#lowkey also a merc girl now

[sainzcaleruega]

I need someone to talk to me about how hot mick is <3

[speedingkamori]

hi!! saw in ur rules u write for yandere content👀 if ur down for it, could you write for yandere scout?? lowkey obsessed w ur jealous fic so maybe you could piggy back off that?? just a though?? thank you !!! -🐌

Bandages | Yandere!Scout x reader

Unofficial sequel to: jealousy

Warnings: obviously yandere (possessiveness, extreme jealousy, anger, maybe a little bit of gaslighting… etc), SLIGHT medic x reader if you squint.., not proof read and probably not very good ;-;

I’m glad someone liked it lolol I mentioned before that I haven’t written anything in foreverrr and am very rusty- especially when it comes to things that aren’t fluff @_@ Also SO so sorry for the wait, genuinely did not mean to take this long ugh </3

Scout was ecstatic- over the moon! Now that you we’re finally his, things we’re starting to look up. For the longest time he was being eaten alive by his own unrequited love, sinking deeper into this sickening feeling he had in his gut every time he saw you- but now you belonged to him! He finally had you!

You’d been together for a little while at this point and he expected this awful feeling to go away once he had settled into your new relationship, but to his surprise it was only getting worse.

He felt his stomach drop anytime he saw you talking with any of the other mercs. The way they patted your back when you did good out on the field, the way you’d laugh when they told some stupid joke. God, it was disgusting.

After a particularly tough mission he watched as the medic pulled you into his office, gently tending to your wounds.

“You’re really banged up…” Medic remarked, a small chuckle slipping from his lips. “Not to worry, you’re in good hands!” He had his usual crazed smile as he tended to you.

Scout couldn’t take it anymore and cleared his throat to announce his presence.

“Is all that really necessary, Doc?” He huffed, leaning in the door way.

Medic was a bit taken aback by his questioning, but before he could answer you stepped in, excited to see your boyfriend after such a hard battle.

“Jer!” You smiled excitedly. “You came to check on me? Do you care about me or something?” You teased as he let himself into medics office, wrapping an arm around a bit too tightly.

“Course I did, I was worried sick. Glad to see you’re holding up okay.” He wasn’t lying entirely. He knew you’d be fine, what really worried him was you being alone with Medic. I’m his mind everyone wanted you to themselves the same way he did, he had to make sure they didn’t try and take you away.

“You ready to get outta here?” He asked the question as if you weren’t receiving medical treatment. You turned back to Medic, giving him a nervous, but sympathetic smile.

He rolled his eyes, sighing at your antics. “Young love.” He remarked. “Ja, I suppose you’re good to go- just take it easy for the next couple days.”

“Thanks, doc!” You jumped down from the desk excitedly. “You’re the best.”

That set something off inside Scout, he clenched his fist tightly as he felt this rage bubbling up inside him. You grabbed his hand, temporarily snapping him out of his trance as you lead him out of the office. The door shut behind you and he stopped in his tracks, his hand slipping from yours.

“Aw- sorry doll, there’s somethin’ I need to talk to Medic about…” he pressed a firm kiss to your temple that seemed to linger a bit longer than normal. “Why don’t you head back to my room and relax a little bit, I’ll meat you there soon alright?”

You smiled up at him, nodding your head as you toddled off. It was pretty late and you were tired, you had 0 issue getting all comfortable in bed.

Once you were out of sight his sweet expression fell as he re-entered the medical wing.

“Hey, Doc.” He spat. “I gotta bone to pick with you.”

Medic looked up from the supplies he was cleaning up. He sighed in annoyance, not wanting to deal with Scouts shenanigans.

“Alright, but make it quick.”

“I don’t like the way you keep feelin’ up my girl.” He hissed. “I see the way you look at her, but she’s with me! So back off.”

Medic couldn’t help but laugh. “You can’t be serious…” he looked down at Scout, seeing the anger in his eyes, he sighed again and rested his hand on the younger man’s shoulder. “Look, I understand, you are jealous and insecure-“

Scout slapped his hand away, grabbing him by the collar.

“This ain’t about me! This is about you.” He snarled. “I’m tellin’ you nicely to back off, this’ll be your only warning. Don’t make me get ugly.”

“Du bist ein verlorener Fall…” Medic pushed Scout off, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Alright, fine. I’ll- I’ll back off.” He wasn’t taking Scout very seriously at all but he was honestly too tired to deal with any of this. Despite this, this was a satisfactory answer for Scout and he seemed to let up a bit.

“Glad we have an understanding…” he huffed. Without another word he turned and left quick.

Medic watched him leave, shaking his head disapprovingly. “There’s something wrong with that boy…” he remarked to himself.

Scout walked away with his heart pounding on his chest, still a bit angry from the perceived competition. In his mind it was obvious that everyone wanted a piece of you- I mean how could they not? You were perfect!

He paced back and forth outside his own door- he knew you were in there waiting for him. He was mulling over every detail, trying to figure out exactly what to say to you. He had to keep you no matter what, he couldn’t let anybody else get in the way. He sighed, relenting as he finally entered.

“Hey dollface. Ya miss me?”

You were obviously excited to see him again and quickly pulled him in, placing a kiss to his cheek.

“Course I did.” You smiled.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to take so long I just-“ he stopped himself, thinking for a moment before he let out a small sigh. “I got to talkin’ with Medic and I guess I just got wrapped up in everything…”

“What’d you talk to him about?” You asked it so innocently, not realizing you had taken the bait he set out.

“Just checkin’ up on an injury from awhile back- no biggie.” He shrugged a bit, scrunching up his nose. “But he made a few weird comments about you after you left and- I mean I couldn’t just ignore that.”

You seemed a bit taken aback, your expression immediately falling. Sure, he was a bit eccentric but Medic had never once made you feel uncomfortable.

“What? What kinda stuff did he say?” You laugh nervously, hoping it wasn’t anything bad. Scout say you down on the bed and began to tell you all the uncomfortable remarks the doctor had made. He held your hands tight and said everything so earnestly- you had no reason not to believe him. He had never given you a single reason to doubt him.

“Of course I had to speak up, I mean, I’m not just gonna let this creep disrespect my girl…” he pinched your cheek a little, in an attempt to make you feel better or lighten the mood.

“Thanks, Jeremy.” You let out a heavy sigh, hanging your head. “I-I don’t even know what to say…”

“Hey, you don’t gotta say anything.” He reassured you, pulling you into a tight hug. “I’ve dealt with it. You don’t gotta worry about him no more… if you want next time you get hauled in there, I’ll come with- keep watch and make sure he doesn’t try nothing.”

“You’d really do that for me?” You asked quietly.

“You kiddin’? ‘Course I would!” He held on to you tighter, running his hand up and down your back gently. “I’d do anything to make sure you’re safe…”

You laughed softly. “Thanks Jer. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Apart of him felt guilty, for slandering Medic the way that he did. But it was all for you, right? He had to do whatever it took to keep you safe, even at the expense of the other mercs.

[httpiastri]

abt the red flag topic I remember when I remembered pauls existence bc of ollie and checked his ig (little did i knew what that would turn out) and I saw the amount of women he follows (including Victoria Secret's account) and IMMEDIATELY thought jesus christ thank god im not obsessed w this one LMAOOOO look at me now !!!

I really think he's a player who KNOWS how to talk with women bla bla bla and doesn't actually want to get into a relationship rn, hes just having his fun around bla bla bla but I also like to think abt him unexpectedly doing something w the intention of being just a hook up and noticing that theres something wrong, hes feeling different etc etc etc or like meeting someone that is actually a worst player than him

thats the main reason why I love to imagine popstar!reader w him unexpectedly being hit by cupid's arrow, really thinking he could hook up with miss america's sweetheart and leave without any emotional damage 👀👀 and also like for the first time in his life not knowing how to act bc ok he wants it again but hes not dealing with a random person

plsss 😭😭 it's always the ones you think you wont fall for, huh? at first i was very "no im not gonna like paul, he's dino's teammate and the day i get forced to pick sides it will be too hard" but then….. 🫠

100% agreed tho, i hope he's just out there living his best life (or in a steady 5-year relationship if that's what he wants, i dont mind either one). but omfg you're SO right !!! pls that adds such a cute new angle to it, like them spending one night together and afterwards paul is like… woah…. he's used to just forgetting about the girl, not waking up next to her and feeling lowkey giddy 😳

and he's also used to just being used for sex yk, like it's not that she's the biggest celeb that he's ever met so he knows what it's like to just be left by a girl who then doesn't want anything to do with him again. but y/n wasnt like that…. it's the way that she managed to get his phone number from someone in merc, the way that she texts him every once in a while about his races, and the way that paul finds himself wishing she's going to be at the next weekend….

he's just really not expecting to feel like this; he's barely (or not even) 20, he's always been telling himself to steer clear of relationships and anything other than hookups because it will mess with his head and he'll be distracted from his racing. but now that his mind is on her like 24/7, he finds himself actually enjoying it…

[house-ofhope]

8, 19, 23, 29 for fenric and zalith :))

omg jay <3 ty for the asks!! these were very fun questions

8. Did they romance anyone? Who's the lucky companion(s)?

Fenric: Yeeeees and it's Astarion. They are a chaotic little duo and the rest of the camp lowkey finds it rather annoying when they try to outfox each other but it's all in the spirit of romance <3 Zalith: Gale <3 though Wyll did catch some feelings there. Zal just has this natural gravity that pulls people in despite them not being aware of it. Because deep down they've got a good heart.

19. When talking to people, which sort of answers do they go for? Eager to help, sassy and sarcastic, apathetic?

Fenric: Mmm sarcastic to the max. Mx. Devil's Advocate, Mx. Steal Yo Girl. Will go from hot to cold based on what they ate for lunch that day. Zalith: Is more apathetic, but easily gives in to offer help. They have more pressing matters to deal with but can't ignore people in need. Their conversations are rather succinct because they're just trying to move on with their day.

23. Did your Tav's dream visitor manifest as anyone in particular, or someone random that they've never seen before?

Fenric: Just some random guy they thought was hot like a century ago LMAO Zalith: Ok... honestly I didn't know how I wanted to design the Guardian before I started Zal's run, but now that I've spent more time with them, their dream visitor looks like their mother actually. They've been very distrustful of their little guest from the beginning, and part of it is some deeply harbored ill emotions that have for their mother leaving. They've basically been doing the opposite of everything the Guardian has told them to do. And Zal does their best to be civil but the more time the visitor pops up, the more annoyed and curt they get with the visitor.

29. After Baldur's Gate is saved, what will your Tav do?

Fenric: Fen likely decides they've had enough of the pact after tasting freedom with the tadpole, so they're dead set on figures out how to get out of the pact. Also, I do like the idea floating around of finding the Ring of the Sun-Walker for Astarion. So they both set out on another adventure to find the answers to their quests together. Zalith: Zal would set out to right their wrongs. It's been a few months since being attacked in Baldur's Gate by those mercs and losing track of Symon... though they have been doing their own investigation into his whereabouts since they returned to the city. Gale helps them--he'd follow Zal anywhere--and they both make their way back to the viscounty so that Zalith can get closure. Afterwards, they both settle down in Waterdeep... Zal as a member of the Dekarios clan :')

if anyone wants to reblog the question list... here it is!

[the-whispers-of-death]

why did you do this to me? now the oc thoughts are thoughting and i can't stop them

anyway

i think if Stone (a medic) met Johan (a "medic") i don't think they'd get along. i feel like Johan would have Stones hackles raising and paranoia spiking because he has this :} type smile but much more sinister like Stone, a man that doesn't smile meets a man that is constantly going :) in the most threatening way (that's not to mention Johans lack of morals. the man lost his lisence to medical malpractice for the sake of "curiosity" and has participated in human experimenting) i just feel like they wouldn't get along

now who Stone would get along with is Void. in his "after" Void actually goes to university to study astronomy so stars would be a common interest even with the dificulty in communication. he would also semi get along with Hazzard due to their like of animals. Hazzard is still a hater (no like seriously man lowkey highkey wants all of humanity dead, except him and his two people, but Romanas keeps thar side of Hazzard a secret and doesn't let that man be a hater out loud) but he would still respect his love for cats and teach him where the best places to scratch are so a cat would fall in love with you.

Romanas i feel could get along with anyone because he's an adaptable guy and can find common ground with most people. he would have problems with people who have really extreme views or extreme views that are opposite of his own extreme views (he can get nasty if he's passionate about something and people oppose it but he tries to not get into things like that for the sake of keeping peace)

now onto stone variants

if Selga ever met feral Stone he would be scared of him 100% percent. despite Selgas decent size and good strength he is rather emaciated and traumatized to the point of loosing intelligence (not to say he's stupid but lemme explain). while (to my understanding) feral Stone is still intelligent and verbal or semi verbal (correct me if im wrong) Selga just isn't. his "human" intelligence is very low and he's entirely non verbal (the most he can manage are half choked half sounds/half words, growls, hisses and other animal sounds). it's like an animal was given a slight brain boost and given a human shaped mech to pilot so if Selga (who is smaller and thinner than Stone) ever met feral Stone he'd react in fear-aggression. teeth bared, back arched (you can see his spine and ribs when he does that. Romanas and Boss are loosing hair and braincells trying to keep him healthy and well fed once Boss takes over the group). if any team mate was around Selga is glued to them and stand in front of them to "protect" them from feral Stone (if they faught Selga would put up a good fight but Stone would overpower him with weight alone. now if Selga was fully healed and in better mental condition that would be a whole different story)

Vaccine and Dartboard would try to goad feral Stone into play wrestling with them. they would nibble on him a little just to tease.

