#look at the recent dc shows
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Honey, wake up, DC dropped another project about a group of misfit weirdo murderers that I'm gonna obsess over
Hell yeah, mean mommy corpse
Must protect fish at all costs
Nazi killer robot? Yes please.
Flammable skeleton man? Oh we're cookin'
Fuck yeah, classic monters
Weasel FTW
2 episodes in and I'm HOOKED. Marvel tv shows have NOTHING on DC. They got something special with this one, ahhhh please go watch and support I want this to be a success!!!!
#creature commandos#dc#dc comics#rick flag sr#the bride#nina mazursky#gi robot#dr phosphorus#frankestein#weasel#seriously though#look at the recent dc shows#the penguin harley quinn doom patrol peacemaker most of the arrowverse on cw#they are COOKING
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seeing a lot of hqas antis on my feed today so
let's all also remember how the more mainstream comics wouldn't let them have an explicit relationship until after the success of the show... they've come so far since then. beautiful to see!
#harlivy#harley quinn#harleen quinzel#poison ivy#pamela isley#harley quinn animated series#dc#batman#hqas#am i biased as hell about this show?#well yes but im also right#genuinely thought that they had more comic kisses until i looked further into it and realized most of them are more recent...#this does not mean i agree with and am happy about EVERY decision the shows writing team made
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The JL keeps trying to stop Captain Marvel from talking to the media (and it’s not working)
The jl held a meeting about marvel’s conduct with cops bc he got a little too excited and suplexed a cop completely fucking forgetting he’s a 7ft buff ass man (the video goes viral for months) and the press is having a fucking field day with this bc ‘Captain Marvel Hates The Government!’ ‘Justice League Member, Captain Marvel, Shows His True Colors…?’ ‘Fawcett Superhero Attacks Civilian!’ ‘Captain Marvel Sends Police Officer to ICU!’ ‘Philadelphia Hero Puts Public Servant In Coma’ and shit like that is on the front page of every newspaper, magazine, and tabloid for the next eight months at least
so they’re like ‘hey you gotta say something! The people think you hate the us government esp the police!’ and he’s just sitting there confused before he says very slowly and clearly ‘But I do…I fucking despise them’
Barry and Hal are fucking losing it bc this is the guy that says ‘darn!’ in the heat of battle and has said on multiple occasions ‘Well, that’s not very nice, now is it?’ to opponents that destroy worlds for fun
like this guy still tries very hard not to make faces at the broccoli on his plate in front of the jl (and fails)
this guy hears a yj member or even the very adult titans cussing and going on the longest rant bc ‘I’ve not heard such foul language in all my years-!’ and what’s this ‘‘I’m an adult’ nonsense?? I’m older than Ravens grandfather 🤨 When you get to be my age-’
they’re all so pissed when they hear him cussing like a sailor playing video games on cyborgs phone the next day and he’s playing fucking temple run at that
#dc comics#justice league#ACAB!Billy Batson#dc captain marvel#Billy batson#billy batson says acab#Batman#dc cyborg#Victor stone#green lantern#Barry Allen#Hal Jordan#Whenever Billy gets the chance to cuss out cops he takes it like he’s cussing in ways that don’t even make sense in multiple languages#Like he doesn’t even care or notice that cap isn’t supposed to swear and it’s HIS rule#it doesn’t matter which speedster fucked up the timeline bc billy goes straight for Barry zero hesitation#‘I’d expect this from a cop’ ‘I was literally fucking dead are you serious??’#hal holding a newspaper: cap what did he even do#Billy trying to look like he didn’t fling a cop at several other cops earlier today: who’s to say ☺️#Barry: hey I’m not included in your cop thing right?? …cap?? Buddy??#Billy: 🙂 acab means you and that dumbass mf chase too#Hal remembering Greta ranting about a children’s cartoon at 3am: 🤨 bro the dog???#just imagine how much worse it gets if they figure out he’s in middle school#hal recalling everytime he’s invited cap to take shots and race around the watchtower: you’re fucking twelve?!#billy (who recently turned eleven) holding out Barry’s badge: no but he is#or even worse Billy showing up to his intervention props 😭 like he shows up with a miss piggy mask ‘I mean I can be’
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Something something pathetic asshole something something
(Feel free to like and reblog but don’t repost please)
#this is an old draft I kept forgetting to post#the look is based off of Matt Ryan’s Constantine but I’ve only seen a couple of episodes from his show#I mostly know the character from the Hellblazer comics (not completely up to date with the recent stuff but I’ve read the original run)#anyways happy pride month to this fucking loser#fanart#john constantine#dc constantine#hellblazer#dc comics#dc#dc vertigo#vertigo comics
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DC x DP Prompt: Jack and Maddie are not the best parents, but they love their kids! (Even the clone one they just found out about) And so they end up at a support group for the parents of super heroes to get some tips on how to improve.
“— so we’d like to learn how to be better parents to support our children,” Maddie said, sounding sorrowful. “They didn’t tell us secrets for so long because they didn’t trust us.”
She and Jack were currently sitting across from their laptop, where an online meeting was being held. No one showed their faces, since this was a meeting for parents of superheroes and metas, and secret identities still needed to be held.
There were some agreeable hums from the other participants. The head counselor said, “That’s good that you want to change. It’s a good sign. What are you specifically worried about?”
“Well, we recently adopted our youngest child, but we discovered that she was actually a clone of our youngest son. We worry because we don’t know how to deal with her. She’s such a sweet child, but this is so new, y’know?” Maddie explained.
“…. Wouldn’t it be better if you just ignore him— I mean, her? She’s not really part of your family, after all, she’s just a clone. They’re not created like living beings,” one person said. His icon showed a picture of a pair of glasses.
Maddie and Jack immediately scowled.
There was silence. And then the head counselor said, slowly, “Okay, well, I don’t know the circumstances, but I do know that he’s absolutely wrong.”
There was a snorted burst of laughter from another person who had an icon of a bat, before he quickly went on mute. The glasses icon person went silent.
The counselor continued, “No matter what, that child is still just that— a child. They need to be taught and loved and cared for. You’re already doing great by acknowledging your connection to her.”
Jack and Maddie beamed.
“No matter what, the best thing you can do as parents to children who are stronger than you and want to help others is support them. Lord knows just how many villains we could’ve prevented if only they had more support in the beginning.”
Jack nodded. “Rightfully said!” He and Maddie shared a look and smiled. For the sake of their children, they would strive to be better parents.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#danny phantom x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#dcxdp#dani fenton#dani phantom#maddie fenton#jack fenton#jazz fenton#danny fenton#kon el#konner kent#yes bruce is also part of this meeting lmaooo#he’s having a great time#anon ask#ask#ty for the ask!#superhero parent support group au
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The Batarang-Incident with Jason and Bruce honestly shows just how much DC writers hold shock value over proper characterization.
You mean to tell me that an experienced vigilante would choose to disarm a person with a gun by injuring them (and thus risking the chance of them pulling the trigger due to shock), instead of getting the gun away from them in the first place?
And you mean to tell me that this experienced vigilante (who has also been shown using his Batarangs to disarm gunmen by destroying their guns multiple times before) would take one look at the person who he considered a son — despite all of their recent fights — and risk a possibly fatal wound ?
Yeah, it's not adding up.
#batfam#batman and robin#red hood#jason todd#batman#batfamily#bruce wayne#dc comics#why do dc writers do this
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DP x DC Writing Prompt #9
"Are you sure about this?" J'onn asks, reading the discontent amongst the Kents. Clark and Lois each have a hand on their teenage son's shoulders, who several weeks prior was aged ten years old.
"We're sure," Clark says. He is not, nor is his wife. But his son is, who lays his hand on his mother's and squeezes. It is that surety that J'onn honors as he delves into the young (but not as young as he should be) man's mind.
The memories are hard to find but not gone, hidden behind what Jon can only see manifested as a glowing green wall. When he raises a tentative hand, the shield sparks green, but does no harm. Pushing through is like wading through the consistency of jello, which he finds an overall unpleasant experience. But he is unharmed as he passes through.
Before J'onn can sort through the memories he is all but sucked into the one at the forefront, where a Jon most similar in visage to the one recently returned perches on the edge of a building. Beside him lies a burger, partially unwrapped though uneaten, and a small soda.
As the memory builds out a sun sets on a small suburban town, and a muscled thigh knocks into Jon's, an older man with a shock of white hair and eyes the same light and color as the shield formed around these memories appearing. He's tall even sitting, likely about as tall as Superman, and looks to be in his thirties. A full body suit comprised of black and silver accents stretches across broad shoulders, a stylized D on his chest. He knocks his thigh into Jon's again.
"You said I couldn't go back," Jon says quietly.
"I lied," the man says lightly.
"You're lying now," Jon says, glaring at him. "I can hear your heart."
"Nice try, kiddo, I don't have a heart in this form," the man says, reaching a hand out, presumably to ruffle his hair. Jon dodges.
"I know you're lying. You would've told me. You would've helped me get home."
"Jon--"
"You're protecting Clockwork, aren't you?" Jon demands, eyes beginning to burn red. "That old coot decided it wasn't enough to play with you, he had to play with me too."
The man slaps a hand over Jon's eyes. "Breathe, like we practiced," he instructs firmly. Steam rises from where his palm meets Jon's eyes, but if it hurts he shows no indication. "In, 2, 3. Out, 2, 3."
Jon whimpers but heaves a breath, and the burst of red light dies down from between the man's fingers. His hand moves down to Jon's shoulder.
"I can't pretend to understand Clockwork's decisions," the man says, as tears begin to pool in Jon's eyes. "Frankly, I don't want to. I suspect they are hard decisions to make, sometimes."
"I don't get why you defend him," Jon says. "Dumbledore acting bastard."
"Language," the man says, lightly bopping him on the head. J'onn notes the boy actually winces, as if the blow hurts.
"I am upset with him, I hope you know that," the man continues. "But at the end of the day I'm also grateful. Because I got to meet you." He hooks an arm around Jon's shoulders, pulling him in. "And now you'll get to see your family again. And Sally, Arnold, and Damian!"
Jon sniffles, rubbing roughly at his face. He leans into the man's bicep. A trusted adult figure, then. One he's described his life to. A life, J'onn is sad to note, he appears to have lived for the past six years, as opposed to a sudden shift in appearance. Jon's next question all but confirm it: "Can I really go back? It's been so long. They'll be all grown up."
"Hey, of course you can," the man says, rubbing his shoulder. "I'm sure they've missed you so much. They'll be so happy to see you again."
