#lol she really out here hating that she is forced to exist so much she going to kill all of her would be dads

[youkaiyume]

Four White Men: Causes her to exist.

Mizu:

[kwanisms]

Accidents Happen — h.hyunjin, l.felix

» stray kids masterlist «

➮ witch!Felix × f!Reader × incubus!Hyunjin wc: 10.5k summary: While studying for a witches exam, Felix leaves his materials out where his girlfriend, Y/N, happens upon them. When she reads an incantation, an incubus is accidentally summoned. Deciding to make a spectacle of it, the demon forces Felix to watch as he seduces his girlfriend. genres/themes/au: angst, smut; supernatural, witchcraft, and demonic themes, establish relationship (Felix), s2l (Hyunjin); non idol au, witch au, demon au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, Felix practices witchcraft, alcohol consumption (Y/N has a glass of wine), Hyunjin is a menace and restrains Felix with his powers, sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! special taglist: @yoonguurt , @anyamaris , @wooyoungqueen , @kpop-stories-21 , @xsweetelegantdiasterx , @kookthief , @stardragongalaxy , @millennial-fangirl , @blankdyean , @imwithurmother , @bangchans-angel , @oreoqueen , @yjeonginlvr , @zdgx1 , @shuxsoo , @s00buwu , @queenmea604  , @pochaccomin , @katsukis1wife , @linos-catnip Join the taglist! »» Closes 10/30 @ 23:00 CST! Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL NOT BE ADDED.

a/n: this one is kinda dark, not gonna lie so read with caution. This isn't a joke lol this is also kind of self indulgent cause I can. I used Google Translate again for the spell, so it might not be super accurate but I'm not really going for accuracy here lol it's smut. Thank you so much for reading, if you like this pls reblog or comment! As always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.

smut warnings: teratophilia (aka monsterfucking), unprotected sex (demons don’t care lol but you should), somnophilia, auralism, mind break, cuckold, use of pet names (Felix calls her angel, baby, but Hyunjin calls her slut, whore, etc), Hyunjin is a menace and Felix is a sobbing mess. Let me know if I missed anything!

dialogue prompt: ❛ I’m going to have you screaming by the end of the night ❜ & ❛ do you really think you’re in a position to be giving orders? ❜

═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════

Witches. Beings that have existed all throughout history and have instilled fear in communities for centuries. Practitioners of dark magic. Beings that worship the devil and sell their souls in exchange for mystical powers. This was how witches were always perceived.

Only it was entirely wrong.

Felix had heard a plethora of names thrown at him all his life. “Witch! Devil-worshiper! Heretic!” The words had been shouted at him from various sources but he knew deep down they were only scared because they didn’t understand.

He was misunderstood, his practices were misunderstood, and magick was misunderstood.

Felix didn’t stand around a cauldron, stirring in weird ingredients like eyes of newts or tiger claws or whatever other things fiction thought sounded bizarre and outlandish. Felix didn’t even own a cauldron. He wasn’t that kind of witch. He focused more on summoning and conjuring. That was his school.

But even the conjuration school of magick had special items he needed in order to do his spells. For that he had to visit Arcana Infinitum. The shop was located in the back corner of the town square, nestled between the ice cream shop and a beautiful and old antique store named Pandora’s Box.

Ignoring the weird looks he got from mothers as they pulled their children along and hurried across the street to avoid him, Felix continued on, the heels of his boots echoing on the stone sidewalk as he walked down past Marino’s and turned the corner.

Arcana Infinitum was a sight for sore eyes after all the glares and stares as Felix had walked from his home he shared with his girlfriend to the town square. He tried to not let it get to him but to see so much hate and disdain in one place made him wonder if moving here to this small town was worth it at all.

Not that he’d ever bring this up with you, his girlfriend.

He crossed the cobbled street and reached the door to the shop and opened it, stepping inside and finding solace in the warm interior. It wasn’t entirely freezing outside but the light mist really made the chilly air bite at his skin, his cheeks and the tip of his nose a bright pink.

“Welcome to-- oh it’s you, Felix!” a voice said and the blond looked up to see one of his favorite shopkeepers smiling at him from the back of the shop. “Hey, Joong,” Felix said as he moved further into the shop, meeting Hongjoong halfway. “What brings you in today?” Hongjoong asked, reaching up to brush some of his bright blue hair out of his eyes.

He wore a simple white button down shirt with bell sleeves cinched at the wrist and black slacks. Over this he wore a simple off white apron. “I’m studying for my exam,” Felix explained, reaching into the small crossbody he carried and pulling out a folded piece of paper. “It’s for my conjuration exam,” he continued, unfolding the sheet and handing it to Hongjoong. “I need these items.”

Felix watched Hongjoong read over the list, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as the older man muttered to himself. “I should have all of this,” Hongjoong finally said. “Look around while I gather your materials.” Felix thanked him as Hongjoong moved to grab a small wire basket and started walking around the shop while he walked over to look at a display of postcards.

Most of them were for the town and all of them were hand drawn. “Who drew these?” Felix called as he looked over the cards. “Oh, that would be Yunho and San,” Hongjoong replied as he moved behind the wooden counter and started searching through the shelves on the back wall.

Felix continued to look around. He had reached a bookcase with old tomes and spellbooks. He ran his fingers over the spines of the books, reading the titles until one caught his eye. A dark purple hardback with gold lettering in Hangul. He grabbed the tome and pulled it from its place. It was heavy as Felix looked over the cover.

“When did this come in?” Felix asked, holding it up to show Hongjoong the cover. “Oh a few days ago!” Hongjoong said as he set the wire basket on the counter and started to add everything up. Felix walked over with the purple book in his hands. “Is it for sale?” he asked softly as he reached the counter.

Hongjoong looked up and smiled before returning to his task. “Does a bear shit in the woods?” he retorted, adding everything up on the calculator before putting in Felix’s discount. “Add this on to my order,” Felix said, setting the book on the counter as Hongjoong started to bag everything.

He picked up the book and put it in the bag and told Felix his total as the latter pulled out his wallet. “Even with the book?” Felix asked. Hongjoong shook his head. “Book is on the house. Think of it as a little slice of home.”

Felix pulled out a few notes and handed them to Hongjoong who promptly entered the amount into the register and put the money away, grabbing Felix’s change. “Tell Y/N I said hey,” Hongjoong said as Felix put his money away and picked up his bag. “I will,” he said with a smile.

Exiting the shop, Felix shifted the bag in his arms as his phone started to ring. He pulled it from his pocket and smiled as he answered it. “Hey babe,” he said softly. “Hey,” came your voice. He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t his favorite sound in the world. 

“Are you home?” you asked.

“No,” Felix said as he started to walk across the street. “I ran by the shop to get some things for my exam,” he explained. “Hongjoong said to say hi by the way,” he added. You chuckled on the other side. “Of course he did. I’ll say hi next time I see him. Are you heading home now then?” you asked.

Felix could hear voices on your end of the line. “Yeah, hey, what’s that whispering?” he asked as he continued down the sidewalk, offering quiet pardons as he squeezed between other townspeople.

“Oh those are my coworkers and trust me,” you said. “They’re not whispering.” Felix heard a few soft apologies and snorted. “How’s work?” he asked and you sighed. “It’s alright. I wish I was home instead.” Felix laughed as he glanced up and down the street before hurrying across. “Don’t we all.”

You clicked your tongue in feigned annoyance. “You’re one to talk,” you replied. “I have a job!” Felix replied, sounding mildly scandalized. “I just don’t work in an office with a view of the city,” he added. You chuckled and no doubt shook your head. “When are you coming home?” Felix asked as he walked down the street towards your shared home.

“Soon,” you replied. “Cleo has told us she has an end of the day meeting we’re supposed to attend so we’re all in here waiting for that to start. It might run over if she’s any later. So I was wondering if you’d be able to swing by the grocery store and grab the things on the list?”

Felix stopped in his tracks at the bottom of the steps leading up into the house. “I just got home,” he murmured. “I can drop this off and go back,” he added as he started up the steps, sandwiching his phone between his ear and his shoulder and digging for his keys.

“No, it’s okay,” you replied. “I know you’ve got a lot of studying to do. I’ll just stop by on my way home. Dinner will just be a little late tonight,” you replied as Felix unlocked the doors and let himself in. He shut the door before Fanta, his orange familiar cat, couldn’t escape.

“Are you sure?” Felix asked as he walked past the living room and into the kitchen. “Mhm,” you answered. “Cleo’s just entered the room so hopefully this meeting can start and I’ll be out of here sooner than expected. Gotta go,” you whispered. “Okay, I love you,” Felix said quickly. “I love you, too!”

Felix smiled as he hung up the phone and turned to open a cabinet, grabbing one of the glasses and moving to the fridge to get some ice and water. Fanta jumped up onto the counter, letting out a croaky meow as Felix turned to look over his shoulder. “What have I said about jumping onto the counter, Fanta?” The animal let out a small meow before moving and hopping down.

Felix rolled his eyes, sipping on his water and scrolling through his feed. “The world is a crazy place,” Felix started as Fanta walked over to the back door and meowed, pawing at the wood. “You live in a nice warm house. You’re safe here. Why would you want to go outside where you could be killed?” Felix asked, walking over and picking up the cat.

Fanta meowed as Felix cuddled him close. “Oh, you’re so dramatic,” Felix muttered as Fanta struggled to get free before Felix let him hop down. “Fine. I try to show you love and you don’t appreciate it. I’m going to study.”

Felix set his empty glass in the sink and grabbed his purchase from Arcana Infinitum before heading upstairs. He set the bag on his desk and then headed into your shared bedroom and sat on the foot of the bed, reaching down to untie his boots. Had he been home, his mother would have hit him over the head for wearing his shoes all over the house but you didn’t seem to mind.

Once his boots were removed, he started changing into more comfortable clothes, tossing his black jeans and shirt into the hamper and pulling on some gray sweats and an oversized white tee.

Once he was comfortable, Felix returned to his study where he started to unpack the items he’d bought, setting them aside as he did so. He pulled out the purple Korean book of spells and opened it, eyes scanning the pages written entirely in Hangul.

Maybe he’d do a little light reading before studying. He’d gotten the book for free after all. Felix set the book on the chaotic and messy surface of his desk, turning the page, and started reading.

When you arrived home after stopping by the grocery store, it was much later than you liked. The meeting thankfully hadn’t gone on for very long and the bus to your small town on the outskirts of the city didn’t eat too much time either. It was when you arrived at the grocery store to pick up a few things that things went wrong.

As usual, one of the elderly ladies in the town had to stop you and lecture you about the uses of witchcraft and making deals with the devil. You had to explain for what felt like the millionth time that you weren’t the one practicing magick nor were you in the habit of speaking about your boyfriend like that. You reminded them that magick wasn’t harmful. It wasn’t like what the movies portray it as.

One lady in particular had held you up as you tried to check out until you told her to bugger off out of frustration, grabbing your bags and quickly leaving the store with your purchases. The walk back to the house wasn’t long either but it was still late as you let yourself in with your key, careful to make sure Fanta didn’t try another daring escape out the door.

You carried the bags over to the kitchen and started putting the cold items away. You’d picked up another tub of ice cream knowing you’d need some after the week you’d had. Once you had put most of the groceries away, you were working in the pantry when you heard a creak of wood above you.

“Felix?” you called, stopping your movements. When he didn’t respond, you decided to go upstairs and check on him. Climbing the steps one at a time you made your way up and at the landing, turned around the bannister and approached the door to his study.

You knocked softly but when there was no answer, you turned the knob and pushed the door open, peering in to find your boyfriend fast asleep, his head resting on his arms.

You smiled as you pushed the door open fully and stepped into the room. Reaching down, you brushed some of his blond hair back and then your eyes landed on a small strip of paper lying on the book he had open on the desk.

You picked it up and scanned the words curiously. It was in Korean, that much you could tell. Felix had taught you the Korean alphabet and how to pronounce the letters and he had taught you a couple words so you could at least read some things. You recognized one word on the paper but regardless you read the sentence aloud.

“Gajang gip-eun jiog-eseo neoleul bulleonae gyeolsogsikyeo jugessda.”

You shrugged your shoulders and set the paper back down before turning to head back to the door until something caught your eye.The flame of a candle, dancing inside the glass. Stopping in your tracks, you turned back to face his desk and shook your head as you moved to the lit candle on the desk, leaning in to blow out the flame. 

“I don’t know how many times I’ve told you not to light candles if you’re going to fall asleep,” you murmured, gently stroking your boyfriend’s hair before exiting the room, closing the door with a click and returning to the kitchen downstairs to start dinner.

It had been a while since you’d made a nice home cooked meal, the two of you had been ordering out lately and you decided to do something nice not only for your hard working boyfriend but for yourself.

You seasoned and prepared the chicken, letting it marinate for thirty minutes as you prepared the vegetables and started your sauce in a pan. Once the skillet was oiled and heated, you added the chicken and let it sizzle for a bit before stirring it and added the veggies.

As you worked, you murmured the phrase you’d read earlier, turning it into a little song as music played in your head. You turned the chicken over again and finally poured the sauce in while some noodles boiled. “Okay, I need actual music now,” you said to yourself pulling your phone from your purse and turning some Mikazuki BIGWAVE on.

Felix awoke with a start, eyes snapping open as he looked around. He sat up, a loose page from his notes sticking to his cheek. He grabbed it and set it back on the desk before looking around. 

The door to the study was cracked open and he could smell something wafting through the air towards him. He looked down at his desk, the purple book lying innocently and looking back at him. Something was different. He noticed a small piece of parchment with Korean written on it.

He picked it up and read the sentence quietly. He didn’t like the words on it and shook his head, tucking the piece of paper away in the back pages of the book before marking his place and shutting the book. He could resume reading it later. He picked up the tome and set it on one of the shelves before getting up and stretching.

He pulled open the door, the smell of dinner getting stronger as he made his way out of the study and down the stairs. “Y/N?” Felix called. “In here!” He followed the sound of your voice and cooking into the kitchen where you looked up and smiled at him. He walked over, planting a kiss on your cheek, his hand coming to rest on the small of your back.

“It smells really good, babe,” he murmured, resting his chin on your shoulder. “It should be ready soon,” you said softly, giggling as he moved to stand behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Mmm, you smell good, too,” he added, pressing a couple soft kisses to the base of your neck. “I’m not for dinner,” you replied. “Hmm, maybe for dessert?” he whispered, sending a chill up your spine.

“Dinner first,” you retorted. “No,” he whined, burying his face in the crook of your neck. “Yes,” you said with a laugh. “Dinner first,” you set the spatula down and turned in his hold to face him, bringing your hands up to cup his face. “Then you can help me clean up and get your dessert after,” you added, pressing a kiss to his lips. Felix chased your lips as you pulled back.

“Fine,” he pouted as you turned back to finish dinner, adding the cooked pasta and giving everything a good mix as Felix moved to grab bowls from the cabinet. “There’s garlic bread, too,” you announced as he set the bowls on the counter and then grabbed two plates.

“What is it?” he asked as he moved to stand beside you. “Just a chicken recipe I found on Pinterest,” you replied struggling. “It’s got zucchini, red peppers, a white sauce and then chicken,” you explained as you turned the range off and started to scoop some pasta and chicken up to place in the bowls Felix held.

“Next bowl,” you said as you waited for Felix but he leaned in. “Pay the tax first,” he said, holding back a laugh. You rolled your eyes, kissing him before he moved the other bowl over.

Once the food had been served and you both had glasses of wine, you sat down and started eating. “This is so fucking good,” Felix said, covering his mouth with his hand. “You like it?” you asked, smiling at him. “Yes! I love it,” he replied, taking another bite.

“Good,” you chirped, taking a bite as well. “Neomu masisseo!” you heard your boyfriend say and you smiled.

Felix was placing another forkful of pasta into his mouth when he heard you mutter something under your breath. 

"Neoleul bulleonae gyeolsogsikyeo jugessda." 

He froze in place and slowly turned to face you. You had picked up some noodles and placed them in your mouth, glancing up and smiling at him. He couldn't be sure if he heard you properly.

"What did you say?" he asked softly, making you glance up at him. "Hmm?" you asked quietly. "What did you just say?" Felix asked again. "Neoleul bulleonae gyeolsogsikyeo jugessda," you repeated.

Felix's eyes widened, leaning forward as you continued to recite the evocation he'd seen earlier. "Gajang gip-eun jiog-eseo--"

Felix clamped his hand over your mouth. He shook his head. "Don't," he continued. "Don't finish that."

Your eyes widened comically and you nodded as Felix finally let go and sat back in his chair. “Where did you even learn that?” he asked, watching as a look of confusion crossed your face. “From a paper in your study,” you replied. Felix mentally cursed himself for leaving things out.

He would just have to perform a spell of protection before bed.

“It’s just gibberish, right?” you asked, innocently. Felix forced a smile and nodded. “Yeah,” he said softly. 

“Just gibberish.”

After dinner, Felix helped you clean up, washing the dishes and handing them for you to rinse and set aside to dry. His mind was reeling with thoughts of what you might have summoned. He knew that piece of paper was a summoning spell. ‘From the depths of hell,’ he thought to himself. ‘It couldn’t have taken,’ he continued. ‘She only recited the evocation. She didn’t do the entire ritual.’

Once the kitchen was cleaned, you set your gloves on the edge of the sink to let them dry and turned to Felix, smiling at him. “Well,” you started, drawing his attention as he pulled his own gloves off. “You helped me clean up,” you continued. Felix nodded, looking around. “I always do,” he replied.

You raised an eyebrow at his reply. “Don’t you want your dessert now?” you asked, reaching forward to grab one of his hands. Felix’s eyes widened. Of course, how could he have forgotten?

“How about a movie first?” Felix offered. He wasn’t quite in the mood now but with some coaxing, he knew his mood could change quickly. You rolled your eyes and leaned forward, connecting your lips with his. “Fine,” you murmured against his smile. “A movie first, then dessert.”

You pulled him from the kitchen, leading the way into the living room and over to the couch. Felix sat down, grabbing the remote and turned the tv on as you settled in next to him. He flipped through the options, settling on one and starting the film quickly.

It only took a few minutes of your fingers playing with his hair for him to pull you onto his lap, hands on your hips as you grinded on him, moaning into each other’s mouths. “Fuck,” Felix groaned, hand resting on the back of your neck. “You’re so fucking hot,” he moaned as your hips moved, grinding against his erection.

