#literally just do the thing youre meant to do and do it well
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I haven't been quiet about my dislike (hatred, even) of the last two episodes of the show but I'll say it again
(I cannot speak for everyone, obviously, so these are just my personal feelings on the matter)
People tend to confuse "happy" with "satisfying" endings. Let's look at Lilia's episode. She died. Literally. Technically, that is a "sad" ending. But it wasn't, actually, because I did not feel sad. Quite the opposite, actually, I ADORED how her arc was concluded. I had happy tears. Her end truly felt like a beginning. My point is, I was expecting the same emotional impact from Agatha's end because there was no way this show would end any other way. Agatha was always going to die. But execution fucking matters. Hell, the hug in e4 had more emotional impact than the kiss. Do you know why? Because in the, supposedly, Agatha centered show, we got BARELY NOTHING regarding Agatha's backstory and we got EVEN LESS about Rio and Agatha's relationship. And I'm not even speaking from a shipper perspective. But Agatha's story has been so interwoven with Death, it feels like something fucking crucial to show. I don't disagree that there's a certain allure in leaving things unsaid and implied but when you want to have that sort of ending, it needs to have the emotional impact to back it up. The ending needs to fit the rest of the show (example: HTTYD 3, but we are not going to unravel that disaster here since it's neither the time nor the place for it).
And don't even get me started on the comic book lovers. "It's ending was comic book accurate so I'm happy!" Well, I'm not a comic book reader. This ending meant absolutely nothing to me the way it was shown. Which brings me back to my first point; execution fucking matters.
As for your "this is not the end of them" comment, I don't necessarily disagree. Originally, another thing that made me hate the ending was the fact that we got no resolution between the two. At least, no explicitly shown resolution. Now, I think maybe they left it open-ended on purpose, to maybe (hopefully) touch upon that in future projects. However, it truly does feel like the time for the backstory is over. I can't fully explain this feeling but the closest example I could give is spinoffs; you know how you get certain main characters and then this work gets a spinoff with a new set of protagonists but the old ones still make some appearances here and there? You get to know what they're up to in present time but you no longer get a full view of them. That's what this feels like.
Anyway, thank you for coming to my Ted talk
Honestly, I don't understand the people who are bitter about the way Agatha All Along ended. I thought it was freaking amazing.
Agatha and Rio got to be angry and in love and epically drawn to each other. And petty as all hell.
We got a kiss (and Rio's face those seconds before Agatha kissed her and she felt it coming). We got to see the wounds Agatha left in Death. We got to see a moment where Agatha essentially forgave Death (even if she wouldn't acknowledge it to Rio). We watched Rio cover her grave in the color that meant most to Agatha. We watched how Rio gave Agatha the time to love her son (because even if the older Agatha refused to see it - because it hurt too much - she would clearly have taken that gift a second time if she found herself back in that moment).
And it wasn't even the end of them, because if you don't think Rio is going to keep pursuing Agatha's soul now that she's floating around as a ghost instead of coming home to her, you're wrong (you're just... wrong).
It might not have been a "happy ending" but it was freaking glorious.
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NOT STRONG ENOUGH
summary: you got injured whilst on the job and spencer isn’t to pleased (post!maeve)
pairings: grumpy!spencer reid x sunshine!reader
genre: hurt/comfort?
warnings: mentions of maeve’s death, and canon complicit violence
authors note: i saw someone in the spencer reid tag ask about a fic like this and it gave me inspiration to write my own!!
you hadn’t noticed the tight grip spencer had on the steering wheel when he drove you and him home, nor did you notice his face; if looks could kill, the car that was driving extra slow in front of the two of you would’ve spontaneously combusted.
however you did notice, the slam of his door as he got out the car, his clenched jaw and avoidant gaze as he helped you out, with your broken leg and crutches.
you were used to spencer’s grumpiness, he’d had such a pessimistic view on life, and you didn’t know if it was the optimist in you, or the young naivety, but you had always thought you could fix him.
you had grown to fall in love with spencer in all his grumpiness.
you enjoyed getting to kiss away his angry pout and massage his scalp as he grumbled about how awful his day was.
you enjoyed getting to listen to his rants and just smile and kiss him and take all his problems away, being his source of comfort, like he was yours.
you always loved how even though he was so grumpy, he managed to reserve some sweetness for you, it made you feel so loved, so seen.
spencer on the other hand couldn’t believe he managed to have you as his girlfriend, after maeve, he wasn’t sure he was made for love, it wasn’t meant for him.
but you were meant for him.
he was immediately taken aback by you, the new intern at the bau, so bright and happy, he’d wondered what someone like you was doing at a job like this. someone so young, so happy, so optimistic.
he remembered thinking about how this job would tear you in half, like it did him.
he vowed not to let that happen.
but as he watched, helplessly as you tackled the unsub to the ground, and getting into a literal tussle, he was filled with so much anger, at the unsub, but mainly at himself.
he knew when he was new, he wanted to do his best to stop the bad guys, even if it meant putting himself in danger, he knew the sings of a reckless intern.
why didn’t he stop it.
now you were half black and blue, and walking around the house, well, less walking, more being carried around by spencer, and he really just wanted to scream.
“that was so stupid, you know that.”
you blink, the food on your for you were about to shovel into your mouth forgotten. “i’m sorry?” you say confused, dropping the fork, it clattered loudly against the plate.
“that stunt you pulled.” he gritted his teeth. “i mean, what were you thinking, that you were gonna save the day?” spencer asked, tilting his head in such a way that made you feel taunted.
almost, belittled.
“i was thinking about that girl.” you say, brows furrowing, “and how nobody was doing anything, we were just standing there waiting, negotiating, i saw an opportunity and i took it, the girl is safe now and he’s going to be locked up for the rest of his life.”
“you’re not a hero.” spencer scoffed. “you got lucky, what would you have done if you died out there?”
“nothing, because i’d be dead.” you say, as nice and as kind as you were, you had a quick mouth and it drove spencer insane. “what’s up with you, why are you so upset over this.”
“upset!” he slammed his fist against the table standing up, causing you to flinch, and some cutlery to fall on the floor, your heart thumped in your chest, you weren’t scared of spencer, you had faith he would never hurt you, but he’d never been thing angry with you before.
“i am not upset.” he spits out. “i am enraged at how after all this.. after, me, you could still go out there and risk your life like that! after all i’ve done to protect you!”
“protect me..” you stare at him through a glare standing up yourself. “i chose this job, spence, i chose this profession, i knew what came with it, and i do not need to be protected!”
spencer’s chest heaved as he stared at you, in silence.
“i-” you huff. “i knew the risks that came with the job spencer, and out in that field, i knew what i was risking, but it’s my life spencer. i’m perfectly aware of what i am doing.”
spencer closed his eyes and heaved out a long breath, pinching his nose. “you don’t get to make reckless decisions like that!” he screams clenching his fists. “not when it comes to your life.” he whispered softly, slowly sitting back in seat, as if he’d folded completely.
