#love a good black sitcom

[taweetie]

this is in promotion of their new sitcom Poppa’s House which airs Mondays on CBS, please watch!

Damon Wayans Sr & Jr

[murcielagatito]

me when im silly goofy connecting imaginary dots about ava and janine getting a lil homoerotic this season

[kaythefloppa]

I always point out Bunk’d on the list of shows with a terrible finale (since S3 was supposed to be the last but it effectively did kill the quality of the show) but having watched the final episodes of Bunk’d that aired last night, I can now actually reaffirm that its ending is shit.

Because oh my god is it shit.

[andrewisdoing]

The Jeffersons (1975-1985)

“George’s First Vacation” (Episode 2; Season 2)

[person-official]

Alternative universes are such a cool concept to me.

Like, imagine there's a universe where Colombus never sailed across the world, or even one where he was just not a shitty person. I wonder how different my life would be sometimes. Or maybe something a lot less impacting.

Maybe one where Ranboo Live or Wilbur Soot never got popular. I probably would have gotten over my DSMP faze a lot quicker than the almost three years it took me. They definitely helped shape my humor, no way I would be the same person.

Or a universe where I was actually born a boy. I think about that one a lot as well. I don't doubt my life would be easier, I don't doubt I would also be a LOT happier.

Maybe in a universe where the Library of Alexandria wasn't burned down, how much more literature would we have? How many more things would we know?

Do you think there's a Universe where there's a place that holds all the universe's secrets? I've thought of that a lot too. I've always pictured it as a ginormous library with bookshelves touching the ceiling to the floor, golden engravings etched along the side, and one of those moving ladders from Beauty and the Beast. There would be an area in the middle of the bookshelves with tables and tables seated next to each other in an infinite amount of rows. Of course, there would be two floors, maybe even a third! I think one of the floors would have a couple of restaurants. I'm picturing a Panera and a Tim Hortons, placed along the sides. The books would contain anything you could ever want to know, from the Meaning of Life to a Do it Yourself Book: Origamii Edition, to your favorite fan fiction in physical form!

[kentoxo]

Goji casually sucking his girl's tits while they're lazing on the couch 🫠 he's just a little bit obsessed with them and has to either be touching or kissing them at all times

I swear by boob lover Gojo. He's so needy and gentle, love our man. ty for the prompt, anon <3

reader(f) x bf!gojo

It had to be a Sunday where the both of you had no plans but to decay in the house.

You admitted your laziness at dawn in regards to cleaning the house, claiming it was 'clean e'nuff.' Satoru could only laugh at you, watching you waddle over to the bathroom to wake yourself up. These days were lovely, truly, since the both of you can spend time with one another without having to go outside or engage in consistent conversation. Comfortable silence was a fan favorite in your household.

Adjusting the large, black sweatshirt you stole from Satoru, you make your way towards the sofa. Satoru watched you from the kitchen, amused at watching you swipe the remote control and put on some sitcoms on the tele. "I'll order us some breakfast, m'love," your other half hums from the counter, "I'll get you your usual."

"Thank youuu," you drag from the couch, grabbing all the pillows you could to support your torso while you distracted yourself with the tv. Satoru promptly places the order and quickly saunters over to you, making himself comfy in between your legs. He, too, was in all lazy attire, with a contrasting white sweat set.

He faced you while getting adjust, his platinum locks getting messy in front of his face. You felt his stare, and his movement as his head got closer and closer to your chest. But this was such a Satoru thing that it was just normal to you. You finally felt hands snake around the sides of your body, the callouses on his fingers lifting goosebumps from the skin of your stomach.

His forearms push up the sweatshirt a bit, allowing him to put his head into it. You let out a few giggles but continue watching your show mindlessly. His hands finally reached the under crevice of your mounds, and your breath quickly hitched. As much as you say you're used to it, it always feels so good whenever Satoru loved on your chest.

Most of his hand caressed the sides of your tits while his thumbs lightly rubbed against your sternum. His cold hands were taken by the warmth of your underboob, the part of which Satoru started to kiss. You lift the sweatshirt a bit to give him better access, and emit a few moans when you felt his tongue tease the lining of your right boob.

Satoru's hot breathe made your buds harden immediately, your pelvis beginning to thrust up on his own. He was getting you in the mood and he knew it. He snickered beneath your sweatshirt, "what's wrong, y/n?"

"...Nothing," you murmur, shaking a bit from the sensation of Satoru's love on your chest.

Letting out another laugh, Satoru kisses his way towards your right tit, his lips peppering kisses around your nipple. For your left, his hand begins to gently squeeze it, with his fingers flicking your nipple every few moments. His hands were clamp and so cold, his hand cupping your boob and tugging it upward before letting it droop down again, and repeat.

"Nn-anh..." moans escape your lips, your sudden inability to keep your legs still. You kept bucking up against him, unable to still yourself from the feeling of a pool forming between your thighs.

"Can't keep still huh?" Satoru teases your squirming.

You respond with moans and a string of soft cursing. His tongue finds its way to your nipple, twirling around it as his hot breath worsened your libido. Your eyes were now on Satoru's head tented under your sweatshirt, completely forgetting about the tv.

Your lover finally wraps his lips around your nude-colored bud, with his tongue flicking your nipple in his mouse. You could feel his teeth begin to graze your nipple, but not quite giving it a nibble. He bobs his head as he sucks your nipple up before letting it go, obsessed with the way it bounces back down until it stills.

"They're so perfect," he whispers, his left hand beginning to twist your other nipple between his middle and thumb. "You're so perfect," he groans, his mouth widening to take more of your chest. Voices emanating from the tv were completely clouded by your own moans and the thought of fucking your boyfriend.

He then wraps his hand around your right tit, concentrating your mound and your nipple. He begins to attack it more aggressively, you could feel his saliva beginning to coat most of it. He gently (but impatiently) tugged at your nipple, sucking it to keep it in his mouth without having to let it go.

"God, I can't get enough of you," Satoru mutters, unable to control himself. His twisting of your left nipple becomes stronger, causing you to arch your back from the fine line between pain and pleasure. You yank off your sweatshirt completely from over his head, revealing your handsome boyfriend with your whole boob practically in his mouth.

His eyes flicker up, keeping eye contact with you as his velvet rose lips caging your nipple while his indecent tongue lapped around it. The sounds of his sucking and hummed moans make you bite your bottom lip, trying your best to cum right then and there. You'd be damned if you came before Satoru fucks the daylights out of you.

Satoru lets go of your tit with a pop! and looks down to admire your tits in the light. "Babe..." you let out with a raspy voice. Your moans roughened your voice as your chest heaved hopelessly for more air. "T-take it easy, will ya?"

He raises one of his eyebrows, a sinister smile painting his lips. "You know me, pretty girl. I can't help myself when it comes to your twin beauties."

He brings both of his hands to the sides of your boobs, and squeezes them towards each other. Your nipples almost touched one another with how close they were. With your nipples now close, Satoru licks his lips hungrily before taking them both in his mouth. You twitch under him, unable to stay still again as you felt his tongue dance between the two buds. He took them at the corners of his lips and sucked them up, letting them go just to do it again.

He teased the in between of your mounds, sticking his tongue in the tight crevice they created. He would trail kisses there, and around both of your nipples before giving each nipple their kisses. "Your turn," he whispers to your left boob, squeeze it lightly with one hand while the other begins to rub your right nipple aggressively in the tips of his fingers.

"T-'Toru, I-I'm close," you admit embarrassingly, your hands cupping your cheeks as you continue to thrust up under his weight. "P-please--!"

"Please hold it, beautiful," Satoru requests softly. His crystal blue eyes lock in with yours, lust and hunger welled up in them. His lips were open agape, his lips shiny from his own play. "I want you to cum around my dick."

You shake your head but do your best to hold it in. But you felt your pussy pulse, your body completely warm and in heat. Satoru returns to kneading them, but he keeps sucking and tugging more aggressively on your nipple. For him, it was saccharine sweet like a lollipop. His addiction to your tits was dangerous, as he sometimes doesn't know when to stop.

"Shit-- Satoru, wait!" You plead, your hands finding their way on his head. Your fingers tug desperately at his soft, white locks. But this only entices him to go harder, your nipple beginning to burn between the jaggedness of his teeth. "Sa--to--!"

Before he could continue, the doorbell rang, with the delivery man hollering outside your door. Satoru lets go of your chest, his eyes pained before rushing over to the door. You rush to pull down your sweatshirt and hold your face, attempting to calm you down as your sweet lover comes back in with breakfast and an adoring smile.

[apoemaday]

Upon Turning 25, a Small Nervous Breakdown

by Megan Williams

I thought marriage, by now, my love, a little house, our vegetable garden growing beautiful, green, rich with vines & I thought weekend getaways, friends always popping by, dinner parties, 2.a.m whispers about all the good years ahead of us & I thought about my own thoughts, unburdened, happy elevator music, self-hatred resolved like a 90s sitcom & I thought at least taxes might make sense, 401ks too, maybe I'd even remember when an oil change is due without Dad's reminder & I thought this black certainty of my own uselessness might evaporate like spilled beer (which I still hate) & I thought this birthday, a quarter century alive, might finally quiet my greed for more — more pink candles, more iMessage confetti, more Mom cooing pretty girl, more chocolate cake, more assurance that I matter, god damnit, that I am worth celebrating even without the love, the little house, the vegetable garden, just me alone, the most stubborn weed, my stupid face turned toward the sun.

