#making it my toxic trait that regardless of what reference i use i WILL include eddies hair swoop

[melancholyghoul]

I wanna bite him 😈

Bonus (Buck and I biting him):

[npdbubblygum]

Hi there, as a lot of people have seen there is a cluster fuck of a post in the npd tag about.. idek how to summarize it except glorifying empathy and villainizing personality disorders. They use narcissist, psychopath, abuser, and lots of degrading words interchangeably so be prepared for that. I won’t @ the person, partially because I don’t want to deal with the headache of them replying and partially because I don’t want to be responsible if they get harassed. They’re in the tag though publicly saying this so you could stumble upon it yourself, be careful and don’t read if it’ll hurt you! Tagged as #long post

It was so long so I decided to pick out the most relevant parts and comment on them.

People who know they have NPD don’t seem to go around calling people “unaware narcissists” as we know it’s difficult to notice and diagnose and increases stigma to do so. That’s something self proclaimed empaths do a lot though. Also, are you in this statement admitting that empaths can come across as self centred and “narcissistic” if people don’t understand what’s happening in their brain?

Personally I don’t feel any hatred for hyperempathetic people, that’s just a neutral trait some people have.

You can’t really say something is the opposite of a whole personality disorder that has several different diagnostic criteria and presents differently in different individuals. Brains aren’t black and white and antisocial PD isn’t only lack of empathy. The word for not being antisocial is prosocial what I know?

People can have compassion without empathy and people can lack compassion while having empathy, and it’s okay to not be loving as long as you aren’t harming people.

You shouldn’t passive aggressively say sorry to us in the same sentence you’re insulting us as “number out husks” and then go on to talk about how weak and cowardly we are. A lot of us had our empathy weaponized against us from such an early age that we had to turn it off to survive. If you value empathy so much, why aren’t you empathizing with that? I don’t really feel anything about it, it’s just a fact, but it’s also a fact that we shouldn’t have had to suffer through so much pain and then be blamed for how our brains developed. Also, if someone was born without empathy or had a traumatic head injury that impacted it they obviously didn’t choose that either. People who can feel a lot of empathy are also often scared of love and people without empathy can hate violence and conflict and have people they value enough to sacrifice themselves.

First of all, people in power are corrupt and become corrupt and are not the same as inventors or philosophers or any other great contributor, secondly those are exceptional people who stand out in history and didn’t have any access to therapy or self help or medication or anything else that helps mentally ill people function and cope. You can’t even go back in time and confirm who feels what level of empathy. People without empathy can also value peace, human lives, safety, etc. I constantly help caring for friends and community regardless of how little I feel about them. I don’t have to feel empathy, sympathy or compassion to do what is right, I can simply choose it, I can hate someone and devalue them and still choose to do what’s best for them.

The concept of empathy isn’t attacked we’re literally just saying we can exist without it and still be worthy human beings and people with empathy can be flawed and selfish still. We literally just want nuance and acceptance so people will have access to help.

Okay who thinks we’re actually out to destroy empathy? Maybe fascists are but come on. In the npd tag? You go into the npd tag thinking we have some kind of agenda to Destroy Empathy? People in society value empathy so much that calling someone empathetic is considered a huge compliment and calling someone unempathetic is an insult.

Fun fact! That’s how a lot of us were made! People literally broke our child-brains by using our empathy as a weapon against us and it was so overwhelming and terrible we couldn’t handle it :^) but yeah call abuse victims weak and pathetic that’s great love that for you

Also, a lot of us have really strong emotions that are incredibly overwhelming, not just a “dried up stream” lol

You talk about empaths needing a shield. Our “shield” was Not Having It.

Still unsure if you mean people with NPD or abusers or abusers with NPD but while there probably exists some people who go out with the intention to cause harm, most narcissists don’t and even most abusers work differently than that, they have a set of beliefs that they think justifies their harm it’s not really “oh how fun to destroy people” in a lot of cases. Of course it is unjustifiable though. I’ve read that abusive people seek out more empathetic people because they’re easier to convince that they can deserve it and often have qualities an abuser values, like a willingness to give more chances and staying quiet about mistreatment because they’d feel guilty or being guilt tripped easily. It’s often more about control than sadism, but sometimes it is sadism. Unempathetic people can also be abused and deserve to have resources.

Intelligence is actually not very easy to define and measure and intellectually disabled people should absolutely be included in that conversation and should absolutely not be called mindless, the mind is way more than the typical definition of intelligence. Heart doesn’t have a set definition and is even more loose than intelligence but if someone doesn’t experience the same types of emotions as me I’d still think they should be able to speak their minds about it.

Oh my god no one is denying the existence of empathy?? It is a well known concept, people study it, people who say they don’t feel it are admitting it exists because that’s what makes them different.

There are so many things to say here.. first of all are you equating npd to abuser again?

Secondly, this is a really toxic mindset. You don’t have to suffer through incredible emotional/psychological pain to be strong. You don’t have to be strong. You don’t have to “bear the burden”. If you’re in a situation that is bad for you, please do what you can to leave! You aren’t better or worse for not being able to handle the pain, you shouldn’t have to be in pain.

Thirdly, what do you think a narcissistic injury or crash is? It’s exactly that. Our sense of self and self worth crumbling when our defence mechanism doesn’t work. It’s not funny. It’s awful to go through. We do not have life on easy mode, life is a fucking nightmare, people with npd often have suicide attempts. How can you say any of this while claiming to empathize with people?

People with facial disfigurements have told me that disfigured is the word they want to be called, not deformed. Also, you shouldn’t vilify disfigurement like that, it’s not a bad thing and it’s ableist to use it to insult and to equate it with being an abusive person or having a mental illness. Also calling people monkeys is dehumanizing too. Don’t think you can get away with that.

You are actually correct about empathetic not being the real word - empathic is actually standard English. Not because -pathetic means you’re weak but because -pathic means suffering/experiencing/feeling/being moved by and -pathetic means means being able to move someone else. You’re being super fucking weird about it though.

Your pop culture references weren’t that accurate or relevant and you shouldn’t rely on made up stories to support your point when you’re talking about real psychology. So I won’t include them. I saw some other people already told you they were wrong.

Hopefully no one agrees with any of the shit you wrote it was a pain to make this post but it was eating at me when I tried to leave it alone so here you have it

[oumakokichi]

What's your opinion on Kaito and Maki! I don't know if anyone's ever asked this before (sorry if yes) Ur blog is epic btw!

This question is pretty recent, so I feel like this is a great one to kick off with getting back into writing full meta! I know in the past I’ve answered a few brief questions on how I feel about Momota and Maki respectively, as well as their relationship in-game, but I don’t know if I’ve ever written at length about the two of them.

I also don’t know whether you want my opinions on them both as individual characters or their relationship together, so I’ll probably touch on both aspects! This ask will obviously include spoilers for the whole game, so I’ll talk more under the cut!

Momota and Maki are definitely two of the most important characters in the game. Both their dynamic with each other, as well as their eventual friendship with Saihara, are pivotal plot points that come up again and again. Momota’s good intentions and attempts to help Maki come out of her shell and self-imposed isolation from everyone else are initially met by her with skepticism, distrust, and a feeling that he’s being incredibly overbearing and putting his nose where it doesn’t belong—but in the end, she does find herself pulled in by his unrelenting optimism and offers of friendship.

As Momota helps Saihara begin to overcome his anxiety and self-doubt by pushing him forward and reaffirming that he believes in him, Maki also begins to face some of her own demons. Like Saihara, her issues are rooted in deep-seated trauma from a young age, though hers is considerably more severe as it concerns both physical and mental child abuse, as well as a life filled with violence and murder.

It’s interesting, because both Saihara and Maki struggle with what I would call self-loathing, but go about showing it in completely different ways. They both doubt their own ability to do anything right and feel that they’ll only hurt people in the end, but where Saihara overcompensates for this by trying to please everyone and being afraid of saying no, Maki’s approach is much firmer: she tries to shut everyone out completely, keeping everyone at arm’s bay in order to prevent any attachments from forming in the first place. As someone who lost pretty much everything at such a young age, she’s clearly afraid of the same thing happening all over again, as well as wary of anyone who might try to get close to her, only to attempt to “take her out” in the same fashion that she’s had to kill people her entire life.

Momota’s persistence in striking up a friendship with her is therefore really, really interesting. It’s the first time in Maki’s life that anyone has ever been so adamant about wanting to get to know her. Considering how harsh and unfriendly she initially is, as well as the fact that her talent is revealed to everyone by the end of chapter 2, it would make complete sense if Momota wanted nothing to do with her, in her opinion. She’s used to being alone, and she’s already convinced herself by that point that it’s preferable to the alternative.

But Momota is a character who fundamentally refuses to take no for an answer. This is simultaneously both his best and worst trait, in my opinion: it’s literally right in his catch phrase, whenever he claims that he’s going to reach the stars someday. He runs purely on the idea of faith and belief. There’s no middle ground with him: either you trust someone implicitly, regardless of everything stacked against them, or you don’t. Shades of grey, especially at the beginning of the game, are virtually nil. It’s a very “shounen protagonist” sentiment that winds up being somewhat challenged for him as the game goes on.

He’s interested in Maki, and wants to know why she closes herself off in her research lab. When the finger is pointed at her in chapter 2 and she falls under suspicion of murdering Hoshi, he defends her even at the expense of making himself look worse, and even to the point of claiming that he would “bet everyone else’s lives” that she’s innocent (a line which was completely omitted in the localization and dub, but which you can still hear him say in the jp dialogue of the chapter 2 trial).

There’s absolutely no evidence to back Maki up or support her; Momota’s defense on her behalf stems more from the fact that he hates Ouma’s equally black-or-white “guilty until proven innocent” approach, and resents the attempts at mutual suspicion and paranoia that Ouma tries to force between them. Momota is, in a word, stubborn. He figures things out by “feel” or “intuition” and is extremely slow to change his opinions even when facts and evidence are presented before him.

Again, this can be a good trait: his loyalty means he’s the last person who would ever throw someone else under the bus, and it’s the main reason he succeeds in getting closer to someone as emotionally closed-off as Maki at all. It’s less of a good thing, however, in later chapters like chapter 4, where his stubborn refusal to look at the facts genuinely endangers everyone’s lives in the trial and results in a huge blow-out that threatens his friend group with Saihara especially, but really with the whole training trio.

It’s this stubbornness of his that really baffles Maki. Initially, she doesn’t know what to make of Momota’s attempts to befriend her. She assumes he must be reckless, or stupid, or both, to want to get close to someone as dangerous as she is. But as she gradually begins to let her walls down and starts opening up despite herself, it’s such a nice change to see her eventually starting to believe in herself and view herself more positively as a result of Momota’s own belief in her.

I think momoharu as a ship works really well and has potential specifically because of these themes of “self-love” and “believing in yourself” that come up in the main game’s narrative again and again. And unlike the dynamics between Momota and other characters, such as Saihara, I feel like Momota and Maki are on much more of an even footing, where the two of them can view each other as equals and aren’t afraid to challenge each other whenever one of them is in the wrong about something.

For example, Saihara and Momota have much more of an imbalanced, sometimes one-sided friendship. That’s not to say that they aren’t both extremely important friends to one another—but between Saihara’s inability to say no to people and Momota’s tendency to take charge and view himself as “the hero” while everyone else is his “sidekick,” their relationship becomes incredibly uneven very quickly.

Add to this Momota’s unspoken jealousy of Saihara’s talent and his pivotal importance to the rest of the group in trials, and it gets even messier. I’m reminded of the chapter 4 trial, when Saihara really goes against Momota’s opinion on something for the first time by proving that Gonta is the culprit, and Momota is livid. Even when all the proof is laid out before him, and even when he knows, logically, he feels so betrayed by Saihara’s lack of “belief” in him that his underlying jealousy bubbles up and he lashes out. The localization considerably dulled the impact of this, but in the original Japanese dialogue, Momota even stops referring to Saihara by his first name for a long time, referring to him much more coldly by his surname from the end of chapter 4 until the latter half of chapter 5.

Momota and Saihara never feel as though they’ve really escaped that “hero and sidekick” dynamic until the very end of chapter 5 when they say their farewells, and even then there’s a real hesitance with Saihara to call Momota out when he’s wrong or ask for an apology even when Momota owes him one. If the game had explored more of Momota’s jealousy and feelings of inadequacy compared to Saihara, I would have really loved that, and I feel like there would be real potential to explore how they could eventually be on even footing… but as it stands, in canon we don’t really get that, and most of Momota’s shortcomings and flaws are somewhat brushed aside after his death in favor of Saihara remembering him more fondly.

This isn’t to say that Momota doesn’t have any flaws when it comes to how he interacts with Maki, of course. His character has a lot of “toxic masculinity” baggage, including unironically believing really outdated things like “women shouldn’t be fighting, they should be raising children,” or thinking that women are inherently weaker physically and more fragile emotionally than men. Luckily though, Maki often consistently proves him wrong on all of these points: her ability to wipe the floor with him during their training sessions is of course part of it, but it’s worth noting that she’s also considerably more level-headed than Momota is in many ways.

Where Momota is superstitious and afraid of the occult to a comedic degree, Maki remains the rational, down-to-earth one who doesn’t believe in such things. Where Momota is prone to letting his pride and temper get the better of him and refuses to speak to Saihara or apologize for the things he said during their fight in chapter 4, Maki is the one who attempts to push them into interacting with each other again, and believes that Momota is being much too childish about the whole ordeal. Again and again, Maki proves Momota’s outdated and harmful stereotypes about women wrong, and isn’t afraid to poke fun at him or get exasperated with his bullshit whenever he’s being kind of a dick.

Her relationship with Momota works specifically because of how much it feels like the two of them are on a more even footing. Where Saihara somewhat meekly accepts the “sidekick” role, even when he thinks it’s unfair, Maki doesn’t really accept it or go along with it in the first place, beyond showing up for training sessions. And when she gradually begins to develop romantic feelings for him, it feels authentic—particularly because it ties back into the idea of Maki learning to believe in herself the same way that Momota has believed in her from the start.

Deep down, Maki is someone who fundamentally believes herself not only undeserving of, but borderline incapable of love. She feels as though any human emotions she might have once had were stomped out of her from a young age and that absolutely nothing remains, to the point where she says “even Kiibo is more human than she is.” This self-loathing and dehumanization are the main reasons she keeps people at arm’s length: she simply thinks she doesn’t deserve any kindness, and that even if it’s given to her, she doesn’t know how to reciprocate in turn.

