#or adapting other stuff in some cases

[victorluvsalice]

AU Thursday: Valicer In The Dark -- More Score & Story Ideas!

Because, uh, I have a lot of ideas for stuff I want to do in this verse, and the original list from a year ago has expanded quite a fair bit:

-->While I haven't gotten all of my stories into a proper timeline yet, I do have the first five sorted:

A) "Start At The Beginning...Sort Of" -- the story currently in progress, where the trio all meet, solve Victor's ghost problem and Ghost!Emily's Barkis problem, get wrongly accused of murder, run from the police (showing off their special starting scoundrel abilities along the way), and eventually end up in Elder Gutknecht's old place in Six Towers. This is sort of the "prologue" to the whole mess, putting all of them in the right position to start on a life of crime. XD

B) "A Murder Shared Is A Murder Thirded" -- yes, I did have Gale of Baldur's Gate III's line about how "a parasite shared is a parasite halved" when I came up with that title. XD As you might imagine, this is the trio first "unofficial" score, with them going to murder Bumby, because the fucker needs murdering. Of course, it's only after they kill him that they meet up with Smiler's parents and learn they were exonerated of the original "murder" by the Spirit Wardens. XD Still no regrets, though.

C) "The Van Dort Vacancy" -- came up with that title while looking at old Oxventure Presents: Blades In The Dark episode titles and being inspired by "The Cab-Con Caper's" alliteration. This story focuses on Alice and Smiler returning Victor to the Van Dort mansion...only to discover the Van Dorts hosting a party. Victor quickly learns that his parents never even considered the idea that he might be in danger when he vanished, only caring about the fact that Victoria Everglot married someone else (and is now due to wed Imperial Guardsman Christopher White after her first husband's death and disgrace) -- and after overhearing his mother declare "what ghost would marry our Victor?" decides fuck them, he's taking his stuff, stealing what money he can, and going to live with Alice and Smiler in Six Towers. Features special guests Barnaby "The Butcher" Fortescue III and Kasimir Jones from Oxventure Presents: Blades In The Dark, because it tickled me to imagine them doing a score to steal some of the Van Dorts' money at the same time -- only for Victor to catch on to what they're doing when he meets Barnaby at the party and go "if you wait five minutes for me to get my things, I will open the safe for you and give you a good chunk of the money inside." XD

D) The currently-untitled story detailing the gang's first "official" job as a crew, picked up when they go to dinner at the Ball & Socket Pub and Smiler overhears two workers from Coalridge discussing needing to get something back from their boss -- the "something" is a list of potential union representatives that the boss stole in order to call assassins on the people listed. The workers need it back to keep their nascent union safe. Notably, the score involves the workers saying they can't give the trio much in Coin, but they'll do what they can -- and then one of them jokingly saying, "Unless you want to be paid in furniture."

Cue Victor, Alice, and Smiler, who currently live in Elder Gutknecht's-not-exactly-comfortable house, going "what kind of furniture?" XD (A couch and a proper dining table, specifically -- old furniture one of the workers was trying to shift after inheriting some stuff from a late relative.)

E) "Who You Gonna Call?" -- As you might guess from the Ghostbusters quote for a title, this story involves the gang busting some ghosts. XD Specifically, it involves Bonejangles -- here a Whisper who does entertainment work for the Ball & Socket on the side -- deciding to school Victor in the art of ghost-catching by taking him on a job to catch a few Echoes (non-sapient ghosts who continually do the same thing over and over again in a loop), with Alice and Smiler tagging along for moral support. However, as it turns out, one of those "Echoes" is actually a Specter (a sapient, feral ghost who attacks people and possesses them to feed on their life force) who was biding its time... I felt a little bad that none of the previous stories really had any Whisper-y stuff for Victor to do, and decided he needed a "day in the limelight" score -- as a bonus, this score is how he gets his ghost-hunting equipment for later!

-->I also have plans for two possible prequel stories -- one showcasing the three times Alice and Smiler talked before the events of "Start At The Beginning...Sort Of" (I have the first bit, Smiler giving Alice the money for lunch, actually written already), and one showcasing some of Smiler's life even before that (I have a rough draft of the scene where they wake up the "morning" after inventing Joy Serum and go "bwuh?" over their newly-glowing yellow eyes). Good for filling in gaps and writing more stuff from Smiler's POV!

-->I mentioned Victor wanting to make a community greenhouse very briefly in the very first post I made about the AU -- this has expanded into a whole little arc about him finding an abandoned conservatory while wandering Six Towers and the gang fixing it up into a place where they and the other residents can grow food. In order, the stories would cover:

1) Getting enough money to pay a glazier to fix all the broken window panes (or doing something for the glazier in trade)

2) Acquiring the initial plants (which involves a trip to Barrowcleft and probably doing a job for someone there in trade)

3) Victor researching ways to infuse butterflies and moths with electroplasm to create radiant energy insects to help the plants grow; my idea is that he eventually tries mixing it with some of Smiler's Joy Serum -- and gets REALLY BIG bright yellow glowing moths, to his and Smiler's delight and Alice's concern

4) And then, once the place is just about ready to "open to the public," Lord Rowan, the only lord who maintains a permanent residence in Six Towers, rocks up, claims the greenhouse is his, and demands an absolutely ASTRONOMICAL rent from the trio to use it. Fortunately he proves to be a man who likes games when Smiler asks to negotiate, and tells them if they can break into his house and get the deed to the land from the safe in his bedroom, it's theirs (the trio smartly get this written down and notarized by someone in Charterhall first; Rowan is PIIIIISSED when he realizes he'll have to honor the deal)

-->A related idea would be for the gang to encounter some of the people in Charterhall (the neighborhood mostly made up of one big university) who are working on an alternative power source to help replace leviathan blood (which is refined into the electroplasm that powers everything electric in the setting) and need a place to test it. The trio decides that the alternative energy group can try to get the streetlights back on in Six Towers, and there's a score all around helping them get there safely, and keeping Lord Rowan's nose out of it until they're done. Not sure what exactly it will entail yet, but I'm eager to find out!

-->As stated in previous posts, the gang eventually has to go after Dr. Kelman when he puts out a notice saying he wants the three captured so he can submit them to his special "social compliance therapy" (aka do horrific brain surgeries on them and/or Hollow them by ripping out their souls). This is how Victor and Alice learn Smiler's birth name, and the whole trip proves to be a rather dark look at Smiler's childhood pre-running away and joining the Advocates. In fact, I already have one specific scene in mind of Victor finding a photograph of a young Smiler and noting that their smile in the picture looks incredibly strained, as if they're desperately trying to see the bright side. Also, Miles Cedars is definitely going to show up, and possibly get to murder Kelman. Because I like giving him the chance to murder Kelman. :)

-->Speaking of Smiler angst, I also have in mind a story where, on a particularly chilly night in winter, Smiler, Victor, and Alice are wandering the streets together when Smiler somehow falls into one of the local canals. Victor and Alice fish them out as fast as possible, fortunately, but the rest of the story proves a race against time to get Smiler home and warmed before they succumb to hypothermia. Featuring half-naked cuddling when they learn that skin-to-skin contact can be an excellent way to warm a chilled person (fortunately this is after they get together as a polycule, so the partial nudity isn't as awkward as it could be)...and Smiler crying in front of Victor and Alice for the first time when they can't stop thinking about the fact that, if they'd been walking with their fellow Advocates, said Advocates would have believed them when they said they felt okay...and they probably would have died. :( It is a story of many feels, is what I am saying.

-->So, when does my OT3 actually become an OT3 in the actual stories? Shortly after the Kelman score, in a story entitled "And There Was Only One Bed" (a play on the fic trope, and the fact that the house only has one good bed -- at the time the story starts, the three are taking turns using it, with the other two sleeping on cots borrowed from The Advocates). The story involves Smiler (who has been trying to subtly push Victor and Alice together, having noticed they seem to like each other) finally revealing to Victor and Alice that they're a pretty accomplished hypnotist, and offering to use their skills to help Victor with a nasty bout of insomnia. Victor agrees, with Alice wanting to watch for her own peace of mind -- cue Smiler hypnotizing Victor the next time the three of them are going to bed...

And a deep-in-trance Victor asking to be held as he falls asleep. Prompting both Smiler and Alice to cuddle him...and fall asleep against him because neither wants to get up and possibly disturb him after he does drift off. Meaning when everyone wakes up the "morning" afterward, they're all really awkward -- Alice because she's like "wtf why did I find that hot;" Victor because he's like "oh no I liked that too much and I have to process the fact that I'm in love with both of them now;" Smiler because "damn it I think I just decreased total happiness in this household should have kept my stupid mouth shut." They do their best to push through and complete the latest job they have though (a random "steal something from this rich fucker's house" deal, it's not actually important), which ends up with them having to clamber up onto the roof at some point --

And then Victor nearly falls off said roof. Prompting both Alice and Smiler to nearly have a heart attack and have their feelings toward him thrown into STARK RELIEF. Meaning they all finally have a chat once they complete the job and get back home, which allows them to finally discover that a) they're all willing to get into a polycule and b) that they actually have quite compatible kinks. Story ends with Smiler delightedly returning one of the cots to their parents (Alice insisted on keeping one in case one of them does want or need to sleep alone) and the three of them regularly sharing the bed. :)

-->I also want to do at least one follow-up concerning them starting to play around with hypnosis, and Alice insisting she wants to do something that will help keep Victor Victor no matter what they do to his head -- cue her and Smiler coming up with a safety suggestion that involves Victor picturing the core of his personality as a glowing tree, and then having him encase it in unbreakable glass so his personality can shine out, but nothing can get in. :) It's just a sweet scene that's been rattling around in my head for a while, and I'd like to put it to virtual paper.

-->I mentioned a "Lord E.A. Bethesda" in my Duskwall Slang post a while back, as a guy who gets labeled with the very-dangerous-in-Duskwall title "Welcher" (someone who hires someone for a job, but then decides to try and kill them instead of pay them; people who do this generally end up dead themselves). How does he get saddled with this label? By hiring the Three Pillars to steal a golden beetle statue from a rival (Lord Bethesda is a bug collector, you see), plying them with a hefty reward if they pull it off (which he can afford as the "Gambling King" of Duskwall -- his fortune was built off of getting lots of people to pay him small amounts of money in hopes of great reward). They do indeed pull it off --

And Lord Bethesda happily orders them killed by his guards, forcing them to escape his house in Brightstone. However, Bethesda (who has done this before) employs Plan B and has his guards herd them toward his garden and through a gap in the lightning barrier around his home --

Before turning said barrier back ON and stranding them in the HEAVILY ghost-and-horror-riddled Deathlands just beyond (specifically, they're in the Lost District, a formerly rich neighborhood that was abandoned once the lightning barriers went up). This leads into the sequel story, where the trio have to find a way back into the city while navigating the horrors of the Deathlands...which results in them discovering that Alice's Wonderland Jabberwock, inspired by an illustrated poem she read as a child, is actually based on a REAL CREATURE. Which has the horrible eye beam and wants very much to kill them. (And which may have the voice of Christopher Lee because I might as well throw in the nod to Tim Burton's Wonderland -- Victor is VERY CONFUSED as to why it sounds like Pastor Galswells.) They manage to kill IT instead by strapping Alice's Vorpal Blade (now a real thing, Victor bought it for her as a present) to Victor's ghost-catching kit while Smiler whacks together a sort of motorized skateboard thing for them to ride on and then using the electroplasmically-charged Blade to slice the damn thing's unprotected belly open. Alice claims one of the eyes as a trophy, and shortly thereafter they're found by the Spirit Wardens, who look at the corpse and go "let's just get you back inside the barriers, shall we?" Cue the the trio tromping back to the Ball & Socket and telling the clientele about their experience...leading to Lampblack gang leader Bazso Baz declaring Bethesda a Welcher, and the guy soon afterward getting killed.

-->Not that Baz is actually a friend to the trio -- for another future story has the trio invited to one of his fancy parties, supposedly to recognize how rapidly they've made a name for themselves in the Duskwall underworld. The three go, figuring it's a good way to keep relations good with their fellow criminals -- but are quickly rather disgusted by the party itself, as it feels pretty much like any party Nell Van Dort would throw (overly ostentatious and making it clear he's only in it for the power). They resolve to get through the shindig and head home...

And then Baz reveals that the actual reason they were invited was because they've collected a variety of bounties on their heads (including a big one from the Van Dorts, specifying Alice and Smiler have to die but Victor be brought home alive, and a huge one from Lord Rowan, wanting them ALL dead) and the other criminals want to claim them. Cue the Three Pillars having to try and find a way to escape from the house as the other criminals hunt them. Fortunately for them, they have unexpected allies in Baz's staff, with one guy in particular having a sister and nephew in Six Towers whom they've helped a lot (probably both in general with the greenhouse, and specifically by helping the kid when he got sick once). They eventually manage to get out with the staff's help, and limp their way back to Six Towers...

Just in time to see Lord Rowan trying to make a big speech to the citizens about "how your heroes are dead" and blah blah blah. He is gobsmacked to see the trio still alive, leading to, of all people, Smiler strolling up to him and clocking him in the face. XD Gaining the Three Pillars a reputation as, frankly, unkillable...

Aaaand I should probably cut it there because this post is getting long enough. XD And I haven't even touched upon all the stories I have in mind that are based off of other properties I like! Guess that would be a good follow-up post to this one, huh? :p

[the-acid-pear]

Coincidentally "ohh doggy!" Is the same thing that comes to mind spotting you out in the wild of my dashboard

Don't have any fucking doggy reaction pics only kitty cat and horsey so have this crude edit. Wags my tail at this ^_^ correct reaction too. If you catch me around you gotta do a Tommy Wiseau and hit me with the oh hi doggy!. It's the morally correct choice.

[ravenwolfie97]

genuinely i think i need to use the Boyfriends comic to talk about Genshin Impact hkjbjnlk

[gender-euphowrya]

y'know how the EU forced tech manufacturers to all start using The Same type of port for their charging cables to be more consumer & environment friendly

we should do that but with like the button layout on xbox & switch controllers

[kindred-spirit-93]

HOO BOI. i desperately want to write volumes about this topic alone but ill stick to a tag rant because is have so much studying lol.

demeter they could never make me hate you. you were imo the only sensible person in the myth(s) actually and a good mum. fuck u zeus

The story of Hades and Persephone isn't an abduction romance, or even a tragedy of not being able to be in two places at the same time. It's about how fucking wild it would be to have a mother who gives a shit about whether you're dead or alive, and whether you are happy.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Since you've mentioned Scarlet Lady in one of your posts, what's your opinion on it?

I've mentioned before that I'm a big Scarlet Lady fan, which is the only reason that I'm comfortable answering asks like this one. I don't publicly criticize the content of hobby creators. That's wildly inappropriate! Punch up, not down.

The linked post was a general discussion of the adaptation process and how @zoe-oneesama did a fantastic job, so for this one, I'm just going to do some general gushing because I do actually like praising and enjoying things!

