#idk if i actually want to write this ramble because i started rewatching a bunch of scenes that i needed to figure my thoughts out

[elegyofthemoon]

ok but do i want to actually sit and read through all the clockie animation stuff so i have better foundation for what i want to say? i guess

[eddiegettingshot]

okay. mourning s1-s4 tim minear anon here. just finished my season 3 rewatch and ohhhhh boy oh boy. honestly I could write so much about that finale alone because s6 and s7 have made me forget what a good finale can be (athough I will say that the s3 finale has me thinking a wholeeee bunch of insane things about the s7 finale like buddie things and how the writing choices are were insane (complementary) that I will not elaborate on here because Im already rambling too much about how good s3 is). but genuinely all the character arcs were SO GOOD this season its insane. athena (hate the copaganda here but the general emotional journey with athena and athena/may): establishing what being a cop means to her -> showing that not even the murder of her fiance could sway her from policing and finally arresting the man that did it -> experiencing something traumatic first hand that makes her question her ability to do the job again. and then may: hating what her mom does, going as far as to write her college essay about it, then insisting on taking the pictures with her mom for prom despite her injuries from policing/not being ashamed of her. and also appreciating it to the point of also wanting to help people but as an acab truther pursuing a different way of doing it (911 operator. also imagine they made may a cop thank god that didnt happen lmao). michaels feeling of loneliness and isolation leading up to his diagnosis, then ending the season by meeting his endgame and knowing he gets to live. buck starting the season being insecure about losing his place with the 118 and being the person left behind again and ending the season confronting the last person who left him + feeling secure in his relationships with the 118. bobby's refusal to let buck do anything at the beginning of the season due to his injury + general recklessness vs doing buck's suggested rescue to save both victims. both the henren IVF/fostering arc AND the hen arc were great and thank god because the henren of it all was seriously lacking before this season. but hitting the girl with the ambulance -> reconnecting with her first rescue -> introducing her issues with Drs and their ability to listen and help patients to their full ability -> pursuing med school SO GOOD. and remember when madney used to get character arcs UGHH soooo good. developing chim + his mom/albert/his dad more. having maddie actually confront what happened with doug via therapy (btw maddie stalker plot good example of how to do an insane storyline well!!). this leading into the love confession and also the conclusion/start to the pregnancy arc they set up in !!! episode 1 !!! them not just dropping the josh arc completely after the heist trauma he suffered and seeing it through to a satisfying conclusion. and like I do have one nitpick in hindsight like the eddie arc was so good up until he got caught in the fighting ring and he cried about the divorce and then it was just never brought up again in favour of doing the mini chris stories in 3x10/3x12/3x15. like you literally had a chance to address and conclude eddie's mourning shannon arc in eddie begins or the episodes surrounding that and just didnt LMAO idk maybe they had plans and it got scrapped for the buck/red/abby arc because connie agreed to come back because really it was the only thing that did not feel concluded relative to literally every other character arc this season. anyways where is this tim. TIM WAKE UP!!! come back and give your characters arcs!!! one thing that is super obvious from rewatching the early seasons is there is still SO MUCH interesting stuff to explore with these characters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am begging please give eddie a story with a satisfactory conclusion please give maddie and chim stories please stop torturing hen and karen via fostering/adoption please conclude a buck plot in satisfactory fashion please have bobby and athena explore his past properly please make ravi a main

ohhhh my god THIS MADE ME MOURN S3 TOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 what the fuck COME BACK TIM 😭😭😭😭😭 i want him BACK 😭😭😭😭😭

[saline-coelacanth]

So I was rewatching season 1 and got to the episode where Kai gets his true potential and of course my brain started doing that thing that it does where it comes up with an idea and refuses to let go of it for a while

So pretty much I was kinda ranting to myself about how Kai and Morro have so many parallels that the show just ignores completely because for most of the episode, Kai just reminds me so much of Morro (and for obvious reasons.)

And then initially as a joke, I said something along the lines of "Au where Kai doesn't unlock his true potential and he basically becomes Morro 2.0" but as usual, my brain kinda latched onto that idea and started to think about it more. And then I made the mistake of thinking about it while taking a shower and thinking about aus while in the shower basically guarantees you're brain is gonna come up with a bunch of new ideas.

And since I love aus where one or more of the ninja turn evil, I kept running with this whole idea of Kai turning evil and betraying the others in an attempt to prove that he's worthy enough to be the green ninja, meanwhile completely ignoring the whole point of the green ninja prophecy because he's become too obsessed to see past any logic in his plan. And one of the aspects that I came up with was the fact that Kai still keeps the sword of fire with him so the others only have three of the golden weapons and thus can't prove anyone else is the green ninja since they need all four so they can react to the green ninja. I feel like for the sake of the plot, they still figure out that Lloyd is the green ninja somehow, maybe like the other weapons have a very slight reaction but it's enough for Wu to realize "Oh wait, Lloyd is probably they green ninja."

But yeah I just wanted to ramble for a bit. As usual, idk if this is gonna become a full au or not, but I did write a short one shot that I might post if I feel like it. I guess if people are interested, then feel free to ask me questions about this potential au/storyline, maybe that'll help solidify it as an actual thing I wanna work on. Idk I just wanna ramble about my one off ideas more often.

[on-a-sunbeam]

hiiii!!

love your blog! i started rewatching alias again and i have no one to talk about it with sooo would love to read you rambling about it if you'd like !!

