#loved writing this!

[literaturewithliz]

distracting kiss or secret kiss with kam?

In the grandeur of a Vacker ball, the most captivating part was either the décor, or the Vackers themselves.

Keefe had to disagree.

Don’t misunderstand, it was insanely entertaining to watch his best friend not even pretend he wasn’t pining over Foster in her scarlet evening gown. And the teal and gold decorations were nothing short of spectacular. It was Fitz’s Winnowing Gala, of course. So how could everything NOT be perfect?

The only person Keefe wanted to dance with on any ballroom floor wasn’t going to be there tonight, that’s how.

Keefe was mostly there for morale support. The whole party was pretty much just a formality. As if anyone other than Sophie was ever going to own Fitz’s heart. However, in elvin culture, Winnowing Galas weren’t just so you could start scratching names off your Match lists. They were also a celebration of the host becoming an adult and making their debut into society as an independent citizen.

So the last thing Keefe should be doing right now is imagining Tam Song in a perfectly tailored jerkin, sweeping him onto the dance floor like in those cheesy royal teen movies Foster had shown him.

And yet….

Keefe sighed and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jerkin. He debated on going to the garden for a breath of fresh air when a huge wave of emotions slammed into him. He knew who it was instantly. He put on a smirk and turned around to face Sophie Foster.

“Hey Foster, you do know that there’s really no reason to be this nervous, right? Fitzy’s too obsessed with you to even think about anyone else here,” Keefe chided. Sophie blushed and scrambled to deny her nerves. “How many times do I need to remind you that you can’t lie to an empath?” Keefe asked with fake annoyance.

“I’m not lying!” Sophie insisted. Keefe raised an eyebrow. Foster sighed and accepted defeat. “Fine, maybe I am. But while we’re on the topic of feelings, you wanna explain why you’ve had this wistful look on your face all night?” Well, she had him there.

“I haven’t the slightest idea what you mean,” Keefe replied. But he knew Foster wasn’t going to let this go, so he held out a hand to her and pulled her to dance when she took it. “Don’t fall over,” Keefe teased. Sophie scoffed and got right down to business.

“Thinking about Tam?” she asked. Keefe nodded wordlessly. “Well, why don’t you go talk to him?” she wondered. “I didn’t think he was coming. And besides, what am I supposed to say? ‘Hey Tammy, I know I’ve made fun of you and your ability for the entirety of my knowing you, but I have a massive crush on you! Go out with me?’” Keefe asked sarcastically.

“Not a bad idea, actually.” Sophie smirked. Keefe scoffed. “You might as well try it, at this point. He is in attendance. He’s just been hiding himself in shadows by the corner over there,” Sophie pointed to a corner Keefe could see over his right shoulder. Now that Keefe thought about it, that corner was a bit dark compared to the other ones. He couldn’t see Tam, but he suspected he was there.

“Still, bad idea.” Keefe said with a sigh. Sophie looked at him with sympathy, all signs of playfulness from earlier gone. She was the only Keefe had ever told about his crush on the male Song twin. “You know, I think you should confess when you’re ready, but if you don’t ever talk to him about it, you’ll never get a chance with him.” Ugh, he hated it when Foster was right.

Keefe nodded, and looked to his right when he heard someone clear their throat. Fitz, with a very nervous expression, looked at Keefe. “Do you mind if I borrow her for a sec?” Fitz asked. “If you don’t mind, of course, Soph.” Fitz clarified. “She’s all yours” Keefe confirmed as Sophie nodded shyly. But before Keefe left the dance floor, Sophie tapped his shoulder. “Don’t forget what I said, okay?” Keefe nodded and winked. “Have fun, you two” he said before leaving his two blushing best friends alone together.

Keefe decided that even if he wasn’t ready to tell Tam how he felt, he could always tease him. So he made his way towards the dark corner Sophie’d shown him. Once he was there, he said aloud: “You know, Bangs Boy, there are a million better places to hide from people at Everglen. Like, I don’t know, the six libraries and eight gardens, for a start.”

At the word ‘libraries’ Tam let his shadows fade to reveal himself in a dark blue jerkin with a black undershirt. Crap, he was beautiful. “Everglen has SIX libraries?” Tam asked, eyes going a little wide. “Yep, that’s what happens when you live in Vacker Land!” Keefe confirmed. Keefe briefly entertained the thought of mentioning that Candleshade had seven libraries, but decided against it, because he didn’t want to seem like he was trying too hard.

“ I knew they were… well off, but I didn’t know they were THAT well off. Do you know one that’s nearby?” Tam questioned, with a little bit of awe in his eyes that Keefe found absolutely adorable. “ I do, but to direct you towards one, I need a form of payment for my services.” Keefe said with a smirk on his face. Tam rolled his eyes, and Keefe internally mourned the look of awe. “I think I’ll just ask Biana.” Tam said, turning around.

Tam turned right back around when he saw the massive crowd of people he would have to go through to get to Biana. “You know what? Fine. I’ll do the stupid payment. Can you please just show me the library? Or one of them, I should say.” Tam said, tugging on his bangs a bit. “of course! I’ll need a favor though! Keefe said with a gleeful smile. Without thinking, he grabbed Tam’s hand and lead him out of the ballroom through a door near the corner.