Her entire character arc is about unlearning this, and gradually coming to accept that she does have the capacity to love, including love for herself and for others. I’ve seen some people who believe Tsumugi when she claims in the chapter 6 trial that she “gave Maki those feelings for Momota” for the sake of the show, but I feel that believing that at face value really doesn’t do justice to Maki’s autonomy as a character.

Even if Tsumugi somehow did insert those feelings there (which I highly doubt, especially considering how she blatantly lies about giving Momota his illness too despite pretty obviously not knowing he was sick prior to chapter 5), the whole point of Maki’s confession to Momota in chapter 5 and reaffirmation of those feelings in chapter 6 is that she eventually comes to believe that they’re her feelings, and no one else’s. As someone who was denied any free will or choice for her entire life, her coming to view Momota as someone precious to her, as well as herself as an individual capable of making decisions and loving other people, is an incredibly powerful arc of character growth. I honestly really love to see it.

And it’s clear that Maki coming to love and value herself as an individual is exactly what Momota wanted to see from her. We don’t really know if he reciprocated her romantic feelings or not since he dies without really giving her an answer. I personally think he spared her an answer because even if he had said he reciprocated, it only would’ve hurt her worse to see him die immediately afterward.

But what he does make really clear is that he fully believes that because she could come to love him, she could also eventually come to love herself. Whether it’s romantic or not, he clearly cherishes her a lot as a person and wants her to be happy. He wants her to live on as herself, and not any of the roles she’s had to take thus far in order to survive. She eventually does do this, and I think he would’ve been absolutely thrilled to see it happen.

All in all, I feel like momoharu has a lot of potential for character growth (both for Maki and Momota), as well as for cute moments, comic relief, and all around as a feel-good ship. Momota definitely has some issues to work out with misogyny and toxic masculinity, and while it’s certainly not Maki’s job to hold his hand and walk him through those things, she’s the type of person who doesn’t mind putting her foot down and telling him no when she feels like he’s crossed a line, which is exactly the type of dynamic I like to see in relationships.

Anyway, I’ll wind this up here. This was a really fun question to go into, thank you again anon! I had a lot of fun getting back into the swing of writing meta, and I’m glad I got a chance to write a little more about my thoughts on momoharu, and Momota and Maki as characters.

[arcadianmoonshadowjedi]

Cass Season 3 Analysis (And Criticism)

I’ve previously done an analysis post on what I thought about Cass’s S1 arc and ideally would’ve done a season 2 analysis post (my personal favorite Cass arc in the whole show) but since my thoughts on S3 are on my mind atm, thought I’d dump them here.

Note: If you would prefer not to see any criticism on season’s 3′s writing, I’d suggest you don’t further read.

DISCLAIMER: This is NOT a hate post as Cass is one of my favorite characters (Discussion is welcome but would really appreciate that my criticism isn’t used as a fuel for hatred against the character). Thanks!

I’ll start with the Gothel reveal. Personally my feelings towards it initially were very mixed, perhaps because I was never to interested in it when it was still a theory and thought it was a coincidence that Cass physically resembled Gothel. A part of me felt that the Gothel twist was too cliche, generic and it failed to wow me. I was basically like “Oh! So... this is the direction they’re going with? Ok... lemme see where this is going...” Then another part of me was like Cass dealt with a lot of issues of feeling like she’s not good enough, not taken seriously, or that she was outshined by Rapunzel since S1, so maybe the Gothel reveal was just the last straw that pushed her into villainy but not necessarily her primary motive (Or at least I wanted to believe that).

Basically we didn’t see too much of Cass in the first half of S3 aka the fillers, except her being pushed more and more into villainy by Zhan Tiri in the last few minutes of the episodes. I personally thought that the manipulative aspect was really cool! (Reminded me a lot of Anakin and Palpatine vibes from Star Wars, which is also a franchise I dearly love).

Then of course we approach the Cassandra’s Revenge, also my personal favorite episode of the season, where now Cass is full-on villain, no question, no doubts. Honestly Eden nailed the VA and Cass was totally owning and rocking her villainy! I loved that continued to rock her villainy into Race to the Spire too!

And now the negativity starts. A Tale of Two Sisters.... In all honesty I was enjoying the episode until I got to the ending, and then I finished off the episode feeling so disgusted. I personally wasn’t fond of the whole Gothel loving Cass or not “mystery” because the answer was pretty obvious. It just felt so weird that Cass knew of Gothel’s abuse towards her and Rapunzel and saw with her own eyes that Gothel deliberately abandoned her as a child, but was still convinced that Gothel “loved” her, like seriously?! And I’m not even gonna go into how much I hated the ending because it’s way too obvious.

Once A Handmaiden, very unfortunately, is my very least episode of the season. Like it had some good moments in it but all in all I hate so many aspects of it. First we start with Cass walking out and smiling and then she finds the missing mirror shard. Mystery solved. Cass now realizes Gothel never loved her and then finds out that her “friend” is Zhan Tiri and she runs off. Now she’s good and needs to “make amends” Rapunzel. My biggest problem with this episode treated the problem as if Cass and Raps got into a small fight and need to make up. But this is waaaaay bigger than that. Cassandra had done awful things including murder attempts, kidnapping, and threatening war against Corona. She needed to do more than seek Rapunzel’s forgiveness, she needed to clean up the mess she’s made, especially ZT getting released and all. She needed to accept accountability for her actions, regardless of what the consequences were. She gets incased in the amber, boom! Now she’s full on villain again because she’s angry about a weapon made for self-defense purposes that she had led to. Of course the number one scene I hated in this episode was the Gothel quote (my least favorite movie reference of all time and my least favorite Cass scene in the entire series). She destroys all of Corona and forces everyone to flee.

Last but not least, her “redemption” in Plus Est En Vous. As someone who completely adores Cass, I wanted to see her being given the best possible redemption that she deserved to have written for her. But unfortunately, in this episode, we see her being full villain and was gladly stripping Rapunzel of the sundrop only for Zhan Tiri to overpower her. As @zhantiri mentioned (And completely read my mind lol), she didn’t redeem herself because she saw the wrong in her actions, but rather because she was overpowered by a bigger villain. Questions I’ve always had since the finale were “What if she got the power of the sundrop too and survived? Would she have been redeemable then? What would she have done with that power?” See the problem is that to me, her redemption didn’t feel sincere or as impactful as it should have been. Like sure I cried when she cried but primarily because Eden nailed the VA, but idk.

So my here are my overall criticisms of her villainy:

1) A lot of things in her villain arc felt so OOC, like the fact that she instantly trusted a random ghost child she met in the House of Yesterday’s and follows her around for months not questioning who she is, even after the midseason when she was in her corporeal form. Like since when was Cass so quick to trust anyone? In the past 2 seasons, we all saw how Cass took time to trust Eugene, Lance, and Adira, and how she was so skeptical of new places. I will just never understand how she instantly trusted a ghost child over her closest friends whom she’s known for about 2 years...

2) Building off of her being OOC, I absolutely despised how she was being turned into Gothel 2.0 rather than being her own character! She was so well set up the last two seasons and now is being forcefully turned into Gothel, because ya know “Like mother like daughter right”? My biggest problem with this is that Cass in the past 2 seasons is hardly anything like Gothel in character. Like sure she does have flaws and certain toxic traits, but she was way too hotheaded and insecure compared to Gothel. And the cloak in To2S, sure it looked cool but was so stupid and unnecessary. And I’m not gonna go into the other details to avoid being further infuriated. I know there’s controversies over the movie reference in Plus Est En Vous but here are my honest thoughts. The problem with Cass’s death scene was not only do we have absolutely no idea why she died but it was for the sake of tossing in a movie reference. It basically took Eugene’s iconic sacrifice scene from the movie and handed it to Cass, which I felt was incredibly unfair to both characters. It was Eugene’s special scene which should’ve been his and his alone. Cass deserved to be given her own special scenes instead of being given Gothel and Eugene’s scenes. I personally felt that she was being robbed and it was as if she couldn’t be great as her own character and needs to be handed other characters’ special scene in order to be so.

3) The motive, regardless of whether the Gothel twist was used or not, there needed to be strong and clear motive as to why she would make the complete change to villainy. And getting revenge against Rapunzel because she victim-blamed her for being left by Gothel is not a motive! There were several other aspects of her character that could’ve been focused on that would’ve worked waaay better and could’ve been more been more legitimate reasons for her to become a villain, otherwise it was just entirely forced.

4) Last but not least... the lack of consistency with her villain arc in the last few episodes was so irritating to watch! I personally think she needed a proper redemption arc during the last few episodes were she was seeing the wrong in her actions and worked to correct her mess rather than waffling back and forth between redemption and villainy only to become more evil than before! Her villain arc became waaaay too sloppy and it overstayed it welcome till the finale to the point where it was no longer enjoyable to watch.

All in all, Cass’s villain arc is not my only problem with season 3 nor is it my biggest one. But still, I really wanted to like it. Sure there were some great aspects about it but unfortunately it was mostly badly written and sloppily handled, showing that there was no solid or proper planning for it. As for the Gothel twist, my feelings about it became more negative because of how it was handled and I really wished they could’ve come up with something else to push her into villainy. For me, this was actually quite painful and sad because Cass grew to be my favorite series exclusive character and my favorite along with Rapunzel and Eugene because I loved how she was written in the first two seasons, but I feel like season 3 did her pretty dirty.

Update!: I added the link to my Cass S1 analysis at the top but didnt't know why it's not showing so Imma attach it here!

[mmagazinemoment]

Why my past loves make me want to look into nihilism as a lifestyle.

Good morning, midday, afternoon, or evening to you my fellow queers and allies and plain and simply gorgeous humans. You see I have already written another version of this edition but instead I have a pure heroine filled piece instead, and you may not be ready for it because it covers a few serious points but it’s also the (fuck your ex) vibe, not literally…unlesssssss * insert meme*. Thanks for joining me again my loves

 Why my past loves make me want to look into nihilism as a lifestyle

You ever just meet someone and fall completely into their arms and become almost a complete and utter 3rd leg of the other? What I mean in all seriousness is, don’t you ever feel like the love game grows on you like a drug addiction and I know some of you will see this and be thinking? What do you mean “the love game” I know it’s not a game, a figure of speech as such. Basically, what I’m trying to say is have you ever loved someone so much that you didn’t see the signs of detrimental dysfunction.

Wow that all sounds so serious, let me dial it down a little, I’m just trying this new thing called being uncensored and not caring about preconceived notions of myself from external eyes. Months ago, I was shattered into a million pieces and I won’t blame just him because it was my fault for thinking every relationship or whatever it was, was going to end up like a tv romance, no that’s a lie. I over invested and blamed him for hurting my own self, sure he had something to do with it, but he wasn’t just to blame. Can’t tell me I don’t know how to take accountability (wow I’m funny).

For instance, in a movie you meet and lock eyes with someone and the breeze grasps your hair, when I met said person, I was like ‘omg he’s tall, I’m going to fall in love with a giraffe’ and then I tried to build a home in him, without the investment and time taken to be careful with my time and words of affirmation in efforts to receive reciprocation I never got unless it was backhanded or what I wanted to hear. So how did you perceive your first love? Did he/she/they look pleasing? Or was it the scent of their perfume or cologne? Did they dress in a floral vintage outfit or was it a suit and tie? Ballet flats or sneakers? Tell me? I want to know all of the juicy details!

I know some of you probably didn’t ask or ever want to know but my first love happened in a series of me closing doors journeying through my uneasy sexuality labelling and let’s be real, fuck labels am I right? (unless you find comfortability and closure under a label and with that you’re perfectly valid), Love to me was like heroine and in some senses it still is. When I first learnt of love, it didn’t feel like love, it felt like obligation, perhaps a trend. Love felt like learning all he moves to a Tik Tok dance as fast as possible before the hype disappeared, and it became irrelevant again, questionable reference point but blame social media not me. I was never satisfied.

Keep in mind this was 15-year-old me, trying to gain some sense of validation to seem a little less repressed and not confused because before 15 year old me realised that 12 year old me wasn’t as weird as I thought.  I was under this veil of non-transparency and speaking on the subject of transparency I must tell you 12 was the year of age I realised that I wasn’t like the other boys at school, just swooning for girls and getting scared of cooties, I was just begging to be seen by whoever had eyes to care. Sounds dramatic I know.

Nobody was ever there to tell me at such a young age that there were others like me, “different”, the type of boy who watched rebel without a cause and felt weird when James Dean was looking so gorgeous and composed in that leather jacket or admiring Tim Curry when he dressed like no man I’d ever seen on a movie screen in or even real life in the Rocky Horror Show, something sparked in… me. I started on the smallest step I knew, acknowledgement, I knew I could find a home in the fact that there were more people like me, and wow I was right. I was finding comfort in what I knew, I found a few gorgeous women and obviously because of my age we thought that holding hands and a peck on the cheek was all we needed in life from the label of ‘relationship’, but it was only ever a weekly process. Anytime I found ‘love’ I wouldn’t know what to do with it without the chase, like a dog chasing a bone. Even to this day I have never had a successfully long relationship but at least these days it’s not because of my toxic traits, I like to think I’ve grown a considerate amount since I was 15. Don’t get me wrong, neither of those experiences were love? How could they be?

Ironically love happened even ‘after’ I was in a relationship. I had another relationship when I was 17, it lasted a little longer than the prior, it went for a month and a half, I was convinced I loved her, so sappy but you wanted transparency right? I have a lot of it. After that, my ex brought to attention after she cheated on me that I was using her as a sort of beard to cover up the truth about myself, I never knew how to perceive myself until then and that was only the second step, there was so much more to cover.

Skip forward past a few experiences leading up the near current, I met someone, a sort of fleeting romance, now (forewarning, this gets sappy) we talked for a few weeks if my memory isn’t hazy, and we quickly developed something no short of a connection. FaceTime after FaceTime I’d gather more and more pictures of his goofy face and at one stage, I thought I was going to be happy for the foreseeable future, then came reality. You can’t be loved by someone who doesn’t want to face themselves and you can’t help them anymore than what you’re capable of giving out. I didn’t listen to that, naturally things just got worse, and I hated everything…

He would apologise, I would validate his actions to friends who were concerned and realising that I was getting too soon attached and it wasn’t going to end well and I copped the consequences, I still have only recently not found regret in messing up this badly because if I didn’t make that mistake then I would’ve just witnessed those mistakes I made in the lap of somebody else and this is where the saying goes, better the devil you known then the devil you don’t. let me tell you it did more than a number on my mental health before I added up the reasons as tallies against us and internalised what I should’ve subtracted (hehe see what I did there). In all seriousness I wanted the thrill, I sure as hell got one.

