#love you all! aaaah!
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HI CASSETTE BEASTS CARD GAME HAS ACTUAL CARDS NOW.
This isn't the final art, this is just a playtest!! But holy shit there's a real version with rules and cards now.
Here's the link to the drive!
#holy shit!#going on vacation tomorrow but man alive! I got a pdf and a tabletop simulator file!#please let me know what you think of it! I'll make some surveys when I get home!#love you all! aaaah!#cassette beasts#cassette beasts unoffical card game
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Zuri Jackson, my beloved oc who is mainly in: The Wayhaven Chronicles, Infamous and Chop Shop
Thank you so much to @gncrezan for this commission! I received it forever ago but finally remembered to go ahead and post it.
#i love how she turned out! her beauty spots and her waistbeads and her hair! AAAAH#the beauty spot on her lip especially!!!#and the look on her face - how could you say no to that face🥹 my baby🥹#click on it to see the A+ quality of the art - don't rob yourself of seeing my baby in all her beauty#twc#the wayhaven chronicles#twc detective#infamous if#infamous art#infamous oc#chop shop game#chop shop art#chop shop oc#oc: zuri jackson#twc art
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cookie run... random cutes...
#cookie run#crob#cookie run ovenbreak#cr#uuughhh ok ill tag the cookies#PRINCESS COOKIE#!!!!!!!! YAAAY YAAAAY I GOT HAPPY JUST TYPING HER NAME <33#knight cookie#just yawned#blackberry cookie#cheesecake cookie#sauna egg cookie#yoga cookie#< typed pretzel cookie fml after all these years#salt cookie#fandom sleeps on the fact that yoga and salt are DEF related#okchun cookie#mint choco cookie#salt cookie... i love you....#princess... i love you so so much more#i like princess#muay thai umm salt ummm uuuhh i forgot the rest#aaaah spinach and earl gray and errrr etooo#im forgetting every cookie ever#idk#i like the cookies that look like my ocs smiiile
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"So we found our way back home. Let our cuts and bruises heal. While a brand-new war began. One that no one else could feel"

Post-Ishval angst here, my mind is running wild for weeks now about that time, because of this song ;
youtube
My thoughts on Riza's Ishval return ;
I think she's going back to the academy. For one thing, to properly complete the cursus. At least sort out the paperwork and graduate properly? On the other hand, I don't think she has anywhere else to go. I'm not sure she wants to go back to the Hawkeye house, filled with all kinds of memories.
She has a decision to make; to continue in the army or not? I like to think she's making that decision after the episode of her burned back. (I don't know where to put it in the timeline? Do they do it in Ishval, making it look like an accident, an attack by the last few Ishval rebels? Or are they waiting to get off the train? Or are they (ROY) waiting a few more weeks? IDK. there are so many great theories out there!) Anyway, during her convalescence, Roy will share with her the conversation he had with Hughes and will do anything to reach the top to make amends and solve the army/country's problems. It's at this point that she makes the choice to join him and follow him to hell a second time if need be.
I have no idea how a military academy is organized :') But imagining Rebecca and Riza roomates was very easy. Anyway, the result is that they're both sleeping in the same room. PEF nightmare that turns into PTSD episode etc… And Rebecca, ooooh sweet, sweet Rebecca, manages to calm her down, despite everything that's spinning around in poor Riza's head. - You know, like the horror of war, realization that she's unleashed a Flame Alchmist on an entire population, her back, remorse, memories, Kimblee's words (yes, that's free) , etc etc etc. All through a scope, please - and this scene is just running around in my head and I had to put it on the screen. Then it gave me the opportunity to draw Riza and Rebecca, so I'm HAPPY.
Obviously, these are just my thoughts. And that's why I love fanfics, finding out how everyone fills in the gaps in the story. 🤌
#Rebecca/Riza friendship <3#I'm really stressed about posting fan art for something as big as FMA I'm always afraid it's already been done#AAAAH STRESS#there's too much beautiful fan art out there#I love you Rebecca but your hair ARG I can't draw long curly hair#Riza has it all figured out long live short hair T_T#that kind of drawing is clearly not something I'm used to do#english is not my native language i hope my mumbling is understandable#if you haven't done so go and listen to the music trust me.#all the hugs in the world for Riza please#fma brotherhood#fmab#fullmetal alchemist#riza hawkeye#rebecca catalina#my art#fanart
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#warframe 1999#warframe#warframe spoilers#warframe 1999 spoilers#i LOVE how cheeky she gets once she opens up more#same with her brother#like aaaah i see you two are smart asses underneath all the brooding!
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Lady Maud and princess Style for villain squad au
Maud was the crown princess of Hytopia which led her to have a more arrogant and selfish persona. It was hard for the people to like her. Eventually she grew so selfish that her father passed the crown onto her younger brother, fearing what she’ll do to Hytopia if she had the crown. She was enraged by this of course and ended up disowning her family, leaving her home and settling down on the outskirts. She mostly kept to herself and even picked up a hobby of fashion and creating things, but with Styla being born and prepared to be queen of Hytopia, her anger has grown again and she has a hatred for her niece whom she’s never met before.
#I doubt Maud will be an important character in this au since being from a different country#but it’s fun to play with her#and Styla#aaaah styla I love you sm#you’re so cuuuute#keep in mind I haven’t played all of Triforce heroes#so I don’t know all the details#but this is an au so it’s not fully tied to Triforce heroes#villain squad#lady maud#princess styla
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Vampire Knight Rewritten Tiiimeliiine baybeeee!!
1100:
Kaname is born in what will later be England.
1120:
Kaname is bitten and after committing a massacre of people, escapes to a ship and tries to sleep forever.
1637:
Kaname wakes up in Japan, eats the people who find him, walks into the sun to try and die. It does not work.
1643:
Kaname meets the “Hooded Lady”, Tani Kuran, a fellow vampire who wears a Japanese wedding dress half the time. She gives Kaname the name Kaname since Kaname forgot his original name (Cain I.) and he takes her surname, Kuran. They fall in love (very weird codependent love) and have a son named Christopher/“Krist” (he’s dead).
1646
After the Hooded Lady attempts to kill the current vampires in charge to stop infecting Japan and influenced Kaname to join. While Kaname is fighting with the leader, Tani steps in between the two to protect him. This allows Kaname to kill his opponent but, in doing so, he unintentionally impales Tani also. Tani tells him she might’ve done this on purpose.
Kaname burns the rest of the current council down but decides to seize control in their place before leaving Japan, thus leaving Vampires having no power there.
Though this is throughout time nearly all of Kaname’s descendants inbreed and die, except for Juri and Rido.
1761:
The dhampir and future revered vampire hunter Kaien Cross is born in a British colony (he’s Irish).
1779:
Kaien throws a rock at Kaname’s head in anger at the bourgeoise. This causes the two to meet.
2002:
Yuki Cross/Kuran is born.
2003:
Zero Kiryu is born.
2004:
Ichiru Kiryu is born.
2005:
Emi Yagari is born.
2007:
Juri Kuran-Tomita, Kazuya Tomita (Juri’s husband and Yuki’s father), and Rido Kuran are killed. Yuki is turned into an amnesiac pseudo-human and taken in by Kaname before being given to and adopted by Kaien.
2014:
Toga Yagari (33 years old) mercy kills his wife Babette after she’s bitten and turned, she begs him to kill her before she goes berserk.
Emi is nine when her father comes home and frustratedly says her mother isn’t ever coming back because she is dead.
Toga would later lose his left eye a few months later.
2015:
Ichiru is bitten and conceals this using illusions.
