#maybe i should try again?
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If you were to write a book, what would it be about?
here's my query letter for a novel i started writing last fall (but have since given up on :\)
Jane is an urban planner, trying to make New York City’s streets safer one bylaw at a time — until her husband is killed by a car while cycling to work. No longer content to fix the streets through the legal system, Jane vows to avenge her husband and make the streets safer by any means necessary — legal or otherwise. Told from multiple perspectives, including Jane, an anonymous urban historian, and a dangerous Brooklyn intersection, [NOVEL TITLE] asks what it would take to shatter the car’s deathgrip on American cities and how far one group of activists is willing to go to take the streets back for the people. The book is literary speculative fiction, set in the 2020s and following our characters through a few decades of arduous work reclaiming city streets, grounded by the real history of American streets
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someone just found my hanahaki imagine from at least five years ago way, way back in this blog
i don't know how you found it but i hope you enjoyed the pain, friendo
#i don't even write hanahaki anymore#i've tried it a few times#in a few different variants#and concepts#but none of them have stuck#maybe i should try again?
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remembering that all my old art exists but jeez i cooked with this one
#i should try rendering like this again#and maybe doing lineart again#lineart is so dookie sometimes tho looks nice at the end but the process is pain#rise of the tmnt#my art#rottmnt#rottmnt fanart#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt fanart#rottmnt donnie#art#rise donnie#rottmnt donnie fanart#rottmnt donatello
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Point of view: You've royally pissed off the most powerful being on the planet.
(Knives is currently not on the planet but above so it counts)
(please click on the full image! It's DIN A3 and the effect is better in full view, especially Vash's glowing eyes! Little close ups under the cut)
#late trimax vash my beloved#alena aquired new skill: colour your lineart without fucking up the pencil strokes and put the colour layer beneath!#shoutout to @plants-and-geraniums whose beautiful angel arm vash fanart inspired me to try that out again#now I don't wanna boast but I'm really happy with how these turned out#also found my new favourite tool on clip studio: the airbrush#also drawing space ship parts is fun#I'm putting some lines in there and suddenly it looks like that part has got some use#trigun#fanart#vash#vash the stampede#trigun maximum#trimax#aah I should maybe tag this with#trigun spoilers#sry that I didn't do this from the start
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Calypso knows how to throw a party
#ofmd#ofmd s2#John feeney#izzy hands#just the thought of tagging the rest of the crew makes me tired sorry-#anyway take this mess of values and colors i dont want to work on it anymore#maybe i will try somethign related to this ep again in a while#should restrict my color palette then#i threw so many gradients and overlay layers over this you have no idea lol
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always by your side
#couuugh. whehezze#hold on#project sekai#emu otori#pjsk#prsk#proseka#ok thatsg enough RANK 96 COOOOOGUH WHEEEZE#literlaly cough wheez ei have fucking covid. i wanted to draw something nicer for the event but my hands rlly hrut snd my throat hirts and#i was sticking my head in the freezer in between matches.#omfg i didnt think the end sprint was gonna be so insane i didnt have enough energy. mfers made me spend 700 gems. nene please.#i never wanna open the game agaon.(guy who will open it tomorrow and sunday) 16 MIL POINTS.. pimh was only 9mil. for rank 80smth.#the hatsune miku colorful stage tiering economy is in shambles#'im never doing that again' [will do it again in august]#event was insane. started out ill -> only 1 rate up card -> charger broke -> assignments -> covid on the last day. Be fr#to my beloved sakurako and fixer i wub you. ill try to finish my nice profile but well honk mimimi.#NSIFFLKE. SNIFFLE. WAAAAAAH#this is so lazy but i havent drawn for myself literally in a week. other than doodles i did between matches#actually theyre like little bobblehead emus all over my sketchbooks i should collage them into anpost#idk how people get that subtle gaussian blur on their lines i tried it but it looks so obvious to me here.. maybe bc i used a thick brush..#ok wonderhoy i need to lay down so bad tylenol save me. I ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWED MY LOZENGE IN THE MIDDLE OF A GAAAAAME
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I think this is one of my favorite lines from the Wraith route because of (imo) how much the meaning changes depending on if you got there via Spectre or Nightmare. For Spectre, it honestly strikes me as a genuine question. Why are you doing this to her? If you're on the Spectre route, you presumably already know the Narrator can't really be trusted, since you had to reject his reward to get here. What are you hoping to gain from continuing to hurt her? For Nightmare, it honestly just makes me sad. As the Shifting Mound describes her, "She desires only companionship, but the only thing she knows is how to hurt." This line feels like a plea from someone who genuinely doesn't understand why you keep rejecting her. She wants to be with you, but she just can't understand how to do that in a way which doesn't hurt you.
