#just not right away
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angie-words · 6 months ago
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A Good Omens fanfic: Write A Way - Chapter 1
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CW: self-doubt/esteem issues, past trauma due to being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world, light angst, smut, explicit sex (eventually)
Summary: 
Azira Fell and AJ Crowley are both successful authors in their own right, invited to speak at the same national book festival. Despite a falling out a couple of years ago, they've never actually met in person - so this event is going to be excruciatingly awkward for both of them.
Right?
As it happens, and unbeknownst to them, it seems they share a love of a certain TV show... and being very active parts of its fandom (yep, it's Fanfic Writer Crowley and Fanfic Reader Aziraphale time!)
Excerpt:
The hotel desk staff was saying something else, but a blip had appeared in Crowley’s peripheral vision, drawing his attention from instructions about meal times and room service options. There, a few feet away, his eyes rested upon a familiar figure, most notably upon the shock of white, almost dandelion-fluff curls. Crowley groaned and, in reflex, he turned his head fully to see his arch nemesis standing a little way further along the desk, a bright smile on his face as he discussed Continental Breakfast availability.
Crowley sighed. Best get this over with, he thought. 
“Hello, Fell.”
The man paused in his ramblings about the virtues of apricot jam and slowly turned to face him. Crowley set his lips in a thin line as Azira Fell stared, fog-blue eyes wide in some unreadable emotion that he hoped was simply surprise and not loathing.
“Oh,” came an uncertain, clipped response, “it’s you.”
Crowley waited for a follow-up and, when it became clear nothing else was forthcoming, he snorted, feeling that familiar stab of rejection. “Yeah, great to see you too. Good talk.” 
He took the key card from the bemused staff member’s hand, nodded a thanks and charged off past the only other author to ever get under his skin.
Continue reading on AO3!
On a side note, this is my first multi-chapter fic, and also my first Human AU for Good Omens. Comments and feedback are always welcome 💜
Thank you to @sakascal @playdohangel @rofell @azeutreciathewicked and @ines2925 for being my wonderful beta readers over this and forthcoming chapters!
@whickberstreetwriters
@goodomensafterdark
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thegrantwater · 4 months ago
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new fic alert!!! new fic alert!!!
finally posting something after almost another year long hiatus from writing. i got a little more in depth about where i've been and what it's been like to write this in the end notes of the fic, so if you're curious go there, but i'll definitely be posting about it on here soon. so in the meantime....
we fill the gaps (you and me make three) chapter 1 is posted on my ao3! i've been dropping little hints about it for months, and my story for last years sqsn was the main driving point behind this fic (and yes the title for both fics comes from the same song, in my mind strange birds is a predecessor or sort of outline to this). the intro of strange birds was actually ripped straight from the draft for this, because i started rewriting season 1 almost two years ago and at the time had written some pre-henry-curse regina analysis to tie into it. this first chapter covers the events of s1e1 to about s1e19, and the rest of s1 up to the curse breaking will be chapter 2. consider its length both a treat and a warning that this is going to take a while.
love you guys <3
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milkchocimono · 7 months ago
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scaramouche didn’t want freedom from ei. i wish more people understood this. yes, ei's intentions were pure, but i think the literal god of freedom said it best. what is freedom if a god forces it onto you? if ei had simply asked scaramouche what he wanted, we wouldn’t have “scaramouche” at all. but ei would simply never ask someone else what they want for their own fate, at least not at that point in her life. thats the whole point to ei’s arc. she believes she knows best as a god, and because of that she hurts so many people around her by being so stupid stubborn. she made a mistake, and scaramouche doesn’t owe her forgiveness, even if we would all like to see them hold hands and be family, in the actual context of the game i think it would be so unsatisfying and totally out of character (for scaramouche as he is presently) to forgive her. you can see in his one (1, which i will admit is not alot lol) voiceline about her that he holds contempt still for what she did. and he’s right in that.