“I need you, Lix,” you whined, hands resting on his shoulders. “You need me, yeah?” he asked, looking up at you through heavy lids. You nodded quickly, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. “Fuck, I better give you what you need then, hadn’t I?”

You scrambled off his lap, taking his hand and pulling your boyfriend up the stairs, heading for the bedroom where you shut the door after him. Felix was on you as soon as the door shut, hands grabbing your hips and guiding you to the bed before he pushed you back onto the mattress, discarding his shirt and climbing on top of you.

“You’ve been locked away in your study so many nights,” you whispered as Felix kissed a path down the side of your neck. “Have I been neglecting you, baby?” he mumbled against your skin.

You nodded, breathing heavily as you felt his hands move to undo your pants. “I’m sorry, angel,” he continued as he started to pull your pants and underwear down, discarding them on the floor before pushing your thighs apart, settling between them on his stomach.

Your walls clenched around nothing as he eyed your glistening sex hungrily, licking his lips before meeting your gaze, his eyes boring into yours.

“Let me make it up to you.”

Felix awoke with a start, sitting up and gasping as he looked around the dark room. Light pattering against the window told Felix that it was raining. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he pulled himself from the tangle of sheets, glancing back at you sleeping peacefully beside him.

Glancing at the clock, the red numbers read three thirty-three. ‘The Witching Hour,’ Felix thought as he slowly got up from the bed, careful to not disturb you. He walked towards the bedroom door, turning the knob slowly and pulling the door open.

The hall outside was dark, the pattering of rain was louder as Felix cautiously stepped out into the corridor, the wood creaking under his bare feet. He stopped just outside the opened bedroom door and looked around, the small plug-in lights creating a line of lights along the corridor floor.

As he started forward towards the stairs, Felix turned his head towards the study. The door was shut firmly as he had left it earlier. He headed down the stairs, looking over the railing into the living room. Upon reaching the landing, he turned and walked into the living room, glancing around.

His eyes strained, trying to see in the low light. He saw nothing out of the ordinary and let out a sigh, now truly wondering what woke him up. He started for the kitchen with the idea of getting a glass of water when he heard a soft creaking to his left. He turned his head quickly, finding the small door under the stairs ajar.

Felix moved to one of the end tables between the sofa and the loveseat, turning on the lamp and adding some illumination to the room. He continued forward slowly, keeping his eye on the door until he reached it. Taking the knob quietly, he pulled the door open and reached inside, pulling the string for the overhead light.

Inside the tiny storage space, nothing was out of the ordinary. Everything seemed to be in place. Perhaps you had gone into this space earlier and didn’t get the door shut completely. Felix tugged the string, throwing the space into darkness before backing up and closing the door, making sure the latch clicked. 

He turned and headed into the kitchen, moving to grab a clean glass and get some ice water. As he was sipping on the water, he heard what sounded like knocking and looked up before moving around the counter and into the living room again. He strained his ears, listening for any sound over the soft pattering of rain on the roof.

He walked over to the door and peered out one of the windows on the side of the frame. He saw nothing and turned on the porch light, still seeing nothing. Shrugging, Felix turned the light off and headed into the kitchen to set his empty glass in the sink before making his way to the stairs.

Just as he was about to take the first step, a series of slow, heavy, and evenly paced knocks rang out from behind him. He froze and turned around to look at the door, his pulse starting to beat more heavily. He moved slowly, walking back to the window and peering out. Through the glass he could see a dark shadow standing on the porch.

He pulled back and stared at the door. ‘Who could it be this late?’ he wondered. Deciding to take another peek, his eyes widened when he saw the figure was gone. ‘I really shouldn’t open the door,’ he told himself. ‘But as long as I keep the outside door shut and locked it should be fine, right?’

He took a deep breath, taking the door knob in one hand as he turned the deadbolt, unlocking it with a click before he turned the knob and pulled open the heavy wooden door. The outside door was locked still as it was when he locked up the house for the night.

Outside the porch was empty, just like it had been the last time he peered outside through the window.  Felix leaned against the door, looking to the sides of the porch the best he could before he let out the breath he was holding. ‘There’s no one here,’ he told himself. “You’re seeing things,” he whispered, taking a step back and closing the door and engaging the lock.

He shook his head, chuckling to himself before starting up the stairs. As he reached the top landing, his smile fell as his eyes landed on the door to his study. The door that he knew had been closed when he went downstairs not twenty minutes ago was now ajar.

Felix glanced towards the bedroom and then back to his study as his feet slowly and quietly carried him forward. He reached the study and carefully pushed the door open, looking inside. The lamp on his desk was on but other than that, nothing seemed to be out of place.

Felix let out an exasperated sigh and stepped into the room and turned off the lamp, throwing the room into darkness. He glanced out the window, doing a double take when he noticed a dark figure standing in the backyard. He rushed to the window but the figure was gone. ‘What is going on with you?’

Felix shook his head and pulled the sheer curtains shut. As he turned back for the door, his breath caught in his throat. He could see a dark figure standing in the corner. His heart rate increased, a cold chill breaking throughout his body and a shiver running up his spine at the sight.

A dark heavy feeling settled in his stomach as his mouth started to run dry. ‘Just ignore it,’ he told himself. ‘It will go away if you ignore it.’ He focused his eyes on the door and started towards it, pretending as if he hadn’t seen the figure. Just as he reached the door, his body betrayed him and his head turned slightly to look at the dark figure which was now next to the door and next to him.

Felix’s lips parted but before he could call out for you, he felt a hand around his neck as the figure grabbed him, lifting him clean off his feet and slamming him against the wall quickly. Felix clawed at the hand around his throat as the figure leaned in, sniffing him before he heard a deep, almost demonic voice say “it’s not you.”

It let go of his neck and Felix fell to his feet, coughing as he reached up to massage his neck. The dark shadow pinned him against the wall, growling dangerously. “Wh-what do you want?” Felix managed to croak out, his voice hoarse and weak. “What do I want?” the figure asked. “I was summoned here.”

Felix’s eyes widened. The incantation, the one he told you was just gibberish. It had brought this? Was it a demon? Before Felix could voice any of his questions, the figure spoke. “I know what you are, witch,” it said. “But I also know you didn’t summon me, so tell me,” the figure continued.

Before it could ask its own question, a voice called out and Felix’s heart dropped into his stomach. “No,” he whispered as the figure turned its head, letting out a chuckle. “You’re not alone,” the demon said. “It must have been her.”

Before Felix could protest, the demon dropped him, throwing him to the floor. Felix looked up but the dark figure was gone. “No,” he said, scrambling up to his feet and rushing out of the study, his feet thudding against the wooden floor as he made for the bedroom.

Upon entering, he looked around wildly as you sat up and turned on the lamp on your bedside table. “What’s wrong?” you asked as Felix looked around and finally moved over to the bed, making sure to check under it before looking in the closet. “Felix?” you asked softly as he moved to look out the window into the backyard but saw nothing.

“Felix, what’s wrong?” you asked again as he moved to the bed and sat back down. “Nothing,” he answered. “I thought I saw something,” he added before waving his hand and pulling the covers back and draping them over his legs. “Let’s just go back to sleep, love,” he murmured.

You nodded, turning off the lamp and settled back under the covers, Felix wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you closer. “Goodnight,” you whispered as he placed a couple kisses on your shoulder. “Goodnight, angel,” Felix replied, his voice soft in your ear.

He wasn’t sure when he fell asleep but Felix awoke with a start, blinking rapidly as he looked around. He was no longer in bed. He was instead sitting in the chair in the corner of the bedroom. 

“What the-” he tried to push himself up but found he couldn’t move. ‘Sleep paralysis?’ he wondered before looking down and saw he was bound, quite literally, to the chair. White strips of cotton tying his wrists and ankles to the arms and legs of the chair.

“What the fuck?” he whispered, looking down and trying in vain to free himself.

“Don’t even bother,” a voice said and Felix looked up. The dark figure was standing in the corner, glowing red eyes looking at him and sending a chill up his spine. “You won’t be getting out until I’m done.” Felix stared back at the creature. “Done? Done with what?” Felix asked.

The figure began to move towards the bed. “Don’t,” Felix warned as the shadow stopped near the bed. Felix watched as the figure reached forward and turned on the bedside lamp near you. 

Expecting to see a grotesque demonic presence, Felix was shocked when a young man, seemingly no older than he, came into view. He had shoulder length blond hair that fell in soft waves, half of it pulled up into a ponytail with strands framing his face. He was tall and slim, wearing a fitted black suit.

“Don’t what?” the man asked, his voice smooth and clear. “Don’t touch her?” he continued. Felix struggled against the bonds holding him in place. “She summoned me, did she not?” he asked as one hand moved to take hold of the covers. “I said don’t!” Felix snapped.

The man looked up, his red irises burning into Felix. He moved around to the foot of the bed, bringing him closer to Felix’s position, and took a seat. “Do you really think you’re in a position to be giving orders?” the man asked, tilting his head to the side. Felix said nothing, only staring back at the demon.

“Don’t touch her,” Felix said again. The figure sighed and quick as a flash, the chair Felix was sitting in was pushed back, the demon had him in another chokehold. “I’ll do whatever I want,” he growled, his voice demonic and low again. “She summoned me. Not you.”

Felix stared up into the red irises. “So if I want to fuck her and make you watch, I will.”

Felix struggled to speak, spitting out the words. “Didn’t know--” The demon let go of his throat, watching as Felix coughed. “She didn’t know what she was doing. I’m the witch here. Not her. She doesn’t know what any of this is.” The demon let the chair fall back onto all four legs as he stepped back, tucking his hands into his pockets. “What’s your name, witch?” he asked.

Felix looked up at him, the position he was in made him feel inferior. Like he was beneath this creature. “Felix,” he finally spat out, the contempt and fury he held for the creature finally surfacing. “Felix,” the creature parroted. “Nice to meet you Felix, I’m Hyunjin.”

Felix narrowed his eyes. “I don’t care what your name is,” he started. “My girlfriend isn’t a witch. She doesn’t understand what she was doing so you need to leave her alone,” he hissed. The demon, Hyunjin, smiled again. “Do you know what she said in that spell?” he asked, cocking his head.

Felix nodded, not needing to think about it.

“Gajang--”

“In English, if you would please, Felix,” Hyunjin interrupted, the smirk on his face never faltering.

Felix glared at the demon, mustering as much hatred as he could.

“I summon you from the depths of hell and likewise bind you to me,” Felix answered finally.

“Exactly,” Hyunjin replied. “But she didn’t know!” Felix countered as the demon moved from the foot of the bed. “She was just reading it! She thought it was gibberish!”

Hyunjin turned to look at Felix, now standing beside your sleeping form. “Gibberish? How could she possibly think it was gibberish?” he asked. “Because she doesn’t understand Korean. She can speak the words and read them but she doesn’t know what they mean unless I tell her,” Felix explained as Hyunjin walked back over. 

“Are you being facetious?” the demon asked. Felix shook his head vigorously.

“I’m not.”

Hyunjin let out a sigh and stood up straight. “Regardless,” he started. “I was summoned. I have to complete the ritual.” Felix struggled against his restraints as the demon moved to your side of the bed. “Stop it please! Stop!” Felix pleaded. Hyunjin held up his hand.

“Shhh,” he whispered. “You’ll wake her.” ‘That’s it! Wake her up!’ 

Felix opened his mouth to call out to you. To wake you up but Hyunjin was on him in seconds, taking Felix’s chin in his hand. “Do it and I’ll gut you then I’ll snap her neck” he warned his voice deep and demonic. Felix’s eyes widened and he nodded silently.

Hyunjin let go of Felix and returned to the bed, sitting beside your sleeping form once again. “Y/N,” he said softly. Felix watched in horror as the demon gently brushed his fingers along your arm. “Y/N, sweetheart,” he continued and it dawned on Felix that Hyunjin was speaking in his voice. Felix’s own voice was coming out of the demon.

You murmured in your sleep, rolling onto your back, one hand resting on your stomach and the other falling onto Felix’s empty space. “Y/N,” Hyunjin repeated in Felix’s stolen voice. “Baby.” Felix felt his blood boil as Hyunjin’s hand cupped your cheek. “Get your hands off of her!” Felix snapped.

Hyunjin looked up, red irises glowing as he glared at Felix. “I warned you once,” he said darkly. “Don’t make me do it again.” Felix felt a cold shiver run up his spine. Something in the demon’s voice made him freeze up. “I won’t hesitate to snap her neck,” he threatened.

“So stop talking.”

Felix nodded, looking from the demon’s eyes to your sleeping form.

You tried to open your eyes but your lids were too heavy. You weren’t sure what woke you until you felt a hand on your cheek. “Y/N?” you heard Felix’s voice. “Y/N, sweetheart,” he said again. You murmured, uncertain of the words leaving your lips. You heard a chuckle. “Shh,” you heard Felix say again.

“Felix,” you finally whined as you felt the sheets being pulled back. “I’m right here,” you heard him whisper, feeling his hand moving up your thigh to your hip, pushing your sleep shirt up past your hip. “Mmh, Felix,” you mumbled as his hand moved back down, dipping between your thighs.

“Oh shit,” you gasped, back arching as your fingers dug into the sheets. “Shh,” your boyfriend whispered again. “Let me take care of you.”

You felt his fingers push your panties aside, teasing your entrance, parting your lips and finding your clit. You let out a moan as he drew slow circles on your clit. “That’s it,” you heard him coo. “Part your legs for me.” You did as he asked, spreading your thighs. “Good girl,” you heard him purr. “So good for me. So obedient.”

Your lips parted in a moan as you felt his fingers sink into your heat. “Oh fuck,” he groaned, slowly pumping his fingers in an out of your cunt. “I can’t wait to be inside you,” you heard him whisper in your ear, his breath hot and heavy against your skin. “You want that?” he asked, chuckling softly as your walls clenched around his fingers. “Yes,” you breathed, tongue darting out to lick your lips.

You felt his lips connect with yours, moaning into his mouth as you felt his fingers curl upwards. “F-Felix,” you moaned, one of your hands moving to grab his wrist as he sped up his movements, thumb rubbing against your clit in time with the thrust and curl of his fingers inside you. “I’m gonna--” you gasped, thighs twitching as your orgasm approached.

“I know,” he replied. “So do it,” you heard your boyfriend groan. “Cum for me, baby girl. Come on my fingers.” 

Your back arched, a high pitched moan leaving your lips as you came around your boyfriend’s fingers. You felt his fingers slow to a halt before he carefully removed them, leaving your walls clenching around nothing. “Good girl,” you heard his voice.

You felt the bed shift as he moved. “Lix?” you called out, eyes fluttering to open. You felt his breath hot against your core. “I’m right here, baby,” he replied, hands resting on your hips. “Keep those pretty thighs open for me.”

You relaxed, head falling back against the pillows as your eyes struggled to stay open. You let out a whimper as you felt his tongue against your clit, slow deliberate licks until his lips connected with your clit, softly suckling, teasing occasionally with his tongue. 

Your body shuddered, sensitive after your first intense orgasm. The slight burn only added to the pleasure as your boyfriend continued to toy with your clit, bringing you to the brink only to pull back at the last second, leaving you teetering on the edge.

“Felix, please,” you whined. “Please let me cum.” 

You felt him chuckle against you. “Only because you asked so nicely, baby,” he murmured. Your hand moved, fingers threading through his hair as his tongue moved against your clit, each flick bringing you closer and closer until you finally came with a mewl, thighs threatening to close on your boyfriend’s head, but he managed to keep them open, allowing you to ride out your high until your body shuddered from sensitivity.

“Lixie, please,” you whined. You felt him press light kisses along the inside of your thighs, giggling when he playfully nipped at your skin. “That tickles,” you breathed. You felt the bed shift, Felix kissing up your hip, playfully sinking his teeth into your skin before continuing kissing up your body and the side of your neck. “God you’re so pretty,” you heard him whisper in your ear.

“Felix,” you giggled as his hands skimmed over your body, leaving goosebumps in their wake. You felt him smile against the skin of your cheek, breath fanning over your ear. “Crazy thing actually,” he said softly. 

“I’m not Felix.”

Your eyes snapped open. The first thing to greet you was the red lighting of the room. It was your room but it also wasn’t. You gasped as the man on top of you lifted his head and you finally got a look at his face. He was handsome, extremely so with plush peach lips and shoulder length blond hair. His red irises burned into your eyes and you found it hard to look away.

“Hello there,” he said, his voice no longer masked by your boyfriend’s voice. “What the f--” you started but he pressed a finger to your lips, effectively silencing you. “Shh,” he said softly. He pulled his hand back, replacing it with his lips. You pulled back. “What’s going on?” you asked.

“Who are you?”

He smiled, tilting his head as he studied your face, before cupping your cheek. “I’m Hyunjin,” he answered, thumb stroking your cheek. “Where am I?” you asked, trying to sit up but his weight prevented you from moving. “You’re in your bed,” he replied. 

He turned his head to the side and you followed his line of sight where you saw a floor to ceiling mirror taking up most of the wall beside your closet. That definitely wasn’t in your room.

Your eyes widened as you looked at the mirror. The mirror clearly wasn’t reflecting what was happening around you. Instead, it was almost like a window to your room where you saw yourself sleeping peacefully in your bed, Felix beside you.

You turned your head back to look up at Hyunjin. “Is this a dream?” you asked and Hyunjin nodded slowly. “It is,” he confirmed before leaning down, pressing another kiss to your lips. “Doesn’t that make me a bad person? Dreaming about another man?” you asked, feeling your breath catch in your throat.

Hyunjin’s free hand had slipped between your bodies and was slowly dragging up and down your slit. “No,” he answered, shaking his head. “I’m merely a figment of your imagination, Y/N,” he explained. “When you wake up, you won’t even remember this.”

Your eyes fluttered shut as you felt Hyunjin’s fingers push into your cunt again, lips parting as you moaned. “Oh f-fuuuck,” you moaned, back arching. Hyunjin chuckled, dipping his head down to kiss down the side of your neck. “That’s it, pretty girl,” Hyunjin whispered in your ear.

“Don’t worry about anything else. Just listen to the sound of my voice.”

