#look I have many feelings about this au okay!

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | ten.

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 5.1k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, the dots are being connected!! soooo many run-ins and slip-ups 😭, alcohol consumption and intoxication, someone gets a lil too aggressive with oc, confrontation, some pushing / getting in each other’s faces lol, someone actually catches san x oc—OOP, namjoon is stressed, jongho too actually lmao, lots of assumptions, sorry if i missed anything!!

"So, how was it?" Jiung asks, walking alongside of you as the two of you slowly walk over to the Gates Biology Building, where Yunho's class was being held. You sip on your cup of coffee, dragging your feet while you look ahead to the building in view.

"What, the conference?" Jiung nods. "It was okay! Nothing too fancy."

"You didn't see any other people there?"

"Not really, no. I think this was a relatively smaller conference compared to the others."

"Did you get to talk to Professor Choi much?" He looks down at his feet, wondering if you'd open up about anything that could potentially give him clues. But, you resort to a simple—

"Nope." Jiung is looking at your necklace now. "Just said hi in passing." You avoid eye contact.

"I see." He tries to read your body language but it isn't giving him anything. He's just not sure why you're keeping it so vague and brief, though. That's unusual. Plus, the fact that you can barely maintain eye contact with him. "That's a nice necklace, by the way. Is it new?" He points at it.

"Mhm. I got it down there." You touch the necklace with a small smile.

"It's cute. It suits you."

"That's what the lady told us—" You catch yourself. "Me, too. I mean." Jiung furrows his brows.

"Us?"

"The other shoppers around." You quickly throw out just as you get to the front of the Gates Biology Building. "Thanks for walking me." You playfully ruffle his hair and he chuckles.

"Mmyeah. See you later for the happy hour event?" You nod.

"Have a good rest of your day." You wave him off as you walk backwards and head into the lobby. He stands there for a second, waiting until you fully disappear into the elevator and off to the classroom, turning on his heel while replaying the conversation in his head.

You don't feel the same to him, and he knows it's because you're hiding something. You weren't always great at lying or keeping up with a façade because that just wasn't you. For you to be doing it means there's something tied to it that means a lot to you, something you're trying to protect, and Jiung is now convinced that something is Professor Choi.

It's only a matter of time until he finds out one way or another, and he's not sure how to feel about it. It could either go badly or end up worse; he's afraid you'll end up hurt at the end of it, and he's afraid everything you've worked for will be taken away from you so, so quickly.

Meanwhile, when you drag yourself into the classroom, you're startled by the sight of Yunho on his laptop, sitting at the table in front of the classroom.

"Oh, hey!" He says, typing away. "Hope you don't mind me joining in for journal club today." You shrug with a small chuckle, setting your things off to the side while Yunho comfortably sits back in the chair. Your eyes quickly skim his get-up for today, which is pretty casual: dark jeans, a long sleeve top and chucks. He doesn't say much while you're getting things ready on the projector, typing away on his phone in between scanning your figure. He's trying to see if anything looks or feels off with you, and so far, it doesn't.

San is careful as can be, he supposes.

"It is your class, Professor Jeong." He smiles a bit and nods.

"So, how was your weekend?" You yawn into your arm and shrug. 

"It was okay. I came back from a trip. Felt too short."

"Mm." Yunho hums. "Where'd you go, if you don't mind me asking?" He's eyeing your features as you sift through your notes.

"Just drove out a few hours with my mom." You avoid eye contact as you go through today's paper and prepare some discussion points for class.

"Oh." Yunho nods. "That sounds nice." His eyes land on your necklace and it looks too familiar— which is probably because he almost bought that same necklace for Iseul on Hiro this past weekend.

Maybe San isn't all that careful cause he swears he sees the faint hickey at the base of your neck from this angle. The longsleeve top you're wearing covers it for the most part, if you're paying attention.

"What about you?" You look at him and see that his eyes have landed on your necklace before they move up to meet your eyes.

"I was actually at Hiro for a couple of things, then went to the BAS conference for a bit." Your heart drops and suddenly, the room feels incredibly hot. You completely avoid eye contact with him now, sifting through your notes to finalize the discussion points for today. "I thought I saw you there with San."

"No?" Is all you manage to say, but it's enough for Yunho to catch onto everything.

"You weren't?" You look at him, and his expression is blank. All you can do is pretend to play it off and shake your head, hoping he'd let it go.

"Not me." Your response is barely above a whisper, and all Yunho can do is let out a breath. He knows.

"Y/N." His expression switches and you can see the concern on his face. "Can I ask—"

"Morning Professor Jeong and Y/N!" A student comes in and plops into his usual seat, followed by another student, and another. 

Thank god.

"Sorry, you were saying?" You look at him cluelessly, making him shake his head in response.

"Nothing. I'll let you take it from here." He gives you a small smile, eyes now glued onto the students ahead. You give them a few minutes, waiting for the stragglers to trickle in and get settled before you call their attention to the front and begin today's journal club paper discussion.

Yunho, for the most part, keeps to himself during class, chiming in when he wants to clarify a point or to encourage the class to bring more discussion to the table. Yunho thinks you're a great TA, and he sees that the students are comfortable with you. He hates that he's so conflicted because of many things: one, he's not sure entirely about the situation. Two, his gut feeling makes him feel sure but he doesn't know how to approach it. Three, he knows you're an incredibly bright and smart person— you'd get along with anyone and truly, he hasn't had any issues with you despite his last minute requests for classes or assignments.

Four, maybe he just needs to let this go and stop meddling.

Five, you would've known what you were getting into right?

But, he's reminded otherwise when class wraps up an hour and 15 minutes later— a brutal reminder otherwise. He sees you packing up and getting your things together, clinging onto your phone just as you grab your bag and sling it over your shoulder. As you turn on your heel, you almost collide straight into Iseul.

You look at her, and she looks at you.

Her eyes glaze over your features, landing on your neck, that necklace.

"Excuse—" You try to brush past her, but she gives you a small smile and steps in your way.

"Hi Y/N, how's class with Yunho been?" You look at her because you have never spoken a word to her, nor did you have a reason to. But, out of respect [especially on campus], you give her a faint smile before responding.

"Good." You simply respond as she nods.

"And how's your rotation with San? Sure he's been treating you well?" She tilts her head to the side, almost like she's mocking you. Almost like the answer is written all over your face, your neck; her eyes are there again and you can't help but tug up and adjust your top more.

"Very." 

"That's good to hear, I expected as much. He's pretty good about building relationships with his lab members." She gives you a small smirk before stepping aside, slowly making her way to Yunho behind you. He stands there, hand slipped into his pocket while he cocks his brow at her. You don't even take another moment to look at them, instead quickly walking out of the room to text San and make your way over to your next class of the day.

you: san.

san: uh oh. lol what did i do? 😅

you: no it's not that. ☹️

san: what is it, baby? do you wanna come into my office in a bit? i'm wrapping up at the faculty meeting.

you: no, it's okay. i just finished class with yunho and i think he knows. well, him and iseul.

san: what, why do you say that?

san: not like i care about what they have to say or whatever.

you: san, you should. 🫤

san: alright, i'm sorry. you're right. but what did they say, baby? do you wanna wait until i see you later?

you: yunho just said he thought he saw us at the BAS conference, but i know he did. his tone and look said so. he was just trying to get it out of me. and iseul.. i don't know. it was just weird.

san: we'll talk about this later tonight then, okay? it'll be okay. don't worry about them.

you: okay. 🥺 are you going to the happy hour thing?

san: wasn't planning on it but i know namjoon's text is gonna come sooner or later. going with your friends?

you: mhm. i'll see you later tonight if you don't go?

san: soooo long. wanna pop into my office in a bit? 

you: sannie. lol i'm headed to my next class then i'm going to meet up with jiung and them afterwards.

san: for 2 seconds. 😭

You playfully roll your eyes and smile as you text back, already walking over to class.

you: you're still wrapping up at the faculty meeting and i'm headed to class. i don't think we'll have 2 seconds, professor choi.

san: booooooo.

you: see you later. 😙

san: ☹️ mean.

You giggle to yourself, tucking your phone into your pocket as you head to class; forgetting the tense, awkward moments that just occurred between Yunho and Iseul.

"Why'd you have to do that, hm?" Yunho asks her, grabbing his bag from the floor before walking alongside of her.

"Was just trying to see how she'd react. I'm sure she didn't tell you anything about her trip?"

"No. Said she went away with her mom for the weekend, so." Iseul chuckles.

"Of course. Someone I know said they definitely saw San leaving with her at the conference. Kinda makes sense now, doesn't it?" She looks up at him. "Y/N folded when I mentioned him, her body language completely changed."

"Iseul." Yunho looks at her. "What are you trying to do here? All I was gonna do was ask her, not interrogate or attack her."

"I'm trying to get you to do the right thing. They're dating, Yunho. It's obvious. I saw the way she tugged on her top, too. I'm sorry but she's not slick." He sighs.

"I don't know, I don't wanna start this whole thing. What if it isn't even that serious, or what if we're completely wrong—"

"Everything about this is serious regardless of what angle you look at it. It's wrong." She says. "You don't have to talk to San, but I will. They need to know." He sighs heavily, no longer knowing how to respond to her about the whole issue.

You meet up with your friends outside in the middle of the Harvey Center courtyard, where all the activities are set up appropriately for the happy hour event taking place. They've got cornhole competitions set up on the lawn nearby, another station to decorate university tumblers, and another for quick but fun board games. They've got a bunch of pizza boxes sitting out on tables, beer and canned wine next to it. You and your friends help yourself to a few slices before grabbing your drinks of choice for the night. They've got string lights to add to the atmosphere, the evening being clear but chilly.

"Finally! We relax all together again!" Felix says, tapping his can against yours before you all drink and start to indulge in tonight's happy hour festivities. 

"Our baby's finally here, too!" Eunchae squeezes you, hugging you tightly and making you laugh as she clings onto your arm.

"I know, Y/N. You've been so MIA." Felix looks at you with his usual puppy eyes, bottom lip slightly poking out. "What's been going on?"

"I've been busy with the lab, honestly. Trying to put in as much work as I can before the rotation ends."

"It's like you're practically living there." Felix jokes.

"How come you haven't been working with Sunwoo, though? He said you've been on your own schedule and stuff." Jiung asks.

"We're just focusing on different aspects right now. Plus, I've been trying to help Belle out as much as I can, too."

"Okay but, make time for us, too. Live your life!" Eunchae preaches. "You're here with us now, so let's enjoy it." So, you do. You do exactly that with your friends and a bunch of other people who swung by from different departments. Today's happy hour event is the liveliest you've ever seen it— tons of friends and people swarming from different departments and areas just to take a break from everything and mingle.

You and your friends hang out with familiar and new faces, all of you sitting around and drinking while one half played games and the others talked about school, work. Life. San and his friends join eventually, talking to a few students as they hang around amongst themselves. You giggle to yourself seeing San put on a face cause it's obvious he's not entirely in the mood. But, he's here. So, are his friends; Professor Kim being the social butterfly out of them all, per usual.

"So, Y/N. Tell me about the stuff you've been doing in Professor Choi's lab. I heard you've been up to some crazy stuff from Sunwoo and Belle." Hae-jin, a postdoc in another lab, pulls his chair closer to yours and looks you in the eye. At first, the conversation is fun, it's lively. You're in good spirits conversing with the guy, laughing and poking fun at campus life and being a grad student vs. postdoc.

But, Hae-jin keeps drinking.

And he keeps drinking.