Jon starts to smile. "I'm going home."
"You're going home!" The man laughs, shaking him.
"I can finally eat some decent barbecue again!"
"Hey!" the man protests, "The smoker blew up one time!"
Jon continues, beginning to get excited. "And Ma will make her jalapeño cornbread! I never could get it right, I can't wait for you to try it!"
J'onn notes the older man's smile fading, eyes growing sad.
"And Damian will definitely want to spar and oh, oh! With you on our side we can totally prank Batman! I bet Alfred will even help! And Mom gives the best hugs, Pops comes really close but Mom will be really excited to meet you, everyone will."
"Jon," The man says.
"I knew you'd be worried about it, but they'll want to meet you," Jon says, clocking his expression. "They'll be grateful. You, you helped me. You kept me safe and taught me how to be Superman. They'll love you, I promise."
"Jon, I can't go with you," the man says gently.
"I'm not saying you stay, but you can visit! I'm sure the Justice League can figure out a way to maintain a portal, they're super used to all that multiverse stuff. Once they have the coordinates, you can stop by whenever!"
"I can't go through the portal, Jon," the man says. "To other worlds, I'm a god. And gods can't interfere. The only reason I can continue to live here is because this is the world of my origin."
Jon gapes at him. "But--but,"
"You're going to see your Mom and Dad again," the man says. "And your brother, and grandparents."
"I can come here, then," Jon says desperately, pushing his way out of the man's arms. The man is already shaking his head. "I can!"
"You can't."
"Why, because Clockwork says so? He's a liar!"
"Because multiverse travel is never a good idea. If you got trapped here again--"
"I wouldn't,"
"You belong with your family,"
"You're my family!" Jon cries. The man freezes. "You, and Sam, and Jazz, and Tucker and Val and Ellie and Pops and Mads, you're all my family! I can't just leave you, I won't!"
"Oh kiddo," The man says, eyes wet. "I love you too. We all do."
"So I'll stay," Jon says decisively. "For all we know my world is a wasteland. Gramps wasn't exactly right in the head when I left. It's better to stay here."
J'onn notes a green vine unwinding from a nearby trellis. It slides down the eave towards the pair.
"You don't mean that," the man is saying.
"I'm sixteen. I can make my own decisions. I'm staying."
The man cups Jon's face. "Your parents did not have a choice in losing you. I'm willing to bet they're devastated. Because I'd be devastated, losing a kid as great as you."
"Maybe they're not even there," Jon says, but the words are half-hearted, and it clearly hurts him to say them.
"I know I seem like a pushover, but if I thought Clockwork was sending you back to anything less than your loving family, I'd destroy him first. And he knows that. They're going to be there, I promise."
"I don't want to go," Jon says. Behind him, the vine rises from the eave of its own will, poised like a cobra enchanted by a snark charmer.
"I know," the man says, eyes drifting to the vine. "I'm so sorry, Jon."
"For what?" Jon asks, as the vine attaches itself to the nape of his neck. His eyes roll back as he collapses into the man's arms. The man hugs him tighter than is strictly necessary.
J'onn expects the memory to now end, alongside Jon's consciousness. To his curiosity, it does not.
"For what it's worth," a young woman spits bitterly, vines supporting her weight as she slips over the side of the roof. "I still think this is horrible." Her eyes are red and miserable.
"Seriously, team punching Dumbledore in the face," A young black man says, appearing in the air supported by a woman almost identical in appearance to the man holding Jon, down to the suit colors. They land on the rooftop.
"Are you sure about this," the dark haired woman with powers over plants asks. "Because to be honest, Danny, I'm five seconds away from punching you in the face."
"Jazz won't speak to you for months," the girl, likely his sister, points out.
"Make it a year," the man says, crossing his arms.
The man, Danny, ignores them all. He cards a hand through Jon's hair. "He'll retain the experience, but not the memories?"
"Yes, he'll be a perfect little superhero, just as you taught him," the woman says, vines twisting agitatedly around her, wrapping around her thigh, wrists and neck almost punishingly.
"Sam," the man says. "He needs to go home. All of you know that."
"He doesn't have to forget us to do so!" the sister bursts, eyes flashing green.
"Remembering would be a torment," Danny says. "He'll know he was loved. That's enough."
"Danny," the plant woman says, sitting beside them both. She puts a gentle hand on his, both on Jon's back. "This is just a different torment."
"And if someone finds out?" Danny asks. He has been patient amidst their scorn, but now a tiny edge ekes into his voice. "A god's child, unprotected? Threatened? He would never stop looking for a way back, and being vocal about it could get him killed."
The others are silent.
"He'll be home. He'll be happy," Danny says. More powerful than a prayer. A directive. He raises his head past the child slumbering in his lap, past them all, face hardening, and says to J'onn: "And you will say nothing."
J'onn takes a step back, fear so thick he could choke on it flooding his very being. Thismanwillkillhim, thismanwillkillhim.
This man will reach through dimensions and kill him.
"Now, get the fuck out of my kid's head," Danny snarls. J'onn is pushed back with enough force he enters his own mind in a vicious whirl that leaves him physically on the floor, gasping.
"I'm sorry," he says as Superman rushes to lift him, and he's not sure who he's apologizing to. Green eyes will pierce his dreams. Vines will crush his throat in his nightmares, screaming silence, silence.
You will say nothing.
"I'm sorry," J'onn says, politely pushing Clark's hands away as he rises. He's already beginning to calm, because he understands. Those are consequences he will not face. He will do as directed. He looks at Jon Kent, bewildered but unharmed, clutching his mother's hand.
J'onn reaches down and dusts at his pants. "I'm sorry," he says evenly, ready to spin his tale. Perhaps the Kents will continue to seek their answers. Perhaps not. He will stay out of it either way. He has been warned.
You were loved by gods. And to keep you safe, they would quiet us all.
Part Two
#dp x dc#dp x dc au#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc crossover#danny phantom#dpxdc#superman#superboy#jonathan kent#jonathan samuel kent#my writing
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Dc x Dp Prompt #7: Pavlov’s Ghost Would be so Proud
In which Jazz tries to play matchmaker and accidentally classically conditions her new friend, Jason, into liking her brother.
Basically, Jazz is a college student at Gotham U when she shares a Lit class with Jason Peterson and they bond over deeply analyzing the characters. Jazz isn’t looking for a relationship (maybe she has a partner? Maybe she wants to focus on her studies? I’m low key considering aro-spec Jazz but who knows?) but she thinks Jason would get along great with her brother Danny and decides she wants to set them up.
She bribes Jason into coming over to study or hang out with the promise of fudge and take out and incidentally observes him deeply enjoying said food. She decides that since eating food puts Jason in a good mood that’s when it would be best to talk up her brother. So the next time Jason came over she casually steered the conversation toward her brother’s recent endeavors to transfer to Gotham in order to be closer to her because he’s so sweet and protective. She then offers Jason a slice of cheesecake she had leftover from a lunch out with the some friends which he graciously accepts. Then, just as he starts eating Jazz goes “oh here let me show you a picture of Danny!” and shows off her cute younger brother to her friend.
She doesn’t do it every time she and Jason meet because she figures that’s be too obvious but every time he comes over she offers him food knowing it puts him in a good mood so she can talk up her brother. It’s just that she says his name or shows him a picture of whatever Danny’s been up to recently while he’s eating.
Jazz just genuinely believes she’s just doing her best to be a good wing woman. It’s not until Danny actually moves to Gotham and Jazz decides to introduce them that she realizes what she’s done. She invites Jason over to come meet her brother and watches her how when he sees Danny he gives him an actual genuine smile, not a polite smile you give strangers, but one with actual joy. This is followed quickly by a sense of visible confusion in Jason‘s eyes and Jazz starts to connect the dots.
She excuses herself to the kitchen to go get the snacks she was planning to serve as she looks down at the tray she realizes ‘Oh my gosh I’ve been classically conditioning Jason to associate joy with my brother’! She puts together that an unconditioned stimulus = food (specifically served in her apartment) -> unconditoned response = Jason feels happy/good and that by talking about and showing off her brother every time Jason eats she made her brother a conditioned stimulus for Jason to associate with happiness.
She mentally groans realizing what she’s done but then looks back over at Danny and Jason hitting it off and can’t bring herself to fully regret it. This kinda was her goal as a wingwoman after all. She brings that snacks over to see a flush on her brother’s face and the tips of Jason’s ears red and thinks with a big grin ‘Hey! Maybe if this goes really well it’ll be a fun story to tell at their hypothetical wedding!’
#Get Classically Conditioned Fucker#pavlovian response#classical conditioning#psych student things#psychology student jazz#Jazz really didn’t mean to but hey she’s not complaining#dead on main#jason todd x danny fenton#jazz fenton#jason todd#danny fenton#wingwoman jazz fenton#she’s already planning their wedding#dc x dp#Strega’s dc x dp prompt
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Hello! I hope you’re doing well😊
I’ve been stalking your blog for a while and I love how you write the dc boys and was wondering if I could request a head cannon or small blurb?
So, one of my guy friends has a list of things written in his iPhone about his girlfriend, like her favorite food, flower, color, possible gift ideas, any and all anniversaries, etc. just a long list of everything he can think of pertaining to her. It got me thinking about Jason/Tim/Dick having something similar on their phone for their SO. Maybe the reader finds it one day while scrolling through their phone and they just 🥺❤️❤️ while their boy get flustered lol
Dick
Dick had a list on his phone specially made for you and while to some it would seem like what he had listed were mundane or not all that interesting, but that couldn’t be less then the truth to him as everything pertaining to you was worth jotting down and remembering.
From the way you liked your tea/coffee, your comfort movie and or tv show, right down to the way you always wanted to go on a date to a proper aquarium one day, all of this and so much more was taken into account as Dick often used this knowledge for brainstorming your next date night.
He takes it extremely seriously as he wanted everything to be worthwhile for you and also the fact that he’d get to see you smile as brightly as you did, it was his Achilles heel and Dick wasn’t ashamed to admit it.
So one day when he was writing down ideas on where to where to take you for your next date, you were just so happened to be in the room to take notice how on he left his phone open as he went into another room for one reason or another, and got curious as to what he had been so concentrated on; and what you found was enough to melt your heart.
In an extremely long list was filled to the brim with things about you that dick loved/took notice of and adored that even you yourself didn’t notice doing half of these things. It was like as though Dick saw more to you than you ever did and it made you feel…well loved.
‘Aww Dick. Is this list all about me?’ You asked as you read further down the list as Dick burrowed his face into your neck as he held you from behind after seeing you read the list on his phone.