Felix glared at the demon hovering over you, his head was ducked, lips near your ear as he whispered. You were stirring in your sleep, whimpers and moans leaving your lips despite his hand not even leaving your cheek. “What are you doing to her?” Felix asked softly, knowing full well the demon could hear him.

Hyunjin pulled back and turned his head to look at him, his red irises glowing still.

“I can’t just physically take her,” Hyunjin explained. “I have to infiltrate her dreams first,” he added.

“Come on, Lix,” Hyunjin said with a smirk and Felix narrowed his eyes. “You’re a witch but you know all of this. This is amateur stuff.” Felix gritted his teeth as Hyunjin turned his attention back to you as you whispered a word. Felix felt his stomach drop.

You had whispered a name. Hyunjin’s name.

Felix felt a pang. A stab of betrayal but he couldn’t focus on that. He knew you were in some kind of trance. It wasn’t your fault.

“Perfect,” the demon said softly and moved his hand to grab the covers, pulling them back. “Don’t touch her, please,” Felix pleaded. Hyunjin ignored him, pulling the covers down to the foot of the bed. “Don’t touch her!” Felix hissed as Hyunjin slowly ran his hand up your leg.

“What are you gonna do?” Hyunjin asked, turning to look at Felix, a smirk on his lips. 

Felix struggled against his bonds as Hyunjin moved slowly, unbuttoning his top and shrugging it off. His skin seemed to have an aura to it and he glowed. Hyunjin’s hand moved to remove your shorts, pulling your underwear with them. “Please,” Felix begged, feeling his eyes burn as tears started to form.

Hyunjin scoffed as he discarded your clothes, pushing the hem of your shirt up to expose your chest adorned in soft pink lace that left little to the imagination. “She wear this specifically for you?” Hyunjin asked, turning to lock eyes with Felix who tried to free his hands.

His eyes widened as the sound of fabric tearing met his ears. Hyunjin had ripped the bralette down the center, exposing your breast. “Stop, please!” Felix sobbed, pulling violently at his bonds, his eyes squeezing shut as he struggled. He heard Hyunjin click his tongue. 

“Now, now,” the demon said mockingly. “You’re going to miss it if you aren’t watching.”

Felix opened his eyes to glare at the demon, his lashes wet with tears that had finally spilled, staining his red cheeks.

Hyunjin’s smirk widened. “Great. Now that I have your attention,” he said as he undid his belt and pulled it free, letting it fall to the floor with a clatter, hands moving to undo the button and zipper of his pants.

“Enjoy the show.”

“This feels so wrong,” you whispered as Hyunjin kissed down the valley of your chest. “Oh,” he said softly against your skin. “But it’s not real,” he reminded you. You let out a sigh, moaning as he sank his teeth into your skin. “Then why does it feel so real?” you gasped as he kissed his way back to your lips.

“Are you telling me you’ve never had dreams that felt real before?” he mused, not giving you a chance to answer as he took your lips in a messy, wet kiss, tongue moving against yours languidly. “No, I have,” you replied when he pulled away. “But they’ve never felt like this.”

Hyunjin chuckled, pushing his long tresses from his face as he knelt between your thighs. You hadn’t had the chance to notice until now that he was entirely nude. Your eyes traveled down his chest, taking note of his slim but toned body already glistening with a layer of sweat.

Before your eyes could continue past his navel, he clicked his tongue, almost in disapproval and you glanced back up to meet his gaze. “Didn’t your mother ever tell you that it’s rude to stare?” he asked teasingly. 

You felt your cheeks burn under his heated gaze as he chuckled, his hand moving to push your knees further apart, spreading you more for him. You glanced quickly down, your own body obscuring your view of his cock as he guided the tip to your entrance.

“And you promise this isn’t real?” you asked softly, causing him to look up from where your bodies were about to connect. He gave you a breathtaking smile and nodded. “I promise,” he replied softly.

“None of this is real,” he added before slowly pushing into you. You let out a gasp as his length glided easily into you, stretching you open yet you felt no pain. No sting that usually accompanied the stretch.

It was entirely unfamiliar yet familiar at the same time. It was different from how Felix felt. Hyunjin was bigger, not just in stature. “Relax,” Hyunjin whispered, moving one of his hands to your thigh, rubbing soothingly. “That’s it” he continued as he glided further.

“Relax and let me in.”

“So f-full,” you murmured as you felt Hyunjin bottom out. He chuckled, his hand moving from your hip up to gently grope your chest. Your walls fluttered around his cock, gripping him tightly. “Such a responsive slut,” he chuckled and you moaned loudly. 

Hyunjin gave you a couple slow thrusts, allowing you to feel every curve and ridge of his cock before he set a steady pace, pumping in and out of you at a torturously slow speed.

“Faster,” you gasped as you felt his thumb brush over your nipple. “Faster?” he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice. “Please,” you pleaded. “Want more. Need more.”

Hyunjin chuckled, his hand moving back down to your waist. “If that’s what you want,” he replied, picking up the pace, his hips hitting yours with each thrust.

Your back arched off the mattress, moaning wantonly. It wasn’t like you shared any walls with any neighbors and regardless, this was a dream anyway.

Felix watched Hyunjin parted your thighs. From his position, he couldn’t see much but the demon had you completely naked and spread out before him.

“Please,” Felix sobbed softly as he turned his gaze away. He could hear your soft moans and the thought of watching another man have you the way he had you, the thought of another man making love to you, had his stomach churning.

“You’re going to want to watch this,” Hyunjin called but Felix shook his head, refusing to look.

“Watch this or I’ll snap her neck,” the demon snapped, his deep gravelly voice enough to force Felix to look back. He could tell Hyunjin had bottomed out, cock shoved inside you. “Just stop please!” Felix cried.

“Why won’t you just leave us alone?”

The demon chuckled but punctuated it with a groan as he pulled back, hips snapping forward and driving his cock back into your walls. You let out a moan, eyes still shut as Hyunjin set a steady pace.

“She gave me permission, you know,” he heard the demon say and Felix glared at Hyunjin. 

“She’s asleep. How can she consent to this?” he growled, anger flooding his senses. Hyunjin chuckled, his hands moving to your hips and holding you in place as he continued you fucked you against the mattress.

“You like that, Y/N?” he asked, addressing you directly.

You moaned in response. “Words, sweetheart,” Hyunjin said, his voice steady and calm despite the way his hips moved. “Y-yes,” you choked out. Felix’s heart skipped a beat. ‘It’s not real. He has her under some sort of spell. She doesn’t know what’s going on!’ he told himself.

“She’s really enjoying herself,” Hyunjin said, addressing Felix now.

“Such a good little slut,” Hyunjin scoffed, giving you a harsh thrust, making you cry out. “Don’t hurt her!” Felix sobbed. “Please. Just… don’t hurt her,�� he repeated. The demon chuckled lowly but said nothing else, slowing his thrusts to a roll. Your moans came from the back of your throat, deep and almost guttural.

“Hyun-Hyunjin!” you gasped. Hearing you say another man’s name had Felix crying harder. He felt entirely powerless. He could do nothing but sit there and wait for the demon to finish having its way with you and leave. He could do nothing but watch.

He hated the demon. He hated Hyunjin. And most of all, he hated himself for bringing that book into the house. Had he known, he never would have brought it in. He would have left it in Hongjoong’s shop for eternity. When everything was said in done, he would have to return the book to the shop in the morning.

“Oh fuck,” he heard Hyunjin growl. “She’s so fucking tight,” he continued. “Are you even fucking her properly?” Hyunjin scoffed, his voice strained. Felix felt anger and jealousy bubble up in his chest.

How dare he imply Felix didn’t satisfy you. The two of you had always been honest and communicated about your sexual needs with one another and never once had you expressed anything other than satisfaction. You often praised his performance. 

You let out a small moan, almost a whimper of pleasure and it made Felix’s heart sink in his chest. He hung his head, silent tears falling from his eyes onto the material of his gray sweats. ‘Please let this end.’

“Fuck you feel so good,” Hyunjin murmured, slowing his hips and pulling from you. Letting out a whine, you reached for him, protesting as you felt him leaving your walls empty and aching for his cock to return. “Come here,” he said softly, grabbing your arm and gently but firmly pulling you up and flipping you over onto your stomach, facing the mirror.

He was behind you, pushing your knees apart with his own and guiding the head of his cock back to your waiting hole. You moaned as he slipped back in easily, his hips meeting your ass as he buried himself balls deep inside you. “Hyunjin,” you gasped.

He leaned over your back, keeping himself propped up as he wrapped his arm around your chest and resumed thrusting into you, the new angle allowing his cock to hit deeper and making you cry out. “Oh sweetheart,” he panted in your ear. “I’m gonna have you screaming by the end of the night,” he murmured before throwing all caution out the window. 

Your fingers dug into the sheets under you as he pounded into you, the sound of skin on skin filling the room but not covering the sounds of your whimpers and moans.

Your mind went blank, almost numb as all thoughts left your mind and the only thing you could focus on was the mounting pleasure in the pit of your stomach and the flexing of Hyunjin’s muscles around you as he tightened his hold on you, hips slamming against your ass. Your moans and cries growing in pitch. 

“That’s it,” Hyunjin grunted in your ear, his voice dropping an octave. “Scream for me. Say my name.”

“H-Hyunjin,” you sobbed, your body writhing under him from the intensity of the pleasure coursing through your veins. “Louder,” he ordered. “Scream it.” You cried out his name as he rammed all of his length into you at once, driving the head of his cock as far as he could and you swore you felt it in your stomach. ‘Is it bigger than it was a minute ago?’ You were sure he wasn’t that big before.

“What’s the matter, baby? Cat got your tongue?”

You moaned, head lolling as he thrust into you harder. “Am I fucking you that good? Has your mind gone completely blank?” You moaned in response, eyes fluttering shut as your walls spasmed around his cock, gripping him tightly.

“Fuck, keep squeezing my cock like that and I’ll cum,” Hyunjin growled in your ear. “You want that, don’t you? Want me to fill this pretty cunt with my cum.” Your walls clenched around his cock again and his hand moved up, taking your jaw in his hand. 

“Open your eyes, slut,” he growled. Your eyes fluttered open. The reflection in the mirror had changed. You were looking at yourself. Facing yourself with Hyunjin behind you, his red irises glowing in the dark and burning into yours.

His appearance in the mirror had changed slightly. Half of his blond hair was pulled up into a ponytail and two black horns were protruding from his forehead, curving back over his head and the tips curling inward on themselves. Your eyes widened. What the fuck were you seeing? Was this still a dream or was this real? The line between dream and reality had blurred and you couldn’t tell anymore.

“What are--” Hyunjin tightened his grip, holding your jaw in place. His sharp, pointed nails digging slightly into your skin. “Stop talking,” he growled. “Just lay there and take it like the whore you are.” Your walls clenched around his cock at the degrading name he hurled at you.

“Look at you,” he chuckled lowly. “So desperate to get fucked you’d let any man have you, isn’t that right?” he asked. ‘No,’ you thought. ‘That isn’t true.’ The truth was that you only wanted Felix. You only wanted your boyfriend. Even with this stranger fucking you in your dreams, you wanted Felix.

“No,” you answered, trying to shake your head but the demon’s grip was too strong. “I wasn’t asking you, slut,” he scoffed. You met his burning gaze in the mirror. ‘Not asking me?’ you wondered. ‘Who could he possibly be talking to?’ It was then you noticed something else just on the edge of the reflection.

A body sitting in the chair in the corner of the room. Your eyes widened. ‘Felix?’ It was indeed your boyfriend. His head hung in shame, wrists bound to the arms of the chair and his ankles likewise bound to the legs of the chair. “F-Fe-lix?” you stammered. At the sound of your voice, your boyfriend raised his head, eyes meeting yours in the mirror.

“No,” Hyunjin growled. With one final thrust, your eyes rolled back as your orgasm hit you. You felt Hyunjin tense on top of you, his own orgasm washing over him as he released inside you. You could feel the warm gush of cum enter your cunt and the stalling of Hyunjin’s hips as he buried his cock inside you before everything went black.

Felix woke with a start, sitting up and crying out.

It was morning. He looked around quickly, eyes scanning the room but he saw no sign of the demon Hyunjin nor did he see any sign of you. He glanced down and noticed he was naked. He looked around for his clothes. 

‘What the fuck happened last night?’ he wondered as he turned, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and leaning forward, resting his elbows on his thighs as he covered his face with his hands. He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, not enough to hurt but enough that the blackness of his vision was littered with stars.

He finally pulled his hands from his face and sat up straight, inhaling deeply before letting it out. His clothes were on the floor beside the bed and he snatched them quickly, pulling on his sweats and then the shirt. He made his way over to the door, turning the knob and opening the door.

He was greeted by the sound of sizzling and the smell of bacon. He allowed his feet to carry him into the hall and to the top of the stairs where he heard soft voices and your light laughter. He hurried down the steps and turned around the railing to enter the living room.

In the kitchen, you stood at the range, cooking breakfast. You looked up, smiling as you met his gaze.

“Well good morning, sunshine,” you said as he stood in the doorway. “We have a visitor,” you continued, nodding towards a figure sitting at the table, hidden from Felix’s view with a newspaper. Felix murmured an apology as he walked into the kitchen, scratching the back of his head as he moved around the counter and over to where you stood, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“Morning,” he murmured and moved to pour himself a cup of coffee, preparing it the way he liked before he sat at the table across from the figure. You moved to set a plate of food in front of Felix, a spatula in one hand and donning your pink apron. 

“You didn’t tell me your cousin was coming to visit,” you said, lighting patting his shoulder as Felix picked up his fork. His eyes widened as you turned away and headed back into the kitchen. Felix turned his gaze from your figure to the newspaper before him. ‘I don’t have a cousin.’

You prepared another plate and walked over to set it in front of the guest. “Oh,” he said with a chuckle. “Thank you,” he added in an all too familiar voice.

A voice Felix thought had been part of the horrible nightmare he’d experienced.

He watched in horror as the newspaper lowered and the familiar face of Hyunjin appeared with a smile. “It’s just like Felix to forget to mention me,” he said as you moved back to load the last plate and take a seat between Felix and the demon now sitting at his dinner table, enjoying a breakfast cooked by you, his loving girlfriend.

How did you not recognize Hyunjin after last night? Did you forget everything? If the oblivious smile on your lips was anything to go by, Felix could assume you’d forgotten the events of last night.

“We had a rough night last night,” you said, turning your gaze on your boyfriend and smiling at him sweetly. “I hope he wasn’t too rough on you,” Hyunjin joked and Felix watched the way you inhaled a sip of your water and started coughing. 

Before he could react, Felix watched with a mix of anger and jealousy as Hyunjin leaned forward and patted your back firmly, a look of concern crossing his features. “Are you alright, Y/N?” he asked. “I’m sorry,” he continued. “That was inappropriate of me.” You shook your head, taking another sip of water. “No, it’s okay,” you said, waving your hand.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Felix’s knuckles turned white, his grip on his fork handle tight as he tried to decide whether he should eat or stab Hyunjin in the neck. “I’m also sorry for dropping in like this,” Hyunjin explained. “Unannounced. It’s just that I’m passing through and haven't seen my dear cousin in so long.” Felix narrowed his eyes at the demon, wanting to smack that smug grin off his face.

You smiled kindly at Hyunjin. “Well you’re more than welcome to stay with us for a few days,” you offered and Felix felt his heart sink, his stomach dropping simultaneously as he looked from you to Hyunjin who was already looking at Felix. “That’s so kind of you,” Hyunjin replied, staring directly at Felix, his red irises burning into the latter’s eyes, holding his gaze.

“I think I’m really going to enjoy your hospitality.”

ⓘ Graphics made by me. Content and support banners made using a template by cafekitsune. I do not allow reposts, translations, or continuations of my works. All writing and graphics are ©️ kwanisms.

[stu-dyingstudent]

Sakura Haruno fic recs: ANBU

AHHHH!!!! I love ANBU fics, especially when they involve Sakura. It was such a cool concept, which was unfortunately never fully expanded upon. However, our lack of knowledge regarding the shadow corps allows for some really cool fic ideas since authors can take creative liberty on the structure and workings of the division.

In my opinion, Sakura had the most potential out of team 7 to join ANBU (at least more than Naruto). It's all about being discreet and efficient and although she wasn't strong during og, she possessed abilities that would be valuable for this. Her clever mind, chakra control, and genjutsu potential would've made her a good fit. Naruto was too flamboyant and Sasuke was too reckless and cocky, but this is just my take. However, with her new skill set from her training with Tsunade, I don't think she would be able to go down that path anymore.

Started: 2024.08.06

Last Updated: 2024.08.29

note: feel free to check out my master list which has a bunch of Sakura Haruno fic recs (all organized)!

----

Masks by mads999 || ao3 || kakasaku || E || canon divergent || complete

1. Sakura's Inner is far more diabolical than anyone ever expected 2. Crows prove to be cruel mentors 3. Sakura comes to learn exactly how much she hates Kakashi (as well as how alike they are, in the most terrible of ways)

Kakashi is a hateful turd and Sakura is spiteful! I hate this ship and I'm not a big fan of Kakashi here, but boy is this fic good. One of the best character developments I've read for Sakura and she certainly becomes of force to be reconned with. The ANBU lore in Masks is absolutely phenomenal and I love the whole system that is put into place as it adds for some drama (lol). Also, can we talk about how awesome crow summons are????

.

Five Kingdoms for the Dead - Evil Is A Relative Term || ffn || M || canon divergence || complete

After the Forest of Death, Sakura comes to realize that being weak is no longer an option. However, she finds that change is sometimes painful and that truth doesn't always come easy. Luckily, she'll have some help along the way.

It's been a while since I've read Five Kingdoms for the Dead, but I just remember it being absolutely great! I'll be honest, I found a lot of the mind stuff pretty confusing at times, but it was still enjoyable. Also, some great characters are utilized in this fic such as Neji, Sai, and Itachi. Makes me really wish that we saw more of Sakura and Neji working together in Naruto since I think they compliment each other quite well.

.

Trials of Change - Espoiretreves || ao3 || gen || time travel AU || complete

Haruno Sakura made a promise. Looking in the eyes of her Shisou and the reanimated Hokage, she took on the most important mission of her life. Go back in time and try to prevent the 4th Shinobi War. Now, Sakura is back to her 5-year-old body, with all the knowledge and haunting memories of the future. She vows to keep her precious people safe and stop certain events from happening, without altering the timeline too much. The trials her emotions and logic put her through have her questioning her very existence, but for the sake of peace, she has to push forward. No matter what.

