#or about how common it is to discuss weight and weight loss

[metanarrates]

I genuinely feel like an alien compared to my coworkers when they try to chat with me about things like dating and weight loss. like what are you SAYING about "oh you know it's just so hard to make your man understand the instructions you give him?" why are you trying to connect with me by complaining that you gained 15 pounds? is this how most people form connections in the workplace? i for real do not get it

[penvisions]

there's a place and time {joel miller x reader}

Pairing: Younger / No-outbreak! Joel Miller x Neighbor! Reader

Summary: Moving back to your parents house wasn't part of the plan, neither was being a thorn in your neighbor's side. but you roll with the punches, and hey, he's kinda cute when he gets huffy.

Word Count: 3.1k

Warnings: age gap (joel is mid 30's / reader is mid 20's), angst, biting words, argumentative language, joel is a lil meanie but so is reader, grief, off-screen loss, depictions of depression, comfort, mushy stuff

A/N: this literally came out of nowhere, a random thought on the way to work and then a manic two hours of writing once i got home. this turned out a little different than first imagined, but i hope it reads well!

navigation || joel miller masterlist || main masterlist || ko-fi

“Why don’t you date?”

“Excuse me?” The form crouched in between kitchen counters looked up at you with a raised brow, surely mishearing the question.

“Dating, I know you know what that is.” You repeat yourself as you push your arms back to brace on the counter and hop up on it. The granite of it is cold on your bare thighs, the shorts you were wearing thrown on haphazardly when a panic stricken pair of teenagers had begun to bang on your door in the early afternoon. The words of ‘fire’ and “help!” spurring you into action where you had been napping on your couch. Now though, the oven was off, the blackened frozen pizza still on the rack and covered in foam from the fire extinguisher neither of them had known how to use. Their father had sent them upstairs, thanking you for helping them out and getting it taken care of. “Or the concept at least, yeah?”

“Don’t mean it’s any of your business, little lady.” Joel’s voice leaves no room for further conversation as he realizes you’re more serious than need be. Little quips between you two common, the unspoken understanding of not discussing the reason for your presence in the neighborhood mutual.

“I dunno, I remember you being real keen on the idea of me babysitting.” You take a sip of your soda, swiped from the fridge after everything had calmed down. “Would do you a favor now, should you need the night off for some…fun.”

“Dating and fun are two different things.”

“Dating can be fun, if you do it with the right person.”

“Yeah, and what do you know about that? Saw you move in all by your lonesome. No big, burly man helping you with your boxes.”

The fizzy drink sours on your tongue and you toss him a scowl as he stands. He’s a few feet away but you can feel the warmth of him as he stands at his full height. He’s reaching to close the oven door, the creak of metal on metal loud in the beat of silence.

“You wouldn’t know fun if it bit you on your perky ass, Miller.”

“Language, you’re in my house.” His brow furrows and he pins you with a stern look. Something you’d seen him give to his brother, his girls, the neighbor across the way when she wouldn’t take the hint that he didn’t want her dog shit in his yard.

“Old men like yourself deserve to have some fun every once in a while. They deserve happiness too.”

“Even if I did, it’s no concern of yours. Your daddy didn’t help pay for two degrees for you to end up babysitting for grocery money.”

The rebuttal on the tip of your tongue suddenly dissolved as you felt a shiver run down your spine. He’s right, you know he’s right. But you just…you couldn’t even open the envelope with the certificates let alone add them to your resume and begin the arduous task of job hunting.

“Fuck you, I was only offering to help out a neighbor.” The words are rough, rounded out with the weight of too many emotions. You shove off from the counter, abandoning your half-finished drink. A delicacy you enjoyed only over at his house, too expensive for you to indulge in as bills you never anticipated paying became your responsibility.

“I didn’t mean-“ He had the self-awareness to realize he said the wrong thing. His hands coming up from his waist to reach out for you, but you don’t look over your shoulder as you make your way through the kitchen.

“Don’t come to me if you do need someone to look after the girls. I wouldn’t take your money anyway.”

“C’mon now,” His full lips shape around your name, but you’re already out the door. Resisting the urge to let it slam shut behind you, your anger still so sharp and hot. But the girls didn’t deserve to feel it, even the echo of it in the slamming of a door. Despite being a dick, Joel was a good father to them. He’d made his home a nurturing and loving environment. You didn’t want to taint it with your stained hands.

As he stands there in his empty kitchen, the smell of burnt dough, smoke, and ammonia dizzies him as he watches you cross over his yard to yours next door. The blank expression on your face and the faint smears of dried pant all over your legs makes him regret his fast words. He had been going for teasing, but of course they had come out harsh and wounding.

You were someone he didn’t know how to interact with. So sweet and polite with the girls, with the neighbors. But you were a firecracker with him. Teasing, whipping words that rung around his head, and he recalled far too often. The little smirk that pulled at your lips as you said them, waited for his response or sputtering lack of one. His own pulled from him, making him feel like a teenager again, like a young man you hadn’t been suddenly left alone to raise a child. Like his old self, someone who stood a chance with you as you gave him your attention time and time again.

He had only ever met you through the words of your parents, the people who had once occupied the house beside his own. He had moved in with two six-year-olds just as you had shoved off to college upstate. The running joke was that it was perfect timing for him to have missed out on the perfect babysitter.

-

Graduation is supposed to be a time of celebration and proud smiles, at least that’s what everyone else got. The day you had counted down on the calendar and crossed off the passing ones as it neared was now a blur of too bright colors and phone calls with people telling you things you didn’t want to think about, let alone hear as your new reality.

A car accident, on the drive upstate. Both parents, reckless driver.

A house that had been recently paid off, left to you. Your name already on the deed, something you didn’t want to think about too hard. Close, you had been close with each of them and them as a unit. A small family but understanding. It was yours, the backdrop to your life and suddenly the two people were only memories.

The move had been quick, the apartment you shared with fellow graduate students mostly books and a beautiful desk. The bedframe taken apart to go while the shelves had been left for the next occupants.

You hadn’t shared the news with any of your roommates or friends, not wanting to taint their own celebrations and happy memories of the day you all worked so hard for. Addresses were exchanged, well wishes were meant, but of course it all faded as time had gone on. Their news of job offers and exciting dates had been good to hear, but with no good things to respond with of your own, it was hard to feel the same way about them as you once had. They reached out, worry coloring their words, which made you feel even worse.

It haunts you for days, as you seal yourself into the home that is now yours alone. The paint slathered on canvas dries and the brushes coated in it turn into hardened caps over the bristles. You’re allowing things to sit for too long, the water evaporating in the cups you use to rinse between swatches of color. The open paint tubes oxidizing and becoming unsalvageable. But you have no control.

The bed becomes damp with nights of sweat, from your tossing and turning body as the heat rises and the air conditioning that needs to be repaired is just another phone call. You don’t even think you know where your phone is. It can’t bear bad news if you don’t answer it. It can’t carry the end of your world if you don’t let it.

There’s a sharp knock on the door at some point, in the midst of the haze of days after storming out of Joel’s kitchen. You hadn’t been able to dissect the sounds of life going on outside your closed windows.

But it had, to the point where now someone was calling on you to make you return to it.

Shrugging on a robe, you hold it tight to your aching body as you push up from the bed. Bare feet sticking to the hardwood floor as the heat fills the home.

“What?” You can’t help but bark as you swing the door open, only to find a concerned Joel on the porch, with your phone in his hand.

“I found this in the kitchen, must’ve fallen off the counter in the madness of getting the fire out and callin’ me.” He holds it out to you, but you don’t move to take it. “Figured you needed it, there’s a lot of missed calls and voicemails. I may have left a few too, to check on ya. Haven’t seen you in a few days.”

“Been here, painting.”

“Okay, that’s…that’s good. Got everything you need? Food, water, someone comin’ to fix the A/C?” It’s an apology in the only way Joel Miller is capable of giving, the need to make sure someone is getting what they need, that they’re taken care of. He’s a good provider, to his girls, to his brother, to the neighborhood when he’s not beat down from long days in the sun with concrete and paint dried to his skin, with wood shavings and stain splotched on his jeans.

“No.”

“No?”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m my own person.”

Your name leaves his mouth on a sigh.

“I know that, but your parents…I know that kinda thing is-“

“I’m fine. Thanks for returning this.” You snatch it from his hand and go to close to door, not willing to hear what he has to say on the loss of your parents. For his credit, he let’s you. Knowing that you’re going through the motions, through the event in your own way. It doesn’t stop him from speaking loud enough for you to hear him through the door.

“The girls will be by with dinner later! Try to be nice to them, they ain’t me!”

-

The meal delivered by two smiling teenagers does lift your spirits a bit, even if all you do is shower and do a few loads of laundry. It’s a long process, the climb out of the hole that you had found yourself in.

Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months. You’re back to quipping across the yard with the man. His daughters delighting in the comraderies that underlies it all. It’s the height of summer now, the girls spending time with you to try their hand at painting. Sarah is better with bursts of color that compliment each other, vaguely floral. While Ellie is better with a muted palette imposed between detailed line art.

They always thank you for the time and attention, offering to help you clean up or tidy the house in exchange for watching over them when you notice Joel’s truck is still gone from their own driveway until late. They aren’t helpless, but you know what loneliness feels like and you don’t want them to become familiar with it.

You finally open the envelope containing your degrees, the last letters from your friends and pen down long responses. The stamps cute as you drop them off at the post office, the ornate certificates framed and hung above the desk in your father’s old office alongside his own.

Joel joins them most days, mid meal if he can make it in time. Food finding it’s way into your kitchen, something you’re sure is the combined effort of two pairs of small hands and one pair of big hands. The least you could do is turn it into something for everyone involved to enjoy.

But just as things seem to progress, they fall back apart. It wasn’t over a throwaway comment this time, though, but a piece of mail delivered from a local gallery asking after your willingness to partake in an exhibit. That they expressed their deepest condolences in this trying time.

The paint dries up again, another set of brushes left to ruin. The door goes unanswered, as does the phone you can hardly stand to look at. The lights don’t glow in the windows once the sun sets, no music is heard from behind thin screens, nor the sound of you humming along to it.

The house becomes a burden once again, shielding you from the world you as you feel the loss of your parents all over again.

-

You don’t hear the door open from where you’re sprawled on the floor of the bathroom, the shower is running but you didn’t make it under the spray. You’re fully clothed, having reached down underneath the vanity for a bottle of shampoo when your fingers had brushed over something else. A bottle of your mother’s favorite perfume. The one that lingered in every room she occupied, on every piece of clothing she adorned. It was her, the perfect encapsulation of who she was.

And it was staring at you inconspicuously from the shelf. The mere sight of it tearing the wound open once again and making it hard to breath.

That’s where Joel finds you. In tears over something as trivial as a tiny glass bottle. But he doesn’t bat an eye, he’s taking in the scene and shutting off the shower in a few easy steps.

