#loml is back and she was in love with a woman but they forced her to hook up with a guy in flip flops ...... SIGH

[dcminions]

🛼  ⏤  𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐄 𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐏𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐎𝐒   in   WINGWOMEN    (  2023  )  .

IN   THE   SOURCE   ,   you   will   find   six   hundred   &   sixteen   gifs   (  616  )   please   don’t  claim   these   gifs   as   your   own  bc  i  made  them  <3   .   like   &   reblog   if   you   plan   on   using   them  or   just   enjoy   them   ! 

tw  :   violence , kissing , body image , weaponry , flashing .

[facefullofsadness]

we both have two sides that no one knows

nightlclub birthday party!au

rich girl enemy!aeri x rich girl enemy!reader

prompt - why would you show up to aeri uchinaga's party if you hate her so much? she wonders the same as she sees you, but maybe it'll be more fun than either of you thought

content - smut (heated messy desperate hate sex, quickie, intoxicated sex, kinda exhibitionism, cunnilingus), alcohol consumption, written in the second person, fluff at the end if you squint

wc - 2740

a/n - omggg happy birthday my gigi!!! my loml, my only one, my pookie, my one true lover, my baddie from japan, my emo hot girl, my aeri uchinaga!!! god I love this woman and I wish her all the love and support and everything in between and beyond on this lovely october 30th <333 (it's the 31st...) (kinda rushed and bad but you'll let it go right? SHHH DON'T BOO ME AT LEAST IM BACK-)

you fucking hated aeri uchinaga's guts.

oh my god, this girl is the embodiment of nuisance, a rich bitch with daddy's money that stomps on people because of their status. she's such a brat and you absolutely loathe her, but so does she. she views you in the exact same way, just an asshole with her parents' money who doesn't give a fuck about anyone or anything. ironic isn't it? hating the carbon copy of yourself? maybe you both did hate yourselves, making it easy to hate one another. not that either of you would admit that, it must be because your parents' and hers' are rivals, which meant that applied to you both as well.

so you're both left to ponder why you decided to show up to her birthday party tonight, meeting eyes with aeri across the dimly lit and loud nightclub full of people. you both scoff almost at the same time at the sight of one another, the birthday girl rolling her eyes as soon as she sees you and you grimace in response. the faint smirk tugs at her lips the more she realizes that you're here. y/n l/n arriving at aeri uchinaga's birthday party? the two girls loathe one another, so why is this happening?

yunjin was at fault, saying you needed to get your mind off of things and party tonight. you interrogated her and scowled at the girl, wondering if she had any ulterior motive. you didn't realize the party tonight she'd be forcing you to go to was your nemesis' birthday celebration, cursing loudly at the dark-haired girl giggling at you. she didn't give a fuck, she responded with a nonchalant shrug and blew a kiss towards you as she pulled up to the valet.

you storm off towards the bar as the crowd all watches the iron gaze the pink-haired girl has on you. you down a few shots enough to feel your head buzz before you scoff to yourself. just because this is aeri's party doesn't mean you have to go down without a fight. after all, you are still better than her, she's nothing more than an annoying attention seeker. you can handle a little fire if that's what she decides to ignite.

"what the fuck do you think you're doing at my party?" the venom-laced voice snarks from behind you.

you down another drink, wiping your mouth before looking at her with an expression that annoys aeri to her core, "having fun, of course. why, do I bother you?"

she bites her lip and crosses her arms, the faux fur coat rustling on her shoulders as her chest pushes up against your face, "no, I couldn't give less of a fuck if you were here or not. I just think it's amusing that you were audacious enough to come. parents' money not enough to entertain you?"

"you say as if daddy didn't arrange a birthday party for you at the most popular club in the city," you snark back, leaning against the counter and getting up in her space, "clearly I'm not the one that needs entertaining."

she huffs in your face and twirls her pink locks in her fingers, "hm, consider me entertained then. you showed up to my party, how cute, no?"

aeri struts away but not before flashing a cocky smirk, flinging her sakura colored hair towards you. you trail her heatedly, "oh please, you've been bored all night till I showed up."

"heh, you're right," she admits, calling over her bare shoulder to you, "you've made things a lot more interesting."

the sea of people part before you two as you both traverse through the crowd, "now since you're here, why don't you play my games? it's only right to participate since you're my guest."

she turns and pushes you back against the couch you find yourself now sitting in a secluded room filled with her posse of spoiled brats all lined up in a circle resting against the large, round couch lining the private room. her friends snicker as soon as they realize it's you, some of their faces familiar, some of them new. you scowl as soon as you spot yunjin with her arm draped over some girl, realizing it's aeri's friend minjeong. she mimics a yawning gesture and waves her fingers at you in acknowledgement.

aeri places her hands on her hips and sighs, "let's play a classic, shall we?" she smirks as she picks up an empty soju bottle from the table, playing with it before placing it in the center and eyeing you.

you scoff, "spin the bottle? really? how old are you?" the room boos in response to your comment.

"why? scared? nervous y/n?" aeri mocks, her eyebrow cocked as her tongue trails across her lip curiously.

you feel a smirk tug at your lip, "no, not nearly as much as you are uchinaga."

you call her bluff as a pink the same shade of her hair spreads to her cheeks. whether it was the alcohol or embarrassment, it was too late, you already saw through her.

she clears her throat and acts as if her cheeks don't continue to heat up, lowering her large shades over her face and resting them on the tip of her nose, "oh whatever, we'll save the main event for last. jimin?"

she turns to the long haired girl on her side, letting her spin the bottle first. the tall girl reaches forward and spins it, the dim burgundy lighting bouncing off of the glass as it swiftly turns. the empty bottle slows and its tip points towards the other cute girl in the room sporting a bob. you recognize kim chaewon as she stands and licks her lips, jimin chuckling and reaching out towards her, dragging her by the hand to the small closet-like room next door. the room is filled with amused noises as you see yunjin and minjeong's expressions turn (which was the most amusing thing you saw).

you turn away from the love quarrel to face aeri's piercing stare, adjusting the glasses away from her face again and fixing her hair, her eyes staying on you. you accept her challenge, leaning back against the couch and tilting your head to the side, looking right at her with the same intensity. you watch as her finger traces her bottom lip, tugging at it with her nail and her eyes gradually trailing down your body, feasting on you.

you gulp at her stare filled with hunger, playing with the hem of your dark skintight dress between your fingers, rolling it up your crossed legs, letting more of your skin expose itself to her. your stick your tongue between your teeth as you pour yourself a shot and down it, the alcohol leaving a wet sheen on your lips that glimmered in the darkness. she observes your every movement, her eyes never leaving you for a moment.

you lick the alcohol off your lips slowly, your eyes taking the opportunity to wander her tempting figure, tracing every curve accentuated by her dress, your body heating up as you take in every inch of skin exposed to your sight. as your gaze trails her chest and prominent cleavage, falling around her plush thighs, she commands your attention back towards her as she taps on her knee and lifts her finger up.

a waiter stands next to you with drinks on his tray which you take and down, staring into aeri's eyes as she does the same. you feel the alcohol burn down your throat, rolling down until it sloshes with the concoction in your stomach. the buzz heats up your cheeks as jimin and chaewon return to the room, hair disheveled and lipstick smeared, no shame in their appearances.

the room's volume increases in cheers and noise as the smirks on the girls' faces fail to die down. chaewon, as the girl who was picked, has to pick the next person to spin the bottle. she picks up the empty glass, plays with it in her small hands and surveys the room with familiar faces and strangers. her eyes scan before landing on you, grin pulling at her cute face.

she trudges towards you and drops the bottle in your lap with a wink. she drags her feet away as the people cheer your turn, adjusting yourself and standing, dipping over the table in front of aeri, cleavage on full display for the girl gawking at you all night. you lean down and spin it, eyes locked onto the pink haired girl. the anticipation for the other end is high as everyone stares expectantly, the glass' hollow noises echoing through the ears of the players in the room, you and aeri never looking away from one another.

gasps fill the room as the bottle slows and comes to a stop, the tip aiming towards your one and only rival who's eyes are still trained on you. neither of you need to look down to know what happened, the uproar from the crowd of people surrounding you enough to understand. aeri stands and finally turns away, swaying towards the secluded room, and you follow immediately, the room an absolute mess of noise.

you follow aeri into the dark, small, closet-like room, the door shutting behind you both as you feel the pumping from the blasting music of the club behind the other side, the light leaking through enough to illuminate the older girl's features and figure. your bodies are close to each other, the heat emanating from one another as you can hear each other's breathing pick up.

"so much for main event for last huh-" you start to tease her.

"jesus, I wish you'd shut the fuck up already," she interrupts annoyedly before grabbing the back of your neck and smashing her lips against yours', pushing her body against yours' and pinning you to the wall behind you.

immediately, your body responds to her burning touch, kissing her back with the same ferocity, arms clinging around her and gripping her body. your hands drag over her curves, clutching at her dress to grab her flesh under it, digging your nails into her. she hisses into your mouth, breathing heavily against you as her soft lips bruise your needy ones.

you throw off her coat as she pulls your her mouth away to suck on your neck and chest, aeri's hot tongue trailing your exposed skin, her desperate lips leaving wet kisses as you thread your fingers through her luscious locks and pant against her. her strong arms have you pinned against the wall, clinging onto her body as she greedily ravishes your burning skin, causing you to moan out into the small but silent room, your noises filling only her ears to hear.

you feel the cocky girl smile against your skin as she continues to digs her face into you neck, sucking your skin and sinking her teeth into you, making you whimper and squeeze your eyes shut. you grab her biceps and pull her into you, forcing you to flip her against the wall as your eyes fall to her wet red lips, face flushed and eyes filled with pure lust, the desire to indulge in you building in her body. the sight ignites your primal need for the same thing.

you shove your tongue into her mouth and taste her, the combination of various alcohol and sweet lipstick filling your senses, becoming addicted to the taste of aeri uchinaga. your hands grip her thighs as you dig your fingers into her skin, trailing your hands up and under her dress, pushing the material up to her hips. her breath hitches in her throat as your fingertips trace her slit through the lingerie she wears.

you pull away from the heated kiss as a string of saliva connects the two of you, attaching your mouth to her neck. her chest rises and falls as you greedily lick her skin, the spit rolling down through her cleavage. you descend to your knees and leave wet kisses along her thick thighs, hands holding each one, gripping her as they wander around to her ass, sliding under the dress and pulling her panties down.

a sticky string of pleasure stretches as you drag her clothing down her thighs, her legs spreading in anticipation for your next movement. as badly as you want to tease her for being so ruined for you, you need her just as bad, looking up at her and staring into her desperate eyes, wild and dark with desire. continuing to gaze into aeri's needy eyes, you bring your mouth forward and swipe your tongue along her slit, sticking it in her hole and trailing it tortuously against her clit, her delicious wetness coating your tastebuds.

you watch as her eyes roll back and her body slumps against the wall, her head thrown backwards and a pleasured groan escapes her throat, her hand resting atop your head and lacing her fingers through your already messy hair. you lick once again, swirling the tip of your tongue around her pink and hot bud, making her thighs tremble on either side of your head, holding her legs apart and hooking your arms around them.

her hips buck into your mouth as you wrap your lips around her clit and suck, flicking your hot tongue across her pulsing nerves. profanities flow pathetically from your rival's mouth as you continue indulging in her, fluttering your eyes shut as you makeout with her clit. the grip on your hair tightens as her hand digs deeper through your locks, your hands caressing up and down her long legs. she grinds her hips into your mouth as your tongue slips into her leaking cunt, nose brushing her clit now, flicking your wet muscle against her aching walls.

the sound of her desperate and loud moaning resonates within the small room, her whimpers fill your ears and will you to keep going, the intent of stopping failing to comprehend in your intoxicated head, focused on eating the girl shaking in your hold out. you bury your face deep into her pussy, her cunt walls wrapping and sucking your tongue in, rolling the muscle into her and flicking it against the delicious most pleasurable spots inside, rubbing your nose against her throbbing clit. you bring your hand around to use your fingers and roll the pulsing bud in your fingertips, aeri whimpering above you, gathering her pleasure and your saliva to lubricate the aching clit.

you hum against her cunt, the sound reverberating through her body as her moaning becomes pleasurably loud, jutting her hips into your mouth full of her wetness. you moan into her pussy, the vibration throwing her over the edge, screaming your name out as she cums into your expectant mouth. you feel a rush of her juice flow into your mouth, the taste covering your tongue as you drink down every single drop. your tongue licks her cunt up, cleaning every inch of her pussy to devour her slick fully. you leave kisses along her shaking thighs, holding her up and letting her body relax against the wall behind her.

your core pounds against your dress as you stand shakily, your hands resting under her ass to support her. you kiss your way up her body, on top of her dress, not caring if she can't feel your warm lips, just wanting to make sure she knows you're here and can feel and hear you right in front of her. you observe her flushed face, eyes closed, head resting against the wall, pink hair disheveled beautifully, her chest rising and falling, a glistening sheen of perspiration on her skin across her neck, a goddess you call your rival at your mercy in your hands.

you trail your lips across her sweaty skin, kissing her shoulder and inching towards her neck.

