#making a tag in case I come up with more ideas

[elenasalvatore1]

First of all, the hinny tag does not mean that only the praise of hinny should be used. Everyone has their own idea of Hinny and can give any opinion to this ship. ( canon fans often do it to non-canon ships)

Ginny has plenty of time in the book to show her interest I Quidditch earlier. But she didn’t do it. We don't see her among the fans, she doesn't even support her brothers who play Quidditch. We learn about her training from the words of Hermione, who learned it from Ginny. Where is any evidence that Ginny did not say a lie?

In the fifth book, Ginny just plays well, and in the sixth book, she just becomes an athlete. So I can’t say that Ginny was too busy with her trainings.

Yes, I really think Quidditch is Ginny's way of getting closer to Harry. Ginny is just an ordinary stalker. She's a fan of Harry. In her own words, she "never gave up on the idea of being with Harry," she asked Hermione's advice on how to be with Harry. And then, all of a sudden, she becomes interested in Quidditch. It looks like a very cheap way to win over Harry, especially after his infatuation with Cho. So yes, this is an attempt to become interesting for Harry. And it is Rowling's attempt to make Ginny at least a little interesting for readers (which did not realise , so Ginny remained a gray, selfish, boorish mouse).

Hinny's book version is described as teenage hormonal lust, and Ginny doesn't deserve more than that. This will last at most until the end of school.

My favorite thing of the post is an attempt to start putting pressure on Harry and Hermione's lack of interest. Unfortunately, this statement only shows that the text is not being analyzed. There are a ton of essays of the potential of Harmony with a lot of quotes from books. But canon fans prefer ignore any critique.

Firstly, Rowling forced an unhealthy relationship as much as possible by fulfilling her wishes, so Harry's affection for Ginny's character in the sixth book looks very strange, especially when he was being bullied during all his childhood. Secondly, relationships tend to change. Many supporters of harmony come from the development of harmony relationships during and after the war. So many of us think that hinny is possible as short school romance. However, the text of the books shows the closeness between Harry and Hermione, their story, experience, the trust, the devotion, the understanding between Harry and Hermione, their acceptance each other that Ginny cannot dream about something similar in books, movies, or even hinny fanfiction. There is lust in hinny, and there is love in harmony. Ginny is for the first, Hermione is for the second.

And finally:

usually it is said that Ginny has a lot of advantages, but it is exaggerating of her fans.

Ginny is “stubborn”- it’s funny, because Ginny couldn't even stand up to Molly before the battle. Harry is stubborn there. she could be a bit stubborn only with her brother Ron. Ginny has a good sense of humor - Ginny has a sense of humor built on insulting and ridiculing others (this is a bad sense of humor),

she has a big heart - it's just ridiculous, since the only moment is her support of a girl in battle, where Ginny showed at least some kindness. But in other cases, She insults, casts curses, uses the opponent's vulnerable sides in an argument, she is quite indifferent to Malfoy's injury with a Harry”s curse (she justifies Harry), calls Luna a loony behind her back and makes faces to Fleur, calling her phlegm.This is not a kind person. Ginny is just a rude, selfish girl who wants to appear cool at the expense of others.

Ginny Weasley could have been a good background character, I wrote about her potential, but JKR turned her into bad person.

just saw someone say that ginny’s interest in quidditch is only an attempt to get harry to like her… like are we being for real right now..? saying ginny didn’t show interest in quidditch until book 4…. yeah bc girlie was barely in those books we didn’t know shit about what she was interested in bc harry didn’t have that much to do with her, and as the books are from his perspective, obviously we’re in the dark about a lot with regards to her, her interests, her hobbies etc. by book 5 it’s clear she has been flying since she was 6 years old??? breaking into the broomshed at home and flying when her brothers in secret, and she’s darn good at it too. just because she doesn’t vocalise this interest in front of the boy who she’s got a huge crush on and who saved her life (as a result is very shy in front of him also), doesn’t mean those interests don’t exist. the way ginny is set up is never to discredit hermione’s personality/accomplishments (unless you can’t comprehend the text, and shipped hermione with harry even tho it’s clear neither party were interested in each other). the two of them have very different goals, personalities and interests. i don’t think the text tells you to put ginny above hermione at all.

ginny is a sporty type with a stubborn nature, great sense of humour and a big heart. reducing her to someone who only likes a sport because her crush does is so degrading to her as a character. also get this sh*te out of the hinny tag.

[crowsofdarkness]

Moment Of Weakness: Chapter Twenty

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Content Warnings: language, 18 + smut, angst, fluff, affair, cheating, violence, kidnapping, faking a pregnancy.

Summary: Reader is the assistant to New York's most feared mob boss, James Buchanan Barnes. He had the picture-perfect life: status in the mob, friends, and beautiful wife. So why can't he keep his mind and eyes off of reader?

Authors Note: I just wanted to remind everyone who reads this, there are heavy moments of cheating/having an affair in this story. You might not agree with the actions of "reader" or Bucky but it does pertain to the storyline. If anyone is interested, tags are open for this! Just send me a message or comment!

Tags: @cjand10 @generalmoonpolice @sapphirebarnes @baw1066 @nameless-ken @minami97

The tension in the small office was too thick, it enclosed around my throat and I was unable to breath at times while feeling his stare bore into my back. His heated gaze would follow my every movement as I walked around the open area, doing my best to work and keep myself from locking eyes with him. 

It worked; for the first few hours. 

Today was the first day back at work after wallowing in my own self pity for the last week and a half. Needless to say, from the second I stepped foot inside, it had been so awkward to be around Bucky. He kept to himself in his office, the door opened half way, but when he saw me arrive at my desk he didn’t bother to talk to me. He knew that it would only result in one thing. 

Either me smacking him or yelling at him. 

He was right. 

If it wasn’t for Steve, I probably would still be home in my bed and staining my pillow cases with more tears than arguably necessary. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

I didn’t bother to look over my shoulder in the doorway, knowing who was leaning against it with their arms crossed over his chest. 

“How’d you get in, Steve?” I breathed. 

“The spare key you keep hidden under the mat,” he informed. “You do know you’ve been gone for the last week.” 

“Nine days,” I corrected while pulling the covers closer to my chin. “You can let yourself out the same way.” 

Steve sighed and was soon kneeling in front of me, his gentle fingers brushing the hair out of my face. My eyes fluttered shut at the feeling and for a moment, I forgot about the pain I had been in. 

“He’s not worth all of this, Y/N.” Steve motioned to the current state I was in. 

Unwashed hair, sunken eyes, tear stained cheeks, and my body buried underneath my piles of blankets on my bed. 

“I made a fool of myself,” I let out a shaky breath. 

Steve’s large hand began rubbing comforting circles on my back. “You do foolish things when you’re in love.” 

My eyes widened. “I’m not-.” 

He didn’t bother to let me finish, explaining how I was not in love with Bucky Barnes. 

“Why else would you consistently go back to him, Y/N? After all the hurt he put you through?” 

I parted my lips, wracking my brain to come up with a good answer, but they seized shut when nothing came out. 

As much as I didn't want to admit, Steve was right. 

I was in love with Bucky Barnes. 

My hand cupped his cheek. “I let the best guy go, huh?” 

A chaste kiss was placed on the inside of my palm before Steve yanked the blankets off of me. The cold air from my open window danced around the barness of my legs and I whined, wanting to feel the warmth yet again. 

“You have twenty minutes to get ready, otherwise I’m dragging you into work kicking and screaming.” 

Thankfully Steve didn’t have to drag me into work, I came willingly. Much to the dismay of the screaming voice in my mind that this was a bad idea. 

Some people may think that a job isn’t worth seeing your ex lover almost every day but when there’s one person there that makes it bearable, you don’t want to leave them. 

I glanced up towards the office across from my desk where Steve was lounging on the couch, sketch book in his lap. He looked away for a moment, eyes catching mine, and gave me a small smile. My heart dropped, knowing that with my own stupidity I had let him go, ruining any chances with him. 

“Idiot,” I muttered to myself. 

The front door opened and bounding inside with a bright smile was Natasha as her soft voice called out a hello to everyone.

