#mans died 20+ years younger than you he just Acts Like That

[eggcats]

My favorite barely ever considered RadioStatic fact is that, like, Alastor died about 20 years younger than Vox, but has been dead, in hell, about that same length of time, so he's both younger AND the same age as Vox. And then we all decided Alastor was Vox's mentor in hell, and never really acknowledge that this fully grown man is just letting this brand-new adult twink boss him around.

But we've decided (I've decided) Vox is usually the babygirl of them both, anyway. This man is in his 50s and so many of us were just like. Nah, he's babygirl. (We're right.)

Its just funny to me to think that one day they talk about the ages they died, and Vox is just like, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE IN YOUR 30s?!?!" bc he's been calling Alastor "daddy" this entire time, and now he has to reconcile the fact that he's significantly YOUNGER than him, lmao.

[duckhoodiesblog]

DUCK TIMELINE ACCORDING TO ME

(au? idk all of its "canon" but I'm picking and choosing and altering a lil)

•Abner is born first, then Donald and Della, Gladstones a little younger than them (like a year?) then Fethry. I think it makes sense for Abner to be the oldest since he doesn't really hang out with everyone else, maybe thats because of the age gap ya know.

•They all meet up and spend every summer at Grandmas farm. I think Abner preteen/teen stage kinda stops going, he has other things he'd rather do.

•As for everyone's relationships at this stage, Donald and Della get along fairly well, they're usually by each other sides. They have different interests tho, Donald wanting to be a sailor and Della a pilot. Gladstone and Donald are always fighting (obviously), I think Della and Gladstone have a pretty neutral relationship. Fethrys the baby and Abner doesn't want to play with the younger kids (they're lame) but probably has a soft spot for Fethry.

•I like to think Gyro and Donald knew each other as kids too. This is largely based on that one Don Rosa comic that introduces little helper (?).

•As a kid Donalds grandpa Humpsadink(?) dies. I'm not 100% on everyone's names in english, but I think thats his name.

•Donald and Della meet their uncle Scrooge once (1) and Donald kicks him for being mean to his parents. Scrooge enters rich old man isolation.

•As preteens Della and Donalds parents die and they move in with Grandma Duck permanently. In the comics I usually see Donald raised by Grandma Duck and that raises so many questions for me. Are Hortense and Quackmore dead? extremely busy? And wheres Della?? I wanted to include Donald living at Grandma Ducks farm because its canon in a lot of comics, so this is my solution.

•Some time later Gladstones parents die and Matilda & Ludwig adopt him. Not entirely sure ab this, but I'll go with it. This is based on Don Rosas plans for the family tree, he decided against it but there's nothing really contradicting it so. Here it is. I also just really want Ludwig on the tree (cause I like him), so him being married to Matilda works out.

•Donald and Della grow up and move out. Donald becomes a sailor and Della a pilot. Donald travels the world and meets José and Panchito, and his spanish(?) ex-girlfriend Donna (I don't know if everyone knows who this is but shes in a short and some comics). Basically he's living his best 20s life abroad. When hes not traveling for work, Donald lives in a little houseboat.

•At this point Donald and Della have grown apart, they've got their own lives now and don't see each other much. Still love each other obviously.

•Della gets pregnant and the father walks out on her. Donald is of course furious at this guy but Della says he's not worth it. Donald makes sure to visit more often.

•Della has Huey, Dewey and Louie. Donald sees 'em a couple of times when hes not on a ship.

•Della Amelia Earharts when HDL are like, 5. Donald races home when he hears the news and is absolutely devastated. He decides he needs to pull himself together and gets custody of HDL. He quits being a sailor and starts taking up odd jobs. Sells his houseboat and gets a real house (probably with some help from the family, excluding Scrooge cause he's still in rich old man isolation).

•HDL begin acting up, because they miss their mother, and, sure, they know unca Donald, but he's also not someone they're used to seeing. I imagine having your mom go missing and then having to live with your uncle you barely know at 5 would traumatize you a little. And Donalds trying his best, but up until now he's been a sailor traveling the world and is not equipped to deal with children. Especially when he's dealing with his own grief. (His twin is missing, presumed dead. His twin who'd always been with him. Someone he thought couldn't leave.)

•HDL join the junior woodchucks and that helps them settle a little. Donalds learning to be a parent and things are looking up. I think he starts seeing Daisy somewhere around here.

•Scrooge exits rich old man isolation by inviting Donald and the boys to christmas. (that one Carl Barks comic) (you know with the bears)

And with that I think we're up to date? I might have forgotten somethings but I'll have to add them later. Feel free to comment with your own thoughts and headcanons, and do tell me if I missed something.

[synchodai]

HotD Episode 7 Live Reaction

But if you close your eyes, does it always feel like nothing's changed at all. But at least there be dragons.

I stiil don't like that Seasmoke fell in Addam's lap. Addam should have been the one to actively claim Seasmoke. I just really don't like HBO's insistence on "power is better wielded by those who don't want it."

"I may appear lowborn but I know much and more of service." Those two statements shouldn't have a "but" between them.

Maester Orwyle continues to be the surprise MVP of the greens.

The Master of Laws Iron Rod getting dialogue? The rumor mill works fast in Westeros.

I like that the nobility are putting so much resistance to lowborn claiming dragons. If there's anything that threatens highborn, it's social mobility.

For "20 years the lords of this realm levied insults against my sons," Jace confirmed to be 20. So he's just one year younger than Aegon? Now that wouldn't make sense because Rhaenyra wasn't even married during Aegon's first nameday during that hunt episode. Good to know Jace has been aged up though. He, Aegon, and Cregan are probably all in the same ballpark age.

I love Addam's acting, he's almost as expressive as TGC. But why are the interaction scenes on this show so short? "The family doesn't know how to communicate their feelings" yeah, yeah, but at least write down for them to have SOMETHING to say. Corlys came to this room literally just to say 6 words.

They should have given Oscar Tully red hair to make him stand out from the Riverlords. The scales on his armor are cool, but there should be more to visually signal that this kid is basically a petty king.

The camera following it's actors from the back is kinda...not doing it for me. I don't wanna see their hunched backs, I want to look at the sets and their faces.

"We honor the old ways." Most of y'all don't, though? Only certain houses in the Riverlands worship the Old Gods, one of them being the Blackwoods who are being accused of going against the "old ways." What do the HBO writers think the "old ways" mean?

Out of all decapitations on this series, this one had the least punch. Music and sound design did all the heavy lifting.

STOP SHOWING THEIR BACKS I DON'T WANNA SEE THE ACTORS' BACKS ANYMORE

Also, I can't imagine how this war will end if the Blackwoods aren't black loyalists. With Daemon executing their House head, I don't see them being that enthusiastic about supporting Rhaenyra anymore. Are they just gonna replace Benjicot with Oscar? And Aly is just...gone now? Who's gonna stop Cregan Stark then?

Again, we're just letting whoever inside the king's room even when he says they can't come in? Guards really suck on this show.

Alyn's voice is like honey. I could listen to this man read audio books.

And they just let the Targaryen princess run off like that? The guards on this show really suuuuuuuuck.

Poor Rickard Thorne dragged into Alicent's impromptu camping trip.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEY JACE, LOVE CLASSIST JACE. LOVE AEGON'S DREAM CRITICAL JACE. EEEEEY JACE AWARE THAT WHEN RHAENYRA DIES PEOPLE WON'T ACCEPT HIM. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. Finally some character drama and juicy interpersonal conflict that makes sense with characters clearly stating their stance through dialogue and we don't have to fill in the blanks as the audience. I was so starved. They actually made what was in the book better with this one.

I like Hugh the Hammer's new storyline, sue me. It's a cliche call-to-adventure fantasy peg, but I like it.

"I need more dragons to end bloodshed." Rhaenyra, what do you think dragons do? Rhaenyraaaaaaa

Beautiful Vermithor shot. And of course they leave all these innocent poor people to the mercy of a merciless behemoth. Ugh, beautiful, blood sacrifice, cruelty, impressive sfx, yessss.

CLAIM THAT DRAGON. CLAIM THAT DRAGON. DO IT NAMED CHARACTER, you have a name and backstory so you can do it!

"Come on!!!" Vermithor: Well...when you put it like that, I suppose.

Nana Silverwing! She looks gorgeous.

WAIT, WHY DID THEY TAKE HER TO KING'S LANDING??? WHY IS KL AND DRAGONSTONE LITERALLY 5 MINUTES AWAY

[zempumpkin]

Ok I've been thinking about the cast of captain laserhawk and it's keeping bugging me cuz they dont have a canon age in the show and I have some hcs and want to talk about it

So I'm gonna start with Rayman since he's the one that is more difficult to get the age, and I'm gonna say. This man is OLD. Yeah I know, people though and think that he's like 40 or something?? And I understand why but he's more old than that and I'm gonna tell why

So like first of all he's been alive since eua existed, and since the beginning of the series they talk about how it's been a long time since eua became Eden, so yea, Idk how long it was but it probably been some decades.

I gonna use Sarah as an example cuz she was a kid and Eden already existed plus Rayman already did his shows, also Marcus was like 20 or something back there I think??? And when he appears again nowadays he looks old (probably 65?? Idk)

And also there's the fact that Rayman don't age, that's one of the reasons he became Eden's star

I think that he's like between 60-70 or something cuz he's been alive since before Eden existed plus I'm using Marcus as an example because his one of the only people that was more close to have lived in the eua before (the other one is Sarah's dad but he died soo)

Gonna talk about Bullfrog now cuz he's another one with the same thing going on

So we all know he's younger than Rayman (cuz of that one line "when I was your age" when Ramon and Bullfrog talked) and some people think that he's 18??? Which doesn't make sense like yes he's younger but not THAT younger

I saw that you turn into an assassin when you become 23, so he has to be at least 23 but by the looks and how much experience he shows to have, I think he would be like 27 at least (the same goes to Jade but I gonna talk about that in a minute)

Also quick talk rn but I don't really ship Rayfrog like yes it's cute but bcs of my hcs my mind can't let me and plus they talked just once, but I don't mind who shipp it and I respect it since everyone has their hc about them, and this being another reminder that this is just how I see the characters I can just talking bullshit if the creators decide to tell us about their canon ages

Moving on! Jade, so as I said before I think she would be in the same boat with bullfrog since she looks and acts young but not that much?? And plus they seem to be closer (as close as you can say when you know a person for like 2 days) so they probably have the same age

OMG I'M TALKING A LOUT HELP HUHHHHH OK QUICK WORK THIS IS HOW I SEE THEM IN GENERAL:

Jade and Bullfrog: 27

Dolph e Sarah: between 37-40

Alex: 2-3 years older than Dolph....probably....

Pey'j: 60 something

Rayman: 70 IDK HUHHHH

WELL SORRY FOR RAMBLING HERE I GOT DISTRACTED ANYWAY

[kreativewritin444]

not forbidden / j.m

 authors note// this show has had a grip on me & so have bella and pedro... so this could not not be done. enjoy my loves ( all work is mine, i dont own the show or characters tho)

warnings: age gap (reader is in their late 20s) , violence, death,

 summary: being involved with Marlene and the fireflies leads you to take Ellie with Joel…

 after being stuck with joel and tess, to protect ellie on this trip to get her to the other location. due to marlene getting shot, and now being with them things have been something...

   you were younger than joel and tess, but not a teen or anything. seeing how him and tess were towards each other you didn’t even bother trying. even though at any chance your gaze shifted onto the man near you. yet deciding to just prove yourself smart and worthy.

 after tess’s death it left the two of you with ellie, things have changed dramatically. you were protective of ellie in your own way, but being alone now with joel the atmosphere shifted. more for you since he was off standish.

   about a week of being out in the wild has gone by; a fire was going and ellie was snug in her sleeping bag asleep. as you watch her, the similarities of your younger sister, who was about her age when she died, and ellie we very much the same.

 gulping that thought down, your eyes shift and catches joel’s who eyes were already on you. clearing your throat, you sit up more.

 “get some rest, i’ll take first watch.”

 you hope he doesn’t argue with you since the idea of sleeping made you sick. shockingly he actually agrees, before heading over across ellie on the other side of the fire. you shift your gun before walking around slightly, checking the perimeter before getting comfy by a rock.

 hours pass and you strolled around atleast 6 times, until settling back in your spot. eyes shifting on joel who was facing toward you, he looks peaceful. not scowling or seeming stressed or tired, something you weren’t use to seeing.

 glancing over at ellie who was still in deep sleep, you bit your lip. thoughts creep in... your sister died almost a year ago, with you being the one to have to do it.

 you escaped FEDRA with lara, after your dad passed from one of the guards doing. being only about 17 and your sister was 13, you two found marlene about two weeks later.

 until then things were good; you two were together, fed and somewhat safe. you did runs with marlene but you made lara stay at base since it was too dangerous. till one day your sister who thought since she was getting older insisted on coming...

 “i told you no, i don’t give a fuck it’s already dangerous enough.” you glare at her, tired of her trying to be reckless. running your hand over your face in annoyance.

 “marlene said i can so i’m going. you cant treat me like a kid forever!” she yells at you, your eyes snapping in her direction furiously. stalking forward giving her a huge shove, she stumbles back in shock.

 “im your sister! i fuckin’ look out for you, so don’t you ever tell me what the fuck i cant do. until you stop acting like a child, i’ll keep treating you like one.” your anger was obvious but you try to retain it the best you can.

 her face matches yours, chest heaving with resentment. “i’m going.” she shoves you back softly, you giving a warning look.