Then his true intentions start coming out and you're no longer having a good time talking to the guy.

A few people are drunk enough to start a fun little dance floor in the middle of the courtyard while the speakers blast music, Eunchae, Felix and Jiung also grabbing you to join them as you sing along to the song. You facetime call Jurin while she's away, letting her know much you miss her. The call ends after 5 minutes, Jurin sadly waving while she heads off to dinner with her parents for their anniversary celebration.

"I'm gonna grab some water." You tuck your phone in your pocket, heading straight to the water table nearby.

"I was looking for you, cute stuff!" Hae-jin throws his arm around you and you can smell the alcohol lingering on his breath. "Wanna dance?"

"No, I'm good, Hae-jin." You shrug him off and take another sip of water before tossing your cup. San is already on high alert from where he's standing— his attention nowhere on Namjoon, Jongho or Zara right now even though he's trying his hardest to keep it together.

The fuck was this guy doing?

"What, why? It's just for fun? Let's just go and hang out." He throws his arm around you again, this time bringing you flush to his body. You try to press off his chest, but he's strong and it isn't an easy fight.

"Hae-jin, stop—"

"What's wrong?" Luckily, Eunchae is already on her way over to save you, sensing your distress signal from afar.

"Hey, stop." Eunchae senses the way you stiffen and quickly become uncomfortable. "Leave her alone." Eunchae pushes Hae-jin back roughly. "You're drunk, dude. She said no."

"Aw come on, bestie trying to get in the way? I just thought we could have a dance. We were connecting, Y/N. Were we not?"

"Hae-jin, stop—No." His hand comes to your waist again. But, before Eunchae can even jump in, another familiar voice does:

"She said no." San steps in the middle, hand lightly pressed against his chest to create some distance. "Sure you understand what that means, right?" San's tone is laced with anger, but he's wearing a cocky smirk to cover it up. He's fuming and you know it.

"Professor Choi." You quietly say behind him with Eunchae still next to you, but he doesn't respond to it.

"San." Christopher is trying to hold him back by the shoulder, doing his best to reel him back in. "What's going on?"

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you. You do understand what no means, right?" San asks again, his voice louder as he shrugs off Chris.

"Wow, relax. I didn't think I was coming off that disrespectful. She seemed interested so I was only playing her game—" San steps forward and your heart drops to your ass because what the fuck does he think he's doing right now?

"Kinda looked like you were forcing yourself on her, though." San cocks his head to the side. "Dunno if that really counts as her being interested." 

"San. Bring it back." Chris repeats. "The hell do you think you're doing right now?" He mutters lowly.

"San." You help by calling for him again, causing Hae-jin to knit his brows in confusion [along with Eunchae and Chris]. His eyes dart from you, to San, back to you, before responding.

"And how does it make any better that you're getting all worked up over her, Professor? Care to fill us in—"Hae-jin smirks a bit, causing San to push him back by the chest aggressively. But, before Hae-jin can even react properly, he's interrupted.

"San!" It's not just your voice calling out for him; it's Jongho's, it's Namjoon's, it's Christopher's. Namjoon is quick to step in between, creating distance between Hae-jin and San, giving San a very, very stern look once he dismisses Hae-jin to the side. You faintly hear Namjoon tell him to leave if he still plans to stir trouble, in which his friend tugs him to the side and apologizes on his behalf before they leave the event all together. You watch as Namjoon, Chris and Jongho move San to the opposite end, San's eyes wandering to you as if Namjoon isn't in front of him trying to get to the bottom of things.

"The hell just happened? Are you guys okay?" Felix asks as him and Jiung come over after playing a competitive game of cornhole with another duo of grad students.

"Bro, Hae-jin was getting all handsy and wouldn't take no for answer." Eunchae rolls her eyes, keeping you by her side and brushing your hair back. "Fucking creep. I wish Professor Choi actually decked his ass."

"I saw him getting in the middle." Felix adds. 

"What's that about?" Jiung looks at you, but you don't really respond. You know he's not asking about Hae-jin. You know he's asking about San in particular.

"He deserved it, that's what. Being a whole dumbass with no boundaries. Learn how to control yourself, asshole!" She yells, hoping Hae-jin hears it even though him and his friends are all further away.

"I'm gonna head to the bathroom."

"Want me to come?" Eunchae asks and you shake your head.

"I'm good. Promise. Just needa break the seal again and take a little breather." Eunchae smiles a bit before squeezing and letting go of your hand. 

On the other hand, Namjoon and Jongho finally find a better spot to speak with San at. Chris is honestly confused about the whole situation, being that he's never seen San outwardly act out that way even throughout his bad days. Jongho, on the other hand, knows exactly why and he knew it from the moment Hae-jin started drinking more and getting close to you.

Maybe he should've helped calm him down. He knew San's attention was on you and no one else.

"San." Namjoon calls him again to bring his attention back to him. "I know damn well— what the hell are you doing putting your hands on a postdoc like that at a campus event?"

"He was getting disrespectful, I know you saw that."

"I did, but you could've handled it with a lot more grace, San. This isn't the time nor place to get worked up like that. You don't get into fights on campus as a professor."

"I'm sorry."

"Was that really all that triggered it? Is there something else going on?" San looks at the floor and shakes his head, jaw ticking as he tries to calm himself down.

"No sir. I shouldn't have reacted that way." Namjoon doesn't believe it one bit, but he won't add more fuel to the fire right now.

"I don't think he'll go crying to the dean so consider yourself lucky. Please don't pull that shit again around these students. Promise me. You've got enough to deal with as is." San sighs heavily and nods.

"You're right, I'm sorry, Joon." Namjoon just gives him a small nod before letting out a breath and walking off to the side.

"Are you okay? I've never seen you that angry." Chris asks, confused about why San reacted the way he did.

"Yeah." 

"Excuse us." Jongho says as he lightly pushes him by the shoulder, a little irritated at how incredibly stupid he's being. "Bro." He adds when he gets him alone. "What did I tell you?"

"He was putting his hands on her! I wasn't gonna let him disrespect her."

"Because she's your girlfriend?" Pause. 

"That's besides the point, Jongho. He wasn't taking no for an answer and was forcing himself onto her."

"You could've just asked him to leave. He would have listened if you had just approached it properly." San doesn't listen, though. Instead, he clicks his teeth and whips out his phone to text you because he doesn't see you anywhere. "San. Don't." Jongho warns him, trying to keep the peace and the suspicion down. "Can't you just talk to her later? Shit will not help your case if someone sees you two. Think about this."

san: baby, where are you? 

you: i'm going to the bathroom.

san: can you meet me behind the building, near the first, back west wing door?

you: is that a good idea?

san: really quickly. please.

you: i'll be there in a sec.

"Be right back." He looks at Jongho before walking into the building and out to the back door near the bathrooms. 

"San." Jongho calls for him again before clicking his teeth. This dude was gonna stress him the fuck out, no doubt.

"Jongho?" Namjoon looks at him and all he can do is shrug. 

"I really don't know what to tell you." Jongho and Namjoon's eyes travel around to see if everyone is still looking at the scene. "Whatever it is, it isn't my story to tell, Joon."

"Is everything okay?" Zara cuts in, concerned about San. She also witnessed the entire thing go down and unfortunately, it's just another reminder, another confirmation, of your relationship with him. It still aches her heart, even though a tiny part of her is selfishly holding onto hope that they'd work out in the end.

Not you two.

"Yeah, should be." Namjoon gives her a small smile. "Don't worry about it. He's just having an off night." Iseul and Yunho are quietly observing from the opposite end of the courtyard, still mid-discussion with other colleagues. They do try to bring their attention back to the discussion and away from San thankfully; however, Yunho knows Iseul definitely won't let it go at this point.

After you head to the bathroom, you wash your hands and fix your hair a bit, hands slightly shaking from the entire encounter. You take a few deep breaths before heading out towards the back door of the west wing, which is only a few steps away from the bathroom area on the first floor. As soon as you step outside, San is there with his hands in his pockets. He immediately pulls you in for a hug, one that you don't reciprocate, especially because you're on campus. You gently push him back and shake your head, bottom lip slightly poking out in a pout.

"Baby—"

"Not here." You softly say. There's a small pause before you let out a sigh and address the elephant in the room. "San, you didn't have to do that."

"Well, the hell was I supposed to do? Let him touch you without your consent? He was making you uncomfortable, Y/N. Over my dead fuckin' body—"

"Can't you think for a second? You're on campus!"

"I don't get why you're upset with me for just trying to protect you."

"There were better ways to do it."

"Angel." He says in defeat. "I'm sorry. I'm not gonna sit back and let someone disrespect you like that. Namjoon will be fine—"

"It's not even that, it's everyone else—"

"So be it! For all I fucking care." 

"San, stop saying that." 

"No, why? Are you really upset with me?" He cuts in and asks, almost caging you in while he looks at you softly. It's taking everything in you to not just kiss him right here, right now. Wrap your arms around him, tell him to forget every little fucking thing because all that matters is you and him; on that us against the world type shit—

"Y/N?" You turn when you hear the door pop open and another figure is in your peripherals. Jiung is there, confused about the two of you being together. 

In the back.

San's face, body, in close proximity to yours.

Both of your expressions are telling.

"What're you doing? I thought you were going to the bathroom?" San steps back, attention shifting towards his feet. 

"I'll talk to you later." Is all he says before brushing past you and Jiung, back to Jongho in the main courtyard.

"Jiung." You come towards him. "You didn't have to come looking for me." You brush past him to head back to the courtyard, and Jiung can't help but keep his eyes on San for a second longer before he's coming after you and grabbing your wrist.

Fuck, San thinks. This whole night is so fucked up. He doesn't even know if you're mad at him or not.

He doesn't know what this means.

"Y/N, don't you think we should talk?"

"About what?"

"Stop." He swings you around to face him. "That's enough. What the hell is going on with you and Professor Choi?"

"Jiung—"

"I know you haven't been telling the truth, so please stop. Be honest with me, that's all I ask." You sigh shakily, bottom lip trembling as you fiddle with your fingers. Jiung knew, and tonight probably solidified everything he had questioned, felt, assumed. There was no getting away from it, not from Jiung. 

"We've been seeing each other." His eyes widen in surprise.

"So, Sunwoo wasn't lying when he said he didn't see you during the NAS conference." You feel the tears pricking at your lids as you shake your head. "You were with him." He lets out a breath. "Who else knows?"

"No one else. Please don't mention it to them cause I'm not ready to do that talk with them yet." He doesn't even answer, but the next question throws you so off-guard you don't even know how to properly react.

"D-did Professor Choi force you into this? Is he making you do stuff in order to secure your spot in his lab? Y/N, if he's—" You step back and look at him disbelief.

"W-what? That's the first thing you thought of?" Now, it's his turn to look at you in disbelief because how is he supposed to know? He sees the surface level of it and obviously, everything about it is wrong.

"He's a professor, Y/N. Not just any, but yours. Your rotation PI."

"I know it seems wrong, but that's not what it is at all."

"Seems wrong? It is." He flatly says. "This could literally fuck up everything for the both of you. Did you not think about that?"

"I'm not stupid, Jiung. I knew what I was getting into." You back up. "And why would you think of him that way? He'd never do that."

"How am I supposed to know? I know him as a professor—"

"Well, he would never do that."

"I'm sorry? I'm just worried and am making sure you're okay as your friend."

"I told you it was fine. It's not like that and we both agreed on this."

"Okay?" Jiung retorts, hurt by the defensive tone you have.

