#loss in the family

[madfishmonger]

RIP Mary Stelmaschuck/Macklem/Best, my grandmother, seen here with my mother as a baby circa 1952. She was a huge influence on my life and she will be deeply missed. 1927-2024

[karanan]

.

Lost my maternal grandfather last weekend. He'd been sick for a while, mostly old age and heart failure. He would've turned 89 later this year so his time was come. From what I understand he fortunately passed peacefully in his sleep at the hospital after descending into delirium in the past week. I last saw him on Easter when I was visiting family, he seemed very tired but otherwise up and walking.

My grandpa was a kind man who always had my back. I'll never forget when I nervously came out to my grandparents and grandpa immediately grabbed his phone to change my name in his contacts and enthusiastically showed me. He would call and angrily complain if I had been treated unfairly by a company or service. He spent over 65 loving years married to my grandma. He built so many things in his life, and did not forget to nurture in his own quiet way. Rest in peace grandpa, I love you.

[dwarfysays]

Friday, March 31, 2023

I have to add the date, because Tumblr doesn’t.

February 25, 2023 my mother dies from COVID and lung cancer. She lived 17 months beyond her prognosis. So, I suppose we should be grateful for the extra time we had with her. For sure the first 15 of those 17 could be considered actual quality time. Her health took a steep decline when she contracted RSV. She didn’t really recover well enough before getting COVID. That was it. Lung cancer + COVID is pretty much the end. That same day Igthor went bat shit crazy on my brothers trying to break into the house.

Igthor= psychotic sibling that sibling “C” has a second restraining order against.

That same day a prayer novena was commenced for our mother. We continued the novena daily until the 9th day. We do a prayer on the 40th day after Mom’s death.

Igthor was arrested and released a day later on bail. Later charges were dropped against her due to the complicating factor of our mother’s death.

March 13th we had the viewing and memorial. Mom looked gray inside the coffin. It was all surreal. We each said a eulogy. Mine was of being sorry and being grateful. It’s worth saying we all should be grateful to C for caring for Mom and Dad these past couple of years. C is the reason Mom lasted as long as she did. Both our parents attended mass every Sunday until they were house bound. Then they had somebody come to the house to hold private mass with them.

That day two of our 1st degree maternal cousins came for the services. Annalynn and her husband John and Marianne. We have met Annalyn and John before. It was a first meeting for Marianne. Both of them are very sweet, very nice. They were to stay in town until the 16th.

On March 14th, we buried our mom. The funeral mass was at the church our parents faithfully attended until the end. Mom’s casket was set by the altar. Because of the restraining order and her atrocious behavior the day Mom passed, Igthor was not allowed to attend. But, with the help of close family friends she was allowed to. They limited her to the sound proof childrens’ room to watch mass. I think it’s fair that she got to say goodbye to our mom. We just did not want her to turn the funeral proceedings into a circus with her antics and over the top drama.

From there, the funeral procession motorcade made its way to the nearby veteran’s cemetery. That’s Mom’s final resting place. It’s worth noting that it rained heavily that day. Under rainy skies, the priest made his funeral sermon and we each laid our hands on the coffin to say goodbye to Mom. C stood beside me as we kept our hands on the casket. I placed my arms around her to comfort her. The grandchildren were also around the casket grieving. Then came Igthor bowing down in grief. C stepped away and sat at a nearby covered area. A nephew came over to try and comfort Igthor, but she told him to ��get the fuck away from me”. I looked over at the other nieces and nephews and they stood in silent disapproval of Igthor. The cemetery representative told us that we needed to leave as they will take Mom’s remains over to the burial site. There will also be another funeral burial coming right after us.

March 15th, hanging out with the cousins in the best tourist sites. It continued to rain off and on that day as well. We started at Liberty Station so they can get a taste of popular fare here. Then off to the Cabrillo monument tidal pools and museum above. It was the first time Marianne had seen the Pacific Ocean state side. Despite the weather they enjoyed the outing

The La Jolla “Childrens Pool” was the next stop. We watched the harbor seals and their pups for a while.

