#maybe i do do it more now but yk why?
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sometimes i discover terms and words that describe the things i do that are associated with autism but whenever i bring them up i always get “you were never like that before!!”. i used to get in trouble at school, at home, at church for talking so much. I’ve always been hyperverbal I just didn’t know there was a word for it back then. even after i knew i was autistic but didnt know being hyperverbal was a thing i told people i stimmed by talking. before i knew echolalia was a thing i chalked it up to just liking how things sounded or it being a form of stimming.
you’re telling me that just because there’s a word for what i do that’s associated with autism, suddenly I’ve never displayed this behavior before?
all that learning these terms has done has made it easier to understand and explain myself. instead of saying “i talk a lot because I’m autistic and it’s a form of stimming which i do to self regulate” i can now say “i’m hyperverbal because i’m autistic.” or instead of saying “i’m not repeating you to be mocking it’s just something i unconsciously do when i like a noise or word or how you said that word.” I can say “I use echolalia because i’m autistic, thats why i repeat things the way i do.” In both these examples not only is the second option more concise it’s clearer and people understand me better.
i’m not going to apologize for wanting to understand myself and wanting others to understand me.
#actually autistic#everyone’s totally chill with me being autistic until key parts of my behavior and personality are due to the autism#i had a conversation w my mother the other day that sparked this post#i had repeated what she said a few times and she was like#‘why do you do that’#‘you know thats annoying right’#and i said its actually called echolalia and its frequently a symptom of autism#and she immediately scoffed at me and said ‘you never did that before’#yes. yes i did.#i didnt just read this term and decide i wanted to do it#when i actually first read of echolalia i didn’t understand it#i had to read 7 different articles to understand what it was talking about#and then i didnt#associate it with me until another autistic friend pointed it out#and i thought back on my speaking habits and after a while realized that yes that is something we do#and i really hate hearing ‘you didnt do this before’ because not only is it stupid it implies there was a time before i was autistic#ive always been autistic you were just in denail about it until a handful of medical professionals told you point blank i’m autistic#maybe i do do it more now but yk why?#because i was PUNISHED as a child for behaving ‘autisticly’#that didnt make me less autistic it just made me fucking hate you#anyway.#idfk how to tag this#echolalia#hyperverbal#autism spectrum#autistic experiences#autistic community#autistic adult
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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monachan haul has arrived ✨safely✨
#ft. the gigo collab merch that i had proxied s o b s#‘how many albums did you buy m y g o s h’ j-just these 3…#thanks delivery guys for not notifying me when haul pt 2 was delivered lmao now my mother’s mad at me for not showing her what i got :(#‘just show her man’ d u d e she’ll lecture me about wasting my money— wait nvm i’ll show her my lls gk dvd that came in maybe that’ll help#im gatekeeping monachan from my fam idc if we’re related y’all c a n ’ t have her#b u t on another note the mona album standee looks really cute beside the new sena natsukomi standee#mona looks taller than sena in it but they just. look really cute next to each other aaaaa#though. yk. speaking of the gigo merch and stuff… man. i think i went to that arcade last year lmao#i didnt go up to the floor with the food and stuff since i was only there to play crane games and i was too lazy to climb the stairs#but seeing posts about the collab reminds me of the 1000 yen i spent trying to get ena pjsk nui in the mzen crane machine#i had. like. 4000 yen at the time and around 1/4 of it went to that machine… never forgive never forget#‘why didnt you withdraw more money then’ w e l l the debit card was with my bro and i broke off from the family to explore by myself s o—#and that was how i spent my birthday last year. on the 4th or 5th (cant rem) floor of gigo trying in vain to get enananui#that doesnt have anything to do with monachan but i needed to cry about it somewhere ig lmfao#m a n. what am i even doing with my life lmao#o k that’s enough of being annoying for one night see y’all for daily nagisa in a few hours byeeeeeeee
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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Never has my opinion about a non-antagonist character changed so drastically than it has about Shigure ok there might have been some before but right now I can’t think of any.