HELLO!! :D I ALSO ENJOY YOUR BLOG!! I am also always always down to talk about alias so if you want to ramble too 👀👀

but alias! Show of all time!! I think the general consensus is that the first two seasons had the best writing? Which I don't disagree with at all but my favourite is season 3 because it's soo silly to me and also I just really like Lauren. Depending on what scene I'm currently watching Resurrection is either my favourite or least favourite episode lol. Also my hot take/thing that keeps me up at night from this is that Sark has seen the lord of the rings movies. Not that you can't say show us the meaning of haste without it being a reference to anything, but it's funnier in my opinion.

My favourite character is probably Allison? And I will literally never shut up about her if you get me going like why did they make her backstory so sad?? You didn't have to do that guys. Idk she's just a very tragic character to me and I want to study her under a microscope. The relationship between Irina/Allison/Sark is one that I'll never not be thinking about, just because they imply so many things but we never get to actually see them and I'm reaallly normal about it! :) But also there honestly are very few characters who I DON'T like in alias, I'm pretty sure they might've just looked at my favourite types of characters and said 'alright we'll give you one of each' like a guy at a butcher's shop.

Also I know you didn't specifically say anything about headcanons but I have so many I love making stuff up!! I think that Lauren and Will would've been besties they're both like that one post where it's like 'I might've had a crush on you but then you opened your mouth and now I have the urge to study you because something's up'! I think that Katya and Irina were business partners for a little bit but then Katya got a little too into it and Irina felt threatened and fired her essentially lol. Also there are SO many ghosts. Just a whooole bunch. After the Covenant snatches up everyone within reach and makes Allison pseudo-immortal she can sometimes see Rambaldi's ghost but she also has no clue who this weirdo is. He also doesn't talk to her and it's just kinda weird. Nadia and Rambaldi have more of an Eddie and Venom type thing going on except obviously Rambaldi is not a goopy creature and they're not gay for each other. Sloane becomes increasingly haunted as the series progresses and he is not having fun with it. After Irina dies Sark sees her ghost but he might actually just be going crazy so.

Uhm anyway thank you I love rambling!! :D I'd love to hear your thoughts on anything and everything too!! Always a delight to talk to more alias people :]

EDIT: ok so I Could Not find the post on the blog but this is what I meant heh!

[mego42]

Writer Asks

Tagged by @sothischickshe, @bourbon-ontherocks and @medievalraven who are all v lovely and for reasons unknown to me, want me to ramble about my fic so like, blame them for this I guess

Tagging @fairhairedkings, @riosnecktattoo, @inyoursheets, @foxmagpie, @pynkhues if you feel like it

ao3 name: ms_scarlet (origin story no one asked for: I came up with it for a creative writing class where we had to submit everything under pseudonyms for anonymous full class critique, which was gr9 and not at all traumatic, and I was deeply obsessed with both the Grateful Dead and Sublime versions of Scarlet Begonias at the time)

fandoms: the only fandoms I’ve written fic for are bellarke/t100 and Good Girls (and Buffy but it was way back in the day, pre-organized archives and has been completely lost to time which is For The Best)

number of fics: 14 (lol, 5 over the course 3 years in t100 fandom and 9 since joining the GG fandom at the beginning of s3, you could say I have been inspired)

fic i spent the most time on: a song inside the halls of the dark for sure, it’s the first multi chapter I’ve ever done and I’m far enough into it that I will be super honest, I was extremely dubious over whether or not I’d actually see it through when I started but huzzah! It’s happening. But yeah, I spend like, a lot of time thinking about it, writing it (lmao obvs), rewatching clips of the show to pick apart characterization and mannerisms, etc, etc. I try to work on it in some capacity every day (sometimes that just means outlining or deleting chunks of my outline and crying about how much I hate myself) to keep up momentum so yeah, def that one.

As far as one shots go, there’s blood in my body (I’m holding on) for bellarke, I think I spent a month, maybe 6 weeks working on that

fic i spent the least amount of time on: as the world turns, the blunt burns, I was doing my usual lazy Saturday morning scroll through Tumblr before I got out of bed and saw a post like I want beth and mick to get high together (I would love to give credit but I haven’t the foggiest notion who said it, I wasn’t intending to write it so I didn’t pay too much attention, I’m the worst, I’m sorry) and then some dialogue popped into my head maybe 10 min later and I think I wrote the whole thing in like, 45 min on my phone. Cannot emphasize enough how little I thought about it (or proofed it tbh, yikes, so many typos) before posting

most hits: overall, I’ve Got You Here my t100 post s3, alt s4 thing. For Good Girls, a song inside the halls of the dark

most kudos: overall, there’s blood in my body (I’m holding on) - bellarke modern au. For GG, still song.

most comment threads:  a song inside the halls of the dark by a M I L E (it twice as many as blood, the next highest), the GG fandom is so lovely and supportive and friendly and I love you guys, I really do

most bookmarks: same as kudos, blood overall and then song for GG

highest total word count: lol song is killing it

favorite fic i wrote: oh man, that’s hard. I love them all for different reasons. Blood was my first ever AU (I am a canon/canon-divergent ho) and it also deals with some stuff that’s important to me so that’s always going to have a special place in my heart. I’ve Got You Here was the first time I tried to tackle something bigger than a missing scene or short one-shot so that’s also significant.