‘It’s not like I can deny it now can I darling,’ he said, tightening his hold on you as he felt his cheeks fluster slightly, he’s not use to someone reading his innermost thoughts and feelings and now that someone has he’s not use to the feeling he was currently experiencing.
‘There’s even stuff in here that I’ve told you ages ago.’ You exclaimed, looking over at him with adoration. ‘You’re amazing you know that.’ You praised him, kissing his forehead softly.
‘So I’ve been told but it means a hell of a lot more when you’re the one praising me.’ Dick chuckled as he kissed your neck, keeping you close as the list on his became long forgotten as you continued to smother your dickie bird in affection.
Jason
Jason’s list about was seemingly never ending with how often he was adding onto it with things that you did or have started doing just recently that he couldn’t get enough of.
He had things such as how you’d snuggle up in bed in one of his hoodies, cuddling the pillow on his side of the bed close to your chest whenever you were missing him and stuff like how you latch yourself onto him from behind and chomping down on his shoulders and biceps when you wanted some attention from him.
Anything and everything you did that made his heart melt into a puddle was there and as mentioned beforehand it was growing on a daily basis.
So when you came across this list of his, you couldn’t help but feel as though you were seeing yourself through his own eyes for the first time, and seeing just how serious he was about you from his long and detailed list on just about everything you’ve ever done before and during your relationship.
There were even parts where he would go on about how cute you were during certain moments and how he’d take you to special places for dates when given enough time, and being amazed at how he’d remembered something you had brought up in passing several months ago.
Jason had taken every single detail about you and show just how much he loved them by keeping a list of them on his phone so that he doesn’t ever forget. Perks of being a hopeless romantic who’s read every Jane Austen book in existence. You had consumed his mind, body and soul and this listen only proved it as you delved in just how much you seemingly were on your pretty boy’s mind, much to his embarrassment.
‘Sweetheart.’ He droned from behind you. ‘You weren’t learnt to see that.’
‘Why not?’ You asked, holding his phone close to your chest, pouting, wanting to read more of his list about you and your many, many, many attributes that he adored like no other.
‘It was meant to be kept a secret so that I could surprise you on our next date.’ Jason told you with flustered cheeks at the fact that you now knew just how deeply he thought of you.
You only smiled at him as you peppered his face in kisses. ‘You’re such a hopeless romantic.’ You teased. ‘I love it.’
‘Only for you sweetheart, only for you.’ Jason murmured as he leaned in for more face kisses.
Tim
‘You shouldn’t be reading that.’ Tim would say when he found you reading the embarrassingly long list that he had specifically made for you and everything he’s known about you since you started dating. Tim was smart to take safety procedures in most things, but he seemingly forgot that you could easily access his phone that he had left open by accident.
‘Why not, are you embarrassed?’ You asked, smiling at how hellbent your boyfriend was on getting you to stop read in the list that he himself had made.
‘No, it’s just-‘
‘I’m only teasing sweet Tim, I think it’s really sweet that you made a list all about me.’ You interpret him as you reached out to hold his hand, squeezing it reassuringly when you felt his nervousness, kissing the back of it for good measure.
‘You really are a pain.’ Tim groaned as he plopped himself down next to you, still not over the fact that he was left his phone open for anyone to read just how badly your hold over him was, he thanked god that it was you who came across it rather then his siblings. Tim would never be able to live it down if someone like Damian or Jason or god forbid Dick had found his big little list about his perfect partner.
It had everything from your comfort foods, to that childhood plush that you held tremendous sentimental value towards, and things that you’ve mentioned once or twice that didn’t seem like much but were more then worth writing down and kept for future reference.
He couldn’t help it, there was so much about you that was worth writing down as you meant a lot to Tim and he found often found himself coming up with complex ideas for something as simple as your future date nights. Most were mainly date nights spend at home but neither of you were complaining if it meant spending quality time together, regardless of where that might end up being.
‘Well that’s odd because if I was then you wouldn’t have made the equivalent to an Google docs on me.’ You cheekily said, bumping your shoulder with his as he groaned, covering his face with his hands but the tips of his ears were beet red. God he was cute when he wasn’t being sarcastic and a smart ass. ‘I hate you.’ He said, voice muffled by his hands.
You smiled as you kissed the hands covering his face before leaning your head against his shoulder. ‘I love you too Tim Drake, more than anything.’
#dc imagine#dc x reader#dc x you#dc fanfic#dc fic#dc comics x reader#dc x y/n#dc fanfiction#jason todd imagines#jason todd imagine#jason todd fluff#jason todd x reader#dick grayson x you#dick grayson imagine#dick grayson imagines#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson fluff#nightwing x you#nightwing fluff#nightwing imagines#nightwing imagine#nightwing x reader#red hood x you#red hood imagine#red hood x reader#red hood imagines#tim drake x you#tim drake imagines#tim drake x reader#tim drake imagine
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Me, after doing 15 minutes of excessive googling on every Batfam member's birthday only to then realize I've accidentally missed the majority of them this year, and then also finding out that people are still aggressively debating over whether Bruce's birthday is April 7 or February 19, Dick's birthday happens 3-6x throughout the year, and Stephanie might have just popped into existence for all that DC cares:
Batfam birthday dates btw for anyone who needs them are listed beneath the cut:
DISCLAIMER: DC is notorious for being super inconsistent with everything and I am a mere tadpole caught in the tidal wave of DC's ocean. This post will be regularly updated with edits and corrections so please do not use it as word of law, I am begging you.
Update (8/24/23): To keep things more simple and easier for everyone I am going to start categorizing the birth dates I've collected into 3 categories.
-Most popular: Self-explanatory. These are the birth dates that have been canonized and confirmed by DC and are also more wildly celebrated by the fandom. Typically, this should be the first result you see when you google the character's birthday. But not always because DC sucks ass.
-Other date(s): These are the additional birth dates I come across that have been canonized in some form with multiple sources, but are not as wildly celebrated or popularized by DC and/or the fandom. Why am I including them here? Mostly because I don't want people coming in saying I forgot a date. But also because if I have to see this mess, then y'all have too as well.
-Potential but unconfirmed date(s): This is where I will put all the other additional dates I find, but specifically those that are lacking in complete sources or seem to be highly debated and scrutinized.
Also fun emoji ranking guide for me and me alone:
👑👑: Queen Shit. Characters with a consistent and simple birth date(s). Can absolutely do no wrong.
👑😮💨: In the Running. Characters who don't have a set birth date, but the mess is minor and completely DC's fault. They shouldn't have to be punished for DC's crimes.
🤡🤡: Gtfo. Shit is so inconsistent and stupidly messy that it's making me lose my shit. I'm putting DC and the characters on trial for this bullshit.
👑Alfred Pennyworth👑
Most popular: August 16
Other date(s): April 8 and March 31
(I think it'd be hella cute if Jason and Alfred shared a bday. But if you keep scrolling through the rest of the list, you'll see that August is kind of an overcrowded bday month for the Batfam.
Depending on what you prefer, though, I still think Alfred's worth being celebrated. Lord knows he deserves a special day for himself)
(Update ((8/24/23)): No big inconsistencies between these dates. I just thought it would be fun to provide some info on why Alfred has two canonical birthdates.
So the reason August 16 is viewed as the most popular is for two main reasons. One, obviously, is that he shares a birth date with Jason Todd. So many fans latch onto this date because of how sweet it is for them to share a birthday together.
The second reason has to do with the origin of the birth date. This is because of the more recent retcon that was made by the prequel comic to the Injustice: Gods Among Us video game that was published in 2013. There is a panel in the comic that shows Alfred's birth certificate in full detail from his full name, his place of birth, etc.
As for April 8, this specific date technically has more history compared to August 16. Fans will cite that April 8 was the official date selected by DC according to their Super DC Calendar back in 1976 (which btw was made in 1975).
Compared to August 16 and April 8, however, March 31 oddly enough isn't that popular or recognized by DC or the majority of the fandom. The reason March 31 does come up is because March 31, 1943 was the date when Alfred made his first appearance in the comics, one day after Bruce/Batman)
🤡Bruce Wayne🤡: Hey. Hey, DC, look at me. Bitch.
Most popular: February 19 or April 7
Other date(s): April 25, May 27, March 30, "October," October 7, and "November"
(It looks like most people go with February 19, but don't come at me if you're a April 7 truther. I'm just existing)
(Update ((8/20/23)): I'm gonna shoot somebody. So after doing a little bit more research, I came across-you'd never guess it-even more conflicting info on when Bruce's birthday is supposed to take place.
While April 7 and February 19 are still popular days for fans to celebrate Batman's bday, March 30 is also considered a popular date due to March 30, 1939 being the day Detective Comics #27 ((the issue Batman debuted in)) was put on shelves.
HOWEVER, even Batman's debut is contested to actually be May 27, 1939 because despite the fact that Detective Comics #27 first appeared to the public on March 30, 1939, the cover issue depicted May 27, 1939 instead.
This is because it was a popular practice for comics publication houses to falsify their cover dates as a way to give the impression that the latest issue was newer than it actually was. So if you really, really wanna get super fucking technical about it ((and I know there are some of you out there who do)), Batman may have debuted on March 30, but the cover-issue date was May 27 so, yes, I guess Bruce could have been a May baby instead.
I hate it here.
Oh, and to make matters more complicated, let's discuss the issue of April 7 vs April 25. So the reason April 7 is a popular bday for Bruce is because the original 1930-40s run just outright stated that April 7 was his birthday. Simple enough.
So what does April 25 have to do with this? Well, that's because technically-I think I hate that word now btw-Batman didn't get his own solo comic until April 25, 1940. If you want to go by April 25 because of this logic, however, that means that you'd have to share Bruce's birthday with the Joker. Because guess what? That's also the exact date that the Joker debuted.
I'm personally not a huge fan of Bruce and the Joker sharing a bday. Mostly just because the dates are clearly already complicated enough. But also I feel like April 25 is just known as the Joker's bday at this point, at least in the DC fandom. And Bruce has so many options at this point that it'd be kinda silly to make them share a bday.
As for the "sometime in October" and "sometime in November" additions, we have Batman The Animated Series and Frank Miller's "Batman: Year One" to thank for those extremely vague options.
BTAS Bruce states that his birthday is "sometime in October" and "Batman: Year One" Bruce is responsible for "sometime in November." I repeat: I hate it here.
