#maybe it hurts for me more bc i lost my cat this year...

[strab3rr]

(long story and no short sorry) GUYSSS I DID ITT

I INDUCED IT!!!!! I WAS PURE AS A FUCKING BABY

IDK WHAT TO SAY (ok enough w capslock)

i have so much to say and not a thing at da same time idk how

anyway i want to begin with thanking you @b4ddprincess bc youre the reason i realized why i started this thing. thank you for making my life better and make me realized what i need to do: nothing. (its same for you guys, all u have to do is nothing)

two fuckn years ago i said to myself that i need a better life, quiter life, less fight with everthing bc everything was so loud and not clear i was feeling lost like a child in the market, and i wanted to make things better for myself in every way, but the main idea of my reasons to wanting to get in the void was: making anxiety go and having better people in my life. but the ''voidlist'' just never stopped bc im kinda greedy(having the idea of controling on your life, the idea of that power makes you greedy. yes thats a thing) anyway the more i add to the list the more i feel like im movin away from my desires then i feel depressed bc ive overcomplicating it bc theres so many things to do but i dont do anything so nothing happend bc i was waiting to be someth happen. and then i started doing awkwardly silly things such as: void routines and challenges and (im embarrassed of this one bc i was too desperate) drinking water

youve read it correct drinking water.

i was sooo desperate for having those things id do anything to get them.

i am simple. i want what everyone wants🎀🎀🎀: shifting realities bc i have so many crush and i need them to be crush me in bed(for 2020 girlies)

being an academic weapon is so easy for me🎀(bc of the urge to make my family proud) +dream collage

being the girl that everyone gets along w(basic needs)

being the girl who is pretty not cute(trauma response)

glowing aura(cats loves people w glowing aura yes thats a thing too)

dream body n hair(bc i deserve this🎀)

healthy (girlyfriend)friends(basic needs)

and of course him, my sp(i cant tell wich one at that time but i releived that its not him now, bc MY BELOVED CURRENT BF. guyss he is the one. dont u dare ask me how you know? i literally manifested him🎀)

then i realized i can have everything bc its my reality so why not add these:

new phone, +macbook air

dream apartment of my own

pinterest closet

lifa app for this reality

financially free-money(a lot. like really a lot)

knowing 4 languages like a native person(bc i want to be diplomat so bad) +sign language(its in general)

a little drama(its not gonna hurt anybody)

my parents being more lovable and away from me

every time i try to get in, either i was failing or falling

and im sick of it, sick of it so much i quit.(for a year)

then i go to the theraphy(ofc no im jk ilove being crazy)

one day i saw a post ss from tumblr about pure consciousness on pinterest and i was like whaat is thiiss. no mention of void so i thougt its a diffrent thing and i download the tumblr again and search everything abt it. and same excitement again after one year same thougts and same list popes up in my head. and i was like ok maybe this time itll happen.

still waiting to be someth happen so nothing happend, it was such a waste of time trying to get in while i was already be, i was already what i want to become. i was that girl that everyone gets along with but i couldnt even see bc i was too focused on wanting to be. but still tried every night and failed. and again tried-failed-quit circle bc.. have you ever met me🎀

4 month ago i saw the girl, iconic blogger and the goddess of my dreams, her @b4ddprincess thx again love u so much

a post pops in my fyp and i see the words ''pure consciousness'' i was like noo not again. and i was serious abt it i wasnt gonna read the whole thing but it attract me n i couldnt resist it so ive read it from the top to the bottom. and she got my interest so i stalked her page from the last and to the first post. it was quiet a beautiful journey for me. lasted like 3 days, the end of the 3rd day i was ''woaw it was this easy all along? u cant be serious.'' she was. i tried one last time, no breathing exercise, no ridiculous routines and no waiting something to be happen. it was just me being real me chilling out asf.

and it was this easy and it should be this easy bc being your 4d self is being nothing also being everything at the same time. if u wanna be everything you should be nothing first(as wizardliz saying: drop the old story, leave the victimhood, for being better stop being bitter etc.)u should make a space for everything first and then u can be everything.

for being 4d self of yours stop being your3dself.

sooo long story (no)short i am writing this from my mac in my new apartment(in middle of the night bc i couldnt sleep and then one tumblr notification reminded me i have a success story to share too) and my phone buzzing two minutes a time bc of my friends while im writing this, so if theres anything wrong ignore it pls.

oh u asking my bf how cute, hes sleepin in my bed now, exhausted from the work n school balance.

YWS SCHOOL!! im in my dream collage and im going to be in paris for a week. i deserve a vacation i guess(its for another conference), i kinda hate french men bc theyre so mansplaning(not like how i imagined, its hard to be friends w them)girls are cute but i feel like theyre aware im not permanent there so we just con buddies still cute and hepful for this foreigner.

and i canceled the lifa app thingy bc i can be my purest consciousness anytime i want, so i am my lifa app.

and thx to 4 languages i make a lot of money and that brings us to the pinterest closet, yesterday i realiased that. theyre not comes to me w an imaginary way like i imagined! i go outside for shopping casually and theyre there luckily i have enough money to buy them.

and my family theyre living in our hometown now so as i want it to be, we are away from eachother.

and the most magical thing: SHIFTING REALITIESSS

i did 5 world before i met w my bf. it was such a wonderful experience. if you have doubts abt shifting you can go fuck urself

because sir i did it and i am very sure that dean winchester being my husband is not a daydream, fantasy nor lucid dreaming. believe it or not he kissed me GOD HE KİSSED ME(someone should stop me i have a bf)

is there anything i missed let me see.. cats i have 2 cats now and theyre adorable. glowing aura-check

the girl who is pretty not cute- check +make anxietygo-checkcheckcheck

dream body and hair- check and check

i wanna give u a info i didnt have all my desires by being my4dself

not directly actually. but i have them all. and thats the point.

im not trying to be a blogger but if you have any question abt anything, id be happy to help

now i need to upgrade things in my farm byeess

loves, siena.

[brackenfur]

i really do wish that like. ok when i think about brambleclaw and ashfur, in firestars quest they seem like good friends and get along well, and then we all know what happens in the book series(s) beyond that, but i really would want to give their dynamic more like. impact, and i’ve talked abt it here and there before, but:

i imagine that when bramblepaw first became an apprentice, ashpaw really liked him and treated him like a younger brother, almost. he saw how bramblepaw was kinda shy and he took him under his wing - he would teach him how to leap after leaves, he’d taught him crouches, talk to him about training, that sort of thing. and bramblepaw really looked up to ashpaw bc most of the clan treats him and tawnypaw rly differently, except for ashpaw and fernpaw and a few others. but bramblepaw rly likes that he has a close friend in the clan

and then brindleface is killed. and bramblepaw sees how sad fernpaw and ashpaw are at her vigil, so he comes up to say how sorry he is - he just lost his older brother, swiftpaw, too. and if ashpaw needed to talk, he’d always be there - but when ashpaw looks up at him, he looks….angry. he doesn’t say anything, so bramblepaw leaves because he thinks ashpaw is grieving and needs space, but form then on out, ashpaw won’t even speak to him. and after tawnypaw leaves to shadowclan, bramblepaw feels more alone than ever - he has other friends, but ashpaw was his first real friend, and now ashpaw wont even look at him. and bramblepaw tells firestar about it, saying that maybe it’s because he’s grieving for brindleface, but……..deep down bramblepaw knows why ashpaw is angry at him, he just doesn’t want it to be true.

and after tigerstar is killed, bramblepaw doesn’t really know how to feel since he hates his father, but to see him die like that…….. but he sees the weird, almost smug way ashpaw keeps looking at him and he almost wants to ask him why, what his problem even is, but he thinks about brindleface and decides he doesn’t want to know the answer.

and then after the battle with bloodclan when they kill bone together , he thinks maybe it’ll change - maybe ashpaw will like him again - but outside of some curt words and greetings, they aren’t friends anymore. bramblepaw wants to respect his decision, even if it hurts really bad that he lost his first friend bc of something tigerstar did, but he just wants to focus on becoming a warrior now.

and for a year that’s what he does - sometimes a cat like sorreltail or thornclaw will be like “hey, didn’t you guys used to be friends?” to which brambleclaw doesn’t know what to say - but he’s determined to prove ashfur and everyone else wrong.

and then he meets hawkfrost and starts training in the dark forest and for the first time in years, ashfur really starts to pay attention again. because he stopped trusting brambleclaw after brindleface died - ashfur knows that’s cruel, to blame him for something tigerstar did, but his heart can’t take anymore betrayals and deaths, and he sees it as a measure to protect himself and thunderclan - but when he sees hawkfrost he thinks, oh, i was right. and not only was i right - but squirrelflight is becoming closer to brambleclaw and she doesn’t even know about my mother, how she died. how brambleclaws father killed her to feed to a pack of dogs.

so he starts talking to squirrelflight and hanging out with her, and they get close, but when she goes back to hanging out with brambleclaw, he can’t cope. brambleclaws father took away ashfurs mother, everyone in thunderclan adores brambleclaw again, AND he was made deputy, AND squirrelflight thinks ashfur is this overbearing creep and he’s like, oh hell no.

and THAT to me feels more interesting than in canon but!!!!!!! that’s just me

[sugar-omi]

Hope you don't mind another prompt from me, since my first one when you mentioned the hangman moment 'Growing', I thought it would be a very fun thought experiment to reverse the scene and it's gn!mc who writes the phrase down, and Cove is the one to guess it. I take hangman very seriously (bc it's my favorite pass-time activity) so I'm very quick with it but I could imagine Cove taking some more rounds to guess until he finally gets the full result. :D

tags : fluff, step 2, re-imagined "growing" moment

synopsis : you flirt with cove in a game of hangman

maybe its the heat that makes you so bold, or maybe its mistake number 5,796 that only 13 year olds can make at this time; but with cove's suggestion to play hangman, you decide to share one of your many thoughts on cove, your neighbor and crush...

you sit back down with a paper and pen in hand. "mind if i go first? since you picked the game..."

cove nods.

you hum and think for a minute, tossing back and forth ideas before you finally settle on it.

it's a bit embarrassing, and you feel a wave of heat wash over you, but you just blame it on the weather.

sketching out the lines for the hangman and your quote, you turn it around for cove to start guessing.

your heart pounds as cove starts guessing, although his first guess makes you laugh.

"z?"

you laugh for a bit, leaning on your bed as you take in cove's answer. wiping away tears you look at him with a grin. "z? wha- *laughs* what makes you guess z?"

cove smiles lazily, happy to make you laugh. he shrugs. "gotta take out the hard options."

you shake your head, drawing a shaky circle for the hangman's head. "you're silly. consider starting with vowels instead."

you pause for a moment, wondering if you're giving yourself away.

you didn't exactly think about how cove would react to the compliment once he guessed it.. would it be okay if he didn't guess it?

he'd probably ask what it was if he failed... would you tell him?

you chew your lip, startling when cove catches your attention.

