#literally love how even when we found the fucking remote

[thetimelordbatgirl]

How I know when I'm winning in an argument with my mom: she threatens to stuff my mouth shut or one time, threatened to make sure the remote connected when threatening to throw it at me.

[genderqueerdykes]

thank you both for this, i was literally in the process of writing a post about this as i saw these.

i came out as bisexual when i was about 19 or 20 years old, in 2011 - 2012. this was such a difficult thing because everyone around me suddenly had very pointed opinions on me. suddenly i wasn't queer anymore, i was a straight person. i asked people why and they said well bisexual people are half straight, which makes you straight, which means gay people don't want to be around you. i was told nobody likes bisexuals because they're too straight to be gay and too gay to be straight

i had a literal personal dilemma because i didn't feel like that at all. when i was realizing i was bisexual i was realizing i was attracted to all genders in a queer way. i did NOT feel like my attraction to men, women or genderqueer people was straight in any way, shape or form. i've always fit in much better in both gay and lesbian circles. those have always been my home, and my community

in the early days of my transition, when "genderqueer" wasn't even remotely heard of, i had to try to transition into being a man to be seen as trans at all. i went from being forced into lesbian spaces to being forced into gay male spaces. nobody let me pick where i was existing. i was being pushed around. i liked both lesbian and gay male spaces, but i was being told when i could and couldn't occupy the spaces. and then when it came out i was bi everyone called me a traitor and said i was a straight person

my best friend at the time came with me to pride meetings and when her mom found out about that, and that i was bi, she told my friend she couldn't come to those pride meetings anymore, and that i was turning her daughter into a lesbian. her mother would not stop calling me a lesbian all throughout my life. from early childhood, she thought me and her daughter were dating because i was butch and she was femme and we were very close. her mom carried this belief into adulthood, asking her outright if we were lovers. her brother thought we were, too, and taunted us about it.

my own mom weaponized lesbianism against me. she hated how butch i was. she hated that i "looked and acted like a lesbian". she called me a butch and a bulldyke hatefully. she told me not to dress or look certain ways or else people would assume i, and her by some proxy, were lesbians. my mom was insanely butch so i don't really know why this was being leveraged against me but either way when i became a young adult and my mom was trying to force me to learn to drive (something i am terrified of doing due to having 2 dissociative disorders), she asked what kind of car i would ideally like. i said a truck. i was standing there in a purple plaid shirt and she just sighed and went "I knew you were a lesbian." she pointed out my shirt. she was weaponizing lesbophobic and butchphobic stereotypes against me, but either way, reinforcing that i was a lesbian in one capacity or another

i got so tired of my friends harassing me for saying that if i was bi that meant i was straight and i needed to stop calling myself gay because i wasn't, and that it was an "insult" to the gay community. note that nobody gave a singular flying fuck about the bisexual community at all. i was literally bullied out of identifying as bi, because my straight cishet male friends hated it, and my lesbian identifying GF was uncomfortable with it because it made me sound too straight.

the thing is, none of these people asked what being bisexual meant to me.

i actually liked the lesbian community a lot. i really love other lesbians. i have always been attracted to lesbian and butch identifying people for as long as i could remember. i loved seeing strong butch women on TV, even if there were rude jokes. i loved the idea of being a masculine person who is sometimes a queer masculine woman. i loved the idea of being with femmes, i loved queer women and people who took femininity to the next level. i also loved seeing gay men when and wherever they existed. i always felt like i fit right in, and like i was seeing a reflection of a part of myself i needed help discovering.

i have almost always, as long as i can remember, identified as a gay man, and a lesbian, at the same time. my attraction to men, women, and people of all genders is queer no matter what gender of mine is involved. it doesn't matter. i have never felt "half gay half straight" which is why people weaponizing heterosexuality against me as a bisexual forced me to strictly identify as a gay man for almost a decade. it was painful to ignore my butch lesbian side, and to stop identifying as gay, because people would criticize how attractive i found women, and other people

if people had let me exist and explain what bisexuality means to me, they could've understood that bisexual is an inherently deeply queer attraction no matter what genders are involved, but NOBODY cares to listen to the bisexual. everyone LOVES to speak for us because we're just "straight people invading the queer community."

we've had it. bisexuals are queer. even if they DO identify as "half straight" they're STILL queer. let bisexuals define bisexuality. there is no one size fits all form of bisexuality. every single bisexual defines it differently and that's the point. it's a very complex identity with many layers that often relate to gender and presentation as well as attraction.

let bisexuals define bisexuality.

[miabebe]

Camp Seventeen Chapter 5 Teaser

Hello my lovelies! Yes I've been gone for a while and by a while I mean a really long time and I truly apologise that life has been so busy butttt as I promised, I'm not abandoning this blog or these stories so here we goooo

I know I left Chapter 4 with a huge cliffhanger months ago, so I hope this teaser can help ease your minds a little! Lots more happening in the chapter to come sooooon

I will also get to all the asks and comments soon, be patient with me my loves <3

You hugged your knees as your eyes drifted towards the figure walking along the edge of the waters. 

It had been over an hour since Seungcheol began strolling by the lake, lost in his thoughts. It had also been just about the same time since you sat on the damp soil, watching him. Mentally, you were navigating your own maze of thoughts too, but your eyes couldn’t seem to leave him. Even from this far you could tell his expression was pained - he was hurting.

And so were you. 

You couldn’t think of a more cruel joke the universe could possibly play on you… actually you could - if the Scrolls of Sacrifice expected the two of you to literally kill each other. Thank god Jeonghan noticed your vacant expression staring at the paper and clarified it. 

“To sacrifice means to give up. You have to let go of whatever is written on that paper…. for eternity.” 

For eternity. 

You hadn’t even had the chance to dream of that with Seungcheol. The two of you had only just sorted out all the confusion and found yourselves on the same page… till another piece of paper from Olympus had ripped right through it. 

Letting out an audible breath, you finally tore your eyes from him and fixed it on the sun setting far away, making its way home into the waters. You suppose no matter how bright a day is, it always ends with a night - maybe darkness in your life too was inevitable. Only difference was tomorrow the sun would rise again but no amount of time could change what was fated for you and Seungcheol. 

It’s the snap of the twig that pulled you out of your spiraling thoughts.

You knew it wasn’t because of Seokmin who had stationed himself more than a few metres from you - you supposed after your extended lingering underwater a few days back, he had his guard up. The sound came from behind you but when you looked over your shoulder, there was no one. 

Wonwoo. 

“I can never truly be alone anywhere, can I?” Groaning, you turned back towards the water. “For fuck’s sake, you don’t always have to be around. I can survive on my own.” 

But you didn’t want to, did you? 

Clearly, you were lashing out - there was nothing remotely warm about your tone but how could there be when time and again, life insisted on submerging you in cold, cold waters. Still, it wasn’t Wonwoo’s fault - he didn’t deserve the hostility. 

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled. “My head’s not in the right place…. it hasn’t been for a while.” Not with still not knowing why Hestia abandoned you, how the Chimaera is your father, your strange abilities with fire, the confusing dynamics of the camp… everything was a mess. “I need to fix things but I don’t know how.” 

That was not true. You knew how. You knew exactly how, but you also knew that meant you would hurt a lot more than you are now. 

When you landed your gaze on Seungcheol again, he had finally stopped pacing around, his eyes fixed on you. Behind him, to no one’s surprise, you could see Jeonghan walking away, but not before his eyes flickered between the two of you. Earlier, Seungcheol looked lost, but now, it seemed like he had some clarity. Gesturing you to follow, he began walking away.

“Wonwoo.” You straightened yourself out, getting up on your feet. “Can you come pick me up from the Forest of Nyx? I’m going to need a ride back to camp.” 

The drive to the forest was silent, except for the consistent lightning and thunder that followed the car. And the pouring rain. 

You knew the two of you had a lot to say to each other but it had to be away from the watchful eye of Zeus - even without seeing much, He had seen enough. It was only when you entered the forest, driving past the burnt tree that everything drowned out - the noise, the silence, the pretense. Only the rawest and most honest version of the two of you was left. Turning the engine off, Seungcheol let out a deep breath, words not leaving him. You couldn’t even see the expression on his face with the way darkness was submerging everything, not until a strange illumination was gently cast on his face.

Turning your head you glanced out of the window, eyes falling on the thousands of tiny golden lights rising from the bushes…. fireflies. 

Mesmerised, you opened the door and stepped out, eyes wandering over the way the dark forest had come alive with the light. You didn’t hear Seungcheol follow your actions, not until he walked up to you, holding his hand out in a fist. When you frowned at it confused, he unraveled it to reveal a small bug in the middle of his palm. It looked like it was…dying. The light in it flickered as it hovered unsteadily, like it was on the last leg of its existence.

Seungcheol looked at it pitably as slowly you held your hand out beside his and using the last of its energy it jumped into your palm, the light almost fully giving out. You had almost mourned the loss of miniscule creature you barely even knew but somehow, to your surprise, the moment it touched your skin, it shone brighter than ever. It was like the light had been poured back into it, making it glow once again but this time with a colour much different from those around it - a deep, dark orange. 

That was…. Your fire. 

Your eyes followed it as it flew away, blending into the sea of floating lights, as Seungcheol watched you. There was a slight dampness in your eyes he couldn’t quite fathom and as much as he wanted to ask, there was something other than the fireflies that was lingering in the space between the two of you that he had to address. 

“Y/n, I think-”

“You should take Zeus’s deal.” 

Seungcheol blinked at you expressionlessly as you turned to him. 

“What did you say?”

“I think you should do it.” You gulped, hoping he wouldn’t hear the way your voice shook. “You deserve the Mark of Zeus Cheol, you’ve been wanting it for so long-”

“I have and I do want it but I want you too.” He held your hand, gripping it tight like he was scared of it slipping away. “I want to choose you too Y/n-”

“Choosing the Mark would mean choosing me too.” You pulled your hand away from him slowly. “Being Zeus’s heir is good for everyone, Cheol. We will undeniably win the quest and we can all go back to normalcy. I can go back to a normal life and so can you, don’t you want that?” 

“But if I sacrifice you for the Mark, there is no version of normal where you and I can ever be together.” Seungcheol sighed, his voice going soft. “Once I make a deal with the Oracle of Delphi, I’m tied to it for life - even if I become the Ruler of the Heavens. A binding like that is…. for eternity.” 

Jeonghan’s words echoed in your ears…. for eternity. 

“There is one way though.” If you didn’t know Seungcheol better, you wouldn't have been able to tell that this wasn’t his most confident self. “It was Jeonghan’s idea really but.... I could turn down the scroll tomorrow and Jeonghan can take over as leader of the camp. He will get the Mark of Athena somehow, he swore to. Then when the camp is free and he becomes one of the Gods of Olympus, through him, we can get Hestia to answer whatever you want-”

“And you really believe that’s possible?” 