"happy birthday, princess," you whisper in her ear as she giggles cutely, turning your face and pressing her forehead to yours.

"let's get out of here," aeri pants against your cum covered lips.

you kiss her in response, "okay, you still owe me an orgasm."

she bites your bottom lip, "it's my birthday."

"wouldn't it be a good present?" you challenge.

she huffs and agrees, "every part of y/n l/n in my hands would be my perfect present."

a/n: this was supposed to be more intricate and better structured but erm well! this is what you get! also this was originally a short but this is too long for a short and kinda long for a regular fic so... idk wtv!

[risingode]

loml (loss of my life)

summary: in which ellie's only ever cried in front of you three times. yet the fourth is the most devastating of them all.

pairing: ellie williams x y/n

genre: angst

wc: 962

please comment or message letting me know your thoughts! it helps motivate me :)

once again inspired by taylor swfit :)

a/n: hello everyone! it has been quite a while since i have uploaded on here. i've had a lot of changes in my life since the last time i posted a writing of mine, primarily, i am now in my third (!!!) year of university. crazy to even think about tbh. anyways, i know i primarily write about jungkook from bts, but recently i was gifted a ps5 by my brother in law and the first game i bought was tlou part 2 remastered because i never quite got over the game, or more specifically, ellie williams lmaooooo. anyways pls enjoy this short little drabble, i am excited to get back into writing! and yes, i will keep writing for jungkook as well, i'm just mixing it up a bit!

Ellie Williams was an enigma to the world, and right now, her mystery is unfurling in the cruelest of ways. The room before you is a tapestry of shattered dreams, clothes scattered like discarded promises, each garment a silent witness to the betrayal unfolding before your eyes.

Your heart, once so full of trust and love, feels like it's disintegrating. A heart-shaped void appears on the floor beneath you, a grotesque reflection of the pain ripping through your chest. There, in the dim light, your fiancée lies entwined with another woman, their bodies a stark betrayal of the vows once promised to you.

It's almost absurd, the way a love that once made you feel invincible can crumble so easily, as if it was all a cruel joke. The sight is so surreal that you question its reality, your mind unable to reconcile the image before you with the life you thought you shared. Your feet are rooted to the ground, as if some invisible force has tethered you to this unbearable truth.

The diamond ring on your finger, once a symbol of unending love, now feels like a shackle, its weight a painful reminder of the promises that were so carelessly broken. You stand there, numb and hollow, the ache in your chest growing more insistent with every breath. 

Her voice is a faint murmur, drowned out by the protective haze your mind has wrapped around you, shielding you from the full weight of her betrayal. The woman who promised to stand by you for the rest of your life is now an almost surreal presence, a distant echo as the reality of the situation sinks in.

They scramble to untangle themselves from the bed—your bed. Clothes are hastily pulled on, and you feel a wave of nausea rise up, the bile surging before you can even hope to stop it. The force of the moment propels you into action, and you sprint through the house, your heart pounding with the realization that every corner holds a painful reminder of the life you built together.

The couch you assembled in your first apartment, the dishes you chose together, each one a piece of your shared dream, perfectly matching the white and royal blue of your kitchen. The kitchen where you cooked meals side by side, dancing to songs from artists you discovered together, 

“This one’s the song I want to walk down the aisle to,” you’d said, stirring the pasta as you both cooked together.

Ellie looked up from where she stood, buttering garlic bread. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you replied, smiling as you watched her. “Do you like it?”

Her eyes twinkled with that familiar warmth as she walked over to you, wrapping her arms around your waist. “I don’t care what song you walk down the aisle to,” her tender voice whispers into your ear, “as long as the person standing at the end of it is me.” 

The air is cold against your hot skin, a reminder of how real everything you just experienced was. You couldn’t seem to care, though, almost prying open the door to your poorly parked car. The silence of it deafening as you give yourself time to catch your breath, finally it was quiet. Still, the sounds of their shared moans and whimpers echoes in your mind. The silence doesn’t last long, a loud thump breaks you out of your dissociated trance. Your neck snaps towards your driver’s side window, Ellie’s tearful face is the sight you’re met with. You think back to all the times you’ve seen her cry before. You conclude it’s three. 

The first time was when she was drunk, confessing her feelings, afraid you didn’t feel the same. You had held her close, whispering reassurances. 

“Oh, Ellie, you’re silly to think I don’t like you too.”

The second was when you were rushed to the hospital after a fall at work. The memory is a blur of bright lights and pain, but Ellie’s tear-streaked face as she clung to you is vivid. 

“You scared me so bad, baby,” she had sobbed into your shoulder.

You had tried to lighten the moment, chuckling despite your discomfort. “I just have a mild concussion. The only thing I’m worried about is how I’m going to step back into that office without a bag over my head. I’m so embarrassed.” 

She pulls away to look at your pouting face, noticing a light purple bruise decorating your pretty eye. She frowns, leaning in to leave a kiss on it. “Shut up, you’re never leaving my side again.”

The third and only time you cried alongside her was the day she proposed, her hand shaking in your grasp as she got down on one knee. 

“You’re the love of my life, Y/N. I don’t care how many years pass, or how many hurdles we come across, I will always be there for you. I can’t imagine loving anyone as much as I love you, baby.” 

You’re choking on your tears, your hand feels almost numb at the tightening of her grip. You reach your empty hand up to your chest, willing your beating heart to still. 

“Will you marry me?” 

Now, in the cold car, you’re confronting the fourth time, a cruel twist of fate that you never anticipated would be this moment. You thought the tears would come on your wedding day, as you exchanged vows to love and cherish each other, for better or for worse. The irony makes you laugh, a broken, hollow sound, as you shift the car into reverse.

Ignoring the pleading sobs muffled by the glass, you drive away, each mile feeling like a mile further from the life you once knew and the promises that were so easily shattered.

[leclercvsx]

Show off | SMAU

LANDO NORRIS

pairings: Lando x footballer!reader

summary: Lando is dating reader, who’s a football player for arsenal WFC & Lioness’ and Lando isn’t shy when it comes to reminding people that he is readers boyfriend.

warnings: storylines do not add up, i’m pretty much making them up on the spot!

face claim: Alessia Russo (loml)

note: I KNOW IM LATE BUT OH MY GOD I CANNOT BELIEVE LANDO WON HIS FIRST RACE!!!I WAS SCREAMING WHEN HE CROSSED THAT LINE😭

masterlist | requests open

yourusername

liked by landonorris, ellatoone, lionesses and 52,726 others

yourusername: Evenings at Wembley✨Only onwards and upwards from here🦁💕

landonorris: my girlfriend everyone, look at her go😁😁

leahwilliamson: i don’t know what she’s told you, but she’s MY girlfriend😐

ellatoone: i think you’ve both been mistaken, she’s actually my girlfriend

landonorris: i will fight both of you (virtually because i would never hit a woman🙏🏼)

yourusername: calm down girls, there’s plenty of me to go around😛

lionesses: 🦁❤️

carlossainz: Great game Y/n! Lando made sure all of us watched it

yourusername: thank you, Carlos! i’m sorry Lando put you through that😔

danielricciardo: don’t be sorry, Y/n. We loved watching you play🙏🏼

liked by yourusername

fan1: Lando forcing the grid to watch the Lioness’s games sounds so funny to me😭😭

——

landonorris

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55 and 1,263,372 others

landonorris: Celebrating my first win AND celebrating my girlfriend winning her match🙏🏼🧡

tagged: yourusername, mclaren

yourusername: IM SO PROUD OF YOU

yourusername: You deserve this!!!

yourusername: it’s also very sweet that you included my win, BUT THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOU🧡🧡

landonorris: your wins are my wins and my wins are your wins❤️

oscarpiastri: that was cringe

leahwilliamson: i agree with pastry

oscarpiastri: thanks but that is NOT my name

yourusername: it is now x

carlossainz55: congrats, you deserve it💪

liked by landonorris

mclaren: here’s to many more🧡

——

yourusername

liked by landonorris, leahwilliamson and 52,827 others

yourusername: enjoyed the off-season with this muppet, time to get back to training💪

tagged: landonorris

landonorris: i miss you

yourusername: it’s been less than 24 hours since we last saw eachother

landonorris: i miss you

leahwilliamson: im gonna enjoy seeing you everyday and rubbing it in Lando’s face😅

landonorris: i hate you

leahwilliamson: your girlfriends about to become mine

landonorris: back🤺off🤺

yourusername: Leah, be nice👀

francisca.cgomes: gonna miss seeing you in the paddock :(

yourusername: i’m gonna miss you too😔

lilymhe: don’t worry, we’ll all be there for that world cup final😉

yourusername: hopefully we make it😅

carmenmmundt: you WILL make it, we’re manifesting it

fan1: the way the wags interact with her😭😭😭

fan2: i KNOW it’s so cute

fan3: well she is a wag too, let’s not forget

——

landonorris added to their story

yourusername replied: i love you😭😭

landonorris: i love you too❤️

fan1 replied: she’s so cute omg

lilymhe replied: she’s gonna smash the world cup

leahwilliamson replied: she went out with me before you by the way

landonorris: LEAVE ME ALONE

——

yourusername

liked by landonorris, leahwilliamson and 173,372 others

yourusername: absolutely gutted and heartbroken, but it just wasn’t meant to be. I’m so unbelievably proud and grateful to be apart of this special team. No one else i would want to be on this journey with🤍

I want to say a huge thank you to everyone that came out to support us and those of you at home who have supported us from the very start. We’ll all cherish these memories forever.