"y/n?" cove tilts his body to the side, looking at you.

you smile weakly. "nevermind, just dying in this heat."

cove blinks but plays along with you, grinning as he makes a comment. "me too. i think i'm stuck to the floor now."

you throw your stuffed cat plushie at him. it didn't hurt him, the cat is the size of his hand at best. he just laughs and fluffs it into shape.

"imma have to charge you rent then." you grin wolfishly when cove asks how much. "twenty."

cove rolls his eyes, his cheeks a bit flushed as he thinks about it. "still can't believe my dad did that..."

cove looks down at the paper, telling you his answer again before you get too distracted.

you lick your lips, adding "O" to the line.

you smile at him, continuing where you left off. "yeah, it was kinda weird.." you twiddle your fingers, looking at your lap as cove takes a bite of his sandwich, thinking about his next guess as he waits for you to continue or not.

mumbling a bit, realizing the heat must have some kind of bug in it since you're so... sentimental today.

"i'm glad he did it anyway. you're not bad for twenty dollars." you smirk, trying to ignore your racing heart and covering up your fluster with jokes.

cove rolls his eyes and laughs. there's still a blush on his cheeks, your words still warmed his heart.

"good. there's no refunds." he plays along, looking at you through his lashes.

"damn. i missed the return window, huh." you curse to which cove laughs, telling you his next guess.

"p!"

you bite your lip, drawing the letter.

as you go on playing, joking and laughing as well as focusing occasionally when cove contemplates his next move.

he's... close. although not without sacrifice.

he lost the first and second round, with only 3 letters correctly guessed on the board in the first round and somehow finished the second round with 2. now it's you're third round, and his hangman is close to his end, unfortunate for him.

the hangman only has 2 legs and an arm left, and cove has finally decided to take your game seriously instead of laughing and joking with you.

you're really nervous now, since he's getting really close..

YOU A_E CU_E

cove looks confused at what it could be, but taking his former experience into account he guesses the next few letters.

"r?" cove phrases it like a question, tilting his head like a puppy.

you draw it, twisting the pencil as he takes the final guess.

"t..."

you swallow, drawing a shaky letter 'T'.

'YOU ARE CUTE'

the silence stretches between you two, and you look up from the paper to greet cove's flushed face.

he's covering his face with his hands and you look down at his lap to see his glasses are hanging off the plush cat's head.

you try to think of the plushie with glasses that actually fit, its a way to distract you as you wait for cove to respond but it just makes you blush when you realize it'd just look like cove that way...

jesus fucking christ... you drag your hand over your face. cove takes up so much of your thoughts...

you look up at him, still covering your mouth with your hand, and you mumble loudly enough for him to hear. "...a penny for your thoughts?"

cove squeaks, clearly lost in his thoughts.

it makes you happy though, since he hasn't run away it must be a good sign right?

he peaks at you from the gaps of his fingers. the shadow casted over his face makes his eyes pop, cove's brilliant blue irises making your stomach flutter with the way he looks so flustered by your written compliment.

you startle, almost missing his question.

"you mean it?..."

you blink, swallowing. suddenly your mouth feels dry... in the end you nod, and muster up a couple words.

"yeah. i do." cove squeaks at your answer.

you can't really see it, but cove's hands part in a way that allow you to see the smile forming on his face.

it makes you smile too. this is good right? you're suppose to start feelings... things. at this age, so this is okay. especially if its cove.

cove finally comes out of hiding, trading covering his face for twisting the arms of the cat plush in his lap. he must have braced himself enough to give his own compliment without hiding, at least if tilting his head down and glancing away didn't count.

"i uh... i think you're cute too..."

you're blushing, and you bite your lip to stop the elated grin from taking over your face.

yeah, this is definitely okay.

[xslytherclawx-writes]

hi hi for the director's commentary thing, i know it's from a few years ago but i really love enough contrition to spare so if you have anything you'd like to share about that fic i'd love to know!!

oooh yes!!! i absolutely ADORE that one! one of my favorites!!!

this got really long, so. cut.

so I wrote it for Heart Attack Exchange, which is 10k minimum in 2 weeks, and I think I wrote it in like four days? in a fugue state. that means much of the creative process has been completely lost to that fugue state lol

because it was for an exchange, it was written for a recipient - kirby is a LOVELY recipient to write for, and they have so many ideas I always love (I wrote for them for Heart Attack this year, too). I definitely tailored it to their likes (and the kitten at the end was 1000% a surprise for them bc they love cats).

but exchanges are not 1:1 "write me exactly this scenario" (that's a good way to get a gentle email from the mods), so I took their request (canon divergence, Harry raised by others, focus on a minor character) and ran with it.

Astronomy goes wayyyyyyyy back to when I'd RP Regulus in high school lol - I'd put astronomy as his favorite subject because I was so tired of everyone assuming Slytherin = Potions. Besides, it makes sense, right? (I don't think that comes up in any of my other Regulus fics haha - maybe the one I wrote for Tavina for Battleship). Astronomy also gave me the chance to have him do things during the day to push the plot (and emotional beats).

Evan is generally my choice for pairing Regulus in non-Ravenclaw AUs when I want the relationship to be (approaching) healthy, or equitable, or when I want Regulus to be the one with more power in the relationship. (fwiw I mean, I don't think Regulus would have been hurt in a relationship with Evan in Ravenclaw AU - Evan is a different matter entirely tho of course). This [also] goes wayyyyyy back to like 2008?ish? when a fanartist I really liked paired them together - and specifically the brand of Evan being dedicated to Regulus, regardless of Regulus's degree of investment.

(Barty (the "hurt Regulus" choice) would've been a very bad match for this specific fic, particularly as Regulus sells him out, and I didn't want that much angst - besides, Kirby didn't particularly want unhealthy relationships.)

Evan is also someone who doesn't quite become disenchanted with ~The Cause~, so that gave me a source of tension between them: Regulus has spent the past two years learning that Muggleborns are human beings and that the war is an absolute waste run by a madman who wants to install himself at the top of a totalitarian regime (the latter he woke up to in 1979, but like, it's really driven home by horcrux hunting). Evan's line about being at each other's throats is Evan making it clear that he knows where Regulus stands and doesn't agree.

As for the brothers - well, I just modded a fest for them lol (or am in the middle of? last fic has been revealed but we're still anonymous), so naturally I wanted there to be some focus on their relationship. Regulus enlisting his family to get Sirius a trial is an idea I really love, mostly because Sirius would really fucking hate it - but would it work? Regulus is more pragmatic than Sirius, who has Morals.

But you can't fix estrangement in a matter of days - Regulus makes his effort (as prickly as he may be during it), and Sirius doesn't know what to do with this new, reformed version of his little brother. In the end, Sirius trusts him to take care of a vulnerable creature just as Sirius is taking care of a vulnerable person (baby Harry).

Also, if you squint, there's a Max cameo at the Ministry scene. I couldn't help myself lol (and Regulus turning Barty & Bella & the Lestranges in saves Frank and Alice! butterfly effect!)

Narcissa serves explicitly as a surrogate maternal figure for Regulus, despite their closeness in age. She genuinely loves him and wants the best for him (misguided though she may sometimes be), fusses over his marriage prospects, and will probably one day accept his change of allegiance - and forgive him for turning in Bellatrix. One day. Probably.

Regulus hasn't quite disentangled himself from his old life (and isn't sure whether he wants to, especially regarding Narcissa), so he goes to Christmas at her home to be surrounded by love and affection.

I'm not sure if / when Regulus finally moves on from Evan in this universe, because the firewhisky obviously signals that Evan is still thinking about him – still loves him, despite everything.

Also, again: cats. Can't go wrong with cats.

[shawnananan]

I spent almost all last year in bed. In a shroud of my own depression, heightened by Meatloaf getting rly sick and eventually losing him in May. Why is darkness so comforting in those moments??? Only a few months ago did I actually take inventory of how bad I was. Just thinking back to how I eventually started getting sick physically every 3-4 weeks from October to January. My body was wrecked, my mind was shambles. And yet I put that on others. I begged other people to help me, while also being difficult with those people in the moment. I would recognize it and own my behavior the next day, but I know it stings and hurts. even imploding one of my closest connections along the way. (Still hope it isn’t lost forever, but I can’t take back the things that happened and i hope maybe we can find our way back to each other in a friendly way one day…)

Why is it uncomfortable now that I’m trying to grow and make changes?? I see myself progressing in my interactions, in my word choices, in trying to understand and listen instead of only responding. Trying to calm the mind, self soothe in healthy and productive ways. I even have a calendar that I plan things in, instead of just saying no (not rly to others these days, but even to myself in holding back leaving the house). Between my appointments, outings, Pilates, I struggle in the silence. The self doubt of “healing enough”, “being better for myself” etc. I feel like a fraud at times. I feel like I’m being performative for myself. I feel like I’m building a new person out here, which is wild because I always thought I knew myself pretty well since I started medically transitioning back in 2014…but that stagnation is wild. I thought moving to Vegas would help me grow. Get out of my rut, out of my comfort zone. But here I am, 4 years later…not much to show for it. Sure, my cats are Vegas kitties and I love them so much, me and jess have built a pretty good fuckin foundation here for ourselves together…but for me???? What do I have? I HAD a community of one, but that’s gone. Trying to rebuild my life and figure out what do I want bc I have no fucking clue. I want tattoos, get a tattoo (about to have #9 of the year next Thursday). I want a community, I want queer friends, I’ve gone to two transmasc meetings so far. I want peace and calm, go to therapy. I FINALLY set up my first dr appt since I moved out here for next week as well. It’s like I have all of these moving parts, pieces I’m trying to make whole to feel better. But in between times what do I do?? This is maybe the second time ever (I was consciously not dating ppl for about a year after Emily because that one effed me up a lot) that I’m not using others to distract me, I’m actually trying to do the work. I wonder to myself what did I use to do to pass the time, what can I do to currently pass the time?? I LIKE caring for others sometimes more than I like caring for myself. Sometimes it’s loneliness. Just trying to figure out how to go from lonely feels to feels of confident solitude and just….being okay with everything.

[i-reblog-whumppp]

hi!