Zero and Ichiru’s parents are killed in an orchestrated killing by Ichiru and Shizuka Hio. Zero is bitten. They are taken in by Kaien after Kaien saves them from dying and kills Shizuka.
2021:
Part one begins.
Late 2021:
Ichiru Kiryuu kills Kaien Cross. Vampires are exposed to humanity.
Zero gives up half his humanity to evade execution with the help of Kaname.
2022:
Society collapses. The world goes to shit after vampires are revealed, The Council only does stuff that will get them more power. America and Russia nuke each other, Japan closes itself off, groups of humans live in underground colonies, the sky is permanently grey so vampires aren’t affected by the sun. The Japanese military splits off and joins either the Hunters or the Catholic faction known as the Templars.
Zero fights Kaito Takamiya and leaves Kaito behind with a magazine of silvers. (A Light Novel I planned)
2023:
Part 2 begins.
Zero saves Emi from a club in which she is a sacrifice. Though Emi kills the other half of the club.
Zero, Emi Yagari, Toga Yagari, Kaname Kuran, Hanabusa Aido, Ruka + Akatsuki Souen, and the hunter army kill the council and dismantle the council’s reign.
Zero and Ichiru fight each other while Kaname kills any remaining councilmen. Ichiru dies. Immediately after, Zero is speared by Yuki and Kaname sees Zero’s body before killing Yuki, his final descendant, in vengeance.
Kaname blows up Cross Academy, and he almost dies. Albeit Kaname is given Yuki’s heart so he is comatose.
Emi Yagari resurrects Zero Kiryu with help of Toga Yagari by getting his metabolic processes back on with magic, which takes weeks.
A day or a few hours after Emi Yagari resurrects Zero with help from her father, The Templars nearly kill her for this as this would make her equal to or above God/Jesus. Aido quickly diverts their attention to “other pressing matters”.
Kaname wakes a week later without his memory.
Yuki Cross is dead. Ichiru Kiryu is dead.
2024
Part 3/Post-Series
5 months after, Zero wakes up.
Emi has become Cross Academy’s headmistress, though she’s more of a “Mockingjay” situation.
Cross Academy is rebuilding.
Kaname Kuran’s memories are brought back by Zero Kiryu.
Kaname attempts to starve himself for a week out of just wanting his life over. Zero finds him.
Kaname and Zero get together after a whole deal of Kaname being pissed off zero brought him back but then Zero isn’t taking his shit and then they have say gex in the abandoned apartment and dam now they are boyfriends and the series goes on as weird slices of life.
2040
Emi has her son Mei. The father is unknown.
2046
Kaname and Zero get married.
#mood#oc#vampire knight rewrite#vkr#vampire knight#zero#kaname#kaname kuran#kuran kaname#ichiru kiryu#Emi Yagari#toga Yagari#kanazero#Yuki cross#timeline#vampire knight rewritten#basic incredibly abridged timeline#oc timeline#bonk#Kiryu zero#zero Kiryu#kiryuu zero#zero kiryuu#zero was the one to propose. Kaname bugged him about it so the time so zero thought it’d be hilarious if he just deadpan-asked Kaname#with a rose mind you. Kaname got jumpscared so bad but he didn’t care#also Emi is canonically Aromantic Heterosexual good for her#good god Emi as a parent and Toga as a grandpa…#plus Zero and Kaname as uncles#aaaah#I love them all
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Thank you f1 for being canon compliant and putting Fernando in his habitual Santa suit
#its so funny seeing this bcs its like yeah of all drivers ofc he'd be santa#old man duties and all that 🥱#but then think abt how theres pics from his ferrari yrs of him genuinely in that exact costume#i think actually they should dress up Fernando more#if you look at old pics theyre always making him wear silly things#yeah yeah the boss photos#but there is a severe lack of weird fernando costume pics as of late#you cant see it but theres actually a speech bubble of him saying:#alright who wants to sit on santa's lap first#and boom there is an immediate line#guys what do you think is in his bag 🤭🤭#just. only kimoa merch#i loved seeing people on reddit say his secret santa gift was very thoughtful#and like yeah sure he knows that charles is getting into padel. but like. its literally his brand.#in that bag is just padel rackets. and if you dont play padel then you instead get a personalized padel lesson from papa nando-#aaaah i rly like the way they drew him in this very cute very accurate#(also man makimg me wish i drew somw weird vett//onso christmas art of them as santa and elf 🙄🙄🙄)#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso
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Long awaited...maybe? The Lost Boys Memes Part 4!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!! !!
These are worse quality than before OOPS :( so sorry
(if you care enough to read the tags,,,im hiding stuff in there) (standing in front of you like a deer in headlights)

Let me know which one made you laugh more cause thats what a mf (me) is here for (stares at you with my huge eyes)
#tlb#the lost boys 1987#the lost boys x reader#x reader#marko tlb#the lost boys#paul tlb#dwayne tlb#david tlb#michael tlb#ive literally never reblogged anything in my life before but i'm going to start doing so#I couldnt beforehand but now i can :3 yippeee#sex penis?!?!?!?!?!?#ALSO I WANT ALL OF YOU IN THE LOST BOYS FANDOM TO KNOW I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME AAAAH#and if any of the boys see this no you did not#kisses you on your mouth#there are so many of you who write fanfiction and stories on here who are so fucking cool and awesome and loving and#sometimes i do tear up a bit seeing you guys interact cause AWWWWWW#hope that wasnt cringe#also im still debating on whether or not to change up my account idk yet
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MORE THAN 5,000 FOLLOWERS??? AAAAAAAHHH!! THANK YOU GUYS!! ❤️❤️🥹
When I created this blog I didn't expect that so many people would like it, thank you very much!! I don't have enough words to express how happy I am. 🤧🤧
But I thank you from the bottom of my heart. ❤️
In celebration of 5k and 2 years of blog, I will post a celebration post for you later! 🎉
Again, thank you very much!! LOVE YOU ALL!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️🫂🫂🫂



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Reading Wit's conversation with 'Nomad' in Sunlit man and I'm sitting here like what did you do Hoid. What happened on Roshar. What are the 'events in Alethkar.'
Hoid I love you but if you are the cause of any hurt for my Bridge Four and adjacent guys I will be MAD
#wren reads#sunlit man#sunlit man spoilers#trying to piece things together is fun#theres something homely about roshar beinf Home#like yeah i understood that reference#so true king dirt IS weird#anyway SIGZIL MY BOY#what HAPPENED#stormlight archives#book five is gonna RUIN me#i also love how the word spren isnt mentioned until after this conversation#though if youve read stormlight you pick up pretty quickly thats what aux is#ALSO BRO whyd you break your oath what happened????#are you the only one who did???#he thought wit was kal i dont know how i feel about that aaaah#this is making me wanna reread stormlight#though i might instead do an In Order cosmere read#and catch all the one of books ive missed so far#need to reread dawnshard because i DID read that but forgot most of the signficance
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Hi! I recently was re-reading your drabble over baby-fever Aki and pqpabpwowkeneuwkap💓
Just imagining settling down with Aki after a while… You and Aki both agreed that you wanted to start a family together, especially since Aki grew up alone. You wanted to help rebuild his family.
But once both you realize you’re at a point where you’re both truly ready, it seems like it’s just hour after hour that you two are going at it. Kitchen. Bathroom. On the floor. On the ceiling. You two happen to be the last ones at HQ locking everything up? In his office.
It doesn’t matter where; Aki wants to have a child, a family, so badly with someone - with *you* - and he doesn’t want to have to wait long (and neither do you).