So when is Bruce's actual birthday? Well, the latest change that DC has "officially" made was the February 19 retcon during the 1970-80s. When a fan sent a question into Detective Comics about Bruce's birthday, the answer given was "February 19" in the letter column. Issue #494, to be exact.
And the reason this answer was given? Because the Super DC Calender for 1976 (again made in 1975) said so.
However, there are still people who prefer to celebrate his bday on April 7 or March 30 instead. And there's also a question floating around if the New 52 run could potentially retcon Bruce's bday AGAIN at some point in the future.
I. Hate. It. Here.
Personally, I liked February 19 because then Alfred could maybe have the month of April to himself. But after seeing all this new info, I'm just sort of resigned to whichever date that the fandom prefers. Y'all can decide. I don't have any energy left.
Also, I can't believe I have to accuse Bruce of having possibly taught Dick his bday scam. Just .... wow).
(Update ((8/24/23)): Well, DC did it to me again. I found this extra little tidbit while googling the Super DC Calendar for Alfred, actually.
So Issue #10 of the 2021 Legends of the Dark Knight decided to give the BTAS's "sometime in October" an actual sometime.
How do I feel about yet another Bruce Wayne bday retcon? Honestly, I think I'm moving closer and closer to just a bland state of acceptance at this point. Tbh, I don't think all these retcons actually matter that much in the end. DC is gonna keep being DC.
Which is annoying. But Idk I'm personally gonna stick with February 19. No shade to you if you prefer any of the other dates. I just like February 19 more than the others)
👑Kate Kane👑
Most popular: March 21
Other date(s): January 26
(So ... where to start to with this one?
Well the official DC canon birth date for Kate Kane is listed as March 21. That being said, if you were to google Kate's birthday right now, you might be confused because that's not the first result that comes up.
Instead, you'll be greeted with January 26, 1990.
So what gives? If there's already an official DC approved birth date, then why the fuck is January 26 coming up all of a sudden?
Well, folks, you have the CW's Batwoman to thank.
Tbh I was very confused as to how I completely missed that there was an entire Batwoman TV show in the first place.
Apparently the show is considered a part of the CW Arrowverse (in reference to the CW show Arrow featuring Oliver Queen, for those of you who need extra info) and ran for 3 whole seasons before being cancelled on April 9, 2022.
And they gave us actual canon lesbian Kate Kane rep. I mean, she is a lesbian. But yeah. CW actually acknowledged her sexual orientation. So kudos for doing the bare minimum?????
Anyway, I guess the showrunners just decided they wanted Kate's birthday to be on January 26 instead of March 21??? Idk if this was supposed to be a reference or an homage to Cassandra Cain's birthday. I doubt it, but who knows?)
🤡Dick Grayson🤡: Greedy bitch who keeps lying about his birthday so he can scam people into giving him more presents jk jk
Most popular: "On the first day of spring" (bruh) or March 20/21
Other date(s): March 6, "April," October 24 (aka "the week before Halloween"), November 11 and December 1
Potential but unconfirmed date(s): June 24
(Dick's canon bday seems to be influx. March 6, March 20, March 21, November 11, June 24, December 1, and so on. I did see multiple sources state Dick was born "on the first day of spring." I'm unclear atm about whether this is a fanon take or if it was actually stated in a particular comic at some point.
As far as I'm concerned, Dick just keeps lying about his birthday for the lols)
(Update ((8/24/23)): Well, guess what I found, folks?
It's a return visit from our favorite friend, the Super DC Calendar of 1976. And according to it, Dick's birthday should be November 11.
You can also thank the Young Justice comic for the confusion surrounding Dick's bday being on December 1.
Also, I found this post by @theflyingwonder that helps clear up a LOT of the mess surrounding Dick's ever changing birth date. Honestly, amazing work and extra kudos to them for putting all the work in and finding all the sources. I just wished I had found their post earlier, holy shit.
And if you have some extra time, please give some love to @inkydandy for their hilarious and very sweet comic about all the confusion that comes with Dick's bday)
(Update ((8/25/23)): Many thanks to @poisoned-ivy for clearing up even more of the mess surrounding Dick's bday. I went ahead and took a screenshot of their response to my old "Which date is Dick's canon bday?" poll.
They also provided a link to the DC Universe Calendar which was lovingly compiled from the original 1976 Super DC Calendar and then put together by the people who run the Five Earths Project .
Also found out from them today that October 24 is one of Dick's bdays ((at least for Post-Crisis Dick Grayson)). So that was a fun new discovery!
They were also very helpful in helping me realize that the original article I had found that stated "sometime in April" was actually in reference to Dick Grayson's first appearance in the comics, which was April 1940.
So, yes, "sometime in April" is technically--again I hate this word so much now--still a valid candidate for Dick's bday. And before you ask: Detective Comics #38 was actually published on March 6, 1940.
Hence why people will cite March 6 as Dick's canon bday instead.
This project got a lot bigger than I ever expected it to ... god)
👑Barbara Gordon👑: September 23
👑Jason Todd👑: August 16
👑Cassandra Cain👑: January 26
👑Tim Drake👑: July 19
👑Stephanie Brown😮💨: She emerged from the void with the sole purpose of dragging Bruce's ass to hell and back. Nothing can stop her. We all exist in her world now.
Potential but unconfirmed date(s): June 23, "August," or August 11
(For real, though, some peeps will say June 23 since the month she officially debuted in the comics was June 1992.
But I've also seen August 1992 listed as her bday month as well--lot of August babies in the Batfam, huh--but I haven't found June 23 specifically listed as her canon bday, either. It honestly feels like the fans are putting in more work than DC at this point. Which, like, I'm not surprised. Just disappointed)
(Update ((8/24/23)): Someone mentioned August 11 as a potential birth date, but I have yet to see an actual source that specifically states this. If I do find one, I'll edit this section. Figured I should put it here just in case, though)
👑Duke Thomas👑: August 13
👑Damian Wayne👑: August 9
👑Terry McGinnis😮💨
Most popular: August 18
Other date(s): June 27 or August 10
Potential but unconfirmed date(s): September 19 (fml)
(Yes, I'm including Terry, fuck you lol
Also SERIOUSLY WTF is up with so many of these August birthdays!!!! Fuck, was everyone just getting crazy BUSY in November!!!! What's going on in the DC universe that is making November of all months the HORNY MONTH????!!!!)
(Mini update ((8/18/23)): Well, I just found out that apparently June 27th 2023 is also a highly debated birth date for Terry. As is August 10 2023/2024 and August 18 2023/2024. I even saw a mention of September 19 2023, but I don't know how credible that source actually is. I'm just putting it here because I'm losing my mind and I don't want someone to pop in and say I forgot it omfg I'm dying
I'm just ... why? Why is it so hard to just commit to one month and one date. I'm not even concerned about the exact year. Just commit to ONE, man.
Excuse me while I march over to DC HQ and burn the whole place to the ground iswtfg)
Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on any of these. I have a massive headache now and am open to any suggestions or clarifications y'all have to offer.
Also, I'm going to fist fight Dick in a Denny's parking lot.
Update (8/17/23): So a mini post that I meant to use as a way to vent how insane Dick was making me somehow blew up way more than I ever expected it to, and now I feel obligated to clarify again that I am open to any corrections and additional info that anyone has to offer.
I'm saying this because I've noticed people reblogging this post for actual Batfam bday references and someone already pointed out I fucked up Tim's bday and now I feel bad for everyone who reblogged this post prior to that edit.
It's probably just the anxiety talking, but yeah I just wanted to put that out there.
Also justice for Stephanie Brown! She deserves to have her own special day and if I have to bully DC into giving her a canon birthday, then you bet your ass I fucking will.
(And to all of y'all who are encouraging Dick to keep running his side scam business, I just have this to say: There's an empty Denny's parking lot somewhere out there just waiting for you, too lol)
#batfam#batfamily#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#stephanie brown#tim drake#cassandra cain#duke thomas#damian wayne#alfred pennyworth#batman comics#batman meta#batfam meta#long post#long post is long#for real though#if i existed in the dc universe#and i happened to run into either dick grayson or nightwing#it would be on fucking sight#motherfucker gave me an anxiety attack#it's the least of his sins#pinning this post for the time being#terry mcginnis#make sure to double check post for any possible edits or updates#batfam birthdays#kate kane
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DP x DC Prompt/notion #2
When Batman first started as a vigilante a certain percentage of the people of Gotham thought he was a demon or spirit or entity of some kind. Some of those people started to pray to him or even leave offerings on rooftops or fire escapes. The number of Gotham citizens that actually pray to him is fairly small but the number who believe he will protect them, who mutter under their breath "Batman will fix it" as their leaving the house the day after an Arkham breakout is very large.
Because magic and belief can work even when unknown or unacknowledged, Batman technically qualifies as a minor deity even though he doesn't know about it.
People have mostly prayed to him for protection and more specifically for the protection of children (especially after the Robins showed up).
Between his own actions and the belief of the people he is the patron deity of Gotham, of those in need of protection (particularly children) and of adoption.
Batmans strong belief that he is human keeps him human and he doesn't notice the minor boost magic is giving him. Like how no one ever sees him when he doesn't want to be seen or how he heals just a bit faster than the norm. It happens gradually over time as he gains more followers and he blames it on his training and on gaining experience as a vigilante .
Meanwhile, Danny needs a new home because of his parents and/or the GIW catching him and experimenting on him.
He escaped and went to Clockwork for help. Clockwork is one of his ghostly guardians but Danny needs human or at least human adjacent parents because of his human half.
Clockwork/Kronos wants to make 100% sure Danny is protected and happy in his new home. As a god himself, knowing Danny's power level and wanting to make sure whoever takes him in can keep up with Danny and offer him the safety he needs, Clockwork decides Danny needs a godly parent in the human world. His own children would be an option... except his relationship with them is still a bit... strained (hard to have a healthy family relationship after trying to eat your kids).
So he looks to other pantheons and after carefully considering the options, he chooses a deity that is still mostly human (perfect for Danny who was so recently entirely human and still learning about his ghost half), who is a God of protection (he can keep Danny safe especially in his own city where he's at his most powerful) and most importantly who is a God of adoption (who better to take in a child in need?). He chooses Batman.
The absolute chaos in the batfamily when the God of Time shows up and explains he wants Batman to adopt Danny because he is literally the God of having an adoption problem.
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Hi, this is my first time asking here I really love your work and also the whole reason me going into the DC fandom really... Anyway, back to my request can you do like a fluffy interaction with the batfamily when child (male or gn) reader told them that they had a "boyfriend" at school.