“Hey now, come ‘ere, darlin’,” He’s crouching down beside you, hands reaching for your shaking body.

He’s so gentle, so soft as he pulls you up from the tiled floor and into his chest. Leaning back against rhe now closed vanity to support your weight. One hand on the back of your head, holding it to his chest, pleading with you to match his breathing so you don’t hurt yourself.

“Datin’ is hard, you’re right.” His words make you pause, confusion crowding out the wetness lingering in your eyes. The words from a conversation long ago pulling you out of your breakdown, the casual way he continues it.

“It is.” You insist, voice small and muffled as you refuse to pull your face from where it’s pressed against the warmth of his chest.

“Maybe…. maybe you’d be kind enough to try it with this grumpy old man. I’d sure like to give it a shot with someone like you.”

“I ain’t nothin’ special. Just the neighbor girl your dead friends talked about too much.”

“They loved you, darlin’. With everythin’ they had.” He holds tight to the hand you move underneath one of his. Seeking him out, to feel his skin on your own. “You are special, those paintings they showed me, you got a gift, honey.”

“Gifts don’t mean nothin’ when you got no one to share them with.”

“You share ‘em with the girls, they loved coming over here to spend time with you. Share ‘em with me, if you want. The girls and I are in your corner, we got you.”

“You don’t…you don’t want to date me. Every boy-“

“Boys don’t know how to date, that’s only something us old men know how to do. Will you let me show you, how it feels to be taken care of and looked after? To feel appreciated and like you aren’t a hindrance on nightly plans to play fuckin’ video games?”

“I like video games,” You sniffle, voice gaining strength as the conversation goes on. He’s soothing you, even as he just sits on the floor with you in his lap, his arms around you and your body pressed up against him. It’s the most comfortable you’ve felt in months. And it’s just Joel being Joel, it’s just you being you.

“Show me, if you want. Let me get to know you, let me show you what it’s like to be loved, not just sought after for a night of fun.”

“I don’t date old men.”

“No?”

“You’re not that much older than me, so I wouldn’t really call you old.”

“Cause then you’d have to admit you’re old too, huh?” He reads the meaning behind the change of thought, as if he was in your head right there alongside you.

“Yeah, we ain’t old. Life just beat us down, but damn if it didn’t touch your perky ass.” You reach a hand down from where it’s cradled between your chests, to pinch at where his backside it firmly planted on the floor. He jolts a bit, not expecting the action. But his rumbling laugh lightens the air around you both even more so.

“You goin’ soft on me, a compliment like that is makin’ my heart pick up. Can you feel it?”

“Yeah, cause you’re a big ole sap.” You can’t help the breathy chuckle that escapes past your lips, the twitch of a smile trying to break out. You can, indeed, feel the way his heart is thudding in his chest. The truth of your words and his making you feel some of the weight lift from your own.

“You ain’t gotta clue how sappy I could me, lemme show you, huh?”

“Only if you promise it’ll make me roll my eyes and groan.” You lean back enough to see his face, the roll of your eyes up to take in his hopeful expression allowing you to know how much he means it. Your own heartbeat picks up and you swear he can feel it too, if the crook of his lips underneath his mustache is any indication.

“Only if you promise to have a smile on your face while you do it.” He leans in, nose brushing against yours. The action so soft, so welcome after the isolation you had subjected yourself to.

“Deal.” You breathe out against his lips.

“It’s a deal then.” He presses them to yours, and damn it all, but it does bring a smile to your face.

taglist: @sawymredfox @tuquoquebrute @littlemisspascal @hiddenbabynyc @jessthebaker

@joelsgreys @tonysopranosrobe @morallyinept

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

wait, what's the difference between hpv and hiv and aids? i thought hiv was just aids and hpv was like. another term for hiv please 😭

okay. before I do this. I do want to remind everyone that this kind of info is incredibly easy to seek for yourself, with the help of simple search times like "what is hpv" or "hiv wikipedia," and I do really encourage doing that! learning how to seek out information is an important skill!

but god I am going to do this anyway, here we go.

HPV is human papillomavirus, an extremely common viral infection that virtually every sexually active person will contract at some point in their life. there are nearly 200 stains of HPV, nearly all of which are harmless, but there are 2 that can (but don't always) cause genital warts and 13 that can (but don't always) cause cancers of the cervix, anus, vagina, vulva, penis, and throat. roughly 90% of cases of HPV clear up and go away on their own within two years of contraction without ever causing any health problems; the majority of people who have it will be asymptomatic the entire time and may never know they have it.

HIV is human immunodeficiency virus, a virus that attacks and drastically weakens the immune system when untreated. it is considered an STI but is not spread exclusively through sexual contact, as it can also be transmitted via unclean syringes shared between people as well as from parents to children via childbirth or breastfeeding. while HIV can be fatal, usually when it develops into AIDS, as I posted about earlier tonight proper medicine and management can allow people with HIV can live full, healthy lives and even completely negate their risk of transmitting HIV.

it's also important to discuss PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis), which can be taken by people who do not have HIV to drastically reduce their risk of contracting it, and PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) which can be taken for 28 days starting up to 72 hours after potential exposure to HIV to greatly reduce the risk of the virus taking hold.

AIDS is acquired immunodeficiency syndrome. AIDS develops when HIV is left untreated and progresses over years, when the immune system has been severely depleted. at this point people are very prone to what are known as "opportunistic" infections and cancers, further health complications that their immune system is unable to fight off as it ordinarily would. people with AIDS often deal with a state of constant fatigue, fever, chills, weakness, inflammation, and weight loss.

so, you know. slightly different things!

[anachronistica]

Put the work in.

i think it’s important when submissive and traditional women are unmarried to be constantly working on themselves. I feel the same way about Dominant and traditional men. Even though we are single, we should all be putting in the effort to learn to become the best partners for our dynamics as we can.

While I am no longer single, I mentor, coach and help many friends who are single in this lifestyle. These are my recommendations of why to continuously be learning and growing as a Dom or a sub while single, both sfw and nsfw.

Things a sub can/should do to prepare for a future Dom-

learn to cook and to set a proper table

learn to communicate in a polite, constructive way with no dramatic or abrasive tones

get into a good routine with cleaning and know how to clean / stain remove / disinfect all types of surfaces

have a decent wardrobe for casual, semi formal and formal attire

work on any weight loss or gain / appearance / health related (mental and physical) issues to keep yourself healthy

read up about common dynamic rules, expectations, day in the lifes, etc. to see what you like and don’t like (as well as collars, contracts, etc.)

learn to budget , grocery shop, meal prep / plan, learn block schedules techniques

do basic research on gardening, canning, food preservation / storage.

have strong knowledge of Dom/sub sexuality, kink, and common expectations

most importantly - find your limits and your dealbreakers on what you do and do not in a partner and both sexually and dynamic-wise. Make notes. Know what you need before you start vetting.

What Doms could do to prepare for a future sub-

be fully educated on the lifestyle, Domestic discipline, Trad living, consent, freeuse, contracts, types of commitment collars, all of it

have rough outline of expectations, rules, routines, future goals for what they would and would not expect from a sub (that can be eventually tailored to your specific dynamic)

Know their preferred methods of domestic discipline to use

work on their career, securing a decent career and stability

build up all savings accounts and investments

secure a decent place to live / buy a home with the thought in mind of having a private space for discipline to be conducted

have solid formed opinions about common topics brought up during vetting and lifestyle discussions

know their kinks and sexual expectations but don’t be gross about it when presenting it

Anything you would add or subtract?

[ghiblinsm]

cannon list

first movie:

Wade doesn't actually know anything that really happened to you in the workshop, just bits and pieces that were hinted by Francis.

“You have to live with the shitty thing you did for the rest of your life.”

you love your dad, really you do. but you will always have a bit of resentment for what he signed you up for.

"It doesn't get better, and it doesn't get easier. I can't keep lying to myself,"

during the months you were being injected fluids in your blood, Austin had kept asking his mom to call Wade and see what happened.

“Yo, this is Wade. I’m either out doing mercenary stuff, getting into trouble, or just avoiding your call. Leave a message. Beep”

Anytime Wade sees you with clothes that show your arms and legs, he always thinks about how the scars on your skin were caused by him. (not s.h scars but thunder like scars caused by other types of torture)

“Who knew that bringing my daughter to a workshop full of dangerous crap would be a bad idea? Genius move, Wade. Just chalk it up to another day of being a fantastic father.”

He's never brought it up but sometimes he notices you looking in the mirror a little longer then usual then sees you later in a new outfit of pants or leggings and a long sleeve or cardigan.

"I can't stand to look at my scars, every time I look at them, I'm reminded at what happened. How he failed to protect me and i don't want to hold that against him..."

More often then you two both like to admit, you both make a bunch of self-deprecating jokes about being a bad father/daughter.

Wade: "You know, sweetheart, I always thought I'd be a great dad… but I guess I took 'daddy issues' to a whole new level, huh? Can I put that on my résumé?"

You: "At least you made the list. I didn’t even make it onto the ‘good daughter’ list. I’m just the bonus kid with the emotional baggage. You’d think I’d be on sale by now."

second movie:

When you first met Russell you could only think about how scary it must've been for him to be surrounded by people trying to say they knew how he felt.

"You’re a mess, Russell. But I took responsibility for your actions, and I can’t just leave you."

when you were put in the ice box prison you kind of gave up, just like you father. except since you saw how much Russell was trying you decided to at least help him not get beat up.

"I’ve spent my whole life trying to do what’s best for everyone else. I forgot to take care of myself."

during the whole ordeal your heart and mind were in-between resentment and pity for your dad. he was acting like the world stopped when vanessa was shot when it didn't. you still feel bad for feeling this way.

"The only way to get through the day is to keep pushing forward, even if it feels like you’re dragging the weight of the world."

a secret you didn't even tell your dad was that when most of the x force died you giggled and sent a video to Austin.

"I'm sorry for your loss...*later* Austin i need to laugh so fricking badly but i can't because i'm with colossus. what do i do?"

Wade's a little disappointed in himself for this one but, when you all were in the ice box prison and he saw you trying to keep Russell out of shit, he thought he could leave Russell in your hands and stay out of everything, despite more prisoners getting violent.

"I want to be the person who helps people. I want to be the person who can make a difference. But I don’t know how."

Third movie

the day Wade tried to join the avengers you were chilling with Austin who was on the phone with Peter and somehow interviews came up in discussion and you heard Peter ask Austin how common alliterative names were because Happy was talking about a disrespectful guy that came in for an interview and had a 'dumb' name.

"I’m just a guy who loves a good time. Who cares about the rest?"

when nicepool led y'all to his honda, you were thinking back to peter's situation with two other spiderman and when wolverine and your dad were in the car you couldn't help but ask nicepool how his y/n was.

"You can’t change the past. You can only learn from it and hope that you don’t repeat the same mistakes."

you were friends with laura for a short while at the age of 11 and when you two met again in the void you both immediately did y'all's handshake out of instinct.