I went from “Oh he’s just a silly lil guy” to “*sobs* silly *sobs again* DAD” to “ohhhh….silly….pervy😳lil guy” to “ohhhh….silly mysterious guy???” to “oh- oh….😬”
#on s3 ep8#so idk#maybe he’s got 5 more episodes to change my mind#but idkkkkkkkk#aside from his pervy comedic relief quips#I LOVED that man😭#screw me for always liking the found family dad characters😭#but like as the story progressed I just found myself…#idek what the word is#do I dislike him now??#no it’s…#the ick#he gives me the ick#I know there’s a lot of gray area and complexities within his character and what he has going on with akito#akito is a discussion for another day#but yes he’s complicated#he’s morally gray#and I LOVE a morally gray character#but rarely is a morally gray character set up to NOT seem morally gray at the beginning and you see it play out#which is frankly a more realistic portrayal of morally gray ppl irl#but yeah…hence why I can’t for certain say if I hate or dislike him now#I just….ick#like woah man I loved what you got going for you but now that i know this thing about you#I have to actively force myself not to think about it or I’m def in danger of not loving all that anymore yk??#anyway#shigure’s character development just proved to me the only living adult characters in this show that are to be fully trusted are#kazuma and hatori#there’s probably a couple more but if I suddenly became a wanted criminal overnight and needed someone to protect me#these are my ‘find a trusted adult’ choices😭#fruits basket
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im going insane i need to re write splatoon 3's story right now
#the more i think about it the more it bothers me? thats mean more like it itches me#theres so many things that really conflict with previous games like the octarians going back to being treated like#videogame villains and not yk people#and so many things that go unexplained like why are test chambers made by humans so filled with inkling tech#what are the test chambers for why is orca running these tests why was orca made how did octolings found their way into alterna#did mr grizz bring em there?#why did mr grizz need cuttlefish???#i think alterna is a reaaallly cool setting i think they mayb should have leaned more into fleshing it out and the story about it#maybe have mr grizz be made created by the humans with human intelligence to some how try and pass on their legacy#make mr grizz see how the humans of alterna destroy eachother and then resent that behavior when he see it on the inklings#that sounds too much like commander tartar so idk and it would conflict with salmon run i think#but i definitively do think they should have leaned more into the story of alterna and fleshing it out more#or maybe lean more into the loneliness that mr grizz feels being the only creature like him#he does no longer resemble a mammal from the past and its onlike any other creature on this current world#idk ill stop rambling now it just bothers mee#gh0ost txt
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stimming isnt enough anymore i need to kill him
#cucumber quest#em. these r both. kinda old. but i dont really think theyre that bad. i could do better now but#i should draw him more often!!!#i say after only drawing him for a week straight#tumblr is scary im sorry#i hate the layout on here irs so much scarier then twitter#FUCK I FORGOT PEOPLE ACTUALLY LOOK AT THIS TAG#i think. its a little too late to delete this all isnt ir???#hey would you guys believe me if i said ive been hyperfixated on him for.#checks list.#a little over a year now. and i still dont know how to draw him???#you probably would actually. nvm#shivers in fear#yk i dont actually know why i think people on tumblr r scary. most of the people ive met are really nice!!!#actually maybe its because a lot of people on here are adults and im really self conscious about my art#i should stop blabbering sorry
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feeling sad and emotional as it’s approaching one year of tbosas movie
#just lots of emotions surrounding that time and just what the hg series has been for me in general#and getting to come back on here and become a fan of Tom and now we’ve got all these cool projects#that im so excited to see#but#I was in a very rough place when I saw that movie and#it’s holding a lot more weight in me😭#but I’m feeling emotional and sad because I miss that time so much#and I still love it so deeply#but nothing really compares to that time yk :(#I’ll be super excited with sunrise on the reaping but even then it’s a weird moving on in a way and I’m like#IM STILL AT THE RESTAURANT#but the emotion I think is sad??? maybe a bittersweet feeling#idk I’m ranting but I just mean it’ll always mean so much to me#that time and that movie#and it’s crazy it’s gonna be one year soon#and idk how to feel fjwnfnwnd cause im like gosh why do I feel SAD#kit talks
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I think about that tiktok trend where you like paint your partners eye color on your nails or make a bracelet or something with the color a lot actually