I’m really proud of smoke, fire, it’s all going up because I think I did a p good job with the Rio POV there. I’d give her a HA! And a HI-YA! is special bc it’s my first outside POV and it was based on so little info it was basically OC, so that was a fun challenge.

All of that said, obviously, a song inside the halls in the dark is my fav. It’s been the biggest stretch of my skills (I had NO! IDEA! If I could plot and pace on the level required to sustain the fic I’d originally outlined and it’s only grown from there tbh), it’s also been like, the loveliest experience? I keep saying people’s reaction to it has broken my brain and I’m not actually just saying that. I’m deeply overwhelmed. And last but emphatically not least, it’s how I’ve gotten to know @nickmillerscaulk who, on top of being an incredible editor (seriously y’all, she is Skilled, I’ve learned so much from her), is such an awesome, amazing person and I’m so very glad we’ve become friends.

fic i want to rewrite/expand on: Oh man, idk. Pills N Potions is the easiest because it’s a prompt collection! Send me prompts! I can’t promise I’ll write them right away (my ADHD is so very real and only dubiously under my control during quarantine, so I live in constant terror of losing the thread of song especially this close to the end) but I def want to flex my quick and dirty short fic for funsies skills. I’m super looking forward to @goodgirlsficrecs prompt-a-thon.

share a bit of a wip or story idea you’re working on: ahahaha oh man, my google drive is littered with partially drafted or outlined ideas. I have a bunch of missing scene things I started at various points in s3 that are realistically dead in the water.

In terms of WIP/ideas I’m still intending to work on/finish:

A post 311 Rio POV pwp

A fishing/fencing/flute playing fluff for @medievalraven because I keep taunting her with my tags for song

The Good Guys (Rio, JT and Stan) thing that snowballed in a post way back when from @jazillia007, @nickmillerscaulk, and @inyoursheets

I still low-key want to do the transcripts for the Mick, Annie and Ruby group chat. I might save that for whenever I rewatch and have it running concurrently to s3, idk we’ll see

A Jewel Thief AU that I am wildly hyped about. I outlined the first chapter of it around when I started posting song and haven’t let myself do anything with it because I know once I get started I’m going to abandon whatever else I’m working on

More Annie POV, I don’t have any specific ideas, I just really love writing Annie POV

[gottagobuycheese]

Tag Thingy

Thanks for tagging me, @drivingsideways! (Answering these questions has made me realize how bad I am at actually finishing things, so hopefully this’ll force me into seeing some of them to completion lol)

The rules for the game are to tag 9 people you either want to get to know better or catch up with. 

(Putting this under a cut because to the surprise of ABSOLUTELY NO ONE this is got quite long and quite irrelevant) 

Last song: Because it seems I am unable to initiate errands without selecting an adequately motivational backing track, I was technically listening to this Pokémon Hype Mix | Battle Music compilation, of which the most recent song I’d listened to in it was Lorekeeper Zinnia’s Theme (Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire). It is a verified BOP and very effective at kickstarting me into doing otherwise boring tasks. 

Last movie: Gosh I feel like it’s been ages since I watched a movie and not a movie-length TV episode or sequence of episodes, but I think it was Along with the Gods: The Last 49 Days. I don’t remember how I ended up watching it, and I’m sure there was plenty of cultural stuff that went over my head despite the translation’s best efforts, but it was enjoyable! 

Currently watching: And here my choatic wreck of an attention span gets dragged to the town square for public shaming and tomato-ing. So TECHNICALLY I’m rewatching Stranger (it started out for fic research purposes and I’d meant to just skip to the relevant parts but unfortunately I overestimated my ability not to get utterly swept away by the story which is doubly unfortunate considering my next writing deadline is in approximately 39 hours RIP TO ME), but in terms of new shows, I’m keeping up with The Uncanny Counter (RIPE WITH FOUND FAMILY, HIGHLY RECOMMEND*) and Kairos as they air. That being said, I am a creature who subsists almost exclusively off of immediate gratification, so in between waiting impatiently for new episodes, I have also started Because This Is My First Life (not my typical show, but I decided to give it another chance beyond the first episode this time, and I’m very glad I did), Be Melodramatic (another atypical one, and it’s definitely harder to get through than some of the others (not because it’s boring or anything, but. idk. it’s hard to get through a single episode in a single sitting), but I’m invested now. I’m also a known weakling for unconventional living arrangements so there’s certainly that), and (as of yesterday) HILDA SEASON 2 (CANNOT stress what a cozy and fun and seasonally-appropriate-for-much-of-the-northern-hemisphere show this is). If we’re talking “shows I have started watching/rewatching and stopped at the first or last 15% but still intend to complete,” this list is...longer. Much, much longer. 

Currently reading: This question made me realize that maybe it’s so hard to write because I haven’t read anything in so long! I haven’t read a single book all year except the second Kiyoshi book, and despite a bunch of fics and authors I’m invested in updating recently, I’m also not keeping up with any of those (and it’s not like I don’t want to! It’s just not. happening.). So I guess technically, books in progress are  Castle in the Air (the Howl’s Moving Castle sequel that I have been trying to read since...last summer? Maybe?) and The Fellowship of the Ring (which has been an on-and-off task since eighth grade, but I feel like now that I’ve gone and misplaced the book it’s slightly more understandable that I haven’t finished it yet). Fics-wise, the list is r e a l l y long, but I can’t really say I’m actively reading any of them at the moment.  