#at the risk of getting put on a list there is something tragic & relatable in nightmare#someone who desperately wants to make connections but just can't understand how#anyway wraith is one of my favorite princesses for stuff like this (and bc tragedy aside her route is a riot)#also im sorry if she doesn't say that line if you got there via nightmare#that's how i got her and i could've sworn she did? But i only found footage of her saying it in spectre#slay the princess#stp#stp wraith#the wraith#stp spectre#stp nightmare#side note archetypal/heart#(slash so i don't accidentally tag them)#pointed out on another post of mine that you get wraith via nightmare by killing her and via spectre by leaving her in the basement#in both cases its a rejection of her (rejection being one of wraith's main themes)#which makes me speculate on spectre's ch 3 (which i think we currently have very little info on?)#Trying to run from Nightmare should technically be a 'rejection' as well#but you get MOC from that (and from choosing to stay with her)#imo bc you're just repeating the same inaction which got you into this situation in the first place#you don't want to slay her. you don't want to set her free. So you just leave her there (again)#and so you get MOC where things have only gotten worse and you have no choice left. Because you chose *not* to take action again#So I wonder if spectre 3 will be a similar 'repeating your past mistakes' type of deal#i was skeptical about it coming from stabbing yourself while she possesses you or trying to crush her bones#but it does make sense with that in mind#im curious if it'll parallel MOC#except instead of having no choice but to free the princess you have no choice but to obey the narrator again#maybe you both end up stuck in the cabin forever again?#idk#sorry i probably should've put all of that tag in the post lmao
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How would you redesign Headmaster Magneto? Just out pf curiousity because while he served it didn’t feel like… Erik.
i have to keep it 100 i have no idea without just. rerunning his original design but with a palette swap LOL but we try around here
#xmen#xmen comics#magneto#erik lehnsherr#snap sketches#CAUSE LIIIKEE i want to keep SOMEE elements of the headmaster look obviously#i like its design intent. or how i see its design anyway idfk .... idk what im sayin im sleepy#just gotta. throw a few more things on there .... maybe... again i dont know 😔#the bigass M just makes me think of megaman gigamix i cant even lie#having/wanting to keep this as a one piece/leotard with that big ass m is probablyl whats stumping me if im so tbh#for some reason the lack of 'underwear' and helmet really is doing a lot for it Not feeling like magneto#the helmet i get Thats His Symbol ATP but the underwear ..... girl idk Strong Man or something like that#its just awkward because headmaster magneto is Supposed to be more tame or . 'domesticated' i guess vjALKE#not less powerful but he shouldnt be as intimidating/outwardly powerful if. that makes sense???#the first thought seeing him shouldnt be 'hes going to stomp me to death' it should be. Not That LKVJAEKj#BUT AT LEAAASSST in the back of the mind being likek 'he could probably stomp me to death'#SOME power but not to a threatening degree idfk what im saying my TUMMY IS RUMBLIGN AGAIN#what did i eat todasy. i ate like five hot pockets today thats what i ate. and some grapes#idk im tired. maybe ill try this again down the line#anyway enjoy if you can. saturday is upon us which means i can DOODLE AGAIN
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No one understands guilt better than a girl with emotionally immature parents
#personal#actually bpd#bpd#bpd vent#actually borderline#bpd thoughts#vent#actually traumatized#actually cptsd#emotionally immature parents#like my dad just stole my moms phone AGAIN to text me some BULLSHIT#as he always does. and I was mean because wtf#and now I feel bad cause he's trying to be nice even though 6 seconds ago he called me a spoiled asshole#I told him that if we never speak again he can look at the last chat we had where he basically called me a useless bitch#soooooooo 🤦♀️ unfortunately.....he never learns. I told him he should have never called me a stupid bitch when i was 5 yrs old#because that STUCK with me. so hard. and his response was well maybe you were being one#excuse ME?
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Random hcs that have been on my mind for the past couple days: now in doodle format!
Text for each drawing written out under the cut in case it's not clear or anyone wants to translate it!