 “if ya’ get in trouble don’t come screaming for me. i warned you once.” with that you grab you pack, stalking out the room. your eyes find marlene’s and anger courses through you.

 “if anything happens, i sw-”

 “she’ll be fine, she’s ready.” you scoff, ready your ass. “she’s fourteen!”

 “and you were only a few years older, if i remember correctly.” you glare at her, sighing in annoyance. “i swear marlene, anything.”

 -

  “y/n!” the violent scream echoes as you round the corner shooting the clicker in the back of the head, making it topple over on the side of lara.

 “lara!”

 rushing forward as she sobs reaching out to hold onto me, “it’s okay. it’s dead- it’s dead.” trying to reassure her, as you gently pull her up in your arms. eyes watering at the look on her face.

 “i-im so sorry.”

 you push her hair out of her face her face scrunches in pain. “ow.ow...” she moans out clawing towards her shoulder, as your eyes follow on the deep bite mark on her.

 your heart sinks, shaking your head in disbelief. this is your fault. this is all your fault.

 her eyes glance down at it before her lips start trembling, “i’m so sorry y/n/n...” shaking your head at her.

 “shhh... im so sorry i yelled at ya’ earlier. i should’ve never left you alone.” eyes water as you pull her in tighter, rocking back and forth anxiously.

 you should’ve never left her alone, your baby sister.

your responsibility.

 “please, pl-please don’t leave me alone.” her voice breaks and it hit you, the roundness of small baby fat still lingers on her filth cover cheeks. her small frame of being so young, so young...

 “no, no you’ll be just fine.” wiping her tears you pull her into your arms like a child, and she clings to you in pain. “it hurts so bad. y/n/n im so scared...”

-

��“no! no!” the voice pulls you out of your thoughts, joel sitting up gasping. true fear shown across his face, the way his hand shook as he brought it up over his face.

 his eyes roam around and catch yours, shuffling under his gaze. deciding to air out the silence, “i get ‘em too.”

you confess which didn’t help much. he nods keeping quiet before looking around.

 “how long was i out for?”

you hum softly, “only a few hours.”

 he nods stretching his body slightly, “here, i’ll take over. you go ahead.” you shake your head, “it’s okay. i can’t sleep tonight anyways.”

 he looks at you confuse, “i bet if ya’ try-.”

 “when you do this long enough, you’ll know when those nights come.” that’s all was said before you look away, focusing on the tree line.

  joel attempts small talk after 10 minutes which shocks you slightly, but the question made everything else disappear.

“you mentioned before you had a sister, is she back at fedra?”

 “uh, no sh- she’s dead.” you clear your throat, looking at his reaction. which was unreadable, “sorry to hear.”

 “same to you...” it was hesitant and small,  “i never got to say it, but im sorry about ya’ girlfriend. tess.” his eyes flicker over to you, he shakes his head.

 “she was my friend, not my girlfriend.” you give him a look but leave it at that. he looks like he wanted to say more, but as time pass you ended up falling asleep.

 with it cold out, joel places his bigger coat over you in attempt to keep you warm. he could tell there was a lot to you, been through some shit. he wanted to know what exactly.

- 

 you woke a little later, joel still on look out. ellie was still asleep, as you grab your pack and hand him his coat back. “thanks.”

a small smile toys your lips as he stares down at you with a nod.

 you walk off around some trees that were out of view. opening your bag, grabbing out another shirt. one you were able to wash in a creek a few days ago. dropping the bag onto the ground, tugging your shirt off.

 throwing it on top of your bag, leaning down grabbing the new shirt. flipping it from inside out before your name was called out.

 “y/n!?” joels voice rushes from the corner, you barely having the shirt on.

rushing to tug it down your eyes connect with a shocked pair. “What?”

 “i-i, my bad i thought-“

His eyes look elsewhere but he never leaves.

 “it’s fine.”

you shrug still a little shocked he caught you shirtless, but you lean down to get your bag. “it’s boobs.”

 he swallows thickly at your blunt answer, only being able to nod slowly. with a small smirk you walk past him, “we need to stock up again soon.”

He grumbles something under his breathe following behind you.

-

 “okay let’s clear through here.” joel stands in front of the door staring ellie in the eyes. “behind me, don’t touch nothin’ either.”

 you snicker slightly, “joel can you just go in?”

ellie gives him a pointed look as he just sighs. he swings the door open quietly, all of us fall into hush silence.

 his gun is held high as he steps inside, ellie following behind him. gripping your gun tightly as you step forward. making it further into the house with no sign of anything. joel looks back at us.

 “alright look for anything important and only of what ya’ can carry.” his eyes fall onto you and you know its because you had to unload your bag after the first raid. you stuffed everything you could find in it.

 walking down the hall you pass by a room. swinging the ajar door open, you scan the room. a crib with a few baby toys and stuff display all over the room, making you swallow.

 you look around finding two small blankets and some rags. deciding those would be useful in future times, you roll them up and shove them down inside the bag.

 the sound of footsteps makes your head lift up. they were coming from upstairs, you didn’t even think to check there.

 heading down the opposite side of the hallway, turning at the corner the stairs come into view. just before you reach them ellie comes out, “imma check upstairs, find anything yet?”

 “yeah a few things, i’m gonna check the garage.” you nod at her as you walk up the steps, wondering if joel found anything up here.

 not even hitting the top stairs, a yell rings out from downstairs follow by a loud thud. your eyes widen as you go to move back downstairs, but you halt at the sound of footsteps coming your direction.

 “scott?” the mans voice made you freeze as he comes into view. his eyes narrow onto your figure as you step down one of the steps cautiously.

“fuck!”

 another yell rings out before a gun shot, the man in front of you rushes forward. his body hits into yours making you slip and fall down the stairs. landing at the bottom with a harsh groan.

 your gun slide across the floor, unable to move for a second since the wind was knocked out of you. registering his footsteps coming down the steps, you push yourself up.

 struggling to move quickly to where your gun was, the man grabs a hold of your hair. “you’re a pretty one.”

 your elbow flies back into his ribs, him releasing you slightly. you move forward ignoring how it felt when some of your hair pulls out. “fuck you.”

 kicking his knee he stumbles, before spitting in your direction. your eyes flicker down the hall as another gun shot rang out. in a split second his left hand met your jaw, leaving you to stumble almost falling.

 your ear rang as your hand cups your cheek, blood lingers on your tongue. his hands are on you again scooping you up and tossing you onto the ground like a rag doll.

 wheezing as you scramble to move, but his foot connects with your stomach. you hunch into a ball as his knees drop on the ground beside you.

hands grabbing onto your arms holding them as he tries straddles you. your heart sank as he his free hand starts lifting your shirt, unable to breathe or get out of his grip.

a gun shot rings out and his blood splatters onto your face. his body lands halfway on you and the ground beside you as you struggle to inhale.

 joel throws him off of you, his harden expression drops at the sight of you. eye swollen, the side of your face bruised and bleeding. “y/n.”

 he lifts you into a hug feeling how your body was shaking. you grip onto him tightly as your eyes land on ellie, who is only staring at you in worry. your ribs ache horribly making you wonder if any of them are broken.

 “he-he t-” joel pulls back pushing my hair slightly out my face.

 “hey, it’s okay. he’s dead-he’s dead.” you nod slightly as his eyes connect with yours, him unable to know exactly how you feel.

“You’re safe.” He reassures and you stare down at your shaking hands.

 -

 you three made it to a small house that was checked by joel alone. him not wanting a repeat, trudging in slowly you take in the place, small but warm.

you felt how tired you were and how everything today took a toll.

 “there’s two beds.” ellie sings out almost as she comes back into the living room, your bag was now on the ground. your hands held a spot on your ribs as you nod.

 “go ahead and get some rest.” you motion to her to go grab one and she nods rushing off.

 “you should too get some rest, i’ll take watch.” you didn’t care to argue with him. you head in the back checking out what room, seeing ellie on a twin size bed and seeing there was a king.

 you turn back and into the living room where joel was checking his weapons. “can you check this out?” your voice was hoarse as you lift the side of your shirt up slightly.

 the red and purplish splotchy color kisses up and down the side of your ribs. joel’s shoulders felt heavier as he goes to speak, “definitely bruised, doesn’t look the best but it’ll heal.”

 you nod, “thanks.”

you walk past him grabbing your bag off the ground.

“there’s a huge bed in here, if you get tired... i stay on my side.” you offer out to him not really knowing what to expect.

his eyes linger on you for a moment, “thanks.” he clears his throat.

 pursing you lips you move forward, “goodnight joel.”

 “goodnight, darling.”

the nickname wasn’t unusual but it was rare. It felt like something shifted inside the two of you.

you drop your bag on the ground beside the bed, pulling out some of the band aids and the small mirror you found a few months back.

switching your flashlight on and setting it where it faces you. You analyze your face, a small cut was open on your cheek. sighing softly feeling everything replay back, your eyes start to water.

blinking rapidly so you wouldn’t cry, you grab one of the little cleansing wipes out the box of bandaids.

hissing in pain, you bite your lip as you clean it. opening the bandage and putting it on, you hear footsteps head towards the room.

joel walls in almost hesitantly as he notices what you were doing. “decide to rest after all?”

he lets out a breathe maybe one of a laugh, as he sets his stuff on the ground. “something like that.” he mutters.

you move your stuff over to the side of the bed scooting yourself over. shoving everything back in the box, leaning off the side of the bed to set it in your bag.

he sits on the edge of the bed. sitting back and laying your pillow down, he takes his shoes off. “are you...” he starts shifting himself to look at your sorta.

 “are you a virgin?”

the question was random to you, but not to joel. he saw what that guys intentions were for you when he was sliding your shirt up. he wanted to know if you ever lost it or that was something that he almost took.

 “i’m not try-”

 “no joel, i’ve had sex before.” your eyes narrow at him. he looks like his mind was racing but not in a sexual way. was this about earlier?

deciding to drop it he stands up, “you uh sure?” he motions to sleeping beside you, leaving you to nod in response.

 you honestly didn’t wanna be alone. “after earlier i don’t really wanna be alone.” the confession was nice because after earlier he didn’t want you out of his sight.

 your shiver as the blanket does nothing for the cold air. joel slips in beside you moving his pillow slightly, you turn the flashlight off. the moonlight shines through the window as joel shifts getting comfortable.

 you turn to face the wall as he faces you, another shiver runs down you. “here, i can’t deal with that all night.”

 he moves his arm around your waist, pulling you back slightly in his chest. his body heat hugs you making your eyes widen slightly. “oh.” was all you could say.

 “thanks.” you mumble actually enjoying how you felt wrapped up in his arms. you don’t know what exactly shifted between you two. maybe seeing how he was with ellie, or how you were slowly starting to care for him.

 his other arm lays out flat, “lift your head.” he mumbles out as you do what he says. feeling his arm slide under you, you lay down more in his embrace this time.

 “thank you joel, for saving me earlier.” your hand wraps around his forearm softly, he rest his head softly onto you.

 “i’d kill anyone who would try to hurt ya’.” he confessed and you went quiet. not knowing what to say you allow yourself to slowly drift to sleep.

-

the next few days were a little awkward. you two talked and what not but never mentioning that night. you were so close to where joel’s brother was suppose to be at.

 “alright let’s camp out here tonight. where about less than a day away.” joel looks around as ellie shrugs her bag off. 

 “fine by me.” she mutters and you look around. the sun was setting soon, “no one should be around this part, so we can build a fire right?”

 it was freezing and you hated the cold. joel nods, “well i’ll gather fire wood then.” you drop your bag on the ground beside ellie, stuffing your gun in your waist band.

 you walk around the woods, gathering a big pile of small sticks and a few leaves. joel gets them together and starts working on the fire.

 leaning down you shuffle through your bag, pulling out a few granola bars you found. you hold out one to ellie, “here.”

 she takes it reading what it says, “thanks.”

 you smile softly as you open yours up, “there we go!” ellie exclaims as the fire start. you sigh in relief pushing yourself up and over closer to the fire. ellie does the same, as you drop your bag on the ground. bending down you pull out your sleeping bag.

 laying it out, you sit down before looking over at joel. “here take this.” you hand over the last unopened one and he looks down at it.

 “haven’t seen these in years.”

 “good, enjoy.” you joke as you finish yours. the sun went down as you three talked softly, joking about a few things.

 eventually ellie passes out with her book and you glance over at joel.

“hey, i’ll take watch first. you did it last night.”

 he shakes his head, “it’s fine i got it.”

you give him a look.

 “we’ll both stay up then.”

you mutter standing up. he gives you a questioning look.

 “im going pee.”

with that you walk off in the dark. trying to see your way through. a few more feet you end up tripping over something, letting out a shriek as you fell.

 hitting the ground with a thud, you groan softly.

 “y/n!” joel yells from not too far behind. you lift yourself up seeing the big root you fell over.

 “i’m fine.”

 you call back but he appears in front of you, gun held tightly in his grip. he notices you on the ground, you giggle softly.

 “i fell.”

“jesus, you scared the shit out of me.” he glares at you, letting his arms fall from their stance.

 “that’s why you pay attention! your damn yelling is gonna cause infected to come crawling this way.” his voice was harsh, not as the tone before. you stand up, glaring back in his direction.

 “fuck off joel, i fell it’s not like i purposely tried to do that.” you step closer to him as you start to get angry.

  “you think they care when you get ambushed and bit, because you didn’t pay attention?” it’s like he’s trying to scold a child. or give a damn lecture.

“i already know, jesus your not my father and your not my boyfriend.”

the last part sent a feeling over joel who moves closer to you. “i can’t keep worry about you and Ellie, damn it.”