Your mental health is amplified by your lifestyle choices and the people you choose to keep in your circle, friendship, or relationships regardless, the whole thing was out of whack and a tornado was nothing less than the accurate definition of where I was at, and it hurt a lot but sometimes it’s best to leave that situation if that person who you thought was going to be there for a while and a necessity to your life ends up being the detriment. (as Ashley Frangipane said) “its crazy when the thing you love the most is the detriment, let that sink in”.  

 If there is one piece of advice that I want whoever sees this to take with them it’s this, Keep your space sacred baby, you only have one life, but also please do not criticize yourself for getting caught in the motion sickness, sometimes you just can’t avoid it and that’s ok. Life is not a movie, life is more like the behind the scenes extra that puts everything into perspective, it’s rational and shows the hard work put in place to make the art and you should remind yourself as such. Remember also that if you cannot cope with all of the stress that presents itself in your life, that there are people that are equipped to help you hold some of the baggage for you until you are ready to take it back and analyse it. Whatever your grief is, I assure you, you’re not alone.

As always, stay healthy and strut your shit and I cannot stress this enough but keep raging against the machine and the super straights xoxo without the gossip girl, farewell until the next piece of The Mantra Magazine. *keep this in mind* next issue will be a little forward, it will include themes of segregation and war regarding the families of the Palestinians and Israeli conflicts happening right now. So, bring some tissues and an open mind. Farewell.

[f107group2]

Time to Flex these Mussels

They say we are what we eat. Bodybuilders must've eaten a lot of mussels then.

Classification

Kingdom: Animalia  

    Subkingdom: Bilateria  

        Infrakingdom: Protostomia  

          Superphylum: Lophozoa  

              Phylum: Mollusca   

                Class: Bivalvia                   

                   Subclass: Pteriomorphia 

                      Order: Mytiloida  

                          Family: Mytilidae  

                            Genus: Mytilus  

                                Species: Mytilus edulis (Linnaeus, 1758) – edible blue mussel, blue mussel (ITIS 2020)

Hanging out with the English

Photo by Guillermo D’Elia (2016)

Just chillin in the northern part of the globe, the Mytilus edulis occurs in the northeast and northwest of the Atlantic Ocean, mostly in Scotland and the British Isles in high intertidal and subtidal zones from estuaries to oceanic waters (CABI 2020; FAO 2020).

Open Sesame: Unraveling the Insides

Photo by DesignPics 

Photo by Rainer Zenz

The main parts of the mussel are its shell and its foot. The shell has 3 layers namely: nacre (mother of pearl) which is continuously secreted by the mantle, prismatic layer, and periostracum which protects the prismatic layer from abrasion. The blue mussel’s shell color is blue, usually purple, and sometimes brown. Its shell is smooth and equivalve (valves of equal shape and size) with concentric lines starting from the hinge. Its hinge line has no teeth but it has 3-12 crenulations under the umbones (Oli 2016).

Photo from: Eggermont et al

Internally, its intestine is continuous to the anus where waste is excreted from the excurrent siphon. It has 2 pairs of gills, each pair resides on each shell valve. Other internal organs include the hepatopancreas, kidney, gonad, and a 2-chambered heart. Its nervous system consists of ganglia or nerve centers because it has no brain or head in their body. Its foot is protruded outside the shell for locomotion and anchoring to substrates (Oli 2016). 

Check out the video below to further know about its anatomy.

Hold On Tahong!

Wonder how mussels are able to anchor themselves?

Interestingly, in the foot of mussels are byssal glands that produce byssal threads. These threads are strong and silky fibers made from proteins and are responsible for anchoring the organism to a substrate. With this, the industrial and medical areas have studied this “glue” which offered on how to create artificial tendons (Kenedy 2019).

Life (and Production Cycle)

Photo from: Science Learning Hub (top), FAO (bottom) 

A bed, not the type you’d sleep on, but reproduction can still happen 👀

As adults, blue mussels are typically found in dense mussel beds. They are broadcast spawners meaning that both have a separate male and female sex and they cast their gametes (sperm and eggs) into the water at the same time and fertilization takes place in the environment. See this video below in which a blue mussel releases its sperm in the water.

The larvae then undergo a series of metamorphosis from planktonic trochophore to veliger until such time it attaches to algae and after some time, joins other mussels.

Since this species is capable of being cultured, instead of settlement on filamentous algae in the wild, they are attached to the ropes and bamboo rafts for the initial settlement during aquaculture and they no longer need a secondary settlement because they are already with other mussels. 

Photo from: GNS Science 

Ecology

If a blue mussels were to submit a resume, it will surely get accepted. Why? They are very versatile!

Blue mussels are capable of withstanding wide fluctuations in salinity, desiccation, temperature, and oxygen tension (FAO 2020). These abilities enable it to occupy a variety of microhabitats and expand its zonation range from high intertidal to subtidal regions, from estuaries to the ocean waters. It can survive in countries with climatic conditions such as mild, subtropical to frequently frozen habitats because they are both euryhaline and eurythermal (FAO 2020)

What’s the Menu to Being the Menu Real Quick

Mussels are often on the seafood restaurants’ menu. But what is on the mussel’s menu? 

They are filter feeders and so any detritus and plankton in the water columns that happen to drift near them can be pulled towards the organism through ciliary actions. Unfortunately, they are not only on the seafood restaurants’ menu but a lot of aquatic organisms also feed on them as well - from sea stars, sea anemones, snails, crabs, fishes,  to diving ducks, northwestern crow, gulls, and sea otters. Maybe their versatility also has its downsides and this is mainly being exposed to a lot of predators.

Photo from: Ruth Foster

However, without mussels that filter the water to take out toxins, algae and debris, the water will not be as clean, and without clean water, fish will have less oxygen causing them to die. Furthermore, they help concentrate the nutrients on lake bottoms and river-beds for other aquatic plants and animals.

Watch this video to see how mussels can help in improving the water quality in terms of turbidity:

Mytilus edulis @ 18: Welcome to Legality

Photo from: British Antarctic Survey 

Most cultured mussels are produced in less than 2 years but in the wild, blue mussels can live up to 18-24 years (FAO 2020), hence its shell growth over the years is a powerful indicator for environmental changes (British Antarctic Survey 2018).

A new study headed by Leca Telesca from University of Cambridge, claims that they have developed a method to accurately describe which specific traits change when facing specific environmental conditions regardless of age, species and other potentially confounding factors (British Antarctic Survey 2018). This is an important feature to track environmental stressors throughout the years.

Connecting with my Hooman

Have you ever tasted a tahong? Umm.. the blue tahong? Cos I haven’t. But they say that the blue tahong’s meat is excellent compared to the green-lipped tahong.  What about you? What KINDS of tahong have you eaten?  👀  

Centuries of Blue Entrée

Mytilus edulis has long been utilized and exploited even way back 6000 BC as scraps of shells were found as kitchen middens (FAO 2020). Blue mussels are harvested as a food source both from the wild and as farmed sources from commercial aquaculture. Blue mussels are a very important food source, especially to the coastal communities. 

DANGER: Toxic Shellfish Ahead

Despite its popularity as a food source, Diarrhetic Shellfish Poisoning (DSP) and Paralytic Shellfish Poisoning (PSP) pose a serious threat to the consumers that often leads to long-term industry closures and human health problems (FAO 2020) These poisonings are caused by harmful algal toxins consumed by the mussel.

Aiding the Economy

Blue mussel is an economically important species in the northwest Atlantic and temperate zones both imported and exported in the U.S. domestic fish market. With exported 2,018,000 lbs ($3.86 million) of all mussel species both wild and farmed harvest in 2013-2014 (The Safina Center 2017).

In the Philippines, the volume of farmed mussels continues to increase with 18, 774 metric tons to 26, 302 metric tons harvested last 2016 and 2018 respectively. (psa.gov.ph)  

Interestingly, blue mussels are not that common compared to green mussels in the Philippines! Hmm… No wonder I haven’t eaten one yet!

Fun Facts Time ! ! !

Yes... We know this is your most awaited... 

1. It was just an accident! 

The introduction of the blue mussel in the Philippines is possibly accidental due to shipping activities according to Philstar.com.

2. It’s an engineer! Yep, mussels are!

 Unlike you. . . they’re an ecosystem engineer.

Mussels are considered to be an ecosystem engineer as they can alter their environments for the better. They filter particles and make the water clean that positively affect their ecosystem and everything else that lives within the ecosystem. 

3. Colorful Comparison

The mantles of lady mussels are orange while gents’ are creamy white. 

4. Sorry SpongeBob We Must Side With Plankton

Mussels feed entirely on plankton. To do this they can filter up to 65 litres of water a day.

5. Gandang Natural! Finger Comb!

Chitin from shellfish such as in mussel is used to make “chitosan” which is found in moisturizers, hair-care products, and medical applications such as wound dressings and as a protective coat for wheat seeds.

 6. Mussels do fish!   …What?

Some species of mussels have to “go fishing” in order to get fish nearby to release their larvae for attachment as their life cycle includes fish as a host. Their mussel larvae attach themselves to the gills of fish, where they develop into juvenile mussels before detaching into the stream or river. To attract fish, mussels have developed very ornate lures that resemble small prey fish (Purdue University).

Check out these videos on how these mussel Lampsilis sp. attract fish.

 Reference:

British Atlantic Survey (2018). Blue mussel shape is a powerful indicator for environmental change. Retrieved October 14, 2020, Available from: https://phys.org/news/2018-02-blue-mussel-powerful-indicator-environmental.html

CABI. (2020). Mytilus edulis (common blue mussel). Retrieved October 15, 2020. Available from:https://www.cabi.org/isc/datasheet/73755#:~:text=trossulus%20occurs%20in%20the%20north,native%20(Wonham%2C%202004). 

Entrepinoys Atbp. Business Ideas Philippines. (2012). Mussel Culture (Tahong). Retrieved October 14, 2020 from  https://ep.franphil.com/mussel-culture-tahong/

FAO (Food and Agriculture Organization). (2020). Mytilus edulis (Linnaeus 1758). Retrieved October 14, 2020. Available from: http://www.fao.org/fishery/culturedspecies/Mytilus_edulis/en#:~:text=Blue%20mussels%20are%20widely%20distributed,%2C%20temperature%2C%20and%20oxygen%20tension. 

ITIS (Integrated Taxonomic Information System). (2020). Mytilus edulis (Linnaeus 1758). Retrieved October 14, 2020. Available from:https://www.itis.gov/servlet/SingleRpt/SingleRpt?search_topic=TSN&search_value=79454#null 

Kenedy J. (2019). What Is a Byssal Thread?. Retrieved October 14, 2020. Available from: https://www.thoughtco.com/byssal-byssus-threads-2291697 

Oli NA. (2016). Biology of Mussels and Camps. Retrieved October 14, 2020. Available from: https://www.slideshare.net/Nazmuloli52/biology-of-mussels-camps 

Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA). Fisheries Statistics. Retrieved October 14, 2020 from  https://psa.gov.ph/sites/default/files/Fisheries%20Statistics%20of%20the%20Philippines%2C%202016-2018.pdf

Philstar (The Philippines Star). (2015). Blue mussels reach Pangasinan coast. Retrieved October 14, 2020 from https://www.philstar.com/business/science-and-environment/2015/12/30/1537711/blue-mussels-reach-pangasinan-coast

Purdue University. (n.d.). Heart of the Tippy. Retrieved October 14, 2020 from https://www.purdue.edu/extension/mussels/more-about-mussels/

The Safina Center. (2017).  Blue Mussel Mytilus edulis.  Retrieved October 14, 2020 from https://seafood.ocean.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Mussels-Blue-US-Atlantic

THAT’S IT FOLKS. BYE!

[jaimetheexplorer]

A tiger can’t change its stripes

(Warning! Pedantic post ahead.)

I’ve seen this throwaway metaphor being tossed around often as an explanation show!Jaime’s ending. People love to use it (Nik included) because it’s simple and concise and catchy, especially in the Twitter-sphere of limited characters.

Besides the fact that I think it’s an incredibly simplistic and misguided view of human behaviour (human behaviour is not as set in stone in the same way as something that is purely genetically determined, like fur patterns), even if we want to take this metaphor in a broader sense as realistic, there’s a fundamental misunderstanding of what it really means, when applied to show!Jaime’s situation. 

When people talk about a tiger being unable to change its stripes, what they’re actually referring to is personality traits. We all have some personality traits that are more stable/dominant and personality traits that are less stable/dominant. The former tend to stick with us throughout most of our lives (the so called “stripes”), whereas the latter are more “fluid”.  

For example, one of my more dominant personality traits is that I am obsessive. I hyperfixate on things I’m passionate about and as much as I try to reign it in, it’s a massive struggle for me to control. And I’ll have to deal with this trait of mine for the rest of my life.

The objects of my obsession, though, can vary. They can be the same for a long long time, sometimes even a decade or more, but they are not set in stone. The objects of my obsession are not my “stripes”. My obsessive nature is the “stripes”. 

A similar example is the old adage of “once a cheater, always a cheater”. Even if one were to take this adage at face value, and see cheaters as unredeemable and incapable of ever in their lives remaining faithful to a partner, the idea isn’t that the cheater only cheats when in a relationship with one specific partner, but that they will cheat regardless of the partner they’re in a relationship with. The tendency to cheat is the “stripes” in this case, not the partner they’re cheating on, or the person they’re cheating with.

Saying that Jaime had to go back to Cersei because “a tiger can’t change his stripes” is a fundamental misunderstanding of that metaphor, because it confuses a personality trait (i.e. “the things we do for love”, or whatever you want to call it), with the object of a behaviour that stems for that personality trait (i.e. Cersei).  An example of Jaime being “unable” to change his stripes, would have been him committing some atrocity for Brienne - and all the drama that can come from that - because he’s willing to do anything for the people he loves (not that I would have wanted him to do that; this is just for the sake of argument). 

So, in a sense, “addiction” is actually a better metaphor for show!Jaime’s ending (ignoring for a moment the fact that what it wasn’t even a realistic portrayal of addiction), because it addiction refers to a specific substance (or person in this case). 

And Jaime’s “addiction” specifically to Cersei isn’t a personality trait. It’s a toxic way of relating to her that stemmed from years of isolation, emotional abuse and manipulation. Victims of abusive relationships don’t have a “personality trait” that makes them seek out abusive partners. They might have personality traits that make them more vulnerable to falling pray to abusive partners, but saying an abuse victim crawling back to their abuser is about being unable to change as a person is... controversial at best.

It’s the abuser who often has personality traits that drive them to abuse their victim. Cersei would likely never change her stripes either, in the sense that she’d probably abuse anyone she enters a relationship with. Just as Jaime’s “stripes” aren’t Cersei, Cersei’s abusive “stripes” aren’t Jaime (and we see plenty of her abusing other people, from Tyrion to, particularly in the books, her children, especially Tommen).  