Diana would be a regular at baker Stones bakery for coffee and pastries for her and Johan (both have an insane sweet tooth)

Boss would take one look at Grim Reaper Stone and go "oh no.... that's a son that needs to be adopted" and would end up taming him like he tamed the rest of the merc group

DO NOT AND I REPEAT DO NOT LET JOHAN SEE EXPERIMENT STONE THAT MAN WOULD HAVE SPARKLY EYES AND THE MOST DIABOLICAL IDEAS AND QUESTIONS FOR POOR STONE JUST KEEP YOUR MANS SAFE TRUST ME ON THIS ONE

if Void was a few years younger (he's 19 in the "now") he would go to school with Saira and probably meet girl dad Stone. good thing that Void is actually very polite and friendly if a little strange. he doesn't make messes, doesn't antagonize people and always cleans up after himself (dad Stone also gets to meet Hazzard and Romanas because there's an "inside joke" in the group that they are Voids parents and in the "after" they all live together in one house)

vampire Stone would/should meet with blood homunculus Romanas (it's what he is in a monster au. either that or some eldritch monstrosity also blood related. i have a whole thing for a monster au) because Romanas could probably provide infinite blood (he needs to drain an entire creature of any kind to sustain himself but he doesn't need to do it often and any blood ingested is automatically turned into "human" blood)

werewolf Stone meeting mutated werewolf Hazzard would be interesting since Hazzards wolf form is kinda fucked up due to radiation. he's like thrice the size of a normal werewolf, teeth long and sharp, sometimes cutting through his lips and piercing the flesh of his jaw, radioactive drool spilling from his maw, spikes along his back, massive claws loaded with radioactive toxins. (that's all while he's in wolf form) despite all that Hazzard is pretty chill and wouldn't go attacking all willy nilly (hell if it wasn't so dangerous he would even play with pups but he can't without it being potentially dangerous :( )

Vendetta doesn't actually belong to the merc group. they're more of a solo act but they follow Romanas due to... circumstances. so it's a killer for hire working for other killers for hire

idk about criminal Stone or serial killer Stone. with criminal it's most likely that Romanas (or another oc simply known as "D") is a friend of mafia boss and is like a brother to him so that's how they meet.

Serial killer idk. someone from the merc group would try and recruit him but i bet he'd decline because mercs and morals don't mix all that well

i don't think any of your ocs would be that scared of any of mine (except maybe for Johan. and they'd have qualms about the LITERAL CANNIBALS the merc group had around. i bet they'd have some questions about wtf happened to Selga and wtf is up with Void)

hdjfgdidod i have a few more ocs that i forgot to introduce to you but i'll do it later my brain is rotting

First, I wanna know why Tumblr didn't notify me that I got this ask. SMH.

Second of all, yeah, Stone and Johan would not get along at all. Stone hates people who smile so much, he's so suspicious of people like that. He understands why that man got his medical license provoked and he's thinking about running far away from Johan as possible. His paranoia either makes him want to fight and kill or run, and in the case he'd rather run.

Stone actually has gone non-verbal in some situations, so he does know sign language. But it's American Sign Language. So if Void doesn't know that... Well, they could always communicate via a notepad, right?

He'd respect Hazzard not liking most people. He'd respectfully stay away because he's secretly polite like that.

I can't see a reason why Romanas and Stone wouldn't get along, so I'm assuming they're going to get along.

Feral!Stone is semi verbal, but he much prefers growling and snarling to communicate. Yeah, he'd see Selga as a threat. In that same respect, Vaccine and Dartboard might not want to play wrestle with him because while they might nibble on him, he might just straight-up take chunks out of them.

Baker!Stone would enjoy having Diana come into his bakery. He'd be happy to sell her any pastry she wants.

Grim Reaper!Stone would cry if Boss called him "son". Like yes, hello, teach me how to be my own person, please and thank you. He'd be Boss's now, no getting rid of him.

Experiment!Stone is running away from Johan just like how Canon!Stone but unfortunately for Canon!Stone, Experiment!Stone is faster and he will not be picking up Canon!Stone to help him escape Johan.

Girl Dad!Stone would enjoy Void. He'd be like "Can I adopt you?" Someone better stop this man from stealing Void from the team because he'd see a child that was just like how he was and he'd want to give him a happier life.

Vampire!Stone would absolutely love Romanas if Romanas provided him with infinite blood. He's a big boy so he needs a lot of blood.

Werewolf!Stone staring at mutated werewolf Hazzard and being like "I know he hates people, but would he kill me if I courted him??" Man needs to know when not to court someone.

If Romanas is someone who is close to the mafia boss and thus the mafia boss really likes him, Criminal!Stone will do everything in his power to protect him. He wants the mafia boss to be happy, always.

Serial Killer!Stone is staring at Johan (aka messed up morals man) and is like "I have to kill him." But yeah, he has too high morals to become a mercenary. Instead of running away like the other Stones, Serial Killer!Stone is running towards Johan because he will not back down when it comes to wiping people who have fucked up morals off the planet.

[scoutsurge]

We need a list, your favorite to least favorite merc?

doing asks again <3 but just for now just ones i can answer like this since i feel like the being artblock/burnout?? Also this might be long so SORRY-

Anyways I can't think of any least! I love all the mercs, their fun!!! In the drawing and fandom sense, I dont have a least favourite But! in the gaming sense when it comes to class I'd go like this from who i play as and how well i can use em and how fun they are!

Drawing --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gaming 1 Scout First of all, obviously I like being a faster class, and that double jump? *mwa* chefs kiss I love being able to move in games- so scout being a quick class and hes just my baby girl, Love him, hes my number 1 I don't get many kills! Though when i do i feel awesome :3 just as will any class Also- I try not to be that 'scout takes all the health packs' BUT FUCKIN When i was a F2P YOU CAN'T CALL MEDIC I WAS DYING OUT THEIR but lowkey, kinda scared to call medic as a scout, no idea why, so i only try to take health packs when i really need it, and then feel bad when i see a medic come around- --------------------------------------- 2 Pyro One of the classes i actually can get decent kills on, spraying everybody Fun class, Pyro is just a goofy thing <3

--------------------------------------- 3 Demoman I can't like do those really cool bomb jumps or like- any of those typa jumps. AT ALL. i feel ashamed/hj BUT! i can blow shit up so Demo is my top 3rd and also cause these three ive played the most ---------------------------------------

4 Medic! Hes great! I like being a helpful teammate, I don't think ive pocketed anyone? WAIT no I pocketed this one guy i played with while streaming, he also pocketed me :> Hes cool but i havent spoken to him in a while-

Now onto classes i dont play as too much cause im stupid and honestly kinda shit at playing as them- ---------------------------------------

5 engineer Awesome class gotta give it that But i straight up went into playing most of the classes blind so i had no idea what any of the controls did as engi YIPPEE KAY YA Awesome fellow <3 just not my type to play

--------------------------------------- 6 Soldier Fella's, I gotta hand it to ya, if you can rocket jump, your awesome <3 if not still you're awesome <3 I can't do that if my life depended on it. Blowin up more shittt YAEAHHH ---------------------------------------

7 Heavy. I praise yall who play heavy cause how. I have the shittest reaction time when i play as him, can't shoot fast enough <3 and slow- sorry im sorry <3 IM NOT TRYING TO SHIT ON THE CLASSES AT ALL BTW Its just- not my typa guy </3

---------------------------------------

8 Spy Haven't played him enough to get a feel for it, I only played as him in a community map that i fucked around in with a mate of mine </3 but i think hes cool, I like sneaky classes, Maybe i'll give him more of the spot light ---------------------------------------

9 Sniper. Im sorry, my aims shit enough as it is and now you give me a sniper rifle? might as well jump off a cliff cause i will be no help- I can't even land my shots as a scout now as a sniper? nope, and also from experience from other games, im not really a sniper person- Im sure hes fun! but as you can see, I haven't played enough as him to really give him a chance- sorry piss man </3

[racingliners]

F1 Re-Watch 2013: Round 2 - Malaysia

Happy Multi-21 Day to all who celebrate!!

Fun fact about me, I’ve never watched Malaysia 2013 in full. Until today. 

For all the newbies who started following me over the winter break, my abridged F1 story is that I grew up watching F1 with my Dad, then stopped when he passed away in 2007, then started watch it again mid-way through 2013 thanks to one of my high school friends. The first race I watched after my hiatus was Spain, then due to the BBC rights deal where they only had half the races live, the next race I saw after that was Canada. Which Seb won, and I felt bad that people were booing him, so I decided to start supporting him as a result.

I was filled in on the whole Multi-21 drama later, and have since seen the highlight reel in my 2013 season review DVD. But in honour of the race’s tenth anniversary, I’m watching the race in full. So, this may or may not be agonising (live blog under a read more to avoid clogging up your dashes!)

Worth adding, I’m not going to discuss in detail who was right or wrong or whatever, this is simply a record of me watching the Great Red Bull Civil War of March 2013. (with snacks to stress eat obvs)

This liveblog is once again brought to you by F1 TV Access, truly one of the best purchases I’ve made all year.

Anyway I’ve put my big girl trousers on and pressed play and THE OLD F1 INTRO I MISS YOU SO. Proper core memory right there.

Also also Sepang is a banging circuit and I miss her :(

It rained half an hour before the race???? oh jeez

Seb on pole, about to go and commit crimes

AHHHH JENSON!!!!

also remember when Checo drove for McLaren??? wild times.

I do really want to re-watch the 2013 season in full since there’s races from the first half of the season I missed, but that’s for a later day today is dedicated to the drama

Helmet watch: Seb’s blue chrome helmet is super pretty

[Formation Lap]: Everyone on inters bc of the aforementioned rain. Malaysia 2013 really was going for the That Bitch title of 2013.

ayyyy Toto sighting

“This should be a cracking motor race” Oh Brundle, if only you knew what was about to unfold

[Start/Lap 1]: Seb keeps P1, Mark into P2 bc Fernando got a little too frisky

oh rip Fernando’s front wing

Jenson into P5. Yeah that feels good.

Fernando re-took P2, I don’t think he knows half his front wing his hanging off.

[Lap 2]: Oop there she breaks.

Ah, not telling your driver they have a broken front wing. Just Ferrari things.

[Lap 3]: Did not notice Lewis getting up into P3 as a result of Fernando’s DNF.

Meanwhile Rosberg and Jenson are having a little fistfight. Nico won P4.

The supposedly fun part of watching this race for the first time is that I know exactly what happens between Seb and Mark, I just have no idea when. It’s like jaws and a jack in the box combined.

oh man I do not miss the old graphics of having the grid on the bottom of the screen, and waiting for your driver to come back up and hoping they were in the same place

[Lap 5]: ROCKY!!!!!!

Rocky team radio, feels good feels organic. (Don’t make me pick a favourite Seb engineer I love them all equally)

oh Kimi’s gone rallying on the apex of one of the corners.

[Lap 6]: Seb pits for mediums! First onto the dry tyres

oh jeez he just lost three places between corners bc of how slippery the track still is

[Lap 7]: RBR: Mark stay out it’s too wet in sector 1!! Meanwhile 5 or 6 cars come into the pits for slicks

Seb up into P7, which becomes P6 as Lewis pits.

dfaeguighush Lewis drove into the McLaren pit box 🤣

I lowkey love it when drivers do that

“Felipe Massa is now the fastest man on track” 2010s F1 intensifies 

Live Nicole Scherzinger reaction to Lewis’ pitstop

[Lap 8]: Hiiiiii Bono!!!

Gotta take all the nice crumbs before the race turns round and stabs me

[Lap 10]: oh wow James Vowels was already head of Merc strategy at this point.

[Lap 11]: ANYWAY, after the pitstop shuffle Mark is in P1 on hards, Seb in P2 on Mediums. I’m anxious.

The race has calmed down now it’s dry but I am not calm as I’m now waiting for the jump scare to happen.

[Lap 12]: Meanwhile Lewis is a second faster a lap than Webber. Drama.

Rosberg sets the fastest lap, while munching on popcorn probably.

“They’re telling Webber he will not be challenged from behind by Sebastian” Oh. Oh no. It’s coming.

It’s only Lap 14

*chuckles* I’m in danger

[Lap 15]: Rosberg continuing to set fastest laps. Mostly unbothered.

Mark is 2.2 secs ahead of Seb who’s 2.1 ahead of Lewis.

I’ve also finished my snacks.

[Lap 16]: And Kimi gets past Perez for P9.

Aaaand a Romain Grosjean fastest lap.

[Lap 17]: Still all quiet on the Red Bull front. I’m still anxious.

I’m pretty sure there’s one maybe two more rounds of pit stops to go

Seb’s now 2.5 seconds behind Mark and 2.7 ahead of Lewis.

[Lap 18]: Livery watch: as much as I’m a black Merc apologist, I miss the silver livery with Petronas green sidepods, it’s soooo pretty

Back in the good old days when team could actually have full liveries and there wasn’t all the exposed carbon nonsense we have now :)

[Lap 19]: “Paul needs to establish himself” Don’t worry Brundle he’ll be your colleague at Sky in a few years

[Lap 20]: And Mark pits for mediums.

Imagine telling an F1 fan in 2023 that Mark only did 11 laps on a set of hards at a race in 2013, there certainly is something to be said for Pirelli I’m just not sure what.

[Lap 22]: And Lewis makes his second stop for more mediums. He drove into the proper pit box.

[Lap 23]: Seb pits for hards! He stays in P2.

Still no signs of violence yet.

Meanwhile Jenson is still in P5!!!

“They [McLaren] can see bright skies on the horizon, and challenge Ferrari in China” yeah lol that didn’t happen. 

[Lap 24]: “3 second gap, save your tyres” Seb is two seconds behind Mark dfvdsvsgig

[Lap 25]: “If he’s saving his tyres he’s producing a muck quicker lap time with it” Seb’s barely a second behind Mark at this point I’M VERY ANXIOUS

[Lap 26]: The gap between the RBRs is 6 tenths of a second. Mum please pick me up I’m scared.