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perrieedwards · 5 months ago
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i feel like people are skimming over the uk riots in a way that makes me want to tear my hair out. muslims in the uk are in active danger. immigrants in the uk are in active danger. refugees in the uk are in active danger. people of colour in the uk are in active danger. asian communities in the uk are in active danger. black communities in the uk are in active danger.
there are massive far right riots throughout the country right now and people like fucking elon musk and nigel farage are inciting it and still have a platform to speak. people have used three young girls deaths, people's genuine grief in southport, to try and gain traction for their own racist bullshit and it's working.
a lot of refugee charities have been forced to close leaving many people without support, homes, funding, food, etc. if you aren't able to donate please consider sending a message via the conversation over borders campaign! it will send a hopeful, welcoming letter to a refugee in the uk. there is also a guide to staying safe here.
please do your own research and donate to refugee charities, anti-islamophobia charities, mosques who are trying to rebuild after being destroyed, counter protesters, here are some i've heard positive things about but the list is extensive; southport strong together (support for the southport victims and their families), southport mosque rebuilding, riot repair fund, middlesbrough vulnerable residents, nasir mosque rebuilding, hull help for refugees, bristol welcomes migrants,
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milkywayzsworld · 28 days ago
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palamedeeznuts · 2 years ago
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Studies that have shown that not just children, but dark-skinned people as well are at greater risk for being hit by a self-driving car (about 5% less accurate detection than for the light-skinned group).
Algorithms are BIASED. Growing an objective algorithm is impossible. Humans are inherently biased and algorithms inherently reflect the human brain.
Self-driving cars are in conclusion just a small percentage of humanity driving all cars.
March 2019 (and link to paper)
October 2021 (LA Times)
Putting this here because apparently Tesla wants it taken down and the og post was already deleted.
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redvelvetwishtree · 1 year ago
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chloesimaginationthings · 1 month ago
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The real reason why FNAF movie Vanessa got her job,,
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quelfabulous · 1 year ago
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"We don't need to do anything. We can just be."
Happy bi/pan visibility day (it's everyday for me). Also a sprinkle of ace and a dash of survivor and to top it all off- other expressions of intimacy, affection & connection taken seriously. I'm doing an Astarion origin playthrough and I ship him with Karlach like FedEx, your honor.
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veliseraptor · 2 years ago
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have realized that while i am not a fan necessarily of "people meet and immediately fall in love" i am a fan of "people meet and are immediately obsessed with each other." the love can come later but the absolute fixation should be immediate
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hinamie · 4 months ago
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spiraling
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#gojo satoru#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#the minute i realized how tg coded the composition n colours were i decided to turn it up to 11#i was racking my brain trying 2 figure out how to get the layered tissue paper look tht i talked abt ishida's cover art having#cycled through all my usual layer modes n nothing ws Quite right#until wouldnt u know it . divide n subtract!!!!! i NEVER use divide or subtract bc theyre impossible#but fr this??? its like they were made for it oh my god#it makes the greys look translucent n all my textures pop in a way that makes them appear splotchy n Bruised#which ws the whole point thts the Look god i am so PLEASED#when the layer modes tht notoriously get No love finally find their niche <33 peace and love <333#filing this away fr later i am going 2 have a lot of fun with this new information i think#im very happy w how the colours look n i dont think anything else wld have kept the right Mood#but i am always so >:/ when i have to use a palette tht forces me into giving megumi blue eyes#had to set aside th green eyed megu agenda fr the Aesthetic unfortunately#anyway i knew from the minute i saw it that i wanted to do smth involving the opening panel of 268#bc that panel is S tier#i figured tht if nothing came 2 me i wld just redraw it as-is bc it's alr so good but as i ws sketching i was like#u know what u havent done in a while? art tht looks like u r going Insane#art tht makes ur family ask whether everything is ok#so i once again tucked megumi's knees up 2 his chest and apologized insincerely to him fr making the third megumi angst piece in a row#:)
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annabelle--cane · 22 days ago
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"compulsory sexuality isn't a thing, no one cares if you don't fuck, in fact our puritanical society actually prefers it if you're sexless, especially if you're a woman" oh phew, for a second I thought we lived in a world where for hundreds of years it was considered a wife's legal responsibility to provide her husband with sex upon command, thank god I was mistaken and no woman has ever faced social, legal, medical, or physical repercussions for not having sex.