(this post will not always be up to date. sorry about that!)

about you?

hi, my name's lee!!

i'm 16 years old and idk. i just like whump??

tbh im not nearly as traumatised (or brutal) as some whumpers writers in this community (or so i've heard, since apparently whump is a coping mechanism for some writers?), but i do write whump (in my head, so far... 🥲)... er, mainly prompts.

i live in australia, i'm... something, and ig i'm a cat person over a dog person, bc a cat wouldn't make me leave the house everyday for a walk!! i'm also pretty hyperfixated on sonic... just ask anyone who follows my main- 😞🙏

favorite tropes?

hmmm... this is a hard one (mainly because im updating this after a long time of not reading whump, i just want all my intro posts sorted)

i do like pet whump, but more than that, i like slave/servant whump. it's nice to read from the perspective of a whumpee who, despite losing their spirit, hasn't lost themself.

but mainly, i like recovery whump (so all the fluffy + hurt/comfort caretaker stuff).

will you ever actually write in the future?

hmmm... maybe, maybe not. i may make prompts (whenever i get back into whump), but it's unlikely i'll write actual, full-on stories. if i do, it'll be more recovery than actual whump, lol.

(you shouldn't count on it because after my ao3 phase in 2022 but it's all just sonic chatfics, lol], i just haven't had the motivation since, really, lol.)

do you have any other socials?

on tumblr:

@stormyy-bluezz01 (main blog)

@sodapopsover (sonic blog)

@wowhenryiscooked (henry stickmin blog)

@theuncoolertrinity (hello neighbor blog)

other sites:

ao3: Leeshyy

discord: sonk.rom_ (pc acc), xxwannabe.artistxx (phone acc)

twitter/x: Leeshyyiozz

reddit: u/-Simply_Leeshy-

[clanoffelidae]

on the one hand i really want to go to vet school because there’s so much more i want to learn and i’m not happy with where my education currently is - but on the other hand i am so fucking lucky to work in an environment where people actually prioritize your wellbeing over the job because every single person respects that we’re all human beings over whatever the clients need and i’m reluctant to let that go

like i’m not saying everyone at my job is my bff, absolutely fucking not, but there’s respect

when we thought my cat was dying back in june and i said i was going home to be with him i was told it was fine and given condolences rather than told ‘erm actually-’

when i’ve struggled getting things done and with time management i’ve been pulled aside to discuss ‘what can WE do to help YOU’ rather than just told ‘idk just do better’, working with my supervisor and section head to develop tools to help me be more successful; one of the biggest things i get nagged about is never asking for help when i need it and being behind as a result - because i struggle with time blindness as anyone with adhd understands. but i’m not told ‘just do better’, i’m told ‘ask for HELP - we’re a team, if you have too much to do then reach out to people who can help you’

when things don’t work out - like a few weeks ago i asked for help from someone above me because i didn’t have time to set all the tests i needed by 5, but she then had to leave early to pick up her kids and lost track of time herself - she was apologizing profusely both that day and the subsequent day, and i said it was totally fine because i genuinely didn’t mind! i don’t mind staying a bit late to finish everything, because i know my job is *actually important PLUS i like knowing i did everything i was supposed to myself, i just, like i said, get nagged about not doing that lol (but this time since i DID ask for help it just didn’t work out i wasn’t nagged lol)

and the whole reason i get nagged is because our supervisors get in trouble if we have to work overtime, the administration doesn’t want anyone staying late or putting in extra work, and i have never had anyone even suggest unpaid overtime; except, in fact - me. because i get frustrated when i have like 5-10 minutes of cleaning left to do at 5 and my supervisor demands i leave instead, because i don’t want to leave that stuff undone until the next day because i’m almost finished and i’m on a roll working and i get irritated knowing i have to leave it undone when gdi you don’t even have to pay me just let me finish for fuck’s sake 🤬

i’m given respect as a human being first and an employee second, i actually have a tendency to stick around and show up even when some other people would probably go home/stay home (because after dragging myself through college and working in a research lab with grad students helping with their projects where i thusly experienced Grad School Lite) because i’m used to working through not feeling so great because ‘things have to get done’ and i still get pestered with ‘are you sure you’re okay and don’t need to go home?? okay, just let me know if you do -looking at me like they don’t think i should be here given how i said i’m feeling but not going to push me-’

i’ve actually been forced into going home multiple times before because i was trying to stay and they put their feet down saying i was clearly unwell and weren’t going to let me hurt myself

and i do the same for my coworkers - when someone is unwell i check on them, when someone needs me to take something for them i do so happily (well, i often fake-groan then go ‘yeah np!’ bc i am funny, thank you 😌), and when something genuinely serious happens (like a year and a half ago someone’s son died in a car wreck) i’m right there with everyone else organizing how we’re going to handle things without them while they deal with irl stuff and no one complains about their absence (not truly, maybe lightly or jokingly but not genuinely upset with them for not being there)

i’m not a particularly ‘professional’ person because i am the way i am and don’t feel like putting on a mask every day of my life to ‘move ahead’ in life, i’ve thought on it and i’d be more miserable playing pretend every day but having more money than being genuine and having less financial security; but i respect people as people and respect people as authorities when they prove competent in what they claim to have authority in, and **for the most part everyone here does, so i give respect back

we’re not besties or friends for life and i would never think that - but my coworkers are decent human beings who recognize what really matters, and so is admin, and i’m reluctant to let go of that

*i work in veterinary diagnostics! you know how if you take your pet in with an issue and they say ‘we’ll take a sample and send it to the lab to test for xyz’? we’re the lab :) just last week i was asked if a test result was ready yet and asked to scan it in asap bc the patient was in urgent care and they needed to know the result before proceeding with treatment. so i have no problem staying half an hour late every now and then because i started running behind in order to make sure everything gets set, because these results are actually important! but admin gets onto me when i do that so lol

**no offense to my supervisor, but i’m more scientifically-minded and smarter than her in regards to this stuff lol, she’s better at the management stuff so i have no desire to take her job, but while i won’t get into specifics, just, i’m more scientifically-minded than she is and I Can Tell lol

[mo0dy-succubus]

Random things abt me that literally Noone asked for (pt 2)

1. I have a high tolerance for sour food and candy. If you give me a lemon I'll eat it without cringing, idk tho someone suggests me some sour candy to try to make me cringe

2. I hate vegetables (me and soyeon are the same fr 🥲) despite both of us hating it tho,I hate vegetables for the taste while soyeon hate it for the texture. The only vegetables I can eat are lettuce in a salad,spinach, cucumbers and tomatoes if those count(???) Carrots only if they are in soup and broccoli of it from the Chinese store, I can't do regular broccoli tho it's disgusting.

3. I have a nose piercing and I want to get another one maybe two more? I want my other nostril pierced and my septum

4. I hate needles and I'm very scared of them, you might be wondering how did I manage to get my nosed pierced huh? Well well well...I made my mom hold my hand thats why, IT WAS PAINFUL, IT HURTS LIKE A BITCH.

5. I remember on my first day of high-school, freshman year, I got lost and had Both a panic attack and anxiety attack bc I was lost

6. I have a cat named navy he is 1 year old and will be two in march

7. I happen to have alot of problems with ppl named Tyler (so if your name is Tyler stay away from me :) jkkkk it might just be a coincidence tho)

8. I'm deathly afraid of spiders, I have major phobia of them.

9. I can't snap my fingers

10. My Starbucks order is a caramel ribbon crunch frappuccino, specially extra everything but a regular amount of whip

11. If you can't tell I have a big sweet tooth

12. Drinking coffee gives me the jitters

13. i like drawing

14. I love plays and musicals

15. I was in a musical in 3rd grade as the "main star"

16. Heather's the musical>>>>>>>

[warmaidensrevenge]

Eddie Munson x Plus size reader

This was a request by @salenorona23

Brief description: I want to request a Eddie munson x plus!size reader. Of where the reader is Dustin's adopted sister and she has powers and she gose into the lake with them and like saves them from the bats and they are like surprised bc they didn't know she had powers. but Eddie is like in love with her more so he tells her he loves her and that he has since middle school. (you don't have to do it i just wanted to request something)

Alright I'm excited. Here we go. Also I got some info from the secret circle. I think that's what it's called.

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

Warning: cursing, mentions of drug use and smoking. Not proof read and no word count.

🦸‍♀️🔥🖤

You didn't know why or how it happened but as you sat there in a police station at 11 years old you became an orphan. You never understood how your house caught on fire killing everyone but you. Until you were in an orphanage. A stupid older boy pulled your hair and a fire started on his pants. It was you. You started it. Realizing it was your fault that your family died. It was your emotions that did it. So you folding in yourself. Doing your best to control yourself. But the day you found out you were getting a perminate home you started a fire on your bed. It was small enough that no one noticed. You honestly wanted to die. You didn't want to hurt anyone else. But the Hendersons where a very nice family. Dustin being the best nerdy brother you've ever had.

You didn't have friends growing up. Until Eddie Munson found you on the swing set by yourself. You were humming something when he approached and sat on the swing next to you.

"Hey whatcha doing by yourself?"

"Just swinging" you shyly replied

" I'm Eddie."

You smiled. But didn't say anything

" well aren't cha gonna tell me your name"?"

You didn't say anything afraid to develop an uneasy feeling.

" well if you don't want to tell me. Then maybe I'll just call you loser."

You laughed cuz you were a loser. And since then that's what Eddie called you.

...

It was your freshman year in highschool when something changed. You were sitting in the cafeteria with the hellfire club listen to Eddie talk about D&D. He said something about powers that his character had. You felt this pain in you stomach. It hurt so bad . When the trays on the table started to shake. Everyone thought it was an earthquake. But you knew. It was you. So you got up and ran to the bathroom. It turned out you had finally became a woman. Well you were very unprepared for this situation and you need to go home. You heard knocking on the door. you asked the person to go away afraid what might happen to them if you lost control.

"Hey I saw that you had blood on your pants. I thought you might need some help."

You opened the door to see Robin. She had a concerned look on her face. She handed you a pad.

" I have to go home. I don't have any extra clothes."

She nodded and walked behind you to your bike. You thanked her for her help and rode home. You explained to Mrs Henderson what happened and she told you to shower and that she was gonna go out and get you supplies.

Why was this happening to you? What was it? You could make things happen. And you didn't understand why. Countless days went by in the library looking for answers.

You weren't sure if what you read was the reason you started noticing things. But you kept on seeing repeating patterns. Numbers mostly. When you got hurt you would heal incredibly fast. When you touched fire it didn't burn. A pure white cat came to you one night. It was weird. Like you knew she came for you. You asked Mrs Henderson if you could keep it but since she was allergic you weren't allowed. So you would feed it and do your best to take care of her. Whenever you were upset or sad the cat would find you. She calmed you. It was one night reading 'The complete book of black magic and witchcraft' that you understood what was happening. So the first thing you need to do was control it. And make sure no one ever found out.