Meanwhile Lewis is just over a second behind Seb.

Rocky telling Seb to save his tyres, I don’t think he’s listening.

1.8 seconds covering the top 3 cars. oh boy.

[Lap 27]: Seb still 6 tenths behind Mark. *distressed yelling*

If there’s a big gap between laps it’s because I have my hands over my face in distress.

[Lap 28]: Jenson still in P5!!!

“Mark is too slow, get him out of the way” oop there’s Bastard Seb.

Gap now up to 1.4 seconds.

*half race distance klaxon*

Jenson in P5 while all of this is unfolding, an unbothered King.

[Lap 31]: Lewis makes his third and I’m guessing final stop for Mediums

“Look at Nico Rosberg” Must I?

[Lap 32]: Mark now in for his final stop for hards

JENSON IN P2 STOP THE RACE!!!

“The biscuit barrel is not just full of custard creams” Crofty???? That was meant to be an analogy about teams doing different strategies but I really don’t know man.

[Lap 33]: Seb pits for hards. And he’s in P4 behind Lewis now and barely in front of Rosberg.

JENSON’S LEADING!!! STOP! THE! RACE!

[Lap 34]: Lewis already being told to lift and coast to save fuel. oop.

“Button leads” INJECT IT!!!!!

Malaysia 2013 giveth and Malaysian 2013 about to taketh away.

[Lap 35]: And Mark gets past Jenson into turn 2

Hulkenberg and Kimi racing each other coming out of the pitlane svheghaeugh

And Jenson pits. It was very fun while it lasted.

NOOOOOO unsafe release his tyres aren’t properly on 😭

[Lap 36]: Oh yeah Ross Brawn was Merc TP in 2013, I always forget that. Toto joined Merc as his deputy I think before taking over in 2014.

[Lap 38]: “Sebastian Vettel the meat in the Mercedes sandwich” fic writers start taking notes

 Meanwhile Hulkenberg and Kimi are still fist fighting over 8th and 9th

[Lap 39]: Seb up into P2.

[Lap 40]: “Sebastian Vettel has just reduced the advantage Mark Webber has by 8 tenths” There’s jaws music playing my head now fwiw.

Niki sighting ❤️

[Lap 41]: Now Rosberg is closing up to Lewis for a double serving of teammate on teammate violence

[Lap 42]: Oh Lewis pits again, that’s a fourth stop

Man if a driver has a four stop race in 2023 they’ve had a shit show but it seems perfectly normal aeogvaheoh

Meanwhile Seb is still catching Mark

[Lap 43]: And Seb also pits again for Medums, as does Rosberg. Seb stays P2 and Rosberg stays P4.

Livery watch: the glossy soft metallic blue with the purple accents is the superior RBR livery change my mind.

[Lap 44]: And Mark pits for hards.

And he barely came out the pits in front of Seb.

ahhhhhhhhh I think we’re in violence territory.

HELP

[Lap 45]: The gap between them is about half a second dvbaheuhs

(For anyone wanting to watch the race back for whatever reasons, the Civil War starts at around 1hr 26mins)

Presidential alert THE MERCS ARE FIGHTIIIIIIIING

and cut to mildly distressed Merc mechanics

Love that the internal Merc drama was completely overshadowed by Seb and Mark, truly no one was doing it like them

[Lap 46]: AH SHIT SEB AND MARK ARE WHEEL TO WHEEL

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Seb into P1. idk if there’s actually been the Multi 21 call yet. bc comms aren’t calling for Seb’s head as of yet.

Man that replay is yeah... violence

[Lap 47]: oop yellow flag, fits the mood perfectly.

Oh it was for Maldonado.

Live Adrian Newey Reaction.

and Live Ross Brawn reaction to the Merc on Merc violence.

[Lap 48]: Wait this race was on Ted’s birthday??? HBD TED!!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

[Lap 49]: Still no Multi-21 name drop... was this something that came out after the race??? bc I’m sure there’s an actual Multi-21 radio message.

“Pastor Maldonado with an attack of the gravel rash” Thanks Crofty.

[Lap 50]: Massa passes Kimi for 6th

Yeah Seb’s 4 secs ahead of Mark now so surely that’s it????

so where’s the drama???

I can’t have zoned out bc comms would have yelled if Seb got past

[Lap 51]: Oh Rosberg asked to get past Lewis and Ross Brawn straight up said no. oof.

[Lap 52]: Yeah comms are dissecting the Merc drama but not Seb and Mark so I think they didn’t hear the Multi-21 radio call aeughaeuhg

Oh I wish that were me

[Lap 54]: Man Nico and Lewis are still nose to tail it’s like the precursor to 2014-16

Was there something in the water at Malaysia or did the racing gods just wake up and choose violence

Ted sounds so sad about Jenson’s mechanical DNF, a whole mood

[Lap 55]: Seb a whole six and a bit seconds ahead of Webber.

Perez pits????

Oh he had a 30 second gap to P10 nvm

Rosberg is still around half a second behind Lewis. Britney be bitching.

[Lap 56]: Will Lewis have the fuel to finish the race though???

[Finish]: SEB WINS. IT’S OVER.

Lewis P3, Rosberg P4. Cut to some eerily silent RBR and Merc pitwalls.

I don’t think Crofty knows about the Multi-21 message he hasn’t said anything about it.

😳

Did I zone out and miss it?????

Yeah Crofty thinks RBR are mad because Mark and Seb nearly took each other out not bc of the Multi-21 call OH BOY

Oop here’s the cool down room.

Bastard Seb is hot. sorry not sorry.

dbshbuhgru Seb and Adrian just chatting tyres. Still no Mark yet.

I’m watching this with very nervous laughter.

“Multi-21 Seb, Multi-21″ OOP THERE IT IS.

There’s so much tension in the cool down room it has its own gravitational pull.

ah the German anthem my beloved. 

The Austrian anthem my belothed. 

There is not a single smiling driver on that podium this is so awkward aevheugh

Okay there’s one (1) thrilled Merc mechanic, good for him!

“But was he [Seb] told to hold station?” Yeah they didn’t play the Multi-21 radio during the race.

God this is the most awkward champagne spray I’ve ever seen.

The drivers left the podium aeiihgaeghs

Oh they’re back.

Mark flung away his podium cap into the crowd jeeeeez

Tag yourself I’m Brundle trying to fill the conversation with fluff bc he can pick up the awkward tension a mile off

“It was very close wheel to wheel racing” YOU DON’T SAY SEB

Mark meanwhile looks seething. 

“So you were surprised when he came passed you” YOU’RE TELLING ME BRUNDLE DIDN’T KNOW UNTIL THE PODIUM INTERVIEW ABOUT THE MULTI-21 CALL????????

Welcome to F1 the drama never stops.

Live Nicole Scherzinger reaction 2

Lewis saying nice things about Nico. That feels weird post-2016.

Well. That happened. ngl it felt less stressful knowing that they seemingly didn’t play the Multi-21 radio call on the global feed. Honestly the actual race itself was pretty dull until the RBR/Merc infighting.

Still I’m going to got for a lie down now.

[cage-cat-yt]

Hey so I feel like I haven't rlly directly interacted w u in a while, so how r u? everything alright, any big things coming up, etc?

Also, who r ur blorblos, scrimblos and skrunklies? (yes they're different lol)

Hello!!! It's alright, I haven't reached out either much. I'm doing ok right now, anxiety and mood swings make my mental health silly sometimes though.

And I'm not sure what the differences between blorblos, scrimblos, and skrunklies are, but my main comfort characters right now thst I think about the most are are

Goofy gang (Medic, Mirror Man, Jack Walten, Spamton, Tony the clock, and Drunk Guy)

The tf2 mercs

The whole tlt cast

Jack Stauber's Opal cast

My ocs (that be fandom or Josef and Sauer)

Goosebumps dummies

Lewis Pepper

Cubone, Sobble, and Banette

Most of twf cast, tho mostly Rosemary, Felix, Susan, Brian, and Sophie

The fun gang in Deltarune

Jevil

Spinel and Peridot

Atla cast, mainly Toph and Uncle Iroh tho

Toy, og, and withered aminatronics in fnaf

Tho characters I'm brainrotting over atm are

Goofy gang characters, especially Drunk Guy and Jack Walten rn

Ddlc girls (tho I actually dislike the series for how insensitive it handles self harm)

Cain Sephtis (oc)

My ocs for my series inspired by why did I say okie dokie by Stupendium, tho mostly for Lilin (I don't think I've shared art of her)

Tesla in tlt

Then characters I kin for are

Uncle Iroh

Spinel

Fred Jones (mystery inc)

Zero_One

Spamton

My oc Sauer

Sobble

My tf2 oc Nurse

Lowkey Drunk Guy but like REALLY lowkey

Sorry if this isn't what you wanted but I hope yoy like my rambles anyway ^^

[gwaaaaar]

sHATTERS CUP ON WALL

spoilers for aesop bday letter!

this is assuming ganji and annie are in their match, if they are not, i am a silly goofy weepy clown.

HOLY SHIT HE KILLED GANNIE? HOLY SHIT? WJHEJEHEJEHEHSHHE

"You can't kill a king" - they call me the merc by perswayable circa 2020, rip ganji and annie, you are in our hearts.

what i find scary is the fact thats its written that they bonded over rare prey as predators? Hey victor what the fuck dude. Also, 314 is ganji, because its stated that all of them except 314 were quiet lowkey recluse and avoided confrontation. Ganji is someone that wont hesitate for standing up for himself. 312 got drugged and as a result got anxious, this behavior rubbed off on 314 (ganji). In victors letter you see the girl being extremely nervous while the man in white-grey clothes irritatedly knocks on victors door.

And then, the "prey" goes missing. Now, my theory is that the prey is either victor or an external item/person. For the sake of this, i think its victor. The prey goes missing, 314 goes ballistic, 3?1 is forced to show his true colors because 314 kept interfering. Now keep in mind. Victors letter is dated on the day of the match/before it. So, this mustve happened during the match. The motivation would probably be by taking Victor, the tension would burst. Ganji assumes Aesop kiled Victor, Aesop is pissed that his goal was taken from him. Ganji is of course a very protective and altruistic man + he would totally do a confrontation, and unfortunately that cost him his life.

Now what if the prey was an external item? 3?3 isnt mentioned after the prey dissapears, either hinting towards him being the prey, OR, he has no notable reactions to list, he lets it all happen.

Victor is one messed up man.

And there's the matter of, how is someone as paranoid as Victor so easily manipulated in the span of 7 days or so? Not saying he cant be at all, but like,,,, how,,, besides the letters that is.

This leads once again to the shared gaze upon rare prey as predators. What does that even mean? Prey is mentioned multiple times here.

What if, and this is a loop, what if its like a 4 v 1 but with hunters and 1 survivor. And that prey was something meant to be protected, while everyone else was a hunter.

Nahhh that's a crack theory, but call me eli clark because im a seer if that comes true.

Keep in mind, in some matches there are like, 5 survivors and 1 of them ends up to be the hunter, so what if that prey was also a fellow survivor? And what if aesop became the hunter?

I pray to god gannie arent the seatfillers here they are literally so important.

Since aesop and victor get paired up along with ganji and annie, i wonder how gannie are connected? Since annies mood affected ganjis too, they must be close on some level.

[uwuowotf2waslife]

The mercs with an s/o who is on the autism spectrum? If you want to

 as a person with diagnosed autism( ASD that later changed to SCD but concidering my countrys lack of proper diagnosis and non-existant support when i was growing up, im not sure,it might was a result of chronic abuse or i was a really weird kid) its my duty to answer this ask,

always know that you are perfect with all your imperfections 

just because maybe your brain is wired different it doest make you less of a person

you are poetry

Scout

-my boy has adhd ( probably undiagnosed until he was examined by Medic) so you two might have a little problem at the begining.

-he might be the closest to a jack russel in human form, but he cares about you and is willing to sit down and do his research so he can understand you and your struggles. He isn’t a hypocrite, he is a hyperenergetic bundle of daddy issues and is sure he will annoy you from time to time, he annoys pretty much everyone except his mom on rare occasion, he is a hanfull and he knows that years now. But he also has come to understand that everyone has struggles and little things that make them more special than others.

-if you have problems with communication , he’ll be your mouth .Problems with sensory overstimulation? he will escort you to the safest place and hug you tighter than he thought hes capable of. People mistreating or bullying/insult you? the bat is in his hands and his ready to hit home runs on their balls. You might not be the perfect couple, you will struggle like every couple and have fights and arguments, but he is ready to phase every difficulty that comes on your way. He loves you and he is here for the ride even if its bumpy.

Soldier

-( I and i think a big part of the community claim he is actually autistic) Probably the most tricky of the mercs, since at one side he might completely relate/understand you and the relationship go smoother than soft butter on bread, or he might have problems communicating the relationship problems with you.

