#maybe ill do npcs. maybe. at some point

[funnyjokespuns]

ISAT but what if they were furries lineup!

Here it is, at last! I’ve been working on this for a while… a lineup of the cast in my furry au!

The style becomes a little wobbly bc it took forever, but please enjoy! They are specific choices for specific reasons… waow! A reblog will be coming with the individual images, but for now enjoy this! (And just the party under the cut!)

See them cute…

[lockedtowers]

also if we’ve written before and yall wanna be affiliates hmu

[thanatika]

I want to know about comphet dankovsky

the people clamor for comphet dankovsky. well alright.

this might be a little long and disjointed, but i'll try to explain my full thought process. it'll be long and very off-topic.

as a tl;dr, the basic #1 reason i have this headcanon: it fits very well with how seriously repressed dankovsky seems to be, especially in P1, and especially when it comes to love:

of course, it's not just love — he also acts deeply uncomfortable whenever the topic of mental illness comes up, or whenever someone cries in front of him. but this just goes to show that emotional repression and denial seem to be standard coping techniques that he falls back on. (this is reinforced by the quarantine DLC, where apparently one of the devs has said that the bodies of bandits he kills disappearing is meant to represent him dissociating and repressing it.)

this coping mechanism is also lampshaded in the changeling route, where the npc bachelor makes an impressive discovery — he figures out that he's a doll all on his own, and then decides that this is the lesson to derive from it:

"the essence of my discovery", indeed. it's a little unclear what he means by "deny yourself" — deny his true nature as a mere toy, and the corresponding mental breakdown that would understandably accompany that? or maybe it's to deny his own self fulfillment of what he actually wishes to pursue. clara's next conversation with him is their last one, in the cathedral, and even right at the end, he's still conflicted by his own desire to preserve the town (which is supported by his own route, where he's given dialogue options that imply an intention to save it even on day 12):

which, notably, he connects to allying with the haruspex, an option he immediately discounts because "the only thing artemy wants" is related to his love interest, aglaya. (honestly, the way dankovsky talks about artemy in relation to aglaya at the end of all three routes is really easy to read as some kind of incredibly jilted unrequited love triangle. but that would make this post twice as long, so anyway.) clara's exchange with dankovsky in the cathedral ends with this:

test failed! but why is this the wrong answer? and why does clara interrupt him to guess what he's going to say? well, it's actually a little meta moment, a reference to the fact that clara is imbued with more awareness than the other player characters, to the point of having some knowledge of previous routes. the player-as-changeling predicts that he's driven by love, because the player-as-bachelor can admit exactly this to artemy, during their cathedral conversation in the bachelor route:

aside from the loaded daniil-artemy-aglaya dynamic, it stands out to me that the only way dankovsky can bring himself to admit aloud to being "driven by love" is if the player controlling him prompts him to. he won't do it on his own. he won't be a great talker right now, especially on this topic.

though to be fair, he does say "i love the polyhedron" to clara, which has some significance as well. dankovsky sympathizes with the polyhedron, makes an emphatic defense for it being "worthy of love". his affinity for it is more obviously connected to the fact that he sees it as something that defies the laws of inevitability, as something similar to his own work, as he explains to the inquisitor: "I feel slightly envious. Like me, its creator has tried to break through to where men are not allowed. But, unlike me, he succeeded." and therefore, a miracle worth preserving. but the polyhedron itself is a product of love — peter's love for nina — and is spoken about in terms of love by peter himself:

the polyhedron loves, but it's a doomed, unrequited love, incompatible with life. dankovsky's dialogue options about the polyhedron by the end game are a mixed bag: sometimes he talks about it in these romantic terms, sometimes he's much more practical in his defense of it, hyping up its antiseptic properties. probably it's a way of allowing the player to choose what they think, but it may also serve to emphasize dankovsky's hesitance to express this emotional aspect of his sympathy for it. but it does seem like the doomed nature of the polyhedron is a major point of sympathy to him. the same goes for the utopians in general, according to the letter he sends to the haruspex declaring his allegience:

which gets to the topic of how the concept of dankovsky and compulsory heterosexuality relates to the utopians.

for that, i first have to point out something that i don't really see people talk about ever: the way that sexuality in general is moralized by the three different factions in the game.

the utopians are the most obvious about this: they're kind of debauched, aren't they? at least by socially conservative standards which place procreative heterosexuality and traditional gender roles as the ideal. all of the canonical lgbt characters fell under the utopian banner at some point: bisexuals andrey and eva, lesbian yulia. even beyond sexuality in those terms, you can see non-normative sexuality in things like eva's polyamory, the somewhat inverted gender roles of victor and nina's relationship (which is said to have been a common topic of gossip among the townsfolk), the fact that maria seems intent to either follow her mother's path as a non-traditional wife or to forgo a marriage partner altogether, the uncomfortably enmeshed dynamic between andrey and peter, simon and georgiy's lack of heirs. the utopians have been stated in developer interviews to be a (not particularly sympathetic) metaphor for social revolutionary movements, which often incorporated progressive thinking in terms of sexuality and gender. so i think that's where this comes from, although it does also feel a bit "sexual deviance as a signifier of immorality". the classic gay disney villain trope.

and the humbles feel even more like they're playing into that trope. in addition to yulia, their ranks include aspity and bad grief — who i would be tempted to include in the list of canonical lgbt characters, considering aspity's comments about women's bodies and the suggestive comments that bad grief can make towards both the bachelor and the haruspex. it's also worth noting that the only thing separating the humbles from the utopians, at least as far as the humbles are concerned, is that the humbles are repenting sinners while the utopians are ultimately unrepentant. alexander and katerina saburov also fail to live up to heteronormative standards, because their union is non-procreative, but at least they have the decency to be wringing their hands over this. and this view of utopians as unsaved humbles is why clara spends half of her quests trying and failing to convert various utopians to the cult of humility.

with all of that going on with the other two factions, the termites are starkly different in comparison. the termites are a faction of children, so there's not much about actual sexuality, thank god, but their whole deal is shockingly heteronormative nonetheless. the termites, at the end of the game, are preoccupied with setting up traditional arranged marriages with each other under the guidance of capella:

(note to patho2 heads: this is classic where "artemy adopts sticky and murky in particular" isn't really a thing. still weird with how much younger murky is, but khan and capella do have the same age gap in classic. so i think this is all meant to be read as a childish playacting of the sorts of political arranged marriages that were once more commonplace, or it's just the problematic game being problematic.)

overall, they seem rather unenthusiastic about these future marriages. capella refers to her future engagement with khan as "the saddest" thing she has to do and "self-abnegation", while sticky is more casually disappointed by his future options. artemy is also the only healer to have an implied love interest reward tied to choosing his ending — you could argue the same for dankovsky and maria, but this is disproven by word of god and the bachelor's absence from his own ending cinematic — a heterosexual love interest, of course. because this is a big part of what the termite ending represents: it's framed as "new beginnings", but "new beginning" is really just a return to tradition. to the perpetuation of normative social values, the lack of any scary social upheaval. the Law. just look at how the inquisitor, the biggest proponent of the termite ending aside from capella, describes how the Law relates to self-discovery:

"an attempt to cognize oneself is a provocation" is interesting phrasing when compared with dankovsky's "self-denial is the meaning here" discovery from the same route. i used the sloppy 2005 translation because it includes a whole additional sentence that was cut from the remaster, so i'll also share the 2005 version of that self-denial exchange. rather than say "It's only fitting that you should reject" your nature, clara's retort to him was originally more explicit in putting a religious morality on human nature, and his in particular:

but i'm getting sidetracked. the main point i have in breaking down how sexuality is moralized between the different factions is to point out that for one, dankovsky's affinity with the utopians allies him with a group that is portrayed as debauched by conservative standards of sexuality, which to me has always been an indicator in headcanoning him as gay, secondary to, you know. things that he says. but the fact that he never fully joins the utopians is part of why he seems so repressed to me.

the fact that he doesn't appear in his own ending cinematic (it's more like maria's ending cinematic, really) has been confirmed to be intentional, and even on the last day of the game, his dialogue options towards his bound imply a certain amount of discomfort with them. the one exception might be peter, but dankovsky's final conversation with peter has two ending options: to say that the utopians and their future town are doomed to fail, or to support peter's vision but express regret that the cost of supporting him is bringing "a gang of criminals and scoundrels" into power.