As much as Jeonghan maddened you in a hundred and one aspects, you couldn’t help but admire how that man would do anything and everything for his friend. But you knew this was not what Seungcheol truly wanted. 

“Do you know how many ‘ifs’ this is based on Cheol? What if Jeonghan doesn’t get the Mark?-”

“If he said he, I will I trust him to-”

“What if he doesn’t end up being a leader as good as you?-”

“I will still be his second in command, the camp will always have me-”

“What if he can’t convince other camps that he is good enough and they don’t become our allies-”

“I will make sure it happens Y/n-”

“What if the team doesn’t win the Quest?-”

“I will make us win goddammit!” He slammed his hand on the car with a resounding bang, finally losing his cool. “Do you think I would abandon the team in any way? I would give my life for the boys if it came down to it-”

“Exactly Cheol.” 

You sighed, taking his hand in yours, rubbing the red skin of his palm softly. 

Camp Seventeen meant everything to this man. All this while Seungcheol had been saying that he wanted both you and the boys, never that he would choose you over them. Because he couldn’t- he could never bring himself to put anyone above them and that didn’t madden you one bit. You liked that about him, a lot - you liked how dedicated he was to his people to the point where he was even willing to step down as Chief if it meant having it all but the truth was, Seungcheol was a natural leader. It would kill him on the inside to be someone on the sidelines and you didn’t think you could be the one to put him there. If you followed what he suggested you would never completely have him to yourself - a part of him would always be lost and the last thing you wanted to do was to put Seungcheol through that. You couldn’t be what breaks him like that. 

“The team needs you and you need the team - you need to be the leader and you need to get the Mark of Zeus, that is only right.” 

“At the cost of us?”

He wasn’t getting it. He was swept away by what the two of you had shared less than 24 hours ago and clearly, it was clouding his judgement. When that fog eventually cleared, he would surely regret all this and neither of you would be able to make peace with that.

“What even is ‘us’ Cheol?” You knew deep down he was hurting, but you were about to break his heart all over again. But it was important that you do it - this heartbreak would save him a lifetime of pain and regret. “Yes we’re attracted to one another and we like each other, sure, but this…. This isn’t love.” 

Seungcheol’s voice faltered like it was stuck in his throat. “You don’t think this is….” 

“We’ve barely known each other for a few weeks, how can this be love?” 

This time, it was him who pulled his hand away from you. 

“Cheol, you’re… you’re not in love, are you? Because I…. I’m not.” 

The silence that followed was perhaps exactly what heartbreak sounded like. But this was the only way Seungcheol would be guilt free when he chooses the Mark over you - if he felt like you abandoned him instead of him leaving you. 

“Why would you pick me over the Mark when I cannot even guarantee there is an ‘us’ in the future?” You scratched the back of your neck, trying to be discreet about it - thank god Seungcheol didn't know that was your tell when you lied. “And in all this, did you even consider what I want? I want to speak to Hestia Cheol, to my mother - contacting her is the only thing I’ve been trying to do since the moment I came to camp. Did you even think how important this was for me? Or was it only just about you?”

You expected Seungcheol to be mad at you for labelling him as someone that selfish. You needed him to be mad at you for this to work, you needed him to hate you enough to let you go. 

Instead Seungcheol’s expression softened and he shook his head slowly. 

“I’m so sorry Y/n.” Regardless of all your efforts, he still looked at you guilt stricken. “I knew you wanted to speak to her but I didn’t think you longed for it this much.” 

“That’s because we like each other Cheol but we don’t know each other. Then how can we be confident about a lifetime together and give up all that's at stake?”

Seungcheol was silent for a minute that felt far too long.

“You’re right. The possibility of us cannot and should not be greater than your need for your mother.” He nodded, taking a step back. “I’m sorry I didn’t know the gravity of it Y/n - I would sacrifice myself a hundred times over if it meant that you got to meet your mother even once.” 

And there it was. Seungcheol would let this go for your happiness and you would do the same for him and even if the two of you were not in love with each other yet, what was this if not the beginning of it? 

Just a little overwhelmed you turned to him and slid your arms around his waist, burying your face in his shoulder. Almost immediately, Seungcheol wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight. 

“I’m sorry if anything I said was hurtful Cheol, I was just trying to-”

“Don’t apologise, you were right-” He gently stroked your back like he was trying to comfort you. “-about almost everything.... You said what we shared wasn’t love and yeah, maybe it isn’t the kind that fights against all odds to stay together, but….. I do think it is the kind of love there is in letting go.” 

You pulled back, looking into his eyes, finding them just as slightly damp as yours were. There indeed was love in letting go. 

“Hey.” He chuckled softly, cradling your face with his hand. “There's nothing to worry about. I’m going to be the best leader Olympus has ever seen and you’re going to…have the best talk of your life with your mum.” 

You laughed. “Yours sounds a lot cooler than mine.” 

“Maybe it is, but I hope you get the answers you’re seeking from her Y/n. You deserve to have a free and the best possible version of your life you can build.” 

Nodding gratefully, you leaned in, kissing Seungcheol softly as he melted into it. 

“I’m going to miss that.” He whispered against your mouth. “Maybe when I become king I will overthrow the Oracle of Delphi one day just to do this again.” 

You laughed, pressing your forehead against his. “Aren’t you an ambitious one?” 

Seungcheol smiled back and somehow, he looked happier than you had ever seen him and you knew why. Because he had the biggest heart and knowing he could finally help both his team and you was good enough for him. You were the world’s unluckiest fool to let him go….but you had to. 

Pulling away, you looked behind you at the entrance of the forest, mumbling under your breath. 

“Wonwoo isn’t here yet.” 

“Wonwoo?”

“Yeah I…. I didn’t know how things were going to go between us so I asked him to come pick me up.” 

“Wonwoo doesn’t leave the camp at night though.” Seungcheol stuffed his hands in his pockets. “It's defenceless without him.”

Oh. 

“It's okay, I can give you a ride back home. It’s my duty as leader to ensure you’re safe.” 

You smiled, half rolling your eyes. “I know, I just…” You looked around the fireflies still lighting up the forest with a soft glow. “Tomorrow feels ages away - I don’t think I can sleep tonight.”

Seungcheol looked far off lost in thought before his face shone bright like he had an idea. “Give me five minutes.”  

You frowned, watching him as he opened the doors of the backseat of his car and began hurriedly working with something inside. True to his words, in five minutes, he had pushed the seats down flat, brought out comfortable looking throws and pillows and made a cozy little space at the back. As you clambered in from the door of the boot, tiny fireflies followed you into the space and Seungcheol got in too, with a bunch of snacks in his hands.

“Okay.” He clapped his hands. “What do you want to do to pass the time? I have books if you want to read or we could just listen to music? Oh or we could watch a movie?” He began looking around for something. “I have a projector and a screen, I just need to find the remote, one second-” 

“Cheol.” 

He turned to you.

You didn’t know if it was the unnecessary romantic setting of the fireflies and the cozy set up of the car or the fact that you felt closer to him now than ever, but the words just left your mouth. 

“Sleep with me. One last time.” 

[beepborpdoodledorp]

alright, I'm in need of a palate cleanser, TADC Episodes ranking because why not

Now that Episode 4's marked the (almost) halfway point of the show it's as good a time as any to do a personal ranking and also I want to procrastinate working on more angsty fanart as much as possible for my own sanity

Mystery of Mildenhall Manor

What is there that I can even add to this conversation, the episode is fucking stellar. Pomni and Kinger's dynamic is impeccable start to end and I'm a sucker for anything remotely resembling the found family trope so that just further elevates my opinion, and as both an avid Zooble enjoyer and a very un-cis person their subplot hit me hard. And oh my God, the hallway scene, it's still my single favorite moment in the entire show. The soundtrack, the atmosphere, the gorgeous visuals, the emotional build-up from the conversation beforehand, I want to just absorb the essence of this scene into my bone structure. I've watched this episode twice so far and both times the hallway scene almost made me cry. I'd recommend this in a heartbeat to someone who isn't even interested in TADC or the wider genres it belongs to, it's just that fucking good. 

2. Fast Food Masquerade

It is. Probably not that hard to figure out where I stand on this episode considering how much I've been annoying every TADC tag under the sun the past 72 hours. I absolutely adored this episode, was literally everything I wanted and more based on the promo material. I love Gangle, her storyline about hiding her depression hit way too hard, I love Zooble, I love Gangle and Zooble being gay as fuck, I love Ragatha being absolutely fried the entire episode, I love Jax showing three whole seconds of human decency. Gummigoo. Oh my God. With how much praise I just threw Episode 3's way it's probably weird to learn I actually think Episode 4 is an overall better episode (by a very thin margin, but still), it just gave us a lot more interactions and development with the group as a whole which is something we were mostly lacking in up until this point usually due to the group being separated at some point or another during an adventure. In all honesty if Episode 3 didn't have the hallway scene I'd probably put it in this spot, but it does and the hallway scene fucks so Episode 4 is down here. 

3. Candy Carrier Chaos

Again, what can I even add to this conversation. A great expansion after our first taste of TADC, Gummigoo solos, I love sentient AIs undergoing existential crises as they come to terms with the implications of their existence. My one major complaint (which I had back when the episode first released and it's just been amplified with the last two episodes' releases) is just that we don't get much content of any of the main cast besides Pomni, their interactions are surface-level and don't offer us basically anything new from what we saw of them in the pilot. But that also wasn't what the episode was about so I can mostly give it a pass.

4. PILOT

The pilot was a very good jumping off point for the series and is decent as a standalone, but after rewatching it about a month or two back I don't think it's aged all that well. Again, it's still a perfectly fine watch and does its job of setting up all the stepping stones for the series, but the best way I can describe the pilot is…cluttered. It's just a lot of information and events you need to fit into one twenty-minute episode, so most of the episode goes at a breakneck pace in between a lot of back-to-back jokes that sometimes miss the mark (mostly the fault of Caine, I love him but he is definitely a character who is most effective in short bursts of screentime). You can definitely tell they were still trying to get a feel of things while making this episode and that's completely fine! It's a pilot, that's the whole point. Just doesn't really hold up when compared to its successors.