“i don’t know what i’d do if i lost you..” he says, licking his lips. “when.. when you think about losing someone you love, you can’t imagine it, what it would be like, but i can, because i have, i have lost someone, multiple people.” he says.
“in that moment, when i watched you tackle.. tackle that guy.” he squeezes his eyes shut, tears threatening to spill, as you watch him intensely. “i knew what it would be like spend the rest of my life without you, and i don’t think i’m strong enough to come to terms with that.”
spencer’s admission makes your chest hurt, it never occurred to you what something like taking a risk could do to him. spencer already had lost a lot, and you didn’t want to become a reason he loses another.
you step forward nudging his chin so his eyes were looking up into yours, his cheeks were wet with tears, and for the first time you didn’t see a grumpy man, a pessimistic man, you saw a man who’d had his heart broken far too often.
you gently stroke his cheek. “hey, i’m not going anywhere anytime soon, i’m an intern, today was just an off day.” i raise my brows. “i doubt i will be allowed in the field for a long time.”
he smiled, his eyes still red from tears. “i know you love your job, and i won’t try and stop you from doing it, but please, be careful, if not for you, then for me.”
“i’d do anything for you.” you say, kissing him on the lips. “i’ll be careful for you.”
#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds x you#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fanfic
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엔하이픈 --- EMAILS I NEVER MEANT TO SEND (PART 2)
박성훈 x fem!reader x 심재윤 ┊ a very late and long birthday gift for jennifer!! :> ┊ wc 5.8k
GENERE ┊ !oneshot, !nonidol , !fluff , !hints of angst , !high school, !childhood best friends to lovers , !best friend's brother , !love triangle , !hockey player sunghoon , !basketball player jake , !academic weapon reader
DISCLAIMER ┊ depictions may be inaccurate , contains swear words, y/n is lee heeseung's sister , sunghoon calls y/n 'princess' , y/n calls jake 'jaeyun' , doesn't really contain jake and sunghoon playing their sports , y/n prefers strawberries over mangoes , mentions of ocs and random characters here and there.
⟡ 📩 𑁋 TAGGING : @a-dream-bookmark , @/k-labels , @k-nets , @k-films
“Y/N, YOU OKAY?” HEESEUNG ASKS, MAKING YOU LOOK UP FROM YOUR HALF-EATEN BOWL OF A CONCOCTION OF RICE, SOUP, KIMCHI, BEAN SPROUTS AND SEAWEED. He sips on his tea, eyes trained sharply on you.
“Yeah, I am,” you reply, feeling a little guilty. You weren’t entirely lying, but it’d be such a fabrication if you told yourself you weren’t feeling down at all. “Why?”
“Did you sleep late? Or did you get dumped?”
“Oppa!” you exclaim, “when did I ever get a boyfriend?”
“Oh yeah, I forgot that you’re always sticking around with Sunghoon. People think you’re his girlfriend, so no one’s asking you out,” Heeseung snorts.
Your eyes slightly widen. “Wait—people actually think like that?”
“Yeah, of course,” Heeseung replies, rolling his eyes. He swallows his bite before continuing, “everyone thinks you’re Sunghoon’s, you know?”
“People think so?”
“Girl, the two of you act like a literal couple. You hold hands, kiss cheeks and call each other nicknames like it’s nothing. I mean, those who know you guys are friends know that it’s platonic, but–”
“Then, why isn’t he doing anything about it?” you snap, crossing your arms. Your sudden outburst shocks everyone in the room—even Heeseung stops eating.
“Y/N-ie, you alright, sweetie?” your mom asks from the kitchen.
“I’ll be fine,” you reply. “Hee oppa’s bothering me!”
“What are you saying, idiot?” Heeseung hisses. “I’m not bothering you, just tell me whatever is bugging you!”
“I’m upset,” you declare truthfully. “I want to go to hoco with Sunghoon. But he’s not asking me or anything,” you whine, dragging out each word in a dramatically exaggerated manner.
Heeseung snorts, “if you want to go with him, just tell him? It’s not that hard.”
“It is hard! Oppa, imagine telling your childhood best friend: ‘oh, I like you. Can we go to homecoming together?’. That kind of thing completely ruins a friendship! Imagine if he doesn’t like you back? How would you feel?”
Heeseung leans back into his seat, smirking smugly. “I don’t have any girl best friends, so I wouldn’t know.”
“YAH!” you yell, smacking your brother’s head with your spoon. He laughs, clutching his stomach as you sit back down, pouting. “I’m upset and all you’re doing is laugh at my face.”
“Hey, I’m just joking around,” Heeseung reassured, “I get how you feel—even though I kinda don’t.”
Your brother laughs as you huff.
“I think you should go and confront him about it,” Heeseung suggests, going back to devouring his breakfast. “I’m honestly surprised you told me that so straightforwardly, but I guess that’s the result of me sacrificing my ego to get close to you when we were kids.”
You kick his leg under the table, annoyed by the way he’s laughing as you do so. “Shut up. Don’t make me regret having you as my brother.”
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
“SEE YOU AFTER SCHOOL, Y/N-IE,” HEESEUNG SAYS AS YOU EXIT THE CAR. He waves to you before driving off. You then make your way towards the entrance gate, only to be greeted by an obviously excited and jumpy Danielle.
“Y/N!” Danielle waves, all smiles. “Come on!”
You jog up to her, who’s standing at your school gate. “Hi. What’s up?”
“Nothing,” she replies, but you know her a little too well to accept that as an answer.
“Oh, you think I’m stupid, don’t you?” you elbow her, “you’re a bit too smiley at quarter past seven. Something’s definitely up.”
Danielle giggles, “I’m sorry, I forgot you’ve been my friend since middle school. Now I kind of resent myself for picking Decelis Academy as my study abroad option in 8th grade.”
You hit her shoulder, laughing in synchronisation. “Anyway, Dani, tell me what’s going on. Is Heeseung coming to pick you up after school today or what?”
“Nah, I am,” Jake’s voice coming from your left startles you, making you lose your balance. Yet, Jake is quick to grab your arm, stabilising you.
You turn towards the source of the voice, expecting him to be standing at a reasonable distance beside you. But, oh boy, the goosebumps you get from seeing his face merely inches away from yours…
“Oh?”
Jake smiles. “I’m sorry for startling you,” he says, letting go of your arm gently. “What were we talking about again?”
“Yah, Jaeyun,” Danielle interrupts, smacking her twin brother’s head. “Don’t go around and scare people by whispering right in their ear. It’s creepy, you know?”
Jake laughs sheepishly. “Yeah, yeah. I’m sorry, Y/N.”
“Anyway, you’re picking Dani up today? What does that mean?” you ask. “Don’t you guys, like, cycle home everyday? Together?”
“Yeah, we do,” Danielle replies, “but today he’s bringing me and you dress-shopping.”
“Me?” you gasp.
“Yep,” Jake nods. “I-I mean, I suggested it to her. You know, since… um, my sister’s going to hoco with your brother, a-and she wants to go dress-shopping… I thought it’d be fitting to bring you too.”
