#long rant but pls read

[ingydar-phan]

I think people are misinterpreting my stance on dangender. So let me say more, I guess.

- I am not indirecting anybody. This is a wide topic with varying ideas in it. My stances aren’t about the participants, they’re about the topic itself.

- I do not think having this stance is inherently harmful, transphobic, or unethical. I think some aspects can be rooted in harmful things but believing in dangender doesn’t make someone a bad person.

- My issue isn’t about boundaries themselves or crossing lines DNP have set. I know some people agreeing with me are making it about that, but that’s not what it’s about for me. I am super icked out by people who think they’re doing some sort of holy work by “protecting” their “innocent blorbos” or whatever from other peoples opinions/speculation. I’m not trying to be like “how dare you! If he saw this his feelings would be hurt!”. In fact, I think if Dan were to see dangender posts, he’d probably giggle, tilt his head, and be like “hmm yea ok I see what you’re saying!”. Im not trying to decipher what lines DNP have laid out themselves about what’s ok and what’s too much. Nobody can do that accurately besides DNP themselves, and this is a fandom space, so that’s not what I’m worried about, even though people seem to think it is.

I think it is absolutely true that having queer people in the phandom pre-BIG discussing DNPs relationship and queerness was a huge part of empowering Dan to come out. He’s said it in BIG, he said it in TIT, he’s said it a lot. Their community being nosy gays is how he found the space to come out. I know this. I affirm and agree with this.

My issue is there’s a difference between laying ground for mind-opening, and acting like there’s a confirmed secret being hidden from us when it comes to Dans gender. So, the difference between thinking “maybe if Dan really dug into what his gender could be, knowing it’s a safe space, he may come out with an idea of something more complex than cis” and thinking “he is for a fact trans/enby and already knows this, he’s just hiding it, and trying to hint it at everyone through these secret codes.”

All the jokes about phyuri and DNP looking like lesbians, the calling Dan “she” or “wife”, wanting DNP to watch I Saw The TV Glow, transmascs seeing themselves in Dan, that IS the community opening our arms and saying to be free to feel however you want to feel and express yourself however you desire. That’s so beautiful.

Collecting evidence that you surely know better than Dan himself that he’s actually secretly trans and hiding it is just, different, and is what makes me uncomfortable.

Lest we not forget that gender and sexuality, that queerness as a whole, are intertwined. A young confused traumatized Dan feeling urges to express femininity is just queerness itself, not specifically transness. Queer men are often inherently viewed as feminine, and going outside of strict gender expectations is a part of gayness for many gay men. Feeling like you’re different from your peers, like you want to express yourself outside of the norm, is tied into all forms of queerness. Dan is gay: he knows he’s gay, he’s worked hard to call himself gay. Gayness is queerness, and queerness is unique expression. His complex feelings about non-masculine expression tie into his gayness because he is a queer man. Him having those complex feeling about expression and self image do not mean he’s trans. They mean he’s queer period. What type of queer is up to him; and clearly the expression and label of queerness that he finds most accurate to himself is gay man. You can be a cis gay person and still have your queerness attach to your gender without it making you trans.

May he one day in the future find that that complex expression of queerness goes into his gender to the extent of transness? Maybe! I don’t know! Would I support him? Of course! Would I look back regretfully? No! I’m not attempting to prevent anyone from building a welcoming space. I just don’t like this assertion of specific labels and the idea that you know better than him. That is it.

[grilledcheese-savage]

Is Animorphs Ableist?

Short answer: No.

Long answer: Look, some of the people on this site genuinely scare me. Their leftism goes so radical that it goes back around to being somehow right wing. There's some real puritanism that's going on that I'm not liking AT ALL. Listen, you can and should think about media critically, and I'm sure there's some things to be said about the way the auxillary morphs are handled. But as someone who is disabled and is a wheelchair user, I feel I'm obligated to defend this series choices.

I believe books should always be able to portray heavy topics, especially when it comes to books about war. Because what is Animorphs if not a book about war? In war bad things happen. People are used. People are broken. People are thrown away. Not once does Animorphs portray these things as a morally good thing to do. In fact, I'd say Animorphs makes you stare right at the disgusting, morally corrupt, real situations that happen in war, so you don't forget them when it comes to vote.