part of dankovsky's schism with the utopians, imo, is that they go "too far" — they're "too weird" for him, is what was said when someone asked in a forum why he doesn't appear in the utopian ending, iirc. and there's something to be said for how the utopians are portrayed overall as very personally liberated, egoist, a bit hedonistic in some cases... and then dankovsky, who appears very buttoned down and whose dialogue options at times lean more towards agreement with alexander saburov than with the kains on the issue of town management — very law and order. it's an interesting contradiction to his character overall: someone who's so invested in breaking natural laws, in breaking laws of inevitability, but who still makes emphatic statements about enforcing law and order in the town, who still seems invested in performing and projecting a certain kind of social respectability.

the bachelor route day 2 conversation with andrey about "unnatural orifices" is one of the best encapsulations of this imo, so i'll break the whole conversation down to try and explain.

the conversation starts off with andrey offering booze to dankovsky, and calling him a "prisoner of science" — the first of what will become an ongoing pattern throughout the game in which dankovsky's scientific "rationality" is referenced as something that limits him, either by leaving him cold and heartless or by skewing his mindset so that he can't see beyond his institutional academic perspective.

dankovsky turns the conversation to what he wants to complain about — the town's local traditions inconveniencing his work — but andrey takes it as an opportunity to start talking about the "intimacy" of making holes in bodies, including in a sexual context. andrey as a character likes to be provocative, dankovsky's options are various levels of discomfort, disinterest, and dismissiveness. (if there's one thing you can't accuse him of, it's "locker room talk" — he responds with similar discomfort when peter tries to gossip to him about katerina sleeping with taxidermy, or tries to tell him about the sexualized naked women he hallucinates when aglaya visits his loft).

he tries to dismiss andrey's crude line of thinking, which is criticized as an appeal to capital social mores. and then andrey starts talking about unnatural holes.

don't get me wrong, this conversation is about murder — and, by way of metaphor, the polyhedron, which was created by puncturing an unnatural hole in the body of the earth. but andrey beginning the conversation by talking about sex, combined with their university acquaintanceship alluded to in their first conversation (getting in bar fights together and everything) leads me to read a secondary double entendre into this conversation. not to mention andrey's canonically implied bisexuality, some of which is likely inspired by the character taking inspiration from benvenuto cellini, a bisexual renaissance-era sculptor who was repeatedly prosecuted for sodomy. dankovsky accuses andrey of "creating unnatural holes in bodies", which has been linked to dissection, murder, and sex from the start of the conversation.

andrey makes a vague reference to the fact that he did possibly kill someone with a pencil — the earth, via his insane architectural designs — but it's "just a theory". phew. then he swiftly changes the subject before dankovsky can ask too many questions, and ends the conversation by making another invitation for dankovsky to join him in drinking and debauchery. "no need to restrict ourselves", etc.

i'll note that an invitation to drink together is levied again at dankovsky a little later by eva, and in that case is explicitly implied to be an invitation to sleep together. in both instances, dankovsky wants nothing to do with it. his first option is to tell andrey to go right ahead and drink alone — enjoy your liver damage, buddy, couldn't be me. his second option is to accept the drink... but not in public. either way, being told to "open up everything that's supposed to lie hidden under wraps" is dankovsky's cue to leave the conversation.

a reach? yes, but that's how i interpret the subtext of these conversations as they relate to dankovsky's repression and his view of the utopians.

honestly, i've made the case for him being homosexual and repressed here more than i've made the case for him to be engaging in compulsory heterosexuality. so i'll end by pointing out that while i've typically seen people headcanon a character as comphet to explain a canonical "hetero" relationship or attraction they express, there isn't much like that going on with dankovsky to talk about, at least in classic.

sure, he has some dialogue options with women in classic that are flirtatious, but it never seems like the dialogue is leaning the player more towards picking those options than not picking them — there are just as many options to express disinterest in women being attracted to him, and sometimes they're the only response options, which makes me more inclined to view those as "canonical". so, really my headcanon comes more from this view of him as rather repressed, and specifically that messy contradiction of his character in desiring to move past societal restrictions while also never fully letting go of his own, the fact that he seems to feel the need to "prove himself" by society's standards. and, well, his practicality. his study of thanatology seems to have left his reputation in the capital somewhat smeared, likely due to the connotations with necromancy and violating the natural order. i could see him attempting to salvage his reputation somewhat by trying to prove that he's totally a perfectly normal guy who can be in socially normative relationships, and not just some weird academic radical.

pathologic 2 and marble nest don't say much for or against this, aside from dankovsky's "I never even told her how I felt…" voiceline, which is likely about eva. but we don't know enough about the context or their relationship, and will likely have to wait until pathologic 3 to find out.

though, i will say that the quarantine DLC had an exchange that i'm taking as ammunition for this headcanon:

guy who invents a hypothetical wife just for a hypothetical scenario where he has to give up that wife. and then is immediately told by his close female colleague that """given the way he lives""" he'll never have a wife... okay.

okay that's it. congrats if you made it this far into my rambling haha.

[thatdeadaquarius]

Topic: Genshin impact.

au: Sagau.

idea: So what if you had the powers of every character you played as in every game you played and then get isekaid into genshin impact with imposter au. I imagine it goes smth like

Zhongli: “I will have order!”

reader, Who played Roblox as someone who lagged the game (explanation: I’m pretty sure ping is also how time works in games. If you can control the flow of ping you can control the flow of time in games.): “ZA WARUDO!”

Heyyy!! Thanks for waiting for the reply/response from my slow ass :0

So they did clarify what they meant/expand so imma just copy paste that here!

“k now I remember. So basically imma write it here since it’s easier: Basically you don’t have to (but you can) transform into the character that has those set of powers but if you do those powers are enhanced.”

Sun: Reader (”you”/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, Light Imposter AU (as in, NOT Yandere/Dark), mild crossover elements bc Shapeshifter Shenanigans™️

Stars: bro idek

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: mild cussing, genshin typical mild violence, & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

so fair warning,, ive never seen jojo bizarre, but i appreciate i come off well-read/watched? LMAO

so im just gonna kinda,, guess? like just cycle thru diff. random media, and im hoping both me and you reading this will have a fun time (as this is a little challenge, but i like it so ill give it a shot, dont kno if its a good one but- 😅)

so to set the scene, of how u got to this point, ykno of running like ur life (maybe?) depends on u running around different teyvat countries,

u thought it was weird everyone knew a little too much about you?? (ofc theyve heard u during gaming, they know u the same way we all know Markiplier, get it?)

then a bunch of NPCs/Vision users/Archons?? were REALLY invested in talking to you, which freaked u out even more

and by the time you saw Zhongli, yknow, just the oldest god in game, making a fast-walk towards you, ykno the retired god who didnt move an inch when an old water god attacked Liyue for a test, is now hurrying to you???

ur logically get so fucking scared sm shits abt to go down, u just start running

it isnt until ur reaching for a ledge and some webbing shoots out of ur arm (from a glitchy little spot on ur arm, where it could be coming out of ur skin, but sometimes its a blue and red bracelet)

it latched onto the nearest building, and thats how u find out u can grapple ur way, literally Spiderman style, out of the harbor

and bro, idk if it would be fun, or confusing and stressful, or maybe both?? to just find out u can use any video game power from any game youve played before as you go running from countries bc for some freaky reason they know too much abt you/are pursuing you-

dUDE- they had small statues of you in like every little section of their cities

u head to Mondstadt and as Venti comes screaming and flying at you (in excitement, but ur freaked), u go to hold a hand up and suddenly ur holding a heavy stone tablet that unleashes some holographic yellow chains that freeze him in place-?? why is this familiar-

oh my god u have the sheikah slate from Breath of the Wild,

and as ur booking it out of there, u manage to get ahold of a sword, and u know exactly how to use it to knock back favonius knights trying to stop you (they are concerned for their god who is just unleashing random powers on ppl, pls let Grandmaster Jean just talk to you Your Majesty-!!)

by the time you teleport ur way to Inazuma, (bc u still have this worlds access to ur player/traveler’s powers), ur trying to find a nice place to stay for a little bit

at least in that sweet spot of the Raiden not noticing/finding you, while things cool down on the main continent, before moving on,

and u get some tools to help fashion just a little shelter, bc u dont have any money/mora rn, and ur able to literally build a house???

a mailbox pops up and thanks you for renting with Tom Nook???? As in Animal Crossing-

and rlly if the BOTW/slate thing didnt clue u into video game powers, then this definitely would tbh lmao

right as u see Yae Miko circling ur house, with an armful of books? ..is she planning to thru them at you??, u get the hell out of dodge before her favorite god can follow along

(she knows ur prefrences in books and got authors/trends to start so youd have plenty to read, and she was making sure it was ur house before politely dropping them off! how was she to know thatd spook their favorite God, Ei?!)