“never said you have too! Jesus, why do you care joel?” tired of him trying to argue.

 “because i care about you!” it slips and you feel yourself tense up.

  “no you don’t.” you mutter out, going to walk past him. giving up on your idea of peeing at the moment. joel says stuff but he doesn’t mean everything. besides this wouldn’t be what you wanted.

 you were younger, he made sure you knew with his constant scolding.

 his hand wraps around your bicep stopping you from leaving.

 “i-” you cut him off before he gets to speak.

 “look i don’t know what you want joel, but i’m not interested in having my emotions toyed with so j-”

 he cuts you off with his lips landing on yours, feeling his beard scratch against your bare face.

 his tongue licks across your lips, before your tongues touch. his hand slips up into your hair, the other around your waist pulling you closer. you pull away breathing heavily, eyes gazing in each other.

 everything was dark but the moon was full only letting you see the outline of each other.

 “i don’t wanna mess with you darling, i care about you y/n.”

 his hand comes up and under your jaw, his thumb rubs over your bottom lip. your stomach flutters as you push yourself up to kiss him again. this time he pushes you softly against the nearby tree.

 “oh gross.” ellie says from behind you two, waking up from the yelling she came to check out where you two went.

 “i thought someone was attacked, now i see it’s you two attacking each other.” she groans making you giggle softly into his chest.

 “oh god..” he mutters in your ear.

[dollarbin]

Nickel Bin #21:

J.D. Souther, RIP

Wow, he just died. Poor John Dennis!

I grew up with an uncle named JD. Unlike Souther, my uncle never suggested that Linda Ronstadt invite him over and cook him dinner (she, righteously, made him a PB&J). Nor did he found a terrible band with Richie Furray and Chris Hillman, nor write largely mediocre hit songs for The Eagles. Rather, my uncle JD collected archaeological tidbits from around the globe and worked as a chemist for a hospital until he died, relatively young.

I also grew up idolizing an altogether different JD: JD Fitzgerald, author of The Great Brain books. Did you read his books too? If not, turn off your computer and start reading them. Right now!

Uh oh, I see your still reading this instead. Okay, that's weird. But, I'll carry on...

Unlike JD Souther, my uncle JD and JD Fitzgerald did not retire at age 35 and then decide, “I had done what I wanted to do musically. And I just thought to myself, ‘All the men in my family worked until they died, and I’m going to take a few years off and build a great house and have a life.’”

Wow, that sure sounds nice. My uncle worked till until he died; so, I imagine, did JD Fitzgerald; after all, he wrote a whole bunch of books.

And I may not be named JD but today, when I am 13 years older than Souther was when he decided it was high time to hang up his songwriting boots and commence to forever appreciate the good life, I principaled a high school, taught 6 hours of classes on 12th Night, The Inferno and The Brothers Karamazov, cooked three family meals, shopped for hummus and sauerkraut at the ridiculous neighborhood grocery store my wife prefers over Trader Joe's, justified my existence in that store by picking up a six pack of hopefully gluten free beer, prayed for my Dodgers, had my dreams for them come true despite their troubling dirth of pitching as they crushed the Marlins, pet and fed the cat while dealing with its feces, typed this nonsense in my kitchen while simultaneously applauding the Schitt's Creek episode taking place in the family room, watched 7 glorious minutes of Neil Young shredding on stage in Japan in 1976 and read 20 divine pages of Ursula K. LeGuin.

And J.D. Souther? He apparently spent the last 44 of his 79 years retired and the other 35 years as either a child or as a guy who wrote songs for others and dated famous ladies. Plus he played occasional shows and did a little acting on the side. Sounds rough.

Wow, I sure sound bitter, don't I? Butdon't get me wrong: I enjoyed my day and I'm prepared to praise the recently departed JD Souther. But first we need to talk about JD Fitzgerald.

I note, by the way, that you have not stopped reading this and done as I directed: you are not currently reading The Great Brain books. I will take the high road and assume that you are not a lazy bum; rather, I will embrace the fact that you already know those 6(?) or 7(?) titles all too well: that you read them to all your children when they were young, or plan to do so once they are born, and that you keep copies of the books, like I do, conveniently about your house.

But just in case I'm wrong, and you are indeed a lazy bum, here's a run down on Fitzgerald: JD grew up 100+ years ago in a Utah nowheresville with a Mormon mom and a non-Mormon dad and an older brother who was a born confidence man, i.e. a swindling preteen who did everything from selling tickets to view his family's water closet - the first in their town; come, see it flush! - to using his great brain help the town's lonely and angry queer girl learn how to read and fend off the bullies. The younger brother in question grew up to write stories about said older brother and each novel is a Stone Cold Classic and is surprisingly unproblematic - there's no racism or homophobia! progressive thinking around religion and migration abounds! - even by today's probably not lofty enough standards.

I'd say J.D. Fitzgerald did more than all right for himself.

And J.D. Souther? He did all right too. After all, he passed this timeless, swaying song to Linda Ronstadt (and he even contributed some choice backing vocals).

And Faithless Love is just about equal to a lifetime of very good work...

[denimbex1986]

'******

Now in cinemas, 'All of Us Strangers' does not only have the hyped acting star Paul Mescal in common with last year's big indie film hit, 'Aftersun' . Both when it comes to themes and cinematic storytelling, the two dramas could form a fantastic, longing double bill .

'All of Us Strangers' is Andrew Haigh's sixth feature film - and it already stands as an undoubted masterpiece in his career.

With gems like 'Weekend', '45 Years' and 'Looking', the English film and series creator has already established himself as a formidable character director and screenwriter with an exemplary flair for natural and compelling dialogue scenes.

In his new film, Haigh, inspired by the Japanese Taichi Yamada's novel 'Shadowland' from 1987, adds a metaphysical layer to his narrative, which suits his emotionally authentic film universe immeasurably well.

Like 'Aftersun', 'All of Us Strangers' is about grief, complex childhood memories and a sense of distance from one's parents. Andrew Scott plays the middle-aged, single and lonely screenwriter Adam, who lives a life of stagnation. He looks back in time more than he looks forward.

One day a man about 20 years younger, Paul Mescal's Harry, knocks on the door. Harry lives in the same, half-empty block of flats in London and, with a fair blood alcohol level, makes sexual advances. After some hesitation on Adam's part, the two men begin to bond – first physically, then emotionally.

At the same time, Adam seeks out two more complex relationships: The relationship with his parents, who died abruptly in a car accident when he was just 12 years old. Adam thus takes the train ride back to his old childhood home and inexplicably meets his father and mother, played by Jamie Bell and Claire Foy. They are the same age as when they passed away, but this is not just about memories. Because Adam is the same age as he is today, and they talk about the things that are happening in his life right now.

Is he dreaming or is it really happening? In any case, it is not a question of nostalgia-tinged glossy images. The scenes with the parents are characterized by the joy of reunion, but also by conflict and pent-up regret, especially when it comes to Adam's sexuality.

"They say it's a lonely life," says his well-intentioned but awkward mother, when Adam can finally do what he never managed to do: jump out for her. "I'm sorry I didn't come in when I heard you cry", the father says later with wet eyes and a trembling voice.

If you approach 'All of Us Strangers' with skepticism, the metaphysical element might seem a bit silly. But once you have surrendered to the inventive narrative grip that dissolves time, but retains its inherent deprivation, the experience is alluring, touching and heartbreaking - especially if you yourself can from time to time be gripped by the fear of losing your loved ones and be left to themselves.

The feelings are perhaps so clear because 50-year-old Haigh draws threads to his own life and his upbringing as a gay man in the 80s, with all that entails of fear of HIV infection and stigmatization. To substantiate the personal touch, the director has even shot the scenes with the protagonist's parents in his own childhood home, he explained in an interview with Time Magazine.

At first the meetings with the parents feel liberating, but during the course of the story they develop into an emotional prison. The magic of love is hard to escape, and when Adam also tries to drag Harry into his ghost world, it suddenly appears very disturbing.

Just like the film's beautiful synth score, reality, dream and nightmare flow together in a riveting current. And finally, Andrew Haigh puts the crown on the work with a matchless, equal parts intimate and galactic ending.

In short: Englishman Andrew Haigh has created a masterpiece in his career with a sorrowful and alluring ghost story that is based on the director's own life.'

[hetweridnoe]

The most infamous and interesting “Harry Jones”

by Elodie Carlton

Godfrey Giuseppe Fernsby, more commonly known as Harry Jones, was born in Copenhagen in Denmark in 1837. Grace Holm, my closest friend who is currently visiting her grandparents in Copenhagen managed to find birth records and a marriage certificate for his parents. Birla and Giuseppe Fernsby had nine children in total, only four survived to adulthood, Godfrey, Tilda, Malena and Hildegard. Godfrey was their youngest and only surviving son. They emigrated along with 6 children in 1843 to The USA. Birla died in childbirth on the journey to America along with an unnamed baby girl.

The letters between the siblings were a fantastic starting point for my overall timeline of the gang. The oldest was dated 1856 making Godfrey nineteen; these letters were graciously translated by Grace Holm.

"Happy Birthday, Tilda my dear.

I was pleasently surprised by your last letter, many congratulations to you and Arthur. I pray every day for your health given our family’s past circumstances surrounding child bearing. I mentioned my worry for you to Hildegard who replied "Ma had nine children in total, it was only the location that killed her on the nineth." Which I do not agree with.

I commend you for your strength, it takes great courage to be a parent. I suppose you're much younger than Ma was which should work in your favour.

Hildegard is getting married. I know she is too stubborn to write to you since your spat but I thought it important you found out. Malena is courting as well, Riley Addams seems sweet enough on her but as a brother should, I am keeping the closest of eyes on them.

Malena sends her regards and expresses desire to visit, she is looking at moving from New York to settle on a ranch and I suggested New Jersey

As usual my life remains largely unchanged. I have begun work as a carriage driver but I doubt it will last much like all other jobs I take up.

I cannot help but miss you, Tilda dear.

Your favourite brother

Godfrey Giuseppe Fernsby Jr.”

“October 3rd, 1856

Gio, brother dearest.

I await your letters with excitement every month.

I am doing very well, I do confess I also felt fear going into this pregnancy given what happened to my ma. I have a doctor who lives only a few yards down the road who is surely sick of me asking questions. Everything is normal thus far, I believe I am 3 months along which means you will be meeting your first Niece/Nephew in early spring.

New Jersey is beautiful and quiet, the perfect place for Arthur and I to raise our family but there’s nothing quite like the hustle and bustle of New York City.

I am very happy for Hilde and her Fiance, whomever he may be. I do hope an invite is extended to Arthur and I. I miss you all dearly and would love an excuse to visit. I wouldn’t worry much about Malena, she is just as stubborn as you and twice as intelligent. She will see corruption before Riley Addams even acts on it. As for you, I hardly doubt a handsome young man like you has experienced no change in your love life. I see in your future a happy work life, three beautiful American children and a gorgeous wife. But you’re too young for all that yet.

Signed with Love

Tilda Birdie Dankworthe”

The second letter is dated march 1857

“March 18th 1857

Dearest brother

I write to you with the most spectacular news, I have given birth to a baby girl. Her name is Deborah Birla Fernsby Dankworthe in honour of her grandmother. She has jet black curls that remind me of yours and our dearly departed baby brothers. She has a birthmark just like Hilde’s and mine that matched mother’s. She is a reminder of my past and a beacon for my future and I have never been more enamoured with a living thing in my entire 20 years.

Arthur is overjoyed, many of his family have been to visit and stayed in the guest bedrooms for over a week upon me writing this. I must have you all over now so he can know how it feels.

I jest. Arthur's mother has been a great help. And his sisters love their niece just as I know you all will.

I’m so glad I chose to attend Hilde’s wedding, since we have made up, she is also writing to me. She is pregnant too, due sometime in fall. Our family is ever growing after so many tragedies. It just shows how fast moving time can be. Please come visit, Hilde and Malena have both agreed to come in April and I’d love for you to be there too to meet your baby niece.

Lots and lots of love

Tilda Birdie Dankworthe”

I do believe that Godfrey did visit and stay for a while or at least lived in the vicinity as his first recorded “act of indecency” happened in Delaware just at a town on the border.

“1863, June 11th

Godfrey.

I read the most distressing newspaper article in the New York Times. I know its you who it was written about. I understand you are a troubled youth but this is just horrific to read.

I cannot believe you could do such a vile act. It detailed 3 other crimes. I am so distraught I hardly know what to say. I knew you were troubled but I never thought you to be a sodomist.

I do hope you get the help you need for your mind to be normal. For a boy with God in his name you are racking up some amount of sins. I am so sorry you feel this is the way you must live.

Arthur doesn’t yet know, his aversion to reading The Times is in your favour. He would surely welcome you to the farm with open arms if you leave out the details of what happened.

Please consider God’s opinion. You have read the bible, I know you have, so why would you blatantly ignore its teachings.

Your concerned sister

Tilda Birdie Dankworthe”

Godfrey did not reply to this letter, the two never exchanged letters again to my knowledge

Tilda died in childbirth to her 9th child, a son who survived. He was named Godwin. All of Tilda’s children survived to adulthood.

Godfrey started the gang the following year (1864). He was 26 years old. I managed to gain access to crime tecords of Godfrey’s and found a list of known crimes of Godfrey/“Harry Jones”: Sodomy (twenty four separate accounts); Racketeering; Tax evasion; manslaughter (At least ten accounts); Prostitution (male and female? at least thirty three accounts); sexual assault; Child endangerment; Perjury (fifty five accounts!); kidnapping; extortion; forgery; burglary; criminal damage; trafficking; attempted murder; murder; drunk; public indecency; indecency with a man (two accounts); trespassing (one hundred and ninety three accounts.)