~ 🐌
baby fever aki... god is he the sweetest. all he wants is to have a lovely little family with you, that's why he quit working at public safety and asked you to marry him in the first place. and really, he's always felt perfectly content with just you and him, and occasionally denji and power at your place making a ruckus. but when you tell him you wanna have a baby, when you promise you're serious and get that idea in his head, getting you pregnant, he's an utter mess.
he can't stop thinking about it. aki is pretty reserved when it comes to sex, he doesn't make a lot of moves and he's fine without it as long as you're happy. but suddenly, he's turned insatiable, he wants to have you all the time, and he doesn't care where, or how many times in the same day. he just... loves you so much, he gets so overjoyed at the idea of having a family with you, of growing old together, of raising a kid — his and your kid, he's going to be a dad. it'll be perfect, he doesn't know if he wants your kid to look like him more or like you more but either way, he knows he's going to love them.
he wants that sweet and simple life with you more than anything, that's why he's so eager to fill you up (also he can't lie, the idea of getting you pregnant is really sweet, but sort of hot to him too, makes him feel a lil possessive...)
#'on the ceiling' LOLOLOLOL#aaaah... aki's just so sweet...#he's really so in love with you and he makes you know that so clearly#and I mean you already know he's gonna be such a good dad#think... he'd find it kind of hot doing it raw#because you always used protection before#all you have to do is tell him you've stopped taking your pill and he's dizzy#need to have the cutest family with him#wanna have a kid that looks just like a little aki#aki pls breed me#I want ten aki babies#twenty aki babies#one billion aki babies#ask mags
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hihi! your rb with the tags about your profession had me intrigued and I wanted to ask, what DID kill the Hollywood system? if you don't mind me asking >u<
HI HI HI HEHEHE first of all i hope you’re doing well!!! seCONDLY OMGGG thank you for indulging me waaaaah i love talking about golden age/classical hollywood and the studio system!!!
beware: i rambled on and on below the cut >.< apologies for the mini essay in advance waaah
OKAY SO. first, a little context. the classical hollywood studio system originally utilized a practice called ‘vertical integration’, which basically means they owned and operated ALL channels of production, distribution, AND exhibition—aka, they controlled literally everything in regards to the films they made, which was like 90% of american filmmaking at the time. this, naturally, made it quite difficult for any film that wasn’t a film made by the Big Five (warner bros, paramount, 20th century fox, RKO, and MGM) or the Little Three (columbia pictures, united artists, and universal) to be screened at a theatre, because the studios owned a decent chunk of the theatres.
furthermore, the theatres the big studios DID own always got first run of their films, meaning that their movies were exclusively screened at the theatres they owned first, then were passed off to second run, third run and fourth run theatres. it’s important to note here that the film prints being distributed and passed around theatres were the same all throughout a film’s run—so by the time a print reached a fourth run theatre, the film stock was all scratched up and low quality. who wants to go watch that? (no one! audiences flocked to the first run theatres owned by the studios!).
the antitrust case between the supreme court and paramount pictures (aka ‘the paramount decrees’) was the first, and heaviest, nail in the coffin of the studio system. the paramount decrees did two things. first, they forced studios to stop a practice known as block booking. block booking was a practice where theatres not owned by the big studios were forced to buy a huge block or batch of films in advance. usually, these films included one A-list film and then a bunch of B-movies and other less desired films. second, they forced studios to cease owning theatre chains, which allowed for indie directors to begin screening their films, AND it allowed for more international films to be shown (which in turn helped break down the production code & replaced it with the ratings system).
this began the end of the system! it was then further impacted by consumer culture, car culture, and suburbia. after world war two, many people moved out of the city and into the suburbs, where they began to start families. car culture was booming and it was hip to have a car that you could use to commute to work (from the suburbs into the city!). disposable income was abundant, and many families were buying fancy new appliances for their new suburban homes—including televisions.
it’s a common misconception that TV killed the studio system. it was, in actually, only one of several nails in the coffin. television at the time was pretty crummy; it was low quality, the screens were small, and it only had about three channels (not to mention studios began allowing television networks to begin screening older films that no longer ran in theatres). but evidence proves that moviegoing attendance had fallen drastically several years before televisions became a fixture in the home. to combat TV and capitalize on car culture, studios began erecting drive-ins, to little avail!
anyway, i could go on and on and on but basically, in a nutshell, those were the handful of things that broke down the classical studio system and gave way to ‘new hollywood’…which then gave way to the blockbuster.
#there’s also like;; the HUAC trials which impacted up the studio system as well#anyway i hope all of this makes sense!!! i tried to convey it as concisely as possible HAHAHA#i have a tendency to go into way too much detail when talking about these things#(which i think is where the unintentional pretentiousness comes in; i just want to share every lil bit of knowledge and info i know!!)#the studio system is fascinating and pretty sickening tbh#i believe we are currently living through more hollywood history atm#the north american movie industry is pitiful right now#it needs a revival#*i* am hoping for a second ‘new hollywood’ to come about but#we’ll see#they need fresh blood!!! new ideas!!! stop letting disney 1. control everything and 2. rehash the same shit over and over again!!!#aaaah okay ANYWAY LMAO#thank you again for indulging me :3#i hope you had a lovely tuesday and i hope the rest of the week is kind to you sweet friend!! <333#inky.bitti#clari gets mail
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Be In My Eyes - Chapter 30
You can read the previous chapters here or on AO3. Here we are, folks. One year later, Part I of BIME comes to an end. I will return with Part II soon because these chucklefucks still have much to suffer. Content warning: Panic attack. Summary: Finals week is hell, but at least it brings Keyleth and Vax closer... but for how long?
Vax was glad that finals were almost over. The week had been horribly stressful between handing out final essays, studying for exams, and giving final presentations. Vax barely had any time left to do fun activities with his sister and friends, not just during the week, but the entire month. All his professors became even stricter than usual, often forgetting their class wasn’t the only subject the students had, passing mountains of homework and scheduling essays and other projects they had to deliver and present within a tight deadline. The only good thing about that was that the final evaluation for those subjects was divided between the final exam and the projects, so even if Vax had a bad grade on a final essay, he could still make up during the exam. On Conthsen night, Vax was anxiously counting the hours left until Keyleth’s last exam the next day, not just because he missed spending time with her—fun time, not study time—but because that was the sign that exams week would be officially over in apartment 7B and that was all Scanlan would need to open the case of beer they had saved in the fridge and turn on the music.
Vax remembered Keyleth was still in class and that she would probably get home exhausted and go straight to studying without eating, so he closed his book and flicked the light off. He would make her dinner and keep her company while she ate, and then they could study together if she wanted, even though Vax wanted nothing more than to have Keyleth curled against his side on the couch while they watched a movie and he played with her hair. Vax loved taking care of Keyleth, especially by doing small gestures like making sure she ate. It didn’t bother him to cook a different meal for her or to leave a serving from dinner in the fridge. He did it because he loved her and wanted to care for her. So Vax made a fresh batch of miso soup that Keyleth could eat anytime and prepared tofu, eggs and vegetables so that he only had to add noodles to the soup base when she got home. It would be warm and full of nutrients for her.
In hindsight, Vax should have noticed the first sign that something wasn’t right when Keyleth slammed the door and slid her back against it. But Vax was so distracted finishing Keyleth’s dinner that he thought she was just tired, and he certainly didn’t think anything else of her tight hug when she entered the kitchen. Keyleth was usually quiet on days she got home late from school, too socially exhausted to hold a full conversation, so Vax sat by her side at the table while she ate and let her fumble with his fingers on her lap.