u get to Sumeru and think ur safe, hiding in an abandoned forest watcher outpost (1 person treehouse rlly) when Nahida shows up in ur dreams,

and u just,

walk out of the dream, into reality, and possess a nearby ruin guard so u can sleep in peace, bc she cant access a robot,

that one baffled u as you re-possessed ur own body before realizing-

Five Nights at Freddy’s. 💀

U cant do that forever, so u try Fontaine, hoping Neuvillette/Furina wont rlly give af abt you, plus theyre the latest region, so maybe they have the least exposure to whatever the other archons didnt like abt you??

u get there and are immediately summoned to court, and right as the mekas show up to escort you, jfc they have a mecha army

(meanwhile, theyre thinking, yknow. high profile guest/our god of gods. ofc we need state of the art mekas to escort them, its only polite-)

meanwhile ur cape has now become wings, and a mask covers ur face as you glide and fly ur way over the city in an attempt to get to where u assume Snezhnaya is

it doesnt occur to you the game until ur running out of stamnia and catch ur reflection in the waters of fontaine, Sky: Children of the Light

u hope the Tsaritsa’s dislike for other gods/Celestia doesnt extend to ur otherworldly presence so ur just hoping for the best atp tbh

tbh youd forget what all powers you have, and the absolute chaos ur causing urself as u try to desperately rememeber what games youve played thru ur entire life is NOT helping to reduce confusion when u randomly wake up with elf ears (legend of zelda/botw) or get dragged into another ruin machine when u fall asleep/faint/do smth u guess mimics death lmao- (fnaf) 💀

…

(meanwhile the Tsaritsa does get wind ur coming this way, and just, makes the people have a parade/festival to celebrate you coming,

she did also have to get Pierro/Captaino to physically restrain some of them from going ahead to meet/escort you to the palace, she’d heard how the others scared u off, and was, ironically, hoping the warm welcome would clear things up)

☆

well that was, something. 😃🫠

sorry lil car, that was such a fun idea idk if i did it justice!! i thought itd be too op to include every media youve consumed ever, so i kept it to video games, (which, could u cheat the system if youve played smash bros??)

i hope it was at least a decent read, and sorry im half asleep so i was not v funny this time around, but, again, hope u got smth out of it 😭

</3

on another note, im having my wisdom teeth surgery this friday, send whatever u got my way, prayers, blessings, good vibes, ill take anything im nervous 🙃

have a good week guys!

Safe Travels Lil Car,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit / @chinuneko / @silvers-tongue

If ur tag doesnt work, pls check ur settings to see if ur a "searchable blog"!! Its not the same as the Ai selling data thing.

[softringing]

There's always been a question that bugs me about sampo. Obviously, there are several, but this one specifically, has to do with his ideologies involving elation.

If sampo cares about people so much and desires to make everyone happy, why did he not take direct action in those 8 years he remained in belebog?

We all know sparkle said sampo has a line that he won't cross, and that line is very clearly not hurting people, well at least the ones who have already been hurt enough.

We see this from sampo's actions in the underworld vs overworld. For some reason, even tho sampo is a scammer and values money, he has never attempted to scam underworlders. In Hook's companion mission, hook's father had a rare mining item that was stolen by an npc named Skipper(?) I believe.

While Skipper was trying to sell this item to sampo, sampo kept insisting that he was selling it at such a low price. His direct words were "Are you sure you want to sell this at this price to me?"

And he kept hesitating until hook and tb found skipper and took the item back. We can see cleary that sampo means no harm to those who are weak but when he's in the overworld, he's known for scamming ppl like Chavez from Anti-Blue Scam Society without much remorse.

From all this, it's clear sampo has never done something to hurt anyone seriously, and to add to this, shields is the name for the belebog currency. Yet, in sampo's idle, we see him holding a different currency.

This pretty much implies that to sampo, belebogian currency would be useless. Although we know he's a scammer, we don't really know why he cares about money so much other than this text we got in game from him

Sampo seems personally tired of doing this :( but says that he has to to feed few mouths which we can take as him trying to help the ppl in the underworld with the money he 'earns'.

So, here we return to my initial question, why didn't sampo directly help ppl of belebog with their disaster if he has so much power?

He is hiding from a certain someone-- as mentioned by @/samposillies, in sampo's LC, the exact same currency he's holding is shown & his eidolon

(money model from @/kittykattz)

If u look really closely into his LC, you can see not only that it's from a POV of a sniper, but also another assasin behind sampo, holding a gun and wearing a foreign attire to belebog. The description also matches that someone's obviously trying to kill him, as told by the sniper himself.

At first, I assumed it was the ipc but their outfits lean towards red rather than plain black. Plus, although it looks like sampo isn't in belebog, there are two posters in the lc on the brick background and you can find these coffee posters in belebog at the location "Backwater pass".

But the thing is, sampo uses the non-belebogian currency (assumed to be Kalevalan currency) to convince the sniper to talk to him.

The lc's name is Eye of the Prey-- and although it's from sniper's POV, Sampo is clearly the Hunter, while the sniper is the prey.

This led me to think that someone from Kalevala is perhaps trying to kill sampo while he was in belebog, which is strange bc the world believed Jarilo-IV did not exist before the astral express saved them. Meaning that whoever is trying to kill sampo probably always knew about his whereabouts hence sampo decided to keep a low profile and decided to help underworlders in such a silent approach.

Not to mention, the currency sampo's holding doesn't have the usual hsr language on it (pointed out by @/samposillies)

(maybe it needs horizontal flipping ill check it later)

Therefore, we can assume sampo didn't help belebogians directly by bringing an end to the stelleron bc he's being chased by someone. and even tho sampo appears non-chalant or calm about it in his lc, maybe he just doesn't want that person to come and specifically show up in belebog.

We don't know why that person's trying to kill sampo but there are lots of reasons, just like the fact that sampo is LITERALLY the 'device' from Kalevala as referenced in his event. He CAN legit create ancient relics,

he laughs it off as a typo BUT HE CAN CLEARLY MAKE THESE RELICS!! GEPARD ALSO MENTIONS IN HIS LINES ABT HIM THAT HE SELLS A NUMBER OF ANCIENT RELICS!!

"ancient" MEANS OLDDD, like really old!! How can a normal person make such things?? Not to mention sampo can make his bombs and is immune to their poison and a MEMORY bubble (in autheirum wars), which had the description of being "abnormal or unusual"!! Only memokeepers can make memory bubbles, and herta has several of them in her space station. So he either stole one or knows how to make one himself!! Sampo also made those items in his pop-up shop event with some materials the tb brought so there's no doubt he's the object that's supposed to 'bring wealth'.

Or could it be that sampo is like Giovanni? He prefers natural endings rather than artificial ones? he's still a masked fool no matter how different his aesthetics are after all... LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU ALL THINK!!

Edit: Here's the flipped image of his money but I still can't read what it's supposed to mean and tried to google translate in Finnish but didn't. Work

[getvalentined]

Decomposition Versus Dissolution: The Breakdown of Bodies in Final Fantasy VII

Warnings for discussion of death, dead bodies, and the desecration thereof, as well as references to digestive and gastrointestinal processes including illness. Features images of dead fictional characters and spoilers for basically the entire Compilation.

This is something I've been chewing on for quite a while, and this post is a bit of a doozy because of detailed examples cited to indicate support for this interpretation. It doesn't work 100% of the time, but it's consistent enough that I'm comfortable personally accepting it as accurate enough, and talking with @skadren about it earlier gave me the impetus to finally organize it well enough to put out into the public sphere. Consider this my personal standard model of Gaian decomposition—if and when we get a better canonical explanation, I'll take it, but for now this works for me, so maybe it'll work for you too!

In the world of Final Fantasy VII, there are four possible outcomes after the death of an animal lifeform:

Decomposition – Organic breakdown of physical remains over time after death, as seen in the real world.

Dissolution – The energetic breakdown of physical remains at the moment of death.

Delayed Dissolution – The sudden energetic breakdown of physical remains at some point after the moment of death, prior to the onset of traditional decomposition.

Rejection – Cases in which the remains neither decompose nor dissolve, physical remains left intact and energetic remains unabsorbed by the Lifestream.

Floral and fungal life appear to be subject only to decomposition, while the outcomes for native microbial and viral lifeforms are unknown. This piece considers all fiends, even those with characteristics similar to floral lifeforms, to be animals, although it's more likely that fiends in-universe comprise their own unique clade on the tree of life.