Working on chants and spell work you were able to suppress your ability. Finally able to have a semi normal life. But that's when the bullying start.

Comments on your overweight self was all to unnerving. Your chants needed help to force away the power that was growing in you. That's when the candles came into play. But what helped completely ease your nature for long lengths of time was Eddie. You guys were good friends since the swing set. You spent a lot of time together. But the relationship was entirely platonic. It was your senior year and Eddie's 3rd time around when shit hit the fan.

So much was going on that you had no idea what was actually brewing just underneath the surface. People were dying and words about monsters were rumored. Something was happening in Hawkins and you could feel the pot about to boil over. But with no clue what to do. You searched and search but to no avail.

It was one day that you overhead Dustin on the phone talking about needing El and her powers.

Powers there was someone else with powers. You sat down on the privacy of Dustin's room to ask him for the truth. When he explained all that had happened these past years. You were overwhelmed by uncontrollable urge to run. And when you made it outside you started to levitate. Just as Dustin came out you fell to the ground. You explained that you just fell with Dustin not really believing you. You need to find Eddie.

You heard the screeching of tires coming to a halt in front of the house. You were sitting on the front steps smoking. You watched Eddie stumble out of his van holding his acoustic guitar.

" Hey loser what's going on?" Eddie said while sitting next to you.

" I umm I had an anxiety attack." You lied

You never told anyone about the shit you were going through. But for some reason even though Eddie knew you well. Well enough to know you when you were lying he never pressured you to tell him anything. He was always so thoughtful that way. It was the reason you got so close to him. He was always so nice to you. When times got bad that your incantations wouldn't work you would always find yourself in his trailer smoking weed and listening to him play. He was the only person able to calm you enough to surpress the growing pain you felt when you didn't use your curse. You remembered the first night you stayed with him. You were freaking out about something someone said about your thunder thighs when you and Eddie went to a movie. The person sitting next to you was complaining about your thigh touching there's. You were visibly upset that you left before you felt things start to unravel in yourself. Eddie found you in the parking lot leaning against his van smoking. You notice some blood on his rings and a few cuts on his hand. He must have gotten into a fight. He always did that. Not fight much but definitely gave people an earful. But this was the first time he hit anyone. That night you helped him clean his rings and wounds until it was too late to go home. Uncle Wayne was off that night so sleeping on the couch was out of the question. But Eddie's bed wasn't a better option. He had a twin bed. There was no way you both could fit on it. But you did try. Eddie noticed you were uncomfortable and made the decision to sleep on the floor next to you. You told him that you didn't want to take his bed from him but he wasn't having it. You woke up the next morning with Eddies face incredibly close. He looked so serene. Beautiful.

The next time you stayed Eddie had a bigger bed. You figured the floor must have really felt like shit for him to go out and get another bed. Eddie would never tell you he got it because he wanted to sleep next to you.

-

As you listen to Eddie play his guitar, you watched his hair get caught in one of the strings. You helped him untangle it and help put up his hair in a messy bun. You smiled at your work as you sat in a chair on the corner of your room that was mostly meant for jackets or unfolded laundry. It was getting late and Eddie was going to go but you asked for him to stay. He had never stayed the night in your room. Always either with Dustin or the couch.

"What about Mrs Henderson?"

"Please she knows we're are just friends." You said while heading to your dresser. You grabbed a long shirt and an old pair of P.E shorts. Normally you wouldn't wear bottoms but when you were with Eddie you did.

"I'll be right back." You left to find something for Eddie to wear. Pulling out a pair of pajamas bottoms and a shirt from Dustin draws. You watched as Dustin was in tranced by talking to his girlfriend Suzy.

" Here hopefully they fit." You handed the clothes to Eddie before Turing back to your clothes. You pulled off your shirt with your back towards Eddie. Pulling on the long shirt. You reached to take off your bra and tossed on your chair. Unbutton your pants taking them off and pulled on the the shorts. You always changed in front of Eddie never thinking anything of it. You turned and saw Eddie avert his gaze.

" Umm I'm gonna go to the bathroom." He announced.

You nodded as he practically ran to the restroom. You got under the covers. You lit a small black candle and said a chant to help repel your power. Blowing out the candle it relight itself. Fuck you were really out of it tonight. You put the candle in it's holder when Eddie came back in. The pajamas bottoms were high waters on him and he didn't have a shirt on. Guess it didn't fit. Your eyes ran over his chest and saw a medium size Celtic shield knot on his right shoulder. You remember when you convinced him to get it. It was his protection sigil from you. You never knew if you could complete control yourself but you knew you didn't want to hurt him. So that was the only thing you thought of without Eddie getting suspicious.

You gave Eddie a forced smile and turned your back to him to sleep. You felt Eddie get comfortable next to you. You heard him blow out the candle covering your room in complete darkness. You said a silent prayer for the candle to stay off and it did.

" G'night loser."

You smirked "Night fucker."

...

The next day you were at lunch listening to Dustin's trying to explain to Eddie how they need to postpone the cult of Vecna. You weren't really interested in D&D. It hit a little close to home. So that night you just went home.

The morning Dustin woke you telling you what happened to Eddie and Chrissy. And that he was missing. You knew exactly where he would be. When you and the others finally found him he was scared shitless. He was in trouble and you didn't know what to do. While he laid low you brought him food and clothes.

" Eddie are you ok?" You said over the phone.

"Yeah think someone is coming. I gotta go."

Eddie hung up the phone and you went to find Dustin. He was with Eddie at skull rock later that day. You hugged Eddie so tight when you found that he was safe. Holding his hand you heard something about a gate. And went with the others to lovers lake. You watched as the boat holding Nancy, Steve, Robin and Eddie. You stood back because you didn't want too much weight on the small boat.

You cleared your thoughts watching the boat fade into the distance.

"Elements of sun, Elements of day. Please come this way. Powers of night and day I summon thee, I call upon thee. To protect them! So mote it be!" You recited 3 times while the kids watched you. You felt a gust of wind pass you towards the lake. You were pacing. The only sounds that filled the night air were crickets and the rubbing of your thighs. You had a thought that you could never sneak up on anyone with your thighs rubbing so loud.

It was only a few minutes when Dustin said Steve came back up. But not even a minute later something pulled him back in. You pulled the binoculars away to watch as Nancy dove in after him. With Robin following.

"Eddie don't." You mumbled. And watched in horror as Eddie looked over to your direction just before he fell in.

It was about 2 minute before you felt the gust of wind return to you. They were unprotected. You had to go help. You looked back at Dustin saying I love you. Then turned back to the lake.

" Oh, Angels, give me the power to fly and fly" You said and wind lifted you carrying you to the boat. "Earth pull me down and guided me to my love ones."

You held your breath as you dropped into the water. You were pulled thru the water to a big red crack. You made it to the surface. Hearing screams and grunting.

"Oh, Angels, give me power to fly and fly" you repeated. You were lifted from the water and taken to the fight. " Make earth pulled me down." You landed on your feet weighed down by the water in your clothes. You saw Steve all bloody and everyone fight these winged creatures. But they were being overwhelmed. You heard Eddie scream your name but you ignored him.

"Ignes dissipare et Vallum" you yelled at the top of your lungs. Everyone turned to you as flames started to surround you. A tornado of fire spun furiously around you. Closing your eyes you channeled the heat towards the animals. Screeching and thudding filled all of your ears as they burned.

You felt completely drained after that you fell to your knees. You never used that much power. You let it take over you. When you looked up you were met with big brown eyes and frizzy curls.

"Y/n? What-"

You were breathing heavily. " I umm I'm sorry. I had to save you..."

Eddie pulled up your chin giving you a kiss on the cheek. He helped you to your feet. Everyone was looking at you. You could tell they were a bit frightened.

" I uhhh I'm a carline." You muttered exhaustedly.

" What is that?" Nancy asked

" A witch."

" A sorcerer?" Eddie sounded confused.

" Kinda" you replied

"What the hell!?" Steve and Robin said in Sync.

"I umm yeah I don't know what to say." You looked towards the ground. When you heard Steve whimpering. You moved to him but he stepped back. " Please...I can help."

Steve looked at you confused but mostly afraid.

" I'm not gonna hurt you. I just want to help."

Steve nodded and you held your hands ghosting over his wounds.

"Y/n?" Eddie said softly but you ignored him again. You needed to focus.

"By earth and air, by fire and water. So shall you hear my call. Powers of birth and rebirth, powers of silence and peace, Heal thy body and mind."

You said this 3 times when you opened your eyes you saw the blood flow back to the wounds and heal closed. Steve's eyes watched in disbelief. You felt your body tremble. You couldn't stay awake anymore. And when you woke you were in Eddie's trailer. Eddie was sitting next to you on the floor holding your hand.

"He loser. Thought we lost you."

You grunted trying to sit up with Eddies help. You were freezing and dirty. You just wanted to go home.

...

You got off the phone after talking to Dustin. He was safe at the Wheelers. You found a note on the fridge that Mrs Henderson was at the casino for a few days. So it was just you and Eddie in the home. You went to your room with Eddie staring at you. You explained that you were gonna shower and he could have next.

Your hands were trembling as you did your best trying to wash of the scum. You heard a knock. Eddie asked if you were ok because you were in there for an hour. You came out wrapped in a towel and met Eddie in your room. The silence was more than awkward.

" So uhhh this whole time you uhh could do that" Eddie finally broke the tension. You nodded as you sat next to him on the bed.

" It why I need to stay as calm as possible. I can't fully control it."

A few seconds of quiet filled the room.

"It's why I suggested the tattoo." You pointed at Eddie's shoulder. " To protect you from me."

Eddie shifted a little. " You won't hurt me y/n."

"You don't know that."

Eddie turned to you and pushed your hair behind your shoulder. He placed a soft kiss on your hand.

" Thank you for saving us. Uhh for saving me."

You gave him a small smile but that was quickly gone when Eddie pressed his lips to yours. You hesitate for a second before pushing him away.

You stood up gripping your towel. " Uh what was that?"

Eddie sighed and his knee started to bounce.

"Eddie?"

" I-i like you. I mean I have feelings for you."

Your eyes widen at his words. Wait what?

"Uhh.... we're friends Eddie." You didn't know what else to say.

" Yeah I know. But since I saw you on the swing when you were in 6th grade I've liked you."

Eddie got up and came towards you but you held up your hand and Eddie froze. You kept him from moving closer.

" Eddie no. I can't. We can't." You let go of him.

"Why?"

"It's not in the cards for me. Don't do this. I need you. But as my friend. Nothing more ok."

