long time unsure of himself and just living day by day, trying to make decisions for the first time that were always made for him before.

Also, he overshares and trusts people with information about himself easily. I mean, he spilled his entire backstory to Fyodor WITHOUT A SINGLE PROMPT. he definitely has trust issues, but literally can't stop himself from saying things that can be left unsaid.

With a backstory like that, our current Karma has got to be a little fucked up, right? So, things I headcanon about Karma are:

He's completely socially inept. He never had to have conversations before, so he's not very good at them (totally not self projecting)

expect lots of "uuuh.." "You're... uhmm..." "... totally.. uhm..." kinds of things, and lots of sorrys!

To make matters worse, he has a lot of social anxiety, which sometimes becomes so bad it puts him in these states where he can't even talk.

not being able to talk makes him more stressed, to the point where he starts to shake, and he can work himself up to a panic attack pretty easily

He's jumpy around even the slightest mention of the port mafia, thinking that the entire port is after him and all that. he's extremely paranoid about it all

he doesn't know anyone by how they look, and he doesn't even know most of them by name. mentionable people he does know the names of is Chuuya, Koyou, and Dazai. he doesn't know Mori by name, because Ace always referred to him as "boss"

He knows next to nothing about the outside world. he's freshly escaped, and nothing is familiar anymore after years of slavery and being kept away from people.

honestly, he would probably be semi-illiterate, but that makes things difficult blogging lore-wise so I'm ignoring that

He thinks of Fyodor as his saviour, and looks up to him

He knows very well what money can do in this world, especially after living with Ace for so long, he's become a bit greedy and/or protective of what little money he has.

deep-seeded abandonment issues. totally not projecting.

i hope that all made sense. i might feel silly later and add more, who knows...

[four-rabbit]

I've seen some people questioning Remus as Fear in the new aside and I'm here to defend that placement.

As Virgil himself said, he would obviously be the first choice for fear, I think most of us agree on that, but he made even more sense with Anxiety for... obvious reasons, so we had to go for the second best

Roman loves adventuring and challenges, he always wants to get to new highs and outdo himself, so not him

Not all fears are irrational, but a lot of them are and even the rational ones can easily be exaggerated in your mind, so not Logan either

Janus hides things for you so don't have to think about them. Or fear them.

Patton would be my third choice actually, he has a similar aesthetic to Fear and he's responsible for a lot of emotions, but his approach tends to be more "let's ignore those bad feelings and focus on the good things!" (I do think he could've been Joy, that would really work for him)

So we get to Remus. On the surface level, they're completely opposites, Fear is soft-spoken, jumpy, polite, and dresses like those over the top nerdy characters in old high school movies, Remus is... Remus, but that's how they manifest for the different people they belong to, cause obviously Riley (the 14 years old girl/nb who's into hockey) and C!Thomas (the 30 something theater kid) are very different and are gonna view and manifest their emotions differently.

But at their core, they can serve a very similar purpose: reminding their person of things they fear and that makes them paranoid and that they don't really want to think about, the obvious difference being that Remus is more about scaring Thomas and Fear is more about being scared for Riley

Just my opinion tho feel free to disagree just don't be mean about it

[slugghee]

Hi! May I get an explanation for your 0612 rainbow charm hc?

Ofc! Thanks for asking!

I interpret rainbows🌈 as something like an emotional support charm ("the rainbow after the storm")

Initially, Die would just see Eggs as just some idiot who occasionally irritates him with all the ruckus he makes. He's pulled Eggs (and Biscuits') pins a few times, but his dislike towards Eggs is rather impersonal and just a natural extension of his misanthropy. He wouldn't hate nor think about Eggs as much as he does towards, let's say, every single solid.

Eggs, while earnest, is easily discouraged. Though he was quite social with the Felt in the beginning, over time he's learned which ones respond to his attempts at socializing well, and which ones he seems to offend no matter what he says. Die is in the middle. Eggs said hi to him a couple times but he just sort of stared at him. So eventually he stops because he doesn't want to be annoying. Eggs also spends the bulk of his time with Biscuits, and Biscuits thinks Die has creepy vibes (which isn't wrong). Eggs has a pretty neutral opinion, but none of this gives him much incentive to approach or hang out with Die.

One way or another, they'd find themselves in a situation where they're in the same place. Maybe it's game night and Die is skulking around. Eggs might blurt something like how it's a good surprise that Die's around, not an unpleasant one. He wouldn't think much of it.

Die, on the other hand, would think about it quite a lot. He wants to be suspicious, but even he has trouble believing Eggs has ulterior motives. So after some period of furtive observation (which Eggs definitely notices but doesn't know what to think of it), Die would hesitantly initiate something on his own. And that's all the encouragement Eggs would need. From then on, Eggs would initiate so many hangouts it'd make Die dizzy. They'd get to know each other a lot better and realize they actually click quite well.