There's very little information within canonical lore to even directly imply the determining factors for any given outcome, but we can gain insight on these factors by noting when and where a given outcome occurs.

We do have to accept that some instances are based entirely on game mechanics rather than on any lore, as sometimes the field needs to be cleared in order to maintain the gameplay experience, but the fact that we see all of these in cutscenes through the series make it clear that it isn't only a game mechanic.

Based on known instances, prerequisites appear to be as follows:

Decomposition occurs in lifeforms with no or low mako exposure, or with a unique connection to the planet. These remains are able to rot naturally, as that's the most effective way for their remains to feed Gaia's life cycle, helping to "feed" the planet physically as well as energetically. If we consider the reabsorption of living things in terms of digestion, this would be equivalent to consumption of a so-called "whole food." We can assume this is the case based on the existence of livestock within the FF7 universe, and the known canonical instances of this outcome:

• Ifalna – body dissected by Hojo. (source: FF7R)

• Seto – body petrified and intact in Cosmo Canyon (source: OG, FF7R, OTWTAS)

• Aerith Gainsborough – body put to rest in water. (source: OG, AC)

• Dyne – body buried by Dio. (source: FF7R)

• Melphie Kusakabe – body found by Sonon. (source: FF7R)

• Kalm and Nibelheim locals – bodies used in experimentation. (source: OG, BC)

• North Corel and Gongaga locals – bodies buried by other residents. (source: OG, FF7R)

• Wutaian NPCs – bodies found outside Nibel Reactor. (source: FF7R)

• Rhadoran NPCs – bodies buried by Sephiroth. (source: FF7EC)

• Mr. and Mrs. Rhapsodos – bodies buried by Genesis. (source: CCFF7)

• Unnamed Turks – bodies buried by Genesis. (source: CCFF7)

• Most non-fiend animals – The presence of meat makes this pretty obvious. (source: OG, FF7R)

Dissolution occurs in lifeforms with moderate to high mako exposure, presumably due to energetic destabilization at the point of death rendering the remains much easier for the planet to reabsorb. Following the same digestion comparison as above, this is similar to the human body's accelerated processing of refined sugars as compared to raw sugars or whole foods. This also appears to occur based on the will of the planet, but the these cases are extremely rare, with only one known occurrence.

We can assume this is accurate based on the following known instances:

• Grimoire Valentine – body began to dissolve while still alive but actively dying, disintegrating entirely at the moment of death. May be a special case due to cause of death. (source: DCFF7)

• Lazard Deusericus – body dissolved at the moment of death. (source: CCFF7)

• Secondary Project G Subjects – bodies most often seen to dissolve at the moment of death in both gameplay and cutscenes, except in rare cases discussed below. (source: CCFF7, DCFF7)

• Midgar locals – implied by the dramatic lack of corpses following the Sector 7 plate drop. (source: FF7R)

• Shinra employees – implied by the dramatic lack of corpses following Zack's last stand, as well as the presence of equipment but no bodies in Nero's training room. (source: OG, CCFF7, FF7R)

• Various fiends – shown to occur in both gameplay and cutscenes. (source: CCFF7, DCFF7, FF7R, FF7EC)

• Kadaj – body began to dissolve while still alive but actively dying. Dissolution appears to have been based on the will of the planet rather than energetic instability. (source: AC)

Delayed dissolution occurs when the remains have been subject to certain types or levels of energetic corruption, even when paired with high levels of mako exposure. This appears to occur either due to an inability for the planet to reabsorb the remains immediately, or because of a partial rejection from the Lifestream.

Energetic corruption in the world of FF7 is stored in the Void and eventually consumed by Chaos, as shown in Dirge of Cerberus; it's safe to assume that these delays occur due to Chaos being more or less unavailable during the course of known canon, having been removed from its post in the mid-1970s and hosted in Vincent Valentine's body in the early 1980s. This explains the growing pollution of the Lifestream during the course of canon, as the planet's primary filtration system is missing or damaged until after Omega's premature awakening, but the energy in question is still compatible with the Lifestream to a high enough degree to eventually be reabsorbed.

Following the digestion metaphor established earlier, this would be similar to eating heavily processed or partially spoiled food with a damaged gut biome, leading to slow digestion, discomfort, and eventual illness.

These cases are slightly more difficult to confirm, but are proven to occur via cutscenes and narrative in the following instances:

• Zack Fair – body persisted long enough for Cloud to collect himself and leave after a year of catatonia, but neither present at later visits to the location nor indicated in any source to have been recovered following his last stand. Shown to have been "taken" by Angeal, although this may have been strictly thematic. (source: OG, CCFF7)

• Angeal Hewley – confirmed by Hojo's statement via mission brief that his body was not recovered, in spite of having persisted after death in Modeoheim. (source: CCFF7)

• Gillian Hewley – unconfirmed but presumable based on the persistence of her body during the razing of Banora and the delayed dissolution of all primary and some secondary Project G subjects. (source: CCFF7, FF7EC)

• Professor Hojo – as shown in the screenshot at the top of this section. (source: DCFF7)

• Lucrecia Crescent – indicated by her body's persistence even as her energetic remains have been slowly eroded by the Lifestream over time, even after her initial rejection from the Lifestream similar to discussion below. (source: OG, DCFF7)

• Secondary Project G Subjects – most notably a handful of Copies from both Genesis and Angeal. This may be based on their manner of death, as Copies killed in the presence of Sephiroth seem to persist for a time, while those killed elsewhere do not. (source: CCFF7)

• DeepGround SOLDIERS – shown to leave corpses persistently enough for Nero to play with them in order to scare his opponents, but indicated to eventually dissolve based on the presence of damaged gear but lack of corpses in Nero's training room. (source: DCFF7, FF7R)

• Various fiends – shown to occur in gameplay and cutscenes. (source: CCFF7, FF7R, FF7EC)

• Various NPCs – energetically only, shown to be incapable of disseminating into the Lifestream after death due to some polluting action or affect applied during life. Should not be confused with rejection, discussed below, as the energetic remains of these lifeforms will eventually dissolve properly. (source: DCFF7, OTWTAS)

Rejection is the most rare outcome following death, at least with regard to physical bodies; energetic rejection is slightly more common by volume, but only because of one very large group energetically rejected by the Lifestream at a point several thousand years pre-canon.

Rejection is only indicated to occur for one of two reasons:

Incompatibility with the Lifestream itself.

The will of the planet based on necessity.

In cases of incompatibility, it's similar to the concept of mixing oil and water, two materials that will always eventually separate if not subjected to a chemical change to allow incorporation. With regards to the will of the planet, this occurs when the subject in question is integral to the continued functioning of the planet itself, and can't be allowed to remain physically decomposed or to energetically disseminate. To complete the metaphor of consumption and digestion, rejection via incompatibility would be instances of eating materials that can't be digested and should be ejected from the body, while rejection due to planetary processes is similar to swallowing something important and intentionally inducing vomiting in order to reclaim the item in question.

There are only six known cases of complete rejection, and one population-wide case of strictly energetic rejection:

• Jenova – complete rejection, body in usable condition with will intact even thousands of years after death. Remains persist in usable condition even years after destruction of main portion just prior to Meteorfall. Rejection appears to be caused by incompatibility due to extraterrestrial origin, as most individuals with Jenova infection, even severe cases, are eventually capable of dissolution to some degree. (source: OG, AC, FF7R)

• Sephiroth – complete rejection, body mostly intact and will fully intact five years after his death in the Nibelheim Incident, with will remaining energetically active even after final destruction of body. Body also capable of being reconstituted based on force of will. Rejection presumed to be caused by incompatibility due to Jenova's extraterrestrial origins. (source: OG, AC, FF7R, OTWTAS)

• Vincent Valentine – complete rejection, body regenerates and reconstitutes after death on multiple occasions. Originally serving as host to Chaos—a Weapon—the powers bestowed by this role persist even after its consciousness returns to the planet, proven by Vincent's return to form in Chaos' cave following complete physiological destruction during his last stand to stop Omega. This repeated rejection from the Lifestream, both physically and energetically, implies Vincent's position postcanon is that of Chaos' successor, not its container, rendering him integral to planetary processes. (source: OG, AC, DCFF7, OTWTAS)

• Cloud Strife – complete rejection, rejected from the Lifestream and healed of mortal wounds and illness multiple times. Rather than being due to incompatibility based on his S-cell infection, Cloud's rejections being fairly gentle—similar to Vincent's—seems to imply he's integral to planetary processes, presumably due to his unique ability to subdue Sephiroth. (source: OG, AC)

• Nero the Sable – complete rejection, body reconstitutes in the Void upon death while will and energetic remains persist on multiple occasions. Genetic relation to Chaos through use of corrupted mako in his conception presumably lead to him being viewed as equally integral to planetary processes, even if this may not be the case. (source: FF7DC, FF7R)

• Weiss the Immaculate – complete rejection, body persists even after death with will intact in spite of assumptions to the contrary and canonical complete energetic purity. Rejection appears to be due to his position as vessel of Omega, another Weapon, which renders him integral to planetary processes in much the same way as Vincent Valentine. (source: FF7DC)

• The Gi – energetic rejection only, affecting the entire species, although some bodies appear to still be intact in Cosmo Canyon for use in merit trials; possibly reconstituted through force of will, but more likely maintained by locals for cultural reasons. Rejection is due to incompatibility with the Lifestream, as the Gi are extraterrestrial lifeforms much like Jenova. (source: FF7R)

Again, there are instances that go against this interpretation, although those primarily take place in gameplay rather than in cutscenes or narrative, lending credence to the concept that these exceptions are based on game mechanics rather than lore.