"I'm just gonna say bye to everyone and head back."

"I can walk—"

"It's fine."

"Why are you hella angry with me?" Jiung stops you again. "You can't actually be angry at me for caring about you."

"I don't need you to do that, Jiung. And I don't need you to start assuming all this shit about me and Professor Choi. You don't know him, and you obviously don't know me if you think I'm someone who could be forced around like that."

"That was not even my point, I was just—"

"Whatever." You say, brushing him off as you walk towards your friends and start gathering your things.

"You're leaving!?" Eunchae pouts. "Fucking Hae-jin and his kill-joy ass!"

"I'm just tired, is all. You stay and have fun, okay?"

"You sure? I can walk you—"

"Please. I promise. Have fun." You reassure her before saying your goodbyes to the rest of the group and walking off. 

"Is she okay? Did something happen between her and Professor Choi?" Felix cocks up a brow. "Is there something going on?"

"Nah." Jiung says, plopping down onto a chair. It's easy to see he's defeated, and it's easy to pick up on the mood change. Eunchae and Felix quietly sit around, sipping on the last bits of their drinks before setting the cans aside and scrolling through social media to talk about random things—

Just to let the weirdness pass.

On the other hand, San can see you from where he's standing and he feels his stomach drop. He doesn't wanna see you walk alone, he doesn't wanna be this way with you, he doesn't want Jiung to get upset or make things worse for you.

He doesn't know what to do.

"Maybe we should head out." Jongho chimes in, watching San text away.

"In a sec."

san: y/n, don't walk alone. where are your friends?

you: staying behind.

san: you want me to pick you up?

you: no. i think i should stay home.

san: baby, we need to talk about this.

you: and it won't be tonight. i think we both just need to step back and take a breather, okay? too many things happened and i just need to be in my own space.

san: did you and jiung fight?

you: i'll talk to you later.

san: baby, come on.

Because it's true— this was getting sloppier and even though you could care less, you needed to think. Do better. Be better about this with San.

Though, you're scared and you know it's about to unravel quick. Tonight definitely didn't help that case whatsoever.

You just needed a moment away from everyone.

—read 10.5 here

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme

[jambalaya-enthusiast]

okay.....inhales...... UNIVERSITY AU!!!!!! Crew members as university professors x student! Reader who has a massive, explosive, crush on them!!!!

💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻

TEACHERS PET— Professor! Crew Members x Student! Reader who has a massive crush on them!

warnings: college! AU, student/teacher relationship dynamics, power dynamics, reader is 18. No NSFW in this one,jimmy being manipulative, the characters being a little inappropriate.

note: y'all want a part 2? I can make one where the reader proposes, and then one with relationship dynamics and how it would play out. angst maybe? Lemme know.

PROF. GRANT CURLY

He would be the professor of data science/and or aerospace engineering, with astrophysics.

Extremely well liked at the University, students and teachers alike look up to him due to his approachable demeanor and calm and respectable nature.

Very responsible as an authoritative figure, in his years of expertise, he's never had a single complaint ever come in from the board or from any student/guardian.

Which is why he basically fell into a dilemma when you one of his top students, started looking at him in a way that he was sure wasn't platonic.

Curly is very strict on keeping his personal and professional life apart.

He tried to convince himself, that it was just a puppy crush and it would soon go away.

But boy oh boy, nothing had prepared him for the day that you snuck into his office in the pretense of asking subject related questions.

He could practically feel your eyes being fixated on him, it didn't help how you were so devastatingly attractive either.

He doesn't wanna risk his career, and your educational prowess.

But God, He doesn't know how he's going to handle this predicament he's gotten himself into.

PROF. JIMMY ZARE

Oh boy. Oh dear.

He's a Psychology Professor fasho.

You've chosen the wrong older man to fall in love, this guy is literally the man LDR sings about.

Sure, he was probably the strictest and sternest professor on campus grounds, but he was also... The sexiest one, and he didn't even hide the fact that he didn't know how many young adults in the institution were practically drooling over him. His rough stud persona.

He never paid them any attention, sure he dropped in flirty smiles and winks every now and then to get the girls weak in their knees, but that all stopped when he laid his eyes on you.

you were this young, bright, cheery and oh so beautiful student, who happened to look at him in a way which he wasn't unfamiliar with.

He knew you were falling, hard.

Normally, he would of just ignored your desperate attempts at getting to know him, telling you off or extreme case just sleep with you to fulfill your desires of extra credits.

But no, you weren't looking at him entirely for lust, oh no no no.

He recognised that you were madly, deeply, in love.

And to him, you just seemed so tempting.

Like an angel whose wings he had to rip apart, a beautiful doll whose innocence he had to taint.

And he isn't quite sure if he's going to pass out on the opportunity.

PROF. ANYA MARINOVA

Psychology/Biology professor.

Extremely sweet, yet extremely stern, like curly, she prefers to keep her work and professional life separate.

She understands body language really well, so she was quick to catch onto your lingering eyes on her.

She acknowledges the fact that having romantic feelings for an authoritative figure is completely normal and part of a normal human psyche.

What she doesn't,is to act upon those feelings.

When she noticed you staying back during classes

She tries to play it coy, not giving you any attention.

But at one point, she begins to question even her morals.

Maybe it's not too bad? Time will tell.

PROF. SWANSEA HAROLD

Definitely the professor of Mechanical Engineering/Computer Engineering.

The typical no-nonsense straight to the point type professor.

Is extremely stern, hence is quite unpopular with the students.

It's a good day if he even acknowledged your existence, let alone engaging in a conversation.

He is quick to call out mistakes, hence if you wanna stand out you have to be a very good student who doesn't make any trouble or aren't inattentive.

He appreciates the students who actually take interest in the material rather than just mug everything up for passing.

But he isn't dumb, he's had his fair share of students crushing on him during his first years on the job.

He knows when a student starts paying too much attention to the guy teaching a boring ass physics formula.

He knows better than to indulge in their fantasies, to give them the delusional idea that something might be possible between the two of you.

But you caught his attention not just for your looks, okay maybe a little bit for your looks. but he'd also noticed how diligent you were as a student.

He's starting to question maybe it won't be too bad, it's been a while since he had some game. and you're both adults, so it should be fine right?

GUEST PROF. DAISUKE JUANEZ

Bro stormed through school and managed to bag the position as a guest lecturer at your college for a mechanical engineering course.

Since he's literally so unbelievably young, he has fangirls and fanboys left and right, and he knows it, he isn't dense.

But he promised himself he won't date any students since he thought they would only see him as a fantasy not someone to genuinely love.

But that was until you came into the picture.

He felt something the moment you locked eyes with him, he saw something in those eyes of yours, staring at him so dreamily.

He knows he's young, and he knows that you're as well, but he also knows that anything inappropriate between the two of you could result in him losing his job and risking even your future.

But he knows how to keep a secret, maybe you can as well?

[shygirl4991]

Six Splits For Four Chap 3 Discourse

All art is done by @b-r-i-n-g-x be sure to check out her other stuff! Please do not repost art!

Next Chapter Last Chapter

Tags: Action/Adventure, Romance, fluff, angst with a happy ending!, blood, character death, injury, SMG34 is canon, split au

The princely SMG4 smiles brightly at Three as he checks over the man “I’m glad to see my fair maiden is okay!” SMG3 felt his face go into a darker shade of red the longer he was held, unable to handle it. Three starts waving his arms “OKAY YES PUT ME DOWN YOU BAKA!” The personality gently puts Three down, once his feet touch the floor he slides away from the princely personality. Still red in the face he slowly checks the papers before handing them over to Producer, Four stands in shock seeing the fourth member “How…Three?!” 

Three frowns looking at the personality “And you are?” the personality giggles lightly tapping his head “Where are my manners, I’m Prince 4! The heroic side of the original, I'm the one that makes the risky moves to protect our loved ones.” Four walks over to Three feeling sick “Didn't you say you only had three?”  SMG3 looks at the personalities and frowns “Yeah…i don't know how you got four, if there are more than three then we need to know how many of you guys are there.” Four nervously look at his personalities as they exchange looks, Ringmaster nods taking center stage “There are six of us taking the stage! It was certainly a mess, before you ask I have no idea where the others are.” Three’s eyes go wide as he looks at Four, it was official that Four was going to vomit. Four walked away from the group, worried, Three walked over to his boyfriend “Hey blue? It won't be that bad, together we can figure out what's going on.” Four faces Three with grey eyes “Am i broken? You only had three…does that mean there is something wrong with me?”  Three frowns as he grabs Four “Shut the fuck up right now, you’re SMG4 popular youtuber with all the friends a person could ask for. There is nothing about you broken you hear me, you might have just been feeling a lot of emotions at the time of the split.” Slowly Four’s blue eyes return as he hugs Three, the man sighs as he hugs him back. The personalities smile softly at the sight, remembering the others Three pulls away letting out a small cough “Right, now Prince can you help us find the final two?” Prince smiles softly as he takes Three’s hand giving it a kiss. Three's face goes bright red as he does his best to keep his composer,  SMG4 smirks at Three seeing the man's face so red “Not a word scrub.” 

Prince smiles lovingly at Three “Of course my love, i was actually sent here by Parent to find help. That's when I noticed our maiden in danger and I had to act. I almost forgot about the message he gave me!” Three sighs as he inches away from Prince, taking a deep breath he plays with the heart pin. Prince takes out a note and smiles “Prince remember to tell the others that i need help, while i was busy helping Karen the treasure we both were watching over has run away.” Three and Four look at Prince confused as the other personalities gasp. The reaction made the pair nervous as they exchanged a look before Four grabs the paper, Prince frowns from the rude interaction. Slowly anger could be seen in Four’s eyes, his blue eyes having a tint of pink. He storms off taking the group by surprise, Three gently takes Producer’s hand and smiles at him before looking at the others “Knowing how he is when angry i think it's best we follow now!”

As the group went after Four there was one thing bothering Three, the hint of pink in Four eyes gave him a strange feeling.  They finally caught up to Four only to see him walking up to a green version of himself, Parent turns and notices the crew. Before Four can grab his green version, the man ran past him right toward SMG3. He shakes his head as he opens his fanny pack “My word Honey, you need to watch over that beautiful face of yours!” He takes out an alcohol wipe and starts cleaning a cut on Three’s face. His eyes go wide as pink dust his cheeks again, Parent hums cleaning the wound then covering it with a spinning fish bandage. 

Parent gave Three a soft smile before being dragged away by Four “Parent?” he spits out, seeing the anger in his original eyes makes him nervous. “Ah Prince read the letter to you…PRINCE WAS SUPPOSED TO WATCH THE KIDS!”  Three’s eyes go wide at Parent’s words as he turns to Prince “Hey Romeo, what the hell did he mean by that?” Prince stares at Parent , showing him an expression of betrayal. Prince takes a  step back seeing Three getting angry “My gem please listen! Parent took Beeg and Eggdog out to play, he then said Karen needed help with her kids. He told me to watch the little ones, the only thing is when he told me that the children were already gone!”  Three’s face turns from anger to panic as he grabs Four pulling him away from his green personality, seeing the panic on his boyfriend's face snaps Four out of his anger. 

