#lollll idk how to do this
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Bang! 💛
#undertale#undertale yellow#starlo uty#undertale yellow starlo#zed art!#hi that’s me I’m zed#ummmm#undertale yellow fanart#fanart#lollll idk how to do this#okay
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queer people will think they have a strong identity set in stone based on their past experiences and feelings and then years later have its entire foundation blasted away as soon as they think about it from a different perspective for a minimum of 5 seconds and then start questioning their entire identity again
it's me. i'm queer people. i think i just realised my identity as a demiromantic person is actually demi-queerplatonic or even some sort of demi-alterous thing instead and what i felt before wasn't actually romance and now i'm really confused about it. chat wtf is going on
#the aro -> demi -> queerplatonic -> alterous pipeline is real lmaooooo#ok i did some more thinking. i might be demialterous! the term alterous feels very close to what i felt a few years back#and it does kinda match up with how i feel about my fictional beloveds. it's a strong loving for them that is not romantic-#-but rather something else entirely that is very intense (along with aegosexual and aesthetic attraction)#idk man i just love them a lot and want to think about them getting kissed#i feel like i just hatched from a new cocoon again with this realisation lollll#feelings are weird.....#but that begs the question: if i am not demiromantic then what am i when it comes to romance?#i've used the demiromantic label for so long that i'm just really confused on what i am now that i might not be demiromantic after all#of course i can still use it if i want to because i can do whatever i want forever but also i love having accurate labels to categorise-#-my many feelings like books in a bookshelf and now i need to do some searching#i think i might be grayromantic or desinoromantic... i'm not sure yet#also i looked up the alterous flag and it looks like a derpy hooves x pinkie pie flag and now i'm just thinking about them loll#should derpy and pinkie be alterous mascots? the colours match up pretty well#man now i just wanna think about derpy and pinkie in an alterous relationship with each other#the term for an alterous relationship IS called a gummyfriend! and that fits pinkie so well#alterous#aroace#aromantic#arospec#aro spectrum#aro#aspec#questioning#demiromantic#demialterous#HOLY SHIT THERE'S A TAG FOR THAT?????#oh boy i gotta read up on that tag later
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it obviously has existed before then but new readers/watchers of dungeon meshi have had interactions that have solidified my hatred of a certain phenomenon, which is when somebody has a question or just observation about a piece of media, which is answered later in the piece of media, and is therefore currently a spoiler to them
and you get swathes of people being like "lol do they know" "nobody tell them xD" "do they know?" "oh sweet summer child 😅" "ermmmmm no spoilers but *heavily vaguely implied spoiler*" "do they know?" "Who's gonna tell them"
#talkys#dungeon meshi spoilers here#but saw an anime only someone draw marcille and be like i like how her ears are rounder!#SO many replies like ummmm smirk emoji theres a reason for that lol do they know? nobody tell them....no spoilers but *spoiler* lollll they#dont even know....#like. idk#like u might as well just tell them the fucking spoiler at this point#bc now all the air of mystery is gone#if someone did that shit to me id be so annoyed#im not a person who guesses plot twists and recognizes foreshadowing easily when im first experiencing media#and i dont usually even care abt spoilers but if someone ruined my only thread of observation id be madddd
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Wait I should post my elphelts lol
plus alts with my favorite elphie palettes
#first time actually rendering something in blender :^)#model and shaders from arcsys blender discord idk how to do the strive shader LOLLLL im not smart enough for that uet#i forgot if I had a blender tag whateverrrrr#ily white womannnnnn
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TAKE A CHANCE WITH ME .ᐟ
✩ — childe had always told you he liked you, but you never took his words seriously and dismissed them as his antics. however, after seven years of pining, can he prove to you that he's actually serious about his feelings? (or in which childe wants you to have a chance with him.)
✩ — childe x gn!reader. best friends to lovers trope. fluff, and uhm angst if u squint. no cws. wc: 784. reblogs and feedback are appreciated !!