I turned my back and continued working on the schedule for today. 

“Oh, Y/N! Did you hear the news?” 

I cursed under my breath before spinning around in my chair and gave her a nod. “I did. Congratulations.” 

“It’s so exciting! I’m still so early so it’s a bit scary telling everyone but I can’t help it.” She sat in the chair across from my desk, making herself at home. 

My lips pulled in a tight line. “Yeah, I bet.” 

“Bucky is going to be such a great dad. He’s so excited that he’s been looking up baby names on google.” 

Ignoring the stinging pain in my heart, I did my best to make sure she noticed that I had a lot of work to do by pointing to it. 

“I really should get back to work. Bucky left a list of things for me to catch up on that I missed.” 

Natasha waved me off. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if us girls talked for a few minutes.” 

I sighed, defeated. “Sure.” 

“So.”

She started to ramble on some more about how excited she was that she and Bucky were finally starting a family. According to her, they have been wanting kids for years but Bucky never felt that they were in a good spot in the marriage to start. 

“What made him change his mind?” I forced myself to ask, secretly wanting to know. 

Natasha tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “If I’m being honest, it was an accident. He’s always been safe, using a condom every time, but that night he couldn't contain himself. Practically threw himself at me.” 

I swallowed thickly, the pain becoming too much for my fragile heart to handle Although, there still was something else I needed to know. 

“How far along are you?” 

“Only six weeks so we still have a long way to go,” she smiled. 

I curled a brow with confusion. “Bucky told me you’re a few months along?.” 

Natasha’s face twitched as her shoulders dropped, but she quickly recovered by waving her hand around. “Oh, same thing. Is he busy?” 

She was quick to change the subject which only made the alarm bells in my mind ring even louder about this whole situation. 

Suddenly, Bucky’s presence was felt behind me which caused Natasha to quickly jump to her feet and wrap her arms around him. As they shared a kiss, I forced myself to look away like I did so many times before. 

“I thought I heard your voice,” Bucky said. 

“I was in the neighborhood and thought to have lunch with you.”

Bucky shifted on his feet. “Why today? You haven’t shown up in the office since last week.” 

This caught my attention and I peeked an ear to listen. 

“So what do you say, lunch?” Natash asked yet again in hopes of avoiding another conversation. 

“Y/N?” 

My eyes landed on Bucky, hearing my name fall from his lips made my heart skip a beat. 

“Hm?”

He wrapped an arm around Natasha’s shoulder. “How does my schedule look this afternoon?” 

I gave him a small smile. “You’re actually booked up. Mr. Stark is coming in to sign the contract for your new project together and Dr. Banner is at two o'clock so he can present his idea to you.” 

Bucky’s eyes lingered on my lips before he nodded, giving Natasha his attention yet again. “Rain check?” 

“You can’t spare even ten minutes?” She pouted. 

He shook his head while placing a kiss on top of her head, this causing me to look away again. 

“I’ll make it up to you with dinner.” 

They conversed for a few more minutes before Natasha reluctantly left, leaving Bucky remaining in his previous spot behind me. I kept my eyes trained hard on the screen in front of me, not bothering to give him an ounce of attention. 

“Y/N,” he breathed my name. 

I continued to ignore him even though my heart began to hammer hard in my chest, especially when he knelt down next to me, his hand resting on my knee. 

“Can you please talk to me?” 

The wheels of my chair scraped against the floor as I pushed myself away from him. 

“I have a lot of work to do,” I simply stated. 

He let out a low breath before standing to his feet and began following me as I walked into the breakroom, the door shutting behind us. 

“I missed you.” 

I spun on my heels. “Dont.” 

His eyes were filled with so much angst and sorrow that I almost fell for it. 

Almost. 

“You were gone over a week, I want to make sure you’re okay,” Bucky said. 

I shook my head with a set gaze. “You don’t get the right to ask me how I’m doing or say that you miss me when it’s your fucking fault that I’m like this.” 

“Y/N.” 

“Leave me alone, Bucky. Please. You need to focus on your family now, stop worrying about me,” I said while tears pricked in my eyes. 

“All I can think about is you. I miss you.” Bucky leaned against the counter in the room. 

I held firm, only giving him a nod. “Well it seems like it’s a one sided feeling because I don’t miss you.” 

His eyes narrowed. “Bullshit.” 

The inside of my cheek caught between my teeth, knowing that my lie was detected right away. 

“I’m not going to keep doing this dance with you, Bucky,” I ran a hand through my hair. “I’m only here to do my job then go home at the end of the day; alone. Or with someone, depending on how I’m feeling.” 

He pushed himself off of the counter, a shaky breath escaping him as his ips pulled in a tight, angry line. 

“You’re already seeing someone?” 

I scoffed, eyes drilling into him deep. “If I was, it’s not your fucking business.” 

“Is it Steve?” 

The way his voice cracked at the name echoed in my ears but I continued to stand tall in front of him, not letting him see how bad I had been hurting. 

“No, I lost that chance because I chose you. And look where that got me,” I admitted while looking at my feet. “Fuck this, I’m going back to work.”

We stared at each other for a few beats before I walked past him, ripping my arm out of his grasp as he reached for me. 

[thewrittenqueer]

Fic Idea

Regulus usually makes friends with one marauder first before the rest of the group. Now usually that is Remus or James. However the angst potential of Peter and Regulus being friends first to traitor Peter is amazing.

—--

Back at the dorms Remus, James, and Sirius are all hanging out. Peter keeps trying to join/talk to them but they unknowingly keep talking over him or ignoring him. Upset he decides to leave and head to the quidditch pitch. There Regulus, unable to sleep, is in the stands after laps on his broom.

They see each other and assume the other is going to attack them. Though they both realize not only is this not the case but both of them are upset. Deciding f*ck it they start talking.

Quickly realizing that surprisingly they really understand the other.

They both understand that bravery is not as easy as their brother/friends make it out to be. Also the constant feeling like the tag-along friend in Peter’s case or the spare in Regulus’s. As well as the feeling of never being enough

Peter isn’t naturally adept in magic like Sirius and James or have an easy knack for studying and learning like Remus does. Plus while his friends are viewed as extremely handsome he’s viewed as the duff of the group. Nor does he possess the natural charm or appear as affable as they do.

On the other hand, Regulus knows that people prefer his more popular and confident brother. In their books he’s too shy, too quiet or too gloomy. That no matter how hard he tries he will never measure up to his big brother in everyone’s eyes. He thinks he’s no one's first choice. Not Alphard’s, his brother’s, and certainly not his parent’s. Always Sirius’s brother, never just Regulus.

On top of that they both know the feeling of being replaced. Regulus by James and Peter by Sirius. (Peter and James grew up down the street from each other and were each other’s first best friend)

After that night they become close friends and start hanging out in secret. Setting off a sort of domino effect.

—--

First, realizing Peter isn’t spending as much time with them anymore, the marauders investigate. Figuring out that he’s hanging out with Regulus causes a lot of fights. Before finally the brothers reconcile and Regulus becomes friends with the others too.

Now knowing that he has a safe place to go to, Regulus runs away and moves in with the Potters. This leads to James and Regulus getting together. Plus no longer in fear of it getting back to his parents, Regulus comes into himself. Changing his style and becoming more confident, outspoken, and popular.

Before long it feels like Regulus is the fourth marauder instead of Peter. The feeling of exclusion coming back tenfold.

Regulus and Sirius are brothers. James and Remus bond over both dating a Black brother. Remus and Regulus are both extremely alike. Sirius and James are closer than ever. Wolfstar and Jegulus are together and go on double dates. All of this makes the quintet feel more like a quartet.

The tipping point though is Regulus and James' engagement.