Currently craving: gonna steal a leaf from your book and say “any life but this,” but I really can’t complain since I did this to me, and I’m sure at least 17% of this disenchantment comes from the associated stress of yet another application season, which WILL be over eventually. Ahem, anyway, in terms of things I can actually theoretically have some day, I am daydreaming about stir-fried okra the way my mom does it (i.e. very simply, just heat a pot with a smidge of oil, cut the okra lengthwise, throw in some salt and a bunch of green chilies ± a pinch of turmeric powder (still don’t know what the point of it is, but it’s The Done Thing), and cook them until they’re slightly singed — OR just slightly undercook and then stick them in the oven until they’re nice and crispy and have probably lost their nutritional value). Honestly I think I’m just craving a primary vegetable dish that is not simply part of a larger pasta/ramen/burrito type of thing. (I COULD just go to any of the Asian markets within walking distance of here and just buy the dang okra, but I keep filling my shelf on the fridge with spinach and mushrooms and making pot after pot of instant ramen or pasta. I am tired. So tired. But I think I’ll be able to excavate the freezer some time soon since some of our housemates are moving out, so hopefully that means New Food soon) 

If you made it to the bottom of this list, I applaud your tenacity and apologize for my incoherent rambling. Tagging (no pressure of course!): @pachelbelsheadcanon, @averybritishbumblebee, @sailorlock, @runningturnip, @jessicafish, @mehrto, @imperiousheiress, @yeswevegotavideo, @beingjanee, and everyone else I haven’t tagged who’s itching for something to do! 

[mystic-kitten-writer]

You’re so sweet for being so reassuring and not minding at all how I ramble about astrology 🧡 I’m very flattered with how you said how observant I am, thank you for that! But oh my gosh, please, there’s nothing to be jealous about. I personally feel like I get bogged down by details that at times I get too caught up and the bigger picture gets overlooked. (1/9)

And Zuko really is the poster child of a Mars man, you summed it up perfectly!! I am far from being an expert, but I love the validation you shower me with 🥰 Though I actually would love to reach a level where I can offer chart readings to anyone interested and have it be some kind of little side job one day. But ahh, there’s still so much I have to learn, from traditional to modern, it’s a discipline really worth getting into. (2/9)

I’ve never really thought about Azula’s nor Mai’s sign. Now I really want to think + look into it! It would be fun to analyze how that affected their dynamic with Zuko. I’ve been meaning to do a rewatch of the entire series due to quarantine, but even with staying home, there’s still school. And I find myself more stressed and not in the proper headspace to do a whole rewatch + be able to appreciate it properly. Idk if that made any sense, but hopefully I get over it soon. (3/9)

I’m hypothesizing that Azula has strong Leo/Scorpio to her, though she shows the negative qualities. She’s very loud, loud as in she makes people take notice of her + seeks praise/basks in any praise given to her, feeling entitled to all of it. Though I have to give it to her, she has this compelling vibe to her, so her entitlement is valid. She’s also cunning + manipulative and is a master at being so. Though none of that is her fault, she just really didn’t know any better. (4/9)

I would associate Mai’s no bull-shit attitude with Capricorn/Aquarius. I actually haven’t read the comics but her no bull-shit persona shines in the series and it’s fantastic! She’s not upfront with her feelings, but blunt with everything else. At the same time, she didn’t have a problem with stepping up when needed, such as stepping up to Azula. All of which fit into the archetypes of Cap/Aqua. And I agree communication between her and Zuko would be crucial for understanding between them. (5/9)

Those are my best guesses, I’ll get back to you more on how their signs played into their interactions with Zuko when I get to rewatching the series later! Yue’s gentleness comes from her Venus energy, and it’s wonderful how it allows Zuko’s inner Cancer to be visible. I also just realized Yue’s Libra energy and Zuko’s Aries energy play a part as to why they’re so appealing to each other too. They are opposites that just absolutely complement each other! (6/9)

Oh, I’m a Taurus + Libra moon + Sagittarius ascendant! Thanks for being curious ☺️ Going back to how you said you’re a Scorpio and your sister is a Taurus, I can relate. My mom is a Scorpio, and similarly, it took growing up for me to understand where my mom is coming from because we used to disagree on a bunch of things. I don’t have a proper explanation for it tbh. Other than the fact that Taurus and Scorpio are naturally opposites, so misunderstandings can easily arise. (7/9)

Though funny enough, I have a lot of people in my life that have Scorpio in their chart, and I’ve read a few times that if signs that naturally oppose each other make the effort to connect, then the connection is extraordinary. And as a Taurus, the people who positively affected me most are people with Scorpio energy, so I guess it’s the universe’s way of bringing balance. (8/9)

Omg, all of my asks basically make up a whole essay on astrology, and I really can’t believe I typed all that out. But thank you for sharing my enthusiasm for it 💓 I promise I can talk about things other than astrology though, aha. The next time I send you a message it’ll be on a different topic for sure! Also, I have no idea if any parts duplicated/are missing because Tumblr made me wait an hour before I could send everything. So I hope everything shows up properly! (9/9) - 🌻

I don’t know if it’s just me – but it makes my DAY getting long asks.