Trials of Change is actually apart of a time travel series and I have to say that it is probably one of the best of the genre! Now, Sakura is not in ANBU here, but she works very closely with team Ro (Kakashi's ANBU team) and it's a huge part of the story, so I'm choosing to count it anyway. I really adore all of the worldbuilding and backstories going on here in addition to the fact that there are breaks. Yes, the story keeps moving, but there are other things going on, like playdates, and not just Sakura trying to save the world. Also, if you love Shisui then definitely check this out since he has a huge role and his and Sakura's friendship is just so precious.

.

bite me and see, said the fly to the spider - MirrorImage003 || ao3 || itasaku || T || non-massacre AU || ongoing

In which Sakura is not initially a part of Team 7. In which she wears her failures like armor and brandishes her fears like her most trusted weapons. In which I do what hundreds of other authors have done before me, and rewrite Sakura's story. Non-massacre AU. Canon Divergent. Slow-burn.

After Sakura's first team, consisting of the graduating class's "expendables," dies, she joins team 7 and faces backlash along her shinobi journey. Sakura doesn't join ANBU until the later chapters so fair warning that there isn't too much content in that regards (unless it updates). Nonetheless, Sakura views ANBU as vital to her career as it offers her the highest clearance she can get. Gaining her opportunities for information her civilian-born status didn't allow her privy to.

.

The Sixth Shadow - thinknicht || ao3 || kakasaku || M || canon divergent - eventual time travel AU || ongoing

No one seemed to find it odd when little Haruno Sakura threw herself smack dab in front of a Chidori and Rasengan. Not even Kakashi stopped to wonder.(He really should have.)

The story of how Sakura came to be the sixth hogake despite all of the challenges thrown her way. I especially love Sakura's drive in addition to the political aspects. However, be warned that Kakashi is an absolute HATER (in the beginning), but he gets better! The Sixth Shadow is extremely long and I only just recently got to Sakura's introduction to ANBU, so I can't say too much in that regard.

.

Daughter of Fire - justjstuff || ao3 || kakasaku || E || canon divergence || incomplete (maybe ongoing)

Sakura got up and didn’t bother brushing the dirt from her dress. She had a feeling she was about to get even dirtier.She looked at the memorial stone one last time, memorizing the characters without even realizing she was doing it. It would serve from that moment on as a reminder of her determination. She wouldn’t let Naruto and Sasuke join the names carved on that stone.That was her nindo.

Sakura's growth throughout Daughter of Fire is great and realistic all while pointing out aspects from the original series which were flawed and dare I say misogynistic. I struggled a bit in the beginning to justify her abilities, but overall the story is really well done and the ANBU aspects are quite intriguing.

.

cut the head off the snake - itsthechocopuff || ao3 || T || time travel AU || complete

when eighteen-year-old, post-war Sakura is thrown back into her tiny, pre-Academy body, she makes a decision. she'd had a childhood once already, and this time, she's more interested in Not Dying when the inevitable shit hits the proverbial fan. so she will work harder, care less, kill more, and smile when she's done.and hey, if she ends up reviving an extinct nature transformation to attract the most corrupt, power-hungry man from her timeline, all the better for her, right?

Such a unique take on a time travel AU and Cut the Head Off the Snake executes it perfectly. Sakura decides that her first order of business is to infiltrate ROOT and that's exactly what she does. Sai, Shin, and Shisui are all great characters and team Ro is present as well. Very good!

.

Flowers - Idunmy || ao3 || E || kakasaku || canon divergence || ongoing

Flowers only bloom just before they wilt When Sakura loses her fight against Ino in her Chuunin exams, she questions her ability to ever become a kunoichi, too weak to protect herself, let alone her village One wrongful promotion later and Sakura gets a second chance in the shape of a mysterious new teacher who against all odds is willing to put her faith in a young girl with potential and a willingness to fight. Or- a fix-it inspired fic where Sakura grows to be the powerhouse she was destined to become.

Flowers is a newer series (which has recent updates) and I love it! Critiques are made towards the medical ninja training, which I believe needed to be discussed and it's refreshing to see. In most ANBU fics I've read, Sakura is immediately put onto the strongest team, but here it's a bit different. She begins on a demolition squad, which not only suits her skill set quite well, but is a realistic approach to how she would be introduced to the corps. Anyway, it's one of my favorite reads at the moment and I really like where the story is going.

.

names. - waterpllar || ao3 || T || gen || canon divergence || complete

There are no names or faces in ANBU. Everything is designed to be strictly formal, efficient and professional. A recently orphaned Sakura, however, learns that some regulations aren't meant to be followed, and finds a place in Team Ro after being shunned from her former teammates. (fic prompt from anon on tumblr: orphaned sakura in anbu with yamato, genma, and team ro.)

AHHHH poor Sakura. After her parents' death Sakura seeks Tsunade's help out of desperation to become useful. Under recommendation, Sakura's new goal is to make it into ANBU.

.

Equinox - FM_White || ao3 || itasaku || M || anbu AU || complete

ItaSaku (Post Uchiha Massacre) AU: Climbing through the ranks of Konoha, Sakura finds herself with the invitation to join ANBU and a chance to learn from one of the most renowned and legendary ninja in the world. Despite her efforts to grow stronger however, she finds the world isn't as black and white as it looks and that some truths are easier to hide than others.

I don't remember Equinox very well, but I love most works by this author sooo. Anyway, Itachi stays in Konoha and instead it's Sasuke that goes rougue. Sakura, Naruto, and Shikamaru are newly joined ANBU members and all placed on a team with Itachi and things go from there.

.

stars in our eyes as we dream of the heavens (the gods walk among us, sweet child, do not forget) - snickiebear || ao3 || kakasaku || T || age-swap AU || oneshot complete

“Kakashi-sensei,” Naruto whispered, staring at his teacher, horror plain on his face. “You’re married?” Lazily, Kakashi looked down at his gloveless hand where his ring rested, “It would appear so.”

Sakura is born in the same generation as Kakashi and turns out as a badass ANBU married to him. This is super wholesome as it's a lot of the two of them bonding with Kakashi's genin team (Sai makes three) in an effort to help them out. It's a series so you can read more of the events taking place prior to the fic.

.

Anachronistic Drift  - Elesrea  || ffn || gen || T || time travel AU || incomplete

Her plan was flawless. Save Shisui. Save the world. Time-travel, Sakura-centric AU

Sakura spends years training to be sent back in time and save the world from Sasuke. She isn't in ANBU, but rather poses as one in order to keep an anonymous status on her doings both in and out of the village.

.

Sakura - lilac haze || ffn/ao3 || M || minasaku || time travel AU || complete

AU. Non-Canon. Time Travel. Please see inside for full warnings. Cross posted on Ao3. On his deathbed he was granted eternal peace and place to rest for all of time. Of course that was not appealing to him. Ever unpredictable to the end he had a counter offer. One that the Sage had to consider. In which Sakura's going to have a rough time. A really rough time.

Sakura is probably one of my all time favorite fics because the emotions are just spectacular. The story is pretty heavy on ANBU and ROOT aspects, which I always enjoy, but I wouldn't say it's a major focus. However, there is an emphasis on the unfair treatment towards kunoichi. Anyway, the characterizations and storytelling are beautifully done. Please share this author some love.

Check TWs before hand!!

----

Hope y'all enjoy these recs, and please feel free to send me some if you have any!!!! I really appreciate when you do :)

[nalyra-dreaming]

"Let me know if you want to know more :))" If it's not asking much, yes, please?! I really know little to nothing about the books. I see what people post here, like, I didn't know about Rose and only found out about Viktor this week lol. Unfortunately the books aren't always available in my country and I'm still waiting to buy and read them. D:

Okay, for a rundown:)))

In the books:

Lestat finds Louis again through the rockstar career, and he writes his own story down for him, which Louis reads. Their reunion is quite beautiful, Louis and Gabrielle fight other vampires side by side with Lestat. There is a kiss backstage :)

Unfortunately Akasha kidnaps Lestat, because she thinks he is the epitome of toxic masculinity and that she can use him for her plan to take over the world (literally), burning a lot of the vampires. It’s a misjudgment though, Lestat is fearful of her killing the ones he loves, but starts to resist her ever more (she forces him to do her bidding via spells at times). Louis, Gabrielle reunite with all the others to hear the history behind Akasha and ultimately they meet up with her and Lestat, ending in Akasha‘s death. Louis and Lestat have a very romantic scene together.

Afterwards Lestat is changed though, battling with the event. He got a huge amount of blood from her, because she wanted him strong, and he experiences severe body dysmorphia and self hatred. Louis and he are in a weird “Netflix and chill“ era, visiting each other regularly, watching movies together, being petty with each other. Lestat’s guilt and that self hatred drive him to suicide, but he is too strong already to burn in the sun and he heals to retain a tan (only). The Body Thief sees his chance and offers him a mortal body for a while, and Lestat takes it. The Body Thief does not return his body though and so Lestat tries to bring Louis to turn him again but Louis refuses (very emotional scene). Louis tells Lestat to live that mortal life and Lestat has to turn to others (David in the book here maybe Daniel?!) to get his body back bc he realizes that he does want to be a vampire (after all). He manages, and there is a very beautiful but very raw scene with Louis in a church afterwards. Lestat tries to convince himself he is evil (for wanting that vampiric life back) and rapes David into darkness just as he was raped into it. All through the book Claudia‘s ghost is there and speaks with him. Lestat has Rue Royale fixed up and he and Louis (and David) live there again.

A while later a being claiming to be the Devil visits Lestat - he wants his help, and takes his soul onto a journey beyond (it is later confirmed that Lestat was gone from this plane of existence) and the events with heaven, hell, purgatory and Lestat drinking the blood of Christ (literally) shatter him. He loses an eye in purgatory, which is returned to him, altered. He goes a bit mad, confined to a church, where Louis and a few others tend to him. Louis comes by regularly to read to him, change clothes, etc. Lestat falls into a sleep.

Lestat’s coma continues, but it is involuntary at times. As he later tells it the altered eye allowed angels to take his soul to do their bidding, while threatening him. The unpublished novel at Tulane tells of one of those adventures. Lestat’s coma is hard on Louis. He is haunted by the fact that he has never seen Claudia’s ghost and with the help of Merrick, a witch, they conjure her, an event for which the diary pages are important. Claudia’s ghost is a vengeful one though, hating him, and he tries to commit suicide after. Lestat wakes up and saves him. They reunite and exchange a lot of blood and afterwards Louis is changed a lot. They leave NOLA because the Talamasca threaten them.

Something not closer defined happens while they are in the jungles, and Louis goes to Armand in NYC, where he is safe from the ever multiplying vampires. They spend some time apart, Lestat roaming, Louis with Armand, both coming to terms with who they are now. This is when Rose needing help must have happened. When Viktor was conceived and raised.

Another burning is happening - the spirit that propels them is clming to consciousness: Amel. It uses older vampires to thin out the ranks. Lestat is called and finally returns from his wanderings, and he defeats an elder and takes the core, effectively becoming the prince of the vampires. He and Louis meet, Rose, Viktor and first trouble with Roshamandes happens.

Amel is coming further to consciousness, recalling the being he was, once. Recalling who he was with, too. Lestat sets up court in his old family castle, now renovated. All big players come. Lestat goes to Louis and Louis comes to him - for good, with a very emotional plea. They are together for good after. Amel need to be removed fromthe vampires and Lestat, he gets a cloned body. Louis comes up with the solution, and holds Lestat’s hand through it.

Roshamandes, the ancient slighted bc he did not get the core is outfor revenge tjough, and kidnaps Gabrielle, Louis and Marius, sending ashes to Lestat. Lestat… shuts down. Armand goes feral (in words, incredible scene!!).

Lestat goes to Roshamandes in an all-or-nothing move and kills him, creating the “Blood Communion“ with the remains. Louis and the others are found, and Lestat can finally breathe again There is a big celebration, and the book literally closes with them dancing and kissing and Lestat telling Louis he loves him and always had.

______

This is the rundown :)

As you can imagine there is a LOT the show can do with this. In the books they kiss, the show has added sex, and so I expect some scenes to be a lot more sexy :) Louis is a lot more involved in the later arcs, his and Lestat‘s arcs are inverted. When they finally come together (for good) once more they are at peace with each other.

They have a son, and a daughter, their friends are with them. Former loves, too.

They have left their human pains behind, have accepted themselves as vampires.

Louis calls it the “monarchy of darkness“ in the unpublished draft at Tulane, and knowing Rolin knows of those drafts… I do expect this on the show :)

Obviously some of this will be spun differently. Has already been used, and/or used differently. But I expect to see the Body Thief parts, definitely. Akasha and the aftermath. And we know we’re getting the rockstar era :))

I think the show has already hinted at Amel, and so I do think they’ll finish with that arc :)))

We‘ll see. Since the relationship in the show is deliberately more explicit I think a lot of the canon events will be a LOT more intimate. It’s not about sex for them.

It’s about eternity and acceptance, both self acceptance and acceptance of the other.

And I cannot wait to see what the show makes of it.

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

I absolutely love your story’s!

What about one where the reader is has the tendency to just ignore their own emotions? Especially the negative ones. Like they’ll just pretend and act like they don’t exist until it’s some random Tuesday and they’re trying to stop crying in the kitchen cause they did something really small and stupid but it just happened to be the last thing they could take before being forced to cry? If it’s Donna’s emotions they try to be comforting and understanding, trying to encourage her to reach out for comfort and support and it’s just the exact opposite when it comes to their own emotions lol

Yesss!!! Here it is!!! Thank you for your request!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes :)))

Emotions

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Fluff, hurt/comfort, mentions of depression,angst, mental health problems...

Word count: 3,931

Summary: You were not able to say what you feel, and it was getting worse

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!! Oh, well, just a reminder: if you feel sad, talk to someone, look for help, in this world there are a lot of amazing people wanting to help you :))) Requests are open!! I love you all!!!

You opened your eyes. It was just another day.

You could say that you had been lucky in life. Your family was never rich. It was never more than just one more in the village. Nothing special, nothing remarkable. Get up, work, pray to Mother Miranda and so on constantly.

Why could a routine like that be called luck? Very simple, you found a way to get out of that monotonous and boring life.

You probably wouldn't have been so lucky if you had approached the Beneviento estate that cold winter day.

Meeting Donna was a refreshing change, the discovery that the Lords were also human.

Monster, psychopath and reclusive. Those were the names the villagers referred to her by. You had no way of knowing if it was true or not. You feared her like the others, until you met her.

She was a woman with problems, mysterious, shy, and above all, very far from the concept of monster. It was almost like looking at yourself in a mirror: emotional problems, real rejection of any human relationship. That two antisocial people like you, soon could not live without each other was curious.

How you fell in love didn't matter, it was just fate, or so you thought, or so you liked to think.

Your new life was much better than the previous one, but, just as they told you when you were a little girl: when you try to run away from your problems, you take them with you.

A truth that was difficult for you to understand, due to the feeling of being happy with the woman you loved. The ghosts of your own tribulations appeared to torment you soon.

You were never particularly good when it came to understanding your own emotions. Pain, sadness, anger... Everything that your mind considered as something negative, as something that could prevent people from appreciating you, loving you, were always hidden in a dark corner of your feelings. If you hid them, you couldn't feel them. Or so you thought.

Perhaps that constant joy and the apparent desire to live and enjoy the moment were what caught Lady Beneviento's attention. A wandering soul, with its own emotional problems, could find light in someone like you, in someone who, apparently, didn’t suffer, didn’t hate; someone who was happy, even if it was just a facade.

With a sigh, you sat up, letting your feet dangle over the edge of the bed. You were alone, Donna wasn't sleeping next to you and you wondered why you didn't miss her, or why you didn't need to seek some comfort in her arms. You still denied to yourself that you were going through a bad time, an existential crisis and the negative feelings that were taking up more and more space in your mind.

“Angie, where is Donna?” You asked the doll, who remained next to you, as if she could know that there was something wrong with you, that something was going through your head, torturing you.

“She's gone to take a shower,” the puppet answered, studying your expressionless look, that serene look that you naturally forced yourself. You were so used to doing it that it didn't even take any effort.

“She hasn't woken me up?” You asked, rubbing your eyes. Why hadn't she woken you up? Didn't she want to have to put up with you? Why?

Again paranoia and fear took over your thoughts.

Angie simply shrugged, getting off the bed and leaving the room.

No, you couldn't think that somehow you were to blame. You were always happy. In front of her you were always happy. Was she ignoring you? It was very unlikely, but your thoughts were far from reality.

After staring at the wooden floor for longer than you'd like, you got out of bed, looking at yourself in a mirror. Smile: ready, tears: hidden.

You walked through the dark hallways, listening to the characteristic noise of a shower. At least Donna was there. Why were you thinking that she had left you or something? You hadn't done anything for it. That depressive state you had been living in lately was getting worse and worse.

“Donna?” You asked, opening the bathroom door.

There was no response, just a sob.

The woman you loved was there, but she was not well. Her body was curled up under the water. Poor Donna had suffered another crisis and you hadn't even noticed. Once again, you had to put aside your own problems. She needed you. She needed the cheerful and understanding (Y/N). It's not like you needed her comfort, or so you thought.

“Donna, my love...” You whispered, approaching the shower and crouching next to her sad body. “Honey, what's wrong?”

“(Y/N),” the doll maker sobbed, looking up a bit. “I… I don't…”

You sighed, kneeling next to her and letting her throw herself into your arms. The scratch marks on her skin betrayed a panic attack, one of the many that poor Donna frequently suffered.

“Hey, darling... Come on, calm down,” you whispered affectionately, turning off the tap and letting her body settle into yours. “Have you suffered another crisis?” You asked, with your clothes soaked, but without stopping hugging her.

She nodded embarrassedly, clutching the fabric of your nightgown.

How could a stupid existential crisis be more important than Donna's problems? You felt selfish, you felt like you were putting problems typical of a 22-year-old woman ahead of you, instead of hers, instead her own emotions that tended to get out of control.

At least she showed her emotions.

“Come on, that's it, honey. It's okay, I'm here with you, do you hear me? Nothing and no one can hurt you. Come on, Donna, stop crying...”