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wardingshout · 7 days ago
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ALTTP december warm ups and doodling (and one from today, happy new year)
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evanhereonearth · 1 month ago
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Solas, outnumbered seven to one, overpowered by a lot more than that, betrayed by his best friend Mythal who bound him to her service and coerced him into leaving the Fade and coerced him into making a weapon that would make an entire people tranquil to stop the war she started AND ignored him when he said it would create *checks notes* a blight and made him do it anyway. Solas, facing seven blighted wannabe gods who turned on his best abusive friend Mythal when she finally stood up to them after CENTURIES of him begging her to do just that and starting a rebellion to free all their multitudes of slaves: *creates the veil, imprisons the blight and the Evanuris, and preserves all life in Thedas* World: FUCK THE DREAD WOLF, GOD OF TREACHERY AND LIES *worships the Evanuris and their dragon thralls*
Solas: zzzzzzzzzz (knocked out cold from saving the world for LITERALLY SEVERAL MILLENNIA MORE)
Tevinter: *razes what's left of Elvhenan, steals all their magic, enslaves the elven people for entire length of Solas's world-saving-induced coma*
Also Tevinter: *breaks into the fucking black city and brings out the blight*
Also also Tevinter: *uses so much blood magic that the veil ends up in tatters*
The Blight: >:)
World: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck *throws everything they can at the blight, including--*checks notes again*--the blight
Orlais: you know what sucks? elves. let's kill them all
Ferelden: good shout, mes amis
Orlais: you know what also sucks? mages. put them in prisons.
Ferelden: you're full of good ideas when you're not invading us
Free Marches: MAGE PRISON, YOU SAY?
Orlais: add templars who can decide to murder them or make them tranquil on a whim at any moment
Ferelden and Free Marches: *frantically taking notes*
Rivain and Nevarra: we're just going to be...over here...
Blights 1-5: i've got a great idea i've got a great idea
Blights 1-5 after a while: my great idea didn't work :(
Archdemons 1-5: ....... :(
Evanuris 1-5: ......... :(
Solas, waking up in 9:40ish Dragon: what the...WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCKING FUCK. they can just KILL MAGE CHILDREN? AND PURGE ALIENAGES? AND ALMOST EVERY ELF IN TEVINTER IS A SLAVE? *absolutely rabid, seeks out the Dalish, as remnants of his people*
The Dalish, at Solas: *ARROWS*
Solas: ......fuck this shit, fuck all of this shit, fuck these tyrants in particular, fuck this fucking...UGH
The veil, after all this: (o.O:0oO.)
The remaining blighted Evanuris and the 99% of blight that did not escape: :)
Solas: well, that is a problem, going to need to address that ASAP, but turns out millennia of coma doesn't leave a spirit spry
Corypheus, busting out of warden jail: I AM FREE
Solas: hm, could kill that guy letting him unlock my orb, since he broke into my blight prison in the first place and defo deserves dying
Corypheus: veil needs a certain je ne sais quoi, a...bigger hole. i will make one.
Wardens: yes, good plan, blighted magister man. we are in control of the blight inside us and also heroes *in death, sacrifice = divine justinia's ritual sacrifice under thrall*
The veil:
O
Corypheus: >:( but like...not dead
Solas: well, i did not see that coming
Lavellan: *in chains, threatened with execution*
humans: KNIFE EAR >:(
Lavellan: *hole in the sky, hole in her memories, hole in her fucking hand* fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, wait, this hole in my hand helps close holes in the SKY
Solas: *.* It seems you hold the key to our salvation
Lavellan: i'm sorry what
humans: HERALD OF ANDRASTE!!!!!!!! *falls to knees*
Lavellan: I'M SORRY WHAT
Chantry: *choking in the corner*
Cassandra: time for you to decide the fate of the world
Lavellan: I'M. SORRY. WHAT???????? you know what? fine. *stops alexius from blood magicking his way through redcliffe and time itself, gets punted into a hellscape of nightmares and makes it back with the help of a rebel tevinter mage* the mages i rescued from becoming probable slaves to tevinter are our allies and dorian is my new best friend for being the only reason i made it back alive and the whole world didn't die *dabs*
Cassandra: >:(
Mother Giselle: >:(
Lavellan: ffs
Corypheus: *dragon temper tantrum*
Lavellan: *somehow escapes both dragon and Corypheus, trudges through blizzard, collapses*
Mother Giselle: *.* I FEEL A SONG COMING ON
Literally everyone but Solas: *falls to their knees*
Solas: a word?