War creates disabled people. There's no way around it. Either you're a veteran, traumatized by the things you've seen, lost a limb etc. being treated as cannon fodder (where the word comes from) or a civilian who was caught in the crossfire. No matter how justified the war, good people get hurt. People get hurt. Not once does Animorphs try to portray it as something that's worth the end goal. I think this is where people get confused. Animorphs is a first person story. You are being spoken to by an unreliable narrator and in the last book where arguably the most "ableist things" are said and done, you aren't just being spoken to by kid; you're being spoken to by a captain. The context surrounding the situation can be easily forgotten seeing as the book is 20+ years old, but Jake isn't a "good person" he's a ruthless soldier trying to see the a-z. That ruthless end goal that can save the greater public. SPOILERS INCOMING IF YOU HAVENT READ ANIMORPHS PLS DO ITS FREE ONLINE: Jake says it himself in one of the most famous lines in the book "It took my breath away, the pure, ruthless perfection of it.

-All i had to do was send my friends to die."

What he said isn't a good thing. Arguing that the author or creators wanted you to take "kill your friends, end a war!" away as a message from the book is being willfully ignorant. Jake just saw his parents be taken over by aliens, while all his friends got theirs back. He lost everything and he's depressed because deep down he knows he will have to kill his brother to end this war. All he can do is focus on ending this war. And then he sees it. The end.

Killing the auxillary morphs (disabled child soldiers) and committing mass genocide on his enemies. When he decides to follow through with this plan we see him lie to the only person he has left to love (and might I add, a symbol of humanity, empathy and hope) Cassie, and watch her cry in agony as she's forced to watch all the soldiers she trained, loved and by proxy sent to die, be killed one by one excruciatingly. We are supposed to feel bad reading this. Yes it ends the war. But it leaves us the audience with the question, was it worth it? If you take empathy out of the equation, yes you could argue it was worth it. But Cassie is empathy. It wasn't worth it to her. She is who we are supposed to connect with in this scenario.

Another situation I see people argue as ableist- that the yeerks are supposed to be metaphors for disabled fascist nazis. No. Thats not even close to the truth.

The yeerks are creatures that cannot hear, see, or feel very well when they are just themselves. They are entirely intelligent beings with the capability to communicate and empathize. Yeerks are not inherently evil beings. There's no such thing. This is why The Departure was written. The Yeerk empire for the majority of the books is written to be inseparable with yeerks themselves, and again, that is because the story is written in first person. Canonically, the animorphs view yeerks as evil, inhuman things that are irredeemable so it's easier for them to sleep at night. That's why when cassie talks to a yeerk who sees things differently than the empire, the animorphs are immediately suspicious, and get downright angry when Cassie first tries to explain to them that there are good yeerks.

When people try to compare the yeerk empire to real life wars and genocides, it makes me frustrated. Yes, they share similarites. But by saying that yeerks are just "nazis" you are missing out on some really good writing and at the same time shrinking the impact of those horrifying real life tragedies by comparing them to a kids book. But If I HAD to compare them to a real life scenario to make you understand, I probably would compare them to russia. Because the Russians in the ukranian war aren't evil. They are people stuck in a horrible system. When cassie finds out the yeerk she's stuck with doesn't want to be in this war, she uses COMPASSION to create a league of symbiotic yeerk-morpher sympathizers. She LITERALLY steps in their shoes by morphing into a yeerk against her greater fears. Ok, this post is getting very cassie focused for some reason but the point is- They arent trying to say that being disabled is an "excuse for committing war crimes", because the yeerks aren't disabled. They aren't even a metaphor for being disabled. In fact, the yeerks were shown in the prequels that they would've been perfectly fine with their symbiotic relationships on their original planet if someone didn't start the empire, using exploration as an excuse for colonization. That's how most empires start I'd argue.

Basically, calling them all nazis is a gross generalization of the true meaning of the series. Now that I'm done with showing why I dont agree with those opinions, here's some reasons why I think animorphs is actually very pro-disabled activism.