[lycandrophile]

hey i know your post about your mom was mostly just a personal vent, but i have to say, do you realize that also happens with trans girls and their fathers? literally happened to one of my friends. i’m not trying to downplay your experience or something but i found it strange that you seem to think this is something that only affects transmascs

i have one question for you: so fucking what?

i don’t doubt that trans girls have experienced similar things and yeah, that’s bad too, but what the fuck does that have to do with me and the specific things i’m facing as a result of being a trans man? i never said “look at this thing that happens to ONLY trans men and NO ONE ELSE,” i just said “hey, isn’t this thing that happens to a lot of trans men, including myself, fucked up?”

i would also like to point out that what you’re talking about is in fact a different (albeit similar) thing. the way cis people treat trans people can differ dramatically based on the cis person’s gender because their commitment to gender roles is, like, a major part of problem. the specific way a cis mother reacts to her trans son’s transition is often going to be very distinct, while a cis father will likely respond to his trans daughter in a different but equally distinct way.

what i’m talking about is a very specific kind of ownership and control and self-victimization and total lack of boundaries masquerading as love and care and maternal concern that cis women (i would argue white cis women in particular) project onto their transmasc kids when we do literally anything to our bodies. i’m talking about a phenomenon which is closely related to the way moms often pass eating disorders onto their daughters (or children they view as daughters) because they see a body that looks something like theirs and project all of their insecurities and ideals onto it. i’m talking about a form of parental transphobia and projection that’s specific to the dynamic of a cis mother and her child who was “supposed to” be her daughter.

if you’ve never felt that, you’re not even remotely qualified to tell me shit about how i should be talking about that experience, and if you couldn’t recognize that experience when you read my post, i’m guessing you probably haven’t experienced it because the replies to that post made it very clear to me that anyone who has experienced it firsthand immediately knew exactly what i meant.

like, yeah, cis dads also project onto their trans daughters, but are they likely to have a reaction like running away with actual tears streaming down their face? do you expect them to passive aggressively make comments about how sad their kid’s transition makes them, how it’s such a difficult emotional time, how it’s so tragic because their kid’s body was so beautiful before? do you think their go-to transphobic reaction will be weaponizing their emotions? i’m sure there are some dads out there who are like that, but i think we can agree they’re in the minority because that’s not how cis men are taught to react and parents like this tend to be pretty damn committed to following the gender roles they were taught.

and even if i’m wrong and our experiences are exactly the same, let me reiterate that i never said this was an experience exclusive to trans men. all i said is that it happens to us. that’s just a statement of objective fact.

this started in my life when i got my hair cut short for the first time almost a decade ago and it has not stopped since. i’ve watched my mom cry over me changing my name and respond to being asked if my happiness matters more to her than my name by saying “i care about both”, i’ve watched her melt down in a mall over me getting a suit for prom and give me the silent treatment for days after, i’ve heard her plead with me to stop t because it “looks unnatural” and she’s just so “concerned for my health”, i’ve watched her stare at me post-op and say “my poor baby” over and over like she’s looking at my corpse in a casket. i’ve watched her turn herself into the victim of every single aspect of my transition. i’ve had to live with this for 9 years and spent the early years of the pandemic literally locked in a house with it. this has been my entire adolescent and adult life, and the question of if i’ll have to cut her off someday (and maybe never see my cat or my little cousins who i love more than anything in the world ever again as a result) haunts me every single day.

who the fuck are you to tell me how to talk about that?

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

I was going through my blog for the past few months when SUDDENLY

Truly I love when one of my posts ages like fine wine. Gourmet cheese, even. I have never felt more validated in my entire life XD Literally the only thing that was possibly disproven here was that, as @baldwinboy5ive has pointed out, Yasmine never confirms she actually likes bleunamis and we can't say for sure that that wasn't just Demetri assuming she did ^^;

"Ohhhhh it makes no sense Demetri cheated on Yasmine! He's obsessed with her! He worships her! Like I don't even like the ship but this is how he acts in canon!" Besties how do I explain to you that Demetri is not obsessed with Yasmine, not even a little bit. He's not even obsessed with the idea of her, although he might have been at some point. He SAYS he's obsessed with Yasmine, and he clearly wants the people around him to THINK he's obsessed with Yasmine. But his actions do not remotely indicate that, and never have.

If Demetri was actually obsessed with Yasmine at any point, we would know such things as what her hobbies are, what her hopes and dreams in life are, where she wants to go to college, what kind of job she wants to have, which school subjects she's okay at and which ones she struggles with, or literally like. Anything else that makes her a person. We as the audience don't know any of these things because Demetri, who should know a good chunk of this information if not all of it, has never made a single mention of anything Yasmine-related beyond the most obvious and surface-level details.

Unfortunately, throughout S6, Demetri forgets Yasmine's existence every time she walks offscreen. And even when there would be a natural opportunity to bring her up, i.e. when the kids are talking about college, Demetri does not make a single peep about her or how she factors into his post-high-school plans. Even in S4 and S5, Demetri only brings up Yasmine's existence a couple of times (once when talking to Eli about how karate helped him land a hot girl, and once when trying to give Miguel relationship advice for his own girlfriend). Neither of these are Yasmine-specific--Demetri talks about her like she fills the "girlfriend" role in his life and has no importance in of herself. Eli should get back into karate because karate got Demetri a hot girlfriend! Demetri is justified in giving Miguel girl tips because he has a hot girlfriend! It could literally be anyone and the way Demetri treats her and talks about her wouldn't change.

Moreover, if Demetri was as obsessed with Yasmine as he claims, they would maybe have one (1) conversation that wasn't about Demetri and his shit. Their relationship is all about him, and Yasmine revolving herself around him and his needs. She cares about karate because of him! She cares about nerd shit because of him! He plans their dates and orders food he assumes she will like without her actually indicating she will! And when, pray tell, has Demetri ever embraced, asked about, or indicated even minimal knowledge of Yasmine's interests???

Not. One. Fucking. Time. He barely ever talks about her and we have no proof he knows anything about her. That is literally the farthest thing from obsession. I can tell you as an ex middle school girl who was not immune to intensive and all-consuming crushes, I could probably write biographies for all my objects of affection solely based off of info they had mentioned to me or things I found out secondhand. I retained all of it, and I fixated on it. I talked about their lives nonstop and bored the shit out of all my friends. THAT is obsession. THAT is worship.

"But he calls her queen! He calls her goddess!" These are...not uncommon pet names for people who are dating. And in any case, pet names do not mean shit. Guys will call girls "baby" or "sweetheart" or "honey" and then abuse them and treat them like garbage. If anything, lavish, extra-ass pet names like "my goddess" can actually be used as a subtle manipulation tactic. Because hey, if I'm calling you something that implies I kiss the ground you walk upon, then maybe you won't notice that I never ask a single question or remember a single thing of substance about you, right? If I TALK like you're my whole world and then some, then maybe you won't notice that I am meeting your emotional needs at all because I do not actually know or understand you at all!

Now, I don't think Demetri is truly so much of a piece of shit that he's manipulating Yasmine intentionally. I think the over-the-top pet names are just one more thing he's using to sell the image that he is a Totally Normal Guy Who Is Thrilled To Be With This Hot Girl and cover up the fact he is not actually into or interested in her at all. More on this later.

"But it's because Demetri and Yasmine barely get any screentime! Demetri hasn't brought up any details about Yasmine because it's not relevant to the story!" And let's stop to think about why that is, eh? Demetri doesn't consider his partner to be worth a mention or even a passing thought in regard to...literally everything else in his life. And in S3, S4, and S6, Demetri gets plenty of screentime to maybe like. Say one (1) substantial thing about Yasmine. And the crazy thing is that it could incorporate seamlessly into the "comic relief side guy" role they are often determined to keep Demetri in. Imagine Demetri yapping at karate practice about designer fashion or nail salons or something else Yasmine talks to him about, and Johnny overhears and is like "ha! I knew he was a weird sissyboy!"Only to find out he got into these things by proxy via his incredibly hot girlfriend. Like it would NOT be hard to use this relationship for one-off jokes that would be on-brand for this show's humor, and yet. They don't. Instead of seeming even mildly interested in his girlfriend's existence, the showrunners have Demetri make pop culture references and situational snarky comments.

Now, you're probably wondering why someone like Demetri, who usually unapologetically does what he wants and doesn't give a shit if people don't like it, would initiate and stay in a relationship that he does not actually want to be in. And the reason, to me, is simple: He wants to fit in.

Demetri, from the beginning, has struck me as someone who doesn't have much interest in girls and dating, but wants people to think he does to appear "normal." Admitting he doesn't care about something most teenage boys obsess over would instantly "other" him and make him an even bigger target for bullying, which we know he's been dealing with for some time. And then, when Miguel and Eli both show overt interest in girls and get girlfriends, the pressure only increases. At this point, he's already worried they're going to leave him behind because of karate. The last thing he needs is something to cement to the two best friends embracing traditional masculinity that he's some kind of abnormal freak, and something they need to shed so as not to ALSO be seen as freaks.

(The why of Demetri's disinterest in girls and dating is irrelevant here, but for what it's worth, I think the simplest and most straightforward answer is that he's closeted and gay. If you don't see that, however, it's also possible he's acearospec. OR he just...is not impressed by any of the people he meets as dating prospects and maybe wants to wait until college to find a more meaningful connection with someone than just "they're hot and we have spicy make-out sessions." But in the world of high school boys--especially the toxic masculinity-obsessed world of Cobra Kai--this is NOT something you can ever outright say if you want people to respect you.)

Flash forward to Demetri getting with Yasmine, and attaining the safely unattainable. What is he supposed to do here that won't expose the "otherness" he's been trying to hide all along? He still has no real interest in her--he never did, and now he has to worry that might become apparent. Even when he (presumably) gets to know her, it's clear he's not too engaged or captivated, considering how he never demonstrates knowing any more about her than he did in S1. And he can't break up with her, considering all the unwanted attention that would bring. Because WHY WHY WHY would he give up every sane, NORMAL guy's dream??? Demetri's life may be in a more stable place--Miguel and Eli are his best friends again and he has a wider friend circle on the whole--but for all he knows, the only reason he was able to achieve this kind of happiness was BECAUSE he conformed. He got a hot girlfriend--the apparent ULTIMATE mark of social status in this dudebro-run universe--and if he willingly gives that up, he could lose everything. If he admits he doesn't want a girlfriend just for "having a girlfriend's sake," maybe Miguel and Eli will reject him. Maybe the rest of his friends and support system will, too. After all, so many of the people in Demetri's network are in relationships--Sam, Miguel, Robby, Tory, Eli, Moon. Hell, even his senseis! Johnny is dating Carmen, and Daniel is happily married. Being single by choice would make Demetri the odd one out. And after the abandonment issues he developed in S2, no way in HELL is he doing anything to jeopardize his support network.