You hugged her silently, starting to feel cold because of your wet clothes. Donna cried inconsolably, for no reason other than the demons she was born with. How ironic. She cried for no reason and you, with more than one, were incapable of doing so.

“Come on, honey, let's shower and have breakfast, okay?” You said affectionately, to which she nodded erratically, letting herself be carried by your arms.

Most days were like this: a small crisis always solved by your eternal patience and then... Then the tranquility of that life full of love, silent gestures, kisses and caresses.

You didn't understand what exactly the reason for your regret was, but it became more and more present in your emotions. At least in the ones you wanted not to be seen.

The cold of winter washed over your body as you left the house, resting your cup of coffee on the porch railing. If it was winter… That meant you had been with Donna for at least a year. You were so happy that it barely seemed like a sigh, but repressing your sadness or your worries so much had taken its toll on you.

“(Y/N),” a soft voice interrupted your lost gaze towards infinity. Suddenly the cold became much more present. How long have you been out there?

Your expressionless face gave a fake smile, one that you were already an expert at.

“Donna,” you sighed, letting yourself be hugged from behind and closing your eyes. Her hugs were relaxing, calm, although your problems began to cloud the emotions you felt, the positive ones, the only ones you were capable of showing.

“What are you doing out here, tesoro? It's very cold,” she asked in a soft, tender tone, as if she hadn't just been crying uncontrollably in the shower a moment ago.

No, in no way you envied the ease with which Donna cried, showed her sorrows or her weaknesses. But you wondered how she could feel after having let out everything that tormented her, why she had no problem talking to you about the things that made her sad, that made her shake and lose her mind. Surely you had the real problem.

It was time to smile even wider.

“Oh, well,” you said, gently grabbing the hand around your waist. “This morning it was very difficult for me to get up,” you lied, letting her body sway yours slightly.

“I know, you were so pretty asleep that I didn't want to wake you up,” the woman in black whispered, kissing your cheek. There was certainly nothing to tell you that she had suffered a terrible crisis not long ago.

You laughed fakely knowing that, although you had wanted to get up, the invisible chains of your emotions prevented you from doing so. You wanted to never get up, to spend your life in the warm embrace of the sheets, where you wouldn't have to pretend, where maybe, just maybe, you could cry, you could be able to cry.

“Is there ever a time when you don't think I’m pretty?” You asked trying to joke with the naturalness you had learned to fake.

“Mmm,” Donna murmured, kissing your neck innocently, like she always did. “No”

You laughed, this time genuinely, letting your sadness and anguish camouflage themselves again with ease. Maybe it had just been a bad time, maybe you had the feeling of being sad when in reality you weren't, you never were.

If you had stopped to reflect, you would have realized that this was impossible.

Time continued to pass and your desire to get out of bed decreased more and more. There was something inside you that was dying to come out, but you were unable to know what it was, unable to seek comfort that you yourself didn't think you needed.

And so another week passed. Tuesday the 24th, that's what it said on an old calendar. You and Donna were happy. That weird feeling had was nothing to do with her, but everything to do with you. Sadness turned into anguish, anguish from not knowing what to do with those negative emotions, from not being able to express them properly. The smile and your apparently calm and happy attitude were still the protagonists of your life.

“Do you like it?” Donna asked, unsure as always that her food wasn't good enough for you.

The day had started like many others, but, for some reason, that pressure you felt in your chest had grown out of proportion.

“Well, of course, you know I love the way you cook, Donna,” you said with a tender smile, oblivious to the pressure you felt in your body.

She smiled and lowered her head, embarrassingly pleased. You looked at her for a moment and continued eating.

“Oh...” you said when you went to get the jug of water that was always on the table. “I forgot to get water,” you said, without giving it importance but with a knot in your stomach. What was happening to you?

“It's okay, honey, I'll go down and get it,” Donna said softly, wiping herself with a napkin.

“No!” You shouted, without knowing why, making her turn the head sharply towards you, her eye wide open. “I... I... I'll go down, it's my fault,” you said to try to fix that shock that came out of nowhere.

“Don't worry, tesoro. We all make mistakes," she said, with an understanding smile.

You tried to control your breathing. You were nervous, upset about something.

“Yeah, but I make them more than anyone else,” you whispered, as if the truth, a truth that was tormenting your mind, suddenly left your lips.

“What? Why do you say so?” Donna asked, with an air of concern as you walked past her. Her hand stopped you, settling on your arm. You shook your head, not quite sure why your throat was stinging.

“Oh, no, it's nothing, Donna. It was just a joke,” you said, taking a deep breath and flashing a sincere smile, heading to the elevator.

You walked slowly through the dark hallways, aware that something inside you was dying to come out.

“Okay...” You murmured, placing the jug under the faucet. The solitude of that kitchen gave you a contradictory feeling of tranquility and melancholy.

You were thirsty, so before lifting the jug you poured yourself a glass, with the bad luck that your thoughts distracted you enough for the liquid to overflow.

“Oh, shit,” you protested, pushing the jug away, which made it even worse, causing your clothes to become soaked with the liquid of life. “Fuck!”

You screeched, making your voice bounce off the rickety walls of the old kitchen.

“Fuck!” You screamed again, hitting the counter with your fist, hurting yourself.

It seemed stupid, but suddenly the burning in your throat increased to such a point that an unfamiliar moisture began to be felt in your eyes.

After so much time, so much repression, empty mornings and strange thoughts… Finally, you were crying.

The reason? You didn't know specifically.

You were happy. Your life was going well. Donna was a sweetheart despite her problems. She loved you, you loved her. No, Donna Beneviento was not the problem. You were the problem.

All your life you had been wondering what you contributed to the world, what the meaning of your life was. You never knew how to answer. Why did you live in that village? What would have happened if you had been born somewhere else? Would you have been happier? Would your life have been better, or worse? What would your life have been like if you had never met Donna?

They seemed like stupid questions, which came to light with the simple act of spilling a glass of water. Maybe that's what was happening to you. Negative emotions filled your soul, until, like that water, they ended up overflowing.

What was it that made you special? What virtues did you have? How serious were your flaws?

That existential crisis followed you throughout your life almost like the B side of your own shadow. Present, but barely visible. Did you really deserve the life you led? What had you done to deserve it?

No, you didn't deserve that life. You hadn't done anything memorable, you didn't think you were an angel, a good person who cared about others. No, you weren't special. You were a villager like so many others, a strange villager, attracted to women, considered a freak by your own family.

Yes, everyone despised you for the way you were, for being different from the rest. Since your emotions were not predisposed to come to light, you were not able to realize that this was the reason for your depression.

Everyone despised you, except Donna. She loved you, she understood you even though she didn't know she had to. Your cheerful attitude and tireless smiles surely made her believe that you were always a happy girl, that suffering had not happened in your life.

But that wasn't true, it never was true. You had realized it too late.

You had no talents, no great aptitudes for anything. You didn't know how to paint, to work wood or to care of flowers. The only thing you knew how to do was exist and you weren't even good at that.

 That sudden revelation made you unable to stop crying, making everything that you were hiding inside appear in front of you like a tornado ready to destroy everything. Crying wasn't something you did, something you wanted but at that moment, you couldn't stop doing it.

You turned, hands covering your eyes, the emotions you had so repressed eating away at you from within. You wanted to stop crying, but you couldn't.

Your body leaned, lowering itself to the floor with your back resting on the counter. You didn't want to move. You couldn't do anything but shed tears tirelessly.

“(Y/N)?” Your lover's voice reached your ears with difficulty “Is everything okay? The food getting cold...” Donna stopped talking when she turned the corner and saw your pathetic crying on the floor.

“Donna, leave me alone, please,” you said sobbing, not wanting to look at her face.

She remained silent, watching you as if she were seeing something extraordinary.

“Why are you crying, tesoro? I had never seen you…” She murmured confusedly, approaching cautiously.

“It doesn't matter, okay? Go away, Donna, please,” you continued sobbing, looking away from her.

The woman in black approached slowly, putting a hand on your shoulder and studying your eyes hurt by crying.

“But, but tesoro. If, if something happens to you I want to...” Donna insisted, crouching down next to you and caressing your cheek.

Not even her innocent comfort could stop the horrible feelings passing through your body.

“Donna, please, I don't want you to see me like this, go away,” you said again, pushing her hand away from your face, which made her frown with a confused look.

“I want to help you,” she said, with a pleading tone, unable to calm your discomfort even in the slightest.

You shook your head. Another rare feeling, anger, shot through your nerves.

“Help me? I don't want your help!” You shouted abruptly, unpleasantly. “You're not even able to help yourself! So, no, Donna, go away.”

The doll maker stood up frightened by your words, looking at you with sadness and deep pain.

Your nerves calmed when you realized how unfair you had been to her.

“Donna, please go. Go before I say something stupid again,” you said in a low tone, your voice broken by crying.

She shook her head slowly, nervous but calm at the same time. No, she wasn't going to move from there.

“I'm sorry, (Y/N), but I'm not going anywhere,” she whispered, bending down and sitting next to you without speaking, with her gaze away from yours, but without separating from you.

Time passed slowly. Your sobs wouldn't stop, no matter how much you wanted them to. Donna was still there, sitting next to you without speaking, not saying anything that would cause your pent-up anger to explode against her.

Her hand moved slowly towards yours, which had left your face to press tightly against the floor. At first you resisted her hold, but the softness of her skin against yours immediately relaxed your muscles.

You opened your eyes for a moment, looking at your clasped hands. Donna was there, silently, with you. Despite your harsh words, she was still willing to help you. You didn't know whether to feel better or worse about it.

You searched her gaze. Her head was leaning against the furniture, tilted up, seeming almost inert, caressing your hand without even moving or trying to get closer. You couldn't tell if it was because she really didn't know what to do, or because she was giving you the time you so needed.

“I lied to you, Donna,” you said when your crying slowed down enough for you to be able to speak clearly.

She turned her head towards you, but her expression remained unperturbed, although you noticed some nervousness in her breathing. Surely she had to control herself at those words. Miraculously, she did.

“I'm not the person you think I am...” You continued talking, resting your head on the furniture in the same way as her, shaking it and looking at the ceiling. “I was never… I was never happy. I didn't have as many friends as you think. I didn't have any friends. I've never been good at anything I've done. I tried to be a useful girl and I just failed and failed...”

She nodded, but looking away from you.

“I always... They always told me that a smile is the best weapon against sadness, that if I smiled and pretended to be happy I would end up being. I've spent my life pretending that there was nothing that could make me stop laughing.”

Donna nodded again, listening patiently to a confession you didn't even know you had to confess.

“I have, I have always had problems expressing my emotions. I know it doesn't seem like it but... That's right. It's not that hard for me to laugh when I feel like it, or... Even to love you or show you that I love you, because that, Donna, is the only thing I'm sure of.”

The woman in black looked at you, a sad smile appearing on her face, not wanting to interrupt, not wanting to let your hand go.

“I've been repressing my sadness, my anger and... and I feel I can't take it anymore,” you said, sobbing again, leaning your body towards her shoulder, which she gladly offered to you, bringing your body closer to hers, sighing deeply.

“Tell me, (Y/N), what makes you sad?” Donna asked, with a tender voice, with the softest voice you had ever heard, putting her other arm around your body, to not let your demons take you with them.

“I... I...” You stammered, letting yourself be calmed by her lavender perfume, letting her arms protect you from everything bad that harassed you. “I don't feel like I worth it.”

Donna sighed again, kissing your head lovingly and hugging you even tighter.

“That’s not true.”

“Is not? Tell me Donna, why would you love someone like me?”

“Why would you love me?” She asked back, her lips glued to your hair, her arms giving you the warmth your trembling body needed. “I'm not... I'm not fine... I'm just giving you problems.”

“At least you can express what you feel,” you said, lowering your head to her chest, comforted by the beating of her heart.

“I wish I couldn't do it that way,” Donna whispered, her voice breaking too, tormented by her own problems.

“I wish I were able to say what I feel,” you whispered, adorning that phrase of hers with your own, with those problems so disparate and so similar.

“You’re doing it now... (Y/N). You’re doing it with me, and you can always do it,” Donna said, lifting your chin so that your teary eyes could look at her.

A sincere smile crossed your face as that revelation, hidden by your negative emotions, made its way into the darkness of your mind.

“I can always do it...” You repeated, changing crying for a smile, changing sadness for joy. Not a fake joy, a real one, a genuine one. The pressure in your chest decreased as if by magic, as if a few simple words contained your negative feelings. But this time it was different. It wasn't an armored door that enclosed them, but rather one that was open, that would let your torments out whenever you needed it.

You remained silent and moved a bit to be at the level of her lips, kissing them tenderly, with gratitude.

“You are the best thing that has happened to my life,” you said in a low voice, merging into a hug with Donna, letting both of you show what you felt.

“You are the only thing that has happened in my life,” she said, smiling, with the moisture on her face revealing a tear that ran down her cheek.

“Donna...” You sighed, separating yourself a little, squeezing your eyes tightly, feeling a comforting release.

“Listen to me, (Y/N),” she said, with a more serious tone, cupping your face in her hands. “Promise me that you will always tell me what you feel. It doesn't matter if it's a bad thing or a good thing. I... I will do everything possible to always help you. I will always be with you, my love...”

You nodded, feeling the need to cry again, but this time, with joy.

“You will always be with me...” You whispered, repeating her words.

“Always,” the woman in black reaffirmed.

[kommandonuovidiavoli]

Mind telling us how the dynamics of duos within teen Sector V are? Like 1/2, 3/4, 2/5, 1/3, 2/4 and so on lol. Just to get to know them and how they are as teens a bit better!

AHHHH SO!!!

There's a lot to say here, so I'll start with Nigel and go on until everything is explained?? Before reading, I don't want hate or anything plz, this is what works for this AU but I pretty much can ship anyone with anyone!

Let's go!

#1/#2

Nigel and Hoagie like to work in tandem on new 2x4 tech for teen operatives to use. Hoagie has the ideas, Nigel refines them (and avoids Hoagie from making them too dangerous or unstable) and they build them together. Nigel hasn't always been one for manual work but lately he found out it helps him not to think too much. And Hoagie's more than happy to help "Big Boss" relax!

---

#1/#3

Kuki is Nigel's personal ray of sunshine (that's also why the whole school calls her that). She helps him to cheer up and see life in a different way, a more colorful and positive one. They don't even have to talk, Nigel just needs to sit next to her and plop his head on her shoulder and she knows it's time to work her magic on him! Also she somehow convinced him to have her test her "make up skills" on him. Don't ask why, that's how they roll. AND! Kuki's been in charge of taking care of Nigel's rainbow monkey plush since he left for GKND.

---

#1/#4

Because of something that happen to Wally years before (which, don't ask, none of them want to talk about it), these two are now really close. Especially Wally found a good friend he can talk to when life gets too hard on him, he knows Nigel will be more than happy to listen to him go off without judging or forcing a solution on him. Basically Nigel KNOWS the root of all of Wally's problems and understands his feelings. They don't like to show how close they are around, but if they find each other alone, it's feeling time.

---

#1/#5

They know EVERYTHING about EVERYONE around the school, no one is safe, not even professors or the principal himself. They could crush everyone in one move... but choose not too because were would the fun be? Sill best friends, if you didn't know their history you could easily mistake them for a couple. Well, they are in fact planning their wedding, been doing that for 2 years now, but it always gets delayed because one of them changes his mind about a minor detail. Do they even argue? Are they actually together?? What is going on??? Only they know.

---

#2/#3

Just a quick note: Numbuh 6 is still there and they still keep an eye on him, but he's been moved to another sector when they all turned 13. Because of his love for anime and manga, Hoagie is actually learning Japanese with her, because he thinks it would be cool to be able to watch anime without subtitles or worse, the... dub... EWW! Also they like to watch stuff together that Wally refuses to because it has romance in it, like Toradora! or even Sword Art Online.

---

#2/#4

Best friends forever. Kinda gay, but not all the way? Like IRL JD and Turk basically. They're so into anime and manga and videogames, they're NERDS but Wally usually hides it around people, Hoagie can't be bothered and you can spot him reading some manga no one even knew existed. They have a lot of inside jokes not even the others understand, especially the "chicken" one they've been keep going since they were 7. Also, they're meme masters.

---

#2/#5

How the heck are they even dating? Like, he's an OTAKU and she's the QUEEN of the school??? But it works apparently, and everyone is jealous and MAD at Hoagie because really, he's one of the LAMEST LOSERS in the school, just... how... WHY?? No one knows. But them. He makes her laugh and she keeps him with his feet on the ground. Been going for *looks at smudged note on the hand* 7 YEARS????

---

#3/#4

A ray of sunshine and the prince of darkness. Happiness and rage, rainbow and clouds, colorful and black. They seem like opposite worlds colliding, but the whole school knows they're dating now. Took a bit of time tbh, it has its ups and downs, but they look happy together, so, what else could they want? 2 years down, their whole life to go.

---

#3/#5

They have the love for make-up and fashion in common. Kuki likes to test her make-up skills on Abby, who's more than willing to let her go for it because she's actually good! They like to hang out at the mall, sometimes they drag Nigel with them for reasons (the boy needs some good clothes).

---

#4/#5

If Nigel's the one Wally can go to without expecting judging or answers, Abby's the one who can give Wally a solution for a problem he has. She loves the boy, wants all the best for him, it's just that sometimes... he's... really something to work with. Actually turns out these two are the best ones to put on a mission together. They know how to work things out.

---

Sorry I have no energy to do all the drawings for all dynamics, so I did the ones that inspired me the most.

Hope you liked it!

[amugoffandoms]

Hypothetically if Milgram and danganronpa were to have a crossover what would Yuno’s execution be

Wow, what a question to receive at 2:47 am Hhfmgmg It's also great because yesterday morning I misread something and thought it to be much more. Graphic than intended lol.

This is where I direct you to my great Amane mutual, @kyanako5972 / @oboetemasuka

She's actually written Danganronpa-esque executions in her own fic, Final Judgment! I've linked Yuno's chapter, so please go check it out!! (Also, this is the fic I misread by accident, whoops.)