Parent frowns as he looks around at the group “There are a good amount of us, how about we split up the gang!” Prince nods in excitement while Artist and Ringmaster glare at each other, hearing this plan Four looks at the group as his eyes turn green. Four takes Artist hand and pairs him up with Prince, Ringmaster gets to partner up with Parent leaving Producer with Three. He smiles at the pair up before Three speaks up “Alright and who will you be with?” Four looks at the pairs then waves his hand “Don't worry i can handle this alone, who knows i might even bump into our last friend!” The personalities share a nervous look before nodding and separating, once everyone was out of sight Four’s eyes go back to blue. He lets out a sigh as he walks on his own, he needs space from everyone and wraps his head around everything. He had six versions of himself running wild into the world, not to mention a missing meme child.  He wondered how on earth Three handled everything, he couldn't even believe Three was handling so many versions of himself. His eyes start flickering different colors as his mixed emotions screams at him, without thinking he walks back to the showgrounds.  “This is just like everything else Four, just deep breath and smile. Just like everything else, just wash it down your back and move forward!” 

As he cheers for himself in front of Three’s cafe he hears a chuckle, he turns to see the front door of the cafe broken down “Who's there!?” He glares at the cafe till he hears an excited bark, Four relaxes for a moment confused “Eggdog?” The pup hearing his name running out excited to see him. Four giggles picking up Eggdog, remembering the voice he slowly walks in. His eyes go grey as his anxiety starts to take over, he gasps seeing who was at the cafe. It was him in orange wearing a cloak, he looked bored as he sipped a cup of tea. Nervously Four decides to ask the question. Three always asked “Who are you, what part of me?” The orange Four sighs into his cup “Is that important? Aren't you busy sucking face with that backstabber?” 

Four takes a step back surprised, he then notices Beeg on the counter eating ice cream. Four sighs reaching for the ice cream only to get threatened by the child,  Four gives a nervous smile as the orange Four watches him. “If you need a name to call me by the others call me Delinquent or D for short, personally i don't care what you call me.”  He sips his tea before speaking up again. “What I am doesn't matter, I can feel your rejection.” He gets up and leaves the cafe, seeing this Four puts down Eggdog next to Beeg. Once outside the cafe Four reaches out to Delinquent “Wait!” Both men pause hearing Three “Alright i hear you boys, is Four in that bad of shape?” Four smiles seeing Three on the path to the showgrounds with the others, his smile drops seeing his personality’s look at him with wide eyes “Original!” They all tackle him down for a group hug. Delinquent takes a side step to avoid the affection, Three looks around and sees Beeg and Eggdog watching the hug. He smiles feeling relief that his son was safe, that's when his eyes locked into orange ones. Three nods “So you're the missing one, nice to me-” Delinquent scoffs not letting Three finish talking “I don't need to hear words from a backstabber.” 

The group hug ended the moment the crew heard Delinquents words, Parent gets up frowning at him “Now D thats no way to treat our boyfriend, he's not that man anymore.” Ringmaster nods as he walks over to Three putting his arm around the man “Yeah that's the fans favorite arc, it makes the shippers go wild!” Delinquent crosses his arms looking Three up and down, then he looks at Four. He rolls his eyes, he turns from the group “Not going to listen to a failure of a leader and a man with so much ego he can't keep it in check.” SMG4, getting sick of the attitude of his personality, stands up glaring at him “What is your problem? You have been nothing but an asshole pushing us all away!” Delinquent shrugs “Who knows, maybe you're just not happy looking in the mirror.” Three reaches out to Delinquent only for the man to walk away, his hair touching Three’s gloves. Three frowns looking at his hand “huh? Ink?” looking at his glove a strange black stain was on it. He sniffs the stain and stares confused by the chemical scent, Four sighs watching Delinquent walk away. He turns and gives a small smile at the others “How did you all know?” 

Producer smiles “We felt you, there was a moment we all were connected. T-that's when we knew you needed help.” Four smiles at Producer before it clicked that he never got to learn who Parent or Delinquent were, he turns and gives a sheepish smile “Sorry that we started off pretty rough, want to give us your introduction?”  Parent giggles as he walks over to the kids patting their heads “That's okay our kids are more important. Ahem as you know im Parent, I'm your parental side and I'm also the leader of the group!”  Three walks next to Four looking at the group, things have turned completely different from what happened to him.  He peeks a quick look at Four, he knew the idiot for a long time to know that Four is about ready to scream into the void. “Hey everyone, could you all stay at the castle and wait till we return. I have something important to talk about with Four.” The group give him a thumbs up as they walk toward the castle, Ringmaster twirls his cane as they walk to their home “At least we are all together again, no thanks to your leadership Parent.”  Parent stops walking as his face drops. “Haha you're funny, if it wasn't for my leadership we wouldn't have found the kids!” Parent forces out a smile as Producer frowns and shyly looks at him “Didn't D and our Original find the kids,” Producer  plays with his sleeves “we failed them so badly…oh memes do you think he hates us now?!”  Artist gently pats his back “Are you squidding me? He doesn't hate us, if anything he seemed really happy to see us back there!” As the group chatted happily, Parent stayed a few steps back staring at them “Nothing but a failure huh?” 

Three turns to Four blushing as he shyly pulls the man close to him “No one is around but me, you don't have to keep the act up Baka.” Four’s eyes go wide as his vision blurs from his tears, he hugs Three as he cries into the man's chest.  Three rubs Fours back “Nothing is wrong with you, together we will figure out what caused this. We will fix this after all someone like me managed to do it, there is no way the great SMG4 cant.” Four lets out a giggle as he pulls away wiping his tears “Wow never thought i hear those words from you.” Three’s face turns a darker shade of red “Shut it or I'm leaving you here with your snot!’ Four laughs harder as he leans forward giving a kiss on Three's cheek, feeling the kiss Three let himself smile and laugh alongside Four. While they don't know how they will manage six personalities, they were confident they would figure it out as long as they had each other. 

[kibbles-bits]

Happy New Year🥳🍾🎉🎆 Heaven's Best AU what kind celebration everyone did! I am even curious what kind improvement Winner!Vox did for Heaven!?

What Vox does in Heaven is touched upon here.

"...media entertainment, news, organizing public events and he has a finger in the development of new technology. He’s involved in most things that make people happy and content in Heaven."

So that answers that question! Below? More yapping that expands on it!

Vox is very insecure about his place in Heaven, though by the time Heaven's Best starts, that feeling has been repressed and he's spent the last 50ish years making sure that the reason he is Different from everyone is because he is Better than everyone else. An idea that Emily unknowingly enables by supporting his ideas since she has complete faith in his Goodness and placement in Heaven.

It's that drive to be Better that makes him want to improve Heaven. Because improving perfection is the most impressive thing he can think of doing. So he gets involved in as many things as he can.

The first thing he gets control of is communications. He charms his way into radio and television until he's the one in charge of the biggest networks. He uses that to bolster other events or activities he's managing until his events are the only ones that get attention. Other Winners managing events come to him to ask him to advertise their projects and... of course he does! He's such a nice guy, after all. But perhaps it'd be easier if you add his name to those projects you're advertising, after all, everyone knows Vox now... Of course, he wouldn't want his name on it if he didn't contribute something. Say, how about you let him provide input on your projects too? He'd really be part of the team, then!

One very specific thing he does to support every individual in Heaven is interview them.

Vox puts every new Winner at the same level almost the same day they arrive. He collects all of the information he can, interviews them, and compiles it all into a profile piece to be shown on the appropriate channels of Heaven. He gives them all the same level of Hype, no matter what it is they did in life.

None of them are special.

(None of them are better than him.)

And this isn't bad! Look at him, treating everyone equally! Making them all feel at home and amongst peers! Even the smallest deed deserves the biggest of praise! Your jobs are done! You are in paradise! Reap your rewards that Vox so generously supplies to you.

Er, well, that Vox, the Seraphim and the Archangels supply to you.

And isn't that impressive? Vox is friends with a Seraphim, Emily.

The biggest advantage Vox has over any other Winner is his bond with Emily, one of the Seraphim who took a personal interest in him and his attempts to make everything in Heaven better. Emily's job is to make sure all the Winners in Heaven are Happy and Vox is eager to work alongside her with that.

Emily and Vox. Vox and Emily. Everyone knows they're friends. Why would anyone question the judgement of a Seraphim? Not that anyone can really pinpoint exactly what might be off about Vox. He's never done anything bad. All he's ever wanted to do is contribute and make things better for everyone. Make everyone happy, just like Emily... right? Who were they to stand in the way of him helping her?

Though, one questionable way he helps her is through surveillance...

He once suggested to Emily that they have cameras installed to help keep track of everyone's happiness. Emily agreed, assuming he just meant in public event spaces, and Vox uses that as blanket permission to put cameras... well... everywhere. And woops now he knows everything about everyone! Very convenient for data collection but it's okay since he's using the information to make Heaven better! He loves giving answers to Emily when she isn't sure why a Winner isn't happy.

She does think its strange that he knows so much about people when she never really sees him socialize, but maybe its a human thing...

Heaven is sooo improved, guys.

(Read the Heaven’s Best AU HERE)

[yourvienna]

bug in the ground. MIYA ATSUMU

preview — fic masterlist.

miya atsumu x gn! reader; 1.2k words; soulmate au.

It ends like the final crack of thunder in a storm. It’s loud, frightening. It sends shock waves down your spine as the rain continues to pour, and pour, and pour. Because the tears can’t seem to let up as he ushers you out of his apartment with words of sorrow and deceiving eyes. You catch a glimpse of her expression as he shuts the door one final time and you know right then they’re perfect for each other. 

It’s supposed to last forever. A bond constructed by the gods has no room for error. There’s supposed to be no room for error. Your soulmate is supposed to be by your side from the moment the two of you lock eyes, discover the ink upon your skin drawn by the heavens -- crafted by destiny. 

But you guess destiny is stupid, and the gods aren’t perfect. If they were, then you wouldn’t be sobbing on the side of the street at two in the morning. 

It’s late, but every time you dare to think about leaving the curb your throat constricts into a knot as though a snake has twisted its way around your neck, slowly but surely squeezing tighter and tighter. Your arms wrap around yourself, knees pulled up to your chest -- it’s for security, for comfort, for warmth. Your soulmate fucking left you. How comical. 

You can’t help but think of when you first met, the ink on your left arm burning as he greeted you before school. All it took was a little push from a passerby to meet him. 

You wish that person never ran into you. 

“Was I not good enough?” You think, tears stinging the apples of your cheeks. Is the tattoo that the two of you share not enough proof of your bond? Even then -- was your hand caressing his every morning or the way you memorized all of his many coffee orders enough proof either? You love him (loved? is it now loved?), how is that not enough? 

It was obvious thirty minutes ago that it wasn’t

If you were good enough, then he wouldn’t have been with another girl. 

So now you’re on the street opposite of his apartment. You’re crying. And you don’t know where to go from here. 

You recall all of the stories you’ve been told about soulmates, about how there will never be a moment when you doubt their love; how they always find each other; how they’ll withstand all the hardships that come their way. Somehow, it doesn’t seem like this is one of those stories. You rack the depths of your mind for another story, one involving a broken bond. But you can’t find one, because there are none. 

Another thought rummages its way into your head: you’ll be alone for the rest of your life. 

The idea is the catalyst for another round of sobs.  

A cough sounds from beside you, and through your foggy gaze you can make out a man. Your hand wipes the tears from your face -- the sudden realization that you look like a total wreck hits you. 

He’s surprised (as he should be, because who wouldn’t after finding a sobbing girl on the street at two a.m?), eyebrows raised and hands gripping the strap of a duffle bag. But there’s something in his eyes, something that’s hidden within the crevices of his face. It’s familiar. You hate it. 