“You can help me pick,” Danielle adds, smiling.
“Sure,” you agree after some thought. After all, going shopping with Danielle is something you enjoy doing, and there’s nothing wrong with her twin brother accompanying the two of you.
Except… that the said twin brother is most likely, according to the current situation, your hoco date.
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
WALKING OUT OF THE CHEMISTRY LAB, YOU DRAG YOUR FEET TOWARDS THE CAFETERIA. There have been several periods and classes with Sunghoon, yet there hadn’t been any indication that he’d be asking you to go to homecoming with him.
“So,” Danielle begins, as soon as you set down your tray. She waits for you to sit down before uttering, “are you going to homecoming?”
“I think so,” you say, shrugging. “I mean, I thought about it, and it’s my senior year. I should go to homecoming.”
Naeun and Danielle shriek happily.
“Oh my God! My wish came true!” Danielle clasped her hands together.
“We can finally take a trio polaroid together. Complete. As one,” Naeun says.
“Gosh, stop over–”
“What wish?” you get interrupted, once again, by the one and only: Park Sunghoon. He nods to acknowledge Danielle and Naeun in front of you, before sitting down next to you.
“Nothing,” you immediately reply. You shift awkwardly in your seat, uncomfortable by the way your cheeks are warming up.
How on earth did you actually survive being Sunghoon’s best friend for more than 10 years whilst having a crush on him?
Maybe having a crush on him for 5 years has taught you the skill of burying your feelings whenever he was around.
“I’ve known you for 13 years,” Sunghoon says. His left cheek bulges as he chews on his mouthful of cold noodles. “And if I learned a thing or two, it is to never trust you when you say ‘nothing’.”
“Exactly!” Naeun exclaims. “Sunghoon, you tell her to stop using the same excuse every time, it’s so obvious when she’s lying.”
“Oh, shut up, Nae.”
Sunghoon rips open the package of his chocolate bar and breaks it in half. “Here,” he places it on your tray. “You like cookies and cream.”
You bit your lip in hopes to suppress a smile. “Thanks,” you say coolly, taking a bite out of it.
“Anyway,” Naeun grins, a glint of mischief in her eyes. You glare at her, already dreading what’s to come. “Got anyone to go to homecoming with, Park Sunghoon?”
Sunghoon leans back in his chair, stealing a glance at you. “No. I don’t want to go.”
You almost spit out the contents of your mouth at his blunt statement. “What? Why?”
Sunghoon shrugs. “I’ve got no one to go with?”
“Well, you can go with me if you want to,” you murmur, afraid to raise your voice.
“What?” Sunghoon tilts his head, eyes staring into yours. “What’d you say?”
“Nothing!” you quickly say, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “I-I’m going though.”
It’s now Sunghoon’s turn to be confused. “Huh? I thought you weren’t going.”
“Yeah! I-I wasn’t going to… but Jaeyun asked me… to go with him,” you utter each word with complete caution, eyes going back and forth between Danielle and Sunghoon. “And I’m… going with him.”
Danielle gasps, and at the same time, you couldn’t shrug off the pang in your heart when you witness Sunghoon’s expression morph into something you’ve quite never seen on him before.
Was it jealousy?
“Double date!” Danielle gushes, her eyes crinkling with laughter. “God, I’m so happy! I can finally go to homecoming with my best friend!”
“...have you told him?” Sunghoon asks, somehow struggling to force the words out of his mouth.
“Who?” you reply.
“Jake.”
You purse your lips, then shake your head. “Nope. I’ll tell him after school, though.”
Sunghoon nods, his gaze lingering on you a moment longer than it usually does. Then, he turns to his lunch and finishes it in silence, ignoring the conversation buzzing around him.
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
“LET’S GO?” JAKE TAPS YOUR SHOULDER, SMILING WIDELY AS ALWAYS. You sometimes question in your head, does he ever get tired of smiling?
“Mhm, okay!” you reply, quickly packing up your bag. “Wait for me at Danielle’s class.”
“Alright. I’ll see you there.” Jake nods, and struts out, which leaves you and Sunghoon together.
“Where are you going?” Sunghoon asks, his tone careful and slow. He looks at you, and there’s something in his gaze that you can’t pinpoint.
You swing your bag over your shoulder. “I’m… going dress-shopping.”
“With Jake?” he asks.
You nod slowly.
“Y-yeah. And Danielle.”
“Have you told him you’re going to hoco with him?”
You sigh. “No, I haven’t. I’m a bit embarrassed to… tell him.”
Silence floods the two of you. Though, this time, the silence was overwhelmingly uncomfortable. There was some kind of tension that hung between you and Sunghoon, and you know precisely what caused it.
“Hmm,” is all you get from your best friend after a few moments of awkwardness, that involves you standing straight near your desk, unable to move as you await his response.
“Do you like him?” Sunghoon asks, standing up from his chair. His height towers above you, and you gulp in nervousness.
“No?” you say, “I don’t. No, I-I do, but I like him as a friend.”
“Like how you like me?”
Your eyes widen as if a nuclear bomb was dropped in front of your face.
“L-like?”
Sunghoon chuckles, ruffling your hair. “I’m joking, Rainbow Dash.”
Memories flood your vision upon hearing the childhood nickname; vivid like it happened yesterday.
You clearly remember your six-year-old self, sitting on the floor of your house’s play area with a seven-year-old Sunghoon. The two of you had a whole world made out of toys set up—Sunghoon built several buildings and skyscrapers using wooden blocks he brought from his place, along with a few Hot Wheels and action figures; while you had a whole army of My Little Pony figurines out, along with a full-fledged set up of a tea house. You remember roleplaying with Sunghoon, giggling and fighting with each other’s creative imaginations.
“You? As Rainbow Dash?” Sunghoon grimaced, laughing loudly. “You’re too girly, Y/N.”
“No I’m not!” you yelled. “I’m as fast and cool as Rainbow Dash!”
“Fast? You never win against me in any races. You’re more like Fluttershy to me,” Sunghoon declared, a proud smirk displayed across his face. “Softie.”
“No I’m not!” you insisted on a small panicky tone.
And the two of you fought, for the next 30 minutes, on whether you suited Rainbow Dash or not.
“Gosh,” you whisper shakily, “I haven’t heard that nickname in a while.”
Sunghoon smiles—and it’s as if, in this entire universe, it’s only you and him. It’s an unexplainable feeling; one could probably try and portray it as if time had stopped, and everything else around you froze—and he’s the only one for you.
“Hmm? I thought I’d call you Rainbow Dash instead of Fluttershy,” he jokes, “since, you know, you like Rainbow Dash more than Fluttershy.”
“Hey!” you exclaim, “it’s been so long! Don’t remind me of that!”
Sunghoon lets out a train of laughter—and it rushes through you like a refreshing breeze, reminding you of your never ending feelings for him, and how his laughter is one of the things you’d never get tired of hearing.
“Come on then,” he urges you to walk out of the class. “We have a dress to find.”
You follow his lead, your brows knitting with each other. “Huh?”