[enchantedflameandflower]

Billy Butcher x you! 18+

NSFW 18+ only for smut, piv, cockwarming, creampie, also a bit of angst and self-doubt

~~~

Thank you @karlurbanism for the request, I loved writing it so much. I hope you enjoy ❤️Thank you so much to @karlurbanism and @babyfri3dric3 for giving me the ideas of how to work Karl’s white t-shirt and black jacket into a Billy story ❤️

Request summary: Reader is working with the boys but the dangers of working for Vought while trying to bring them down are making old anxieties rise to the surface. Anytime reader wants to spend quality time w/Billy, they seem to be interrupted and reader is worried he isn’t attracted to her anymore. Billy decides enough is enough and takes reader to get away for a few days on a boat. Butcher prepares some blankets and a picnic on the boat and then shows reader what she really means to him. Passion ensues. Inspired my getaway boat drabbles on my masterlist

word count: 4.9k

*~*~*~*

What’s Mine ~

The old tv at the safe house filled the room with a low kind of buzzing noise as you flipped through the channels one more time from the even older couch. There wasn’t a thing worth watching. Sighing to yourself, you left it on an old sitcom you’d seen 100 times before but turned the volume down just letting it play in the background. 

You checked your phone once more and flicked your gaze toward the steps but still nothing. 

You had a good job at Vought but as soon as you had found out about the destruction and horror caused by Supes like Homelander you felt you had no choice but to do something to help. You met M.M. and since then you had been able to help the boys out with information and access quite a few times. But only when Butcher was sure you couldn’t be implicated.

Butcher. You had fallen for him almost immediately. And that wasn’t like you but he was something…something you couldn’t resist no matter how hard you tried.  

You’d fallen in his bed even easier.

You told yourself it was just a fling that helped you deal with the stress of this double life but deep down you knew it was more complicated than that. It always was with you. You wanted it to just be about fucking the hottest man you’d ever seen, but you never could keep your heart out of it. And it didn’t help when Butcher did ridiculous things like being thoughtful about your situation. 

He had told you more than once that you could quit anytime you wanted, it was always up to you, and you were thinking about it because this whole situation was becoming stressful as fuck but…

Doubt gnawed at your mind. Was Butcher only with you because of your job? Your own secret insecurities snuck up on you while you sat here in the dim room alone, making anxiety bloom in your chest. Why else would he be with you? You didn’t know. If you quit, would he drop you like trash, on to the next useful nobody?

But then you thought about all those moments you’d shared over the past year, the times he’d let you see all those emotions and thoughts he tried to hide, when he’d hold you and you felt safer than you’d ever had in your life…

You worried your bottom lip between your teeth as your anxiety started to fully take over but then you heard those familiar boots stomping down the stairs.

“Hey,” you murmured, sitting up and meeting Butcher’s dark hazel eyes.

“‘ello, doll. Ya ‘ere alone?” he glanced around before looking back to you.

“Yeah,” you nodded standing up. “Hungry? I could make something…”

He came over to you sliding his big hand around your waist, tugging you closer and shaking his head but the lines around his eyes crinkled as he studied you. “How was work?” he asked.

Work. Of course. He wanted to know what you had for him. 

“Fine,” you answered shortly. “Nothing much happened.” You turned away from him, heading to the kitchen to grab a drink. 

But Butcher wasn’t having it. “Oi. What’s the problem, eh?”

You sighed to yourself. “Nothing, just tired,” you murmured, but when you turned back he was right behind you and he was sliding his hand over your waist again. “Let’s go to bed then, yeah?” 

You tilted your head to look into his dark hazel eyes and damn if they weren’t swirling with worry and…affection? Maybe all this doubt really was all in your head. You couldn’t deny it felt like the two of you had grown close, especially over the last six months. You stood up on your tip toes to brush your lips against his but just as he started to kiss you back three pairs of footsteps were thundering down the steps and you both pulled away from each other. 

Of course they all knew you were together but it wasn’t like either of you to be putting on any shows. And they were always around. 

“Got a bunch of new supes to find,” M.M. said, holding up a stack of files for Butcher to see as he came into the room. Frenchie and Kimiko both nodded in greeting, Kimiko heading to her room and Frenchie to the fridge.

M.M. took his coat off and sat down at the table, gesturing Butcher over. “I want to go over them and see what we can set up for the next week in tracking them down.”

Interrupted again. You sort of hoped Billy would protest, he usually protested everything, but he nodded in agreement immediately. “Aye, let’s get these cunts.” He squeezed your waist before he pulled away but any of the warmth you thought had been in his eyes before was replaced with the gleam of excitement in hunting down supes. “Go an’ rest, love. I’ll be there in a bit.”

You nodded but he was already on his way to the table so you went to the bedroom without another word. Of course you knew this work was important, you just…wanted him. 

You were so tired it wasn’t hard to fall asleep, but you missed Billy’s presence beside you. It seemed more often than not lately he was busy with the boys. At some point in the middle of the night, he came in the room and the bed moved as he slid in next to you. Sleepily you shifted closer to him to curl into his side craving his heat but you fell back asleep immediately and were too tired to notice if he pulled you against him or not. When you woke in the morning he was already gone and an annoying wave of sadness washed over you. Somehow you were even more tired now than you were the night before. 

Within a few minutes you decided you should just go home. Fuck it. It was ridiculous to think you really meant anything to him. Why would you?

You got dressed quickly and grabbed your bag, heading out, and luckily no one was there to notice.

Since it was Saturday, there was nowhere you needed to be and you took a shower as soon as soon as you got to your tiny apartment and changed into an old sweatshirt and leggings. 

Butcher texted you around noon asking where you were and you cleared the notification without opening it. He texted you again an hour later and then called when you still hadn’t answered him by 5.

Guilt washed through you as you looked at his name on the screen while the phone rang. You should have at least let him know you were okay, especially considering everything you’d been through together. You tapped the green ‘accept’ button and picked up the phone.

“Hi,” you murmured. “Sorry…”

“Fuck, love. I was ‘bout t’lose me mind. What the fuck is goin’ on? Where are ya?”

He was angry, but your heart still swelled at the bit of concern you thought you could sense in his tone and you felt even worse. “I’m at home. I’m sorry. I was - I wasn’t feeling well. I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

You heard him sigh over the phone and you bit your lip as you waited. 

“Long as you ain’t hurt. But ya ‘ave to tell me what’s wrong. I ain’t dancin’ ‘round playin’ games anymore. If somethin’s gone pear shaped ya need to tell me, doll. Now.”

You swallowed, the command in his voice intimidating but also turning you on like crazy. Fuck. You shifted on the couch, rubbing your thighs together and trying not to think about his face between your thighs as he held your hips down with those huge hands. Get it together.

“Out wiv it.”

His accent deepened in his frustration. You took a breath trying to decide between denying it or telling him how you felt but in the end you knew he would know if you were lying and he’d just get angrier. “I just-“ you sighed. “I feel bad making you feel like you have to be with me. That you have to fuck me to get information.”

Billy scoffed. “What the fuck you on about? Who said that?”

“No one said it, I just - I mean I think it’s obvious.”

“That’s a load of fuckin’ bollocks, ain’t it. You think I would do that?”

“Well…” 

Actually no, now that you thought about it, he definitely seemed to enjoy violence as a way to get what he wanted more than seducing anyone, or even trying to get along with them at all…

“No I guess not,” you murmured, picking at a thread on the hem of your sweatshirt. 

“Tha’s right. I’m with ya ‘cuz I want to be.” His voice went a little softer, “Want all of you, love.”

He said it so matter-of-fact, you honestly didn’t know what to reply. You wanted to believe him…but it was hard when anxiety was still fluttering through your nerves. 

“I just…what’s the point really? We always get interrupted, there’s always someone around these days.”

“Don’t give a fuck who’s around. You’re mine. That’s all I care about.”

“Yeah…” you murmured.

“Ya gonna stop this rubbish and come back ‘ere?”

For a moment you didn’t answer, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to go back right now. 

“I’m just tired,” you finally said. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

Butcher was quiet for a moment before he answered. “Aye. If that’s what ya want. But I want ya t’remember what I said.” His voice was short but his possessive tone was clear, and it made your heart thud.

He hung up and you dropped the phone, letting your head fall back against the couch. For a second you had been pretty sure that was it for you and him but the possessiveness in his voice just now had said something very different. 

*~*~*~*

By the morning you had convinced yourself it was over, but then somehow it wasn’t. Butcher texted you in the morning and you ended up texting back awhile later. You tried not to let yourself get your hopes up. Until he called again late in the afternoon.

“Pack a bag for a couple days. But pack light. Won’t need much.” 

You paused for a second. “W-what?” 

You could hear him take a soft breath over the phone. “We’re gettin’ away fer a couple days, love. Just you and me.”

Your heart was thudding in your chest. “What about work?”

“Call out. Tell ‘em yer sick or family emergency or whatever. It don’t matter much does it? Not a job you wannna keep.”

You caught your bottom lip between your teeth, thinking. “Don’t you want me to keep it?”

Billy was quiet for a second. “Been meanin’ to talk t’ya ‘bout that. I think it’s gettin’ too dangerous and I don’t want ya to ‘ave to deal with that. Yer safer with me.”

Your heart flipped. He wanted you with him.

“R-really?”

“I know it’s a lot to ask. But I’m sure you can find some easier job if ya want. And we could use yer help on the team. Ya know yer just as good as the lad at that techy stuff, and lots o’ other things too. We’re gettin’ an office and fundin’ and all that.”

He still sounded a little frustrated but it seemed like he was trying to show you he wanted you, and fuck you wanted him.

“But we can talk about that later,” he said. “Be ready in an hour.”

He hung up before you could answer and you almost considered ignoring his invitation, if one could call it that, but ultimately you didn’t want to. 

Trying to push all of your worries out of your head, you took a shower and changed quickly then threw a few things in a bag. Billy was knocking a few minutes after you finished.

When you answered the door it was like a ton of bricks hit you, he was so fucking handsome. And he wasn’t angry, his expression very much said he wanted to be there.

“That’s the jacket I bought you for that undercover assignment,” you murmured quietly. Instead of his usual loud Hawaiian shirt and beat up old duster, he had on a white t-shirt and a trim fitted black coat over his black jeans. Lord, you felt like you were going to start drooling.