Final stop was the Sky Deck at the Del Mar Heights center. One of my cousins confided in me that her husband has Alzheimer’s. I asked about a support group or friends she could rely upon. They live in Minnesota. She said they have their church group for moral support. I was wondering if there were groups knowledgeable in the disease that could help her out. She said that there will come a time when her husband will need full time care and that he do NOT want to be in a care facility. That means she will be his care provider/wet nurse. Cousin said if she has to stop working it would be financially devastating if they stayed here in the US. So the plan is to retire in the PI where the two of them can live off of his retirement and she can fully care for him. He is a nice guy, from what I can see. But he is at least 15 years her senior. He came to the PI to find her, marry her and bring her to the states. Was his original intent was to find and marry a future care giver? That makes me sick to my stomach. Anyways whatever path they choose, they have family and friends to help. I don’t know if she confided in my mom before she died or even any of my siblings. I am sad for her and wish her circumstances would greatly improve. Best case scenario he passes peacefully in his sleep before he becomes incapacitated by Altzeimers. That may seem cruel, but equally as cruel is to force his much younger wife to watch him degenerate and have to wipe his ass to his last agonizing breath. She has family and friends for what that’s worth. At the end of the day it will be just poor cousin with and old man she has to feed and bathe towards the end of his life.

I failed to mention our father through all of this. He’s broken up about this. But he braved the elements in a wheel chair none the less to pay last respects to his life partner and love. Mom was everything to him. She carried a lot of the burdens of raising a family for him. She managed their bills and assets for him. He was diagnosed with cancer first and it was stage 4 prostate cancer! It had already spread to his spine. We were shocked, we were already starting to grieve for Dad. Mom was looking over him and caring as best she could for him until she got sick. My how fortunes have turned! A few years ago, we were bracing ourselves for losing our dad before our mom. Now Dad visits Mom’s grave.

[river--ghost]

work all night on a drink of rum

daylight come and me wan go home

stack banana til the morning come

daylight come and me wan go home

come mr tallyman tally me banana

daylight come and me wan go home

come mr tallyman tally me banana

daylight come and me wan go home

lift six foot seven foot eight foot bunch

daylight come and me wan go home

six foot seven foot eight foot bunch

daylight come and me wan go home

day

me say dayo

daylight come and me wan go home

day

me say day

me say day

me say dayo

daylight come and me wan go home

a beautiful bunch of ripe banana

daylight come and me wan go home

hide the deadly black tarantula

daylight come and me wan go home

lift six foot seven foot eight foot bunch

daylight come and me wan go home

six foot seven foot eight foot bunch

daylight come and me wan go home

day

me say dayo

daylight come and me wan go home

day

me say day

me say day

me say dayo

daylight come and me wan go home

come mr tallyman tally me banana

daylight come and me wan go home

come mr tallyman tally me banana

daylight come and me wan go home

dayo

dayo

daylight come and me wan go home

day

me say day

me say day

me say dayo

daylight come and me wan go home

[uncanny-tranny]

Fat people deserve mobility aids, too. No matter if it's connected to their fatness or not, because having a mobility issue that is connected to one's fatness won't change that they're still fat and still have the issue at hand. Fat people don't deserve to "tough it out" because fatness should be this divine punishment doled out to those who "deserve" it. Fat disabled people deserve to have the peace of mind that they can exist in whatever way is most comfortable and accessible to them

[metanarrates]

I genuinely feel like an alien compared to my coworkers when they try to chat with me about things like dating and weight loss. like what are you SAYING about "oh you know it's just so hard to make your man understand the instructions you give him?" why are you trying to connect with me by complaining that you gained 15 pounds? is this how most people form connections in the workplace? i for real do not get it

[dirtytransmasc]

I'm just imagining Sevika charging into battle not knowing where her girls are. she hears whispers from the battlefield that Isha is dead and that Jinx is gone. taken. captured. surrendered. she doesn't want to accept either. she almost refuses. and it's in the back of her mind that she has to live so she can find her girls, and at the very least, remember them.

and she almost dies. she thinks that there might not be anyone to remember them. to find them.