The second sign came when Vax asked her if she wanted company to study and she said no. He still didn’t think anything of it because Keyleth sometimes asked him to study alone, which Vax understood. He could be quite distracting. So he kissed her forehead and headed back to his room, letting her know the door was unlocked if she needed anything.
Vax finally realized something was wrong when Percy and Vex returned. They were talking in hushed voices as they stepped into the room, and when Vax heard Keyleth’s name, he turned on his chair to look at his sister and his roommate.
“What’s wrong with Keyleth?” Vax asked. Vex’ahlia was still holding Trinket’s leash, even though the massive shaggy dog was nowhere to be seen.
“She’s acting weird. She barely acknowledged our presence.” Percy answered instead. “Do you know if something happened?”
“She was fine when she got home. Maybe she’s tired. Finals week has been hard on all of us.”
“Keep an eye on her, brother,” Vex said. She crossed the room to kiss the crown of his head, then gave Percy a peck on the lips and left.
Vax didn’t need to be told twice to keep an eye on Keyleth, especially when he looked at the clock and saw how late it was. He knew her classes started early the following morning and that if someone didn’t force Keyleth to close her books, she would stay up all night studying. Again, it didn’t bother him to go out of his way to make sure Keyleth got some rest. Everything he did was for her own good, even if it meant he would have to stay up until late.
Vax wasn’t surprised when he saw the mess on the kitchen table. Books were spread open, notes were scattered, a colorful rainbow of highlighters littered on top of papers, and an empty mug of coffee sat on the table. Everyone else had some level of stress before exams—even Grog and Scanlan—but no one beat Keyleth’s anxiety.
“Keeks?” Keyleth wasn’t at the table anymore.
In hindsight, things should have gone differently. Vax should have seen the signs, but he didn’t, so he was naturally concerned when he saw Keyleth sitting on the floor, her back against the wall and arms wrapped around her knees with her head hiding between them, rocking back and forth with shallow, rapid breaths giving way to sobs, and then chokes.
“Keyleth?” Vax called again, kneeling in front of her. When Keyleth didn’t answer, Vax softly placed his hands on her head and lifted it, seeing tears falling down her cheeks and the panic in her eyes. “Kiki, what’s wrong?” He asked. Keyleth didn’t react to him, as if she hadn’t noticed Vax in front of her. Instead, she tried to put her head back between her knees, but Vax held her steady. He knew what was going on: Keyleth was having a panic attack. He had helped Vex’ahlia through them after Saundor and Syldor, and he had forced himself out of a few himself, so he knew what to do.
“Deep breaths,” Vax cooed. Keyleth was still panting and choking, so Vax cradled her cheeks and asked her again, more firmly this time, to take deep breaths. The touch of skin-to-skin seemed to be enough to bring Keyleth out of it at least a bit, just enough for her to start mumbling incomprehensible words.
“What’s wrong, Kiki? I can’t understand,” Vax tried again. Keyleth was still rocking back and forth, still breathing hard, her arms still tight around her knees. She mumbled something again, and, this time, Vax made up the words “can’t” and “it.”
“You’re safe, Keyleth. Take a deep breath in through your nose,” Vax said, demonstrating. Keyleth stared at him, finally stopping her rocking. “And then out,” he exhaled.
“I–can’t,” Keyleth mumbled. She brought her hands to her chest and throat, leaving her legs free.
“You can’t breathe?” Vax asked, concerned. Keyleth had enough strength to nod, so he extended her legs in front of her and straddled them.
“Yes, you can. Breathe with me,” Vax whispered, placing her hands on top of his heart inside his shirt. Keyleth’s hands were burning, but her fingertips were freezing. “In–” Vax took a deep breath in, which Keyleth finally copied. “–and out…” They both exhaled. “Let’s go again.” Vax kept whispering and rubbing his thumbs across Keyleth’s cheeks. One of his hands slid to the loose hair behind her ears, where he started rubbing reassuringly, always making sure to breathe slowly and guide her.
“You’re doing great,” Vax whispered when Keyleth let out a soft sob. It was an improvement from the raspy chokes that made Vax fear for her life. The hand left on her cheek lowered to her neck, where he found her pulse point and remained guiding her breathing. After a while, Keyleth’s sobs lessened enough that Vax felt comfortable to try something different.
“Can you speak?” Vax asked. Keyleth mumbled a ‘yes’ with a ragged voice. “That’s good. Can you tell me five things that you see?”
“You, the floor, chairs, the table, and the trash can,” Keyleth enumerated. Vax nodded with each word, keeping his breath steady to guide her.
“Very good, Kiki. Keep breathing with me, okay? Now, tell me four things you can touch.”
Keyleth moved her frozen fingertips on Vax’s chest. “You, the floor, the wall…” Keyleth paused. She grabbed Vax’s hand on her hair and brought it to her chest, setting it right atop her heart, and said, “And your hand.” She finished with a long exhale.
“You’re doing great, Kiki,” Vax whispered lovingly. He leaned in, pressed a kiss to her forehead and then rested his brows against hers. “How about three things you can hear?”
“Your heart,” Keyleth said without hesitation. Vax smiled at that. She must have been truly focused on his heartbeat, which was good. “Your breathing and the fridge.” Keyleth’s breaths were slower now, almost back to normal, but Vax knew he had to finish the exercise before he could let her go.
“Good job. Can you tell me two things you can smell?”
“You…”
“And?”
“Just you. All of you,” Keyleth replied bashfully. Vax chuckled but accepted the answer since he was so close to her.
“Last one. What can you taste?” Vax asked, but before Keyleth could answer, he kissed her deeply, and against his expectations, Keyleth’s tongue found his. She hummed and pulled away, leaning her forehead against Vax’s again. Her body relaxed, shoulders sagging with relief, but her hand still remained on Vax’s chest, now fully warm.
“Home,” Keyleth answered. With her breathing and heartbeat back to normal, Vax allowed himself to relax and remove the hand on her neck (although he kept the hand on her chest). “Thank you.”
“Come here,” Vax pulled in closer and wrapped both arms around her, bringing her head to his shoulder. Keyleth leaned into his embrace and sighed deeply. “What happened?”
“I can’t do it. I’m so exhausted,” Keyleth admitted.
“You only have one exam left tomorrow, right?” Keyleth nodded in response. “You need to sleep. You’ve been studying non-stop for a month, Kiki. You’re more than ready. And if you’re not, it’s not the end. You can make up for it in a few weeks.”
“I can’t. I have to go home,” Vax’s heart leaped in his chest. It’s not that he forgot that all his roommates were leaving, but it hadn’t dawned on him that Keyleth would also be going home for an entire month. “I don’t think I can pass the exam tomorrow.”
“You will,” Vax whispered against her hair. The knot on his throat was so tight he couldn’t breathe from what Vax knew was a sign of anxiety for being alone, of not having Keyleth close to him. “I believe in you, Kiki. You’re going to ace it. But you need sleep, and I won’t take a no for an answer, so you’re coming with me.” Vax pulled away and raised to his feet. He helped Keyleth up and started leading her out of the kitchen, but she stopped. “Don’t look at the table, just follow me.” He said. He waited for a sign of acknowledgment, which came in the form of a silent nod, and led her by the hand toward his bedroom door.
“I—Percy,” Keyleth tried to stop him, but Vax shook his head as he opened the door.
“It’s okay,” Vax mouthed, bringing her inside with him. Keyleth looked at him confused and at Percy’s empty bed. “He’s in the shower,” Vax explained, seeing her look. He closed the bedroom door behind him and opened his wardrobe to grab a wrinkled T-shirt.