In book 41, Jake goes through a traumatic mission and hallucinates another dimension where the yeerks won. In this world, he sees what the empire does to disabled people. The yeerk empire is ableist, and shoves all their disabled people that cant be used as hosts into a dirty alley to die. When one of the people there ask him if he's supposed to be there (this is a police state) he says yes, and internally monologues about how his trauma currently disables him. If you read it, its very ahead of it's time. The yeerks have "no use of disabled people". So what do they do? They forget about them, ignore their needs, and mistreat them just like reality. And in the 90s, mental health being taken seriously as a disability was still a very young idea.

When the auxillary morphs are first created, Cassie was the first one to come up with the idea of "using disabled people as soldiers since they wont be infested" and instantly dismisses it. She thinks it's morally corrupt but is convinced into talking to them after one of the other morphs explains that they cant do this alone and they should at least have a choice, which, in my opinion is pretty progressive. It does not stay progressive of course, since the animorphs are on and off used as a metaphor for the american military. When they get there, they give false promises that some of them might be healed if they gained their disability in an accident. In my opinion, this could be a metaphor for how the military gives people the option to join in exchange for free education. Then after people fight and gain disabilities, some of them cant go to school and cant even find a job. I think again, this is a progressive idea about how the military is a gamble, because as soon as they gain the morphing abilities, whether or not it heals their human form, they still have to be soldiers. They were doomed from the start.

The military can and will forget about their own as soon as they arent able to fight. How is animorphs portraying this a bad thing? In fact, personally I think the disabled characters were good representation but thats a rant for another day.

I know a lot people can be very black and white when it comes to media but please give animorphs a chance because it's not even close to being ableist.

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

what do you think sirius’s relationship with his father was like

(i wrote a whole fucking biography, but there's a tldr at the bottom w some notes! also. i am so sorry. this ended up being orion's relationship with his eldest son instead. its pov orion forgive me please.)

sirius and orion ..... there's not much in canon about them, i think, right? he mentions him a whopping one time, when he said his father was the one who made Number Twelve unplottable and that's it, so i think orion was just. so very absent. and neglectful. especially considering how much walburga is mentioned and how big of a part she played in sirius' life.

that's all for canon, i think. now for the fun hc time !!

i imagine orion to be fairly quiet, more like regulus. i imagine he dealt with walburga's anger and mood swings (i hc her (and sirius) with bipolar ii disorder which was obv untreated her whole life bc a) fifties b) ew muggles im perfectly fine) ever since they met (with orion being younger and more complacent, too) so it wasn't a marriage where they were both equals, and orion resented walburga for it.

enter sirius black.

when sirius was born, walburga was completely focused on him. she had her son, her everything, her precious little child and orion was free. i think he loved sirius for it - for how walburga didn't notice when orion left the room or entered it, for how much walburga loved her son.

the first few years was good, sirius was charming, regulus was obedient, walburga was happy and orion was distant from the woman who'd ruined his life. plus, he liked his kids!

sure, sirius was too headstrong and aggressive and had mood swings and sure that reminded him a little bit of walburga and so he usually treasured his precious regulus, and yeah, sirius had cried more than once that dad doesnt love me! but it was all just fine, because he loved his son! he did, really! at least one of them, anyway.

by the time sirius was ten, orion was hoping his hogwarts letter would come early.

it was sirius' first big rebellion, and walburga had (after punishing sirius as she saw fit - orion didn't bother asking, the boy was more comfortable with his mother anyway) locked herself in her room for more than a week, but that was fine, he was used to it. no, the problem was that sirius also stayed in his room for a week, and orion was connecting dots.

from then to dropping sirius off at the train, orion withdrew himself. he noticed. he observed. he busied himself. sirius talked to him, and he didn't ignore him completely, he was still a good father (right?) so he played chess and taught potions and told him who to and not to talk to like he was supposed to.

(he hated the noise the mother and son caused. he hated them, too.)

he pretended to sympathize when walburga said she missed him already when they saw the bus go off.

when sirius came back for christmas, he steered clear for the first two days. walburga handled the punishments: sorting, his friendships, his misdemeanors. orion nodded along.

i am a good father. it's his fault for not being a good son.

regulus was so good, and for all the time the boys spent together, regulus never rubbed off on him.

oh god. what if sirius infects him, too? the only normal one there - what if sirius takes regulus in his madness?

so he separates regulus, too.