James signed up to aurors and the order. With Regulus making plans to follow after he graduates. Understanding that both of them could die, James decides to propose. After James' parents Sirius is the first to know, as James wants permission before he proposes. Then as Sirius is unable to keep anything from him and they need his help to plan Remus is next. The very last person to find out is Peter. Even worse if he finds out at an engagement party after the proposal

So in the end when he’s cornered by Voldemort it's easy to hand them over

(You guys are free to use this just simply tell me the name so I can go and read them)

[eclectic-sassycoweyes]

WIP Wednesday

Thank you for the tags @paperstorm @heartstringsduet @everlastingday @henrygrass @nisbanisba @whatsintheboxmh @alrightbuckaroo @carlossreaders

An idea for a future/Jonah fic merged with Ranch Fic which I believed I've shared a bit of before. It won't leave my head. Here is a snippet from a chapter in which Jonah starts preschool and brings home a gift in the form a stomach bug they all get to take their turn with. Look how happy the little guy is with himself.

Thus this snippet is also me jumping aboard the Carlos Sickfic train whoo Niz you're still the captain and the driver I'm just joining the ride for a bit! Warnings for descriptions of nausea and a mention of throwing up but no more than those exact words.

He kind of wants to check in on Jonah and TK, wants to say goodbye to Jonah before he leaves for half the day but his eyelids are already drooping and the nausea still sits on the edge of his consciousness. He feels like he has a small window of time wherein if he just moves very little and goes to sleep soon he might be able to skip the next bout of nausea.

His wish is granted anyway as the bedroom door opens, Jonah entering first along with TK’s voice reminding him to be gentle, TK himself emerging last.

“He wanted to show you the dragon he chose,” TK says as Jonah climbs carefully up the bed to sit next to Carlos.

“Hey Jonah," Carlos says, fighting to keep his eyes open as he pushes Jonah’s bangs away from his forehead. He’s gonna need a haircut again soon. “Did you choose a good one?”

“Look!” Jonah says, pulling at the hem of his shirt and puffing his chest out, proudly showcasing the pink dragon on the front.

“Wow, mijo, that’s a really good choice,” Carlos says, making Jonah beam up at TK at the confirmation that they chose right.

“Are you gonna wear your pajamas to work, Carlos?” Jonah parrots TK from earlier. He does that a lot these days. Sometimes it makes him say weirdly wise things that sound way too adult coming from his four year old voice which always makes Carlos laugh.

“Carlos gets to stay home and sleep some more, because he’s sick, remember? Just like you stayed home when you were sick.”

“Did you throw up?” Jonah asks, turning to Carlos with wide eyes. He looks a mix between concerned and intrigued.

“Yeah, but just like you I’ll feel better again in no time,” Carlos reassures with a out upon smile. He hopes he's right.

“Do you want an ice pop?” Jonah asks, remembering that had made him feel better.

“Maybe later,” Carlos smiles at him. “But that was a nice thought, mijo. Thank you.”

Jonah looks like he’s thinking hard trying to come up with something else that will magically heal Carlos. He’s so sweet and caring, just like his brother. TK interrupts him before he can suggest any more remedies, heartwarming as they are.

“Okay, buddy,” TK says. “Time for breakfast I think, so we can get to preschool on time.”

“Can we make omelets?” Jonah asks, sufficiently distracted. Carlos usually lets him ‘help’ when he makes omelets in the morning and Jonah loves being delegated with small but very important tasks.

TK chuckles. “Sure. I don’t know if I can make them as good as Carlos though,” he says. “You’ll have to ask him for the secret ingredient.”

“What’s the secret ingredient Carlos?” 

Another time Carlos will tell Jonah how to make his favorite omelet, but right now Carlos can’t bear the thought of pronouncing the word of any food related item. “Love,” he says instead, ruffling Jonah’s hair, trying not to show that even the act of lifting his arm feels like a tremendous effort. Jonah frowns for a moment before he giggles like Carlos just said a super silly thing.

“Love? You can’t put love in an omelet Carlos!”

“Sure you can,” Carlos says. “You just have to make the omelet for someone you love and that’s how you put love into it.” He doesn’t know where the spontaneous pocket philosophy comes from and he hopes he hasn’t made a mistake in case the omelet TK and Jonah whip up for some reason isn’t to Jonah’s liking.

Kids don’t think that deep, he tells himself. Jonah will probably have forgotten about it in the time it takes them to go from the bedroom to the kitchen. And besides he fully trusts TK’s abilities when it comes to cooking. 

His jumbled overthinking is interrupted by Jonah making his heart grow two sizes and do a little dance in his chest. “Then we have to make some for Carlos too TK! So we can put love in it!”

Unfortunately his stomach seems inspired by his heart to start matching its little dance routine. Thinking anymore about omelets, let alone one being made for him that he has to eat, isn’t helping. He feels his little window of time starting to close as the nausea begins tauntingly closing back in on him. Luckily TK seems to read it on his face. Or maybe he’s just turning visibly green.

“We’ll make some for him to save for later,” he says. Planting a soft kiss to Carlos forehead he tells him “You should try to finish that glass of water though, if you can. I’ll bring you a new one before we leave.”

Turning back to Jonah he says more loudly, "Now, can you say bye to Carlos so we can let him sleep?” to Carlos he says softly “You look ready to, baby.” 

Carlos only hums in response.

Jonah rises up from his knees on the bed, putting him at eye level with Carlos as he wraps his little arms around his neck. “Bye, Carlos. Feel better,” he says before turning back to TK, putting his arms in the air to be lifted off the bed.

Carlos musters his last energy for a sincere “Bye Jonah. I love you,” But Jonah has apparently already moved on, or rather back to discussing what to put into the omelet, beside love.

“And ham,” he says as TK lifts him under the armpits and sets him back on the floor.

“And cheese!” he says, “And eggs and pepper and-” 

“Okay buddy,” TK interrupts quickly, sending Carlos an apologetic wince before quickly ushering Jonah out of the bedroom, as he keeps listing ingredients. 

Once the door is closed behind them, Carlos takes a few steadying breaths, the nausea thankfully retreating back to the peripherals. Having learned to listen to TK when it comes to medical advice, he sips the water until the glass is almost empty before he gingerly lays down, foregoing his own freshly clean pillowcase in favor of TK’s, and pulling their shared blanket up and over his body. He shifts a little to make himself as comfortable as he can and then closes his eyes.

He doesn’t hear when TK creeps in half an hour later to replace the near empty glass of water, or the front door opening and closing as they leave to drop Jonah off at preschool.

OPEN TAG

And tagging @herefortarlos @emsprovisions @paperstorm @heartstringsduet @ironheartwriter

@bonheur-cafe @ladytessa @sapphic--kiwi @literateowl @lemonlyman-dotcom

@rangersoup @theghostofashton @everlastingday @henrygrass

@freneticfloetry @liminalmemories @carlossreaders @chicgeekgirl89

@the-126-family @goodways @carlos-in-glasses @whatsintheboxmh @tailoredshirt

@nisbanisba @nancys-braids @your-catfish-friend @rmd-writes @goldenskykaysani

@captain-gillian @reyesstrand @strandnreyes @alrightbuckaroo @tellmegoodbye

@carlos-tk @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @pimento-playing-hopscotch @firstprince-history-huh @thisbuildinghasfeelings

@never-blooms @lightningboltreader @erythrocytebuffoonn @welcometololaland

I finally made a taglist so lmk if you want to be removed from it or added to it!:)

[caldella]

Oh YES I see this vision hardcore. Congrats, have one of my very specific headcanons that probably won't actually happen:

Cash coming into the IMP office with a demand for money compensation. IMP is getting successful, and he feels Blitzø owes him for "destroying his life." Blitzø for once not putting up a fight because Cash probably still has a massive weight on his conscience/self confidence, considering their past together. But Stolas in secretary mode says that a money request needs to be given on paper. Cash provides some amount, and Stolas and Moxxie tag-team - Stolas with his "contract negotiation" skills, and Moxxie with his "abusive dad alert" in high gear and a much more grounded idea of actual accounting/numbers. They pour over the paper and run numbers while Blitzø is too afraid of his dad/what Stolas and everyone is making of all this to really do anything. Stolas eventually comes back and hands a very corrected, longer list of figures with a number in parentheses at the bottom.

Cash: "Eh? Oh, hey, shit, this number's even bigger than what I had."

