#love letters to myself

[etherealspacejelly]

it is ok to be passionate about things actually

its ok to get so excited you bounce up and down and flap your hands

its ok that 'silly' or trivial things mean more to you than most people

im sorry that you were told so many times as a child that "no one cares" or "can we talk about something else for once?"

your joy is not a burden

[sunkissed-summerdaze]

Dear you, I'm searching for you my dear old friend. My younger self. The little girl who strives to be free. I promise she will walk among the light again. Feet on the ground flying high into the sky to reach the dreams she's spent countless night and days, day and nights, hoping for a better world, searching for one where she is free. Your older self, -E.S.

Wed, Aug. 23rd / 2023 6:41 a.m.

[wonderlustfae]

I didn’t forget me today❣️🌹💫

[slightly-unhinged-femme]

Sometimes I would give the world

Just to have someone

Tell me what’s wrong with me

Why am I unloveable

Why am I alone

[caprine-bees]

I really wish people would talk to teens about how one day they will be an adult member of the community. The people around them will respect them just for existing, because that's how society between individuals works. Not everyone, but most people. You will be a regular at the coffee shop, you will have inside jokes with local people because you happen to run into them whenever something dumb happens for some reason. You will drop by your coworkers house to borrow a weed-wacker, you will have people you hardly know making eye contact at the grocery store. And it's no longer bad or scary or intimidating, because you're not someone trying to fight just to survive in a big grown up world anymore. You did your time, and you made the grown up world your own. It belongs to you now. Getting your mail and buying groceries and walking your dog makes you a member of your community equal to the others. The world is not as hateful as it feels online. It gets better.

[meltedfuckingmarshmallow]

dykes in boxers i love you

[complaints-from-poland]

sure, it's not exactly ideal that my relatives are assholes that i will probably never come out to, but it really - really - is their loss. being a part of my life and knowing the real me is a privilege. they worked hard to not deserve it.

and i'm starting to realise they are not that important to me. i really miss parental figures in my life, but my biological parents don't nor ever will deserve to be them. i don't want to come out to them, to talk to them about me and my life and things and people i love because they don't matter. i can find better people to be my family, ones that will respect and love me. in fact i already have.

[rebellum]

Shout out to all my genderfluid, nonbinary, and otherwise gender queer baddies who aren't shapeshifters and who just look the same whether they are dressed masc or fem <3 while it can be fun to use makeup in different ways, it's not necessary to use it to represent yourself authentically

[aqalaxywithinher]

having an itch called "wanting love and affection"

[xxwritteninangstxx]

Dear 23 almost 24 year old self,

I know things are currently rough right now. You're holding on to the smallest sliver of hope that things will work out and that it will get better. But it doesnt and that's okay! You'll put your foot down and decide you're better off.

You dont know it yet, but in a few years, you're gonna break in a way you should have never felt and I am so sorry for that. You'll believe you're okay and that you can make it through it all. But you dont. You'll learn things down the road that you were supressing. You'll learn just how badly you were hurt even if you refused to believe it at first. The pieces you were holding on so tightly to will fall through and shatter. But in your moment of overwhelming darkness, you asked for help. I know how hard it is to do just that but you get better. You fight it in ways that I am proud of you for.

The heartbreak, the anger, the denial and self loathing over the next few years will diminish. You'll find your confidence (more than you've felt in a very long time). Even that anxiety you feel (in the furture) going up and visiting your sister and the kids on that off chance you'll some how run into each other will stop. You'll genuinely smile more. You'll laugh again. You'll set up boundaries that will leave you feeling at peace with yourself. You'll get irritated and annoyed with the constant 'But you'll change your mind' phrases coming from others. But I promise you, you havent changed your mind yet and you haven't felt the need to change your mind since making that decision (after a few dates, and being ghosted of course).

You've adopted the manatra of 'I'm a strong independent woman and I need no man.' and you use it almost religiously. You learned more about yourself in this time. Learned to fix and build things that you'd never thought you would or ever need to. You're building a life for yourself in an unexpected way.

I will admit that our life isnt at all what you pictured it to be at 30. But you need to know that you are happy. You'll make plans to start your own family and you'll get your life together as best as you can. I know at times things get discouraging, and you'll find yourself start to spiral once again. Please know that it works itself out in one way or another.

And as science has explained. Its been 7 years and now not a single cell in your body has been touched by him.

You're free and let me tell you. Its the best fucking feeling you can ever experience.

Love,

The 30 almost 31 version of yourself.

[mai-library]

I think there is terror in not knowing who you are. Not simple fear where you are wondering about the unknown, but an all consuming fire that eats at you because you do not know how good you are.

[sunkissed-summerdaze]

Dear you, Thank you to all the past versions of myself. You did the best you could when you thought all hope was lost. Because you know, we're still here...

-E.S. Fri, July. 28th. / 2023 2:45 p.m.

[the-amber-droid-dreams]

[ID: indecisor reblogged : #do you fucking promise op #please ]

listen. aging into your thirties rocks. yes your joints get a little creaky. yes you can’t sleep in a pretzel on the floor anymore after a concert or a convention. and you lose some friends. but the thing is that you sort out who your real friends are and you sort out who you really are. and you get to see your friends settling into careers they like, and adopt new dogs and cats, and you find a job you can stand, and get really good at arts and crafts, and maybe that book you loved as a kid gets a movie deal and it doesn’t suck, and you learn to like new food and bake your own bread, and you realize that the great portfolio of self harm scars you all used to curate are going white with age and not updated, and half your friends are a different gender now and so much happier and maybe you are too, and you know who you are, and that it’s a journey and not a revelation. it’s a direction you’re headed, and you’re enjoying the trip.

reaching your 30′s rocks. and i’m hearing good things about what comes next, too.

[caprine-bees]

I always forget that masc people are expected to embody edward cullen. Then I come to tumblr dot com

[krakenprince]

O Wretched Starlight Porcelain, blood-smeared and slick with liqour on the floor,

Shatter like desperate screams and forever infect us with pains unquenchable that writhe within ourselves to make coarse agony of all they row against

O Wretched Starlight of the broken and directionless violence, O Starlight most loathsome and hungry, O Starlight of white sunbeams and bitter vomit and eclipsing, fulminating aches, Divinity Wretched & Reviled, Murder Me.

[the-amber-droid-dreams]

[ID: a tweet from @ weedcatholic that reads : if u r transgender u have to live. if u accomplish something else then good. if u accomplish nothing else then good. but u have to live. END ID]

I’m not exaggerating when I say this post changed my life. Seeing this as a terrified self hating 17 year old was like finding a fresh water lake in the middle of the Sahara.