Scarlet Lady's chosen format (comic) allows it to have this wonderful conversation with canon where it can rely on the framework of canon to tell it's own story while also using canon for jokes and meta commentary. This means that Scarlet Lady is about as close as fan content can get to a direct reboot because it's able to have moments like this one from the comic's first post:

[Image description: Adrien standing in his room after transforming into Chat Noir for the first time. He is beaming and his eyes are shining with excitement as he exclaims, "This is gonna be awesome!"]

A single picture that communicates everything we need to know about Adrien getting his miraculous. When I've done this same thing in fanfic, I had to write out the full scene because that's how novels work. You have to give the full picture. With a comic, you can just quickly acknowledge this thing that we all already know and then move on to the new stuff. A picture really is worth a thousand words! (Or, in my case, more like two thousand...)

This allows Zoe to keep the same akumas that we get in canon without her story feeling like a boring rehash because she can focus on what's different in her version. A novelization of the same content would have to show both the stuff that stays the same and the stuff that changes for it to be coherent. That's a lot less fun to read and write. It's why I basically never revisit canon akumas in my own stuff. It's just too derivative for the written word.

This is one of the big reasons that I loved Scarlet Lady. Because it was able to have that more directly conversation with canon, it was able to take canon and say, "hey, why don't we embrace the tone that you established in season one and retell the story with that vibe?" That's something that I desperately wanted to see, but that is totally unsuited to my chosen artistic form. It couldn't be a novel. It had to be a comic.

If you want to know what a true formula show version of Miraculous would look like, Scarlet Lady is it. It does everything that Miraculous should have done:

Sticks to a lighthearted tone where nothing is ever super serious

Keeps Gabriel entirely unsympathetic

Has slow character development and background hints at a bigger plot as the only serial elements, allowing the individual episodes to be their own story while never feeling incomplete or rushed

Allows characters other than Marinette to shine while keeping Marinette as the clear main character

Makes Adrien narratively important

MAKES THE LOVE SQUARE CUTE SO I CAN ACTUALLY SHIP IT

Understands that Lila and Chloe can't coexist as antagonists

Reverses the love square, which is the best way to tell their story. Yes, I will die on my "love diamond" hill. It's a good hill. Come join me. I'll bring cookies.

I could keep going, but you hopefully get my point. While Scarlet Lady is certainly not the only way to do a formula version of canon, it's proof that a formula version does work! You don't have to go the serious route for Miraculous to be successful.

I want to take some time to gush about the ending, but I don't want to spoil it, so I'll put that gushing under a "read more" in case anyone hasn't seen it. I'll finish out this less spoilerish section with this:

I feel like some people are surprised when they learn that I love Scarlet Lady because - as some of you have probably picked up - it is quite different from my ideal version of canon. I'm not sure why that would stop me from enjoying a thing, though. It's important to remember that our personal ideals are not the only way to tell a good story. There are lots of ways to take what canon gave us and make something wonderful! It's part of the reason that I enjoy being in a fandom.

If I only wanted to see my ideal take on canon, then I'd stick to writing/imagining my own stories. But I don't want that! I like seeing alternate takes, too. Scarlet Lady is one of my personal favorites. It's completely different from anything that I'd ever think to write and that's why I'm so glad that it exists! I like being entertained just as much as I like creating my own entertainment and I don't want to only read stories that look like something I'd write. That's boring!

Spoilers below:

I've mentioned before that there are many, many ways to properly handle Chloe's character and Zoe did such a good job with her take on that! Chloe isn't absolved of all the things she did wrong, but she's also treated as a young woman with the ability to change.

While the comic bares the name of Chloe's alter ego, she was the never the main character. She never went on a journey. The story kept her to her shallow season-one self: a petty brat who just wanted attention. It did this because that's who Chloe was in canon and who Chloe needed to be for the comic to work.

The first time we see any complexity from Chloe is in the comic's final few episodes, which was absolutely the right call for Zoe to make! In a recent post, I talked about how the end of a formula show is the only time when you can break the formula in catastrophic ways and that's what Zoe did. She kept Chloe static until it was time to end the story and that's when the formula breaks. That's when Chloe gets depth because, once she has depth, the formula doesn't work.

That depth is not used to redeem Chloe, but to show us that there's hope for Chloe. That this petty brat who we've been dealing with has some serious issues and needs help. Help that she's going to get far away from the people that she's hurt because her issues aren't an excuse for what she's done. They don't erase the harm that she caused. At the same time, understanding her issues makes us hope that she can be better now and Scarlet Lady took a moment to give us that hope. To show us the START of Chloe's true story.

That is the kind of ending that I have wanted to see in so many properties!!! It was so wonderful to finally get one that did this right. A story that understood that full redemption to the team and damnation to death/suffering are extremes on a scale of possibilities. You don't have to go to extremes! You can fall in the middle and the middle is a perfect, natural place for Chloe to land in this kind of story. Fully redeeming or even fully damning Chloe simply doesn't work in lighthearted formula content. It's too big a lift as canon has already demonstrated.

I also loved Zoe's take on Emilie. I've mentioned that I don't like evil Emilie in part because it makes her revival feel like the start of a new story. She's back and she'd bad, so we have to take her down now! But I don't want that. I want the story to end when Gabriel is stopped. Zoe does this by giving us an Emilie that is another perfect middle ground. She matches canon's uncomfortable implications without feeling like a true villain who is a threat to society.

[esleep]

i desperately need a new backpack to cart around all my Accessories because my current one is literally falling apart (one of the straps is only being held together by a knot) but i have very specific requirements and no idea how to verbalize them in a way that will allow me to get what i want. if anyone has backpack recs i’m open to suggestions.

[endless-ineffabilities]

chemical override (6)

Ewan Mitchell x actress!reader

a/n: I hope you all have found ways to cope after the breakup, but here all your questions will be answered on what went down pre-August! Special shoutout to @just-fics-station @thepurplecrown @clarkysblog @hotdismylife and @sprinklesprinkle888 for sharing your ideas and indulging me with the lovely, crazy discourse!

To everyone, I am so chuffed at how this has become OUR story - our lil self-indulgent Ewan Nation production. You all are aces <3

series masterlist ▪︎ main masterlist

In the aftermath of the breakup, the reader and Ewan throw themselves into their work, trying (and failing) to avoid any trace of the other. Will they remain this way - former lovers doomed to drift in each other's orbit?

Some time before August

New York City

The lush office was laden with expensive wooden antiques, one side with built-in shelves displaying film awards and plaques of varying degrees of prestige. A full glass minibar occupied the other side.

The casting director introduced himself as Bruce, insisting that Ewan call him by his first name and not any of that "sir or similar stick-up-the-ass names". Ewan can see him as a mentor or maybe even a friend, Bruce insisted.

After all, they were going to help each other out a lot.

The discussion was straightforward enough, never mind the saccharine tone Bruce seemed to be so good at. Aimed at making Ewan feel welcome, coddling him, remarking with awe at his projects thus far. But there was a fakeness to it. Ewan steeled himself, trying to adapt to the style of conversation. After all, if he is in this for the long haul, then he would have to get used to these situations.

Bruce appraised him, leaning back on his leather swivel chair. "How are you with the fantasy genre? All that YA, lovesick stuff the kids eat up so eagerly nowadays? Personally, I haven't got the taste for it, but it always makes bank, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, well, I'm a fan of all movies. I definitely see why the fantasy genre has made such an impact on audiences, especially with the romance element, you know, I get the appeal."

"Well, son, we've got a solid franchise in our hands here. Some adaptation of an elf-human love story, mind you, it sound ridiculous, but you know how it is. And the team seems to be in agreement - you fit the bill for the male lead. The male elf lead - " he almost guffawed at the thought, then collected himself " - hope you don't mind my saying that you've got elvish features yourself. Long nose, long jaw, lanky. The teens are going to eat you up."

"Ah," Ewan smiled curtly, nodding. There was a backhanded compliment if he ever heard one. "Well, sir, I've read the script - at least, the bit that was sent to me - and it looks quite promising. I'd be honoured to - "

"Of course, of course!" Bruce exclaimed in pleasure, cutting Ewan off mid-sentence. "And there's the case of your leading lady, and this all boils down to chemistry as you know. Our top contender is that Jenna Ortega girl from the Netflix show, you know her?"

Ewan nodded, well aware. He's seen her work, and thinks that she is a top actress of her generation, but leave it to Bruce to reduce her to being that girl from the Netflix show.

"Yes, she's a very talented actress," Ewan replied.

Bruce hums in agreement, head bobbing as a smirk materialises on his face. "Think she's a looker?" he said openly, without shame.

Ewan laughed nervously, his words caught in his throat.

Bruce, characteriscally oblivious to the discomfort of others, carried on. "I only ask because we're going to need you two to be pretty chummy with each other when you jump on this project. It's kind of a condition of the whole thing, but really nothing to concern yourself with." He waved a hand in the air, his proposition barely carrying any weight in his mind. But Ewan was catching on, and he started to develop a dislike about the whole deal.

"What do you mean?" Ewan asked.

"It's pretty common in this business, son. There's a reason why young, new actors like yourself opt to remain unattached so to speak, so they're always open to a PR arrangement or, you know, just so their - your - hoards of fans would think they got a chance with you," Bruce explains lazily. "In this case, since you and Ortega are, as I said, unattached, getting you two together would fuckin' do wonders for our movie."

Our movie, he said, convinced that Ewan was all in, because why would any young actor refuse such a golden opportunity? Franchises like this can set up an entire mainstream Hollywood career.

Ewan thought that he wasn't unattached. Granted, his date with you was yet to happen, but he already felt bound to you. He wished you were the one tapped to be his love interest. Very little acting would be needed there. Maybe he might even be inclined to go along with the idea of selling the relationship, using it for publicity for the film, but even that made him uneasy.

The industry offered a lot of privileges, but more often than not, they come at a cost.

"Sir, I - "

"Bruce."

"Right, sorry. Bruce, I have to tell you that I'm not exactly unattached."

"Got a partner?"

Ewan actually found himself smiling at the thought of you being called his partner. His first easy smile since entering this office. "Yes, she's an actress herself," he agreed.

"I heard of her?" Bruce asked with obvious disinterest. You were but a wedge in his flawless plan.

"She's kind of a new talent like me, but she's brilliant. She plays Alyna Rivers in our show."

"Ah her," Bruce loosened up a little. "I get it, she's a piece."

Ewan cleared his throat loudly, his jaw clenching on instinct. "So, like I said, I'm with her. I'm sorry but this whole PR arrangement with Jenna wouldn't work."

"Look, kid, I want my movie to do well, alright? I got a lot invested here. This PR thing has proven to be highly bankable time and time again. If you don't trust me, I can ask the team to show you the data on all that. It's a lot of boring numbers, but shit, the numbers are never wrong."

"I don't need to see - "

"If you wanna be with your girl, you can, but you just gotta learn to hide it. Sweep it under the rug, you know. Don't canoodle in public, you crazy kids," Bruce offered, like that made things any better.

"You want me to hide my relationship?"

"Hey, now, come on. Word gets around. Isn't your girl also doing this exact same thing with Jacob Elordi?"

"Not anymore, I don't think," Ewan clarifies, "and that was... that was hardly anything. They weren't obligated to do it. It just worked by chance because they were both single for a time."

"Po-ta-to, po-tah-to." Bruce clicked his tongue before making his next point. "So you see how it works, your thing with Ortega won't be any different."

"Do I have a choice?" There it is, the defining factor.

Bruce smiled slowly. The calculating and menacing air about him intensified, and it was obvious he was not there to be Ewan's friend.

"It would be stupid to refuse something like this, kid."

Ewan's blue eyes flashed in return. None of this was ideal, but his nan raised him well, and he knew better than to falter on his values in times of trial.

"Sir, what's stupid is if you ask me to hide my real relationship for the sake of mere publicity for a film."

"Stupid you say?" Bruce sneered, having already discarded Ewan in his mind, his fragile ego bruised. "What a shame."

There wasn't much to say after that. Bruce was clearly not disinclined to reveal the ice that settled in his veins, and it dawned on Ewan that it had always been the case. There was no true hospitality here.

For bigwig casting director-slash-execs like Bruce, this was a transaction. And Ewan was not about to put what he has, or what he could have, with you on the line.

There has to be another way to advance his career. If not bigger productions, then at least those with less domineering producers.

"That is a shame," Ewan said, getting up from his seat. "I won't waste any more of your time, sir. Thank you for considering me."

Bruce's eyes darkened even further. "You're actually refusing me? For some girl?"

Another genuine smile formed on Ewan's face at the thought of you. Some girl.

But you're not just some girl. He nodded without a trace of doubt in his mind, before reaching out to shake Bruce's hand. "If you don't mind, sir... I have to go and see my darling."

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Near the end of August

Los Angeles

The modern space sported a minimalist yet rustic feel, the interiors a blend of sterile white and sleek wooden surfaces. Very LA, as they say. The windowed walls offered plenty of light, as well as precious views of the valley below.

"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, Donna," you greeted Ewan's publicist as she ushered you in her LA office.

"No problem at all, sweetheart," she said. "Please, have a seat. Would you like some coffee or tea? Ewan always has his coffee with way, way too much sugar. Mind you, if that kid wasn't active and boxing all the time, I'd be worried for his health."

You smiled fondly at her genuine concern. "Don't even mention the cigarettes."

"Oh, yeah," she scoffed, settling down on the chair across from you. She could have sat down at her desk, making the meeting more official, but Donna's always had a friendly and open way about her. "So, my sweet, how's your new movie coming up?"

You respond eagerly. The dialogue flowed freely, talking about your film and the lukewarm reception of season 2 of House of The Dragon. And finally, Ewan.

"I really thought he would get the Greta Gerwig film," you said. "Everyone said he was perfect for it. I think Greta herself had nothing but praises for him when they met on Zoom."

She sighed thoughtfully, "I thought so too. And, theoretically, he did have that one almost booked up. But there was an issue with one of the producers, which - I don't even want to get into that."

You shook your head, catching on whom she hinted at. "Donna, I heard... well, it didn't go too well in New York, didn't it? Ewan told me about it but... if you can tell me more, I just want to understand why - "

"Sweetheart," she offered a smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes, "you should talk about this with Ewan."

"I tried. But he wouldn't budge. Mallory told me... that it might have been because of me that he didn't get the role? And also why he's struggling to get roles now? Donna, I... I can't have that."

It took some time for her to formulate a response. She didn't want to step in something that's none of her business. Your relationship with Ewan is yours. But when his career is on the line, she supposed that she needed to have some say in that.

"He met with this top producer in New York. This real old money Hollywood guy. For decades, he's built careers for the greats, you know - Pitt, DiCaprio, Theron, and whatnot. There was a franchise project practically offered to him on a plate, but Ewan refused, because a non-negotiable was that he would have to hide you in favour of a PR arrangement with his leading lady."