-as all relationships you two must sit down and communicate your problems. Believe me he isn’t mentally retarded ( a horrible misconsumption ive seen being thrown around), yes he is stubborn and can’t read social cues to save his life, but he is a loyal beefcake with a golden heart hardened by a lifitime of war. He knows he isn’t the perfect man, he has nightmares and panic attacks on the regualr after so much trauma in his life. But he also knows that if he S/O needs him, it doesnt matter if its a small or big thing, he is ready to go through hell and back to make them happier or more comfortable 

-you can’t stand loud noises? copy that privet, he will stop yelling/ screaming around you. Certain things make you uncomfortable/ anxious? hes at your side and he is ready to snap necks...you have his heart and his adoration, he ain’t a coward or a pansy, you’ll win over any challenge that comes your way like the absolute unit you are and he is there to assist

Pyro

-fresh from the start they can recognise you have autism, i lowkey think they might be ( actually in young adults asd and mild schizophrenia can be mixed and confused by not good qualified doctors, its been years since i read that study so correct me if im wrong) or have really good gut insticts. Either way, they know you are struggling and trie in subtle ways to help you

-did an important call without stuttering? hug and smooch on the crown of your head, completed all your work/homework? they will cover you in stickers and cuddle you in their pillowfort, stood up for yourself? my girl theyll make a huge cupcake tray and youll two will eat while watching sappy disney films

- you won’t struggle as much, i see them as more easy going than other members of the team. But they also have big issues that may create problems in the relationship that you both need  to work on. They are more than a handfull and they aren’t unaware of it, they spended years locked inside their own head doing god-knows how vile and harming things to their mentality and body, they can’t believe they are alive and they wake up every day next to the most beautifull human being they have come across their lif, ( Y/n). You will bond slow but strong , you are their sunshine and theyll make sure their sunshine shines no matter what they have to do

Engie

( lowkey i think is canon he has some form of high-functioning autism, just hide its behind the southern warm and soft hospitality)

- when you confess, he hugs you ( a big thing coming from him since i dont consider him a touchy fella)  and returns the confession that he is too. He knows each person experiences different so he won’t press you for explanations or description of what you have is excactly. He just assures whatever happens, he is there to help you with

- doesn’t really change how he views you, but he takes the initiative for things like talking to strangers, calling to order or things that you struggle with, but he doesnt baby you. You are an adult person and will be treated as that, even if sometimes he feels he needs to “help” or “protect” you

-one of the most  easy going of the mercs, but his work is his priority so there will be long arguments about it. He understands your frustation, but he is a workaholic years now before you came in his life and can’t bring himself to change that. His work is his routine, the only comfort he knows and the only place that accepted him for who he is. But, he will be more elastic and have more breaks/ days off even if it means the project will be finished an hour or two later, unless it has an urgent deadline. He knows he can be very cold and emotionless, he is an engineer, not a spy for that reason. Furthermore he has his own times when he is stubborns or has an anger explosion because something broke/didnt meet his expectations or got way too invested into something that turned to be worthless/ uselless so he isn’t the one to judge if you are in a sour mood or you have your own “ explosion”. After all said and done, late at night when you are both alonein his workshop he will just cradle you in his arms and make a silence promise to always be there for you through thin and thick ( as we say to go through 40 waves and 40 more ) because you are something that no machine or creation can emulate or recreate, you are ( Y/N) and you are the love of his life.

Demo

-arguably one of the three more knowledgable of the mercs in the topic of mental health department. Being raised in an orphanage i doubt he didnt had at least a dozen other kids who had from high to moderate to severe autism ( during the 20th century it wasnt uncommon for people with autism to be thought less human or that the family of said people couldn’t provide for them in severe cases so theyd be dropped on orphanages and psychiatric hospitals)., so he has some first hand experiene with what autism is. It isn’t something for him in all honesty, after so much trauma and hardship in his life he is at peace that peopleare different and their brains are rarely wired the same

-he also know he isn’t ideal, he acts really stupid when he is drunk and his alcohol consumption alone is a very big problem for any relationship he ever had in his life and i doubt he is the image of psychological perfection, but he also knows that if you are willing to keep him around you have seen him wasted out of his mind, he is more than willing to put up with anyof your quirks or difficulties.

-you want to stim? go ahead he’ll leave the room/the house so you can stim to your hearts content, you want to stay? sure thing lass, hell sit in a corner and drink a bit while you have your thing. Work/ school/ home life is stress full and you are in the verge of a breakdown? he has already wrapped you like a burrito and he is holding you while you cry/vent, you dont want to be touched at that moment? hell take you to an open field and you can blow things up to get all those feelings out of you. He isn’t ideal, he is at peace with that, but now that you appeared in his life, you became the apple of his eye. He’ll cherish you and protect you both as body but as a mind and a soul for whatever shit life throws at you, he was never one to back down a challenge.

Heavy

-due to the language barrier and his nature as a quiet man it’ll take him some time. If you bring it up he’ll simply nod and run to Medic or Spy for translation. He isn’t shy to do a doctors worth of research so he knows what he has to deal with, he knows his english is broken and would prefer to have a migraine over the amount of books hes read than make you feel uncomfortable. Probably will ask advice from Medic ( the most qualified on the team) untill hes satisfied he knows enough.

-probably the sanest of the mercs, but he isn’t perfection. He had to endure famine and death from very early in his life, always be the stone his family anchored on and most people on his life, so he has his own big problems. At one side he is used to so many things, he is somewhat indiferent. You aren’t harming anyone nor its life threatening, so it doesnt really change what he feels about you. All people have flaws, noones perfect and if they do think they are perfect, they are very, very wrong. I won’t lie to you, some times hell get confuse with your behavior or will get tired of being the “ anchor” of the relationship, but he will never admit it. He survived the Gulags and years in Siberia, this is nothing but a walk in the park for him. He isn’t a fuckboy, he doesn’t want you just for some fuck and then hell forget you exist, he is much more sentimental than he appears to be. He beginned this with you because he sees you more than a body, he sees you as someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with even if itll be a challenge, he was never a quiter and he wont be now.

- don’t expect much communication help from him, unless its in russian. But whenever you feel the tiniest bit of self-doubt or anxiety his arms are open to embrace and warm you with  his love. He might was raised among anarchy and war, but he is a gentle giant with a heart bigger than Russia herself. He knows you two will struggle especially on the communication domain but he is willing  to do what it takes to make your life easier/ less challenging. He came here to stay, only if you allow him 

Medic

-Arguably the most medically qualified of the mercs, but considering the era of his studies hes at least rusty on modern terminology and general understanding of what autism is. Nontheless his a doctor ( with or without a medical license) and i doubt he ever followed the rules of ethical and unethical medicine. He is a healer primeraly and he can’t claim to be the most mentaly stable of the team.

-he might be many things, he knows hes at least crazy by normal standards and has made extremely questionable choices in his life,but he cares for the people he is close to, lovers and collagues alike. He won’t try to ‘change’or ‘medicate’ you; unless you specifically ask him for, like yes he has defied any sort of ethical medicine and has played god many times in his life, but he knows that if he changes you, you won’t be ‘you’. You will be you still, but nothing more than a lobotomized version of yourself and he fears that. Let’s be real, he probably choosed you because you are a smart individual ( that includes both street and book smarts alike) so if he “killed” your smart he would essentially kill you and this doesnt sit well with him.

-feeling down? no worries, the doctor is here ( afterhe finis hes re-connecting snipers new kidneys). Stressed? Archimedes will be your own personal cheerleader and the rest of the flock won’t let you all stressed and alone while Medic is working. In the simplest of works,he wants you to know that  he might be a madman on the field and the medbay, but he is also your lover and that means he cares about you. He doesnt care if act a lil strange or you have some special things about you, guess what? he doesnt cares. H e never cared and he will never cared, all the greatest minds had something  special about them and you are no exception. He chosed to have a relationship with  you and you accepted the love request of a surgery-happy maniac , im sure he is beyond equiped to handle you in all aspects. He might not be the most touchy but he will make his point across that you are someone who means wayy to much for him to change

Sniper

- ( i highly think he is autistic, just the way hes potrayed in most fanfics he acts lowkey autistic, mostly in the communication and sociable part) growing up in the middle of nowhere probably he has never even heard ‘autism’ as a word , so his very lost. (another headcanon of mine is that he is also iliterate) You need to explain to him what autism is and how it affects your life. He has a non-pleasant expression on his face, because he realises most things that you say what that “autism”is and the thing it has are things he actually  has and felt throughout his life. He looks like hes having a religious expierience and when you are done he only nods and hugs you almost mechanically.

-he will need some time, not because ofyou, but because of him. You might think he is breaking up with, butin reality he just needs some time alone to sit down and think about all the things you said. Its one of the biggest revalations he has experienced on his life and it has hit him like a wall of bricks.

- after a few days he will return to the base and will ask you to meet with him on the most secluded of his snipers nest. While you prepare for the upcoming breakup, he actually showers and wears somet hing nice for the first time in a while. He goes out of his way to make the sniper nest a bit more “ comfortable” even bribe spy into giving him one of his fancy wines. Once you go up the nest and you two meet, he is the most clingy he has ever been and almost drinks the whole bottle out of pure anxiety. Once his tipsy enough he actually confesses that from the things you said, he found out hes also autistic. Que him basically clinging you like a broken koala baby while half-sobbing to expell all the tension he  has inside him. Please pet his hair and rub his back,he will melt and quit his rugged manly man persona for that moment. He needs you there, he needs your soft touch to ground him while his whole life comes crushing down and a weight he never imagined is being lifted from his shoulders.After that, its quaranteed you two won’t be seperated ever again, he needs you to ease all this pain he has gathered from his troubled life and he will provide you the world and the stars.

Spy

- he knows what autism is( as a spy he should know about human psychology/mental disorders just to know how to impersonate any person with or without issues) and he is a very observant man. He has above average attention span and knows how to read body language so he has figured you are autistic a long time ago. He is just waiting for you to open up about it or confess it, but he also knows the social stigma around autism so he keeps his mouth shut because he really doesn’t want you  to feel uncomfortable or ‘naked’ in front of him

- i heavily headcanon him to be at least depressed/having an ugly anxiety disorder or even a dissosiative disorder considering a big part of his life is carefully crafted theater , so he can’t say he is any more better than you.Furthermore he never really cared about what society thinks about mental ilnesses, whos here to judge who sane and not? he has seen so much shady things behind closed doors of “ pure” people he has lost all respect for what society thinks its normal and what is weird or not acceptable. Yes he follows the rules of “good” society but thats more of a habit than a need. Plus have you seen what the good ol’ society behind close doors? yap youll need a good bible study and some church to wash away the sins.

-eventually when you confess to him,he doesn’t really act. He knows its a heavyemotinal moment for you but he can’t open up for his own problems, at least now. But he will embrace you for now and say all the sweet words you need to hear...untill the same time he gets drunker than he can and confesses to you in french all his psychological troubles while he cries on your chest. He won’t let go unless he wants to vomit and he will cling to you for dear life while he experiences one of the ugliest meltdowns he has experienced in the last decade. Probably will wake up with a monster of a hangover, but once he feels you wrapped around him and feel your heartbeat on the bones of his back something will meltin him. He will gather whatever strenght he has, turn around, give you one of the most genuine smiles he has ever given in his entire life and peck your lips bore he starts whining and requiesting you to either kill him or fetch medic. Perhaps one day hell say all the things he wants to say in you mother tongoue but for now, just know he will cherish you and love you like the most exquisite poetry that has graced his life

[sebastianshaw]

🙌

Okay since you were the only one who sent it in, you get a TON! ACTUAL CANON

Okay you read Excalibur in the 80s, you remember how poor Courtney Ross got killed and replaced by her evil alternate-reality counterpart Sat-Yr-9 who takes on her identity and just...gets away with it? She turns up in the early 2000s as the new White Queen of the Hellfire Club, and she recruits Viper as her bodyguard that she calls her “White Warrior Princess”...which has never been a rank in the Hellfire Club before or after but Shaw doesn’t fight her on it. I mean, would you? Viper and Courtney were def evil girlfriends, because Claremont was writing it, and for the short time this Inner Circle was in place, they worked very well with Shaw. It’s my favorite Inner Circle lineup besides the classic 80s one. I’ve yet to ever bring them up in anything but I’d like to. 

Red Lotus aka Paul Hark is an interesting figure. He worked as an agent of the Hellfire Club under Viper and Courtney, yet before that, he was trying to kill Shaw---the Black King of the same Inner Circle he’s working for---because Shaw was responsible for the death of his crime lord grandfather. Which resulted in the REALLY homoerotic fight that I’ve reblogged so many times. I always wonder, Paul knew he was working for the Hellfire Club but did he know he was working for Shaw? Was he using it as a way to get close to Shaw again so he could finally succeed in killing him? If that was his plan, were Courtney and Viper aware of it? We just don’t know and I’d really like to! I super duper hateship him and Shaw, and I’ve done a bit of ART and FIC around that, but would like to give him more attention.

Emmanuel Da Costa is like...the last friend that Shaw ever makes in canon. He’s Sunspot’s father, but that actually has NOTHING to do with Shaw’s interest in him. Emmanuel was born extremely poor but because extremely wealthy through sheer business genius and hard work, it’s easy to see why Shaw would feel admiration and kinship for him. And Shaw wants him as the Black Bishop of the Hellfire Club---Shaw’s own former position before becoming Black King---really badly, like HE has to work to win over Emmanuel by doing elaborate and illegal supevillain favors for him. And again, he doesn’t want Emmanuel to get at his mutant son, or for any other scheme, he just...wants him there. Because he obviously feels Emmanuel deserves it, that he earns it the same way Shaw does, and Shaw REALLY GOES ALL OUT trying to get Emmanuel to accept, which is SO ODD for someone who sees it obviously as a reward/privilege. And he never has any kind of conflict with Emmanuel like he does with a lot of men, he gets on with him very well, much like he did with Harry Leland. And...well, you know my theories about him and Harry Leland. And speaking of that...he and Emmanuel had an orgy together. Emmanuel ordered them a bunch of prostitutes to fuck together. I’m not even extrapolating THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS.

Okay so Manon and Maxime are a pair of creepy mutant twins who are from a Bad Alternate Future and were made into Hounds by Ahab. They were rescued from the X-Men and now live on Krakoa but still have a lot of issues around consent and boundaries regarding appropriate use of their psychic powers and I have A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THEM and in one issue of New Mutants, they come to SHAW of all people to tell him UM WE PISSED OFF A CARTEL and Shaw goes and handles it.  And I’m just like, out of all the adults on this island, many of whom are teachers and/or superheroes, some of whom they have a personal connection with/who rescued them, THEY PICKED THIS GUY?!

