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toomanystoriessolittletime · 1 month ago

Text

dreaming

Summary: You thought your life ended, when you had to move the only home you ever known to marry a man you had never met before. But what if this was just the beginning?

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x fem. reader

Wordcount: 5.3k

Rating: T

Warnings: arranged marriage AU, mob politics, some angst, some smut, a panic attack, working in the shadowwwwws, some threats, Javi being a total sweetheart, fifteen year age gap, some kissing, one make out session, future talks, time jumps

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One of the few things you would miss when you would leave this island was the view.

Growing up on the island of Madeira and only leaving it for a handful of times, this view was like an old friend. Well… your only friend really.

You were the youngest and only daughter of Gilberto Flores, the head of the Flores clan. You were sheltered all your life, had everything you could ever dream of. Yet all you wanted was to have a family or real friends.

You grew up with different nannies, only seeing your father for an occasional dinner once or twice a week. You did not know your mother. Your brothers were all older than you and did not spend time with their little sister.

On your thirteenth birthday you learned that your father had arranged a marriage to the head of the Gutierrez clan once you were of age.

You felt trapped. Unhappy and lonely.

More than once you thought about fleeing, but where would you go?

There was no way to get off the island by yourself and you did not trust anyone enough to ask for help.

So you stayed.

You learned four languages, learned to dance.

Your father made you learn everything about the Gutierrez clan including your future husband Javier.

His reputation precedes him.

To the outside he was the owner of an olive farm on Mallorca. He was friends with politicians and even royalty, giving money to charities all across Europe.

But you knew that was only what he wanted people to know.

You learned that he was ruthless and cruel, that he did not shy away from killing to get what he wanted. The crimes went from blackmailing local politicians so he could continue with his drug business, to taking children hostage to get their parents to do what he wanted.

And if they didn’t….

You shouldn’t be surprised, your father was the same.

Sighing you stood outside of your balcony, watching the sun set for the last time. Your bags were packed, the wedding dress already waiting for you in your new home.

Tomorrow you would leave this place and probably never be back.

And even though part of you was relieved to finally see something of the world, the bigger part was scared of what was to come.

Your dream of falling in love and getting a happily ever after would stay just that. A dream.

In two days you would be married to a man twenty years older than you, that you had never met before.

You hadn’t even been kissed.

A tear slipped down your cheek and you closed your eyes, breathing in deeply.

Javi was staring at himself in the mirror as the tailor put the finishing touches to his suit.

His wedding suit.

Had it really been a month since his cousin informed him that he would get married to the youngest daughter of Gilberto Flores?

A girl who had just turned twenty one?

Getting married to a man fifteen years older than herself?

Closing his eyes he sighed quietly.

Yet another time he wished that he could just walk away from all of this. But he knew that Lucas had made it seem to everyone on the outside like he was the mastermind of the Gutierrez clan. He knew that if he would even attempt to get out of the family, the buisness, every law enforcement on the planet would put him behind bars.

He would be safe from his abusive cousin there though.

“We’re almost finished, Mr. Gutierrez,” the tailor said and Javi opened his eyes, giving the man a short nod.

“Thank you,” he said quietly.

He wondered about you.

Of course he had tried to find out something about you ever since he learned that the two of you would be married, but he had found close to nothing.

He knew that you had just turned twenty one, and that you were the youngest of the Flores children. You were most likely forced into this marriage much like he was.

Fucking mob politics.

If anyone thought Javi would as much as touch a hair on your head they were wrong.

He felt the tailor pull of his cream coloured jacket.

“You can take the pants off. I will have them ready for you by your wedding day,” the man said with a small smile.

“Thank you,” Javi said and took the pants off.

When he was alone he filled a glass with scotch and walked outside, watching the sun set.

You would arrive tomorrow and the day after tomorrow was the wedding.

This was not how he imagined getting married. He believed in true love. Once he thought it might be Gabriela who was his one. But she met another man and left him behind, much like everyone he ever cared about in his life.