I love reading people’s words because you can tell how much effort and joy the person has while writing something (whatever the topic is). Like high-key, I wait for your asks because they’re always so long and in-depth, and as someone who suffers from word vomit – I can appreciate the passion and overall love. So, you better not send me short asks – I will hold it against you 😂 LOOL I need an essay buddy~! 😉

I AM CLAIMING DIBS ON BEING YOUR FIRST CUSTOMER. You can read my whole soul damnit because while I totally agree with you that Astrology is a broad discipline with much material to learn and cover, you have a vast knowledge on the topic already. I can totally see you doing it! You explain things very well, and as I read, I find myself learning stuff, and as someone who loves learning – your attention to detail and how clear you are is much appreciated.

Trust me, I get that feeling of stress. Like even though I finished school, and I can relax for the summer because my summer classes got cancelled, being stuck at home is starting to get to me. I’m very much an ambivert (leaning towards introverted), and usually, being alone is my fav zone. Still, I do enjoy going for walks and staying active (even if it's solo activities #Idontdoteamworkandusuallyendedupplayingsoloevents). But the weather has been poor, and I think all my family and friends are starting to get cabin fever 😅. Are you done your classes for the semester yet, or do you still have time to go?

OUUU, I see that mix of Leo Scorpio. Gosh, you're so good at this stuff. I can ask you questions all day LOOL. Like that manipulative aspect is, no doubt in my mind, a Scorpio thing 🙈. Like I’m a Scorpio, and even I can admit it – we’re master manipulators (for better or worse). But I’m surprised by the Mai one! Not because I don’t agree, but because I couldn’t pin one down for her, but I think you nailed it. I’m excited to see if you change your opinions once you watch the show. Because something I notice that happens naturally as you age, is certain traits of the zodiac signs become more prominent or disappear. Because, unsurprisingly, first episode Zuko to comic books Zuko are pretty much two completely different characters. He went from ‘don’t touch me’ to starting every single hug in the comic books with Aang and Sokka, etc. (Soft Zuko does things to me 🤭).

SO, QUESTION – how does Yue’s Venus influence Zuko’s cancer, and how does Yue’s Libra’s energy influence Zuko’s Aries? Like I know, they influence each other, but I’m trying to find the right words, or examples, of it happening. Or ways to describe how they affect each other. I’m sorry if I’m not making any sense. I just – there’s so much to learn, and I want to know more and more 🤯

HANDS DOWN, I would not label you as a Taurus!

I was going to label you as a Libra (so I’m happy I got that one right, kind of), but I’m so shooketh about the Taurus. But I can’t agree with you more on the fact that while Taurus/Scorpio’s are opposites, if they put effort into the relationship, it's incredible. Because I think a lot of it stems from miscommunication. Like I believe communication is vital in any given relationship, obliviously, but certain signs need an extra sprinkle of it to work.

My sister just had a second baby, and her first baby is a Libra/Scorpio cusp, and the second girl is Scorpio, and her husband is also a Libra/Scorpio cusp. I had to laugh and say good luck raising two mini-mes! She’s like I shot myself in the foot LOOL 😂😂😂

And don’t worry about it, hunny! If I ever miss a part, I’ll send a post right away in search of your missing ones because I need your words 😉

[mittensmorgul]

Heya, did you write a post on the 300th episode about how you liked that Dean didn't scream and yell at John, and how Dean's acceptance of his life and what his father did was actually very much in character for him? I know I read an analysis like that and I'm trying to find it. Do you remember if you wrote something like that?

Hello there! And yeah, I’ve written a bunch on it... here have some links in chronological order:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/182646258930/mittensmorgul-i-love-that-the-main-takeaway-from

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/182647299820 (emotional post-ep tag rambling on a lovely gif set)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/182647403370/rachelhaimowitz-mittensmorgul-and-heck (near-immediate-post-ep reaction, attached to literal liveblogging notes)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/182650970910/i-think-the-reason-i-loved-this-episode-is-because

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/182659456565/the-more-i-watch-101-the-more-i-see-how-1413 (since I went back and watched 1.01 the morning after 14.13 aired)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/182660746295/hi-i-really-enjoy-your-blog-and-thank-you-for (about destiel, but also about DEAN HIMSELF, and only added here because this is my post and i do what i want) :’D