Butcher snorted. “Mallory told me not t’look so ‘flamboyant,’” he griped. “And I wanted to wear this for you.”

“You look good.” You couldn’t help yourself, giving him a soft smile. “But why would Mallory care what you were wearing. Are we working?” Your stomach sank.

“Nah. Just you and me. I’ll explain when we get there.”

He grabbed your bag and took you to his car without saying much. You wanted to ask him where you were going but decided you would just see what happened. 

In any case it wasn’t long before you were pulling up to a marina southeast of Flatbush. Butcher parked and nodded for you to follow him out onto the docks. At the end of one a huge boat was moored and Butcher stepped on to the back of it without hesitating, holding out his hand for you to join him. 

“What’s this?” you asked, unsure. It was a beautiful boat, obviously big enough for bedrooms and living space below, a beautiful seating area on the bow with thick cushions big enough to lay on and a two level deck. 

“Confiscated in a drug sting. Mallory’s lettin’ me borrow it.”

You glanced at him with a raised eyebrow. “Really?”

He grinned, his dimples showing but mischief dancing in his eyes. “Sure.”

“Just us?”

He nodded. “If ya need me t’show you how much I want ya, I will.”

Your tongue darted out to wet your bottom lip and Butcher gave a devilish smirk as he watched it. “Let’s go.” He helped you step up onto the flat deck at the back of the boat then undid the mooring quickly. 

It only took a few minutes for him to show you the rooms below deck and drop your bags on the bed. You followed him as he went up to the flybridge and sat with him at the helm as he took the boat out of the bay. 

When he got comfortable at the controls he stripped his jacket off and your mouth went dry at the sight of him in the fitted white t-shirt. The cotton seemed molded across his broad chest, the shirt sleeves hugging his biceps and after a moment you had to remind yourself to breathe. Fuck, what had you ever done to deserve this gift…

The stress and tension that seemed to be a constant part of him on land melted away almost immediately as soon as he took the wheel and it filled you with a feeling you couldn’t quite describe, but it was good. The water was calm and as soon as you were on your way, he slid his hand to your thigh. The sun was setting to the west, casting a golden glow across the water. 

As far as you could tell he was just heading out to sea and you guessed he’d find a place beyond the port’s boundaries to anchor the boat and then you’d really have him all to yourself. Or he’d have you. 

*~*~*~*

As soon as the boat was anchored and everything was settled, Butcher made you go down to the bedroom until he called you back up. When he finally did, you climbed the narrow stairs a little bit nervous but very much looking forward to whatever it was he had in mind. 

The actual result though was more than a surprise. 

“Billy…” you murmured, taken aback.

There were some blankets and pillows set out and there was a bag of food, you were guessing, on the big cushions at the front of the boat. The sun was below the horizon now, the sky growing dark. Two small lights on the boat gave the setting a warm glow. 

“It ain’t much,” he said, reaching for your hand, “so don’t go gettin’ all worked up over nothin’.”

His eyes were serious, but you could see the emotion there even if he wasn’t saying it. How could you have ever doubted him?”

The two of you sat down next to each other on the cushions and he started pulling food out of the bag, little trays of cheese and meat, crackers and a few other things. They were all still in their plastic containers from the store, and you figured Frenchie must’ve helped him but it was more than enough to mean something to you. 

It was still warm enough that he was comfortable in his t-shirt and you thanked all that was good for it, stealing glances of his arms especially any chance you could. 

He pulled out a bottle of whiskey last and poured you each a bit into two small glasses. 

“Cheers,” he lifted his glass with a quirk of his mouth and you clinked it, letting a small smile curve your lips before taking a sip. 

“What’s all this for, then?” You asked after a few minutes of nibbling. 

He ran his hand over his beard. “To be ‘onest…M.M. suggested it. Gettin’ away and all. I can tell ya haven’t been feelin’ great. And I don’t want ya to feel like that.”

You looked down, slowly choosing another piece of cheese and a cracker, taking a bite and chewing. 

“I guess…” you finally said, “the stress of all of this is bringing up old insecurities.”

Billy looked at you, finishing his bite and taking a drink of whiskey. “Ya know I’m happy to prove to ya how much I want ya - with me hands as much as me words, love. Ya just have to tell me. I know there are a lot of interruptions, but that don’t mean I ain’t still thinkin’ about you naked and beggin’ beneath me.” He reached out to brush his fingers along your jaw. 

Heat flushed your cheeks but you couldn’t help smiling. He always had a way with words, confident and provocative, whether in the bedroom or out, but for all of his bravado, there was another side to him too. Maybe it was a cover for feelings he found easier to express through small, meaningful gestures instead of words. 

“Thank you,” you murmured, still smiling. He was right, and if this wasn’t enough to convince you then you were probably just insane. But you hadn’t felt this good in a long time. Being away and out on the water seemed to have an effect on him too, and you were very much looking forward to what came next. 

You didn’t have to wait long. When you were both finished eating, Billy threw everything back in the bag and set it aside. He had a remote for the lights and turned them down to their lowest setting, lifting his arm for you to lay back with him against the pillows and you rested your head against his shoulder.  

The stars were bright away from the city. You weren’t sure you had ever seen them like this before and it was beautiful. A soft breeze fluttered across the bow of the boat and a little shiver rippled through your body. 

“Cold, love?” Billy asked, pulling a blanket up to cover you.

“Only a little. It’s so peaceful and beautiful out here…” You rubbed your hand lazily over his stomach then tilted your head up to look at him. The boat was rocking gently beneath you. 

“We can just lay here if ya want. Just want ya with me.”

His hazel eyes had gone very dark, and you knew he was sincere but the look on his face was smoldering.

“I want you,” you whispered back, your voice already going low with the effect he had on you. Out here alone, there was no need to rush or stay quiet. He looked so good, and you were already desperate for him.

He searched your eyes for a second, then pulled you against him and dipped his head to capture your mouth with his own. It had been more than two weeks since you’d been together and you wondered if he missed it as much as you had but your question was answered right away. 

He bit at your lower lip with a low growl and you opened for him immediately, letting his tongue stroke hotly into your mouth. He explored your mouth fervently and you purred from the back of your throat, sliding your hand beneath his shirt. His skin was hot and you rubbed your hand over his stomach, letting your fingers play with the trail of hair leading down from his belly button. 

Billy rumbled as you teased him. He pulled back to tug your sweater over your head and then the tank top beneath it right away. His hand smoothed up your back and unhooked your bra with a twist of his fingers before he rolled you beneath him. 

For a moment you looked up into his eyes, and your breath caught in your chest. They were brimming with heat and lust and more. 

You couldn’t wait another moment to slip your hands beneath his shirt and push it up his chest. He sat up suddenly and pulled it over his head then grabbed your bra as well, tossing it aside. Your jeans and underwear were stripped off next and it was only a minute before you were naked, spread out beneath him. 

Do ya have any idea how fuckin’ gorgeous ya are?” he rumbled, his tone rough with desire. 

You swallowed, unable to find your voice. How could you have ever thought he didn’t want you?  

“Bloody incredible,” he answered for you, shifting to settle between your legs.

He kissed you again, his mouth hot and insistent, his beard a soft scratch on your sensitive skin. You slid your fingers in his hair and he growled when you tugged on the dark strands, pushing his hips against you. His jeans were rough against your inner thighs, but you loved him rough. 

He slid one big hand up to knead at your breast, and swiped his thumb across your nipple until it stiffened to a tight peak. When you whimpered, he caught it between his thumb and finger and tugged hard. 

The sensation made your body buck beneath him, and the seam of the fly on his jeans over his still-covered cock rubbed harshly against your clit, making you shudder with pleasure. 

“Billy…” you gasped his name. He gave a low growl and thrust his cock and the rough material against you again. 

“Please…” you gasped, working your hands between the two of you, grasping for the button of his jeans. You needed all of him, needed to feel him hot and hard in your hands. 

“I’m comin’ love.” He sat up quickly, working to shed his jeans and his boxers, then laid down beside you. His cock was hot and leaking against your hip but then his fingers were sliding between your folds, distracting you. “Fuck,” he rasped, and the sound made you shiver. “So fuckin’ soaked fer me.” 

You moaned, shifting your thighs further apart. He rubbed his fingers along your sex for a moment the settled his fingertips right where you needed them. 

He played with your clit mercilessly as he watched your face, making you more and more desperate with each moment. Pleasure and need pooled low in your belly, and you moved restlessly to try to get more. 

“Stop squirmin’ princess,” he husked. You groaned impatiently but it only made him chuckle. 

Two thick fingers slid down to your tight entrance then, whether in punishment or reward you weren’t sure, and he pushed them in. For a second he left them there, stretching you, deep inside of you and then he drew them out and thrust back in slowly. He seemed intent on driving you insane. 

“Please, please, please…” you whimpered, gripping his arm, and trying to move your hips to get him to move again, faster, harder. 

“Begging’ so pretty,” he rumbled. 

“Billy…”

“Say it,” he commanded. “Tell me what ya need.”

“Need…” you gasped, trying to catch your breath. “Need your cock…”

He hummed and kneeled between your thighs again, pressing your knees up and wide apart and lined up the tip of his cock to your entrance. 

“I ain’t letting ya go. Ya hear? My girl.”

You nodded quickly, and then he surged inside you, pushing as deep as he could in one thrust. 

A sharp cry left your lips, the sound dancing across the water and fading into the darkness. As thick and wonderful as his fingers were, his cock was even bigger, swollen and pulsing and stretching you open. 

“Fuck Billy,” you cried. Your hands scrambled frantically over his shoulders, needing some kind of purchase. He grabbed one, pinning your wrist above your head, giving you the anchor you needed. 

You cried out again and then he finally began to move. Your eyes fluttered open to meet his gaze and there was so much emotion there, it made your heart swell. He groaned, and then dipped his head to nuzzle and bite at the curve of your neck, finding a steady, hard rhythm. 

You were already so primed for him, it only took a minute before you were on the edge of orgasm. Billy guided your other arm up holding both your wrists down with one hand and gripped your ass with his other hand, tilting your hips up for a new angle. When you gave a helpless cry, he must’ve known he had the right spot and he moved quicker, thrusting hard until he finally pushed you over the edge. Fiery, throbbing pleasure exploded inside you and you came so hard you almost blacked out at first, your cunt clenching around his thick cock as heat pulsed through your body, making you shudder and moan. 