Lavellan: OH THANK HEAVENS
Solas: these people are wack and aren't going to like that Corypheus is using elven magic *cough*, they're a hairsbreadth from executing us at all moments lol, btw here's a castle, you know, for you cos i highkey see myself in you and god i'm so fucking lonely
Lavellan: me too but wait, what the fuck is happening. you know what? fuck it. solas, what if we kissed,,, in the fade
Solas: what IF we kissed,,, in the fade *fade tongue*
Solas: ...you continue to surprise me. you show a wisdom i have not seen...since my deepest journeys into the fade!
Lavellan: don't you dare walk away from me now
Solas: okay vhenan i stay
Vivienne: this is a DEMON and NOT A PET
Lavellan: *blinks* right, no, this spirit kid who is the literal only reason we escaped Haven alive is my son now. if he hadn't read roderick's mind we'd all be avalanched or blighted dragoned, so SUCK IT UP
Vivienne: >:(
Cassandra: >:(
Sera: >:(
Bull: >:(
Varric: >:(
Solas: :D
Wardens: btw we're doing blood magic and raising an army of demons. not really our fault but also not NOT our fault? idk, blight in the blood, morally grey area. get it? grey...war--never mind, we'll be at adamant xoxo
Cullen: lotsa soldiers gonna die
Lavellan: fuck, is there another choice?
Advisors: ...no
Cory's dragon: *burninating the adamant, burninating the wardens, burninating all the people and this crumbling ROCKY BRIIIIIIDGE! CRUMBLING ROCKY BRIDGEEEEE*
Lavellan, flying through the air hundreds of feet towards the ground: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck *opens a rift into the fade*
Everyone but Solas: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK WE'RE IN THE FADE
Solas: we're in the FADE!!!!!
Lavellan, after escaping the nightmare's lair: glad half the team is pissed at me, what's next, an imperial ball? how hard can that be?
Orlesians: they invited an ELF SAVAGE >:(
Lavellan: you know what, fuck this and fuck Celene for genociding the entire Halamshiral alienage and fuck you, Gaspard, you can be Briala's little French Orlesian bulldog
Half the Inquisition: *shocked pikachu*
Morrigan: allow me to shemsplain all of elven history to everyone, including Solas, yourself, and all the ancient elves in this temple
Lavellan: you know what? okay. *rubs at Mythal's vallaslin, makes eyes real big* who is this "Mythal"
Solas: *choking in the corner*
Cassandra, muttering: i do not want to do a ritual to a false god
Morrigan: lemme have the well, lemme have it, i deserve it more than you
Lavellan: ...abso-fucking-lutely not *drinks from the well out of pure spite*
Solas: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, VHENAN
Lavellan: idk vhenan, this world sucks and i wanna make it better and i love you
Solas: ...you are everything and you inspire me, hurry, i need to tell you i'm the dread wolf but am going to break up with you and remove your slave markings instead and btw they're basically a drawing of me in my true form and honestly, this whole thing is real fucked up and you're the only real person in my entire life who sees me
Lavellan: wait what
Solas: i'm bad and don't deserve you and had to harden my heart to save the world before and everyone hated me for it so i'm projecting when i say you must harden your heart to a cutting edge to kill Corypheus, I'll explain after we kill him
Lavellan: ...oh yeah guess we should do that but I gotta go meet Mythal first
Solas: wait what
Mythal: *is Morrigan's mum, is only mostly dead, also 100% cool with overriding her servants' will entirely for shits and giggles, 0/10 do not trust* i'll help you if you fight this dragon lol
Morrigan: *choking in the corner*
Corypheus: *has a mahoosive temper tantrum when Mythal's pet dragon kills his pet dragon, dies*
Solas: ;-; ilu, inky, what we had was real but i'm afraid to do to you what Mythal did to me. I MUST AWAY
Lavellan: ....
