christiannerd

[christiannerd]

This is so wholesome

okay so i work in the deli of a grocery store, yeah? and today i got this guy who came up with his two twin children, around five years old. he walks up to the counter, carrying one kid in each arm, and loudly goes "oh, no, i forgot what i wanted!" and turns to the boy in his left arm and, in a perfect blues clues style voice, goes "caleb, do you remember what i wanted?" and the boy goes "half pound of yellow cheese!"

i, obviously, say "you've got it little sir!" and slice up half a pound of yellow american cheese, handing it to the little boy, who looks it over, nods, and tucks it in his lap.

then the man goes "well, we can't just have cheese on our sandwiches. but what else can we put on there?" and the little gurl in his other arm goes "half pound of ham!" so i nod and say "yes ma'am! what kind?" and she points at a random cut of turkey, so her father nods and says "like she said, honey ham!" i cut half a pound of honey ham, hand it to the little lady, she looks it over, nods and puts it in her lap.

then the man goes "now, what should we have for the side?" and the kids both simultaneously start cheering "macking cheese!!!" and the man spins on his heel and marches off, presumably to find the macking cheese.

later, the little boy comes wandering back to the counter while his father looks on and loudly and proudly proclaims that he wants to know where the mustard is. i point him to the correct aisle, he nods, says "thank you mister deli woman" and walks away.

[christiannerd]

Credit: @pet_foolery

[christiannerd]

[christiannerd]

[christiannerd]

[christiannerd]

“surely this will not cause my chronic illness to flare up,” i say, actively doing something that has never failed to flare my chronic illness

[christiannerd]

Remember, those 'arrogant, out of touch, soulless, slave-driving Jedi' encouraged the clones to forge individual identities beyond just numbers and a uniform look. They valued independent thought, and wanted these men to be treated with dignity and empathy. They were forced to use this army, but were determined to lift up the humanity of the clones as much as they possibly could within the circumstances.

[christiannerd]

Yknow, faculty lore dropping would be actually concerning. Carmen's probably used to hearing the most questionable, police investigation-worthy shit and just not caring because she's been told this stuff since she was two.

"yeah back in my day i used to be the one who hid the bodies 'cause i knew this one morgue employee-"

"damn thats crazy please go back to making me a snack parental figure number 3"

[christiannerd]

“No pain no gain”

Well I’m in a lot of pain and I’m not gaining anything except new chronic diagnoses sooooooo

[christiannerd]

[christiannerd]

I have this headcanon that Padmé purposely flirts with Anakin in front of OW and Yoda sometimes because she loves the reaction she gets out from him, watching him stumble over some of his words and completely blanking because she blew him a kiss.

Also love the idea of Padmé likes teasing Anakin about how much other male senators try to woo her because she loves seeing him get so possessive over her and watch him play at the “jealous husband™️” game.

[christiannerd]

like. this is just not up for discussion anymore. a LOT of gentiles, whether they realize it or not, and whether they would like to admit it or not, are using “zionists” to mean “jews.” particularly ashkenazi jews. this is happening. it has been happening for decades. if you say it’s not, you are literally just wrong. you don’t get to use repurposed soviet-era antisemitism and then try to gaslight us as if you just saying “i’m not antisemitic, i don’t mean jews” magically absolves you from being blatantly antisemitic and using “zionists” as a euphemism for “jews.”

[christiannerd]

This is the first time I've reblogged something that is clearly from jumblr. I'm a little nervous, but here goes.

Israel will never be responsible for antisemitism unless in like a surprise turn of events they start bringing in laws which harms jews.

If you think that Israel's existence or actions gives reason for people to be antisemitic then that is a you issue for justifying antisemtism, not Israel's issue.

[christiannerd]

• Fidgeting and stuttering do NOT always indicate that someone is nervous.

• Avoiding eye contact does NOT always mean someone is lying.

• Having a hard time focusing does NOT always mean someone is lazy.

• Carrying around a stuffed animal or blanket does NOT make someone childish.

• Poor motor skills is NOT a direct indication of intelligence.

Not everyone fits into your box. Deal with it.

[christiannerd]

Random story thought: What if a fantasy story where there's humans and elves, who are less like different nationalities and/or "human, but in a different font", but more like the difference between dogs and wolves? Like they resemble humans, but are very, very clearly not human. And half-elves, like wolfdogs, are known to be theoretically possible, but so improbable and rare that they might as well be a myth. Like everybody's school had that one kid who loves lying for attention who keeps insisting that they actually know somebody who's a real half-elf for real.

And in the extremely rare case where their friend of a friend who's "totally actually a real half-elf" even exists at all, 99 times out of 100, the aforementioned suspected hybrid is just a 100% full human who's unusually tall, beautiful and autistic. Something that can definitely fool someone who's never seen a real half-elf, and is willing to believe that this friend's mom actually for real fucked an elf (instead of getting hunted for sport, and possibly eaten, which is the more likely outcome of encountering elves in the wild). But it's almost always just a full human with vaguely 'elvish' features.

But once in a blue moon, there actually is a real half-elf, and once you've seen one, you won't mistake a full human for one of them again. They're gangly, not just tall but long-limbed in a way that humans are not, their speech is strangely composed as if they learned their first language as a second language, and their eyes are piercing, wild, inhuman eyes, with a gaze full of strange instinctive wisdom that humans were never meant to know. Secret elvish thoughts that even they, personally, wish they didn't have.

And it sinks in to you that elves, that are so alien to you, would also find this poor creature just as strange and unsettling as you do.

[christiannerd]

PSA to "autism moms", especially the one that talked to me at work today! Just because your child is nonverbal does not mean that they cannot hear and understand you! Just because your child does not respond with words does not mean they do not know you are dehumanizing them and treating them like a badge to get pity with! Your HSN child is not your prize-winning dog or a charity case! They are a human being and deserving of respect.

Also, specifically to the one that talked to me today. Why on earth did me having a cane (and you laughing at me when I said yes I in fact do legitimately need it) constitute you dragging your nonverbal child over to tell me that you're his caretaker? I'd say I don't care, but I do because I hope they aren't stuck with you as a caregiver for much longer. You clearly have no respect for them. Don't tell me "I don't act like they aren't there, what?" when I just watched you do it. You just dragged them over and said "this is my child, they need me to help them at all times" without even looking at the (adult) child, much less asking for their permission to say anything about them. Then when I try to acknowledge their existence (and they respond by looking at me!) you say they're nonverbal in a pitying tone, as if nonverbal means vegetable. You are the pitiful one here.