And that brings us to Barcelona. Demetri got a significant confidence boost from beating Eli in the flag fight, and is starting to realize that he's more desirable to girls than he thought. Maybe he doesn't have to settle for Yasmine as a cover-up if there are other girls out there who could fill that role. Because that is all it is--a role. We have every reason to believe Demetri doesn't value romantic entanglements with girls for their own sake; to him, they're just a tool for showing off his coolness via "look! I get bitches!" as well as a means of fitting in with his peers.

So here comes Maria, offering Demetri a chance to show off just how cool and baller he is to his peers via giving him the ultimate thing men should strive for in this universe--girl attention. Demetri doesn't need Yasmine anymore. She's thousands of miles away, and there's a girl right in front of him who will help him project the image he wants. Why should he be concerned with a girl he only ever pretended to like to maintain appearances? Hell, maybe there's even some resentment there, if Demetri legitimately felt like he couldn't break up with Yasmine without subjecting himself to social scrutiny.

Add this to Demetri's falling out with Eli, and it gives him even more motivation to dance with Maria. Note how Eli is the one initially checking out Maria--enough so that Demetri slaps him like "you have a girlfriend!" And when Maria comes over, Eli feels like he has to say no out of principle. Demetri sees an opportunity to get under Eli's skin via dancing with a girl he's attracted to, and hey--it works, doesn't it?

Worth noting that Eli is ALSO a pretty shit boyfriend who knows basically nothing about Moon, but unlike Demetri, he has a more clear-cut feeling of "I shouldn't do this because it would be wrong." Demetri, meanwhile, is either so numbed out from the guilt of using Yasmine for his image that he wouldn't have any left to feel for cheating OR he knew what he was doing from the jump, in which case...why the hell would he feel even an iota of guilt for cheating, or hesitance to do so?

I suspect it's the former, since Demetri isn't like...a sociopath. But I do think he has been using Yasmine for quite some time now, whether he actively feels bad about it or not. And that's so clearly and obviously wrong that, in Demetri's mind, it dwarfs any "wrongness" of dancing with someone else when you're technically in a relationship. So might as well have some fun and make Eli mad, right?

"But you're biased because you ship Eli and Demetri!" Bizarrely enough, a lot of the complaints about the cheating plotline are coming from...other Elimetri shippers. At first I thought it was kind of funny (like...can't we just take the win and be happy, guys? Can't we celebrate the fact we've been saying Demetri doesn't give a rat's ass about his performative het relationship, and we were proven correct?), but now it's starting to get on my nerves. I feel like a lot of people in this fandom like Demetri not for what he is, but this like...kooky goofy funny wholesome comic relief guy they've built up in their head. Or people SAY they love his Villain Arc and want him to be a horrible cunt in Part 2, and then they flip tf out and claim he's OOC when he actually DOES do morally questionable things. The Demetri fandom apparently can't handle him being flawed if it's not in like...a safe and sanitized way where he doesn't act like thaaaaaaaat much of a jerk.

And what's even MORE frustrating is the way people are spazzing out over Demetri being flawed in a way that is VERY MUCH supported by what we have seen of his character for the rest of the show. Yes, he WOULD cheat, actually! Yes, it DOES make sense for him to cheat on a woman with another woman as a closeted gay boy (or something else significantly outside the cishet norm)--he has no real investment in his romantic relationships with women! the people around him seem to indicate that "getting chicks" is the ultimate mark of prowess, badassery, and success. Demetri figures "Hey, as long as I'm doing that, it doesn't matter who the fuck the chicks actually are. I just need to meet my Normal Heterosexual Quota before I go do something I actually give a shit about, like playing Dungeon Lord."

All this can be true, by the way, without Demetri being an absolute steaming shitpile of a person. We KNOW he has redeeming traits! He's incredibly loyal to and protective of his friends, and has been especially ride-or-die for Miguel, Eli, and Sam. He loves playing the entertainer, and he clearly eats it up whenever he makes Eli or one of his other friends laugh. He's sweet and loving with his female friends like Moon and Sam (which makes it all the more apparent to me that he...doesn't really care about Yasmine tbh. He has far healthier relationships with his platonic friends than his own partner!). He found it in him to forgive his best friend for some truly heinous shit, and probably would have been content for it all to be water under the bridge if not for the college debacle. Demetri is not unilaterally a bad person because he caved to the pressure to have a girlfriend and then...dealt with it poorly when he realized he didn't actually want her. His flaws and shortcomings are what make him interesting!

So often people see him in this really black and white way that really does his character a disservice. It's always "my Demetri is the bestest kindest gentlest most caring boy in the world and would NEVER cheat!" or "Demetri is absolute TRASH because he cheated on his girlfriend even though Miguel did too and we forgave he ass, and now nothing else about him or the context he did it in matters!" It's like no one wants to engage with his complexity, or stop and put some thought into his motivations and mindset before going "IT'S BAD WRITING BECAUSE I WANTED HIM TO BE A GOOD BOY AND HE'S A GOOD MORAL BOY IN MY HEAD AND THEY MADE HIM AN ASSHOLE >:(" Demetri can deeply love and fight for his platonic friends while treating the women he gets romantically involved with as interchangeable and unimportant. Both can be true. And if that makes you uncomfortable--GOOD! People are complicated, and characters that show that and force audiences to reckon with the multifaceted, messy, and often contradictory aspects of human nature are a positive thing. Especially in the age of purity culture writing characters off as The Epitome of Goodness or Pure Evil, I think approaching character analysis with nuance is more important than ever.

And finally...friends, I'm going to be so real with you for a second. I, the person behind this account, am a woman. I have dated and been in relationships with men. And frankly, it concerns me that it took cheating for a good chunk of this fandom to recognize Demetri is a shit boyfriend. And even now, with pretty infallible proof he's a bad boyfriend, I still see people in denial, saying "he wouldn't fucking do that to Yasmine! It was OOC! Why did they randomly have him decide to treat his girlfriend badly!" Ladies and gentlemen, have we been watching the same show??? He has never ever treated his girlfriend well, swinging back and forth between othering her as this larger-than-life Concept™️ and showing their relationship off like a prize. He uses her as a vessel to project what he wants onto and tell all his problems to. Just because Demetri isn't outright abusive and insulting Yasmine every 5 minutes doesn't mean he isn't toxic as hell. Their relationship has always been all about Demetri, and he only values Yasmine insofar as she can stroke his ego and fit the nebulous "dream girl" mold he's cooked up.

And I am pleading for women who like men to demand better than what Demetri Alexopoulos has to give. I mean, first of all, please get a better gaydar, because I have met an astounding number of irl gay men that remind me of that boy XD So if you meet a guy who's Demetri-coded to an above average degree...definitely double and triple-check he hasn't got you lined up to be his next beard before you get your heart broke ^^;

In all seriousness though, ladies. I know society is always telling us shit like "ohhhhh find a guy who's OBSESSED with you and WORSHIPS you and calls you a QUEEN!", but none of that means jack shit if a man doesn't want to actually learn anything about you and humanize you as more than an ideal. It's hard to be able to have good, thoughtful conversations with someone and be silly and goofy and relaxed and your most authentic self when you're constantly yelling down from the pedestal they put you on ^^; And please, for the love of god!!! I don't care HOW much you like a guy, you get the hell out of there if every single one of your conversations is about him. Romance is meant to be a partnership, not a girl erasing her entire personality and then some to cheer on a boy who does not even know where she's going to fucking college. Know your worth, seek better, demand better. Never settle for some dipshit who forgets about you every time you walk out the room because he called you "golden goddess."

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk 🩵 TL;DR I fully support the Demetri cheating plot and hope it will eventually be the wake-up call people need to see this man was NEVER a good boyfriend to Yasmine Nolastname. I'm so happy she finally realized she deserves better than being some gayboy's beard cheerleader coolness trophy, and I wish her the best of luck in pursuing people who actually want to fuck women ♀️

[wellofdean]

Sorry ,for me personally, it has to be out loud acknowledge to even remotely make up for how badly they treated fans over the years, the out loud queerbaiting in one breath and mocking in the next. The in text gay jokes, sexism and homophobia. The digs at their own fans.

They want the credit without having to do it. Again. They want the pat on the back they need to earn it this time.

Years of baiting for views and profit needs a payoff imo. Sorry people downplaying how important the canonization of this ship in particular is just hurts to see over and over. Stop letting them off the hook please. You deserve more. We all do.

It’s important. It does matter.

The cas/destiel hope baiting continued with the Winchesters and that’s why I’m at a put up or shut up moment with Jensen and the writers. He and Danneel kept the hype up every week that the show was airing all the while knowing cas doesn’t even get a name drop. He’s not even hinted at. Mary/john paralleled destiel so many times yet refused to call it want it was.

They could have shut it down week one, they interacted on tweeter a lot during airing and knew what fans thought there was going to be an acknowledgment or hint that never happened. They are smart people, they saw the speculation and hype but didn’t step in with a gentle ‘sorry guys this is about the new crew’ they fanned the hope instead with ‘something big happens’ that was just dean meeting the new team.

Loved the Winchesters as a show, sad it got dropped cause I loved the new cast so much. That said the baiting hurt and wasn’t necessary, the show was good.

Everyone is looking back with rose colored glasses and rewriting history. But things were ugly with the spn team/cast/writers at times. The homophobia was pretty out loud in a way it was allowed to be in the early 00s. They’ve grown and that’s wonderful but it still happened.

They need to earn the praise they want imo. No hate! Glad you are happy! just feels a little unfair to say we should all let them off the hook again and be happy with nothing while praising the benevolent straights. Just my two cents 😅💚💙

I want to answer this sympathetically, because I know it's disappointing that no one has been willing to just say "Dean and Cas are gay for each other" out loud, and I don't think there are many people in this fandom who picked up what the narrative was putting down, and were not disappointed in the finale for LOADS of reasons, only one of them being that Dean never had the chance to acknowledge what Cas said to him. I understand your feelings, my anonymous friend, I really do. I too found the end of Supernatural deeply frustrating, because they managed to erase the meaningful journeys of every single character, not just Dean, though what they did with Dean was the worst. I completely understand wanting them to JUST FUCKING SAY IT. I do. I get you. I simply do not agree.

My argument, which I have made many, many times, is that what you want is THERE in the narrative. They made Cas Dean's ride or die, they made it obvious that Dean can't carry on without Cas -- that the loss of Cas means Dean loses his will to live. That was explicit. They made it clear that more than anyone else, EVEN Sam, Cas is essential to him. They structured the narrative around Dean and Cas's emotional beats. They let Cas say the obvious thing out loud, and then showed us Dean behaving exactly as Dean would in a situation like that -- in the midst of his existential crisis about who he is and whether he has ever had free will, and with the world falling around them -- they showed us Dean unable to speak, unable to respond but overwhelmed with emotion. Like, remember that when Mary died when Dean was four, he was unable to speak? Is it really so hard to imagine that he loves Cas with all his heart? To read love in Dean's watery eyes, and the way he chokes down his heart and begs Cas not to do this? Not to being saying goodbye? I mean... I CAN DO THAT MATH. Literally everything about the story supports it. IT IS THERE.