Blitzø: *Absolutely terrified, staring at Stolas like WTF are you doing, please, please don't hate me, no*

Stolas: "Hmm, I don't think you understand. Placing the numbers inside parentheses is an indication of debt."

Stolas then proceeds to relentlessly run down the list. First off, we can cancel any debt that would have pertained to the financial loss of the fire, as it was an accident and should have been covered by Cash's insurance (cue Cash going, "What the fuck is insurance?") Stolas then lists every other cost Cash tried to bring against Blitzø vs. the costs that Cash's post-fire behavior did/should have brought upon him. Criminal fines for abandoning Blitzø, who was a dependent. Money Blitzø needed for room and board when he was kicked out of the family without proper eviction. Food and water and clothing costs and other necessary items for survival that he should have had assistance with because he was a dependent at the time. Medical costs associated with his recovery from the fire that would have been covered if Cash had proper insurance for him. An estimate of the therapy and other related costs to managing the trauma of being abandoned, particularly after an already traumatic event...

The list goes on about how Cash owes more than he's owed until Cash gets pissed and tries to fight back.

Stolas: "If you do desire to argue these points, the company could consider bringing up these charges in a more official case. But I will warn you that the courts are not particularly kind to those accused of crimes. More than one person in this room knows that much better than you do."

On my KNEES begging season 3 to give us Stolas being his sassiest self to whoever dares to treat his Blitz with even an ounce of disrespect.

And yes, I'm thinking clients, old enemies (like DHORKS), other commoners in the street, even other Goetia, but like—

Like I am full-on picturing Cash Buckzo making an appearance to take advantage of IMP's fame and airing all of Blitz's dirty laundry about the fire, and while everyone else just gapes and Blitz hyperventilates, Stolas just raises an eyebrow at Cash, hands on his hips, and goes "so you, as the ringleader and adult in charge, deemed it a good idea to celebrate a birthday party next to the firework stash? And your solution was to blame your own incompetence on a teenager?" effectively murdering Cash on the spot.

Does anyone see my vision???

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Movie: Sequel Series?

Hear me out.

A while back I mentioned that although I desperately want more Firstprince and more of the RWRB universe, I don’t really straight up want a sequel movie because of how complete the movie’s “fairy-tale” ending is and because I can’t think of, and don’t really want a full-on dramatic plot for their future. I kind of just wanna see them live their lives. I said I didn’t really know what’s the compromise between my two thoughts.

It hit me recently:

a series/ mini-series

The thing is, a series doesn’t need to be a continuous storyline. It can and most of the time it is, but it doesn’t need to be. May not be the best comparison but the Disney Junior shows I watched as a kid, while having some sort of overall continuity, aren’t always continuous. Each episode can serve as an independent story: sometimes it’s a flashback episode, sometimes it’s an alternate universe episode etc.

So when it comes to RWRB sequel, the benefit of doing a series instead of a movie is that it doesn’t need to be strictly set in the future, and it doesn’t have to have a dramatic over-arching plot, which leads to two big things we can work with.

One, we can jump around with the timeline, and give enough time to explore events that could only be mentioned in passing in the movie due to time constraints and pacing

@pippin-katz wrote a post about seeing a flashback to their first meeting in the sequel, and yes, absolutely, but with a series, a whole episode can be dedicated to their first meeting, which would be enough time to explore the whole event (i.e. Alex’s nervousness and Henry’s discomfort being at the conference, what happened after) and both Henry and Alex’s perspective. We can see everything from that day.

We could also fill in the gaps, moments that occurred during the movie but wasn’t fully presented. I don’t know if Wimbleton still works with the difference in dynamic and character on Henry’s part, but if it does it would be fun to see. One of the things that was in the book that I wish could have been in the movie was a moment of Alex’s showing his vulnerability and Henry understanding him immediately when they were just friends, so the Christmas phone call in Chapter 3, that can be in the series. Maybe the thing with kid Alex and the magazine photo of 12-year-old Henry. Things like Henry’s meeting with the King during his 18th birthday. Henry’s perspective of the Alex POV events and vice versa.

And of course we could have moments of their future, living together or working out a long-distance relationship, celebrating anniversaries, going on dates, doing public events as a couple, maybe even proposal, engagements, wedding, adoption, all the good stuff.

Two, we can focus on characters and relationships that aren’t Firstprince

Now don’t get me wrong, I love my boys and could never get enough of them

But one critic I’ve heard and sort of agree with is that a lot of supporting characters, and subsequently their actors, were underused. While I completely understand that again, it’s due to the limitations of movie storytelling, it’s still a pity.

With a series though? We can have episodes focusing on certain relationships, past, present and future.

We can have Henry’s relationship with his father, how the whole family fell apart for a few years because of losing Arthur and how much Henry’s grief affected him. (I think Nick would absolutely kill it)

We can have Alex learning more about Henry from Bea and Percy, and forming some sort of unspoken “Henry protection squad” bond.

We can have Henry reconciling with his grandfather and mother, and him introducing Alex to his mother.

And while we’ve seen Henry bond with Oscar, it’d be nice to see more of that, as well as see Henry bond with Ellen.

Firstprince will always be present, but with a series, it doesn’t always need to be the focus, and we can explore other relationships as well! And it’d give the other character a bigger chance to shine

And it can even be independent character studies: we can get a closer look into Henry’s depression and Alex’s ADHD/imposter syndrome (I’m not sure if movie Alex still reads ADHD, someone help me out here please, but if he does it’d be nice to see)

I love the movie so much and I understand that not everything can be translated on screen for it, but if the next related project is something more like “fill in the gaps” instead of “start a new thing” we can adapt certain things in the book that couldn’t be in the movie. Like colouring and adding things in the blank space of a painting instead of starting a new painting. Think about it, even Henry’s bonus chapter is a collection of miscellaneous moments that happen after the events of the book: it doesn’t have a plot.

I literally don’t know if this is a practical idea, and I’m aware this literally sounds like a collection of cannon compilate one-shot fanfics but on screen, but this is the best way to extend the RWRB universe I can think of

It’s more domestic fun and maybe fan service than making a statement/sending a message like the movie did, but the movie already did that, and it would just be nice to watch smaller moments of their lives

(and well, I got myself excited writing this, so please please please please please)

[toddtakefive]

thinking about todd and his resolve toward… not quite isolation, but being alone in a room full of people again. he goes along to the study room to sit on his own and do his homework, he sits at the poets table and follows along with what’s being said while keeping quiet, he goes to the meetings at all but doesn’t necessarily contribute (in fact, if you watch him when cameron is telling the story ‘from camp in sixth grade’, you can see that he recognizes it before any of the other poets but doesn’t voice it until they all have). he’s not alone, necessarily, if you want to get technical about it, he’s just lonely, and he’s generally okay with that. he doesn’t have friends and that’s fine, he doesn’t participate in class and that’s fine, he doesn’t have a relationship with his family and that’s fine—he could live without any real connection and he’d have been, more or less, fine.

the thing about when he says “i can take care of myself just fine!” is that he isn’t really wrong, you can infer that he’s been doing it his entire life anyway, it’s that ‘taking care of yourself’ isn’t the same thing as really living or being happy. todd’s an introvert, certainly, and even as he gets closer to the group he defaults to sitting quietly in the background, but he’s also denying himself community out of fear not introversion. todd isn’t friendless because he’s an introvert, although that definitely plays a part, he’s friendless because he pushes anyone that might want his company away. if anyone has every wanted for his attention in the first place. (neil’s unwavering interest in him is unique (even when it comes to the rest of the poets, who are fine with todd coming along and joining the group, but aren’t really hellbent on him being there in the beginning) and his refusal to accept it is a direct result of being so lonely growing up.)

there’s obviously something to be said about the implications of his parents neglect, and the more than likely fact that he grew up friendless, and how those both play a part in in him being so skilled at dodging social interaction/being so avoidant of it, but by the time we see him in the movie he’s all but accepted his fate as being alone his entire life. he’s already accepted being the family disappointment, and he’s already accepted he’ll never amount to anything, and he obviously doesn’t like it, but he’d have managed living with that knowledge without the confirmation that it was all wrong. would he have been miserable? almost certainly. but he’d have managed. he’d done it for that long already, anyhow.