#like its so cute honestly but sometimes i wonder how hard it would actually be to like find the right color match#maybe one day... but for now probably expect oc art with this trend in it maybe 💀#the thing about it too is i have like dark eyes and idk if ive ever seen like a dark brown nail polish. beads or thread yeah but ya#oh nvm i googled. it exists i just dont pay attention ig#OH you know what i can do... i can paint pepperonis eye color on my nails.... my baby... my kitty......#dude it feels like 5 am why is it only 2#amyways. 4 monsters was a big mistake i think... i feel quite icky...#it doesnt help i didnt eat for a majority of the day it was just monster. im really unhealthy. need water maybe#wait i was talking about nail polish how did i get here#i just want to actually do cute couple things. i must heal. im gonna be so healthy.#its fine. lmao. i just know im not ready#oh i did eat btw dont worry lmao i had. chicken nuggets#i actually have to eat more bc i need to gain back some weight or they wont let me donate plasma#my extra pokemon money..... nawr...#i dropped like 10 pounds. my current job is very physical. lots of scuttling around.#i thought about working out too? i had a short phase last year in like spring or something where i started doing workout type stuff#so like.. maybe. probably should. healtly mindset shit yk#i also maybe want some more clothes. like update my wardrobe a bit. really figure out my style.#like some cool shirts and maybe pants. cause i wear a lot of the same stuff#also again. dropped weight so. need better fitting pants.....#i want more mens pants. big pockets... gender....#anyways. nice chatting with you besties. love you guys my silly little tumblr besties.#some of you that follow this sideblog have supported me on here for a while. i see you. i appreciate you. thank you 💖#genuinely there are names that pop up and im like !! hello!!! its you!!!!!#you guys probably know who you are. go get yourself a little treat you deserve it. or like. idk what you enjoy.#play a good game. watch your favorite show. idk. be happy. love yourself.#this also goes out to those of you who are more passive on my blog. i appreciate you too!! thank you!#all my little tumblr followers.... my besties..... unles you are a bot i havent cleared out lmao#k i might have to go to bed idk im tired well see
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sorry i just. need to rant for a second
#cause dude the whole joost situation is SO fucking upsetting#he's mentioned over and over again how overwhelming this whole overnight success thing has been for him and to respect his boundaries#and instead of yk respecting his wishes “fans” go and make things worse by constantly overstepping and being creepy and weird like hello???#like why can't we all just be normal and take a step back and enjoy things#these people are gonna end up driving him off the internet and i wouldn't blame him one bit#and the worst part is the people who should get the memo obviously don't (or refuse to) bc this isn't an isolated instance#like its been going on for a while now#idk man i just think about how hard it must be for him rn#one of the things that turned me into a joost fan (besides his music) was his personality#like i obviously dont know him on a personal basis#but from the little bits ive seen he comes across as a really genuine and sweet and kind dude#super thoughtful as well. like i just love the way he thinks and his take on things#like i remember watching his eurovision interviews and just thinking oh man this dude's a ray of sunshine LMFAO#also the literal definition of resilience like dude's been through so much stuff and hes always managed to come out on top despite of it#and thats something i really admire about him too. like the way he put it as not letting your traumas be just that#but also something that can drive you forward#but yeah dude's had more than enough like he deserves to be happy and have some peace and ppl keep ruining it for him and it makes me upset#like i actually slept like shit last night and woke up feeling terrible and i wonder if what went down yesterday w the whole live thing#has anything to do with it lmfao#and you may be like ok well youre taking it too personally and letting it affect you#and yeah maybe youre right LOL but i cant help it i care about the guy and i want him to be okay#he seems to have a really good support system though so i hope things blow over soon and he can finally have some peace#anyway. rant over! 💋#raquel speaks
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yk when you can feel yourself starting to stop caring about stuff you love and you are White Knuckling through it because no I Will still love this so fucking help me
#could be a vent but really i’m just kinda vibing#oh also turns out I do Not have adhd#which is kinda good and kinda bad#kinda good because like. well at least we've checked off one of the 'well what if it's this' list#kinda bad because it means that my problems will probably have to be solved individually which. mmm I cbaa#i’m gonna cause like what else am i gonna do#but like man I just wish I had One Big Problem that was causing all these stupid little problems#and if adhd was that One Big Problem then I could just have medication and stuff and I could get better#but nope HFKDH I gotta sort through each stupid little problem individually#i’m also kinda stumped cause I don't think it's depression and I now know it's not adhd so like. well now what#it'd better not fucking be autism or stress or burnout or whatever#I want an easily medicated problem thank you very much#we (family) think that I should probably try antidepressants#specifically because both my dad and his mum and my mum are all on antidepressants#my dad and me have like. fundamentally identical symptoms#and apparently antidepressants really help with those symptoms#so yk i’m holding onto that hope lmao#I will now tag this as vent maybe cause I am yapping#i’m not upset though so like. idk ill tag it just in case#but i’m more annoyed than anything else LHFKD#like mannn#why can’t mental health be easy for like. one time#cmon#wren wrambles#vent#rant#it's both tbh
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i need eddie to get another guy friend in season 8, and buck loses his shit about it (again), so he breaks up with t because he's convinced that the weird feeling he gets when he sees them together is because he is Really attracted to the new guy.