Fandom always argues: if Cas were a woman, we wouldn't have any questions, so what I am just wondering is, why do we have questions again? Is it because we (homophobically) can't just see it for what it is because it's gay? Because, when it's gay we lose our ability to interpret narrative, and we need to be told, like we are 5 years old, what's happening in a perfectly obvious story? Or, is it a skill issue? Is it because we need the creators of the story to affirm our interpretation? We need the actors to just TELL US what they meant when they did that thing with their faces? Do we need their permission to understand it for what it is?

I've said many times that calling what happened on Supernatural 'queerbaiting' because no one ever made out or fucked on the maps table is really offensive to me actually. Don't you know that there are queer people in this world who never get to live their truths? Who just ache and yearn and want, and never get to have? Like, that there are in fact queer people who are afraid to say what they feel, or who don't understand or embrace who they really are and what they really need until it's too late? Are those not QUEER EXPERIENCES? I love Dean and I love that story because it's queer as hell and it makes ME feel seen, because I am like him! I am a queer person of his age who didn't ask myself those questions seriously enough in time! My own queerness is very fucking real, and it is UNLIVED. That HAPPENS to actual queer humans, and like, it's not queerbaiting when it's just queer, but didn't tell you the queer story YOU wanted it to tell. You saw years of tease? I saw years of choices, and love, and accretion of deep wells of emotion. I saw a clear romance, and a character becoming. It was a story I needed, AS A QUEER PERSON.

And the Winchesters was just joyful if you went in with that understanding of the previous story. It was like getting an A+ in Supernatural week after week from Dean himself. I can accept that the stars didn't align for Cas/Misha to come back in the first season, accept that if he were coming back, it needed to be more than a cameo to make it right, and that it didn't work out. I am so sad it was cancelled, but I can accept that it was leading someplace it didn't get to go. That's not queerbaiting, either! It's telling a story that was aborted, and I think if you don't see that, then that is DEFINITELY a skill issue.

I'm not looking back with rose coloured glasses; Supernatural is fresh in my mind. I watched it again without the internal pressure of expectations that aren't going to be met, and let it tell me what it was really doing all along. I am happy. It's a really compelling, deeply romantic, deeply queer story. I don't need permission from anyone involved to think that, and I don't need it explained to me. I understand wanting it to just be fully explicit, but I would not trade the story it did tell for a simpler, less engaging one, that asked less of me. I love it very much AS IT IS.

And, please: point me to this fabled abuse of fans. I have never really seen an example of it that is not easily debunked with a little bit of context.

[meganwritesfanfics]

Hell I'm just a Kid Myself

Jamie Tartt x Reader

The reader finds out she is pregnant with Jamie's baby and she is terrified of what his response will be when he finds out.

I'm planning on making this a series so feel free to comment what you would like to see moving forward.

Check out Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

____________________________________________________________

She stared at the test sitting on the counter, and it felt like she couldn’t breathe. This couldn’t be happening right now.  The plus sign was staring back at her clear as day. She was pregnant. 

“Baby!” She heard a voice echo through the hallway. The familiar Mancurian accent of her boyfriend that usually brought a smile to her face filled her with dread. “I need to head to practice.” 

“Hey Jamie, I’m not feeling well I will see you when you come home.” 

“Do you want me to pick you up anything? Is it your lady time.” Jamie asked and a comment like that would have usually made Y/N roll her eyes and laugh but the reality of the situation at hand had her terrified. 

“Um, yeah, if you could pick me up some chocolate that would be great.” She lied the thought of any food making her nauseous. 

“I love you.” Jamie called and her heart broke. 

They hadn’t been dating for even a year, there was no discussion of a future, and now they were faced with it whether they liked it or not. 

As she heard the front door shut and the sound of his Ashton pulling out of the driveway, Y/N slid to the floor. 

“What am I going to do?” She thought. Suddenly she realized there was only one person she needed to talk to, someone who would give her instant clarity. She crawled her way to the bedroom and grabbed her phone. 

“I need you.” She texted before she curled up onto the bed. 

It took what felt like ages but in reality was record time before she heard the doorbell ring. Before she even had the chance to get out a bed, the door bell rang again. Then by the time she made it out of the room he was pounding on the door. 

“Y/N!” He screamed and she knew that if she didn’t hurry he would bust the door down. 

“Jesus Christ,” She sighed as she through open the door. 

“Where is the prick, what did he do?” Roy snapped his eyes wild. 

“I’m pregnant.” 

Roy’s jaw dropped. “Fuuuuuuuuuucccccckkkk.” 

Y/N broke and buried her face into Roy’s chest as she cried. 

By the time she time Y/N finally calmed down her and Roy had made their way to the couch. 

“What did he say when you told him?” Roy asked. 

“I haven’t told him yet, I found out literally a half hour ago.” 

“Fuckin’ hell!” Roy snapped. “You mean to tell me you told me before you told Jamie.” 

“Yes I…” Y/N started. 

“That is far too much pressure! Plus Jamie is going to kill me. Why haven’t you told him?” 

“I don’t know how he is going to react. We haven’t talked about, I mean fuck Roy we haven’t even being dating that long, and he’s only 25. I’m only 27 I don’t and what about his career. I don’t want to ruin that I just…” Y/N panicked. 

“Woah, hey, look at me.” Roy said as he grabbed her hand. “You cannot panic about something when you don’t even know what the outcome is going to be. Jamie is crazy about you.” 

“And I’m crazy about him, but a baby Roy I don’t know what we are going to do.” 

“It is something that you need to discuss with him, and if he does anything remotely prickish I will kill him.” 

Y/N laughed. “You love him and you know it.” 

Roy grunted causing Y/N to laugh even more. 

Y/N gave Roy a large hug. “Thank you for being the best grumpy therapist a girl could as for.” 

Roy cracked a smile. “Give Jaime a chance, I think he will surprise you.” 

“I hope you are right.” Y/N sighed and she could feel the anxiety in her stomach growing. 

Y/N knew that if she stayed at home and waited until Jamie got back that she was going to go absolutely insane, so instead, she made her way to Nelson Road Stadium. 

Roy walked with her and he could see how badly she was shaking as they walked through the halls. 

“Everything is going to be ok.” Roy tried his best to sooth. 

“Yeah, of course.” Y/N replied but she wasn’t sure. 

“Y/N!” The whole team cheered when she came into the locker room. Ever since she started dating Jamie she had become a regular at the Dog Track and all the guys loved her. 

“Hi baby,” Jamie smiled as he wrapped his arms around her and picked her up swinging her around. 

Her heart felt like it was breaking, she couldn’t help but feel that this could be the last moments she had with Jamie. So she held on tighter than she should. 

“Are you ok?” He whispered. 

“Can I talk to you, in private?” She whispered back. 

She could feel Jamie tense up as he set her back down his eyes full of concern as he looked her up and down trying to figure out what was wrong. 

“Ya’ um, this way.” He said as he grabbed her hand and walked her towards the boot room. 

On her way out she caught Roy’s gaze and watched as he mouthed “Good luck.” 

“Is something wrong or did you just want to see me,” Jamie smirked

“I love you Jamie, so much you know that right.” 

Jamie’s face dropped. “What’s wrong, what did I do?” He asked and Y/N watched his jaw clench. 

“Oh Jamie,” Y/N gasped as she grabbed his face in her hands. “Honey, you didn’t do anything, well actually you did, or rather we did, a lot.” 

“I’m confused, are you breaking up with me or…” 

“No God no, I… fuck.” Y/N said her eyes well up with tears. 

“Baby, you are really starting to freak me out, what’s going on?” 

“I’m… I’m pregnant.” 

Jamie laughed. “Jesus, you really freaked me out Y/N I thought something was wrong.” 

Y/N stared at Jamie tears streaming down her face. 

His laughter faded and and she watched as reality hit in. “You’re preg… how?” 

“Jamie, do I really need to explain that to you.” 

“No that’s not what I mean I… you are pregnant.” He gaped. 

Y/N nodded. 

Jamie opened his mouth but no words came out, for the first time since she met him, Jamie Tartt was speechless. 

“Please say something, I’m freaking out and I just need to know what you are thinking.” Y/N pleaded. 

“I…” He started and Y/N could see the tears in his eyes. “I need to get back to practice.” 

Then he pulled Y/N in for a long kiss before he turned and left. 

“Wait Jamie!” She called. “Fuck!” 

The room went silent for a while before she heard the sound of someone quietly moving. 

“Hi Will,” She sighed.

[jazeswhbhaven]

The Encounter of Two Flames | React | Final!

I'm ngl I forgot I didn't do the last day lmaooo but let's do this nowwww.

Even though it's pretty much everyone has seen it already and there's no point in marking it as a spoiler I'm going to go ahead and dive in on this. Now if this is the first post you're seeing of my previous reacts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

If you don't need any of dat, then let's get on with itttt *btw I was wrong and there were only 9 days for the story instead of 10*

But quick recap is that we were left off with Luci showing up to aid Satan after he helped Sitri get over his depressive self-harm moment that nearly burned the entire town down.

Because yah Satan did the thing and ripped his heart out so Sitri could drink his blood from the source like how they first met and junk.

So Luci gave Satan over to Paimon and now Rin is standing up too, the cutie.

Wait...who are you talking to??? <_<

FORASSSSSS???@?@?@?@>

He was spying on them the entire time, it's like I almost forgot Foras could do that lmao I just didn't think this would be remotely relevant...and this is the first time Foras got to meet Lucifer and he was very nice about it.

Wait, Bimet and Eligos now too????? AHHHH>>W>W>????

So Eligos and Bimet were there watching because they share borders and found this important. Eli does admit they should have helped but he's glad it worked out.

ngl Eli the shit was happening for quite a while ya'll sure waited quite a long ass time....

ANYWAYS

Apparently Beel was there well in fly form anyway too. Like did everybody pretty much just show up in Gehenna and just stood around waiting for what Satan would do, I'm kinda being salty about that but when you think about it Satan would of being like "nah"

Mammon ofc was like "Sitri belongs to me so I had to check" and I'm crying because even back then....oh Mammon the man that you are...

Rei is adorable he grabbed onto Luci's sleeve and was trying to say something and I'm like THE BABYYYYYY

He's like a stern older brother lmao

But yeah apparently Jjok can't speak with he is Rei so that answers some speculations. That literally means we won't be hearing that little ridiculous cute squeak toy voice come out of this hot man lol he's literally just silent.