Not entirely sure if this is really you're cup of tea and if not you can ignore it.
:D
Oh this is my cup of tea, don't worry. And I got you into DC fandom? I hope you like the fandom so far.
Summary: (Y/N) is slowly growing up. Bruce and the others can't handle it.
Warnings: fluff, Bruce and everyone is emotional, just pure fluff everyone, Titus makes an appearance
The family has been going through a rather tough time recently. (Y/N) has started going to kindergarten and they couldn't see him for almost the entire day. Bruce knew it was important that (Y/N) starts socializing with children his age.
Bruce knew that is was important for (Y/N) to do it and he needs to get over all the child sicknesses. Such as chicken pox and some others. It would build his immunity system and make him stronger. And it was difficult the first day.
Everyone was emotional that first day. All of them barley kept it together as they walked (Y/N) to the kindergarten, more so to the place where he would be spending time until he needs to go to elementary school.
(Y/N) was nervous at first, but Bruce assured him how they would be back to get him back. The brothers all said goodbye and nearly broke down when (Y/N) left and everyone, including Alfred broke down in the car.
" He is growing up so quickly. " Jason said as he was wiping his eyes, trying not to cry fully.
" I know. " Dick said, not even keeping his cool anymore. Bruce and Damian didn't cry, but they were definitely sad about the fact that they couldn't see their brother anyone. Tim was just quiet as he sniffed quietly and Alfred simply looked ahead, outright refusing to cry.
Everyone went on with their days and once they were done with work or school, they would pick up (Y/N). (Y/N) was happy to his family once more and he just wanted a hug from his dad.
And he wanted to be carried by his dad. It was their tradition after all. Soon, Bruce had to update the list of people who could pick him up and included everyone in the family, besides Damian. The kindergarten policy made it clear that you needed to present ID every time you want to pick him up.
Bruce had to admit, he was impressed with the sheer security of the kindergarten and the way that they made sure that nobody unauthorized or somebody who had more sinister motives could get in. Thankfully.
(Y/N) has been going for a few months and he liked it very much. He has made a few friends and Bruce couldn't be happier. (Y/N)'s brother's were happy too. (Y/N) was happy, liked going there and had fun.
What more could they ask for? Nothing more.
As long as their brother is happy, so are they.
It was all going to be fine.
Well, that fine turned into pure confusion when (Y/N) was home. It was a Saturday. (Y/N) and the family was having a family night and (Y/N) was watching a movie in his father's lap, enjoying the contact from his father. Bruce covered his son in a blanket, making sure it was warm. It has started snowing a few hours ago and it was perfect.
More importantly, it was peaceful.
Until (Y/N) started to speak.
It was all fine.
" I forgot to tell you something! " (Y/N) declared as he sat up upright. Bruce glanced at (Y/N) and hummed at him, showing him that he had his attention.
" I have a boyfriend! "
Those four words made Bruce's head spin and he swears he hears that he has heard something crash in the kitchen. Jason spat out his water, coughing the rest of it out. Dick wept and Damian froze. Tim blinked a few times.
What the hell?!
" I'm sorry, what do you mean by that? " Bruce asked as he got some of his composure back. (Y/N) smiled widely and Bruce had to make sure he didn't fall down.
" I have a boyfriend! We hold hands and do everything together! " (Y/N) said loudly and Dick wept louder. Jason took a deep breath and Damian blinked a few times. Tim just drank his coffee. Nope. He is too pumped with caffeine to even think about it.
" What's wrong with Dick? " (Y/N) asked, looking at his brother who was weeping. Jason gave Dick a hug and Dick was mumbling the words so quickly and grow up. In not really particular order actually.
" Nothing (Y/N), you know how he gets emotional. " Bruce explained and (Y/N) let out a little huh. Bruce wanted to cry really, but he couldn't. His son was growing up too soon, but growing up is normal.
It's going to happen eventually.
Sooner rather than later.
" Come here. " Dick said as he wiped his eyes. He stood up and took (Y/N) into his arms, hugging him. His brother can't grow up. No. It's completely wrong and not- No.
(Y/N) can't grow up. No.
(Y/N) was confused as to why Dick would cry. Why? Is he sad? Why would be sad?
" Why are you said Dick? " (Y/N) asked and Dick finally found it in himself to chuckle. He gave (Y/N) a kiss on the cheek.
" I'm not sad baby bird. "
" Then why are you crying? When you are sad, you cry. " (Y/N) stated and Dick shook his head fondly.
" Sometimes, when you are so happy, you are so overwhelmed with happiness that you just start crying. " Dick explained and (Y/N) let out a little oh, leaning his head on Dick's shoulder.
Dick sighed as he sat down on the couch and Alfred finally made his way into the the living room.
" Master Bruce, did I hear correctly? Master (Y/N) has a boyfriend? " Alfred asked, clearly not wanting to believe it. His youngest grandson has a boyfriend?
" Yes, (Y/N) has a boyfriend. " Bruce confirmed and Alfred sighed quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose. His grandson will send him to his grave. Early grave, mind you.
Jason sighed as he wanted Dick to hand (Y/N) over to him. His brother can't have a boyfriend now. He is a baby in his eyes and he can't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend for that matter until he is about 30.
That is a reasonable age to have a boyfriend. Right?
" Should I open up the scotch? " Alfred asked and Bruce smiled at the suggestion.
" Later Alfred. "
" As you wish master Bruce. "
" Dad? " (Y/N) asked from Jason's arms and Bruce felt something warm in his heart.
" Yes? "
" Can we go out to play in the snow? Pretty please. " (Y/N) asked and Bruce nodded in agreement.
" Of course we can. But you need to make sure that you are warm. You can't get a cold can you? " Bruce said as he picked (Y/N) up from Jason and (Y/N) let out a little hurray.
" He is too pure for this world. " Damian said once (Y/N) and Bruce left the room to bundle up. and there was something that everyone could agree on. Even Jason and Damian could agree on that phrase.
Titus wagged his tail as he whined for Damian to open the door to the garden. Damian did so and Titus started playing in the snow. It was weird to see such a black mass in the white snow.
Titus almost looked like a demon and then that image was gone when (Y/N) ran over to Titus. Titus was very happy, tail wagging like mad, but still remained calm and gentle with his little brother. Bruce watched as (Y/N) ran around, making angels and throwing snowballs at Bruce.
Titus would also run for snowballs that the two would make, considering that they couldn't find his tennis balls to throw. He was confused at the way the would disappear, but still came back for more.
" Maybe we have overreacted. " Dick said and everyone agreed in a certain way. (Y/N) is a child and he probably doesn't know the meaning of the word. But they know that sooner or later they will have an actual boyfriend on their hands.
Hopefully that will never happen. Hopefully.
#dc x male reader#dc comics#x male reader#batfamily#bruce wayne x male reader#jason todd x male reader#batman x male reader#red hood x male reader#dick grayson x male reader#nightwing x male reader#tim drake x male reader#red robin x male reader#damian wayne x male reader#robin x male reader
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Prompt For Dc-x-Dp With M’gann and Danny M’gann didn't expect to be dealing with Random Lazurus Green Portals forming around mars, but since she's Nearby mars she gets to deal with it... and their's An Alien with snow white hair Fighting A Glowing Vampire who's raving about Fathers and mothers?? Danny Is in such a Mood, He's on mars, which is a plus, but He's Fighting Vlad On Another 'Join me! Let me remove Jack from this plain of Reality!' and Honestly The Portals are throwing him off, Just... Bad memories, And Then, becuase of fucking course Something else happened, Vlad Gets Decked in the face and sent flying. "hey, So im going to guess that The Vampire is The Evil one here?" The Green woman asked, while Looking at Danny. While Vlad is growling and about to Throw A Red Ecto-blast at M’gann Danny gets in the way with a shield and responds. "yeah, arch nemisis and all, how are you even out here? or breathing?" M’gann Just Shrugged and said, "Well Home is home and all." Before flying to go Deck the Vampire and all. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ hope this is enough for you to Work some magic and all. and as for some extra stuff you could use, maybe danny has a Space obsesion, and His Protective stuff is Becuase of the Type of spirit he is half of? And maybe An Ice core Could be fun to go with? Ghost prince territory? with danny not wanting to be ghost king just yet. ideas for ya to use.
It's such a cool concept! I didn’t fit Ghost Prince in, but I hope you'll like what I did
*****
Danny was going to strangle Vlad, all subtleties of ghost powers no withstanding. He needed the brutal power that just wasn't fully there even when using more offensive abilities, like ecto-blasts.
He had been having a good day. Okay, maybe not a good day, it's been a long time since he had an actually good one, but a decent day. One, that seemed to start out calm, with all of his typical rogues stuck in Zone recent enough they shouldn't get out today specifically. It was Saturday, so no school, and for once his homework wasn't swallowing him, so he had a bit of time to breathe. And prepare college applications, because his grades got to an appropriate level again and he actually got a shot in academic career. No chance for scholarship like Jazz, but he could go if he played his cards right.
And then, of course, Vlad had to come into his room to harass him again. This time with the added flair of a portal gun he made for some freaking reason.
This time Danny wasn't even trying to piss Vlad off, in the love of Ancients, he tried to ignore the other halfa even when he showed up in his room, raving about removing Jack Fenton from this plane of reality. Craving to deck the guy right then and there was enormous but Jazz was on him about controlling his ✨️displaced aggression✨️ and his anger in general, so he was trying to tune Vlad out. He carefully didn't even think about transforming into Phantom. Especially since both of his parents were safe, a few states away on some ghost hunting convention that Danny managed to skip by the power of ‘I can't take more days off school, sorry I messed up my attendance early in the year’.
Well, they would be, if Vlad, being the obsessed creep he was, didn't try to follow them with a portal gun.
Danny was still willing to ignore it all, because Vlad was a loser and chances that he made something so complicated work properly were only slightly above chances his parents had. And both of them were tripping hazards in hell.
But then Vlad started blasting around his room to egg him on and hit his Curiosity rover model.
Phantom tackled him before the bastard had time to smirk. They phased through the wall, because otherwise Vlad’s back would smash into Lego Saturn V and boy was not looking forward to even more damage. His white gloved hands pressed Plasmius against the cold floor. It looked promising. Over the years he got to a relatively similar level as Vlad with his fighting abilities so getting advantage so early could in theory mean it would be over soon and he would get back to his applications.