World: HERALD OF ANDRASTE!!!!!!!!!!!!*
*some restrictions may apply, like in a couple years we're going to forget everything you did and be real mad at you
Solas, somewhere: been there, vhenan
World, two years later: :D we're here to hate you, right on schedule
Qunari: you are in need of the gentle path. therefore, we are coming to kill you all
Solas: like hell you will. but come to think of it, this is a good excuse to see vhenan again
Lavellan's arm: TIME TO DIE
Solas: defo another good excuse to see vhenan again. probs should study that arm anyway
Lavellan, after several Qunari too many: CAN ANYTHING IN THIS FUCKING WORLD STAY FIXED
Inquisition, including Divine Victoria: *shocked pikachu*
Lavellan: i'm going back through the fucking looking glass to talk to some ancient elven sentinels with Mythal's magic whisper well, they're the only fucking thing that makes sense here
Qunari: *destroying everything in sight but getting hounded by the dread wolf at every step*
Lavellan, whose arm is trying to kill her but is following Qunari through her own people's magic mirror world: ...i think i'm in love with the dread wolf
Companions: pfffffft
Cole: :D YES, YOU ARE AND HE LOVES YOU TOO
Lavellan: thank god i have you, cole, my spirit son
Solas, in a statuary garden of petrified Qunari: i suspect you have questions
Lavellan: honestly, fen'harel, not really
Solas: *shocked pikachu* well done
Lavellan: i'm real tired and you could have just trusted me back in Crestwood.
Solas: this world is broken, i must tear down the veil
Lavellan: yep, i'm one "knife ear" away from putting a knife in the next human's ear who says it tbh, i'd rather live in the fade with you and my spirit son, can i help you pls vhenan
Solas: ...no
Lavellan: wtf
Solas, internally panicking because he followed Mythal wherever she went and she dragged him to literal hell and trauma and now his one true love is offering to follow him while he probably makes things worse again: absolutely not, no, but i love you forever
Lavellan's arm: >:(
Solas: ...right, i gotta take that
Lavellan: wait what
Solas: i will never forget you *trundles through mirror with severed arm*
Lavellan: oh fuck my entire life, you know what, Ferelden and Orlais? Inquisition is no more, i'm going on sabbatical to Stone Bear Hold where at least people are not insane and Storvacker loves me, and then i'm going home to the castle vhenan gave me. don't call me. byeeee
ten years later
Varric: gonna go stop Solas, who invented the veil and is From Fade, from doing things i don't understand, wish me luck, inky
Lavellan: WAIT ONE GODDAMNED SECOND I'M COMING WITH YOU
Varric: no <3 i found a complete rando who will fuck everything up
Rook: hey, what if i drop a statue on this nuclear arsenal protecting the biggest biological weapon of mass destruction known to all of thedas? that'll help
Neve, a literal mage who should know even small rituals can blow up and kill you: probs not a good idea but Varric, a dwarf who knows nothing about magic or the veil or the Fade whatsoever says this ritual must be stopped At All Costs By Any Means Necessary so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Varric: Solas I will shoot you with Bianca
Solas: ffs stop *breaks Bianca*
Varric: can you promise me your way is better
Solas: i know way better than to make promises like that, have you seen this world???
Varric: GOTCHA, YOU LYING LIAR WHO LIES
Rook: TIIIIIIIIIIIIIMBERRRRRRR
Varric: defo going to attack the guy whose millennia of existence has been centred on this massive magical problem i do not even comprehend a little after waiting ten years to ask a single question about it when he'd already got going *tries to stab Solas*
Solas, feeling everything he's spent all of world history protecting the world from breaking out of jail: turns the dagger and stabs Varric instead
Elgar'nan: >:)
Ghilan'nain: >:)
Solas: oh for fucking FUCK'S SA--*exit, stage Fade Jail*
Blight: >:)
Rook: oops
Neve and Harding: omg this could not possibly be our fault at all, not even a little. it's Solas's fault, the lying liar who lies
Lavellan: i will not murder this stupid child, i will not murder this stupid child, i will not murder this stupid child
Morrigan: we have to help the stupid child
Lavellan: we have to help the stupid child
Morrigan and Lavellan: *look at each other*
Lavellan: when this is over, i stg--
Morrigan, who has millennia of memories of Mythal abusing Solas and decades of Flemythal abusing her: yeah no i will throw you a going away party and take care of Dorian for you and help you get your boyfriend back and no way will i fight him, this is actually ridiculous