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/182666587985/a-pearl-of-great-price-14x13-lebanon (one day post episode, my thoughts and @drsilverfish)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/182686837440/sometimes-i-just-start-rambling-in-the-chat (two days post episode, baggage)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/182723615495/rosewhipped22-so-i-havent-rewatched-lebanon-yet (three days post episode, my thoughts attached to a post by @rosewhipped22)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/182739036420/thought-half-of-why-john-is-more-accepting-in (four days post episode, from john’s perspective)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/182742853500/ok-was-i-the-only-one-that-thought-that-the-pearl (four days post episode)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/182768804195/you-are-a-grown-man (more by marghe... heck since i’m compiling this in reverse chronological order, that’s postmodernmulticolored cloak, linked below already)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/182809680760/ive-seen-people-compare-and-contrast-deans-pearl ( a post by lizbob, but perfectly relevant)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/183546769690/ive-been-thinking-about-justin-smith-and (a post by @elizabethrobertajones about 14.15, focused more on Sam and John, but tangentially related)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/183579401925/a-normal-life-a-peaceful-life-about-normativity (a post by @postmodernmulticoloredcloak about 14.15, but yes, because that ep was a goldmine of mirrors and parallels)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/183599304315/hello-mittens-do-you-think-the-300th-ep-painted (directly about John and how 14.13 portrayed him)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184563853945/idk-if-this-was-touched-on-already-but-i-was (more post 14.20 thoughts)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185018115175/im-gonna-lump-1404-and-1405-together-here-for (post 14.20 rewatch notes of 14.04 and 14.05, about fathers and emotional baggage)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185050918250/ive-been-holding-off-starting-1413-because-i (post 14.20 rewatch notes of 14.13, and how Dean’s ability to let his baggage go was a key element in his ability to both contain Michael in his brain fridge, and how Michael was able to be defeated in the first place... Dean proved he was NOT Michael, that he didn’t hold Michael’s identical bag full of daddy issues, and that he’d accepted his life-- unlike Michael, who lived entirely wrapped in his own bitterness and anger)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/185499854300/220-what-is-and-what-should-never-be-an-episode (post 14.20 rewatch notes of 2.20)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/186471109135/gosh-bringing-lisa-back-would-be-an-awful-idea-i (dean’s choices, anon putting forth the premise that lisa would return to be dean’s endgame li, and just... no)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/186948931735/justanotheridijiton (script pages, growth.gif)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/187893034105/callmekrowley-replied-to-your-post-hi (more about dean)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/188174052160/rainbow-motors-the-epic-tale-of-getting-jeffrey (a tag rant)

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/188497242580/neven-ebrez-mittensmorgul-dotthings (post 15.01, I think? reactions)

LOLOL okay I just scrolled back to the bottom of this post and... I am so sorry, but yes I have written just a wee bit about this, apparently...

[in-tua-deep]

Hi! Ok so I'm totally taking you up on your offer and gonna send in some stuff! So, I did a rewatch recently and took a few notes (mostly following 5 bc his concept and interactions are just so fascinating to me) and I noticed some stuff! 1] none if the kids have practically ANY physical interaction unless it's a fight or Allison and Vanya. Idk about you, but to me, that implies an oddly formal relationship even tho they're family and makes 5 and the handler that much stranger (1/?)

(2/?) And gives it that much of a contrast. I think someone on here counted that she touches him like 20 times or something? Idk BUT 2) there is such a clear divide between the “older” and “younger” siblings bar Diego and Klaus that it almost feels like 2 different families at times and it’s really interesting! 3) only 3 siblings have canon PTSD flashbacks/visions if we exclude Vanya during her breakdown: 5 and Klaus obviously, but also Allison, which is really interesting and plays into how

(3/3) Her growth bc of Claire. 4) 5 had to see his dead siblings, we know this, but he was also the one holding the cloth over Allison’s neck when Vanya attacked her, which is a horrifying detail but I love it. 5) there were 2 extra seats at the dining table in the flashback of all the kids! It’s probably not important, but with the shows attention to detail I can’t help but wonder. Also I’m sorry I just completely dumped on you but I wanted to know your thoughts 😅😅 that and I love your metas

yeAH my sister pointed out to me at one point that the Hargreeves familiarity with violence was alarming in that a lot of their physical interactions with one another were… violent. Diego fighting with Luther at the funeral. Klaus smacking Five across the face at the eyeball place. Luther choking Klaus. Luther choking Vanya. Ben punching Klaus. Like genuinely a concerning amount of their interactions with one another involve some form of violence oof and none of them really apologize for any of it either. It’s accepted and made to seem almost normal which says all manner of bad things about their family dynamic rip

BUT they also have interactions I feel are at odds with that - Vanya taking care of Five’s arm, Diego tying up Klaus to detox, Klaus attempting to comfort Luther even after literally just being smacked around by him, Diego with Klaus at the vet bar, Klaus and Five’s conversation on the steps of MeriTech where Five tells Klaus about Dolores - just these soft in between moments where they look after or confide in one another

and all of those moments are private, they’re one on one whereas in a group they tend to fight and put up walls and argue which says to me that collectively the family wasn’t allowed to show weakness (thanks Reggie) and so they fight in order to protect their weak points before anyone can attack them

there’s like, the four A’s of how people handle conflict and one of those is aggression. It’s attacking because you feel like if you aren’t on the attack then you’re the one being attacked. It’s raising your voice and being the aggressor and starting conflict because you’re trying to protect yourself, because you’ve learned that it’s kill-or-be-killed and if you aren’t on the offense then you’re being hurt (i know there’s avoid and appease and i can’t remember the other one off the top of my head whoops)

so what i’m saying is that when there’s witnesses, when there’s a group, they’re on the offensive from the start. But alone, there’s a little more wiggle room for weakness. Alone is at night when there’s no training left in the relative safety of their own rooms. Alone with one other person is private, and privacy is safety in a house like that.

So there’s this paradoxical roughness and softness with one another, they were in competition with each other no doubt but they’re also family. Reginald pitted them against one another, but there’s no possible way to keep walls up ALL the time, you know?

but yeah i have a lot of feelings about the kids interactions with one another to say the least u picked a topic i like to ramble about as is clear from all this text and i didn’t even talk about the handler and how i feel like her touch was with the primary motivation to make Five uncomfortable and to punish him for his rebellion

okay there is more to this ask and this response is going to get so long I can already tell sorry in advance

and yeah the divide between the siblings with ‘older’ and ‘younger’ siblings is interesting!! Luther-Diego-Allison are one-two-three and are sort of purposefully portrayed as the older siblings. I definitely think Luther and Allison were off in their own little world as kids and they were definitely the golden children, the good kids, the ones who didn’t really question their father and avoided a lot of punishments. They were set apart from the rest of the family - and I think a lot of that was on purpose.