If you read this far and this speaks to you, great! I'm glad I was able to shed some light on this particularly confusing fictional subject! If you read this far and this doesn't speak to you, that's also fine! Implications within canon don't necessarily make a particular interpretation the canonical one, after all.

Either way, thank you so much for lending me your time—I hope it was an enjoyable read, if nothing else.

Source Key: OG - Final Fantasy VII (1997) | AC - Advent Children (2005) + Complete (2009) | BC - Before Crisis (2004) | DCFF7 - Dirge of Cerberus (2006) | CCFF7 - Crisis Core (2007) + Reunion (2022) | FF7R - Final Fantasy VII Remake (2020) + Rebirth (2024) | FF7EC - Ever Crisis (2023) | OTWTAS - On The Way To A Smile (2004, 2009)

[bilbob963]

I know I said during the week in my last post but I was bored and kinda wanted to do this…

Sooo, what if Caine is the only one who can allow them to leave but only when the game is complete but…what if it’s not the actual game/ adventures…say that’s just part of the whole process and the actual adventure is them all finding themselves and learning that it’s ok to no be ok and they’re not alone.

Imagine it being like hypnosis therapy. There minds being thrown into a wacky world that represents the brain whilst the body is in a deep sleep and all these adventures, objects, buildings and NPCS are obstacles and lessons like memories, phobias, traumas, dreams, nightmares, child hood. Basically all that stuff that stands out in life. Your character is your players card or something that represents you and there’s other people there with you because end of day your not alone as many people a fighting silent battles with in the mind and soul… there is a lot I could say about this, the mind is a strange place, very familiar but unfamiliar at the same time…

Anyways, getting to the point of this pic…

- Ragatha needs to accept she can’t please everybody, instead she should be doing what makes her happy. She also needs to learn she can’t sugarcoat everything and sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

- Jax needs to understand it’s ok to be scared and it’s ok to show that vulnerable side, he also needs to learn that’s it’s ok to feel and show emotions other than hiding behind a fake smile.

- Zooble needs to understand that they’re perfect the way they are. We all get self conscious at one point but end of the day the only thing that matters is you and what makes you happy.

- Gangle needs to let it out, she needs to be heard. This new episode showed how much pain she’s holding in and how she’s struggling. Trying to stay calm whilst under pressure and yet so many thoughts and emotions going through your mind can be tough for anyone, maybe she needs someone to lean on and to tell her she doesn’t have to do this alone…

-Kinger I believe is trapped in his own mind due to a memory illness. Not being able to do nothing to some point where you’re imprisoned in your own head and mind and only certain things can remind you of those happy moments. It’s tormenting, day after day forgetting who you are in and out. What Kinger needs is the whole gang to help get him out that dark pit and in the right environment where he feels comfortable and everybody’s there to remind him who he is and what has. The positive things that help the memory and the emotions. He needs to be around people not pillows.

-Pomni, well gotta say I’m struggling for this one. The first and second episode she showed some social anxiety, not wanting to talk much or interact but yet keeping distant. she also doesn’t like being touched and seems very jumpy and fidgety so let’s say maybe there’s some kind of trauma/abuse like thing. Episode three she mentions a ‘he’ saying she belongs down in hell and saying he was right, bursting into tears but what we also see is her being a shoulder to cry on, someone who’s seems to be in the right place at the right time.

It’s gonna be one of those things where she’s gonna listen and give advice or something positive, the one to tell them it’s ok but who’s gonna be the one to listen to her and tell her it’s ok. Kinger did listen but like she said, soon as he’s back in light hell not remember…

Oookkaay, sorry for another long post. There’s so much to say and yet I haven’t got the brain capacity to word it so I do apologise if it doesn’t make sense or I’ve messed up somewhere. It’s 1:11 am and I need sleep haha these are just my thoughts tho so each to their own…goodnight/ morning or whatever I don’t care …

[shiki-jin]

YOUR CELESTIAL MAJESTY • SAGAU

(part 0 here)

was listening to TruE on loop while writing the last part of this, it's genuinely such a good song ugwvdya

also can you spot the contradiction ;D it's plot relevant i promise

not proofread, dont bully me ill write a thesis on why youre a meanie

—

you had long deleted genshin, since you had other things to do. you had wanted to go back to the game for a while now, now that you were less busy, but there was just one little problem.

it was now taking up nearly triple the amount of space that it was when you uninstalled it. around 300 whole gigabytes.

jesus christ, what phone can even handle this???

your phone, apparently. because as you opened the game to see if maybe a miracle would happen and that if maybe they would just, like, remove half of the things in the game, it just… kinda loaded?

no installing new files, no checking for anything, no nothing…. just an immediate pan to the gates of celestia.

you decided to check if it was the right genshin since this was just way too weird, but countering your judgement, every link you found led you to the same game, leading you to believe it not to be a bootleg or an illegal version.

guess i’ll trust it then.

you clicked on the gates which opened smoothly, and your screen turned white. then, the symbols of the seven elements appeared in gray.

and then the game just… opened. no loading time, once again. no getting stuck on the geo symbol, nothing. nada. just a smooth entrance into what you had to assume to be teyvat — but your surroundings didn't really support that claim.

the grass was brown and just looked off, the sky was gray. a darker shade than, say, mond’s walls, but it was like one of those game crashes.

well, except you could still move around.

you moved your current character around (the traveller? since when were they the only one in your team?) and decided to open the map after not figuring out where you could possibly be.

hold on, this is springvale? since when?

eveything looked dead, like it had been rotting for a century. you tried to ignore it though, and teleported to the inside of mondstadt. surely this was just some glitch, right? one that would fix itself if you teleported?

maybe the world loaded incorrectly, maybe the fact that nothing took time to load meant that it couldn't load, maybe this or that, maybe…

maybe this really was how the game looked normally. you hadn't done any quests though, so you wondered if it could be restored.

you took a screenshot of the your surroundings — the stone, worn down and dirty. the houses which looked to be in a horrible state, and… the npcs, all sickly and pale, like they were starving.

you went to reddit (yes, reddit), and posted the screenshot, asking if it was normal.

you closed the game and decided to take a nap, too tired to really deal with this shit any further.

while you slumbered, people replied to your post.

╰┈➤ lol me too anon, me too

╰┈➤ isn't the game closed or wtv? how'd you get this wtf

╰┈➤ they're trolling

╰┈➤ o makes sense oops

╰┈➤ So we’re all still mourning huh

╰┈➤ jokes aside that's a super impressive edit ngl

you remained unaware of the truth, but you'd find out soon enough.

actually, you'd find out now, apparently…

what the fuck?? why is my bed so hard now?

you groaned and forced your eyes open, seeing a dark, nearly black sky.

the only light was a single star, lingering right above you.

“since when was i outside...?"

a voice spoke to you, answering your question.

“you always have been, have you not? but would you like to head inside, my lord?”

... huh? i recognize that voice...

—

p.s. place your bets on who it is, i’m thinking of one specific character but if there's a fan fav i'll make it them instead since i haven't written anything beyond this point (⁠・⁠_⁠・⁠;⁠)

p.s.s. don't expect updates to this series too quickly, i wish i could write as quick as i think of ideas but sadly that's not the case orz

[martialartslover7]

Headcanon time: I feel like, the Blank Period after Shippuden was kind of a missed opportunity, in my eyes. Look, I get that everything needed to wrap up, but... seriously? We don't even get an emotional, on-screen scenario where Naruto finally becomes Hokage? Maybe after months of him forcing himself to suffer through these accursed Chunin exams (because bureaucracy fucking sucks, but, it is what it is), getting promoted to Jonin, before he can even HOPE to apply as Hokage?