THIS GUY?!

Like I think it’s probably symptomatic of their abuse/exploitation by a cruel older man in the past that they apparently seek Shaw out for help and seem to want to please him (they really seem to want to please/help adults in general and I think that’s also from their abuse) but like, I like to imagine now these little shits are just getting into Blackstone ALL THE TIME and following him around like creepy ducklings and the only reason he doesn’t throttle them is because they can pacify him with said psychic powers and then make a speedy getaway...only to come back again soon enough to bother him 8) CAN THEY HELP YOU MR SHAW THEY WANT TO HELP!!!

BLOG CANON

My girl Mindmeld! Her canon history is she was Shinobi’s bodyguard that he betrayed and abandoned, so my blog canon is that as of her resurrection on Krakoa, she’s living at Blackstone and pretending to fuck Sebastian to get back at Shin. She may or may not ACTUALLY be fucking him

Black Mamba aka Tanya Sealy aka “Tanya Sweet” is a minor villain I’m really fond of! When she’s not one of the Serpent Society mercenaries, she’s a professional escort who is also trying to get a modeling career off the ground and like...I just love that? I’m also really fond of the Serpent Society in general, so I write Shaw as employing them on occasion for their merc servies (as he probably also does Mindmeld) and has probably also purchased Tanya’s other services as a sex worker too. But she gets frustrated because he’s just...so cold and wants no engagement with her, and a lot of what she enjoys about escorting (in my headcanon) is performing a character and simulating a relationship with a client, because in canon she sees romance and sex as very important, and I think she sees herself as providing something really valuable to lonely people and Shaw just...Shaw is not a guy who pays for a relationship. He pays to AVOID a relationship. He’s the guy who isn’t paying for an escort to stay, he’s paying for her to LEAVE, and Tanya is just like...damn dude the money is good but why are you even hiring someone in my price range just buy a fleshlight if this is all you want???

Skein aka Sybil Dvorak, another low-level Marvel villain I adore. She’s technically a telekinetic but because she can “feel” what she uses her powers on, she refuses to use it on hard stuff like metal, which is painful for her, and instead only manipulates soft things---feather, fur, and, most of all, fabric---which she is OBSESSED with. Her MO as a bad guy for a time was literally just giving people drugs so they would steal lots of soft things for her! Seriously! Her other MOs have included jealousy (attacking high society parties she thought her boyfriend might be at), sex (she “goes straight” for a time and joins the Thunderbolts purely out of a chance at getting to find out what it’s like to have sex with a superhero), getting to be a movie star, and just plain thrill-seeking.  Since she loves soft things so much, I sincerely doubt she’s into a hardbody like Shaw, but you know what I bet she DOES love? All the soft stuff he OWNS. Like god his bedroom ALONE must just be a TREASURE TROVE of wonderful plush textures! So I like to think she’s just always coming in and trying to take all his soft stuff. I also lowkey hc her with a crush on Haven bc like. SO SOFT.

[sainzcaleruega]

I love seeing everyone again its like the first day of school and seeing ur friends

[owletarc]

Unpopular opinions on Ilia, Yang, Winter, Sun, Em, and Merc please! Oh, and GnG and Seamonkeys as ships?

ilia.

shouldn’t of been part of the blake harem, i would much rather of preferred catmeleon to be platonic or as me and @tonotbelionized have been discussing in an au type of thing, for her to be younger and kind of parallel blake’s innocence before she was lost to the white fang? i think that could’ve been a really interesting storyline to go down. also her redemption came too easy and that annoys me.

yang.

the not so lowkey slutshaming that shows up whenever ultra yang stans wanna wank to her “intelligence” like uwu look see she can’t be a dumb slutty party girl the fndm is so wrong here, like honey, no one is saying this. you guys are the ones being sexist as fuck for implying that yang can’t like to party (which she canonically does) and be smart. check yourselves.

winter.

she’s not going to be weiss’s villain? that’s the worst take i’ve seen so far in this hell fandom lmao. however i also don’t think she’s going to be gungho on weiss’s side, and she shouldn’t be considering weiss and co just committed grand theft auto to break into a secure state on lockdown and endangered the lives of those in argus. i think winter’s going to be shown struggling between her responsibilities in her job and her loyalties to weiss, and that struggle does not make her a bad person. she’s not automatically required to take weiss’s side, especially if weiss fucks up.

sun.

he didn’t deserve to be slapped. end of story, stop excusing abuse fndm. also he’s not dumb??? sun has been shown to be consistently street smart throughout the series. the himbo jokes are fun and accurate, but he’s not a moron and dumbing him down so really does a disservice to his character.

emerald.

yes she’s an abuse victim but like,,, she’s also a murderer by proxy? stop ignoring that part of her? the amount of people i’ve seen say emerald deserves a redemption arc over others, especially mercury, because whenever she’s done a bad act she’s shown regret or remorse over it like no??? she killed tuckson against cinder’s orders because she thought it would make cinder happy, and she’s still to date shown no remorse over that or penny’s death. one line does not make her less of a murderer than mercury or cinder lmao. i still believe and want both her and mercury to get a redemption arc ; but she’s not as the fndm portrays her and it only does a disservice to her character when people don’t acknowledge these parts of her.

mercury.

that he actually deserves a redemption arc? piggybacking off my last opinion, mercury is no less redeemable than emerald and the difference in the treatment between the pair really show up how female vs male abuse victims are treated, as well as “ nice ” abuse victims vs “ mean ” abuse victims. mercury’s not a bad person because his trauma manifests in not the uwu typical cutesy anxious ways people want it to. he’s bitter and angry and callous and trauma manifesting in that way is just as valid as emerald being anxious and coy and clingy to cinder. they’re both deserving of help.

g&g.

i think mercury would understand yang better than most other ships she has, excluding like freezerburn tbh. they’re on opposite sides now, but i’m interested to see where it goes in terms of their relationship in the coming volumes; especially with mercury set up so fervently as her foil.

seamonkeys.

sun tops and that’s just canon.

[toshiro-46]

Bumblebee: A Comprehensive Guide to Your Favorite Ship

Hey, I ended up finishing this about a week back and was going to post it then, but I noticed that Bmblb week was upcoming and thought this might be a nice way to start it off.

To be clear: the purpose of this post is to be comprehensive. Every small detail I’ve noticed will be here, so like if you see something and you think “that’s not necessarily indicative of anything romantic”, you might be right, but don’t let that small detail detract from the larger picture. Unfortunately, though I’d like it to be completely comprehensive, I’m only human and no doubt will have forgotten and/or missed some details.

Speaking of small details, in the past I’ve been told that this is all too subtle and RWBY doesn’t do subtlety. To answer that, I invite you to look at Qrow’s semblance, or Raven being the Spring Maiden, or Ilia’s feelings for Blake. I don’t think this is out of line with any of those, and if anything it (particularly Yang’s feelings) is considerably more blatant than Qrow’s semblance and Ilia’s feelings were prior to their reveals.

Finally, I want to defend myself and other bees like me for a second because I realize that taking several hours to research and write this to argue in favor of a fictional (potential) romance, a ship, can be seen as a tad weird… but that’s not really how I view what I’m doing. I think of it more along the lines of a theory, because it’s actually not really different at all: I’m using evidence from the show to support a conclusion. It’s exactly what I did when making basically every other analysis I’ve done on the show. It’s just what the subject of this theory/analysis is. Ok let’s go.

Supplementary reading because I’m not the only person who’s written essays about bumblebee and I’ve used the first two as reference points:

The classic Masterpost by Allisonbw. Unfortunately, it’s two volumes behind, which is a big reason why I’m doing this.

A relatively shorter post by y8ay8a talking about why she thinks it’ll happen. Again, it’s two volumes behind, but still a very good read. Also her art is top notch so check that out.

I’m not as familiar with them, but rwby-analysis has also done several posts about bumblebee.

chained-prometheus has several posts I’ll be referencing, but just the blog in general has many fantastic analyses on why it’s going to happen.

The tl;dr is obviously Yang is gay for Blake, which I’m 95% sure of, and Bumblebee has a pretty good chance of happening.

There’s 4 sections. Yang’s feelings, Blake’s feelings, Parallels, and Eclipse.

#1. Hints of Yang’s Feelings

Volume 1:

There’s not much to say here, really.

Lowkey joking, but like, the only time we see Yang express any interest in boys (even though it was in an overly comedic tone) is in V1C3, and that’s immediately prior to when she meets Blake. After that, she has nothing but disinterest towards boys, like tfw Yang meets Blake. I don’t mean to be offensive because this is actually a thing, adolescents not realizing how they feel until they meet someone that’s their… type I think would be the correct word. Hell, Monty says something about this later on, which I’ll get to. And I’ll expand more on this scene, in a more serious manner, at the end of this section.

It’s worth noting that Blake and Yang have absolutely no relationship issues once they become partners, which - alongside Renora - is an interesting contrast to Weiss/Ruby and Pyrrha/Jaune.

Yang’s concern for Blake during V1C16 is in stark contrast to Weiss, and even though she just heard that Blake was literally a terrorist who seemingly defended all the horrible things that happened to Weiss, she’s more concerned about her safety and finding her.

Really there was very little on Yang and Blake’s relationship in this volume, which is a shame, but what can you do? I’ll tell you what you can do, you can go to the Director’s Commentary and see what Miles has to say about it! Which is what I did. The context of this quote is that it’s talking about when Blake elbows Yang when they meet Penny in V1C15.

That, that is really what I do love about Team RWBY, is that, we have these two pairs of girls, each pair is completely contrasting characters. Ruby and Weiss that causes them to butt heads, Blake and Yang? They get along, flawlessly most of the time.

To put it in my friend’s words: “This is particularly important as there are people that like to say that Yang and Blake have horribly clashing personalities and get along like ‘gasoline and fire’. That they have no chemistry and are absolutely horrible for each other. The idea has been around for awhile, but here’s actual proof that it’s been wrong from the very beginning.”

I also think it’s important because it sets a precedent that even little things like this are being taken seriously by the writers. They didn’t get a lot of time to show off Blake and Yang’s friendship this volume, but what they did show has meaning.

Finally, I wanted to mention Wings. Wings is either sung from Yang to Blake, or from RWY to Blake. But Weiss as the singer (which, I believe, has been the traditional interpretation) doesn’t make any sense, she simply doesn’t fit the singer’s very understanding, nurturing attitude towards Blake. Yang, on the other hand, is definitely characterized as nurturing, such as in Gold. I could see it being all of RWY, but again it’s not Weiss’s style, nor is it Ruby’s when she’s two years younger and she herself gets Yang’s nurturing side. Oh, and an instrumental of it played when Yang and Blake saw each other again for the first time since V3. So yeah, it’s probably Yang to Blake. Also Stray sounded like Straight the first 20 times I listened to this

Volume 2:

So it begins.

V2C1: “Whatcha doin’?” This is noteworthy for two reasons: 1. Yang, Blake’s new partner and future lover (don’t @ me), is interrupting her rumination on her old partner and former lover. Out with the old, in with the new. 2. This phrase is classic flirting, most notably seen in literally every Phineas and Ferb episode.

V2C2: “Yes! I love it when you’re feisty!” More flirting, not much else to say.

I mean obviously, we have the V2C6 scene: most of it isn’t inherently romantic, just a friend comforting another, excepting the rather infamous, “If you feel like coming out tomorrow, I’ll save you a dance.” wink? I shouldn’t have to explain this, it’s pretty blatantly flirting and a double entendre.

V2C6: My friend: “This is the most vulnerable Yang has ever intentionally allowed anyone else to see her. With Ruby in V3 she was too hurt to really guard herself, and even then she tried to deny caring about Blake. The only time Yang has ever let anyone see herself as vulnerable as in Burning the Candle is during her talk with Weiss about Blake.” Because Blake gets to her like no one else. See later when Yang keeps it together with Raven until she makes a snide comment about Blake.

The dance in V2C6-7. Out of our ten students (RWBYJNPRSN), 8 of them end up with someone here. The two who don’t? Ruby, who 1. is two years younger than everyone else 2. “is not really focused on romance” - Lindsay and 3. ends up with Cinder for most of the night and Yang. Yang, the one described as a “party girl” by the back of V1’s steelbook cover, doesn’t end up going with anyone to the dance. Take a second and think on how that’s pretty weird, especially when she says “I’ll be turning heads tomorrow night”. She does, however, dance with Blake, and then seemingly spends the rest of the night just chilling out and watching Blake be happy. To put it in Allison’s words, “Yang went and played wallflower for fuck’s sake.” Oh, and while doing that, Yang turns Blake’s head while she’s dancing with Sun. That shot is focused on ffs.

Something that should be noted: Yang is not a flirty person. She flirts with two sets of people: cute cat girl partners, and enemies. Or to put it another way, she flirts with Blake, and she flirts with enemies (Junior, Random WF Mook #294, Mercury sorta before their match I guess). So let’s not pretend that flirting with people is just a Yang thing.

Volume 3:

Let’s fast-forward to V3C8. Yang has to deal with being vilified in front of literally the entire world, thinking maybe she’s going crazy, getting her team kicked out of the tournament, and guilt over breaking Merc’s leg. What brings her to tears? Blake not believing her. Like this can’t be overstated. Yang is brought to tears like 6 times in series proper. 3 are due to Blake, 1 is her reunion with Ruby, and the other 2 are due to Raven. This relationship is just so important to her and her character, way beyond what you’d expect from a normal, platonic partnership (contrast it with Weiss and Ruby). And it’s not like they have a “sisterly relationship” (something I’ve heard too often) either, because again this is portrayed as different from Yang and Ruby.