“Life is short! So we should spend it having fun and making memories!”

couldn't really think of more stuff for the third movie that would involve spoiling stuff I have planned so it was cut short.

hope y'all liked it!

"Well everyone loves me" by Rizzy105 on wattpad

[zafirosreverie]

Little furry friend (Bruno x F!Reader) part 2

For @hectic-hector (ily 💕)

Part 1

-----------------

"Julieta!! Do something about your sister!!"

The healer sighed and rolled her eyes fondly before turning to see Pepa effortlessly carrying Bruno into the kitchen. She knew that her brother justified that with the weight loss he had while living in the walls, but the three of them knew that Pepa had always had incredible strength and that she could lift both of them on each arm without breaking a sweat.

"Julieta!! Tell your brother to stop being a crybaby!!"

"I'm not a crybaby!"

"Yes you are!"

"Julieta!!"

"Okay, that's enough" the older one said, trying not to laugh at Bruno's pout when Pepa sat him down in a chair "what's going on?"

"Your sister is a nightmare"

"Your brother is an airhead"

"...okay, something else I don't already know?"

"HEY!!"

Julieta laughed at her siblings’ expressions and rolled her eyes again. Sometimes it was exhausting mediating their fights, but she truly loved them with all of her being and wouldn't have them any other way, no matter how many gray hairs they gave her in a day (definitely more than the six grandchildren combined).

"And you're supposed to be the good triplet?" Pepa crossed her arms with a pout.

"I always said that we should be careful with her, she has a mischievous glint in her eyes" Bruno whispered to the redhead

"So it's against me now?" the older one said, putting her hands on her hips "two seconds ago you were arguing for god knows what"

"oh yeah! You're right"

"Oh no, did you have to remind her?"

Bruno growled when a rainbow invaded the kitchen and Pepa got a little closer to her older sister, taking her by the hand like an excited child. It was always funny how Pepa could change her mood so quickly, especially when she was with her siblings, when she felt safe from being judged. But it wasn't as funny when he was the victim of her plans.

"Let's invite Y/N to dinner!"

"What?"

"We are NOT going to invite her to dinner, Pepa!"

"Why not? You already spend all day with her anyway, Bruno"

"It's different!"

"Why?!"

"Because you are not there to try anything"

"Excuse me?!" the redhead thundered "well sorry but someone has to take the next step if you're not going to do it yourself"

"There is no next step, Pepa, we are just friends!"

Julieta sighed again and pinched the bridge of her nose as her siblings returned to a heated discussion that must have started long before they entered the kitchen. She could understand Bruno's anger or concern, and would usually agree with him that things should happen on their own.

The thing was, this time, she was on Pepa's side. It had been months since you showed up at the house with Bruno's rat in your hand and the whole family had been surprised at how well you got along with him. She had to admit that like her sister, she felt quite betrayed that he hadn't told them about you sooner, but she understood that he had a right to his privacy as well.

And if she was honest with herself, she was relieved at how well you treated her little brother. It wasn't common for townspeople to associate with him of their own free will, even after the candle fiasco, but you didn't seem to have any problem, you were kind to him, you treated him as an equal, and you were even one of the few people he felt comfortable enough about physical contact with.

Of course, the nervous mess he was when you were around him, or the blush that would always come over his face when you smiled at him, or the goofy smile he had all the time when you talked to him, didn't go unnoticed either. Dolores even confirmed that his heart raced every time he saw you or someone said your name. It was obvious to everyone that Bruno Madrigal was completely in love with Y/N Y/L/N, and would be cute, if it wasn't for him refusing to do anything about it.

Her brother was already exhausting the family's patience and even Casita had tried to intervene (which is why Bruno chose to go to your house instead of having you visit them). Julieta was really beginning to consider that they would have to take that step for him.

She snapped out of her thoughts when Pepa's thunder began to get louder. The kitchen began to be filled with black clouds and if she didn’t intervene soon, all her effort would be wasted due to the rain. However, she did not have time to do something when you popped your head through the window, with a small rat on your shoulder.

"Hi Juli!" You said, always smiling "What are you doing?"

Months ago, it would not even have occurred to you to be so open with her, but after the kind reception that the whole family had made, you could not help but feeling comfortable and happy every time you approached Casita.

"These two, always fighting" she returned the smile

"For the last arepa again?"

"No" she laughed, remembering the time Pepa almost threw a knife to Bruno when he took the last arepa, although she quickly calmed down when she saw that he had taken it for you "for something that Pepa wants Bruno to do"

"Ohhhh" you said, with curiosity in your eyes "What thing?"

She was about to answer when Antonio suddenly entered the kitchen. The boy smiled widely as soon as he saw you and ran to greet you. After Bruno, Madrigal's youngest son was the one who more time spent with you.

"Hello Y/N!"

"Hey Buddy!" You answered "Long time no seeing you"

"Yes, you didn't come for three days!" he pouted

"I'm sorry, I had things to do in the carpentry" you apologized

You did not even notice that the black clouds had disappeared, or that the Madrigal triplets were looking at you with curiosity, kindness and nervousness.

"It's okay" Antonio smiled at you "is just that the animals began to ask me where Uncle Bruno's girlfriend was" he shrugged

You felt your cheeks turning red, and you quickly looked where the seer was, a few steps behind his nephew. He did not look better than you, on the contrary, he looked pale and two seconds of fainting, while his sisters smirked and tried to hide their laughs behind their hands, although the rainbow that filled the room betrayed the redhead.

If you were honest, the idea itself was not bad. Actually, you had long accepted your feelings for the younger triplet, even if you didn’t plan to do something about it because you did not think the man returned your feelings. But now, seeing him so red and nervous, you committed to question it.

"S-she’s not my g-girlfriend" Bruno stuttered, resisting the impulse to hide with the hood of his Ruana

"She's not?" Antonio asked innocently

"No, I'm not" you replied

For a moment that seemed frozen in time, you could feel the eyes of the three adults on you, Pepa seemed disappointed, Julieta contained her breath and Bruno looked really defeated. That was what made you take a risk.

"Toñito, your uncle and I share Sebastián, remember?" you said gently

"Yeah?"

"That means we have a child together" you smiled with malice when you heard the triplets gasps "I am not his girlfriend, I am his wife"

"W-what?!"

Pepa and Julieta laughed at their brother's complete shock, and you couldn't help noticing how adorable it was. But then, as if he was a statue, he fell backwards, harshly hitting against the ground.

".... ooops" you said.

[menlove]

the other thing too is that losing weight is NOT a neutral action in the same way that being fat is.

what do I mean by that?

well, it is morally neutral in that no one should be judging you for wanting to lose weight & wanting to lose weight does not make you a bad person

however. it's not a neutral action. in the same way that feminists critique the beauty industry and makeup and constantly get replies like "but I LIKE wearing makeup!!!!" that completely miss the point. that's sort of the same thing happening when fat activists/people that advocate for fat liberation point out the flaws in diet culture and get "but I NEED to lose weight for (xyz "good" reasons) are you saying I'm a bad person?" that completely miss the point.

in an ideal world, people could lose and gain weight without a single bat of an eye. but we don't live in that world. not only is it scientifically proven that most people CANNOT sustainably keep weight they've lost off (and no, not due to lack of self control) and that losing weight (especially rapidly) can have some huge health consequences, but, more relevantly, these ideas of weight and health and beauty are SO tangled up in fatphobia and western beauty standards that it's nigh impossible to reach some Enlightened State where your reason for weight loss is untouched by it.

you want to lose weight to "be healthier?" who told you you were unhealthy? was it your doctor? doctors that routinely suggest fat patients lose weight for every complaint ever including the common cold or a broken bone? was it society telling you being fat is unhealthy even though you ARE healthy? and if you're Not healthy, do you know for sure it's your weight? because thin people can also have high cholesterol and heart problems. there's other ways to fix these things that don't involve weight loss to dangerous degrees, but doctors are already so up their own ass about fat people that they probably didn't discuss anything with you other than "lose weight." does that mean no fat person ever is unhealthy because they're fat? no. but it Does mean that that reason is so tangled up in fatphobia that 100% stating you're free of diet culture when you say it just is Not accurate

you want to lose weight to "feel better about yourself"? well this one's easy and won't be as long as the last. why do you feel that way? who taught you that being fat is something to feel bad about? if you lived 500 years ago before diet culture, would you feel pressure to lose weight to feel better about yourself?

and none of this is to say you CAN'T chose to lose weight. it's your body. you can do whatever the fuck you want with it, good or bad. but when people talk about fatphobia and fat liberation and your first response is "oh but I'm losing weight for the GOOD reasons" stop yourself. ask if that's relevant to the conversation. ask yourself if those reasons ARE neutral. if they're tied to health, body image (including dysphoria!), or how other people perceive you? the answer is no

[brian-in-finance]

Orlando Bloom /The Cut

Orlando Bloom And Sean Ellis Talk About Star’s Transformation Into Past-His-Prime Boxer In ‘The Cut’: “He Was Willing To Have His Nose Broken” – Toronto Film Festival

Sean Ellis’s sixth feature, following the deliriously atmospheric 19th-century vampire movie Eight for Silver (2021), is yet another curveball from the criminally underrated British director. Titled The Cut, it is the story of a past-his-prime boxer who goes behind his wife Caitlin’s back to accept a lucrative comeback fight in Las Vegas. But this is not yet another Rocky-style underdog story, the kind that culminates in the ring. Instead, it is a sometimes-shocking psychological thriller, a sort of boxing procedural that details the extreme lengths that cornered fighters will go to. On paper, it sounds like Southpaw, but in reality, it has a little more in common with this year’s Cannes hit The Substance, a visceral body-horror movie about a fading starlet (Demi Moore) and her desperate drive to maintain her fame.

Sean Ellis / Getty Images

In The Cut it is actor Orlando Bloom’s turn to defy expectations. As the boxer, the former Pirates of the Caribbean and Lord of the Rings star is a revelation. He’s not entirely unrecognizable as the matinee idol of the 2000s, but, thanks to the magic of prosthetics, he certainly looks like he’s been through the wringer, and his return to professional boxing is not a sure thing. In fact, the most suspense in the film is generated by the initial weigh-in, which will determine whether he even gets to fight in his own title category at all. Caitlin (Caitríona Balfe), his wife and his trainer, can only get him so far, and when the team gets to Vegas, the boxer meets the charismatic Boz (John Turturro). Boz hooks into the boxer’s insecurities, drawing him into an increasingly dangerous training and weight-loss routine.

With the film about to make its world premiere at the Toronto Film Festival, Deadline sat down with Ellis and Bloom to discuss the film and its themes.

DEADLINE: Where did the project start? Who was attached first?