Even though his house was never empty, Javi was lonely, he always had been. It was why he became so interested in movies and their own magic. When he watched a movie he forgot about his life. He could get lost in the story of a good (or sometimes bad) movie and pretend he was just a normal guy.

And that was just what he did that night. He made himself some popcorn and sat down in his private cinema.

And he cried his eyes out watching Toy Story 3.

Somehow you always thought he would look meaner. The man you were supposed to marry.

You had arrived earlier that day, being sent off to your new rooms immediately without a big hello. It was an hour before dinner when a maid arrived, informing you to ready yourself for dinner.

Which is where you were now, sitting next to the man who had introduced himself as Javier Gutierrez, Javi, as he told you you could call him.

He had a nice face. Handsome. His smile was hesitant, his eyes soft his hands warm as he introduced himself to you.

His open, soft expression completely changed when the rest of the dinner party arrived, the dinner party you had no idea was happening in the first place.

You carefully looked around after the main course had been served, the only people you knew being your father and his current mistress at the table. You didn’t even know what her name was. She gave you a sad smile when she found you looking at her.

She didn’t look much older than you were and you felt yourself disgusted for the family you had been born in.

„Gentlemen,“ Javier, Javi said next to you and you stiffened.

„If you’ll excuse me. I would like to get to know my… future bride a little better. The kitchen prepared desert for us to be served in my room,“ he said.

You bit into your tongue, your body stiffening when you heard the hollers from the table. You took a deep breath before you looked up at Javier who was holding his hand out for you to take.

You knew you didn’t have a choice. Not anymore.

So you put a fake smile on your face and took his hand, letting him help you up from your chair.

Whistles, catcalls and laughter were accompanying you until the door of the dining room closed behind you. Javi dropped your hand from his, releasing a deep breath.

He looked at you first, before he looked around as if he was searching for something.

Slowly he stepped closer and your eyes got big as his head leaned down, his lips close to your ear.

„There are eyes and ears everywhere. It’s why I asked for dessert to be served outside for us to speak without eyes or ears on us. However you can leave and go back to your room without any consequences if you don’t want to,“ he whispered. He parted from you looking at you with an honest expression.

You would marry the man in two days.

And nothing of this day had been like you imagined it.

So you gave him a small nod, seeing his eyes light up before he held his hand out for you again.

The view from Javi’s room was breathtaking.

You could see the whole garden of the estate with the ocean behind it, crashing against the shore.

The sun was setting, diving everything into a soft orange light as he showed you around, before he pulled the chair out for you on the left corner for his balcony where some chocolate cake had been served.

„I tried finding out your favourite desert so I could surprise you, but nobody could help me. So I went with chocolate in the hope you’d like it as much as I do,“ he explained, his expression sheepish, as he sat down across from you.

He had pulled his tie off immediately as the doors to his rooms closed behind you, opening up the first three buttons of his dress shirt. He threw his dress jacket on the floor, releasing a deep breath, before he found you watching him.

There was a shy smile on his lips as he told you how much he hated getting dressed up for events like this.

You were quiet, watching him and still feeling out of place. But there was something about Javi that put you at ease.

„I know you probably want to be even less than I am,“ Javi said after a moment when you had sat down.

The surprise must have shown on your face as he smiled softly.

„I found out a month ago that I am supposed to be marrying you,“ he said.

„I’ve known since I was thirteen,“ you finally spoke and his eyes closed as he sighed and shook his head.

„I am so sorry,“ he whispered, staring out at the ocean before he picked up the little fork and picked at his chocolate cake. When he had eaten some of the cake you picked up the fork too, digging in.

You hummed when you tasted the rich flavour of the chocolate and Javi looked at you with a small smile.

„You’re different than I thought,“ you said after you had both finished eating in silence.

„How so?“ He asked.

„I was taught that you were the ruthless leader of your house. I grew up listening to all the horror stories about you and your family. But you seem….“

You were looking for the right word.