For now we’ll all rest up and recover and come back better than ever🦁🤍

alexgreenwood5: ❤️

1maryearps: ❤️❤️❤️

keirawalsh: ❤️

landonorris: you did great baby, you’ll win the next one🫶

carlossainz55: you did very well!

lilymhe: you did unbelievably well, Y/n. The next time you will win, i swear❤️

yourusername: thanks guys, sorry i disappointed you all❤️

landonorris: stop that. you didn’t disappoint anyone.

fan1: i’m sobbing

fan2: you were great, it just wasn’t meant to be :(

——

landonorris added to their story

yourusername replied: thank you for everything

landonorris: no need to thank me❤️

leahwilliamson replied: as much as i hate to admit it, i’m glad you’re taking care of her

fan1 replied: that’s so cute

danielricciardo replied: you are such a simp

landonorris: shut the fuck up

——————————

i’m so proud of Lando’s first win. i was literally SCREAMING when he won. i didn’t wanna jinx it so i kept my cool and was just focusing on the gap between him and max but when he crossed that line me and my friend screamed and clapped😭😭

[starbluekindo]

LOML (part 3)

synopsis: you and victoria are destined to meet, not to be together.

cw: victoria neuman × fem!reader, angust, traumatic past (quoted), red river (quoted), reader is a supe with necromancy, childhood love, character death, mentions of depression?, smut, nsfw…

part!1 part!2

a/n: this was longer than it should have been ;-;

english is not my first language and i don't have much experience writing, so it may contain errors.

you haven't had good experiences with your powers. being a five-year-old child and seeing all the dead people in a room and even more so talking to them, feeling them, was not a cool experience.

you spent years being haunted by the dead who seemed to haunt you every step you took, they seemed to take some kind of twisted pleasure in tormenting a child. that's what you thought for years until you discovered that most of the ghosts that haunted you just wanted the chance to tell their story, the chance to say goodbye.

and you stopped being afraid of them, after all they couldn't hurt you if you ignored them.

it wasn't an easy path to have the level of control you have today. pretending not to see the desperate child in the corner of your room begging for help or the woman in the mirror with sad eyes was painful for you and when you arrived at the red river... all those poor souls tormented you as you cried and begged them to shut up the fucking mouth.

but then you met victoria and it was like the whole world fell silent for the first time for you. she was your lighthouse, guiding you without even knowing it through the sea of ​​souls that insisted on drowning you every day. losing her was like losing yourself, but having her back gave you life.

the following months were the best you could have in your entire life.

you had victoria by your side after years of waiting. years of forced separation, finally ending in happy moments with her. you and her went to bars, restaurants, museums and every art exhibition you could find, every moment unique and special with her.

it was an understatement to say you were happy, you were radiant.

“oh come on, she’s just a teenager, baby… she’s not going to kill you” victoria said in a carefree manner as she cut some vegetables for your dinner.

“vicky, we’re talking about your daughter” you were on the verge of having a nervous breakdown. for some reason you didn’t know, meeting victoria’s daughter terrified you. “what if she hates me and decides i’m not good enough for her mother? what if I mess up? and if-”

you didn't have time to finish your self-deprecating litany, not when victoria's lips were in contact with yours again, her body pinning you against the kitchen counter. her hands held your waist, pushing you onto the cold material of the counter.

“shh… what do you say we skip dinner and I feast on you?” she bit your earlobe, her hands moving to your thighs, playing with the fabric of your shorts.

“fuck…” you sighed and leaned your forehead against hers, closing your eyes as a small smile formed on your lips “i can’t let dinner burn again, vicky”

“we can always eat out, pretty girl” her lips find the skin of your neck, kissing, biting and sucking, each action designed to draw a desperate moan from your lips. her hands move to the hem of your shirt, slowly pushing the fabric up. touching you, as if touching something fragile.

“such a beautiful girl” she whispers against your skin. fingers gripping the hem of your shirt and she pushes the fabric up, away from your body.

her tongue circles the bud of your breast before leaving a bite on the spot making you shudder, moving her lips to suck a bruise on the skin of your breast “good?” victoria's lips move to her other breast, her teeth lightly nibbling at the flesh, molding it into her mouth as she alternates between one and the other, her free hand making its way through the thin fabric of her shorts, her fingers slipping inside her panties to meet the wet heat of your sex.

the feeling of her fingers inside you, coupled with the way her mouth works on your breasts, is enough to make you squirm on the counter, your moans a sweet symphony that she is more than happy to lead.

“do you like this, love?” she purrs, her voice a seductive rasp. she removes her fingers, coated with your wetness, and brings them to her mouth, licking them clean, "so ready for me, aren't you?" you can barely speak, the sight of her being enough to make you moan again. she easily rips off her shorts in a simple and practical movement, throwing the rest of the fabric to the floor.

she pushes your panties to the side, her fingers replacing them, sliding in and out of you, her thumb rubbing your clit in a slow, sensual rhythm. her lips leave your breasts, leaving a trail of kisses down your stomach, your body trembling with each touch.

“you’re my sweet girl,” she says, her voice low and possessive, as her mouth finds your sex, her tongue parting your folds to taste you. “you always have been and you always will be”

“so fucking good” you mumble and close your eyes as you throw your head back, biting your bottom lip to keep from screaming (and getting another complaint from your property manager). one of your hands finds its way between the silky strands of victoria's hair, encouraging the brunette to go deeper and your other hand rests on the edge of the counter, squeezing tightly.

her tongue works wonders on you, taking you to heaven with each lick, her fingers filling you in the way you needed her most. you squeezed victoria's scalp, her eyes fixed on you as her moans grew louder. “please vicky” you whimper and open your eyes looking for her, pupils dilated and pleading.

victoria smiles, her eyes fixed on yours, as she takes you into her mouth, sucking and licking you with a fervor that shows she is starving for you. her fingers continue their rhythm, her pace increasing as she feels your body contracting, your moans getting louder.

she knows that look in your eyes, the way you're begging for release, and she's more than happy to oblige. her tongue flicks over your clit, her fingers pushing deep inside you, the pressure building inside you like a storm.

“come for me, pretty girl,” she orders, her voice low and commanding, “let go”

and you do. you come undone, your body shuddering, your moans turning into screams as you reach that peak. victoria sucks and licks you, milking every last drop of pleasure from you, her own body trembling with satisfaction as she witnesses your release.

she pulls away, her lips and chin wet with your essence, a smile playing on her mouth as she watches your chest rise and fall with each ragged breath.

“good girl” she runs her tongue between her lips before approaching you and engulfing you in a passionate kiss letting you taste yourself in her.

you finally had it all again

until there's nothing left

things weren't supposed to happen like this, victoria didn't plan for it to happen, but hey... no one can control everything - not even neuman.

you blamed homelander for fucking up the perfect life you were having after years of fighting, that bastard had fucked up everything.

It was already the fifth call you made to victoria that she refused and it was driving you crazy. you felt like the red river again when she left. not even the traffic was cooperating with you, leaving you unable to leave the car.

you felt scared, you felt scared as hell about everything that could happen. you hated that bitter feeling in your mouth, you hated feeling like a child again. as soon as the light changed again you finally managed to leave the place, passing all possible red lights and at the exact moment you looked at the car's rear view mirror you saw her.

the woman with the sad eyes who haunted you during your childhood.

something really bad was going to happen, you knew it, she told you that.

as soon as you entered victoria's house it was like a part of you was broken, seeing her in such an emotional state made your stomach hurt and the only thing you could do was bend down to hug her, feeling the tears of her to wet your shirt.

even the strongest of soldiers could be shot down.

“you shouldn’t be here…it’s not safe to be with me anymore” her words left you in disbelief, but no real effort was made to take you away from her.

“where else would I be but here?” ‘safely’ victoria thought and bit her tongue to respond, hiding her face in her shirt.

you waited until she was a little calmer and listened to her carefully, you saw her completely lost and with little hope - something you weren't used to seeing in the brunette.

“we can leave the country, hide somewhere safe for a while… just until things get a little better” you suggested as you stroked her scalp, keeping her in your arms to convey warmth and security to her.

“i can't do this to zoe, i can't do this to you” she murmured and closed her eyes. she had the feeling that her body was heavier than normal. “i would be putting you both in danger and i wouldn't forgive myself if something happened to you or her.”

“nothing will happen” you both knew that was a lie, deep down you both already expected the worst. lying to yourself was the best way to stay confident - and at the moment it was all you needed.

“i need you to promise me that you will take care of zoe if something really bad happens”

“vicky, nothing-”

“i need it” her voice was more serious now, her eyes were still filled with tears and she was looking at you in a way that left you no choice “please… we both know that you are the best between the two of us who can keep a promise”

"i promise”

her lips met yours in a desperate kiss, as if it were a silent goodbye between you. you reciprocated without even thinking, your hands holding her face to pull her closer, not wanting that moment to end.

“i have to go” victoria whispered as she separated her lips from yours, her forehead touching yours “i have to try to do the right thing at least one last time”

she barely lets you protest, giving you another goodbye kiss, taking longer than last time to pull away “just wait for me”

and it was with those words that you lost her again. It was as if the entire world came to a standstill when the news announced that the vice president-elect had been assassinated just hours after being revealed to the world as a super.

your pain is like a choked scream in your chest. each shared memory turns into an open wound, and absence spreads like a cold shadow, enveloping everything around it. knowing that you could, in theory, bring back your girlfriend, but at the same time being aware of the horror that would entail, is a torment that tears you apart inside.

you didn't even have access to the body.

the rage that consumes you is devastating. you not only feel the impact of the loss, but also an unrelenting rage against the world around you. everything you fought to build with victoria was brutally ripped away. your indignation against the forces that caused this separation is overwhelming, but the anger is also directed at yourself, for what she considers to be her own powerlessness. as a necromancer, the power to manipulate life and death is in your hands, but you are unable to change what matters most.

you find yourself in a months-long spiral of pain and suffering. the depression that invades you is as heavy as the darkness your power summons. at every turn, you are haunted by the vision of victoria, not as she was, but as a distorted memory that your power allows you to see, reanimating her in moments of despair. it consumes you in such a way that the line between grief and obsession begins to blur. the world loses all meaning, and you find yourself adrift, in a place where the shadows seem to constantly whisper, offering the temptation to bring victoria back, even though you know it would only be a cruel parody of what she was.

you couldn't cheat death, no matter how smart you were.

but you remember the promise you made and feel obliged to fulfill it. you finally left the house after being away from the sunlight for so long and drove to the damn place you swore you would never set foot in again, finding yourself facing your worst nightmare.

everything in that place makes you want to vomit, the same old ghosts that tormented you as a child were still there, with a smile that was almost too cruel for you. the sound of your heels hitting the wooden floor echoed through the hallway as you followed red river's new director to the wing where the children usually stayed.

and when you saw her isolated in the corner, away from the other children, it was like going back to the past again. you forced yourself to hold back the tears when you saw zoe's resemblance to victoria and she was... perfect.

you didn't say another word to the woman next to you and walked towards the girl, bending down in front of her and getting a suspicious look from zoe.

“you’re just like her…” you whispered and placed a hand on the girl’s cheek, her eyes watering to the point where a tear escaped “i’m going to take you home”

you would keep your word, you would keep zoe safe and you would hunt even in hell the person responsible who took victoria from you two.

[mclarensangel]

Girls Night - Lando Norris x Chronic Pain! reader

warnings: chronic pain, feeling like a burden, gentle flirting between besties, McDonald's. let me know if you want me to add any warnings

What you didn't know was that Lando (and Oscar) were actually on their way back early to surprise you (and Lily of course). Lily knew the plan and was more than happy to spend some time with her best friend.

Knowing that your best friend was on her way to your flat, from hers a couple of floors down, you tried to get up off of the sofa. But a searing pain shot up your back making you yelp loudly. Letting yourself fall back onto the pillows to rest before you tried again, you felt your phone vibrate.

The texts between the two of you made you smile softly at your phone as you heard your front door unlocking. Moments later, Lily's face popped up by the door to the living room. "I'm gonna grab the quilt and pillows and then I'll be in," she told you before moving towards the storage room to grab the items. It was just mere moments before she was back in the room setting out the pieces onto the bed-like sofa. "so what shall we order for takeaway?" she asks once comfortable next to you. "what do you fancy?" you respond. Lily looks at you, wiggling her eyebrows as she responds with "you". This makes you laugh before holding onto your back as the pain returns with the movement. You turn your head to the blonde woman before responding "I wouldn't mind having you for dinner" trying to wink at her, but ultimately failing, making the pair of you giggle lightly. "McDonald's?" Lily suggested. Though you hadn't been friends for long, the two of you had become insanely close, becoming best friends in mere days when she moved to Monaco to the flat with Oscar just two floors down. You smiled at the woman, she had only seen you in a flareup once since moving here, the other flareups you had, you had hidden away from everyone except Lando as he had the short break between races. Another thing you didn't know was that Lando and Lily had been talking about you, she had been asking how to look after you best until he got back, and she had found out that you didn't eat much during a flareup. Hence the suggestion of McDonalds. "McDonald's" you agreed with the woman

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

ynusername posted to Instagram

ynusername: Congrats to my love @/landonorris for getting P2! I can't wait for you to get home so we can celebrate together <3. And a special thank you to my bestie @/ lilyzneimer for keeping me company. The last picture is me and the loml lils btw.

user1: what a terrible girlfriend you are for not even going to the race.

