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The Mum Club

My first day of parental leave was chill.  I built cool stuff for my older kids and made a seriously delicious dinner.  I have totally got this primary care giver thing down pat.

I completed my morning duties again - drop #3 at daycare; drop #2 at pre-school; drop #1 at school.  Today I reversed the order so I could muscle into the Mum Club and start laying the ground work for some invitations to pilates and Catalinas.  

I said my goodbyes to #1 at the school gate.  

Every morning, for the past however many years I have been dropping the kids off at school, pre-school and/or daycare, I have always farewelled them with a mega squeezy hug, a big kiss, and an excessively loud “have a great day mate, I love you to the moon and back”.

The Mum Club was standing in a tight circle around one of the Mums in the same way I imagine a Special Forces Team huddles around their Commander for a confidential mission briefing.  Penetrating the Special Forces formation would be difficult. 

I should mention that I know most of the Mums in the Mum Club.  They are genuinely lovely women.  We have all been dropping our respective variously aged children off at the same schools, pre-schools and daycares for years now.  

However, because I’ve always been dropping my kids off en route to work, my interactions with the members of the Mum Club have always been limited to a polite “hello”, “have a nice day”, or “did you have a nice weekend at your farm on the weekend?”.  I’ve never really had the time for more than social niceties.   

But guess what?  I didn’t have to be anywhere else today.  No work, no meetings, no annoying Zoom, Skype or Teams calls.  So I just awkwardly stood at the school gate.  

My awkwardness was sensed by the Mum Club (who were similarly standing, albeit not awkwardly, at the gate).  One of my favourite Mums turned around and commented on how lovely it was that my eldest son still kissed me goodbye.

This was my chance.  Don’t stuff it up!  I froze and then blurted out something which I had intended on being witty but came out incomprehensibly.  

By way of background, I was diagnosed with dyslexia when I was a kid and have spent the last few decades perfecting masking it.  In my corporate life, I can shift into auto-pilot and always ace presentations, announcements, and other public engagements.  But in social situations, I occasionally stumble.  Damn it, this was one of those times. 

Take a deep breath and recover.  “Thanks!  Yeah, he’s a great kid.  I hope he doesn’t grow out of it.  What are you guys up to?”, I say. 

“We are just talking about new cars.  What do you think about the new Land Rover Defender and the new Porsche Macan?”, she says.

OMFG.  Keep calm.  Cars!  This is my jam.  Don’t go in too hard.  Also, why is the Mum Club talking about cars - I had always assumed they just talked about which private senior school their kids were enrolled into or how rude their new French au pair was. 

I stayed as cool as a cucumber and talked the Mum Club through the pros and cons of both cars.  Catalinas here I come.  

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My First Day

I have always approached “first days” with a mix of nervousness and excitement.  Will the first day of my new job go well?  Will the first day of this holiday be everything I expected?  Will my eldest kid’s first day of school be awesome? 

My first day of extended parental leave was no different.  In fact, my entire first week was going to be a bludge. #1 was at school, #2 was at pre-school and #3 had one week of full-time daycare left until being relinquished into my care. 

I had the entire week to myself.  What the hell was I going to do?  What did stay-at-home parents with school-going kids do during the day?  In Paddington, those parents seemed to pass their time with a healthy mix reformer pilates and lunch dates at Catalinas. 

I started writing a list of all the cool shit I’d do for the kids.  Build new super-fast remote controlled cars for #1 and #2 (they had outgrown the slower ones I built for them last year) - tick!  Make a sick wooden jump for #1 and #2 to launch their r/c cars off - tick!  Build a mega cubby house out of the spare furniture in the shed for all the kids (including me!) to play in - tick!  Cook salmon papillotes, frits and a vinaigrette salad for dinner - a very delicious tick! 

My first day of parental leave was a cinch.  How hard could it be when #3 is with me full-time?  The next 16 weeks are going to be a complete cruise.... 

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Welcome to The Paddington Dad

Welcome to The Paddington Dad.   

The name of my blog isn’t clever, artistic or particularly inspired...I am just a Dad...and I live in Paddington.  

This blog will share my trials, tribulations and learnings of parenting, relationships, love, life and whatever else comes to mind.

I recently kicked off an extended stint (four months!) of paid paternity leave.  I have a senior executive level role in the global company I work for and have always worked pretty crazy hours.  

For years, I have juggled striving to be The #1 Dad while also trying to be awesome at my relatively demanding and stressful job.  When parents spin you that line, it usually means they are either kidding themselves on how great they are at parenting and/or their job OR they are getting fuck all sleep.  I fit into the latter...I hope.  

When my lovely wife (who also has a senior executive role, which is actually now more senior than mine, but don’t let her know I told you that!) first suggested I take paid paternity leave with #3, I was quite reticent to the idea.  

What would the other senior executives think about me taking extended leave?!  I am the most involved and present Dad that I know (sorry gents if you are reading this), how on Earth could I be more involved and present?!   If I took leave, surely I’d return to a disaster zone at work as no-one could possibly do my role like me!!  These were all genuine thoughts and concerns.  

The clock was counting down to the final date by which I could notify work that I’d like to take pat leave.  With each tick and tock, my dearest darling daughter (i.e. #3) became increasing more engaging, exciting and fun to be around.  

I recall the day I decided to take the pat leave plunge.  It was a Wednesday (just jokes, I have no bloody idea what day of the week it was) and I was up very early with #3.  We were downstairs and she was furniture surfing around the living room.  She crawled over to one of the powerpoints and started flicking the switches on and off (don’t stress, we do have those socket protector thingys that semi-responsible parents usually have).  This was a new thing.  I kindly asked her not to.  She turned around, looked at me, smiled ear to ear, giggled uncontrollably, and then repeated her little act.  What a little comedian!  What a little shit!  I love her!  She is a mini me after all!  Pressing buttons (emotional) and flicking switches (not a metaphor) at the grand old age of 9 months!  Right then and there that I decided to press the button and take paternity leave.  

And what a wonderful and exciting journey it is proving to be.  Being a full-time parent has significant ups and downs, but I am loving it.  My stressful multinational role might actually be easier than being a full-time parent though!  I have a new level of respect for stay-at-home Mums!  Something which I’ll have to one day tell my own Mum, who stayed at home full-time while my old man worked on his career full-time.  More on all of this another time.

This blog will share some of my experiences, thoughts, learnings and general observations along the way.  I hope you enjoy it. 

Cheers

The Paddington Dad