“Put this on,” Vax handed Keyleth the shirt. She nodded and started stripping out of her clothes, which made Vax take a step back. He stammered an apology and turned, not before he saw the soft white fabric of her bra.
“It’s okay,” Keyleth said, half amused, half tired. Vax heard the rustling of clothes and then her soft, “You can turn now,” and when he looked, she had also removed her pants and was standing in just his t-shirt that fell just at the top of her hips. Vax’s face heated, but he tried to play it cool and gestured at his bed. Keyleth didn’t wait to be told twice. She pulled back his blankets and laid with her back to the wall.
“Good girl,” Vax smirked. Keyleth blushed slightly at that. “I’ll be right back.”
Vax returned a few minutes later, after finding Percy and letting him and Vex know what happened with Keyleth. She was still awake, lying on her side with her knees pulled high to her stomach, but she didn’t speak, nor did she move when Vax started undressing with no reservations.
“It’s not like you haven’t seen me shirtless before,” Vax said, dropping his shirt in the hamper. He unbuttoned and unzipped his pants but looked at Keyleth before he took them off. “Don’t get any funny ideas,” He dropped his pants to his ankles and took them off, then added, “You need to sleep.”
“Can you stay like that?” Keyleth asked bashfully. Vax cocked his head inquisitively, and she explained, “Skin-to-skin contact helps me calm. Can we do that?”
“If you’re comfortable with that,” Vax replied, lying next to Keyleth, wearing only his boxers. Keyleth covered him and then sat up on the bed. Vax tried to keep his gaze away while she undressed, but he could still see her from the corner of his eyes.
“Will you hold me?” Keyleth asked in a whisper once she was lying back on the bed. Vax swallowed hard and nodded, opening his arms. “Come here.” Keyleth laid her head on his shoulder and nuzzled her nose against him. The rest of her body was pressed against Vax’s, their legs entangled. Vax kissed the tip of her head as he wrapped an arm around her waist, doing his best to avoid thinking about the fact that they were touching from head to toe.
“Does this help?” He asked. Keyleth nodded. “Okay. Get some sleep. I’m right here.”
Keyleth was fast asleep within three heartbeats, but Vax remained awake for a while longer, watching the soft movement of her shoulders rise and fall against his chest, taking in her warmth and the softness of her skin against his body. His heart was both happy and sad. Sad because Keyleth was suffering so much from finals, but happy that she trusted him enough to let him in. In her panic-filled mind, Keyleth saw him and held onto him like a lifeline. She trusted Vax to bring her back because she knew he wouldn’t rest until she was safe.
—
Keyleth woke up confused, not knowing if what she remembered from the previous night had been a dream or real. The first thing that allowed her to discern reality was the headache that always appeared after a panic attack; the second thing was the fact that she had an arm wrapped around her waist with a hand splayed on her stomach and a warm breath on her nape. The final proof Keyleth needed was the fact that she was half-naked in someone’s bed—a man, from the pressure she felt on her behind. A small moment of panic made her turn around in bed, but then she sighed in relief when she saw raven-colored hair half-covering the tanned face of Vax’ildan, who, she realized, was also half-naked. The panic eased when Keyleth remembered everything that had happened. Even though she still had some gaps in her memory, at least she knew she had asked Vax to stay like that and remembered taking off the t-shirt he had given her.
It didn’t matter that her underwear didn’t match (or that Vax saw her bare like that). Vax had seen her at her worst last night and hadn’t been scared like everyone else. Keyleth still remembered the times her panic attacks drove people away. She still heard what people called her and told her that day when she had to get dragged to the hospital by the school’s director. From that moment on, Keyleth refused to let anyone else see that vulnerable side of her, including her father (especially her father). Korrin had more things to worry about than her stupid crisis.
But Vax found her curled on the floor and helped her. The way he guided her through the panic attack with breathing and exercises made her want to cry from gratitude. No one had ever bothered to learn those to help her before, and if they knew those exercises, no one spared a second glance her way when she started choking on her breathing. The fact that Vax did that for her and forced her to rest when he knew she would drive herself to an early grave because of exams meant more than Keyleth could describe.
Everything was easier with Vax. Coming home after late classes and finding dinner ready; having company for late-night study sessions, but at the same time someone who would remind her—and force her—to take breaks and take care of her needs; having someone to relax with, to laugh and talk and cry over her problems. Someone who would hug her and take her in no matter what or how bad her moods were. Vax was patient with her, always willing to listen, to wait, to care for her. He never once asked for more than Keyleth was willing to give and never took without asking first. Every kiss they shared was either initiated by her or after Keyleth gave her consent; every hug was respectful, and even the previous night, when Keyleth undressed without saying anything, Vax had looked away out of respect. Keyleth was the luckiest woman in the world for having Vax as her friend, and she would be even luckier if she had him as her boyfriend.
Keyleth turned in bed, facing Vax, who was still sound asleep. Even with the curtains closed, she could tell dawn would break soon, which meant she didn’t have much time left in the comfortable warmth of Vax’s bed. Vax’s bed. The idea of sharing a bed with Vax didn’t scare her, nor did the sight of his body pressed hard against hers underneath the blankets. Truth be told, thinking of Vax as more than a friend made Keyleth feel butterflies in her stomach, but more than that, Keyleth felt like she needed that, the easiness of not having to remind herself that she couldn’t kiss Vax willy-nilly, that she needed a reason to hold his hand (which wasn’t actually true). Keyleth wanted all of him, especially after knowing he wasn’t scared of her panic attacks, and this time, she was sure Vax felt the same way.
Even though Keyleth had only shared a bed (and a couch) with Vax a handful of times, she loved waking up before him and seeing him sleep. Vax had told her he often had nightmares, but every time they slept together, Vax was always relaxed. Keyleth never thought much of it, but considering that sleeping at Vax’s side eased her own nightmares, maybe her being there also did the same for him. Yet another sign that dating Vax could be a good thing.
“You’re thinking too loud,” Vax grumbled as a way of greeting. Keyleth turned her head to see a smile that made her melt in place. Vax’s eyes were still half-closed and crusted with sleep, his voice was hoarse, and his hair completely disheveled on his pillow (someone forgot to braid his hair the previous night).
“Good morning,” Keyleth greeted, turning to kiss the tip of his nose. Vax opened his eyes, giving her a look and a smile that made her toes curl. He slid his hand up to the middle of her back, underneath the band of her bra, and pulled her closer to him, kissing the tip of her nose, then one cheek, the other, and, when he was about to pull away, Keyleth brought his face in to kiss him slowly on the lips.
“Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?” Vax asked, rubbing his nose against hers. Keyleth shrugged, “I just felt like it.”
“Did you sleep well?” Vax asked her, scratching his nails up and down her spine. Keyleth squirmed with the feeling, getting closer to him, and nodded. “Me too,” He said.
“I don’t want to get up, but I have to study before the exam today.”
“No studying, Kiki. You’ve done all you could. Studying today will not help any more than the rest of the month.”
“I need to review every—”
“No,” Vax stopped Keyleth by turning her on her back and straddling her hips. “Absolutely not. I’m going to make sure you do nothing but relax until your exam later, even if I have to stay up here all day.”
Keyleth’s entire body flushed red. She could feel him pressing against her like this, even more when he supported his weight on his hands at each side of her head and bent over to bring his face close to hers. They were painfully close and in a very suggestive position.