Jjok is so mad lmao he's wondering why he can't speak in his high rank form. So even though we know he can't speak even he doesn't know why he can't.

Luci ofc is like "then don't transform" doing his blunt answer thing and Jjok is like "awh man but I look so coooooolllll" which is on point for his character.

Awh well Jjok has gotta love his fond family more for sure than just someone he admires. I think it's cute of him.

Luci just says to himself that Satan will always have people watching him no matter how small he is. (not everyone still dunking on him for his size goodness)

So we're back in Gehenna after this little scene and Sitri was on probation and all that stuff but Paimon and Leraye are encouraging him to rest up

What's this?

Nah Sitri who you fuckin'?

Tell the class...we won't jump you....cause ya know Solomon ain't there nor is MC so...

who you fuckinnnnnnnnnn

Oh a text? That's who you fuckin' probs I'm callin' it... lmao

So Satan is telling Sitri he's being too mean because the person everyone is wondering who is texting Sitri rn is none other than-

Yup Amy

And Sitri explains that he just wanted to know how he was feeling and that there was other stuff in the text message after that but he said "I ain't readin' all dat" and blocked him lmao

The energy from this devil is real.

Ppyong wonders though why it is that Sitri hates Amy so much when he's normally nice to everyone.

So, how I'm going to interpret this...

I think that Sitri sees himself in Amy, like the brute and feral part of himself that was uneducated and doing just whatever. That raw power and sense of being able to do whatever the fuck he wanted carelessly. He relates to Amy in so many ways it bothers him and he doesn't like being reminded of it, it's like looking at a constant mirror over and over of the behaviors you never want to see that you have of yourself deep down.

But at the same time he can't really blame Amy for that, but unfortunately that's his gripe and his grudge and he won't let go of it no matter what.

And also, it seems that Satan knows truly what it is but because his mischievous and entertained by their banter he doesn't want them to make up like ever.

ugh why won't bae answer my texts like????? LMAO i'm just messin' around.

But at the same time this shit is cute of him. Like he's honestly waiting on a response or like a huge paragraph of Sitri cussin' him out or something

he has a crush on Sitri so bad it's c r a z y.

But anyways he actually cares about him? That's super sweet. I told ya'll in the beginning it seemed like Sitri is way more harsh about their banter than Amy is. On his side it's more like boyish pranks whereas Sitri keeps doing shit to literally inconvenience or damn near kill him lmao

And then it says at the end of this event that the day of Sitri and Amy chilling out on their stuff has yet to come but Gehenna was at peace and their devils are strong and had their own bonds with one another.

And there we have it lovelies. The Satan and Sitri event which kinda felt more like a Sitri event again. I'm slightly disappointed as we didn't really get that much Satan lore and tons more about Sitri instead. I'm actually really starving on some Satan lore because already have so much of the other Kings and barely anything with him...

I'm wondering what the deal is about that. Do the devs just not like Satan as much so therefore put priority into his backstory and other things like his c a r d s on the back burner?

Justice for my OC's man like frfr he out here gettin' crumbs.

But anyways the reason I'd like more insight on him too is that I'm getting into Tokyo Revengers and since this is literally Satan and Belphie's territory in terms of their design and personality type, I'm really just like Y E S ? ? ? MORE??? WHEN ON THE BOIS DAMN.

At any rate I guess we'll all just have wait or just keep griping that we never get anything on Satan and maybe the devs will peep that and listennnn

But thank you all as always for sitting in and reading my stuffs <3 ya'll are cool. Stay simpin' for your faves. -your lovely adminnnnn

[homestuckreplay]

TURNTECH GODHEAD JUMPSCARE!

(page 308-312)

OH PSYCHE????

This asshole came outta fucking NOWHERE right when I was looking at a cool wizard painting on Rose's wall. Truly Dave Strider is just like his raps, always showing up where he's not wanted.

'standing around being all chill, like cool dudes are known to do sometimes' would a cool dude think this? really? I mean, as a sword owner I WILL acknowledge that slashing things with a sword is pretty cool. I bet Dave has a Wii and attaches the remote to a sword. And it's interesting that we open on an action shot of Dave, as he literally forces his way into the story and then starts attacking, compared to John and Rose being more passive.

TT: I must have a weakness for insufferable pricks. (p.63)

TG: and for that matter you should probably wash your hands of flighty broads and their snarky horseshit altogether (p.204)

Both Dave and Rose's 'wrong' names as entered by the player come from pesterlogs where they're talking about the other, which is fun. John's been part of all Pesterchum chats so far, but I really hope we get to see Rose and Dave talk soon. They're both so obnoxious in different ways I really want to see how they'll bounce off one another.

Dave just looks so EXPRESSIONLESS with no visible eyes and the tiny straight line mouth. His SUNGLASSES show more emotion than he does. I guess this is the birthday gift John got for Dave that 'touched stiller's weird, sort of gaunt face at some point.' A quick search says these are from the Starsky & Hutch movie, which I guess I'll watch soon.

As for Dave's room, there's a LOT going on. The rooms are getting progressively messier, from John to Rose to Dave, so I can't even imagine GG's. The main feature here is the turntables hooked up to various computers and gadgets in an expensive, convoluted audio mixing system. I guess this is the turntech. And the godhead is Dave with his belief that it's okay to have a dozen trailing electrical cables in his room because tripping and electrocution aren't a risk to him.

This music studio combined with the extensive record collection and the record on his shirt really gives Dave the vibe of 'guy who makes music his entire personality'. The envelopes for the Sburb beta discs are next to the turntables, but Dave recently told John he lost his copy and that 'its a stupid story and id rather not talk about it' so.... did Dave try to play the Sburb discs on the turntables or what?? And like, can we really expect smart decisions from someone who has TWO issues of GameBro on his desk?

Everything in Dave's room is held up by cinderblocks for some reason. I don't know if this is a real thing that people do or not. He's also into photography, which is a great hobby, but all his pictures are just of him which for sure loses him some Cool Points.

Dave also has a poster of the Midnight Crew, as featured in John's and our favorite website mspaintadventures.com, and his playing card suit bedsheets might be a reference to that too, so this webcomic is another shared interest of theirs. He's also kept the box from John's birthday gift, and next to the box half-inside the closet is a bottle Dave mentioned to John on page 26: 'i just found an unopened container of apple juice in my closet it is like fucking christmas up in here.' I really love all these nods to John and Dave's friendship scattered around the room.

[mychlapci]

Episode 6 - Masters & Students

Looking at TFP Starscream is so funny to me because he’s got those big fuck off eyebrows that look literally glued onto his face. I like to think they’re attached via magnetics because that’s the only explanation I have for how silly they look. 

OH BOY I SURE DO LOVE THE FACT THAT THE VEHICONS ARE SHOWN TO BE CAPABLE OF TALKING, ASKING QUESTIONS, AND GENERALLY SHOWING SIGNS OF SENTIENCE. IT SURE DOES FEEL GREAT KNOWING THAT THE AUTOBOTS ARE GOING TO BE KILLING AND RIPPING THEM TO PIECES ON THE REGULAR WHILE SPOUTING OFF ABOUT HOW THEY’RE THE GOOD GUYS. [Obviously these are implications drawn from the fact that the show runners probably weren’t thinking about the vehicons as anything more than canon fodder. But ough, I do not like those implications.]

Also it’s really funny that the show wants me to believe that Starscream is a worse leader when he successfully lead the Decepticons for three years without the Autobots realising that he had several mining operations on Earth. Starscream should’ve been leader for the rest of the series, send tweet. 

That being said, I would like to shove him into a trash compactor. 

God I want to kiss however the hell rigged Starscream’s face, he’s so damn expressive. 

Ratchet is like ‘Babe 🥺aren’t you happy that your former friend is finally dead’ while Optimus is fucking sulking. 

Wwwhuat. I hope Ratchet’s voice actor got paid well. 

“You’re a human Jack, can you build me a small intestine.” Arcee is allowed to be funny, as a treat. 

I love how you can see Bulkhead raising his finger to argue with Ratchet before he puts his hand down and shakes his head in defeat. 

GOD SOUNDWAVE LOOKS SO FUCKING SILLY WITH THAT LITTLE ANTENNAE THING STICKING OUT OF HIS BACK. 

Okay I’m back on my tfp Soundwave hating arc. This time I think I’ve pinpointed why I don’t really enjoy him [design not withstanding] it’s because he has no body language to even remotely influence his personality. He is literally standing there in 99% of his scenes. There’s no movement from him, no indication of what he’s thinking, feeling, or wanting to do. Starscream literally says “What do you mean you can’t pinpoint his signal?!” Which implies that Soundwave is actively communicating with him. But if you look at his model he’s just standing there. There’s no movement of his tentacles, hell his screen doesn’t even flash red to indicate that he hasn’t found Skyquake’s signal. I think with a few bits of body language acting, Soundwave could’ve been a really interesting character. I don’t need him to talk verbally, fuck I don’t even want him to have a noise indicating he’s talking like Bumblebee, I just want him to express literally anything. 

Fuck Optimus is so goddamn big. 

“Unfortunately Megatron’s legacy will live on as others rise to take his place.” You can just say it’s Starscream Optimus, there’s literally nobody else. We see nobody else trying to be leader, it’s just Starscream. [Actually that would’ve been an interesting plot point or story.]

RHRUGH Grandpa Ratchet wants nothing to do with the battlefield, he’s helping them with their science homework. 

AAAAH I DON’T LIKE SOUNDWAVE’S SPINDLY FUCKING FINGERS. PUT THOSE THANGS AWAY MAN

Lord Skyquake is a crusty old man. Yeah I see why Maggot likes him so much. His colour palette is actually really nice, besides Knockout, we don’t see many Decepticons with colours ranging outside of blue, purple, or grey. It’s a good decision to make him so differently coloured from the rest of the cons. Also I think it’s interesting that Optimus says that he hasn’t obtained an altmode yet but we clearly see him with cockpit and wing kibble. Obviously the logical explanation is that the animators really didn’t need an entirely separate model with just the cockpit and wings removed but it is very funny to think about. Also lord he is large. 

Starscream’s inability to gauge which people he should order around continues to astound me. I love him for that. Get fucked you stupid pigeon. 

LMFAO THE WAY HE JUST RUNS ARMS OUTSTRETCHED TOWARDS OPTIMUS. IS HE STUPID?!

I said it in DMS, but I’ll say it here. The real tragedy of knowing that Skyquake is going to get canned is the fact that he has a really interesting and unique colour palette and weapon [machine gun] that distinguishes him from the other cons and they just kill him. What a waste. 

God they have to let Ratchet be in charge, he’s been so cooped up. 

“Soundwave, why aren’t you tracking them?” Maybe he is, though I can’t blame him for not knowing considering Soundwave is just standing there, a-posing. 