From this list of crimes I’ve deduced many things. Namely that Mr Jones and Mr Afram had a sexual relationship at one point in time, and they were caught in “indecent acts” on July 7th 1868 and again in 1879.

Godfrey/Harry was a deeply intriguing man. It’s clear that some sort of shift happened to make him want to pursue a life of crime. Perhaps the conflict between his homosexuality and his faith had something to do with it.

hiiiieyyyy professór. Soz this is in sooo late my computer has been updating for 3 weeks and I had all my research onit. thaaynksss xxx -3-

written like a report from a girl who does not care about her grade she just likes researching.

[xianjaneway]

The Loss of Rev. Bubba Copeland, Part 2

(Content note: we're going to address topics like suicide, child sex abuse, graphic descriptions of sex & abuse in fiction, fundamentalist & conservative hatred towards LGBTQIA people, & the Southern Baptist Convention's cover-up of child sexual assault within its leadership. This is a cry for justice, & it's not going to be pretty. If any of this is unhealthy for you to read about, please use the back button to save your sanity.)

Conservative Christianity showed its face today, & it is dirty.

The response of the church to the passing of Rev. Copeland has been outrageous, confusing, and filled with both misinformation & bigotry.

I need the queer, trans, fanfic, dead dove, & any other affected community to see what's happening here:

They're saying his works of fiction are indications that he's a danger to the community.

They're saying that, because he wrote about a murder, using the name of a real woman, he must have secretly wanted to murder her.

I don't know how to explain to non-writers, "Fiction isn't reality. Copeland wasn't going to murder that woman, just like I'm NEVER going to be an military intelligence analyst in witness protection."

I wonder if they think reality TV is real.

Even worse, they're attacking those of us who brought stories of systemic child sexual abuse into the light, saying, "BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS GUY?? HOW CAN YOU DEFEND HIM?"

My friend @CoffeeYall said it best: "We will never ever deal with church abuse, when we view a queer adult man as having the same amount of evil, as a pastor who grooms and rapes underage girls."

The church fundamentally does not understand the difference between "sin," or violating their commandments, & "abuse," the act of harming another person, taking a person's agency away, controlling them, violating them, & destroying them. They view sin as a type of abuse against God, the church, & society, & seek to banish it.

They don't understand consent, which is why the fact that Rev. Copeland's wife had full knowledge & consent of their online life doesn't matter to them. When we became Evangelical, we were supposed to give ALL of our will & ambition & sense of self over to God.

They don't understand that people have a right to exist without their approval. They literally see themselves as a type of authority that should be on equal footing with the government.

Here's the laziest example of this type of thinking. It's an excerpt from James Dobson's book, "Marriage Under Fire," page one:

Does Dobson justify this claim in any way? Of course not. That would take work! Evangelicals like him just accept that their views should be taken as default. They don't understand that protecting the rights of people who disagree with them eventually protects their own rights as well.

You might ask, "Why then would Rev. Copeland stay in such an environment? He was only harming himself?"

Sadly, Rev. Copeland was 49 years old when he died. I turn 44 in a couple of weeks. I can tell you, as someone just five years younger than him, who also grew up in a rural community, that we didn't grow up with the internet, or strong technology literacy, or any diversity of media.

The only difference is, I was taken away when I was 16, & was exposed to a new world of ideas. If I'd stayed?

The most radical or diverse ideas I'd have seen would be at the solitary Catholic church in a 30 mile radius. Maybe I'd have been a crazy Apostolic or Methodist Lady Pastor!

People who discover truths about themselves late in life often face a very difficult choice:

Hide who you are for just a FEW more years, until you can comfortably retire.

Don't hide who you are, & lose everything you've spent the last 20-30 years building. Your community, your financial security, your dignity, & your life.

I know a pastor who successfully navigated 3 short years before retirement. I could tell when the topics & language of his sermons changed, that he was struggling. He's now living happily, about 2500 miles away.

I wish Rev. Copeland had been given that same chance.

[lostinhistory212]

The Devil That You Know Ch. 1

            Hannah sat on the floor of her darkened room, lighting black candles that formed a circle around a symbol that was painted on the hardwood floor. The red pentagram on the floor was a sign that she was up to no good. The 20-year-old sat cross legged in front of the symbol and finished lighting the last candle. She fit the part of someone who would do this, wearing tight black jeans and a black t-shirt with a necklace that held the symbol of the ancient Egyptian Ankh. Her brown hair was in a ponytail that kept her hair out of her face as she prepared for the ritual in front of her. “Almost done. Just need to say the words and we can curse out shitty stepfather.”

Her younger sister Melody was sitting beside her looking the exact opposite of her. At 18 years old, she had her dirty blond hair flowing freely and wore a white button-up dress shirt and a black skirt, the uniform of her restaurant job that she was working through the summer. Around her neck was a small golden cross representing her return to the church after getting baptized again when she was 15. Being religious didn’t stop her from being with her sister during the dark ritual since she saw her religion through the lens of science and logic. She was gifted in the sciences and tried to use logic to make herself believe that her sister’s google search ritual would do nothing except to stain the floor. The ritual didn’t even include a sacrifice which Melody knew was a step too far. The pig’s blood her sister got from the butcher shop to mark the pentagram was as far as they went but she didn’t feel too bad since God put animals on the earth to be used by humans. “I’m still not sure about this. Brock isn’t a great stepfather but to try to curse him is a little much, even for you. I pray every day for God to bring happiness to our broken family.”

Their family had been a mess since their father died in a plane crash when they were in their early teens. He was flying out of Jakarta when his plane crashed into the sea and their mother was devastated. She didn’t wait long to remarry as she wanted someone to provide for her and her daughters. Their mother Stacy met her new husband Brock when she was traveling for a real estate convention. She was a real estate agent while he owned multiple properties as well as a business that gave him a steady income and required only a small amount of work. She fell in love with his masculinity, something that their previous father lacked as well as his ability to provide for her. Stacy was a shopping addict and would also become too used to the fancier lifestyle that he provided for her. This would cause her to look past his shortcomings to the detriment of her daughters. Brock wasn’t a bad man, he didn’t touch the sisters, but it felt more that he didn’t care about them, they were just another expense. One night, after coming home drunk, he confessed to Hannah that he was still there only because a divorce would make things more difficult than it needs to be. He would tell her that he was only now playing the waiting game to get the girls through school then out of his hair.

Hannah would take out the pages she printed out from the internet and read it through again. She’d found it on a forum that other witches posted on and had been able to save the pages posted by someone who claimed that it was a ritual that would summon a demon to curse a person. It could be seen as an act of revenge or a deserved punishment. The ritual was nothing that Hannah had seen before and before she could reach out to the original poster, the forum moderator had deleted the thread. She was annoyed by that but at least she saved the few pages that the OP posted. They looked like they were photocopied from an older book, the words written in the black ink of a sharp pen. It looked legitimate even though she’d never seen an actual spell book. All that was left was to read the words and wait. Though there was one thing that she had to do that she didn’t tell her sister about. The main rules for this ritual were to do it with at least one other person and that person should be either a non-believer or someone who was against the dark forces. It was believed that a demon wouldn’t waste time unless it felt it was being challenged. Melody was the only person who both didn’t believe but would also be hostile to one if it was real. She was a two for one, she laughed to herself.

The lights were out, and the room was only lit by candles, which also made it difficult to read the text, so Hannah leaned down towards a candle and began to read the Latin that was written on the pages. She had only rehearsed in her head, and she knew she was butchering the language, but it was the thought that counted. She read off the words, finishing the first page then moving to the next where it ended with a challenge command of some kind that was supposed to goad the demon. She put all her energy into the command and raised her hands up to the air and waited for something to happen, but nothing did. She slowly lowered her hands feeling stupid and wondered if she said something wrong or was just stupid to believe this was real. She looked over to her sister who was about to give her an “I told you so” but before she could the room went dark.

The candles would blow out in a hard breeze which isn’t too weird except that the windows and door were closed. The room soon got darker and darker as if something was blocking the light from entering the girl’s room. The room got cold, and another breeze would blow past them shifting their eyes around the room until focusing back on the ritual site and seeing a large black shadow in front of them. They both stood up and backed up away from the darkness that would slowly take the shape of a large black dog. It looked like some kind of massive Doberman except with no texture or solid body and had bright red eyes staring at them. The creature looked at Hannah then over to Melody then back at Hannah as it sat there making no sounds. The girls didn’t know what they had just done and were too terrified to even move or scream. The massive hell hound would stand up before swirling in a mini tornado of black mass, blowing hard enough to knock small items off shelves and forcing the girls to cover their faces.

It would take a minute for the wind to die down, allowing the girls to take a look to see what the beast was doing but when their eyes went back to the pentagram, there was a massive shadow standing there. The shadow would tower before them and slowly take the shape of a man that had to be at least 6 foot 5 inches which made the 5’6 girls feel small and weak against it. The shadow would slowly dissipate revealing more of the man which seemed less and less like a human as they saw his red skin. The man’s skin was a mixture of scaly and human that wasn’t covered by a single scrap of clothing. The girls would see the man’s jet-black hair, yellow eyes with black irises and sharp looking teeth. He could almost be seen as a human who may have been painted except for his massive claws on his hands and feet as well as his 4-inch horns that went out of the side of his head that pointed forward like a bull. It wouldn’t take long for the girls to discover the demonic man’s main feature, his 12-inch dick hanging freely between his legs. The slightly experienced Hannah and inexperienced Melody couldn’t take their eyes off his massive member and would only be pulled back when the creature spoke. “Who summoned me?”

The sisters were shocked into a near catatonic state as they stared at the being they summoned and had no idea how to undo the ritual. He would step out of the circle and walk closer to the girls standing just in front of them where he could look directly down at them. Melody wrapped both of her arms around Hannah’s arm, her cross hanging over onto her sister’s side. When the creature noticed, he smiled. “Oh, a believer?” He let out a guttural laugh that sounded like a mix of laughing and roaring. When he stopped, he would reach out and grab the girl’s shoulder, “Where is your god now human?” Hannah was terrified but responded quickly to divert the demon’s attention to her instead of her sister. “I’m the one who summoned you demon. I have a request to make of you. There is a man I would like you to curse for me.” She tried to look strong, but she was barely holding herself together.

The demon moved his hand off of Melody and shifted his attention to Hannah, “You dare ask something of me? Do you even have anything to offer me? Your soul maybe?” Hannah’s heart wouldn’t stop beating but she swallowed and answered, “I offer you the soul of my stepfather. You can both torment and take from him. How does that sound?” The demon placed his hand on his chin and seemed to look in thought before smiling, showing his sharp teeth in his mouth, “Sounds interesting. I may be able to do this for you, but I need to make a pact with the mortals who summoned me. Without the pact, there’s no way I can do what you ask, at least no reason for me to do so. What do you mortals choose?”

Melody looked at her older sister, “Don’t do it Hannah. You can’t make a deal with demonic creatures. He’s an agent of the devil and will take from us even though he says he won’t.” Hannah reached down and rubbed her younger sister’s cheek, “It’s okay Mel, I won’t let anything happen to you. If there is a devil’s bet or something like that, then I’ll take it all on myself. I won’t let anything happen to you. Let’s get this done and free our family of that man. We’ve gone too far to turn back now.” Melody looked into her sister’s eyes and knew that she would not change her mind about this. Reluctantly, she nodded. Hannah faced the demon, “We agree to your turns. We’ll make this pact, and you will go punish our father.” She tried to look as determined as she could, even though she was scared shitless. “Also, what is your name?”

The creature smiled then gave a bow, “My name is Vician, I’m happy to meet you two mortals. Now, let us seal this pact. It’s simple.” He would bring his large hand down and lift Hannah’s hand which seemed tiny in comparison and brought it up above her head where he would lean in and give it a gentle kiss before releasing it. His hand would now take Melody’s hand and lift it up to his lips, giving it a kiss as well before letting her take it back. “It’s sealed.” The creature would step back a couple steps and smile.

The girls would look at the back of their hands where Vician had kissed it, looking at it with curiosity. It seemed to be fine, and they believed at that moment that they had made the right choice. They would both realize a moment later that they in fact did not make a good choice, they made the worst choice. Both of their hands would begin to burn as if it was in a hot oven but soon got worse, feeling like someone was burning it in an open flame. Both girls fell to their knees and cried out from the pain. Hannah was the first to look at the demon, “What did you do to us?! You bastard! What did you do?!”

Another bestial laugh would escape his lips, his head moving back to guffaw at their stupidity. “I’m not just a demon you brainless humans. I’m an incubus, a sexual demon. I don’t just want souls, I consume sexual energy. With that pact sealed, you will serve me and feed me with your sexual energy or find someone else to feed off. I’m not leaving until I’ve had my fill. You two find out what you want to do, and I’ll be back when you’ve chosen. Good luck fools.” He would continue to laugh as the shadow once again consumed him and shot into the ceiling where they could no longer hear him.

Hannah and Melody sat on the ground crying, realizing that they had truly fucked up. The burning on the back of their hands was slowly dissipating and when they looked there was a mark. It was a black heart surrounded by a blood red stain, looking somewhere in between a tattoo and a birth mark. Either way, it was a sign of the pact they made with the sex demon, and they didn’t know what they should do. Hannah tried to hold back her tears as Melody cried with her head pressed against her chest, but she couldn’t and cried holding her sister.