Though, if you want my own personal answer, as someone who used to be really into Danganronpa and still enjoys fangans, executions are meant to be despair-inducing, providing the victim with the belief of hope only for it to never have existed in the first place. (For example, the easiest one to cite here is Celeste's execution. She does not want to be seen as a "simple/common person", so she finds it befitting that she's to be executed by being burnt to the stake... only to be promptly hit by a car, one of the most common ways someone can die.

So, I suppose in Yuno's case, it would most likely revolve around her want for warmth?

However, I'd also probably go with the idea of forcing her to choose between who is more morally good and if she doesn't, she loses an appendage when it gets frozen by like cold temperatures or something lol. ^-^ I feel like it would be interesting to force the character who is uninterested in these types of things to actually try to care.

Anyways, I liked the former more, so here's a small run down of my thoughts:

Yuno has to have one final client date. (head in hands)

Every time she lies about herself or puts up a mask to play along, the temperature begins to drop. It's a small drop at first, but then it becomes bigger and bigger.

Eventually, it's all almost over. (Maybe she'll live, who knows.)

Leaning against a cold window, Yuno breathes a cold breath as she watches a thermostat slowly rise up. And, hey, maybe she can pretend the date wasn't bad and maybe the client actually liked her. Maybe she'll find some sort of enjoyment out of this—

The client comes hurling at her, shoving her through the glass window.

She's falling.

She hated doing this; she hated the cold. She hated lying to people who don't really give a shit. She hated all of this.

And, in the end, she never was warm.

[ganondoodle]

as i was awake in the middle of the night for like 2 hours bc i felt sick i had more somewhat random totk thoughts

one being that i really hate how raurus response to concerned zelda is, after sonia died in that almost funny how little impactful it was way, "im sure you are here for a reason" (actually, i hate how often this sentence is used in general to .. idk i guess its supposed to be inspiritational???)

bc what does that mean actually? him saying that to someone who got there absolutely by accident really just sounds like "i dont care go figure it out yourself bc i dont want to think about anything concerning you or your troubles lol" i guess its meant to sound like OOOOH fate has BROUGHT you here bc you have to furfill a role you dont know yet (spoiler its being a sacrifice girl with no personality) and besides me hating the 'inescapable fate' trope in general (at least the way its usually done in these games, which is not to struggle against it but willingly accept whatever you are told and pretend thats good) its really jsut goddamn boring and is really only an excuse to well .. ignore her and her trouble; shouldnt you, if you were actually such a cool guy like the game wants me to believe so bad, do everything in your power to get zelda back to her own world before shes pulled even further into the war you caused now that her only ""mentor"" that could help her get more use of her pretty much useless sudden powers is gone too?? i know shes basically dead wife sonia replacement (can of worms ugh) but it still grinds my gears whenever i think of that cutscene, bc i cant help but hear it as the lamest excuse in existence to not care about her and just kinda .. see what happens which in this case means leave zelda completely on her her own since both rauru and mineru die as well (honestly shouldnt rauru have thought about like .. any plan to defeat gan besides dying himself, given hes the oh so cool and goodest guy king whos only mistake was not stabbing gan the second he stepped into their kathedral castle thing, like even if you had a plan it can still fail but it seemed like he just kinda went in with a handful of people that didnt seem to know each other at all, never got names or faces -or unique voices for that matter- to fight gan face to face inlcuding the girl that came from a different time and had nothing to do with any of this conflict and couldnt even really control her sudden new powers just seems pretty stupid)

thought 2

how totk really feels like botw but for the people who didnt like shiekah tech, its not a sequel, its botw again, but version of only sonau, its like a pokemon game that had two versions but one has weirdly incoherent story and acts like the other never existed jsut as a whole its like retreading the same points but worse, all shiekah tech that was so integral to the world and had such a long history just vanishing and no one caring about any of it like it never happened, HELL the titans were called divine beasts in english but i guess they werent divine or important enough to keep around LOL champions WHO and isntead a never before seen or even heard of race for that matter showing up and planting their ass in every place the shiekah were before, dare i say it feels weirdly manipulative, like either them or some outside force erasing every fact about the ancient shiekah and replace them with sonau stuff bc they are the hot new shit now

this is a point that just doesnt stop bothering me, how the shiekah tech seemed so carefully designed and integrated into botws world and story, its a difficult to keep balance after all, integrating high tech stuff into a medieval setting, but they made it work! and then totk comes around and throws a bunch modern day tech into it puts some vague greenish stone filter on its exterior and call that even better more ancient tech; why did they even bother to make pottery inspired laser shooting spider legged robots so well integrated when they throw a car and rockets into the next game without a thought and call it a day, what was the fucking point

it feels like someone was dead set on having a set of legos thrown into the game it had no place in, if you want players to build whatever they want make a building game instead!! especially if you are just gonna throw it in with seemingly no consideration how out of place it feels togehter with the fACT THAT YOU ALREADY HAD AND ANCIENT HIGH TECH CIVILIZATION WITH A VERY DISTINCT AESTHETIC THAT WAS ALREADY WELL INTEGRATED INTO THE WORLD YOU ARE PLANNING TO REUSE WITH ALOT OF MYSTERY AND UNKOWN STUFF ABOUT THEM TO EXPLORE FURTHER YOU COULD HAVE USED!! but i guess they just "didnt want to play with you anymore" and that so much so that they went out of their way to erase every trace of it, i dont think the words shiekah tech are ever used in the game, and the purah pad and her towers just drive me more isnane bc they are the same shit but called different and also much worse, liek the purah pad isnt some more developed shiekah stone, no its a glorified camera with a teleport function and thats it

(i know i said this before but i really cant stand how obsessed every single NPC is with sonau shit, you get told to your face every second line of dialog that they are so cool and are so mysterious that it just makes me annoyed of them even more, the game is obsessed with shoving them everywhere and telling you over and over you too should obsess over them, they werent weird like that about the shiekah stuff in botw?? the biggesst talking point in botw was calamity ganon ..... which makes sense and in totk its like ... gan is mentioned what, in a newspaper article??? once???and then not even by name i think???)

aside from that big point which will never let me go, its also just .. its not moving forward anything, it actively walks BACK the progress that was made in botw, call me dumb but i dont really count moving one step up in the social roles of each race as a character development (for the side characters like the champions desc- ahem SAGES) but mainly zelda ... god how dirty she was done, totk pretty explicitely makes her regress any development she made in botw aside from she likes link uwu and some people like her too, but also not enough to notice that that weird zelda being all evil and weird isnt her (INLCUDING THE CHAMP- SAGES WHO YOU ARE SUPPOSEDLY FRIENDS WITH??? you dont have to be a genius to pick up on that my god, were you all given the mc dumbo potion or what)

she gets put back to square one, back into the little itty bitty princessy maiden role forced upon her by her royal parentage, this time rauru edition, back into a white little dress, back into the scared puppy eyed teenager, back into a situation she cant handle, back into losing everyone around her (tho honestly botw made me care more about rhoam than totk did about rauru), back into being forced to do a big sacrifice- but worse actually

in botw she went to FIGHT AND HOLD GANON IN THE CASTLE SO LINK HAD TIME TO RECOVER AND IT WOULDNT DESTROY THE LAND!! and you are telling me in totk rauru takes up her botw role and she bascially killed herself to ... restore the mastersword.

......... she ... she did that only to be a glorified version of the stone pedestal in the forest. and then she gets returned to normal itty bitty girly no problem via magic sparkle beam at the end and

DOESNT

EVEN

REMEMBER.

it really is just botw but worse, you even get yet another ghost king of hyrule to guide you around (rhoam did it better fight me ... we dont talk about the questionable choice to make himself darker skinned when posing as just some guy)

i honestly dont think i was ever truly taken aback by anythign that happened in botw, while in totk, the further i played, the more i had to fight with myself to keep the feeling of unease, disappointment and betrayal down

its such a god damn shame, totk should have stayed a DLC, i will forever mournfully dream of a game that explores more of the ancient shiekah, doesnt erase integral parts of the world, developes characters more instead of making them regress back and make them end up even less developed than at the start of the game, dives into buried secrets and mistakes of dark pages of history without giving into a weirldy nationalist(imperalisitc?) narrative and lets characters have some agency for once

if it werent for the yiga i might have actually considered refunding the game, just to be at peace with myself

anyway, aboslutely incoherent word vomit.

[luvvixu]

Let gooo!

But seriously I’m only one here who doesn’t feel a ton sorry for Satoru? I know satoru getting assaulted by Yukie is wrong and there no excuse for that.

But kind of don’t totally blame her. I mean Satoru treated y/n shit for 5 years straight and all of a sudden one drunken night spent together she get pregnant and he all of sudden started to treat her well and just gave her some human decency and wanted to work on and fix his marriage. 5 years of marriage of hating her and being a ass to her when she didn’t nothing wrong to him and didn’t want this marriage either. Now she get pregnant and gave a preterm birth to their son because he was still mad about her and complaining about her too! When she treat him so well even tho he was ass to her. She still cook for him, getting him his favourite treats, running his bath for him meanwhile he still treats her badly and doesn’t feel guilty about it until when a baby is involved and their both nearly lose their lives. Now he all guilty about how he treats her and cheating on her.

He was all like I’m suffering too! Like bitch how exactly? She didn’t abuse you or cheat on you, insults you or didn’t avoid your existence etc. All you had was You don’t know how much pressure I take just because of that Fucking marriage and everyday that I woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups, I’m getting so, so tired and I just want to….

And that it nothing about y/n behaviour or how she treats him. He just seems to hate her because he was forced to get married despite she didn’t want this either. So he taking all of hatred on her because he can.

So I can’t really blame Yukie here because imagine how your lover who seems to hate his wife with every fibre and inch of his body that he was forced to marry.All a sudden decided to stop hating her and want to fix their marriage?? Because of one night stand and she gets pregnant??? Now you want to gave this marriage a shot because a baby is involved now??? 5 years of hatred and resentment is suppose gone now? And you’re telling the woman who you didn’t want to let go of. Once she found out you’re married man because you told her that you really love her and not your wife. You love her so much that a year ago you promised to her that you would leave your wife for her and in the present you were still seeing her even when you find out that your wife was pregnant with your baby. You were devoted yourself to her just 2 weeks ago. Only just when you think your wife and baby are going to die. You want to suddenly stop seeing her and fix your marriage just like that.

Sorry for the long rambling rant😖😭

I'M CRYING THIS IS THE BEST SUMMARY OF A FANFICTION OVER 17K WORDS LOL

thanks for this anon, this is actually my cue to drop some explanations and I ACTUALLY LOVE READING YOUR RANTS LIKE IF I WASN'T THE AUTHOR, I WOULD DO THIS TOO!!

anyway, let's get serious about this. i've read a lot of these things about how satoru should not end up with the reader and how he deserves bad things for doing this or that. i've also seen a lot of comments about satoru suddenly changing.

i think it's time for me to drop some hints, facts, and a lil spoiler about mind over matter. take note, this is long so pls bare w/ me.

background facts about mind over matter

i created this ff because i really love the song entitled mind over matter by young the giants and got really inspired by its meaning. if you listen to the song, you'll get a hint because that song literally describes the trope between satoru and the reader, at least.

this story has a lot of psychological and philosophical theories (i think this is a perk of being a psychology student?? lol) and ideologies because this is the life we lived in. although this story is purely made by the fragments of imagination, there's still a chance that this occurs in real life. and i only think rational and logical.

the end

OKAY IMMA START WITH THIS CUZ A LOT OF Y'ALL WANTED THE READER AND SATORU WOULD NOT END UP TOGETHER

ahem, so i know most of y'all are angry at our boy and i understand that. however, i hope you are not forgetting that this is an x reader sooo...

nah im just kidding! there are still some x readers where the ships doesn't end up together—i've actually done this once and it's on the 'the end', a gojo satoru angst oneshot. but does that mean im going to use that ending on this mind over matter? we'll see.

i actually already plotted the ending and after see y'all's comments, i don't think you all are going to like it, i'm afraid. but nevertheless, i will still try my best to make the best of it. so i hope you won't get angry nor disappointed in me :((

and lastly, i will based the ending on how the reader and satoru perceived the tragedy happened in chapter 5. do you get the hint???

satoru's hate trail

satoru was getting a lot of hate because he did some nasty things to the reader like cheat, emotionally abuse, neglect, argue, ect. i would be angry too because i do not tolerate these kind of acts. but if we become a person who has holistic perspective (meaning in my own words: by being objective, we look on both sides before making a judgement), no matter how much we hate this person, we had to see his side. which in this case, we still hadn't see his story completely.

here's a hint about satoru's side: think of yourself as someone who literally carries the safety of the world and is in constant pressure to the point of you developing a fear of failing and losing. you are in a state of big actions comes into a bigger responsibility. what would you feel? what would you do to escape this bullshit reality?

satoru got manifested a maladaptive coping mechanism. this is where people use strategies to manage stress, anxiety, or difficult emotions that may provide short-term relief but ultimately worsen the situation or create additional problems. in this case, satoru was in a constant pressure and stress because of expectation as being the strongest, plus, the things happened during his childhood till adolescence adds fuel to the fire. then this marriage came and satoru loses his mind because he thought someone was controlling him, which we all know, is not.

he never meant to hurt the reader or do those things. that was only the results of his maladaptive coping mechanism. some of the scenarios of this mechanism involves distraction, avoidance, and overcommitment could be observed. he does the things he doesn't wanted to do just to ignore what is happening. BUT that doesn't mean WE are going to let this or HIM slide, yeah?

personally, i don't hate satoru that much in this story even if let's just say im not the author. i know he was such a bad guy and even if he change, there's still a history left behind. but since i'm someone who trained themselves to have a deep understanding and patience, especially that i'm a psychology student, i know satoru would eventually get what he deserve both in good and bad way.

the marriage

now let's talk about marriage, let's see what satoru and reader feel about it:

on the reader, she doesn't want it because it deprives her from chosing what she really wants for herself, like finding someone to marry on your own. but growing up in a clan where your moves are limited and no matter how shitty they were, you couldn't tear yourself away from them. the readers are lacking of validation and support from their own blood—that explains why she still in for this marriage because she still hasn't realize that she can receive what she is searching aside from her family.

on satoru, he doesn't want it too. he feels like this is suffocating him even though the reader did not show any interest on hurting him. but little did y'all know, satoru was looking for someone to blame for all of the things that happened to him. and guess what? he blames it on the closest involved, which are you and the higher-ups. this behavior is called scapegoating. this involves unfairly pointing blame or responsibility to an innocent individual, often to deflect attention from the true source of the problem or to avoid personal accountability.

but what makes the marriage stay intact for over 5 years? easy, they both ran away from addressing the real issue.

i know i've mentioned in one of the chapters that the marriage was on the verge of getting divorced. but the reason for that is because despite all of their personal challenges that greatly affects the marriage, they somehow found themselves into the comfort of their circle. meaning, they still hold on to the very last string of hope that everything could still be fine.

the reader's resiliency

the reader could've divorce satoru long long ago. but what stops her from doing so? simple, her family and empathy for satoru.

it was actually supposed to be sympathy for satoru. but there is a great difference between sympathy and empathy. let's break it down for a lil time. sympathy is where you're acknowledging another person's emotional hardships and providing comfort and assurance. while empathy is you are deeply understanding and sharing another person's feelings and experiences.

here's an example. the scenario is that your friend loses their pet: sympathy, "i'm so sorry for your loss. losing a pet must be really hard." and then empathy, "i understand how hard it is to lose a pet. i know the pain you're going through. let me know how can i support you."

see the difference? good.

ok, enough with the philosophy lesson. this may sound idk, confusing? but this is what the reader feels about satoru as of chapter 5, she had lost her faith in him as her husband but she trusted him a lot as her fellow sorcerer. she understands what he has been going through, and it's a little incomparable to her situation. the reader's back only carries her family, while satoru carries the whole world.

that was the leading reason why despite all of those things that happened, she possesses a deep understanding, patience, and support to the man even if it would destroy her in the process.

our reader is a hero, she's a tough woman. so we cannot just say that she should leave the guy and for another man when she's still not ready to let go of her principles inside this marriage. but of course, we would see what would happen next on the following chapters.

the mistress

i intended to make yukie michiga as an admirable woman. i've actually never seen a fanfiction yet where the third party is not aware that their partner was taken. so maybe, that's why i made her that.

but love blinded us all. we are the victims of love. an own witness of a broken down affair.

i actually love the character i made for yukie michiga. she was a fruit of a harsh reality that no matter how well you are as a person, there's still other factors that would destroyed you and forces you to cross the path you don't plan to.

yukie was against the idea of satoru cheating on you with her. she really tried her best to stop the affair but the love and selfishness wins.

satoru has lots of hook-ups and one night stands from before. but he decided to settle to yukie because he couldn't get enough. that's why her love grow and grow until it overflowed, and now, the self she was before has drowned and the corpse of her has comes to life.

kazuki, the baby

i don't have anything to say on our little sunshine who's unaware of his surroundings but he is the ray of hope for the reader and satoru.

satoru doesn't actually hate the baby even if he shown signs of not wanting the child but he really doesn't hate it. well in fact, he thinks that despite the baby is the fruit of two drunk and impulsive action, kazuki was innocent.

but the reader is innocent too? so why would satoru hate her? we'll never know.

anyway, kazuki be kazuki. he's a cute of mixture of the reader and satoru. since he's a preterm, i cannot say much yet on his appearance. but y'all are too lucky cuz imma say; his hair comes from you, his eyes are from satoru ofc, his complexity hmm maybe satoru? but yeahhh, so sorry i sucked at genes but y'all can think what does kazuki looked like as long as it's adorable cuz he's adorable!

nanami?!