Billy gave a low, deep groan then he was coming too, spilling himself inside you. He gripped your shoulder and buried his face against your throat as his cock continued to pulse, filling you with his seed. 

“Billy,” you moaned. You felt boneless, completely blissed out and mindless. “So good…” you whimpered. 

He groaned in reply, then rolled over, pulling you with him to lay across his chest. You felt him press a kiss to the top of your head and you cuddled closer to his body. 

“Feel better, love?” he asked after a few minutes, still holding you tight against him. 

“…feel better than I’ve ever felt before,” you mumbled against his warm skin, still panting a little. And you meant every word. 

As soon as you’d finally caught your breath, he carried you inside and below deck. When you were done in the bathroom, he settled you in bed, went in the bathroom himself for a minute then came back out. Even in the darkness you could see he was still hard, and you felt a brand new pulse of desire. “Billy…” you murmured as he slid into bed next to you. 

“Hmm?” his voice was soft and low, he turned you to your side so he could press up behind you and you felt yourself growing wet for him all over again. 

“Want you again…” you purred. 

But his answer was just a tsk and a pat on your ass. “You’re exhausted, love. You were about fallin’ asleep in me arms a few minutes ago.”

Mmm, you were tired but you could feel his cock pressing against you and you couldn’t help yourself, wriggling back against him. “Still want you…”  

“Needy girl...” His big hand slid down to grip your thigh, and then you felt the tip of his cock at your entrance again. You tilted your hips back and he started to push in, slow and steady. You moaned gratefully, but when he was all the way in he stopped. 

You moved, trying to rock your hips, but he caught your waist and you stilled obediently. 

“Good girl,” he rumbled, and pressed his cock in just a little bit deeper, making you gasp. “All stuffed full o’ me, ain’t ya? Now you can be sure to remember who ya belong to and how much I want ya.”

“Billy…” you pleaded softly even as sleep pulled longingly at your mind. He was stretching your cunt, swollen and hot and hard inside of you, but still he didn’t move. 

Suddenly you realized he intended to just stay like this. Fuck... You let out a desperate whine but he just hummed, contented, again. 

“Get some rest,” he commanded quietly, his breath warm across the back of your neck, “and we’ll see about givin’ you what ya want in a few hours. But only if ya do as you’re told.”

God, he felt good filling you up, so big inside you, but he’d moved his hand to stroke your hip and your stomach, and it was slowly working to relax your body. In the end you knew he was in control so you willed your mind to give in. Finally your body relaxed. Vaguely you thought you heard Billy whisper, “I’ll take care of ya,” just as you fell asleep, tucked in close to him, with his cock buried deep inside you.

*~*~*~* @kus-babygirl @jynx15 @cassiopeia-grimm @bohemianblasphemy @butchersboobs

@bluemerakis @ariadnerain @bobabilbil @deansaddiction @weallhaveadestiny

@imherefordeanandbones @str8-jack-it @butchers-girl @vavafaure1994 please let me know if you wanted a tag and I missed you! Thank you for reading 🥹

karl urban masterlist

[plaidos]

Sorry if this is going too far with turning your inbox into the children's cartoon complaint zone, but the stuff about Grenda in Gravity falls got me thinking.

I was a teenager when Gravity Falls was coming out, and it remains one of my favorite cartoons, but rewatching it recently made me uncomfortably aware of just how much mean-spirited and offensive comedy there is throughout. Grenda as a "comic relief" character is a huge one of course, but there's just a LOT of deriving comedy from people's bodies and appearances. Plus just straightforward man-in-a-dress jokes...

There's also the fact that Alex Hirsch seems to think AAVE (or like "slang" created to be a comically heightened imitation of AAVE) is the most hilarious thing ever, but also makes sure it's always coming from on-screen white characters, as if that unproblematizes the way it's mocked? It's a CONSTANT recurring thread throughout the series.

I ended up falling off a recent rewatch for a while after hitting the episode "Soos and the Real Girl." It really hit me there with the exact way they were characterizing Soos's social incompetence and "childish" interests, oh, he's straight up supposed to be autistic. He explicitly gets obsessed with the dating sim because he likes how social interactions have predictable rules in it, unlike real life. It's hammered home *multiple* times that one of his big stated social deficiencies is an inability to make eye contact, etc. Come the fuck on. And that's fine in a vacuum, the episode ends with everyone realizing he didn't need to change himself because he could still have value as a person as long as his awkwardness was charming to a quirky chubby woman.

But all the jokes in the episode are still about how funny it is that he's socially unaware and makes other people uncomfortable or frightened. And worse, it recontextualizes the way he's used as a joke throughout the rest of the series, the way he's portrayed as stupid, as a man-child, as being abused and taken advantage of by his employer while he's oblivious to it. It's just so gross. And that's not even getting into how he's also fat and Hispanic, and he's not just mocked but *dehumanized* for comedy CONSTANTLY.

Plus that episode throws in one of the show's transphobic jokes for good measure. Isn't it so funny that you can't tell if this person in alternative fashion is a man or a woman? Isn't it funny that Soos is so autistic-- I mean socially inept-- that he openly, in public, to their face, speculates on their gender? Not like for trans people that's a nightmare scenario that carries an implicit threat of violence or anything...

And all this is absolutely not to suggest that Gravity Falls is a uniquely harmful piece of media. I know for certain if you pick any network sitcom at random, before or even since Gravity Falls, you'd find way worse examples of all of this. But it's just a bummer to now be a grown-ass fat, autistic, trans woman who can recognize some of this stuff, and realize that even the media that's most special to me thinks it's funny to be hostile to people like me, that it's not really made for me. And to recognize that it's even worse for people who are marginalized in ways that I'm not.

Anon I’m in love with you — it’s like you went down a checklist in my brain of every complaint i’ve ever had about this show. i completely, completely agree with every note here — the jokes about AAVE specifically stood out to me, especially since there’s been at least one occasion where Hirsch went on a twitter rant about how (xyz aave) is the worst, stupidest thing to ever happen to the English language (meanwhile he thinks combining the words “Bill” and “Dipper” is funny enough to include as a joke despite it being just literally putting two names together. wooow how clever and funny white people are, thank god this caucasian braingenius is protecting the sanctity of the english language from black people who make up bad new words)

also dude can’t go five seconds without putting a white person in a “cowboys and indians” style native american costume. Hirsch has a fucking major problem with the way he treats his hispanic characters & how he portrays native american mythology & culture as basically this funny stupid thing to be used as set dressing for white people.

it feels a lot like he watched The Simpsons’ (sometimes effective, sometimes ineffective) satire on racism, bigotry, and the conservative tendencies in archetypical american towns and understood that it was funny but didn’t get why and just limply recreated the jokes without the structure for it to be a satire. not that the Simpsons doesn’t fall into these same problems with racism & body shaming, but i feel like they at least have a veneer of it being “isn’t it stupid how people like Homer think like this?” rather than just “haha different culture talk funny”

and the problem is, it sucks that it’s like this because it’s so good. it feels like every time i recommend it i have to be like “a lot of the jokes have aged like milk but it’s worth it”. like i love Gravity Falls. which is why it’s important to criticise it for its flaws.

[anjee0]

Staying over

B Rabbit x Female!reader (Feel free to put in your own oc insert as well)

Description - Rabbit asks if Y/n if she can let him and Lily stay over.

Warnings - Hickeys, fluff, short n sweet

Y/n yawned as she watched the black and white sitcom on her TV. She could feel her eyes drooping as they slowly started to close, nearly bringing her to a slumber.

She was shaken awake when she heard a knock on the door.

“Mm, coming.” She mumbled. And yet she stayed in the same position on the couch as her eyes slowly started closing again.

A sequence of a few more louder knocks were followed by a muffled voice calling her name. Y/n's head shot up when she realised she recognised the voice. Rabbit.

She got up immediately and unlocked the door. Hey eyes were immediately met with Rabbit and Lily, who were both holding a bag each. Lily looked scared and Rabbit looked nervous.

“Babe, Lily. Are you guys okay?” Y/n asked, immediately sensing that something was wrong.

“I know this is kind of short notice but is it okay if we can stay over with you for a while?” Rabbit replied.

“Yeah, come in.” 

Y/n stepped aside to allow Rabbit and Lily to come inside. Lily immediately hugged Y/n to which she hugged her back. 

Y/n knelt down to look at Lily at eye level. “You okay sweetie?” She asked.

“Yeah. It's nice to see you again.” Lily responded with an adorable smile.

“Same here sweetie. Do you wanna grab a snack from the kitchen?” 

Lily nodded and ran off with her bag. 

Y/n stood up and looked at Rabbit. “Do you wanna tell me what happened?” She asked in a soft and gentle tone, not wanting to sound forceful.

“My mum's boyfriend's fucking crazy. He hates me and Lily. My mum told me to stay with you until that dickhead cooled off.”

“Shit babe… that must suck. You don't need to worry. I'll take good care of you both.” 

She cupped his face and placed a soft kiss on his lips. Rabbit rested his hands on Y/n's waist and pulled her closer as their foreheads touched.

“Thanks babe.” Rabbit whispered as he pulled his beloved girlfriend into a hug.

Eventually, the evening rolled around and it was time for dinner. Y/n was fixed in the kitchen preparing dinner. She was extra focused, just to make sure that this dinner would be perfect for Rabbit and Lily.

All her focus broke when she felt a pair of arms wrapped around her waist. She turned her head to smile and Rabbit and continued cooking.

“Hey baby.” Rabbit said as he buried his face in the crook of Y/n's neck. “Dinner smells good.” He whispered, his breath tickling against his girlfriend's neck.

“Thank you.” She chuckled, feeling ticklish. 

Rabbit peppered kisses on Y/n's neck. They first started off soft and gentle. He eventually started sucking on her skin and hitting her sweet spot. Y/n softly moaned at the sensation.

“Don't be too loud, don't want Lily to hear now, yeah?” Rabbit said.

He continued to suck harder, his teeth grazing against her skin. He licked and kissed the small hickeys that he made on her neck. She could feel him smirking against his neck as she bit her lip to stop the moans.

“Babe, as much as I'm loving this, I need to make dinner.” Y/n said.

“Should I set the table?” Rabbit asked.

“Yes please.” 

Rabbit got the plates and cutlery out and set the table for three. He called Lily to come in and sit. Once they were all seated with their plates full, they dug into their meal. 

“This is really good, babe.” Rabbit said, with his mouth half full of food.

“Yeah, Y/n. I really like it! You cook really well.” Lily said with a bit of food on the corners of her mouth.