✩ — zhongli was mentioned for no reason at all tbh. reader isn't oblivious btw it's more like indenial i think idk theyre complicated lol but yea you'll get it once u read it,, a proper drabble for this ramble i did back then :]
childe had told you numerous times that he had liked you for as long as you had known him. he always slips it into the conversation, even if it's completely off-topic. if you could get a penny every time childe says he likes you, then you'd be pretty rich right now.
it's not that you doubted his words (well, okay, maybe you do have a bit of doubt); it's more like you always thought that it was just another one of his antics. though you don't actually know if he's serious with what he says on this matter, you just dismiss it as childe teasing once again.
you and childe had this thing on fridays where you’d watch movies together. it’s a new movie every week unless you both agree to rewatch something. and while sitting on his couch, it isn’t any different. childe has said that he likes you about two times now, both with that cheeky grin he usually wears when he's teasing you.
(you wondered about it at some point—what if it's all true? maybe the reason he confesses in this way is to make it less awkward, and he could take it back if he ever gets rejected? you wouldn't really know, not when you can't keep count of the "i like you"s that childe has told you the whole time you have known him.
but one question always stuck in the back of your mind: who are you to childe? or rather—who is childe to you?
if you were to ask that of someone else, they’d say that you’re his best friend—the most obvious answer. you two have been inseparable ever since you met. however, the term best friend for him didn’t sit well with you.)
the movie was paused due to your quick bathroom break, and as you were going back, you were telling childe about the time zhongli forgot his wallet while you two were out buying materials for your project. but by the time you sat back down, childe looked troubled—agitated, even.
you called his name once or twice, yet there was no response. it wasn’t until you snapped your fingers in front of childe’s face that he snapped out of his thoughts.
"hey, you look pretty bothered; should we ditch the movie for this week?" you asked him.
but he didn’t answer; instead, he asked, "i know this is sudden, but... did you at least believe me once?"
you were speechless. what did he mean by that? surely he isn’t referring to that, right? (even if you wanted to not believe it, deep inside you knew what he was talking about.) you knew this would be a topic between the two of you sooner or later, but you didn’t expect to have this conversation now, of all times.
however, if you were to answer yes, you did believe it. you did, you did, you did—you believed all of it.
despite your lack of response, childe continued on. "i guess you didn't. i mean, it's okay. i guess my confessions didn't really seem sincere to you which is understandable."
"childe." you called.
"i mean, who would actually believe a guy who randomly confesses in the middle of a conversation? and the fact that i did it countless times? god, why did i do that? i'm stupid, aren’t i?"
"childe."
"i'm sorry, i really should've been more sincere at least once—"
"childe!" he shuts up immediately.
before you could actually say anything else, childe spoke up again.
"i love you."
in the seven years that he has loved you, childe has never felt this impatient. he never felt this suffocated from all the feelings he kept for you this whole time.
he expected the silence you gave him again, but his chest felt lighter now that he managed to say those three words. although the silence stings and now there’s a tense atmosphere between you both, childe has never felt any better.
on the other hand, you were still processing it all. you were asking yourself again: who is childe to you? he’s your best friend, of course. you love him—
oh.
oh.
you love him. you love childe, and he loves you. but it was no ordinary love between friends; it was a love that was more than friends could ever share. and it all came crashing to you that, truly, a universe without childe by your side would be mundane.
"i love you too," you finally replied.
"take a chance with me?"
a small nod is all what childe needs as a sign to kiss you.
there’s really no one else in the world with whom you’d rather fall in love except for him.
#( writings )#astronetwrk#favoniuslibrary#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin imagines#childe x reader#childe fluff#childe#I HATE HOW I STARTED THE CONFESSION SCENE GOD#but idk how else to write it im so sorry#i didnt do my delusions any justice#i hate this post so much actually but here i am posting it anyways#i cant bring myself to delete it bc after a month i finally finished the draft like ?#im not letting my hard work be wasted by myself LOLLLL#pls do send some feedback pls pls pls i need to know how was the impact from others
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so what i'm putting together from osmosis and the wonderful livebloggers and the incredible arkanis english updates account is something like this
Prefeito Jota: Hello, I'd like to hire you to investigate what happened in my city/island(?)!