“If you’re here to kill me, just get it over with,” 

Your gaze detracts back to the ground, body tensing for the feeling of whatever in his bag to come crashing down over you. 

He laughs. It’s loud and sharp and it’s everything you don’t want to hear. 

“I’m not gonna kill ya,” He says, raising one eyebrow to ask why you even thought that. 

You motion to his duffle bag, another chuckle sounds through the crisp air. He opens it to reveal an assortment of gear and clothes. He’s an athlete. You shiver. Another snake wraps its way around your neck at the thought of him. 

“Are you okay?”

Atsumu doesn’t know why he decides to stop when he sees you across the street. It’s late and he’s tired from practicing even when the scheduled one ended hours ago. Before he knew it, the time on his phone slowly switched from nine to two and he knew he had to go. But right when he went to call Osamu he heard your soft sobs, an unknown force pushing him to see what’s wrong. 

“Does it look like it?” You scoff.

“No.” He sits beside you on the curb, a foot or so away. 

You don’t say anything; what are you supposed to say? He’s just a stranger who’s only talking to you because you're crying and he wants to do something good for his conscience. Why else would he want to console the girl without a soulmate? People don’t do things just to help someone else. There has to be something in it for them: feeling good for themself, a good mark, a raise. 

“It’s two a.m, it’s not safe out here.” 

“You’re out here.” 

“I was practicing; I’m walking home.” 

“Oh,” You nod. He nods too. 

“So, you never answered my question y’know,” He does this thing where he looks around while he’s talking and when he ends the sentence he looks at you, eyes pointed. It’s different. 

“My soulmate broke our bond.” You glance at your tattoo. What was once a small dove chirping on your forearm is now a crow with a broken wing. A fleeting wonder of: “does he have the same one?” goes through your head. 

“They can do that?” 

“I mean he just did, so yeah, they can do that.” A bitter laugh emits from your lips, but the tears have ceased to run down your red cheeks. 

Atsumu doesn’t comfort people. He’s not good at it, he never was. That’s Osamu’s job and everyone he’s ever met knows it. But Osamu’s not here and neither are his teammates. So he says the same words he’s heard in every sad movie he’s ever watched. 

“'M Sorry,” He thinks it’s genuine; he knows where you’re coming from. You don’t think the same, however. 

“It’s okay, there’s nothing anyone can do.” 

“Do you want me to go?” A wedge of hope lies in the bottom of your heart, one that prays he doesn’t want to leave.

(Deep down, he doesn’t want to go.)

“No. I don’t think so.” Because he’s the first person you’ve encountered other than the racoon eating out of the trashcan across the street and you need human comfort right now, but you don’t tell him that. 

“Okay. I’ll stay.” 

He does. The two of you sit in silence, the only sounds being the December wind brushing against your lashes and the remnants of the garbage left by the racoon tumbling in the breeze. He sits with you on the curb until the time switches from two to three and he decides that it’s too cold to be out here.  

He walks you home, once again in silence, but the aura it provides is warm. And when you reach your doorstep and before he can bid his goodbye, you give him your number. It’s surprising to you when you blurt out the words, but the man is nice, so why not? (You don’t want a rebound, to clarify, because for all you know he could already have found his soulmate. You know how that feels to be on the other side of that situation.) 

“I’m Y/n, by the way.” You say as he tucks the device back into his pocket. 

“Miya Atsumu.” 

[paracosmicessence]

i've contemplated sending u an ask here for like 2 days regarding ur sonadow art and oufhgh i have to say it is so,, so gentle like the intimacy and softness of it all/pos i hardly see artists that explore the intimate cuddly drawings without the sexual coding so finding your art is so nice?? like refreshing nice as an aroace person bc in my perfect world, many little guys are just cat coded and it's so so cool to me to have found ur art out in the wild also for the mpreg stuff youre literally one of the most normal ppl i've seen draw/bring it up lol, i'm aware so many ppl like to meme on it or make it a fetish which tbh is pretty transphobic, so i'm just really glad you steered it away from that direction and displayed it as something normal and gentle given the context of the au/lh

first off thank you this is such a nice message and i love that people also feel the vibes of soft and intimate from my sonadow art that’s my only ever goal whenever i drew them 😭😭

second off FELLOW AROACE PERSON ACQUIRED 🫵‼️like omg you get it i love thinking about ships in a cat coding way if that makes sense but especially sonadow bc they’re animals so i just love thinking about them as little guys i can put in my pocket just like my cat

like idk if this is an aroace thing bc i don’t hear it described in a way that i relate to exactly so this might just be me but basically: i’ve always loved romance and ships in fiction but as i got older i slowly realized that i don’t think i can feel it for myself. which kinda made me sad at first because the idea of having a partner always seemed so nice, that was the main reason i didn’t think i was aroace at first because i thought i had always wanted to be in a relationship. i did some research and looked into different identities on the aroace spectrum, and thought that cupioromantic was probably the most accurate to what i was feeling, but later didn’t feel like it applied to me because i think the “enjoys the idea of being in a relationship” doesn’t fit right? ig?? idk how to describe it other than i like the idea of relationships, but it took me awhile to realize that i didn’t really want to apply myself in one if that makes sense.

most likely there’s a thing or word out there that already exists to describe that and i just haven’t been looking up the right terms, but basically this is just a very very long way of saying that i feel like whenever i get into a ship it sorta..…attaches?? to my very identity or something?? like i know people can be like “this is my OTP i love them forever and think about them literally all the time” and it’s like YES that’s me but also feels like an understatement, like all of my past hyperfixations on ships are literally ingrained into my soul even i’m not that into them anymore. and i know people compare hyperfixations to relationships and tbh that’s probably the most accurate description but again, that feels like an understatement.

okay honestly idk where i’m going with this i think what i’m TRYING to say is that i feel like because i can’t feel romance for myself my appreciation for ships feels so much more…emphasized, and sonadow is like the longest consistent hyperfixation i’ve ever had on a ship and at that point usually when something has been a “hyperfixation” for 2+ plus years i put it on the special interest display case in my brain except that display case has only ever had like hobbies and fandoms themselves, never an actual fictional relationship that i’m obsessed with but here we are. it might be the development of brain has synched up with this specific hyperfixation but sonadow is the first ship that makes me feel genuinely happy to this degree. it doesn’t make me sad to think about them and also go “aw i’m sad because i’ve never felt that way about another person and probably won’t experience that ever” in the exact same way you would go “aw i’m going to be dead someday” when you think about the fact that you’re alive right now and conscious and exist and have a mini existential crisis of the week. like sonadow doesn’t do that to me, i really just love those stupid fucking gay hedgehogs so much they’ve actually changed the entire layout of my brain and all the neurons and shit they’re everything to me.

ANYWAY JESUS CHRIST sorry for the ramble uhhhh lemme know if you or any other aroace people know what the fuck i was trying to say there hope you’re doing well and also happy new year!!!

[amuseintime]

Shattering Realization (Pt 2)

Star Souls AU

After Siffrin is rendered comatose, well, they have to keep his apparently not human form somewhere… So why not their tent? Isabeau can be normal about this, surely… (he cannot)

<< PREV || NEXT >>

Isabeau tried to settle into his and Siffrin’s tent once night came, he really did! But it was easier said than done, especially with so much to think about.

Funny how something that had become as mundane as a Sadness attack could throw everything into chaos! Bonnie was taking it the worst of all of them, not at all helped that no one had answers. What was Siffrin? Would he be okay? When was he going to start moving again? Was he going to start moving again? Why didn’t he have a pulse? Did that mean he was dead? Had he ever been alive? All great questions that no one had answers for. The best anyone could think to do was try to keep them from looking at…

The body? The doll? Siffrin? No one could quite decide how to refer to the still and silent form that usually housed their friend.

Odile wanted to inspect it, but she conceded to waiting until Siffrin could consent. Whether he ended up having anything to look at or was literally built like a child’s doll, whether he was aware and unable to respond or completely unconscious, it was still messed up to strip someone and look at their body when they couldn’t say no—at least outside of medical emergencies, but even if this counted as one, they had no idea what they were doing so that was senseless.

Mirabelle seemed to be taking it the best, shockingly? Apparently she loved books like this! Which was great! At least one of them should be able to help, and he’s glad that someone actually held Siffrin’s hand as… whatever happened to him happened.

Isabeau still didn’t really understand. The best he could do was stop Bonnie and Odile from staring and obsessing over Siffrin’s form…

And now, as he rolled over to look at the little body tucked into a sleeping bag, he couldn’t help but feel like a hypocrite. Why did he ever think this was a good idea? Was this even okay? Sure, they did it every night, and it wasn’t like he was doing anything—they weren’t even sharing a sleeping bag! But it still felt weirdly violating. His hands still felt cold from tucking Siffrin in, from having to be ever-so-careful with joints that suddenly seemed so fragile and arms make of something more brittle than flesh. The idea of accidentally breaking him was terrifying—what if that pushed him over some unseen edge and he couldn’t fix it this time? Could Siffrin spill out of himself like pouring water from a glass?—but what was worse was just…

Doing it.

Moving Siffrin’s body for him. Forcing it to bend and pose, even if it was just to keep him safe and, hopefully, comfortable.

Even worse, he could imagine an appeal to it, in another context. What little bits he saw of Siffrin’s body were inhumanly pretty. Pearly, smooth not-skin, slender proportions, an impressive amount of articulation with joints that Isabeau, at least, found strangely appealing, and even without the subtle glow his hair usually had, it was so soft. He understood why Siffrin would feel a need to hide it, but it seemed a shame…

His stomach curled and he turned away. There was something wrong with him, admiring the craftsmanship while Siffrin was unconscious because he got his head shattered.

Any growing heat in him was quashed. That was for the best.

…

What was he even doing? Should he be in here? Or would it be weirder to leave him? How many times had they shared a tent or been back to back on a bed with no more than a pillow or some sheets between them—Siffrin didn’t like being touched, another thing to make this situation worse. He was basically just sleeping, right? Hopefully? This shouldn’t have been any weirder than every other time they shared a tent, but…

“… hey. Sif. Siffrin. Sifarooni? Um… I don’t know if you can hear me at all, or if you’re awake or asleep. Do you sleep? Or have you just been pretending this whole time? I, uh… hope not. That’d get really boring…”

What was he even doing?

“But, uh… I hope you didn’t mind me tucking you in. I just want you to be comfortable, and we couldn’t just leave you kneeling in the field! So I hope? This is? Okay?”

��

“Sorry. I’m being weird. And, uh, I know you can’t really talk back right now. If you can hear me. At all???”

He shifted back over to look at them, to stare at the back of their head. Even in the dark of night, he could make out the darkless shades, though not half as well as usual.

“… Sorry. I’m being weird. Don’t worry about it. Just know that I still care, okay?” He paused, then sighed. There’d be no answers tonight. “Sleep well, Siffrin. See you in the morning, hopefully.”

———

I prefer tea, but buy me a Kofi?