You swallowed, the weight of the truth making itself clear. "Couldn't he have just done the movie without that?"

"You would think," she grimaced, "but some producers... when they want something, they have to get it. And well, Bruce wasn't lying, that would have sold the movie well."

"I thought we were past this," you expressed sadly. "I understand how PR relationships work. Just recently, I found myself kind of in the middle of one. But there was no pressure, it wasn't forced on us, and it was meant to be all in good fun."

"I know, sweetheart," she insisted, reaching out to squeeze your hand. "Bruce is an outlier now. Most of the time you do get lucky, with an all-around supportive production team, just like with your project with Elordi."

You hummed in agreement on that positive note, but your mind kept drifting back to Ewan.

Donna continued, wrapping up her story, "but Bruce is still here, and he still has a lot of power. But you know, it'll be fine. Ewan's got such a huge fanbase and so much talent that it'll only be a matter of time before something else knocks on his door."

You wanted to share her sense of optimism, but something ate at you. What else will Ewan have to sacrifice just to be with you? This was his dream, his one dream, and you were standing in the way. How much longer before he is offered another project but he refuses to take it for your sake? Your thoughts blurred together, bordering on irrational, but you couldn't help it.

All you could picture was the unabashed sincerity on his face, that sense of wonder, when he told you that acting had always been his dream.

Being tied down to you, this early in his career, would surely only hurt him. And you don't think you're worth it.

"Ewan loves you, sweetheart. Anyone with eyes can see that," Donna said after a while, heeding the storm brewing in your expression.

He loves you. It was true.

Less than a month in, and you've already found yourself with a love that you've never felt before. And perhaps never will again.

And that was the problem.

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Late September

The podcast moderators are overly welcoming, if not a little loud for Ewan's taste.

The BBC podcast is called Loose Ends, and it's one of the first things Ewan agreed to take on upon returning to England.

He had wanted to head straight home to Derby, to bury himself in his heartache and bitterness, but the team for the show tapped him for a couple more promotional stints, riding on the high of the season finale. And who better than Ewan to offer to the media, the undeniable fan favourite.

Clad in an old gray shirt and blue jeans, people would think he just rolled right out of bed. He didn't really have the motivation to put in more effort. The only striking thing about him is his newly bleached head of hair, supervised by his stylist for a photoshoot a few days ago.

It was ironic, the timing of such a change. Ewan knew that if word got out that you dumped him, he would never hear the end of the joke of that being the reason for his hairstyle change, typical of all heartbroken sods.

Everyone bursts into laughter when he tells them about his mum's reaction to his nude scene. It feels like going through the motions, and he must have been so out of it, so forlorn, that his team prepared an outline for him prior to the interview. The questions and answers all pre-agreed.

Make them laugh. React as required. Remember to speak when spoken to. The mantra goes on in his head.

And don't think about her.

An impossible task, worsened when a moderator goes off script and asks, "Now it wasn't me who saw this, as I'm not on social media myself, but one of our interns did mention that you ventured into Instagram recently? Is that true?"

Oh fuck.

"Mmm, yeah, I guess," Ewan laughs nervously, his hand massaging the back of his neck in a self-soothing motion.

"And your first post went viral? What can you tell us about that? Our listeners would love to know."

"Uhhhm - " He remembers that the broadcast is live, and he can't exactly ask them to edit this part out, so he quickly settles for something indirect. Inconclusive. Safe. " - did it go viral? I'm not too sure how that thing works. I haven't used any kind of social media before."

"Apparently it did! And it had to do with the subject featured in that photo, Ewan. Your costar - "

"Mmm," Ewan stops him there, "didn't you say that you don't use Instagram?"

"No, I think I'm too old!" The moderator laughs.

"It's insane, that whole thing," Ewan shakes his head. "I don't know how to handle it. I'm logged off most of the time."

"Oh, you log off?"

"Yeah, yeah, helps me keep my focus, you know. Keep calm and all that."

"It can get frivolous, can't it?"

Ewan hums in agreement, and thankfully, the moderator moves on to his last question. One that does not breach the subject of you.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

Another day means yet another media stint for Ewan, this time for Now TV.

Still in London, his stylist Davey and the rest of the team prepare him for a day of brief interview clips, to be posted on the social media pages of the company.

Davey had half-joked about Ewan needing even more concealer than usual, the shadows under his eyes having significantly deepened after the breakup.

Some of his team have gotten wind of what happened. They would curiously ask about you, how often Ewan keeps in touch with you while you're on set...

You must be on FaceTime everyday!

Is it hard to be doing long-distance so soon?

Do you miss her? Is that why you're not getting any rest?

...but Ewan would only laugh uncomfortably, dismiss it by bringing up another topic or shifting the attention to someone else, or excuse himself to go for a smoke.

He'd been drowning himself in cigarettes and caffeine during the day, pint after pint in the nighttime. Aimless.

He is coping. He knows how it must look, but he deserves this. He deserves to drift for a while. It's the only thing he can do to keep himself from jumping on the next flight to Atlanta and begging for your hand back.

You said you love him. You did. He hangs on to it like a beacon in a storm. No matter how pointless it may seem, with you choosing someone else over him.

Work is becoming something of an anchor, something that keeps him from spiralling. He's an actor, and he has always wanted to be an actor. People now have expectations of him, and he will answer the call.

The interview session begins with generic questioning, stuff he's answered before on several occasions.

How special is the bond between dragon and rider?

What is a funny moment from set that you can share?

How similar are Aemond and Daemon?

All safe. He's proud of himself for not breaking mental clarity thus far. You're in the back of his mind, dormant as a memory, and not something looming darkly over him. For a while, at least.

But then he is asked, If you could invite any 5 people to a Ewan Mitchell dinner party, who would you pick?

"Matthew McConaughey - "

You.

" - Bruce Lee. I think they could strike up an interesting conversation - "

Your name echoes in his mind, and he can't control it.

" - Andrea Riseborough. She's just a chameleon, like in any role she undertakes -

You have great taste. Even if you would make him eat spicy food again, he'll take it. He'll endure anything for you.

He's stumped for a second, lump in his throat, and his effort in avoiding you leads him to mention someone who will always be a comfort to him.

" - Maybe my nan, because I miss her -

Your name. He has to say your name. Who else? Think of someone else.. but who else? Who would be better?

" - and then, another person. Let's make it from the show... it would be Alyna Rivers."

"Oh really?" The interviewer asks. She's not really meant to respond in this instance, but she knows that the fans would go crazy about any mention of you or your character, so why not jump on this opportunity? "Can you tell us why you chose her?"

"Uhhm, well, she's just an amazing character, you know, fiercely loyal, beautiful, tenacious," Ewan replies easily, "so yeah, she would make for good company."

It is obvious that he is describing you just as much as he does Alyna Rivers, and no doubt, the fans will catch on to this detail.

Later, he's asked about his favourite part about season two, and he duly answers, "Seeing more of Aemond and Vhagar's bond and how that perhaps have gotten stronger. Aemond has definitely reined her in, after the accident at Storm's End."

Then, "There are some new additions to the show. Do you have a particular favourite?"

Another obvious piece of bait. And he takes it, he doesn't care anymore. What's the use of denying the truth?

"A favourite new character? Oh, well, uhmm... I really do like Alyna, and I think I've said before that Aemond and her are quite similar in a sense that they both know what they want and how to achieve it. It's just a shame they're on opposing sides, because if those two get together... " he trails off, leaving it up to the audiences to fill in the rest of the thought.

And they eagerly do. The clips where Ewan mentions Alyna get the most traction, flooded with comments that more or less talk of the same thing -

We know why you chose Alyna, Ewan. We know your ways.

He could have said Alys. Or Gwayne. Or even the ghost of Daeron ffs. But nooooo.... it's Alyna Alyna Alyna 😮‍💨

I wonder if she's there behind the scenes

yeah shes definitely lurking in the background!

Aemond and Alyna better have at least a scene together in season 3!!!!!

Someone kidnap Ryan Condal and make him write this

Ewan doesn't see any of it. Not that he's missing out, because he soon feels the need to call his younger cousin to ask her how to turn off his notifications on Instagram.

Day in and day out, his one single post gets dozens of new comments and likes, a brutal reminder of what he's lost. He could just delete it, and get rid of his profile entirely, but he hates to imagine the discourse that would follow.

All the invasive allegations and rumours. So he leaves it be. It makes no difference to him now. Let people believe what they want.

To his chagrin, he finds himself scrolling on his home page once in a while. The addictive element to it was true, and for him, it's exacerbated because the things he sees are often related to you.

Photos of you from fanpages and news accounts. Ones where your friends have tagged you. It's a toxic habit, looking through it all, but he can't help himself.

Then one day, as he's slouched on the seat in his London apartment, phone propped on his knees, he sees a cutout photo of his face on the corner of the screen. He clicks on it, and it's an image of him interposed among different posts. Posts which he apparently liked.

"Oh for fuck's sake," he cusses at himself, reading the caption.

Boyfriend lurking? - Ewan Mitchell may play a formidable TV villain, but in real life, he's just like us. Click on the link in bio to see his series of liked posts!

Dread takes root in him, followed by self-loathing. Why couldn't he just keep off this bloody thing? He takes to the comments to see what he has allegedly liked on accident and it's predictably photos of you - you at a premiere, stills of you as Alyna, and even, heavens fucking forbid, a behind the scenes shot of you getting pretty close with Jacob Elordi on the set of your film.

He vividly remembers seeing that last one, because he went on a bender after coming across it.

Cursing himself and his wayward, sticky fingers, he exits the app and deletes it from his phone.

Whatever goes on there, whatever people might leave on his profile, he washes his hands of it.

He calls up several of his mates, asking them if they want to come over for a few drinks.

"Again, Ewan?" one of them exclaims. "C'mon, you gotta take a breather, mate."

"I don't need a breather." I need her.

"Ewan - "

His composure breaks, all his damned frustrations rising to the surface, and he confesses, "I wonder if she thinks about me."

"Hang in there, mate. We're coming over."

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October

The director finally yells a satisfied, "Cut!"

It's only taken a good twenty-something takes for you and Jacob to nail a challenging scene. You had been on a roll since the beginning of the shoot, the last few weeks seemingly a breeze on paper, though it's a constant struggle to keep it together.

You've had to quell your internal dialogue so it does not stray to him. His smile. The feel of his skin against yours. His way of subtly picking up on details, and doing sweet things that surprise you as a result.

But you received word just before the scene that a few of your friends have come to visit, waiting back at your trailer - Phia, Fabien and his girlfriend, Bella.

And so, as if on instinct, Ewan is all you can focus on, every repressed memory of him rushing in like a tidal wave.

Do they know? What could you possibly say to justify what you did? You can only hope he took on that project, to give you a bitter sense of vindication.

It's the only thing that keeps it all the bay, the only thing that keeps you from jumping on the next flight to England and grovelling at his door.

Phia has her arms wrapped around you the moment you open the door to your trailer, loudly squealing, "I missed you!"

You sink into the hug, comforted by her presence.

As well as the fact that she represents some connection to Ewan.

Phia, Helaena. Helaena, Aemond. Aemond, Ewan.

It's a sick game to play, but it's what you have.

"Hey, yous," you hug Fabien and Bella in turn. Not long after, you're all lounging on director's chairs right outside your trailer, enjoying a bit of sun.

"How's our big Hollywood star?" Phia quips, her lips curling in her trademark pleasant upturn.

"Hardly a star," you shake your head fondly. "More of an indie darling."

"Of course, of course," she relents, before going on a monologue about how she's been keeping tabs on your project, how she just adores the costume designer whom she spoke to at length while you were working, and how the rest of the cast is rooting for you.

The rest of the cast.

"Ah, are they?" you ask, making a conscious effort to not simply blurt out his name. What does he think? Has he mentioned you at all?

Do they know?

Do they secretly hate you for what you did?

"Mhmm, right Fabs?" she says.

"Oh, definitely." Fabien agrees right away.

"How's your film? Are you done shooting in Philly?" you ask him.

"Just about done, but I think we're doing some final reshoots next week. I'm just glad my girl's here to visit," he slings an arm around Bella, who smiles and leans closer to him.

You smile at the sight, but it visibly falters. Ewan could be visiting you on set right now, just like Bella with Fabien, if you hadn't fucked it all up.

They notice.

"Love," Phia sighs, her tone softening. "I just want you know - we want you know - we're here for you, okay? No matter what you went through with... " A pause. Like saying his name would open up the floodgates.

Your gaze falls to your lap in shame. You pick on invisible lint on your trousers. Bite your lip. Breathe deeply.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

"So you guys know, huh?"

"Well, more or less," Phia says. "I just spoke with... Ewan... recently. He's back in Derby for the time being, and he's - "

"He's a bit rough," Fabien says firmly. He's not taking sides here, but he's heard from Ewan, and he feels the need to have his mate's back. "Look, I don't want to pry, but what happened? It seemed like you guys were doing so well together!"

"You don't have to tell us," Phia adds, shooting Fabien a look. "But if you want to, we're here to listen. We love you both and we just want to help, love."

You feel your eyes welling up. Leave it to Phia to be oh so sweet. You can't lie to them, you don't want to. Even if you did, they would see right through it.

Your friends know you too well.

"I... I miss him."

Phia squeezes your hand, and the whole story is about to spill out of you when you hear your name being called.

It's your assistant Clara, letting you know you're needed back on set.

You swallow back tears, standing on your feet, trying to maintain enough composure so you can grant yourself access back to your character.

"Go do your thing, superstar," Phia smiles comfortingly. "We'll be here when you're ready."

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November

"I'd like to propose a toast," Tom declares out loud in the empty pub, "to Ewan, Hollywood's new elf... Lord? Prince? Ah sod it, cheers!"

Round the table, Ewan, Fabien, Luke and Elliott all raise their pints with a collective, "Hear, hear!"

The pub has been cleared out for the lads, thanks to a favour called in by the twins, with the owner being their gym buddy and good friend.

"Thank you," Ewan replies, smirking. "I am your new elf prince, address me as such."

"Your ears have never been pointier, mate," Luke quips.

After a month of moping back home in Derby, or recovering as Ewan prefers to put it, he got a call from his manager telling him that the offer from Bruce still stands.

Apparently, the production team for the movie still had him tapped as the prime choice for the lead. After observing his audience metrics and overall viability, they decided that the movie would fare the best with him in it.

They had planted some half-baked announcements in the media, stating that it was Ewan against Joseph Quinn and Manny Jacinto for the role, and the fan reaction veered in Ewan's favour by a landslide.

Even though Bruce had an unsavoury word or two to say about him, he was willing to work past it, so long as Ewan would be more amenable to his demands.

After careful deliberation, Ewan chose to throw caution to the wind, and accept the role. So what if he has to pretend to have a real-life romance with Jenna? This is what you wanted.

"I'm glad you finally came out to see us, mate," Fabien says. "It's been a while."

"Yeah, fuck's sake. Remind us never to break your heart! That was tough to witness, you hunkerin' down out there all mopey and whatnot," Elliott laughs.