Bagi, who was previously "invited" to a mysterious island/city by its elected official, subsequently trapped on the mysterious island/city, investigated the deep mysterious history of the island/city, came to no conclusions, found her brother after years of searching, was separated once again from her brother, gained and lost an adopted daughter (possibly to being kidnapped by the island government, which was evil), gained and lost a demon fiancée (possibly to being dragged back to hell, so there's no way to find her), gained and lost a close demon friend to dubious circumstance (did he die for his children? is he with skeppy in the gas station?), and has had an unknown amount of time to process and/or suppress all of this: Sure! :D
#ah shit now i gotta tag this#arkanis#qsmp#qsmp bagi#q!bagi#long tags#hopefully that covers it for people who don't care abt the lore tie-ins; i think they'll be able to filter this post#this is mostly a qsmp post so i hope you are able to filter it at your leisure :)#i try very hard not to bug have a good week :D#shut up vic#block game brainrot#is valigma an island or a city i'm unclear on this#or is it a city that's on an island#is there an island??? there's not. there is. where were they travelling. there was a boat i know that#fe//lps crashed the boat there's gotta be a port somehwere close by#but it could just be a port city.... is it an island??#brother i'm cooked i don't speak portuguese and i work during the streams.... cognates save me....... save me cognates.........#the name of my tiktok collection for qsmp is 'context clues only' bc i was determined to follow its story through only osmosis.#i was wrong about that one but. welcome back context clues only.#idk anyway hopefully this post can be filtered by people in either fandom who don't care abt crossover lollll 😭#look q!bagi has every reason to distrust elected officials that try to invite her places#last time it happened it was a bona fide second location.#it's kinda wild she was willing to do it again lmao#do you think she got the request and idly wondered how long she was gonna be stuck this time#we kinda had to skim over that aspect of q!bagi's arrival bc of the weird meta parts of the presidential invitation#but iirc the qsmp president inviting her was canon. which is WILD lmfaooo#and also how she was fiancées with tina (a demon) and friends with bad (a demon) and coparents with mouse (a demon)#and then she gets invited and comes to valigma and she's probably already got insane déjà vu and then BOOM. matt.#like i'm not cc!bagi so i don't know but i didn't read q!bagi as someone who just. moved on.#i don't think she would process the events of quesadilla island i think it's more likely she suppressed it. really really well.
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ughhhhh im stuck im trying to make an extras section to the dvd but it keeps crashing when i try to add the files, the main files are completely fine though
#idk how to do thisssss auuuughhghghghghg#googling doesnt help at all seems to be too niche of a problem#i can add ONE extra file and its like 40 seconds lollll#i want the 8 minute ones#dvd-r should fit 4.6gb and i have like... 2gb spare#arrrrgghhhhhhhh#chat tag
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source
#beetlejuice#beetlejuice musical#bow#curtain call#alex brightman#requesting humbly a gifset of alex as beej doing bows / blowing kisses bc i use them to say gbye to my friends#which one was this btw? i wanna add date but i made these gifs like a week ago lol#i might make more gifs idk#also i have some i already made that i have to convert so tumblr will let me post them in the first place. like i did with these#thats why theyre a week old i just found out how to convert them lollll
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i should be more endlessly annoying about x knuckles
would people be annoyed if i rambled shit while rewatching the entirety of sonic x lol
maybe ill tag it all as something so people can filter it out if it's too annoying dvhfshfsgd
#im bad at being coherent but i wanna do an exhaustive analysis of x knuckles ok#i feel like i havent seen anyone do it ??#watch me get into making video essays specifically to make a several hour long analysis of game/x knuckles LOLLLL#and how up to a point in time they were one in the same#and watch me ramble about how many things about knuckles are only properly displayed in x which is so fucking frustrating .......#x knuckles is peak and i need more people to agree with me LOL#like yeah ik it kinda started the trend of him being reduced to a hothead but idk he was always impulsive and stubborn and quick to fight#and x still has plenty of knuckles' more chill introspective moments too. and he has SO many good examples of how much he cares about other#so much so that he gets so emotional and upset and angry .. ouhg hes just a sweet guy okay