Sunghoon looks back at you for a second, smiling while he’s at it.
“I’m coming with you to buy your hoco dress. I mean, I’m sure your mother wouldn’t get mad at you if you’re going out with me,” he says, as your legs freeze, unable to move. You’re dazed at Sunghoon’s presence. Everytime he smiles at you, you’re smitten—and it’s as if your body is in love too—it freezes, always.
“I’ll pick your dress for you if you don’t come! I’ll pick the most horrible one!” Sunghoon yells playfully from the corridor, causing you to jolt awake from your trance. “And I’ll tell Mrs. Lee, you’re going out without asking her first!”
“YAH!” you scream, swiftly dodging tables and running out of the classroom to catch up with Sunghoon. “Wait for me, Park Sunghoon!”
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
“HERE,” JAKE HANDS YOU A CUP OF MANGO YAKULT BOBA, ACCOMPANIED WITH A SMILE THAT YOU WISH YOU DIDN’T NOTICE WAS A LITTLE BITTER. It must’ve been because Sunghoon’s here, standing beside you, you recall Danielle whispering to you a while ago.
“What?” you ask him.
“Take it,” he insists. “It’s on me, so don’t worry.”
You nod thankfully before poking the straw into the cover of the drink to take a sip. Though, before your lips could even touch the tip of the straw, Sunghoon gets himself a big sip of your drink. Bewildered and stunned, all you could do is watch and let your lips form a twitchy smile as Sunghoon perks up from an angle slightly lower than your eye level.
You gulp, suddenly nervous at the close proximity.
“This is good stuff,” he says with a grin.
Your eyes shift quickly between Jake, who’s standing right in front of you, shock painted all over his facial expressions; and Sunghoon, who’s standing to your right, grinning like he’s just scored the winning goal for the inter school hockey competition.
“Hoon!” you smack his arm, “this is my drink—you didn’t even ask!”
Sunghoon keeps his grin on. “I mean, you wouldn’t even finish it,” he shrugs. “Plus, you prefer strawberry flavoured things over mango, right?”
You watch with guilt as Jake’s facial expressions morph into a shameful expression. He lets out an “oh”, and he looks away.
“It’s okay, Jaeyun,” you say, offering him a smile, which makes him rebuild eye contact. “It’s not that I don’t like mango. I do! Just that I prefer strawberries.”
Jake nods attentively. “Ah, okay.”
“Okay, guys! Enough of this awkwardness,” Danielle says out loud, looping her arm with yours. “We’ve only got a few hours to shop for Y/N and I’s dresses, so get your asses up and moving, boys.”
The four of you then walk through the mall, window shopping to find your dresses. Danielle, of course, is the most excited. She practically drags you and Jake around, Sunghoon tagging along.
You naturally enjoy the experience of shopping with your girlfriend. It’s certainly a refresher—sipping on your boba drink as you browse through a wide selection of eye-catching clothing. Though, every time you look to steal a glance at Sunghoon, there’s this off-putting feeling that you can’t quite name—and the reason as to why is evident, displayed right in front of your eyes.
Every time you make eye contact with Sunghoon, you notice a challenging aura blazing through. It’s as if he’s purposely making it hard for Jake; as if to dare him to prove that he’ll be a good date to you.
Honestly, you think to yourself, it’s just one night. It’s not like I’m dating Jake for real.
And you wonder too, why Sunghoon is making such a big deal out of it.
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
“HEESEUNG’S GOING TO BAWL HIS EYES OUT WHEN HE SEES YOU IN THIS DRESS,” YOU SAY WITH A SPARKLE OF MELODRAMA. Jake chuckles, while Sunghoon simply nods.
You marvel at how beautiful Danielle is—her beauty is enhanced with the purple dress she’s wearing. It’s exactly her vibe—a lilac baby doll dress with ruffles and puffed sleeves—soft and dainty.
“Buy this one,” Jake says.
“Okay!” Danielle happily nods. “What about you, Y/N?”
You’ve tried on several types of dresses in many different colours—jade, champagne red, and light pink. Though, none of them thoroughly suited your taste.
“Jaeyun,” you say, causing the boy to perk up and look at you with slightly widened eyes—not expecting his name to be called. “What do you think?”
“M-me?”
You smile and nod, ignoring Sunghoon’s piercing gaze. “Yeah, you.”
“I-I mean, I don’t know,” Jake stammers, “why are you buying a dress though? I thought you weren’t going to hoco.”
“Well…”
“You stupid idiot, she’s going with you!” you hear Danielle shout from inside the changing room.
You don’t know why, but some feelings of delight wash through you as you watch Jake’s lips form a wide smile. He laughs, awkward and strained at first, but gradually, he gets up and pulls you into a hug.
“Thank you,” he murmurs breathlessly into your shoulder as you pat his back. “Thank you, Y/N.”
Jake pulls away from the hug, and for the first time, you see tears form at the edges of the basketball prodigy.
And, for the first time too, you see Sunghoon looking away from you.
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
“DANI!” YOU WHISPER-YELL, TRYING TO KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. You and Danielle are in the changing room, the latter helping you to put on dresses. Out of all the dresses you tried—the light blue ball gown dress, the lavender mini dress with bow details, and many other bodycon and babydoll dresses—none caught your eye.
Except for one.
A simple midnight blue babydoll dress, adorned with pearl details and thin straps; one that Sunghoon picked out. At first, you weren’t sure if it’d suit you, but after trying it on, you were baffled by how you look. The dress fits you perfectly, highlighting exactly where it needs to be.
“Are you sure this is okay?” you ask, pulling your hair out of your dress.
Danielle nods, an adoring look on her face. “Girl, everyone will be smitten.”
Of course, you didn’t believe her at first—but the look on Sunghoon and Jake’s faces made you second guess yourself.
Sunghoon’s eyes stop blinking, and his lips part slightly. Something feels stuck in his throat, and everything dawns on him.
You look absolutely magical.
He can’t pull his eyes away, no matter how hard he tries. You are his best friend, the person he feels most comfortable with. And now, it hits him like a truck.
You’re breathtaking.
To his left, Jake is completely blown away by your beauty. The edges of his mouth twitch, indecisive as to whether he should smile or not. His pupils widen as he takes in the view of you, realising that you really are more prettier than he thought you were.
“So,” you finally say, pretending to not notice the two guys’ gazes on you. You smile at Jake, not forgetting to spare Sunghoon a glance. “How’s this?”
“I-I mean,” Jake says, smiling, “it’s perfect.”
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
To: [email protected] From: sincerely/[email protected]
Dear Sunghoon,
Thank you for picking out the dress for me. I think I like it a lot. Obviously because it’s not what you picked out but anyway! I’m nervous. Not because I like Jaeyun or anything. It’s just the general homecoming thing. You know, the surroundings and the partying… I hope I can handle it.
I’ve got nothing against Jaeyun, but I do still wish you’re my date instead.
Why didn’t you ask me to be your homecoming date, Hoon? Did you know how desperately I have been waiting? Did you know how guilty I felt to be brushing off Jaeyun every single time he asked me to go to hoco with him?