[ageravena]

Well won't you look at that. Peri finally put some clothes on

Also hey, look at that! The year changed. Happy New Year guys!! I'm so glad it's 2015 now

Okay so I MIGHT have made a few tweaks to his design again, so here's a list of them (I'm not talking about the clothes. They are just a tool so that those working with humans can conform to their social norms)

I made the "hair flame" look fluffier and closed the awkward gap created by the swirl

The gradient in his wings switched from "light to dark" to "dark to light" (dark at the top, lighter at the edges)

The position of the back wings changed. The larger wings are now at the top and the smaller ones underneath them

The eyes on his wings can close (though the eye on the long back feather(s) (the tail-looking thing which is actually attached to the lower back wings) is almost always open)

I have also started to redesign other characters to fit in the AU, but since I want to go to sleep now, you'll have to wait until next time

-------------------------------------------------------

I almost didn't feel like peeling my skin off when making this! We're making progress! (Context: I've had a lot of difficulties when it comes to drawing digitally. I talked more about it in a previous post)

I was very close to going back to painting traditionally again (which I still do from time to time) until I opened Krita again and realized that it just works far better for me compared to Procreate (many of my previous artworks were made with that program). So yeah, I'll probably just fully switch to Krita now. Bye bye, Nikko Rull. You will be missed </3

[sschizoid]

was wonderiiiiiiiing if you'd be up for any jimcurly hcs if they were in an au? I had so many idea and now that Im here Im blanking lmao- something fluffy please! Im dehydrated over here (there's so much toxic yaoi,- and don't get me wrong, im obsessed, but also- I want them to have some genuine moments yk TT_TT)

ohhh have I got LOTS of thoughts for you anon. wall of text inbound!

--

curly

curly has a naturally gentle, soft and nurturing personality. he's known jimmy for years, and despite his temperamental moments, he still welcomed him with open arms, even trusting him to live under his roof when he was down on his luck. simply put, curly loves jimmy, he always has. he just doesn't know where the line is drawn between them. but he's content with just being in the same room as him

curly's love language is acts of service, and preparing home-cooked meals is his favorite way to display that. he'll invite jimmy to a plate he's prepared, who he knows will most likely reject the offer, even though he's probably hungry, but he'll eventually cave in. he always does

they'll eat on the couch, their shoulders close together and knees idly knocking. curly will happily yap and get lost in a multitude of side tangents, while jimmy just listens, rarely chiming in. it used to drive curly crazy when he'd refuse to speak; he wanted to know what was going on in the other's mind so badly. but he's since accepted that that's just how he was. ever the observer, hardly the engager. and that was okay. he had enough thoughts to talk for the both of them

he often thinks about how jimmy was before everything, back when they were younger, before the world was big, and before his brain practically consumed him. it saddens him in the moment, but its fine, he doesn't dwell for too long. all jimmy needs is encouragement and love, and curly is happy to provide that. he would do anything for jimmy. and he wouldn't have it any other way

jimmy

jimmy wholeheartedly believes that he is incapable of loving or even caring about another human being, yet feels strange when in curly's company. he's always psyching himself out regarding this— his thoughts and senses aren't often reliable, his mind is always playing tricks on him, and he fucking hates labels. but curly? that motherfucker was an enigma

he'll never outright say it, but he enjoys when curly touches his hair or places a hand on his shoulder and gives it a quick squeeze. small notions that aren't overbearing, but still communicate "I'm in your corner". it's comforting, those touches that, if placed by anybody else, would probably irritate the fuck out of him. but coming from curly, they were bearable. more than that, they were welcome

one of the traits he likes about curly is that he doesn't helicopter. he knows how to speak jimmy's language, or at least, does his best, and jimmy likes that. but at the same time, curly doesn't enable. doesn't let him do stupid shit if he knows it'll be harmful or make him upset. and god fucking damn does it piss jimmy off in the moment, because who is he to criticize how he lives his life? but the morning after, he's more often than not begrudgingly appreciative that curly is stern enough to reel him in and keep him grounded. its a careful balance, one they've mastered well over the years

sometimes, and only sometimes, does jimmy think about holding him. when his brain is just a little bit calmer, often after a really good talk or meal. he usually lets those thoughts perish, but sometimes, he starts to fantasize. not even about sex, just about having a normal fucking domestic life. being in love, being loved, being intimate. he'll catch himself looking into curly's eyes and try to imagine some sort of future, one where he gets his shit together and learns to tolerate being alive. one where curly can say he's proud of him and have a reason to actually mean it. a nice house, a different city, maybe they'd even get a dog. the idea always feels like a far away pipe dream, but fuck if it isn't nice to think about, at least for a little while

--

WHEW sorry i got kinda carried away with this one, i just have so many feelings about them. also this is probably more of an, uh... melancholic fluff lol but I hope you like it anyway! ( ; w ; )

[itsallmouthwashing]

Tulpar Band AU- Character descriptions/some lore PART 2

Uh okay fellas- I had to use piccrew since I'm bad at art (good thing @living-stain is keeping me fed WOOF) and I'll include some more facts about them! This is part 2 of the Tulpar Band AU character descriptions! (Part 1)

(MAYBE I NEED TO CLARIFY MAYBE NOT BUT THE ART IS DONE MY @living-stain!!!!!!! Please show him some love!!)

JIMMY ZARE- Scream Vocals and Guitar

Learned guitar pretty early in life. His parents would often drop him at the local YMCA and he took an instant interest to making music. One of the instructors there also taught him how to write songs and write music!

That instructor also listened to a lot of metal music! Little Jimmy was fascinated with it and demanded the instructor teach him how to do the monster voice thing. (Instructor learned how, just for him) (Jimmy ate up every bit and even made notes in his journal!)

Has perfect pitch! It drives him crazy sometimes when he hears a sound- any sound- and can immediately know what note it is. Although, sometimes the crew will 'test' him. They'll make random noises and ask to identify it

Music was a great outlet for him, so all of his songwriting is very personal to him and exposing himself was something he had to come to terms with if he wanted to start a band and use his songs

he starts a journal of songs and notes about making music and carries it with him almost everywhere. It's where all of his lyrics are stored, where all of his feelings are stored. They have no place in his heart, so they must be put somewhere else

Started smoking cigarettes at age 9 when he snuck one out of his parent's stash. They caught him, but just gave him his own pack and lighter in response (shitty Jimmy parents that I created, when I get you- Jimmy's parents when I get you-)

Becomes a dealer at the high school but low-key only sells to people he trusts (aka people he knows for sure are stoners and don't want to ruin the one plug that will sell to them)

Curly gets him to stop when they form Tulpar, but Jimmy still gets supplies for the two of them (he doesn't know WHERE Daisuke heard about him still selling, but it leads to Tulpar's full formation so whatever)

Smashed some motherfucker's guitar on their first day of high school. Yes, Jimmy was bragging about having perfect pitch, but he didn't expect so many goddamn kids to want him to tune their guitars for class. So when this kid with too blond hair and a grating fucking accent, he finally had enough, and all the annoyance and impatience came out in a violent swing to the ground with that kid's guitar in hand

GRANT CURLY- Main Vocals and Guitar

Picked up guitar the summer before he moved to America. His freshman year of high school is when he was able to commit the most of his time to practice and learned how to play through school

First day of school had his guitar smashed. He brought his own from home not knowing there would be instruments provided, and the kid who smashed it had to pay Curly and his family himself to replace it (Curly parents could replace it no problem, it wasn't a financial thing. And Curly feels bad about this fact for 0.2 seconds before he's searching for new guitars on the internet)

Always had a knack for singing. His dad was actually in a band when Curly was growing up, and while his dad played drums he loved to sit in on practice and sing along.

Karaoke? What was that blond blur just now? That was Curly getting first in line

Develops an alt style thanks to Jimmy, molds it to a more 'classy' look by wearing button-downs and suit pieces (someone said he looked great in a button-down and he decided it was the only thing he would wear ever)

Jimmy got him hooked on cigarettes during their freshman year of high school. He literally cannot got thirty minuets without a cigarette. He's insecure about the smell that lingers on him, so he also carries a bottle of cologne with him almost everywhere

DAISUKE JUAREZ - Drums and Synth/Keyboard

Had an interest in piano when he was younger and kept up with it as he learned drums at 12

Between piano lessons and school, he played baseball at his after-school care program. He really enjoyed it, playing baseball through middle and high school and eventually getting a scholarship based on his skill! he has to juggle Tulpar and his college baseball career, so sometimes they need to schedule around Daisuke

His parents are stupid rich and have lots of connections in production. Both parents work in Hollywood (as what? Beats me him!)

Daisuke is sent to a new high school when he turns 18 (which is junior year. his parents let him finish the year but send him to a state of his choosing to finish high school and experience life on his own) (yes they spy on him through Swansea)

Clicks with Anya instantly when he find out they both just moved to the state the same year. Quickly finds out she's a little bit of a goody-two-shoes (he changes his)

ANYA MUSUME

Picked up bass when she was 13 when she started listening to music. Honestly, she felt bass was a super underrated instrument (and that it was harder to pick up than other instruments). Her dad bought her first bass!

It's been Anya and her father for as long as she could remember. Her mom stayed behind in their home country (I'll figure it out) as they all planned to move to America, but she never made it to them. She suddenly became ill and passed away. This all happened when Anya was very young, so she has little memory of it. But her father does break down when she names her bass after her mom :)

Her and her father moved to a different state during her senior year of high school for reasons unknown to her. Sometimes she overheard hushed phone calls in the kitchen, or notices his shifting eyes in public spaces.

She meets Daisuke in a business studies class and the two take on the first few weeks of school together! It's not until Daisuke tells her that there's someone on campus that sells the good shit and they agree to meet at the dealer's spot that they meet Jimmy and Curly!

Curly and Daisuke have Gym at the same time, so that interaction was nice ("Word?" "Word." "I didn't know you were chill like that.")

The four of them hang out plenty after that!

SWANSEA (LASTNAME?)- Manager (I COULDNT FIND A GOOD PICCREW IM SORRY :(

Part of Pony Express Record's staff of managers. They refuse to hire more, so usually managers are looking after two or more bands at a time. This is also true for Swansea!

Daisuke's parents call in a favor he's owed them for some time, and of course it's for their precious baby boy. And of course he can't say no

He oversee's Tulpar's progress as a unit, coaches them individually on what industry standards are for musicians and then as a group for synergy, blending, and other factors that could risk their signing.