Eddie was obviously frustrated but he didn't press you. He never did, on anything. That's why you loved him. He left to shower as you got dressed and went to bed. In the morning you found him on the couch. Needless to say it was awkward as fuck but you both tried to act like nothing happened.

...

The time came for the plan Nancy came up with to destroy Vecna. With your powers they knew to have you as back up. So before you left Eddie and Dustin in the upsidedown you looked back at Eddie and went to him. You pulled off his necklace and put a clear quartz crystal next to his pic.

You repeated your protection spell while touching the crystal.

" Please don't do anything stupid Eddie. I can't protect you if I'm not here."

"y/n I lov-"

"Don't." You cut him off and left.

...

Killing Vecna was a battle especially the tentacles but you managed to hold them off for the others to complete their mission.

You guys made your way back to Eddie and Dustin when you saw Eddie on the ground.

No you stupid fuck! You ran to Eddie. He was gone. Blood had started to dry.

" No Eddie. No! Fucking stupid." You cried holding him. You look at Dustin who was in shambles. He was holding Eddie's necklace.

"He took it off. Why would you take it off?!" You screamed at Eddie's lifeless body. Hitting him on his chest. Dustin's sobs filled your ears.

"No. You don't get to leave me. You hear me fucker! You don't get to go. I love you..."

You closed your eyes and prayed for silence. And it came. You held Eddie and took the crystal away from Dustin

" Sorem est...Sorem est....SOREM EST!" You said over and over again until you had nothing left. You fell over Eddie still mumbling the incantation. When you felt something leave you. It felt like the life was being pulled from you. Your body shook and kept shaking until the feeling stopped.

Breathing heavily you heard the best thing you could ever hear.

"Hey loser" Eddies strained voice filled your ear holes.

@b-irock @potatos-library

[fairycosmos]

Can I get your opinion on my cat Stanley? He died a week ago I think, not even a year old. It really traumatized me bc my other cat died almost a year ago and I don't know what I did to deserve it of either of them. Stanley was named that bc he loved drinking water from a faucet and it reminded my siblings of the movie Holes, the scene where Mr Sir is like "Thirsty, Stanley?"

I really do miss my boy so much and I don't think I've been able to say much about him bc i distanced myself, as it took me 2 weeks of non-stop hardcore crying and being unable to breathe for me to somewhat accept my cat's death last year, so this one was even more of a struggle.

The main thing stops me from grieving too much is that Stanley was literally fearless. He should've been like a normal cat, afraid of cars, but he wasn't so I can't get mad at him for not being here anymore. I know he loved me bc the day before he died, he must've known something was gonna happen bc he jumped up next to me on the bed, came up to me, sat in my lap, kissed my face, let me kiss his head, purr, and not leave me alone for a while before he went to my little sister and did the same with her. 🥺

I'm not trying to make this sad or anything, just wanted to ask what you'd think of him, given my description of him?

-Lyle

ohhh lyle i am so so sorry that you are going through this right now :( the pain of losing a pet is so real and so awful. he looks like such a wonderful, well-loved and well cared for little angel. i especially love his eyes and the pattern of his coat - what a sweet little love. and what a great name, too. unfortunately i think during grief our minds try to make sense of the mourning by turning to familiar concepts such as self-blame, or pondering questions without an answer as a distraction or a way to make it all seem clearer - i.e, what did i do to deserve this? the answer is nothing. the answer is horrible things happen without reason to lovely people and lovely animals all the time, and it is horrifically unfair. it is very clear just from this message alone that he loved you just as much as you loved him, that you guys had a really special bond that can never be taken back or lost fully. the reaction you're having, the crying and the grieving and the depth of the hurt, is completely understandable. esp when the death is so sudden and unexpected - it takes time to move through these emotions. the coping mechanism of distancing yourself from talking about him and your other cat is very common, and i think it's a good sign that you're able to share him with me and recognize all the love that exists between you two. i hope you have good people around you who you can begin to open up to about this - maybe your sister, who clearly cared for stanley like you did. honestly, if the mourning continues to be hard to deal with, i would even consider talking to a counsellor about if i were you. just to have someone to unload all these feelings and verbalize what you're going through. i know that's a big and complicated step, but it's ok to need help dealing with this sort of thing for real. mostly i hope you're able to find ways to remember him and honour his life as yours goes on, even just by remembering him as he was - adorable and deeply appreciated. if you ever wanna talk about him, share stories or more about his personality or pics when you're ready, i would love to hear it. i hope he can rest in peace, poor little guy. :( sending you a massive hug. x

[starglow-xx]

(About the brother!atsushi) aRE YOU READING MY MIND MISS?! Because that has been on my mind for MONTHS. TYSM For writing it was amazing!! If you don't mind, may I request (if requests are open) atsushi, still an older brother, but with a sister that's 10-13 yrs old? It's totally fine if you don't wanna do it. Keep up the good stories, ily mwuah!

*sobs* you’re so kind thank youu 🤧🤧

i wrote this a bit differently i hope that’s okay anon! at first i planned for this to be mainly abt atsushi and the reader, but i decided to add in relationship hcs with the agency bc i ran out of ideas

if you guys liked this don’t worry! im planning a special part two for this one so be the look out for it hehe

atsushi with a tween! sister

ft. the armed detective agency

like in my baby sister hcs, you’re still the most important thing to him period

the two of you got picked up by dazai and kunikida when he was 18 (obviously) and when you were 12

for a 12 year old, you were a bit small bc of malnourishment (which makes atsushi feel so bad) so both dazai and kunikida thought you were a bit younger than you actually were

they assumed you were about 9-10ish

you and atsushi both share a favorite food !! chazuke :)

so when kunikida treated the two of you, he made sure you got more bowls bc like i mentioned above, he feels really bad that you were malnourished and under weight

(don’t bring this up but kunikida felt bad too hehe)

when dazai went with your brother to the warehouse, you were with kunikida

imagine the surprise of the other ada members when kunikida came in with a little girl dressed in rags that popped out from behind him

kenji was the one who vocalized his thoughts 

“kunikida-san you have a daughter?! wow! i didn’t know that! :D”

when you found out your brother was a tiger, you were a bit concerned but you were actually kind of excited

you were even more excited when you found out the two of you were going to be taken in by the agency

anything was better than the stupid orphanage

and besides!

you got a tiger for an older brother and a bunch of other super powered agents to take care of you! who could want anything else?

at your age, you’re very impressionable and can be influenced easily so atsushi makes sure to teach you more in depth of good morals and the importance of kindness

his heart swells with pride and relief when he catches you being kind to others

pride bc he’s proud that even after all the two of you have gone through, you still ended up being a good kid and having a bright view of the world

and relief bc he hasn’t failed as a big brother

pfftt like he could ever fail

but please, from time to time reassure him that he’s perfect and the only big brother that you’d ever want bc he rlly needs that kind of validation

with his salary and savings, he tries to buy nice things for you

what a sweetheart 🥺

he saw you eyeing that one dress at a store window? fast forward abt a week and half and it’s inside a pretty gift bag for you

you wanted to try that dessert from the nice bakery? that’s dessert after dinner at one point

but other than buying you things, he sets money aside for you

like all the time

(y/n), here have this, you might need it”

“but nii-san you just gave me—”

“take it”

#1 spoiler

also your #1 confidant and source of physical affection

you tell him anything and everything (except crushies and those kinds of things)

atsushi loves it when you talk abt your day and he can see the big smile on your face and the sparkle in your eyes

it gives him the strength to keep going 😖😖

the two of you aren’t as touch starved as you’d probably think, but that’s only bc the two of you had each other

in your opinion, no one can match the hugs of your big brother

and it got even better bc YAYY he has tiger arms now ٩(◕‿◕)۶

if you ask, he’d carry you around too hehe

you also get nightmares quite often so he’ll always be there ready to calm you down, talk if you need to, and rock you back to sleep

god i love him 🤧🤧

atsushi will do everything in his power to protect you and make sure you get to grow up happy, supported, and loved

port mafia attack? oop he’s already taking you to the nearest escape route

someone is starting to harass you? they just got suckered punched into the next week

you want to go out to have some fun? he’ll go ask the president for a day off

you’re not feeling well? he’ll take another day off and take care of you

whatever you want to do, he’ll do it with you! (as long as it’s within reason)

will always be your #1 supporter! and he’s the president of your fan club hehe

he loves you so so much and will do anything for you; your life and happiness will always be more important to him

you are his reason to keep going

agency head canons !!

atsushi is your big brother, but kunikida is most definitely some sort of father figure

everyone can see it

except kunikida of course

kunikida scolds you lightly if he thinks your manners need work or if you make a mess in the agency

you listen to him of course and in turn as some sort of a reward, he’ll give you pieces of stationary

he always gives you the nice, good quality kind and you’re over the moon

atsushi adores it when you come running to him showing your new notebook or fountain pen and blabbering what you’re going to do with it

sometimes it isn’t even as a reward for being a good child; he’ll just give it to you and he’ll say smth like “i noticed you’ve used up your last notebook quite quickly, so here’s another one” or “did you run out of ink? here have this then”

he usually has a soft spot for children in general, but he most definitely has a soft spot (or a thousand) for you

yosano is kind of like a motherly figure to you

she gives you the guidance a mother should and goes on shopping trips with you!

atsushi always gets dragged along by you, but he thinks it’s worth it seeing you look so happy

yosano being a doctor also tries to teach the things you should know, or things that would be helpful to you

she’ll teach you the basics of cooking, sewing, how to treat a cold/fever, etc

also gives you excellent advice 1000% of the time

“remember (y/n)-chan if someone hurts you come tell me and then i’ll chop them into—”

“yOSANO-SENSEI DONT TELL HER THAT—”

fukuzawa is like a father to most in the agency but you see him more as a grandfather figure

bi weekly tea and gossip sessions hehe

along with cat talk!

most of the time though, it’s just you talking and him listening to you, but the two of you enjoy it nonetheless

“and then kunikida-san ended up crashing into a pole and dazai-san started to laugh at him and i did too because it was really funny but we ended up getting scolded—”

“hmm i see...”

he’ll let you stay in his office as he fills out paperwork; you’re usually doodling or drawing in your notebooks

sometimes he’ll meditate and you’ll join him, but 4/7 times you’d fall asleep

you always wake up with a blanket over you

dazai is like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

frequently takes you out with him when he ditches work

walks in the park, eating at uzumaki so he has the excuse of treating you so he doesn’t have to pay his tab avoiding kunikida and sometimes chuuya and akutagawa, all that fun stuff

also tries to not talk abt suicide in front of you especially if it’s just the two of you alone

he knows that you mean the world to his pupil and that said pupil would probably hate him for putting suicide inside your brain

he teaches you random but useful things like how to pick a lock, how to steal kunikida’s notebook if you’re looking for some information, how to sweet talk your way out of things, etc.

is also the one to tell you that if you ever get a significant other to introduce them to the agency first

he always wants all of your gossip; some of them work pretty well for blackmail

“dazai-san! dazai-san! did you know that kunikida-san lost his glasses and he was looking for them for nearly an hour when he was just holding them the entire time??”