and then she doesn't. she doesn't die. and one thing leads to another, and she's on the council. and....

she still doesn't know what happened to them.

and then Vi, the girl who, justifiably, hates her guts, comes back. and the look on her face all She needs to know Jinx is gone. but she can't accept it. she can't.

she demands to know what happened, in a clipped, gruff manner, not displaying much care, but her eyes are teary and her gut is churning.... and Vi just says they're gone.

and all Sevika can do is whisper "... both?"

and she doesn't wait for an answer. the face is enough. "how?".

the answer kills her.

she walks away. murmurs an apology over her shoulder.

she doesn't know what to do with the feeling in her chest. her fingers trace over the carving in her arm.

[intistone]

this killed my artblock okay

well.

the hyperfixation created something something au, so....yeah.

AU where the whole Book of Bill and the backstory doesn't change at all, but instead of just putting bill into space therapy, the AXOLOTL also creates...uh.

This guy.

Not a twin, not a second chance, not a reincarnation.

This Bill, or "Nick" (chosen by Mabel because he's got a nicked side from le punch) is more of a "what couldve been" alternate created for the purpose of being a test or an example for the real bill. Everything Bill was SUPPOSED to develop personality wise before the collapse of his dimension...but with his memories sill intact from that moment. It's not a restart and memory loss thing, but more of a coping and learning to heal, starring the Pines family losing their minds over what seems like o be a lookalike of the evil dorito man.

Again....his only purpose was to show the real Bill what could have been, if his coping methods weren't as....unhinged and destructive. So he wasn't intentionally supposed to be a long-term friend or anything to the town of Gravity Falls.

....but things change.

Things change.

some more info stuff under the cut about this au :D

Nick is nervous, anxious, uses humor to cope, and a bit mischevious (bit of the og Bill there), but takes out his trauma/guilt on art and creating instead of destructive tendencies. He frequently likes to throw up murals and run off.

He has multiple self-care issues. Just in general because of his memories and because of his fractured physical state.

He had to do a LOT of work to gain the Pine's trust. Obviously. but he would definitely get along with Mable and, though it would take a lot more time, Dipper. Because....Dipper. The Book of Bill really showcased how pissed Dipper was with Bill's actions.

The Pines don't like to call him Bill because...bad association with that name. Hence the name Nick, because they kinda think its not REALLY bill. just a less fucked up version

His powers are limited and fractured due to being an altered form. He can't levitate, warp reality, or be considered immortal. however, he still IS Bill Cipher....so all that may be buried in there somewhere.

Bro has a LOT of stuff to work through and unpack.

[reds-skull]

My mom named one of the street cats she feeds Tommy, so I thought to myself, "what if..."

[cerleansky]

My therapist was so real for saying the meaning of life is found in connection.

People hug their friends when they meet up and hug them a little tighter when it comes time to say goodbye. My grandfather rebuilt the broken rocking horse my grandmother had as a child, a gift from her father. There's an indescribable ache that goes along with seeing someone you used to know intimately, the becoming of a common stranger. Coincidences that bind, one time I got an uber and the driver used to live in my home before me. It was the last place he saw his father alive as a child and he nearly cried when I told him the walls were still the same colour.

Has anyone ever gotten over their childhood best friend? Is that alone not a testament to the fact we are more than blood and bones.

It's all about connection, friends.

[burr-ell]

What I love about Spy x Family's recent chapters concerning Martha and Henry—two secondary characters with little direct connection to the plot as we've known it—is that Endo's taking the opportunity to once again hammer home what the story's actual stakes are. The idea of potential conflict between Ostania and Westalis isn't just window dressing for a wacky wholesome badass family gimmick—the previous wars are real events that various characters lived through, and all of them are in some way affected by it and have good reasons to want to avoid another one. This is primarily an action-adventure/slice-of-life manga with a lot of sendups to spy movies and pop culture of the 60s, but I think those things hold much more weight with the thematic underpinning of the horrors of war and the ruin it leaves behind.

[jesncin]

John Constantine, the Chimera Twin storyline. A fancomic about grief, and our reimagining of the Golden Boy arc from Hellblazer.