No matter how many times Swansea tells Jimmy his shit wont fly at P.E Records, Jimmy writes what he wants anyways. And the band rallies behind him. And somehow it fucking works

On top of being Tulpar's manager, he also kinda becomes Daisuke's babysitter (on his parents wishes. "Well, you're going to be over there anyways! I don't see the big deal in reporting back to us about what he's- how he's doing :)")

[beddybites]

About our tiny king, Babynai, does he have teeth while baby? Or does he start teething? Idk I'm sitting in bed it's almost 3am and I keep thinking abt Babynai amd stuff and this thought is stuck in my mind😭

Imagine Giyuu or Sanemi putting up with his crying at any time when he's teething, poor baby (and parents)😭 OR HIM WITH LIKE A CHEWING TOY OR WHATEVER TO HELP HIM TEETH! He's so cute I'm sobbing🥹

Also, I don't know if you still like the 21yo trio as babies, it's okay if not I'm just wondering if you will continue them (like draw them or anything) in the future? Me personally loved the ideo of those three being babies together, they are so chaotic and adorable�� But I love ALL of your art, not just the baby ones😭 Your art is so.. comforting and just good to look at. I can't even describe it with words but it just looks so pleasing and neat and gives a warm calming feeling to me. You have such a good artstyle, they all look so adorable and fluffy!💖 I love to just scroll on your page and just look at your drawing over and over. When I'm done with school the first thing I check when I get my phone is if you posted something (I've told this in another like, anonymous ask or i don't know what it's called on tumblr) but your art always gives me peace after a rough and depressing day in school (I'm sorry if I'm being too much, I really am😓) I just felt like I can't sleep without telling you again how much I admire your work and time you put into giving us so many arts, doodles animations and headcanons, I appreciate you so much, you made my whole 2024 better. I will forever be your fan and can't wait to show your art to my future kids after I made them watch kny!🔥

Have a nice day/night🫶🏻🫶🏻 (sorry again for writing this much, I hope it's not a bother)

hi anon!!! first of all this is so freaking swwet oh my god?????? ive been feeling rlly awful and pesstimisric about my work as a whole so opening tumblr and seeing this cheered me up a ton and im rlly so so so grateful for u taking the time to send me this msg let alone enjoy my art to begin with 🥹🥹 i hope ur doing absolutely amazingly!!

in response to tiny 21 trio: yes! i do plan on drawing them again eventually, im just taking a bit of a hiatus from that au for the time being!

in response to babynai: poor guy! definitely experiences teething all over again and the poor thing is in a lot of pain bcuz of it );

i also think he struggles because he still has his mouth scar in this au, so he generally has some mouth pain, which means he gets lots of love and support. mitsuri ABSOLUTELY spoils the heck out of him every time she gets to take care of him. sanemi and giyuu get him lots of teething toys. shinobu gives him check ups and such, ubayashiki family find him the best medicine and resources. gyomei lets the babynai teeth at his finger or shirt so it can calm him down. etc etc etc

all the hashira are very supportive and take care of him a lot!

at the same time obi ends up getting lots of reassurance from kaburamaru. those two have “fangs” together for a bit and it makes obi happy to be like his best buddy

[malt-rants-and-stuff]

@sunnfish okay Take Two!!! hello sunny sunnfish you wonderful sea creature! I was your secret santa for the @ssmygiftexchange! so sorry for the delay on this, my scheduled post was taken by the tumblr void and I wasn't home with my laptop to remake this post haha.

Your prompt was shirashiro college roommates au and prev pres, hanzawa, and tashiro hang out!! hope i was able to do this justice, this is officially the longest oneshot ive posted :)

Now with an Ao3 version, i would recommend reading there because Tumblr messed up some of my formatting and I can't fix it right now ^_^

Summary:

Tashiro and Shirahama are college roommates. It's a relatively peaceful life.

A non-linear story written for the sasamiya & hirakagi winter gift exchange!

As it turns out, moving in with a guy that you’ve known for almost half your life is pretty unremarkable.

Maybe it has something to do with being too familiar with each other. There have been too many sleepovers for the sound of snores to phase him, too many gym classes for the sight of skin to fluster him, too much time for anything to feel awkward between them. And yet…

And yet.

Packing your whole life into boxes is pretty hard, as it turns out. Looking around his room now it seems hard to imagine how it’ll feel to see the whole place emptied out. Cleared of every reminder of himself.

Tashiro tries not to think about it so hard as he turns back towards the closet. He’s never felt the need to go through everything he had stuffed in there until now, remnants of the past mixing with comforts of the present.

He reaches out to grab one of the hangers, pulling it free. His ping-pong jacket, he thinks despairingly, is slowly becoming small on him. His name spelled across the back in white lettering brings him back to when he first noticed. The growth spurts he’s been having refuse to slow even for a moment, and though he likes that some days, it mainly makes him face annoying things like this.

If he leaves the jacket, it will probably be packed up and put away somewhere to be forgotten. He can picture it now, sitting in a box stuffed away as it slowly fades from his memory. It makes him feel sort of heavy. But, if he takes it with him, he’s not sure it would be much better in the long run. Just holding it in his hands reminds him of how much time has passed. Of how fast it will keep passing.

He stands there, gears turning haphazardly in his mind, as he tries to breathe it all in.

Then, a knock.

His eyes dart to his doorway in surprise– knowing none of his family was home right now– only to remember that he’d invited the others to help him out.

Shirahama stands in front of him, knuckles resting against the already ajar door. His slightly bored face and tellingly awkward posture show that he hadn’t expected to be the first to arrive.

“Is your doorbell broken?” He asks as his socked feet pad their way into the room. “I tried using it, for once, but from that look I guess you didn’t hear.”

Tashiro finds himself a little amused by this, as he knows for a fact Shirahama has his own key. Perks of coming over to play games most weekends out of the year. He remembers them making jokes about going into each other's fridges while no one was home when they traded keys.

“Nah, guess I was just distracted,” He says with a casual shrug, placing the jacket back in the closet.

Shirahama gives him a questioning look. “I thought you were moving out, not back in.” His friend jokes as he passes Tashiro, grabbing a couple of shirts from the closet alongside the jacket.

He feels his eyebrow twitch in a way that reminds him a little of Hanzawa; and what a scary thought that is.

“I’m feeling indecisive.” He says, his mouth twisting to match how the word makes him feel. All twisted up and confused.

Shirahama turns to the side to face him, having stacked more clothes into his arms that look to be on the verge of falling to the floor. “About what? If you should take your whole house with you?”

That jacket. If I should re-dye my hair. Growing up. You. The future.

“What if we paint all the walls yellow?” He says instead of the hundreds of things his racing mind pushes forward.

“Yeah, that’s not happening.” Shirahama responds resolutely, his eyes showing no room for argument. Not that Tashiro will let that stop him.

“Or maybe green? Something bright.” He continues on, stepping away from his thoughts to grab the jacket out of the teetering pile and place it to the side. “Actually, scratch that, blue would be great too.”

Shirahama gives him a withering look that has no effect on his enthusiasm. Now that he’s thinking about it, the fact that he isn’t going to make these kinds of decisions on his own anymore is pretty fun. He’ll have a roommate, a friend to work through his troubles with. The thought makes him feel lighter.

“Hey, d’you still want this?” Shirahama asks some time later, long after Kuresawa and Miyano have come and gone. Tashiro looks up from the stack of boxes he’d just finished labeling.

“Oh, yeah I almost forgot!” He says as he takes his jacket, tying it around his waist for safekeeping. He really hopes he didn’t overestimate how much closet space he has.

It’s only a few hours after the final box has been unloaded and the moving van is hauled off when Tashiro makes a chilling discovery.

“Dude, we have no food.” He says, eyes staring at the bleak emptiness of their new fridge.

“Yup,” Shirahama responds as he walks up beside him, handing Tashiro a scrunchie in a sort of placating manner.

Tashiro’s shoulders droop with the weight of his exhaustion. Moving was one of the most tiring things he’s ever done, and coming from him that’s saying something.

Turning away from the depressing artificial fridge lighting, Tashiro turns toward the kitchen counter behind him and grabs his keys. As wrecked as he might feel, the growls of his stomach refuse to be ignored. “I’ll go buy something quick,” He says.

“Ah- wait, I have an idea,” Shirahama says suddenly. Back straightening, he moves away from the fridge of doom over to a bag of housewarming gifts the others had left. It was mostly a small array of gag gifts, little plant pots shaped like ping pong balls and a lampshade shaped like a pudding cup, but in a small container alongside the rest was something else. A saving grace for the hungry:

A tub of butter.

Tashiro looks at it in confusion, asking if his friend was really that hungry.

Shirahama smirks, “With food, no container is ever as it seems.”

He opens the tub’s lid, revealing its contents. Inside is not butter, but a large frozen serving of chicken soup. Tashiro feels his jaw drop as he gasps in disbelief.

Quickly shaking himself of his shock, Tashiro grins brightly. He takes the soup and stuffs it into the microwave, but Shirahama stops him from starting the timer.

“Y’know it would taste better if you put it in a pot instead.” Shirahama says, his hand gently clasped around Tashiro’s wrist in a way that he chooses not to internalize. His fingers are a little cold.

“But it’s already cooked.”

“So? You can still warm it up in the pot. Plus it’ll make it taste closer to how it’s supposed to.” Shirahama retorts, opening the microwave and placing the tub on the counter as he goes to try and find a pot in the sea of boxes.

Tashiro stays behind as he thinks. He hadn’t ever had a reason to go so far out of his way to warm up food before. He feels himself smile a bit, the first change he’ll have to get used to in this new life.

As it turns out, keeping a relatively small apartment clean is a little difficult when you’re living on your own as two messy 18 year olds.

They tried the whole chore chart thing at first, Shirahama said he used to have one at his parent’s house and it worked fine. But, well, it’s a little different when it’s just them.

The dishes are stood in a precarious stack, plates and glasses towering in ways gravity should never allow. Tashiro faces his task with a body radiating reluctance.

He’s been busy the entire week. Classes and work keep him out of the house, and even when he is home he prefers to spend time relaxing or hanging out with Shirahama. He had forgotten about his chore, and now it’s become a problem.

Carefully reaching towards the tower, he grabs the cups first and goes for the sponge right as Shirahama walks out from his room.

He has his hair held back by a headband, because my bangs are a nightmare right now, he’d explained the other day.

He walks towards the kitchen and looks at Tashiro, who has begun to work through the dishes.

“…Need any help?” He asks as he reaches toward the kitchen cabinet, pulling out the chips he’d come for.

“Oh, no I’m good,” Tashiro responds, though the overwhelmed look in his eyes doesn’t match his words.

Hm. Shirahama puts his chips down on the counter, turning towards the sink and stepping up beside his friend. “I’ll dry and you wash, okay?” He says with a smile.

Tashiro blinks at him for a moment, lips parted in an ‘o’, before he nods and sends back a smile of his own.

They make it through everything eventually, though not without some effort and accidental water sprays. They decide afterwards to just do the dishes together, just to save them time.

There's this strange sensation that comes for him one day. The apartment is dark, the steady hum of the aircon welcoming him home, and immediately something feels amiss.

Tashiro kicks off his shoes, only to turn back around and place them carefully on the shoe rack. He always forgets that it’s something he should worry about now. Keeping his home in order was never really a big deal before, it was usually only him spending time there anyways.

Passing through the short hallway, his eyes catch on a small black and red container. He looks around suspiciously, but finds no sign of Shirahama. Crossing the creaky floorboards, he inspects the tupperware and finds a green sticky note pressed onto the lid.

Went to a mixer.

Put this in a pot and try eating real food for once

Tashiro blinks away his shock. His eyes trace over the words on the note. Again, then again.

Thump

Thump

Thump

His hands warm the plastic as he goes to hold it, and a smile breaks out across his face. He’ll have to say thanks later.

Placing his food back onto the counter, he turns to go change. He feels anticipation swirl around inside of him, and even without tasting the soup, Tashiro feels warm.

Tashiro finds out in the second month of living with his best friend that they’re maybe not the best at making their place livable.

“How have you guys been living like this?” Miyano asks, part judging and part concerned. They’re standing in the living room, which consists of a couch, a tv, and a shelf balanced on two boxes that they use as a coffee table. The tv sits on the floor with a console, video game cases stacked beside it.

It’s not like they haven’t talked about decorating. They joked about it before moving, and made plans about what they wanted to do. The plans just… didn’t end up happening.

At some point between the exhausting move-in and the rush of classes starting up, decorating didn’t feel like that urgent of a thing.

But now classes have been in session for a while, and they still haven’t bothered with it.

The click of Kuresawa’s camera bounces off the empty walls. “A total bachelor pad,” he says, sounding just to the left of impressed. “My girlfriend was wondering what it looks like when two college guys live together.”

Tashiro groans at that, knowing that another classing girlfriend ramble is on its way.

“We live just fine,” Shirahama says, and as if on cue the boxes fold into themselves, sending the shelf clattering to the floor. Right.

They decide to go furniture shopping, just to make sure that they don’t have to deal with any more Looks from Miyano or paparazzi from Kuresawa.