“woah really (y/n)-chan?! hey hey can you say it again into this recording device so kunikida-kun would believe me when i tell him—”

always ends up giving kunikida a heart attack when he says that you’ve been with him all day

ranpo is also like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

will share some of his snacks, but don’t push it or you might not get anything at all

loves it when you compliment him

if you tagged along with him and your brother on a case, he will show off to impress you

“...and that’s how the crime happened”

“UWAHH RANPO-SAN YOU’RE SO COOL”

atsushi is lowkey and kunikida is highkey stressed that ranpo’s eating habits will rub off on you

“ne (y/n)-chan do you wanna try this highly caffeinated drink and this concerning amount of sugar filled snack?”

“can i really?!”

“rANPO-SAN NO—”

ranpo definitely does stuff like that on purpose 

the tanizakis are like siblings to you!

a weird set of siblings but siblings nonetheless

the two of them adore you and think you’re precious

atsushi definitely knows how to do your hair whether it’s long or short but he got even better at it when he asked the two

hehe braid trains are definitely a thing + kyouka and kenji (and maybe even dazai)

sometimes you have sibling swap days

you’re with junichiro for most of the day and atsushi is with naomi

strange i know

each of the tanizaki siblings try to make it fun bc they know that the two of you did not at all have a happy upbringing

junichiro likes spending time with you by taking you out to different places that naomi likes to frequent

like the mall, different stores and restaurants, the park, places like those

naomi does the same thing with atsushi so if you ever bump into them, you go out and eat together :)

besides atsushi, the next one in line who spoils you the most would be junichiro (and yosano & kunikida both coming in at a close third)

he honestly can’t help it; you remind him of how naomi was when she was younger

and besides

he’s always been a sucker when it came to the happiness of a little sister

“would you really buy this for me junichiro-san?!”

“of course! don’t worry about it” :)

wanna talk abt boys/girls/celebrity crushes things like that? naomi is your girl

you feel a bit embarrassed to go talking to yosano or your brother abt that and kyouka does not know a thing abt them either

“uwahh naomi-san look at all these people in this magazine! they look so good!”

“right?! but of course onii-sama is still the best—”

you get along with kenji and kyouka quite nicely being roughly the same age as them; they’re also like siblings!

just pure, wholesome vibes from the three of you

you’re over the moon when she finds out that kyouka is staying with you and your brother

atsushi is twice as happy seeing you talk your mouth off and finally having a girl around your age to talk to

“do you think demon snow can change how she looks?”

“hmm... im not sure...”

you and kenji talk abt anything and everything

he even teaches you how to take care of plants!

sometimes the two of you are kind of in the same boat bc you don’t know much abt yokohoma being stuck in the orphanage and kenji doesn’t know much abt cities in general

“wait where are we again kenji-san?”

“ah we’re close to the ports! but im not really sure how close because i don’t know what the symbols on this sign mean”

“don’t worry! neither do i!”

bonus things!

yosano was kind of too late teaching you abt you know what

“NII-SAN IM BLEEDING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS”

you’re sobbing in the agency’s bathroom and atsushi is panicking trying to get you to open the door

“Y/N?! H-HOLD ON LET ME GET YOSANO SENSEI”

ranpo overhears and cackles making everyone around him confused

suddenly atsushi bursts in the agency basically on the verge of tears rambling incoherent sentences abt the bathroom, you, and blood

it just clicked for everybody in the room

(im going to pretend that kenji has sisters back home so that atsushi is the only one who remain oblivious here hehe)

atsushi is genuinely confused and sort of concerned that no one is freaking out with him

yosano waves her hand saying smth like that she’d take care of it and junichiro pulls atsushi to the side to talk to him

fast forward like half and hour and dazai and ranpo are cackling on the looks of both of your faces

honestly not sure who’s more traumatized, you or your brother

“why does this have to happen” :(

“ne ne (y/n)-chan!~ you’re too young but at some point you’re not going to have it!”

“uwahh really dazai-san?” :D

“yeah! but first you have to have ANFK—”

next thing you know your ears are being covered by your brother and dazai is thrown across the room by kunikida

you know

the normal

you’re twelve and have never gone to school, but the agency takes care of that

it’s too dangerous to go to school so they teach you what’s necessary and whatever else they can

kunikida takes care of math (obviously)

yosano takes care of science/biology/anatomy/health (whatever you wanna call it)

ranpo even dragged poe to help you with english

atsushi even got lucy to help you out with english too!

as tanizaki and naomi used to be students, they give you their old work books and they try to teach you all the other subjects

sometimes kyouka and kenji are there learing with you too!

sorry if there’s some errors! i’ll read through it again later :)

and as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

[uwuwriting]

Zoom meetings with the kids w/ Kuroo, Akaashi and Sakusa

Request: I have been stuck inside the house with my three year old brother for the last three weeks and he keeps coming inside my room and entering the zoom call with me. So that had me thinking. How would our favorite Haikyuu dads Kuroo, Akaashi, maybe Kenma or Sakusa react to their toddlers coming into their room and joining their meeting. - anonymous. 

Awww I love haikyuu dads!!!! I have begun making the smau and I’m already like 3 chapters in but I won’t start posting until I’ve finished it or I’m about to finish it. I wanna be sure that I’ll have a trustworthy upload schedule lmao bc my midterms are coming up next week and I’m dying. Love ya. 💖💖💖

masterlist

rules

warning: fluff

Kuroo Tetsuro

-He was in a meeting with the firm for the past three hours. 

-He was absolutely exhausted and the only thing he wanted was to take a nap with his two year old daughter. 

-You were still at the hospital, your shift finishing in about two hours so he was basically alone.

-Your daughter was playing with her toys in his office, being as quiet as she could but exhaustion started to win her over little by little. 

-Yawn after yawn left her lips but since the sound was so small and barely above a whisper, Kuroo hadn’t realized that his little princess was tired. 

-Standing up with wobbly legs she grabbed her cat blankie and rubbed her eyes as she slowly made her way to her father. 

-With one arm hugging her blankie and the other wrapping around Kuroo’s leg, she rested her head on his leg and slowly sank down to the floor, not tugging at his pyjama leg as he expected. 

-Looking down at her he didn’t think twice before bending over and bringing her into his lap. 

-She let out a small sigh before she clutched his shirt in her small fists and was off to dreamland in record time. 

- “Kuroo-san what do you think?” 

- “Sorry my daughter distracted me.”

-And with that he went back to his meeting. 

-Throughout the rest of the meeting Kuroo rested a hand on her back, cupping her little head lightly rubbing soothing circles on her skull, staring down at her every now and then a smile adorning his features every time he saw her nuzzling into his chest.

-She was a female version of him now that he thinks of it.

-She had his crazy raven hair and stunning amber eyes while her face structure reminded him of both you and him. 

-Her personality though was all you. 

-He knew she was very young but she reminded him of you when you two first met more and more each day.

-Right at that moment she let out a small yawn again, her eyes opening slightly as she repositioned herself on his lap and went back to sleep. 

-He couldn’t love her more, at least that’s what he believed. 

-Each day she proved him wrong. 

-Saying goodbye to his coworkers he shut off his computer and went to the living room couch, laying down with his little girl in his arms. 

-Giving her one last kiss he fell asleep, a smile still present on his features. 

Akaashi Keiji 

- “The author said that those new chapters need to be edited by the end of the month. He will send you the rest when you are done with these.” 

-His eyes were bloodshot from the endless hours he had been staring at his screen. 

-Rubbing his eyes he answered every single question that was thrown at him, wishing that this one would be the last one. 

-But the universe wouldn’t have it that way for poor Akaashi making him stay up late again. 

-Thunder rumbled from outside and he wondered whether or not you had taken your son to bed with you. 

-The four year old boy was terrified of storms from a young age, always looking for comfort in either you or Akaashi. 

-But ever since his sister was born he pulled away from you two, he didn’t ask for help anymore even when he needed it and he didn’t wake you up during the night when he had a nightmare.

-Akaashi was amazed to say the least. 

-Neither of you had said anything to him about how your attention would mostly be on the baby and you guys had never dismissed his needs because of your little girl. 

-It worried him how fast his son closed in on himself. 

-He was already a shy and quiet kid but now you barely heard his voice and it broke both of your hearts. 

-Akaashi was determined to help him get out of this phase and be by his side but this assignment took up more of his time than he would’ve liked. 

-Light danced across the room as the door slightly opened but no one stepped in. 

-Keiji was about to stand up when he heard little sniffles and the light pitter patter of feet on the carpet of his office. 

-And soon enough his son rounded the corner of his desk, one arm wiping away tears as the other clutched the stuffed owl his uncle Bokuto had bought him. 

-Without losing a beat Keiji pushed his chair back and brought him in his lap, giving a small apology to his boss before momentarily turning off both camera and mic. 

- “I’m sowwy.” 

- “Shh I’m here, nothing’s gonna hurt you.” 

-Giving him a kiss on each cheek Akaashi let him snuggle in his chest, a strong arm supporting the toddler while simultaneously making him feel safe and protected. 

- “Sir, I’m sorry to interrupt but could we end it here? My son had a nightmare and I want to calm him down.” 

- “Of course Akaashi-san, give my regards to the little man. Goodnight.” 

-And with that the meeting was over and Akaashi was left with a crying child in his arms. 

- “Hey hey, I told you that nothing’s going to hurt you while I’m here. Why don’t we go sleep with mommy hm?” 

- “I’m sowwy…”

-Akaashi kissed his head again bringing him into a tight hug as he got up from his seat. 

- “There is nothing to be sorry for now come on, mommy would want cuddles.” 

 Sakusa Kiyoomi

- “If we use the new quick that Atsumu and Hinata have been practicing then we would have the upper hand momentarily.”

-Kiyoomi let out a sigh as the meeting he had with the team would not seem to end. 

-They had been discussing tactics for the last hour and a half while the rest of the time they had been informed of the new managers they had been assigned. 

-Kiyoomi never expected to be in a zoom call while being an athlete.

-He thought that it would be useless. 

-What were they even gonna do while in the meeting? Practice? 

-But he was proven wrong once the coach called the first meeting and now Sakusa was ready to pull his hair out. 

-Thankfully he was just laying in bed so at least he was comfortable. 