He forgot how to breathe for a moment when he was pushed through a portal. Some most instinctual part of him, deep in his core, fell to the mindless panic because He died this way! He died this way, was he able to survive it again?! Without thinking he lashed out, trying to scratch and bite and blast because he needed to get out, he needed to get away but danger was in front of him and he needed to get rid of the danger before he could escape to safety. And Vlad kept teasing him, like he didn't know fully well what portals did to Phantom, to Danny, like he wasn't breaking the most basic rules of the anarchist ghost society.
So Phantom kept trying to punch and kick and scream, trying to get away from green ovals that just kept appearing around them leading to who knows where.
Powerful blast to the chest sent him flying back, through the portal and down to the ground, which at some point became asphalt instead of wheat field. He was too frazzled to even try stopping his fall, just half heartedly tensed waiting for an impact.
It never came, because he was caught by static. Men in red (Flash he'd realize second too late, Flash) send him a concerned smile and asked about something but Plasmius was trying to duplicate, no doubt to overshadow actual hero and it wasn't the way Phantom wanted to be introduced to the Justice League so he jumped forward, sending both halfas through another portal.
It was easier this time, when he expected it but his hands were still shaking when he put them in fists. He could handle it though. He fought in much worse circumstances.
They spawned through a few more portals, almost threw worried looking Superman off the sky and barely not killed some of Aquaman's dolphins before something changed. Phantom didn't realize it at first, too focused on rapid fire from Plasmius and on the constant lookout for new portals, but something changed.
His next blast hit the target and left charcoal black burn and almost fire in its wake. It wasn't something that happened normally. It wasn't something that happened normally unless Danny's obsessions were being served. He wasn't protecting anyone but himself, which didn't fill the protection obsession, so that left…
Space.
Oh.
He was on Mars. Or well, a bit above.
It was mesmerizing. It was breathtaking. It was everything he wished for ever since he learned about other planets in kindergarten.
Sky was a pinkish red color that on Earth meant a beautiful clear sunset but here was just the middle of the day. He didn't see the sun itself, apparently lucky enough to have his back to it. It wouldn't be brighter than at home, obviously, but it was always nice to not be blinded when admiring the view.
The landscape below them seemed familiar. He probably saw it in some photo, but he couldn't remember which one. He couldn't help but try to remember. He wanted to know where was he, what he'd seen, what he'd touched, later when he was in his room, longing to get out here again.
In his almost trance he just about ignored the blast that flew past his ear like an annoying pest.
He had the name of this rock formation on the tip of his tongue! C'mon, brain, you could do it, you could remem-
Even he couldn't ignore the burning pain of the ecto blast straight to the shoulder.
“Listen to me, Little Badger!” Plasmius yelled before dodging ice javelin. Phantom made sure it evaporated before hitting the ground. He was not letting other planet become collateral damage in whatever mess Vlad wanted to stir this time.
He carefully didn't look around when they teleported next time, aware just enough to know they were still on Mars. It wasn't a good moment to sooth his neglected obsession.
Being mad that this was probably the only chance he got out there helped. It definitely reignited the absolute fury, before muted by the panic and then obsession trance.
Phantom wasn't sure what he was yelling back as Plasmius went on and on about killing Danny's dad and marrying his mom and adopting Danny and how ‘look Little Badger, you and I both see how much better off you'd be if you just joined me and let me teach you’. He just knew there was little other than obscenities, and it was paired with an array of blasts and ice and straight up punches when he got close, which was good enough.
Oh, how he wished he could strangle the pathetic vampire lookalike bastard.
Something green and indigo sent Plasmius crashing into the ground.
“Hey, so I'm going to guess that the vampire is The Evil one here?” Feminine voice asked in clear English. Danny took a moment to just stare, blinking rapidly to make sure he saw what he thought he saw.
Yup, that was certainly The Miss Martian, an alien heroine, whose action figure he displayed at the most honorable place of his room. The Miss Martian he tried to learn everything about when she debuted. The Miss Martian whose powers were so similar he used footage from her fights to learn himself. His biggest inspiration.
Dope.
Wait, she asked him a question, didn't she? It was not the time to be a fanboy, probably.
Yeah, no it was definitely not a time to be a fanboy, he decided, right when he threw a shield in front of her, because Vlad didn't take kindly to being interrupted. It really was the least he deserved.
“Yeah, arch nemesis and all that. If I may ask, what are you doing here, Miss Martian, ma'am? I thought you lived full time on Earth?”
“Well, home is home and all” she just said wistfully and telepathically threw a rock to Vlad's stomach, making it follow until it hit the mark, right before another stone hit him in the unprotected back.
And here Danny thought he got over his celebrity crush back when he was sixteen.
Good thing though, another person in the fight made his protection obsession rear back to life, the fact that she was an alien only helping as his space side zeroed on her too. It was useful to not get distracted by glimpses of the world around them.
Of course Vlad just duplicated to make the chances ‘equal’ once again, so the fight dragged on.
Miss Martian just kept being graceful like a supernova, beautiful and destructive.
Danny hoped he didn’t look as embarrassingly pathetic as he thought he did. What were the chances she didn’t see when he took the blast to the arm because he got distracted by pretty rocks?
Plasmius kept taunting, calling him Daniel because of course secret identities or prefered names don't matter when you have to harass the teenager.
Phantom decked him extra hard for that.
At least he didn’t try to use his portal gun again, too busy with fighting off both of them.
Kick, dodge blast, ice, shield for Miss Martian, ice because how dare he attack an alien, dodge, intangibility.
Was it or was it not a good idea to use Ghost Wail and be done with that.
“I've got an idea, cover for me for a minute, okay?”
“Sure” Did he sound too eager? He wanted to keep it cool at least outwardly, not mess up his first and perhaps last impression.
Wait, shit, Martians can read minds! Miss Martian probably already knows how big of a mess he was.
Shit, shit, shit.
Phantom dutifully shielded heroine as she levitated with her eyes closed, at the same time keeping constant assault on Vlad. It was getting exhausting. At least he could go home fast when the fight ended.
“Do you want me to make him indefinitely indisposed or is it too much for you?” Miss Martian suddenly asked. Danny froze for almost a minute before he choked out.
“What do you mean?”
“I can rip his mind apart, leave his body alive but useless without any thought to lead it, but I know some people find it uncomfortable even when it happens to villains”
For a moment, in the midst of fanboying, he forgot how terrifying set of powers she had.
“Please don't” After all, ghosts are their minds, and despite how despicable things Vlad did, no one deserved fate of completely not existing.
“Alright. Is enhancing his experience of pain okay with your moral code?”
“Yeah, I think”
“Done,” she said with a smile, and despite how terrifying he was of her just a few seconds ago, he had to admit, this smile was gorgeous.
After that, it took, like, three punches before Vlad bailed. Which was good.
What was less good, was the fact that the portal he used to escape closed before Danny could go through it. He just stared for a long moment, blinking quickly. He wanted to scream. Or cry. Or both. Both was good.
“So, Daniel…?”
Danny winced and looked back at Miss Martian.
“Danny. Or Phantom. Nobody calls me Daniel”
She nodded with a friendly smile. Good thing they were flying, because his knees got weak for a hot second.
“Alright. I'm M’gann”
“Should you tell me this?”
“I know your name,” she shrugged. “It's only fair that you know mine. It's not a name I use on Earth anyway”
“Um, sure, okay. It's nice to meet you M’gann” Was this too stiff? He had no idea how he was supposed to interact with heroes who just shared their identity. For no reason too, because c'mon, she didn't know him. Why would she do it?!
“Are you from Earth? You speak English”
“Yeah, USA, Illinois. That bastard teleported us around and of course left me stranded”
“It's your lucky day then, I was about to head back, I can take you with me”
There was no universe in which he wouldn’t agree.
#now imagine justice league meeting to talk about weird metas thet were fighting all over the place#because danny saw only flash superman and aquaman but other could see him in civies or even as heroes and he just havent realized#and they all are kinda stressing over it because danny and vlad could be dangerous and what not#and they try to find them and onky find vlad#meanwhile m’gann and danny are in bioship just bonding#anyway i hope you like what i did with your prompt#im not very good at writing fight scenes#nor do i get this whole “people hot” thing that kinda showed up#so tell me what i can do to do it better in the future#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#wandixx writes#wandixx answers#spearmint ship#have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part#danny fenton/m'gann m'orzz
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Out of Our Minds (Part 1)
Ledger! Joker x f!reader (18+)
CW: just swearing for now :)
Summary: You’re a psychiatrist at Arkham, and have now been assigned to the most recent of Batman’s enemies, the Joker. You’re already barely getting by, but this new patient poses a challenge. If you can get him to show progress he’s getting better, then you might get a raise. If he doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere, then you’ve lost your job. You’re prepared to work extra hard to help him but the Joker is nothing like what you’ve expected. Everyone warns you how he’ll get inside your mind, crawl under your skin.
They might be right.
Next part
Notes: I’m not sure if there’s an audience for this, this is lowkey kinda just guilty pleasure for me, but I hope some other people will enjoy this series :) I’ve always wanted to see a Harley Quinn in the Dark Knight universe, so in this fic, you are Harley (well, similar to her, lol). Obviously there’s no cannon Harley-type character in the Dark Knight trilogy so this is all made up, and I’ve taken bits and pieces from different DC Harley’s, plus their relationship with Joker, so look out for that :) So, just have fun with it, hope you enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Time seems to move slower at Arkham.
You adjust your coat, having barely swiped in just minutes ago but already it feels like hours and you’ve only just gone to the main office space and grabbed a cup of coffee. The coffee tastes disgusting, but you’re running off little sleep, so you down it quickly. Even from the office, you can hear the screams, cries, and rambles of the Arkham patients in the distance. You’ve been working here for two years already and still haven’t grown used to the constant roar of madness. You’re not upset over it though. You’re here to help these people, to help make sure the people in your city of Gotham are well. So, in a way, you welcome the noise. But that doesn’t mean you're fond of it, nor does it mean it lets you sleep.
Most people you talk to (which is very few, considering you’re always working) tend to judge you for choosing Arkham of all places to work. And, you’re honest with them, it certainly wasn’t your first option, but they pay well enough so that you can rent a decent apartment and you’ve quickly grown to enjoy the challenge it poses. It’s the higher-ups and the fear of being fired at any minute that makes the job truly a chore at times. But people will be assholes, and you’ve come to accept that.
When you’re done with your coffee, you toss the cup in the trash, grabbing a folder from out of your bag. It holds all your notes and the files of all the patients you deal with. You’ve got quite a few patients to meet with today, each with their own unique problems, their own unique story. You look over your notes, leaning against a wall when one of your bosses enters the room.