-> user2: exactly! I didn't want to be the first to say it but if I was Lando's gf I'd be at all the races!

-> Lilyzneimer: with your attitude Lando wouldn't even come near you, let alone date you.

-> user3: TELL THEM LILY

Lilyzneimer: I'm so proud of you, bestie. Beauty and the Beast next?

->ynusername: live action or cartoon?

-> Lilyzneimer: cartoon obviously.

-> user4: what do you even have to be proud of? Of a lazy, selfish woman who can't even go and support her boyfriend?

-> Lilyzneimer: not that she should have to tell her medical conditions (but I have her permission to say this), but I am proud of her for coping with Fibromyalgia, a chronic pain condition. She couldn't make it to this race, because of a flareup. Would you have rather she forced herself to go and make it worse? If she went but was in too much pain so she looked upset, you'd send her hate. But if she doesn't go to look after her health, you send her hate? She can't win. but her friends and family know her, we know her heart. and we love her

-> ynusername: lils! ilysm. marry me?

-> Lilyzneimer: wheres the ring?

After watching Princess and The Frog and Beauty and the Beast, you ended up putting Tangled on. Unfortunately, you had to take some stronger painkillers and these knocked you out. Lily didn't mind though, she snuggled down with her phone, messaging Oscar and Lando to see where they were.

Lily had to stifle her giggles to not wake up the sleeping woman next to her.

A couple of hours later, the two men crept into the apartment, assuming that the two women were asleep as neither had responded to any messages. Two men shared a look and a smile when they saw their girlfriends cuddled together on the sofa, asleep and content. Oscar made the first move, taking off his shoes, placing them by the front door, and leaving his bags in the spare room. opening up his bag he pulled some joggers and a t-shirt before moving to the bathroom to get changed. Lando followed his lead, placing his stuff in his wardrobe, and pulling on some quadrant shorts and a baggy t-shirt along with a hoodie of his that he knew you liked to steal. It took them men less than 10 minutes before they were both standing at the living room door again. They smiled briefly at each other before moving to settle in next to their girlfriends. Champagne and shots could wait, this was the best celebration.

[unconventional-lawnchair]

Random fic ideas

These are just random xreader ideas that I haven't started yet. If this interests anyone you can use the prompts/stories or just voice your opinions about them! Really just need them out of my head. (If you do use them pls tag me I'd love to read em 🥺)

Time travel scenarios:

- Lightning Era Reader goes back in time for a year, only to come back to a shattered timeline. Finding out that Barty Crouch Junior has broken everything to be with her again. (Hurtless by Dean Lewis)

-Marauders Era Muggleborn!reader goes back in time to Tom Riddles Era, where he finds out about her blood status. He tries to get a hold of this oddly powerful wix, only to find she's actively sabotaging his plans. (This isn't a Tom x reader fic, but it will center their relationship from rivals to friends, only for her to go forward in time once more and unleash a new wave of abandonment charged rage against the wizarding world) - (Hunter by Paris Paloma)

-Given the choice, Remus Lupin would go back in time and never involve himself with the Muggle!Reader he lost. Only in his plan to stray away his younger self, he meets her again. Truly to convince himself to walk away from the woman he loves all over again. (LOML by Taylor Swift)

-After James dies, the reader discovers a way to travel back in time to see him one last time, but she’s warned it can only be for one brief encounter. (You Said You'd Grow Old with Me by Michael Schultz)

Memory Loss ideas:

-Remus helps the reader Obliviate herself during the war, but before he does everyone gets together at the Maurader's one last time. They reminisce on their old memories and share their favorite times with the reader. Remus and the reader reminisce on what could and should have been between them; none of them noticing how much this all seems to be affecting James- who has been in love with the reader for years.

Normal scenarios :

- Poly!Wolfstar x Reader fic, after the events of Halloween 1981 Sirius is jailed- Remus and the reader have a falling out that results in him leaving. 12 years later they are forced to reunite for Harry. (Clean - Taylor Swift)

- James Potter will stop at nothing to stop Fred Weasley from coming around his daughter. The only reason he can give; 'he reminds me of myself.' (Magic! By rude)

- Barty x Tattoo Artist!Reader who can't stay out of his lap (I wanna be your Slave by måneskin)

-Slytherin wins the Quidditch cup for once, but what everyone is really paying attention to is how Regulus Black of all people, ran to Potter!Reader before anyone else. (Alchemy by Taylor swift)

-During the peak of the wizarding war, the reader is a Muggle who inadvertently befriends Remus and the others- learns about the magical world. She becomes one of Remus's closest confidants and helps him through some of his darkest moments. But after the Potters are killed and Sirius is imprisoned, Remus obliviates her to keep her safe from everything he had told her. This leads to complications, where she believes she is having flashes of a 'past life,' when the spell begins to fade. (All Too Well by Taylor Swift)

-During the First Wizarding War, the reader and James are are separated as he’s rises the ranks of the order, getting more missions and having to keep more and more secrets from her. To cope with her fear, the reader writes him letters every night, pouring out her love and worries letters she never intends for him to read. (What a time by Julia Michaels)

-Loving James Potter was knowing he'd give you up to save the world. Loving Barty Crouch Jr. was knowing he'd end the world rather then lose you.

-Fred Weasley fic about a Slytherin reader who never entertained Fred's advances. After the war, George sends her a post with one of Fred's old ideas books. Fred kept filled with jokes, pranks, and ideas for future products he never got the chance to share. Each page is filled with his personality, and she can almost hear him laughing with her. The book signed "for her, always."

-Sirius and the reader have always clashed, unable to see eye-to-eye on anything. But when he accidentally ruins her notebook in a prank gone wrong, she storms out feeling humiliated and hurt. Sirius, surprisingly, follows her to apologize.

-James and the reader are fierce rivals in the dueling club, always challenging each other to duels that usually end in both bruised egos and bruised bodies. But one night, after a particularly intense duel, James notices the reader is hurt and insists on helping her. (Much to no one but the reader's surprise)

-As captains of rival Quidditch teams, James and the reader have always been fiercely competitive, constantly taunting each other and getting into shouting matches on the pitch. When she beats him in a close match, he becomes noticeably sour and can’t hide his jealousy when other players congratulate her. "Why do you like everyone but me?"

- Sirius doesn't know what he hates more, your attitude or you going to the winter formal with Evan Rosier and not him.

- James Potter has always been a thorn in your side, with his constant flirting and his annoying cocky attitude. But when he starts to flirt and playfully banter with Lily Potter you can't stand it, but James just loves your reaction

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

I'm literally about to sleep but Kate and the 141 being a sense8 cluster is this anything

THE WAY MY EYES WIDENED HOLY SHIT

(Gonna ignore age differences. Maybe they all technically died and "breathed their first breath together" upon resuscitation I love shit like that anyway)

They would be in a cluster for the LONGEST time and not realize it. The guys would BE in the task force together and NOT REALIZE IT. But also. I love the angst. And I kinda want Kate to visit with Simon as he's buried alive. Because how fucking horrifying????? And his fear/panic is so great that it yanks her consciousness to him. Maybe this is before they are born as a cluster? But the trauma is so great that Simon's brain is reaching and reaching and reaching for the connections that should be there!!! And Kate is the closest geographically.

nooo no this is really interesting. i think the trauma could trigger the birth of the cluster, OR, Kate and Simon are kind of like...preemies? They can sort of sense each other but their sensate biology isn't fully developed so it's a very incomplete form of visiting/sharing (it would be interesting if trauma is why their cluster is all different ages? like they were all supposed to be in DIFFERENT clusters. Simon and Kate would have had the same cluster "parent" and the rest of the 141 would have been in separate clusters but trauma+proximity made those connections form with each other? Near death experiences? I'm thinking about when Gaz falls out of the helicopter. The sensate part of his brain is like FUCK I NEED CONNECTION and Simon's sensate brain is all untethered and goes oh HELL yes, FINALLY, cluster here we come! (sensate scientists are fucking feral over this cluster and the IMPLICATIONS )

BUT ANYWAY

simon is just like "sometimes I hallucinate a woman, it's a trauma response"

Gaz: huh weird me too sometimes. First I was freaked out, you know? But then I got used to her

Soap, joking: she's not American, is she?

Gaz, Ghost, and Price turn as one to look at him.

Price: what

So THEN they all think they are having a shared hallucination. Is that something that can be spread? Ghost seems like patient zero but he never said anything about her til now???

Naturally Kate chooses this moment to bebop in. "So I'm a shared hallucination? I don't feel like a hallucination." "How would you know?" Soap points out. "You've got me there. Counterpoint: Why would you create a hallucination that is American?" The four men lean back. Which. Well. "I mean, me hallucinating four hot British guys? Believable. Four hot British guys hallucinating me? Not so much." "You think I'm hot?" Soap says. They ignore him. "You're saying we are the hallucinations," Ghost says flatly. "Or, get this," she says. "None of us are hallucinations." Gaz makes a disbelieving hum. "Okay fine. Easy test." She sticks out her hand, palm up, wiggling her fingers. "Someone give me a phone." After some hesitation, Price pulls his out and slaps it into her hand-her oddly solid hand. She taps the screen for a few seconds before handing it back. "Okay, call me." "What?" "I put my number in. Call me," she repeats then disappears. "Cap, "Gaz says when he finds his voice. "Did that hallucination just put a number in your phone?" "Oh, thank Christ," Soap interjects. "I'm not the only one who saw her." Price looks down at the phone in his hand before answering Gaz. "Appears so." "You gonna do it?" Soap bounces of the sofa. "'Spose it could be a detonator. You call it, something explodes." (Kate, appearing on the sofa next to Soap: oh, PLOT TWIST! I didn't do that, though. Don't know how to. Do you know how to do that? Soap: yes!!! Kate: omg can you teach me? Soap: YES :DDDD loml i will teach you how to make SO many things explode) Ghost kicks him. Gaz tugs the device out of Price's hand. "Video call," he says decisively. Price hits call. It rings. It rings It-- A man's face fills the screen. He's familiar. He is not, however, hallucination woman. "Clinty-boo, can you tell me what you see on my phone?" "What?" "Just tell me what you see.' "Three very confused dudes and someone in a mask, who could be confused and a dude, I just can't tell for sure." "Cool, thanks!" The familiar voice chirps before a familiar face fills the screen. "See?" she says, proud. "None of us are hallucinations. Yay!"

Ok for some reason I see Kate in Egypt doing something slightly sketchy to get info on Rama tut with Marc Spector and Layla El Faouly and she is like "can you see those creepy British guys?" (They cannot) Kate says something about how they are glaring at her and saying they're a 4 hour flight from her, she better not be doing anything illegal, yada yada, they keep following her around or vice versa??? And Marc, apropos of nothing, says, "Yeah, they're your cluster."

"Of what???"

"Fellow sensates. You're sensates."

WhAT

(idk i just liked the idea of Marc being like oh yeah nbd. and kate is like no no i think it's a VERY bd. also Marc knows Ghost.)

when kate visits them she koalas on to one of them. they're so used to it that when they meet in person Soap just carries her around because she's not supposed to walk!!!!

when they visit her Gaz is the one constantly touching her, always has an arm around her. always shows up when she starts to get irritated at her PI work

Her sleep schedule is super fucked because Ghost (NEVER asks her to) sleeps better if she is visiting him. since she has a more flexible schedule (aka is not in the military) she'll stay up late and take naps at random times during the day so Ghost can get some sleepy snuggles companionship to help him drift off

price will visit when she's strategizing to offer helpful advice. gives her scalp massages when the young avengers are on her last damn nerve.

ok i've been sitting on this for a while so i'm gonna stop here!! i love this idea

[railingsofsorrow]

loml and jemily would go so well 😩

loss of my life

[emily prentiss x jennifer jareau]

[SONG INSPIRATION » loml by taylor swift]

summary: emily wanted to bury herself alive. I didn't know I had her until I lost her. it all became painfully too real.

pairings: j. jareau x e. prentiss; j. jareau x w. lamontagne jr.

w.c: 2K

warnings/content: heartBREAK; hard angst like... prepare tissues-kind-of-angst; unrequited love (it's heavily implied); CM related violence; descriptions of blood and wounds; the whole thing discusses Loss; lauren reynolds (mentioned); allusions to death; this is inspired by LOML so keep that in mind ig?; no happy ending.