Starscream is so dramatic. 

SEE THIS IS WHAT I’M FUCKING TALKING ABOUT. Soundwave repeats Starscream’s voiceline and then releases Laserbeak, that’s a genuine little bit of character driven story telling that Soundwave doesn’t actually trust Starscream. :[ Why couldn’t we get more of that.

They should let Optimus run more people over in his altmode. It’s funny. 

OLD MAN DOWN

The laser eye beams is so funny. Like obviously they have to make sure you know he’s scanning an altmode but it’s so fucking funny. 

Starscream should’ve taken Megatron’s body and then- [The rest of this post has been removed for violating Tumblr’s terms and conditions.]

RIP Skyquake, your colour palette and cool gun were of too much interest for TFP, you had to die. 

Episode 7 - Scrapheap

Slight nitpick that doesn’t matter but oh that opening dialogue from Ratchet is so expositiony. Like yes Bulkhead, who has been alive for several million years, you do not know that exposure to lower temperatures can fuck up your systems. This literally doesn’t matter but I think it’s funny. Obviously it sounds good because it’s Ratchet saying it. 

Ah the bugs. Scraplets are a fun concept I think. Tiny metal eating critters that can terrify even the biggest Cybertronians. 

Ratchet is the biggest hater and I love him for that. He continues to be the best. 

Awwww Optimus saying he’ll bring Raf back a snowball is very cute. 

As someone who lives in the ye old midwest where we regularly get temperatures in the freezing during half of the year, the kids being really excited about the snow always seemed silly to me. Like, it’s just snow lmfao. But I do get it. Though the idea that Raf just spacebridging himself to the arctic circle for a few minutes is something I’ve thought about. Honestly I think we should’ve got more things involving the ability to transport oneself to anywhere in the world. Like Miko going home for a few days. 

The scraplets are just little guys. Small fucking beast. 

Bulkhead’s actor is so fucking good in this episode. 

Also the heat maps that the scraplets see in confuse me sooo much. You’ve got most of the cybertronians heat being centred around their shoulders, legs, and feet. Ratchet’s chassis is almost entirely blue while his upper thigh is red which makes no sense because his engine should be putting out some kind of heat right? Bulkhead’s chin is green while the top of his helm is red and the inside of Bumblebee’s thigh is blue while the top is red. What the fuck is going on with them?

Bulkhead’s war trauma of watching a scraplet eat someone he knows should’ve been touched upon more. 

“Typically I find your fleshiness to be your least engaging quality.” This just in, Ratchet does not find flesh attractive, robofuckers move on, grandpa does not want you. 

Once again Bulkhead’s VA does a fantastic job!

They’re eating him alive. Tragic and terrible day for Grandpa. 

It’s still so fucking funny that they picked the b-plot to be Optimus and Arcee freezing to death. Like it provides for some really sweet moments, particularly when Optimus goes to hold Arcee’s hand but it’s still really funny. Like yeah Ratchet, Bumblebee, and Bulkhead are all getting eaten alive and meanwhile Optimus fucking Prime is freezing his tits off. 

OUGH SORRY TO EVERYONE WHO WAS EXPECTING THESE!!! my cat died and i had so much school work and my life has been a mess. but yeahg, have some tfp reviews :] also maggot you are following my main if you ever wanna yap about skyquake to me! if you say yes i'll come off anon and dm you via tumblr.

-burnt ice anon

oh god, sorry for your cat, and good luck with school! it's okay, now we're here and it's time to talk about tfp.

to be honest, you're the first and only tfp Soundwave hated i've ever met (or seen) and even though i have no beef with tfp Soundwave you have actually have a very refreshing point of view. i mean, i always thought that him just standing there is just what he does but now that i think about it i'm like YEAH he should've been a bit more expressive. like, when he uses snippets of Starscream's voice, or that scene where they want to pull the plug on Megs and he just bluntly points to the screen tracing his brain waves, i think since he's a silent character, more stiff and creepy movements would have done him some justice.

once again, happy that Skyquake has been received in a positive way. The way he runs out at Optimus with his arms out flailing is so funny. No thought, he's just fucking mad. And you know, I never realized, but it's kind of odd they don't have any alt-modes until they scan an earth vehicle. like, why wouldn't they? maybe they had to deactivate their tcog for the stasis? i guess that's some scifi bullshit that could explain it.

Also if you wish to discuss Starscream doing anything at all to Megatron's corpse, anything at all, i have some thoughts. i've got thoughts. and a fanfic link i discovered recently.

anyways, the heat maps in the scraplet episode are So funny to me now that you pointed it out. they make no sense at all. it's a really funny episode overall. despite the fact that it's about bots getting eaten alive.

[unsaidace]

I have seen some takes that threw me off, but I saw someone compare Buck and his coping, including hurting Eddie’s ankle in jealousy and how people defend him to Damon Salvatore. Damon who is a serial abuser and canonical rapist even according to his own actor. I don’t like Damon but I know people defended his character a lot and people defend Buck.

Buck was mad about terrible telephone of finding Eddie had a job offer. I mean he was the one who said for Eddie to stay in Texas. I cannot gel with people being called racist because they did not like a scene where a so called friend grabs another grieving friend, with a face contorted in anger and pushes them back and points in their face. It’s aggressive and it is violent. I know grief can be messy and no one grieves perfectly but Eddie’s behaviour being put down to that is a dangerous precedent to set. They’re so blinded by buddie canon and messy love and them being soulmates, they’re invalidating Buck’s feelings and him being a victim of Eddie’s anger again.

Their takes to justify how it’s true love and soulmates above all, shows how condescending they are to people who were triggered or felt uncomfortable. They’ve minimised real people’s feelings to defend a fictional man and basically made fun of anyone who called it abusive and said they don’t know where abuse is. To compare Buck hurting Eddie’s ankle when it’s shown to have been apologised for is also a choice.

They’re comparing Buck…to Damon fucking Salvatore. I’ve actually heard it all now, what the fuck? In what world are they even remotely the same situation? But also, as a certified Evan Buckley Defence Squad™️ member, I’ll be the first to admit that Buck handled his jealousy horrendously in the basketball scene. Maiming your friend to get a guy’s attention is wild behaviour, and Buck absolutely should’ve found a way to communicate his feelings that didn’t involve sending Eddie to the hospital. Did I like where that episode got us, am I glad we got BuckTommy from it? Sure. But I can still acknowledge that Buck fucked up.

Buck had every right to be upset in that kitchen scene. His so-called “best friend” is considering leaving again, and not only is he the last to know, Eddie makes out like Buck wouldn’t have been happy for him, then has the nerve to imply that Buck is the reason Bobby is dead, that he didn’t do enough, that Eddie being there would’ve somehow changed the outcome. My bad, Diaz, I wasn’t aware you were suddenly a fully qualified microbiologist with a specialism in virology, and that you could replicate an antiviral that took months to create in the space of two and a half minutes, I’m impressed! Guess that Silver Star really does mean you’re some kind of super mega genius who can do absolutely everything known to man now.

Eddie, however, had no right to come into Buck’s home (because yes, BoBs reading this, that is Buck’s home until Eddie inevitably takes the lease back next episode even though he has a literal fucking mortgage in El Paso, the indecisive asshole), verbally and emotionally abuse him in his own kitchen, manipulate him into apologising for a situation that he had no need to apologise in, and then act like he’s the victim, the wronged party.

I genuinely, truly hope that the people romanticising that fight never experience a relationship like that. I have. It’s Hell, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I’m not calling that scene emotionally abusive for the fun of it. I’m calling a spade a spade. If the BoBs don’t like that, they can argue with the fucking wall, I’m afraid.

[lolhex12]

i'm probably extremely late to the party but i just realized how deep Andrew's sacrifice and Aaron's betrayal go when it come to the Twinyard's dynamic like??

Andrew, after having spent years alone in the foster system and suffering through the trauma that comes with it, he finally found Cass, a woman who genuinely cared about him and wanted to be his mother - someone he was willing to sell his soul (and body) to the devil for and endure the abuse Drake put him through bc that was just the price he had to pay for Cass' love, care and kindness. all bc he dared being selfish and wanting something for himself for once. he loved her and wanted her love back so bad to the point he would cut himself to cope with being in that house when Cass wasn't looking.

after accepting this new reality of his and resigning himself to the pain (psychological, emotional, physical and self-inflicted), he found out he had a twin brother who looks EXACTLY like him yet got to live a (to his knowledge) stable loving life with their birth mother. that Andrew got thrown away while his carbon copy had everything.

he hated the revelation so he put it out of his mind, went back to Cass' where Drake found out abt Aaron and ran his mouth abt having both twins for himself and... it's not like Andrew hated nor loved or felt any kind of attachment to his brother (who was still basically a stranger to him), and yet he knew, bone-deep, that 1) no one deserved to go through what Andrew had (especially someone 'untouched' (so to speak) who looked like him; as in, the picture in Andrew's mind resembled a young, still innocent, 7y/o Andrew who had not yet fully grasped or learned how to deal with just how cruel the world could be when thinking abt Aaron in the same position), and 2) he didn't want to give Drake the satisfaction.

so, Andrew, after having endured however long Drake's abuse in Cass' household and cutting himself to cope with it, all for the right to stay with her, he gave it all up when he received Aaron's letter asking to meet and rejecting the offer with a 'fuck off' bc he could not risk Aaron getting too close and going through anything remotely similar. he didn't owe his brother anything, nor had they made a deal by that point, yet Andrew, despite not really knowing Aaron, could not risk getting him into his own shit. and so, all those years of pain and sacrifice Andrew had to endure went down the drain bc he wanted to protect a stranger wearing his face, out of his own volition.

Andrew then did sth that landed him in juvie and thought everyone's safe now bc Drake can't get to Aaron anymore, until Aaron visited Andrew in juvie and Andrew noticed the bruises on Aaron's arms and Andrew realized Aaron might not be as safe as he'd thought after all.

ALL that pain and sacrifice thrown away to protect his twin and the fucker still wasn't safe?? mother dearest count your days.

so he got out of juvie early on good behavior (which was a bitch to manage but what was he to do when he had to leave to protect his brother?) and adopted into the Minyard household to see who was hurting his stranger of a brother, for whom Andrew has already given so much up?