So, once again, I wish people would be careful not to turn a writing choice into a matter of “this is how life is”. By all means, try to scramble to find an explanation for why, in this specific instance, this specific character met this specific ending. But don’t generalize (in dangerous ways) about real life, just because it’s a simple and catchy metaphor that rolls well off the tongue.

[corvid-lullaby]

TLDR: I RP Nishiki both from 0, K1, and past that for AUs. I RP him canonically but I primarily base him off of a fanfic (SecT) I’m working on, of which he lives and where the events of K1 causes him to have what is outwardly believed to be Dissociative Personality Disorder (AKA Multiple Personalities.) One is of his former 0 self (Referred to as Nishiki) and the other is his K1 self (Referred to as Shikiya (Derived from Nishikiyama)).

However, Shiki isn’t just another facet to Nishiki, but ends up being a fully realized entity with his own thought process, opinions, etc. He even converses with Nishiki and interacts with him within the mind. Typically cold and standoffish, but how foul he can be highly depends on ‘when’ a post takes place. He’s at his worst during the events of K1, less terrible but nervous and beginning to be understanding post K1, and eventually very protective in a tsundere sense as the two continue to recover. Since the beginning, he has been in love with Nishiki, but it started out in an extremely toxic way. This has also improved over time.

For threads, I very much prefer it if you tell me your preference on what version of Nishiki you’d like. Be it 0’s, K1’s, my split personality SecT version, or something else. I’m very flexible and willing to cater towards your preferences.

To make things easier, the two will sometimes be colour coded. Generally, purple is for Nishiki, red is for Shiki, and pink/maroon is for both.

This Bio will cater towards my fanfic/AU Sect, and will have hints of FFXIV in it.

Nishiki (Akira, Koi)

Shikiya (Shiki, Crow)

Basics

Represented with purple

Birthday: October 8

Species: Human/Hyur

Race: Japanese/Doman

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Pansexual, switch

Romantic Status: Polyamorous

Scent: Sweet potpourri with hints of something kin to rain as well as a higher quality cigarette scent.

Personality: Typically energetic, easy going, and friendly. He can become bubbly and peppy around friends or if it fits the situation’s mood. Flamboyant to no end, yet sensitive. Beware for he is completely capable of embarrassing himself or a friend for the sake of being a complete dork. He also enjoys teasing Shikiya from to to time. May or may not be easy to cry.

Represented with red

Age: ? (5 ½ If you want to age him by years he has ‘existed’)Birthday: Unknown. Sometime in the fall.

Species: None/Unknown

Gender: None due to only being a mental entity, but prefers 'him, ect.’ To him, gender is nothing more than an aesthetic.

Sexuality: Pansexual, dominant

Romantic Status: Polyamorous

Scent: General floral with a note of mint and occasionally a nice higher quality cigarette scent.

Personality: Relatively cold and quiet. He’s very poor at regular conversation where awkward silences can be common. Awkward for you, not him. He couldn’t care otherwise. On the other hand, he’s very adept at being a leader and in battle. It’s these times where he shines the most. If a fight gets violent enough, it could bring out his bloodthirsty side where he loses himself in the enjoyment of a difficult kill.

He hasn’t been 'alive’ for very long. Only 5 ½ to 6 years. This can sometimes show through by ways of his random curiosity on even the most mundane of subjects, as well as being extremely gullible on anything he knows little to nothing about. This isn’t to be confused with being stupid, which he very much isn’t. Although his lack of personal experience can cause him to come off a bit innocent at times.

Yes, he can use Nishiki’s mind and memories as a filing cabinet for knowledge, but he has to seek and learn it himself. He doesn’t automatically know everything Nishiki does. On top of that there are things in life where experiencing it for yourself is entirely different from simply knowing and understanding it.

As with being a 6 year old in an adult body, he can be quite the greedy little brat and be completely ignorant to a lot of stuff around him. Such as the feelings of others.

Physical

Voice: Commonly chipper and energetic. His vocal range for normal speaking can be highly varied and playful due to his flamboyant nature. Vocal example.

Height: 5'11

Build: Swimmer’s but not overly built, and an extra emphasis on the stomach due to high mono fin usage.

Common Clothing: He can typically be found in a clean maroon suit with a black silk undershirt swimming with loud golden print. He enjoys dressing up so he can be found in other clothing. There’s also a high enjoyment in traditional Japanese wear, but he usually only wears this either privately at home or on special occasions.

Distinguishing Attributes: Koi irezumi (tattoo) on the back. Burn scars on the front and side of the right half of his stomach. Since Shikiya came to be, he began exhibiting a faint amber glow to his irises under dimmer lighting. This only shows if Shikiya is currently aware and present to the current situation, regardless if he’s the one speaking/in control or not. He also has a belly button piercing.

Weapons: Carries a gun but prefers hand to hand.

Fighting Styles: Does well with a gun and close range weaponless combat, although not as good as Shikiya. Preferably he’d rather fight with his fists. While his sworn brother, Kiryu, is extremely strong, Nishiki tends to be quicker and more light footed than he, but not nearly as strong. Even though Shikiya is skilled with the sword, Nishiki is a complete klutz with it. He’s far more likely to stab his own foot. Still, he does enjoy Iaido at home… even if he’s bad at that too.

Voice: Still Nishiki’s natural voice physically but sounds notably lower, calmer, and cold. Within Nishiki’s mind, it can sound severely or slightly altered in various ways. Be it higher, lower, masculinized, or feminized, or some inhuman alteration. At times it even sounds like he has multiple vocals going at once. An example can be found here at 3:40. Warning: the end of the video has implied suicide. Again this is not his physical voice that everyone else hears, but how Nishiki perceives his voice in his mind sometimes.

Common Clothing: Often professionally dressed. Usually in mostly white with black accents. Occasionally can be found in all black (even the tabi) traditional Japanese/Doman clothing which could include a hakkuma, waraji, and ornamental fabric around the neck.

Distinguishing Attributes: Outwardly it still is Nishiki’s body, but with minor differences due to Shikiya being an entirely different entity. There is a faint amber glow to the irises that is visible under dimmer lighting. He often looks either irritated or melancholy in comparison. Also has a smooth and calculated gait. He hates having his hair in his face, so it’s often put back in some way.

Weapons: Besides a gun, can sometimes be found with a katana.

Fighting Styles: He’s far more skilled at the gun and close range weaponless fighting than Nishiki. He’s also skilled with the katana, primarily with Iaijutsu. He is also fond of Iaido, but this is used more for self balancing and self discipline training rather than fighting.

Personal

Professions: Cabaret Host, mermaider, and aquatic caretaker at a cabaret, hitman, mercenary, former yakuza patriarch (still helps advising and running his Family although no longer officially a part of it)

Disabilities: PTSD (Fiercely covers this up), “dissociative personality disorder”, schizophrenia, chronic klutz

Hobbies: Aquatic biology, eating, swimming, still eating, various arts and crafts, also never stops eating. No, we don’t know where it goes.

Fears: Abandonment, sedatephobia (Fear of silence), autophobia (Fear of being alone, although Shiki’s presence cures this, for better or for worse)

Quirks: Says “koi” in playful situations with various meanings depending on context. For example, hell say “Koi koi!” while giving someone an overly loving hug. In this case he could mean ‘love love.’ Another would be him saying this while beckoning someone with a finger. In this case it could be ‘come come.’

Habits: Flirtatious at times without realizing it. Sometimes he’ll go into a severely reclusive state when his mind starts going into darker places. If it gets bad enough, he can fall into varying states of psychosis.

Professions: Hitman, mercenary. Although Nishiki has officially retired from being a Patriarch and is no longer a part of the Nishikiyama Family, the Family still respects him as if he is still the Patriarch. The higher positioned people know of Nishiki’s split personality and especially treats Shikiya with respect. Shikiya still occasionally returns to the Family office when needed or to take up stray jobs.

Disabilities: None

Hobbies: Yakuza odds and ends, Chess, Iaido

Fears: Ceasing to exist, disappearing, being locked away mentally

Quirks: Finds having longer nails being more comfortable

Habits: Rubs the back of his neck when sleepy and/or when overly comfortable, seems to have poor restraint or realization on impulses (ie can drag his nails too roughly to the point of being painful when he means to simply pet, or fingers can give gestures of wanting to wrap around a neck to strangle but is obviously restraining himself)

Traits

*Bold is typically. Italics is situational.*

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open-Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Laid-back / In Between / Hyperactive

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional/ In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

*Bold is typically. Italics is situational.*

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open-Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Laid-back / In Between / Hyperactive

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between / Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Background Summary

**Contains major Yakuza spoilers for 0 and 1/K1** **Based on AU Fanfic SecT**

Can be found here.

RP Hooks

Dirty Jobs: Given that Shikiya highly enjoys challenges, fighting, the thrill of the kill, and because Nishiki retired from a position that fulfilled those cravings, he’s pretty willing to take on the more dangerous tasks. He has a lot of skills and experience under his belt due to being an ex-Patriarch to his own Family. He also has a lot of resources with that Family since they still highly respect him. Sometimes Nishiki can be found doing this too, but it’s typically due to Shikiya picking up a job and dumping the job on him. It’s usually out of a negative sort of amusement.

Subordinates/Nishikiyama Family: Both Nishiki and Shikiya offer hirings into their Yakuza Family. The Family is ultimately very strict and harsh, especially towards newcomers with their heads in their asses, but actually have a tight bond with one another. It’s easy to tell when their strict and harsh behavior is out of care or not. For Shikiya in particular, he does look for those that would qualify as good right hand members for himself. Needless to say, anyone attempting this sort of position will be put through the ringer, as Shikiya is anything but soft and kind.

Cabaret Host: Nishiki’s primary job is both a host and for aquatic maintenance at an aquatic/mermaid themed mixed gender cabaret club. The club itself does traditional hosts/hostesses but also has a section for their mermaiding. Just as Shikiya gets a kick out of sometimes dumping his jobs onto Nishiki, Nishiki also does the same by 'shoving’ Shikiya out sometimes while working, although rarely. He sometimes goes on paid dates with trusted customers, but will absolutely refuse going down any sexual routes.

General Buddy: Nishiki is pretty friendly and energetic, but is also the type to easily get lonely. He’s always willing to hang out for the sake of hanging out. This includes anything simple, such as going out for a drink or karaoke. Shikiya, on the other hand, is too cold and awkward for this sort of thing. He’s better suited as a companion on the field of battle.

Aquatic Biologist: It isn’t a profession of his, but rather a hobby gone out of control. He knows more about freshwater over marine, but he’s always willing to offer advice or help in regards to this.

[mrsq8geek]

Advice for an aspiring author hoping to write lgbt muslim characters?

Hi, thanks for your question!  This is quite the rabbit hole, so I can't cover everything, but I did my best.  Some general guidelines and then my own view:

1. Do not write this story unless it is from personal experience or with the direct express written permission from the person it’s based on, and I hesitate with that second one.  Like many other experiences, this story hasn’t been told all that often, so unless you’re one of the above, you don’t have many points of reference and will probably get it wrong and, I suspect, as ‘exotic’.

That said:

2.  Start by examining yourself. One of my favourite resources is @writingwithcolor​, which has many great references for this.  At this point, we're asking questions such as "Why do you not want to represent us?" and "Why do you need to tell this story right now?" among others.  Do check it out.

3.  Please, please don't write an apologetic acceptably assimilated model minority.  I don't know where you're from, or where you intend to set the story, but we're all influenced by American media, so I feel it's important to mention.  We generally don't have positive feelings towards those characters, let alone relating to them, at least not to the aspects where they're supposed to represent us.

(My personal pet peeve example is Abed Nadir from Community, a Muslim enamoured with Christmas and is an all-around Acceptable Arab... played by an Indian actor.  It's extra irking because the show was touted as being Better Than Big Bang Theory, and it seemed okay addressing many other nuances, but when it came to this? Think of it this way: why didn't they cast an Asian actress to play Britta or Annie and called her white? Or, indeed, an Indian actress to play Shirley and called her black? Because clearly they believe the audience can't tell the difference? Arabs are black or white but not brown, guys.  Not all Arabs are Muslims and vice versa.  Some Muslims are (gasp!) white.)

Anyway, the point is Abed, and others like him, are non-threatening.  They reject their own identity and are desperate to be Just Like Us Default White People.  While this is definitely the case for some people, 1. it's not the case for most people, 2. it's just a really tired trope especially in current times, and 3. the other side of this trope’s coin is that in order to be acceptable for The West, they have to rebel against their character’s original identity, which is just as tired.

But I digress.  You already know by asking this question that it’s controversial.  Why not play it straight instead?  Pun unintended.  Do your research, whatever way you choose to go. 

4.  Speaking of doing your research, do. your. research! Muslims are a diverse group of about 2 billion people*.  There are two major sects and many smaller ones.  In the major ones, homosexuality (etc) is a sin, haram, full stop, end of sentence.  Any level of presenting like the opposite gender is not only haram, it’s cursed.  Yes, there are many people coming up with exceptions and loopholes, or just doing what they want regardless, and if you want to write about them, that's your prerogative, but:

* so Kamala Khan, for example, is completely unrelatable to me. (See: 9)

5.  You know what else is considered haram in majority Islam? Extra-marital sex.  Pork.  Alcohol.  Drugs, yes including cannabis, in fact even nutmeg.  People do all that anyway! Especially in non-Muslim-majority countries where the laws don’t make it harder for them, or in poorer Muslim-majority countries where people don’t get educated in religious matters, or indeed all over everywhere because not all people of any religion actively practice that religion.  It's a non-issue by this point. 

5A. The only reason LGBT Muslims is An Issue, and it’s An Issue Now, is because America’s making it one.  It’s no different than, say, modern white feminism.  They stir the pot, we deal with the mess.

5B. Muslims are people, and people aren't perfect. We know this, and we've addressed it as nauseam… and that’s just it, we’re allowed* to talk about these things because we know ourselves and our experiences.  It’s more acceptable coming from us to us because we have a common ground to start discussing things.

* I wrote allowed, but it really depends on the situation. Sometimes you’re not allowed simply because you don’t want to make it an issue, and that’s okay too.

5C. Since you’re asking, I’m assuming you’re not a Muslim yourself, and that puts a layer on scrutiny on you.  We don’t know where to begin to talk to you, and it’s worse if you represent us in any controversial way or in any way less than perfect.  Less than perfect by whose standards? It depends. Nobody knows! (See: 3)

5D. Examine yourself, research the topic, and know just what you’re trying to say.