UMMM I WAS A LIL SHOOK WHEN SOME OF Y'ALL MENTIONED THAT THE READER SHOULD'VE ENDED WITH NANAMI INSTEAD OF SATORU

and i must say, i was really taken a back cuz i never thought of that. should i do that? wouldn't it be a nanami x reader instead of gojo x reader?

anw, im so sorry to break it all to y'all, i don't plan doing that nor taking it into a consideration. why? because i have a better plan and i hope y'all gonna favor it.

here's a clue: i really admire how i paint the reader as the most resilient—yeah, that will continue to live. k bye that's it.

nanami was just a good friend for both the reader and satoru. he's good in his own and he's really helpful to those he held dearly, and that would stay that way.

sudden change

we're now down to final discussion for this post. i have a surprise at the end so better read this one out.

saw again a lot of comments, saying why does this satoru dude suddenly change after the reader is on the verge of dying...and other stuffs like that

but lemme asked you, can you handle a guilt and conscience when its other's life we're talking about?

in satoru's defense, this whole incident from the pregnancy complication serves as a biggest slap into his face, the coldest water ever drenched in his body, and the highest caffeine in his system—basically, his cue.

i don't remember saying that satoru doesn't really care for you anymore. he still have humanity towards you because deep inside him, he cares for you, but his exteriors tell otherwise. that's probably why ppl are confused and enraged about his instant care.

i think it's my fault for not clarifying it on the chapters so pls do forgive. but heyyy, at least now you know.

and i've yap a lot, y'all ready right for the surprise? good! cuz here it is....[click me, trust me]

SOOOOOOOO, YOU'VE COME TO THIS END??? 😭 i hope i managed to clear up your questions, but if not, i'm only one ask away so pls do not hesitate

[kimberlyannharts]

misc thoughts on the Darkest Hour finale

= that sucked. It sucked even more when you remember this is the finale and possibly the last time we'll see these characters/these versions of the characters and they barely get any noteworthy closure for what this event built up

= Like where. the fuck. was RITA. After everything with Mistress Vile, how she was basically the face of this event, she doesn't have any sort of role in the end? She doesn't escape the dumpster for the epic girlboss clapback against her abuser? Instead we bring back....Death Ranger for that? It's kind of hilarious how I was literally like "I guess Death Ranger could come back for the finale but that seems like a waste for a character like them" and guess what! It WAS a waste!

= I have no idea what JB was talking about in his thread. Nothing about this finale suggested a connection to the TV show universe; if anything, it more firmly established that the comics and show were in different continuities. If the idea is Billy will eventually succeed in resetting the Grid to the show status quo, it certainly didn't happen here. And anyway.......

= For some reason the franchise has really been committing to this idea of Billy fucking up and spending the rest of his life trying to bring things back to the former status quo which is so weird. Why is it always that and not a lesson about learning to live with your mistakes and moving forward. Especially in this situation, where theoretically fixing the Grid would undo the characters' lives that they'd lived for years at that point. Just completely pointless and cynical for no reason, not "sad" or "reflective"

= And yes there's no reset. Grace, Coinless Trini, and Kiya just get wiped from existence. The Grid shattering was pointless, except for I guess allowing the Rangers on Earth to morph without getting corrupted. Tigan also dies out of nowhere, so damn, the girls really got the short end of the stick here, didn't they

= AND MEANWHILE M*TT DIDN'T DIE. INSTEAD HE GOT TOMMY'S PLACE IN THE BIG GROUP MORPH. I HATE HIM. WHY DIDN'T HE DIE

= I was right that Vessel would purge Dark Specter and that would be the end of them both but still super underwhelming, made even worse by how Dark Specter was such a nothing, boring villain. God.

= fuck Hyperforce fuck their forced inclusion fuck how they just took time away from the actual characters that mattered to, you know, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. We never even got closure on that random plot thread about Chloe's mom, so what was the fucking point

= Also the Emissaries don't get followed up on, in case you were wondering. I guess we can assume Green and Black were cured from the infection as well but uhhhhhh I guess they're the only ones left now lol

= Nearly every. single. page. had some characters' romance baked into it and dear god man. I love romance! But that was just so much. We didn't need nearly every Ranger hooking up with someone and for that to be their primary relationship. I know getting Candice back was inevitable with how much Skull talked about her but who cares. When Phantom Ranger and Kendall hugged I was literally like MELISSA NO DON'T YOU DARE

= Speaking of which, I have no idea what they were trying to imply with the Rocky/Adam handhold. Frankly I refuse to give them credit for that when they spent the entire event sidelined with never a hint of romantic development. Maybe if they actually had a role in this event that showed them coming together as a romance? That would be great. But this was not it. It's like how they can't keep Yale's pronouns straight - I'm not giving them credit for representation if they don't commit. Especially when, as I said, literally every other romance this stupid event made up got a lot of explicitly romantic scenes

= Only upside to this is the Tomberly scenes were great and there was nothing saying they broke up. They stayed together and had this universe's Olivia equivalent and Kim beat Billy's ass for trying to erase that. The end!

[turian]

beloved gamer mutual & comrade @rhubarbspring tagged me to do a video game about me ( tysm for tagging !! truly loved reading all ur game thoughts. <3 ) explanations behind my choices under the cut.

(also, i had to cheat a little bit in the "you love, everyone hates" category, because i don't think people on tumblr hate da2, but one of my best friends despises it because of reused assets and combat designed more for consoles than pcs. and i can't remember any other controversial beloved games right now. the best i can do is games i love that i'm not sure anyone remembers? imagine ubisoft ballet? which, like. do people hate that. i don't think so).

tagging @cowsquirrel @malcriada @sakraya @ansburg @anoramactir + literally anyone i might have missed who wants to do this

favourite game of all time: so, look, i hate her as much as i love her. i always go back to new vegas even though i have a lot of criticisms of it - i had a realization recently after the release of the fallout show that while maybe i was projecting intergenerational trauma onto the game and using it to process some things, there is a lot in the game that is extremely imperialistic, even as it dabbles in anti imperialism. i can't get into all that here - better essays than i'm capable of have already been written on new vegas - but i also have to admit that new vegas taught me to see game writing differently, and helped me a great deal in improving my own writing. it's also just really entertaining playing later games by obsidian and picking out the new vegas elements. i think that new vegas gets praised too readily for being progressive when in reality it's only the most progressive game in the fallout franchise, and i think every time i return to it i'm noticing one more thing that'll kind of be making my eye twitch. but, yeah, i think it would also be dishonest to not include it here, regardless of my mixed feelings, because i keep going back, and because there are so many angles to it, and because i keep catching myself comparing other games to it.

i think a lot about like........... how so many themes i can relate to exist within the narrative of new vegas, but that doesn't feel entirely intentional. like, benny is so real to me because ! he was forced to assimilate into this culture that was not his to survive. and ulysses as well. and like!!!! yeah idk. going insane. i feel very similarly about dragon age elves tbh i'm like okay i feel seen but also this game is racist! kms :') will be projecting hard and taking so much psychic damage

many such cases tho </3 baldur's gate 3 and their treatment of the gur is always going to be a mix of relatable and uncomfortable to me

favourite series: soulsborne! i like how bleak it is, love the theme of death and rebirth, love how thankless the games can be, and i also love how the combat reminds me of muay thai. had a coach explain something to me using dark souls combat as an example once. i didn't really get these games at first, until i saw my best friend playing - she is ridiculously good at them - and then i sort of realized that they're just combat puzzles, and that like... they're kind of about honing patience, i guess? and after that they really became my favourite.

best soundtrack: honorary mentions: mass effect and dark souls both have some individual tracks i revisit on the daily, and skyrim's secunda is beautiful. but hollow knight doesn't miss, and i love how every track matches its environment.

favourite protagonist: i grew up in a really dysfunctional somewhat criminal family so like... lol. i feel seen when i look at arthur morgan <3 him and charles are both close to my heart. john can stay too ig

favourite villain: SO okay, maybe this is cheating a little, but. the reapers from mass effect. went into that game with zero spoilers, and finding out that they were in fact cosmic horror games was so <3

this would probably have gone to new vegas except benny (and also ulysses + i think he's more narrative foil than antagonist, as is benny) literally did nothing wrong in my eyes and after that point it's like... who is the main antagonist? the ncr and legion both? like yeah they're interesting but...

best story: i haven't actually finished pathologic on my own yet. kind of obsessed, though. just feels responsible to put it here. honorary mentions to new vegas, some fromsoft titles, twd, imagine ubisoft ballet........ (i love her and i miss her).

i feel like a lot of story games i've played actually have garbage stories with good characters, which is why they're not here. baldur's gate 3 and ME, for example. or like... ME has a great story at first but they fuck up the ending so badly that a popular theory i've heard passed around essentially boils down to "it was all a dream!"

have not played but want to: i was actually supposed to apply for a job with the team that made these games !! i didn't because it would have required relocation to the US, but. idk i feel like they keep showing up, always highly recommended, and i think i own one? so yeah, i should really get around to that.

you love, everyone hates: again, i cheated on this one. i don't think people on here hate dragon age 2.

you hate, everyone loves: skyrim, detroit: become human, stardew valley (because it's a weird little cottagecore colonialism game but also because i don't really vibe with the art style and i get stressed as fuck in it because nothing is happening... it is simply not for me), and fallout 3 and 4 (because they're masquerading as games with choices but they fully aren't, they suffer from bethesda writing, and they are super unapologetically racist and imperialist). i mean like... not mad at any of my friends who like these games i just cannot play them. i don't really think any of the games on my list are unimpeachable, tbf.

favourite art style: disco elysium !! it's so <3 like, i also love it for other reasons!! but every time i play it i end up wanting to draw.

favourite ending: new vegas has four endings. i feel differently about them all, but the independent ending is very much shaped by the infrastructure the player assembles during a playthrough, and while it is maybe imperfect and very open ended in some ways i like how it doesn't really reassure the player. also, i really like certain elden ring endings and the dark souls 1 ending. and pathologic.

favourite boss fight: hollow knight has a lot i've really enjoyed (particularly hornet's). for elden ring, malenia is the fave, tho <3 when i defeat her i tend to feel really disappointed. like, get up. let's go again. parrying her is extremely satisfying.

childhood game: we like... found out we had some cousins which is wild because this has been a tiny family since Certain Incidents A Long Time Ago and they also had nintendo ds access and they were not into this game. and like... look, i'm not saying it's great, but it had dark souls ish combat? like, you could lock on? you could roll? and i ended up replaying it as an adult and being like. huh. not that bad.

+ imagine ubisoft ballet ily

relaxing games: distance, injustice 2 (i main red hood & black canary but i like playing robin too. it's super imbalanced and they still haven't nerfed starfire !! and it's incredibly funny like good for her), dark souls 1, and elden ring.

stressful games: again stardew valley because i would play with friends and it was like oh god i need to leave. i do not know what to do, i am useless, i am understimulated

+ red dead online is not a good game to play without substantial backup . so glad i had horse insurance because if i hadn't my only friend in that world would be dead. that said, i did like to hunt in that game + play the fps levels with groups

games you always come back to: new vegas but maybe she'll release me someday. idk. also unfortunately i didn't include it earlier but i keep going back to the sims 4 and baldur's gate 3. and fromsoft titles because i sometimes just crave that combat.

guilty pleasure: new vegas again!!! i guess i kind of talked about my extremely complicated feelings when i first spoke about it, but yeah. there's just so much to unpack and i'm never going to forgive it for a lot of things. the horrors and the joys are both numerous but the joys will never not be tainted by the horrors

tons of hours played: elden ring + bg3 + new vegas + mass effect. i don't have the hours of new vegas and mass effect available tho as they are confined to a now dead xbox 360

[petitprincess1]

OK, I won't share the person's username since I don't want people to go and bully them, but that one person who made that post about Vivziepop being "the shittiest writer in all of history" is genuinely one of the most pathetic people in this fandom

They're literally a borderline homophobe who complains about Viv's gay couples only being there for "brownie points"; they've made multiple posts saying that Charlie/Vaggie is forced and unhealthy, and tries to claim that somehow Blitzø/Stolas is more abusive than Stolas/Stella or Blitzø/Versosika

Like... obviously preferring m/f ships over gay ships doesn't make you homophobic, but constantly shitting on gay pairings and claiming that the straight alternative is better is really gross...

I mean, idk why people get so upset at seeing flawed queer relationships in media. Like, that's just how it is in real life. And, yeah, Charlie and Vaggie probs do have a bit of an unhealthy relationship, but so what? They're clearly working it out together.

Stolas and Blitzo do have an unhealthy relationship, but it sure as Hell isn't nearly as bad as Stolas was with Stella. Who p much SA'd him, considering Stolas dissociated while she had her way with him. But, ig it's not rape if the victim is a man hahahaha I fucking hate it here :3

I'd understand the whole "brownie points" if this was a Disney production or whatever. But, like, these guys are just here. They exist. Sorry that that bothers you. Cope and seethe lol

[kindheart525]

This post inspired me to do a little exploration of Gola’s teenage years! She’s not very kind to others as an adult, making a hobby out of rage-baiting strangers on the internet, but one thing she does have going for her is that she’s very confident in herself and her looks. Believe it or not, she was once very insecure.

Her whole thing is that she has a gorgeous supermodel body topped off with a goofy, cartoonish, bug-eyed critter head, and this was not something she was proud of. Especially since she had no hair which really accentuated the oddly-shaped nub atop her shoulders. For a time she wore a wig to cover this up, even though the vibrant blue waves and modest (by her standards lol) clothing only concealed self-loathing.

You might expect a sad girl who clings to her pillow at night and hopes for friendship and joy in her life, but that was not Gola at all. As much as she hated her own looks, she made a conscious effort to ensure that everyone else felt a thousand times worse. To one-up her own bullies and be even meaner than them.

Kip felt bad for Gola. Just a few years ago she was in the same position, feeling so insecure in her own self-image that she made it everyone else’s problem. Even to the point of hurting her best friend. She didn’t exactly try to fix Gola or anything, but she did reach out and try to be a smiling face who she could take comfort in. A glimmer of kindness in what she knows feels like a cruel world when you’re a growing girl. Maybe it would mean something to Gola.

But as you can see here, Kip quickly realized that Gola didn’t want kindness. She might have struggled with her self-esteem but she took joy in being a bully, in stirring shit just for the hell of it. Kip’s kindness didn’t quell that flame, but rather stoked it, reigniting her own insecurities in the process.

But Gola wasn’t free from consequences.

Ell quickly heard about what Gola did and jumped to Kip’s defense, as any good sister would. Gola would usually taunt such vigilantes, but Ell is like a sister to her and it admittedly did feel pretty shitty to get on her bad side like this. The girls who usually conspired with each other got pitted against each other by her actions. This didn’t lead to any sort of epiphany where Gola changed her ways or anything, but it did force her to deliver an awkward apology to Kip and recognize her as off-limits to her vitriol.

Eventually Gola experienced a shift in mindset, a recognition that by covering herself up, she was just letting those assholes win. Becoming a bully wasn’t enough when she was still letting her own bullies control her actions and her opinion of herself. So she ditched the wig and is now showing the world that she doesn’t give a fuck what they think.

She also calmed down a bit with the deeply personal attacks, now only delivering insults to those she feels have explicitly wronged her rather than to every passerby who acknowledges her existence. A girl like Kip might grow from her insecurities as someone who spreads kindness, who does her best to make sure nobody else feels like her, but Gola learned how to fight back. Someone makes fun of her bald head? She fires back with, “I hope you get cancer.”

Besides the fighting back against bullies, Gola does still enjoy the art of taunting strangers through internet trolling. Except instead of having a vendetta against everyone who’s more confident than her, instead of having any ulterior and deeply personal motives, she just thinks it’s funny to watch people work themselves into a tizzy over some comment she made to bait them. It’s not her fault they fell for it and provided her free entertainment.

[deannagrey]

A Mendell Christmas: Part One

A little Christmas short for the holiday season! This occurs toward the end of Team Players, before Aderyn (spoiler alert for Team Players ending!) reveals she's leaving Mendell. (please excuse any errors, I'm not the best editor lol)

Naomi 

“Naomi?” A soft, rhythmic knock at the door called for my attention. “It’s me.”

I tugged off my headphones and glanced at the clock. I’d been so knee-deep into online Christmas shopping I didn’t realize the time. 

"You ready?" Lincoln was out of breath — undoubtedly from taking the stairs two by two because he couldn’t stand the time it took to climb them. 

I smiled at him. His eyes were bright and full of infectious excitement. He bounced on the balls of his feet like he was ready to take action at a moment’s notice. 

“For what?” I couldn't help but tease.

“Naomi.” His shoulders sagged and his smile tapered off into near non-existence. “They’re all downstairs right now and in the worst mood ever. We have a job to do and you’re going to tell me you forgot?” 

I laughed and got up from my desk to reveal the bottom half of my outfit. Relief smoothed Lincoln’s brow. He chuckled at the spin I did to make my green, tree skirt light up. His bouncing was back. 

“You really thought I forgot?” I tugged off my sweatshirt to reveal the ugliest Christmas t-shirt I could find at the local thrift shop. It had reindeer patches, a multitude of Santa Clauses, and enough colorful candy cane to make one feel cross-eyed.

“You’re just so good at bluffing, Sunshine,” Lincoln said and pulled out two Santa hats from his bag. Both were green and trimmed with gold fabric. My name was embroidered in black thread on one. 

I gasped and stood still as he placed it on my head carefully as if it were a crown.

“There, now you’re all set,” he said. 

“This is so cute! Where did you get it? Wait…do you know how to sew?” 

“No, I wish. I just know people who know people who know how to sew.” He nodded in approval at how the hat looked on me and then, placed his own on. “I got one made for all of us. I wanted it to be perfect. A holiday to remember despite…well, you know.” 

Lincoln had been planning this for weeks. And as his partner in crime (or elf in crime depending on the level of Christmas spirit), I was committed to helping him. 

“It will be perfect,” I promised while adjusting my hat. “They’re going to cheer up and we’re going to make this a time to remember. They’ll be so holly and jolly we’ll probably get sick of them.”

Lincoln laughed. “God, imagine.” 

“Anything is possible this time of year,” I said even though seeing Sam, Henrik, and especially Finn more excited than Lincoln and I would be a sight to behold. 

“Are we all set?” I grabbed my phone, ready to record reactions for the eventual short film Lincoln wanted to put together. He was going to call it “Our First Christmas.” When I asked if they’d spent holidays together before he said, of course. 

“Why first then?” I’d wondered. 

“Because you’re here and now, our family’s bigger. It’s our first Christmas together,” he’d said so casually like it was simple and my inclusion vital. I’d cried that day and Finn almost got into it with Lincoln until he realized it was good tears. 

“Almost set,” Lincoln answered me. “Just one more thing…”

He tossed a garland around my neck. I snorted but didn’t protest. 

“Now you’re perfect!” He grinned. “Remember your cues?” 

I rolled my eyes, good-naturedly. “Of course I remember my cues. I’m a professional.”  

“That’s what I like to hear.” He started out the room and I followed with an equal amount of pep in my step. 