[arsenicflame]

y'all ever think about Sam & Izzy in a no-name port, in a house, in their house, the place they've met in secret for decades? sharing the few days they can snatch from the unforgiving passage of time, holding each other, knowing it's going to end again before they're ready? knowing that perhaps this is the last time they'll ever get to do this, and they won't know until it's already happened? I sure do

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Valicer In The Dark -- More Score & Story Ideas!

Because, uh, I have a lot of ideas for stuff I want to do in this verse, and the original list from a year ago has expanded quite a fair bit:

-->While I haven't gotten all of my stories into a proper timeline yet, I do have the first five sorted:

A) "Start At The Beginning...Sort Of" -- the story currently in progress, where the trio all meet, solve Victor's ghost problem and Ghost!Emily's Barkis problem, get wrongly accused of murder, run from the police (showing off their special starting scoundrel abilities along the way), and eventually end up in Elder Gutknecht's old place in Six Towers. This is sort of the "prologue" to the whole mess, putting all of them in the right position to start on a life of crime. XD

B) "A Murder Shared Is A Murder Thirded" -- yes, I did have Gale of Baldur's Gate III's line about how "a parasite shared is a parasite halved" when I came up with that title. XD As you might imagine, this is the trio first "unofficial" score, with them going to murder Bumby, because the fucker needs murdering. Of course, it's only after they kill him that they meet up with Smiler's parents and learn they were exonerated of the original "murder" by the Spirit Wardens. XD Still no regrets, though.

C) "The Van Dort Vacancy" -- came up with that title while looking at old Oxventure Presents: Blades In The Dark episode titles and being inspired by "The Cab-Con Caper's" alliteration. This story focuses on Alice and Smiler returning Victor to the Van Dort mansion...only to discover the Van Dorts hosting a party. Victor quickly learns that his parents never even considered the idea that he might be in danger when he vanished, only caring about the fact that Victoria Everglot married someone else (and is now due to wed Imperial Guardsman Christopher White after her first husband's death and disgrace) -- and after overhearing his mother declare "what ghost would marry our Victor?" decides fuck them, he's taking his stuff, stealing what money he can, and going to live with Alice and Smiler in Six Towers. Features special guests Barnaby "The Butcher" Fortescue III and Kasimir Jones from Oxventure Presents: Blades In The Dark, because it tickled me to imagine them doing a score to steal some of the Van Dorts' money at the same time -- only for Victor to catch on to what they're doing when he meets Barnaby at the party and go "if you wait five minutes for me to get my things, I will open the safe for you and give you a good chunk of the money inside." XD

D) The currently-untitled story detailing the gang's first "official" job as a crew, picked up when they go to dinner at the Ball & Socket Pub and Smiler overhears two workers from Coalridge discussing needing to get something back from their boss -- the "something" is a list of potential union representatives that the boss stole in order to call assassins on the people listed. The workers need it back to keep their nascent union safe. Notably, the score involves the workers saying they can't give the trio much in Coin, but they'll do what they can -- and then one of them jokingly saying, "Unless you want to be paid in furniture."

Cue Victor, Alice, and Smiler, who currently live in Elder Gutknecht's-not-exactly-comfortable house, going "what kind of furniture?" XD (A couch and a proper dining table, specifically -- old furniture one of the workers was trying to shift after inheriting some stuff from a late relative.)

E) "Who You Gonna Call?" -- As you might guess from the Ghostbusters quote for a title, this story involves the gang busting some ghosts. XD Specifically, it involves Bonejangles -- here a Whisper who does entertainment work for the Ball & Socket on the side -- deciding to school Victor in the art of ghost-catching by taking him on a job to catch a few Echoes (non-sapient ghosts who continually do the same thing over and over again in a loop), with Alice and Smiler tagging along for moral support. However, as it turns out, one of those "Echoes" is actually a Specter (a sapient, feral ghost who attacks people and possesses them to feed on their life force) who was biding its time... I felt a little bad that none of the previous stories really had any Whisper-y stuff for Victor to do, and decided he needed a "day in the limelight" score -- as a bonus, this score is how he gets his ghost-hunting equipment for later!

-->I also have plans for two possible prequel stories -- one showcasing the three times Alice and Smiler talked before the events of "Start At The Beginning...Sort Of" (I have the first bit, Smiler giving Alice the money for lunch, actually written already), and one showcasing some of Smiler's life even before that (I have a rough draft of the scene where they wake up the "morning" after inventing Joy Serum and go "bwuh?" over their newly-glowing yellow eyes). Good for filling in gaps and writing more stuff from Smiler's POV!

-->I mentioned Victor wanting to make a community greenhouse very briefly in the very first post I made about the AU -- this has expanded into a whole little arc about him finding an abandoned conservatory while wandering Six Towers and the gang fixing it up into a place where they and the other residents can grow food. In order, the stories would cover:

1) Getting enough money to pay a glazier to fix all the broken window panes (or doing something for the glazier in trade)

2) Acquiring the initial plants (which involves a trip to Barrowcleft and probably doing a job for someone there in trade)

3) Victor researching ways to infuse butterflies and moths with electroplasm to create radiant energy insects to help the plants grow; my idea is that he eventually tries mixing it with some of Smiler's Joy Serum -- and gets REALLY BIG bright yellow glowing moths, to his and Smiler's delight and Alice's concern

4) And then, once the place is just about ready to "open to the public," Lord Rowan, the only lord who maintains a permanent residence in Six Towers, rocks up, claims the greenhouse is his, and demands an absolutely ASTRONOMICAL rent from the trio to use it. Fortunately he proves to be a man who likes games when Smiler asks to negotiate, and tells them if they can break into his house and get the deed to the land from the safe in his bedroom, it's theirs (the trio smartly get this written down and notarized by someone in Charterhall first; Rowan is PIIIIISSED when he realizes he'll have to honor the deal)

-->A related idea would be for the gang to encounter some of the people in Charterhall (the neighborhood mostly made up of one big university) who are working on an alternative power source to help replace leviathan blood (which is refined into the electroplasm that powers everything electric in the setting) and need a place to test it. The trio decides that the alternative energy group can try to get the streetlights back on in Six Towers, and there's a score all around helping them get there safely, and keeping Lord Rowan's nose out of it until they're done. Not sure what exactly it will entail yet, but I'm eager to find out!

-->As stated in previous posts, the gang eventually has to go after Dr. Kelman when he puts out a notice saying he wants the three captured so he can submit them to his special "social compliance therapy" (aka do horrific brain surgeries on them and/or Hollow them by ripping out their souls). This is how Victor and Alice learn Smiler's birth name, and the whole trip proves to be a rather dark look at Smiler's childhood pre-running away and joining the Advocates. In fact, I already have one specific scene in mind of Victor finding a photograph of a young Smiler and noting that their smile in the picture looks incredibly strained, as if they're desperately trying to see the bright side. Also, Miles Cedars is definitely going to show up, and possibly get to murder Kelman. Because I like giving him the chance to murder Kelman. :)

-->Speaking of Smiler angst, I also have in mind a story where, on a particularly chilly night in winter, Smiler, Victor, and Alice are wandering the streets together when Smiler somehow falls into one of the local canals. Victor and Alice fish them out as fast as possible, fortunately, but the rest of the story proves a race against time to get Smiler home and warmed before they succumb to hypothermia. Featuring half-naked cuddling when they learn that skin-to-skin contact can be an excellent way to warm a chilled person (fortunately this is after they get together as a polycule, so the partial nudity isn't as awkward as it could be)...and Smiler crying in front of Victor and Alice for the first time when they can't stop thinking about the fact that, if they'd been walking with their fellow Advocates, said Advocates would have believed them when they said they felt okay...and they probably would have died. :( It is a story of many feels, is what I am saying.