Ferelden, Orlais, and the Free Marches, all of whom turned on Lavellan ten years ago: hELP help HELP there's BLIIIIIGHT
Lavellan to Leliana: you owe me a hundred gold
Leliana: *hands over a solid gold nug*
Ferelden: X_X
Orlais: X_X
Free Marches: X_X
Lavellan: *grits teeth* i better go meet with rook
Rook: andaran atish'an, honoured inquisitor
Lavellan: yo. sure would be nice to be meeting without our gods, you know, destroying absolutely everything i've spent a quarter of my life protecting and rebuilding after the last apocalypse but here we are i guess
Morrigan: *smirks at shade*
Northern Thedas: ROOK IS THE BEST
Southern Thedas: is rook tho
Ghilan'nain: muahahaha i have so many drago---nooo you killed my dragons and i am BLEEDING LIKE A MORTAL PIECE OF MORTAL SCUM
Elgar'nan: my dragon used to be bigger :(
Ghilan'nain: your dragon's fine
Elgar'nan: Ghilly, make it bigger again
Ghilan'nain: can't, too sad. blood. :(
Southern Thedas: *throwing nugs at blight* hELP
Lavellan, with half of Southern Thedas crammed into skyhold: thanks for the castle, vhenan, we'd all literally be dead without it, again
Morrigan: erm, Inky? seems everyone's telling Rook Solas is just a big monster lying liar who lies and blaming him for everything
Lavellan: that's what people do, blame Solas. had a bad day? blame Solas. Mythal wants to sever the titans' dreams? Blame Solas. Rashvine nettle sting? Blame Solas. Bring the veil 5/7 or so of the way down themselves after releasing the blight? Blame Solas. Rook let the gods out? Blame Solas
Morrigan: Inky.
Lavellan: you want me to go pour out my heart to the person who imprisoned vhenan and let out Ghilan'nain, Mother of Tentacles, and Elgar'nan "My Dragon is Bigger than Your Dragon" First and Worst of the Evanuris, don't you
Morrigan: yee
Lavellan: FINE but you better spill every ounce of tea you've got on the stupid child before i go because i need to at least make rook squirm a LITTLE
Morrigan: i thought you'd never ask
Elgar'nan: you won't make my dragon bigger??? fine i'll move the moon instead
Northern Thedas: i'm sorry what
Anyone at sea anywhere on the planet: I'M SORRY WHAT
Ghilan'nain: *throws a temper tantrum and dies*
Elgar'nan: >:(
Solas: fuck this shit, i'm getting out of Fade Jail
Rook: :(
Minrathous: fuck fuck fuck FUCK fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK
Solas: hello, people who enslaved my people for millennia, i am here to save the day i guess
Minrathous, slapping blight tentacles out of their faces: ...honestly thank you
Solas: wait what
Rook: I ESCAPE FADE JAIL SOLAS YOU BASTARD LYING LIAR WHO LIES
Lavellan: i will not murder the stupid child, i will not murder the stupid child, i will not murder the stupid child
Solas: you know what, fair play, here's the dagger, there's elgar'nan, ima bite his dragon, you go have a great time. have fun storming the blight tentacle
Venatori, poster children for the Leopards Who Eat People's Faces Party: nooo the leopards keep eating our faces
Minrathous: wow who could have possibly predicted that
Everyone who has ever met a Venatori: yes, yes, very sad
Elgar'nan, eating every face in the magesterium and effectively cleansing Tevinter of the worst of its monsters in one fell swoop: ah, rook, you can't kill me, i have the biggest dragon ever to dragon
Dread Wolf: honestly he's kinda not wrong, this dragon is a bastard and i am like a fifth of its size and getting p tired, ngl
Rook's Blighted Companion: welp gonnae put this trauma to use for the greater good. go go gadget blight tentacles, release the Dread Pupper
Elgar'nan: *shocked pikachu*
Dread Wolf: *chomp*
Elgar'nan: *throws a temper tantrum and dies*
Solas: oh ffs finally
Rook: not so fast
Solas: oh ffs here we fucking go
Rook: i don't actually want to fight you
Solas: wait, what
Rook: i think this is all my fault but everyone keeps telling me i'm the hero and that's fucked up. and your vhenan, she's nice to me, no one really else is, i'm just everybody's apocalypse therapist, and i even kinda like you tbh, my whole team basically does fun stuff without me and doesn't even invite me to book club and emmrich's the only one who asks me about my feelings instead of just asking me to do stuff for them, and anyway, i'm going to trust the inquisitor here because i'm honestly starved for connection and she thinks you're worth saving so can we talk i don't wanna fight
Solas: what
Lavellan, out of sight, reliving the litany of "i will not murder this stupid child": oh haha awkward
Solas: look,,, i've been bound to the service of an ancient elvhen god for millennia and everything i do, whether i know it or not, is for her, so i can't do what you want and this sucks
Lavellan: even if i'm here, walking the din'an shiral with you?