(1) <- Somehow soft?? <-Sometimes makes a comforting hum/rumble <-Holding for support
(2) <-Walks so quietly everywhere he goes <-Is about to meet god
(3) <-Can't see well in the dark (no eyelights) <-Can't help himself
(4) <-Thinks Color will turn Killer against him and convince him to run away
(5) <-Thinks Nightmare is using them all for the negativity and has brainwashed Killer into liking it
(6) <-Thinks if he runs and jumps at Cross as fast as he can Cross will lift him and it'll look so cool
#UTDR#UTMV#My Art#Horror Sans#Nightmare Sans#Color Sans#Killer Sans#These are all kinda random but at least I got something drawn today!!#I do really love the hc of Horror having that slasher movement about him#Because I have it too and I wanna share it with him#I can't stop scaring the people around me by entering rooms or walking up to them and I think he should have that too#It's almost always unintentional and scares him too when they suddenly yell#But sometimes... sometimes it's for funsies#Killer refuses to use a light of any kind even when he can't see so he's kind of asking for it#Also this is the short version of how I think Color and Nightmare are in a dadmare situation#They still have beef but it's like. they're both paranoid#They both think the other is gonna convince Killer to never see them again but it never happens#Maybe it gets resolved in some way but that's for another post#Also HorrorDust cuddles#Because that's the kind of nap I wanted to have earlier so I'm living vicariously through Dust#Also my first time trying to draw XChara! I hope I did okay!!#Trying to incorporate them into things slowly for Wick#Anyway I need to consider sleep goodnight gang!! :D
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zinetober day 14! lacking a bit in content but those donuts were really good man
#zines this weekend are a bit lame cuz i'm somewhere else#but we ballin. maybe i'll get those donuts again tomorrow. or i should try something else#zinetober2023#zine#mini zine#illustration#nonfandom#analogue art#zinemaking
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oh okay heres one:
"sleepaway camp"= you go there for at least a few days, a week, sometimes several weeks, and sleep there, as opposed to a """camp""" where you go for the day and your parents or whoever picks you up afterward (those arent really camps, but like. idk when i went to "space camp" it was a weeklong but not sleepaway). in the U.S. at least, the typical image of a sleepaway camp involves staying in cabins, dunno how common it is/what it looks like in other countries.
for the first few i just mean like. not necessarily a stealth church camp, just like. idk, a camp where theres also an Assumption Of Christianity and just general vibes without being actually church camp. So, there might not be daily services and jesusy dedicatwd activities, but maybe theres still a prayer said over meals and shit. Which i assume might exist...
(oh and @reblogforsamplesize if u wanna)
#buzzy#poll#polls#personally: yes i went several times#and i enjoyed it bc. camp!!! yay!!!#but the Church part of it. complicated feelings on that matter#mine were all weeklong camps#went every year for a few years i hink#it was fun bc again YAY CAMP!!! and the ones i went to were like huge things#they had cool water stuff like The Blob and waterslides and some fun games and shit#you could do paintball#and i wasnt like. NOT christian at the time. but i also Wasnt Really Feeling It#i was mostly into it bc. camp.#...maybe i should have asked my parents if i could just go to one of the normal summer camps instead lmao#like the 6 week ones or st#that coulda been fun ....#so my answer is Its Complicated#i did like. participate in the jesus side of things. but i was also kinda knowingly faking it u kno?#i remember one time during a service i started having a bit of a panic attack (mostly bc of the MASSVE crowd. this was a huge ass camp)#but i still had to like. stay. still do everything. my pastor was being nice about it but still was like :( well you cant leave#i remember that was the day we did some shit outside w torches#like. carrying torches in a big procession like some sorta ritual thing ig. fuck if i know.#and i was like crying while following the procession and trying to stop#(the crying STARTED un the megachurch extremely loud giaant speaker GET PUMPED UP!!! area and continued to the torches)#thars my stringest memory from church camp aside from when i fcking DEMOLISHED the frozen t shirt game#(they gave a few ppl on stage frozen t balled up shirts and it was like 'okay first one to unball it and put it on wins!!!')#(and while the two boys i was up against started trying to tear it open with their hands i just#(in my cute lil butterfly shirt and pretty skirt started SMASHING IT AGAINST THE GROUND FULL BODY AAAUUGGHH and broke that shit)#(i was sooo proud of mysekf and my oastors wife thiught it was Unladylike of me but i fucjing won. the boys copied me after a sec)#(but it was too late i won :) anyway yeah like i said mixed feelings u kno. anyway go blue beetles woooo!!!!!