A/N: I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ok I've layed out my heart for this one shot, I hope you like it and SORRY for how long it took. I've recently moved in to a new place and my life is hectic but somehow I found motivation to finish this? yeah idk, it's something. sorry again

[part of “the taylor swift anthology”]

navi

masterpost

criminal minds masterlist

[requested]

━━━━━━━━━━━━━

❝ who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames.❞

━━━━━━━

I didn't know I had her until I lost her.

When Emily saw Jennifer for the first time, the woman was still the BAU's media liaison. She would have thought she was the youngest agent on the team if Spencer hadn't been introduced as such.

She found her mesmerising.

JJ walked up to do press conferences as if she was about to order a coffee. Emily thought she was amazing and she wanted to learn everything about her and with her.

It wasn't love at first sight. No. Emily would never admit that. It's bullshit. What she can admit, however, is that she fell for her when she heard her voice.

“You must be the new agent.” JJ greeted her, outstretching a hand that Emily took too long to accept because she was too busy staring at her. Soft fingers. Perfect nails. No rings. “Welcome to the team.”

Emily must have thanked her at some point. She can't remember. The only thing he has engraved into her mind was JJ's lips turned upwards in a warm smile, showing her teeth. The smile was for Emily and she thought of numerous ways she could have one of those everyday for as long as she worked at the BAU.

━━━━━━━━━

❝ I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed

I felt aglow like this

never before and never since.❞

━━━━━━━━━

I miss her even though she's a step away from me.

Emily Prentiss.

Daughter of Embassador Prentiss. Waitress for three months until she gave up because she sucked. Interpol spy. FBI Agent. A corpse.

She was many things in her lifetime. Emily conquered most of things she wanted, one of those was to get into the FBI. She did it. From a very early age she knew she wanted to change lives, but she didn't know she could do it in both good and bad ways.

Emily tried. Most of all, she tried. And she lost so much. Her friends, her family, herself.

She was forced to lose who she was but one thing that was always constant and that helped her not spiral out of control: Jennifer Jareau.

And here's the thing. Emily never lost JJ. She was always there on her corner, never straying too far. What changed then? Well.

JJ did.

She met someone.

Emily felt her world crash down and send her to an exhibition of all of the regrets she committed in this lifetime. Not telling JJ how she felt was the first and the biggest one. It stung and it hurt and it scarred her entire body to the point where she wanted to throw up and rip her skin apart because why why would she do this why would she not tell her how she felt how could she let her GO?

She was a coward.

Interpol spy. FBI Agent. Chief of Interpol's London office. Yet— she was a coward. Emily chased down serial killers for a living. Her heart stopped and she had to fake her death to protect herself and the people she loved. Yet!— she was a coward. The worst of them.

She left the woman she loved go because she thought it was better to have her at arm's length than to risk losing her by admitting her feelings.

I didn't know I had her until I lost her.

Emily never really lost Jennifer. But she never really had her either. Not in the way she wanted.

“You're overthinking.”

Emily blinked, stepping back to reality as Reid's voice echoed through her ears. They had been playing chess before Emily's little reminiscing episode. He probably cheated as she wasn't paying attention and for that, he earned a glare.

“You know,” Emily drawled out, observing the chess board before she realises he was one move from winning and anything she did would end up on her inevitable loss. “playing while somebody is distracted is the biggest act of betrayal.”

“You were distracted because you were overthinking and it's not my fault if I'm concentrated and you're not.”

She wanted to throw a chess piece at him.

Spencer offered her a knowingly look and Emily felt like his expression wasn't related to the game at all. Just as he knew when she was overthinking, she knew when he was about to meddle into her business.

There was no time to stop him though.

“Why don't you just talk to her?”

The seat was suddenly too hot and she wondered if the AC is on.

“Who?” She played dumb and she did a very poorly job at it.

Spencer agreed because he rolled his eyes, turning his neck to look at somebody — not somebody, Emily knew who he was looking at because it was the same direction she had been trying not to stare for the past one hour.

JJ fell asleep, head propped up against the window, her neck bent in a way that it would hurt when she wakes up but Emily couldn't get out of her ass to go give her her pillow even though she has been doing that since forever.

Something's different.

She's different.

They're different.

Or she tells herself it needs to be different this time.

“JJ may not say it, but she notices you have drifted away.” Something in Emily chest shakes. Despair. Agony. What do you mean she noticed it? What is there to notice?

“I haven't drifted away. We're fine.”

“She misses you.” Spencer said and then closes his mouth, not letting anything else escape for the rest of the jet ride.

She misses you.

She misses you.

━━━━━━━

❝ about a million times

who's gonna tell me the truth

when you blew in with the winds of fate

and told me I reformed you.❞

━━━━━━━

“Sit still.”

“Why are you doing the paramedics job?”

JJ let out a huff for the third time, losing her patience with the wounded woman in front of her.

Emily had her neck painted purple because of someone they didn't see being the unsub fast enough and blood gushing out of a cut in her forehead.

Not gushing out, you see. But Emily Prentiss shouldn't have anything less than nothing hurt on her face. Or anywhere else in her body. She should be fine.

She should be fine.

Jennifer felt her heart break in half and twist in the edges when she noticed Emily hadn't gotten out in time. The same situation as years back. But back then she knew Emily would be safe, it wasn't real. This time, it felt a lot real and she hated it.

Lying to everybody while knowing the truth is cruel but in a twisted, odd way, it brought her comfort. Because Emily was safe.

Tonight she had no comfort. She had a headache and her eyes were stinging.

JJ wanted to cry.

She almost lost her again. There was no faking her death for her wellbeing. There was no fake anything.

She almost lost her.

“Do you see the amount of people hurt?” JJ provided a jab to cover up the dread in her chest. She dabbed gently against the cut in her forehead, cleaning the dried blood. She's fine. She's fine. “They're going to take sometime until they get to you.”

“Of course, they're priorities.” Emily retorted, looking up at the victims scattered around the entrance of the building.

A crease between the blonde's forehead would be the first tell for Emily to know she fucked up, but she couldn't see it.

“You're a priority.”

“No, I'm not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“I'm not the vict— ow! JJ!” Emily flinched away as JJ pressed too hard on her wound, causing it to pinch her already injured skin.

JJ leaned away, throwing the gauze on top of the other materials she had used to disinfect her injury.

“I'm gonna call someone over.”

Emily didn't know why she panicked all of a sudden. She wanted her to go. She wanted to be left alone.

Right?

“JJ, no, wait—” She found herself grasping her wrist to prevent her from walking off. “What's wrong?” Was she being a hypocrite for asking that? Then so be it. She missed JJ and the last thing she wanted was to have her be mad at her for something.

Being mad at Emily right now was unreasonable and unfair. JJ was plenty aware of that though that didn't change the fire of anger cursing through her body as Emily told her that she wasn't a priority. How dare she? How DARE she?

“You're a priority!” JJ marvelled. “And you need to stop thinking of yourself as anything other than a priority. It's boderline idiotic.” A pause. She took a deep breath in, shoulders slumping. She was tired. “What you did there was stupid. It could've ended badly.”

I could've lost you.

Do I still have you?

“It didn't.” Emily said, frowning. “This is barely a scratch, Jen.”

Jen.

JJ hadn't been called that in a long time. Emily was the only one who called her that and since she kind of put JJ aside in her life... God, she missed her. But she guessed the feeling wasn't mutual.

━━━━━━━

❝it was legendary

it was momentary

it was unnecessary.❞ ━━━━━━━

Late at night, as they went back to the hotel to get some rest and catch an early flight in the next day, Emily found herself unable to relax.

Hotch was in charge of dividing the rooms and four people would have to pair up because of the budget cuts.

Stupid fucking budget cuts—

If the universe was on her favour or not, she didn't know. What she knew was that JJ and her ended up being paired up. Emily tried to see the brighter side of the situation. Despite their tension, Emily desperately wanted to apologise to JJ, or maybe just admit she was being a real bitch by avoiding her without a reason.

She had a reason.

One JJ didn't know and will never know if it depended on her.

If the universe was on her favour or not, she came to learn the answer when Will Lamontagne Jr. walked through the entrance and went straight to JJ, fussing over if she was okay or not.

JJ's widened eyes told Emily she didn't expect her boyfriend (?) to be there. And neither anyone in the team expected him either, because the way everyone eyed each other with confused gazes was explanation enough.

Emily wanted to bury herself alive.

I didn't know I had her until I lost her.

It all became painfully too real.

━━━━━━━

❝ should'veet it stay buried

oh what a valiant roar

what a bland goodbye.❞

━━━━━━━

It dawned on her as Will kissed JJ in front of the whole team, not caring about people's opinions or if the eyes on them were judging in any way, that they didn't have to worry about that

It was perfect, wasn't it? They were perfect for each other. Why would Emily even think of messing it up?

Emily never had her. Not in the way she wanted. And now she lost her. For good.

But JJ was happy. Safe and happy.

It didn't matter if Emily physically felt her heart pulling and pulling to the point it would snap. Any second now. But not here. Not in front of her team. Not in front of JJ's happiness.

She would breakdown on her own. She's been doing it all by herself for a long time anyway, so what's the difference now?

I never had her.

So I never lost her, did I?

━━━━━━━━

❝ I'll never leave

never mind

[...]

you're the loss of my life.❞

━━━━━━━━

taglist: @ssa-shaylam ; @ninkieminjaj

[midwestwaldorf]

nobody asked but here's Dair x TTPD

fortnight: the entire song. no notes

the tortured poet's department: I mean Dan is kinda a tortured poet you're in self-sabotage mode, throwing spikes down on the road but I've seen this episode and still loved the show. who else decodes you? "you're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith. this ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we're modern idiots"

my boy only breaks his favourite toys: 'cause it fit too right. puzzle pieces in the dead of night. I should've known it was a matter of time. There was a litany of reasons why we could've played for keeps this time.

fresh out the slammer: now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you. fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to My friends tried but I wouldn't hear it, watched me daily disappearing for just one glimpse of his smile. all those nights you kept me going, swirled you into all of my poems. now we're at the starting line, I did my time.

guilty as sin?: again, the entire song.

loml: Still alive, killing time at the cemetery. never quite buried. in your suit and tie, in the nick of time. you lowdown boy, you standup guy. you cinephile in black and white. all those plot twists and dynamite. Mr. Steal Your Girl, then make her cry. you said I'm the love of your life.

the black dog: I move through the world with the heartbroken. my longings stay unspoken. and I may never open up the way I did for you.

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus: If you want to break my cold, cold heart just say, "I loved you the way that you were." if you want to tear my world apart just say you've always wondered. could it be enough to just float in your orbit? can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses? cooler in theory, but not if you force it to be.

so high school: and in the blink of a crinklin' eye. I'm sinkin', our fingers entwined, cheeks pink in the twinklin' lights. no one's ever had me, not like you.

i look in people's windows: i look in people's windows, in case you're at their table. what if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time?

the prophecy: a greater woman has faith, but even statues crumble if they're made to wait. I'm so afraid I sealed my fate, no sign of soulmates

peter: and sometimes it gets me, when crossing your jet stream. we both did the best we could do underneath the same moon in different galaxies.

the bolter: when it's all roses, portrait poses, Central Park Lake in tiny rowboats. what a charming Saturday. that's when she sees the littlest leaks down in the floorboards and she just knows, she must bolt.