Look at me now. I’m his date for Friday.
Hoon, I wish I had the courage to tell you. I wish I was brave enough to tell you that I like you, and that I don’t care if it ruins our lifelong friendship. I wish I was fearless enough to ask you to homecoming.
I wish I was better. I don’t know if I’m good enough for you, but if you ever need a girlfriend, or a wife one day… I’m here. Always.
Sent 23:00 PM, 4th September.
To: [email protected] From: sincerely/[email protected]
Sunghoon,
It’s homecoming.
Jaeyun’s going to come and pick me up soon—in like half an hour. I got the girls over, to help with makeup and all. I feel gorgeous, Hoon, but I wonder if you think so too.
I wish the person who’d come and pick me up to go to homecoming today was you. I really want to see you in a suit—oh God, I know just how good you’ll look.
Honestly, even in a hoodie and sweatpants, you look stunning.
Sent 17:35 PM, 6th September.
“Y/N! Sweetie, Jake’s here!” you hear your mom call from downstairs.
“Coming!” you shout back, shoving a lipgloss and a pack of tissues into your purse before rushing downstairs.
His eyes sparkle as they gaze on you, and he looks as if he’s never seen someone as beautiful as you. He stands respectfully by the stairway, giving you a polite smile.
“Hi,” you greet Jake, leaning into his side hug. Jake is smartly fitted into a neat suit with tie, and a corsage is tucked perfectly into the pocket of his chest. He hands you a matching one.
“Do… you want to wear this?”
You make eye contact with Heeseung, who’s standing by the door with Danielle. He nods, and you turn to Jake. “Sure.”
He fastens the corsage around your wrist, his touch gentle and careful. “Is it okay? If i-it’s too tight or anything,” Jake says, “tell me.”
You pat his shoulder. “It’s fine, I’m good. Thank you, Jaeyun.”
Heeseung drives all of you to the conference hall of Decelis Academy, where the homecoming will be held. Upon arrival, Jake opens the door of the car and helps you out.
Feeling slightly overwhelmed hearing the faint music coming from inside the hall, you turn to Jake. “So,” you say, slowing down your walking pace. “What do we usually do at hoco?”
“Hmm, there’s a concert by our school band—you know Jay? He used to be in Heeseung’s grade, he was the lead guitarist,” Jake explains. “His girlfriend, Han Jihyeon, is still the main singer. They’re sickeningly cute, in my opinion.”
You chuckle and nod along, recalling several moments where you’ve seen the couple interact with each other before.
“There’s also plenty of games,” continues Jake. The two of you walk together into the hall, and as you reach the door, he opens it for you. “Oh, and you don’t have to dance if you don’t want to, you know.”
You nod, bracing yourself for a chaotic night.
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
AFTER TAKING PICTURES WITH JAKE, DANIELLE, NAEUN, AND HEESEUNG, YOU FIND YOURSELF RETREATING TO THE REFRESHMENTS SECTION OF THE CONFERENCE HALL. Jake left to play games and dance with his friends, as well as reconnect with his old buddies who have graduated. At first, he felt guilty to leave you alone, but you insisted he go enjoy himself so much that he gave in.
You bring out your phone and adjust your hair, which your mom had put in a half updo adorned with a sparkly white ribbon. Your makeup tonight is bedazzling too, and you admit, for once, it made you feel more beautiful than ever before. Kudos to Danielle for being your makeup artist.
“Y/N!” you hear Jake call for you. You look towards his direction, seeing him quickly approaching you.
“Yeah?” you answer, fidgeting with the empty plastic cup in your hand.
“Do you want to come and play some games?” he asks. “I mean, i-if you want to.”
“Honestly, I don’t really want to,” you reply, “but since we’re already here, why not?”
You watch as Jake’s uptight and polite expression transforms into a bright smile. “Okay!” he beams, grabbing your arm. “Let’s go!”
You don’t know if it’s Jake’s luminous grin or if it’s the games that are fun, but you enjoyed almost every minute of the games you played. You found yourself laughing amongst Jake and his friends, and found them to actually be decently nice. You too found yourself sharing many greasy yet fulfilling snacks with Jake, bonding over random things such as physics, iconic movies and so on.
When the time to go home comes around, Jake escorts you to Heeseung’s car and waits until your brother comes.
“Thanks,” he murmurs, “I had a really good time tonight.”
You give Jake a smile. “Of course!” you pat his shoulder. “I also enjoyed tonight a lot, surprisingly. Thanks for asking me out.”
Jake laughs shyly, the corner of his eyes crinkling along. He rubs the back of his neck. “Y-yeah! You’re welcome… and you know, I think we should hang out sometime?”
“With Dani?” you inquire on instinct—immediately regretting it after, realising the true meaning behind his words.
“Um–” Jake lets out an awkward chuckle. “Sure, alright.”
The breeze blows, and you realise that you’re wearing something so revealing on an autumn night. You push your hair out of your face and rub your bare shoulders with your hands, in an attempt to warm yourself up. “It’s really cold tonight,” you laugh.
“Oh, yeah,” Jake agrees, swiftly removing his suit jacket and placing it on your shoulder. He stands right in front of you—and you notice, then, how tall he is—and adjusts the placement of his jacket on you. “Is it better now?”
The scent of honey, cinnamon, and freshly baked apple pies mixed with a faint touch of expensive cologne attacks your senses. You pull Jake’s suit jacket closer to your body, attempting to combat the cold winds. “Yep! Thank you so much, Jaeyun.”
“Jake!” you hear Heeseung call from a distance, interrupting something Jake was about to say. Your brother—accompanied by Danielle—quickly approaches the two of you, giving Jake a brief handshake. “Thanks for waiting with Y/N.”
Jake places a hand on his chest before nodding slightly. “Of course. The pleasure’s all mine.”
“Thanks for coming to homecoming with my twin brother, Y/N-ie,” Danielle says, giving you a hug. “We finally get to take pictures together. I’ll send them all to you, okay?”
“Yeah, okay,” you nod, mirroring Danielle’s smile. “I’ll see you later, Dani.”
“See you!” she exclaims before linking arms with Jake. “Come on, my feet hurt from all the dancing.”
Jake rolls his eyes. “Who told you to wear heels?”
Danielle simply gave her twin brother an annoyed look. “Shut up. Beauty is pain.”
“Anyway, we have to go now,” Heeseung recalls.
“Mom will kill me if I don’t get you home before midnight,” he continues, nudging you with his elbow. He opens the car door, signalling for you to get in. “Come on.”
“Bye, Jaeyun, Dani!” you say as you get into the car.
Jake sends you a soft smile along with a nod. “Goodbye, Y/N.”
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
“WHAT THE HELL,” YOU BREATHE SHAKILY. You’re now at home, in your room—barely finished with your nighttime after-shower routine when you hear knocks on your window.
Quickly wiping your hair dry with a towel, you rush to your window, the damp towel still in hand. You push the curtains open, only to be greeted with a vision of Sunghoon, leaning against the glass with a grin on his face. Your eyes widen with shock.