by then, he doesn't know what's going on with sirius. regulus told him, time to time, but orion's dislike of his son was becoming clear, so regulus steered clear of the sirius' name. sirius learnt to be away from his father's study. walburga yelled at him more for his negligence but he took it and continued his one sided resentment to his son. (was it one sided anymore? orion didn't know.)

summer vacation is spent in his study and in his bedroom. the two places sirius never was. he didn't know where sirius was, but he heard the occasional screaming and then he had the pleasure of not seeing sirius for a few days.

when, the next year, regulus has to go with sirius, he resents walburga for not saying she missed him already. but she had missed sirius. cursed mother, cursed child.

in third year, walburga signs sirius' hogsmeade permission slip. whatever. he didn't even know it had been signed till the following year, when regulus came to him and they had a few moments of small talk.

regulus mentioned sirius idolized andromeda. he couldn't imagine why, and he couldn't imagine why regulus told him.

by the summer before fourth year, sirius and orion didn't talk. orion scolded him for one thing or another ('posture!' , 'you're late' , 'you're friends with a pettrigrew?' , 'your hair is unkept'), he gave scoffed when sirius made a pronunciation error with his words (regulus wouldn't've. stupid boy, sirius didn't deserve the title of heir.), he punished sirius and then he went back to his study (*sanctuary).

walburga tells him sirius has been sneaking out to muggle london, he has indecent pictures spelled to his walls, he's changed, orion, he's different now. orion doesn't tell her that sirius had always been different, and never in a good way. (he doesn't tell her that she is the same.)

sirius didn't come back for christmas that year. he doesn't notice till walburga screamed at him. he was more focused on how walburga clung to his regulus closer that year.

by the summer before sirius' fifth year, sirius' fights were no longer contained for his mother. he yelled at anyone who would give him time of day.

bellatrix, portraits, kreacher, walurga of course, regulus even.

not his father.

if he saw his father, he would simply walk away.

sirius never walked away from anyone, but orion was grateful nonetheless. he'd hexed sirius a few times, naturally, but he didn't want it to become something regular.

(he was grateful for the days sirius spent holed up into his room.)

by the end of summer, sirius and him had barely exchanged a word that wasn't orion chastising him and sirius replying with a curt yes father.

(it felt like an insult. father. no, orion wasn't a father to that vile thing. sirius was his mother's son. orion had nothing to do with him. and he knew sirius didn't feel differently - he heard sirius refer to him by name when he conversed with regulus.)

when that year ended, and summer began, sirius didn't grant his father the gift of silence. he yelled at him too. every word orion spoke, sirius gave three in return, every hex orion performed sirius laughed at ('is that it? i've been done worse by kids my year.'). he hates him, now. he doesn't hate walburga as much, walburga stayed in her room more, she came out to scream for a few hours and went back.

he blocks that whole summer out. he hates yelling. he hates being yelled at. sirius was walburga, but worse. infinitely worse. he's so relieved when he wakes up to find sirius gone that he can barely hear walburga's shrieks, or bother trying to undo the careful expression regulus wears.

sirius visits him through walburga regardless. (how funny, at first it had been the other way around). sirius had never been one for letting go of things. he haunts orion's dreams and when he hears certain phrases he thinks of his fallen star.

tldr : orion is reminded of walburga (abuser?) when he looks at sirius and distances himself till he finds himself no longer seeing himself as a father for sirius

stuff i didn't mention : walburga uses regulus as sirius' replacement when he runs away and orion hates her for it even though he does the same , he does 100% despise sirius' muggle/gryfindor/blood traitors esque etc stand points, i just feel like that's a given though soo i didnt include it (sorry!!). he just lets walburga handle it, for the most part.

tysm for the ask @albi-bumblebee <3

[themoonunderstoodmydadjokes]

I need deep conversation and connection soon or I fear I may pass away

[thegrantwater]

new fic alert!!! new fic alert!!!

finally posting something after almost another year long hiatus from writing. i got a little more in depth about where i've been and what it's been like to write this in the end notes of the fic, so if you're curious go there, but i'll definitely be posting about it on here soon. so in the meantime....