(Image belongs to Ammitastic on DeviantArt)

Another thing, in the Blank Period, I don't care what anyone else tells me, Neji Hyuga, the GOAT, deserved to live, he did not deserve to die so disgracefully in the war, being turned into a wooden pimp cushion. Hence, I will not ever canonically acknowledge his passing.

You know what passing I WILL accept though, in my mind? Hiashi Hyuga. That piece of work actually deserved to go out like that, after everything he did to Hinata, her cousin and her sister (this is a can of worms I will open up another time). And because of his death, the Hyuga clan is left without a leader during the Blank Period. It would have given Hinata something to do, to actually participate in the process, along with Neji, on how they will be resolving this problem with the leadership question, mending the bridges with Hanabi too, outside of just being immediately reduced to a birthing machine. And don't get me wrong, I don't mind Naruto and Hinata getting busy (*wink*), they deserve it, but, the way it was shown off in the anime, came in such a jarring and abrupt way, I thought they would actually give it some time first, because, being an adult, is coming with a lot of unique difficulties, that need to be discussed first. I would have enjoyed some of that "being adults suck" point being discussed from Naruto's and Hinata's POV.

Like, before even having Boruto and Himawari, they could have just settled on enjoying life together for a few years, before the true stress with their jobs and children begin. They are not their families, they should be smarter about this.

Plus, this point is more of a stretch on my end, but, the anime talked about the "Madara Crisis" of sorts, where loyal, mentally ill followers of Madara demanded for the Infinite Tsukuyomi to return, which translated to me, only means: A Madara Crisis story. Like, it's not just nameless NPCs that are affected by this, but also specific shinobi that Naruto & Friends met, in the course of their lives. The Dead Rising geek leaves my body here. For real, imagine, some shinobi, like for instance, Kakashi (in my AU, Guy died fighting Madara, I really don't care what people try to tell me, him getting saved at the last minute just cheapened everything about his violent assault on Madara, sorry, I love Guy too, but if he died, he would have truly become a legend, think of it that way, it's sad, but a far more fitting end to his character), Hanabi, Shino, Tsunade, etc. being hit the worst by this Madara influence, where they would also join these followers, just wanting the emotional scars to close up, as some wounds just never heal, no matter how much time passes, and the 4th Shinobi war also contributed to their problems and emotional states. And they, in the context of a Dead Rising scenario, become Psychopath boss fights, except that, unlike there, you don't kill them. This saga would have given so many side characters a chance to take the lead for a change, and show off, how much progress they had made, coming over from the 4th war, to the Blank Period. I will just leave this here.

That's all for now.

[anakinh]

arcane characters dnd classes

because im bored and hyperfixating

Vi: Monk. Pit Fighter Vi is Way of the Drunken Master. Drunken Master monks fight hand-to-hand 'mimicking the style of a drunkard'. Technically you don't have to be drunk to be a Drunken Master monk so maybe she still uses those techniques while sobered up later. I think she starts out as a Way of the Open Hand monk, which is just a monk that is Very Good at Punching. The gauntlets are a magical item.

Jinx: Artillerist Artificer. Very straightforward. Makes bombs and cannons. Can use magic (referring to her use of hextech as bombs)

Ekko: Scout Rogue/Chronurgy Wizard multiclass. Scout rogues are very mobile so I think it fits him. Later on he takes two levels in Chronurgy Wizard, which gives him chronal shift. This lets him rewind time briefly to change the outcome of an action - fits pretty well, I think. He only needs two levels wizard to mimic his rewind ability and that multiclass makes him fast.

Viktor*: Transmutation Wizard. In the DnD world, both Viktor and Jayce (and Ekko!) would be wizards because they can just study magic instead of trying to harness it via technology. At level 14 the Transmutation Wizard can use their 'Transmuter's Stone' to create a panacea - a cure to all ills (plus restore youth and raise the dead. sounds familiar). Luckily, I think Transmutation Wizard fits Arcane-Viktor as well (especially once he creates the hexcore, which could be his Transmuter's Stone).

Commune Viktor is an NPC with a three-phase boss fight. The first phase is so simple you know there are other phases. I'd probably add in a mechanic where you try to talk him down in the third phase.

(Alternatively commune Viktor as we know him does not exist because the spell Revivify exists and Jayce shouldn't have to turn to unlicensed necromancy to get Viktor back**. Speaking of...)

Jayce*: Hexblade Warlock/Paladin (Oath of the Watchers)***. Again, if left to his own devices in a DnD world, Jayce would be a wizard. I'd say Abjuration (tanky wizard with protective shields) because he wants to protect people (and he's tanky), Order of Scribes (if he's focused on learning/harnessing all magic). Divination to pun on the 'Man of Progress' thing or if you interpret his glitches in s2 as visions of another world/seeing the truth of the commune members/arcane spidey-sense, which tbh really works

However, If I wanted to create Arcane-Jayce in DnD, I would make a Hexblade Warlock/Paladin multiclass. Hexblade warlocks get magic from a weapon, so it can be flavoured as Jayce using his hammer to do/cast magic. The hammer blasts can be very easily flavoured as eldritch blasts. Paladin is added narratively after the post-apocalypse world but not needed if you just wanted to mimic abilities. I'd go for Oath of the Watchers because they literally protect the realm from extraplanar threats. I've seen some people go for Devotion. That's fair, but it's a bit too Knight in Shining Armour for me.

Mel: Divine Soul Sorcerer. Also pretty easy - sorcerers come by their magic naturally, divine soul sorcerers get their power from a connection with the divine + has the gold/light/shielding imagery/spells. Hell, she's probably an aasimar? I don't know enough league lore to tell.

However, she only got her powers later. I think before that she was an Eloquence Bard or a Mastermind Rogue. Mastermind Rogues are more insightful. Both are incredibly persuasive - the bard moreso. The bard has magic - could be reflavoured as manipulation or as her sorcerer powers poking out before she knew about it. Later you could even multiclass her with sorcerer - works better with Eloquence Bard, but it's still not the most optimal multiclass (that's Jayce's). It's not bad, though, and if you only make optimal multiclasses in dnd you're going to get bored. I'd honestly go bard, only two levels in divine soul sorcerer for sorcery points, get metamagic adept feat for metamagic, it'll be fine. Divine Soul sorcerers get wings and healing at higher levels but if she's an aasimar she already has those.

Caitlyn: Inquisitive Rogue/Battlemaster Fighter multiclass. If you want to play a gunslinger in DnD the general advice is 'battlemaster with a gun'. She probably has the sharpshooter feat (she should have the sharpshooter feat). Inquisitive rogues are intelligent and focus on investigating, unravelling secrets. Rogue/Fighter multiclasses are very good - you only need three levels in fighter (edit: but maybe go for five for extra attack.) (She should also pick up the observant and martial adept feats if she can.)

Bonuses:

Vander: Vander is a bartender NPC at the tavern all our players meet up at during the first session. He's a retired high-level monk. Way of the Open Hand, of course. Just like he taught Vi.

Mylo and Claggor: I only added this because I re-watched the first episode and Mylo was apparently the only one who could pick locks. So Mylo is a Thief Rogue and Claggor is, idk, a fighter? (funnily enough both the artificer and the monk would be good picks for resident lock-picker. Not as good as rogue, but not bad)

Silco: Honestly, Silco would be an NPC with a commoner statblock, but I give him ridiculous bonuses to insight, perception, intimidation, and deception. That said, he did fight Vander, so maybe also Mastermind Rogue? With expertise in intimidation? (Still goes badly for him, though. Do not 1v1 a monk in dnd).

Singed: NPC combo necromancy wizard/alchemist artificer, focusing on the alchemy. I'd probably stick some Spores Druid/Death domain cleric stuff in just to be fun since NPCs can be whatever you want. Honestly, in the average DnD world he could just pay someone to resurrect his daughter and we'd solve half of our problems right there. He's originally from Piltover, right? He can afford it.

Ambessa Medarda: NPC Battlemaster Fighter and she has Rictus' anti-magic item that all your players hate.