ORLANDO BLOOM: I’d worked with our producer, Mark Lane, some years ago on a movie for Tea Shop Productions. We did a movie together in London called Retaliation, but it was released as The Romans. It was another small, British independent movie production. It was brutal, and I loved the brutality of it. One day Mark said, “I’ve got another one for you,” and he pitched me The Cut. We talked about it, and I loved it immediately. I loved the idea — the premise of a boxing movie without the boxing, where the focus of the fight wasn’t the boxing match itself but rather the fight within the character, who just happened to be a boxer. I thought that was really fascinating, an interesting commentary on the way masculinity operates within that space.

We worked on the script for about a year or two with [screenwriter] Justin Bull, who was fantastic. And then we were just over the moon when Sean read it and responded to it exactly as you’d hope a director with his kind of vision would. He said, “Yeah, I see this.” [To Sean.] Right, Sean? That’s the long and short of it, isn’t it?

SEAN ELLIS: Yeah, that was pretty much it. The first time I read it, actually, was over the Christmas period [in 2022]. Mark had sent it to me, and I was interested because I’d been looking to do a boxing movie. But how do you do a boxing movie? I mean, it’s become almost a genre in itself. They’ve become so clichéd. Like submarine movies: You’ve got to have a scene with one person trapping themself in the air lock and drowning, as they tap away at the little porthole.

With boxing, you’ve got to have an impossible match that they’re not going to win, and then they either do or they don’t. And I thought The Cut was just a really interesting take on that. It was the about the preparation that an athlete goes through, and the drama of that. I thought that was so much more interesting than anything we’ve already seen in a boxing movie. I called Mark back, and I said, “It’s great.” I mean, it grabs you and it doesn’t let go. And it really delivers. It doesn’t let you down, and it really takes you right through to the end. And as OB was saying, it’s pretty brutal.

BLOOM: It’s an assault on the senses — which was kind of what it was like for me, physically.

ELLIS: Yeah. But I love cinema like that. I love it when it grabs you and shakes you. I think that’s what cinema should do.

DEADLINE: Orlando, how much did you weigh when you started the process?

BLOOM: I was about 185 pounds. [Laughs.] Sorry to use pounds and not stone!

DEADLINE: Same as the character?

BLOOM: Give or take.

DEADLINE: How did you lose the weight?

BLOOM: We worked with a great nutritionist called Philip Goglia. He started me on a program about three months prior to filming, and I tiered down from there. I was eating more food than I’d expected, in order to maintain the muscle but drop the weight. There was a sort of science to how much and how often I was eating, like having a spoonful of honey at night, things like that, to hold the muscle but lose the fat. This was three months prior to filming, so when I landed in London to start — which was about three and a half weeks before filming started — I would say I weighed about 170 pounds. I’d dropped quite a lot of weight before I came to the UK, and then in that three-week period I was basically eating five tiny meals a day. A lot of it was tuna and cucumber, and nothing else. I dropped to 152 pounds for the weigh-in scene. We shot that at the beginning of the movie, and then we shot the whole movie backwards.

DEADLINE: Why was that?

BLOOM: Philip, the nutritionist was like, “He’s not going to have any brain function or energy to make the movie.” [Laughs.] He said, “You’ve got to start with the weight loss and then feed him through the movie.” So, we shot the movie in reverse. I remember, I had this massive drop [in weight], because I was sitting at about 163 pounds for what felt like forever. And the training regime was a lot. It was two hours of cardio every day, an hour in the morning and again at night, and then boxing, and then weights, and a very limited amount of food.

I’d already started training — I’d been doing boxing training in America before I came over — and then I dropped 10 pounds of water weight in one night, which was crazy. Philip had told me about this routine that boxers do — they have a hot Epsom-salt bath. I don’t know whether it’s down to osmosis or just some weird body science, but it worked. I had a photo of myself, and I sent it to my partner and my mates, who were tracking me through this wild experience. I sent it to Sean. And then I sat in this space of that weight for about two and a half weeks before we started filming. [Pause] Is that right, Sean? I have to say, my brain is very scrambled…

ELLIS: Yeah, he came to us at his lightest weight because you can’t lose weight and work. It’s almost impossible — you can’t remember your lines or anything else. So, Phil said, “He has to come to you at his lightest, and then you need to allow him to start eating again. But that means you have to shoot the movie in reverse chronological order.” Now, chronological order is a nightmare at the best of times. But reverse chronological order is a total Rubik’s cube. We only had 25 shooting days, and, obviously, Orlando was putting weight on as we were reaching the end of the shoot, which was actually the beginning of the film. But when you edit it in reverse, he starts off heavy and then goes to his lightest point. It was a big jigsaw puzzle, but we got there.

DEADLINE: How did you feel about him losing all that weight? Did you ever feel guilty?

ELLIS: Mark Lane said, “Look, he’s really committed to this. Have a call with him and see if you guys jell,” and I did, instantly. But more than that, what I saw in OB was a huge commitment to make this right. And he was willing to do anything. I think at one point we even spoke about him going to the dentist and having his teeth filed and recapped. There was also the idea that he was willing to have his nose broken. [Laughs.] I was like, “I’m not sure we have to go that far.” But Orlando’s a good-looking bloke, and we were thinking, “How do we convince the world that he’s a professional boxer and make him look like a professional boxer?”

[British makeup artist] Mark Coulier came in and did a lot of work on his face. Mark got an Oscar nomination for Elvis. I’ve worked with him on a couple of movies and he’s just amazing. He took a head-sculpt of Orlando and then showed us what he would be able to do with him. A broken nose; fake ears that were more like cauliflower ears from the fighting; a change of the jawline — there were these “plumpers” that went into his mouth — and the teeth. The eyes as well: Mark gave him a droopy boxer’s eyelid.

I remember when I saw him sitting in the makeup chair. He had the haircut and everything, and I thought, “I buy this guy as a professional fighter.” At that point, he didn’t actually look like Orlando, strangely enough. In fact, I remember when we were shooting, there were two girls in the hotel we were using — just were members of the public — and they were waiting for the elevator to go down. Orlando was down the other end of the corridor, in his pants, and one of them nudged the other one. She whispered, “That’s Orlando Bloom.” The other one looked up and said, “Nah,” and then they got in the lift. I was laughing, because they didn’t recognize him.

DEADLINE: Were you surprised by his dedication?

ELLIS: Even from that first call with him, it was obvious that he was just so committed to this film and was willing to immerse himself. We were referencing [Irish featherweight and lightweight champion] Conor McGregor for a while, to the point where we started talking about the character being Irish, and we loved that idea. Then we cast Caitríona [Balfe], who’s Irish as well, and it made even more sense. It felt like the journey from Ireland to Vegas was bigger, because in the original script he was American, I think. Those changes came about from just me and Orlando talking about the character. I love his accent in it. Honestly, he’s not giving us an Orlando that we’ve seen before, and I love that. I love the change.

DEADLINE: Why did you want Caitríona?

ELLIS: I’d seen her in a couple of movies, Belfast and Ford v Ferrari, and her TV show Outlander. And at the point when we were having these discussions about Orlando playing Irish, I was like, “Well, let’s find an Irish actress.” So, I spoke to Jamie Dornan about Caitríona, because he’d worked with her on Belfast, and I said, “What’s she like? Is she nice? I love her movies. Is she good to work with?” And he was like, “Oh, she’s the best.” So, I got that endorsement, we offered it to her, and, luckily, she said yes. [To Bloom] It was just the three of us a lot of the time, wasn’t it?

DEADLINE: How did her casting affect the script?

ELLIS: A lot of her character was really born out of a lot of the discussions that the three of us had about the relationship that the two characters had. How their past dictated their relationship, and how it was going to dictate their future. So, it was really lovely just to work with both Orlando and Caitríona on finding those characters and really giving them life without really having to spell it out. Boz has more of a visual background, because you see him in flashbacks, but what I love about Caitríona’s character is that there’s a lot of subtext in her performance. It’s not overwritten, but you still get a sense of her life and what’s happened to her in the past.

BLOOM: I remember a conversation I had with her when we first spoke. I called her up. In the early drafts, the script was really centered on this transformation that the boxer goes through, the inner torment and the fight. And I said to Caitríona, “Look at the script as a blueprint, because there’s so much more between the lines than there is in the lines.” I really wanted the authenticity of this relationship to play. Because I think he can’t live without her. He can’t function, he can’t operate without her.

DEADLINE: In the middle of these two you have John Turturro as his trainer, Boz. It’s a very interesting part, almost like a kind of sadistic Jiminy Cricket…

ELLIS: We had many conversations about the script before John actually came on board, but I think John wanted to reassure himself that he was right about how he was going to do it. Because when John turned up — am I right, OB? — he’d fully formed that character. You said, “Action,” and John just did it. There was no, “What do you think?” He’d decided how Boz was going to be.

BLOOM: Can I jump in, Sean? What was on the page for that character was completely different to what John brought to the film. I remember sitting next to him in the makeup chair, and I was in and out of consciousness, in terms of how I felt emotionally. I was paranoid as hell. It was a really weird time, because of my mental state: I wasn’t having any food. Or sleep. I wasn’t sleeping because you don’t sleep when you’re not eating — you keep waking up.

And then he said to me, “It’s love.” And I was like, “What?” He said, “It’s a love story.” And my mind exploded. Sean was like, “Yeah, of course it’s a love story.” But his part wasn’t really written like that. He was written as a pretty straightforward character, like a drill sergeant, very aggressive. And then when he told me that, it became this love triangle in my mind. Boz was seducing me, in a way, into his web. Like, “You’re my guy now.”

Obviously, I’ve been huge fan of the man and the actor for years, and everything he’s ever done. That part could have been so generic in the hands of anyone else, but he just knew what to do. He was sprinkling magic dust all around us. I think we had that conversation on the second day of filming because we were all a bit thrown to begin with. Do you remember that, Sean? I was, certainly. I was like, “Wait, what’s going on?”

ELLIS: I remember Mark coming up to me and saying, “So, is that how we want Boz to be?” Because Boz was very much on the page as a character like the drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket. I remember saying to him, “That’s John Turturro, and he’s giving you Boz. It might not be the Boz you saw on the page, but it is a Boz, and he’s absolutely made it his own.” As OB said, he’s sinister, he’s conniving, and he’s also kind of a groomer, because he understands his victim and he knows how to take control. So, he really pulled himself into this in a very insidious way, which I find very creepy and just brilliantly executed.

BLOOM: Yeah, he totally transformed what the movie could have been.

DEADLINE: You’ve got the Toronto premiere coming up. What kind of reactions are you hoping for?

ELLIS: Well, I hope they don’t throw eggs at the screen. [Laughs.] Listen, I’m incredibly proud of the film and I’m incredibly proud of the performances that the actors have given. It was just such a privilege to record them, and be present, and see them craft those characters. That’s the thing I’m most proud of when I look at it. I think it’s very strong, and it’s a drama with very strong characters.

DEADLINE: Orlando?