“Thanks guys. I'm glad you liked the food.”

“Y/n, you have a few marks on your neck.” Lily pointed out, curiously.

Y/n quickly realised that it was the hickeys Rabbit had left scattered on her neck.

“Oh, I do?” She responded, as she let her fingertips graze against hickeys.

“Yeah. Wonder how that happened, huh?” Rabbit said with a dumb smirk on his face to which Y/n glared at him teasingly.

They continued to eat their dinner and had small conversations with each other.

“Can we have a movie night please?” Lily asked.

“Maybe not tonight Lily. Y/n's probably feeling tired right now.” Rabbit responded.

“No, it's fine. I don't feel tired at all. We can have a movie night.” Y/n insisted.

“Yay!” Lily cheered. “Can I choose the movie please?”

“Of course sweetie. I have a few movie tapes stored in a basket under the TV. You choose the movie and I'll wash the dishes and get snacks.” 

Y/n took everyone's plates and brought them to the sink while Lily ran to the living room, ready to choose a movie. 

“Hey, I can wash the dishes for you.” Rabbit offered.

“No, it's fine. You go with Lily.” Y/n responded.

“Babe, come on. You're overworking yourself. You don't have to do all of this for us.” 

He stood next to Y/n and took the plate from her. “Go. Please. I insist.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Rabbit chuckled. “100 percent sure.”

Y/n smiled softly and nodded as he rummaged through the cupboards looking for snacks. He settled on popcorn and a few chocolates.

They all settled down on the couch with a few blankets and pillows and watched the princess movie Lily had picked to watch. They shared a bowl of popcorn scattered with a few sweets between them as well.

Y/n was cuddled into Rabbit's side as she felt his hand slowly going up and down her thigh. Y/n ran her hand through Rabbit's hair gently and kissed his jaw before snuggling her nose into his cheek.

Eventually, the movie ended and everyone decided to get to bed. Lily wanted to sleep by herself in the guest bedroom whilst Rabbit went to sleep with Y/n. 

They both cuddled up with each other under the covers, making sure there was no space between them. 

“Y/n.” Rabbit said.

“Yeah.” 

“Thank you. You don't know how much me and Lily appreciate you. I can't even describe it. I love you.”

“I love you too Rabbit. I'd do anything for you and Lily.”

Slowly, the door creaked open as Lily peered out the door looking at Y/n and Rabbit.

“Hey baby, what's wrong?” Rabbit asked.

“I can't sleep. Can I sleep between you two please?” Lily asked.

“Yeah of course. If it's okay with Y/n.”

“More than okay with me.”

Y/n scooted over a bit to leave some space between her and Rabbit. Lily crawled into bed and rested in the gap. She immediately clung her arms around Y/n as she whispered a soft goodnight from her lips. Rabbit reached his arm over to hold Y/n and Lily closer to him. He felt safe and secure with Lily and Y/n.

A/N: sorry it's not that good lol. I tried.

[anton-luvr]

Heyy could u do a fic where boyfriend!Anton makes out with fem!reader for the first time and is really shy but likes it and doesn’t want to stop, like really sweet and a little suggestive 🥹💖Tyy

# FOREVER.

𖦹 bf!anton x fem!reader | fluff & suggestive | college au 𖦹 note ; THIS IS SUCH A CUTE IDEA ARGHH thank u anon i hope u like this + reqs are open!

You love being close to Anton.

You love how soft his hands feel in yours; you love the way his eyes sparkle when he looks at you; and you love how gently he kisses your forehead each time he says goodbye.

The evening had started out as usual: going back to your place after classes, Japanese takeaway for dinner, and an episode of your favorite sitcom, The Office.

But you could tell something was on Anton’s mind tonight. He seemed nervous, and he kept spacing out.

“Is everything okay?” You asked softly, concern evident in your tone. Anton immediately nods, flashing you a shy smile. “Yeah, just thinking about something," he mumbles.

You raise an eyebrow.

“Do you wanna talk about it? You can tell me anything.”

He bites his bottom lip nervously at this, glancing hesitantly at you.

“Anything?” he echoed.

"Anything." you repeated, squeezing his hand in reassurance.

The curly haired boy lets out a sigh, burying his face in his hands and groaning a small, “This is so embarrassing.”

“But you won’t laugh at me, right?” He asks. You chuckle at this, shrugging. “I’ll try my best.”

Anton nods, slowly scooting closer to you on the bed. “So. I was wondering if we could... m-make out?”

Now, you love your boyfriend, but the moment you heard his question, you couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

“Hey, you said you wouldn’t laugh!” he splutters, his face burning a crimson red.

“I’m sorry!” You gasped, still laughing.

“I just wanted to ask because I’ve never done it before, but I also want to kiss you, but then again I didn’t know how to bring it up, and I-”

“Sure,” you giggled, cutting his rambling off and softly pushing him down on the bed.

“We can definitely make out.”

Anton’s heart was already racing a mile a minute, but the moment your lips connect, he feels like his heart could jump right out of his chest.

His eyes fall shut, and all he can feel is how right and how good it feels.

Your soft vanilla-flavoured lips against his, a shudder running through his body when you slip your tongue against his.

“Is that okay?” you whisper, slightly breathless. Anton nods readily, biting his tongue to hold back a whimper.

“Y-Yeah, keep going." he stutters.

He groans when your lips meet his again, his hands now under your shirt and caressing your waist.

Like puzzle pieces, your lips fit against each other perfectly.

Your bedroom fills with the sound of soft and airy moans, and Anton wonders why he waited so long to do this with you.

When you finally pull away from each other, you wish you could take a picture of how gorgeous your boyfriend looked.

His black unruly hair messy from your hands running through them, his lips swollen as he catches his breath, and his cheeks dusted a light pink.

“God, you look so pretty." you sigh.

He shakes his head as he tries to pull you back. “Don’t care, I wanna keep kissing you.” he mutters, drunk on the feeling.

You place your hand against his chest, stopping him. “If we keep kissing, you’re going to end up home by midnight.” you chuckle.

To your surprise, Anton tugs at you again. “Really don’t care,” he mumbles against your lips. “Wanna kiss you forever, s'feel too good.”

Your heart flutters at his words, smiling into the kiss.

“I’ll kiss you forever."

© anton-luvr, 2023.

[1920sladydectective]

Best Friend's Mother Ch.4 3.9K

Here's chapter four of the @shinyshayminflower prompt story!

I hope you like it! Love you lots and lots, you can find the other parts on this account or on AO3.

Angst and Feels, no smut for this chapter.

Not again? You were going to throw up. You knew she didn’t love you, but you were foolishly surprised she had fucked Mel’s friends before. 

“Why?” Mel’s tipsy voice was hoarse, eyes shining as she looked between you, “Why couldn’t I have one thing that was mine”

You wanted the ground to swallow you, you wanted to kill Ambessa, you wanted to word vomit apologies and explanations. Your tongue was lead in your mouth. 

“Mel,” Ambessa’s tone was neutral.

“And it had to be her,” Mel whimpered, “because who other than the only best friend I’ve ever had? Only the best for Ambessa Medarda,” 

“I’m so sorry, it’s my fault too,” It ripped from you, suddenly spurred into action,”God, I-I, Mel I love you,” 

Her eyes darkened, a stuttered breath, “And that’s why you stuck your tongue down her throat, is it?”

“No, no,” Your whole world was falling apart, “I didn’t want this to happen, you’re my best friend,” 

Her bitter laugh killed you. You stood there, slaughtered, as the two Medardas began to argue in hushed tones. As quickly as her fight had ignited, it had died a distraught death. Alcohol and anger merging to create a half person. You barely caught what was said, though Mel’s muffled sobs were obvious, as was Ambessa’s motherly tone. 

It felt like a joke, some bad sitcom. Your lips were still warm, smudged crimson. 

She had moved off of you, swaying towards her daughter as if to calm her. Hushed whispers swirled around you. You lent, shivering and destroyed, against the fridge as they held one another. Their relationship would survive, of course it would, they were mother and daughter. They had a place for one another in their hearts. 

Where did that leave you then? Chopped liver, used and discarded at a moment’s notice. It was clear that this was not going to be discussed properly tonight, so you were an unnecessary detail they had shelved for later. Water sloshed about in your vision, sharp feedback ringing in your ears. 

Icy hands wiped pathetically at stray tears as you gulped, walking around the kitchen island with a slur from your lips about leaving them to it. You had the good sense to pat an incoming Rictus on the shoulder. 

“Lock the kitchen door,” It was hurried, “Mel and Ambessa are having a bit of a moment,” 

“And you?” His quiet tone made you gulp. 

“I am going to bed, tell Kino I drank too much and started throwing up so you helped me to bed,” 

“Yes Miss,” He’d never called you Miss before.

Unsteady, foal legs propelled you up the stairs as you sucked in small, stifled gasps for air. The sight of your room dropped you into the abyss, vision blurring as everything dialed to a thousand. This was it. You were so beyond fucked. It took black spots dancing around your eyes for you to remember to breathe, nails cutting your palms as you rocked back and forth on the plush carpet. 

Her face, shattered and pleading, was burned against your eyes like an old TV screen. Permanently fixed, the colours faded and warped. She had been so quick to hate her mother, her fury for you burning slow and low as it waited in the wings. You were no fool, a cat fight and some wine was not going to solve this. She had chosen you, allowed you into all areas of her life, and you had obliterated that trust, whether it had been your intention or not. She would never know how much you cherished her for now each word would be laced with guilt, rendered insincere upon arrival with little more than a cursory glance. 

Then, bitterly, your heart remembered Ambessa. You had never been special, had never been anything and you hadn’t even been the first. Mel had trusted you despite her mother’s history, because it was you and you were her best friend. You deserved every bad thing, grunting as your palms crushed your streaming eyes in an attempt to staunch the flow. None of this had gone to plan. You couldn’t understand why she’d kissed you in the first place, the memory of her kind eyes like a hot poker to the heart. You’d ended it, later than you should have, but you’d done the right fucking thing. 

Stripping naked, you crawled under the spray of icy water. It dulled you, skin becoming numb to the shower’s harsh droplets. Your cries were silent, measured, as if afraid to take up too much space. Golden glitter rotted away to reveal the monster underneath. You stayed like that for longer than was healthy, delirious limbs pulling you out as you drifted in and out. Cosy, fluffy pyjamas warmed you through as you sat, silent and empty on the bed staring at your laptop screen. 

Ever practical, you had shoved it all down in favour of a plan. First of all, you needed new student accommodation. There was no way Mel would want you living with her now and you needed to get ahead of that curve. You were sitting in a Manor house, scrolling through spare room listings like a zombie. It was three days till Christmas. You wanted to disappear. 

At some point you passed out, body slumped and shattered. 

Flecks of sunlight woke you, throat dry and face stinging. On autopilot you got ready for the day, and then just kept going. All your things were neatly folded, stuffed into a tired suitcase and sealed away. You would give Mel whatever conversation she needed and then you would leave, because it was what was necessary. 