„Softer,“ you finished your sentence and Javi laughed, sadly.

„Unfortunately I think all the stories you heard about my family are true,“ he began and your face fell, fear creeping back in.

„Once my father died I was meant to take over, and I did, at least to the outside world. All the things you learned about me are true. But it was not me who did them, it was my cousin,“ he said, his voice quieter now. There was a knock on the door, making you jump but Javi only reached over the table, squeezing your hand.

„It’s only Carla, the housekeeper. She’s going to get the dishes and brings some wine,“ he said before he got up and walked back inside.

You were startled again when the housekeeper, an older lady with a kind face picked up your dishes, speaking to Javi in Spanish on her way out. You tuned their voices out, tilting your head back and closing your eyes, listening to only the waves from the ocean.

You were beyond confused about the things that had happened since you got here.

But to your surprise you weren’t as terrified as you were only a day ago.

Because Javi was so far from the man you had grown up to fear would become your husband. You only met him today, but you there was something about him that made you feel like you could trust him.

He made you feel safe.

You startled when Javi sat back across from you, pushing a glass of red wine towards you. You raised your eyebrows in question.

„It is the best red from my own vineyard,“ he said and you nodded, picking up the glass.

You hated wine.

But you saw his hopeful expression as he watched you bring the glass to your lips, taking a sip.

You tried very hard not to let your face show just how exactly you like the wine but you saw Javi’s face fall anyway.

„You don’t like it?“ He asked.

Slowly you shook your head.

„Not a big fan of wine,“ you admitted and his shoulders fell, before he looked with a warm expression at you.

„What do you like? If we have to get married, I want to know you as best as I can. We might not be lovers, but I'd like to become friends,“ he said.

„Do you think there is a way out?“ You asked. He sighed, drinking some wine.

„If there would be one right now, without either of us ending up dead, I would have found one,“ he said with a sad smile.

You nodded, looking down at your hands.

„I did like the chocolate cake,“ you said after a while with a small smile.

„Yes?“ He said as you looked up. You nodded.

„But my favourite is Lemon meringue,“ you smiled at him and he chuckled.

„Tell me more,“ he leaned closer.

And you did.

You were pretty sure you were having a panic attack.

You stared at yourself in the big mirror in front of you. Dressed in white, not a hair out of place. You did not like the dress, but it did not matter.

All that mattered was that it looked good on you, and that it would look good on pictures.

You would be married in the next hour.

To a man you just so had gotten to know.

„Oh god,“ your hand flew to your chest, the fabric to tight.

You couldn’t breathe.

There was a knock on the door and you turned around with wide eyes, still feeling like you were choking. The door opened and Javi walked in, his face falling as he saw you, closing the door behind him as he closed the distance between you.

His eyes flew over you as you tried, but could’t bring your lungs to fill with air and you jumped when you felt him grab one of your hands.

„Breathe with me,“ he said, but you just shook your head, black spots appearing in the corners of your vision.

„I can’t,“ you gasped out but he shook his head. He brought your hand towards his chest.

„Feel it. Breathe with me,“ he said again and you looked up at him with wide eyes. You noticed yesterday that one of his eyes was lighter than the other. Still a rich brown, but… warmer.

With your eyes on him you focused on the way he was breathing.

In and out.

And in and out.

Your heart slowly slowing down, air finally filling your lungs.

He just stayed there with you until you calmed down. You heard the wedding planner outside reminding you that it was only fifteen minutes until the ceremony and tears filled your eyes.

You would get married.

You would become a wife.

You would get your first kiss in front of people you had never met before….

„You need to kiss me,“ you said, before you could stop yourself. He frowned at you, his hands still holding yours against his chest as he looked at you.

„I have no control about anything at the moment. I do not want my first kiss to be in front of all these people. I… Javi please,“ you were about to beg.

You had stayed up all night talking to Javi.