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

STICKING A MICROPHONE IN UR FACE RN:: DIRECTORS COMMENTARY ON THE LOML, FAMILY ROAD TRIP? SPECIFICALLY HOW THE DYNAMICS CAME TO BE AND WHATEVER ELSE YOU WISH TO SPEAK ABOUT

MY GIRLS!!! MY PERFECT GIRLS!!!! @normal-cactus1221 omg let me delve back into my neibolt gals mind palace---

(Family Road Trip Link!!)

GALS

Tbh they mostly Exist in the first place because I wanted to draw the neibolt kids as Gals and then my brain rotted into a million tiny maggots that still refuse to leave because they became the Peak of what I like to write when gender swapping (which is delving college thesis level deep into how a character would change when they were raised with the pre-existing bullshit of Being A Woman and Being A Dyke)

So, honestly?? It kind of started exclusively with Richie?? Which is insane because it’s truly so Eddies centric,,, but the whole scene in the Goodwill when Eddie realizes WHY neibolt!richie is Like That was the ENTIRE precursor to the fic 

((EX. “She was a doll, no free will, always forced to do as she’s told (too timid to disobey even when she was sentient). Her mouth was stitched shut, always seen and not heard because her trashmouth is permanently closed. She was just pretty and perfect from the neat little pink bow in her hair to the pair of shiny black buckle shoes real Richie had shoved in the back of her closet, shoe box still unopened from when she claimed she had ‘lost them’.

(But she was rotting, she was abandoned, she was everything people wanted her to be and they still left her alone to break and rot and fill with maggots, because no one cared. She was the problem).”))

like… N!Eddie is p straight forward in terms of Gross and Sick and Rude and Very Opposite Of Real Eddie While Being Similar Enough To Piss Each Other Off, which was very fun, but Neibolt!Richie makes me SO SAD!! And I HAD to explore that IMMEDIATLEY!! 

(Also, fun fact! I had a very specific and unnecessary map of their route and going through Connecticut instead of New York would take longer, so I specifically wrote in the whole part of Eddie not wanting to go into New York SO they could go to a Connecticut goodwill,,,, as I,,,, at the time,,,, worked at a Connecticut goodwill)

DYNAMICS

The dynamics of specifically Neibolt!Reddie was very fun for the sole reason of There Is Nothing On This Planet I Love More Than Feral Eddie Kaspbrak Being Aggressively Down Bad For Richie Tozier-- and it’s ALWAYS the case in ALL iterations of reddie but based on the nature of Neddie never having interacted with ANYONE but n!richie and pennywise, n!richie is ONLY person she really knows positively or cares about which is so fucked up and I’m obsessed with it.

And then, on the flip side, you have n!richie is who is EQUALLY down bad and codependent, but she’s a lot more polite about it and less blatant then neddie who is objectively very mean!! love her but neddie is MEAN!!

((Like,, for example ,,, a couple protective N!Richie moments:

'Richie is signing something, looking terribly hopeless despite how angrily her brows furrow and how pointed her hands clink together, Eddie just wishes she knew sign language.' .... '“She said that we haven’t...She also called you a bitch.”'

'“You know that’s probably why she doesn’t want to cut them right? Because the last time she did you got hurt?”'

VS

only a few, there are so many more, Protective neddie moments:

'Short girl yelps, shoulders squaring up to her ears as she shoves the tall one behind her'

'“She’s not your Richie. She doesn’t like looking like a fucking idiot.”'

'“We need to go after her!” ... “You’re just fucking leaving? You fucking ASSHOLE!”'))

So my three sort of key points for writing their vibe was:

They both care about each other DEEPLY and AGGRESSIVELY more than ANYONE ELSE and at ENTIRELY EQUAL LEVELS

Neddie shows it more outwardly aggressively and constantly vs n!richie dealing with it in a subtle sort of way that’s only blatant when it really needs to be

They’re still KIDS they’re just little GUYS

And then the dynamic between Eddie and the neibolt gals was tricky because Eddie is so fucked up at the start of chapter 2?? She’s SO repressed and also Eddie so I sort of just started with the fact that she’s unfortunately got an Aggressive soft spot of all iterations of Richie Tozier (including a fucked up sad little monster version) and would FUCKING HATE evil baby Eddie and evil baby Eddie would hate her RIGHT back and it devolved from there??

Eddie is physically incapable of Not Caring Too Hard, so what starts as general annoyance devolves rapidly into actual care for these kids (because they’re still KIDS!!! They’re traumatized KIDS!!!!) that she’s DESPERATELY trying to hide (and, because they are technically the same exact person, that’s also exactly what n!Eddie ends up doing)

And n!richie just loves her girlfriend and is generally uncomfortable but okay with this weird, bigger, cleaner version of her girlfriend and would like slightly less yelling please,,,, rip girlie,,,

OTHER RANDOM STUFF

The first scene I actually wrote was the one where the neibolt gals realize Eddie is married to a man because I still think that’s ABSURDLY funny in concept for these two girls to be the Physical Existence Of These Grown Ass Woman’s Internalized Homophobia

((“We’re the embodiment of everything you guys were terrified of when you were kids, we’re lesbians dipshit.” -- that’s it that’s the entire fic))

Also the scene at the big gnome is one of my favorites but DID almost kill me like objectively I almost passed away writing it I DID NOT know how to write it it took FAR TOO LONG

Also also I AM gonna take this opportunity to say that I am WELL AWARE that NONE OF THIS IS HOW CAR SELLING AND GETTING GAS WORKS I promise I KNOW!!! But theres simply NO OTHER WAY FOR EDDIE KASPBRAK AND TWO CHILDREN TO GET FROM MAINE TO LA REASONABLY but I do know that I doesn’t make ANY ACTUAL SENSE

Okay and here’s a fun little bonus very broke, only a couple disconnected scenes of a one shot I was trying to write a whileeeee ago about N!richie finding out about the two years she was unconscious,,, because that’s still one of THE most fucked up things I’ve ever done to two characters (both having N!Eddie be alone for that long and having n!richie NEVER FIND OUT LIKE…):

(N!Eddie POV)

Richie was never supposed to find out. She didn’t need to know about the two years that Eddie was alone and she was just a doll, it’d only upset her and Eddie tried to avoid that when possible because that’s when she would shut down and that really would have just made things worse for both parties involved.

But sometimes, especially in the Kaspbrak-Tozier household, things don’t go how they're supposed to. Actually, very, very rarely do they go as they’re supposed to.

---

2 years?

Human Eddie swallows, thickly. Thicker than she should, considering the lack of fucking slime, “Richie–” 

She snaps her head to Human Eddie so fast her neck makes a grinding noise where it connects to the bottom of her head. Ever since they cut her stitches (it’d taken weeks of building up to it and they’d needed to stop halfway through because she’d had such a bad panic attack she’d almost gone entirely unresponsive-- and after they’d had to painstaking explain that, while they had hurt her sometimes, they were entirely preformative and she literally had no vocal chords which seemed to upset their human counterparts more than it had ever upset them) she’d been more expressive, but now her face is impossibly hard to read. 

You know? Her signing had always been a little stilted, sort of like watching particularly well made stop motion, but she’s moving her hands just as choppily as she needs to after she’s dolled out and needs to reorient her mind to her body. 

“I–”

You. Know. How long.

It’s not a question. 

(N!richie POV)

Running had always come easy, in terms of fight or flight she’d always been the flier while Eddie had preferred to stand her ground, useless fists and loud, angry words that more often than not ended with one of them hurt. But she’d always wished she’d been able to do the same, maybe if she’d been stronger the two of them could have won more of the fights Eddie had lost. 

But there was the particular issue of how easily Richie shattered and how easily Pennywise could knot invisible strings around her wrists and use her against her girlfriend; sometimes she wonders if he made her quite so not-human on purpose. 

So, she got good at running. There was something reassuring about having a place to hide, knowing, trapped inside a house made up of broken floorboards and four walled rooms, that you’ve crammed yourself in the furthest corner, you’ve done everything you can to get away and now it's out of your hands. It’s nothing substantial, not when, more often than not, she’d wake up still tilted around her knees inside a kitchen cabinet or with Eddie kneeling over her in an upstairs closet and know she’d lost time and Eddie’d lost the fight, but it was something. 

The real world, as it turns out, is much much bigger than four walls. It’s something she’d known, in the abstract way you know that there is blood pumping through people you care about, it’s always there, drifting in the back of your mind, but once you actually see a substantial amount of it you wish you had never known about it at all. 

It’s a dodgy metaphor at best, especially for Richie, whose favorite person in the world does not, in fact, have blood pumping inside of her but instead a lot of fucking black slime, but all that to say, her world is bigger now and sometimes, even though all of this is much better than before had ever been, she sometimes finds herself wishing it was small again.

All that living in a big, wide world really does is make her feel like she can’t possibly run far enough when she needed to escape something.

---

Ben and Mike had fixed her cheeks, flushed out the maggots and sealed the cracks with something that dried slightly chalky when she prodded it with her tongue, thicker than glass but close enough in color and consistency that she thinks she’s the only one who could really notice. It was, overall, a good thing; she could go out without the dumb fucking masks, she hated the masks, the way the ear straps clung itchy inside the small crack segmenting her ears from the rest of her head, how it felt like a second barrier, a second line of stitches, keeping her out of conversations. Without the cracks more people looked her in the eyes, which was nice in its own way, even though Human Eddie had seemed incredibly upset that they hadn’t in the first place when she’d told her that.

All the perks of not having cheek holes were great, but she missed the maggots sometimes. She didn’t have any sentimental connection to them, not like her Eddie who’d said her cheeks were much less fun to kiss now, but having something wriggling and alive inside of her she could focus on helped reassure her that she’s alive. They helped reassure her that she’s awake. 

(Woah, random Stan POV)

Stan loves her friends, really, getting the Losers back in her life had been one of the best things that had ever happened to her, and Richie and Eddie’s kids just made everything that much better. That being said, when she had exactly zero friends with exactly zero children she had to drive half an hour out at three in the morning far less often.

AND BONUS here's the first Gals Sighting on my tumblr with my silly lil pandemic art:

AND!! My most recent them!! (or welllll most recent n!richie, I need to draw neddie again desperately)

That's all for now but I am SURE I will have more thoughts on it later!! I care about these kids SO MUCH!!!! I LOVE them!!! If you've got any specific scenes you've got questions on too I would LOVE to elaborate!! but my brain has become soup!!