BLOOM: Yeah, it’s funny, when I was at drama school, I remember working on The Seagull, the Chekhov play, and there’s a moment at the end where the audience goes silent, because it’s just so uncomfortable. And I think this movie has a similar impact. It’s such an assault on the senses. And, to his credit, Sean never takes his foot off the gas. You can’t hide at any point in this movie. It’s like we strap you into a rocket, and you’re off. And there’s a lot of commentary on the way athletes — male athletes in particular — operate. Obviously we haven’t taken this from a true story, it’s fictitious. But I think it deals with very real ideas about self-worth. It’s about what people will do to fill the void that’s in their stomach, or in their soul. It’s about the lengths they will go to.

Deadline

Remember… (about Caitlin, Caitríona’s character) I really wanted the authenticity of this relationship to play. Because I think he can’t live without her. He can’t function, he can’t operate without her. — Sean Ellis

[youremyheaven]

Lana Del Rey: Kibbe Analysis

My one big issue with discussions of Kibbe IDs is how we seldom consider how these manifest in regular people with regular bodies. Every Kibbe ID has a certain "look" associated with them. SDs are presumed to be voluptuous, like the human incarnation of a fertility goddess, therefore people who are underweight/thin are automatically classified as something other than SD. verified FNs tend to be very thin and athletic so someone who is heavier is presumed to not be an FN. Most verified TRs are dead white women who were very very small so someone who is of average height with a more average build is perceived to be anything other than TR.

Since SN is the most common type, every woman with an average build is typed as one. This is especially true of those who have a heavier build, because weight gain, especially if its due to medication/health issues/binge eating etc can make anybody regardless of type, look "broad and bulky".

Lana has been in the limelight for over a decade at this point and her body has been under great scrutiny. She's a normal person whose weight fluctuates. Its important to understand that. Your Kibbe ID does not change with weight gain/loss. Kibbe is about image identity, that's not something that can be altered with plastic surgery or weight loss/gain; its who you are.

With that said, I believe Lana is a Flamboyant Natural.

Lana has a naturally straight-ish frame with little waist definition. At a lower weight her body is more narrow.

Her hips and her bust do not break the line of her body, which is to say they are not very prominent through the clothes she wears.

(im sorry Lana's head is cropped but I promise its Lana!!)

Compare Lana's chest to Selena's on the right. With weight gain, both of them have bigger chests but Selena (verified TR) has a chest that's naturally curved and prominent whereas Lana's chest is more broad and wide and not as pronounced.

Its evident in these pictures how her body does not look "curvy", her bust and her hips are not prominent or pronounced, she has a "straight" frame. She is a Natural type. According to celebheights.com (this is the most accurate source for celebrity heights as celebs usually exaggerate their heights) Lana is 167cms or 5'6 but seems taller, she is not rounded or blunt and has obvious vertical. This is why she is Flamboyant Natural and not Soft Natural.

These are all outfits that highlight her Romantic/Dramatic/Ethereal essence.

All these light flowy fabrics look soooo good on her and her Kibbe ID & essences all seem to harmonize well.

Naturals have the frame to carry light flowy fabrics without looking shapeless or like they're carrying a sack. Its giving ✨goddess ✨

Soft, light weight fabrics like silk, satin and kind of loose, unstructured dresses work very well for Natural types.

These aren't very flattering looks on Lana because they emphasize width and dont accomodate her vertical. When she's in outfits that suit her ID & essence, she shines so much<333

[pinkumiilku]

Sanji’s Eating Disorder Analysis (Long Post).

I’ve tried posting about this before, but it felt a bit rushed and not nearly detailed enough, so I’m trying again, wording it differently this time.

Trigger Warning here for anyone not comfortable with discussions involving eating disorders.

Sanji is an incredibly well written character, and this we know. You can find multiple character analysis posts I’ve written about him before, ranging from his demeanor as an adult, to childhood trauma, to even very present buddhist metaphors.

One of the reasons I’m desperate to figure out just how much effort and time Oda put into this character, is because Sanji very clearly represents a specific set of people (or children) who have suffered at the hands of abuse. Thus, creating a self sacrificial and self deprecating personality, while still trying to be kind and compassionate. Sadly, this compassion is directed towards anyone but himself. Obviously there is so much more to say, but that’s the core gist of things when it comes to the StrawHats’ chef.

Specifically when it comes to food however, Oda surprised us yet again, with what I believe to be a very clear depiction of eating disorders, or rather, the mindset behind one. I’m confident writing about this since I’ve been battling against one myself, and Oda seems to have somewhat confirmed his character’s dissent into an eating disorder in an alternate, negative, timeline. Although I would think his to be focused on food restriction, Oda depicted Sanji as having a binging pattern instead. This changes things slightly, but I believe the core message remains the same.

Now, in order to understand Sanji’s actions, we first need to understand the core basics of what could cause an ED in the first place. It’s very common for patients to suffer from forms of depression and post traumatic stress disorder, leading to a gradual loss of motivation and will to even perform basic tasks such as survival. What ends up happening in most cases, is that an ED pattern will create itself, gradually becoming more drastic, until the patient develops an addiction, satisfies a deep seated need for control, and is oftentimes begging for help. Again, these are just core basics to start and dissect Sanji’s story, behaviors and personality bit by bit.

This leads me to analyze Sanji’s adult design first. While Oda’s art style has changed many times, and characters look nothing like their original selves, we had a very clear Lupin lookalike, with a stick thin figure, making hands and feet seem somewhat disproportionate. This silhouette alone was enough to tell us something important. This was a character that, compared to others, was clearly at some sort of disadvantage. Especially working as a chef, in a restaurant where all other staff members seem to be at a healthy weight, Sanji sticks out like a sore thumb. Even amongst his own crew, he (used to be) the most frail looking male character. This may just be how Oda happened to design him, but considering how meticulous he used to be over details on his characters, I believe this to have been intentional. If character design in general is meant to tell us a story, Sanji’s was immediately not one of physical strength.

And, indeed, it doesn’t take long for One Piece to confirm Sanji’s past being one of misfortune, starvation, and illness. The fact that starvation will be a reoccurring theme in Sanji’s story alone was enough to convince me of a potential underlining ED discussion. As a child, after being saved by the only kind man in his life, they will both be stranded on a rock in the middle of the ocean, with no food for 85 days (about 3 months). At this point, Sanji will reminisce on how he’d disregarded food’s importance in the past, bursting into tears. Similarly, when it comes to behaviors driven by an ED, there is a constant level of shame patients go through, over, again, “disregarding” nutrition, without realizing they are being driven by their illness. This would lead Sanji to feed any starving person he’d ever come across, no matter their actions, history or background. However, along with that, come some “odd” behaviors on his behalf involving food. Starting from an extremely early addiction to nicotine to “scuttle the sense of taste” (very specific wording there, Oda), leading us to notice how in One Piece, at least pre time skip, scenes of common living on the ship were very common and endearing. Amongst these scenes would be plenty of meals, and within said meals, plenty of panels of characters eating. However, finding specific instances of Sanji eating becomes significantly more challenging. While they are there (I’m referring to the manga), they are almost always exclusively related to some sort of plot device. Essentially, Sanji is never (or rarely) shown eating for the sake of eating. This was in my opinion absolutely not accidental on Oda’s behalf.

Sanji finds comfort in his duty as primary caregiver of the ship, at least when it comes to nutrition. This allows him time alone (as he was portrayed as introverted and soft spoken at first), and gives him the freedom to eat at will without any external input on the matter. In other words, this allows for control.

I believe his first interaction with Gin, a starving man too stubborn to ask for help, to be very striking.

“I know starvation better than anyone. While I understand if you want to die with dignity, you wouldn’t be able to see tomorrow if you don’t eat.” Reminiscing over the ocean’s cruelty, and above all, understanding the pride that comes with said starvation, leads us to think there has been a definite and untold struggle.

Lastly, since this post is becoming seriously too long, in Whole Cake Island, we’re finally introduced to Sanji’s proper history, where he is confirmed to be an exiled prince from a cruel and sadistic monarchy. Particularly, we are shown how expectations led to horrific instances of abuse, focusing on how his interest in cooking would be mocked, and banned. This way, Sanji’s self sacrificial and self loathing personality in the present, while not explicit, becomes very, very clear and easy to understand. Obviously, we could talk about the various types of trauma Sanji suffers from in the present day, but for the sake of this post’s theme, I will focus only on some. After being locked underground, in an iron mask, he had to accept an unacceptable reality for any child. He could never make up for the fact he was born. He could never be good enough. He could never obtain love. Or so he thought. This makes it easier to see how Sanji needed a form of control to keep himself sane, especially one which gave him some sort of validation on his mother’s behalf, when she praised his cooking.

Once he will be dragged back to his abusive family as an adult, deciding to abandon his crew to protect them, Luffy will go on a hunger strike until he gets his chef back. The StrawHat captain is extremely emotionally intelligent, beyond being physically strong, and he will show Sanji exactly what he went through, and is going through, on his own skin, as if to have Sanji look in the mirror, and perhaps truly see how cruel and heartless he’d been towards himself. How crucial health is, and how loved he is by his found family.

Oda clearly used food and nutrition as forms of love in his story. And in the case of Sanji, he needed a physical manifestation of his hurt, addiction and control. In other words, he used food as a way to control, manipulate and handle love, or a lack thereof his entire life, the exact same way ED patients do.

That being said, Oda, as always, represented and talked about a community and a type of suffering that are not often talked about, and he did it remarkably well.

And with that, may you all be well and safe. Recovery is always possible, just as it was for this character.

[lostsoulaltair]

Owari no Seraph Chapter 133 - Analysis & Review

Hello everyone, it's been a goddamn while; I've been busy with things, also learning constantly a new language; thus, given that I did like the latest chapter, I wanted to talk or discuss about it; as always, feel free to discuss, disagree, or share your thoughts; though of course, the only thing I request is respect.

Thus let's proceed

A destroyed world a talk about the "meaning of life" & "what it means to live". At the end, we're young.

The chapter might joke a lot between the girl's conversation which it might feel unnecesary or perhaps not worth it but given how the two characters were build; Shinoa is the type of character that does know when there's certain tension when someone is concerned about her.

But let's focus on something more important; the chapter begins with Mitsuba finally finding Shinoa who has been far away from her squad after Guren, Mahiru, Krul and company left to most likely the place where Yuu is.

Mitsuba after for so long finally made an appearance which is something I'm glad for; and as a good friend, she shows her concern given that she's never seen Shinoa act out of her usual demanor.

Something that I do find adorable is the very fact that Mitsuba is trying to be supportive given that there is a weight being carried on Shinoa's shoulders; while it's true Shinoa has never spoken about what she endured as a child; Mitsuba does want to understand her friend and no matter what might happen, they're there for her.

Thus leading to the next panel; Shinoa has always seen herself as a character with no value or rather, that thanks to her existance, the lives of innocents were screwed given that she was compatible with the monster that made sure the world ended in the way it is.