While you still had doubts about if he was telling you the truth at the beginning, they were gone once he began to talk about his love for movies. His eyes sparkled as he told you about his favourite movies, and how his biggest dream was to be a writer.

He also told you more about his family.

About how his father died and even on his deathbed told him what a disappointment Javier had been for him and the family business.

He wanted to leave once his father died, but Lucas would not let him, threatening to kill his then PA and secret love Gabriella. So he stayed. Even when Gabriella left, because he did not know where to go.

You told him about yourself too, but what was there to tell?

You hadn’t seen anything of the world, you had nothing to tell, yet he gave you his full attention with everything you said.

If you were pressured to marry someone, you were glad it was him.

„I need you to kiss me now, here, Javi,“ you said again and he took a deep breath.

He let go of your hand just to bring one of his hands up, resting it on your cheek as he took a step closer.

His eyes closed for a moment as his head tilted down. He took a deep breath as he opened them and it was like everything around you disappeared.

„I’m sorry it has to be like this,“ he whispered as he leaned in.

You licked your lips.

„I’m not,“ you whispered before his lips brushed against yours.

Your eyes slipped close as you allowed yourself to get lost in this kiss. Your very first kiss.

It started soft, Javi clearly not wanting to spook you even more than you were. It was when he felt one of your hands on his shoulders that he allowed himself to deepen the kiss, slowly moving his lips against yours, your hand wandering up to his neck, your fingers playing with the hair in his neck, making him shiver.

Before it could get any further he parted from your lips watching you linger for a moment before you eyes opened to look at him. He smiled softly at you, his fingers brushing over your cheek.

„I know this is not what we wanted, but we only have to get through the rest of this day before we can leave,“ he said.

„Leave where?“ You asked.

He kissed your nose.

„Do you trust me?“ He asked.

And you know you shouldn’t, but you had no one else in your corner.

„I do,“ you nodded.

„Then meet me at the fountain after the reception,“ he said, before he took a step back, giving you one last look, before he walked out of the room.

You were surprisingly relaxed once the big I do’s had been said. You didn’t feel different as a married woman. The whole situation was so surreal to you, you’d probably need weeks if not months to get used to it.

Your state of relaxation could also have to do with the amount of champagne you had already drank, your father already having scolded you twice.

You had to admit that when Javi told him off, you did find the way your father seemed to shrink away from him pretty sexy.

You had just gotten back to your seat when you felt Javi sit down next to you. You were pretty lost without him here, but every time he wanted to come to you, someone had pulled him away.

Smiling you looked at him, your eyes widening when you saw what he had put down in front of you.

„Is that…“

„Lemon Meringue pie, yes. I had the menu changed his morning. You should have something you liked at this wedding, even if it is not what you dreamed of,“ he said, and you felt yourself tear up.

„I never really dreamed of my wedding, or anything really, because I knew I would not get to decide anything,“ you whispered. Javi leaned closer towards you, his hand finding yours.

„Then I want you to start dreaming now,“ he said and before you could stop yourself you had leaned in and kissed him softly, catching him by surprise.

„Thank you Javi,“ you whispered just for him to hear before you turned towards the pie and began to eat it.

You would have forgotten to meet Javi at the fountain if it wasn’t for Javi pulling you away with him.

By now you were beyond tipsy and probably ready for bed.

„I have a surprise,“ he whispered as you walked with him towards the fountain. You had one of your arms wrapped behind his back and he had one wrapped behind you. You were stumbling, so it was him holding you up really.

„You do?“ You asked, he nodded.

Walking around the fountain you could see something behind it the further you walked.

„A helicopter?“ You asked, confused.

„I have a private island in the Maldives. The helicopter would take us to the airport. Your bags have already been packed,“ he said.

You blinked up at him.

„We can just go?“ You asked. He nodded.

„If you do not feel comfortable being alone with me, that is okay. We do not have to leave. Though I think four weeks of what people will see as our honey moon while we get to know each other alone without the prying eyes of the cartel would be better,“ he said, waiting for your answer. Hoping you would say yes to his plan.