"Mmm." Ewan takes a swig of his beer to hide the wince he couldn't hold back. His friends, and most of the cast know by now, not in too much detail, of what went down between the two of you.

A typical short-lived romance of two actors. A summer fling. Most of them would look back and only see it as that.

Even though it was so much more. Even though Ewan still recalls how warm and soft and beautiful you felt as you whimpered underneath him, the loss of you as painful as getting hit by a freight train.

The liquor helps. Burying himself in work helps. Denial... well, that certainly helps the most.

When he goes out to the back garden for a smoke break with Fabien, he tricks himself into believing it's mere curiosity that compels him to say, "Phia mentioned that you guys went to Atlanta."

Fabien is rendered off guard, because he knows what's coming. "Yeah, we did. Bella came with us too. She was visiting me on set," he says, measuredly.

"Mmm." A long drag, a flick of ash towards the ground, an unaffected shrug - and eventually, with as impassive of a tone as he can muster, Ewan asks, "So how is she?"

Fabien smiles knowingly. "She's doing great. Her film's looking pretty good." He's privy to the truth, after he and Phia managed to gently coax it out of you over several martinis at a hotel bar in Atlanta. But he doesn't think it up to him to reveal that to Ewan, out of respect for your privacy.

While he might not share your sentiment, he thinks it's not in his place to tell Ewan that you basically lied for his sake.

But that doesn't mean he won't drop a helpful nugget or two.

"You know, I don't exactly know what's going on... but her and Jacob came across as nothing more than friends."

Ewan's hand freezes mid-air, the cigarette inches from his lips. He loathes the sense of hope that immediately bloomed in his chest. He's so bloody easy. One miniscule hint, and his delusions break through the wall of indifference he worked so hard to build.

"She said she has feelings for him," Ewan stresses, trying to convince himself. What was the fucking point of all this... this pain... if you never did?

"Hey, mate, I dunno," Fabien puts his hands up, "just telling you what I saw."

"It doesn't matter." It does. "She ended it." He wants you back, he will always want you back. "It's better this way."

"Is it?"

Ewan doesn't answer. He doesn't know how to, without grossly embellishing the truth.

Fabien watches his friend, sensing his hesitation as he averts his gaze. One thing becomes clear to him - you and Ewan are far from being over.

So he says, "She misses you, you know."

Ewan regards him with a stony look, one that slowly softens to reveal the broken boy inside. For but a moment, before he clears his throat and throws the butt of his cigarette on the ground.

"Let's head back inside."

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December

You're back in London, as production for your film is paused for the upcoming holiday season.

Work is supposed to be the last thing on your mind, but it just so happens that your manager has you booked for a chemistry read for a yet undisclosed film.

Phia came over to your apartment, insisting that she help you get ready. When you asked how she found out about your audition, she was quick to say that she was up for the role as well but didn't think it was right for her.

"Why not?" you ask, as she hovers over you, patting blush on the apples of your cheeks.

"Oh, you just get a feel for these things."

"Phi, it's just a chemistry read," you say, when she reaches for the mascara. "I don't need to get all dolled up for this."

She gasps, "Oh, but this is showbiz, darling. We always have to put a face on."

"Fine," you relent. "Do your worst."

The makeup she ends up doing on you is minimal, but it enhances your features just the right amount. You rush through your final preparations, folding up the script sample you were given and stuffing it in your purse.

Phia stands out on your balcony, in the middle of a call. The window screen is slightly open, so you hear snippets of the conversation as you walk by.

"Is he ready?" she asks. Who's he? You assume it's the guy you are doing the read with.

You don't know about him, but you are ready, so you stick your head out to say, "I gotta go, Phi."

"Oh!" She startles a little, angling her phone away. "Already?"

"Yeah, the read's at 4, I believe. Just lock the door when you leave, 'kay?"

She hurriedly whispers something to her phone, presumably ending her call. "I'll actually head out with you," she grins. "My work here is done anyway."

"Any plans for the night?"

She shrugs, "Might meet with Tom and Martha."

"Oh, why don't I meet you guys after my thing?"

"Uhhhm," she chews on her lip, thinking. Under her breath, you barely hear her mumble, "... hoping you'd be busy."

"What?" A restrained chuckle escapes you, confused as to why she's being so coy.

"Nothing," she tilts her head. "We can meet if you'd like."

The weird exchange is out of your mind when you arrive at the casting agency. You run the scene through in your head as you walk in the building, up the elevator, down the long hallway.

It's a heartfelt scene, if not a little tense, a dialogue between reunited ex-lovers.

Your manager Polina and publicist Mallory greet you at the doors, swiftly briefing you before directing you in.

"They're waiting, just walk right in, doll," Polina says.

"Okay, wish me luck!" You have your hand on the door handle when Mallory strangely remarks, "Don't hate us, sweetheart!"

"Why would I - "

"Go, go," Polina guides you in, then shuts the door behind you.

The office sports an spacious and open layout, with plenty of natural light streaming through large windows. The primary workstation is partially hidden behind a subtle partition. You see silhouettes of a few people behind it, so you walk down that way.

The figures reveal themselves soon enough - the casting agents you recognise as Patrick and Amie, sitting in front of the actor you're meant to read with.

A range of emotion washes over you, but you don't even have time to reckon with them. The casting agents divert your attention from Ewan, as they approach you with wide smiles in greeting.

"So nice to finally meet you!" Amie croons. "Take a seat. You two already know each other, of course. Between us, there won't really be a question of chemistry here."

"Right?" Patrick adds, looking between you and Ewan. "The fans sure think so, and we have to say we already agree."

"So just give us a minute to set up," Amie says. "Then we'll start."

You smile stiffly, settling down on the opposite end of the couch. You keep your gaze straight, trying to keep your attention on Patrick as he sets up the camera. Your heartbeat races the entire time, and you feel your hands getting clammy.

"They're all in on it," you hear Ewan say, prompting you to finally look at him directly. You take him in hungrily, admiring his outline, ever so handsome with his Targaryen-blonde hair and black leather jacket.

A weak "Mmm?" is all you can muster.

"Our teams, Tom, Phia... they set us up. Tom came over and I overheard him on the phone with Phia."

"Oh," you mumble. He doesn't even spare you a glance, leaning on the armrest on his side of the couch. He looks as if he'd rather be anywhere but here, next to you, and it hurts.

It's what you deserve.

"Is this not a real chemistry read?" you ask meekly.

"I suppose it is," he laughs humourlessly, "but it's not a coincidence that you and I just happen to be the only ones scheduled for today." He turns to you, giving you a critical sideways glance. "Didn't see that coming, did you?"

"I... I can leave if you want - "

"Mmm," his brows furrow, "you do seem to be good at that."

You look away. He is not being fair, but you weren't neither, that wretched night back in September.

And he is making you pay for it now.

But then you hear him speak in a softer tone, "Stay."

Stay. When you look at him once more, his attention is entirely on you, arm outstretched on the couch like he just tried to reach for you but decided against it.

Stay, he asked. So you do.

It's what you should have done, months ago.

"Okay, guys. Whenever you're ready," Amie says. She and Patrick take their seats in front of you, with the camera on a stand between them.

The script crinkles on your lap as you hold it with shaky fingers. "It's been a while," you read out your opening line.

The dialogue plays out twisted and ironic, now that you know who your scene partner is.

"Hardly," Ewan responds in character. "I feel like no time as passed."

"Feels like a lifetime."

He pauses, then sighs, "Do you even miss me?"

"How... how can you even ask me that?"

"How can I - "

"Why didn't you... why didn't you fight for me?" your voice breaks, the lines hitting a bit too close to home.

"You're a fucking hypocrite," he spits with venom. "You weren't exactly giving me anything to fight for."

"I did it for us. I did it all for us." If you didn't feel like crying at the weight of the scene, you would have rolled your eyes at the similarities.

"Like I said - nothing to fight for."

"Nothing? So you're telling me I was nothing to you."

"No," he levels you with an icy look, "you were everything to me. Everything. But you left me behind, and for what? So you can run off with the rebel sect?"

"The mission needed me. You wouldn't understand." You feel a sense of relief when the sci-fi elements roll in, otherwise you might have given in to your emotions and sobbed right there on the damn couch.

"I needed you," Ewan says, eyes not leaving yours. "I needed you and you abandoned me, just like that."

"And are you not better for it? When I left, did they not make you General?"

"See, that is the difference between you and I," he says coldly. "I wouldn't have traded what we had for anything - no position, no amount of wealth, no glory... I would have chosen us every time."

"Aaand cut!" Patrick jokes, effectively breaking the tension.

The two of you have unconsciously drifted closer, now only a foot part. Ewan does not drop your gaze, watching you closely. You see his eyes flit down to your parted lips, and he leans in almost imperceptibly.

"Alright, how about we go one more time?" Amie says, diverting your attention. "Give us a different take, and then that's it!"

Ewan settles back on his end of the couch. When he reads his lines again, his tone is harsher and he no longer meets your eyes.

Patrick and Amie commend you both afterward, singing praises about your acting abilities. Ewan is polite as always, blushing and grateful, but he practically dashes out of the door when the meeting finishes.

You're left standing with Amie, as Patrick has taken to his laptop to file the footage.

"The way he looks at you," she sighs dreamily, referring to Ewan. "You'd think the sun shone out your arse, doll."

"He... he was just in character," you disagree. "He's a good actor, as you know."

"Yeah, I mean, he nailed the part's rancour perfectly. But his eyes - oof - you've got a good one there."

Oh. Of course they would still assume you and him are together.

How desperately you want it to be true.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

An hour later, you've just sent Phia a text saying - You owe me. Where do I meet you guys?

But you hear a knock on your apartment door. If you didn't buzz anyone in, it can only be a neighbour or someone the doorman recognised.

Someone familiar to you.

And it's him.

"Ewan?"

"I need to speak with you."

You step aside so he doesn't linger at your doorway. He walks past you, a welcome if not unexpected presence in the room.

You can't decipher his expression, his gaze angled downward as he leans against your kitchen counter.

When the silence becomes almost deafening, you laugh awkwardly, about to make some silly remark on whether he is still in character. But he doesn't let you diffuse the tension.

"I want you," he blurts out without warning. "God help me, I still want you. I think I might have a fucking problem because how can I... after what you did - " A momentary glance of betrayal, but you see the spite clear in his eyes. " - but I do. I can't get you out of my system."

"I'm sorry - "

"I don't need that," he says sharply. "I don't need your sorry. I need you. I need to have you, and maybe this way, I'll satisfy whatever pointless desire I still have in me."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying - I'm asking - will you let me have you?"

"Ewan, I don't under - "

"I'm saying that we should sleep together," he says bluntly, and it feels like the rug has been pulled from under your feet, "but only just. You won't be mine, and I won't be yours."

"You're kidding."

He shakes his head, before adding, "Don't worry. It'll be our little secret. To the rest of the world, I'll have a different girlfriend anyway."

His words register, along with the bitter ache at his words, that you won't be his, he won't be yours. This is purely for pleasure. There used to be love here, and now he just craves the comfort your body allows.

You'll be using each other.

You should refuse. This is not healthy; this is not how you move on. Can you even go back to being good friends after this? But also - what have you got to lose?

What, except for him, and for good this time?

What, except everything?

"So what do you say - " He closes in on you, and with every bit of malice intended, the name no longer possessing the sweetness it once held, he sneers, "- darling?"

💌 next chapter

Taglist: @namelesslosers @skymoonandstardust @valyrianflower @luckyfirebasement @omgsuperstarg @elissanatok @callsignwidow @sinistersnakey49 @darkwriteracademia @yyrzmomo @queenofshinigamis @luvaerina @shamelessblazecrown @mirandastuckinthe80s @elleinex0x0 @pierrotlu @aegonswife @strangersunghoon @lunampacheco @writer-ann-artist @gaiaea @of-swords-and-words @ateliefloresdaprimavera @m00n5t0n3 @helaenaluvr @peachysunrize @annie-ruk @luvly-writer @ananas26t @athenafaes @lovelyteenagebeard @mamawiggers1980 @moongirl27 @katherine93 @barnes70stark @justbelljust @cloudroomblog @somestufftoday @esposadomd @girl-in-the-chairs-void @insideyourimagination @vyctorya @wildrangers @livcookesgf @onlyrealjoy (continued ... )

Some notes in the margins...

Well well well... the transition from friends to lovers to strangers to angsty FWBs sure is a slippery slope!

The time jumps are so we get through the moping quicker! It's mostly back to the regular shenanigans in the next part. Only, you know, angst-ridden. But you hurt Ewan, reader. *wags finger* Don't say you didn't expect this switch! Tsktsk

So what now - will you accept this arrangement? Will things ever be truly okay? Part 7 is going to be hot and hilarious and stupid and messy, just as the doctor ordered.

Let's hash it out in the comments, shall we? 🗡💕

[luludeluluramblings]

Conner Kent's Obsession with Smalltown!Reader

A/N: I saw a few people liking the Superfam stuff and finally went nuts attempting this Conner bit. I tried. I tried so hard. I added dialogue. I'm used to the YJ Conner, but this is my attempt at Comic Conner. If he's OOC, oops. Yeet. (I attempted to research, I swear.) Might edit this some later.

A/N: I write Reader with an accent. One, cause that's how I talk. Two, cause I like it like 'dat.

A/N: I'm also almost done with Part Seven, but I'm adding dialogue to that too to make the breaking point a tad bit more impactful. I've never really written dialogue before.

Warnings: Slight Yandere themes. Romantic Yandere. (Very subtle.)

Conner’s run-ins with Reader always seemed to piss Tim off. Especially after Tim started researching into Reader. He would occasionally always beg Tim to invite Reader to hang out. And, he would find himself rejected every single time. Before it was probably due to Tim being dramatic. Now, he certain of this, it's because Tim dramatic and jealous overprotective.

On other occasions, he'd just by pass Tim, leaving him to his cases (and creeping) so hecould sneak and bother reader. They’re kinda cute, in his opinion. Of course they call him a big city boy and said he clearly lived off of his daddy’s money. Which was only kind of wrong. But, they way they said it made his a trail of heat crawl down his spine.

After some time had passed, he knew that Tim and the other members of the family were suspicious about him coming to the manor so much. He never tried to hide his reasons There was no point in hiding behind weak excuses. He respected the Bats too much to even think he could fool them. Plus, lying to the Bats was a good way to get stabbed with a kryptonite knife. Even though they had made it pretty clear that they disapproved of him coming around so often, He was still going to keep visiting. Could they really blame him? It wasn’t his fault he was enamored so easily. 

He kept his distance just a bit. Like he was silently (commanded) requested. He could tell he made the newest addition to the family a bit uncomfortable. And, he understood. The clone thing was kinda freaky after all.

Well, at first he had assumed it was because he was a clone. That would make any normal person feel a bit weird. But, then he heard them keep call him that nickname. City boy. The way it rolled off their tongue and how often it was said was clearly a sign. They weren’t bothered by the clone thing. They just didn’t like his personality. He could fix that. That wasn’t that hard. He was adaptable.