-->So, when does my OT3 actually become an OT3 in the actual stories? Shortly after the Kelman score, in a story entitled "And There Was Only One Bed" (a play on the fic trope, and the fact that the house only has one good bed -- at the time the story starts, the three are taking turns using it, with the other two sleeping on cots borrowed from The Advocates). The story involves Smiler (who has been trying to subtly push Victor and Alice together, having noticed they seem to like each other) finally revealing to Victor and Alice that they're a pretty accomplished hypnotist, and offering to use their skills to help Victor with a nasty bout of insomnia. Victor agrees, with Alice wanting to watch for her own peace of mind -- cue Smiler hypnotizing Victor the next time the three of them are going to bed...

And a deep-in-trance Victor asking to be held as he falls asleep. Prompting both Smiler and Alice to cuddle him...and fall asleep against him because neither wants to get up and possibly disturb him after he does drift off. Meaning when everyone wakes up the "morning" afterward, they're all really awkward -- Alice because she's like "wtf why did I find that hot;" Victor because he's like "oh no I liked that too much and I have to process the fact that I'm in love with both of them now;" Smiler because "damn it I think I just decreased total happiness in this household should have kept my stupid mouth shut." They do their best to push through and complete the latest job they have though (a random "steal something from this rich fucker's house" deal, it's not actually important), which ends up with them having to clamber up onto the roof at some point --

And then Victor nearly falls off said roof. Prompting both Alice and Smiler to nearly have a heart attack and have their feelings toward him thrown into STARK RELIEF. Meaning they all finally have a chat once they complete the job and get back home, which allows them to finally discover that a) they're all willing to get into a polycule and b) that they actually have quite compatible kinks. Story ends with Smiler delightedly returning one of the cots to their parents (Alice insisted on keeping one in case one of them does want or need to sleep alone) and the three of them regularly sharing the bed. :)

-->I also want to do at least one follow-up concerning them starting to play around with hypnosis, and Alice insisting she wants to do something that will help keep Victor Victor no matter what they do to his head -- cue her and Smiler coming up with a safety suggestion that involves Victor picturing the core of his personality as a glowing tree, and then having him encase it in unbreakable glass so his personality can shine out, but nothing can get in. :) It's just a sweet scene that's been rattling around in my head for a while, and I'd like to put it to virtual paper.

-->I mentioned a "Lord E.A. Bethesda" in my Duskwall Slang post a while back, as a guy who gets labeled with the very-dangerous-in-Duskwall title "Welcher" (someone who hires someone for a job, but then decides to try and kill them instead of pay them; people who do this generally end up dead themselves). How does he get saddled with this label? By hiring the Three Pillars to steal a golden beetle statue from a rival (Lord Bethesda is a bug collector, you see), plying them with a hefty reward if they pull it off (which he can afford as the "Gambling King" of Duskwall -- his fortune was built off of getting lots of people to pay him small amounts of money in hopes of great reward). They do indeed pull it off --

And Lord Bethesda happily orders them killed by his guards, forcing them to escape his house in Brightstone. However, Bethesda (who has done this before) employs Plan B and has his guards herd them toward his garden and through a gap in the lightning barrier around his home --

Before turning said barrier back ON and stranding them in the HEAVILY ghost-and-horror-riddled Deathlands just beyond (specifically, they're in the Lost District, a formerly rich neighborhood that was abandoned once the lightning barriers went up). This leads into the sequel story, where the trio have to find a way back into the city while navigating the horrors of the Deathlands...which results in them discovering that Alice's Wonderland Jabberwock, inspired by an illustrated poem she read as a child, is actually based on a REAL CREATURE. Which has the horrible eye beam and wants very much to kill them. (And which may have the voice of Christopher Lee because I might as well throw in the nod to Tim Burton's Wonderland -- Victor is VERY CONFUSED as to why it sounds like Pastor Galswells.) They manage to kill IT instead by strapping Alice's Vorpal Blade (now a real thing, Victor bought it for her as a present) to Victor's ghost-catching kit while Smiler whacks together a sort of motorized skateboard thing for them to ride on and then using the electroplasmically-charged Blade to slice the damn thing's unprotected belly open. Alice claims one of the eyes as a trophy, and shortly thereafter they're found by the Spirit Wardens, who look at the corpse and go "let's just get you back inside the barriers, shall we?" Cue the the trio tromping back to the Ball & Socket and telling the clientele about their experience...leading to Lampblack gang leader Bazso Baz declaring Bethesda a Welcher, and the guy soon afterward getting killed.

-->Not that Baz is actually a friend to the trio -- for another future story has the trio invited to one of his fancy parties, supposedly to recognize how rapidly they've made a name for themselves in the Duskwall underworld. The three go, figuring it's a good way to keep relations good with their fellow criminals -- but are quickly rather disgusted by the party itself, as it feels pretty much like any party Nell Van Dort would throw (overly ostentatious and making it clear he's only in it for the power). They resolve to get through the shindig and head home...

And then Baz reveals that the actual reason they were invited was because they've collected a variety of bounties on their heads (including a big one from the Van Dorts, specifying Alice and Smiler have to die but Victor be brought home alive, and a huge one from Lord Rowan, wanting them ALL dead) and the other criminals want to claim them. Cue the Three Pillars having to try and find a way to escape from the house as the other criminals hunt them. Fortunately for them, they have unexpected allies in Baz's staff, with one guy in particular having a sister and nephew in Six Towers whom they've helped a lot (probably both in general with the greenhouse, and specifically by helping the kid when he got sick once). They eventually manage to get out with the staff's help, and limp their way back to Six Towers...

Just in time to see Lord Rowan trying to make a big speech to the citizens about "how your heroes are dead" and blah blah blah. He is gobsmacked to see the trio still alive, leading to, of all people, Smiler strolling up to him and clocking him in the face. XD Gaining the Three Pillars a reputation as, frankly, unkillable...

Aaaand I should probably cut it there because this post is getting long enough. XD And I haven't even touched upon all the stories I have in mind that are based off of other properties I like! Guess that would be a good follow-up post to this one, huh? :p

[reminiscentrainclouds]

You guys ever feel trapped? Yea I'm well-acquainted with the feeling of being trapped.

[cuteniaarts]

Behold, my latest and most enamouring new obsession:

Malina, Lady of the Chief of the Northern Water Tribe. As if Red Lotus child OCs weren’t niche enough

[elegyofthemoon]

ok but do i want to actually sit and read through all the clockie animation stuff so i have better foundation for what i want to say? i guess

[235uranium]

back from the barbie movie and I certainly have Thoughts on what the movie was doing but overall I do think it's worth seeing! it's fun

[todayisafridaynight]

I wanted to write in about my thoughts on Jo as a CSA survivor separately for a couple of reasons:

I already more or less have what I have to say on the topic in order thanks to talks with @starssystem and another friend [<3]

This is a massive tonal shift from anything else I could be discussing

This Is Massive In General For The Love Of God PLEASE Help Me

Obvious CSA CW for anyone else reading; I only discuss statistics, psychology, and the aftereffects seen in survivors here, but it's worth a warning.

With the disclaimers out of the way… I'd mentioned before I've only ever added one thing to Jo's background, and you were right: this is it! To me, there's so much thematic overlap in Jo's narrative with the experience of surviving CSA it's worth it to examine his character through the lens of that being the case. Of course, there are clearly-stated reasons for it all that Aren't That, but…

It's the pervasive guilt and shame, the lifelong secret that becomes too unbearable not to tell, the faulty coping mechanisms aimed at burying the trauma without having to face it, the reluctance to be sincere [vulnerable] and the lies and half-truths used to maintain the facade of invulnerability, the pursuit of power and control and the knee-jerk anger response when it's threatened, the pursuit of mastery over his body and the indifference to what happens to it. And the way a lot of it really does stem from a deeply traumatic childhood sexual experience from before either he or Ikumi understood what they were getting into, from before they could give informed consent.

Statistically, the further below the average age someone is for their first time, the likelihood of [at best] having been introduced to sex inappropriately and [at worst] having been abused at the time or earlier rises exponentially. Jo was 15 when Masato was conceived--possibly 14, since he was saying he "met" Arakawa at 15, and by then Masato was already born. To put this into perspective, since what ages register as concerning is largely cultural, the average age in the US and UK is 16-18. But in Japan, it's over 19.