Because Reginald Hargreeves pitted these children against one another, in a move that honestly was smart even as it speaks to the fact that he’s a horrifying human being: because if there is discord among the ranks and rivalries and pettiness then the kids aren’t banding together against the true threat in the household - they’re going at one another’s throats instead of Reginald’s. The rivalry between Luther and Diego is probably the clearest portrayed tbh but Five was clearly also held up as someone to beat, someone who was competition (”he ADAPTED”)

so it’s almost like there are three groups really - the ‘good’ kids, the middle kids, and the disappointments. You have Luther and Allison at the top, Diego and Five and maybe Ben in the middle (and Five is only in there because he’s too headstrong, too willful to be at the top because Reggie doesn’t appreciate those that can think for themselves), and then you have Klaus and Vanya way down at the bottom. And there’s crossover relationships between the tiers (Diego and Luther’s rivalry, Five and Vanya’s solidarity, Klaus and Ben being bros etc.) but they were divided up on purpose tbh

alright moving on i could yell about how reginald fucked up a bunch of perfectly good kids all day lmao but

Allison is such an interesting character in general??? like she’s not even in my top three for the show but damn if tua doesn’t have some seriously interesting characters in the show hot damn like her journey from petulant and manipulative child familiar and comfortable with violence to an adult trying desperately to piece her family back together and prove to herself that she can be the good mother she desperately wants to be to Claire

i feel like i yell an awful lot about luther and allison for someone who has them towards the bottom of their list of favs tbh whoops

also GOD how dare you remind me of Five’s Extra Trauma regarding that scene holy heck like is wasn’t enough he had to find his siblings dead bodies in the apocalypse he also has to press his hands to his sister’s throat and literally see the life fade from her eyes as they rush to save her?? like shit man and that’s a concept that i haven’t seen anyone really do anything about as well like actually @ authors who aren’t me bc i have a dozen other aus to write on top of my various ideas, someone please address this

also do you think that’s the reason that Five initially agrees to killing Vanya at the bowling alley?? because he’s thinking about Allison’s blood hot against his hands and he missed the entirety of the apology/Vanya freaking out scene???? I mean even though I yell about Five’s motivation being his family I don’t think it was out of character for him to turn on Vanya because in his mind stopping the apocalypse has become so entwined with saving his family that they might as well be the same goal

if it helps though i don’t think five would ever actually kill Vanya even if he did okay the plan like look the boy could have jumped behind vanya himself and snapped her neck like did you WATCH the fight scene in Griddy’s holy shit but he does Not do that because he doesn’t want his sister to die and he especially doesn’t want to be the one to kill her and that’s the tea on that

alright where was i

HMMM i dunno if there was any significance to the bigass table other that i mean,, technically there are two other family members?? There’s Grace and Pogo if you count them, but i mean otherwise I think it’s just a feature of a mansion to have a bigass dining room table that can’t possibly fit the entire family

so maybe it was a statement about Reginald not considering Grace and Pogo to be members of the family and excluding them

or maybe it’s just a rich people table lmao

but i really enjoyed all your thoughts and observations 10/10 feels free to yell at me again ;3c

I will admit that i’m a bit of sham because i’ve only seen the series like,, one and a half times?? like once all the way through and then watching the first few episodes again and then jumping around the random points to fact check or other things oops but i do plan on rewatching sometime when i actually have free time to spare!! only a few weeks until the end of the school year oof

[gotgifsandmusings]

Unnecessarily Dramatic (maybe? Is it?) SM Update

Oh hi. I have no idea how to start this, lol.

So...it’s not exactly subtle that I’ve had a downturn in content and posts lately. And this was something that I was really debating whether to even explicitly talk about, because a lot of times posts or videos about dialing back from social media always feel very dramatic to me? Or self-serving in some way. Like, “Oh yes, I must be that important to necessitate this.”

But idk, the more I thought about it, I really really do appreciate anyone who’s read/commented on my writing, or followed me, or sent me thoughtful asks, and whatnot. I think it’s cool that we’ve been able to engage with each other over media, and that platform has allowed us to really delve into a ton of issues. Remember when I wrote a sourced series of essays on tropes in GoT Season 5 through the framework of ambivalent sexism just ‘cause?

And even though sometimes that engagement is me you know, being snotty to a rude anon, for the most part my writing analysis online, then fanfic, then podcasting, then building up a website and a community for thoughtful analysis, and even a youtube video here and there has been something really meaningful and rewarding to me. The fact that it’s maybe touched others? At least enough to the point where I’m getting anons saying, “hope you’re okay”? That’s very humbling.

So yeah, I do feel like I want to loop you in on what’s been going on, which I will do below the cut. (Apologies those on mobile.)

I’m starting to feel like a dishonest cars salesman here. “Oh yeah, I’ll totally write about that! I’m definitely going to have this piece then!” Even just the number of answered asks, most of which are incredibly good and insightful, you know, pains me that I can’t get to them. Hell, my drafts folder has about 40 partially answered asks. One is even about Sondheim! Why can’t I finish it??