So when he approached them again, for the million time, he tried to play up the cool and collected act. Going as far as to emulate the Batman. Which, surprising made the ice break. When they laughed at him.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

"No, seriously why are you acting like that?" You're still giggling at how hard he was trying to play up the serious act. Cause that's all it was. You don't doubt he could genuinely be serious for a moment, but this wasn't one of those moments.

"I'm just letting you see a different side of me, is all." Conner replies, trying to keep it up even though he had been quickly caught.

"You mean the imaginary side, city boy? I didn't realize you liked to play pretend." Another teasing snort. God, how you needed that laugh.

"I'm not pretending."

"Yeah, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yeah."

"No."

"Yes, you are. Don't be lyin' to me now. Or, Imma start gettin' upset."

"Okay, okay... How could you tell?" He conceded after a moment. The way he scratched the back of his head suited him much more than that little Oscar performance he was putting on a few seconds prior.

"I'm observant." Comes the mock arrogant reply. It was hard to give him a cold shoulder when he just made you laugh so genuinely in the last few weeks.

"Oh, look who's playing pretend now." The snark on his tongue doesn't have any heat, but it does bring you some relief. A bit of much needed normalcy.

Maybe it's the fact that the loneliness has slowly crawled into your chest and burrowed it's self deep in that hollow part of you, but it's easy to let your guard down around him for once. You had noticed his efforts to get to know you before, and maybe you let those preconceived notions cloud your little head. But, there was no need for them anymore. The twinge of glee he sparked was enough to burn them away and make you pause before you would rebuild those walls of yours.

"Are you saying I'm not observant?"

"Yep."

"The audacity!" The outrage nothing more than a sham. A simple way to fill the air between them. Cause even if the talk was small, just the hint of it filled something in you. That didn't make your curiosity fade, however. "But, seriously, why are you impersonating Bruce? And in his own house, no less."

The brief silence that washes over you both has you already regretting this. Had it really so long since you've had a proper conversation that you were this out of practice?

When he finally speaks again, it is gives you relief and more regret.

"I just wanted to finally get your attention."

Well, doesn't that make you finally fit in with the rest of your family?

Your tongue brushes over your teeth in an attempt to get the lead coating that made your words weigh heavy in your mouth off of it.

"I'm sorry, Conner. I- I've been smallminded haven’t I?"

"No, I get it. The whole clone thing is freaky." He starts, a light flush on his cheeks. He wasn't expecting an apology, and especially one so soon and so heartfelt.

"Oh, yeah, that... Really it didn't have anything to do with it. I kinda just thought you were a typical concrete jungle flirt. Momma warned me about men like you." You try to hide your sheepishness by adding humor to your voice, praying he catches your sincerity under all the different layers.

He catches something, judging by the beaming smile Conner gives you.

"Really? I had hoped it wasn't, ya know, that."

"Nah, nah. It wasn't. Still, I am sorry." You assume silence is about to befall the pair of you again, but he doesn't let it happen.

"My family owns a farm out in Kansas, you know?" The cheeky grin on his face screams that he's going to be getting his revenge in the form of mild bullying.

"No!" The resounding smack of your palm hitting your forehead nearly echoes in the halls. "I feel even worse now."

"So much for being observant, little detective."

"I never claimed to be no detective. But, I might be more... oblivious then I initially implied..."

Now, it's Conner's turn to guffaw at you.

"The audacity."

"Don't you throw my words back at my. I can't handle it." You can't help by click your tongue. There's hardly any annoyance from your words. "I really misjudged you."

"It's fine! I figured you might still be adjusting to Gotham and the whole Wayne lifestyle. Tim mentioned you're from a pretty small town when I started bugging him about you." He's clearly playing up the charm, but you let it work on you.

"More like I'm still suffering from culture shock." Slowly, you can feel this conversation starting to shift to something deeper than surface level. Things that haven't been allowed into the open air start to ripple underneath.

And, he takes that chance to draw it out.

"Still?" Empathy mixing into his tone. Those icy blue eyes looking incredibly warm. You'd never really taken the time to look at him. Sure, you knew he was attractive. Hell, everyone that seemed to show up at the manor was attractive. But, now you were finally looking at him. Too focused were you in taking in his appearance for the first time, that you completely missed the way those eyes shined with opportunity and desperate want.

"Yeah, still. It's... different."

"Different as in the food's a little weird or different as in the people are a little weird?"

"It's all a little weird, and it's... kinda... lonely?" You can't help the wince. You really don't wanna trauma dump on someone who you had initially misjudged. He didn't deserve that.

But, as he moves closer you can't help it. That desolate part of you longing for comfort when you haven't had it in such a long time and the way he's giving you all this undivided attention when you can barely catch Alfred in the halls these days fills that acute craving in your gut.

"Lonely?" God, the concern in his voice doesn't make you want to cry, but it does make you want to choke

"I... I think it's not here that's different. I think it's me that's too different." The way he sucks a breath in after the words leave your mouth makes you want to backtrack immediately. "I'm so sorry. God damn, am I mess right now."

"No. No. No. You are fine." The reassuring words oddly sound more like a purr, but they capture your attention all the same. "I get it. I really really do."

Why does he have to give you such a disarming smile. He's practically beaming at you now. There's a festering tension blooming around them like spores.

"You are really not helping me fell less like a jerk to you now." The click of your tongue attempting to defuse the budding blooms.

"Hey, if you're feeling guilt... you could, maybe... let me take you out for dinner sometime? Just to make it up to me."

After a stunned moment of thought, you finally find the words to reply.

" Honestly, I'd-"

"CONNER!" Tim's sudden interruption sends the words crawling back down your throat.

"Tim." He calls back in a cool greeting, but he strangely doesn't step back from you. Which is nice. You haven't had anyone close to you other than Dick and a few of your remaining friends at Gotham Academy. And Damian, Cassandra, and Duke get a bit huffy, or in Damian's case murdery, when they are within an arms reach of you.

"Sorry, am I interrupting anything? Conner and I had plans for the day." Tim's pleasant voice sends a wave of unease over you. He's not staring at you when he speaks. Just Conner. It's annoying how he's ignoring you despite you being right. In. Front. Of. Him.

But, then he does finally look at you and his dark grey eyes soften ever so slightly. You're not too mad. Clearly he's exhausted, judging by the bruises under his eyes. There's still a slight reflection in them as he's gaze meets yours, despite how dry the appear. Probably from looking at a computer too much.

"You really shouldn't bother with this guy. He's not worth it." The words are clearly meant to be joking. Casual banter between two close friends. But, you can't help thinking they come off a bit strong.

Conner seems to bristle at them, but he does brush them off.

"That's right, we are hanging out today. Can you blame me for getting distracted, though?" That cocky smirk of his is back, and he actually touches your shoulder. It makes you feels warm, but like a prize at the same time.

All Tim seems to do in response is twitch, but giving nothing away. His grey eyes going steely as they drift to Conner's hand.

When the moment finally passes, Conner lets his hand fall. You can feel it grazing down your back as he pulls away. Slow, like he's trying to strike a match and light something inside you.

"I'll see you later, sweetheart. Just think about my offer and get back to me on it!" Conner calls out as Tim storms behind him. Both heading in the direction of the library.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

As soon as their in the Batcave, Conner can tell he probably pushed it too far. Not that he has any regrets. He finally got somewhere and confirmed all of his previous theories about Reader. They were so adorable apologizing to him, and so deliciously sweet about it too.

He should've realized Tim was watching them, though. Dude was a creep. He maybe his best friend, but he's still a damn creep.

As expected, the rest of the family is also giving him the patented Bat-glare when he sees them. But, as he stated, he has no regrets. He's not stupid enough to stick around, though. He saw Jason loading a suspicious looking green bullet into the chamber of his gun. And, while he knows Tim wouldn't kill him, he's not so sure about the rest of them.

He's confirmed what he's wanted, what he's already suspected. They're absolutely perfect for him and ripe and raw.

[headspace-hotel]

current progress in theories of ecological succession!!!!!! This paper lists 19 different ecological succession theories and their perspectives and limitations

Before I knew its name, I knew succession....I still remember the exact moment of realizing the endless flow of change moving through the ecosystem around me. Looking at weeds, shrubby woods, gardens, and fields, I was seeing this unfolding and expanding web of trajectories and possibilities, and it was like peering into the secrets of the universe.

And ever since I've paid attention to it. Constantly observing the movement in ecosystems and its patterns.

All of these theories are partially correct but incomplete. How could we ever come up with a complete theory of succession? It's like studying the convergence of order and chaos itself. Some of the important tensions of succession brought up in this paper are:

Does the environment determine which plants survive, or do the plants that survive determine the environment? (both)

Does the plant community before disturbance determine post-disturbance regeneration, or does dispersal of new plants determine it? (both)

Are communities at different successional stages formed by whatever random assemblage of plants happens to exist at that stage, or are plant communities adapted to form certain stages of succession? (both)

Is succession a process of maturity of one big thing, or cycles of death and life of a bunch of smaller things? (both)

Do plants exclude other plants from niches as succession progresses or do they open up new niches? (both)

Is succession cyclical or linear? (both)

and like ok. this topic will get me sounding like some kind of deeply unscientific weirdo because I will be like Yes, The Weeds Taught Me The Secrets of Order and Chaos. but also this is a topic in science where all the literature written for non-layperson specialist audience makes Sense.

I was really excited reading this paper because this is like, the stuff I think about randomly all the time. like the other day I just basically blacked out and wrote like 2000 words about The Nature of Disturbance and Temporal and Spatial Dimensions of Ecosystem Change not even thinking about how I was writing about succession, and almost made my brain blow up.

like each successional theory developed so far has highlighted part of the big picture but there are several pieces of the puzzle that have barely been articulated yet. my questions:

Disturbance: What Does It Mean. When talking about something alive and changing, there is no stable state of being, so what does it mean to "disturb" an ecosystem? Every ecosystem is maintained by disturbance, like in an old-growth forest animals will graze and trample and trees will occasionally die and fall and there will be storms and fires and that is part of what a forest is. So like...where is the line between a disturbance that maintains an ecosystem at "climax," and a disturbance that makes the ecosystem no longer "climax."

disturbance, even the most severe and devastating disturbance with near 100% mortality of all plants, does not fully erase the previous plant community. so like, early-successional communities aren't a blank slate, but there is a such thing as an "early-successional community" in the sense that weed species not visible in the pre-disturbance community will pop up. Now, a lot of the theories assume that long-distance seed dispersal (and the availability of seed sources and dispersers) influences the arrival of weeds, but I think the soil seed bank is just as important if not MORE important. Do all soil seed banks have plenty of weeds? Do they have different weeds or the same weeds? Do those weeds match what was there the last time there was a weed community on that site?

disturbance is usually distributed over the land SUPER unevenly except in cases of lawns, logging and industrialized farming. at what spatial scale do edge effects irretrievably muddle the concept of discrete early-successional or late-successional communities. Like if you go into the forest and bulldoze a patch of forest down to bare dirt, that patch is fundamentally different from the bare dirt in a huge housing development, just because of being directly adjacent to a forest. Even completely disregarding seed dispersal- it's shaded, it is affected by the leaf litter and fine woody debris, etc.

I would tentatively state that linear processes of change occur in most man-made environments that are disturbed cyclically, for example, lawns- intensively managed monoculture lawns seem to persist in a lush state for a short time before the grass starts to die. most tilled agricultural fields are losing topsoil and fertility in a linear fashion. so like, the land has an accumulative legacy of tens or hundreds of disturbance cycles. Isn't this likely to be true on a much larger temporal scale? Like, is a forest ecosystem now affected by the fact that it was a prairie 1,500 years ago?

likewise, might this accumulative legacy be necessary for certain ecosystems to reach a "climax" state? e.g. prairie will overgrow into woodland in a few decades absent any disturbance, but cyclic disturbance by fire allows the cumulative progression of a larger successional process

[laxxarian]

Graves Are A Gateway

After everything the Amity Park went through, they all became more used to Danny Phantom as Danny Fenton.

Now they're all just accustomed and adapted to the ghost fights and even advised Danny how to fight without destruction in the town while Danny's parents would go around building some ghost repellent in others home in case an actual evil ghost would come and also built a training room for Danny to practice his powers without destroying anything.

They discovered and enhanced Danny's powers and one of them seemed to intrigue Sam.

A power to go to a far place by using Danny's grave as his teleporter and they could build at least three graves for him at max.

And Sam suggested to build one in Gotham since Sam usually visits Gotham because of charity and all that and also in Metropolis since the hero there could help Danny if anything went wrong.

Sam doesn't know about Batman since she's more focused on the gothic themes.

The third one would be at his parents backyard so that Danny could go home quickly.

And so, it was decided.

One in Gotham.

One in Metropolis.

And one in Fenton Works.

)-(

One day, Sam went to Gotham and invited Danny and Tucker to test out the grave she built a few months back and the trio plans to meet at Wayne Enterprises. Sadly, Tucker can't go with Danny, not because he was busy, but because the grave only works for the owner which is Danny. Graves are a personal thing.

So Tucker took a plane instead and Danny went to his grave. But as he came out of his grave, he saw two men who looked like a thief, and the two were tied up by the people who were in costumes.

)-(

Robin (Damien) was right behind Danny's grave and saw the whole thing.

A ghost coming out of his half-dugged grave.

)-(

Before Danny came, Batman, Nightwing and Robin were on patrol. Nightwing is there to catch up.

And the three just saw a grave digger so they went and easily apprehended the criminals.

Nightwing read the tombstone for whose grave that they were to dig up, it was Danny Fenton's and he died quite young. Close to Damien's age.

Nightwing was mad and questioned the criminals while Batman called for the police and stuff while Robin was just right behind the grave when he saw the ghost boy coming out.

[radiance1]

DnD au where either the batfam or some mebers of the Justice League get taken into a game.

Who's the game master? Both Vlad and Ghost Writer. Ghost Writer makes the overall world while Vlad voices everything and adapts on the fly when the 'players' do things they didn't expect.

The thing that I'm thinking about here is that Danny is a Naga, and in his lore he's actually a very important and powerful person, either politically or physically. Probably physically, but he constantly plays the damsel in distress for like, no reason.

The boy just genuinely likes to play the damsel in distress even through he's actually quite powerful in the grand scheme of things.

But here's the thing.

The batfam/Justice League don't know that.

They just think he's a very unlucky monster guy who keeps landing himself into dangerous situations and calls for them to save him when he's in trouble and, them being heroes, they save him every time.

The opposite of Jazz, really.

Who is a badass character that, at the start of the entire thing, saved the players from one thing or another at times and then helped them in battle in the later game while also secretly being a very important character in the lore just like Danny.

Is Jazz also a Naga? I don't know, had me thinking that she was more of an Amazon or something like that. But she could be a Naga not gonna lie.