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since ofmd season is coming up here’s a little edit that i’ve never posted on here :)
#idk man first and only time i’ve done an edit#but i love it#made on imovie lmaoa#sorry if it’s bad quality#i actually originally posted this on insta & if you knew me there…ur a real one#lollll#but yeah everyone would always talk abt how never love an anchor was the perfect song for the show#but i never saw any edits so i had just decided to make one#i honestly was originally gonna do it from stede’s percy#but this was more fun for me#esp bc it kind of deviates from how it actually happens#so i can kind of tell that story#it could also be interpreted as how ed views it in retrospect#bc when you think of it yeah stede was the one who left#but ed rlly blamed himself so i that’s kind of what this edit it reflecting#(i’m pretending this is a short film and i’m being interviewed by a magazine.)#(also hi if you’re actually reading this 😭😭😭)#ofmd#our flag means death#our flag means gay#ofmd edit#ofmd ed teach#edward teach#edward teach born on a beach#ofmd blackbeard#ofmd s2#ed x stede#gentlebeard#ofmd stede#stede bonnet
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good news for all my haters: im not coming back. not properly. i think social media and being around ppl in general is destroying me so im gonna just focus my energy on other stuff
ill probably still be a little bit active occassionally but for now i think il just stick to posting art etc. im moving to sheezy.art (which is down for maintenance rn but opens for registration again on fridays!) bc the energy there is much nicer for me.. but ill still post on here and insta. im also gonna be working on building my own website again!! so bookmark it and maybe some day itll have cool stuff on it.... :]
#idk ill see how this goes but ive been like lurking here for a couple days and every time without fail it makes me feel shitty#may not be a permanent thing but i have a couple safeguards in place now to stop me from getting sooooo bad. i think#i deleted all the apps off my phone. which has helped a lot esp deleting insta for reels#and i actually made another blog for like if i ever go Cazy again. for like vents and stuff . altho if im not on social media at all it#shldnt be a prblem#i wont share that but u can ask for it if u want. tho unlikely ill post for a while idk#for the record my neocities has like nothing on it rn. its essentially a series of tests from when i started last yr#and got nowhere lollll.. but im hoping to have a lot of fun with it soon#lol this whole thing is a little stupid. and i feel bad but just know its all my own fault. my own issues etc#its happened b4 itll happen time and time again i think. so im just gonna part ways w it#from now on if im gonna overshare it has to be in a lengthy edited well written blog post !!!!!!!!!!!#oke. bye#i do actually have smth to post later on my rnm blog but whatevaaa#oh ill start up my queues again too
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Nothing I love more than having a little tea w the office ladies
#its called tea bc we have it at 7am#i do mean gossip btw not literal tea#i dont have time for that when i clock in#wouldnt be bad though#tales from diana#brenda says some of the new subs have been stealing the folders. GAGGG#why. there's nothing personalized in there and most of the info isn't even important#sometimes i dont even take them#idk how many they started w this year but last year they started w 7 or 8#and now theyre down to like. 2. and she said she saw someone w 3 yesterday#WHY WOULD YOU KEEP MULTIPLE???? U DONT EVEN NEED THE ONE#all that u need in there is the bell schedule. office extensions (which u only need to memorize admin's nd theyll forward u)#and the password to the chromebooks which is the same on each one#the rest is just filler stuff for like emergency drills#LOLLLL#newbs#me. the best substitute teacher#im allowed to have a big head here ive done this job awhile and im comfy at it#i used to think i was so bad at it. but now i know. im mediocre#which is the best thing a high school sub can be nowadays
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since my recent fixation on Sweet ANN and Big AL, i've looked through a lot of sources of information for obscure media pertaining to these voicebanks, particularly Sweet ANN as there is just more information available about her. i spent a few hours tonight compiling all that info into an iceberg and i think i'm ready to share it here!! it's not finished yet and a couple of levels are empty (mainly because idk if i can delete levels i don't need adfafds) but it has a majority of the information i was able to find by looking through the big Vocaloid wikis, vocadb and plugging dead links into the Wayback Machine. here is the berg :3
secondary sources that were super helpful for finding more obscure information:
#sweet ann#sweet ann vocaloid#vocaloid#vocaloid 2#vocaloid2#lost media#obscure media#partially lost media#iceberg#iceberg chart#i may make an iceberg for big al but the problem is that idk if he has as much obscure stuff surrounding him as sweet ann does#(at least idk yet)#i might need to reorganise a few entries but i think this is pretty good so far#there aren't that many entries but trust me there is a lot of information contained about them#hope i can find more stuff soon#most of sweet ann's myspace demos being lost media makes me really sad#i want to hear them.... but i can't.......#i could probably try fetching them from the wayback machine but idk if that will turn up anything#at least the song 'crazy' has been found and uploaded online#but the others..... where are they#more videos of sweet ann's vocaloid1 voice being online is insane to me holy shit#do you know how cool that is to me. holy shit. that is so awesome that we get to hear more of that#they all date back to around 2003 which was years before sweet ann would release on vocaloid2#it's kinda like the kaito demo from 2003 which came 3 years before he was released in 2006#just goes to show how much development goes into making a vocaloid!#i kinda wanna make an iceberg for unreleased vocaloid stuff now.... that chorus voice they were making is super interesting#there would be SO many entries and so much research required for that though lollll
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Drafting an outline for a fic i want to write and maybe never will and one of my bullet points is just "debt collecting: souls edition"
#not fallout#kal talks#literally have no idea how i managed to write 190k words for one fic because ive never managed to do it again#idk after All my work in 2022 got deleted its been really hard writing again lollll
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Two daysssss until I can try and get old art of mine off the old desktop hard drive dude I am so fucking excited.
#ramblings#if theres anything particularly good i might rb this and dump the highlights lollll#were talking like 2012/2013 up to like miiiid 2017 ?#i realized that if i want the rest of 2017 im gonna have to ask if they still have that laptop i used during that time but idk if i want to#those not caught up on the karl lore some really stupid/ shitty stuff happened late 2017 and it still messes with me a tad#it has nothing to do with that laptop and i dont rlly think my parents would remember tbh?#but its a sore/ awkward topic for me even tho its been nearly 6 years lmfao#i doooo wonder if that old laptop still works i could access some accounts ive been missing#(also would be fucking awesome to private my old youtube account bc i dooonnnt want that stuff public anymore)#<- my current youtube is fine but i had one in 2017 with my given name attached to it cuz i didnt know how to change the channel name#so. yk :/#UH FUCK i didnt wanna go off about that stuff uh anyways#i was surprised by how into the idea my dad was but tbh it makes sense. he has a lottt of hard drives he wants to go through so o7#hes making me do it first so i can tell him how it works and tbhhhh its kinda funny. girl its like a build ur own usb-stick#(hes in his 50s tho so whatever he can be a little technologically illiterate. as a treat)
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update on the whole email situation… i think everything is fine but also i may have just made it a tiny bit worse. she wrote back and thanked me for changing it etc and said she was sure i could understand her worries and was sympathetic from hearing her story and i replied to her just now and (indulgently!!!! perhaps wrongly!!!) was basically like yeah About That im sympathetic in part bc your story resonates a lot with mine so it was extra meaningful for me to hear you speak. and now im like fuck. i hope i didn’t overstep or something
#purrs#in her story a lot of it has to do w cultural expectations from her family but for me it’s just… trauma lol that’s literally it. but i feel#bad / weird abt it bc the reasons it’s happening to both of us are different (at least from what ive heard from her on the surface) but it#sounds like we’re both in effectively the same situation where we have to make trade offs abt how to spend time and fight thru the guilt and#figure out / wrestle towards ohr independent selves so… idk. but ijust hope she doesn’t think it’s weird or bad or anything that i said that#esp bc again i REALLY should’ve known better in using that quote in the first place bc i have quite literally been in that exact situation w#where ive had to ask ppl to take things offline or not post at all bc im scared my parents / family will see me being my full true self#which would endanger me to them lollll. so 🤪#delete later
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