“Hello, y/n,” says Robert Dale, hanging up his coat on a rack to the side of the room. He’s a squat little old man who helps manage the asylum, keeping track of all the psychiatrists. He certainly isn’t the kindest of bosses, and you’re sure he only keeps you around because you’ve learned to just go with whatever the hell he and the other big Arkham bosses say. Sure, you can be easily submissive, but it’s that or the streets. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”
You frown. That can’t be good. Everytime Dale talks to you, it’s either to demand, critique, or complain. “Good morning to you too, Mr. Dale,” you mumble.
He takes a deep breath and stuffs his hands in his pockets. “You’ve been watching the news, I presume?”
You nod. Who hasn’t? You live in Gotham, for crying out loud, and there’s almost too much crime to keep track of as of recent. Especially ever since that Batman showed up, some kind of masked hero who you never got the hype over. “Of course.”
“You see all that stuff about…the Joker?”
The Joker. The Clown Prince of Gotham. Chaos incarnated. A rowdy clown criminal facing up against Batman. He had just been caught by the Bat a week ago, and the news had been all over the case, wanting to know where he was sent next. Where he was being held. If he would ever come back… “Yeah, I’ve heard.”
“See, he’s been being held up in Blackgate, but he is now officially joining our little…family.” He said the word darkly, snorting. Your breath hitched in your throat. The Joker? “Anyways, he is a bit of a, and I'm sure you know this, tough nut to crack. He arrived here yesterday, in a solitary, high security cell and we’ve been looking for a proper person to… attend to him. We sent in a few of our other psychiatrists as a sort of test, seeing who he fits well with.”
“Right,” you bring yourself to say, even though your whole mouth feels like it’s filled with sand. The Joker. Here. At Arkham. “And?”
He sighs, running a hand through his graying hair. “Every single one of them left that room different. Some were crying, others looked shell shocked. Batman told us Joker was going to be hard to deal with, but we weren’t quite expecting something of this level. He bends the mind, tries to break you. Twists the way you think until you don’t even know who you are. Gets under your skin. So, let's just say, we’re looking for someone strong enough to take on our special little patient.”
You know where this is going, and even when Dale says the words, your mouth still drops. “I’m assigning you to the Joker, Miss l/n. You’ve always been up for a good challenge, and are very good at listening to our orders.”
Right. So I don’t get fired and end up homeless or working for some crooks. “Mr. Dale, I have other patients I need to attend to today and I have no room to fit in-”
He cuts you off with a wave of his hand. “I have already swapped your ten o'clock appointment so you can meet with the Joker. This is very important, Miss l/n, and you wouldn’t want to fail us, would you?”
As easy as you find it to work with your patients, the higher-ups are much harder for you to manage. “No…”
“Then it’s settled, you’ll be meeting with Joker at ten today, every other day, or more if necessary. You’ll file reports after every session on how your patient is doing, and if we see any progress, well, we may just have to raise your salary.”
Now that catches your attention. You didn’t even know a raise was possible. Especially not for you. You’ve been working so hard your whole life for what feels like nothing but now? Now, maybe all that work will finally pay off. “Mr. Dale, thank you. Thank you so much-“
“Don’t get too excited. If our patient doesn’t show any progress, well… we might have to let you go.”
At that, your entire face falls, your shoulders slumping. “What…?”
“Well, we’ve been needing to make a few cuts on psychiatrists and anyone might be subject to getting kicked.” He smiles and pats your shoulder. “But don’t worry, I have full faith in you.”
His words do nothing to soothe you as your heart pounds heavily in your chest. The toughest patient, all your responsibility, and you have to make him better under a certain amount of time or else? Shit. They were practically setting you up for failure. No. No, you can’t think that way. You’ve dealt with tons of patients, and every single time you’ve managed to get good results. This will be the same thing… “It- it’s a wonderful opportunity, thank you. I won’t let you down.”
He laughs and walks off. “I sure hope not.”
___________________________
“I’m here to see the patient.”
The guard looks up at you through his sunglasses and smirks. He uses the gun in his hands to point at you, and you step back. “Ah, so you’re the one they decided on to fix up this lunatic?”
“We don’t refer to them as lunatics, sir. And, yes, I’m Doctor y/n l/n.” Digging into the bag on your shoulder, you pull out your ID and hand it to the guard.
He glances at it once, bored, before grabbing his walkie talkie. “It’s Doctor y/n l/n you’re expecting, correct?”
The garbled voice on the other side responds back. “Correct.”
The guard looks back up at you. “Gimme your bag, please.”
You’re a bit startled, but give him your bag. Already, before even getting to this checkpoint, you’ve been through two whole security checks, and were definitely not expecting another. This Joker guy really is trouble. That just makes you panic even more. Trouble is hard to tame. The guard rummages through the bag a bit before nodding and handing it back, clicking on his walkie talkie again. “Doctor is clear for entry.”
A click noise sounds, and the door opens, leading to yet another room with another door with two more guards standing beside it. You jump as the door behind you clamps shut, and the two guards hardly flinch. The one to the left moves forward, holding something out in his hand. “This is your panic remote. See the green button right there? Press that when you’re done with your session or you need to get out. Got it?”
You grab the remote, looking at it closer. “What about the red button?”
“That’ll set off a gas that’ll knock the Joker out cold.”
Oh. That doesn’t sound good. You’ve dealt with some pretty nasty people but nothing ever this intense, nothing that needed this level of precaution. “Okay… Wait, won’t the gas get to me too?”
The guard shrugs. “Eh, yeah, but you’ll be fine. The doctors will fix you right up.”
You tuck the remote away in your coat pocket. “Right. Thanks…”
The other guard who hasn’t spoken a word until now enters some kind of code into the pad on the door and it swings open. “Good luck, sweetheart.”
The nickname makes you cringe but you step forward and bow your head. “Mhm.”
As soon as you step inside, the door slams closed, and you’re left to face the man everyone has been whispering about.
And there he is, sitting behind a table, looking up at you. The first thing that strikes you is his face, which lacks any makeup, and you don’t know if it shocks you because you’ve only ever seen him with his makeup on or because he appears human. Not quite the monster he’s made up to be. His skin is slightly tanned, his eyes brown and dull, his hair curled and askew down to his neck. Although he doesn’t have his makeup, there’s faded green hair dye still at the tips of his hair. His signature purple coat and suit has been swapped for a straitjacket. You try to look only into his eyes, but instead you flush and look at his mouth. His mouth, gosh. Without the smeared red makeup, you can see his scars so clear, the mangled flesh titled up into a smile on either side of his lips. Whatever caused those was nasty. Always smiling.
Bringing yourself to move, you carry yourself to the table, sitting down in the chair across from him, and you try and pretend your heart isn’t hammering. As you sit down, his eyes trace your everything. It makes you feel like some kind of animal. Is he studying you? Plotting your death? Horrible, but who knows with a man who is all unknowns? You clear your throat. “Uh, hello there, Joker. Can I call you Joker?”
He frowns and licks at his lips, smacking them together. At first, you don’t think he’ll talk, but it just takes him a second. “Well, what else would ya call me?”
You’ve heard him speak before, on the television, in those frightening hostage videos, but it’s more chilling in person, his distinct voice causing you to shudder. If he notices, he doesn’t say anything. “R-right. Joker. I’m Doctor y/n l/n. Feel free to call me y/n, though.”
“Y/n,” he says slowly, as if tasting the name on his tongue. You resist shuddering again. “You’re the one they assigned to, ah, fix me up?”
You nod. “That’s me. But please, don’t think of it as fixing you. Think of it as helping you.”
“Help,” he spits out the word. “Whatever ya wanna call it. Sure. What ever happened to those other people they sent to see me the other night? They were all just so fun to play with.”
His words have a lot of bite behind them. Dale warned you about this. He was going to mess with you, and have fun doing it. “I believe they weren’t prepared to attend to you.”
“Awwww, did I hurt their feelings?” His voice is dripping with pure sarcastic sadness. He even feigns a frown. Then he breaks into a wide grin, giggling madly. “Well, if words are gonna hurt them that badly, maybe, uh, they’re in the wrong work field, huh?”
You make sure your face doesn’t move a bit. Play. It. Cool. Besides, progress doesn’t come from backing down. “We all have our strengths. It doesn’t matter what happened to them though, what matters is that I’m here now.”
“They really threw ya to the wolves, Miss l/n.” His tongue traces across his teeth. “Lucky for you, I won’t bite. Yet.”
You try very hard to ignore him. He probably does bite. “Today is gonna be a short meeting. Testing the waters. Now, we’ll be meeting every other day, so don’t feel like you need to open up to me immediately-”
“Me? Open up? If ya wanna open me up, you’re gonna need a big knife.” When your face falls, he leans forward and laughs harshly, a laugh laced with insanity. “Ha! Tough crowd, it seems.”
Already, he’s testing your patience. But you’ve faced worse. Or at least, you’ll pretend you have. “Mr. J, please-”
“Mr. J?” The Joker sits up straighter. “Heh, I like that. Makes me sound, uh, all fancy and stuff.”
“Mr. J,” you say again, this time harsher. “Today, I just want to get to know a bit about who you are. This is our first session so I’m not expecting too much. We don’t have to dive into the crimes, or your past, but I just wanna get to know a bit about you.”
He snorts. “Why?”
“I’m trying to help, Mr. J. I can’t help you if I don’t know… well, you. Not to mention, we have absolutely nothing on you. No files. No previous history. You’re a bit of a mystery.”
“Ah, a mystery.” He licks at his lips a few times before licking at the inside of his cheeks, no doubt tracing along his scars. “And you wanna solve me.”
“No, I just want to learn a bit more.” You reach into your bag and bring out your clipboard and a pen, clicking it once. “Now, where would you like to start? Maybe your childhood? Your job before your crimes?” His face contorts, and his nostrils begin to flare at such personal questions, so you try and tone it down. Before he lunges at me and chokes me to death. “It’s okay, we can start small. What are your interests?”
His shoulders drop a bit. He rocks back and forth in his seat, humming in thought. It’s weird, really, to see him like this. Not blowing something up, or filming himself raming about some kind of new evil plan he has. “Hmmm, well, I like, uh, a good joke every now and again. I like, hm, ah, a good tussle. Blades. TNT.”
You scribble it all down, right with a question mark and a frowny face. None of that sounds promising. “Right…”
“What’s wrong, doll? You seem…” He smiles gleefully. “Upset.” His T’s are pronounced harshly.