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Hello may 31th anon! Look at that, another year behind us and a new one to come. Have a nice day! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡
#may 31th anon#hello friends!! (。’▽’。)♡ how are you!! I missed you so much!#I'm sorry that once again i have not been posting but I did that thing again where I got scared of posting#I do not know why but it is the same with physical paper diarys#I have 3 diarys and they all have 1 entry#I think one just says 'I am ten'#what have you been up to!! did you do something fun? is it summer too where you live? c:#my tumblr messages seem to be broken! I'm sorry if you wrote something :C it just says 'no new messages' despite also saying new messages#not a lot has happened here! I got a tomato plant and then I got very invested into the tomato plant and I have eaten three tomatos so far (#my roses are also doing well!! I just got a new yellow rose and since she got here she only made orange flowers#I do not know the meaning of that#but I am very thankful! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡ I love it when things are orange!!#I've been trying to buy an orange shirt for the past 2 weeks but they always sell out before I get to them#I'm also thinking about buying a jean jacket#I have not worn a jean jacket for at least 15 years because one time in 7th grade tthe girl behind me said#that I was wearing a cool jean jacket and I just assumed that this was bullying for no actual reason#but maybe she just thought that it was an acutal cool jean jacket#we'll soon have out 10 year school reunion#maybe I should ask her#is anyone else going to a secret Sherlock phase again#I just want to see that silly little hat again#would sherlock holmes wear a jean jacket#have a nice day everyone!!#see you soon hopefully!!#♡^▽^♡
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Found a cool color palette. Might finish it later. (Probably not.)
#star wars#star wars the clone wars#star wars rex#star wars the bad batch#Glitched half an hour on his face for no reason#just cause I couldn't figure a skin color#like I come from impressionism#you know this small art movement#where half of the Chinese artists I follow borrows their wonderful color palette#Color palettes who are perfect to draw noice anime boys#but (we can't lie) where everyone tend to draw only fair skinned characters#So I'm bugged trying to draw realistic people with that#would probably help if I forced myself to do studies ya know#instead of looking at gensh1n art#skill issue as people say#maybe is should draw on a bigger file too#like not draw face with realistic feature on a 300x300 px square XD#But again this drawing was me procrastinating on another one#I hate finishing illu#I just wanna plan/doodle and layout#for others#my jobs of heart are storyboard or color key artist#background paint or compositing hell no#clean animation? kill me#I had a burn out last time I touched a graph editor#too bad that's the most demanded and entry level jobs#v_v#tips for people who want to enter animation industry#don't be like me#finish stuff
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huggies! in varying size differences!
#smol is working on a big poly hug one too like tha old hand holding one#gonna try to fit as many as i can again! but not sure when itll be complete cuz been buusy :O#custom emotes#hugging emote#hug emote#affection#i used to give my Little Yellow Guys silly sweaters where did they go!! not sure if i should go back to that or not :O#maybe after the poly emotes ill do clothes emotes!
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"Are you finished with my portrait yet? Show me!" "Cipacton, I can't draw you if you keep moving!"
#em draws stuff#em is posting about temeraire#temeraire#temeraire worldbuilding collection#⚬⚬⚬⚬⚬𐂂#did you like those guys from the last picture? here they are again :)#at this point I feel like I should have be oc tagging five deer and cipachcoatzin just for organizational purposes#but if I don't then I can pretend I can stop drawing them...#<- He Has Ideas For At Least One More Picture and Other People And Dragons They Know#if you want to see what five deer is drawing then turn your eyeballs to my previous drawing of them!#after finishing that one I wanted to figure out what cipachcoatzin looked like outside of the super stylized depiction - here he is!#also lacking any other ideas I've decided that's his name now. my classical nahuatl is So So So Beginner but I'm Trying#(cipactli [caiman] + glottal stop + coatl [snake] + tzin [honorific suffix]...#...or cipactli [caiman] + ton [diminutive suffix you might use for a kid])#haven't come up with a personal name for five deer yet but what with naming other characters they'll interact with my abilities Do run out#so that can be a work in progress#pretty pleased with how this turned out especially cipachcoatzin's little obsidian mirror-ornaments#the background and color scheme is Heavily based on luis covarrubias' 'view of the valley of mexico'#but maybe I can manage some more urban settings for them or the other characters in future pictures
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