Upstairs, their stepfather was napping after an evening drinking beer and watching sports. He didn’t have to work since he paid others to manage his businesses and properties. He was a stocky man with a muscular build though had a noticeable beer belly, he had certainly seen better days. His short blond cut hair was a mess as he drunkenly tossed and turned, though he was in the early stages of balding. At 48 years old, he wasted his middle years being drunk and useless. If it wasn’t for his money, he would have nothing to offer anyone which led him to continuously sleep with other woman and lie to his wife about his business trips. He was just waiting until her daughters were adults and he could leave without paying child support.

He was dreaming of the boat he wanted to buy, him steering through calm waters at the helm. It was a wonderful dream except soon the weather started to shift.  The skies went dark, and the water got rough as he tried to control the boat but with each large wave, he felt that it would tip over. Just after a large wave tossed him overboard, he would feel a hand grab his wrist and pull him out of the water. He would look up to his hero and see a red creature that looked at him with yellow eyes then would pull him out of the water onto the boat. “It seems that you need some help human. I see that you’re unable to live up to your true potential. I can see that you were once strong and assertive, seducing woman and commanding men, but now you’ve gotten fat and weak. You’re pathetic now and only seek the simple pleasures of life. I can offer you more, I can give you power and your strength back for a low cost of your soul. What do you say human? Do you want to be strong again.” Brock looked at the demon, not sure if he was still dreaming or had died and gone to hell. But the idea of being strong again excited him. It didn’t take long for him to reach out his hand, “Deal.” Vician took his hand and shook it. “Good choice.”

Brock would wake up in a cold sweat but after a couple of minutes he calmed down. He felt full of energy but more importantly, he was incredibly horny. Brock didn’t understand why or how but after spending the last couple of years with erectile disfunction and only able to get it up with pills, he now not only felt hard, but he also felt larger than before with his bulge visible in his gym shorts. Brock’s mind would soon be filled with an uncontrollable lust and walked out of his room looking for his wife, but Stacy was out of town on a weekend spa trip with her friends. He stood there and thought for a moment then realized that his stepdaughters were home. He smiled and walked downstairs to their room, his yellow eyes guiding him through the dark house and a voice speaking in his subconscious, “If you’re as powerful as you think you are then it’s time to discipline your wife’s cunt daughters.” Brock smiled, letting the demon manipulate him like a puppet.

[autistic-beshelar]

1, 12, 20

the character everyone gets wrong

oh you fucking KNOW i'm gonna say mollymauk. EVERYONE gets him wrong.

the people that like him woobify him and act as though he's just a teeny baby who has never done anything wrong ever (these are also often widomauk shippers who sexualise/romanticise the 'socially casually shove him against the wall' scene).

and the people who hate him are often straight up fucking vile. one breed of these people are the youtube ableists who also hate taliesin for crimes of stuttering or taking a minute to find abilities. there's also people who have called him a terrorist sympathiser???

and generally people think he's just a complete asshole, manipulative bastard, and refuse to acknowledge that 1 - he was 2 fucking years old and raised in a circus by a man who planned to feed him to a lizard and 2. ALL of the mighty nein were assholes in the beginning!!! molly had some fucked up morals, but he made an attempt at having them, for the most part. caleb murdered his family. beau tried to strangle a six year old. fjord wanted to unleash an ancient evil god to get a cantrip. they were all fucked up in the beginning, the entire point of their campaign was that they gradually became better people, and molly's death, their grief for him and their memory of him was a major catalyst for that, particularly for beau.

it really irritates me when people say 'molly had too much of an influence on the rest of the campaign' bc like. that was the point. that was the whole story. they knew someone who was bright and shining and tried very hard to be and to bring joy - and he died. and he was also fucked up, and petty and bitchy and mean and they loved him. the mighty nein campaign is about grief and growth. you don't have to like molly, but it's so disingenuous to act as though his character and his death weren't important, when they defined so so much of the campaign, and of the characters' development.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

so you're actively willingly making me return to my hunter x hunter bullshit?

[pensive emoji] illumi zoldyck. my beloved who i have not thought about in so long

he's just so FASCINATING. because hxh is so much from killua's perspective, of course we're going to see illumi at first for, well, exactly what he is - an abuser, a manipulator, a villain.

but then you meet his family and they're all like that. illumi to me is so much a representation of cycles of abuse - an abused child who then went on to abuse his younger siblings - and cult upbringings. illumi knows NOTHING ELSE outside of what his family has taught him, he has no experience or understanding of the outside world unless it relates to his family's work.

he's also very different to the rest of his family in terms of his behaviour - while the rest of his family are also assassins, he's the only one that reads so clearly as Off, and to me reads clearly as neurodivergent - the flat affect that's so contrasted with his animated voice, the tendency to ramble to himself, the unstable emotions, the unusual posture. and there's also so much to unpack about the fact that illumi isn't the heir, despite the fact that he's (certainly in the beginning of the series) a thousand times more powerful than killua, upholds his family's values, excellent at his job, and actually WANTS to be an assassin.

man. he's just so fascinating. it's such a great look at how the situations people are in affect how 'good' or 'bad' we are able to be. illumi is a bad person - but how could he ever have been anything else?

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

stares at dragon age inquisition

tedious doesn't BEGIN to cover my fucking issues with inquisition but it's certainly part of the problem. there's just... so much wandering around doing fetch quests and it's so unnecessary. they created this BIG OPEN WORLD!!! and it just felt so... empty?? like dragon age 2 had three dungeons and a dodgy back alley but somehow there was so much more life in that game.

i never finished inquisition, partly bc i fucking despised what they did with hawke (the OOC ness, not the leaving them in the fade), as well as the anti-mage pro-templar propaganda, and the fucking. dont get me started on cullen. but also the game was just boring tbh. whereas origins i have played like 7 times and will undoubtedly play again

[yannaryartside]

Hello! Thank you for bringing this up

I actually have a theory, kinda has to do with the beef but with another element added: emotional incest. In other words, the reason Mickey never settled down is because of Donna.

For what we can gather from the age difference between the Bearzatto siblings (Mickey was born in 79 and Nat on 88, making Mickey at least 15 years older than Carmy, but is likely is 20 years since Carmy doesn’t seem to be that much older than 30) and the fact that Carmy’s father left when before he was 5 (he said he didn’t remember much of him), is is safe to assume that Mickey was more of a father figure than a sibling to the younger bearzattos.

So let’s asume theirs dad leaves when Carmy is 5 years old and Mickey is in his early twenties. He goes straight out of hight school to work in the beef until his mother quits. He became, from that moment on, the “man of the house”

I am latina. In our culture is extremely normal to parentify and hyper sexualize young boys when there is no adult male figure in the household. The young boy, regardless of age, is expected to support the family but also be devoted emotionally to their mothers (the actual head of the household). In some cases, if the adult male figure leaves the home after a divorce or a infidelity, the mother develops some sort of emotional fixation on their son, and starts to request the emotional devotion that you would expect of a romantic partner. This is called emotional incest. It can take many forms, but one that is very common is the rejection of the mother towards any romantic partners that their son had once they leave the house, they would say things like “nobody is good enough for my son”

I was reading a book for couples therapy and there was a story of a man that insisted that his mom came to live with him and his wife because her mom didn’t had nobody else and “how could they survive without me?” One night, the mil even interrupted the married couple as they were in the shower because they were “taking to much time”

I willing to be a lot of money on the fact that Mickey never contemplated settling down with a woman because Donna was to emotionally dependent on him. Mind you, he was still living with her in Fishes so is a good assumption to think he was living in his childhood home till the day he died. He was in his late 40’s, that is not normal. This is a factor that likely contributed to his depression.

He was extremely charismatic, and maybe had couples here and there but is a safe assumption that Donna never liked none of them. So he will end things. Richie, who is a mirror of Mickey, managed to marry and have a kid at that point.

Edit: I just remembered something. In “Fishes” we see Mickey and Donna team up to bully Carmy into saying ily which could be an indication that growing up Mickey used to taken his mother side on arguments as a way to keep peace (the husband role). He also was very protective every time that Lee made Donna a shady business proposal. Then at dinner, Lee reminded Michael that he could fuck him up, which indicates that Michael and Lee got into physical fights when Michel was younger (and we don’t even know if he was a child when it started). There is even the horrible chance that Michael had to act as a guardian dog (or a punching bag) to prevent Lee from hurting his younger siblings. The more you think about it the worse it gets. The early physical abuse that he was not allowed to address (because he was a man”) likely contributed to his depression.

So I absolutely love reading the character analyses y’all post on here. And I recently had a thought.

It’s kind of been implied that since Mikey has good social skills, that he’s popular with the ladies. However, between spending all his time at The Beef and his depression, I can’t see him having time for dating.

Like when he tells Tina he doesn’t remember the last time he went to bed…The Beef consumes his life.

And maybe he retells his old party stories like Ceres over and over again because he’s been too busy for that since he took over The Beef and all he has are his old stories to reminisce.

I welcome anyone’s thoughts in this discussion!

[inimikal-archive]

Its  time  for  Erol  headcanon  stuff  at  long  last.  This  is  a  big  rewrite  of  stuff  from  Erol’s  old  blog ! 

The  first  thing  to  address,  I  think,  is  the  character  ages  so  I’m  gonna  start  here.  They’re  completely  insane  &  Erol  is  one  of  the  few  characters  never  given  an  age  in  the  canon.  A  lot  of  people  tend  to  put  Erol  in  his  mid 30s  &  I  actually  have  no  idea  why  because  he  always  registered  as  a  lot  younger  to  me,  keeping  in  mind  almost  all  the  characters  are  a  hell  of  a  lot  younger  than  you  would  think  because  Naughty  Dog  made  some  very  interesting  choices  with  JnD.  So  while  I  don’t  give  a  shit  about  the  “canon”  ages,  &  Erol  never  got  a  canon  age,  I  still  tend  to  see  him  a  lot  younger  than  fanon  seems  to.  Plus,  does  the  man  look  like  hes  in  his  30s ?  Not  to  me.  He  doesn’t  act  like  it  either. 

My  age  for  Erol  is  around  20-23ish,  just  slightly  younger  than  Ashelin.   Now  I  think  the  reason  people  tend  to  aim  a  lot  older  is  because  of  Erol’s  advanced  rank  in   the  KG.  But  things  to  consider  here  is  that  a  lot  of  the  KG  were  implied  to  be  very  young,  more  so  than  you  might  think,  many  (forcefully)  recruited  as  children  &  (forcefully)  kept  in  the  service  until  their  deaths  &  all  evidence  leads  to  the  fact  that  many  KG  soldiers  died  very  young  given  ever  present  battles  against  the  metal-heads  &  the  extreme  corruption  of  Haven  itself. 

Again,  other  very  high  ranking  members  of  the  KG  such  as  Ashelin  Praxis  were  only  in their  early  20s.  I  believe  Ashelin  was  around  22-23-24  years  old  throughout  the  games  from  Jak 2  to  Jak  X.  Torn,  an  ex  KG  captain  was  by  far  the  oldest  at  28-29-30,  but  still  not  quite  as  old  as  you  might  imagine.  I  mean,  I  even  think  Torn’s  on  the  young  side  but  he  seems  older  to  me.  If  I  hadn’t  looked  his  age  up  I’d  imagine  him  to  be  a  little  older  but  the  thing  is  he’s  just  been  through  some  shit  &  honestly  given  how  life  was  in  Haven  city,  anyone  making  it  into  their  30s  was  probably  looked  at  as  hitting  middle  age.  OF  COURSE,  there  are  some  characters  in  the  game  that  ARE  actually  “old”  but  they  tend  to  predate  all  of  the  craziness  we  see  in  jak  2,  as  we  know  Haven  was  not  always  like  this,  but  that  we’re  introduced  to  it  at  a  time  where  its  teetering  on  the  edge  of  losing  a  long  &  grueling  war  with  literal  monsters  that  are  literally  planning  to  kill  &  eat  everyone.  Furthermore,  they’re  not  shown  as  high  ranking  figures  in  the  KG  because  active  Krimzon  Guard  personnel  would  obviously  have  a  much  lower  life  expectancy  all  of  this  considered.  

&  the  final  thing  to  consider  is  that  kids  are  a  lot  easier  to  manipulate,  radicalize  &  indoctrinate  &  the  Baron’s  dictatorship  at  this  point  was  relying  heavily  on  propaganda  &  martial  law.  Moreover,  Erol  himself  was  essentially  treated  as  living  propaganda.  This  was  very,  very  intentional  &  above  all  why  Erol  always  registered  to  me  as  a  lot  younger  than  he  seems  to  hit  in  the  fandom.  Erol  was,  essentially,  in  my  headcanon,  an  up  &  coming  young  race  star  who  was  purposefully  indoctrinated  &  recruited  into  the  KG  to  help  boost  the  appeal  of  the  KG   &  the  Baron’s  rule.  Evidence  of  this,  I  think,  is  everywhere  but  what  really  guides  my  thought  process  is  the  way  Erol  has  been  canonly  dubbed  “The  son  of  Haven  City”,  this  is  an  affectionate  moniker  given  to  him  by  Baron  Praxis  &  Erol’s  races  are  highly  promoted  &  glamorized  throughout  the  city  along  with  Erol  himself.  They’re  also  heavily  linked  to  Praxis   as  the  “prizes”  for  winning  are  not  only  an  extremely  large  supply  of  dark  eco  (one  that  we  could  argue  the  Baron  couldn’t  actually  afford  to  give)  but  also  a  tour  of  Haven  Palace.  These  are  both  things  the  Baron  was  not  the  kind  of  guy  to  offer  to  just  anyone. So  this  meant  the  reality  of  the  NYFE  championship  was  really  just  Praxis  putting  on  a show  where  he  promotes  these  races  that  get  the  city  hyped  because  not  only  do  many  of  them  look  at  Erol  as  a  hero  &  a  celebrity,  but  this  also  promoted  massive  engagement  with &  glamorized  the  KG,  because  even  if  you  didn't  like  Erol,  you  didn’t  like  the  military  &  you  just  liked  racing,  you’d  be  tempted  to  try  your  hand  at  beating  him  &  snatching  his  crown,  as  well  as  a  massive  supply  of  eco  which  could  probably  make  your  wildest  dreams  come  true.  But  the  thing  was  Erol  never  lost.  He  was  undefeated  &  undeniably  the  most  talented  racer  in  the  game  outside  of  Jak’s  protagonist  powers.