Mel had sent you one text. Seeing her name made you dizzy. 

Breakfast Table, 10am. 

                                      Be right down. 

The house was empty save the three of you, you would learn. Rictus had dragged a hungover Kino out to facilitate this chat. You arrived in the kitchen to Mel and Ambessa sitting quietly side by side with mugs, one for you placed on the opposite side. 

A united front, two against one. Fantastic. How the fuck was that fair? What happened to how could she? 

“Morning,” You hated how unsteady your voice sounded, sitting primly in the wooden chair. 

“Sleep okay?” Mel asked, eyes unsure. 

You would have rathered if she called you a Cunt. Pleasantries had no place here. “FIne,” 

“Shall we start then?” Ambessa said, gaze focused on her daughter. 

Like it was a business meeting, and you? Their troublesome employee. 

It started rather structured, Mel had access to more facts than you’d anticipated. You were clearly not important enough to be there at the start of this conversation then. She knew when it started, when it stopped and when it started again. She was pragmatic and clearly emotionally dissociated, the events of the past twelve hours wrecking you all. You fought back a bit there, there was no restarting. 

“She kissed me,” You grumbled, barely able to look at her. 

“You kissed back, quite hard” It would have been teasing, your mind wished it was. 

“Mum,” Mel’s voice was clear, her look piercing. It was hard to gauge the dynamic here, they were on the same side but Ambessa faced far more aggression than you did. Repeat offender problems, perhaps.

“Neither of you cared about how this would make me feel,” It was the same tone from the night before, cutting harshly from a sober mouth.

“I did,” You cried, hands beginning to tremble again, “I do,” 

“If you did, you would have told me months ago,” Mel snapped.

“I know,” your gaze was distant, trapped in memories, “I made the wrong choices and have no excuse for them,” 

“We’ve both made mistakes Mel,” Ambessa’s tone was honey, “We love you, we want to know how to move past them,” 

Her use of ‘we’ made you twitch. As always, she had no problem speaking for you. Still, it seemed she was searching to heal your relationship with Mel as well as her own. Your heart glowed, you shoved it in a safe. 

“You can move past them by keeping your hands to yourself, Mum,” She snapped. In another, better timeline you would have giggled. 

Ambessa simply leaned back, taking a swig. 

“I just want to know why she did it,” Mel muttered, more lost than you’d ever seen her as she turned to you, “Mum I get, she’s done it before, but why did you?”

It was the worst question to ask, because you’d realised somewhere in those wallowing autumn nights that the love had bloomed even before she bent you over that island. Your motivator had always been love and that felt more pathetic than anything. It was the first time you looked to Ambessa on purpose, eyes panicked, yearning for even a dust speck of the comfort she was giving Mel. To your ultimate surprise you found it, crinkled eyes steady and holding you up just for a second before they looked away. That was the final nail in the coffin. 

Mel saw it before you even attempted words. You subconsciously braced for screams or laughter, but were met with a pained gasp. 

“Oh no,” Mel’s voice was soft, pitying “You didn’t,”

“Spare me,” It was a scoff, the cry of a wounded animal, “I know how stupid I am, kay?”

“Mum, go check on Mina,” Mel’s voice was dismissive, practically shoving a protesting Ambessa away. 

Ambessa left begrudgingly and the scales shifted, evening out. 

She didn’t speak for a long time, her face fixed in contemplation. It was the same face that crafted winning debates, negotiated designer deals and commanded attention of your student house chore chart. Each moment dragged, your eyes unsure where to stay as you grappled with your life. Was she going to tear you to shreds? Dismissing Ambessa so there were no witnesses to your murder? Or worse, was she going to outright admit that she despised you. 

“You fell in love,” It’s said in a hushed whisper, like gossip shared in a lecture hall. 

Your lip wobbled, the tsunami threatening to make itself known, as the plainness of the truth was said by the one person you’d wanted to tell. “Yeah, yeah I did,” 

She was on you in an instant, warm arms pulling you against her as you froze in place. 

“That was fucking dumb,” She huffed, her own voice watery, “Even dumber that you did it alone,” 

You gurgled in tears, laughter forced out as you looked at her incredulously. She was actually comforting you, as if this was normal. She was better than either you or Ambessa deserved and as she rocked you, you waited for the other shoe to smack you in the face.

“I hate you right now,” 

“Makes sense,” You sniffed, wanting to block the sound of those words out forever. 

“But right now doesn’t mean forever,” She huffs, trembling fingers taking your own, “Just need time to be furious, time to grieve I suppose,”

“I’ll give you whatever you need,” It was a babble now, “I’ll move out obviously and I c-can head home, you deserve a nice Christmas,” 

She looked at you like you’d grown a head, “No babe, none of that will be happening actually,”

“But,” 

“You have hurt me in an indescribable way,” Her voice was firm now, as if she were adult and you were child, “But I have decided I want you in my life despite that, and you are going to respect that even if you don’t understand it,” 

“I really, really don’t,” You squeaked, “But I’ll try, I want to earn your trust Mel, more than anything,”

“That’s good, because it’s Carol Concert Day and I would hate to sit next to Kino instead, he’s always so fidgety,” 

Fuck. Kino. Your face must have betrayed your panic. 

“Mum and I decided we won’t tell him, this,” She gestured between you and the space her mother had occupied, “died last night and therefore is irrelevant,” 

“Okay, whatever you want,” 

“It might also help things if you have a chat with Mum, actually talk about whatever’s happened,” 

“Easier said than done,” Your stomach twisted, “It’s a mess,”

“Try for me?”

Manipulative posh brat. You loved her. You’d do anything she asked, “FIne,” 

“I’m sorry you love her,” Mel said, gaze settling somewhat “It’s a shitty place to be,” 

You gave her the space she requested, finding the Matriarch supreme with Mina who was uncharacteristically quiet. 

“An olive branch?” You were actually holding out an olive flavoured breadstick, a hastily grabbed prop. You were staring down the barrel of a gun, unsure if it was loaded. Involuntary, awful Russian Roulette. 

She took it with a raised brow, offering you the chair you were already lowering yourself into, “How was that?”

Your rattling chest finally took in a full breath, “She wants to be my friend,” 

“You sound surprised,” 

“I am,” a cough, “and grateful and surprised I still have a head,”

“I was thinking much the same,” Mina crunched the end of the breadstick slyly, “Right, unacceptable,” she was flung off and it was as funny as always. God, you wished she was more awful somehow, make it easier. 

“And you? Seemed I missed a lot of the conversation,” 

Ambessa hummed, “I saw no point in lying to her, and this was regrettably a familiar conversation for us, it was better she learnt it from me, I am easier to be furious with,”

It felt stupidly chivalrous, like she’d done the heavy lifting so you could reap the rewards. Your assessment of how things would pan out had been so wrong you were half certain you were still in that room, looking through house listings. 

“Feels good to get it out?” You didn’t care about her answer, though you found you couldn’t not ask.

“Oh yes,” A snort, “It feels brilliant to be utterly degraded by your own child,” 

“You deserve it,” 

“I know,” Her tongue clicked, body tired.

“She wants us to patch it up,”

“Patch what up, the casual sex or the emotional turmoil?” 

“Don’t mock me,” Anger flared, dark and red. 

“I’m not,” A weathered sigh, “I respect my daughter enough to take this seriously, Darling,”

It was the worst thing she could have said. There was no respect for you, yet again. No desire to actually hear you, just a wish to please Mel. You were a middleman now to her, your feelings important if they impacted her child. 

“Well, we had a fun summer fling,” You were distant now, “It ended poorly for me, as usual for you I take it?”

She at least had the decency to wince at that, an almost disbelieving nod. 

“You tried to reignite something, I refused and then, like a fucking demon, you kissed me anyway,” 

“You kissed me back,” 

“So you said,” 

“Pushed me away too, well done,” 

“It was a test?” You wouldn’t have been shocked if she nodded. 

“That’s dramatic, even for me,” She licked her lips, “It was a lapse in judgement,” 

“Have a lot of those, do you?”

“Around you, yes,” It was lighthearted, eyes tempting as ever. This was not what patching it up meant, your tell tale heart shining through the safe’s cracks. 

“I think I hate you,” It was gentle, confused. 

“I have that effect on people, Sweet Girl,” 

You made an agreement to actually stick to the odd friendship you’d gained. Your priority was Mel. Her priority was Mel. A common goal that pushed you through the sticky residue of the remaining tension. 

Pushed you through that is. Ambessa Medarda, eyes fixed on your tentative smile, was firmly on the other side pondering something awful. She knew you were a problem. 

Kino returned, shaky and none the wiser, stumbling into the library. 

“There you are, Princess,” He called happily, “Glad to see you’re still alive after last night,”

Oh Kino. You don’t know the half of it, you idiot. “Thank Rictus, he held my hair back,” 

“He just took me on a boys breakfast,”

“A what?” You bit your cheek, your eyes meeting Ambessa’s bemused ones.

“I dunno,” He scratched his head, “Said he’d missed me, was really nice actually,”

You were nodding to compensate for the laughing rushing in you, she was doing the same.

“Fantastic!” You said in unison, as he pulled up a chair and crushed any remnants of your conversation. 

The rest of the day was smooth, surreal in its normalness. You were giving Mel space, but that wasn’t all that different to how you normally wandered about the place. The few presents you had managed to buy, now unpacked from your destroyed exit strategy, were placed under the tree and you got through a couple of hours of work before it was time to leave. 

Mel curled into you on the train, eyes fixed on the outside world rushing past though her thumb did its usual rhythmic strokes. The barriers your actions had placed sliced at you, bit by bit. Still she reached through them, cutting herself too, in an attempt to mend what you had broken. 

The Royal Albert Hall was picturesque, Christmas cheer infectious as you sat in your box. The view was unparalleled and yet they didn’t seem to fussed, messing about with the food and drink on offer. Fucking rich people. A little plate was handed to you by Ambessa, all your favourites plus things she thought you’d like to try. You nodded. It was actually normal, well your new normal. It made Mel smile, proof that you’d done as she asked. 

Carols in a place such as this were transcendent, wrapping you in comfort and applying balm to your battered mind. Kino and Mel were insistent on irritating each other, flicking at hair and chattering at each other before Ambessa smacked them both on the arm. You received a smile. You were the golden child, enjoying the music calmly whilst the others squibbled. 

Ambessa couldn’t keep her eyes off of you. You were much more interesting to watch. The music was known to her, but your reaction to it was a strange new delight. Stolen smiles she would hide behind sips of wine and hesitant coughs. She did respect Mel, loved her in a way that she had long since grappled with as all consuming, and yet she just could not look away. It made her stomach churn, each meeting of your gazes a zap of electricity to her chest. She was privileged to receive some of your quips, a calmness settled over you in the aftermath of destruction and you had taken to the changes like a duck to water. She didn’t know whether to be awed or worried, so she settled for the pulsing, confusing beat in the middle. 