Lincoln had big plans for his Secret Santa event – something of which I didn't originally think needed much of any planning. But in any event Lincoln put together, he committed ten times the necessary energy and focus. And I was lucky enough to also be his second. We wreaked havoc on our household with our combined forces. The guys feigned fear of our events, pretending they hated being roped into the fun. It was a farce they kept up even now as I marched into the living room. 

"Uh oh," Henrik teased from his spot on the couch. He closed the book he was reading, using his index finger as a temporary bookmark. 

Sam was lying on the loveseat with his legs hanging over the edge of the armrest and a glassed gaze on the ceiling. My heart tugged at the small smile he flashed in my direction. He'd been in a dark place after his relationship with Aderyn had been left in a state of limbo. I couldn't get much out of him but Finn relayed some of his fear. Sam was a large chunk of the reason why Lincoln wanted to go so hard this holiday season. The guys didn't usually exchange gifts but retail therapy was something Lincoln thought could cheer everyone up. 

"What's this?" Finn was in the kitchen, loading the last bit of dishes into the dishwasher. He smiled when I twirled once for him to admire the lights on my skirt. I’d been sworn to secrecy about Lincoln’s plans but that didn’t keep me from at least showing my boyfriend the outfit earlier. 

Finn loved a lot of things about my skirt…mainly how it clung to my waist and provided easy access for him to do what he wanted. My cheeks burned when I remembered how long we’d spent in our room this morning. How long he insisted on being underneath me. 

Finn flashed me a knowing smile before finishing up the dishes. 

“Uh…” I cleared my throat, trying to get back on track. 

“The lights,” Lincoln whispered from the staircase. He tried to keep out of view, readying for his big entrance. “If I may have your attention and then, the lights.”

Sam laughed at Lincoln’s obvious coaching. Score. It wasn’t his carefree laugh but it was better than his forlorn staring. 

Henrik was polite enough to pretend like he didn’t hear Lincoln. He made a noise of wonder when I clapped and the lights went out. 

“Since when did we have that?” Sam sat up, completely intrigued. 

“Irrelevant,” Lincoln said and then whispered to me, “Tell them it’s irrelevant.” 

“I installed them last weekend,” Finn explained. 

“You rewired our living room in a weekend?” Sam asked, impressed. 

“It didn’t require rewiring,” Finn said. 

“Nowadays, sound-sensitive lights are pretty common and simple to install,” Henrik added. 

“Irrelevant,” Lincoln repeated, this time it was a plea. 

“Right!” I called in a voice louder than usual. The guys jumped and turned their attention back to me. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is our main event.” 

“What?” Sam glanced at his friends, searching for explanations. There was enough light from the sun setting outside to bleed into the living room and flood the floor with a warm red. The red painted their faces, revealing similar expressions of curiosity. 

“All I know is that she needed sound-sensitive lights.” Finn shrugged and joined Henrik on the couch. “What she needs, I get.” 

“Simple and straightforward,” Henrik said when Sam looked at him in exasperation. “Did you expect he’d be anything else?” 

Sam chuckled and sighed. “No, I guess not.” 

“Gentlemen,” I said and unlocked my phone to start the music. An instrumental version of A Holly Jolly Christmas played. “Tonight is our first annual Mystery Secret Santa.” 

“Mystery Secret Santa?” Sam asked. “That feels repetitive. Isn’t Secret Santa already a mystery?’ 

I frowned. “Okay, are you going to let me finish my introduction or not? We have a dance to get through.” 

“Oh, there’s a dance?” Sam’s face lit up. He pulled out his phone, ready to record. “Say less.” 

Henrik and Finn tried to hold in their laughter, succeeding only when I shot them silencing glares. 

“I would like to present to you this night's host,” I announced with a dramatic gesture of my arm. “Lincoln Hill.” 

Henrik set his book to the side and clapped at his friend’s entrance. His smile grew wider when he saw Lincoln’s dramatic fur-lined, red cape and the oversized carpet bag he toted.

“Good evening,” Lincoln started in a deeper voice than usual. He bowed to our audience. That was my cue to turn on the multi-colored, twinkling Christmas lights I’d lined around the living room’s entrance. 

Henrik’s clapping got louder and Finn joined in. Even Sam looked impressed, whistling at the light show as he directed his camera to them briefly. 

“Taught her that,” Finn said quietly with pride. 

I smiled at him and continued, “Mr. Hill will tell you all how our mystery will unfold.” 

“Okay, Mr. Hill,” Sam teased. “Let’s see what you got for us.” 

“In the two-story house, right off Highbury Lane, lived five very studious university students.” Lincoln walked around the living room as he spoke. With each sentence he said, I lit a candle. Warm light slowly brought life back into the house. 

“We live off of a street,” Finn mumbled. “Right?”

“We do,” Sam assured.

“Ssh.” Henrik patted Finn’s shoulder. “It’s fine.” 

“All of which,” Lincoln continued, choosing to ignore the interruption. “Had a bloody, red secret.” 

“The best kind,” I said. 

“Very,” Lincoln agreed and winked at me. “Each secret was written down and hidden to quell their guilt. Due to sacred law, that secret was to be revealed once a year. And during that time, they were cursed to read a fellow housemate's secret. Once the secret was shared, they would temporarily be free of guilt during the holidays. Free to be merry and bright.”  

“That’s kind of sad when you think about it,” Finn mused. 

“It is.” Henrik hummed in agreement. 

“Okay, guys, it’s not supposed to be sad,” Lincoln quickly abandoned his spooky deep voice for his normal tone. “It’s supposed to be fun lore.” 

“But we’re cursed,” Henrik teased. “How is that fun?” 

“Yeah, since when are curses fun?” Sam wondered. 

“I can’t.” Lincoln turned to me with a groan. “They’re so…them.” 

I laughed and hurried to his side to unzip the carpet bag. “It’s fine. We’ll just move on to the picking.” 

Lincoln sighed, shook out his shoulders, and resumed his narrator's voice. “One sheet for each housemate. One chance to end their guilt by confessing to their murder.” 

“You’re first.” I took the bag and hurried over to Sam. 

“The broody leader with a heart more tender and kind than he lets on,” Lincoln said. 

“Alright, cool it with the titles,” Sam grumbled and dug his hand into the bag. 

“Well?” I asked when he opened the sheet. 

“Um…I can read it aloud?” he asked. 

“Yes, it’s a mere riddle. Something only you and the murderer will connect on,” Lincoln said.

“That makes no sense,” Sam said and shrugged. “But whatever. It says, I murdered in secret. My feet made no sound. I can construct the coffin easily. My hands are skillful enough to handle the ground…What the hell?”

“Next,” I sang and moved to Finn. 

He reached into the bag with one hand and snuck his free hand to the back of my knee. I breathed easily under his warm touch as he read his riddle. 

“I murdered between jokes. Made a sound like no other. I’m an easy catch. Just remember I’m nobody's brother.”

“Can we trade?” Sam asked. “I think I know that one.” 

“No trades!” Lincoln demanded. “The bag has chosen.” 

“Your turn.” I smiled at Henrik and he returned it before retrieving his confession. 

“I murdered in daylight. I was drowning in yellow. My fingers typed fast. I felt nothing but mellow.” Henrik chuckled. “Cute. I like this one.” 

“And you.” I skipped to Lincoln and shook the bag a little. He used a hand to cover his eyes before picking. 

“I murdered with a spoon. Or maybe it was a fork? Whatever it was, it happened under the moon. Whatever it was, I didn’t do it for sport.” Lincoln breathed a sigh of relief. 

“And me,” I claimed the final sheet. “I murdered determined. I did it first. As a leader, I wasn’t afraid. As a person, I don’t fear any curse.” 

I smiled, pleased. 

“Well, there you have it,” Lincoln said. 

“No, I really don’t.” Finn frowned down at his paper. 

“You can get the help of one murderer,” I said. “But only one so choose wisely.” 

Lincoln nodded in agreement. 

“I got you,” Sam said and Finn sighed with relief. Sam whispered a name into his best friend’s ear and the guy lit up. 

“Ah, that makes a lot more sense," Finn said. 

“Are we good then?” Lincoln bounced on his feet again, already geared to start his Christmas shopping. 

“No, not yet,” Sam said and pulled his camera back up. “We’re going to need that dance you two promised us.” 

“Oh right.” I started toward the Bluetooth speaker. Lincoln caught my elbow before I could leave. 

“Nope, they don’t deserve our dance.” Lincoln shook his head. “Not unless they stop laughing and appreciate our efforts.” 

“No one’s laughing,” Sam said while…well, laughing. 

“You're such an asshole,” Lincoln said with a smile. “No dance this time. We will reveal our talents when we know they’ll be appreciated. Right, Naomi?” 

“Right, exactly.” I nodded. Finn caught my eye and something in his gaze told me I could be convinced to do a private show later. 

“That’s all we have for now, folks,” Lincoln announced. “It’s up to you to do the rest. To figure out your fellow murderer and make sure your present is the best.”

“I do love it when he rhymes,” Henrik noted. 

“And I don’t,” Sam joked. “But this is entertaining so I’ll allow it.” 

“Come on,” Lincoln said. “Get off your butts and start looking for gifts. You’ve got twenty days until Christmas Eve. Let’s make every one of them count.” 

[shrinkthisviolet]

Oooo I’d love some background info on i hate (what i’ve become) (or anything else you want to say about it) because I am OBSESSED with that fic (the ANGSTTTTTTT)

OOOOOH I will certainly try to give what background I can!

Admittedly that's one I wrote on a whim without a ton of context behind it, and it's not situated at a specific point in s3 because...for obvious reasons, it's very canon-divergent in many ways, and even I don't know the full details of how 😅 but what I can do is expand on the Saveddie/Thallen dynamic in this fic (and it turns out I have a lot to say about them lol so see below the cut for my rambling thoughts):

Eddie is revived from the dead! This isn't really a secret in the fic ofc—Eddie refers readily to his death as an event that did happen (“Is that why you didn't bother to remember me?” Eddie’s eyes flashed. “Why you were so fixated on Iris the moment I died—why you held back on moving on because she’s not Iris, I guess?”), and Savitar also references it as his own doing (“Didn’t you wonder who brought Eddie back, Barry? Surely you must’ve had your theories.” Savitar smirked. “Did you suspect for even one second that it was actually a version of you? A better version, who isn’t such a spineless coward?”)

Also, you may wonder, what's Savitar's deal? Does he really love Eddie? Is he just using him? The answer is...both! The framing for this fic is that if Eddie hadn't died, Barry might've been brave enough to confess to him, and Westhallen perhaps would've happened...but alas, he did die, and Barry's feelings remained unresolved and screaming in his heart. And ofc...when Savitar is born, he's Barry, so those feelings are screaming in his heart too. He has two goals: a) pretend to kill Iris and preserve his existence, but secretly steal her away/revive her for himself*...and b) revive Eddie so he can finally act on those feelings he never even confessed (oh Savitar...someone must've slept through reading Great Gatsby in English class, or you'd know better!). And since he hops back and forth in time, between the past and the future...he knows that Eddie has the potential for great power as Cobalt Blue, could've taken up the mantle if he hadn't died.

So he revives Eddie and begins seducing him, telling him all about Westallen and painting Barry in the worst possible light (he still has a soft spot for Iris, so he doesn't say as much bad about her—remember, he wants to force Westhallen into existence, wants both Eddie and Iris by his side, so he won't badmouth the love of his life. He will badmouth Barry plenty though—you know how in s9, Eddie's furious at Barry for "stealing" his fiancée? Here, that's something Savitar plants in his head.

Unlike s9 though, Eddie isn't corrupted by an external cosmic force, and he loves Barry and Iris, so he pushes back on this. But Savitar knows exactly how to play on his heartstrings...and pouring in some sympathy for himself gets Eddie on his side (a version of Barry who's thrown away/disregarded by the entire Team after Iris dies? Who's mistreated even by Barry himself? Eddie's furious at the thought). Savitar, also, is not nearly as shy as Barry was, confessing his feelings readily...and acting on them, much to Eddie's giddy delight (his own description) and Savitar's smugness.

Things sour after a while, though. Savitar's possessiveness is far removed from Barry's selfless love, and Eddie notices. He also, however, notices how ruthless Savitar is in defense of what he wants...and figures out very quickly that if he pushes too much, he pisses Savitar off—and Eddie's not so keen to piss off another evil speedster. Though Savitar also complicates this because when he picks up on Eddie's fear, he tones down the aggression and acts more like the sweet, gentle Barry Eddie loved. So on the one hand, Eddie wants to leave, find his way to Team Flash and beg for their help...but on the other, he doesn't want to piss off Savitar, he still has love and sympathy for Savitar due to his similarities to Barry...and he still remembers what Savitar told him about Team Flash mistreating him in the future (when Eddie's particularly doubtful, Savitar reminds him about this, playing up his sympathetic backstory...and ofc it works, keeping those doubts at bay)

Seeing Barry again, though? That opens a floodgate that Eddie is hard-pressed to close again. Seeing the real Barry, desperate and pleading and hopeful—Eddie wants to take his hand and ride into the sunset with him...and with Iris too, when Barry brings her up. But Savitar's ironclad grip on him (literal as well as figurative) presents an obstacle. Even if Eddie wanted to leave (which he does, he realizes as he looks into Barry's eyes, he really, really does), he fears what Savitar might do if Eddie shows too much willingness to leave—maybe not to him, but to Barry. Eddie's seen an evil speedster try to kill Barry before...and although Savitar can't kill Barry, he could still do plenty else. He's a man out of time, older than Barry by 7 years and centuries too...that's terrifying. Eddie doesn't even have a gun, let alone powers (after all, as Savitar told him, what would Eddie need a gun for, when his significant other is the most powerful being in the multiverse?)

But ofc Eddie can't let on. So he keeps the mask up, he's cold to Barry...he convinces Barry he's a lost cause, even as his heart is screaming at him to go after Barry, screw the consequences. But he can't say "screw the consequences", he can't risk harm to Barry, so he keeps up the act and tries not to shed tears about it.

Savitar is delighted about this, of course...but Eddie still has doubts. Minor doubts, of course—Savitar can airbrush over those with more manipulation, and he does (“All Bivolo does,” Savitar said with a sigh, “is amplify feelings that already exist. Barry did love you—otherwise I wouldn’t—but more than that, he hated you all along. He only needed a little push to show you exactly how he felt.” He smiled. “Not unlike you and me...though I’d say that turned out much better for us.”)

And then...Savitar gives Eddie something as a reward (or rather, he promises to): a way to defend himself. The implication, ofc, being that he's going to turn Eddie into Cobalt Blue.

*this never comes up in the oneshot, but it's implicit in almost everything Savitar-related I write, and it's my headcanon for him

[p-perkeys]

I've been out of the loop with X-men comics for more than fifteen years, and actually I was in the loop for a year, maybe year and a half - I'm not from US, so they've been hard to come by. My love for mutants came mostly from cartoons.

BUT. Your fixation on Laura reminded me of my fixation on Laura from the times I discovered that she exists, so I thought you're the best person to ask this: If I wanted to read something recent and good about her, where should I start?

Actually, doesn't have to be recent, just good :D

Hiiii!!! First of all, thank you so much for this ask!! I'm so flattered that you consider me to be a good resource!! I am unhealthily obsessed with Laura haha I could talk about her for daayyyysss!!!!! It's always so fun to connect with other people with the same interests and passions!! <3 <3 <3 I love it!!

Laura's been in so much!! But here's my personal favorites, and they're all things that I feel like are important to her characterization as a whole :)

LOVED NYX (2003) - her intro into comics!! So much angst and trauma and allllll the insight into who she is!

Uncanny X-Men (I'm pretty sure 456 is the first appearance for her here!)

New X-Men (she's not there until the 20s!)was really important - a lot of big moments as she tries to navigate her first time at a semi normal life.

x-23 Target X - SOO important, we see more of her backstory and transition from the facility!

X-Force (2008) MORE TRAUMA AND ANGST. I hate what happens to her here but love the angst from a story telling perspective. You can really feel her slipping throughout this arc!

X-23 solo (2010) It is a beautiful story!! So many amazing things! and SO IMPORTANT to Laura's character development!! Love her and Remy here, love her becoming friends with Jubilee, and LOVE her reallymeeting Akihiro - the start of an amazing story of chosen family!

I like her in Avenger's Academy - to be honest I mostly skimmed. I do like the angst of the brief friendship she had with Finesse though! To me it offers another look at how Laura is growing as a person!

Avenger's Arena was okay - I personally didn't feel like there was a ton of development for her, but it's good if you like angst and it just shows another layer of her slipping through the cracks again. The same with circle of four! I think they're good to read to get into her headspace for when she's introduced in all new xmen.

All New Xmen... I didn't love until it was over. I didn't understand all the things going on, but it made sense after the fact. You do see Laura's first official romantic relationship, and she has quite a bit of development, some set backs, some leaps forward... over all good and I would recommend reading for her overall story!

Wolverines was really good!! It shows the transition of tolerating each other to deciding to be family for her and Akihiro! I personally am OBSESSED with this story and I've read it countless times!!

Her All New Wolverine solo was AMAZING!! Loved this!! There was just so much that happened for her! Gabby, Akihiro, Sarah, Kimura... you get a dose of EVERYTHING and I think it ties the loose strings nicely!!

XMen (2019) isn't a favorite of mine but I do think it's important to read just because a lot happens for her here! It continues into the reboot in 2021 with an older version of her that comes back after she's presumed dead from a mission!

XTerminators is a resounding YESSS!!! Super fun, super cute! She's a little more relaxed and we get to see her reconnect with Jubilee!!

X23 Deadly Regensis was a nice bridge between her leaving the XMen and leaving with Remy in her early days. We get to see more of Kimura and more of what Laura went through!

X-Force (2019) was alright - it was a set up for her current appearance in Sabertooth War, which is also kinda meh lol but it's where she is now!

There are a lot of other things she's been in but I feel like it can get REALLY overwhelming, so these are just, in my opinion, most of her major stories that really showcase who she is :)

As a bonus - I loved her in Trial of Magneto and Deaths of Wolverine strictly for her interactions with her siblings. And there have been a lot of little crossovers between major events too where she just has shown up everywhere haha but I hope I answered your question!!

Please feel free to ask me anything else - I LOVE interactions like this!!!