[petertingle-yipyip]

POOKIE now that the album has been out for a while what are your fav songs????

me personnally i cant pick they all already mean sm to me😭😭

once i saw it was a DOUBLE ALBUM i decided to wait till i had enough time to listen in full so i will listen right now and pull a you and give live ratings! (skip to the bottom for an overall feeling)

fortnight 8/10 - this is so ex coded holy “i love you and it’s ruining my life” literally of her relationships at some point, wow. i will say that post is an interesting collab for this type of song but i don’t hate it

the tortured poets department 6/10 - i liked the bridge (i think that’s what it is) the best. lyrically it’s good but not my fave and saying that ab the title track i hope doesn’t get me yelled at by anyone

my boy only breaks his favorite toys 9/10 - i claimed this one from the tracklist so i knew i was gonna like it. the best she stays with as she sings the title is perfect for an edit

down bad 7.5/10 - i didn’t expect her to come out cussing at me, okay ms swift. not a skip but not a daily listen either. crying at the gym is relatable though

so long, london 8/10 - i used this as a fic title lol but the cadence really shows how angry/tired she was by the time they split. the lyrics here are so powerful too. her imagery is always so beautiful

but daddy i love him 6/10 - idk why but this just doesn’t resonate with me the way i thought it would. still good though but i wouldn’t save it turn it on from my own phone

fresh out the slammer 9/10- having that one person who is your immediate thought, the driving force behind you, your everything is all i want and that yearning keeps me up at night

florida!! 4/10- nothing about this song drew me in 🫣

guilty as sin? 8/10 - “i choose you and me religiously” so matt murdock coded

who’s afraid of little old me? 10/10 - SO ex coded and rep coded “i was gentle, i was tame till the circus life made me mean” or “you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me” TELL ME THAT ISNT OUR GIRL EXODUS

i can fix him (no really i can) 6.5/10 - me with every fictional man i come across the “ woah, maybe i can’t” at the end is crazy, basically agreeing that he was such a mess but i was hoping to like this one a little more

loml 9/10- joe put her through it, holy shit

i can do it with a broken heart 10/10 - immediately can tell she was writing about herself performing from another perspective and i love the juxtaposition of a pop-dance type beat with these tougher lyrics “i cry a lot but im so productive” is literally me

the smallest man who ever lived 7.8/10 - the title feels like the inverse of the “loudest woman this town has ever seen” lyric and to me, it really highlights got she was always this icon whereas he was always ducking and dodging and not willing to live in that spotlight with her

the alchemy 5/10 - i feel like the message of this song went right over my head

clara bow 6/10 - it’s a cute song that (i think) documents the growth of her career and maybe the comparisons/comments she gotten as she’s worked and how people compare new stars to her

the black dog 5/10- it doesn’t really resonate with me

imgonnagetyouback 8.5/10 - is this the one some people are saying is similar to get him back! by liv? bc the only similarity i hear is the concept of not knowing if you’re gonna rekindle or beat the shit out of your ex

the albatross 8.5/10 - it’s like she knows exodus and elektra. “she is here to destroy you” but i think this is another way of her reclaiming her image/reputation through acknowledging and challenging what men/media say about her

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus 8.8/10 - honestly idk what ab this song but it’s so beautiful. i can’t explain it but its like a ballroom dance

how did it end? 9/10 - this song gives the vibes of a movie scene where two people are on swings at the night and then suddenly, one swing is empty (but still going) and the other person is just teetering on their toes

so high school 5/10 - gives me early ts vibes and it’s cute but not really me

i hate it here 7/10- not my favorite but i do like the beat

thanK you aIMee 6/10 - this is directed at KIM or am i tripping? also the guitar reminds me of debut era for some reason

i look in peoples windows 7.5/10 - this song is yearning, wanting to see that person just one more time and its me wondering if i’ll see my ex again, just to know what’d happen if he saw me again after everything he’s said to me

the prophecy 9/10 - i really love the chorus

cassandra 5/10 - didn’t really stick out to me and became background noise 🫣

peter 7.8/10 - its really cute and ik it’s probably more of a peter pan reference but the editors need to get on it and do peter x mj

the bolter 8.7/10 - i was not reviled by anyone except my own father so (we’re better now though) but i do run from intimacy

robin 6/10 - slow, sweet, cute little song

the manuscript 9/10- instantly loved it (forgot what else i wanted to say here)

overall, is a lyrically beautiful album. there’s so much emotion in the music and her delivery. her imagery is so beautiful as always. personally, i won’t say i love it but it is so so impactful. releasing 31 songs in one project is unheard of so i tip my hat to her ability to tell these stories with such grace and eloquence through such a marathon of an album. i like that you can hear bits of her previous albums in some of the songs and it is a very mature project imo. you can tell how much this meant to her and how much of herself she’s poured out. its an overall ~7.8/10 for me but i would recommend everyone to give it a listen

[mmvalentine]

The Pianist pt 4 | Jurdan

Modern AU. Part 1 part 2 part 3 part 5

Jude woke up with a bad taste in her mouth and cotton wool in her brain. She groaned, groped around on the night stand for her phone and had to look at the screen through one eye because the light hurt her.

Does Cardan wake up like this every day? Jude wondered. And if so, how was he not dead?

Cardan. Shit.

Jude had a vague memory of kissing Cardan at Locke's party, but she was not entirely sure that she hadn't dreamt it. Fuck it. Cardan had been with so many girls she very much doubted one drunk kiss at a party would even register for him. Jude refused to be embarrassed.

In fact she was pretty sure that what she was actually feeling was annoyance, since he a) had managed to get under her skin even though she absolutely didn’t want him there and hadn’t invited him and b) was now striking up some exercises on the piano that sounded like he was playing them on the inside of her skull. Since when did Cardan start anything before lunch?

Jude tried to roll over and go back to sleep. Luckily for her, this was her one day a week off from all three of her jobs. Unluckily for her, Cardan was only just getting started.

Twenty minutes later, there was a pause. Jude sighed her relief as the infernal exercises finally stopped- only for a furious Baroque piece to begin. “No no no no,” Jude yelled. She flung back her covers, still dressed in the black dress from the night before, with bed hair and yesterday’s makeup, and stalked out the door barefoot.

Through the fire door, up one flight of steps, and down the hall to Cardan’s flat. She hammered her fist on his front door.

"Cardan!" she barked. "Cardan you insufferable ass!"

The piano stopped, and before he could get to her she yanked the door handle. It was unlocked, and Jude opened the door to a very surprised Cardan who was himself just reaching for the knob.

"Jude?"

"Yes Jude, hello it’s me your downstairs fucking neighbour who cannot sleep through this racket!"

Cardan just stood and stared at her. Some quiet part of Jude’s mind was sure she looked like a madwoman, but the louder part ignored it and continued the tirade.

"I mean for fuck’s sake Cardan what do you have against sleep?" She flung the words at him. “You keep me up all through the night because you refuse to operate during daylight hours like a normal person, and then the one time I want to sleep in, the one time- Cardan do you know I never ever ever sleep in? And then this one time I think maybe I’ll just relax a little, here you are like you’ve got some kind of personal vendetta against me getting a full eight hours!"

She paused to draw breath, and still Cardan just stood there. It was infuriating.

"Well?" She demanded.

And then Cardan put both his hands around her face, and pulled her mouth to his.

The heat was instant. Jude burned up under it in for a second, then realised what was happening and cut the kiss off.

But Cardan was having none of that. He pulled her right back to him, and Jude did not have enough willpower to break away a second time. The shocking fever of it wiped out all logical thought and the next thing she knew she was folding her arms around his neck. Cardan wrapped his own around her waist, stooping a little to reach her and then pulling her up against his body. He took a step back and Jude let him lead her into his apartment, the door closing softly behind them.

Cardan moved his mouth against hers and when his tongue lashed out she was only too eager to meet it. She scraped her nails against his neck as his hands slid into the tangle of her hair.

Jude took another step forward, and Cardan backed into a lamp. It toppled over noisily, but he didn’t let her stop the kiss. Just moved them to the side, where Jude’s back hit a shelf and two books fell out. Cardan didn‘t seem to care at all. Pushed her further into the wall while his teeth found her bottom lip, and knocked a frame down as his hand hit the plaster behind her.

Jude tugged him closer at the waist, and returned every one of his kisses. She might have kept kissing him all day, he tasted so good, but then in between one breath and the next he whispered her name, and she realised.

She was making out with Cardan.

Jude shoved him away, hard, and stormed out the door without a word.

////

Cardan didn't see Jude for a week after that.

It was strange, they had been in each other's proximity for a long time now and not had a lot to do with each other but now, somehow, he was quite sure she was avoiding him.

He didn't know quite what to feel about that kiss.

In his defence, she had started it. That night of Locke's party- no, before that. The night she started singing him to sleep through the air vents. She had floated into his life through his ears and now her absence chafed like a burr in his shoe. Of course, in the past days there was no singing. Not even when Cardan lay there for an hour, waiting to hear her voice.

Locke had seen her.

In spite of the mess that had been that party, and the morning after, it seemed that Jude had taken on Cardan's advice and agreed to meet with Locke for the play.

And according to Locke, things were going very well. He raved about Jude's voice, which irritated Cardan to no end. He had put his ear to the carpet just to hear her, and now he had to share her with Locke? Prick.

Locke, as always, had an easy time of assembling the rest of his cast. Cardan did not think him a bad writer, but he did suspect the queues for his casting call had more to do with who his father was than with his skills as a playwright.

He had been auditioning for a couple of weeks now, and with Jude in place, he was ready to call his first cast meeting. Cardan, Nicasia and Valerian were expected to attend too- Nicasia and Valerian never missed a chance to be on stage, and Cardan was invited for his "musical ear."

So there they all were, on a Friday evening, in the old theatre Locke's dad let him use. Waiting for the last few people to arrive. When Jude walked through the door she nodded to Locke, but avoided Cardan's gaze.

Fine, he thought. If she didn't want to talk to him, he certainly wasn't going to force her. He thought of the rant she had loosed on him that morning last week, and figured it was probably better this way.

Finally, Locke called them all to attention, and Cardan sat in the back row with Nicasia and Valerian as Locke addressed them all from the stage. Cardan put his feet up on the chair in front of him, and let Nicasia doze on his shoulder while Valerian picked things out of the soles of his boots with a pocket knife.

"So without further ado,' Locke was saying, may I present to you our stunning leading lady, Taryn."

Cardan looked up. The small group were politely clapping as a tall, thin woman stood and nodded at them all. She was all blonde hair and heroin chic, just Locke's type. But what about-

"And of course our vocalist, discovered by yours truly and pulled from the bowels of the subway tunnels, Jude!"

The group applauded mildly again, but Jude did not stand up. Locke continued. "Jude is going to provide the singing voice for Taryn, although I haven't decided whether we're going to pre-record or get her to sing live backstage."

What?

"What?" Jude demanded. The cast went quiet. "You want me to sing for Taryn?"

"Yes, of course," Locke said. "You've got a lovely voice, Jude, but Tarym looks more the part, don't you think?"

"Well you didn't fucking tell me that when I agreed to do this, Locke."

"Jude," Locke held up his hands. "Please stay calm. I'm sorry if you misunderstood."

"If I misunderstood? You lied to me. Why in the hell would I want to stand around behind a curtain so that someone prettier than me can get the credit?"

"Aw come on, Jude. It's not like that. This is a very common practice in show business," Locke insisted.

Now that the drama was amping up, Nicasia and Valerian were suddenly paying attention.

"Yeah come on, Jude," Valerian called down. "It's a compliment, you have a great face for recording!"

"Darling, these are all Juilliard trained performers," Nicasia added. "You didn't actually think you were going to be on stage did you?"

"I didn't ask to be here," Jude said, picking up her bag. "Fuck this, and fuck you guys slowly with a fork."

She strode out the door, right past their row.

"Jude, wait," Cardan said, scrambling out of his seat.

"You stay the hell away from me," Jude hissed, then the door slammed behind her and Nicasia burst into hysterical laughter. Cardan looked back down toward Locke, who was shaking his head tragically.

"This is why you never hire amateurs," he said sadly, and in that moment, Cardan hated them all.

****

Hooo boy okay a lot happened in this chapter! We are in a two week lockdown after a COVID break out so I guess you get lots of writing this weekend. Someone please hug them for meee

JURDAN MASTERLIST

TAGLIST: @asteria-of-mars @swankii-art-teacher @loosingdreams @feysand-loml @cityofbookish @story-scribbler

[melchron]

Solve It Squad: Back In Biz 1 Thoughts

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER

I feel like I watched so much and nothing at the same time

nick gage and meg lloyd loml

but seriously that intro is amazing

I love their cartoony designs and the song is so good

everyone in the instalive hates keith

worst witness ever

how is esther this high and drunk and still the only one to have a braincell

they can tell human hair from animal hair

I love that scrags wants a new puppy

jiavani is great and I love her

my mom thought jiavani was james in a wig and I still haven't recovered

her parents just left their baby to live with squirrels for 3 days????

I love that talking dogs are a normal thing

I have several questions about the smoking dog and I don't know how many of them I want answered

"I don't want to force it" *continues to suggest the dog do things cluebert would do*

I am so curious what made doinky stand out. like the first dog seemed nice. he misses his family

also why is he like that???? doinky is just so?? like not cute

I actually have a lot of questions about doinky but we don't have time to get into all of that

KEITH KNOWS ABOUT TRAPS LIKE FRED!!!!!!!

are the amazon workers ok???? they got caught in beartraps

DAPHNE NAME DROP

I don't like keith's uncle. he hunts animals and is kinda creepy

so gwen has a new last name and now I need to retag everything

mimi loml

I love all of the circus people

the doinky voice sounds like joey's diane voice but like if she got possessed

esther does not want kids

I hope the chimp gets happiness

gwen is a working woman

ESTHER IS NONBINARY!!!!!!!!