This  also  suggests  a  kind  of  surrogate  father-son  dynamic  between  Erol  &  Praxis  which  seems  to  very  much  fit  given  Erol  was  closer  to  Praxis  than  it  seemed  anyone  else  was,  including  his  own  daughter.  In  fact,  it  even  seems  as  if  Erol  was  the  only  person  in  the  entire  city  Praxis  really  trusted  beside  himself.  I  think  when   Praxis  refers  to  Erol  as  “the  son  of  haven  city”  he’s  practically  calling  Erol  his  son  given  he  is  haven  city.  Again,  Praxis  was  very  much  a  cunning,  foul  tempered,  stern  &  paranoid  man  so  this  is  extremely  unusual  &  definitely  makes  Erol  very  note-worthy  &  “special”  way  beyond  his  title  as  NYFE  champion.  Also  brings  me  to  the  fact  that  Erol  was  very,  very  much  like  Praxis  himself,  as  if  the  man  was  fundamental  in  shaping  who  Erol  is.  It  seemed  to  me  that  Erol  had  picked  up  a  lot  from  him  &  there  is  cut  dialog  suggesting  Erol  would  become  the  next  Baron  in  Praxis’  defeat/death.  Which  is  a  lot  given  Praxis  literally  had  a  biological  daughter  right  there  but  she  was  not  favored  by  him  near  as  much  as  Erol  apparently  was.  Which  is  stuff  I  think  all  fits  &  works  for  canon  &  honestly  ND  screwed  up  the  game  in  the  end  there  horrendously  so  I  have  to  fix  everything  &  I  kind  of  see  Erol  as  the  perfect  foil  to  Jak  &  this  gives  them  some  similarities  in  the  sense  that  Jak  has  Samos  as  a  surrogate  father  figure  as  he  isn’t  able  to  connect  with  his  real  father  until  Damas  death. 

Which  brings  me  to  Erol’s  real  father  &  his  background,  which  is  purely  my  own  headcanons  here  that  I  tie  into  all  of  this.  This  is  a  nutshell  version  of  what  I  wrote  up  for  Erol’s  blog  because  I’m  lazy.  I  haven't  named  Erol’s  father  yet  &  I’m  following  the  JnD  trend  of  character’s  having  fathers  with  no  mothers,  but  he  was  a  track  mechanic  which  is  where  Erol’s  love  of  racing  began.  He  always  wanted  to  race,  something  that  he  maybe  once  hoped  would  come  with  the  benefit  of  impressing  his  father.  The  problem  being  that  Erol’s  father  was  an  abusive  alcoholic  &  a  small  time  criminal  who  was  involved  in  a  lot  of  shady  practices,  notably  drug  trafficking.  Which  is  where  Erol  got  all  of  his  race  training  from  -  he  was  the  delivery  /  errand  boy  for  a  lot  of  his  father’s  “business”,  both  legal  &  not  so  legal.  He  took  this  service  as  an  opportunity  to  practice  his  racing  skills  by  getting  himself  from  point  A  to  B  around  the  city  in  record  time.   When  Erol  expressed  wanting  to  race  he  was  delighted  to  find  his  father  was  more  than  supportive.  In  fact,  despite  the  serious  danger  of  racing,  he  had   a  plan  for  Erol  to  win  the  Eco.  &  it  was  here  when  Erol’s  speed  &  talents  on  the  track  got  him  noticed  by  Praxis,  who  quickly  “befriended”  him  &  invited  him  into  the  KG.  Erol  loved  the  attention,  especially  from  someone  so  important.  When  Erol  won  his  first  championship  he  found  out  his  father  planned  to  take  the  Eco  &  split  town,  &  Erol  seemed  to  have  been  left  out  of  the  loop  on  this.  A  fight  erupted  &  Erol  returned  to  Praxis  with  the  Eco,  leaving  his  father  for  dead.  From  here,  Erol  officially  joined  the  KG  &  the  two  began  to  conspire  about  the  following  races.  As  in  it  was  Erol’s  duty  to  remain  champion  &  win  the  races  in  order  to  keep  the  eco  &  the  palace  tour  out  of  the  hands  of  the  public.  Further,  Erol’s  relationship  with  Praxis  meant  he  moved  through  the  KG  fast  making  him  as  much  of  a  ‘solider’  as  he  was  a  champion  racer.  Which  leads  me  to  another  headcanon  I  have  regarding  Erol’s  position  as  Commander,  as  in,  I  don’t  think  it  was  a  rank  that  really  existed  before  Erol  &  before  Torn’s  defection.  Essentially,  in  my  headcanon  Torn  was  the  highest  ranking  KG  captain  &  once  he  defected  it  caused  a  bit  of  chaos,  &  was  especially  troublesome  in  the  sense  that  as  far  as  the  canon  goes,  the  KG  isn’t  something  you  just  walk  away  from,  hence  the  tattoos,  its  to  the  death,  not  only  that  but  a  high-ranking  leader  such  as  torn  saying  “screw  it,  Praxis  is  corrupt”  &  ditching  really  does  NOT  bode  well  for  both  public  &  private  image.  So  in  order  to  remedy  this  Torn  was  smeared  as  a  coward  &  a  traitor  &  a  higher  rank  was  applied,  &  Erol  was  naturally  chosen  to  fill  it.  Erol,  who  was  already  pretty  well  liked  due  to  his  race-star  status  &  potentially  “trusted”  by  the  public  as  a  result  meant  that  Erol  taking  over  in  such  a  way  &  thus  helping  spread  the  word  that  Torn  was  just  a  cowardly  traitor  made  the  story  that  much  easier  to  swallow  &  helped  to  pacify  both  the  public  &  the  Guard. 

This  gave  Erol  more  control  over  the  KG  &  the  city,  &  Praxis  more  control  overall  since  Erol  was  basically  just  a  younger  extension  of  himself.  Which  means,  roughly  by  the  timeline  Erol  has  been  Commander  for  around  4ish  years  in  my  headcanon  &  why  Erol  is  considered  as  much  a  threat  to  &  enemy  of  the  underground  as  Praxis  himself.  You  can’t  really  separate  the  two  of  them.    Another  thing  that  made  my  thoughts  go  this  way  was  the  KG  tattoos.  Now  these  seem  to  indicate  rank,  however,  you  cant  just  change  your  massive  face  tattoo  as  you  level  up.  Normally,  you’d  think  if  these  tattoo's  had  to  do  with  rank,  you’d  have  to  get  a  pattern  similar  to  Torn  &  Ashelin’s  before  you  moved  up  to  whatever  “addition”  was  made  to  indicate  Commander,  that  is  IF  the  commander  rank  always  existed.  From  what  we  saw,   Ashelin  &  Torn  seemed  to  have  a  similar  tattoo  pattern  which  makes  sense  as  they  were  both  top  KG  officers  with  the  Rank  of  “Captain”.  Erol  on  the  other  hand  has  a  completely  different  tattoo  pattern  that  doesn’t  even  resemble  what  Ashelin  &  Torn  have  going  on.  You  would  think  if  this  is  the  tattoo  you  get  when  you  level  up  to  Captain,  Erol  would  have  had  to  have  a  similar  tattoo  before  he  made  Commander.  But  he  doesn’t.  Its  as  if  the  Commander  title  was  added  just  for  him  &  thus  his  tattoo  pattern  is  exclusive  to  him.  So  how  it  goes  in  my  mind  is  Ashelin  was  promoted  to  take  Torn’s  place  as  the  lead  Captain,  &  the  tattoo  was  slightly  changed  for  her  &  Erol  was  placed  directly  into  a  higher  role,  which  came  with  a  completely  different  tattoo  pattern  all  together  &  was  no  doubt  a  shit  on  Ashelin  in  the  process  &  feels  very  Praxis  to  do  tbh,  given  he  clearly  didn’t  trust  or  favor  his  daughter. 

While  Erol  may  recognize  Praxis  as  a  little  unstable,  he  doesn’t  actually  fault  him  because  he  believes  in  him  &  believes  hes  right  in  his  approach  to  everything.  &  if  hes  wrong ?  No  hes  not  &  Erol  will  make  him  right,  because  Erol  as  much  looks  at  him  as  a  father  figure  as  it  seems  Praxis  thinks  of  him  as  a  son.  Erol’s  less  about  the  ultimate  good  of  the  city  &  more  about  pleasing  himself  &  impressing  Praxis.  Another  thing  to  note  in  Erols  motives  for  helping  Praxis  is  that  he  really  doesn’t  seem  to  like  Haven  city  that  much.  Sure,  Erol’s  fighting  for  his  city  &  his  people,  to  protect  them  from  the  metal-heads  but  he  doesn’t  seem  to  have  a  lot  of  love  over-all  for  the  city.  In  fact,  he  seems  quite  bitter  toward  it  &  doesn't  seem  to  like  many  of  the  people  in  it  which  is  why  I  headcanon  that  Erol  came  from  a  dodgy  background  as  opposed  to  always  being  among  the  city  elite.  Which  means  unlike  Ashelin,  he  cant  look  at  the  city  or  his  hopes  for  it  through  rose-colored  glasses. 

For  me  this  just  explains  why  Erol,  despite  being  looked  at  quite  fondly  by  the  general  public,  doesn’t  really  return  the  love  &  seems  to  be  lone  wolf  outside  of  the  KG  troops  he  commands.  He  appears  more  for  individuals  (like  Praxis  &  Keira )  than  for  the  majority.  Hes  “protecting”  the  city  &  following  Praxis  orders  not  out  of  a  love  for  it  &  its  people,  &  a  hope  to  create  a  better  future,  like  Ashelin , but  more  because  doing  so  is  a  necessity  given  the  very  real  threat  of  the  metal-heads  busting  in  &  killing  everyone,  himself  included,  otherwise.  Because  even  if  Erol  doesn’t  have  a  lot  of  love  for  everyone,  he  does  have  those  few  people  he  does  care  about  &  the  metal-heads  taking  over  was  a  guaranteed  death  sentence  for  everyone.  As  Kor,  the  metal-head  leader  described  once  the  metal-heads  take  a  city  they  kill  &  eat  until  no  one  is  left.  Being  killed  by  metal-heads  is  thought  of  as  the  worst  way  to  go. 

Anyway,  now  that  all  that  rambling  is  out  of  the  way  I  was  talking  to  @pertrahe​  earlier  about  AUs  &  since  I’d  rewrite  a  lot  of  JnD  going  into  Jak  3  I  was  thinking  of  like  alternative  scenarios  for  Erol’s  death  bc  tbh  ND  fucked  this  up  &  got  a  bit  of  pocket  with  it  lmao.  Like  they  knew  killing  him  off  was  a  dumb  move  &  tried  to  bring  him  back  right  away  &  made  a  mess  of  the  whole  thing  so   alternative  events  for  Erol:  1)  Potentially  attempts  to  fight  the  metal-heads  with  his  own  squad  as  he  thought  he  could  do  during  the  start  of  the  game,  after  Praxis  death.  Gets  mauled  half  to  death  as  a  result.  Though  to  keep  the  Dark  Eco  exposure  which  I  kind  of  think  is  important  going  forward  he  could  be  involved  in  an  explosion  perhaps  by  trying  to  bait  the  metal-heads  with  the  eco  or  something  along  those  lines.  The  over-exposure  to  the  Dark  Eco  attracts  the  Dark  Makers  &  they  decide  to  save  &  “rebuild”  him.    2)  Erol’s  “death”  happens  as  canon  but  we  actually  get  more  details  on  the  aftermath  including  Keira  being  acknowledged  as  having  sage  abilities  &  being  able  to  harness  Green  Eco  to  save  him  from  death  since  Erol’s  “accident”  was  a  very  public  thing,  lmao.  Though  maybe  she  should  have  let  him  die  given  he’s  in  a  pretty  sorry  state  of  being  &  it  gets  worse.  I  like  to  think  maybe  Count  Vegar  had  something  to  do  with  Erol  suddenly  being  labeled  “dead”  &   attempts  to  eject  him  from  Haven  Hospital  &  leave  him  somewhere  to  die,  looking  at  him  as  possible  threat  to  his  own  plans  in  spite  of  his  condition,  which  similarly  to  1,  leads  to  the  Dark  Maker’s  finding  him  &  perhaps  were  the  ones  linking  with  the  KG  robots  to  “rebuild”  him  into  a  cyborg-nightmare  that  the  alien  from  Virus  1999  would  be  proud  of.  (thats  the  peek  aesthetic  here,  btw)   We  know  that  the  Dark  Makers  were  very  technologically  advanced  &  they  had  some  weird  control  over  cybernetics.  Though  they  dont  really  explain  it  in  the  game  we  can  at  LEAST  assume  this  is  how  Erol’s  canon  counterpart  was  able  to  “link”  with  the  Dark  Marker’s  &  maybe  the  massive  over-exposure  to  Dark  Eco  made  Erol  appealing  to  them.  Though  we  just  don’t  know  how  he  got  “resurrected”  as  a  cyborg  in  the  first  place.  Like  there  is  just  no  info  on  any  of  that,  this  is  just  me  speculating  &  how  I’d  probably  work  toward  explaining  it  in  AUs  /  rewrites  because  I’m  def  not  sticking  to  canon  after  Jak  2  regardless.  Theres  also  a  3rd  option  in  Erol  never  getting  exploded  at  all  &  maybe  just  putting  aside  his  ISSUES  to  work  with  the  underground  to  stop  Praxis  from  trying  to  blow  up  the  whole  city  cos  thats  a  bit  extra.  Like  Erol  would  have  fought  with  Praxis  to  the  death  but  he  probably  wouldn’t  want  to  go  as  far  as  blowing  up  the  entire  city  &  himself.  He  might  be  torn  over  it  because  Erol  does  follow  Praxis  logic  but  at  the  same  time  he  held  this  personal  glimmer  of  hope  that  it  didn’t  need  to  come  to  that  &  they  could  defeat  the  metal-heads.  Again,  Erol  was  quite  convinced  he  could  put  up  a  good  enough  fight  himself.  But  anyway,  something  happening  in  regards  to  Erol  living  long  enough  to  find  out  Praxis  actually  planned  to  blow  up  all  of  them  in  an  effort  to  take  the  metal-heads  with  them.  I  don’t  know.  I  love  the  fact  I  have  the  real,  canon  based  potential  for  a  gory  horror  cyborg  Erol  but  the  way  canon  did  it  sucked  so  bad !  So  I’m  def  down  for  exploring  all  the  possible  alternative  options.  