we fill the gaps (you and me make three) chapter 1 is posted on my ao3! i've been dropping little hints about it for months, and my story for last years sqsn was the main driving point behind this fic (and yes the title for both fics comes from the same song, in my mind strange birds is a predecessor or sort of outline to this). the intro of strange birds was actually ripped straight from the draft for this, because i started rewriting season 1 almost two years ago and at the time had written some pre-henry-curse regina analysis to tie into it. this first chapter covers the events of s1e1 to about s1e19, and the rest of s1 up to the curse breaking will be chapter 2. consider its length both a treat and a warning that this is going to take a while.

love you guys <3

[padfootastic]

i’m so annoyed why is sirius not treated more kindly why does remus appearing for two seconds of screen time get more grace and understanding than the main fucking character why do i have to find all of this out when i’m 50k words into a doc i’m so annoyed

[unheavenlybody]

i wanna quit my job so bad but i like having money obviously i just gotta make it thru the holidays at least jesus christt. it shouldnt affect me so much but i hate it so much its not even hard but still draining

[goldenstarprincesses]

I really like amechu

But honestly never been a big fan of the way the fandom interprets it? like, the fandom basis it off a grossly incorrect understanding of geo-politics and how debt works

Always seems to make America out to be a stupid dumb child nee 2012 fandom style. All while also making China into a one dimension wicked villain who sexually takes advantage of the innocent young America

Idk gives me the ick

[starrytheclown]

Rant ahead!! Very long post:

Welp. There goes tiktok, the first social media app that I started to gain a following on and that help me and many other grow as artists.

This whole tiktok ban is so fucking dumb. Tbh when I saw that the app had been banned I started crying, not cause I was sad that I was gonna lose my moots and a bunch of great people (though I am sad abt that, I miss my moots gang) more so at that fact that people used this app to pay their bills, buy groceries, and just overall make a livelihood for themselves. It pisses me off how people are gonna have to relocate to a new platform and maybe have ti start over at growing the platform again. It fucking sucks.

This app meant so much to me and other ppl, because it honestly helped people learn more about what'd going on in the world, tiktok helped learn more abt palestine amd how what was happening there was bad! This app helped people find or make a community to feel safe and express themselves in, and it sucks that it actually got banned.

I hope tiktok gets brought back, I hope that people who used this app to pay their bills and support their families are doing ok :(

It's gonna be a chaotic next few days with this ban so hope you guys r doing ok <33

(Sorry this is so long I just low key needed to rant abt this)

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

something about going on pinterest after a long productive day of studying and it's the evening and you're tired and feeling kinda funky and stumble upon an edit of one of your favourite ships and it just feels sooo good. like it just feels so right, the particular edit. the way the graphics and cuts are designed and the music and the fancasts, it itches just right. seems to be a monthly thing too.

[blooming-periwxnkle]

This is the last time I am going to rant abt this chapter and

This chapter was so heartbreaking... it honestly pains me sm to see how alone Suwon really is after all. He has accepted that he's gonna die and there's no cure for his illness,and at the very end he just wants to make sure that Kouka ends up in a safe position,even if it means leaving it to the gods,the same gods who are responsible for his clan's suffering and ultimately the unfortunate end that he foresees for himself. Even in his final moments, kouka is all he's thinking about,and he's ready to compromise with his own beliefs as long as it ensures Kouka's stability...

The lack of anyone caring for Suwon as a person is just so heartbreaking. He's dying and when he tries to talk to his childhood friend,the only answer he receives is that he's being selfish rn...seriously Hak?

"Things would've been fine if you married Yona"...is that where everything starts and ends for you? Did you really prefer such a fate for Yona? Yes she would've married the person she had a crush on,but Suwon's stance on it was quite clear since the beginning,he did not wish to marry her,then why do you still think that marrying a person who was always opposed to that idea was the ideal solution for the whole mess?

The way Suwon gave me "I've done all I had to do" vibes in this chapter was so..so sad. It's like he believes the entire purpose of his existence was to ensure his kingdom's stability, as if his existence as a person did not matter at all... and the fact that no one around him is there to tell him otherwise is even worse. He has almost lost all his allies' support,he's literally so lonely right now.

Even during his childhood,his mom was heavily codependent on him, and the 9 yr old child who had just lost his father,had to pretend that he was okay to ensure that his mom's health does not worsen. All the adults around him threw their dreams and ambitions on his shoulders, and as if all this was not enough,his mom ended up writing to the person who was responsible for her husband's death and endangered his life...