AnYWYAS.

How are Danny and Jazz important? Well, I would like to think that they are actually royalty. Like, full blown very important royals from a very big and powerful kingdom or empire.

Danny would be a Naga prince, and depending on if Jazz is a Naga or Amazon she could be either a queen or princess.

Whatever the case, the two of them would make comments about each other. Danny's comments being about how, maybe when starting out, the players aren't his usual savior and stuff like that, with Jazz's comments being that saving the players quite reminds her of a specific little Naga she constantly has to save.

Maybe Vlad sees this and decides that Danny and Jazz become a link to give the players something that they, well, missed (Low chance if Batman is there, but then again that's gonna depend on if the Batfam are in their hero or civilian personas). Like maybe a comment here, a clue there, an item given.

Stuff like that.

I feel like Danny curls his tail around whoever saves him and leans heavily into the damsel in distress act, going on and on about "Oh my hero!" and all that. Some might think there would be a problem with that, but Danny weighs absolutely nothing, carrying him is literally like holding a feather.

Which is concerning because he has both a long and beefy tail that should make him weigh waaaaay more than he actually does.

Jazz definitely carries everyone in a princess carry, regardless of gender and regardless of who it is. Has a modified carry for Danny in regards to his tail but that's really it.

Maybe the players get sneak peaks that there's something more in regard to their constant damsel and randomly spawning ally. Maybe knowing them gives them access to stuff they, reasonably, shouldn't and when they're present with the group, their presence changes some things.

This was honestly just an excuse for Danny to be a damsel in distress, not gonna lie.

[lu-is-not-ok]

How it feels to be T minus six months away from being thrown into The Chamber which is awfully Red.

Anyway, I'm going to take this opportunity to make some Canto 8 predictions before the Roadmap drops for fun.

Now, these are a mix of theories that have been brewing within me since the game's launch and some stuff that hit me extremely recently. I'm going to try to keep the most general/sane predictions at the front while the more specific/deranged takes are gonna stay at the bottom.

Enjoy.

(And just in case anyone is curious, yes, I will be making a Canto 8 bingo board after we're done with this Season's Intervallos.)

Canto 8 Name Predictions:

The Disillusioned / The Disenchanted (Reference to either Land of Illusion or the fairy Disenchantment from DOTRC)

The Indebted (Reference to the Debt of Tears from DOTRC)

The Cycle Continuing (Matching the Canto 7 format of misleading you into thinking it's a description of the plot when it's actually describing the Sinner as well - Sancho is trying to end the dream, she's the Dream Ending Sinner)

All The Other Predictions:

The lesson Hong Lu will have to learn is to stand up for himself against his Family.

As the Saplings of Light seem to be happening in reverse Ruina order, Hong Lu would end up being assigned Chesed. Thus far, every Sinner tied to a Sapling of Light had to learn the same lesson as the counterpart Sephirah - Heathcliff had to learn to move on from his past like Hokma, while Donqui had to learn to have hope in the future like Binah.

Chesed's arc revolved around him learning that he needs to stop lying to himself and others, and that simply following authority only contributes to perpetuating the harm they cause, so his resolution has him stand up to that authority and try to rebel. I expect Hong Lu to have to go through something similar in his Canto.

Hong Lu will Distort.

Did you really think I would forget that foreshadowing from all the way back in Hell's Chicken?

Hong Lu will be the key to the Immortality of the Mind his elders are seeking.

This would tie him directly to the theme of resurrection that him being the Jade implies, plus it would be a direct reason as to why his Family is actively looking for him - they need him for their own goals.

There will be at least One cannibal in the Jia Family.

No I am not letting go of that Canto 2 line about bitten off fingers.

The Land of Illusion will be revealed to be where one of (if not more) of the Rivers is.

DOTRC potrays the Land of Illusion as a place with notable supernatural Rivers + thematic cohesion between Land of Illusion and Hades as forms of "afterlife" (we already know one of the Rivers is named after a River of Hades).

Hong Lu will be revealed to be both Jia Baoyu and Lin Daiyu, not in a "they merged the two characters into one for the sake of adaptation" way, but in a "this character is composed of two characters in-universe" way.

The framing and timing of the reveal of Hong Lu's name being Baoyu feels incredibly suspicious to me, to the point it actively makes me doubt that's all there is to his true identity. Plus there are multiple things about his E.G.O.s and certain writing choices that can't be explained with him Just being Baoyu.

[solxamber]

do you do skully graves and reader (platonic)? If u do can like a qiqi!reader or huohuo!reader who helps him with stuff whilst either talking to ghosts are just being a forgetful zombie , thanks

Skully J. Graves x Huohuo! Reader

hi! I tried my best to adapt his personality to the new parts of event story, you can let me know if you wanted something different!

The fog clung to the streets, curling like ghostly fingers around every corner of the village. The eerie ambiance would have sent shivers down most people’s spines, but not Skully J. Graves. No, he basked in it, breathing in the cold, misty air with a grin so wide it would have made Jack Skellington proud. He adjusted his coat, looking proudly over the plans for his ideal Halloween.

“No lights,” he muttered, scribbling frantically on a scrap of parchment. “No candy. And absolute, complete darkness.” His grin widened, almost maniacal. “Perfect.”

“Skully, uh… why would anyone want a Halloween with no candy?” A soft voice broke his concentration, and he glanced up to see you, the strange friend who always seemed to be muttering to thin air. Except, in your case, it wasn’t thin air.

Around you, unseen to everyone else, lingered several translucent spirits, floating lazily like they didn’t have a care in the world. One of them—a particularly cheeky ghost with a mischievous smirk—whispered in your ear.

“No candy, no fun,” you echoed what the ghost said, looking between Skully and the air with slight anxiety. “I think he might be right, Skully… What if people just want to, you know, enjoy themselves?”

Skully rolled his eyes, barely hiding a grin. “Candy is for the weak. Jack Skellington never handed out candy. He—wait, what do you mean he might be right?” His eyes narrowed, staring directly where one of the ghosts hovered. “You talking to them again?”

You shrugged, giving a sheepish smile. “They’ve got opinions too, you know.”

Before Skully could respond, you were back to murmuring to another ghost. “No, no, no, I’m not ignoring you… Okay, okay, I’ll tell him.” You turned back to Skully. “Uh… the ghost by the market says you should maybe reconsider the ‘no lights’ thing. Might freak out the little ones.”

Skully crossed his arms, huffing. “Freaking out is the point, my dear! A true Halloween isn’t about fun and games. It’s about terror, darkness, and—beating up ghosts, obviously.”

One of the spirits around you let out a melodramatic wail, clearly offended. You winced, giving Skully a helpless look. “You really hurt their feelings…”

Skully sighed dramatically, waving his hand dismissively. “They’ll get over it. I’m just saying—Jack would agree with me.”

“He’s still mad you didn’t give him that apple the other day,” you added as if that were part of the conversation.

Skully paused, blinking at you. “Wait… what?”

“Not important!” you quickly blurted, pushing past the topic, eyes darting to the spirits floating around you. “But, hey, how about we add a few spooky lights, you know? Like those lanterns with creepy faces carved into them? It’d keep the kids from getting totally lost and still fit your dark aesthetic.”

Skully stared at you for a long moment, his intense eyes seeming to bore into your soul—or maybe into the spirits’ souls. You couldn’t really tell. Finally, he sighed, rubbing his temple. “Fine. Some lights. But only the spookiest kind.”

One of the spirits around you cheered silently, and you grinned. “See, compromise works!”

As you helped Skully finalize his Halloween of nightmares, you couldn’t help but think about how strange this dynamic was. You, a soft-hearted (if slightly anxious) spirit-communicator, and Skully, a Halloween-obsessed enigma who idolized Jack Skellington. And yet, somehow, you made the perfect team.

Then came the moment where you had to address the elephant in the room—or rather, the ghosts in the air. As you adjusted some spooky decorations, one of the ghosts began wailing about something from the past. You sighed, turning to Skully with a rare moment of seriousness.

“Skully, can we pause for a second?”

He glanced up from his pile of cobwebs and fake skeletons, raising an eyebrow. “What now? Another ghost’s feelings hurt?”

“No… it’s just…” You bit your lip. “I know I act a little… goofy sometimes. But I do take what I do seriously, you know? Helping these ghosts—it’s important to me.”

For the first time, Skully looked a little taken aback. He slowly straightened up, gazing at you with something close to admiration. “I know. You’re weird, but you’re good at what you do.” He hesitated before giving you a rare, almost tender smile. “Thanks for… you know… always being here.”

You grinned, a warmth spreading in your chest at the compliment. “Hey, someone’s gotta make sure your Halloween doesn’t turn into complete chaos.”

“Chaos is the goal!” Skully insisted, but there was a softness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.

And as you two continued working on what was sure to be the weirdest, most ghost-infested Halloween in history, you couldn’t help but feel like—just maybe—this peculiar friendship (and the random ghosts) were exactly where you were meant to be.

Masterlist

[jackdaw-kraai]

Comprehensive Anti-Body Odor Guide

Do you stink? Do you not wish to? Do you feel like you've tried everything and are at your wit's end? Never fear, I'm going to take you through every single thing I know about reducing and managing offensive body odor and feeling better about it, because point number one:

It's Not Your Fault:

Regardless of what advertising, social media, your peers, your family, intimate partners, or anyone else has told you, you're not morally inferior for struggling with your body odor, and it's not a sin on your part. You are a human being, and therefore, an animal. A mammal specifically. Your body naturally produces scents and odors for all kinds of reasons, including to signal something socially (yes, really) or as a symptom of something being wrong in your environment or body.

You are going to smell.

The thing I'm going to help you control is whether or not, to your own nose or that of others, you smell bad.

But know that even if you follow every step and tip and trick I give you, you are never going to be scentless or naturally smell like something other than a human being. Your body, naturally, will never produce scents like those of perfumes, soaps, or other things you and others consider pleasant.

This is okay.

You are not a flower, a fresh-baked pastry, a musk gland, or anything else. You are a human. You're going to smell like a human. I know this can be difficult to deal with, but that's a fundamental thing I need you to accept and be okay with before we proceed, okay?

It's fine and morally neutral to produce the natural scents a human body does, and fundamentally, you cannot change that.

All that being said, scent is an important sense to the human experience, and plays a much bigger role in our lives than we're popularly led to believe. You may have heard of the fact that taste is mostly smell, or that smell is the sense most strongly connected to our deep memory. This is all true, but smell is also an important way to gauge health and social well-being, which is why smelling in a way we consider bad can be such a struggle. Therefore...

Accounting For External Factors:

There are many reasons other than the topics that we're going to touch on that can contribute to offensive scents. Your cleaning habits, being sick, your general environment, it can all contribute to smelling bad.

First to address the heavy and serious stuff, because unfortunately, if this guide is to be as comprehensive as can be, it needs to be addressed. Head's up for discussions of addiction, mental health, abuse, and poverty, and how it can affect a life. If you're not up for it, but still want the tips, skip to the next enlarged, bolded heading where I'll continue to address more common, less heavy causes of BO.

Without further ado.

Sickness, especially addiction, can heavily contribute to body odor, and may not always be easy or even pleasant to deal with. Infections can smell bad. Smoking can cause some serious Bad Odor in your mouth, clothes, house, ect. Depression can contribute to being unable to care for basic hygiene, which, of course, can smell bad.

I need to reiterate: this is not a moral failing.

This is your scent functioning as intended.

Bad smells can often signal that something is Wrong with the person carrying it, in this case you. It allows you and others around you to know that there may be something going on in your life which either prevents you from grooming yourself properly, or cannot be groomed away at all. This is normal. We are a social species with social adaptations. Being able to know that something might be wrong with our troop, even if no one knows how to put words to it, is a vital survival skill, even in the modern day.

If your ear, privates, or other part known for being "dirty" itches, burns, otherwise hurts or irritates, and stinks, go to a doctor, you likely have some sort of infection or other minor injury that makes you more vulnerable to infection. Fungal, bacterial, and even viral illnesses and infections can produce some of the foulest scents you've ever smelled, and often throughout history this was one of our main diagnostic tools. Even today we still use it to note that something's wrong, with me telling you this in this post as a prime example.

Again, this is not you being filthy, or morally depraved, this is you being sick. However embarrassing it is, it's part of being human, completely normal, and treatments are often readily available. These kinds of issues can arise from all sorts of normal, every day activities, even issues related to your private areas. While certain activities I won't name at a risk of being censored can and do lead to these issues, other sources can be: sweating in tight or poorly breathing clothing, walking through nature, sitting on a surface that happens to have bacteria or spores, wiping after going to the toilet, using any kind of public bathroom even if it's cleaned regularly, and many other such riveting and scandalous activities. All this can happen even when fully clothed and if you wash regularly. It's normal, and a part of being human, I promise you.

Go to a doctor and get a diagnosis if possible, even if treatments are over-the-counter. Bacterial and fungal infections often have extremely similar symptoms, to the point even professional misdiagnosis is not uncommon if the professional isn't paying attention.

Common "alternative" treatments made from household ingredients and especially essential oils can exacerbate any symptoms severely due to being in large part comprised of nutrients that feed the infection (in case of things like herbs, garlic, sugar, and honey), insufficient disinfectant (hand sanitizer, drinking alcohol, mouthwash), or outright harmful chemicals (common cleaning products, essential oils, mouthwash). Please only use certified, and well-known medical treatments when handling these issues.

Incorrect treatment can worsen the condition and sometimes hurt like hell.

However embarrassed you are, please, please seek professional experience rather than trying to go it alone if at all possible. A misdiagnosis is unlikely to kill you, but can be extremely uncomfortable and prolong the issue. Resort to self-diagnosis only as an absolute last option if you cannot get a professional opinion anywhere else. If you're unable to afford or access healthcare, you might have to risk it, but try and search for possible accredited social programs and charities first.

If you are a minor and cannot trust your current guardians to help you, try and see if you can't confide in a possible school or extracurricular employee like a certified nurse or medic, and an other trusted adult failing that.

Only self-diagnose a possible infection as a last resort, I cannot stress this enough.

And always, always alert emergency responders if symptoms seem to worsen, as any infection you might have could turn septic if left untreated.

This can kill you.

I cannot overstate this enough, an untreated infection left to go septic can and will kill you. If you suspect you have an infection and symptoms aren't alleviating after a few days, if any discomfort you experience is bad enough to even partially incapacitate you, and especially if symptoms seem to worsen or spread, ignore all other instructions and immediately visit a doctor or call your local emergency services to notify them of your status. Even if you don't have an infection, none of these symptoms are normal, and you need prompt professional, medical assistance.

Mental illnesses and addiction are other illnesses which are often ignored or forgotten about when considering why you might smell bad. Even putting aside how these afflictions can make you more susceptible to more conventional illnesses, being unable to take care of your own hygiene is another signal that something is wrong, as grooming is another way to show health. If someone is in a poor state of grooming and doesn't seem to care, check in on them, they might need help for some other issue not immediately visible.