Aaron, as we know, agreed to Andrew's deal, not expecting his brother to commit matricide bc of it. a deal which to Andrew seemed simple enough: 'l'll protect you and help you get into med school and become a doctor and all you have to do is stick together with me' (aka not let anyone (women in particular) get between us).

so, after all that sacrifice, after sacrifice, after putting his life on the line by participating in Tilda's car accident, getting his brother clean, curating his friend group to a drug-free environment (later also putting his own reputation with the team on the line by violently getting matt clean for the same reason), getting him a scholarship to get into med school and become a doctor (as agreed), THIS FUCKER could not even hold up his own end of the deal while Andrew literally checked every box and then some for his idiot ungrateful brother.

meanwhile it took Aaron seeing Andrew get sa'd, killing his abuser, and years of joint therapy to begin to comprehend just how much Andrew endured, sacrificed, risked and overall did for him without Aaron even realizing. bc Andrew doesn't do what he does for recognition or gratitude, he does it bc that's what's been agreed to.

---

this is not meant to diss Aaron's character but simply put the entire situation into perspective from Andrew's POV. like, no offence to Aaron but Andrew legit bent over backwards for him and Aaron's response was just "ure a psycho, i choose Katelyn" (or at least that's how Andrew viewed it)

all that being said, Andrew definitely could've communicated the situation and his intentions better, or at least explain how much those deals really meant to him, but unfortunately he wasn't quite there yet (if ever) <- in other words: it wasn't Aaron's nor Andrew's fault. shit's just shit sometimes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[ravewing]

thinking about flame again (as per usual).. genuinely i dont and never will understand wof fans who saw him be bitter and angry and cold and shut off from years of never having a home or real friends and feeling isolated and say "yeah, no, he's evil."

he lived his whole life in the talons, constantly moving and never having any place to tether himself to emotionally. imagine the impact that must have on a literal child. i know i like to headcanon that he and viper and ochre were friends but nothing in the books actually indicates that he found any emotional consolation in ANYONE with the exception being his mother, who probably never even really got to spend much time with him. i dont really remember what exactly the talons did though so idrk. he probably had to witness the horrors of war via the aftermath of battles that he likely saw when traveling, and even though he was shielded from being drafted into the skywing army that still doesnt lessen the emotional impact that that'd have on a fucking kid.

imagine you go through years of that, and finally, one day, some big, majestic, 'allknowing' nightwing shows up and tells you that you're a part of the fabled dragonet prophecy, and you finally have some hope that maybe it was worth the struggle, that you are actually worth something, just to find out that you were nothing but a replacement. and don't even get me started on when he and the other alternates were transferred to the nightwing volcano, where they went without food for DAYS and were forced to fly nonstop to some remote island and for probably the first time in his life, flame met other skywings- just to watch them burn alive in front of him. all while he is STILL A KID.

then the literal NEXT DAY he is forced to fight the other alternates, and winds up with an unimaginably (both physically and emotionally) painful scar that makes him feel like an unlovable, weak, ugly monster. all while he watches a dragon who's essentially his sister die right before his eyes in the lava.

this all makes him wall himself off from other dragons, because he's scared that they'll think he's as weak as he sees himself; it makes him angry and bitter at the world, it makes him hate himself and it eats him up inside. we get a really good insight on this in book 6 when moon reads his mind, where he thinks that he doesn't even deserve his mother's love because of how scarred he his, where he thinks that nobody takes him seriously, where he thinks that he has no friends nor allies.

and then people still have the sense to call him evil because of, not despite, the emotional barriers he has from the turmoil and trauma he's experienced.

[utilitycaster]

Fighter Breakdown Tracker, episode 3x78

Welcome to what was originally an opportunity to talk about the myriad wizards (not Myriad wizards, a separate concept) of Campaign 2 that occasionally gets co-opted into other things when the thought arises. Anyway, obviously the main event was the Barbarian Breakdown and, relatedly, the Party Breakdown, due to their Communication Breakdown, giving Allura Vysoren specifically her 19th Nervous Breakdown, but I've already talked a lot about Ashton. How are the fighters doing?

As a reminder: characters are included on the basis of 1. are they a fighter, 2. are they remotely relevant to this campaign, and 3. do I have something funny to say about them. I cannot stress enough how important item 3 is in the decision process; do not make requests, my muse speaks to me and that is how the characters (and, to be honest, classes) are chosen.

Cassandra de Rolo: Yes! According to the Tal'Dorei Campaign Setting (not reborn) she's multiclassed into fighter! Anyway that plan to go to the ziggurat went well, huh? totally normal and great. I like to think that due to her rogue levels she saw Fearne march down the ziggurat steps and just peaced out and has been chilling in Pike's little cabin ever since. 4/10: normal "is the world ending" concerns but otherwise she's having maybe the best day anyone on the Whitestone War Council can.

Jarett Howarth: he's specifically avoiding Bells Hells because motherfuckers keep teleporting from Marquet and not bringing any fusaka. This, plus normal "putting the Pale Guard on a war footing and also there's a really mad goat lady in the garden" bumps him up to a 6/10.

Orym: my serious thoughts about the space made for Chetney, FCG, and Imogen to step up aside I honestly think the semi-joking narrative of Orym going off in a huff and working out his feelings quite literally via the power of elaborate bodyweight calisthenics of the sort that grant you 20 Dex and 10 Str would be good for him. Allow yourself a little pettiness, Orym; it's good for the soul. 5/10 because I don't fucking know; we'll see next game.

Ariks Eshteross: I hope he's at peace and buried next to his love as requested; I still haven't gotten around to making those cookies actually and frankly I've had much more of an eye on the gunpowder tea shortbread. 0/10; I like to think he has found true rest.

Bertrand Bell: These motherfuckers have not visited the grave of their namesake at ALL. Traipsing around the Raven Queen's temple - literally everyone but Laudna and FCG has wandered over to that corner of the city - and NO ONE has taken a moment to pause and reflect. He died as he lived: everyone kind of setting him aside for more important matters except for followers of the Raven Queen. 8/10 because hopefully he was entertained by the raven show that got put on but also, come on man you couldn't stop by at all?

FRIDA: I have to imagine things in Vasselheim are wild and it's going to be missing FCG hours, but at least they're in great company! 5/10; they're a pretty even-keeled robot all things considered but the situation is pretty tense.

Otohan Thull: My sole regret about how great this episode is and the fact that we're dropping into the Fey Realm for a bit to have some much-needed time to regroup is that we are likely delaying their richly deserved demise. Anyway everyone's beloathed Palpatine knockoff is unfortunately super unflappable; another reason why they are boring as shit and why I very much want Bells Hells to make the bridge a little bit bloodier on the way up. 3/10.

Percival Friedrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III: Here's the thing. All things considered, his personal position is stressful, but not terrible. The ziggurat did not blow up; Gwen appears to either have not told him about her Delilah incident or did so in such a way that he didn't realize what was going on; he doesn't seem to have noticed the break-in into his parents' bedroom yet; Allura was reassuring re: Whitestone likely being safe (although...it's on a ley nexus so watch out!); and he got to deliver the line "ever since I met you, I knew you were destined for stupidity" which is actually how he specifically blows off steam. On the other hand, every single window in the castle has been destroyed, Allura had to leave, and I just checked and confirmed that Pike does not have the mending cantrip. Maybe one of the local clerics does? Maybe one of his kids does? Maybe Vilya or Ebenold does? Maybe Grog's in town and can be convinced that the role of the Grand Poobah etc etc is fixing windows? 6/10.

[professional-bulshitter]

so so I finally found words for it but there is no way Annie as a character is meant to be with Jeff,,, and yes this does come from a place of hate for anything even remotely related to JeffAnnie but it's also more than that and totally based on their behavior towards each other throughout the seasons but I just found the perfect moment that incapsulates it

and that is in 4x13 Advanced Intro to Finality wherein Jeff is ready to graduate and there's sorta paintball with the darkest timeline and all that (which just saying is such a cool fucking setup but this is not the post where I talk about it) and both the Annie's (from the normal and darkest timeline) are facing off against each other,,, what the evil Annie tries to persuade the normal Annie with is the fact that they (jeff and her) are sleeping together in this alternate future and normal Annie literally responds with, and I quote, "No-one is supposed to sleep with him. Not even me." let that sink in

Now does this seem like somebody who has a serious romantic crush/is in love with the guy? What it seems like to me is a case of admiration (as a person and a human being) which is further warped into her assuming it's love because that's what we're supposed to do and told to do by society... What is more she obviously views Britta as a woman who (might not be the smartest and I will always hate on how the show ruined her character) but is still recognised and acknowledged as a woman,, something that Annie feels alienated from since most people look at her and tend to infantilize her (which is also a part in her dynamic with Jeff which is just,, n o),,, so a lot of the tines she tends to look at britta's choice of partners to turn to, to fall in love with (obv this is something that I derived from the 6 seasons laid out before me but this is my opinion and yeah)

and yeah the question then becomes why didn't she do the same with Shirley,,, number 1. Shirley is obviously in a different place in her life with her husband and kids,,, number 2. Shirley and her also have quite a big age gap which is again only widened by number 1,,, and number 3, if you notice properly there are episodes wherein you can see her try to emulate Shirley,,, the easiest and most off the top of my head example being the one where they are the campus security together which does end with her professing that she wants to be a grown powerful woman like her.

Now, if we talk about her other main crush, talking about Troy here throughout the first few seasons,,, it's again based a lot on her admiration for him for being popular and again THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO AND WANT TO BE especially when you're literally at the sidelines of the high school hierarchy so much so that you would busy your ass to score good and do good but still never be known by anyone or acknowledged for anything you do,,, and she technically knew nothing about him which at most i can grant her being infatuated w him and yeah

and most of her attraction to anyone feels very surface level,, in the this-is-what-i've-seen-people-do-so-this-is-what-i-need-to-do-as-well,, instead of being properly attracted in a,,, i want to be romantically with you sense,,, she's essentially creating a fairytale of her life and idealising it and all the models she has for them are heterosexually inclined,, so this is the kind of behavior she ends up adopting and emulating,,

so a large part of Annie's behavior I do chalk up to heterosexual compulsivity (or comphet) because there are moments throughout wherein she shows more admiration and love for women than men in a i-want-to-be-with-you kind of way (and it would be really interesting to look at her struggle as a difficulty to differentiate btw I want to be her,,, and I want to be with her)

a large part of her character is also so interesting to me because of the fact that it feels like she gets away from the writers quite a bit,,, because a lot of the instances you can see how the writers want her to be perceived vs how she ends up being perceived by us (but that's true for most things related to media concerning the expected reception vs the actual reception)

i didn't know this was going to end up being a lesbian or at least queer Annie post either,, but apparently that's my truth and I stand by it

(also I do acknowledge the fact that the part of all this (the part about her being queer) can be chalked up to my own desires and biases and a little bit of projection but regardless,,, in any case, JeffAnnie is still weird and bad and doesn't really fit for their characters regardless (technically for both of theirs but this too long already) and I'm a firm believer of that (anti JeffAnnie till the day I die fr)