Solas: ...vhenan
Lavellan: ;_;
Solas: ;_; ...I cannot
Morrigan: yo dread wolf, my mum's a piece of work and i have all her memories and everything she did to you was fuuuuuuuuucked up, anyway, over to her, honestly not pissed you killed that part of her btw, she reeeeally fucked you up, but rook somehow managed to talk her out of her essence, so that's impressive
Solas: what
Mythal: yeah i kinda tore you out of your home and twisted you from your purpose and made you do murder and worse for me for millennia and said i wanted your wisdom and then never ever listened to you ever and just dragged you through every atrocity i created and perpetuated
Solas: it hurts and i guess you're going to kill me now so here's the dagger ;_;
Mythal: it's still mostly your fault but i was there too i guess, anyway, i release you from my service, which i could have done at any point in the past several millennia but instead I tortured you endlessly, lol god of retribution, that's me. k bye
Solas: what the fucking fuck
Lavellan: right there with you, like literally forever, our love is a miracle and the only thing i can even cope with
Solas: yeah honestly fuck this shit, i'm out, i will put myself in fade jail
Lavellan: you are not going by yourself i stg take me with you i wanna go home
Solas: ...home is a literal prison now
Lavellan: sealed away from all this shit? from getting blamed for everything we do no matter how much we sacrifice? if it's you and me there together, i don't care if it's a grey box full of darkspawn
Solas: there's no darkspa--
Lavellan: ffs i said i want to go, you don't have to sell me on it. you're the only person in this world who Gets It. we go on together, forever.
Solas: *.* my wife
Lavellan: *.* my wolf
Northern Thedas: and rook saved the world from the dread wolf, who was a lying liar who lies
Southern Thedas: *busy being dead and blighted*
Lavellan: yeah, fuck this shit, we're out
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You can now download this shitpost in beautifully formatted PDF, courtesy of @amburuthings. Thank u for your service *salutes*
You all have had me howling with the tags on reblogs, thank you, I am absolutely dying in deadline hell and needed that
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egophiliac · 8 months ago
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bring your son to work day
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artkaninchenbau · 7 months ago
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People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again
#My art#One Piece#Long post#Sir Crocodile#Nico Robin#Alternatively panel 5 would've been a close up of Crocodile's face from Robin's POV where he looks like he's giving her a death glare#Not intentionally he's just a big scary bastard with a Resting Murder Face and Robin is a small traumatized child#But I wanted to focus on the silliness of the moment so you get the goofy version instead#IDK man there's just something very funny to me about the idea of Robin just randomly info-dumping about a subject she's read about#And Crocodile being like ''?????????????????????? The fuck you talking about??''#Robin leaves the ship's kitchen and Crocodile just stares at the tomato like ''...It's a fruit? Forreal?''#(Meanwhile Robin is sweating bullets like ''I called his favorite vegetable a FRUIT right in his FACE he's going to KILL ME'')#Robin grew extra feet from the bottom of her feet to reach the counter and that actually isn't me trying to explain bad art away#In the original Papadile comic there was a panel of Robin doing the dishes with extra feet to reach the sink but I cut it out#(It was a stress relief comic I did not feel like drawing a complicated background in detail) (BUT YES I THOUGHT OF IT)#Nico Robin Age 11 is *more* than capable of cooking Crocodile just does not trust her with his food. At least not yet#She did start doing the dishes unprompted and continues to do so (mostly out of fear). Croc told her she didn't have to but allows it#IDK a lot of people seem to headcanon Crocodile as incapable of cooking and like. Surely Mr ''I don't trust people'' knows how to cook#Like he doesn't have to be a master chef or anything but and maybe he enjoys not HAVING to cook (pain in the ass with one hand + knife/hook#But surely he can cook decent enough. SURELY#Botanists don't @ me I know the ''tomato is a fruit'' thing isn't fully accurate this is just a silly little haha comic
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