Here’s the deal. For the past...6 months (maybe? A year?), I’ve kept saying, “when life calms down.” Or “Life has been a bear lately”...whatever that means. And I’m only now at a point where I’m realizing, my life isn’t going to calm down. In fact, my life—that being my primary career, my situation where I am, and my relationships to friends and family—sort of needs to be a priority for me.

Full confession: the reason I’ve been so prolific up until this point was due to the fact that my previous “day jobs” as I called them, while in line with what I studied and cared about, were something I could do in about 15 hours a week, if that. There was a finite amount of work, I was decent at it, and I really didn’t have an ambitious drive at these jobs because they really weren’t as focused or meaningful as I would have liked and the environments were not conducive to my personal professional growth.

So what did I do? I mailed it in. I found more personal fulfillment with what I was writing about online. It began with the Legend of Korra finale, which had excited me so much that I actually wrote my first rambling thoughts about it during work hours. At the time, it was on a Friday going into the “Christmas Break” where I’d be working from home, so it seemed okay to push work off. But I got a taste for that, got in a pattern of doing the bare minimum, and then focused my efforts on the stuff I actually wanted to be doing—chatting about media.  

And part of that was also due to the fact that I was in a major social rut. I was pretty isolated since I tend to have a smaller group of close friends rather than a large bunch of friends, and our career paths just kind of scattered us. I’d maybe get together with people once a month? I also loathed the dating game. I was, for the most part, working at a small startup with two middle-aged ladies and no options there, which left me with tinder and cupid. I laugh because I’ve gotten asks like, “wow you must have been a busy bisexual bee.” Yeah...3 or 5 months would pass and I’d realize I hadn’t gotten laid, so I’d worry that was a sign I was depressed, and I’d go on some random cupid date to have tangible evidence that that wasn’t the case.

My point being, writing about media and engaging with tons of people online was really appealing, and became an outlet for me in a way I never could have anticipated.

But that entire situation changed. For one, I began dating my now-fiance (as much as I hate that word) over a year ago. It was long-distance, so not a huge change at first. Then my sister moved home and in with me last fall, and my family commitments dialed up (3 cats and a baby!). Which was fantastic, it really was. But I think you probably noticed I produced less and less as this went on.

And then, finally, I moved my ass halfway across the country because long-distance wasn’t making any sense anymore. I wasn’t willing to move without a job lined up, so job hunting began to focus me again on my professional career. While I love writing and analyzing, I’ve never seriously considered this as a career path for myself. Which is no knock on anyone who does—it’s just pursuing that life formally is not for me. I have an engineering degree and a Masters in environmental policy, and the latter is truly what I’ve always wanted as my focus. I was finally able to hone in on a job that made sense for me with my background, not just a job that was around when I needed one.

I found it, I moved mid-April, and I absolutely love what I’m doing. The job, the workplace, everything has so exceeded my expectations in every way, and for once I have like, career aspirations where I am. This doesn’t mean I’m any less passionate about analyzing media, but it does mean that professionally, I won’t mail it in anymore to make time for that. My job has to be my focus, and in fact I’m likely going to be working 50 hour weeks to do accomplish what I want here. And don’t worry—there’s amazing work from home policies and PTO, so it’s not a “work you to your grave” kind of deal. I legitimately want to be doing this, because I care about what I’m doing and feel like it matters.

What does that mean though? Well, it means I have to take a step back from the amount I’ve been doing. I can’t be copyediting every night for The Fandomentals, I can’t be writing a weekly piece, and the GoT rewatch, and two podcasts, and longer retrospectives, and other planned co-analysis, and fanfic, and answering all the asks I want to, and checking my site email to organize and manage our team of contributors. Certainly not if I want to sleep, work out, keep up with the news, be around family and friends, and have some semblance of downtime. That I was able to do all this stuff this long is actually probably not the best sign, you know?

So I’m trying to really focus my efforts. I plan to keep both podcasts going, because I really love doing that. The GoT rewatch is going to keep on keepin’ on as well, as planned. Julia and I will still finish out our retrospectives for S7, and I’ve even already rewatched the Dragonstone scenes. But my weekly pieces in addition to all this are going to stop, unless I’m super excited by something. I have no idea about my fanfic, to be honest, and I think that’s going to have to be a situational mood-based judgement call. With regards to the asks and social media interaction...I will do what I can, but as you’ve been seeing, it’s just not something I have a ton of time for. I haven’t even gotten back into my gifcapping funky flow!

For my LoK blog, god, I don’t even know how the definitive rankings are going to end up. I want to try, but really who knows. Because the other thing is that I come home from work and am actually like...intellectually tired. I need a break. I feel like such a boring drudge now, but it’s true. (Also BOTW is a great destresser.)

So yeah, there’s really no good way to end this. I’m just letting you know why I’m going to be sparse. But that also I’m doing well, so no worries there, and thank you so much for anyone who’s sent something caring about this.

And I’m still me, of course. If some GoT spoiler comes out or promo pictures or something, you can bet I’m going to be memeing like normal, and probably having stupid back-and-forths with some bellicose anon. If I feel like ranting about some movie or comic for 15 minutes in a video, I’ll likely do that. But I just can’t keep placing expectations on myself to do more next month, and it’s not fair to you to keep saying “when life calms down.” Life isn’t supposed to calm down. It’s not an inconvenience that gets in the way of me talking about my feelings on a piece of media. And moving forward, I’m going to do what I can to have a more balanced approach to all of that.