But once again, Mitsuba does convey the message of how Yoichi, Kimizuki and her feel towards her given that there's absolutely no one to reasure her that her life is as valuable as others.

And of course, we got the author with its weird interest on female bodies but; jokes aside from such panel; there's an aspect of truth to it. They are teenagers, they're no longer kids; they're characters that were forced to grow up at a very young age, forced to change to endure all the struggles of their surroundings to the point they had to mimic adults in a sense.

Many might find it pointless, boring, and perhaps even unrelated but the very fact that they touched the emotions of Shinoa does lead to a heavier topic.

Such topic is reflected in the next panel:

While it's true that Yuu has constantly talked about "a reason to live", "family", "friends", etc. Yuu does not know the weight of those words; he says he's going to save everyone, but in order to save somoene, there are consequences, losses and the sort in such path; nothing can be obtained for free in life and that's something that perhaps he might face eventually.

Returning with the squad, Mitsuba at first dismisses such question about the "meaning of life".

There is a huge relevance to the question; and this of course, reflects to the very first issue; that they've been working on how to save their lives that they haven't ever thought about themselves.

While it is very common to see that whenever someone says "that person thinks about themselves" it can come in a negative connotation; but that's not entirely the case; there's a difference between being selfish and understanding one's self.

When it comes to being selfish, it does relate about not caring a bit about what your actions may eventually do to others, how much harm you may cause due to them, willingly or not; it is literally dismissing a reason to as to why there may be something halting something one may want.

But, when it comes to understanding one's self; it is not only a superfitial level of understanding; it is knowing what one person may want, may long, may fight for, what may make them sad, what may anger them, etc.

In this case, Mitsuba realized that she has never given a deep thought to what she, as Mitsuba Sanguu truthfully wants. She grew up to be a soldier, to battle every time in order to protect those who couldn't protect themselves but with the development of the squad, it was not just a journey of sticking together, it was a journey of finding out that love can develop after getting to meet someone.

Eventually, Mitsuba does understand that it's not the typical joke mood or non serious conversation but rather a very important one.

In the next panel, Mitsuba's first longing or desire was to be acknowledged or to be validated. To be recognized; which of course, Shinoa mentions that she does understand that and it is true; Shinoa as a child did want validation from everyone or rather, instead of the term "validation", what it is more proper is "recognition or acknowledgement of existance".

True, in the current chapter Shinoa mentions she was luckier given that they never bothered with her; there's a difference between Mitsuba and Shinoa, which was showing what they could do in order to seek that. Mitsuba tried her best to show that she too held talent; alas with Shinoa, she simply ditched the idea, there was no reason to even fight about it.

But thanks to the very fact that she remembered what Mahiru did even if I too, agree that it was a really harsh method; she did know that at least someone cared about her existance.

Mitsu states that Shinoa was loved in contrast to her that no one loved her; which makes Shinoa to reasure her that she does love Mitsuba. And of course, while it's true that the original source uses the kanji Ai (愛) it does not carry a romantic context (Yes I've been studying if you wonder and there's still a longer way ahead).

Shinoa is reasuring Mitsuba that she too is loved; just like how Mitsuba expressed on her best way that Yoichi, Kimizuki and her cared about Shinoa's safety; Shinoa too knows that the squad itself cares about each other; after all, they're a small family that can only encourage each other to keep going.

But here comes something important that perhaps it might be to personal interpretation but Shinoa does state something important:

Because love exists for someone, it does not mean that's the sole reason to the meaning of life or for a reason to live.

What does that mean?

Us as humans, be in the different envioroments we end up growing, we end up finding purposes for our existance, sometimes it takes longer, other times we have certainty that we found out what we want to do with our lives; along such trail, we will find friends, perhaps a person we might fall in love; we might suffer about a heartbreak or two or so on; but despite that, it's a path we've chosen to walk because very independent of the bonds we forge along the way; there are things we want to do out there, we long for new experiences, new insights, new spots to visit, and of course, we can never suspend the time; we grow up, we mature, we gain interest in other things as we grow which is visible how from childhood, we change a lot when we become teenagers, so as adults too, we change.

In Shinoa's case, she is truthful that she does not find value to her life, given how many chains of events involving her lead to misfortune for others; but despite that, she is thankful that there are people out there that do love her despite the harm her existance may has brought up upon Earth.

Nevertheless, we get a follow up, once Shinoa expressed herself, Mitsuba asks her directly about Yuu's acknowledgement, recognition or validation. Which of course, she responds honestly to it.

It hurts; and it is natural that it hurts her; it's the first time she fell in love with someone but not in the same way Mahiru did, not in the same turn of events Mahiru went through; after all, it's something I'll discuss a bit further from here. Let's continue.

Shinoa eases the mood by asking Mitsuba about how she feels towards Yuu which of course she knows very well that she too has a crush on him. But despite that many might feel the conversation as pointless, there's something certain to the panel itself; it is letting the weight and torment of many mixed emotions go, finally opening up to someone who understands you, to have someone you can trust unconditionally.

The mood eventually soothes to the point the two of them are in peace; having talked about such things when they've never had the opportunity to act like teenage girls, it was a rather refreshing experience for them.

I can't say that's correct or not but even in movies that face the end of the world, characters tend to talk about things they long to do and the sort.

Once Mitsuba asks Shinoa about her first real reason to live; one could understand that it is left to free interpretation given that both girls are simply enjoying their youth; they still haven't found a very truthful reason as to why they're there but for now; they did understand something.

Life is not just about existance, it's more than just hoping validation or acknowledgment, it is akin to what exactly you want to experience, it is about what you want to do instead of what others want you to do.

This leads to the new path I've mentioned before and this shall be discussed in the next point

Moving onwards to a new goal

After a girl's talk; Mitsuba points out about Shinoa's talent that is way above Mahiru's; such talent has always been hinted since the LNs were created.

Shinoa mentions that given that at that time she lacked a motive along goals within her reach; and of course, even Shikama pointed it out that she lacked desires, there was not so much she could do despite being more powerful than Mahiru, nevertheless, Mitsuba is aware Shinoa has gained something she lacked from the very beginning. Confidence.

This leads for Shinoa to have a discussion with her squad, but of course, they were eavesdropping the girls; they gave them their privacy. While they too are clumsy, reckless, immature in general, they too understand that people need some time alone to recollect their thoughts; they understand that there are things that sometimes can only be discussed with a certain someone not because of a lack of interest but rather because there is something that can be conveyed way better.

But very independent of that, it just reflects that Yoichi and Kimizuki have been worried as well about the girls after Yuu's departure along Guren and Vampires.

The next scene is actually something I am rather thankful that I actually thought I'd never see in the story in general; and that is the very fact that they're taking independent action for once; they're no longer following Guren's orders, they're no longer following a vampire's guidance that ends up falling in Guren's hand or Shikama's; nor they are following Yuu's wishes but rather; they're trying to open up a new path but exclusively for what they do label as "family".

Within the squad members, Kimizuki, Yoichi and Mitsuba long to see their families back due to the unfair deaths they had; Shinoa despite not having someone to call family or rather simply accepting the course of nature; she does want to see her friends having their families back, she has seen them struggle, she has seen the desperation of Kimizuki, the longing of Yoichi to have a miracle granted. But instead of following someone else's agenda given that Guren and Mahiru do have knowledge that they simply won't share to the squad; it is the first step for them to walk and open a new path for them.

Shinoa is very aware that their knowledge is limited, along the fact that they're not on an equal ground in terms of power; but given that now she does have confidence and something else; as I mentioned briefly in the other point; Shinoa has a deep understanding that the actions her sister took, do not defind her present or future nor how she will eventually turn out; such outcomes are only decided by her alone and if she wants to create a path along her friends, she has to fight for it giving away for the first time, the real power she has within her.

The very fact that Kiseki-O and Gekkouin were manifested by force instead by their wielders says something about what Shikama sought with Shinoa, what could it be?

Correct. Shikama or Sika Madu, was once an angel that served God but due to his arrogance, he lost his path leading to his eternal punishment for it; but even still, even if the angels that fell with him deemed or viewed him as a God. There was something even the reincarnations of such Fallen Angels were never subjected to.

Absolute control.

And thanks to reading the RAW version of the catastrophe at 16 manga; the purpose of Mahiru and Shinoa at the beginning was to control the punishment the Seraph of the End experiment held. But in contrast to Mahiru; Shinoa was born capable to control demons, she was capable of seeing them from a very young age but given that she has motivation along an objective; that power finally has shined. Leading to a new battle:

Perhaps you, dear readers may wonder how Shinoa was able to connect with Shikama despite him sending her off or cutting their ties; and of course, she does mention there was a small connection; truth to be told; even if Shikama wanted, she was born with him; they were together ever since she came to existance, hence that even if he tried to severe his ties to her, there will be something chaining him down.

And of course, the battle between Shinoa and Shikama has begun

Shikama gave away his power for light BUT, given that Shinoa could devour such darkness; it can only lead this

All the power that came from God's light may be stored in Shinoa's body and as they say, even if darkness tries to consume light; light always finds a way to cast aside the shadows that darkness creates.

Quite long huh? What do you think?

Let me know!!

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Deconstructing Dieter Bravo: Part 2

If you haven't read chapter 25 of Destiny & Deliverance, do so before continuing with this post to avoid spoilers. 😉

Now that the story is starting to dive into what is going on with our dear Dieter, I felt it was time for Part 2 of the Deconstructing Dieter Bravo series to discuss the topic of psychiatric medication.

Just to be clear, this is not a post for or against the use of such medications. I want to put that out there before we get started. It is also a very high-level overview.

Most individuals that do not have experience with mental health struggles (weather that be personally or via someone close to them) do not realize the affects that psychiatric medications can have on the patient and further complications that they can cause during treatment, which is why I feel it is important to share some of this information.

While psychiatric medications are meant to help manage symptoms, they can also make things a hell of a lot worse. In many cases, the first medication isn't the correct medication or the correct dosage. There is a lot of trial and error involved in the process because everyone's body chemistry is different. Which means the patient is often left dealing with side effects that can range from minor to severe. Figuring out the correct medication and dosage for an individual can be a long and unpleasant process, which is why many give up on the use of medication all together.

There are six main categories of mental health medication: antidepressants, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, depressants, anxiolytics, and stimulants. Each category is used to treat different types of disorders. Each come with their own set of side effects, but the most common are headaches, weight gain, dizziness, dry mouth, muscle spasms and cramps, nausea, loss of sex drive, constipation, sleepiness or problems with sleep, loss of appetite, and fast heart rate.

More serious and less common side effects are always a possibility too. Especially if patients are taking certain medications after being misdiagnosed (more about that in a later post). More serious side effects include nightmares, blurred vision, depression and/or paranoia, aggressive behavior, agitation, anxiety, personality changes, concentration problems, mania, suicidal ideation, and memory damage.