“What’s it going to be, Kiki? Are you going to do as I say, or do I have to make sure you—” Vax leaned further down, supporting himself on his elbows now. “—don’t go anywhere?”
“I–I don’t know,” Keyleth mumbled softly. Two could play the game. “I really need to study.” Just as she intended, Vax fully lowered himself on top of her, completely locking her in place. Keyleth couldn’t even move her hands as they were pinned to her sides by his arms.
“Keyleth…” Keyleth’s body turned gooseflesh with Vax’s sultry voice and look. Her cheeks were burning and her chest was as red as a tomato.
“C–can I at least go to classes?”
Vax glared at her for a moment, then sat up straight and said, “Only if you promise you will not study anymore.”
As much as it hurt her, Keyleth knew Vax was right. A few more hours of studying wouldn’t make a difference, so she might as well try to relax. “I promise.”
Vax nodded, seemingly satisfied with it, and started to get up, but, as he did, he turned his head over his shoulder to look at Keyleth and said, “If you’re a good girl and keep your promise, I’ll reward you after dinner.”
Maybe it was because they slept so close and bare, or maybe it was the wink that Vax gave her, but Keyleth felt her entire body burn like it was about to combust into fire, and before Vax gave her a second glance, she was hiding underneath the covers, trying to keep herself from squealing.
Vax was very keen on making sure Keyleth kept her promise, either by walking her to class or meeting her at lunchtime. Keyleth knew he didn’t do it because he didn’t trust her but because Vax wanted to make sure she wasn’t overexerting herself (and also because he wanted to spend time with her). They sat at an isolated table in the cafeteria, watching the snow falling outside as they ate in silence. Keyleth almost grabbed her books out of her backpack by instinct once she was done eating her sandwich, but she stopped herself and grabbed her laptop instead.
“When are you going home?” Vax asked, looking at Keyleth above the screen of her computer.
“My flight leaves tomorrow afternoon,” Keyleth still had to pack when she got home. She somehow had to find time to do it during the party Scanlan wanted to throw before they broke for the holidays.
“I’ll take you to the airport,” Vax said nonchalantly.
Keyleth stopped typing to stare in shock at Vax. “You don’t have to. I can take a taxi.”
“I want to spend as much time as I can with you before I have to lose you for an entire month.”
Valid argument. Keyleth blushed. “I’ll be back before you know it.”
“It’s still going to be torture,” Vax sighed. He leaned back on his chair, staring her in the eyes. Keyleth kept her gaze locked on his. Ever since their date to the botanical garden, Vax had been more open about his feelings, not thinking twice or measuring his words of affection towards her. The only thing he avoided saying was the three words Keyleth was starved to hear, but, to his defense, she had been pretty clear about not being ready, and Vax was nothing if not respectful.
“I’ll call you every day. You’re going to be so tired of me, you’ll end up blocking my number,” Keyleth joked. She looked at the clock and groaned. She finished typing the edits and delivered her last essay due later.
“I’m never going to be tired of you, Kiki,” Vax said, getting up and standing behind her chair. Keyleth put her laptop back in her backpack and got to her feet, being immediately swept by an arm around her waist and a kiss on her cheek. “The day I grow tired of you is the day I die.”
Keyleth melted into his chest. Her heart was racing with an aching need to say what was on her mind, of what she almost blurted, but it wasn’t the right time, and it certainly wasn’t the right place. “I have something to tell you later,” She mustered. Vax looked at her in concern and tensed. Keyleth knew he was running every bad scenario in his mind because she certainly would be if he had told her that. “It’s nothing bad, relax,” She reassured him. Vax’s shoulders slumped and he finally let go of her waist.
“You’re going to be the death of me, Kiki.” Vax pulled away. They started heading out, not before Keyleth joked, “For my sake, I sure hope not.”
—
The party was blasting in the living room, but Keyleth took a moment of distraction from her friends to sneak back into her bedroom. Her suitcase was open on her bed, clothes strewn on every empty spot on the blanket. Most of her late autumn and early winter clothes were already packed and ready, but Keyleth still had a few things to sort through. Winter in Emon was harsher than she expected, and some of her clothes weren’t warm enough for the winter, but she had to decide if they would be good enough for Spring. She had been rummaging through her clean laundry basket for clothes to pack when she found something that didn’t belong and knew it wasn’t hers from the color alone: Vax’s black hoodie, the one with the silver wings on the back and the three daggers on the sleeve. Keyleth would recognize the sweatshirt anywhere just by the smell of the twins’ laundry detergent.
Even though black was not her color—or any color at all, in Keyleth’s opinion—and that common sense dictated that she shouldn’t steal her roommate’s clothes, the urge to put on Vax’s hoodie was stronger than any argument Keyleth could come up with, so, instead of setting the hoodie aside to give it back to its rightful owner, Keyleth pulled it over her head.
The sweatshirt was soft and comfortable, and the familiar smell made Keyleth feel like she was burrowing into Vax’s embrace, which brought back memories from the nights they shared together. Blush crept up her cheek when Keyleth imagined it was Vax’s arms that were holding her and not her own, and that it was his chest she was nuzzling, and not the neckline of the hoodie. Keyleth felt so cozy and safe that she knew she could easily fall asleep wearing the sweatshirt, no matter where she was.
Keyleth was so entranced in the feeling that she didn’t hear the door to her bedroom open and close and the sound of footsteps approaching.
“Kiki?” Vax called her. Keyleth jumped in place, realizing she hadn’t heard Vax walk in. The music and voices in the living room were still loud enough to let her know everyone else was still partying.
“Vax!”
“Are you wearing my hoodie?” Vax asked with a smirk. Keyleth’s eyes widened and she took a step back, nervously playing with the strings of the hoodie.
“I–Maybe?”
“It looks good on you,” Vax cocked his head.
“I’m sorry. It was in my laundry and I–” Keyleth looked down, trying to hide her embarrassment. “It smelled like you and it’s so cozy.”
Vax closed the distance between them, asking, “Do you want it?”
Yes. Keyleth wanted to say. When she looked up at him, she saw the same look in his eyes he always had when he wanted nothing more but to kiss her. “No,” Keyleth replied instead. She knew Vax didn’t have many clothes and she felt bad for taking his only—and favorite—hoodie. She could not take something so important from him when he had already given her so much of himself.
“Are you sure? I can buy another one.” Vax insisted, grabbing at the fabric of the pocket on her stomach.
No, you can’t. Keyleth thought. The twins’ finances were getting worse and worse by the day. Vax had told her that he and Vex would have to work the entire winter break to save up some money for the next semester. Vax could not afford another hoodie, and to be honest, Keyleth wasn’t sure if he could find one. The one she was wearing already looked like one of its kind. “I’m sure,” She said, smiling lovingly at him.
“You can borrow it then. Just make sure you bring it back when you return,” Vax offered. He tucked a piece of stray hair behind her ear and leaned in to kiss her cheek. “I promise it’s okay if you change your mind.”
“I won’t,” Keyleth answered quickly. Vax merely smirked and winked at her knowingly.
“You said you had something to tell me?”
Keyleth bit her lip. She had wanted to tell him her feelings, but now that time had finally come, she was shaking with fear that it would be too late. “I–I’ve been thinking,” Keyleth said shakily. “About what you told me that day… that you l–”
Vax smiled at her hesitation and finished her thought, “That I love you, yes.”
“Yeah,” Keyleth’s face felt too warm, her chest was too tight and she felt like she couldn’t breathe.