-You had gone out for some much needed grocery shopping leaving Kiyoomi with his son, not wanting to take your child outside with the virus contaminating people left and right. 

-Sakusa loved spending time with his son. 

-He was a low maintenance child, just like he was when he was young, adopting the same hygiene patterns as his father even at the early age of two. 

-He had just started talking and you wouldn't stop having conversations with him, the baby only uttering a simply “dada” or “momma” or even maybe a “yes” or “no” if you were lucky. 

-It made you happy though, seeing your son slowly becoming more independent. 

-Sakusa was also happy but he was also reminded that he wouldn’t stay this young forever; before he knew it his son would be off to high school or college and he wouldn’t fit in his arms anymore. 

-Lost in thought Kiyoomi hadn’t seen the toddler make his way into the room until he felt the covers being pulled as he attempted to get on the bed *and failed bc he’s just too short*

-Letting out a chuckle Sakusa pushed his laptop to the side and leaned down to grab his son, who was now pouting an expression that was a little too similar to yours. 

- “Is that mini Sakusa I see?” 

-Kiyoomi ignored Atsumu as he settled his son on his lap letting the baby wave at the camera as his “uncles” waved back. 

- “Do you mind if he joins?” 

- “Of course not, every Sakusa is welcome.”

-Giving his son one last kiss on his head, Kiyoomi went back to listening to the boring tactics letting his son play with his fingers in the process. 

-Okay maybe it wasn’t that bad now 

TAG TEAM AY:

@the-arcana-fan-fic @angelwritings @axerrri @reinyrei @dnarez @dark-thoughts-and-red-roses @threeamwriting @letscheereachotheron​ @ezoyscorner​ @storage11037​ @wolfkid22

[perplexingluciddreams]

this question was really hard to put into words, so if you need clarification just let me know (like it took days to weeks for my brain to form the words 🧐frustrating)

what would you say are things that you appreciate about the way your family/parents responded and handled your regression (+continue too,) would you or them have advice for parents/guardians of their kids (not only children, just as their spawn) maybe what advice would you or them give to other parents/guardians

this might be pretty personal, so if you prefer not to answer don’t worry :D

just wondering, bc my parents are confused (me too lmao) as too how to handle regression of speech and daily living skills.

also ableism hurts. don’t like being compared to an animal whether is was a ‘joke’ or not. (except maybe for cats. me being a cat is my end goal in life /j but also /hj)

-🍋

It’s very hard to put things into words, I understand. I’ve recently felt this a lot (which is also why it’s taken me a few days to answer this). I had to think about how to write it.

This is a difficult question to answer because as much as my parents are fantastic now, there were a lot of things in the past that were not so great. I don’t place blame on them, but I really struggled for a really long time, and a lot of the support I have now is something I needed much sooner. Unfortunately I was unable to communicate that to them until I got access to AAC (and even now it takes so much work for me to communicate- this tumblr is how I tell my mum a lot of things as I’m able to take my time to write and “borrow” words from others- and how I write on here is not an accurate representation of my communication in daily life).

Right now I am at the point where I have lost so many skills and abilities, that it is impossible for them not to notice it. I need so much care and help with basically everything. But I struggled for years and years as a child and that was never really noticed. So it took me getting to a certain level of inability to even be able to begin expressing what was happening to me (which is especially difficult when you yourself do not understand what’s going on).

(Also I should mention somewhere in here that my physical health plays a big part too, and a lot of the autistic catatonia symptoms I have were assumed to be due to that for some time).

I had a conversation over text with my mum about this ask to help me answer it. These are some things she said: “I think sometimes it is hard to see the wood for the trees. A lot of you just being generally quiet/introverted was seen as that and not communication issues. If I could have identified it I would have done everything in my power to change it. I never could have imagined that you couldn’t tell me.”

What she said when I asked about advice for other parents is this: “It is hard for me to comment other than make others aware that whether someone is speaking or non speaking they may not be able to tell you what they desperately want you to know. I never knew that could be a possibility and so my thinking never included that as a possibility.”

I’m so grateful for my parents and how much they help me now but I won’t pretend it has all been “smooth sailing”. It has been very difficult. The thing I appreciate most is their willingness to listen and learn from me, even though a lot of the things I am able to communicate now go completely against what they thought to be true when I was a child.

I hope I answered this okay, I have been struggling a lot with words and communication and articulating all my feelings about this was hard. If you want me to answer in a more specific way (like what specific things my parents do and say when I am “frozen”, or what things I get help with throughout the day, how they respond to my tics, etc., I can do that too, but I might need more time).

Hopefully this is what you meant :) is the end part something I said or just unrelated? Sorry if I said something wrong. I like cats too but animals make me anxious.

[kae-karo]

thomato/tomokazu brainrot

i'm living in the 'ayato is tomo' world where ayato ran from home due to the vision hunt decree and thoma/ayaka knew about him disappearing, tried to keep it under wraps, etc

thoma always loved ayato and hated when he started talking abt leaving, bc it went from 'vision hunt decree bad' to 'i literally can't do anything and i can't live like this' and he left thoma and thoma felt betrayed

ayato (changed his name to tomo) met kazuha, they traveled together for a while. tomokazu brainrot ensues. but then tomo got fed up with the vision hunt decree (kept him up at night that it was still going on) and finally went to challenge baal. didn't die, bc she recognized him, as did sara, but he almost did. kazuha took his vision, which seemed to die out bc he ran away with it.

but ayato recovered (as ayato) and forgot his ambitions and his hurt about the decree, which thoma is conflicted over - on the one hand, he has his ayato back. on the other, both he and ayaka know what happened, and ayato is still...different. he looks to thoma for comfort, but mumbles a name - something like 'kazuha' - in his sleep. when he sleeps, which isn't often enough for thoma's concerns.

one day, thoma finds ayato sitting in front of a mirror with his hair tied up in a high ponytail, just staring at his reflection. frowning. he notices thoma, tries to smile but it doesn't quite meet his eyes. 'just messing around', he says with a forced laugh, and thoma's stomach turns. that's how he'd turned up to fight baal, with his hair like that. that's how thoma almost lost him, permanently. he laughs louder, comes to ayato's side and pulls the ribbon from his hair. lets it fall, then ties it like his own, and it falls in an elegant wave down his back. this is his ayato, thoma reminds himself, but it isn't.

after a while, he asks. do you remember where you were? ayato doesn't. lots of shrugs, but his gaze goes distant, and he excuses himself from thoma's presence. thoma doesn't follow him, not at first, but when he finally does, he finds ayato sitting beneath a tree, some stray cat he's coaxed onto the estate grounds curled up in his lap. his hair tied up high on his head. this long, it looks more like ayaka's, but he'd cut it shorter when he left. this long, it looks like he could be ayato again, but thoma knows that he isn't.

he looks for kazuha afterward, but finds little. not a family name, and for all he knows, a fake, but he doesn't give up. can't, when ayato asks him to help cut his hair - he's started wearing it up, though he jokes that he can't look just like ayaka or nobody will ever be able to tell them apart, so won't you help me, thoma? and thoma does, of course. he could never quite say no to ayato. has loved him for far too long to-

to want him to stay where he's unhappy, in a life and a time and a stasis and an eternity that he'd tried to escape. thoma understands it better, now, even if it hurts. when he sees kazuha, hears his name from gorou for the first time, thoma nearly breaks down. hand over his mouth, trying to hold back tears, he stalks over to kazuha. no recognition flashes in his eyes, though, and he wonders - hates that he wonders, but does all the same - if ayato ever spoke of him. if he ever missed thoma enough to mention him to someone else so obviously precious to him.

ayato, he says when he manages to lower his hand, and kazuha stares. blinks. then recognition dawns, bright and hot, and his eyes go wide with the sharp breath he inhales. tears spring to his eyes then, too, and thoma doesn't know how to handle that. but they stand in the middle of the resistance camp and thoma's two seconds from losing his composure as well, so he tips his head toward the trees and kazuha follows

it's painful, telling him. harder than he thought it'd be, but thoma understands that pain all the same - he's felt it, too. kazuha takes it all in silence, tears gleaming but yet unfallen, and thoma doesn't know what to say when he asks if ayato remembers him. how to say yes, he does and he doesn't, he calls your name in his sleep and doesn't remember it in the morning. how to tell him who thoma wants ayato to be, who he was before, and not who he was with kazuha. thoma isn't a bad person, but he feels insanely selfish right now, as though he's waving his ayato in kazuha's face.

kazuha kept his vision, though. kept it, hoped without hoping, and thoma's stomach twists. guilt, guilt more than anything - he doesn't want to lose ayato again. how can he lose ayato again, how can he give his ayato away? will returning the vision restore his memories, too? kazuha asks, and thoma wants to say it won't. he wants to protect ayato and protect himself, because what if ayato does remember? what if he loves kazuha more than he ever loved thoma? he certainly can't have loved thoma more, or he'd have returned, right?

but thoma isn't even certain this is his ayato. he is, sometimes, and thoma wants that, but...but it hurts, to see the distance in ayato's stare, the sleepless nights where he wanders in the forest, where thoma follows him from afar. where he does nothing but walk though the evening, until he turns around and thoma rushes back so that he can pretend he hadn't been watching out for ayato. even though ayato's skill with a blade has only improved, though he can't remember how or why. it takes only one minute of watching kazuha spar with another resistance member for thoma to determine who he'd learned from.

there is a pain in letting go. there is a pain in holding on. and thoma can't do either one - he loves ayato too deeply to be selfish.

i don't know if he'll remember, but we should find out, shouldn't we?

it's easier than he expected, traveling with another wanted individual, and kazuha knows too well the burdens of keeping himself hidden. thoma understands a part of it, too, but kazuha is nothing short of incredible at it. it's no wonder ayato stuck around, you're a natural at this, he'd said, on a better day, when the sun shone and kazuha had kept them deftly clear of any shogunate army patrols. the wrong words, he'd realized a little too late. kazuha only nodded, a sharp thing for his typically gentle demeanor, and thoma did not know what to do with that. couldn't get more than a few words out of him the rest of the day.

he loved you too, thoma thinks in kazuha's direction. he doesn't know how to say it, though, because it isn't his place to say. but if not his, then whose? ayato doesn't remember. and it hurts, to see kazuha hurt in the same way that thoma did. he's certainly not a weak spirit, thoma's come to find, but he is a gentle one. kind and a bit mischievous when he wants to be, and thoma can see it, why ayato would fall for him. two of a kind in such different ways. had ayato found comfort with kazuha? adventure? something else, something he'd been searching for when he left? maybe thoma will never know. maybe the only one left to remember is kazuha.