To a Westerner [or even a heavily Westernized non-Westerner], having a kid at 15 is unfortunate, but not untenable; you've seen it on TV, you might know people like that, you might even be that kid or that parent. But in Jo's case, with him being 4 or 5 years younger than average, it's like if someone told you they had their first time--had a /kid/--at 13 or under. That's the equivalent discrepancy. That /is/ concerning, to me.

It's also something that's linked to negative outcomes in adulthood, partly because of the likelihood of forming bonds with poorly-adjusted peers. Jo specifically states he and Ikumi were only together because others who came from backgrounds like his own were all he had back then. [As an aside, it's interesting to see him instinctively seek out a relationship where his pain would be understood without having to say anything--or one where he could assume it would, at any rate.]

When it comes to his relationship with Ikumi, I've always felt there was this "adult dynamic" between them--in the sense it feels like one that'd be more fitting for adults to get into than a couple of teens. It was, based on his wording, a primarily physical relationship neither of them expected to last even if they were living together. To me, it's one thing if you're fully convinced you're in love or you're experimenting or whatever and that results in an unplanned pregnancy, but it's another thing entirely to have such a bleak yet objective outlook on your relationship so young.

And it didn't have to be that way. He could've been just like Arakawa, head-over-heels in love with this girl who was The Only Good Thing He Had Going, or something like that. But the sheer contrast between how Arakawa was crazy about Akane and never forgot about her for the rest of his life, while Jo more-or-less-clearly didn't have feelings for Ikumi and can't bring himself to remember her name after living with her for at least a year and experiencing life-changing events with her…

It's notable to me that Arakawa maintains an interest in women while nearly every in-character interpretation I've seen makes Jo averse to women. Obviously, we don't really know that; it's probably just based on his general attitudes, his contrast with Arakawa, and maybe his immunity to Charm. But I think there's a reason a lot of people pick up on it and tie it to trauma rather than/in addition to a lack of interest in women.

I've talked about this through the lens of comphet already [and Jo being gay or ace or both would present other difficulties], but I can't overstate how notable it is on its own. We see Jo's response to traumatic events, and it's to become preoccupied with them, to investigate further if he has any leads. That's why he remembers every minute detail of the night Masato was born and the time he saw Arakawa attempt to comfort Masato when he was crying and hitting himself. I think it's also why he gets as far as he does when looking into Arakawa's death, and why he entrusts the search to Ichi. He never seems to manage to block them out, even if that's what he'd rather do--even if that's what he thinks he's doing.

So if he "[doesn't] even remember" the name of the mother of his child, I get the feeling there's something more going on. Like I've [probably] said in the past, Jo genuinely sounds traumatized by the relationship as a whole. More than anything else he's been through, and he's been through a lot. It's often the case that CSA survivors who are also survivors of other trauma view it as worse than anything else that happened to them.

And that's not to implicate Ikumi at all, I don't think it's a case of COCSA--everything I've said holds just as true for her, and she had to suffer the additional trauma of an unwanted pregnancy and childbirth, at that. Rather, I think it would make sense for something like CSA, which often incontrovertibly reconfigures one's relationship with sex and love, to be a factor in why they rushed into a something physical before they were mature enough to handle it.

Some victims end up having perfectly healthy experiences, some victims end up avoiding them, some victims end up re-victimized, and some victims end up with a mixed bag--there's a lot of variation. But some victims do end up having relationships like this and making mistakes like this, because that's all they know, or because they want to heal but don't [or don't know how to] go about it in a healthy way, at a healthy pace. And I definitely think if you recognize that's what the basis of your relationship was, that it all comes back to something you'd rather forget, it'd make sense to want to forget the relationship as a whole.

To that end, it's possible to come away from a relationship traumatized even if no one did anything wrong. I've [probably] talked about how the way Jo comforts her at the station feels like he's doing it for her sake and pushing his own feelings down, but neither of them is really buying it. If that's a pattern in their relationship, perhaps he wouldn't have been able to communicate if maybe what they were doing was dredging up bad memories, if he wanted to stop but didn't think she did. So to go through with it, then get the news months later…

Either way, the fact Ikumi couldn't bring herself to tell him she was pregnant until nothing could be done would, for Jo, invariably cement the feeling he has no control over what happens around him. I think the sense of powerlessness he felt is why he blew up at her when she told him, because it's really the only time we see him lash out like that at her. At the park, he objects to going back for Masato, sure, but he's passive. And I think that unbroken pattern of powerlessness in his life [which CSA would only compound on] is why he's so reactionary, why he's so emotionally dysregulated, why he expresses his rage through what basically amounts to power-tripping.

But I do think Jo does have a great deal of awareness. A lot of his wording when he's telling Ichi about it borders on poetic, or at the very least candid and effective. That requires both prior reflection and a command of language. I think there's a lot he understands deep down, at least after sitting with it for long enough, but he isn't capable of voicing--or doesn't know how to voice--what's on his mind, most of the time.

So when he joins the Arakawa Family, when he rises the ranks and has that control back, his control has to be near-absolute. If it's undermined in any way--such as, for example, a certain someone failing to answer a call within two rings--he loses it. On the other side of the coin, I do feel a lot of why his devotion and gratitude towards Arakawa goes to the extent it does, why he's so comfortable with him, is because Arakawa gave him the safety of the Arakawa Family, gave him back his autonomy, gave him the environment--and treated him with enough humanity to give him the reason--to learn to regulate himself, to better himself.

And Arakawa /gets/ trauma. He really does. Aside from his own abusive background, literally the only time the word trauma comes out of any character's mouth in this series, it's Arakawa's. It comes back to Jo saying others who came from backgrounds like his own were all he had; that never changed, did it?

Lastly, For Funsies [<- LIE. COMPLETE LIE. TURN BACK NOW] I wanted to go through the items on this [CSA] Survivors' Aftereffects Checklist I could check off with near-certainty. 19/34, by the way, give or take. Now, as I said at the beginning, there are existing concrete reasons for why he has many of these experiences… but it's like the trans allegory with Masato, To Me… If I can check off over half the list based on a very limited backstory and an hour of screen time total, that's indicative of a notable overlap… TO ME…

Note that the book this list is from was published in 1990 and focuses on women's experiences. It was a huge step forward in giving survivors a voice back when a lot of existing research indicated CSA had neutral or even positive effects on children, but it's definitely a product of its time. With that out of the way…

Wearing a lot of clothing, even in summer […]

To be fair, most male characters in RGG are fully-covered and have near-unchanging designs, and it's winter in both 2000/2001 and presumably 2019, but… when it comes to Jo, it feels a little different.

He does have Some Heavage in his twenties [although the necklace takes the attention off of his actual chest], but as time goes on, he shows less and less skin and adds more and more layers. When he has the gloves on, it leaves no skin exposed at all, and there's this direct symbolic correlation with secrecy that isn't there for other characters. And if you're wearing three layers of leather [or even one], you can neither feel what you're touching nor feel anything touch you.

Pure Speculation, but I just can't really see him underdressed for any occasion… That's why his fit in Day with the Sun is funny as hell but also… yeah…

As a behavior, if it's rooted in anything, it's probably rooted in having to hide signs of physical abuse, of course--but then he kind of already had an excuse, with how he was constantly getting into fights. I guess it depends on the specifics, but I think it's interesting to consider this as one way CSA victims attempt to regain control of their bodies, avoiding emotional discomfort at the cost of physical discomfort.

Self-destructiveness

It's nothing super overt, but I see this most clearly represented in his second boss fight in particular; his willingness to wield a blade bare-handed while using enough force he could very well render his hand useless. I think it's potentially also evident in how he has severe cataracts he chooses to ignore and allow to worsen, despite having the reasons and resources to undergo surgery to restore his vision. In doing so, he literally and figuratively blinds himself to so much.

I also kind of think the assassination of Hoshino/the anonymous call and The Eye Scene are examples of self-sabotage. I mean, he literally was sabotaging himself in the former, but it's also the specific way he feels the need to be physically taken down in order to be stopped--possibly a holdover from RGGJo, who's only too happy to be beaten into a coma.