After all this.. this is the end he receives...

[aria0fgold]

You gotta believe me, I'm-- I'm Normal-- (favourite moment in ms1.5 being a scene in which Cain was in a dire near-death situation with a severe wound on his stomach due to being attacked by Cerberus cuz of KizuOwen is honestly the opposite of being normal).

[tvrningout-a]

i should've switched to writing original stuff ages ago bc i could've been overcoming writer's block if i did :' )

[dolldoll5987]

I'm finally doing it. I'm k1ll1ng my$3lf.

Dehydration + starvation, and good news is that I'm already a little underweight (by 5 lbs) and I never feel hungry nor thirsty. Something pushed me over the edge. I can't take it anymore.

Look, I have absolutely nothing. Yes, I have a house, a small one and it's by a bad area of town and I'm so scared to go out, but I still try to. I have a family, but not many live nearby, and the few who do I don't like (for a great reason). I only live with my mom, and she's physically falling apart. She's overprotective and won't let me go many places (I'm 19), and she's too broken to take me places, so I'm just suck there. I can go around the block but that's about it. There's nothing nearby besides stores, restaurants, and gas stations. I graduated only 2 months ago but school was all I had.

Because of her overprotective nature, I was never really allowed to hang out with people or really go anywhere after school. To a point, I don't blame her, I was and still am quite a vulnerable person. I have chronic depression, chronic anxiety, anorexia, autism, ADHD, OCD, and anger issues, and I think mild paranoia when it comes to leaving the house. The only thing not officially diagnosed is anorexia and anger issues, which latter you don't really need a diagnosis for, and the former is just obvious at this point. Paranoia, I don't have an official diagnosis for, but I'm paranoid because of how much worse my anxiety has gotten. I think I have derealisation and depersonalisation from my depression as well, but I hate self-diagnosing myself unless it's just blatantly obvious that anyone could tell. Like my anorexia and paranoia.

Medication, therapy, and psych ward visits never helped. I have no friends, I can't drive (and am too anxiety to learn and don't really want to, but I still feel so pathetic bc of it), I can't cook, I can't do laundry, I can't wash dishes, I can't do anything. My mother never taught me these things because I suppose "here, let me teach you," is harder than just being like "I'll do it myself, it's easier." I don't even have the motivation to learn. I don't have the motivation to live. People like me who have been miserable for so long and ruined their life beyond repair deserve death with dignity.

By my own philosophy, there is no meaning to life. You find that for yourself through aspirations, desires, motivation, etc. I don't have anything. I don't want a job because I'm far too mentally unstable for it, and I'd rather die than be forced to work and pay to live this horrible life. I can't go to college because I don't have the motivation for more school, and I was so miserable during middle and high school.

And besides, I legit don't deserve to live. I'm a horrible person. I'm ungrateful, selfish, angry, hateful, pessimistic, and so much more. This isn't untrue because the only two people who care about my existence (my mother being one) have said this, and I agree. The other person was someone whom I've cut significant contact with because I realise I'm too unstable for a relationship and I'm ruining their life too because of it. He said that stuff too (well, most of it). I'm such a despicable human being I can't take it. It's so hard to find the motivation to change when this shitty life drained me of every ounce of motivation I might have once had. And I'm tired of hurting people. I'm doing this to save them, to save myself, and to pay my debt to what I have done.

[bethiewhimsy]

overwhelmed with my love for bsd this fine day

[exbeaut]

ok yes loving daisy jones so far bc i did just re read the book today so i’m back in it but my one qualm so far is that daisy is not unhinged like?? i don’t mind what minor plot/story changes they have made so far in fact i like it bc the book is completely told by multiple unreliable narrators that’s the whole point esp with the “plot twist” billy’s version (and daisys to less of an extent but still close to it bc she cared about camilla so she wouldn’t want to hurt julia) of things can’t be believed at all lmaooo so i don’t mind the changes i feel it’s a good way to frame it more real or whatever but my issue is why is Daisy so like put together??? she was insane and off her shit from age fourteen but so far three eps in she’s so ?? composed?? even in daisys unreliable pov of the book she knows she was an addict and a disaster and billy too on the first tour but in the show it’s so toned down maybe for viewer rating sakes? like maybe they can’t show heroin on prime shows idk lmaooo