AND THEY'RE GOING ON A DATE WITH GWEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY RIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nicholas sweetie I'm sorry you didn't deserve any of this

wow scrags how about you do something for someone else for once

yes hi hello I love paris so much. she is perfect in every way

goth jojo siwa

cam is good too also

ok I know keith sucks for trying to end gwen's marriage but watching him try to be a dad is the cutest thing

sorry I'm still freaking out over gwen and esther getting high and going on a date

THEY CALLED HER THEIR WIFE I CAN'T

ESTHER WAS PETTING HER

THEY GOT MATCHING TRAMP STAMPS

THEY DID THE LADY AND THE TRAMP KISS

YOU CAN'T TELL ME THEY AREN'T MARRIED

ACAB

I don't know where they got that mouse mask but I never want to see it again

awww esther won nerf guns for their wife at the not chuck e. cheese. couple goals

paris is ready to join her friends how iconic of her

keith singing all the small things in prison I'm dying

tammy is god

in conclusion, some dude has a girlfriend, and the girl has a partner, and that person has a wife, and that girl has a husband and two kids

[biclarisselarue]

hello loml :’) for the asks - can i please get a percabeth (your fav hehe) for a 6. coffee shop!au, 1. friends to lovers, and 32. “shut up for a second, will you?” BUT it’s percy saying that to annabeth hehe love you grace

It’s 7 am, and Percy is not looking at the door. Neither is he waiting to hear the chime of it opening while cleaning the counter space. And his whole body definitely hasn’t suddenly gone tense, heart beating a little faster, and palms getting slightly sweaty because it’s 7 am on a Tuesday morning and that’s always when—

Ding.

His head whips up to see a familiar student pushing her way into the shop, dressed in sweats and a sweatshirt with her hair pulled into a messy ponytail, ready for the morning class that he knows is at 7:30 am in the building right across from the coffee shop because she complains about how early it is almost every week.

“Morning, Annabeth.” He grins widely as she simply grunts a quiet hello back at him, eyes still a little bleary and unfocused. “Looks like you really need this today.” 

She takes the waiting cup from him gratefully and takes a sip before pulling out her wallet to pay, sighing contentedly. “When do I not?” As always, she drops an extra five dollars into the tip jar. 

“Up late studying for your final?” Percy steadfastly ignores the fact that maybe it’s a little unusual that he knows so much about the personal life of one of the shop’s regulars. That’s a lot easier to ignore than Rachel’s pointed eyebrow raise from beside him at least. 

It’s with a sheepish grin and another sip of coffee that Annabeth replies, “Maybe.”

A quick look outside shows nobody approaching and since there’s nobody inside the shop other than the three of them, Percy has no issues with leaning against the counter and focusing all of his attention on the woman he’s had a slight crush on for the past five months. It’s because of this focus that he notices the tension to her forehead as she looks down at the side of her coffee where he’s written Nerd <3 in a large, messy scrawl. She’s smiling, but her hands are tense around the cup. 

“Hey, you’re going to do great, okay? I’ve seen you through this whole semester, and you’ve done amazing in every single thing the prof has thrown at you.”

Annabeth looks back up at him, but the tension in her body only seems to intensify. She glances briefly at Rachel, who seems to get some kind of hint and disappears into the back room, then back to Percy. Her fingers drill nervously against the side of the blue compostable cup. 

“Percy, I was wondering if you’d want, maybe, since this is my last class, right, so I won’t really be needing to come to this side of campus anymore, but I was thinking, well, hoping, that you’d want to, if you’d like to, um, go on a date with me sometime?” Her words speed up as she keeps talking, so much so that he almost misses the actual question. 

“Uh,” he says helpfully, still trying to process what’s happening. Should he pinch himself? Is this some practical joke her and Rachel had planned?

Her cheeks turn pink slightly, and she shifts on her feet. “You don’t have to say yes! I know that I’ve been coming in here a lot, and you might feel obligated to agree because you have to be nice to the customers, but if you say no, I won’t be offended or mad, and I’ll keep coming here and this wouldn’t affect how I tip or anything, though I’d probably avoid your shift times.” She laughs nervously and opens her mouth again to keep talking, looking more uncomfortable by the second.

“Wait, shut up for a second, will you?” Her mouth snaps shut with a slight click, even as her eyes narrow. Percy scrubs a hand over his face and through his hair, finding it harder and harder to keep a stupid grin from forming. “I mean, sorry, I just.” Deep breath, Percy. “I would love to go on a date with you sometime, but I was starting to get worried you wouldn’t give me the chance to say yes.”

“Right, sorry.” Her smile takes on that slightly sheepish quality again, and he has to force himself to not get too distracted by how cute she looks. “So, um, that is a yes though, right?”

He nods. “Yeah, that’s a yes.” They stand there, grinning foolishly at each other, both a little flushed. 

Rachel comes pushing through the back door, waving her phone at them. “Annabeth, you’re going to be late for your exam— you know, the final one! I’ve got your number, I’ll send it to Percy and make sure he plans something great, now go before you scare all the other customers off with your gross eye contact.” Percy tries to shove her, rolling his eyes, but she simply dodges his attempt and points at the door. 

“Okay, okay, I’m going!” Annabeth laughs, still looking at Percy, and lifts her coffee cup up in a mock cheer as she starts to walk towards the door. “See you later then. For our date.”

He repeats it, face getting sore from the smile that seems to have permanently lodged itself on his face. “For our date.”

Rachel laughs at the both of them and calls out as Annabeth slips out the entrance. “Good luck!”

[casselisims]

♔ →  westeros  presents  BETH CASSEL, the  LADY of  HOUSE CASSEL. a raven sent word that she bears the resemblance to  SARAH BOLGER. the  TWENTY-FIVE year old  FEMALE  was  COMPASSIONATE & KIND before the dawn of war, but have now become  MISTRUSTFUL & MELANCHOLIC. when songs are sung, their verses speak of  INNOCENT SMILES HIDING MILES OF TRAUMA, BLOOD RED ROSES SITTING ON PURE WHITE SNOW, MELANCHOLIC BABY BLUES. whispers throughout the seven kingdoms claim that their allegiance lies with  HOUSE STARK, but fealty means little when you play the game of thrones.  (  jane, 19, gmt 2:00, she/her.  )

hello everyone! my name is jane and i’m a 19 year old from newfoundland! i love to read and write, and i’ve actually been writing since i was probably like three or four, though obviously back then my stories were just gibberish. my father was a poet, and my mother used to write romance novels, so writing has been a big part of my life. i use it mostly as a means of escaping the real world, honestly. i do try to be as active as i can be, though when you can’t find me here on beth you can reach me on discord which is open for everyone! beth is the loml, she’s my precious sad baby girl, and i hope that everyone grows to love her as much as i do.

BIOGRAPHY Growing up the daughter of the Master at Arms, Beth was expected to have found some interest in weaponry. But, she took the complete opposite route. She was as soft as a flower, as many people said. She was soft spoken and gentle, excelling at needlework. She spent many of her days hanging around the Stark children, namely Sansa, due to favoring her aura. Many of her days were spent practicing her dancing and singing, or drawing her father and the boys he trained when she was allowed to sit and watch.       As time passed and the world fell into a state of peril, Beth struggled within herself for being so cowardly. While her father, the Stark boys, and all of the North went to war fought for not only their freedom, but the Kingdoms well being, while she sat in the North and practiced her needlework. Eventually the young girl grew extremely anxious and began observing more fights, more training. As the world grew colder and colder, and winter descended onto Winterfell, the once soft girl found herself hardening. She was enraged that the Lannisters could behave in the manner which they did, that the Freys could’ve betrayed the Starks in such an extreme way, that even in her home there were whispering of harsh words about their new Royal family. As the shell of ice wrapped itself around her raging heart, Beth Cassel vowed to do SOMETHING, anything, to aid not only those who were her friends, but those who had become her superiors. Much to her fathers disapproval, Beth’s focus shifted from simple needlework and the typical Lady duties to doing what she could to help with the army: sewing their banners, aiding in the cleaning of their armor, and even helping with the sick and injured.

HEADCANNONS: 001  ⇻ Beth is known for her ability with the arts. Although her singing and dancing talent is far more prominent than her drawing/painting, she enjoys doing them all equally. For nameday gifts, she’ll often give out a painting or drawing that reminds her of the person, whereas she’ll often dance or sing to entertain at parties and feast. She prefers dancing with a partner over alone, and most commonly sings about legendary kings and warriors alike.

002  ⇻ Despite being so good at Needlework, she doesn’t enjoy doing it. She does so only because it’s expected of her, and she hates to let down her father, Ser Rodrik. Under the belief that he wouldn’t approve of her doing anything less than perfect when it came to any of her duties, she thrived to be so. Her idol of course being Sansa Stark, one of her few friends, who was known to be perfect at everything she did.

003  ⇻ Growing up being so close to the Starks, Beth had a crush on the elder Stark boy, Robb, and the Stark’s bastard, Jon. Although it was definitely no secret among the girls, and even her father, she denied ever having any feeling for either of them. She eventually grew out of the childlike wonder she had with both boys, and although she has no reason for being embarrassed over her past feelings, still refuses to admit that it was ever a thing - even if her father still torments her time to time. (Although, feelings do linger)

004  ⇻  After the war began, Beth was in a constant state of fear. Although she was safe in Winterfell, she worried for the people she cared about going out and fighting these wars. She spent many nights worrying over her fathers wellbeing along with many of the boys she’d grown up with, knowing all of them were fighting for their rights and freedom. Knowing many of the boys were still just that - boys - with no experience with war. Her terror left her a shell of the girl she had been, and she slowly withdrew into herself, reflecting on what she could do to help.

005  ⇻ The discovery that she wanted to not be a fearful little girl anymore came suddenly and at random. It dawned upon her that not all women had to sit at home waiting for the men to come back and simply be fearing for them. There were plenty of female warriors - ones she had idolized in legends like Visenya Targaryen. While she would never be able to pick up a sword and wield it, or ride into battle on the back of a dragon like the formerly mentioned, she could do what she could with the skills she’d been forced to hone over the years to take care of her soldiers.

006  ⇻ Despite being such a beautiful young lady, and one that had been well known and fairly well respected in Winterfell, Beth has never known love. Too shy as a young girl to pursue boys or even give them a response when they had tried to court her. As a young lady, she became too focused on aiding in the war to even think about finding a husband.

INTERESTING PLOT POINTS:

001  ⇻ The biggest, most interesting plot point, would be someone seeing how eager she was to do something other than tremble. Learning how to fight and protect not only herself, but those around her, and take the first steps in following in her fathers lead, and becoming one of the woman warriors that she idolized in the past, would be huge for her. This development would break the barricade around her mildly sexist outlook on how she was meant to behave, and drown out the fear of her father disapproving of her for wanting to protect her people. I think she’d struggle with it a lot, and most likely become easily frustrated when things didn’t work out immediately. ( like the swords being too heavy )

002  ⇻ Meeting Daenerys Targaryen would also break down those barricades and drown those voices. Seeing a woman who belongs to no man, who does everything a woman isn’t supposed to do, would be magical for her. On top of that, she’s always idolized the Targaryen women and their fighting abilities, and dragons are pretty cool.

003  ⇻ Having someone actively remind her of her duty as a woman to find a husband and bear children would be interesting. She does want that, she wants a family, to continue the family tree. After all, she’s her fathers only living child. To not do so would be the biggest betrayal. Even more interesting would be her finding someone she wants to settle with enough that it draws her attention from the cause, and bringing about the chaos of her struggling between deciding on acting on these impulsion or continuing to do her job.