Doll. You should definitely correct him, to tell him to call you by your name, but you decide to let it slide. “No, I’m just… taking it all in. So you like weapons. Jokes. Is that how you decided on your name?”
He smacks his lips. “More or less.”
“Okay. Right. And the whole clown thing, your persona-?”
“Persona? Ha! This is aaaallllll me, dollface.”
“Right. So, the clown thing, how’d that come about? Your makeup, what’s the reason for it?” As you say it, your eyes fall to his scars, the way his lips lick along the very edge of them, and when he catches sight of this, he glares.
“Ah ah ah,” he coos darkly. “We won’t be getting into that today.”
You swallow hard. “Okay. It’s fine. One day at a time.”
He nods and leans forward, and it’s like his eyes can see into your very soul. “Ah, enough about me, huh, doll? Tell me about little ol’ you.”
You frown. “We’re not here to talk about me, Mr. J.”
“Oh, you’re not, but I would like to hear a thing or two about the person I'll be spending lots of, uh, personal time with.”
The way he says personal time, with an almost ferociousness to it, makes you break out in goosebumps, and you’re thankful for the coat covering your arms. “Hm, fine. What do you want to know?”
“Oh, ya know, a bit of this, a bit of that.” He tosses his head around. “How’d you end up in a shithole like Arkham?”
You take a deep breath. Does he seriously care to know? Or is he messing with you? Knowing what you know about him, you’re sure it’s the latter. “Well, it’s always been my passion to be a psychiatrist. I love Gotham and I wanna help its people.”
Joker leans back. “Hmmm, you’re one of those little doctors, huh? Wanna get everyone all fixed up so you can feel like a little saint?”
That takes you aback. You resist the urge to glare. Stay calm. You’re trying to help. “No, I don’t want to be a saint. I just want to-“
“Make yourself feel better? Wanna, uh, be able to give yourself a pat on the back and say ‘look at how amazing I am’? Puh-lease. Nobody really wants to help because they’re selfless.” He leans in. “We’re all selfish, every last one of us. So don’t lie. Nobody likes a liar.”
If you were anyone else, you might have wavered. So this is what they meant when they said Joker was a tough case. He had flipped the tables and started trying to analyze you. Well, you were tough enough, and you weren’t going to back down. You look him right in the eye. “You have a very interesting world view, Mr. J. But if I was just doing this for myself, we wouldn’t be seated here today.”
“Oh, but you didn’t choose to be here, they stuck ya in with me.” His eyes widen. “Seems your bosses aren’t too fond of ya, doll. Or are you just so stuck beneath their boots that you didn’t even question them?”
Now he was really reading you. How could he tell? Was he just that good at digging into people, or were you just too much of an open book? Whatever it was, you pushed it aside. Don’t give in. You’re not doing this for your bosses, you’re doing this for you. “You’re very observant. But again, we’re not here to analyze me. We’re here to talk about you.”
He shrugs. “Whatever you wanna say, doll. But don’t worry,” he says, licking his lips, “I’ll figure you out before you even get anywhere with me. In fact, I think I’m already getting a good guess.”
“Please, Mr. J, I’m the psychiatrist here. Now, our session is coming to an end-”
“Pity.”
“-but I have one last question before our session ends.”
“Go ahead, doll.”
“If you were to describe yourself in one word, what would you use?”
“Ha! Easy. Chaos.”
“And, why does this word define you? Why do you want to be chaos? What do you get out of it?”
He shakes his head. “Ah ta ta, that’s more than one question, doll face. Now, before you leave, lemme, uh, ask you the same thing. What word would you use to describe me?”
His question takes you slightly off guard. There were tons of things you could say. Insane. Wild. Crazy. But those would describe the Joker he was outside, the man that fought the Batman. Whoever you were looking at now was clearly more than that. “Intriguing.”
With that, the Joker's face split into a wide smile. “Ah, now that’s a new one. I think I might actually come to enjoy these, ah, little sessions.” He tilts his head. “I expect you’ll be going now?”
You reach into your purse and grab the remote. “Yes, Mr. J. Thank you for your time. I’ll see you soon, okay?”
He’s smiling so wide now, the tips of his scars almost touch his ears. There’s something about his smile. It’s not horrible, not at all. It’s mesmerizing.
“I can’t wait.”
___________________________
That night you can’t go to bed, but not for the same reasons as usual.
Most nights, as you settle down, you’re pulled from sleep by the phantom echoes of the screaming of Arkham patients. Other nights, you’re up for hours thinking of different ways to help your patients. But tonight, you can’t be bothered to think about anyone but the Joker. Dale was right. Already, he’s creeping into your mind, settling beneath your skin. You should be frightened, really, but your mind just wanders with fascination. No, you definitely will not be getting sleep tonight. Instead, you grab your laptop and type in your patient's name. If he won't tell you anything himself, then you’ll get to the bottom of it.
You end up reading about him for hours. Intriguing, indeed.
End notes: see you next time ;)
#dc joker#joker x reader#L! joker x reader#ledger joker x reader#heath ledger joker#ledger joker#dark knight joker#dark knight joker x reader#Heath ledger joker x reader#dark knight#dark knight fanfic
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I’ve talked about this before but imagine what it’s like for someone in a country/place where eliot is Top Most Wanted and then your tech guy finds a breakout star baseball player on their visual scanner that looks EXACTLY like spencer. but…there’s no way that’s him, right???
and then the next year it happens again but this time it’s some one hit wonder country singer kenneth crane that has like 78 tween-run fangirl blogs dedicated to him. you see a grainy video of him being chased by a horde of screaming teenage girls and ??? no way Eliot Last Thing You’ll Ever See Spencer is a country singer star just. signing pictures of his face right…?
a few months later your intern shows you footage of an eliot lookalike who is in san lorenzo talking about how there is dog fighting in the presidential palace and you just. sigh. because of course. a scant few days later the political geography of the country changes drastically and damien moreau is imprisoned. …interesting
and then a year of silence goes by. he still shows up as blips on the radar but he must have a good hacker working for him because his tracks on the internet are expertly erased.
every time you ask through interagency channels some random interpol guy talks in (condescending?) riddles at you and it also somehow feels like he’s threatening you
and then your friend who recently got into foreign hockey teams sends you a dropyourgloves video of someone called jacques the bear. you immediately get a headache (and watch some more videos because even you can admit this guy is a good hockey player)
and you know he’s a Bad Guy but it’s been admittedly a bit entertaining seeing what claim to fame he will come upon next. and his most recent actions over the few years make you wonder.
a few months later your phone pings because multiple heads of state evacuated from DC. the reason? eliot spencer was in town. you hear two days later a bioterrorist was taken down by… the report was redacted. your hacker tells you spencer and two teammates were behind the successful operation. which, huh.
not even a full year later it is released that spencer is dead and… you don’t know how to feel.
#sorry this turned kinda angsty I just think eliot famousaliases spencer is a great reoccurring joke#eventually an indeterminate amount of months later you see him pop up again and you breathe#at this point all the intel you’ve gotten points that he’s actually doing something good with his life#like he’s changed. and you know he’s a bad guy but he’s doing things that nobody else is really capable of doing. making changes on large#and small scales#he will face consequences eventually you are sure. but his tracks are so well covered already and he’s so slippery so maybe. maybe you just#don’t make your agents work so hard to track him down#you get to know sterling a bit better (and maybe understand him a bit better too)#sterling invites you to an off the books lunch at this brewpub in portland when you’re in the states. the head chef looks familiar#it’s the best food you’ve ever tasted. because OF COURSE it is#at this point you’re not even angry. or resigned anymore. you’re slightly impressed#anyways that’s how sterling’s leverage club gains another member#(mcsweeten was the second member btw. if you’ve seen my other posts)#eliot spencer#eliot spencer meta#headcanons#humor#leverage#jim sterling#(mentioned)#the studio job#the blue line job#the three strikes job#ficlets#mine#a post not on my queue??? more likely than you think#I should make a tag for in universe pov posts#into the leverage verse#headcanons in the tags#the rundown job
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Honestly, I don’t know what I want the relationship with Cap and Billy to be.
Because I get why some people want them to be wholly separate beings. It just makes sense that Marvel is completely nonhuman. That he’s just magic given form.
But I don’t entirely like that conclusion. To me, it takes away the fact that billy is responsible for all those lives saved. That he is the one sacrificing his time and putting his life on the line. That he is the one getting all this trauma. Making them separate takes that all away for me.
But there’s also the issue that new52 dc doesn’t do that right either. When Cap and Billy ARE the same, Cap acts like a stupid kid, an overgrown child. I mean that’s not it completely. I have an entire separate issue with how New52 handles Billy’s personality and lore, but we can’t get into that rn or this rant will go on forever.
And the thing is DC DOES know how to handle Cap and Billy being the same(or not the same, but like Cap is Billy with…more. He’s Billy, but he’s also magic itself. Like a fusion of sorts. He has memories and some of his personality, but he doesn’t act like an idiot).
I mean, look at JL Unlimited. Despite Cap still acting somewhat childish, it never goes overboard. He’s even admired by his fellow Leaguers. Hell, BATMAN says the League needs him because of how sunny he is! And sure, while there’s some childishness in the YJ cartoon, it’s not cringy(at least to me, because when you see what they did to him in JL:Throne of Atlantis…)
There’s that one other movie with Superman and Batman that I can’t remember the name of, where some heroes are going after Superman for a reason I ALSO can’t remember. Cap is one of them, and he never once acts like a stupid kid. He, like those other heroes, doesn’t have the whole picture, and that’s why he’s attacking Supes.
Thwre is a way to have Cap and Billy be the same entity, have the same memories, but also be somewhat different. There is a way to make sure that Billy is shown to be responsible for the lives he saves. There is a way to give Cap respect in this universe because it has been done before. New52 needs to work on that or we’ll have this issue forever🙄.
It almost makes me glad we don’t have a Shazam/Captain Marvel tv show because gods know what they might do to him. I’m telling you, we have had the “child gets given tremendous responsibility and fucks up” schtik over and over and over for the past century and probably more. It’s been done. So many times.
Cap was a beloved hero in the 1940s and pre-52 BECAUSE he didn’t adhere to that. Because the writers made sure we knew he was capable of being responsible and a hard worker, and not an idiot, all while being like 10. And in recent years it has STILL been done.
It is possible. Just do it right!
#billy batson#captain marvel#shazam#dc#dc universe#my issues with new-52#when I find those writers#justice league#young justice#he’s not stupid#he is actually very responsible#dc comics#sorry for the rant#I needed to get this#off my chest
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