#like things with t are fine cuz he likes exploring this new side of himself even if t doesnt always match his energy but whatever its fun#and maybe at work chim is the one who brings up eddies new friend and he is immediately just. what new friend?#chim laughs and says. tbf last time eddie got a new friend you attacked him so you could date his friend. hes probably keeping it to himsel#and bucks like. dude what. that was. yeah it was shitty of me but it was a one time thing. i wont do it again...#and when eddie shows up for shift buck immediately asks about his new friend and eddie tells him about the guy without hesitation#after shift tho buck is like. why didnt you tell me about him? after t i get why you dont want to but im just. you dont have to worry man.#buck. i know. im not worried. anyway he and i are gonna head to a bar to catch the game. you want to come with? you can bring t if hes free#oh. thats. thatd be okay? i dont want to idk ruin the vibe by bringing a date#nah man. itll be fine#and so he and t go to the bar and eddies already inside with the new friend and its Fine. its Great actually because t gets along with eddi#and the new guy and the new guy makes eddie laugh and doesnt miss a beat and knows more about the teams record this season than buck and#buck is doing Fine. this guys smile is big and his eyes are bright and when he laughs he sorta leans into eddies space alittle and its Fine#the night ends and buck and t go back to his apartment and buck cant stop thinking about that guys hand when it clapped down on eddies#shoulder or the look on his face as he teased eddie about the beer he drinks (cuz its kinda bad but only buck can say that) and buck Cant.#he wants that guy. he wants his hands and grin and teasing voice all to himself and not on eddie.#so he breaks up with t and ts confused af cuz i thought things were going good?#yeah. i just. i want to explore my options yk now that ive uh figured out i like men.#and its a clean break. not dramatic or messy. t tells him to call if he every changes his mind. buck wont.#bucks trying to not pry about eddies new friend and he doesnt grill eddie or anyone and just waits and listens to all the new info he gains#and eventually eddie invites him out to watch another game because whatever team they were watching made it to the playoffs#and when he gets there eddies like. no t tonight?#nah we. uh. we broke up.#eddie says sorry man that sucks. and the new guy is like. honestly he didnt even seem that into you which what an idiot. youre great.#and its good because the new guy splits his attention between the two of them now. eddie isnt the only one getting hands and grins and eyes#and the third time theyre at the bar the guy follows him to bathroom and kisses him hard against the door before pulling back with a#panicked sorry and leaving and when buck finds eddie after hes like. what happened? new guy ran out of here without even saying goodbye#he kissed me in the bathroom. i think uh. i think he was kinda freaking out about it and thats why he left.#and eddie just blinks at him before being like. buck. buck you said you werent going to do this again.#i didnt mean to! and buck means it. he just saw the way that guy made eddie laugh and put his hands on eddie and had eddies attention and#oh.
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I REACHED MAX TAGS ON MY LAST POST COMPLAINING ABOUT DRAWING MY FAVS
#anyways#picking back up where those left off#now that i think about it the only ones i can draw satisfactorily are haru 😭😭#sakuyas fun to draw plus i love his color palette#same deal for citron but i also feel obligated to be able to draw them and azuma bc f/o status#itarus hair is fun#and i do love drawing that perpetual 'fml' face#i need to stare at pictures of tsuzuru every time i draw him to make sure i get his hair right but unlike with tenma it end up looking right#i have to pull up masumi refs when i draw him too bc i just CANNOT get the bleach pattern right on my own#but other than that hes a breeze#chikage gives me the most trouble#and considering sakyo and tsumugi are my biggest hair fails i think you can guess why#the glasses mess me up a little sometimes but i pretty much always draw him in the round thin rimmed ones#so unlike sakyos they dont actually get in the way of anything#and it does have a little volume to it. i just have to be careful not to give it TOO much volume yk.#idk why but i think bc of chikages facial structure its just easier for me to get his hair right compared to tsumugi#then again ive drawn tsumugi maybe once in this style so i probably just need more practice