To complicate things further, psychiatric medications easily interact with other substances such as headache mediations, vitamins, and herbal supplements. It is important that the patient is aware of that possibility and ensures that their doctor is aware of all consumption habits. This includes ingredients in meals and drinks. It is also highly recommended not to mix alcohol with the majority of psychiatric medications.

Given all the possible side effects it is important that patients and their families/caregivers communicate to their doctor any changes they are experiencing with their bodies, feelings, and thoughts no matter how minor to avoid any further complications that could eventually result from continued medication use. Some medications take effect immediately while others can take up to two weeks or longer. Antipsychotics can take between six weeks to three months to get into your system and become effective. Therefore, obvious side effects could be delayed which is why it is important to continue to make note of any changes.

There are many long-term effects of using these types of medications such as organ damage and disorders like tardive dyskinesia (involuntary movements of various body parts). Therefore, it is very important that the patient regularly check in with their doctor and have regular blood work done to check on things.

It's important that patients find a doctor that they trust and that truly listens to their concerns so that no minor detail is overlooked. It is also important that patients and their family/caregivers are proactive in their own care, ensuring proper follow-up and tests are performed. Otherwise, important factors could be overlooked and lead to complications down the road.

Given this brief overview of information, it is safe to say that Dieter is experiencing both the common and more severe side effects from the medication he has been taking. There have been hints throughout the entire fic that his meltdown was slowly building, though it wasn't completely obvious. Which is the hard part about these types of things. It's often not an issue until it's bad.

There are some behaviors that could be a direct result of Dieter's diagnosis, while other behaviors could have been and were most likely exacerbated by incorrect medicating. That is just something to keep in mind as we work our way through the story.

In Chapter 27 we will get a formal diagnosis for Dieter and take a deeper dive into his disorder as well as how the medication he is on has created a perfect storm.

🌛Mysterious-Moonstruck-Musings

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[jihyoruri]

okay I NEED to talk abt this bc richgirlyn is literally me FORREAL 

so uhh not the analysis I thought I’d be doing but I need to. the other one will be later 

ok tw for eds I guess like this is the entire analysis 

disclaimer. this is all my interpretation as well as my experience. I’ve had an issues w eating since 8 (almost twins!) and it’s been literal years. this is just what I think based on what I’VE seen and done as a girl. I know men can have ed’s but I will be talking abt it from my standpoint, which is hashtag girl. everyone’s experience is different.

key: ana=anorexia, ed=eating disorder 

Ive never dealt with real bulimia so take whatever I say with a grain of salt

okay. here’s why richgirlyn having an ed, specifically how she develops ana as she gets older makes a lot of sense (Ive had a fixation on eds and the way they affect the mind for so long..)

i feel like people forget just how genuinely maddening have an eating disorder is.

most of the time in movies they’re there for laughs and portrayed as “oh she just kinda throws up!”  (heathers, the musical) or “oh she wants to be skinny so bad she js doesn’t eat!” (mean girls) (I love both of them btw they’re just what come to mind)

like that is not what they are like AT ALL

eating disorders are some of the most deadly mental illness there is and because it mostly affects teenage girls and women people literally treat it like something not that serious or a joke it’s actually insane how people do not gaf about it

so anyway.

I feel like if children have issues with food they always start out thinking of purging

it makes sense! if you don’t want calories, just get rid of them.

obviously, it doesn’t work that way, and purging doesn’t even actually work well LMAO most of the calories are absorbed unless u throw up like the second food enters ur mouth like it is not foolproof at all.

but to a child it makes sense. the food is gone so you can’t gain weight

and when you’re a kid your gag reflex is way more sensitive so it’s way easier to vomit. when you get older it’s so much harder

bulimia is not really possible long term for idols because of its side effects which are:

erosion of tooth enamel making them appear clear other than white

sunken in, bulging eyes

swollen cheeks

hair loss 

GERD

also for the fact it doesn’t really help much with not absorbing the calories + the fact that it affects the appearance, which idols need to be perfect, + the fact that it affects your voice, which idols need, and also throwing up is difficult 

much more common in idols is anorexia.

so! actually the side effects of ana aren’t as noticeable if you’re not restricting a lot! at about 700-800 calories max a day I didn’t experience hair loss or getting spots on my skin

It was mostly that I was just tired all the time and kind of irritable. i never experienced any physical effects other than losing weight (didn’t lose much muscle bc most of the cals were protein and I worked out everyday)

anyway

richgirlyn definitely likes control.

we can see how control has been taken from her time and time again— mostly by her dad, making all the decisions while she doesn’t get a say, and later, how her members and the people around her treat her.

eds are about control more than looks. It’s the one safety net, the one thing you can always be good at.

when everything around you is falling apart— you can control what you eat. it’s like an accomplishment. look how low I got the number! I’m so good at this! I’m so disciplined!

It’s like. “no one could ever get as low as me”. It makes you weirdly competitive 

and obviously there’s pressure to be skinny as a trainee. It’s what half of your self worth is based on. so if you can control that? and punish yourself (because as we’ve discussed richgirlyn does NAWT like herself that much) while you’re at it? It’s literally gold

she practices and practices, trying to be good enough, the best, and she doesn’t want to eat. eating is kind of like admitting defeat and saying you’re weak and giving in to the need to have food. 

oh and y’all don’t KNOW what mommy issues do with an ed like.

if losing weight makes someone PROUD? oh you KNOW you’re dropping to size 0 trust like it’s actually insane. I can’t even explain the real insanity that comes with an ed it makes you actually crazy. you start becoming afraid of certain numbers because they look bigger even if it’s not how it works. ex: it’s better to eat 98 cal than 50 because 98 feels “smaller” like it’s CRAZY. the state of mind you have when you’re doing that is really seriously not normal like I know it’s obvious but people don’t GET IT. you become very obsessive and cagey over it like if you eat over a certain limit you will literally either break down or get up and go work out until you think you’re back under and the guilt eats you up inside. richgirlyn is SAUR MEEEE FOR REAL

so ANYWAY richgirlyn having an ed makes sense. specifically ana.

she likes control, she wants something to feel proud about (along with her singing and dancing and rapping abilities), it’s something her mom’s PRAISED HER FOR so you already KNOW when her mom is like “wowww you’ve lost weight!” she is like I’m gonna get so much worse.

and also there has to be a part of her that wants someone to worry. i know she hates being seen as weak but I just know minjeong saying smth like “oh I wondered how u stay thin it’s cause u js don’t eat” made her feel so validated because it’s proof that she’s sick and she’s not okay and she’s not making it up.

I’m very sure her being well off has completely fucked with the idea of her being “allowed” to feel negative emotions. like “I’m rich, I shouldn’t be sad” but with any negative emotion.

and I know she was getting better until she got put in le sserafim I just KNOW especially CURRENTLY?

the stress of her members disliking her makes her feel worse abt her self making her want more control and also there’s this very fucked up part of it where it’s like. the less I eat and the less space I take up the more they’ll like me, they won’t hurt me if they think I’m sick and fragile and GODDD that’s so her. she wants to be strong so bad but sometimes.

anyway it’s 1 am this isn’t a great analysis maybe I’ll circle back to this but I needed to talk about it

I love richgirlyn she’s witerwally me 

-🎏

It’s crazy that everything you just said is so correct like completely correct when it comes to richgirl!yn’s problems.

and because this has been going on since she was ten it’s just a normal routine for her all that girl does is try her best to become better, and because she knows that her image is something that her mother actually pays attention about her, so it’s rlly important to her.

even now that she’s an idol she doesn’t talk to her mom but there’s times when her mom will call her and be like “you look a little different.” and then she’s completely back in that cycle

[biggsodorcitystories]

Henry's "Old Shape."

(A Headcanon)

Here is how I have interpreted Henry's infamous "old shape" in my humanised AU.

Henry was born with several birth defects, which were blamed on (but likely completely unrelated to) his being the result of a one-night-stand. As an engine, these defects only manifest in a small firebox, but in human form, they are much more visible.

Henry's small firebox translated into unusually small lungs. As a result, he was constantly in a state of breathlessness, struggling with dizziness and exhaustion, and often had bloodshot eyes from struggling to take in enough oxygen.

As an engine, Henry famously struggled with making enough steam. Given that steam engines also use their steam to regulate their body temperature, struggling to produce steam makes them extremely sweaty when they revert to human form. So Henry had a very significant sweat problem. Mercifully, engine sweat smells sooty rather than human BO. However, Henry often found that lingering soot in the air would stick to his sweaty body and hair, making him look and feel filthy.

He also suffered from constant loss of appetite, both from his illness and depression. As a result, and exacerbated by the sweating, Henry could not sustain any weight gain. This gave him a pinched and emaciated appearance. Unfortunately, given that he was taller than Gordon, he had an almost cryptid-like appearance and would sometimes frighten passengers. His shirts were ill-fitting and a bizarre contrast to his naturally solid legs (common in male tender engines).

Overall, Henry was rendered despite his size, rather feeble and decidedly lonely when he started out on Sodor. Edward, the oldest of the NWR engines, was very kind and sympathetic towards him and would offer help sometimes. Thomas was cheeky to him, but this was comforting for Henry as the little oik was cheeky to everyone. Gordon and James, however, would mock him and openly looked down on him, often discussing his most recent failure within earshot.

Then, one day, Sir Topham Hatt himself had joined his crew to observe his morning train. He tried so hard, but all his efforts only seemed to make his problems worse. To his utter humiliation, he had to stop at Wellsworth and watch as Edward - his older, female, and visibly pregnant colleague - took the train for him.

Afterwards, Edward was quick to offer comfort and tried to reassure him that Sir Topham Hatt wanted to help him get better, but Gordon and James gossiped about him, mocking his recent failure with open glee. Henry had never felt lower in his life and couldn't see any hope for the future.

[howtofightwrite]

I have a character in a story that loses an arm (transhumeral amputation). How would they go about retaining their skill as a sword fighter? I know they'd have to relearn how to use their sword with their remaining arm, learn their new weight balance, etc.. but any time I try to look up references I'm always directed to martial arts movies (which I love, but not what I need). This is a fantasy story and said character is a vampire, so some liberties CAN be taken, but I'd like some level of accuracy and nuance.

So, that's burying the lead a bit. Normally, the answer would be that a character wouldn't reasonably have time to relearn for their off hand. At least, not to get back to where they were, and that still might not be possible.

I mean, you have to figure, if you spend 20 years practicing and improving with your dominant hand, it would take a significant chunk of that to relearn the muscle memory with your off-hand, after you lose your dominant one. Even if we assume it's something like 15 years to get back to where you were with your dominant hand (which, I'm not entirely certain that's the real number, but we can roll with it for illustration) you'd still be looking at another 15 years to get back to where you were, versus having had 35 years to improve with your dominant hand ifyou never lost it in the first place. This becomes a little more important when you're considering that you've taken 15 years to get back to where you were, while you'd still be 15 years behind any foe who was practicing and didn't lose their limb.) (Again, I'm going to stress, that, “15 years,” number is just an off the cuff fabrication, not a solid value. The real answer could be all over the place, and potentially it could be even longer if your character isn't cross-dexterous.)