Oh God. He was holding Tam Song’s hand.

Keefe tried to pretend like he wasn’t having a mental breakdown and let Tam’s hand go, leading him to the closest library he could think of. It was small, compared to the others, at least. But it had the best books, in Keefe’s opinion. “Are you a fan of fiction?” Keefe asked, looking at Tam. “It’s my favorite genre,” Tam said curtly. Keefe briefly wondered if Tam was mad at him for taking his hand, and mentally panicked.

Thank God that they finally made it to the library. When Keefe opened the door to reveal a couple hundred books, all tension in the air faded. And Keefe might’ve imagined it, but he was pretty sure he heard a tiny gasp escape Tam’s mouth. He wished he could somehow bottle up that sound.

Tam was the first to move forward, and found a shelf lined with dark blue books. Of course the Vackers would have a color coordinated library. Keefe started following, but then turned towards a shelf with light green books, not wanting to make Tam upset again. He pretend to browse for a book, as if he hadn’t read every one in the room.

“You’ve been here before, haven’t you?” Tam asked. “How did you know? Keefe asked, trying to avoid the question. “You seem extremely uninterested. Sophie told me you like fantasy books, and you’re really close with the Vackers, so I just assumed you must’ve read at least SOME of these.” Ugh, was Keefe always this transparent? “Well, you’re right, I have. I’ve read all of them, actually, so HA! I’ve beat you at the bookworm game, Tammy!” Keefe said, hoping Tam would drop it. He didn’t like the idea of his crush knowing that he was such a nerd. More like, he didn’t want his crush to know WHY he was such a nerd.

Tam just rolled his eyes. “I hadn’t really pegged you for a bookworm. I was surprised when Soph told me,” Tam said, looking at a yellow book that had seen better days. “Well, books are a great escape when your parents suck!” WHY DID HE JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD? All the deflecting he’d just done to avoid this topic, just for Keefe to screw it up. Figures. Tam got really silent for what felt like hours, days, weeks. But then, just as Keefe thought he would dash out of the room is disgust, Tam uttered a quiet: “I agree.”

Oh.

So Tam read to escape his sucky home life too, huh? Maybe Linh was right. Maybe they did have more in common than they thought. Not like Keefe was going to keep talking about it though. Then again, he didn’t have to. “You don’t have to be embarrassed, you know that, right? In my opinion, it takes a lot of perseverance to focus on the things you love rather than the things that hurt you.” Tam said, looking straight into Keefe’s eyes. Now that Keefe was thinking about it, he realized just how close he and Tam were. He would barely have to move to…

NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! He would most certainly never have the chance to kiss or do anything even a bit romantic with Tam Song. He hated Keefe. Then again, he wasn’t exactly rushing to leave and avoid physical contact, in true Tam fashion. Keefe felt himself relax, and tried to make a joke to lighten Tam up too. “Wow, Bangs Boy. Was that a compliment?” Keefe asked, hoping something like a smirk was on his face.

Instead of biting back with a witty remark as usual, Tam asked a question. “Can I kiss you?” Keefe froze. No way Tam just asked him that. This was most definitely a dream of some sort. But, you couldn’t dream up the was Tam’s short breaths fanned Keefe’s face. Or the way his silver-blue eyes glittered in the moonlight. So before Keefe even replied, he leaned forward.

[so-many-ocs]

[on the verge of having a complete breakdown] i need to make some kind of list or perhaps sort things into categories

[sleeplessv0id]

what doesn't kill you makes you weird at intimacy

[evidently-endless]

i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.

[almondpiglet]

ppl were drawing mikus from all over so heres habesha miku and her lil twin sibs rin and len!!

[soul-from-another-era]

Unconditional love isn't a free pass to hurt me.

[ptimepoet]

- Clementine Von Radics

[usefulquotes7]

[flowrrs4u]

I am good. I am loved.

[what-iz-life]

I confuse people. i have a happy personality and a sad soul. i'm bold but shy. i love deeply but sometimes i feel heartless. i'm healing and hurting at the same time. i'm dedicated to growth, but i self sabotage

[palatial-monstrosity]

the self care industry will sell you face masks and teas and whatnot so i'm here to remind you not to forget the most important self care activity which is masturbation

[daughterofchaosstuff]

done healing my inner child. next up is my inner teen. her highness demands a sword.

[resqectable]

Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.

Sylvia Plath

[within-the-last-minute]

stay safe because i like being alive at the same time as you.

[noperopesaredope]

I wish we had more female characters like Eleanor Shellstrop. One of the most unlikable people you've ever met. Read a Buzzfeed article on most rude things you can do on a daily basis and decided to use that as a list of goals. Makes everyone's day worse just by being there. Dropped a margarita mix on the ground and tried to pick it up, only to get hit by a row of shopping carts which pushed her into the road where she was hit by a boner pill delivery truck, killing her instantly. Cannot keep a romantic partner despite being bisexual. Had a terrible childhood but will die before she gets therapy. Best employee at a scam company. Just the worst but also can't help but root for her to improve.

Absolute loser. Girl-failure. Bad at almost everything. Literally perfect female character.