Footnotes

* Jayce and Viktor cast 'spells' with hextech that reverses gravity, creates lightning, teleports - but, in the immortal words of Ms. Aabria Iyengar, "anyone can cast fireball teleport." Those are conjuration/evocation spells but you don't have to be a conjurer or evoker. Sometimes I see people think of enchantment wizards as 'wizards who enchant magic items' so maybe we'd put Jayce and Viktor there, but actually enchantment wizards do mind control. And, like I said, commune Viktor is an NPC with a three-phase boss fight. Transmutation wizards are the only wizards who can resurrect without making undead and they do it using their transmuter's stone. Although I'd argue that Viktor's commune members are undead... but anyone can cast the Animate Dead spell. And he's an NPC at that point so his abilities are whatever the DM wants.

** UNLESS you assume the hexcore is Viktor's transmuter's stone (which is how he casts the spells panacea/raise dead that I mentioned). It got corrupted as Viktor created it and when Jayce uses it to cast Raise Dead it goes wrong. (Despite its name the Raise Dead spell is supposed to be a normal, safe resurrection spell AND it cures all nonmagical diseases.) Anyway, we're getting into fanfiction now

*** My problem with the Jayce hexadin class is that it's optimized for charisma. Jayce is very charismatic, but his main characteristic is his smarts. A somewhat popular homebrew is to make warlocks int casters so you could go with that. In that case I might multiclass him with abjuration wizard for the extra tankiness. It's still not as good as the original hexadin multiclass so as a DM i'd allow it. Or just keep paladin, ability-wise you only need it for smites and his charisma should be high anyway. Probably your DM shouldn't allow all three on an int warlock.

On the other hand hexadin Jayce's high charisma makes him well suited for the 'talking down Viktor' mechanism in his third phase bossfight, which ... tracks.

[ganondoodle]

since im currently a slime monster (sick) and cant draw or write anything coherently, heres a short list of more things i came up with for the totk rewrite (botw2 edition) (some things may have been mentioned before already):

more weather types (like fog, storm)

specific enemies tha only spawn in certain weather (so you dont encounter all the enemy types constantly, everywhere)

underwater swimming returns! since im removing the building (so it can shine in its own game, ACTUALLY made for it) and added the hookshot as a main movement option i feel like its reasonable to include it (hookshot underwater like in tp is cool!!)

underground (which is more a rly big cave system, and more unique, with few access points) can be filled with water (creepy! cool!)

zora dungeon is absolutely the ancient water thingy (that serves only as single stupid button press for a nonsensical waterfall thing in canon ?????), its a giant structure in part like an aquedukt (? the roman water thing) and the bossfight is in a mostly empty reservoir (bc those things are freaking scary AND cool+ i know there is one where the ones who built it used old statue heads as foundations so ... what if they used botw sonau ruins similarly?)

bosses dont drop any crafting material (so they wont just have ... duplicates stomp around like its normal) and can be refought via an NPC (sort of like its worked in skyward sword) unsure if i should add a new one (like an ancient shiekah monk that just kinda chills in a special place you have to unlock first) or an existing one (impa? koga?? ngl i kinda like that idea lol .. he has funny dialog to each of them that may or may not be true, if you choose one of his fights he is very touched)

(cant think of more right now, i need to lie down, maybe ill add more later- but feel free to comment or add in tags what you think; and just as a disclaimer, i know its getting more and more involved and complicated, but i still dont think it would have been impossible to do, also this is still something that will never be real anyway, so why worry about how 'possible' it is :) )

[lizardanya]

not to continue being annoying and bringing up dead and irrelevant discourse (totk) but it’s kind of crazy to me how much almost mandatory resource farming they added into that fucking game.

like i Understand why they made armor upgrades cost rupees in addition to resources, it’s the same motivation they had for making hearty resources rarer and upgrading gemstones to functional items instead of just something you sell or an occasional upgrade item, it’s balancing the game to be a little more difficult by making its systems a little more complex. the difference is that 1. making hearty food more rare is just basic balancing 2. the reason the gemstone thing worked is bc it’s fundamentally about making me make an additional choice, going ‘do i sell this ruby to be richer or do i use it to set things on fire. what do i want more money or to set things on fire”. that choice is kind of diminished by the fact that there’s so many other elemental items that could be used for that purpose that are easier to get and that you accumulate naturally (i.e.: monster parts from elemental variants of enemies), but it’s still a choice that the player will most likely engage with at some point (probably early game). the idea is there.

the fairy fountain thing is just lazy. it’s not forcing me to engage with an existing system in a new way, it’s not asking me to make an interesting choice, it’s just like great. i have to grind for two things now instead of one. this process that was already inherently about grinding for resources is now just even more so. that’s the type of shit that doesn’t make engaging with this system more challenging, just more boring, meaning i’m just more likely to not engage with it more than necessary. and maybe that’s the goal? people said botw was too easy so we’re just gonna make one of the ways to make the game easier for u so boring u wouldn’t want to do it. great, guys. wonderful.

and like for context this criticism is coming from me, a guy who upgraded every single piece of armor in botw after completing the game just for fun. a guy who found every single blupee and cave in this game at the time when guides to the game were still being written so no one resource had the complete list of all the caves, nor all of koltin’s locations. a guy who FARMED STAR FRAGMENTS IN BOTW. do you know how boring, tedious and meaningless farming star fragments in botw is?

my point is i’m not someone who’s unfamiliar with boring, repetitive tasks that offer little to no reward apart from the feeling of accomplishment. i don’t mind farming for resources in theory. its just that there are aspects of totk’s resource farming that just make me feel cynical and not want to engage on principal, like it feels like the developers are sending me on a boring side quest that will make me feel like this game has more content than it does, just because they’re refusing for its systems to be simple or convenient. don’t even get me started on how needlessly complicated upgrading ur battery is, there is no reason for me to be talking to more than one npc, there’s no reason for this amount of transactions or locations being involved, this is all just busywork.

i’m gonna be so real i never finished totk, i at least checked out all the content it has to offer apart from the final boss fight, and part of it was bc i was like this game didn’t earn a final cathartic moment. this game just made me do a bunch of busy work, insulted my favorite characters (except for mipha ig… ill take it as a small peace offering from the devs for wasting her potential in botw), and took my favorite horse (guardian stalker) in the divorce.

also gleeok is a bad mini boss

[orangekittyenergy]

Here's a little story about my painful afternoon of dipping my toe into mods and blender and shit I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. Cannot emphasize enough how ill prepared I was for all this.

Tl;Dr - that shit is hard and you all have my respect and I have never felt dumber.

So, here I am obsessed with a tiny random NPC in cyberpunk and desperate to see more of them. Anything of them. "Okay, wait"....I think .... "People pull skins and dialogue all the time from game files? Why can't I?"

Okay let's just play with it. Cyberpunk has a pretty robust modding kit. And I find out quickly I need the mod toolkit from CDPR to find and grab specific files. Okay okay not so bad. I get it and start searching. But wait? The labels in cyberpunk are total crap and scattered all over the place. (More on this later) BUT I can search by name! Found the microblorbo I wanted!

BUT.... Wait to see anything I need more....Okay....so I download Blender so I can see this stiff (mind you, I've never touched Blender in my life) but I LITERALLY just want to see this one skin.

Okay fiddle with it a bit and extract some files, hopping back and forth between blender and the modtools where I'm getting the files (doesn't work at first of course - always just that default fucking cube). Oh okay I need the Cyberpunk extension into Blender. Okay what the fuck I'm this far in let's keep going...

It's not there. I need to enable something in blender to get it. Finally find the fucking extension, get the proper mesh file pulled and imported!! ...oh... Okay wait it looks like garbage 😭. All fuzzy and shit. Google more, OKAY....I need the fucking .ent file I GUESS!

Search some more in the files, no .ent for this guy! (Because of the crap way CDPR has their files labeled!!).

OKAYYYYYYY (I could've quit....or you know, used any sort of tutorial at this point but nah)

Search some more and there's apparently a mod that let's you click on a character in game and scan them for their .ent file. O K A Y. Download that mother fucking thing, BUT WAIT it doesn't work... Search some more and you need A WHOLE ASS SEPARATE MOD to be able to use the scanner mod.

I GUESS.png

I'm in too deep, download that mod.....still.... doesn't work. I'm 4 hours deep in this. Turns out I need this whole ass other thing to make this whole ridiculous set up work. At that point I'm literally the definition of the sunk cost fallacy and ready to pull my hair out. I finally gave up in defeat.

Anyway, that shit is hard. Maybe if I had a braincell left in me I could figure it out, but modders and rippers and renderers holy shit you have my respect.