[r3ynah]

Yoo, same

Kon stood nervously beside the shut front door of his family home (which was currently empty due to every single family member of his were busy), he fiddled with his fingers, his senses seemingly becoming more and more sensitive as time went on, glancing up at the grandfather clock Mr. Bruce Wayne gifted to them every so often.

This was the day, the day Kon will tell his first ever long time 'normal' best friend his secret, finally after so many years he could really free himself from the guilt of lying and hiding his identity to Dani, he imagines the hilarious shocked face Dani will make when Kon tells her his Super boy, and how excited she will be not even sparing him a minute to answer her dozens of questions, Kon chuckled to himself as the idea swam in his mind.

But his chuckles, were stopped as a thought floated up in his head 'What if it'll be the other way? what if she'll never talk to me ever again?' Kon silently thought as he tapped his foot overwhelmed by the thought of his best friend not seeing him as a regular human being anymore and just a clone freak, he didn't want that the black hair blue-eyed girl despite her features was not part of the Wayne family, which shocked Kon upon their first meeting due to the fact Dani also lived in Gotham.

But Kon found out soon enough that Dani lived with her older siblings, a cool older sister named Jazz, Jazz had red hair, but her smile was the same as Dani's, and an odd older brother who Kon thought at first was her Twin brother, it didn't help that their names was also very similar Dani having an i, while her older brother Danny had a Y, they were cool people, Kon would like to hang out with them more often, but that'll will only happen if Dani still sees Kon as Kon after this discussion.

But is it all worth it? to just reveal it his life, his identity? after all Dani was the only time Kon ever felt normal, he wanted to be happy, he wanted to be understood, he wanted to be normal, he wanted to be selfish, he wanted Dani.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door which startles him greatly, he knows who's at the opposite of door, after all only one person can ever go sneak up on him a surprise him to death, 'Dani' was the only thing he can think about as he turned the doorknob to open the front door.

And "Dani" was the only thing he breathed out as he faced the girl that stood Infront of him, Dani always liked to put on comfy and edgy clothes that makes people mistake her for a boy if it weren't for her long hair, which Kon realized Dani never cared if she was called the opposite gender she finds it as a compliment, her regular long side bangs that usually resides on the right side of her face was put up with a hair clip, her face was in full view, and even the gods can't fathom on how pretty she was.

She smiled at him with her oddly crooked sharp teeth, and Kon knew he was in danger right there and then, but for the reasons you don't think it is.

"Heya Konnie, what made you call me in like the middle of the semester?" Dani asked as she tilted her head, "Just want to talk with you." Kon stated as he moved to the side to give her room to head in, after letting Dani walked in Kon closed the door behind her.

"Come follow me, let's go to the balcony" Kon said as he grabbed Dani's wrist to drag her where she complied easily and just let Kon do his thing, Kon breathed out the trust Dani had in him, made him want to just breakdown right there in the middle of the living room floor, because he knows that after this there will be a chance Dani won't want to be there to spend the life they had imagined in the past together in the near future.

But he kept himself strong after all there was still the other positive half.

They had reached the balcony in less than 3 minutes, Kon sat silently on one of the sofas placed, Dani following and sitting on the left side, Dani put her head on top of Kon's shoulder, and Kon let's her, Dani took Kon's hands and played with them putting his ring on different fingers, Kon let's her, she tangles her hands with Kon's, and Kon let's her.

"Dani..." Kon let out, Dani hummed in response

"I need to confess to you about something." Kon mumbled, this time Dani looked up at him.

"What is it?" Dani asked, Kon looked down at her, meeting her eyes was hard, did it ever get this suffocating when talking to her in the past?

definitely not. there was no time, place, or event Kon ever felt uncomfortable with her next to him. Kon slowly got onto his knees Infront of Dani making her confused.

"Konnie? why are you kneeling" Dani giggled as she found the scene Infront of her utterly funny but stopped when she saw how serious Kon looked and how his hands that were still holding onto Dani's was trembling. "Kon, are you okay?"