You and Mel spoke quietly on the train home, some fibres knitting back together as Kino attempted to argue with his mother about why Die Hard was a Christmas film. She was showing you some furniture she wanted to buy for your house and it was domestic and safe and only slightly off. You hated the armchair and you knew that she knew that. 

“Looks great,” You lied meekly, “Love the colours,” 

“Thought you would,” She smirked, “I’ll order it now then, and the matching blanket,” 

“Awesome,” 

She started to laugh,”Are you just my bitch now?”

“I can cope with an ugly chair,”

“And cope you shall,” She showed you the delivery confirmation, phone pushed forward proudly. 

Bugger. You’d hoped she was bluffing to fuck with you. Your slow grimace made her laughter louder, and you flicked her with the lid of your Diet Coke bottle. 

Christmas Eve had arrived. 

It was a day filled with energy, board games and gingerbread houses. You learnt you were shit at biscuit engineering, unable to keep two walls standing let alone a whole house. Rictus had rescued you, the Medardas too caught in their own projects. With a steady hand he assembled the gingerbread flat pack and laid the piping foundations for your chocolate buttons and sprinkles. Yours looking shit would have been funny, if it weren’t for the masterpieces before you. 

Ambessa felt that odd buzz again, eyes raking over your shaky hands as you tried to pipe icing, or reposition walls. You seemed to naturally excel at everything she had seen, so watching you fail was almost cute. Your frustration took over your face, eyebrows scrunched with an open, wincing mouth. 

“Now, what the hell?” 

Kino snorted, adding the final touches to his stained glass windows, “I don’t think art is your calling, Princess,” 

“Or architecture,” Ambessa added with a smile.

“I think it’s good babe,” Mel said, squeezing your shoulder, “In the same way a five year old’s would be I guess,” 

“Rictus?” You said hopefully. 

“You can’t ask for my opinion, I did most of it,” He snorted, fixing a window pane across the room. 

Your gingerbread house was sacrificed to be eaten, the others deemed too sacred. It did at least taste good, Kino had said. You’d then bitten him on the arm, suggesting it would be a miracle if he tasted better than he looked. You were separated, Mina placed between you like a barrier. 

As the hours grew later, you drank your tea and prepared for bed. You were promptly stopped at the stairs. 

“We haven’t prepared for Christmas, into the living room,” Ambessa gripped your arm, pushing you into the space. 

Mel and Kino stood, wide smiles on their faces, organising a little plate. 

It had mince pies, a cookie and a glass of milk on it. 

“What are you doing?” It slipped out incredulously. 

“If we don’t do this, Mum doesn’t give us our presents,” Mel said.

“I don’t give you anything, Children,” Ambessa said, outraged, “That’s his job,” 

“Where’s the thimble of port?”

Kino placed down a large wine glass, rolling his eyes, “Father Christmas prefers a full glass apparently,” 

“Yes he does,” Ambessa smirked, before turning to you, “And can pop down the reindeer’s carrots,”

You looked at her, disbelieving eyes boring into her gleaming irises, “Why would they need carrots? I’m sure they’ve had enough already,”

Her eyes darkened, “They have a long evening ahead of them, do you want them to get exhausted halfway through? What if every house thought as ridiculously as you? What if they’re running on empty?”

You barked a shocked laugh. Of all people, Ambessa Medarda was not someone you anticipated continuing this tradition into her children’s adulthood. Grabbing some carrots, you left them next to Mel’s plate. 

“Happy?” You gestured grandly. 

“I’m sure Rudolph will be overjoyed, Dear,” She walked over kissing you each on the forehead, with a tenderness that startled you, “Now, off to bed little wolves or he shall leave you with an empty tree,” 

The tree already had presents underneath it, placed by the three of you. You hadn’t consciously clocked the lack of hers. 

You felt fuzzy, overwhelmed by Christmas and the first tendrils of contentment that had been unburdened by your lies. A long road lay ahead, but if Mel’s conspiratory giggle as she grabbed the open port bottle and tugged you to her room was anything to go by, you were going to make it out the other side. 

“Hey,” Mel said, passing the port back to you to finish, “What’s the time?”

You grabbed your phone, arms wobbly with intoxication. 

12:02am

“Merry Christmas!”

[lewisvinga]

the other woman. | charles leclerc x fem! reader

summary: after his engagement party, y/n realizes that she will always be the other woman..

warnings; mentions of cheating, sex, modern family reference

word count; 1.2 k

note; this song has been stuck in my head

‘born to die’ series masterlist !

f1 masterlist !

Y/n couldn’t believe what she had just read with her own eyes. She reread the invitation again in hopes she had misread it.

You’ve been invited to celebrate the engagement of Charles and Alexandra.

She felt sick to her stomach. She felt like she could just throw up. Lando, a close friend of hers, noticed the look on her face. “What’s wrong? You jealous?” He asks in a teasing tone.

“No!” She exclaims, accidentally saying it in a loud tone. “I-I just don’t feel good.” She lied. She quickly hands him the invite with a smile on her face. “I’m happy for them.”

“‘Bout time Charles proposed to her!” The Brit exclaims with a loud laugh, not noticing how tense she became.

Y/n lets out a laugh at some stupid comment Charles made at the sitcom playing on the TV in front of them. They were both underneath her covers, him in just boxers and her in a plain t-shirt.

After spending hours appreciating each other's bodies and Charles seemingly making love to her, they were still restless. Being restless was just a call to watch sitcoms together.

“C’mon, chérie, you’re telling me that Jay managed to get Gloria?” He asks in a shocked tone, watching a scene of the Modern Family characters.

“C’mon, look at those baby blue eyes!” She exclaims in a teasing tone. He playfully rolls his eyes, pulling her closer. She rested her cheek against his naked chest as a comfortable silence fell upon them while they watched the sitcom.

Y/n opens her mouth to say something when Charles’’ phone began to ring. He checks the caller's I.D. and lets out a quiet string of curses. Alexandra, his girlfriend, was calling. He was quick to get up and get dressed. “I have to go, chérie.” He quietly says.

She sits up in disappointment. A pout adorned her lips as she watched him pull on his pants. “You told me you were going to break up with her last week, Cha.” She mumbles.

“It’s complicated.”

“We’ve been sleeping together for weeks?”

“I’m trying, I promise. It’s just complicated.” Charles lets out a sigh as he pulls his polo over his head. He leans over to press a kiss against Y/n’s forehead. “You’re my girl, you know that. Don’t you?”

She glances up at him with a shy smile and nods. “Yeah, ‘m your girl.” She quietly responds, shifting around on the bed to sit up more comfortably. “Wanna come over this Saturday?”

“Can’t, I have an event with Alexandra and Arthur.” His response made her smile immediately drop and her stomach sink.

“Oh.”

“I’ll see when I’m free, okay?” Charles says with a smile. He leaves one last kiss against her lips before grabbing the rest of his belongings. “See you later, chérie.”

“Bye, Cha.”

“Hello? Earth to Y/n?” Lando exclaims as he waves his hands over her face. She glances up at him, his loud voice pulling her from one of the last memories with Charles. “Whatcha’ thinking about? You zoned out after I asked if you were going.” He asks with a laugh.

“Sorry, I’ve been busy.” Y/n nervously laughs, glancing at the white and gold invitation in her hand. “I mean, Charles is one of my closest friends. It’d be rude not to go. Of course, I’m going.” She responds a bitterness laced in her tone that the Brit fortunately didn’t notice.

“I think a lot of the others will go too! It’ll be so fun! I can’t believe it.” Lando seemed excited to see Charles finally engaged. Very much the opposite to Y/n who kept her eyes to the ground with a feeling of remorse filling her mind.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Y/n didn't know what she was doing as Lando parked his McLaren at the venue for the celebration. She felt sick as she clutched on the black Chanel Kelly bag Charles had gifted her for her birthday. Even the red mid-length Dior gown she wore was gifted by the Monegasque. All of her nice and luxurious things were gifted by him.

The sick feeling became worse as she entered the venue alongside Lando. The venue was decorated in a way that made it seem more heavenly. A large framed picture of Charles and Alexandra stood right at the entrance next to a white floral arch.

"Charles and Alexandra, the newly engaged couple. Cheers to forever!"

Lando read out loud the cursive writing underneath the picture. "Would you look at that!" He laughs, making fun of his fellow driver. He glances back at Y/n, noting her tense posture. "What's been up with you?" He asks, his tone filled with nothing but concern for his close friend. "Is it a boy?"

"It's complicated," Y/n replies, ignoring his confused stare as she makes her way past the picture. "Let's just greet Charles and Alex and then find seats."

They walked further into the venue where a couple of long decorated dining tables sat. There was a large space in the middle where Charles and Alexandra stood as guests greeted and congratulated them. Y/n visibly gulps as Lando dragged her over to the couple.

"Charles!" Lando loudly exclaims, causing the Ferrari driver to turn around with a wide smile. "Congratulations!" He continues, happily wrapping his arms around him.

Y/n makes eye contact with Alexandra who gives her a sweet smile. Y/n smiles back, ignoring the guilt she felt. "Alex, congratulations." She quietly says, "I must say, that ring is gorgeous."

"Y/n! Thank you." Alexandra replies with a smile. "That bag is beautiful. I have the purple one and I love it!"

"Can never go wrong with a Chanel Kelly, right?" Y/n says with a chuckle as Lando interrupts her to talk to Alexandra. Which meant it left Y/n to face Charles. The Monegasque's eyes widened as he recognized her red Dior dress and Chanel bag.

"Y/n, you look spectacular." He quietly says, pulling her into a hug. Y/n hated how such words made her blush and want to giggle. Her heart skipped a beat as she pulled away, now noticing how he was wearing glasses.

"Glasses? I've always loved them on you."

Charles chuckles, taking a glance at her up and down. That glance only meant one thing, that she would be underneath him after the party. She hated being at his engagement party but still felt such a need to be with him.

"I'll see you later, yeah?"

"Always."

The night dragged on and Y/n kept her gaze on Charles and Alexandra. They seemed happy. Everyone seemed happy for them. Her heart hurt knowing that Charles wasn't hers officially.

She felt the same heartbroken feeling as she watched him quickly change back into his clothes late that night. She still was naked underneath the covers, trying to catch her breath but he was rushing to get back to his fiance.

Y/n lets out a deep sigh as she watches him leave after kissing the top of her head. Water filled her eyes, laying her head against her pillow. She felt stupid for ever thinking that Charles would officially be hers. After all, she was the other woman.

[blackenedsnow]

If you’re lookin’ for requests could we get a continuation of your Beetlejuice fic? Like, what sorts of things does Beej do through the house/apartment to prank you? What’s he do when/if you have to leave to go to work? I imagine he’d tag along incognito sometimes. How would that go? (I don’t send many fic requests so if this is a weird way to do it I’m sorry. But I figured if you’re asking for them I can brainstorm a little 😅)