As for how you'd relearn, that's really more of a practice and exercise. Under normal circumstances, you might benefit from some physical therapy (which, probably isn't happening in this case.) But the important part is your character already knows how to use a sword, they just need to build proficiency with their off-hand. Obviously, if their sword style used their off-hand to stabilize their blade, that's not happening. This is pretty common with heavier swords. Even with rapiers the off hand is used to help the duelist maintain balance. So, the loss of a limb isn't trivial, even in cases where that hand never touches the blade.

Of course, any discussion of a one armed swordsman would be incomplete without at least mentioning the German mercenary, Goetz von Berlichingen. (You'll sometimes see his name spelled, “Götz,” this is because the umlaut can be expressed by adding an E after the vowel, I don't have a German keyboard, and fishing up the alt-code and using it every time is a little tedious, but you can search with the “ö.”) Goetz lost his arm to cannon fire in 1504, and with the use of a prosthetic would continue his military career for decades. Over the years, he had multiple prosthetics, most of which still survive in German museums. Goetz's wound was below the elbow, so that's a little different, but if you ever think the idea of a one armed swordsman is completely unbelievable, there's was a historical figure, who remains something of a German folk-hero. Also note, he lost his dominant hand, and used prosthetics in its place (including to write, using a different hand from the ones he took into combat. Incidentally, he wrote an autobiography, though I have not read it.)

So, let's look at the detail that changes everything: your character's a vampire.

First, this means your character has a lot of time to recover from losing a limb. It's also quite possible that at some point they started training with their off-hand and developed supernatural proficiency (possibly even developed ambidexterity) simply because, “they got bored.” Someone who has spent hundreds of years with the sword will probably be able to mop the floor with any mortal foe who had ten to fifteen years of practice. And by, “mop the floor,” I mean, they're unlikely to pose a threat. This is compounded by the desire for a low magic setting. In a high magic setting there are potential dangers. Mages with sufficiently potent spells that could harm the vampire. The mortal foe could be possessed by an even more ancient spirit. Enchantments and artifacts that supernaturally augment the mortal's skills, reflexes, or even their durability. But, in a low magic setting, that vampire enjoys a very privileged position in the food chain.

Now, there is a conflict here, vampires are (for the most part) high magic monsters. This doesn't mean there's a problem with dropping them into a low magic setting, just that vampires trend into territory where that mortal characters will struggle to keep up with.

In most settings, vampires are undead. This has some significant implications for this question. Some vampires have a limited shelf-life, their bodies are inherently decomposing around them, and eventually they'll be immobile and a non-threat. However, this is very rare outside of folklore, and most vampires in popular fiction are immortal. This means they have to have some capacity to regenerate wounds on their body. They are, literally, regenerating dead flesh. Even in a mostly low magic setting, it's reasonable to assume your vampire may be able to regenerate from the loss of a limb, given enough time and magic. (Or, at the very least, simply reattach their lost limb.) This is especially threatening if the vampire is an antagonist, as it invalidates the progress the heroes thought they made. This can retroactively render a character's heroic sacrifice as utterly meaningless, when the supposedly permanent damage they inflicted is reversed. This could be especially potent if the vampire simply picks up their severed limb, presses it against the stump, and reattaches it on the spot. The severed limb could have some serious story hooks, for example if your characters absconded with it, only for the vampire to track them via the severed limb, hitting their base of operations, causing even more death and destruction, before the vampire replaces their limb.

Even if the vampire is allied with the protagonists, lopping off one of their limbs has a lot of potential for expressing their fundamental inhumanity. Where a mortal would be horrified (before going into shock and dying), a vampire might be fairly blasé about the injury, or simply annoyed, before switching hands and continuing with the fight, only coming back to replace their limb later. This is a character who may be more upset about the damage to their shirt than that their arm was just cut off, because, to them, it has all the persistence of a chipped nail.

Slightly more unsettling, it's possible the vampire might not need to replace their arm with the original. Whatever magic keeps them upright might be entirely capable of grafting a new arm in its place. Leading the vampire to hunt down your protagonists in search of a replacement (and, maybe a little vengeance.) Whether the grafted arm remains recognizable as belonging to its original owner, or adjusts to become indistinguishable from the vampire's, is up to you. (Extra fun here, if magic animating the vampire can survive being decapitated, and replace their head with another. This has the potential to get really out of hand, and that's probably for the best.)

I get the desire for something grounded, and that's certainly worth keeping in mind when dealing with your mortal characters. However, the wounded character is a vampire, and this is a situation that puts the difference between them and the mortals around them into incredibly sharp contrast. Vampires aren't just edgy goth kids with a skin condition, they're fundamentally inhuman, and this is a really fantastic place to illustrate that. It's great opportunity to show just how far they've removed themselves from humanity.

-Starke

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[thebroccolination]

I'm curious about something! In your opinion, which Between Us Specials are BounPrem and which are WinTeam? You mentioned on your last post staff and SWS were very mich aware of the mix, so 🤔🤔 Curious Stephh 🤭

Oooooohohoho, this is a fun ask!

THE BETWEEN US SPECIALS BOUNPREM vs. WINTEAM

Week 1

90% WinTeam

I'd call this one pretty solidly in character. Team moves around in his sleep a lot, Win grumbles a bit, gives Team a kiss on the cheek before he gets out of bed, and Team has an emotional meltdown because he was awake. I think Prem's just a tiiiny bit giddier than Team would be.

70% WinTeam

I think they both borrowed a little too much from their own personalities for this one, Boun more than Prem. Like, Boun's smile and laugh when he realizes Team wants a kiss goodbye are very much his own.

100% WinTeam

And thus, my overall favorite! Win pretends to be exasperated for three seconds, Team is a coddled baby, and Win is smitten. I'm pretty sure these are supposed to be set in the future, like Win's fourth year and Team's second, so this matches up perfectly with how they'd be down the road.

Week 2

30% WinTeam

This is very, very BounPrem to me. Boun just seems to be having fun with the goofy setup, and Prem's reaction at the end is a little too cartoonish. (Also, If I'm remembering right, the original skit Sheep wrote had them eating actual ice cream, so it melted faster and the tone was a little more ~erotic~. The popsicle they got for this scene wasn't really melting, though, so I think it made the scene a lot goofier than it was supposed to be.)

20% WinTeam

This one really drives home a comment Boun made about these special episodes: he found laughing as Win especially challenging because Win didn't really laugh in UWMA. He was fairly collected and calm for most of his scenes, so these lighthearted episodes where he laughs quite a bit are when Boun shines through most obviously. Like, this is just Boun being silly with Prem.

20% WinTeam

Again, this is mostly BounPrem goofing off and being cute. I remember Thai fans were very, "lol so this is a BounPrem week," when these three aired. It was cute, it just wasn't WinTeam Cute.

Week 3

0% WinTeam, 0% BounPrem

This was based on a short social media skit Sheep wrote in 2020. If I'm remembering correctly, Team pokes at his stomach and whines because the pool is closed during lockdown, so Win basically suggests sex as exercise instead. So it's another skit that was originally hinting at an erotic ending aaand turned goofy in the special episode. I honestly pretend this one doesn't exist. I didn't like the weight-shaming in UWMA and I liked it even less in the special episodes. But to give credit where it's due, when fans reached out to Paaty and Dao (BP's managers) about, they said they'd talked to New about it and he said they'd discuss the issue in more detail. So far, there hasn't been anything like it in BU, so it seems like they took the criticism seriously. (And considering one of their favorite sponsors is a plastic surgery clinic that specializes in weight loss, I'm impressed. Fingers crossed it lasts for the rest of BU.) Anyway, Win wouldn't weight-shame his boyfriend. NOT MY WINTEAM.

Note: Weight's a common topic in Asia, I know. When I lived in Japan, it was fairly common to get a cheerful, "You're skinnier/you got fat!" as a greeting from people I hadn't seen in a while. Still, it's one of those cultural things I don't think should be excused just because it's cultural. It just think it's universally unnecessary to comment on other people's bodies, y'know? You don't know what they're going through, it's not yours to comment on, etc. Plus I really don't like the position it puts Prem in.

5% WinTeam

Pffft. I'm remembering how much I disliked Week 3. This week was the one that really worried me about Between Us and how they'd portray Team. Like, why would he be this averse to sex in the special episodes, which are meant to be set when they've been dating for a while…? It just gave me those old-school BL vibes where the ~bottom~ is all "nooOoOOOoOoo I'm pure and I don't like sex" and I want to stab myself in the eye.

30% WinTeam

I think Boun channels the exasperation Win would feel, but Prem plays Team slightly too much like a caricature of Team for me. And then the whole second half is just playful Boun being playful Boun. And again, the "NOOOO NOT SEEEEX" thing.

Note: The locker room scene in BU damn near made me cry. I had almost no hope of them showing Team that enthusiastic about sex after the special episodes.

Week 4

90% WinTeam

Team's asleep throughout the scene, so this was all up to Boun, and he did well, I think! He's a little softer on the ABC gang than I think Win would be, but otherwise I think it's solid. Also, Team reaching for Win in his sleep is my second-favorite moment in these.

Note: N'aw, first introduction of the alphabet! (Minus Art, who was cast later as A.)

90% WinTeam

I was enormously relieved when this one aired because it actually had Team initiating sex. Yay! And the music is ridiculous, but I also really liked Prem's initial frustration/anxiety. He plays it a little too over the top, but in general this is probably my third-favorite scene.

Week 5

0% WinTeam

This is 100% BounPrem. The feet-kicking from Boun, the teasing from Prem, etc. This is WinTeam cosplaying BounPrem.

50% WinTeam

This is very cute, absolutely, but I don't see Win being this taken aback by a cheek kiss after they've been dating for months or possibly a year. Prem did fine though! This feels very much like Team.

60% WinTeam

Especially when you compare this to the horror movie scene in the main series, it's very, very clear that Boun's reaction here is zero percent Win and all himself. BUT there he tells Team he'll stay until it ends felt like Win. I can't decide where I fall on Team telling Win he's cute: it feels like Prem, but it's got Team's sass, so I'll lean in Team's favor for this one.

Week 6

50% WinTeam

This is EXTREMELY FUNNY but it's also EXTREMELY BOUNPREM. In fairness, I think Prem managed to stay mostly in character, but just look at that expression up there. That's 100% my gentle chaotic son Boun. <3

60% WinTeam

It's a little more in-character than the last one but it's still a little caricature-y.

BASICALLY, there's a reason why they put a "we're just fucking around, don't take this seriously" disclaimer at the start of every episode. I saw someone on here call the special episodes extended character workshops, which is genius and probably true.

Regardless of whether they'e more WinTeam or BounPrem, they're very cute and they kept us fed while we waited. <3

And it shows how much they've grown!