6.  That said, here’s my personal take on it that I’d love to see someone do, but haven’t so far.  I don’t know how people arrive at their sexuality, whether it’s by nature or nurture, but they do end up there one way or another.  When it comes to Islam, you’re highly encouraged to (heterosexually, to be clear) marry and reproduce.  You’re discouraged from sex outside that framework.  If you are unable to marry for whatever reason, you’re supposed to find a way to deal with it. Fasting is often recommended.

And the way I see it, finding yourself not being attracted to the opposite gender is just one reason to not marry.  “So I NEVER get to have sex?” Yes, just like your straight brothers and sisters who realize they can never marry for their own reasons. Maybe their health prevents them. Maybe they have family depending on them, especially financially, and they realize can’t add a husband or wife into the mix. Maybe they’re incompatible with the person they wanted.  

The West worships Romantic Love (also money, but that’s another thing), but it really isn’t everything in life*.  Just see any post here on tumblr dot com discussing the different kinds of love the Romans acknowledged and wrote about extensively.  Yes, it’s a powerful drive, but again, it’s not the only thing in life, and coming to that realization is its own journey.

* (Something something Harry Potter)

I am so, so sick and tired of characters who don’t practice their religion (“hi, I’m Muslim/Jewish/Christian/Hindu/Buddhist/whatever, but I will have that pork, that beef cheeseburger, whatever”*), and equally tired of characters who are the personification of their religion (“hi, I’m religious, hear me act out my stereotypes”). Don’t get me started on characters who exist just so the authors can bash that religion.  

* a recent disappointing example was the show Crazy Ex Girlfriend.  When Rebecca is first introduced, I was excited to learn the show was about a Jewish character, finally a religious character portrayed as practicing!  But it was quickly revealed they were focusing on the cultural aspects, and not only is she non-practicing, she doesn’t even believe any god exists.  Snore. In contrast, see: Shepherd Book from the show Firefly.  Not just a practicing Christian, an actually interesting character in his own right.  Not a perfect person by far, but someone who’s doing his utmost to live his life and still maintain his faith. 

I want a Muslim character who finds themselves attracted to whomever, someone from the same gender or whatever you want, or feeling like they want to present as not their birth gender, and then proceeds to do what so many of us real-life Muslims do: find ways to deal with it and come to terms with it.  Acknowledge it and make peace with it.  Make the choice, the conscious decision, to remain faithful to their beliefs and maybe not pursue a romantic relationship with the other person… and instead interact with them like a human being they care about.  Help them reach a goal or achieve a dream, keep them safe from harm, something.  Maybe focus on the traits of the other gender that are accessible, or fight the toxic effects of the patriarchy, something.  Writing like “a happy ending == they end up together”, and any and all other outcomes are Bad and Tragic and Void, is boring and unrealistic.

Just as a black woman being soft and feminine is a rebellion against the mainstream, a religious character sticking to their faith above all else is way more interesting than yet another character breaking the rules.

Addendums:

7. “But Islam is homophobic?” No, Islam has rules against intentionally engaging in specific behaviors.  You’re not faulted for having low alcohol tolerance, you’re faulted for the act of consumption. You’re not faulted for being addicted to drugs, you’re faulted for making the decision to try it the first time, or if you were tricked into it, for not trying to get clean once you’re there.  However!  People, all people, hashtag not just Muslims, often try to enforce rules by creating fear and hatred around them.  It’s a convenient societal shorthand, even if the consequences can be different than intended.  It’s the same mechanism that leads to “abstinence = zero sex ed” in the US.  Abstinence isn’t the issue, people trying to enforce it by making information around sex opaque are the ones causing problems.

So some Muslim people end up homophobic, and some Muslim people go all in the other direction, because the balance is delicate and difficult to find.  

8. “LGBT stories aren’t just about sex, what about asexuals, transsexuals, etc?” True, but most LGBT stories tend to go in that direction, and I’m keeping it as broad as I can here.

9. Even if your character is Muslim but not Arab, it’s probably going to come up, in your research if not in your story.  Although the most populous Muslim nation is Indonesia and the most famous “Muslim” terrorists are Afghani, the most prominent Muslim sites are in Saudi Arabia and Palestine.  The branding is there.  With that in mind, required reading is the film Reel Bad Arabs, and any primers you can find on Orientalism, Colonialism, and Imperialism.

***

Honourable mentions:

Check out the Saudi series Masameer by Myrkott on YouTube, many episodes have subtitles. They recently made a movie and it's on Netflix internationally!  You can't escape American Imperialism any more than you can escape British Colonialism*, but we're all way past being enamoured by them.  The Emirati series Freej is also in Youtube, sans subtitles, though the DVDs have them, and I’ll leave it at that.  Hashtag quarantine let us catch up on shows?  Stay safe, stay home.

* she said, in English.

[chibimyumi]

Hi Chibimyumi! Can you please give examples of Yuta's thoughts about social struggles ( mental health, gengered bias etc.) ^-^ And what do you think about FuruTod's dress?

Hello Anon ^ω^

I would gladly!

Mental Health

Furukawa does not actually talk about mental health outside his own scope at all; he keeps everything on a personal level only.

He is fairly strict to himself; Furukawa seems to value problem-tackling way more than self-therapy. I have never seen him comfort himself with mental hacks or softness; whenever there is a problem he would call everything for what it is without any sugar coating. Examples include him referring to his actions using the words ‘cowardice’, ‘weakness’, ‘arrogance’, ‘naivety’, etc. Furukawa would not linger on these derogatory terms however. He accepts these as simply descriptors rather than ultimate identifiers. Having weaknesses does not make one weak, and sugar coating problems is counterproductive to combating them, after all.

An example of this is actually as recent as today (June 19th, 2019), where on the TV programme ZIP, Furukawa openly talked about himself running away from rehearsal, using the unapologetic word 逃げ出す (nigedasu・run/bolt away).

Furukawa also grew a lot in the recent years. In the past, rather than facing his obstacles head on, he would shamelessly ask others to solve the problem for him. He learned the consequences of this passive attitude the hard way, alas, but he did learn. And he is determined to let the lesson count. Likewise, he has also learned that a challenge is just a task that he might have to work harder for to take on, rather than be upset with himself that we was not ‘born to be able to do it’. In one interview where he was asked how he felt about being promoted to ‘Ogosho’ (Prince), now being ranked the same as other legendary performers, Furukawa answered as follows:

“I don’t have talents. Unlike Inoue-senpai (Inoue Yoshio), I can’t just open my mouth and hit notes so beautiful it moves people’s hearts. I am not like Iku-senpai (Yamazaki Ikusaburo) who can just stand there and suck people into the play with sheer charisma. But I believe that my weaknesses are my biggest weapon. These weaknesses keep me motivated to work harder than anyone, and I believe that my ardent hard-work is the soul of my performance. I hope that rather than ‘one show’, my performances can be a journey of growth that I share with my audience.” (*Starts sobbing* Furukawa, you are a beacon of inspiring energy T^T)

Furukawa is not some mental-health guru who gives advice, but in my opinion, he is incredibly effective because he leads by example. By always being open and casual about addressing weaknesses and problems, he reminds his spectators that it is not shameful to talk about these, and that the shame is only as big as one makes it to be. Likewise, he reminds people that there is no such thing as one rigid standard set in stone. “Rather than setting a goal according to one’s ideals, I think it is more important to strive for flexibility in preparation for these ideals” [Link].

To me, it is especially extraordinary because he is a man, and therefore socialised to reject and spit on weakness, and be shamed for having such ““unmanly traits””.

Gendered Bias

Japan is an incredibly and infuriatingly gendered society (personal story; I myself wear incredibly girly clothes, but my “opinions” are probably not “girly” enough. Once I was just talking to someone, and they advised me to “not speak so scarily, instead I should speak cuter”, because it does not fit my femininity.)

Born and raised in the middle of nowhere in a very traditional household where his father was the absolute and only authority, Furukawa too grew up with rigid gender standards. As a result, Furukawa is not entirely without bias either of course, but he is always keeping his eyes open to check what bias there might be. He is a critical thinker, and unpacks the psyche behind a person’s behaviour to the bottom. This allows him to gain a more objective view on cause and effect in human behaviour. (The Sebastianess is real). This ‘unpacking’ is probably what helped him see through the artificialness of gendered conventions, and helps him check for bias. Perhaps it is this talent that made him so good at his job of producing amazing interpretations for his roles, perhaps it is his job which nurtured this talent. Or it’s both.

This is just me surmising, but it is likewise possible that he is so feminist because he does not feel sexual attraction for women (or anyone else); this probably helped him rationalise and shielded him from falling for the sexualisation of women which reduces them into a piece of meat to be owned.

In the after-talk show of ‘Marie Antoinette’ at the Imperial Theatre, Furukawa was asked what role other than Axel von Fersen he would have liked to play.

Furukawa: “M.A.” (the initials of the lead roles Marie Antoinette and Margrid Arnaud).

Host: “Which one?”

Furukawa: “Both. These women are amazing, but I cannot play them. This world is made by men for men like me, and yet, we all still manage to fail despite everything being customised by ourselves (laughs). What does success of a man even mean then? I admire women who have succeeded despite all the odds. If I were ever reborn as a woman, I want to play heroines like these people.”

(And the fans unanimously agreed that we don’t want him to reincarnate, we just want him to play these roles the way he is XD)

Without trying to point the finger to Japanese gendered society (too hard, with fully manicured nails and a new set or diamond rings), I am astonished by how emancipated Furukawa turned out despite his background.

Scary and Being Scared

Furukawa is hyper aware of the fearsomeness of toxic masculinity. He once admitted that he actually has trouble interacting with women, because he grows too self-conscious of being scary, and fears he might not be able to catch his own bad behaviour on time. He said that he is so tall he towers over even most men (in Japan) on top of having a villainous face. (???? Ô.ó) In addition, he said that his speaking voice is low to begin with, but when he is scared it becomes even lower, and he sometimes accidentally raises his voice. All in all, he said there is no reason for women NOT to be scared by him. So, he rather keep himself at bay.

In this post about Furukawa’s respect for women, we see how mindful he is in approaching women. Though this story is inspiring, it is possible this respect comes from a place of fear. Regardless, it is still rare to see a man so graciously acknowledging toxic masculinity AND admitting fear (fear for anything, really! And that’s why I love him).

In one of the old shows ‘Heat Up Eve’, Furukawa was talking about how hitting on girls is a very scary thing to do. He wondered how girls even deal with this. In the phoning-corner-event, Furukawa asked the calling fan how she would handle the situation, and his team-mates suggested him doing a live simulation with the fan. Furukawa agreed to put on his scary-face, and produced the following gem:

Der Tod’s Costume

I really, honestly like his standard costume a lot. In normal light I am not entirely sure, but in stage-light (as it is meant to be) it is a magnificent piece of art.

It is rather patriotic since TOHO already declared a “New Era of the Japanese ‘Elisabeth’ with their new Ogosho“, but I really like the details on his lapel that may have been based on a Sodenashi Haori.

His other costume for ‘The Last Dance’ is something I have not really made my mind up about, though I am happy to see him with a cape again. This vaguely Victorian-Napoleonic era uniform also has some Japanese factors in it, but I am not sure I like the breaks of the knots that don’t reach its buttons...

Though, I really like how his hair is tied back into a pony tail with a ribbon. Der Tod’s original visual design had shorter hair, but they aborted that idea. This pony-tail look with long bangs makes it look like the huge banners are not false advertisement XD.

Regardless, I am happy they finally made Furukawa his own costumes and dropped the previous costume that was Shirota Yuu’s (whose built is MUCH larger). It looked like YunTod was wearing his father’s clothes...

Inoue-senpai (left) also expressed how he was a bit jealous of Furukawa’s costumes, and joked:

“Furu-kun’s clothes are so elegant and refreshing, I think it reflects what kind of Der Tod he plays. Here I am carrying a dead fish tail; what does that say about me? (laughs)” [Source]

[curlyjoe7]

Hi. I feel the need to explain myself so here it goes: I deleted my post that included MOGAI don’t interact at the bottom and the ask I got (if you don’t know I posted a picture about a flag I made for myself and asking people if they wanted one but I included a banner at the bottom saying “MOGAI Don’t Interact” and I got an ask about it saying me stating this is a safe place but being anti MOGAI is controversial). Why? I really don’t want discourse or to invite more discourse on my blog but I realize I have no choice. I am not trying to cover shit up and in return I feel I should respond to the ask again and explain myself more clearly:

@ Anon, I am not sorry about my beliefs offending you. Though I am not completely against MOGAI I do have a lot of problems with it. It just feels like they sit there and make a fool out the LGBTQ+ community a lot of the time. Do I care if you use neopronouns? No. Go ahead! Do I care if you can’t find an identity that truly encompasses how you feel so you make one up? No. Go ahead! Do I think you always need to have dysphoria to be trans? No. You can just feel more comfortable in another gender and that’s totally okay and valid! Go ahead! But do I care when people who aren’t trans at all identify as a gender that is just their personality traits? Yes. And honestly why does the MOGAI community have to exist? The LGBTQ+ is growing everyday to add more identities for everyone. I know some people try to just call it the LGBT but it’s not just that anymore. It’s so much more than that. If you don’t see your identity under the LGBTQ you are the +! And you are valid regardless of what anyone says as long as you’re not using your “identity” to be cool. Aros are valid! Aces are valid! Mspecs are valid! Gays are valid! Enbys are valid! Transgender men and women are valid! And they all belong in the community. Intersex/intersexual people also deserve a place in the community as they experience a lot of gender identity issues themselves and should not be left out! But softgenders (a gender that feels soft and sensitive) and recugenders ([believe that is the name for it] someone who identities with the gender assigned to their sex but refuses to be cis) and everything like them are just not valid at all. I shouldn’t have to tell you this. Gender is how you feel between female, male and gender neutral/genderless. Nothing else. There can be combos but that’s it. You’re not softgender, you’re just a soft and sensitive person, that has nothing to do with your gender. Anyone can be soft and sensitive. And regardless if you like it or not “recugenders”, you’re cis. I know you want to be special but being trans doesn’t make you special. It’s who you are as a person that makes you special. You don’t need a fancy label to be a good product.