dead guys got it made

WARNING: None

PAIRING: Beetlejuice x Reader

NOTE: No need to apologize! I love the direction you're taking with this. I'd be happy to continue the story!!

SUMMARY: Chaos ensues, of course

PART ONE: Here

The days after your reluctant agreement to let Beetlejuice stay in your home were, in a word, chaotic. He seemed to take your "don’t destroy the place" comment as more of a suggestion than an actual rule. Sure, he didn’t tear down walls or summon any maggots (yet), but there was plenty of mischief to go around.

You woke up one morning to find your living room furniture rearranged—your couch upside down on the ceiling, the TV somehow playing reruns of sitcoms from the ‘80s, and the floor covered in what looked like tiny plastic insects. You groaned, rubbing your temples as Beetlejuice appeared next to you, a wide grin plastered on his face.

"Pretty good, huh?" he asked, looking up at the couch hanging from the ceiling. "Took me all night, but I think it really adds to the ambiance."

"BJ," you muttered, staring at the mess, "how many times do I have to tell you? No messing with the furniture."

He cackled, snapping his fingers. Instantly, the room righted itself—couch back on the floor, TV back to normal. But the plastic bugs? Still there. "Alright, alright, no more redecorating. But I gotta keep things interesting, babes. Can’t have you getting bored, now can we?"

You bent down to scoop up the bugs, sighing. "I’m starting to think my life was less stressful before you showed up."

"Ah, but way more boring," Beetlejuice quipped, following you into the kitchen as you grabbed a coffee mug. "Admit it, you’d miss me if I wasn’t around to spice things up."

You ignored him, focusing instead on your workday ahead. “I’ve got to head to work soon,” you said, mostly to yourself, as you filled your mug. “You’re staying here today, right?”

“Sure, sure,” he said with a wave of his hand, leaning against the counter. “I’ll be good. Maybe I’ll watch some TV, raid your fridge, haunt your neighbors—you know, normal dead guy stuff.”

You shot him a look, trying to gauge how much of that was a joke. You were still figuring him out, trying to balance how much you could tolerate and how much you liked having him around. It was… complicated. But lately, the thought of leaving him alone in your home was almost more stressful than having him tag along. Still, you weren’t sure you could handle Beetlejuice at work, of all places.

"Alright," you said, setting your mug down, "I’ll trust you. Just… try not to haunt anyone this time, okay?"

Beetlejuice smirked, his eyes gleaming with mischief. “Cross my heart, babe,” he said, drawing a line over his chest. You didn’t trust that for a second, but you had no choice but to leave him behind and head out.

At Work

Everything seemed fine at first. You settled into your routine, the normalcy of it all providing a brief reprieve from your unusual houseguest. But then, halfway through the morning, you noticed something off.

Your pen was missing. And not just missing—floating midair, inches from your hand.

"Beetlejuice.," you hissed under your breath, scanning the room for any sign of him. Sure enough, from the corner of your eye, you saw a familiar flash of black and white dart behind a filing cabinet.

Of course he’d followed you. You should’ve known.

“Get back here,” you muttered, glancing around to make sure no one else saw the floating pen.

Suddenly, Beetlejuice appeared right next to you, leaning against your desk with a smug grin. He was dressed in some sort of disguise—a ridiculous pair of sunglasses and a baseball cap that didn’t hide anything. “Nice place you got here, babe. Real lively.”

You groaned, dropping your head into your hands. “I told you to stay at home.”

“Yeah, well, I got bored,” he said with a shrug. “Thought I’d see how my favorite breather spends their day.”

“This is not going to end well,” you mumbled, already dreading the inevitable..

The At-Work Antics

Beetlejuice, to his credit, tried to behave—for all of five minutes. Then the pranks began. It started small: pens going missing, your keyboard typing random words on its own. But as the day wore on, he grew bolder.

At one point, your boss, Mr. Thompson, came by to drop off some news. You tried to stay focused, nodding along as he talked, but out of the corner of your eye, you saw Beetlejuice sneaking up behind him, his eyes full of mischief.

"Don’t," you mouthed, but it was too late.

With a flick of his hand, Beetlejuice made Mr. Thompson’s tie start dancing—literally. The fabric wriggled and twisted as though it had a life of its own, and you watched in horror as your boss froze, staring down at his tie in confusion.

“What the—” Mr. Thompson muttered, tugging at the tie, but it kept moving.

You shot Beetlejuice a death glare, mouthing “Stop it” as discreetly as possible. He just winked, looking way too pleased with himself, and finally let the tie drop limp again.

Mr. Thompson blinked, bewildered, but seemed to shake it off. “Must be static or something,” he muttered before walking off, completely unaware of the ghostly trickster behind him.

You exhaled in relief. “Beej, I swear…”

“Hey, I didn’t get caught, did I?” Beetlejuice cackled, clearly enjoying himself. “Lighten up, honey. You gotta admit, that was funny.”

“You’re going to get me fired,” you hissed, though you couldn’t completely stifle the laugh bubbling up in your chest.

For the rest of the day, Beetlejuice stayed close, pulling small pranks here and there. A co-worker’s coffee inexplicably turned neon green, another’s stapler kept vanishing from their desk. Every time you saw that flash of stripes, your heart raced in equal parts anxiety and amusement.

After Work

By the time you made it home, you were exhausted. Beetlejuice had finally vanished, likely slipping back to your home long before you could leave. When you walked through the door, he was sprawled across the couch as usual, looking far too smug.

“Fun day at work?” he asked, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

“You’re a menace,” you muttered, dropping your bag on the floor. “A complete and utter menace.”

“And yet, you didn’t banish me,” he shot back, his grin widening. “So… you really do love having me around.”

You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t quite argue with him. As frustrating as it was having him tag along—and as much as he drove you crazy—you had to admit, life was a lot less lonely with him in it.

“Maybe,” you muttered, flopping onto the couch beside him. “Just… try not to get me fired next time, alright?”

Beetlejuice chuckled, tossing an arm around your shoulders. “No promises, toots. But I’ll try not to ruin your life.”

It wasn’t much, but it was something.

[luunamoona]

the way community handled queerness is honestly so peak. like, there're 3 main moments i can think of in the show where queerness was apparent and mentioned: advanced gay, queer studies and advanced waxing and britta's pitch in emotional concequences of broadcast television.

in advanced gay, the cornelius hawthorne is seen as a villian for having traits like being abusive towards his son, pierce, him being really racist and him being homophobic. this acknowledgement of homophobia being a bad thing is definitely good for the early 2010s, as many shows treated being queer as a joke back then. also cornelius being fucking murdered at the end of the episode solidifies the fact his actions were deemed immoral and he therefore had his comeuppance.

community only ever uses queerness as a punchline in the context of troy and abed's relationship, the punchline usually being "look at how romantic these 2 friends are how silly", which could be seen as homophobia as the same context with a man and a woman would be treated differently by the showrunners as it'd be turned into a romantic subplot.

the next example i have is from queer studies and advanced waxing. having the dean tell richie and carl that he "isn't openly anything and gay doesn't begin to cover it" is much more progressive than many other media at that time, and even now, as they'd usually have the queer character just be gay for convenience. this need for convenience is commented on in the episode with richie and carl basically coercing the dean into adopting a label that is inaccurate but convenient for his straight peers. back to my previous point, presenting queerness as being more complex and having more nuance than just gay and straight is something that is very useful to queer viewers as it presents an option beyond these 2 ends of the spectrum. unlike what other shows may do with this concept, community treats it seriously, showing the dean's inner conflict with presenting with an identity that isn't his, with lines like "i feel sick". (also side point, the line "i make gayness look like mormonism" goes so hard)

finally, there's britta's pitch in emotional concequences of broadcast television. in this, the dean protests britta's decision to make him transgender and not "all this other stuff". something i love about that scene is the ability to critique queer represention without insulting it. as a trans person, i've seen a good amount of transphobia is television. this isn't one of these times. being able to have trans identity be a part of the punchline without it being insulted is something that is apparently very hard for screenwriters of sitcoms to do, so i commend them for being able to do that. as well as this, this scene acts as a criticism of how basic queer representation in media is, how they like having one distinct, easy to understand label to give their token character, ignoring "all this other stuff". it's telling us that, like in queer studies and advanced waxing, queer idenity isn't black and white, it's a wide spectrum of identities that comes in many, many different colors.

all in all, community's representation of queerness and how it treats insults to queerness is something a lot of other shows should try to strive for. in my opinion, it has some of the most nuanced takes of queer identity and representation out of any sitcom that doesn't have queer people as a target audience. it feels very fitting, since the show is literally called community and it about a group of misfits who bond over their shared messed up-ness. this show is all about finding your people and accepting everyone, as pierce says in for a few paintballs more, "flaws and all". i think the showrunners had an impression this show would speak to a lot of queer people and i love that they were able to make us feel welcome just as greendale does to the study group.

[arcielee]

I want to enjoy season 2 of House of the Dragon, but Ryan Condal is a dumb cunt, a brief essay. Feel free to ignore.

It feels like he was handed a delicious fucking sandwich and this man-child has picked away the layers until there is only soggy bread left to serve, and then he has the audacity to offer it to me, saying: "Delicious!"

I cannot stand the cheesy sitcom moments; first it was the Wrong Twin trope and now the Septa Shenanigans. I do not like how they are pushing for Team Black to appear faultless, and I also hate how they keep stripping away the humanity, unity, the loyalty that the Greens had for their own. That was pivotal in the book because it was the only reason they went to war, why Aegon decided to step up–because he loves his family.

But instead, Ryan is desperate to push this "good" guys vs "bad" guys narrative that he has in his head. Now the Greens are bumbling idiots who do not care what the other is doing, unless it's to belittle them, and the woe-is-them Blacks have been ordained by the gods to take what is "rightfully" theirs while making Rhaenyra some fucking saint...

...and I just think his soggy bread is dumb.

He is very fortunate that the cast can interpret this shit writing and act their asses off. This is the only reason why I will finish the show, because I have yet seen anyone that has not delivered in the role they were given.

But Condal (and Sara Hess) are dead to me once this series wraps up.