Tashiro suppresses a laugh, pointing towards a table with odd looking fish for legs, “We need that.” Shirahama laughs along with him, but shakes his head.

“We have a budget, we’re only getting what we absolutely need.” He reminds Tashiro. His eyes turn towards a yellow and white coffee table that is practically calling for him. He turns away.

Tashiro salutes him, and doesn’t retaliate when Shirahama gives him a playful shove in response. He turns around and walks towards a different part of the store, twisting strands of his hair between his fingers as he goes. He really needs to touch up his roots.

Spotting something on a shelf, he picks it up. It’s a decorative statue, a silver painted hare taking a nap. He smirks and turns around, walking back to Shirahama. “Hey, look, I found you…” he starts to say before trailing off, eyes focusing on Shirahama’s side profile.

His eyes look focused in the way they always do when he’s overthinking something simple. His brows are pinched and his thumb is pressed flat on the side of his lip. Tashiro breathes in the expression, and decides he can show him later.

Laughter reverberates through the restaurant, one table in particular shining with rays of excitement and teasing.

“No, but seriously, how many more piercings can you get?” Tashiro questions dramatically, standing from his seat to stretch across the table and investigate. Hanzawa only laughs behind his hands and turns his head, showing off another new hole in his ear.

“If you ask that every time you’ll keep giving yourself a headache,” says the eldest one at the table, the previous ping pong president in all his red haired glory smirks mischievously and pats Tashiro’s back.

Crossing his arms and dropping back into his seat, Tashiro tries to keep up an air of frustration. It lasts about a second before he breaks out into a smile of his own.

These little meet-ups are a lot of fun for him. It’s not every day that all three of them are in one place. Especially not with their current schedules. It’s a nice break from the busy life he’s been settling into.

He feels his heart warm as he sits with his friends, ready to bring up his latest win in his college ping pong club, when his phone vibrates. Flipping it over, he sees that Shirahama texted him.

Divorce Soon: hey r you home

I left my jacket and this place is freezing

He pauses to consider. He’s not very far from the apartment, he could run there, grab it, and drop it off pretty quickly. But… he glances up from his phone to the two in front of him. He doesn’t want to leave yet. But… looking back at his phone he sees the spam of crying emoji’s Shirahama has begun sending. 

“Hey guys, sorry but my roommate needs me to get him something,” he says with an awkward expression. The conversation pauses as the two process what he said. “Oh sure, you need a ride?” His absolutely genius red haired friend offers, pulling his keys out as he says it.

“Yes!” Tashiro replies as his expression lights up. He tells Shirahama he’s on the way, and they head out towards the parking lot.

Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, Tashiro fiddles with the edge of his shirt. He tries not to move too much, looking back and forth from his hands to Shirahama. His friend has that same look in his eyes that he did back in middle school art class. Focused, determined, trying and failing to keep paint off of his face. Only this time the paint is a bright yellow dye.

They’ve been like this for a while. He hums along to the music playing from his phone. His butt feels a little numb and he has counted and recounted the tiny floor tiles at least a million times, all 173- no, 175 of them. He tries to focus his attention on anything but the gloved hands in his hair.

He carefully reaches over for his phone, switching the playlist to a random one he saw in his recommendations.

It’s not as if he couldn’t survive in silence for a little while. He usually doesn’t have anyone else to do this for him, so silence is kind of a given.

But as he taps the beat into his leg and opens his mouth, no words come out. He lets the silence linger even as Shirahama begins humming the words to a song he remembers coming out in their first year. He thinks about laying on the floor of his bedroom, phone conversations bouncing off his poster-lined walls and music blasting.

He remembers the telltale clicks and clacks from the other end of the call, the curses against ridiculous route mechanics spilling into his ears.

Tashiro feels like this is sort of like those moments, just a little bit more. His legs are longer, his hair can go into a ponytail now, and his world feels so much bigger. His eyes turn towards the boy-technically-man in front of him. His eyes look sharper and his face is more angular.

But, in a lot of ways he feels the same as he always has. The same Shirahama who cried during their graduation, and sat next to him on their first day of middle school. The same Shirahama who bullies him for counting on his fingers, but forgets what comes after 3 when he’s drunk enough. 

The same yet different Shirahama. They match in that way, at least. Both the same, but not fully.

“I… think I’m done?” Shirahama says, breaking their steady silence. Tashiro stands to go look in the mirror. He giggles at the sight of his foil-wrapped hair sticking out at odd angles.

Shirahama laughs along with him, and it really isn’t that funny, but they still stand there giggling like idiots. Tashiro pulls at the corner of his shirt again, turning around and raising it up to Shirahama’s face and wiping away some of the dye.

He drops his shirt and turns back to the mirror, looking at the two of them in the reflection. He watches the way Shirahama’s face stays frozen, and how his whole face flushes like it always has. It’s nice to see some things will never change.

[forgettable-au]

FORGETTABLE-AU (page 82-85)

THAT LAZYBONES!!

[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]

[ratatatastic]

lmaoooo maffhew wanting the knot immediately and having to wait for sasha to catch up with that is so deeply funny like. this omega is not subtle and you’re not a stupid alpha babe! can only imagine what benny has to say to maffhew about it once he catches on and stops banging his head against a wall

idiots to lovers is always great but especially when its two people who would be hitched with 10 kids by now if they stopped being dumb for a single second like its that easy and yet...

to me they very much fall around the same time (infatuation at first scent if you will) just that sasha takes some time to get there not because he's dumb (okay he's a little dumb) but in the sense that its like "this person is very interested in me, i can see and recognise that but theres so much cognitive dissonance in my brain right now between knowing that intrinsically and finding that hard to believe so i unintentionally play dumb because obviously i'm reading too much into things it cant be me they're interested in haha that'd crazy but they're being awfully touchy and flirty with me wow"

but also it takes two to tango and we have to acknowledge that and this is when i would love to bring up the ways in which this man decides is the best way to go about that because he is a catholic school girlie... there's so much hilarity to be had here especially because his flirting is very uh how you say... a little ass backwards if you will especially considering dynamics

"I make it a point to keep the door closed when we're alone in a room together! That's basically a clear invitation that I'm down to fuck!!! Im basically asking to be ragdolled on his knot!!!"

and Benny just pinches the bridge of his nose like "I don't know how to explain to you in a way you'll understand that not everyone went to Catholic school."

But saying that Sasha does side-eye the door knob heavily when Maffhew goes over to close it the first time and he starts sweating like he just got dragged into a game of 7 Minutes in Heaven he did not sign up for and he's 13 again and oh god he got paired with a really cute girl, and he hasn't even had his first real kiss yet and-

And then absolutely nothing happens because Maffhew is just waiting with a polite expectant smile (because his work here is done, he did the heavy lifting know it's Sasha's turn) and this is when Sasha's dynamic classes training kicks in and he basically scolds himself for even assuming in the first place because this is clearly a show of trust (correct) not an invitation for extra circular activities (incorrect buzzer noise) and it basically becomes "This Omega really trusts me, I'm honoured especially as Pack Leader that I'm able to be so accepted into such a private space with the inherent knowledge that I will not encroach their boundaries whatsoever because consent is verbal, this is not in any way an invitation to take advantage of them this is deep platonic trust I will guard with my life :]"

and if you listen closely you can hear the lovely sounds of Maffhew bashing his head into a wall about how much of a gentleman Sasha is but also COME ONNNNNN... you know... once Maffhew realises what's happening which (looks at my watch) is not due for another few months really

Battle of wills: unstoppable force (maffhews catholic school understanding of dynamic interactions) vs immovable object (overseas alpha cotillion classes)

And if you think it's an Oh! An overseas dynamic thing! It's not. The Euros are watching the horrible car crash in front of them and doing absolutely nothing about it because it's none of their business, but they will stare at it... maybe judge it a bit but definitely are observing from the tall grass.

and I'm also not saying that luosty lundy forsy and bobby have a current running bet of how long it'll take for maffhew to break sasha in but i'm also not not saying that... luosty goaded lundy in the midst of a gossip session ("It has to be 3 months, right?) forsy happened to be around so lundy turned to him for advice ("7 months.") and maybeeee bobby overheard from all the way over from his stall and puts in his two cents for what it's worth ("6. Captain nice but not that nice. Very impatient." "So 3!" "No. Impatience makes him double the time, and wait longer. 6 months.") (lundy finally settles on a good 5 months because he's indecisive)

And Sasha does eventually pick up everything maffhew is throwing down... eventually... and when he does it becomes more so I want to court this omega the way they deserve I will take this slow and romance them sweetly :) *smash cut to maffhew caterwauling like a cat in heat*

but also once again its not like maffhew is helping sasha in any way this is idiot4idiot and benny would like to enjoy the car crash with the euros but unfortunately that's his soulmate, thats his bestie, his littermate from birth who has been weaned on the same teat as they climbed over each other to get to it, the first girl you kissed in your childhood bedroom because somehow you started play fighting on the bed because she was like i could totally pin you down easy and then she does and you always noticed how beautiful she was but shes even more gorgeous when she's pinning your wrists to your hannnah montana duvet you promised yourself youd changed out before she came over but you forget and well she teased you about it and you cant help but giggle about how perfect this all is and it seems that the natural conclusion to this is to taste the strawberry lipgloss of her lips because whats a kiss between besties huh its tacky and sticky and it tastes like summer and just other apt metaphors to put here about the inherent -isms of their relationship that i nearly cant put to words properly other than girls having fun (they are fucking)

and well anyways benny is watching and he has a lot of things to say about how its been proceeding so far

"You should really use your words."

"I am!"

"Right because smelling like a fucking perfume shop in the middle of October is using your words."

"This usually works with most Alphas okay!"

"Sasha isn't most Alphas."

"Tell me about it." Matthew grouses before he peeks over to Sam, looking up from beneath his eyelashes—the exact way he knows both endears him to Sam but also absolutely miffs him all the same, "Worked on you, didn't it?"

"Oh, is that what we're doing right now? We're calling getting a lapful of a preening O in preheat in the middle of a roadie a normal way to go about these things."

"It worked didn't it?" Matthew reiterates.

"It would work better if you use—"

"Okay! Alright!! I get it!!!" He does not.

like benny here is unfortunately an active listening participant in the going ons of the fuckery if not because hes involved by proxy because of maffhew because who else will hold his hair back as he calls him a dumb bitch you know

[dairyfreenugget]

(Going insane boinkinh one AU in my head)

Hey hey hey

May I interest you in

(Slowly slides my FaaF AU towards you but void just Disappears without a trace one day before the accolade)

Teehee

[renegadeontherunn]

hi! this is my small, gentle reminder that you don’t have to be like other people. I know the best parts of other people are beautiful and exciting and just so cool, but you don’t need to be everything. it’s okay not to be as good at watercolor as your sister or not give good advice like your mom does and it’s okay to love qualities in other people. sometimes other people’s words or their idiosyncrasies or the way they part their hair is so wonderful that you want to join, you want to feel the way about yourself, about the not-as-great parts of yourself that you do about the best parts of them. and it’s okay if you start listening to The Killers because it’s your brother’s favorite band or if you decide you want to get red converse like the ones your best friend has. but it’s okay if you can’t “keep up” with their grades or will never be able to do eyeliner as well as they can or maybe it seems like they just love life more than you do. I just want you to know that there are unattainable parts of you too. you can like things about other people that you don’t have, and you don’t have to give a compliment thinking god I wish I was like that. you don’t have to be like that. it’s okay to just be the things you are. you don’t have to be everything.