“Keyleth, breathe,” Vax reminded her. Keyleth’s eyes were wide open in his direction. He brought her hand to his chest, under his shirt like he had done the previous night, and started taking long, slow breaths for her to follow. Keyleth did, and when her heart rate decreased enough that she could breathe normally again, Vax reassured her, “No matter what you have to tell me, I’m not going anywhere Kiki. I’m right here. I promise I’m not leaving.”
“I know,” Keyleth replied, still shakily. Some tears appeared in the corners of her eyes, but Vax wiped them with his thumbs. “I love you, Vax. I have never felt so safe with anyone before. I’ve never felt so sure of my feelings. I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone. Last night, you showed me you weren’t scared of me and my existential crisis like everyone else is. You didn’t run away like everyone… you stayed and helped me. I don’t want to go through all that alone ever again.”
“You won’t have to, Kiki. I’ll always be with you,” Vax said, hugging her tightly. “I love you so much, Keyleth. I just want to make you happy, even if that means we’ll remain as friends.”
Keyleth pulled away to look Vax in the eyes and said, “I don’t want to be just your friend anymore.” This time, it was Keyleth’s turn to wipe the tears forming in the corner of Vax’s eyes. “Unless you changed your mind about—”
“Shut up,” He interrupted her with a kiss. Keyleth chuckled against his lips, then returned the kiss.
“Can we keep it between us until I tell my dad?” Keyleth asked when she pulled away.
“I can try, but I’m pretty sure my sister will smell it a mile away.” Keyleth snorted and turned back to her suitcase, resuming her packing. Vax waited, hemming and hawing at something and biting his lip until he finally blurted out, “Do you want to sleep with me tonight? Just sleep, I promise.”
Percy had left for the airport soon after Keyleth got home, having waited only long enough to say goodbye to her. She had cried a bit on his shoulder for already missing her best friend, but she understood his need to go home to his younger sister as soon as he could, but not before Percy promised Keyleth to bring her something from Whitestone. Sleeping with Vax would not be a problem without Percy to worry about, and, to be honest, Keyleth knew if she slept on her bed, she would probably stay awake all night, tossing and turning with anxiety. Really there were more pros about the invitation than cons.
“Just sleep?” Keyleth asked. Vax nodded, biting his lip nervously. “I think that’s a good idea. I sleep better when I’m with you and I need to rest for the flight tomorrow.”
“Yes, of course. That’s the only reason why I asked…” Vax teased, wrapping his arms around her waist from the back.
“Mhm. You’re so concerned about me, aren’t you?” Keyleth teased back, looking over her shoulder. Vax smirked at her, gave her a soft peck on the lips, and said, “Of course. It has nothing to do with the fact that I just want to sleep with my girlfriend.”
Keyleth turned around in Vax’s arms and wrapped hers around his neck. Her smile was so big her cheeks hurt. “Call me that again, please.”
“Girlfriend,” Vax whispered against her lips and kissed her. Keyleth hummed, still smiling as they kissed, and when they broke apart, she pushed Vax away with a chuckle and said, “Alright. You need to leave because I have to finish packing.”
“But–” Vax pouted, trying to grab her again.
“No buts,” Keyleth put her hand on Vax’s shoulders, turned him away and guided him to her bedroom door. “You are a very yummy distraction, but the faster I pack, the faster I’ll go back to the party.” Vax stood outside Keyleth’s bedroom door, staring agape at her. Keyleth blew him a kiss before she closed the door and returned to her packing with the biggest smile and feeling of lightness she had ever felt in her life.
Vax was her boyfriend.
—
Vax was an idiot. A fool in love. And against all odds, the one he loved loved him back. For most of his life, Vax had heard all about how useless he was, how he would never amount to anything, how no one would ever love him, so much so that he believed it with his own heart. Vax never thought he would be in this situation when he started having feelings for Keyleth, he never thought he was deserving of anyone’s love, much less hers, but here he was, lying in bed with a halo of wildfire hair spread on his pillow, Keyleth’s cheek pressing warmly against his chest, and her long and nimble fingers spread out on his bare stomach. Vax was a selfish man because even though he had to wake Keyleth up soon, he wanted to steal these last moments of quiet and safety with her. The early hours of the rest of the morning would be reserved for silent breakfasts and last-minute packing and double-checking of luggage, then they would both catch a taxi to the airport, where Vax would finally let Keyleth go.
No. Vax would steal these last precious moments with his girlfriend. But because all good things must come to an end, the alarm clock destroyed those final moments. Keyleth sat up on the bed, still half-asleep, but already half-anxious. The blankets pooled on her lap revealed the soft blue workout bra she had picked for the night and the flight (Vax hadn’t complained when Keyleth started taking her clothes off and dove under his blankets, and he certainly didn’t complain when he followed her in just his underwear. She was right, after all. Skin-to-skin contact was more relaxing than just cuddling), and when Keyleth pulled them away, Vax mustered all his self-control to not follow the lines of her back down to where her hips raised from the bed as Keyleth crawled over his legs.
“Shit, shit, shit,” Keyleth swore as she started putting on the clothes she left prepared on Percy’s bed. Vax remained in bed, lying on his side, watching her flutter around the room with a smile. “I still have to pack all my toiletries and brush my hair. I forgot to put it in a braid last night–” Vax didn’t say anything. Keyleth was mostly talking to herself rather than with him, and he let her be. It helped her to go through her to-do list out loud.
“Ugh. My hair is a mess,” Keyleth cried, combing her fingers through her locks, getting them tangled in the knots. She turned to Vax, who was still smiling fondly, and cocked her head to one side. “What are you smiling about?”
“You,” Vax said, sitting up. He stretched his arms high above his head and saw the way Keyleth’s eyes dropped from his face to his torso. “You’re adorable. You still have plenty of time. Grab your hairbrush and come here.” Vax said, leaning back against his headboard and patting the blanket between his legs. Keyleth rolled her eyes but did as he said, so Vax started combing and braiding her hair for her. When he finished tying the braid with an elastic, he pulled it softly and kissed Keyleth’s neck.
“Stop it,” she scolded him playfully but turned away to face him and kiss him passionately. “Thank you.”
“Anytime, my love.”
“I’m going to finish packing now,” Keyleth said, giving him a sad look before she got up and headed out of the bedroom. Vax stretched again (it didn’t feel as satisfying without Keyleth ogling him) and started getting dressed. He knew Keyleth wouldn’t make herself anything to eat before her flight, so he headed into the kitchen where he brewed a pot of coffee (which surely all his other roommates would be happy for since most of them were leaving, too), and prepared Keyleth and himself a quick breakfast. By the time Keyleth arrived in the kitchen with her fully packed suitcase and backpack, Vax was leaning against the counter, stirring a bowl of apple, cinnamon oatmeal with honey and walnuts.
“I made you breakfast,” He announced. Keyleth grimaced, but Vax said he wouldn’t take a no for an answer before she opened her mouth to reject the meal. They ate in silence, sitting next to each other at the table. Vax’s free hand rested on Keyleth’s knee the entire time, rubbing circles with his thumb with the intent to help her relax. Keyleth was wearing his hoodie (which Vax was trying to ignore because it made him want to hold her hostage and not let her go back home), but it was missing something.
“Kiki, can you take that off?” He asked her. Keyleth gave him a look as if to say there’s no way I’m taking this sweater off ever in my life, but Vax insisted, wiggling his fingers, “Please? I’ll bring it right back.” She finally complied, so Vax ran to his bedroom, where he sprayed it with his cologne, and ran back to the kitchen, handing it back to Keyleth.
“Here, I think you’ll like it better,” He said as Keyleth put the sweatshirt back on. He was right because Keyleth buried deeper into it with a pleased smile.