You gulped, suddenly wishing you wouldn’t have drank so much.

You surprised Javi yet again, when you jumped into his arms, hugging him closely.

„This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me,“ you mumbled against his neck.

„Then let’s go princesa,“ he whispered.

Waking up with your first hangover ever after you got married, you were confused where you were for a second, your eyes blinking open.

How did you get here?

And where exactly was here?

Sitting yourself up you groaned, your hand flying over your eyes.

Of course you would choose the night of your arranged wedding for your first drunk escapade. You jumped when the door opposite the bed you were laying in opened and Javi’s head took a peek inside the room.

„Oh, you’re awake,“ he said with a warm smile.

You nodded with a groan.

„There is a bottle of water and some painkillers next to you on the table,“ he said and you opened one eye, seeing him grin at you.

„I hope I did not embarrass you,“ you mumbled and he opened the door to walk in. He was dressed in some sweatpants and a shirt, sitting down on the other end of the bed.

„You didn’t,“ he assured you with a glint in his eye, that did not make you believe him. Instead of questioning him, you reached over to grab the bottle of water and the painkiller, chewing them down.

„Where are we?“ You asked once you had drank half of the bottle.

„On a plane. To the Maldives. Though I should have waited to ask you again when you were sober. If you want us to turn around…“

„Oh no. No. I’m quite happy to get away from everything,“ you said and he released a breath.

„Good. Uhm…. There are some clothes in the dresser for you. You…. Did not want to put them on last night,“ he looked away from you. Was he blushing?

„What do you mean I did not want to….“ You carefully lined your blanket, eyes widening when you found that you were only wearing some panties. Alarmed you pulled the blanked under your chin.

„Thank you,“ you squealed out, now pulling the blanked over your head, mortified.

You felt his hand on your ankle, squeezing it through the blanket.

„Breakfast is served if you like to come out,“ he said before you felt the bed dip, a door closing moments later.

You pushed the blanket away from your face, grabbing a pillow to put if over your face and screamed into it.

You swear you could hear a laugh from the next room.

Sighing you pushed the pillow away, sitting yourself up. You would love nothing more than to hide forever in this bed.

But Javi had done something sweet for you. Deep down you were a little scared of having to spend time alone in a place that was not your home right after the wedding.

Getting to spend time alone with Javi somewhere you were alone though?

That sounded like a dream.

And you did remember that he told you to start dreaming.

So that’s what you would do.

Once a day, for more or less thirty minutes Javi had to take a call and excused himself to the office of the villa, leaving you to read your book in peace.

You wanted to ask what these calls were about, but by now you knew Javi well enough that he would tell you if he could.

You wouldn’t even be mad if Javi’s intention for bringing you here, to this little paradise, was to make you fall in love with him.

Not that you knew anything about love.

But your heart beat a little faster when Javi looked at you, or when he took your hand, or kissed you goodnight, before you both went to your own beds in your own rooms.

He cooked for you, he put sunscreen on your back when you relaxed on the beach.

He asked you a billion questions about yourself to get to know you.

And he made you watch every single one of his favourite movies with him.

If you could stay here with him like that forever, you wouldn’t complain.

It was by week two that you searched him out more, touches lingering. You kissed him some times, the kiss never lasting longer than a moment.

You wanted more, but at the same time you weren’t sure you were allowed to want it.

To want him.

But then he smiled at you, or remembered how you took your tea. Every time you felt the scared voice in the back of your head tell you to be cautious you reminded yourself of Javi telling you that you were allowed to dream now.

So around three weeks after you got here, as you finished watching the third lord of the rings movie you kissed him. And as he tried to pull away you chased his lips, your hand coming to brush through his hair, keeping you close.

He still pulled away, his eyes on yours, guarded, looking at you.

„I want you, Javi,“ you whispered and he gulped.

„Are you sure?“ He asked. You had talked about it. He knew you had never been with anyone before.

You nodded.