Die is paranoid but Eggs is equally straightforward and earnest. Die would eventually feel comfortable sharing his passions, even the more macabre ones, and he'd surprise himself with how nice it feels to actually share them with someone else. For his part, Eggs is open-minded and curious about Die and his interests, even if they're admittedly a bit spooky. He likes learning about all this stuff, especially if it means he's learning about Die, who has a lot of interesting thoughts and philosophies. Eggs spends a lot of time going on silly, if inane adventures with Biscuits. Die's more quiet, morbid sphere is refreshing.

Okay let's FINALLY get to the rainbows 🌈. Die and Eggs both don't really like themselves. Die is intrinsically aware of this and accepts his unlikability as an immutable fact. Eggs lives in a loop of distracting himself from real introspection until it inevitably creeps up on him again. Both would get meaningful support from each others' perspectives. Die's obsessive understanding of suffering would allow him to recognize Eggs' anxieties. Even if he's not great at taking his own advice, Die would gently help Eggs explore his worries and unhappiness, which he otherwise would have little idea how to acknowledge or deal with. Meanwhile, Eggs likes Die and all of his unique quirks. He doesn't always deal with things in the best way, sure, but Eggs very much does not see him as inherently unlikable! Eggs's steady optimism and appreciative outlook would help prevent Die from crumpling into self-destructive cycles and make him feel like a different option is possible.

I just think they'd be sweet :]

[boogeyalltheway]

Sanders Sides Character Recaps and Fortune Telling, what fun

let me start by saying I have suddenly been thrown back on the Fander train without my consent and this is the result of that. its a doozy, but if anyone wishes to discuss further id be delighted. so:

Virgil: came a long way, accepting being accepted, he's still dealing with the guilt of his past i spose. getting more familiar with everyone, him and logan are cute (platonically). Of course as Anxiety, he still struggles with lying (because we get nervous when we think about getting found out) and intrusive thoughts (what if im a bad person) but as a person(?) hes learning to come to terms with that, well on his way with a few crises coming his way, theres that whole thing with saying Paranoid to him, hope we face that. I see self discovery and good things coming his way, a win for all you virgil fans!

Roman: clearly, getting pretty emotionally beat, yknow, sides with Janus to be shot down, goes against Janus to be shot down again, significantly lacking in wins recently, you wonder abt his self esteem. Still doing his job great, which seems to be the only thing hes got going for him which is concerning. in the You vs Yourself vid hes very unsure about his moral views because he recognizes hes not Morality and when he proposes arguments they are based on endgoal, just like hes usually been as Passion, creativity, career drive, you might say? I dont see his arc being addressed in his near future, but I'm sure it will come to that. I see dark times before his good times roll, hang in there Roman fans, he'll get his moment.

Patton: Hes really been going through it, hasnt he. I mean, recently he just found out there was so much more complications to his job that he wasnt prepared to handle and to be faced with it all at once must be really challenging, especially when everyone is expecting results from him and he doesnt even know what to do and theyre all judging his decisions when hes just trying his best with all these new factors to consider with his job as Morality. Its easier for him to come to terms with Janus as deceit than Remus because he can easily see how lying can be good (even though he knows its also not a lot of the time) but he still doesnt really know how Intrusive Thoughts are helpful to Thomas or good in any way. I see in his future, job related anxiety and insecurity. It will be adressed, and its also good he was allowed his breakdown early (You vs Yourself, you can tell I really like this episode despite a severe lack of Virgil and Remus)

Logan: Well. we all know how this is going, I mean, hes the talk of the town lately! As a Logan fan, I can attest to the fact that he did used to be more lighthearted and smile more and I can also attest to the fact that Thomas is very aware of his development as a character and I don't think he'll let yall down. just, what I can glean from his videos. we're all waiting for him to go apeshit, and I with you, and i do think its coming very soon guys, hold on to your proverbial hats! I do enjoy that hes clearly indifferent to the new additions and not thrown off like the others. due to the fact that he is Logic. Id also like to point out that logic can be wrong and everyones logic is different. even if its less so compared to how anxiety is. so. logic is still susceptible to human whims. anyway theres been plenty going aorund abt ignoring logan and the orange side, and I'm always up for discussion on any of these guys. Hes really been just going ham into his job, huh? search for purpose, hmmm? ponder on that morsel. more alcohol in his life as well, an interesting observation.

Janus: oh, the snakey boi. How hes grown. he does a lot of drinking too. what for, I wonder. I do think the preposition to his song reveals a lot, like how Patton is talking to him more, how he knows truths and knows that some need to be hidden and its healthy to lie sometimes even when you know its a lie. Hes confident in himself and his abilities and knows when the criticism is ignorance vs actual criticism, which is why he values Logan's perspective on his arguments and brushes off Roman's jabs to his ego. Hes safely on the ride, and I dont see any heavy existential crises or anything in his near future, as in, he (and Remus, I'll talk about it later) will probably be the only mentally stable ones as the Light Sides are having their purposes reevaluated. Confidence is surprisingly key. who'da thunk it?