Blake and Yang are always on the scroll together btw V3C10 proves this

In V3C11 she’s again brought to tears, and again it’s due to Blake. She’s more emotional in that moment than nearly at any other point in the series so far. And before that, she chooses to go after Blake over Ruby. This is Ruby, who has been missing for like an hour and who she called Blake about last episode because she was so concerned, as opposed to Blake, who was okay last Weiss saw her. And she goes after Blake.

In V3C12, Yang has to deal with everything she did before in V3C8 except now she’s short one arm, two people she knew are dead, her school is in ruins, Weiss is gone, her sister was in a coma for weeks, and you know what actually gets her to break and raise her voice at Ruby? Blake. Yang is more torn up about Blake leaving her than she is about any of the other shit, including her arm. She’s heartbroken.

There’s also a lot of shit about parallels here that I’ll get into later.

Volume 4:

Yang doesn’t mention Blake at all this Volume so we don’t exactly have a lot to work with.

There is, however, one useful quote from Sun in V4C11 that helps confirm what I said a little ways up: “That chameleon friend of yours got me pretty good, but I’d do it all again if it meant protecting you. And I can promise Yang would say the same… so stop pushing us out. It hurts more than anything the bad guys could ever do to us.” So in case you were doubting that Yang is indeed more hurt by Blake than by her arm, doubt no longer. Also parallels between Sun and Yang, which again we’ll get to later.

In Armed and Ready, Yang states she has nightmares every night about how she tries to save Blake (because “There’s nothing that I won’t do for her”). Not necessarily romantic, but telling.

Bmblb speaks for itself and deserves a mention here, regardless of everything that’s happened. I should also note that, in response to what Arryn said about songs not being in the show not being consulted over, Boop wasn’t in the show either until an instrumental or two in V4 and no one doubted its canonicity. And also this is important and relevant. I thought about expanding on this section more, but ultimately I don’t think it’s worth it.

Volume 5:

Not really a hint towards anything romantic but I thought this exchange in V5C6 was interesting: “Listen to your friend, Yang. Your teammates never let you down before.” - Raven, vaguely sarcastically. “You don’t know the first thing about my teammates! About me! You were never there! You left us! Why?” - Yang, her voice breaking by the end; Yang manages to keep it together until Raven makes a quip about Blake leaving her.

V5C8: Yang snaps at Ruby over Blake. Her scenes this episode portray actual heartbreak. I’m having trouble explaining it any other way, really. “What if I needed her here for me?” Like hello? + Yang/Ilia parallels which I will get to later. + This connecting it back with Sun and Blake’s talk in V4C11. Also this is a good time to mention Fre/ezerburn. People were/have been hyping it up, particularly because of this episode, but in my opinion, this episode does the opposite of supporting it. Yang and Weiss are given a private heart-to-heart together - pretty rare for RWBY characters… and they spend the entire time talking about Yang’s feelings about/for Blake. That’s not really what I’d expect from two characters interested in each other. Nothing against the ship itself, just doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen in canon.

V5C13: this is gay. No but seriously this girl gets paralyzed in the middle of a battle of life and death just from seeing Blake again. I have to emphasize again that this is so much more emotional and intense than how a normal friendship is and is portrayed in this show.

General stuff:

This is more about Yang’s sexuality than Blake specifically. When talking about it, people generally point to the scene in V1C3 where she… purrs I guess would be the sound at shirtless men as evidence that she likes men. Makes sense, but I don’t completely buy it. 1. It’s just a joke, both in a meta context and to Yang. She’s clearly just joking with Ruby and as soon as one of the guys (albeit Jaune in a onesie) takes notice of her, she gags. 2. She’s still a 17 year old fresh out of their equivalent of high school, it’s not uncommon for LGBT people to realize they’re LGBT around then. 3. This is still very early in the show and since that point (starting with V2 specifically) RT could’ve decided which way they wanted to go with the character. Ultimately it’s sort of irrelevant as it doesn’t matter much if she’s bi or lesbian, but I’ve always thought of her as a lesbian for reasons right below.

Historically Yang has not really liked men. Junior in the Yellow trailer, Jaune in V1C3, Port in V1C9, Neptune in V2C4, and Shay in V5C1. Unlike Ruby, she’s not a fan of Qrow’s story in V3C4. Unlike literally everyone else in RWBYJNPRSN, she doesn’t have any notable positive relationships with a member of the opposite sex, excepting those related to her.

Her reactions to Blake are far beyond what you’d consider normal for a friend, even a best friend. She gets angrier than we’ve ever seen her when Blake gets stabbed. She isn’t that angry when Ruby gets knocked out or when Weiss gets stabbed or anything, but she absolutely fucking loses it with Blake. And this is after going after Blake when as far as she knows she’s fine but Ruby’s been missing for a long time. Pyrrha and Penny died, Weiss left too, but what got Yang to crack and lose her temper with Ruby in the V3 finale is Blake. A reminder that Blake’s abandoning actually hurt her more than losing her arm did - Sun says as much in V4 and that again, she loses her temper at Ruby when Blake is brought up in V5C8. She actually goes still from shock when she sees Blake, p different from when she first sees Raven and Ruby, two people who she also reunited with this volume after being abandoned previously.    

Relevantly, in response to someone asking about LGBT characters, Monty said (and this is at the beginning of V2) “Sure, absolutely. The best part about that is maybe they are there now, because they’re kids and we’re on a path to help them discover themselves. I don’t think we even need to make that decision right away because we learn more about these characters as we write them. So we’re definitely not opposed to it, a lot of us are for it, I have some cast members and some crew members who are like “This would be really cool”. But the thing is we can’t just shove it out there, it has to be earned, which is the better way to do it. And a lot of these characters we try to look at outside of their gender so we just want to do what’s natural for them.” I think this is important because it’s pretty much what I think happened with them and Yang. At first, they didn’t think about it much and that’s why we didn’t get anything about it in Volume 1. But by the time Volume 2 starts, we get Yang flirting with Blake and all that. She may not have (in Monty’s words) discovered it herself then or even now, but we’re getting to that point.

#2. Hint’s of Blake’s feelings

There’s not nearly as much about Blake, but the moments she does have tend to be pretty significant.

Volume 1:

V1C6: Blake chooses Yang. She follows her in the Emerald Forest and deliberately makes eye contact with her. Obviously not specifically romantic, but the other two people who chose their partner had feelings for them.

gay

Volume 2: I personally can’t find anything that would indicate Blake has non-platonic feelings towards Yang. However note that she does tilt her head in a smile when Yang says “I love it when you’re feisty” in V2C2, so… it’s not just Sun whose flirting she responds to positively (V3C2 is what I’m referring to).

Volume 3:

In V3C8, Blake, unlike Ruby or Weiss, doesn’t immediately believe Yang. Why? Yang reminds her of Adam. Not in the sense that they have very similar personalities - they don’t, besides a few striking parallels - but in the sense that Blake thinks of them along very similar lines. She let love blind her once and doesn’t want that to happen again.

V3C11: A post on the Kuleshov Effect in use here by Chained Prometheus. In addition, Adam, who probably knows how to read Blake better than most, having known and/or dated her for 4+ years, can immediately tell she loves Yang just from a single look of hers. That’s something.

V3C12: Besides the obvious implication of this shot and what Sun is thinking about here (more on that here), what other relationship saw hand-holding in an intensely emotional scene this volume???

Volume 4:

In the opening, Blake glances away, leading into a scene with Yang, indicating that she’s thinking about her.

In V4C11, her voice breaks when she says Yang, a stark contrast to the other two she mentions. She also says, “I loved them like I never thought I could love anybody!” Wait… what? Was her friendship with Ilia - a 4+ year affair - somehow lesser than a friendship with them that lasted less than a year? That makes absolutely no sense! What about Sun, what about her parents?? Did she really love all of RWY differently and more intensely than everyone else she knows/knew? No. Just one of them.

Volume 5:

When she’s talking about her team in V5C5, her ears perk up and her tone changes when she talks about Yang. Again, it’s made exceedingly clear with small things like this that Blake and Yang care about each other differently than they care about the rest, and that this isn’t just a partner thing - once again look at Ruby and Weiss - it’s far more comparable to JNPR’s partner relationships than it is to WR (the difference btw between JP/RN and WR is that JNPR’s partner relationships are/were both romantic).

V5C13: “Yang?”<- her first thought when there’s a giant fucking ethereal lancer (huh wonder if the giant bee that’s there right as they see each other again means anything it probably doesn’t)(oh also that’s the whole reason she went in there in the first place bc Hazel got stabbed and she saw that and was checking it out, yet she still ignores it in favor of Yang) behind Weiss who has a peculiar stab hole in her shirt and also Mercury and Emerald are there for some reason fighting her team and somehow her team is back together and all this and yet her first reaction is “Yang?" Hammertime does a nice post on this.

Oh hey look it’s Hammertime again. Seriously, watch that, it’s only like 40 seconds long and relevant. Besides that V5C14 doesn’t have much beyond some smiles but those smiles are, in my completely objective opinion, pretty fucking gay.

#3. Parallels

The most important shit, in my opinion. Yang and being compared with Blake’s past and present love interests, name a more iconic duo.

Yang and Tai, Raven and Blake:

Raven and Blake: mysterious ninja (well Raven’s clothing is more samurai-esque I think, but I digress) girls with bloody pasts who use katana-esque swords and also incorporate their sheathes into their fighting, who have long black hair, and who have clear affinities to animals.

Tai and Yang: (I mean they’re father and daughter so the similarities/parallels should be obvious). Both obviously deal with some severe abandonment issues due to Raven and later Summer/Blake. Or how about this? Tai and Yang are both reminded of their former teammate/lover in a talk (Tai in V4C11 talking with Yang before she leaves, though this gif is from V4C12) and then go look at the photograph with them in it.

Raven/Blake leave their teammate/partner/person-who-is-in-love-with-them after a life changing event, which leaves Tai/Yang broken and shut down.- Raven and Blake are pretty clearly contrasted in their relationships to Yang. Raven leaves for (probably) selfish reasons, never bothers to give an explanation as to why (true for Blake atm, but Weiss at least explained it), and Yang is forced to find her. Blake leaves for selfless reasons and chooses to go back to and stay with Yang.

And, as per my friend​: 

Yang and Blake both seem to be succeeding where Tai and Raven failed. Tai suffered heartbreak and broke down. For a long time. He wasn’t a deadbeat who only just started working, because as Yang says to Weiss, Tai was always at work. But he threw himself into work instead of facing his issues. Yang had to deal with so much [ex: her arm and everything else I mentioned in the V3C12 blurb] on top of losing Blake. And yet, she still got back on her feet in under a year. And while she may not be better, she’s still moving to take care of those she loves. She’s working to heal.

As for Raven, she also had a problem with running away. While Blake just runs away, Raven runs and hides behind others. Which shows in her Semblance [A point I didn’t get, Blake and Raven even have sort of similar semblances], she can teleport to people she cares about. People who would protect her [And Blake ran away to protect Yang. Raven ran away to protect herself].

But where as Raven never overcame this, Blake decides to stop running and face her problem. Instead of getting revenge, she seeks to stop the source of the problems. And yeah, she didn’t go to Haven for Yang. But she decided to stay [And she willingly decided to face Yang in the first place]. Something Raven also didn’t do.

Yang and Adam:

I mean Blake herself compares them. This fact alone is huge: she’s directly comparing Yang to her former love-interest, she thinks of them in similar ways, even if she doesn’t realize it herself. Which is actually a thing people do.

Their semblances. Both are essentially absorbing and redirecting damage, and the writers themselves have said that’s a purposeful comparison, except Yang uses her pain to become stronger while Adam just bottles it up, not feeling it, before releasing it all in one hateful blow.

Both are forced to deal with Blake leaving them unexpectedly, except Blake left Yang because she loved her, while she left Adam because she no longer could.

Both have anger issues that worry Blake at some point, but Blake chooses to believe in Yang, unlike what happened with Adam.

Yang and Ilia, Yang and Sun:

Look no further than Alone Together for Yang and Ilia. They’re paralleled in the episode pretty heavily, with both getting pinkish eyes over her, both showing how they’ve handled her abandoning them, and both getting extremely real with their confessions over how Blake makes/made them feel.

Sun himself talks about how they feel the same way in regards to protecting Blake. Sun - who we know 100% has romantic feelings for Blake - says this: "I’d do it all again if it meant protecting you. And I can promise Yang would say the same.” He knows they feel the same way about her. Besides that they’re both blonde brawlers who show some chest, have gloves/bracers/whatever, are/can be pretty laid back, and are associated with the sun. Again, similarities should be clear.

Bumblebee and Arkos:

Honestly, I had never seen this myself until it was pointed out to me, so it’s much more fitting that I just quote Allison.

From her post (I once again encourage you to read the whole thing, it’s very relevant):

You remember how I mentioned that Blake and Yang’s relationship is not like the other relationships in Team RWBY (Ruby and Weiss’s relationship included)? Because there’s another relationship in this show it’s a lot like. A relationship with confirmed romantic interest that gets a fair bit of on-screen development in the first three volumes, even. I’m going to show as much as possible as opposed to a bunch of telling, because this shit must be seen to be believed.

Going in chronological order, and also weaker to stronger, on dialogue parallels:

Bumbleby and then Arkos in the Emerald Forest.

Arkos, in a scene with an intimate setting with romantic lighting in which Jaune discloses a shameful personal secret to Pyrrha.

Bumbleby, in a scene with an intimate setting with romantic lighting in which Yang discloses a shameful personal secret to Blake.

Bumbleby, in a scene where Yang tries to reassure Blake.

Arkos, in a scene where Jaune tries to reassure Pyrrha.