„I’m not sure if I want to go all the way now but… I want more, Javi,“ you said and he smiled softly at you, his nose brushing against yours.

„I did not think it would be like this,“ he said, letting his forehead fall against yours.

„How?“

„Easy. I did not think it would be so easy to fall in love with you,“ he whispered before he kissed you. You smiled against his lip, slowly sitting yourself up. Nervously you broke the kiss, looking down at Javi as you carefully settled in his lap. He looked at you in awe and you grabbed his hand, putting them on your hips, before you leaned down to kiss him.

You crossed your arms behind his neck and he groaned as you deepened the kiss. You felt him part his lips and you did the same, letting him take lead, because you had no idea what to do. You shivered when he squeezed your hips, pulling you even closer. His tongue dipped into your mouth and you moaned softly. You moved your hips on top of him, gasping when you felt him roll his hips too.

Out of breath you parted from his lips while his wandered down your throat.

„Javi,“ you gasped, your fingers scratching over his scalp.

He stopped kissing you, his lips lingering against your skin.

„Before we get any further I have to tell you something,“ he whispered. He pushed you a little away so he could look at you. Smiling at you, one of his hands came up to rest against your cheek.

„When I found out that I had to marry you I never thought I would actually fall in love with you,“ he said and you leaned into his touch.

„And because of my feelings for you I have to tell you that you have a choice here,“ he said and you frowned.

„What do you mean?“ You asked, confused.

He took a deep breath before he spoke again.

„I started working with the CIA a year ago to help them get the Guttierez cartel. And as of this morning, there is no cartel anymore,“ he said and you blinked at him, processing what he just told you.

„Your family was caught in the crossfire. Your father and all your brother have been taken in custody together with my family,“ he said and you nodded slowly, still processing.

„So that means, you are free,“ he smiled at you.

„What does that mean?“ You asked.

„It means, you get to make your own choices,“ he took a deep breath, „It means that you don’t have to stayed married to me if you don’t want,“ he said quietly.

„You’re very young, my love. If you want to get out and make your own experiences, no one is stopping you. You could study, you could travel, you could buy your own island and live there forever…“ he grinned.

„Can’t I do all of that with you by my side?“ You asked.

„If you want to. All I want to say is, you are not obligated to stay married to me. Because there will be no consequences if you chose to not want to anymore. Only what you want matters,“ he said.

You were still processing.

„I am saying that if you want to get married, you should do it, because you are in love with the person, and not because you were pressured to do so,“ he said.

„But what if I am in love with you?“ You asked. The smile he gave you was almost blinding.

„Then I will be with you every single step of the way as long as you let me, my love,“ he said.

„Okay,“ you smiled softly at him.

„Okay?“ He asked, you nodded.

„I want to stay longer here, if we can,“ you said and he nodded.

„Done,“ he grinned.

„And I want you to take me to your bed,“ you sucked your bottom lip in.

„Now?“ He raised one of his eyebrows.

You nodded.

„Now,“ you whispered.

Two years later

„We are gonna be late, Javi,“ you giggled, your hands on the sides of his face as he kissed all over your face.

„Can’t be late to our own wedding,“ he shrugged and you giggled again.

„Javviiiiiii!“ You laughed, when he began to tickle your sides.

„Okay Okay Okay,“ he sighed in mock surrender, pushing himself up from the bed, before he held his hand out to help you up.

„Ready to marry me again?“ He asked as you walked out of the room and directly on the beach that would lead down to the ocean where a minister would be waiting for you.

„Ready to actually mean it this time,“ you winked, squealing when he pulled you against his chest, kissing you hard.

„Love you,“ he mumbled against your lips.

„Love you too,“ you mumbled back, letting him lead you down to the ocean.

Ready for a fresh start in a new country with a new job, but with the men you against all odds fell in love with.

#my fic #javi gutierrez #javi gutierrez x fem. reader #javi g #javier gutierrez #pedro pascal #fanfiction #fanfic #fan fiction

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