[thinkingofsimpyboisinc]

Djhdhdjdjd ok ok so imagine this- Revivebur tries to find his darling. But darling joined Las Nevadas with fundy and is like a performer in the casino (idk what's happening currently in the lore cuz I'm so out of the loop rn but i do know that there's a casino for sure-) like they used to give like wholesome vibes but now-?

Bruh they did a whole ass glow up and they now give Jessica Rabbit vibes. And as soon as Revivebur recives word where his darling is, man practically yeeted himself into the casino, where his darling is currently all dolled up, all pretty like a newly bought Barbie doll on the stage..

(i can imagine the darling singing "Killing me softly" maybe like this? https://youtu.be/KGyTtPeP0Lw or like Kz Tandingan's version: https://youtu.be/CyPF91Qbf48

Or maybe like Jessie J's? https://youtu.be/GHyj93FGmuA

Idk i couldn't find a version that kinda gives off casino vibes id try to sing it but ehhhh ^^;;)

Basically this is the first time He hears his Darling sing, and man literally falls in love all over again. And he just simps so hard for them, and is oh so desperate to get them back, but darling is like "bitch my feelings died the moment the Wilbur I knew was gone-". (I tried to think of a more badass line but I'm tired ha-)

(Neways idk what to add more lol- i just thought of this while I was in the middle of reading an angsty Revivebur x reader ^^;;)

-🌻

the darling would absolutely take no shit from revivebur. what he did during the festival broke them and they felt as if they would never get the wilbur that they knew and love back.

when ghostbur is around, the darling allows herself to feel pity for the ghost. even though they know that ghostbur isnt their lover, theyre willing to let him believe that. at some times darling even believes that ghostbur is as close to their lover that theyll ever get so they let themselves feel like their lover.

darling joins las nevadas without telling ghostbur alongside fundy. even if fundy always acted defensive towards the darling due to how step kids can be at first, he warmed up to them really quickly. he doesnt know where hed be if they werent still besides him.

enough of that, revivebur. when darling hears that wilbur was revived, their first concern was fundy. they loved him more than they loved themself so they had to make sure he was alright. when both darling and fundy process the news, they both agree on hiding in las nevadas. it wouldnt be hard considering they already lived their, but they would definitely work on limiting their interactions with others outside of the country.

revivebur is almost immediately on the hunt for you. its been forever and his memories as ghostbur are a little foggy. he asks tommy where you are, but he doesnt know. so revivebur goes around the entire smp asking for where you are. some people (cough cough eret) would refuse to even tell him if they knew or not! its skeppy that tells where you are. not only is revivebur curious about the new country, but hes also curious as to why you're working with quackity. you and him never really got along.

its at nightime when he stumbles inside the casino and he's immediately blown away at the sound of your wonderful voice (second time jve wrote that today.) he feels like hes 20 years younger! (canon revivebur is 40+. don't believe me? check tommys first stream after c!wilbur was revived.) it feels like hes falling in love all over again.

eventually you head inside a door to the side and wilbur waits until the bodyguard (lets be honest, its just sam or purpled 😭) in front of the door has looked away to sneak past. it seems to just be a plain dressing room.

you turn at the sound of the door opening and immediately glare at wilbur. you werent worried about yourself, you were worried about your son. you would not let wilbur hurt him again.

"what do you want, wilbur?" he laughs and shrugs.

"what? im not able to see my wife? come here," he teases as he tries to pull you into a hug. you immediately back away and glare at him harder.

"dont lay a hand on me. i am not your wife and fundy isnt your son. get out," you hissed as wilbur stared down at you in disbelief. he lets out a breathy laugh.

"what? what do you mean youre not my wife?"

"i mean, im not your wife," you spoke, your tone laced in venom. you were even angrier than before. he didnt even care about fundy.

"youre being ridiculous. we have never gotten divorced," he mumbled. his anger was slowly starting to show through. you had to get him out.

"...."

"...."

"get out. before i scream," you responded. unfortunately, the one thing your outfit didnt come with was a dagger.

"i dont see what your issue is. love, do you have any idea how much i missed you? no one would tell me where you were and i was worried sick! now, im here and im trying to make things right and youre just trying to kick me out?" he took one step towards you and that was it for you.

"SAM!"

it took one shout for sam to come in. he had wilbur restrained immediately.

"will, you say we never got divorced. so, i would like to declare this our last conversation as lovers."

he gave a sharp inhale and stared you down as sam dragged him out of the casino.

he couldnt even give two shits about fundy.

this turned out so much longer than necessary. 😭

[redrobin-detective]

The 101 Deaths of Danny Phantom

AO3 link

One of the first things people learned about dealing with ghosts, other than not to try and date them, is to never asks about their death or obsessions. That doesn’t mean the citizens of Amity Park aren’t curious though, especially about their resident ghostly hero and the confusing and concerning comments he sometimes makes.

“Are you okay?” Phantom asked Maisie as she shook and tried to hold back tears after that car had almost slammed into her. She sometimes joked about getting hit crossing the street of her college campus to pay her obnoxious loans but it was another thing entirely to almost experience it herself. Maisie was nearly twenty, she shouldn’t be comforted by someone younger than her little step sister but here she was, shaking like a lead and leaning into Phantom’s comforting, chilly touch. 

“Sorry,” she stuttered, “thank you, I’m sorry I’m just-”

“Hey, it’s okay to be upset that was very scary. The thought of dying is very scary.” Through her adrenaline and her tears, she took in the ghost’s unnatural glow, his faded, barely visible appearance and the fact that he was floating a foot off the ground. Maisie knows this ghost, this boy, knows more than she ever could about death. 

“And getting run over by a car sure is a bad way to go,” the ghost kid chuckled awkwardly, taking his cold hand off her shoulder to scratch at the back of his neck. “You should see how my dad drives or my mom or my sister if she’s running late enough,” Phantom paused in thought. “No one in my family should have a license now that I think about it. Anyway,” he dismissed with a wave. 

“My sister and I were getting ready to head out to school and my dad was backing out of driveway too fast and didn’t see us and uh, luckily I got my sister out of the way in time haha,” Phantom trailed off awkwardly. Was it because of the uncomfortable conversation or because he noticed her dawning horror.

Her best friend ran the community college’s Phan club so Maisie was a member by default. Phantom’s death was sometimes talked about late at night, everything from wrongful murder to a freak accident. She never in her worst nightmares imagined being him being runover in front of his own house by parental ignorance. It was so normal, a quick mistake and a life lost.

“Oh my god,” he said with an adorable little green blush. “Why am I babbling about that? You almost got hit by a car, I’m probably retraumatizing you or something. I should probably go get the jerk who almost hit you,” he said before disappearing into thin air. 

“Tia is not going to believe this,” she whispered to no one. All she knew is that for the rest of her damned life she was going to look both ways when crossing the street. She’d seen first hand what a single moment of reckless driving could cause.

XxX

Matthew, not Matt or Matty or Hughie, Matthew shivered from the cold. He was only in his boxers with little Pacman on them. It had been fine when he’d gone to bed considering it was mid-August but Phantom and this stupid flaming mecha ghost had tussled outside the summer camp he was working at. He could see some of the kids snickering at his state of undress though he was just extremely glad they were alive enough to disrespect him like this.

“Oh man, I’m sorry,” the ghost kid said with big, sad eyes that looked so human despite the fact that they were literally glowing. He looked around at all the snow and ice left over from his fight. “Jeez you guys must be freezing, I wish I could warm you all up but all I can do is make things colder.”

“S’okay,” Matthew said through his chattering teeth. “Teaching the kids how to start a fire was supposed to be next week but we can get a jump on it.” That got a smile out of the ghost and within a half hour, the other counselors were distributing blankets and hot beverages to the kids clustered around multiple fires. They didn’t seem particularly upset by the potentially fatal attack, Matthew will breakdown about that at a later time when he was alone. For now, he just smiled as the children chattered happily with the ghost while he cleaned up as much of the damage as possible.

“So you spend all day fighting ghosts?” Zoe asked with stars in her eyes.

“A lot of the nights too,” Phantom nodded, “I do other stuff but yeah it seems ghost fighting takes up most of my time.”

“Where’d you learn those cool powers?” Zuri asked, miming a punch.

“Comes with being a ghost,” Phantom shrugged, “my ice powers came in later though so I still struggle a bit with them but I’m getting better every day.”

“Why ice though?” Morris said with his cocked curiously to the side. “I see some ghosts use fire or shadows, why do you have ice?”

“Ah that’s a little personal,” Phantom chuckled but his posture was easy despite the invasive question. “Specialty powers like my ice require special circumstances and a certain uh connection to the ghost. Someone like me couldn’t use fire or electricity or plants, ice is in my soul, it’s who I am.”

Matthew paused in drinking his lukewarm coffee as a horrible thought came to mind. He’s been an outdoorsman all his life, practically from the time he could walk. He’d been a deep woods camping guide for a decade before switching to working at summer camps. But the years working in the relative comfort of a stable camp didn’t erase his knowledge of how unforgiving and deadly the woods in the winter could be. A grown man, much less a young teen, would freeze to death in 20 minutes if it was cold enough. 

It made sense for ghosts to develop powers related to their deaths. Had Phantom been one of the dozens of unfortunate kids he read about every year who ran away in the middle of winter only to found later as a frozen corpse. He eyed the boy’s snow white hair and frigid aura he exuded with mournful trepidation. God, what a horrible way to die. 

“I’d get chilly with ice powers,” Tabby said with a shudder, she held out her cup of cocoa. “You want some of my cocoa to warm you up?”

“No thanks,” Phantom said with a soft smile that was warm despite everything. “The cold hasn’t bothered me for a while.”

XxX

Ghost attacks may be the norm but, if there was one good thing that came out of whole mess it was the fact that violent human crimes went down drastically. So when the rare murder did happen, the shock and fear rippled through the whole town. 

Stanford Newton had only been sheriff of Amity Park for eight months after the last guy had gone gray overnight and moved to Florida the next day. It was a daunting position but one he bore proudly. This wouldn’t be his first murder investigation having initially cut his teeth as a beat cop in Chicago but it would be the first in Amity. And it certainly was the first in which the dead served in an active capacity.

“Amanda Chastain, 27. Officially she was a waitress down at Spengler’s Diner but she’s been picked up for prostitution twice in the last year,” Stan said calmly, ignoring the cold, angry presence over his shoulder. “History of polysubstance abuse as well, not that either of those things mean she deserved this.” Used, beaten to death and then dumped in the trash like yesterday’s paper. 

He wondered if she’d come back a ghost or if she’d finally get some peace this world hadn’t offered her. “We don’t have many leads right now, I’m afraid. Acting illegally as they are, there’s not a lot of resources these poor girls have to turn to.”

“I’ll find them,” The Phantom said with blazing conviction, his voice thick and sharp as ice. “I’ll find and bring them to justice and make sure no one else is hurt again.”

“I believe you,” Stan nodded, shutting his notebook as he finally turned to face the teenage superhero haunting his town. He can’t say he liked what he saw. The Phantom looked even less human than usual, his aura flaring and flickering like the foggy mist before a heavy snowstorm. His unnatural green eyes glowered, painting his too young face in a terrifying light. 

The kid looked furious, clearly taking this death to heart. He’d read the Fenton’s memos about obsessions and such but this seemed beyond that. “But don’t hurt anyone to do it, or yourself while you’re at it.”

“I won’t, I’ll make sure they’ll face human justice and don’t worry,” Phantom gave a snarling smile. “No mortal can hurt me, not like this,” he growled causing the hairs on Stan’s arms and neck to stand on end. He flew off after that, presumably to track down Amanda’s killer.