"Danielle, I have been hiding something from you for a very long time, and I can't handle keeping it for much longer" Kon's voice trembled, there was no turning back the consequences can come later, he needs to let this guilty burden out of his chest. he looks up at Dani with her eyebrows furrowed and blue eyes that glinted in worry.

she looks ethereal and only heaven knows on how Kon yearns for his best friend.

"I'm Super boy" Kon uttered out his voice cracking but only slightly.

He yearns to tell her the truth.

"I have been Super boy even before we met"

He yearns for her approval

"Not only that, but I'm also a clone of the one and only Superman"

He yearns for her acceptance

"I'm sorry for lying and hiding my identity from you."

He yearns for her forgiveness

"Dani, I love you so much it hurts." he went quiet his body full of anxiety his knees became weak as he observed any signs of emotion in the black-haired girl's face.

He yearns for her.

And he has a feeling she know it too.

Is this it? everything they worked hard for this friendship disappearing just like that, on this day, here in the balcony? please no, his heart couldn't possibly take that, she wants her beside him, he'll take any route of destiny as long as she stays, even if she turns to despise his very being, he'll take it with no hesitation.

As long as she's with me, everything's worth it.

He didn't even realize he was crying until he felt a pair of hands caressing his face wiping his tears in the process, Dani made him look at her, she smiled at him softly then she opened her mouth and uttered "It's okay I forgive you, thank you for telling me." Dani held him close and let Kon's head rest on her chest. "I promise you, I'm not going anywhere, after all any place I'll go will be painstakingly boring without you beside me."

Finally letting go of the mixed emotions that had built inside of him, Kon cried, he cried until his throat became sore and his eyes became red from the tears, and Dani stayed until the very end just like she promised.

PLUS SCENE

Kon laid on the sofa tired and lazily staring at the ceiling, a random cartoon show played from the TV, one of his hands was holding onto to Dani's Hand, as the girl looked focused on the show, Kon let his eyes close for a second succumbing to the peace, until Dani opened her mouth.

"You said earlier that you were a clone, right?" Dani asked her eyes remained on the TV

Kon hummed "yeah why?"

"Yoo, same" Dani laughed, her reply made the exhaustion from Kon's body leave immediately, he sat straight up and his mouth open as he looked at Dani in surprise.

"Excuse me, WHAT??" Kon stated in disbelief, Dani bent over clutching her stomach as she laughed at his reaction.

[celerydays]

✨ Commission for @silverxstardust ✨

Taking a bit of a break from their studies to practice some dancing (and maybe study the soft glow of the candlelight on each other's faces instead 🥺)

Thank you so much for trusting me with your commission! Seriously the cutest scenario 😭💗

[cheese-water]

Generation Loss is a comedic tragedy in every sense of the word. Every character we see exemplifies this fact, but no one other than The Austin Show proves its truth.

We begin at the carousel. Austin, Gay, takes his turn by pleading for himself to live because he has a wife and children back home. The rest of the cast interrogates him about his “wife and kids,” clearly suspicious of his truthfulness without even knowing his dubbed “title.” Everyone in the room treats Austin like a joke.

In turn, so do we.

Next, we reach the closet and shortly after the failed drag show, Austin remarks, “Look, I uh… I didn’t expect to die here.” It’s a moment of pure honesty, whether we like it or not. It happens again when the Puzzler tries to party with them, and Austin has to angrily remind him that they are his captives and are actively trying to kill them.

Austin: “What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? We're trying to get out of here. I have children and wives— wife. One wife! What is this some sort of game? I’ve been stuck in hear for hours it seems. We’re trying to get out. Why is nobody else freaking out? We’ve got C4 strapped to our neck…”

It isn’t until Ethan’s death, his blood pooling out from underneath the door, Austin screaming at the others, begging them to have a reaction, to care about their circumstances, to care about death, that we finally understand Austin’s role in Generation Loss.

After all, in every great comedy, someone always has to play the straight man.

[anotherdragon]

Glad Ranboo clarified that people who buy the VHS tapes are allowed to share stuff they find online 😭. From what they're saying its important to gen one so it would be a shame for all of that to be hidden in limited edition content. That also requires a VHS player.