Your personality traits are not a gender. Gender is who you are not what you choose. It’s not dress up. It’s a serious thing that needs to be respected as such. I know the MOGAI community is just trying to be more inclusive for people and that’s wonderful but it’s been taken too far. Now you are just doing more harm than good. Because of people like you I have to endure hearing those stupid “I identify as a [random object]” and “DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER?????” “jokes.” They are not in any way funny and actually just degrades a community that is already looked down upon. I know some people are just trying to have a laugh and I get that but it’s spreading the idea being trans is weird. And it’s not. And MOGAI is just contributing to the problem by spreading nonexistent genders and romantic/sexual orientations that are just personality traits, personality preferences in a partner or someone refusing to admit they’re cishet cause they want to feel special. And you’re also spreading this message to young, impressionable, naïve people that don’t know any better and that’s just plain wrong. Your personality preferences in a partner is not a romantic/sexual orientation. A romantic/sexual orientation has to do with how much romantic/sexual interest you have and/or the gender(s) you are romantically/sexually attracted to. Liking goth people is not a romantic/sexual orientation. Again, I shouldn’t have to tell you this. And just fyi people are always going to misgender you, it’s a normal human reaction to call someone who looks male a he and someone who looks female a she. They are not transphobic, they are just unaware. Everybody assumes people’s gender based on looks. Just correct them politely. They’ll never know how to refer to you if you don’t tell them and you’d be surprised the response you might get. So yes I have a problem with a good bit of the MOGAI community besides neopronouns and the actual real identities that help people. I said don’t interact with my blog if you are a terrible person and going around acting like being queer is a fashion statement rather than a legitimate thing makes you a terrible person. I’m not going to accept your toxicity and harmful behavior into my safe space. And that’s that on that.

P.S. Do I know if all the MOGAI communities are like this? No. There could very well be a chance there are some MOGAI communities that do more good than harm. And I am willing to give the community a second chance as I only know the bad people in it. I am also willing to give the community the benefit of the doubt that there are good things about it. Cause like I said earlier, there is. Having an accepting community to help you find a term that is more tailored to how you feel is a great thing. It really does help a lot of people and I’m glad it does. But regardless of the good it does, we can’t ignore the bad it does. Which is all I’m saying.

[pass-the-bechdel]

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend season three full review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

100% (thirteen of thirteen).

What is the average percentage per episode of female characters with names and lines?

41.16%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

Seven, so just over half. Three of those are 50%+.

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

Zero.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Twenty-four. Thirteen who appeared in more than one episode, five who appeared in at least half the episodes, and two who appeared in every episode.

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Thirty-nine. Eighteen who appeared in more than one episode, seven who appeared in at least half the episodes, and one who appeared in every episode.

Positive Content Status:

Not nearly as good as you might expect or hope. As with previous seasons, the show’s most impressive content is not the feminist stuff at all, and on the feminist front it feels sometimes as if the show spends more time denouncing different aspects of the feminist movement as ‘the wrong kind of feminism’ than it does declaring and upholding the aspects it does approve. I tend to feel that it spends time talking the talk on women’s issues, but doesn’t often get up to walk the walk (average rating of 3).

General Season Quality:

Easily better than the previous two seasons, despite a deflated ending. It takes a much more focused approach to its storytelling in the beginning of the season, in a manner which briskly becomes refreshingly confronting and leads in to a powerful middle. Unfortunately, it never sustains quality for very long, and overall the show still suffers for being too easily distracted. It’s not infuriating, but it can be frustrating.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

Ok, let me explain something about myself first, something I’ve mentioned in other (non-Crazy Ex) posts which have gone live long before this one will, but for anyone who missed it in any of those other places, here it is: I am, right now, pregnant. In fact, I am pregnant with a child conceived non-traditionally with a gay friend of mine, and as such, Darryl’s non-traditional quest for biological parenthood in this season struck a very personal chord (though, unlike Darryl, I used the phone-a-friend option as my first choice, not a fallback. Would recommend, if it’s ever relevant to your life). I bring all of this up because I can categorically declare that there are certain plot threads that you absolutely will NOT have the same reaction to if you don’t have that very personal chord being struck, and even moreso if that chord is relevant to your life right now, rather than being something that you’ve experienced in the past but has since slipped from the forefront of your attention. Thus, when I talked about feeling like the emphasis was in all the wrong places for Darryl’s part of the narrative, and expressed irritation with Heather’s pregnancy and birth? I sure ain’t mad about it for no reason. I am extremely, extremely aware of what those processes are actually like right the heck now.

I’m not going to linger on all the details, but I am particularly annoyed at the writers for dropping the ball on the pregnancy/birth part, specifically because it’s something which is so often badly dramatised in tv and film already, and the writers not only know that, they openly reference it as if they’re somehow doing better. The same way that medical professionals sometimes find it too frustrating to watch hospital dramas because of all their inaccuracies, or someone in law enforcement might cringe their way through all the egregious breaches in procedure in a cop show, there’s always a significant risk that anything depicted in fiction will make you want to tear your hair out over the way the plot warps or disregards reality that is pertinent to your life, either through a lack of proper research or understanding of the subject matter, or a conscious choice to prioritise desired storytelling beats/developments over actual logic and realism. Suffice to say there are a LOT of concessions Crazy Ex-Girlfriend asked me to make to their storytelling with this little subplot, some of which most people who have never been pregnant wouldn’t notice, and yes, some of which I would probably dismiss if I were not in the midst of the reality right now. I’m someone who has been present at actual births before and has been raised with an above-average understanding of what’s involved, so I’m used to gritting my teeth and hoping to just not be too annoyed by the way pregnancy and birth is typically depicted on screen. The fact that I am currently immersed in the reality of preparing to give birth makes me less forgiving of fictional contrivances, yes, but in the case of this show’s approach, it’s also more than that: it’s the fact that this show actively promotes itself as a feminist text. And if you’re gonna do that, and criticise the way other things (”written by men!”) depict labour, but then you also choose not to include any education/empowerment of your pregnant character, rattle off a variety of (uneducated, disempowered) cliches anyway, and then handwave it all with ‘nevermind, she just got an epidural!’ as if that ‘solves’ the difficulties of birth (and post-birth recovery, for that matter), frankly that’s just...a really unimpressive failure of feminist storytelling. Congratulations, you neglected the subject completely, at the same time as actively claiming your intent to do better than all that written-by-men schlock out there! What a tiresome charade this turned out to be.

Setting that aside though (difficult for me, as I am...very preoccupied with it), there was actually a good lot of things to like about this season, even if I do still feel that I ultimately have more criticisms than I do praise. Having Rebecca actually reach crisis point in the form of a suicide attempt, and consequently getting a diagnosis for her mental disorder and finally being able to move forward in learning to live a balanced life with BPD? Frankly, it’s not a move that I anticipated, and if you’d asked me where I thought Rebecca’s mental health plot was heading, I probably would have just shrugged it off as an unfocused thread where the ultimate goal was just ‘figure out how to be happy on your own terms instead of defining happiness through someone else’ (which is solid advice, but generalised advice, not something that would require the show to commit to a genuine mental illness). Acknowledging that Rebecca’s behaviour comes from a more distinct source than just the nebulous idea of being ‘crazy’ is a vitally important development, and it ushered in some of the best storytelling the show has offered thus far, at least when the plot maintained steady focus and made an effort to be responsible and mature in its exploration of the issue. As ever, there were still times when the show used Rebecca’s mental state for comic relief in a manner which made me uncomfortable, and times when I couldn’t interpret the intentions of the narrative - I have come to the conclusion that this show and I are on completely different wavelengths, which makes us a bad match, regardless of any elements which I do appreciate. 

On the subject of things I appreciate, I’m going to discuss the true character highlight of the show, someone I wanted to talk about after last season, not realising that if I held off until this review instead, he was gonna wind up so terribly underused in the meantime that it’s almost weird that he’s still technically part of the main cast at this point: Josh Chan. Josh Chan is...kinda the most believable part of this show, both in the bumbling good-natured balance of the character himself, and in other character’s feelings about him. Being able to buy the idea that someone would give up their whole life as they knew it to chase after this guy is kinda important to selling the concept of the show from the outset, and honestly, Josh Chan is the only time I’ve ever seen a central male love interest for whom the hype seemed to make sense. Is he perfect? Not by a long shot, but that’s fine because ‘perfection’ is as conditional as it is unattainable. The problem with male love interests, often, is that they’re written by heterosexual men who treat the character as some kind of masculine wish-fulfillment, a combination of ‘guy I wish I could be’ and ‘guy I think women should want (me)’. Josh Chan is a great example of a love interest written by women for women: he displays positive masculine-coded traits (protective, physically capable), while rejecting negative, toxic-masculine elements (aggression, possessiveness), and he embraces key ‘feminine’ traits (non-threatening, kind, soft, emotionally expressive, family-oriented), while his flaws are unobtrusive and potentially even endearing (the main one is that he’s quite stupid, which is something a lot of straight women will happily admit to liking (at least in theory), and other traits such as Josh’s childish streak can be a source of joy under some circumstances, as well as being something Josh mostly keeps a hold on so that it doesn’t become a burden to his partners). Also, it would be remiss of me to neglect to mention how refreshing and meaningful it is to have an Asian male love interest. I really enjoy not being bored to death by Josh Chan, and I am annoyed at how little of him we got this season while we wasted time with that generic slice of white bread, Nathaniel. Bring back the Chan plots, season four. Do it for me.

[hisband]

warning for the gor.illaz rpc & for the rpc in general.

as a lot of you probably know by now, i seldom get involved in callout posts unless the person in question appears to be a legitimate threat to the safety of others. but it has come to my attention that this particular individual does, in fact, appear to be genuinely harmful, deliberately so or not. this person is 666-MUR/DOC. below is evidence that has been gathered of the previously mentioned harmful behaviour.

major trigger warning below for ableism, erasure, transphobia / transphobic slurs, racism / interracial relationship fetishization, abuse / abuse fetishization, mentions of rape / rape fetishization and mentions of incest / incest fetishization.

at first glance, their rules seem reasonable enough. this person states that they will not force their partners into writing content they are uncomfortable with, that they respect boundaries, that they are not going to be writing with minors, etc. but then you keep clicking through the blog and look at the sort of content they’re interested in pursuing, and actively admit to be interested in pursuing...

...which, again, seems reasonable enough at first, right? nothing wrong with two consenting adults shipping or writing nsfw of adult characters. but then you look into what kind of smut and shipping they like to do and it’s, quite frankly, fucking deplorable. their “fetish list” can be found here. (in case any links get taken down, i have a dropbox with the evidence here, along with some of the other links and screencaps mentioned in this post.) please proceed with caution before you click on it. it’s very heavily triggering and incredibly gross. to spare those who don’t want to suffer through that experience, and to save time, i will be highlighting the most worrying items on that list - and believe me, there are a lot of those.

the topic of the 2.D/mur.doc ship is extremely touchy at best. the two share a toxic relationship, canonically, and a highly abusive one. i understand those who use this ship to cope, or those who portray the ship while fully acknowledging how problematic it is and treating it as an abusive relationship. while i can see that this writer is aware how abusive the relationship is, the impression i’m getting is that legitimate sexual pleasure is derived from the way mur.doc treats 2.D. i can’t say for absolute certain, but things like this art piece (major trigger warning for implications of sadism & abuse), along with these “kinks” below strongly suggest as much:

keep in mind that 2.D is someone who canonically suffers from brain trauma and struggles with his cognitive functions, and this is listed as a kink. very concerning. unfortunately, the list keeps going on.

there’s no such thing as “dubious consent”. there is yes and there is no. “dubious consent” is literal rape. other “kinks” saved under their “favourites” section is the following:

items under the “likes” section include:

...incest. listed as a kink. i hope i don’t need to explain why this is incredibly fucking bad.

while i am not a POC myself, i really don’t like the implications of interracial relationships being on a literal fetish list, nor do i like the fact that amputees (you know... living, breathing people) are also listed as a fetish.

also on the “likes” section of the list includes:

“nonconsensual”... again, that’s literal fucking rape. as for their “maybe” section, the following can be found:

way to be vile and transphobic.

and as you can see, nonbinary people are listed as “potential fetish material” as well.

this individual does have a disclaimer:

however, even if they use the excuse “it’s the character’s fetishes, not mine”, “this is fiction”, etc, then that just means they’re willing to use a fictional sexual abuse / trauma survivor’s visage (and yes, these are canon elements of the character; mur.doc’s traumatic upbringing has been brought up repeatedly by the canon gor.illaz writers, and there have been numerous canonical references to mur.doc being a rape survivor as well) to explore incredibly triggering topics in a very exploitative and harmful manner. this person is the one who made the decision to apply these traits to mur.doc’s character, for no other reason than the fact they wanted to. this person is still responsible for making their willingness to write this shit in a fetishistic nature known; if a person writes fetishized abuse, they are still writing fetishized abuse whether it’s them getting off on it or “just the character” getting off on it. they are still actively making the choice to put that content out there, to encourage it in some way, and to publicly broadcast themselves as someone who will collaboratively write it with someone else. they can slap mur.doc’s name over it all they want, but never once did his creators claim, nor did they have him claim, that these are things that he would do. this person expressing desire to write triggering, controversial material in a fetishistic manner was their own decision, and therefore they don’t get to hide behind the “it’s fictional” argument. they are the one made that list. they are the one who compiled that list. they’re just using a cartoon character’s face for it.

a couple other important points i want to make:

1) i find it interesting that they deny getting a thrill out of writing this type of content, yet made that earlier statement saying they “love writing that shit” in their rules page. even if they’re only doing this for a cheap laugh or pure entertainment as opposed to sexual gratification, it’s not funny, nor is it in good taste whatsoever.

2) what’s up with these being in their headcanon section:

...they do realize that the traits they just described mur.doc having (abandonment issues, unhealthy sexual tendencies, obsessive tendencies) are literal symptoms of mental illness, right? since when does having mental illness make anyone a “cinnamon bun”? just what are they implying here? and if people want to headcanon mur.doc as someone who is autistic or has tourettes, why is that such a bad thing? who is that hurting, exactly, and why are they so opposed to it to the point where they feel compelled to make a statement like that on their blog?

this goes way beyond just “alternate character interpretation”. this doesn’t have anything to do with the fact they write the same character as i do, nor is the fact that they’re depicting mur.doc in a negative light - because mur.doc has done evil, despicable things in canon, and those aspects of him should be portrayed in a way that lets the audience know that he is in the wrong. he is manipulative. he is horribly abusive towards 2.D and has mistreated countless other characters as well. he is prone to causing violence and mayhem. he has kidnapped people. there is no sugarcoating these traits, or making light of them, and you shouldn’t sugarcoat or make light of them. but you also should not be open to writing said traits in a fetishistic manner, nor any other of the topics mentioned in this post in a fetishistic manner, period, regardless of whether or not they’re “your” views or your character’s views. whether you mean to or not, you’re still making these things look idealized. that’s incredibly damaging on so many levels.

that being said - while the material presented is extremely concerning, this post does not encourage hate being sent to this person, nor is it is encouraging those who read it to even approach this person. this post is not telling you how to feel about this person or the circumstances. all i’m trying to do is warn those who may be negatively affected by this individual’s behaviour and the depiction of which they approach triggering topics to be very careful, and to do what they need to do in order to avoid them (i.e. blocking, unfollowing, blacklisting, etc).

ignore or disagree with this post if you wish. reblog this post if you wish. all i ask is that the situation does not turn into a full-blown war. that is not what i want and not why i made this post. just read what i’m saying objectively and come to your own conclusions about this information. do what you want with it. just be careful, above all else.