If you read this far I guess hope you enjoyed my adventures in technology 🫠❤️

[crushedsweets]

what is jack and toby's relationship like?

oohh ive covered this a few times. i love them.

this post i did on their relationship basically sums it up !! ill do more under the cut

jack helps the proxies so that slenderman lets him stay in the forest as refuge. he doesn't like toby at first, seeing him as too violent, too aggressive, viewing himself even in his monstrous form as more human than toby - which is true, in a sense . toby kills for slenderman. he wouldn't be killing people if not for that, BUT he absolutely finds release in it - he makes a game out of it, he detaches himself from the victims and reflects all he wanted to do to his dad onto them. sometimes he catches himself saying exact phrases his dad screamed back onto them. bro probably called his victims 'npcs' at some point LOLLLL

and jack RARELY EVER does his own killing. he gets a lot of his bodies as a dark web human remains disposer(cuz he gets paid for it too), or from jeff. and it took a while for him to be able to stomach the shit he has to do to survive, so it's rough for him.

jack hates it, jack hates what toby does, but he can see so much in toby that goes beyond that and it fucking sucks and it hurts and jacks prob cried FOR toby before. not in front of him, but anytime jacks confronting his own mortality and humanity, toby is one of the first people that comes to mind each time, and he wants to throw up thinking about it. only nina can rival how emotional jack is LOL

it's kinda weird for toby the way jack treats him - sometimes he gets mad and accuses him of treating toby like some research paper in a book, because he knew jack had a decently privileged upbringing in comparison to himself, and hates the supiroirty complex. jack asks too many questions and is always just trying to grasp whats going on in tobys brain and its fucking infuritating for toby.

but jacks just always fucking there. jack is easily the most present person, always easy to find, usually calm. tim/brian are rarely around, kate is unsettling and hiding away half the time, jeffs a dick, bens unreliable, ninas in love with jeff and has a life seperate from the creeps. even natalie has long periods of time where she just cannot get herself to confront toby because she has her own issues and is struggling to even maintain her job as a waitress. she can't be there half the time.

but jacks never gone. jack rarely tells him to get the fuck out. jacks so welcoming, even if he's an annoying uptight prick who thinks he's better than everyone - and half the time, toby knows jack is. he knows jacks better than everyone else around him and it sucks fucking ASSSSSS being around someone like him, but its also something toby needs really bad

after a year or so of knowing toby jack would be able to comfortably say he loves him, whether its as a friend or a brother or whatever the fuck sort of fucked up shit is going on in these freaks heads . again, jack is INCREDIBLY FUCKING HUMAN hes emotional he loves so hard he hates himself he wants people he wants connection he feels so alone he wants everyone to be there he wants his mom he wants his siblings he wants to read he wants to walk around he wants to cook he wants to breath in fresh air. and toby really does put in some work for that. maybe not correctly, honestly he might fuck it up more often than he gets it right, but who the fuck else is gonna invite jack to go swimming on a random summer night ? how badly he wish he could see tobys face when toby asks to hang out

also this one shot from necroromantics if ur looking for good jack toby content . sorry for stealing tomb. u just get them so much . also sort of in the same vein of this drawing i did ... jack was full of life and empathy and love and joy for so long....... doesn't understand how toby never had any to begin with.

[fadetouchedsilk]

I think something else that kind of puts me off the neve/lucanis thing is the fact that this appears to be the one NPC romance that re-uses the same lock in scene we get as the player?

To the best of my knowledge this isn’t the case with Taash or Harding’s romance scenes, Emmerich & Strife happens mostly off screen so that’s exempt too. But for some reason with Lucanis it’s basically the same scene with Rook model-swapped for Neve.

Like, some of the vitriol towards this ship can definitely just be marked down as garden variety biphobia & the occasional side of character related possessiveness (no judgement we’re all mentally ill I’ve been there lmao) but I’m also just seeing this overwhelming sense of… idk how to explain it exactly, it’s almost like an energy of depressively resigned rejection across platforms? Was the decision to not have this be a unique scene for the player a budget issue/cut content? You can argue him remembering what your favourite dessert is makes it unique but honestly that’s just a few dialogue flags of difference.

It still comes across as a shortcut for the player’s story. Realism in relationships aside, I actually don’t think it’s a bad look for us as consumers to assume we’re going to get a certain level of indulgence here for that reason. I don’t think everyone needs to be falling over themselves to kiss Rook’s feet, but I think it’s okay for our chosen li to be a bit more of a fantasy, yknow?

If it was a given from the start that the npcs were going to pair off, I think it would have been better if this only happened after your romance of choice was locked in, or at least past the point in the game where you would get a lock in scene (correct me if I’m wrong, but those all seem to trigger around the same time for everyone). Because of how the game is paced, we’d get to avoid spending the first 40 hours listening to ambient flirting when we’re exploring, which imo would also help npcs being received. There’s a distinct lack of interpersonal reactivity Veilguard whenever it comes to Rook (genuinely, why is this such a lonely protagonist?) but the relationships between companions seem to chug along nicely. Seems like a bit of a design flaw to have pre-romance flags active but to still be hearing how much your chosen li is apparently into this other person?

I don’t see the same amount of pushback towards the other NPC romances as I do Neve/Lucanis, which honestly looks like it comes down to how his romance specifically was executed & how the narrative likes to prioritize relationships between other people vs. ones with Rook. I don’t expect writers to not have favourites because that’d be hypocritical of me lmao, but I do expect a professional studio to be more adept at either covering it up better or giving your players enough attention to offset it. I haven’t seen anyone reflecting on how comparatively empty Neve’s romance felt to other companions the way I have with Lucanis, so I have to assume it isn’t. But with his route, it just feels extra :/ that one of maybe three scenes we get is just recycled content for his other possible partner.

(Obligatory disclaimer: I see the vision behind the ship and I don’t hate it nor am I jealous, I just feel like with those two characters in particular it should have unfolded much slower than one game would have allowed & also I expect a certain degree of wish fulfillment when it comes to these games, not feeling like the player character is the writers’ afterthought. Hating Neve for this is a bit much because 1. She’s not real and 2. She’s also not responsible for writing decisions so I think taking jabs at the female character involved is kind of a waste of energy [once again I get the jealousy thing, but still.])

[evilbitchartist]

can i please hear about the legends: leon au 🙏 please

OK ok. so the basic idea is like a legends game where you play as leon doing his gym challenge!! im working on a design for him atm but hes gonna have a charizard cap (hes OBSESSED with charizards!! he got his as a charmander as a gift from prof. magnolia), and hes gonna wear the jacket hop gas now around his shoulders like a makeshift cape!

the whole game would be pretty low stakes until the third act which will be built up to as the story progresses. the main conflict is with leon's three rivals; sonia, raihan and piers. he's also friends with nessa (he actually hangs out with her more than piers and raihan), but shes got a really intense rivalry with milo so she refuses to fight leon because she wastes all her energy on him

sonia is kind of like hop where shes completely tied to leon's hip for the first half of the game (shes his best friend!!) and i THINK youd probably be scripted to lose to her in every fight against her (based on the implication that sonia was the only person who could beat leon back in the day in the manga), until she loses to opal and ends up heading home. dunno yet what ill do with her after that, still a wip </3

raihan is more like hop personality wise. hes determined to beat leon so hes always challenging him to battle, but he never wins obviously. he never gives up though! leon actually has mixed feelings on raihan due to his connection with piers, but ill get to that in a bit. raihan REALLY likes dragon types but he cant really catch them early game, so he starts catching pokemon that, coincidentally, are really good at controlling and setting up weather effects, and he starts to really enjoy using those in his battles!

piers is the most antagonistic rival. would probably compare him to gladion or silver. raihan (whos his best friend!!) encourages him to take on the gym challenge because he says the publicity could help save spikemuth (which is starting to fall into decay at this point, more on that later), and piers takes this as him NEEDING to become champion in order for him to help his hometown. hes not that bad at first, but after being beaten by leon a few times, he starts to see him as a genuine threat, and starts creating roadblocks that increasingly get worse and worse (based on him and raihan claiming that they did worse shit that destroying a historical monument in the manga), until he eventually summons an incredibly powerful pokemon or something. he'll probably be at least partially humbled after that. still working on him too. hes seen with marnie sometimes also because he didn't want to just leave her in spikemuth

at this point, chairman rose has like really recently taken over the league, and macros cosmos is just starting to show its presence nearly everywhere in galar (other than spikemuth which is already pretty unpopular with tourists and doesn't have any fancy powerspot, which is all the rage in galar and important to macro cosmo's vision of the future, so that's why its struggling at the moment).

still gotta make up some npcs (like gym leaders and such, because this is in the past the only gym leaders i have are kabu, opal and melony), as well as a few fakemon (like that one that piers summons maybe), but im planning to turn this into a fic! this is like... my ideal pokemon game though