If you are the person suffering from these issues and any instructions further down the list are infeasible, ineffective, or unsustainable for whatever reason because of your situation, it's not your fault.

You are ill and need treatment before you can tackle other issues.

Being depressed to the point of being unable to shower or do laundry is not a moral or personal failing, it's an illness and these are the symptoms.

Being a smoker and having chronic bad breath and nicotine scent stick to your clothes isn't a moral or personal failing, it's an addiction, an illness, and these are the symptoms.

Being a drug user and having physical signs of your use or regularly being in a mental state where hygiene is impossible to maintain isn't a moral or personal failing, they are symptoms.

You are a person suffering from a severe illness, and your struggles with hygiene aren't a consequence, they're a symptom. Either the root issue needs to be treated for these symptoms to alleviate, or you need help in symptom management until such a thing can be achieved, if it can be achieved at all. There are many resources out there specifically for issues like these, and if you're one of the lucky ones, your social safety net is exactly what you are supposed to rely on in times of these. Even if you feel ashamed for needing these services, or are estranged from possible loved ones who might be able to help you due to your issues, please, reach out, and ask for help if you can.

It's a part of being human.

Anyway, all of this was already heavy, but there's still two main elephants in the room waiting to be addressed, so if you're still here, good job. I'm genuinely proud of you. This isn't easy to read, and if it's immediately relevant to you, even harder to confront. So. Take a deep breath. Possibly get up to walk a bit, get a drink, snack, whatever, and let's get back to it.

It can't be avoided when talking about hygiene. Poverty is a major factor in being unable to care for oneself in too many ways to count, and I will be upfront and say I have no personal experience with it, knock on wood. Therefore, while I'll try to be sensitive to the fact that hygiene, like so many other things, is a matter of resources and time, it has to be acknowledged that some of the tips, tricks, and advice I will give can be straight-up impossible for anyone living in poverty, working multiple jobs, caring for dependents, and any other kind of issue that means there can be a strain upon both the budget and time available to tend to one's body odor.

This is not a moral or personal failure, it's a consequence of the inadequacies of our modern society requiring people to sacrifice such vital things as time and resources to devote to personal grooming and maintaining a home. Therefore, while I will try to give alternatives to anything that might be extremely time consuming or expensive, some things just have to be acknowledged as infeasible on certain budgets for either money or time.

If that's you, you are not helpless or lesser, you're just dealing with more obstacles. Pick and choose whatever seems useful or possible from this guide, and I will try and give as much foundational knowledge as I can so you can devise alternative options where possible. This issue might be harder to deal with when impoverished, but with a bit of luck, hopefully you and I can still make progress wherever possible.

And lastly, we have to talk about abuse.

People in abusive environments or relationships often don't have full or sometimes any control over their time or resources. Trying to maintain personal hygiene in these kinds of situations can be next to impossible while also trying to remain relatively safe from the wrath of an abuser. All of the advice I will give in the upcoming sections assume at least a minimal allocation of purchasing power and control over one's schedule and actions. Some people in abusive relationships may be able to make use of them, some may not.

If this is you, I'm so sorry, and I promise you, it's not your fault if you're struggling. Even if your abuser insists otherwise, I need you to hear and trust this: it's not you, it's them. You're not crazy, unreasonable, slovenly, dirty, irredeemable, sinful, damned, disobedient, or anything else they say you are, you are in pain. You're in an impossible predicament, and anyone expecting you to be able to maintain personal hygiene with this kind of pressure is out of their minds.

Find whatever allies you can, severe contact with the person hurting you if possible, and take whatever you can use from this guide that you can. Anything else that seems infeasible or impossible without invoking the wrath of your abuser is immaterial and not your fault. It's their fault, in all honesty. All strength in your struggles, and don't worry about smelling like your fought a war when you're actively in the trenches. Clean up can come after you are safe.

Now, with all the heavy, hard stuff out of the way, and to everyone rejoining us here...

Comprehending Body Odor, The Basics:

Let's start there. What is body odor, and why can it seem so impossible to get rid of sometimes?

Well, unfortunately for you, there's no one easy trick that can rid you of bad smells forever, but rather a myriad of complicated factors that range from basic biology to modern social trends all contributing to why you can gag yourself with the scent of your socks sometimes.

Humans are animals, and the trouble starts here. Animals produce scents, and anyone who's ever been near one or owned one can attest to this cosmic truth. From our poop to our breath, bad smells can come from everywhere, but some sources are more obvious than others. Not pooping or peeing our pants is generally something we learn as a toddler and get better at as we age, so that handily eliminates one of the most common sources of foul smells.

Similarly, dealing with other odors is a learned skill, and one that changes as you get older. Everyone knows the stereotype of teens that smell like gym socks, but rarely do we discuss why this is the case. So, like so many things in the human body, it all comes down to biology and chemistry.

When we enter puberty, we start producing an absolute ton of hormones, and if that's you right now, I'm so sorry, I know it sucks, and all the annoying adults telling you it will get better do so because it's irritatingly true. Just try to survive and you'll get there. As for coping with the sudden influx of unpleasant smelliness, here's the deal. Your body is currently going through a lot of growth, some of it visible, and a lot of it very much not. One of the things currently kicking into overdrive is the production of your apocrine sweat glands, not to be confused with your eccrine sweat glands.

"What the hell are those??"

A thing that will plague you for a long time to come, but, not something that's unmanageable. Let me explain.

The human body is absolutely covered in sweat glands. Just completely covered in it. It's one of the things that makes us special in the animal kingdom, as sweating to this extent is something that's actually pretty rare. Only a few other species have the kind of sweat gland real estate we have, and of them, we definitely make the best use of it. See, part of our evolutionary success comes from being pursuit predators when we're not being grumpy omnivores. It means that instead of ambushing our prey or running it down, we just follow it. For hours. Until the prey is so exhausted it just can't run anymore and, hey! Dinner! Go team, good job, time to hit the showers.

Which we'll need, because part of this strategy, mechanically speaking, is getting rid of the heat our muscles produce as fast as possible so we don't collapse before that poor deer does. Other animals do this through panting, wallowing, sitting in the shade, whatever, but our ancestors didn't have time for that. All of that is either impossible or terribly inefficient while running, so instead what we did is reduce our hair coverage so the sun can more easily reach our skin, increase sweat production to levels almost unheard of, and allow these combined factors to ensure we're basically always walking around in a microscopic cloud of water vapor that acts as our personal heat sink.

It's extremely cool, extremely efficient, and unfortunately part of why you have to deal with smelling awful after you've hit the gym. You see, most of our sweat glands are eccrine sweat glands, which is cool, because these are the ones that mostly produce sweat that consists of water, salt, and a tiny bit of proteins. No big deal, you might feel gross once it dries on your skin, but it's basically odorless, and a quick shower and change of clothes is all you need to deal with that mess, easy peasy.

Unfortunately, this also kicks in your apocrine sweat glands, which also start to produce a lot more sweat, and here's where our problems start. You see, while this kind of sweat is the cause of your problems, it isn't actually the sweat itself that stinks. Sure, it's oily, and opaque, and feels gross, but it's actually as odorless as your eccrine sweat. Modified apocrine glands are actually what produce your tears, ear wax, and even breast milk in those of you capable of it, it's all so cool! Unfortunately, this sentiment is also shared by some of our microscopic fellow earthlings, and that's where we find the culprit of our stink.

You see, while apocrine sweat doesn't smell initially, it actually is designed so symbiotic bacteria living on our skin find it irresistible and start consuming it. Gross! But the worst part isn't that they're your dinner guests in the weirdest of ways, that's actually completely normal. It's that they're rude dinner guests and the sources of the smell that terrorizes gym locker rooms the world over! Their digestion of your apocrine sweat is what causes that stink, and unfortunately, there's nothing you can do to stop it.

Well...

Nothing you can do to stop it permanently.

But you sure as hell can make your displeasure known in the mother of all neighborly disputes.

First of all, let's tackle the source. Now that we know that it's not our sweat itself, but the bacteria that are raining on our parade, the solution is actually pretty obvious: anti-bacterial soap. If you're one of the unfortunate people struggling with reducing your BO, switching over to anti-bacterial soap and shampoo can really help kill the problem at the source, reducing the number of bacteria causing your issues, and allowing for it to take longer for the issue to come back. You will never kill off your bacteria population entirely, and frankly, you shouldn't, they're doing a lot of good too, despite being such rude dinner guests. But culling the population is a great first step in dealing with the problem, and paves the way for the rest of our steps.

And if you're sitting there like "well, that's fine and dandy, but sometimes I just can't shower, you ever think of that?" and first of all, patience, young grasshopper, I'm getting to it, and second of all, yes, I have! If you're one of these people who either can't shower or would need to shower more than you can be bothered to, try using either anti-bacterial wipes or, funnily enough, hand sanitizer with a high alcohol content. Wipes or pads used for cleaning cuts or scrapes and hand sanitizer make for easy portable solutions to a lack of access to a shower or the fucks to use one.

The locations of your apocrine glands that you can safely clean this way are your armpits, the sides of your nostrils, your perineal area, and some parts of external genitalia. We'll talk about that "some" later, but for now, those are the areas safe to wipe down with either a wipe or some hand sanitizer if you can't clean yourself otherwise. Dry shampoo will take care of the glands on your scalp, and baby wipes can take care of the eccrine sweat on the rest of your body if you feel extremely grody. If any other part of your body stinks especially bad and it's not on that short list, you can wipe that down too as long as it's not near any kind of orifice or mucosal membrane (the parts of your body you can touch that feel slimy, like the inside of your nose or mouth).

Now speaking of mucus, it’s time to get back to the genitalia part. Everyone try to stay mature for this, it’s important.

Let’s come out and say it: genitals can stink. They’re actually meant to, it’s part of the whole “social scent” thing, but too much is just too much, y’know? So needless to say, you gotta clean ‘em, but for everyone out there with the whole or partial set that’s more inside than outside there’s an important message: don’t smear fucking soap in there.

“But it stinks!”

It smells. It’s genitalia, it’s what it does, it’s fine.

“But I don’t want it to smell!”

Tough titties, you still need to stop smearing soap on it.

“It stains my underwear!”

I promise you, it doesn’t. Now, everyone who doesn’t have genitalia set that’s more internal than external might be wondering what I’m talking about, and to that I say, shush, this ain’t about you, just listen up.

I’m going to call it a… let’s call it a wallet, to make sure tumblr doesn’t twig and mark this as something it’s not. Your wallet has multiple folds, and a lot of cool properties, but one that’s immediately relevant is that the secretions you always have to deal with aren’t actually ph neutral, they’re slightly acidic. What this means is that those stains aren’t stains, they’re actually places your natural wallet secretions have bleached your undies a bit.

This ph also means you can fuck it up royally if you smear soap in there, so quit it. Rinsing with water will do just fine for the inner folds, and if you really must, you can lightly soap up the outer folds. Soaping it up will do more damage than good, and make you more susceptible to infections and the like. Similarly don’t do anything like douches, or other nonsense that shoves things up in there or smears it on it in the name of “cleaning” it. It’s right next to your waste disposals, and absolutely loaded with mucosal membranes, weird smells are to be expected and are fine. Just keep it clean with water and I promise you it’ll smell less bad than if you use soap.

Cool? Cool. Moving on.

But say it's not your body that's stinky. Say it's your mouth. Well, that too is something you can thank bacteria for, but thankfully is a lot easier to fix. Just do what your dentist recommends you to do, and brush twice daily or whenever your mouth feels gross. If you've got persistent problems, ask them about it. It might be something like a tonsil stone or other foreign object stinking up the place, and they can help you get rid of it easily. Again: doctors are your friends, and dentists are doctors of a very specialized profession.

So, now you're fresh as a daisy! You've either showered or wiped yourself down, you've brushed your teeth, and everything is puppies and rainbows! But we all know that doesn't last long if you've been reading this post up to this point, so how do we keep it this way?

Well.

Deodorant, Clothing, Cleaning, And You:

So we've tackled the skin layer of the issue, and if everything has gone to plan, you're smelling a lot better now! Congrats! But, of course, the real struggle is keeping it that way, so let's get into the weeds, because this is probably going to be a lot of things that you might have never considered before. So, to ease you in, let's start with something you definitely have: deodorant.

You're gonna need it.

I'm sorry, but you do. There's ways to go deodorant-free through life, but let's be honest, if you're reading this post, you probably aren't looking for that kind of lifestyle, so let's get into the thick of it. There's a lot of deodorants out there, but how do you know which one is for you? To put it bluntly, it's gonna take some trial and error, but here's a few guidelines to get you started.

One, you're gonna want something in stick form, preferably a solid stick of deodorant rather than a roller ball like you'd probably envisioned when I said "deodorant stick." Sprays and the like are easy, but if you're struggling with odor, you're gonna want a deodorant that will stick instead of rubbing off throughout the day like most do due to friction from either skin or clothing.

Two, go for something light on the scent. Scentless, if necessary. I know a heavy scent might seem more secure in masking any potential smells, but one, it doesn't, it just blends with the scent and creates a truly nauseating aroma. If you've been in a locker room and smelled a dozen dozen different deodorants and gym sweat mixed together, you'll know the truth of this. Aside from that, perfumes often irritate the skin, and we don't want to make it easier for the bacteria to propagate like they'd do on skin that's more vulnerable to infection due to being inflamed. Go for something lighter, it'll not only be kinder on your skin, but also allow you to actually smell when it's time to clean yourself again and reapply.

Three, look for a deodorant that moisturizes as well as blocking perspiration. It's great that you're reducing sweating, but your skin still kind of needs that moisture, so if you're damming up one source, you need to provide another to make sure nothing funky starts happening. Keeping your skin healthy helps prevent curing one problem by causing another, and irritated skin really isn't any better than smelly skin.

So now you have a deodorant. Keep it with you, along with some wipes, and you'll be set! But that's only half the battle, because all that sweat still needs to go somewhere, so here's the part where you might need to take some notes.

Here's the thing: we're gonna have to talk about fabric. Specifically the fabric you wear and sleep in.

The majority of our bodily filth actually gets absorbed by our clothes and bedding, including our sweat, so if you wanna stay clean, you're gonna need some clean clothes. This is easier said than done, though, as what your clothes are made of matters too, but let's start with some basics.

Here's a rule of thumb if you have no idea where to start: any fabric that touches your skin should be washed after a single day of wear. Everything that touches that layer should be washed after about three times wearing it. Everything that touches that layer should be washed every week.

Mind you, this is a rule of thumb for things you can wash. Suit jackets, genuine silk, leather, ect. obviously goes by its own rules, but if you're struggling to know how often to wash something, don't know how to sort which fabric can tolerate being worn more often than others, or just don't have the time to sort things, this will do in a pinch. Mind you, this is will also wear out your clothes faster if you don't know which garment can tolerate what, but we'll get to that.