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#listen idk why some of yall insist on trying to submerge yourself w every crumb of content when you know the stunt is still going around#but also for letting even a potential stunt mention / pic / video frame affect you so much#considering they always push it more when they get any kind of reaction from it#like idk how many times we gotta say it but#1. make and create boundaries and if this is all your life is about: get another hobby oh my god that is so unhealthy#but also 2. STOP REACTING#don’t let this shit get to you so bad and ruin your day like gooood this is why some of you#really NEED to rethink your approach to obsessively interacting w content#but also reevaluate your priorities#be kind to yourself like why do you think i stop following so many people who constantly post whatever they can for the sake of ‘updates’#*stopped#and making conversation out of nothing. it ain’t worth it !! go live your life !!#whether or not the fake kid is there why are you letting it bother you !! you know he’s gonna be w his love at the end of the day#talking about his baby nephew and their future family like if anything take delight in that and shhhh#it’s been like 6 - 7 years on off of this shit now so can some of you please stop acting like you were born yesterday already#and maybe idk react normally? maybe yk go do something else productive? actually worthy of energy#stunts#bbg#alex talks
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i’m absolutely not complaining about ttpd as an album, i love it even more than i thought i would, but i do kind of wish she would’ve waited to release it until after the eras tour was over so it could’ve gotten its own tour :/ like the visuals and the stage design and the outfits are just sooo good and not only is it being cut down into only seven songs so it can fit into an already massive setlist, but everyone who went to the shows in the us, mexico, south america, asia, and australia — aka a huge portion of the tour dates — didn’t get to see any of it live. like it’s so impressive that taylor was able to add the ttpd section into the existing setlist but i can't help but feel disappointed bc this means we likely won't get a ttpd tour, which is something i would kill to see </3
#i know so many people demand new content from her constantly but with everything she’s been doing we didn’t NEED this album so soon yk#i personally would’ve been fine waiting another year or even longer if it meant ttpd could get its own era#bc it’s kind of impossible for it to fully have that when she’s already a year into this huge tour#she’s already had to cut so many songs to fit everything (not even everything bc there’s no debut set)#with lover/folklore/evermore not getting their own tours bc of covid it makes sense why she did the eras tour instead of a midnights tour#but now that touring is an option again it would’ve been nice for her to slow down her releases a bit to really focus on new albums more#idk maybe this is a hot take bc ofc the eras tour is incredible and i do feel so lucky to have gotten to go at all#but i just really wish i could see ttpd songs live and it seems like i won’t get that chance until the next tour#which will likely be years from now and who knows how many albums she’ll have put out by then#rn all i can do is hope that she’ll add another us leg or something so i can see eras again with the new setlist#but that’s very unlikely since she’s already added shows in miami/indy/etc none of which i can afford travel for let alone resale tickets#no one’s gonna even see this but if anyone does i hope it’s not taken the wrong way bc she’s given us so much in the past few years#sorry for the essay i just love ttpd and i want to see it live </3#lj speaks now
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confession: sometimes I come to look at your art as references because you have noted details like moles + looking at what colors u put down in my quest to find what something looks like under neutral lighting I know the shit here has been thoroughly researched
i will be normal upon learning this news.
#fave#snap chats#JUST KIDDINGLAKJVKLE I CANT EVEN MAKE A FUNNYMAN™️ COMMENT THAT'S SUCH AN HONOR THANK YOU SO MUCH#especially when i'm such a fan of your own work... i love your lighting and shading and how Shaped everyone is so much...#just the FEEL yk i cant explain it but your art just feels super great to look at..#the funniest thing bout being sent this today is ironically i was gonna make more 'model sheets' for myself like how i did with y2 daigo#dunno why i just felt compelled to do so.. just so i could draw bitches without having to think ACTUAL Rotating Like An SSBB Trophy moment#except this one i'd make more note heavy..... cause idk i always wanted to do that tbh..#if my arm didnt hurt i probably would ☠️ maybe tomorrow or if im too stubborn later tonight i will ☠️☠️#but wow... again thank you that means a lot. new favorite compliment achieved thank you...#i do spend hours looking at these bitches so im glad. im glad thats apparent i pay attention 😫#in truth i dont even draw EVERY mole on every character- daigo is esp awkward because his moles change throughout games#the moles i draw are specifically for the ps3 era/y3-75#he has different moles in the dragon engine- they're actually on the right side of his face opposed to the left: theyre entirely different#AND IM GOBSMACKED BOUT THE COLORS BIT people tell me my colors are nice but its still ?? for me to acknowledge that sometimes#like not BAD OF COURSE NO NO IM REALLY HAPPY im just.. hm... i didnt think i was doing anything nice..#in any case again. thank you. ive made it clear this is a big compliment I Will Can It now ☠️
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