“Not like this,” Stan mumbled to him, pulling out his handkerchief and wiping his brow where a cold sweat had broken out. “Jesus Christ that poor kid.” Stan had seen plenty of murdered and mutilated bodies in his lifetime, some of them even kids. He just never got to talk to them after they’d had their life forcibly snatched away. It would explain the ghost’s near fanatical determination to save others, why he took a stranger’s murder so personally. 

“I hope your own murderer is behind bars,” Stan said as he tucked his handkerchief back into his coat pocket. “Or even six feet under, for killing a good kid like you.” Stan made his way back to his squad car so he could head back to the station and move forward with the official investigation. But he’d eat his hat if there wasn’t a stammering lowlife there by tomorrow ready to turn themselves in.

 Maybe after all this was settled down, he’d delve into some of the cold cases stacked in the cellar. Maybe in there he’ll find a picture of a smiling, carefree teen who’d disappeared and returned with the power now to ensure no one else suffered as he had.

XxX

“Yes, I know about the Phantom,” Luis Oliveira will say to anyone who so much as brings up the ghost kid. Locals know better by now but the tourists eat it up every time. He twists his finely combed mustache and gestures to the floor where his audience is standing. “He died right there oh ten or eleven years ago.”

Luis has worked his way all across the the United States since he emigrated from Brazil in the 70s. He finally settled in Amity Park about twelve years ago. He’d never intended to stay in the small Midwest town but the fatal shooting of a young customer kept his little corner market open.

“He was a nice kid, always said hi to me and paid in exact change. Was big fan of the snacks I made, would stop by after school and take half my inventory. He had big brown eyes and a crooked nose,” Luis would smile at the memory before closing his eyes and frowning sadly. “One day, he came late. His teacher made him stay after to go over a failed test, I remember he complained. He was pulling out his money when robber burst in, demanding my money. I fumbled for the register key, dropped it. I bent down to grab it and I hear shots going off. Two over my head, another right into the boy’s throat.”

Luis will hear the sound of that sweet boy’s guttural choking sounds as he drowned in his own blood until the day he himself died. The robber left after the shot, Luis called the police and held the young man’s hand as he died. The would be thief were never found and Luis never did learn anything about the boy who’d died on his floor for getting hungry after school.

“As soon as I saw Phantom on the TV,” Luis would say, perking up after his moment of somber grief, “I knew it was that boy come back. Those kind eyes, I��d recognize them anywhere. He’s never come here but one day he will and I will be able to pass on my regret on not being able to save his life that day.”

XxX

“I think he killed himself,” Mikey whispered to Lester during lunch period, angling his voice low. “The jocks may love Phantom for his powers but I just know he was one of us, an unwanted nerd. I’ve seen him chatting up a ghost I’m pretty sure is Poindexter, Casper’s suicide kid. They’re probably bonding over their similar deaths and the circumstances that led to it.”

“That’s pretty dark,” Lester whispered back. “I also get unpopular vibes from him but I don’t think he’s the time do uh do that to himself; he’s too stubborn and protective. But I bet he was the victim of a prank gone wrong. Dash locked Fenton in the Janitor’s closet last Wednesday, he got out okay somehow but maybe something like that happened to Phantom. He always looks kind of annoyed at the A-listers, maybe they remind him of old bullies.”

“Nuh-uh,” Clara said, pushing up her glasses with her middle finger. “The ghost kid totally got electrocuted or something. He was fighting that weather ghost and he sent lightning bolts his way and Phantom flinched. He fought the Ghost King and yet a little electricity scares him? It might not’ve even been a lightning strike but something manmade like a machine backfiring or something.”

“Get real,” Mikey scoffed, sipping his milk with an eyeroll. “I’m sure we’d have heard about some poor kid getting zapped to death; this town isn’t that big.”

“We’d have heard about a suicide too,” Lester noted with a wry grin.

“Shut up Mr. I base my theories around Fenton who’s a known weirdo”.

XxX

“I’m telling you, the ghost kid died of some debilitating illness,” Abbie McMillian, retired school teacher and three year reigning champ at the Tristate area’s Daylily Competition. She sipped her tea and spoke with as much confidence as she had back in the day wrangling Amity’s impressionable youths. “The superhero thing is clear wish childhood fulfillment, a chance to live and be free like he never got to in life. You see how happy and carefree that young man looks while flying? Clearly he spent his formative years sick and weak.”

“No way,” Greta von Martin frowned as she aggressively stirred her own tea to show her displeasure. “I worked in a hospital for close to 30 years and I know what chronically sick kids look like and Phantom doesn’t fit the bill. I will agree he’s carefree when he’s not battling spooks but he acts like a stupid teen. I’m telling you, the boy got into his parent’s liquor cabinet or took a few too many of whatever pill was going around his school. Tragic but something that happens every day.”

“Greta, dearie,” Abbie said with a pinched frown. “We’ve been friends since grade school and I love you like a sister but you are wrong and until you admit it, I won’t share anymore of my recipes.”

“You’re just being stubborn because you can’t see what’s right in front of you even after working with kids half of your life, Abbie, love,” Greta sniffed. “And you can kiss my grandson’s help weeding you garden goodbye until you relent.”

XxX

Perhaps one of the most human traits is curiosity, especially about what comes after death. Now the good people of Amity Park know a great deal about the dead so the lives before is what attracts their attention and none so more than the ghost boy. Maybe it’s because he’s their hero or maybe it’s because he’s so young. Or perhaps it’s because Phantom is such a mess of contradictions that it’s very hard to guess how the unfortunate boy met his end. But everyone has their own theories, from the mundane to the fantastic, some with evidence backing them up and others pure poppycock. 

But for all their curiosity, as much as it burns them to know, they’ll never ask. They don’t want to risk the powerful ghost’s wrath but, moreover, it seemed in poor taste. The boy risked his afterlife to keep them safe, they couldn’t ask what traumatic and miserable circumstances had led to this point.

And besides, it was so much more fun to look up at ghostly figure as he sped through the skies and wonder.

[padawanlost]

So I was on Quora the other day, and someone speculated that insecurity was at the root of Anakin's arrogance and apparent cockiness. I thought this through and it makes so much sense. He felt insecure in his place as a Jedi and had this constant need to prove himself. What's your take?

Personally, I’ve never seen Anakin as arrogant. I think he was *perceived* as arrogant by the people around him but, internally, Anakin was also driven by insecurity (not egotism).

Because he was so insecure in a place where he knew he wasn’t accepted as he was, he overcompensated. It’s a very common behavior: I’ll try harder to prove myself. And because he was so powerful, his attempt to prove himself worthy was viewed as an attempt to show off.

The Jedi Council didn’t want me, either. Being the Chosen One didn’t count for anything. Master Yoda wouldn’t train me, or Windu. Every member of the Jedi Council had had something more pressing to do than help him work out what this terrible, galaxy-changing power of his meant, and how he should live in its shadow. He still wasn’t sure. Anakin recalled standing there in that grand, polished Jedi Council Chamber, surrounded by what felt like fear, and disdain, and bewilderment—who were those Masters to feel bewildered, that the only person there who cared if he lived or died was Master Qui-Gon Jinn. And they stopped him training the Chosen One. Qui-Gon hadn’t cared what the Jedi Council said. He’d trained him anyway, a Padawan in all but name. Why am I thinking of all this now? Haven’t I put it behind me? Haven’t I had enough bad memories since then to take their place? Haven’t I vindicated Master Qui-Gon? [Karen Traviss. The Clone Wars]

Anakin enjoyed praise from Obi-Wan, but often became sullen when he was reprimanded. Obi-Wan assured him that he himself had been frequently reminded by Qui-Gon to be more mindful of the Force, but somehow even the slightest criticism managed to leave Anakin feeling stung. First they tell me to do my best, then they tell me I’ve gone too far! ANAKIN SKYWALKER IN THE RISE AND FALL OF DARTH VADER BY RYDER WINDHAM

Because Anakin had not been trained since infancy at the Temple like nearly all other Padawans, various Jedi Masters accepted the fact that he lacked the discipline of his fellow students. They were less accepting, however, of his arrogant behavior when he demonstrated his abilities. I’m more powerful with the Force than some of my instructors, Anakin thought, and they know it! ANAKIN SKYWALKER IN THE RISE AND FALL OF DARTH VADER BY RYDER WINDHAM

Despite Anakin’s desire to distance himself from the slave he had once been, he was unable, or unwilling, to shed the other aspects that had defined him on Tatooine. He still dreamed of glory, still craved adventure, and never lost his appetite for high-speed thrills and the desire to prove himself in competition. THE RISE AND FALL OF DARTH VADER BY RYDER WINDHAM

What evidence to we truly have that Anakin was arrogance beyond people calling him that? And considering most of his peers and superiors didn’t take much time to get to truly know him, I’d say their option can be considered biased:

Anakin was liked by the other students, but he had no close friends. He was not loved. Obi-Wan told himself that Anakin’s gifts naturally set him apart. But in his heart, he grieved for Anakin’s loneliness. JUDE WATSON [JEDI QUEST: THE WAY OF THE APPRENTICE]

Just when Anakin thought he’d passed that elusive finishing line that said adult, experienced, seen it all, he realized he was still twenty, Jedi or not, and the wounded boy in him still rose to the surface—provoked into angry violence, scared of abandonment, and still in need of approval. KAREN TRAVISS [STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS NOVELIZATION]

[Obi-Wan] knew, glancing at his Padawan’s eager face, that Anakin meant well from the bottom of his heart. If Obi-Wan saw a shadow on that heart, he knew it would pain his Padawan to know it. In many ways, Anakin was still a boy. A wounded, loving, anxious boy with great gifts he did not fully understand. Yet he was also a young man, close to maturity, who could do great harm. To others, yes. To himself, most of all JUDE WATSON [JEDI QUEST: THE SCHOOL OF FEAR]

“I just…” Anakin stopped. He took a ragged breath. “I thought you would be proud of me.” I am proud of you. Obi-Wan wanted to say the words. They were true. He was proud of so much in Anakin. But now was not the time to tell him that. Or was it? JUDE WATSON [JEDI QUEST: THE SCHOOL OF FEAR]

Fixing broken machines was like a meditation. Fixing broken machines was an antidote to every pain, every loss, every fear, every defeat. Fixing broken machines kept him from going mad. CLONE WARS GAMBIT: STEALTH

This doesn’t sound like some who thinks that highly of himself.

 “Master…,” he said hesitantly, “I know I’ve… disappointed you in these past few days. I have been arrogant. I have… not been very appreciative of your training, and what’s worse, of your friendship. I offer no excuse, Master. My frustration with the Council… I know that none of it is your fault, and I apologize. For all of it. Your friendship means everything to me.”

Interestingly enough, Obi-wan says it best:

You are very observant, Ferus, but you must accept that I know him better than you,” Obi-Wan said carefully. “Anakin can be arrogant. I know that. But he is also learning and growing. He is respectful of his great power. He does not abuse it. He is younger than you, but he has seen much injustice, many terrible things. I do not think it so wrong that he wants to change things. You must understand that it isn’t ambition that drives him. It is compassion. OBI-WAN KENOBI IN STAR WARS – JEDI QUEST: THE CHANGING OF THE GUARD BY JUDE WATSON

Yes. Anakin can act arrogantly. We all can. It’s part of being human and flawed. but that doesn’t mean that was ALL Anakin was. More often than not, Anakin was motivated by fear, love, kindess and, yes, even hate.

Taking them, she looked up at him and shook her head, even though it still ached. “It’s odd. You’re nothing like I expected.” “Why?” he said, perching on the edge of the nearby chair. “What did you expect?” “I don’t know,” she said, floundering. “I can’t say I’ve ever given the Jedi much thought. I mean, not as individuals. I never expected to meet one—let alone two. I don’t tend to go places where your skills are needed. But—well—you’re gentle.” That made him smile. “As opposed to what?” She swallowed the pain-tabs, washing them down with a mouthful of water. “Oh. You know. The HoloNet news—it portrays as you as this—this—heroic warrior. Larger than life. Charging into battle, lightsaber flashing. Scourge of the Separatists. That kind of thing.” She shrugged. [Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

Because of Hayden’s Anakin being do disliked and, of course, because of the TCW wonky characterization everyday we are seeing more and more people embracing the idea of arrogant idiot Anakin. even if such characterization is not supported by the movies, the lore and basic common sense.

People use Obi-wan’s words in AOTC against Anakin but the truth is, as shown above, Obi-wan himself later recognizes that Anakin is not arrogant (even if he sometimes act that away). Besides, using AOTC to show Anakin’s arrogance doesn’t make much sense because of Hayden’s acting. Anakin doesn’t act like some arrogant prick for most of the movie. if anything, AOTC is a great of example of Anakin’s submissive and insecure behavior.

At last, let’s not forget that the same people calling Anakin arrogant were also facing the same criticism:

“But he still has much to learn, Master,” Obi-Wan explained. “His skills have made him … well, arrogant.” “Yes, yes,” Yoda agreed. “It’s a flaw more and more common among Jedi. Too sure of themselves, they are. Even the older, more experienced Jedi.” [R.A. Salvatore. Attack of the Clones]

People seem to forget that Anakin was in his early 20s when he ‘died’. Show me a teenager or a young adult who’ve never acted arrogantly and i’ll show you a liar. So why is Anakin the only one getting shit for that?

So, yeah, i agree. Anakin wasn’t motivated by arrogance. He was motivated by fear and insecurity, byproducts of his childhood trauma and years of grooming and emotional neglect.