“Park Sunghoon!” you exclaim hushedly, immediately opening the window to let him in.
“Thanks,” he grumbles, effortlessly climbing into your room. He lands with a soft thud, and he stands patiently, waiting for you to close the window.
“God, you gave me a heart attack,” you say. “What are you doing here? It’s cold outside, you know? How did you even manage to climb up here?”
“Eat,” he replies, instead of answering your questions. Sunghoon then hands you a plastic bag filled with goodies—and you perfectly know what’s inside.
“What’s this?” you ask nevertheless, grabbing the plastic bag.
Before you could even open the plastic bag, Sunghoon excellently answers, “Pocari Sweat, cream cheese with salmon kimbap and ice cream.”
A wide grin immediately emerges on your face, much to Sunghoon’s satisfaction. “Oh my god!” you exclaim, sitting down on the heated floor. “I’ve been craving this.”
“You always do,” Sunghoon chimes, sitting down across you, leaning against the wall. Unnoticed by you, Sunghoon stays silent as he watches you eat heartily; your facial features highlighted by the warm light of your bedside table.
Something caresses his heart. Some kind of feeling… It makes him feel full and content.
“Switch on the lights, I swear to God,” Sunghoon sighs.
“No,” you shake your head, cheeks filled with kimbap. “My parents are going to think I’m still awake. Plus, this kind of ambiance makes me sleepy.”
“And?” Sunghoon raises a brow, amused. “Do you want to eat while sleeping?”
“No!” you insist, swallowing a big bite of kimbap. “I want to make myself sleepy so that I can sleep as early as possible.”
Sunghoon snorts. “It’s 12 o’clock, Y/N. What kind of ‘early’ are you talking about?”
He laughs cheerfully—still keeping a low volume—as he dodges a pillow from you.
“I mean,” you defend yourself, mouth still full of food. “At least it’s earlier than 5 o’clock.”
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, laughter still lingering around him. “Whatever you say, princess.”
Princess.
A nickname that rolls off Sunghoon’s tongue so easily. It’s an old habit—stemming from an incident that happened when the two of you were kids; where Sunghoon had deliberately called you ‘princess’ just to annoy you, knowing that you wanted to be a dragon warrior when you grew up, not a princess.
Though, the same nickname used by Sunghoon for years to no end still gives you plenty of butterflies and heart-fluttering moments. By logic, you should’ve gotten used to it by now, considering the absurd amount of times he called you by that.
The two of you sit facing each other, faces lit by the dim light of your mushroom shaped lamp. The both of you sit in pure silence, the sounds of breathing and occasional satisfactory moaning coming from you due to the food filling the atmosphere.
Sunghoon looks at you attentively—the way you melt into every bite of food that you enjoy; the way that you sit cross-legged in front of him, vulnerable and authentic. It’s just you and him—the pure and bare you; your face naked with no makeup on, your shoulder-length hair let loose, the bangs framing your face perfectly as it should.
“Goodness, I’m so tired,” you groan, laying down on the floor with an almost finished ice cream in your hand.
Sunghoon scoffs, adjusting his lean against the wall. “You’re going to choke on that ice cream.”
You throw him a glare. “Shut up.”
“So, Y/N,” Sunghoon says after a moment of unbroken eye contact, caused by him intently watching you try to eat ice cream while laying down. “How was it?”
You immediately sit down. “Hoco?”
Sunghoon nods. “Yeah. Was it fun, with Jake?”
“It was okay. I unexpectedly enjoyed it more than I wanted to,” you reply, finishing your ice cream. “I do think I prefer night-ins to binge watch dramas or movies—like To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before, or Emily In Paris—don’t you think?”
Sunghoon smiles briefly. He nods, “movies are more of your thing, I think.”
“Anyway, I’m glad I went,” you continue, “I’m in my senior year—we’re in our senior year, and we won’t get to experience something like this anymore.”
Sunghoon sighs as he shrugs. “Homecoming’s not my thing. I thought… I thought it wasn’t yours either.”
You look at him, staring at his features a minute longer. “I-I mean, it still isn’t. I just went because Danielle and Naeun insisted I go.”
“And because Jake did too?”
“Oh, um,” you stammer, “not really. I-I mean, I’ve been shrugging him off for a while now. I even rejected him for prom last year, remember?”
You swear you saw Sunghoon smirk for a split second. He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m surprised someone even asked you out.”
“Why?” you roll your eyes. “You think I’m not pretty enough?”
“You are.”
“What–”
“You’re too pretty, people are afraid to ask you out.”
Silence.
You stare at Sunghoon, your childhood best friend, with widened eyes. He looks back at you, firmly connecting the eye contact with some kind of determination and genuineness you’ve never quite seen before.
It took a while for you to finally form a response.
“Oh. Um..”
Sunghoon stands up. “Well, then, sleep well. I have to go now.”
“S-so soon?” you blurt out, flabbergasted.
Sunghoon smiles softly. “I have practice tomorrow. Come watch.”
“Of course, I always do,” you nod eagerly. You didn’t know when it all started, but for as long as you remember, Sunghoon and you had always been each other’s biggest supporters. You never really missed any of his hockey matches and most of his practices; and he never truly missed any of your music recitals too.
Your cheeks blush at the thought, and all you could do is gawk at Sunghoon as he ruffles your hair.
“See you later, princess,” he says, pushing your window open. “Sweet dreams.”
˚ ▒ ₊ㅤ Ⳋ᧙ ⁺
To: [email protected] From: sincerely/[email protected]
Hoon!
I’m so excited! A four-day school trip is really what I needed—just spending time with friends with no worry of anything at all… it must be fun. I hope it’s going to be just like how it is in the dramas; where all we do is play games, maybe sort out treasure hunts and eat delicious food all day. I heard the fee’s going to be quite a lot, so I really do hope the activities are worth attending for.
Also, I think I need to restock on sunscreen and some other stuff. I want to ask Heeseung to take me to Olive Young, but if I’m not mistaken he has a resume to work on and my mom’s not letting him go out until he gets that done.
So…
Okay, I’ll just text you if you want to go. Hope you do, and hope you won’t think it’s weird or anything!
Sent 11:09 AM, 8th September.
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Related to your post about Mikey "accidentally delivering low blows when stressed" (Aug 2023) would you hc that it's related to his emotional awareness of his family? Like when he blamed Splinter for letting them go up to the surface, he would know Splinter was already questioning his decision to let them do that, or he calls Splinter out on not being affected by his mutated appearance (when Splinter looks uncomfortable being seen by humans/Shredder)? Basically, what are your further thoughts on it? Has he done this elsewhere?
The post in question for the curious cats
This compilation video as well because my big brain remembered me doing that and it's related to this topic and I meant to do a part 2
Oh, that behavior is 100% related to Mikey's emotional awareness. I'd hardly even call it a headcanon, it's just canon lol.