“Thank you,” Keyleth said, getting up. She fumbled slightly with the strings, hesitating for a moment, then finally found the courage to pull Vax by the opening of his jacket and kiss him. “This will make it slightly more bearable.”
“I figured it would,” Vax said, brushing her cheek. “We have to go. Are you ready?” Keyleth nodded. Vax placed the dirty dishes in the sink to wash later and helped Keyleth with her suitcase and backpack.
Unfortunately, there wasn’t much traffic on the way to the airport, so the ride was short. Vax kept Keyleth’s hand in his the entire ride, only letting go of it when they arrived so she could pay for the taxi and when she checked into her flight. They still had a few minutes before she had to go through security, which Vax decided to spend glued to his girlfriend.
“I’ll call you every day,” Keyleth promised. Vax nodded. He tried to keep his sadness down, but it was hard. This was the first time he and Keyleth would be apart for so long, and it was especially hard because they hadn’t had the chance to be boyfriend and girlfriend for long.
“I’ll call you if you don’t call me. And I’m going to text you all the time so you don’t forget me.” Vax teased her.
“Oh, please. You’re unforgettable,” Keyleth teased back and kissed him, but then her smile faded. “Unless you’re the one who’s going to forget me…”
“Do you really think so?” Keyleth shook her head, but she still bit her lip nervously. “Of course not. I’m going to be here when you come back. In fact, I might stay and sleep at the airport to make sure I’m here on time for when you return.”
Keyleth laughed. They both knew there was some truth behind the joke. Vax really would do something like that. “I’ll be back before you know it,” She said, hugging him tightly. Vax squeezed her as hard as his heart was breaking. His eyes were warming with tears, his throat was closing, he couldn’t swallow anymore, and his vision started darkening. Vax wasn’t ready to let go of Keyleth yet, not when he had just finally gotten her. The week they were apart as friends had already been horrible for both, and Vax knew this time would only be worse.
“I already miss you,” He confessed. “You’ve been my girlfriend for twelve hours and I already have to say goodbye to you… it’s not fair.”
“I’m sorry,” Keyleth swallowed hard. Vax saw she was suffering just as much as he was. “I’ve had this trip booked since the beginning of the semester, otherwise I would stay with you.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just grumpy.”
“I’m sorry it took me so long to get my head out of my ass,” Keyleth’s eyes were starting to fill with tears, but Vax wiped them before they could fall.
“I would have waited all my life. I will wait all my life for you, Keyleth, and if I die without you by my side, then I will wait in the afterlife for as long as it takes until we’re finally together.”
“Vax–”
“I love you, my sunshine.”
“I love you too, my grumpy raven,” Keyleth whispered against Vax’s lips before she kissed him longingly. “I have to go now,” She said, adjusting the straps on her shoulder.”
“Text me when you land?”
“Of course. I’ll miss you.”
“I’m right here with you,” Vax pulled the drawstrings of her hoodie. “I’ll always be with you, love.” Keyleth nodded. Neither could stop their tears from falling anymore, no matter how much they wiped at their eyes.
“I’ll always be with you, too, Vax. I’m yours, forever and ever, and always.”
“And I’m yours, Keyleth. Forever and ever, and always.”
In hindsight, Vax should have known it would be the last time he kissed his girlfriend for a while, and Keyleth should have taken the five extra minutes to savor the taste of Vax’s tongue on hers. In retrospect, things could have been so much different than they were, had either of them known what would be waiting on the other side. But something deep inside Vax, a dark pitch that he had been trying to escape for years and that he finally thought he had gotten rid of with the help of Keyleth, crept closer and closer until, eventually, it swallowed Vax’ildan whole.
That is the problem with last kisses. Opposite of first kisses, last kisses aren’t usually memorable because one doesn’t always know it happened until it’s too late, and when one is finally faced with the truth, one can’t stop wishing they had just five more minutes of it.
Just five more minutes with her. Just five more minutes with him.
Wishing they had just five more minutes together.
#critical role#cr fic#vox machina#vaxleth#modern au#college au#be in my eyes#I'm not crying. WE are crying!#I wrote this chapter when I was on vacation and it saved me from a panic attack at dinner with my family#this is really hard to post.#aaaah ok. I can't be a lame butt. i'll make a cry post later#I LOVE YOU ALL. THANK YOU FOR READING MY STORY. YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME.
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I love the idea of daddy Sunday pampering you, choosing your clothes for you, only the best for his baby, and helping you get dressed while you are to sleepy, to follow him around to his social events, perched on his arm like a good girl. It makes me giddy!!
ooooh yes yes yes!!! i completely agree hehe <3 because the thing about sunday is that he absolutely would pamper the everliving heck outta you. as a(n ethical/philosophical) hedonist, sunday believes in, loves, and cherishes the finer things in life—all of life’s little pleasures, materialistic or otherwise. a dominant caregiver role is so perfect for him, since having complete control over you and being in a position to take care of you—to manage your happiness, to make sure you are in the absolute best conditions and positions that you possibly can be—alleviates a ton of his anxiety and makes him feel validated and valuable.
he loves being able to dress you up like his own personal doll every morning, and it’s even better when you’re giggling and telling him that the outfit he has curated for the day is so pretty, Daddy and you love it so much, Daddy and it makes you feel like a princess, Daddy! <3 see? he’s murmuring to you as he smooths silk down your body, palms tender and careful, as if he’s dealing with the most precious porcelain. Daddy always knows best.
and it’s true; Daddy does always know best. Daddy consciously takes into account both yours and his personal preferences when it comes to your clothing and accessories, ensuring that you are both always happy with the outcome. Daddy is perfect at composing beautiful outfits that only add to the piece of art you already are, accentuating your natural features. and this is excellent, because you are his favourite accessory—the one thing he never leaves the house without, the one thing he absolutely needs on his person at all times, both hands tucked snuggly in the crook of his bent elbow, pressed to his ribs or overlayed with his free hand, his fingers curling over your own.
you are an instant, natural, pure anti-anxiety, your mere presence grounding him, your touch tethering him to your peace, keeping his heart calm and his head clear, bathed in your everlasting light and love. your soul, irrevocably intertwined with his own, empowers and uplifts him, and he draws strength and stability from it. he always matches his outfits to your own, so the two of you look like a flawless pair, a pristine set, incomplete without the other. it’s a subtle claim of ownership, a nonverbal message to anyone who lays eyes upon you—you are his, he is yours, together you create one whole.
#I LOVE HIM ANON I LOVEEEEEE HIMMMMMMMM#like#you don't unDERSTAND#he is all i think about all day every day#it's an actual illness like#i listen to my selfship playlist on repeat all day every day#i'm writing about him every moment i get#i'm so !!!!!!! fucking obsessed#thank u for this ask aaaah <33333#i hope ur doing gr8 bb!!!#have a wonderful friday and enjoy ur weekend!!#inky.sunday#inky.bb#clari gets mail#tw:daddy kink#tw daddy kink
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THEY HAD NO RIGHT TO LOOK LIKE THIS IN SUCH A SILLY EPISODE......
#LOOK AT GARNET IN SMOKING LIKE OMFGGGGGGGG#PEARL???? WEREN'T YOU A GIRL FAILURE STOP LOOKING COOL#AMETHYST YOU'RE SO CUTE EITH THAT SILLY ASS HAT OMGGG AKANAKS#I LOVE THEM ALL AAAAH#CRYSTAL GEMS? MORE LIKE CRYSTAL SLAYYY#crystal gems#amethyst#pearl#garnet#steven universe#yoruyapping
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