Starting from the skin, let's talk about each layer as we go. If you struggle with BO, I recommend switching out your underwear every single day, minimum. Twice a day if you think you can handle it in terms of laundry and the like, once after waking up, once before going to bed. Socks follow the same rules. Wash these garments at 60 degrees celsius, or 140 degrees fahrenheit to prevent any build-up of smells.

After that, we're on to shirts. Tight-fitting tshirts, button ups, blouses, and the like should be washed after every wear. Most people will say you can wear them twice or thrice before you need to wash them, but we're not most people here. We're dealing with stink, and we want to get rid of it, so swap that shirt after every time wearing it. Wash at 40*C, or 100*F for best results if the fabric can handle it.

Pants are tricky, and we'll get more into them later, but if you air them out after each time wearing them and haven't sweated profusely in them, you can wear them three or four times before needing to wash them. Skirts are similar, and if they aren't of a tighter design like a pencil skirt of similar, you can add a wear or two to that number. Wash at the same temperature as your shirts if you can.

Dresses are similarly tricky, but if you're wearing them directly on the skin and have a fitted bodice (the torso section), you need to treat it the same as a shirt, and wash it after every wear. Same washing instructions as pants or shirts.

Pajamas should be washed every two times wearing it, as you sweat in your sleep as well, and sleeping in your bed doesn't help the matter. Wash at 60*C or 140*F with your underwear and socks if possible.

Your bedding should be washed every four to seven days, depending on how much you sweat in your sleep. Yes, really. Yes, I know that's a chore. You're gonna need to do it, sorry. It's a lot of fabric you wallow in, sweat in, and sleep in for eight hours per day, and that's gonna contribute to smells if you don't clean it regularly. Invest in a mattress protector as well, so sweat doesn't seep into it and start to fester there. You'd be surprised how rank a mattress can smell if you sweat on it for eight hours a night, every night, and how that can contribute to you smelling rank after said sleep. It's the reason why you should also put said mattress on an actual bed frame instead of the floor, so air can circulate underneath it and keep it from looking like the bottom of that rock you turn over in the park after a rainy night.

And with all that said and noted...

None of this matters if you don't take note of what your clothes and bedding are actually made of. Because there are fibers that will help you and fibers that will stab you in the back by smelling awful no matter how often you wash it, and I'm gonna tell you which are which.

First of, linen. If you struggle with smells, linen is better than wool, cotton, silk, and anything else when it comes to smells. There's a reason it was the primary fabric of indo-european world since the stone age, and there's a reason I'm recommending it now, and that reason is this: it's the best when it comes to staying clean.

It wicks away sweat, making sure you don't feel icky as well as minimizing smells. It breathes, allowing sweat to actually evaporate rather than remaining trapped against your skin. It helps regulate temperature, feeling cool in the summer and warm in the winter. It lasts for actual, genuine centuries if treated right and can be boiled and beaten to clean it without suffering negative effects. And as a cherry on top, it's mildly exfoliating as well due to the structure of the fibers, absorbing even more filth that would otherwise contribute to feeding the stank bacteria and your BO.

If you learn anything at all from this post, learn that linen is the best fabric bar none to wear against your skin.

Wool is the next best, absorbing moisture like nothing else while remaining dry to the touch, breathing better than most cottons, a lightweight wool will actually keep you cooler in summer than cotton will, and you rarely need to wash it at all as allowing it to air out will take care of most scents and sweat from daily wear. Love wool, adore wool, she's giving us e v e r y t h i n g.

Cotton is third best. This is essentially your economy option if you can't afford, thrift, or otherwise get a hold of the first two. It's decent at absorbing moisture and breathability. It'll handle both heat and cold in a pinch. It won't hold on to most scents if given a thorough wash, and most relevant of all, it's the easiest to find and afford in our modern world.

Silk is kind of the odd one out here, as it's merits aren't in being a skin layer, but an outer layer. In aesthetics it's unmatched, and it's lighter weight than wool while being surprisingly warm. The downsides to it are that it doesn't breathe easily or absorb moisture, meaning it's a very poor choice to wear directly on the skin unless you're fond of swamp ass.

And last and definitely least.

Synthetic. Fabrics.

Look, I'm going to level with you. My hate for synthetic fabrics didn't start as an altruistic "it dumps microplastics in the water with every wash, is literally just plastic, and awful for the environment." It started as it just being the worst at being a fabric. It doesn't breathe at all. It cannot absorb as it is plastic. It won't keep you warm for shit, and the worst, the absolute worst.

It absorbs and holds on to smells. No matter how often you wash it.

If you sweat enough in a synthetic garment, it'll start hanging on to that scent at some point and good luck getting out at that point.

Genuinely, if you struggle with body odor, check the labels on your clothing and bedding, and see how much of it is synthetic and to what percent and then consider how easily you start to stink in them. I'm genuinely not crunchy or hippie or anything like that to most degrees, it's just not my lifestyle, but I'll die on the hill of natural fibers as being infinitely superior in everything except price, and frankly, that's because in clothing if you buy cheap, you get cheap.

If there's one thing I recommend, it's buying or thrifting clothes that are as close to 100% natural fiber as is possible, and researching what types of fabric are best for your needs. Denim, for instance, is often 90% or more made of cotton, but due to the way it's woven and constructed it's awful for wicking away sweat and breathes like shit. If you struggle with BO, consider getting pants that aren't jeans. It'll really help with odor in your more private regions, as well as swamp ass and similar. Heck, consider skirts or kilts, nothing will breathe like that, and you'll have more legroom than you know what to do with!

All this goes for socks as well. If you struggle with stinky feet, get some genuine woolen socks, lightweight ones for warmer weather too. They'll keep your feet dry and minimize the development of smells. Airing out your shoes also can help, same as your jacket.

And lastly.

The Niche Points:

If you're still struggling, and let's be honest, every single body is different, so you still might, there are some remaining things to consider.

Nutrition is one of them, as a diet heavy on meat will cause worse smells on either end of your digestive tract than one heavier on veggier. Now, I want to be clear: this is not a call to go become vegetarian or vegan or any other kind of diet. If that's your calling, that's your business, but it's important to consider that meat and fish and even mushrooms all have very important nutrients in them that contribute to your health and keeping your body healthy. And as we've discussed earlier, an unhealthy body smells worse than anything that eating meat could cause.

What I'm saying instead is that if you know you've eaten a meal heavy on meat, fish, or similar, you can opt to brush your teeth more thoroughly than you normally would, as well as perhaps using something like a mouthwash your dentist recommends (never use mouthwashes without recommendation, guys. Dental hygiene is not a joke, and just because it's sold in a supermarket doesn't mean it's automatically good for you. Bread is sold there too, and I think celiacs would have some opinions about assuming it's healthy for everyone to eat).

If you think nutrition might be a cause for either your digestive processes smelling worse than usual or you being more susceptible to things like yeast infections, talk to a nutritionist or your doctor. What you eat is more important than you think for your daily hygiene, and a change of diet can help more than you think.

On a similar point, if you've tried all of this and you still find yourself surrounded by smells that make you gag, consider giving your place of residence a deep cleaning or hiring a professional to do so. Cleaning too is a learned skill, and some people are better at it naturally than others. This doesn't mean you can't learn, but it also means there is no shame in paying or asking for assistance if you find you need it.

The Conclusion:

Body odor isn't something we often talk about as a serious factor that can affect someone's self-confidence and general happiness, nor what it actually means when someone struggles to manage it. It's often the butt of the joke, but rarely do we consider the underlying issues that we're making fun of.

Teenagers, adult slobs, college students, sufferers of mental illnesses. We all have a stereotypical picture in our minds of rooms covered in dirty clothes, dirty dishes, and of course, greasy, crusty, stained and ripped clothes with a cartoony little cloud of flies hovering around the subject's head. But think about that image and what it really is: a failure of one of the most base instincts the human species has. We are, all things considered, a clean species, and don't let stories of filthy peasants throughout history fool you.

We have a wealth of evidence of bathhouses throughout every kind of civilization, washing fabrics as a respectable profession, hygienic products older than the pyramids, and mentions of perfumes and fine clothing as old as civilization itself. Humans want to be clean and smell good, we always have. A failure to do so is, as with many things thoughtlessly ridiculed, a worrying sign of either a mind in trouble, or thoughtlessly neglected in the education of how to keep clean.

We're born as near-blank slates, and generally acknowledges as needing to be taught not to defecate in our pants. But somewhere along the line that grace disappears, and the knowledge of how to deal with smells effectively and thoroughly is assumed to be simply known. And as such, a failure of simply knowing is judged a moral or personal failing.

This is bullshit.

People need help in all kinds of matters, hell, we need to be taught how to do sex. The thing that ensures our actual species doesn't die out! If we can agree and acknowledge that even that information isn't truly inborn, but taught, we can do the same for other awkward, unpleasant, and mildly embarrassing topics.

Like what to do when you just don't know how to deal with smelling like a stinky gym sock, and are at your wit's end. So let's handle it with some grace and kindness from now on, yes? At least on this post.

And in that spirit, if anyone else here has a recommendation for how to deal with specific stubborn stanks, or has a specific kind of problem I haven't addressed, I hope you all will take such answers and questions in the respect I've given, and treat each other kind.

[popponn]

boyfriend hcs | isagi yoichi.

notes: im done pretending to be sane. "things and hcs about isagi yoichi" post because world hard and cold isagi yoichi soft and warm. this time, really mean it when saying no brain just isagi big love. please don't look at this too closely, other than that: no warning.

the "natural rizz" type who is honestly not really good at being purposefully suave. if he tries, it will either go boyfailure route or cute babygirl route. if he doesn't, it's a full package bf who will get your whole family & friends' approval.

at first, he tries really hard, but the moment you get him to calm down and kick the nervousness away, you will get: casual affection, unconditional support, a cuddly & clingy bf on weekends, etc.

looks at matching keychains once and the metavision is telling him it will be cute if you two have that.

he seems like the type who is not obvious when he is in love. at first. the moment his friends accidentally stumble upon your dates and see his smile, his smile is fooling no one.

somehow could make the most mundane unromantic activity cute as long he does it with you. accidentally. somehow.

when he starts dating you, his clothes will reflect your taste because: 1) he will shop for those clothes with you and ask for your opinion; 2) if you are a sane human with a bare minimum level of taste you should know his fashion sense level is in minus already—please do a favor to mankind and get him away from that neon orange trousers and bright green jumper; 3) he just wants to see you happy; 4) despite his humble look and usual demeanor, he likes showing off that he has you and you have him.

doesn't mean he can pick your clothes. do yourself a favor and think thrice or ten times if he suggests clothing or god forbid a mix match. love makes people dumb but it has to have a limit. your man is not trustworthy in the style department.

getting his parents' approval should be the least of your worries. his blue lock fellows and noel fucking noa should be your concern. good luck, high chance you have to verbally fight people like michael kaiser and barou shohei.

your phone is guaranteed to have at least 5 country clocks in it because yoichi is an international sensation. and when he is not busy practicing, you barely leave his mind at all.

it ranges from "oh, they will like this as a gift" to longingly gazing at his phone because while he is an understanding & secure attachment-style boyfriend, it doesn't mean he can bear with you not contacting him for three days. call your man. text him.

his favorite songs will be that cm song and whatever you often listen to around him—"it just sticks". his favorite movie will be totoro and your favorite movie. attachment and fond memories are the main driving force for his favorite stuff.

is pretty independent and self-sufficient that is not clingy most of the time. unless when he is sleepy. he hugs his pillow when he sleeps, now that he has you get ready.

if your main love language are acts of service and words of affirmation, it will be an instant match. "i do this for you, you do this for me" without any talking needs to be done, just like second nature. and he likes to be praised.

in case of quality time and physical touch, it will take some time to get used to, most probably. while he clearly enjoys time with his closest ones, isagi also enjoys his alone time and thinking time too. and he used to be a shy boy who doesn't share touches with people much. but believe in his adaptability, as long as the parties involved are willing to figure this out it will get figured out.

made a whole post about this once like a besotted fool, but is a really good listener who likes listening to you. it's like you "giving him a piece of you"—especially if it is a part of you that you don't share much.

please do listen and try to figure him out though. moving on soon and focusing on the present's solution is good but in some cases, it really might lead to what people call "pent-up emotions". isagi doesn't enjoy looking or being "weak", but really understanding the emotions he doesn't say out loud will benefit both of you in the long run.

keep the balance in everything—because isagi as understanding and adaptable as he is, still sometimes has a lapse in judgment.

before this gets into angst territory let's stop here. moving on.

is canonly described as poetic in one of exhib dialogues—which means this man is scientifically proven to be cheesy as hell.

sheepish, boyish, cute, sometimes nervous, very boy next door yes. but when he is in the moment, aka the romance flow is kicking, get ready for the most heartfelt, the most sincere profession of love under the sunset. an "i'm glad you are in my life", an "i will happily choose you again", etc.

learn to kick a soccer ball if you can't. 1) good for self-defense; 2) he sometimes brings the ball to sleep and if you don't want it, really think of it as self-defense. (not kidding, check his PWC sprite and that one sleeping anime official art merch)

at first gets bashful at pet names, but if someone makes fun of him—especially during a match—that's just asking for it.

remember his habit of being unable to say "no"? In a very loving manner, it comes back in full force with you. he will spoil the hell out of you even when you don't ask him to. what you want, isagi will get.

you have to be his #1 supporter. because he is yours. sometimes he can give advice and help for you, sometimes he can't. but if anything, he will always be there.

has a soft spot for you smiling while hugging something. in other words, while his gallery is full of your photo with plushies, animals, etc—the number of mirror selfies with the two of you hugging each other is enough to make anyone blink in astonishment.

if someone badmouths you or tries to harrass you, oresagi aka on field persona comes out without any hesitation. and while isagi's appearance doesn't come in the most intimidating form—we have seen him. hold him back, please.

even after everything, is honestly a pretty simple guy who thinks a simple breakfast with you worth much more than expensive dinners. home dates with him is always the coziest thing on earth, no matter whether under a sunny sky or rainy clouds.

when he is dedicated to you, he is dedication itself. certainly still have to do pr and fanservice when he meets some fans in the street, but before he leaves he will always squeeze your hand like asking for permission and he always does it with such efficiency that some of his friends wonder if he is trained to return as quickly as possible to your side. (yeah. isagi values efficiency and like how he wants a goal, he wants to enjoy his date with you.)

comfort hcs tho, when you feel insecure or down in some ways talk to him. he might pick up the bad mood but he isn't the type to try and overstep when you don't want to tell him. and as said before, he is a really good listener who is always there for you, so it will really do you good.

sometimes protest but he loves it when you play with his hair one way or another. ruffle it, pat it, style it—do as you wish. bonus if you are in front of him, in his lap, in the comfort of your shared abode. clingy isagi coming out again.

he hugs in the same way he kisses. they are long and heartfelt. one could use "passionate" to describe them, if it isn't for a certain chaste-esque mannerism that is almost always there.

the only time it is not is when the two of you are in private but because this is a family account. not going there.