Remus: My favourite rat man. True to his name, hes very intrusive, and I admire his determination in his fight for acknowledgement. I think it will serve him well, the "face it bluntly hands on" tactic compared to Janus, who understands where he stands in the others' eyes and will slowly but surely snake his way (see what i did there?) to the table. Remus, and I love it about him, is just running forward to acceptance MACE ABLAZING and I hope it takes him good places. the WTIT ep was very revealing. his confidence in himself, like Janus's, will carry them through the generally rough patch that I predict is coming their way. i do think he is salty abt being ignored, which I interpret as the biggest difference between him and Janus (who might also be, but I dont really see it? I might also be in denial cuz this theory is really working for me) and Remus is wounded by it and trying to hide the fact that hes salty with his craziness and randomness that no one understands. its why he feels mor menacing than Janus. who knows, Janus might be just as peeved but hiding it better? settled himself in for the long game?

both dark sides certainly seem bent (and betting) on getting Logan to lose his marbles, but idk whether thats for Logans good or so the Reasonable Light Side (tm) will see what its like? and by proxy everyone else...? the tail end of the theory is escaping me now. its also 5 am.

Cant wait to see how the orange side manifests, wont that just be plenty of fun for all?

[ikamigami]

Was not expecting Moon and Monty to immediately get smashed-off-their-ass drunk together and Puppet is the sober one but oh well, Moon's gonna have a fun time with that hangover

Yeah, he'll have a fun time with that.. I hope though that he won't be too angry.. cause idk how Sun will take it :/ (that's why it's important to drink responsibly so you won't make others around you worry too much or be uncomfortable around you)

Though I'm not surprised that Moon got drunk so quickly lol he kinda seems like someone who gets drunk easily

But for Monty.. I didn't expect them to get drunk so quickly.. but I knew that they got drunk sometimes with Foxy..

And I think that it was kind of expected that Puppet wouldn't get drunk lol

Also.. I'd like to address something here if you don't mind it, dear anon..

Cause let me be clear.. this was a funny episode where friends are hanging out together, drinking alcohol and getting drunk.. and it was obviously made to be fun episode..

While on the other hand Sun's drinking was never presented in a funny way.. in most instances when Sun's drinking habits were brought up someone was worried - New Moon, Puppet, Foxy - so it was setting a completely different tone compared to whenever Monty and Foxy or now Monty and Moon got drunk..

And let me tell you something.. people were upset about me saying that Sun might have an alcohol problem.. mostly because of their personal experiences with alcoholism.. and while that's valid.. at the same time people don't have to get drunk - because this was most common argument against Sun having drinking problem because he wasn't drunk - to become addicted to alcohol because that's not how addiction works :)

If you drink daily to relax - ease anxiety or whatever - and you also lie about your drinking habits - how many drinks you have per day etc. - and you act reckless - you're breaking law or you're making bad decisions - it's a huge red flag and it means that even if you're not getting drunk from drinking alcohol, it's still affecting you - your decision making - which is one of the easiest ways to become an alcoholic..

And this is exactly what was with Sun.. and now he stopped drinking - from drinking every single day to not drinking at all - and he's in worse mental state.. like again it's understandable considering what happened with New Moon and that NM tried to kill Earth and Puppet tried to force Sun to agree on killing NM.. but at the same time they brought up a few times already that Sun is thinking about finding himself new drinks - and what's worth noting is that drinking alcohol worsen symptoms of psychotic disorders (and other mental disorders as well) but the same goes for when someone experience withdrawal..

And again we can clearly see that Sun is in worse mental state than he was before - even before his first (major) psychotic episode - he's more depressed, he's paranoid (recent example - his uneasiness around cutouts in Moon's lab and in case you didn't know it is caused by paranoia), he's most probably experiencing hallucinations and he's having suicidal thoughts and most probably he's having delusional thoughts - also Sun's hands are shaking a lot but because he has anxiety it can't be used as hard proof that Sun is experiencing a physical symptoms of withdrawal, same is with him being more tired and him lacking motivation or that he doesn't enjoy doing the usual activity or he's performance is worse than usual cause it's most definitely caused by his depression.. but than again all of these symptoms could get worse because of alcohol withdrawal..

I wouldn't be surprised if Sun started drinking in secret (secret drinking is a thing btw) just to cope with his symptoms but mostly with hallucinations, delusions and suicidal thoughts.. but it may not happen.. but if it did happen it'd make his mental state even worse..

Also I'm treating this very seriously.. just because I'm not including people's experiences regarding this topic it doesn't mean that I'm treating it as a joke.. because I'm not.. I'm talking about Sun and I compare his experiences with experiences of those people who match.. comparing Sun's experiences to everyone else's would be pointless and just straight up stupid..

Sorry if this come across as rude but I was accused of not treating mental disorders seriously and with respect just because people don't like that I relate to Sun - when surprise surprise they do exactly the same thing with their favourites - so you can imagine how much frustrating it is to me (especially if you know about my mental issues and what I went through in this fandom)

But again I'm sorry for ranting under your ask, dear anon cause most definitely it wasn't something you were expecting to see in the answer..