After not only botching their first fight above ground but failing to stop two kidnappings on their watch, the boys immediately start playing the blame game by pointing out each other's rash decisions and dumb mistakes that led to such an outcome. Obviously, the idea of Splinter's decision being yet another mistake of the sorts was hanging somewhere in the air waiting to be grabbed at, but no one readily went for it as something that needed to be acknowledged as mistake. That's why it's so fascinating to see the writers establish Mikey right out of the gate as someone who isn't afraid to comment on Splinter's decisions and his emotional state when he's making those decisions.
He was certainly aware of their father's doubts concerning them going above ground for the first time because a comment like that doesn't just come out of nowhere.
Granted, this instance was him speaking his mind in the heat of the moment and only realizing how much his words would sting after the fact (especially since they're the ones who convinced Splinter to send them off with their begging), but this becoming a continuous trend of his throughout the series further proves the fact of him being more aware of things than a lot of people pegged him to be.
In Mikey Gets Shellacne, his remark about Splinter telling him not to fret about his appearance when he could hardly bring himself to do the same can be interpreted as a more apparent example of him knowing more than he lets on. It's made rather obvious from the start of the series that Splinter wasn't keen on roaming the streets looking like a giant rat, but that's more of a show and tell deal where both the audience and the characters are left on their own to pick up on such an important yet minor detail. Splinter never tells anyone about his insecurity, nor does anyone in the series talk about it amongst each other, so a moment like this can be a bit jarring when it's framed as Mikey calling out Splinter's opinion on his own appearance.
Though the intent of his comment was to simply call Splinter old, the underlying insult is there and Mikey regrets saying something like that to their father of all people.
Other than letting his frustrations get the better of him and unintentionally plucking at Splinter's insecurities, Mikey is greatly in tuned with the emotions of those around him and will usually pick up on any changes rather quickly. Take these two moments with, funnily enough, him and Splinter near the start of Serpent Hunt.
I previously posted the first clip as a funny little observation, but the scene is more intriguing than my jestful sentence made it out to be. Mikey's attention is split between hanging his goofy pieces of artwork on the wooden boards and listening to April as she announces how the restaurant is starting to look like a makeshift home. It's not until he turns around to joke with her about his drawings that he finally has Splinter in his sights, and his attention evidently begins to drift to Splinter as April is responding to his question (you can literally see his head following Splinter's movements while April is speaking to him😭). And just look at how taken aback he is by Splinter's melancholic expression being on full display:
While Splinter answers Mikey by stating that he's concerned for Casey, Leo and Raph because they've been gone for a while, it's pretty obvious that's not all he's bothered by, and him not being subtle about his troubled mind like usual had enough flags raising in Mikey's mind for him to hop up from his spot. Once the scene transitions to the second clip, Mikey lingers with Splinter in the front of the restaurant while April ventures to the back in search of Donnie to check on his progress with the retro-mutagen, as well as to see if the others made it back yet. Mikey and Splinter decide to follow April as soon as Donnie utters Karai's name, and Mikey is visibly bracing himself for another look of heartbreak on their father's visage:
Splinter moments aside, Mikey recognizes when something is up with his brothers and friends, as well as whether or not he should step in. Of course the prominent moments of him demonstrating his ability to calm Leatherhead and Raph down count among the times when he steps in, but the times when he chooses not to step in shouldn't be understated either.
Take the pre-intro scene in The Cosmic Ocean for example, when April breaks the silence and questions where Leo ran off to. We understand where Raph is coming from when he says that it can't be healthy for Leo to confide in a simulated version of Splinter since it could just make him miss their father more than ever, but Mikey suddenly pops from his laid back position off-screen and joins the conversation:
He's knows as well as Raph that speaking with a simulation of their father isn't exactly ideal, but he also knows that Leo is used to coming home to confide in Splinter for advice whenever he feels his confidence as a leader beginning to waver. The whole gang knows all of this, but once again, Mikey's the only one to verbalize it. Sometimes people need to hear something so obvious outloud to really understand or remember its importance, and Mikey seems to know that best.
I don't really need to mention how his emotional awareness extends far beyond simply knowing when someone is down, or when he is or isn't in a position to help them, but it makes for a decent epilogue to this analysis so-
Him being the least (read: least) temperamental of his brothers automatically puts him in the position of a mediator when there's tension in the group, and it's common knowledge that he'd often go out of his way to ease that tension in his own ways. He sometimes makes jokes, both corny and intelligent, just to get everyone's minds off of the heaviness of a situation, even if that moment of reprieve only lasts for a minute. He attempts to break up fights before they get too far, which sometimes doesn't work because they're a stubborn bunch of turtles (literally the entire first five minutes of New Girl in Town lol), but his efforts are commendable and genuine.
He's exceptionally conscious of changes in the atmosphere and a swing in someone's mood, which could go hand in hand with his sixth sense for weird Kraang stuff if you think about it. But all of this comes together to paint an undeniably clear image of Mikey having a great amount of emotional awareness, and just all around being one of the most emotionally intelligent characters of the series.
#answering your asks#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt 2012#tmnt 2k12#analysis#tmnt michelangelo#tmnt splinter#tmnt leonardo#tmnt raphael#tmnt donatello#tmnt mikey#tmnt leo#tmnt raph#tmnt donnie#tmnt april#2012 mikey#2012 splinter#2012 leo#2012 raph#2012 donnie#2012 april#april o'neil#hamato yoshi#this was initially just tagged with mikey but i ended up adding the others since the post heavily involved them to an extent
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First sounders is here! I got the shining version, his visor lights up! Literally the coolest thing I own right now
Look at him! Yours has Lazerbeak, too!
Mass displaced mech 18+ 🌶️
Everything Is Alright Pt 57
IDW Starscream x Reader, Soundwave x Reader
• Staring at you as you hide your face against his servo you’re still clinging to, he’s frozen. You like him? As in a friend or something more? Needing to ask, but afraid of the answer. Months ago he would have scoffed, likely said ‘of course, you do.’ Now? It matters, you matter. “You like Soundwave, too “ he mutters not meaning to say it, but unable to stop himself. Remembering the other’s scent on you and how at ease you are around the communications officer. Your little face gets even redder, hands going white knuckled at how hard you’re holding into his servo. Wants to stop, let it go instead of trying to find a problem. Sabotaging himself like he always does.
• Throat dry in a mix of humiliation that you’re almost sure he didn’t quite understand what you meant and embarrassment because you do like them both and you have no idea how to explain it to him when you can’t even understand it yourself. Wanting them both, falling in love with them both for different reasons. It’s not like you can help it, you didn’t ask for any of this. But he’s just staring at you, disappointed or angry. You’re too afraid to look up and find out.
• Your silence is answer enough and he tips his head back. Remembering Soundwave’s offer to share. Is that why? Doesn’t want to imagine you in Soundwave’s berth, but can’t help it. Jealousy twisting through him as he mass shifts even knowing fully well he doesn’t have the energy reserves to go back later. That he’s going to be stuck and at the mercy of whoever finds him, but needing to touch you. Needing you. You make a startled noise as he catches you to him, burying his face against your throat. “Star, I thought you said you couldn’t,” you murmur words trailing off when he kisses you, servos fisting in your hair. Needing to feel you against him, to prove to you and him both that you’re his.