I don't know… It's hard to pinpoint, but I feel like he would be averse to most of the more "obvious" self-destructive behaviors--especially when he has people in his life who might notice and worry, like Ikumi and Arakawa. That and because many of them are addictive. He's seen what that's done to his father, and he's also developed this incredibly rigid sense of discipline he can't maintain if he doesn't have a clear head.

From how he talks about himself [as having lost his humanity and lived a half-assed life], I definitely think he's at the very least unkind to himself, but I also think he does externalize it by provoking others to harm him [in the case of physical fights] and reject him. Like he needs some kind of proxy perpetrator. For some abuse victims, this specific manifestation of self-destructive behavior is a way to regain control--whether or not you "deserved it" back then, you do now, as a direct, logical result of your actions.

Need to be invisible, perfect, or perfectly bad

I think each of these needs manifests in different ways for Jo. The need to be invisible can be seen with authority figures (mainly Aoki, but also Arakawa in The Yubitsume Scene, a little; how drastically he pulls back and tries to act "normal")--this relates to what you were talking about with being reluctant to intrude or take up space. If you fall under the radar, maybe you won't get hurt.

The need to be perfect can be seen in his seemingly "impossible" standards, I would say. Of course, because we see things from Ichiban's perspective, we tend to see them as unfair and often arbitrary demands. But they aren't arbitrary to Jo, are they? They're standards he holds himself to through and through. If you're good, maybe you won't get hurt.

The need to be perfectly bad can be seen in and relates to much of what I discussed under self-destructiveness [The Eye Scene and the way he antagonizes Ichiban specifically by making himself out to be worse than he is]. If you must get hurt, it can at least "make sense"--be "deserved."

Suicidal thoughts, attempts, obsession (including "passive suicide")

Obviously he's not like… Mine Levels Of Overtly And Consistently Suicidal, and he doesn't attempt suicide himself, but at the same time, I have to note his total ambivalence towards Aoki seeing him as a "bullet" (a kind of hitman sent on suicide missions). He agreed to what he himself viewed as a suicide mission and he didn't care what would happen to him afterward, as he says to Joon-gi, Zhao, and Adachi.

Aside from that, I certainly feel he's at least had passive thoughts like wanting to disappear or wishing he'd never been born. Y'know. Nothing concrete, but reflective of his mental state, and just as detrimental to dwell on long-term.

I think there's a sort of childishness [for lack of a better word] to thoughts like these [in that they're impossible], but also a level of maturity in that it probably doesn't escalate to something more actionable because he understands he has responsibilities he can't abandon. I think if he was ever seriously suicidal, it would be at the points of his life where he really didn't have any responsibility to anyone, like between Ikumi leaving and him joining the family, or after he was arrested.

Depression (sometimes paralyzing) […]

I'm trying not to over explain going forward because I Have BEEN Overexplaining It Is SUCH A Disaster… he's depressed If You Have Eyes And/Or Ears… I'll leave it at that…

Anger issues; inability to recognize, own, or express anger; constant anger […]

Lol

Rigid control of one's thought process; humorlessness or extreme solemnity

Relates back to what I was saying about how disciplined he is [and expects everyone else to be], but in general, he's incredibly, incredibly serious and focused. I don't think he's /entirely/ humorless [but then again, very few people are]; I just think his specific sense of humor is. Like. What Is Your Problem [I Know What Your Problem Is I Have Been Discussing It In EXCRUCIATING Detail But What The Fuck Is Your Problem]

Trust issues; inability to trust (trust is not safe); total trust; trusting indiscriminately

That's why he was planning on taking his secret to the grave, isn't it? It was only when faced with the realization it would soon be too late to say anything that he was able to tell Ichiban. He could've trusted Arakawa, should've been able to, but… in his mind he never could.

This book [and this checklist] is about "incest" actually, but it redefines "incest" to mean any instance of CSA perpetrated by any individual the victim trusts or has an expectation of being able to implicitly trust. Which… is most CSA as we understand it today, so I've edited some parts to just say that.

Anyway, I've never given much thought to the specifics of what Jo might've experienced--who did it, what happened, how long it went on, etc.--so there's no conclusion I can draw here [and elsewhere, I'm sure]… but even without that, to grow up unable to trust the one person who should be in his corner, his father, and to have his trust betrayed by Ikumi, it's no surprise Jo ended up like this either way. So… I'm happy he had the courage to tell Ichi, in the end.

High risk taking ("daring the fates"); inability to take risks

I think these are supposed to be mutually exclusive, but to me, Hoshino's assassination and Arakawa's assassination represent both sides of the coin, although they're not the only examples. There are risks Jo won't think twice about taking and risks that paralyze him.

Boundary issues; control, power, territoriality issues; fear of losing control; obsessive/compulsive behaviors (attempts to control things that don't matter, just to control something)

Lol…

Guilt, shame; low self-esteem, feeling worthless; high appreciation of small favors by others

Lmao Even…

Feeling demand to "produce and be loved"; instinctively knowing and doing what the other person needs or wants; relationships mean big tradeoffs (love was taken, not given)

I actually think this encapsulates a lot of what I've been saying about his work ethic, his ideas of discipline, and his relationship with Ikumi, but I also think it's why Masato took a liking to him. His attentiveness. It ties back into wanting to be perfect; when you're abused--especially long-term--you become attuned to observing and responding to any shifts in mood or tone. This is another area where I can't draw any conclusions relevant to my point, but it does certainly relate to his father's abuse, at any rate.

Abandonment issues

Kind of contentious… The anticipation of being abandoned by or losing someone he cares about appears to be worse than the actual experience. He's fine with Ikumi leaving him, and he's… not Fine With, but able to come to terms with Arakawa's death and Aoki's abandonment of him. At the same time, he really does try to make Ikumi's stay in his life comfortable, and he spends almost forty years doing his damnedest to keep his family together, whatever the cost. If I were to extrapolate from RGGJo, though, /he/ does have an obsessive, unhealthy attachment to Arakawa.

Blocking out some period of early years (especially 1–12); or a specific person or place

Ikumiiiiii that's what I'm SAYINGGGG

Feeling of carrying an awful secret; urge to tell, fear of its being revealed; certainty no one will listen; being generally secretive […]

Rofl Perhaps…

Denial; […] repression of memories; pretending; minimizing ("it wasn't that bad") […]

He admits to it himself. Not much else to say. Though I don't think he necessarily minimizes what he's been through by dismissing how bad it was; rather, he tends to overestimate his ability to move past it.

Pattern of ambivalent or intensely conflictive relationships (intimacy is a problem; also focus shifted from [CSA] issues)

Also kind of contentious… we don't see a pattern of romantic relationships, as I assume the author meant here, but at the same time, the romantic relationship and non-romantic relationships we do see fit this pattern. I guess I'd say I definitely think intimacy /would/ be a problem, and he /wouldn't/ be ready to address his issues.

Limited tolerance for happiness; active withdrawal from happiness, reluctance to trust happiness ("ice=thin")

The quote that prompted this ask in the first place. It's sort of connected to the point about humorlessness and extreme solemnity; if that was the "what," this is the "why." He doesn't know how to relax ["holidays don't exist" and all], he doesn't have much to be happy about, but even rarer is the occasion where he doesn't feel too conflicted in the moment to be able to enjoy himself. That's just how I see him.

[…] verbal hypervigilance (careful monitoring of one's words); quiet-voiced, especially when needing to be heard

EXACTLY what I was talking about in this ask, so I'm leaving that one up to past me…

......

... That's It That's The Essay I'm going to hibernate until Infinite Wealth comes out and somehow refutes my points but UNTIL THEN. Farewell, take care, and once more, don't worry too much about matching my energy… Like I Said if I were the one receiving this ask I'd just delete my blog, so… I'll just be happy to know you read it :] If That lmao

ok i read it :) 👁️👁️ READMYTAGSTHERESMORETHEREIPROMISE

[quadrantadvisor]

I'm trying so hard not to be a hater but the more I learn about other ttrpgs the more the way that people talk about dnd annoys me

[swagging-back-to]

started outlining that one angsty fic ive had floating in my head for like a year now.