[animusalias-blog]

Feeling being Manipulated? How to Effectively Distinguish and Stay Away from Toxic People:

Before we get started on how manipulation works we needs to understand who frequently uses manipulation.

What is psychological manipulation?

A type of social influence that aims to change the behavior or perception of others through abusive, deceptive, or underhanded tactics.By advancing the interests of the manipulator, often at another's expense, such methods could be considered exploitative, abusive, devious, and deceptive. 

To explain it in a plainer way, psychological manipulation is making you to do what I want you to do, making you to feel the emotions I want you to feel. I don’t care about how fucked up the means are, and the ends usually benefit me.

As a result, it’s really important to distinguish healthy social influence (which respects the right of the influenced to accept or reject it) between psychological manipulation (underhanded and usually coercive)

Who usually engages in psychological manipulation?

First I want to stress that a personality disorder is a maladaptive fixed long-term behavioral pattern, so don’t worry if you occasionally behave like one or two categories mentioned below. It’s normal. Plus, official diagnosis of those mentioned above can only be made if the person is above 18 years old (shoutout to all edgy teens on tumblr). Although you can use self-reports, they can be inaccurate due to personal bias, and only a professional (e.g. certified psychiatrist) can give out the diagnosis. (So you can see why I’m not assorting respective characters in Ace Attorney to medical conditions mentioned below) 

According to Jernberg, antisocial, borderline, and narcissistic personality disorders are all organized at a borderline level of personality organization, and the three share some common characterological deficits and overlapping personality traits, with deceitfulness and exceptional manipulative abilities being the most common traits among the three.

Sociopaths, borderlines, and narcissists are often pathological liars.Other shared traits include pathological narcissism,consistent irresponsibility, machiavellianism, lack of empathy, cruelty, meanness, impulsivity, proneness to self-harm and addictions, interpersonal exploitation, hostility, anger and rage, vanity, emotional instability, rejection sensitivity, perfectionism, and the use of primitive defense mechanisms that are pathological and narcissistic. 

A sociopath (or a psychopath, usually referred as someone with antisocial personality disorder. Although there is still some controversy over the distinction among these three, I’m just going to use ‘psychopath’ as the term) is basically a person who has no affective empathy; exploitation is a primary means of relating to others. Irresponsible, impulsive, manipulative, deceitful, hostile, and callous. [below is excerpted from DSM IV-TR]

failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest;

deception, as indicated by repeatedly lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure;

impulsivity or failure to plan ahead;

irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults;

reckless disregard for safety of self or others;

consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations;

lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.

Borderline personality disorder is a long-term pattern of abnormal behavior characterized by unstable relationships with other people, unstable sense of self, and unstable emotions. There is often frequent dangerous behavior, a feeling of emptiness, self-harm, and an extreme fear of abandonment. [Source: Wikipedia]

Markedly disturbed sense of identity

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment and extreme reactions to such

Splitting ("black-and-white" thinking)

Impulsivity and impulsive or dangerous behaviours

Intense or uncontrollable emotional reactions that often seem disproportionate to the event or situation

Unstable and chaotic interpersonal relationships

Self-damaging behavior

Distorted self-image

Dissociation

Frequently accompanied by depression, anxiety, anger, substance abuse, or rage

Persons with Narcissistic Personality Disorder [according to DSM-V] usually display some or all of the following symptoms, typically without the commensurate qualities or accomplishments [Source: Wikipedia]:

Grandiosity with expectations of superior treatment from other people

Fixated on fantasies of power, success, intelligence, attractiveness, etc.

Self-perception of being unique, superior, and associated with high-status people and institutions

Needing continual admiration from others

Sense of entitlement to special treatment and to obedience from others

Exploitative of others to achieve personal gain

Unwilling to empathize with the feelings, wishes, and needs of other people

Intensely envious of others, and the belief that others are equally envious of them

Pompous and arrogant demeanor

TL;DR version of all three, in my words, a psychopath is a heartless outcast, your stereotypical villain/murderer, who thinks killing a person is no different from cutting carrots and will happily do it within a second; a borderline is needy, moody, insecure, who will threaten to kill themselves if they somehow think you will abandon them; a narcissist is someone controlling, blaming, self-absorbed, intolerant of others' views, unaware of others' needs and the effects of their behavior on others, and insist that others see them as they wish to be seen.

Why I write this long post?

I’m not saying all manipulators are these three kinds of people. There is indeed controversies regarding the classifications (for example, narcissism or psychopathy should be on a continuum instead of being categorized). I’m not saying you should be suspicious or hypervigilant of every single person. I’m not saying people are inherently bad, because each disorder only affect about 2% of the population. I’m helping you to trust/mistrust wisely and give your kindness to the people who deserves it.

1. I’m just saying if you find someone who exhibits some of these traits you should be cautious and don’t give them too mush trust/responsibility, or expect to be manipulated. If you are already with an abuser, then I encourage you to use the no contact rule or grey rock method to disengage from them. 

Why I’m telling you all this instead of simply stating “Leave toxic people”? Because a single simple statement didn’t give any actionable advice! Did every bad guy walk with a paper says“I am a bad guy” on the forehead? Of course not! 

2. Knowing the true colors of a manipulator can help you to effectively establish boundaries regardless of their words (glibness and superficial charm), promises (which will never be fulfilled) or innocent appearance (classic gas lighting technique). If they crossed your personal boundaries consciously and continue to manipulate you, burn the bridge. You know who they are and do not expect to change/heal them like in the movies (Psychopathy is, to a certain extent, a neurological disorder which caused their empathy deficit. The heritability of BPD has been estimated at 40%. NPD is notorious with their abusive relationship dynamics with the codependents )

3. If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. If you became too conscious of the viciousness of the three personality disorders and buy into the victim mindset, exaggerating the other’s wrongdoings and labeling them as personality disordered, Congratulations on the start to becoming a narcissist! I mean, be a healthy skeptic. 

Also, as you learn more about psychological tactics, constantly remind yourself to not become one of them and NEVER apply them, consciously or unconsciously, to others. Just don’t become the kind of people mentioned above.

[amycathryn]

Empathy 101

Mantis is My Hero

Caveat: Long read. It's less of a blog and more of an empathy course...

Not gonna lie. Mantis is da bomb.com. She is the first superhero on the big screen to have empathy as an actual superpower. If you don't know who Mantis is, and aren't as nerdy as I am, she's a prevalent character in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. I'm genuinely excited about her character for 2 reasons:

She has all of the abilities an advanced empath would have.

Her character is an inspiration for empaths.

As someone who's been empathic as long as I can remember, it's refreshing to see this ability interpreted as a superpower more than a curse. I myself have traversed the interwebs only to find articles mostly on how to tell if you're an empath, or how to cope with it—not really any on how to harness it or increase it.

Another reason I'm writing this is because clients and friends alike keep asking me how to deal with their empathy on an overwhelming scale. So, I'll not only go into detail on what empathy is, why we have it and the signs of empathy (along with external links), but also the pros, cons and empathic hygiene. I also fully intend to come out with an Empathy 201 blog/course at a later date that goes into more detail.

Ok. So What is Empathy?

Well, from my research there are two definitions. One is used by psychologists, while the other is more prevalent amongst spiritualists.

The psychological definition of empathy defines it in regards to emotional intelligence—The ability to understand what others are feeling within their own frame of reference. It's the ability to gauge the emotions of others and "step into their shoes" so to speak.

The spiritual definition of empathy is having the ability to sense other people's energy and take on the feelings of others as their own. An empath is often times energetically influenced by people around them (even if they can't see the person). They can take on another person's dreams, emotions, physical pains and even mood swings. 

The difference between the two terms is their origins. The psychological term relates to how well one person can psychologically understand another on an emotional scale (which can be a learned trait), while the spiritualist term is more energetically-based (and is an inherent gift that manifests both naturally and with discipline). In this blog we'll go into detail on the spiritualist meaning of empathy.

Signs You're an Empath 

Here's a list of the traits that most empaths have in common. If you find yourself saying "that sounds like me" to a majority of items on this list—then chances are, you're an empath too! 

Caveat: I'm not a psychologist, psychiatrist or doctor. Some traits may also be signs of potential psychological issues. I leave that to your best judgement—so if you feel you may need help, then please seek out a professional.

You can feel the emotions of others regardless to proximity. They can be the person in the cubicle next to you or a good friend in another state.

You always have an uncanny way of telling how others really feel, even if they put on a mask. You can know how they're feeling even if you don't see them or hear them at all. You just know.

Being highly sensitive either physically, emotionally or both. This can include foods, music and having emotions that run deep. You may bruise easily or have odd skin allergies. You may have even been called "too sensitive" because of these feelings.

You love nature. Nature energizes you and you feel at home when out in nature—whether it's camping, walking in the park or simply just being outside. 

Crowds drain you. Especially after being around people for a period of time.

You're introvert or lean introvert. This one is huge amongst empaths that I've seen. Usually the stronger the empath, the more introvert they are.

You crave solitude. Being alone recharges you and helps you focus both mentally and emotionally.

Animals love you and are drawn to you (because they can sense empaths).

People say you're a great listener and find it easy to talk to you.

You are drawn to help people through teaching, counseling or healing.

It pains you or discomforts you to come into physical contact with others.

You always know how the people closest to you feel.

You can tell when someone is lying to you.

You can tell if someone likes you or has feelings for you—and maybe even how much.

You get reliable gut "feelings" about people—you know good people from bad people when you see them.

Perfect strangers walk up to you and start talking to you about their personal problems.

You get odd mood swings when you're in crowds more so than when you're at home.

You get odd physical pains (such as headaches or cramps) in crowds more so than when you're at home.

You get stressed or anxious when you have to go to the grocery store or places where large groups of people congregate.

Anxiety attacks happen primarily around groups of people (versus when you're by yourself).

You drink or use other drugs because it "numbs" you—you know it "helps" you deal with being around people for extended periods of time. Caveat: Imbibing to cope with empathy is never the best solution. Please read the empathic hygiene section on healthier ways to do so.

You loathe liars. You can not only tell a liar when you see one, but you have a very low tolerance for them.

You actively remove yourself from drama and drama queens—because they drain you. You can tell a drama queen from a mile away and they always leave you feeling drained after you've been around them for any period of time.

You have weight issues. Many empaths have weight gain or weight problems because they're subconsciously creating a physical shield against others due to their hypersensitivity.

You're a people pleaser. It's hard to say "no" when you know it will bring someone else joy—even if it hurts you.

You have an unshakable drive to help/serve others.

When you're having a conversation with someone, especially if it is emotional or deep, you have a hard time discerning where your emotions stop and the other person's emotions begin.

You can always see both sides of the argument—which can even make arguing difficult because you forget your emotional position!

You're creative and a creative thinker.

People find it easy to tell you deep, personal stuff.

You make friends VERY easily, but don't feel close to a majority of them as it tends to mostly be the friend talking and you listening.

Music, inspiring quotes, movies and other creative outlets have a tendency to provoke deep emotions within you.

When you touch someone, you can feel their emotions with a deep and almost indescribable understanding.

You dislike horror movies or movies with excessive yelling or violence.

You tend to be drawn to people who are suffering. It's not uncommon to find empaths in a toxic or enabling relationship.

You avoid being "in the way" of others or asking for help because you're afraid you will be a burden to them.

What Being an Empath is Like

It's easy to forget the energetic aspect of life when you're in "work mode" or doing daily chores—but the empathy never really stops. Even I forget that sometimes. Touching people is difficult, and sometimes even painful—so big crowds (regardless of the amount of shielding I do) can be a challenge. I usually have to mentally prepare myself before going into a grocery store.

Perhaps the biggest issue in overcoming being an empath (for me at least) is finding friends that are energizing. Those are the people you can have deep, meaningful conversations with that spark your drive (versus the people who just want to talk about their problems). There are plenty of people out there who want the empath to be their friend—but only so the empath is there to listen more so than have a mutual relationship. Discovering friends with a deep zest for life that actually listen can be an absolute treasure of a find.

On the same token, it's a privilege to see the humanity in every individual I encounter. Just about everyone feels and has some goodness in their hearts. Being able to see that is a gift and a blessing. Helping people foster this spark through empathy is also a privilege. Touching someone and allowing that deep, emotional connection to establish with them, sometimes just for a moment, is also a gift—even if it's painful sometimes. The best way I can describe it is it restores my faith in humanity—being able to feel the humanity in another. Being momentarily a part of the humanity in another.

Pros & Cons

Pros of Being an Empath:

Here's a list of the positive attributes of being an empath. Please don't abuse your gifts. Karma can (and will) be a real bitch if you use them for selfish reasons. Always ask for a sign from God to use your empathic gifts with others, and if you are going to do heavy empathic work on an individual, their verbal consent is mandatory. Always remember: just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should.

Automatically knowing the emotional mood of a crowd (and have the ability to sway it).

You can easily gain the trust of people .

The ability to sense the types of connections people have with the the ones they're close to (both good and bad).

You can change the emotions of another person .

You can tell when someone is lying.

The ability to see into another person's emotional memories—what their memories are (especially the emotionally charged ones).

The ability to see into another person's home.

The ability to see into another person's soul—you can see the good, the bad and the potential in their hearts.

The ability to sense other psychics, intuitives, psionics and basically anyone who knows and is aware of energy on one level or another. More advanced empaths can sense the degree in which the abilities others have, and possibly even latent abilities.

The ability to change the emotional state of a crowd.

The ability to alleviate the pain in others by taking it on as your own (but don't do this—just send it into the ground).

Cons of Being an Empath:

Here's a list of the negative attributes of being an empath. I put these out there as a sort-of caveat for those wishing to increase their empathic gifts. Be prepared to deal with these issues on a higher level if you intend to increase your spiritual gifts.

Intimacy can be difficult—touching others is something an empath may subconsciously or actively try to avoid.

Feeling drained after being in a group for a long period of time.

Getting headaches, emotions or pains out of the blue that aren't the empath's own.