what was he like? thoma asks one night around a dim fire, stirred to life on occasion by either he or kazuha. kazuha's gaze flicks up, and thoma does not need to clarify his question. excited. every little thing brought him such excitement. a thunderstorm, a clear day, a full moon. a small smile tugs at kazuha's lips, the first thoma has seen in days. it calms something within him - i will keep him safe, i will keep his heart safe for you, ayato. kazuha tells him of ayato- of tomo, the name he went by until his last day, until he left kazuha and went to face the raiden shogun herself. and thoma listens, and aches, and loves ever more fiercely. ayato was ayato, the pieces that kazuha saw are the pieces that thoma saw, if from a different angle. you are pretty short after all, thoma says with a grin, and kazuha blinks at him. there's a rush of wind, suddenly, and kazuha's hovering aloft several feet in the air, and thoma laughs louder than he has in well over a year. and kazuha floats down again, rests a little closer to thoma this time.

what was ayato like? kazuha asks in turn, and thoma knows that he does not refer to the time since he's returned. that is for...for later. a rascal, actually, i bet you two got along far too well, he says, and kazuha laughs then, and his head falls on thoma's shoulder, and it's late and dark and warm and thoma talks for as long as he can, every story he'd clung desperately to when ayato left him, and he shares them all with kazuha, who loved him too.

when they return, ayato waits for them at the teahouse. hold onto his vision, let me go in first? thoma asks, and kazuha nods. he wonders if kazuha wishes to put this off, too. how does it feel to have your heart ripped out, returned bloody and tattered, only to feel it torn from you again?

thoma, where have you been? he's crushed in a hug before he knows what to do, what to say, and tears prick his eyes. you had me worried sick! ayato pulls back, and thoma stares at him. sees him in a way he hasn't before - not his ayato. not the ghost of tomo. the two as one. he drags ayato back into a hug. i brought someone here to meet you, he says into ayato's ear, and when he turns, kazuha stands in the doorway. frozen, terrified. he must look to kazuha as he did before, if a bit more polished, and thoma wishes he could hear kazuha's thoughts.

he gets ayato's instead. who are you? not unkind, but curious. why...why am i crying? a laugh from ayato's lips, one that kazuha echoes before he clamps a hand over his mouth. the other holds his vision, ayato's vision, perhaps even his memories.

my name is kaedehara kazuha, i traveled with you for a time while you were running from the vision hunt decree. i knew you as tomo. the name carries such reverence, such love, and thoma turns back to find ayato's eyes wide. tears, as he said, leak from the corners, and thoma wonders again - did you love him more? do you still? how does it feel to lose one's heart?

kazuha... so quietly spoken. does he remember? it's hard to tell, with how he clings still to thoma. it's hard to hope, but he hopes all the same - he loves you, do you remember?

[everythingsinred]

003 natsume bc he is your boy

yes he is my boy lol <3

003

How I feel about this character: god i love him so much. i have so much affection for him. i see him and i smile bc hes just a little creecher, yknow? i love this kid who was forced to grow up too soon and struggles switching between mission life and school life, who has been viciously abused and lost hope in his life. he has put everyone else before himself every step of his life and doesnt know how to be selfish. missing 8 year old natsume who was free and untethered... he is quite genuinely a human version of a cat, im not even joking

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: just mikan. im a simple person lol

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: obviously with his bestie but also with other class b kids, with hotaru, with his family <3 i love him being loved and he rly truly is loved by so many people

My unpopular opinion about this character: idk if theres anything i can say that ive never said before. i like his bizarre sense of fashion ig. i think its a funny combination of emo/punk and popular kid/jock like hes so funny. wildcard...

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i wish he'd been more selfish. i think his ending was fitting. its tragic but dying for the sake of someone else is classic natsume. my issue with his end is that he was brought back for mikan's sake. his life once again only has value for what he brings to someone else. he should have value just because. his demise makes sense to me. ironically, its him being brought back (for a subpar reason) that rubs me the wrong way. he should have been taught the lesson that he should live for himself too and if he'd been saved by someone who actually loved HIM then maybe that wouldve happened. and he should have punched persona, as ive already said lol. maybe narumi too, just for good measure

Favorite friendship for this character: ruka/luca! yes 100% they are in fact the best fictional friendship of all time, no debate. they appreciate each other so well and thoroughly and know each other better than anybody and it means the whole world to me. ruka promises he's never gonna leave his side and that he could never regret following him and natsume would burn the world the second it dared to hurt his best friend. they hold hands and share earbuds but never hug for some reason and i just love them so much.

[kaylawritesfics]

Marvel: Fic Rec 1

A collection of marvel fics that I’ve recently read that I thought were really good!

march 28, 2021

| Avengers |

@ijustwant2write : That’s Just Wrong (Avengers x lesbian!reader)

‘coming out to the avengers as a lesbian who likes pineapple on pizza and they’re super taken back - not cos ur a lesbian but cos of ur pizza taste’

this one is a super cute coming out story i loved it so much

| Bucky Barnes |

@moteldwelling : good girl (bucky x fem!reader)

bucky and reader turn eachother on with pet names, and smut ensues. dirty talk, couch sex, praise kink. this sort of turned into dom!bucky idk it just happened LOL

@crispychrissy : Healing (1940s!bucky x nurse!reader)

Tasked with examining the injured soldiers that were liberated from the Hydra factory, one sergeant in particular gives you a run for your money.

this one is one of my favorites

@tuiccim : Almost Had Me Believing It (Series Masterlist) (bucky x reader)

An undercover operation playing Bucky Barnes’ wife is a dream come true. Playing house in the suburbs while trying to take down a drug ring brings you and Bucky closer but a nosy neighbor causes trouble in paradise.

this is one of my all time favorite bucky series

@imaginexmeintheuniverse : Dog Tags (bucky x reader)

For your Christmas drabbles, could you write Bucky gifting the reader his old dog tags?

@pinkettepoet : In Which She Knows That They Don’t Know (bucky x reader) (avengers x reader) part 2

could you write a buckyxreader/avengersxreader where they like all forget her bday bc there’s just been a lot of stuff going on so even though she’s kinda upset about it she doesn’t blame them and something happens and they all realize what day it is and they go all out to throw her a party and it’s just really fluffy and happy avengers family? Sorry it’s kinda long!

| Loki Laufeyson |

@angelkurenai : One Moment (Loki x reader)

You have found a way to undo the damage Thanos did and bring everyone you lost back, all of your loved ones or at least most of them. As you travel back in 2012, however, you run into someone who is far too familiar. Unable to let go, even after all these years, of the death of the man - or basically god - you loved so much you forget all about the mision and decide to have one more moment with the one who sacrificed his life to save yours out of love.

@beskar-tano : Just A Taste (Loki x reader)

On a brisk walk through Central Park, Loki tries earth’s hot chocolate for the very first time.

@obscure-imagines : Loki x Valkyrie!Reader

imagine: being a Valkyrie that Loki was always in love with and when you show up in Sakaar he’s really excited to see you again

loki fangirling over the valkyrie reader is my aesthetic

@gingerwritess : Loki x reader

I’ve got a question I’d love for you to answer, because I simply adore your characterization of Loki. What sort of nicknames do you think he’d call his s/o? Both the lovey-dovey ones and the playful mean ones

this is so soft i love it

@too-attached-to-fiction : A Night In The Gardens (Loki x reader)

#2: “It’s nearly midnight, what are you doing?”

@justeclipseblogs : Complicated (2012!loki x goddess!reader)

Based on Avengers (2012), where instead of Thor going after Loki - it’s Thor and his friend, Reader, who happens to be Loki’s… well, it’s complicated.

this is one of my favorite loki fics and i would love to see a part 2 to it

@yourfavouriterival : i will always love you; how i do (loki x reader)

@beskar-tano : Undying Fidelity (Loki x reader)

“I was just kind of hoping you’d y’know … fall in love with me.” + Loki Laufeyson Odinson

@jobean12-blog : A Smile In Bloom (loki x reader)

You and Loki bond over your mutual love for plants :)

@rorybutnotgilmore : Exist For Love (loki x reader)

Just some domestic baking and dancing with Loki.

| Natasha Romanoff |

@lethological-clara : Bikes and Bruises (natasha x reader)

Natasha teaches you how to ride a bike.

@saltybaltic : Downpour (natasha x reader)

Walking through the streets of New York you get caught in a torrential downpour and have to find cover

@saltybaltic : Save The Date (natasha x wife!reader)

On the day of your third wedding anniversary with Natasha, you realise that you’ve both been celebrating the wrong date

@saltybaltic : Cat Walk (natasha x reader)

Being friends with Natasha isn’t always easy, especially when you’re supposed to be helping her pick an outfit and you’re struggling to keep your mind out of the gutter.

gay panic

| Peter Parker |

@starshipsofstarlord : Screen Light (peter x reader

watching a movie does not always entail paying attention to it. However, there is innocence to the picture perfect distraction.

@baroquebucky : Truly, Madly, Deeply (peter x reader)

Truly, Madly, Deeply by One Direction with Peter Parker

one direction and peter parker is the perfect combo

@buckysbeloved : of sleep and safety (peter x reader)

in which peter parker slumps into your room exhausted and you have to try and get him into bed despite the height difference between you

| Pietro Maximoff |

@dem-obscure-imagines : Little Stark (Pietro x stark!reader)

Could you do an imagine of being Tony’s snarky sarcastic clever badass part-time Shield agent sister and Bruce’s best friend and therefore spends a lot of time in their lab while they’re your favorite people you are also brilliant, and therefore they also see Pietro always hanging around because he has a crush on you and Tony is protective big bro and everyone else just teases Pietro??

@helaintoloki : Meet The Family (Pietro Peter Maximoff x reader)

An innocent family dinner with Pietro’s new girlfriend reveals that life in Westview is not what it seems. Uncle Pietro introduces y/n to the family!

This one is sweet with a touch of Westview darkness

| Pepper Potts |

@rae-is-typing : Mother’s Day (mom!pepper x stark!reader)

It’s Mother’s Day, and you surprise your step mom Pepper

| Steve Rogers |

@ohmygoditsanthonyedwardstark : Why Do You Hate Me So Much? (steve x reader) (slight bucky x reader)

You spend your whole life loving Steve Rogers, unfortunately he can’t even spare a minute to love you.

i really want a part 2 to this one

| Thor Odinson |

@rae-is-typing : She’s Not Dying (platonic!thor x reader)

You have a cold, and Thor thinks you’re dying.

| Wanda Maximoff |

@cap-n-stuff : wanda maximoff x reader

Wanda x reader angst (like reader gets hurt or dies maybe idrk lmao)

@beskar-tano : wanda x reader comfort headcanons