And some parallels that aren’t dialogue per se: In what relationship in the V2 dance arc do we see a blond hunter having a heart-to-heart with their partner (one, two, one partner making a deniable expression of interest in going to the dance with the other (one, two), and then the blonde cheering up their partner by donning a white dress and dancing with her despite not officially being her date (one, two)?

Depicted: the answer. Both of them.

I also had a Blcksn shipper tell me once that Yang can’t be interested in Blake because she let Blcksn happen right in front of her at the dance (I like the way she stomps off in those heels). And I’m thinking, “You mean like how if Pyrrha were interested in Jaune, she totally wouldn’t have coached him on how to ask Weiss out?”

And then of course there’s this blatant juxtaposition in 3.11, which I dare you to unsee now.

Seriously though, the big moments for Arkos/Bees come at the same times. It starts with V2C6/C7, then the first half of V3C8, the end of V3C11, and the beginning of V3C12. Jaunedice is the only odd moment out here, otherwise it’s consistent. Pyrrha and Blake both deliberately hunt down and choose their partner in Volume 1, both believe they find the relic at the same time… etc. The similarities are hard to ignore.

Yang and Blake, Beauty and the Beast:

'Beauty’ and 'Beast’ can be used interchangeably with Blake and Yang. Blake has labels assigned to her from birth (her last name, Belladonna and the fact that she’s a faunus) while Yang has physical traits (she’s a beauty and referred to as such in RLR, and her semblance is essentially beast mode) that signify both of them as both characters. And Adam fits in neatly as Gaston.

Here’s a link to Chained Prometheus’s post on the matter. He’s legitimately very well-versed on Beauty and the Beast, his opinion here is very worthwhile.

From Allison: 

Yang, who’s loathed worldwide as of 3.6 and misshapen as of the end of this very scene and generally paid out the nose for her short temper this volume, introduces herself with a roar, attacks a white-fanged enemy in defence of Belle/Blake, gets her right arm fucked up, passes out from shock, and has to be rescued and hauled to safety by Belle/Blake at the end of the scene.

#4. Ecl/ipse

So I’ve gone back and forth on Ecl/ipse (which is Sun/Blake, to be clear, I just come from a part of the fndm where Ecl/ipse is the dominant name) a lot in the last two years. From “It’s definitely going to happen” to “It’s never going to happen” to somewhere in the middle, to where I am now (No hate btw, and I mean that seriously. This is just something I have to address, because for Bumblebee to happen, Ecl/ipse can’t).

Which is… it’s probably not going to happen. I think it’s pretty simple as to why:

If it were going to happen, it already would have. Blake and Sun had two volumes where they spent the majority of their time together; from a storytelling standpoint this is the ideal time to develop their dynamic into a relationship. There’s no better opportunity, really. Especially since Sun has always been a stand-in for her team, a way to push her back towards them, and he’s never been relevant when that’s not necessary. If you don’t believe me, look at how he’s first introduced when she runs away in V1 and how he’s barely a presence in V2 (excepting the one episode where she’s apart from her team, of course) or especially V3. In V6, she (and the show) most likely just doesn’t have time for him, the same way she (and the show) didn’t have time for him in V2/V3. She’s back with her team, what further purpose does he serve? The answer is no purpose, really, because it’s not like he’s going to Atlas (because why would he), so he’ll likely be out of the story for the next few years. Basically they had their chance to make it happen and they didn’t. They had their chance to set it up more explicitly in V5 and they instead focused primarily on Blake’s and Ilia’s relationship.

Look at V4 and V5. In V4 (specifically Chapter 3), Sun is obtrusive and flirty and Blake really doesn’t like it. She’s impatient with him, she even slaps him three times, and generally she’s just not having it. But he gets the hint, he actually backs off in V5. And their interactions are far more positive accordingly. I think Sun realizes by V5 that it’s not going to happen, so he doesn’t end up flirting - at all - in V5, which is unique when compared to literally every other volume. In fact, I think he realized it back in the V3 finale, he was just sort of in denial for most of V4 before coming to accept it in the latter half. And that’s why he pushed Blake towards Yang in the V5 finale. He knows (this is admittedly speculative, but yeah Sun is low-key a bee shipper imo).

y8ay8a also explains the actual faults of the ship pretty well.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There is a lot of evidence towards Bumblebee. Even if you’re not looking for it, you’ll see signs of it. I did. Allison did, too. Both of us weren’t really into shipping in general or bees specifically until we saw Volume 3 Chapter 11. And once I started looking for it… there’s just much pointing to it. Which is why I wrote this post. As a guide for anyone who wants to know whether this ship is actually realistic.

[sometipsygnostalgic]

xenoblade chronicles  2 rapidfire review

π after i started writing up a 5000 word review and was still on the “character” section ive decided to make a rapidfire version to get to the fucking point. 

Story - at the end of the day, it’s a tale about how to deal with all the pain and insecurity that life throws at you. how to dig down deep and find a way to continue in what you may interpret as a dreadful world. it also has some of the most satisfying mysteries and plot resolutions i’ve ever seen in a videogame. utterly touching themes. unfortunately gets a bit too shonen at points especially with the protagonist. also quite possibly a lowkey harem anime.  

Story rating - 8 out of 10.   

Characters -  mostly all amazing in the english version. 

Rex - a top lad. your best mate. however, becomes a total flawless gary stu pretty quickly. better than many protagonists out there. i like the way he gets people to open up by acting so casually friendly around them. 7 out of 10.

Pyra - unfortunately the weakest character in the main cast. has 3 forms that are treated as different characters for some reason, and no emotions beyond “sad” and “in love with rex”. her mythra form is a slightly better character who will talk to other cast members and sass down people. however mythra also comes across as weak and overly emotionally fragile at times, considering she is supposed to be the Master Blade. i suspect she exists for rex to have 4 3 girlfriends at once.   

Azurda -  dragon grandpa. subversive in that when he dies for the hero to move on from the homeland, he immediately resurrects himself as a cute furry thing that sleeps in rex’s helmet. best videogame decision ever. gives top advice.

Nia - welsh. double furry. how old is she? 6? most useful NPC. swears a hell of a lot. hilarious sassmaster with an intriguing story and well-rounded motivations. consistently interesting relationships with other cast members up to the end of the game. even remains the same after receiving her compulsory magical girl transformation. has the most awesome magical girl transformation. gives the main villain super cancer, causing him to blow up like harry potter’s aunt. probably the best character. lightly orbits the black hole of the rex harem, struggling to maintain geostational stability against the powers of fanservice.  

Dromarch - a good dad cat. there is not a lot else to say about dromarch, except that you can ride him, which is badass. he and azurda are the old dad types babysitting the kids. 

Tora - meh meh. actually likable mechanic child. why is this furry cat thing a key member of my party. despite rarely ever upgrading his blade he has made me basically immortal many times. nopon mask is underrated. masterpon is same at start of game as at end of game. that is to say he is an ambitious child, and a bit of a pervert. however, has terrible taste in upgrades. has many IRL blades pointed at him.  

Poppi - poppi artificial blade who speak like masterpon. poppi α has cool design. poppi α adorable and cool. due to being newborn blade, poppi have refreshing and truthful view on world. poppi have tragic artificial sister who almost die terribly after evil nopon brainwash!  poppi have most sad heartbreaking scene at end of game. however, poppi QT and poppi QT π designs can die in big fire.  poppi good at throwing shade. it endearing and special trait. 

Morag - technically the group normie. however, very weird. when you first see morag she reeks of pure chilled badassery. logical and with a strong sense of justice and compassion, morag starts off as an intimidating antivillain but becomes a staple member of the party. even though rex and the gang are fugitives in her city, she lets them leave because she senses they weren’t crooked ruffians and they had a purpose of their own. but she comes back to kick their ass when she thinks they’re causing more trouble, and is actually quite pissed off about rex and pyra holding back on her. has a sweet relationship with the emporer, her distant cousin/adoptive kid brother. morag learns on her adventure the value of the optimistic views the kids  around her have of the world, and says multiple times if more people thought like they did, maybe there wouldn’t be so much political nonsense  stopping people from living together peacefully. morag has a lot of pride and cannot deal with being oneupped. i love her.

Brighid - Morag’s wife blade who is one of many that struggles with the thought of losing her identity after regenning. has a diary of her past lives. uses it to taunt mythra about that one time she kicked her ass. pretends to be a little distant but low key super emotionally invested in the cast’s development. literally asked a main villain if she was like her past self that he knew, causing him to reconsider his entire philosophy on blades becoming completely different people when they’re reborn. bitchslaps rex that one time. Owns everybody at some point. such a beautiful character design that i never even noticed her chest is basically bare. 

shellhead Zeke - the prince... of NOTHING. wishes he was still a student. that one time he nearly died, he was probably impaled by a falling twig. enjoyed playing Team Rocket. surprisingly wise for a teenlike NEET. does not look after his precious turtle. potentially does have a thunder powered eye. however, definitely requires second contact lens. unfortunately not comparable to rex in combat especially as his Luck stat means using a legendary crystal on him is like throwing it away. 

Pandoria - i often forget pandoria is a blade because she is zeke’s girlfriend, also i never use her in battle due to his redundentness. well reknowned for also not looking after turtles properly. also well reknowned for slam dunking the prince over his nonsense while being equally silly.  

BAD GUYS

Jin - apparently has special people-drawing trait that makes all the good cast who know him shocked he is ordering such evil bastard things to happen. not entirely sure what that trait is. emo about much bad stuff that happen to him and his driver. wishes to never forget his life with his driver. dirty child killer.very aniime. why is he the only flesh eater whose core turns red?  okay character with decent enough motivation. was confused as to why Malos was following him until the very end. 

Malos - evil bastard. cheesy villain. you can kick his ass many times and he will get back up 3 minutes later and laugh at you while swallowing back the bile of a bitter defeat. is actually a little tragic by the end of the game. dies for no reason. makes morag jealous because he found his purpose in life, though im not sure what that is.  

Akhos - N3RD. probably the most likable member of Torna. had a silly Blade companion who he was really upset died. i like how he was sentimental about his ‘sister’ blade. 

Patroka - most forgettable Torna member. a little bit tsundere. 

Mikhail - grew on me significantly at the end though like Akhos and Patroka his backstory was unceremoniously dumped on your lap at the last second. must be a great fan of Prince Zeke as he’s heard of the term Blade Eater. also why has Mikhail got awesome blade powers and immortality when Zeke hasnt? maybe Mikhail is “possessing” the blade per se.  

Amalthus - emo bitch. stared God in the face and raised his middle finger. hypocritically creates flesh eaters then sends witch hunts out for them. i like that he reminded himself every day about how bad humanity was by doing his best to help people. so despite the praetor being this “benevolent” figure he had somehow manifested a being of pure hatred. 

Theres a lot of other people I cant be assed talking about right now.

Character rating - 9 out of 10. Even though some important characters arent as impactful as they should be, everybody is memorable and I can remember all of their damn names and backstories.  

Gameplay - not particularly amazing. battles are alright, RPG-wise, with orb breaking combos and cancelling being fun to use. but they’re highly limited by the fact you can only control 1 character at a time and there is no Co-op feature. they also take an incredibly long time, even for just one enemy encounter, and there can be unfair Spike damage moves that oneshot you. my most satisfying moment battling ever was when i was fighting Aeon, the final boss, and got a Full break for the first time... I decimated the fucker when he was at 60% health. 

Of course, those are just the battle mechanics. 

The game is full of complex mechanics that do nothing but add tedium. Every single quest in the game forces you to farm for certain “collectibles”, plants that grow in specific unlisted locations that respawn when you fast travel. Many character “affinity” upgrades, which can lock out certain areas of the map, special skills, or unique interactions, also require you to do this shit. A guide is NECESSARY for this.  There’s also the Merc Missions. Little did you know, you will need to complete Merc Missions to reach the end of many blade quests!!!you know what’s FUN? Waiting for a timer to pass after 25 fucking minutes!!!! this game has NO RESPECT FOR YOUR TIME WHATSOEVER. 

the biggest bullshit of all is when you’re locked out of the main story because a specific character on your team hasn’t unlocked level 3 of a specific skill, because there’s no way that you’d be able to unlock that by naturally playing the game as you have to go out of your way to fill the criteria and grind something or other for 20 minutes. 

This makes sidequests absolutely worthless.

The saving grace for the gameplay is probably the customizability of the blades themselves. Not so much the skills you can attach to each blade, but that you can unlock a number of fun characters to use, and they will have their own unique dialogue. The drivers and blades talking during battle also makes a 20 minute fight feel a lot quicker. 

Battle gameplay mechanics: 6 out of 10. Fun but could be better.  Sidequests, crafting, and field skill mechanics : 1 out of 10. Worthless trash that should never have been greenlit. 

Considering that you will be spending so much time on the gameplay, why even bother playing the game at all?

It’s very much the story that pushes the player to move onwards. If this game didn’t have such a fun cast and meaningful plot then I’d probably not have gotten past the first act. 

Music and Environments - Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is filled with vast, beautiful and diverse environments. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot of interactivity with them other than killing monsters or foraging those bloody collectibles, but they’re beautiful enough with a diverse range of monster inhabitants that give them life. The MUSIC is godlike. My favourite track in the game would be the song used for the city in Tantal. Very ominous and beautiful hymn, sung in English. 

Music and environment rating - 8 out of 10.

Localisation - While many sneer at the localisation choices for this game I thought it brought it to life. Granted I have great bias as being a Welsh girl who is familiar with the differences in UK regional dialect, but it felt like the dialogue the characters were saying also had a heavy makeover to fit the new voices... I really don’t believe that Rex’s Japanese voice actor also sounded like a Top Lad, or that Nia’s japanese voice actor sounded as much like she was ready for a valleys bar fight.  However there are some clear obstacles as well - the characters seemed to have no idea of the context of their lines. This is obvious when they shout something for a long time. Rex’s “HIYAAAAAAAAH” and Nia’s “NOOOO MOOOOORE” sound comically off-tone when they are supposed to be epic. It’s the works of someone who read those lines off a script without knowing what was going on. Tora’s actor saying “meh meh” sounds like it was meant to be a COMPLETELY different noise. Morag and Zeke never go off-course, however. I think either they had an advantage with more visuals being completed by the time they were cast, or they just don’t have diverse enough dialogue in the game for it to have been an issue.