Being drained around certain individuals (usually energy vampires or bad people in general)

Going weeks without being alone for an extended period of time can increase anxiety, fatigue, mood swings and even depression in some highly sensitive empaths.

Knowing things about others that you don't want to know because they touched you (i.e., that they like you, hate you, or a bad childhood memory).

Having difficulty focusing in large crowds.

You get fed up with your lower-vibrating (energy) friends. Fast. This happens a lot with people who experienced an empathic "boost" later in life. You become much less tolerant to those around you that aren't your "true" friends.

A subconscious tendency to take on the moods of others. This can be both an advantage and a disadvantage, depending on the circumstances. I put it under "cons" because if you're not consciously guarding yourself empathically, you can subconsciously be emotionally swayed by others very easily.

Empathic Hygiene

Just like brushing your teeth or putting on deodorant, empathy requires hygiene too. We try to remember to use deodorant and brush our teeth every day—so should that mentality flow into taking care of our energetic selves and our empathic gifts. To not only increase your abilities, but also be a healthy empath, you must know and practice these three things: Cutting Cords, Grounding, and Shielding.

Cutting Cords

Cutting cords is probably the most important thing any empath should know regarding their gifts. This is because cords are what make up empathy. Every time you come into contact with someone on any level, you are connecting to them via an invisible energetic tether. You do this (subconsciously) with everyone you are near, touch or even make eye contact with every day (to one degree or another). You will also tend to have very strong cord connections with the people you're closest to. 

Cutting these cords is necessary for the well-being of every empath—otherwise, we'll be continuously bogged down with the emotional energy of all the people we have ever come into contact with. Often times we can have both good and bad cords connected to the same person—so it's helpful to understand the difference between the types of cords before cutting them (don't throw the baby out with the bath water, so to speak).

An exercise I like to do on a daily basis is what I like to call the "guillotine" method. I imagine a guillotine "slicing away" at the negative cords I have with others. Works like a charm every time. Other methods include praying for Archangel Michael to clear the energy away, the "plucking" method (where you "pluck" the cord out of you), and just plain standing with your back to a tree. Trees are amazing about taking our negative energy and grounding it.

The trick is visualization. Visualization is key to understanding and utilizing energy—and empathy.

Grounding

Grounding is necessary to stay focused and also a great way to remove toxic energy from the body. It helps us center ourselves here in the physical world. I ground all the time—especially before and after every reading I do. Many religions and even some forms of martial arts (such as qigong exercises in Tai Chi) incorporate grounding into their practices.

Grounding, in summary, is connecting to Mother Earth—putting your energy in the earth, so to speak. Grounding is an excellent way to reduce stress, anxiety and helps bring balance to your body's energy. I'll often times recommend grounding to a client that I see is unfocused, afraid or "fuzzy brained". There are a number of ways to ground, but my favorite method is what I call the "roots" method.

The roots method goes like this: You can be sitting or standing—it doesn't matter. Just begin to imagine roots growing out of your feet and into the ground. You can be 30 stories high—just imagine your feet growing roots that sink into the ground. It may take time, especially if this is your first try, but you'll feel a "shift" when you've successfully grounded your energy.

Then imagine all of the negative energy in your body just falling into the ground. The earth can take whatever energy you throw at her—and she transmutes it into good energy. 

Stones can also be an excellent method for grounding. Sometimes I'll recommend darker stones to clients who need assistance with grounding. Good stones for grounding include smokey quartz, black tourmaline, hematite, nuumite, shungite and obsidian. Darker brown/black stones in general tend to be great for grounding, protection, and even transmuting negative energy into positive energy. If you're interested in using stones to assist in grounding, I would recommend going to your local metaphysical shop and picking up a few of the aforementioned stones and see what resonates with you. One of them will just "feel right" when you hold it.

And finally, another excellent way to ground is to take a salt bath. Salt baths rock and can become highly addictive! I recommend this to a majority of my empathic clients. It's excellent for extracting toxic energy and calming the mind. I do this probably about twice a month. It's a great way to "reset" the energetic body if you're feeling tired or drained. Not to mention, it helps with softening the skin and muscle aches if you use epsom salts. The only down side is you'll probably need to clean out your bathtub first.

Shielding

Shielding, simply put, is an energetic term for blocking the energy of others. It's a great way to protect yourself, much like you protect your feet by wearing shoes when you go outside. It acts as a barrier against the "raw" emotions of others.

There are probably a thousand methods to shield—ranging from simple to advanced. For the sake of this blog/course (being a "101" blog/course) I'll keep it simple. I may write on the more advanced ways to shield at a later date. 

Shielding, as with other ways to harness energy (empathic or otherwise) requires "feeling" and visualization. A great method of shielding I recommend for clients is the "Glenda the Good Witch" bubble. If you've seen the Wizard of Oz, you probably remember the scene where Glenda the Good Witch in all of her splendor floated down to the good citizens of Munchkin Land in a beautiful rainbow bubble. 

Well, like Glenda, imagine yourself in this beautiful rainbow bubble—filled with light and peace. Imagine it surrounding you from front to back, head to toe. Visualize it growing a thick, impermeable shell—and tell it to last all day. I recommend shielding every day–especially if you will be around other people. This shield will help keep you from establishing unnecessary or unwanted empathic cords with others and vice versa. 

When you shield (and do so often) you'll notice an improvement in your energy and ability to be around others for longer periods of time without growing tired quickly.

Increasing Your Empathy

So after all that reading you still want to increase your empathy, eh?

Well, there are several methods to do so. The first being meditation. Yeah, I know. None of us really have the time for that. But we make time for the things we want, and meditation is the best way to increase your abilities overall. This is because meditation helps you become more aware of your energy and sense it better because it forces you to inflect.

Porcupines.

Yes, porcupines. I see empathy and the empathic abilities of others as porcupines. It's like a thousand tendrils spilling out of a person—with many of them connecting to the tendrils of another. Visualize your tendrils—your porcupine needles—growing. If that is difficult, inflect on your relationships with others. watch how that shifts your mentality and thought patterns. This is what empathy feels like. It's that shift because you're "honing" in on that person. You can even practice with a friend that's interested in increasing their empathy as well. Focus on connecting to each other and notice the shift. That's the energetic shift of empathy. Just be sure to always cut the cord after you're done with the exercise. 

Another method is to work with a friend and guess how they're feeling without looking at their face or body language. Try standing with your back to them and feel what their emotions are. Then turn around and see. Take turns putting yourself into different emotional states (with your backs turned) and get a feel for their emotions.

In Conclusion

The key to increasing empathy isn't power or energy per se—it's discernment. It's the ability to keenly understand the energy around you, and how it works. 

Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility. I strongly recommend reading my previous blog post on the ethics of being psychic.

Please use your superpowers for good. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to contact me.

Good Luck! 

[lycorogue]

Glitches: The GRID (part 1)

So, @cyhyr​ opened a can of worms by asking about Glitches, and now you are all forced to read about everything I have built for it thus far.

Muahahahahahaha!

But first, if you don’t know what I’m talking about, you can see Cy’s ask and my history of the world of Glitches here. I think one of the main things for me when it comes to creating Glitches is to categorize the powers and physical abnormalities. In part, because it’s a natural human thing to do, and so this categorizing would canonically happen anyway, but also in part so I can make sure to keep the powers in check and not go too OP with some of my characters.

Here’s a quick history (for reals, it’s only 3 paragraphs long):

To try to help keep track of what to expect when dealing with Glitches, the United Nations created the Glitch Classification System; a universal categorizing of Glitches based on their physical evolution and super-human abilities. There are five main branches known as “Species” of Glitch: Beast, Mind, Tweaker, Evoker, and Mage. Beasts refer to anyone with physical traits that aren't normal to Homo Sapiens: wings, odd skin tone, heightened senses, etc. Minds are essentially telepaths and telekinetics, but also include any Glitches that can do any sort of manipulation with their mind, or are hyper-intelligent. Tweakers can alter either their own or another's DNA. This can be as simple as advanced healing or altering skin density, or it could be as advanced as power mimicry. Evokers can manipulate the elements, or manipulate energy such as magnetic force, gravity, or kinetic energy. Finally, there are the “odd balls” known as Mages. They can manipulate physics itself in a manner typically described as “magic” or “supernatural”. Such examples are teleportation, probability manipulation, and precognition. Each “Species” has a varying amount of sub-categories known as “Classes”. A Glitch who fits in multiple Species-Classes is known as as a “Multi,” as in multi-class. A Glitch whose genetic abnormalities fit them in multiple “Species” is called a “Hybrid.”

The Glitch Classification System is compiled into the Glitch Registry and Identification Database: aka The GRID. Up until five years prior to the main Glitches storyline, it was a requirement for every human categorized as a Glitch to be added to The GRID before they gain the right to vote. Most were even added to The GRID at birth if they were a Beast Glitch, or during their school years if their powers manifested and could be recorded during normal health evaluations.

Now that it is (at least temporarily) deemed unconstitutional to force a Glitch to be registered on The GRID, most educators, physicians, and parents only use The GRID as a reference guide to know what powers the child has and how to handle them/train them. It is rare that a Glitch gets officially registered on The GRID anymore, but some still feel it is their civic duty to register as a means of showing Acts of Faith; proving they are not dangerous to society.

For some more complete examples, check below the break for some power break-downs of the main characters of Glitches.

The Adult Reworks: These characters were all once canonical X-Men universe characters. I’m hoping I altered them enough that they don’t feel like rip-offs. Please alert me if you feel I need to rework any of them a bit more. (Also, I don’t have last names for anyone yet. I’m a slacker...)

Matteo: Registration: Beast-Tweaker Hybrid; Beast Class: enhanced senses and reflexes, also classified as a “Norm-Beast” (someone who fits the Beast category but still has an average human appearance); Tweaker Class: advanced healing

He can heal at an elevated rate, and he has heightened senses. Being a Beast-class Glitch, his powers developed in the womb, instead of manifesting at puberty. He has always had the elevated senses and healing. He can pick up scents, as well as hear more clearly and further, all more akin to animals than humans. His elevated touch allows him to pick up vibrations easier. For instance, when a person touches railroad tracks to determine if a train is out of sight down the line. With a literal blink of an eye, he can switch his sight over into infrared.

Emily: Registration: Evoker-Beast Hybrid; Evoker Class: Energy Charmer; Beast Hybrid Element: Magenta-colored eyes 

Emily's Evoker ability focuses on energy; namely the ability to manipulate the kinetic energy in the atoms around her. The “Charmer” class is because energy cannot be created nor destroyed, so she can only manipulate it. Specifically, she can shift an object between having kinetic and potential energy. There is a lot to unpack with this, so I’ll save it for another post. While she is not a Mind-hybrid at all, her powers have a side-effect that gives her a strong resistance to Mind Glitches. The constant change between kinetic and potential energy around her causes a sort of "static" that messes with the mental waves Mind Glitches use to manipulate their victims. A strong enough Mind Glitch can navigate the "static" to still affect her. She can also concentrate on keeping the energy around her at its natural state; removing the "Static" completely, which is helpful for when she actively wishes for telepaths to reach her mind for whatever reason.

Ryder: Registration: Mind; Class: Silver-Tongue

A form of verbal hypnosis. Silver-Tongues can use their power to convince others that everything they say is true, or compel them to do whatever the Silver-Tongue wants. There are three main restrictions to this power, but I will save these details for another post.

Keahi: Registration: Evoker-Beast-Mind triple Hybrid; Evoker Class: Earth Summoner; Norm-Beast Multi-Class: enhanced endurance, and elemental immunity; Mind Class: limited telekinesis

There’s a lot to unpack with Keahi, but the main thing is that she can produce and manipulate granite. All sub-powers derive from that fact. Her main use of this power is to encase her body in granite in an almost instantaneous, reflexive full-body armor. She can also create things by manipulating the shape of granite, such as weapons, doors, ladders, etc. She can shift the ground my moving granite encased in the ground, which leads to the Mind sub-category. Her telekinesis is limited to granite. She can move it with her mind, including hovering it in the air and “throwing” it large distances. Anything that has at least 30% granite in it, she can manipulate telekinetically. Her Evoker powers alone take up about 4 paragraphs on her bio sheet, so I won’t fully get into it here. The “elemental immunity” sub-category allows her to thrive around lava: increased skin density; reflexive encasing of granite that allows her to STAND IN LAVA for up to 30min; extra coating on her eyes to protect against heat; expanded heat tolerance so her skin won’t burn when touched by most flame heat (up to 2500-degrees Fahrenheit before the granite auto-covers); and extra filtration in her lungs to protect against ash and toxic fumes usually connected to volcanic eruptions. There’s a lot more there, but I’ll save it for another post.

Cody: Registration: Tweaker; Class: Soul Splitter/Cloning

Soul-Splitters are able to convert a fresh drop of their blood into an exact copy of themselves. These clones default to mindless drones with a “hive mind”, however, controlling the hive-minded drones tends to use all mental ability of the original. Because of this, Cody tends to utilize the “soul splitting” part of his powers to give his clones autonomy. In other words, when he creates the copy, he can “gift” him some of his consciousness. The downside is that whatever knowledge and/or personality component Cody “gives” to his clone is locked from him until the clone is destroyed - either by being killed, or by being converted back into a drop of blood by Cody’s will. Cody prefers willing the clones away because the trauma of them dying causes him migraines, the intensity of which is determined by how many clones are dying at once, and how much pain they feel when they die. He can’t will them away without being within twenty feet of them, though. Once the bit of “soul” is returned to Cody - either through him dismissing the clones or them dying - he gains all knowledge and experience his clone gained. It was a great way to become a quadruple-major in college while still enjoying some partying. There is a lot more involved with this power, but that’ll be saved for another post.

Ignatius “Iggy”: Registration: Evoker-Beast Hybrid; Evoker Class: Fire-Charmer; Beast Class: elemental immunity; Beast Hybrid element: gold-colored eyes

He’s in a Pyro-Evoker subset that’s not quite as evolved; power wise. He can’t create (evoke) fire, but he can manipulate existing fire. Something as large as a burning building to something as small as a simple spark or dying ember; he can manipulate the fire however he pleases. He can shrink or grow the flame, regardless of amount of fuel feeding it. He can also bend the flames into whatever shape he wants. His favorite is a flame whip. The concentration of the flow of flame actually makes it tangible, and so being hit with his flame whip won’t only burn, but it will also sting just like an actual whip would. The flame whip can also lasso objects so he can swing using it or bring and object to him using it. He also has full immunity to flame, making him incapable of being burnt by fire or smothered by smoke.

Okay, this already ran longer than I originally planned... the main OC cast will be put on The GRID in the next post....