Localisation - 7.8/10 too much Meh. 

FINAL THOUGHTS

Xenoblade chronicles 2 is a highly addictive game that pulls you to the finish line with an interesting plot and a cast you just can’t let go of. While Pyra is certainly the weakest link of the characters, and the game has some extremely goofy shonen scenes that it’s hard to take seriously, and oh dear me that’s an awful lot of boob shots, I had a lot of fun powering through it. I’m going to have a tough time letting go of this story and these characters. 

Unfortunately the gameplay itself is not similarly addictive, and becomes more of a chore for you to get to the next cutscene or funny interaction.

Final rating - 6.5 out of 10. While a worthwhile experience, the greatest story in the world cannot save this game from piss-standard design choices. It is probably better to spend your time on a game that doesn’t have anti-fun mechanics. But I’d be hard pressed if any had a cast that touched your hearts quite like that of Xenoblade Chronicles 2. 

[comic-movieheroesranked]

Cinematic Comic Characters Ranked! (Year 2004) Final Part

After two consecutive years of multiple Comic movies, 2004 took it a bit slow with only five movie releases. Blade returns one last time in Blade: Trinity as well as Spider-Man in Spider-Man 2! We also get a spin on two cult classics with AVP: Alien vs Predator. Finally we also get the debut of two comic characters in Hellboy and Catwoman. Here is our TOP 20!

*SPOILERS AHEAD FOR ALL HIGHLIGHTED MOVIES ABOVE*

20. Drake (Blade: Trinity)

"Kill one man, you're a murderer, kill a million, you're a king. Kill them all, a God."

You know Blade's a badass when Dracula changes his name to Drake just to try to keep up with Blade's coolness. He's the ultimate vampire, yet I thought he was very lackluster (like most villains, honestly). I'm sorry but you're not intimidating if you have to use a baby as leverage on what should be a one on one fight. When the showdown between the two does actually happen, Blade ends up winning to no one's surprise. Not even Drake's, who respects him so much he even helps him out after his death.

19. Kroenen (Hellboy)

*creepy laugh*

So was this guy a zombie made of sand? Because without the armor he looked like a zombie. And he was a zombie who knows how to work a blade. It was guaranteed in the movie that whoever was around when this dude showed up was going to die. He even took on six security guards, killing two of them with their own bullets. Of course I had to hate him when he killed Professor Broom and of course I cheered when Hellboy finally finished him off (I'd also like to point out that Hellboy believes in double tap). I thought this guy was emotionless but right before he dies he starts this evil laugh that's almost chilling. He was easily my favorite to watch die via Mortal Kombat dungeon spikes.

18. Liz Sherman (Hellboy)

"Red, white, whatever. Guys are all the same."

Since she was a young girl Liz has been cursed with the ability to create and control-I use that term lightly-fire. She doesn't quite have a handle on it and seems she can only let it loose after experiencing traumatic memories or being physically hurt. Her destructive fires have wiped out a bunch of kids who totally deserved it and an entire psychiatric ward that totally didn't deserve it. She spent most of her life with the government and wants desperately to be in the real world living a normal life. It's one of the reasons why I think she can't return Hellboy's feelings for her, because she connects him with the facility she wants to run away from. In the end, after she destroys all the hellhounds and Hellboy saves her life, the two finally confess their feelings and share a passionate kiss that literally erupts them into flames.

17. Mary Jane Watson (Spider-Man 2)

"Isn't it about time someone saved your life?"

I just felt so bad for Mary Jane in this movie. Granted, she's doing better career-wise but she's just so in love with Peter and just doesn't understand why he won't be with her when he loves her too. She tries to move on with John, who's like the definition of a good guy, but he's not Peter so  we all know how that story ends. I just didn't expect her to be so savage and leave him at the alter SMILING the entire time! I'm just glad that her and Peter are officially starting something because honestly she was already getting caught in Spider-Man's battles so might as well fill her in as to why that is.

16. Whistler (Blade: Trinity)

"Get out, Blade!"

There's a reason why Whistler is the only other character besides Blade to be in every single movie in the trilogy. He's the perfect partner. He knows that it's all about the mission and is willing to do whatever it takes to make sure Blade is successful. His only problem? Dude's getting old and slow. Man it was hard watching him go down when police came in locked and loaded, but I respect that he was still able to destroy all the evidence with every last breath he took. Even after death he made sure Blade was taken care of, because Blade WAS his son I don't care what anyone says.

15. Sebastian de Rosa (Alien vs Predator)

"Only the chosen ones may enter."

The Italian that just kept sending romantic vibes to Alexa through the whole movie. He's also the only one who seems to figure out everything that's going on thanks to his background in ancient civilizations. This doesn't save him from being alien cattle, though, and Alexa is forced to kill him when it's discovered an alien has already grown inside him.

14. Alien Queen (Alien vs Predator)

*Alien screech*

If the Alien Queen wasn't designed to literally kill everything that lives, I might've felt sorry for her. The ancient civilization that worshiped the Predators basically had her chained up so she could do one job: lay alien eggs. She gets tired of this, however, and has her children attack her so her acid blood can break her free. She then fights Alexa and the last Predator to escape to the surface but ends up being dragged into the sea where she instantly freezes in the Antarctic weather.

13. Tom Lone (Catwoman)

"Sorry, lady. I'm taken."

What's cute about Tom is he's already swerving other women when he's only been on like, one date with Patience. Granted, the other woman turned out to be Patience but it's still a sweet gesture. Tom's job as a cop makes things really complicated when he finds out Patience is really Catwoman because now he's struggling on whether or not to bring her to justice (this lowkey makes him Batman). He decides to trust his heart and ends up helping her clear her name and bring the right person to justice. Too bad at the end he just gets a note for a goodbye.

12. John Myers (Hellboy)

"My uncle used to say that we like people for their qualities but love them for their defects."

The new guy! Professor Broom hires John straight out of college to look after Hellboy, even if the other male doesn't think he needs watching. Most of his duties consist of cooking Hellboy huge amounts of pasta and pancakes as well as look after his army of kittens, but when the occasional demon comes around he also helps out with that. Its revealed that Professor Broom hired him because he's dying and needs someone to look after Hellboy when he's gone. How does he do this? BY GOING AFTER HELLBOY'S GIRL! Ok so she's not really his girl, which is why I don't blame her at all for going on the date with him because she's her own person and is allowed to do what she wants but John was foul! He knew Hellboy was crazy about her and tried to get with her anyways! At least he didn't get upset when Liz decides to be Hellboy instead.

11. Hannibal King (Blade: Trinity)

"It's in the meat of my butt, just below my Hello Kitty tattoo."

Who knew Ryan Reynolds would star as Deadpool five years before he was officially cast as the merc with a mouth in the first Wolverine solo film. But really Hannibal King is exactly what I fear Deadpool would be if he was in movie with any other super-hero character. He was extremely annoying, half the time I wanted Blade to just slap the shit out of him every time he opened his mouth. It was like he had a serious case of word vomit. Him being the comedic relief was a tad bit overdone and no, him being shirtless didn't lessen the blow at all. At least we saw him go up against three vampire dogs.

10. Patience Phillips/Catwoman (Catwoman)

"Cats come when they feel like it. Not when they're told."

Let's start this off by saying that Patience Phillips is literally one of the most annoying characters ever. Where's Selina Kyle? Like why'd that change? Was it because Halle Berry's black? Because that's such a cop out. Despite the horrible movie, I actually really liked Halle Berry once she was in the cat suit. She had her strut, she delivered those lines, and looked so visually stunning it's like she came out the comic book. Too bad the movie wastes her potential with useless scenes at a basketball court, dealing with loud neighbors, and doing a random ass BDSM dance at a night club.

9. Abigail Whistler (Blade: Trinity)

"Scream if this hurts, chica!"

Whistler's daughter out of wedlock ended up not falling far from the tree and caught the vampire hunting bug at a young age. She didn't let her father's rejection stop her and joined a team of hunters that helped Blade take down the main vamp, Drake (aka Dracula). She's got killer aim with a bow and is bound to get even more bad ass with Blade basically taking her under his wing like her father did with him.

8. Predators (Alien vs Predator)

*Predator clicking*

Three young Predators show up to Earth to slay a bunch of aliens as of rite of passage into manhood (Womanhood? You can't really tell if there's different genders with them). To do this they trick a bunch of humans to show up so that the aliens can breed the Predator's perfect prey. Two of them go down pretty fast, to the very first alien they come across. One was killed instantly while the other put up a really bad ass fight before falling victim to the same alien. The lone survivor proved to be the more superior out of the three because it's taking down humans and aliens left and right. It teams up with Alexa to take on the big Alien Queen. They're successful, but the Predator dies in the process. It's clan, who was just watching the entire time, appears to take it's body away, not knowing there's an alien-predator hybrid growing inside it ready to come out wreck havoc on their ship.

7. Professor Broom (Hellboy)

"I already know what to call him. I call him 'son.'"

Professor Broom is my dad too, I don't care what anyone says. The fact that he was the only one who saw Hellboy as a baby when they first discovered him and not some red ape they needed to kill really shows what a caring man he is. He raises Hellboy as a son and nothing more. He grounds him, lectures him, and Hellboy knows better than to be caught smoking around him. I thought we were going to lose him because of his sickness, but he ends up getting murdered by Kroenen, although he goes out with the highest class.

6. Dr. Otto Octavius/Doc Ock (Spider-Man 2)

"I will not die a monster!"

One thing the first two movies of Spider-Man did that were really successful were their villains. Once again we have a man with a brilliant mind but this time wants to use it for the greater good of mankind. Dr. Octavius turns into a villain after loses everything he worked and cared for and ends up being controlled by his technical tentacles. His fight scene with Spider-Man on the train was one of the best fight scenes I've seen in a movie, too. I'm glad he went back to his core values, even if he had to sacrifice himself to do it.

5. Abe Sapien (Hellboy)

"If there's trouble, all us freaks have is each other."

Abe was probably my favorite out of the trio of 'freaks'. He was an aquatic humanoid with the ability to know everything about a person or object just by touching them. Looking passed his obsession of rotten eggs, Abe proved to be a very important member of the team. While Hellboy did all the ass kicking, Abe made sure Hellboy knew everything about the thing getting the ass kicking. He's not a fighter, which is proven when he's severely injured by one of the hell hounds. Healing his wound takes him out of the main fight but it doesn't stop him from giving advice to his friends when they need it.

4. Alexa Woods (Alien vs Predator)

"To restore order, the guards need their guns."

Wow it was so obvious that Alexa was going to be the only human to survive this temple full of aliens and predators alike. Probably because she was the only one who didn't actually want to go because of how dangerous it was. She knew how to handle every situation and learned quickly that in order to stop the aliens from reaching the surface, she would need help from the Predators. After she kills her first alien, the last remaining Predator deems her worthy and the two team up to take down the Alien Queen. When the Predator's clan shows up, they let keep her badass sword and alien-head shield. I, personally, would have wanted a ride since the nearest town is a thousand miles away though I'm sure Alexa would figure it out just fine.

3. Blade (Blade: Trinity)

"I was born ready motherfucker!"

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Blade is the ultimate badass! Literally everyone in every single movie of the trilogy got hella worried once they realized they were going up against him. He is the ultimate nightmare of all vampires. In his last mission we see him turn into the mentor as he takes up Whistler's daughter and her team to take on Drake. Of course he's successful because he's a badass and that's what baddasses do. But seriously I could just hear him say motherfucker the entire movie if I could, but I get that the script had to be a little more complex than that. Even though the movie wasn't my favorite, Weslet Snipes definitely ended his time with this iconic character on a very high note.

2. Peter Parker/Spider-Man (Spider-Man 2)

"Sometimes to do what's right we must be steady and give up the things we desire the most."

Our favorite neighborhood Spider-Man is back! Peter is going through a life bump two years after he first becomes Spider-Man. He's broke, struggling in class, and damaging his already fragile relationships. The main reason for all this is because he's putting his responsibilities as Spider-Man before anything else and it starts to take a toll on him. I can't blame him for wanting to quit, it's not easy for someone to give up everything they care about for a cause they didn't really ask to be responsible for. Except, he kinda did. No one forced him to become Spider-Man either so I'm glad he got out of the no-power funk he was in and went back to making the streets of New York safer. And because he went through all of this, he was able to help Dr. Octavius get his morality back, which is something you don't see a lot in the grand dynamics of hero vs villain.

1. Hellboy (Hellboy)

"Second date, no tongue!"

He's big, he's sassy, and he's one of the pettiest people that's ever graced a comic book. Hellboy is exactly what his name is: a boy that came from hell. Granted he's a man now but Hellman doesn't exactly have the same ring to it. What's not to love about Hellboy? He has the best one liners, goes through all the teenage insecurities of liking someone that we all went through, and has a deep passion for kittens. Anyone who is willing to risk their life for a kitten is a hero in my eyes. The main struggle Hellboy has during the movie is fighting the demon he is 'destined' to be. He files down his horns and tries desperately to fit in with society, even if his main reason is so he could finally by with Liz. In the end, after losing his father, Hellboy leads the team to stop Rasputin from ending the world. And he's able to accomplish that by making the choice to not be what's expected of him. To not be a hell demon that will bring about the end of the world. After ending Rasputin and his plans Hellboy goes back to the indestructible badass we all know and love and finally gets to kiss Liz.