• There’s nothing gentle about this kiss, his mouth bruising against yours, all heat and demand that you feel yourself respond to. An arm curling around his neck as one of his big hands grips your butt to crush you to him. Denta nip you bottom lip as he rumbles, dragging you down with you him and shifting over you. There’s no hesitation when you spread your thighs for him and he stretches out on top of you. That mouth leaving yours to press kisses and bites against your neck before pulling away. There’s an angry edge in his optics, in the faint trembling of his wings, that mixes unease with anticipation. Then he’s pulling your pants down over your hips, not even bothering with the closure or your shirt. Just reaching to cup you, stroking with his servos until you tremble.
• Servos sliding against you, he frees his spike and shifts between your thighs to bury himself deep in that welcoming heat. Hips rocking as he lets his head drop against your shoulder, enjoying the way you feel under him. Wanting so much more. Has Soundwave had this? Felt your tight heat gripping his spike? Those little noises you’re making as he props himself up and lazily thrusts, have you made them for anyone else? For Soundwave? Your hands find his wings, stroking over them as he ruts against you. Calming himself with the feel of you under him. Sharing? This is his. You’re his.
• Head thrown back, lips parted you lose yourself in the feel of him moving against you, stroking deep inside you. His venting growls, snarls and hitching groans twining with the wet sound of his spike stroking inside you. His mouth brushes your jaw, your mouth, the crook of your neck as you cling to him. Feel his hand gripping your hip as he goes up to sit with his legs folded under him, dragging your hips up, servos tightening as gets rougher, more urgent. Feeling every deep drive of his spike inside you hitting right there at this angle until you’re crying out.
• Wings shuddering as you tighten on him, milking his spike, he manages a handful more thrusts before he’s coming apart and driving deep to fill you. One of his hands hitting the berth near your head as he bows over you, the exertion of mass displacing and then this catching up and dragging at him. Venting raggedly as you curl your arms around his neck, trying to draw him down to you even as he’s trying to not just collapse on top of you. “Star?”
• Something’s wrong, he’s shaking against you, optics glowing dimmer than normal. Head sagging until his helm is pressed against your shoulder and he mutters what you suspect is profanity in Cybertronian before he’s pulling away enough to slump beside you instead of on you. Head turning to stare at you as panic claws up your throat.
• Rumble and Frenzy still haven’t returned from patrol. Servo tapping idly on his desk, Soundwave glances at where Ravage and Lazerbeak are resting. Knowing the two likely know more than they’re letting on. He’s about to wake them and ask when your panic crashes into him, a living thing tearing through his processor. And he’s on his feet, his chair falling back as he strides from his quarters and down the hall. Not running, but focused on that panic realizing it’s not for you. You’re safe, but terrified. Needing him.
• Hands nervously fluttering over him as he raggedly vents, you don’t know what to do or even what’s wrong. He’d said he didn’t have the energy before to mass shift, but he’d done it anyway. Does he just need energon? You have no idea where to get that and can’t even get down from the berth anyway. Hating being so small when all his stuff is so big. “Star, tell me what to do,” you murmur, leaning over him as his optics shutter, open, shutter again at your touch.
• Drifting from energon deprivation, it’s the sound of his door sliding open that rouses him. Tears a snarl from him as he tries to get up, hooking an arm around your waist to drag you behind. Or to try anyway. And then he realizes it’s Soundwave, because of course it is. Baring his denta at the other Decepticon, because like this? He can’t defend himself. Can’t defend you. Can’t stop Soundwave from ending him and just taking you.
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yes my love to youuuuu, rafayel x reader
c/w: my ignoring the songs meaning and just sticking to the cute parts!1!! might do a fic with th actual meaning tbh... everythings lower case, nothing is beta read, probably ooc, i havent writtn in two years
"stay with me, please- just for one second more." to say he was embarrassed was an understatement. he was quite literally begging you not to stay, he was still groggy from the deep sleep he fell into. unfortunately, his dreams were plagued by sadness, he kept on dreaming about you leaving him. he didnt want you leaving him, hed give you his soul if it meant that you'd stick by his side.
it was night, the moonlights embrace peaking softly through the curtains, bathing him in the tranquil light. tranquil was the night, but his heart contradicted it, beating quickly with fright. his body felt warm, sweat dripping down his forehead- anxiety overtaking him after he was awoken from that dreadful slumber.
however, it was thanks to the moons light that he saw you- your features seemed to glow. making you look ethereal as-you looked at him with worried eyes. you slowly brought your hand to his cheek, where he quickly nuzzled against it out of pure instinct, "don't worry raf, im here. i wont leave you." those purple eyes of his which seemed to be carefully painted by the gods, were full of worry- worry that slowly extinguished.
something seemed to snap back into place now that he realized you were there, he straightened up. "well of course you wont, this fishy is much to good to leave behind." he let out a hmph as he crossed his arms- his chin being held high and eyes closing.
you immediately deadpanned, "of course not, although this.. fishy, might be unbearable, bratty, and a lot of other things, the pros outweight the cons." you rested your head on your hand as you saw him whip his head to you.
his mouth hung open, "you say the pros outweigh the cons, but you only mentioned the cons. i cant believe this." he ploppd back on the sofa, sinking into to emphasize how 'upset' he was.
you chuckled, "mhm, well all i can say is that i wont be leaving you anytime soon, youve seen too many sides of me- you know too much." you teased as you eyed him shamelessly, he did purposefully choose the lower v cut shirt to wear.
"insulting me, staring at me shamelessly, i cannot spend another second here- who knows what you might do to me." hes so dramatic, you thought. but you enjoyed it.
you traced shapes on his cheeks as you sat next to him, and as though it were muscle memory- he melted into your hand. all his previous qualms now dissipated. his pout was evident, however. you chuckled before giving him a peck on his cheek.
although his fear of you leaving him would sometimes prevail, and the end of the day it would leave. because at the end of the day, he still had you.
he could still see your smile, your eyes, he had you.
and he would do anything to make sure it stayed like that, because you had his heart. like how a sailor effortlessly catches fish, you effortlessly caught his attention- and he wouldnt have it any other way.
dividers by @/bloodibambiidoll
a/n: could you guys tell this story started pissing me off halfway through? hes extremely ooc but yk its 10pm and i have school tomorrow so i wont redo it. 😾
#lads fluff#lads x you#lnds x reader#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace#rafayel#love and deepspace rafayel#rafayel love and deepspace#lads rafayel#lnds#lads#fluff#romance#fanfic#fanfiction#evadnesworld
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Peach! Mrs. Pasta here...checking in for the second time in a few days!
Normally I just lurk in and smile to myself when I see your posts and banters with your followers. But tonight I just couldn't resist...
Ramen, bless him, is getting really good at the non-specific, vague-turnaround, deflective answers to personal questions! I'm impressed.
Also...Nobody keeps their hands more to themselves than Ramen does when he's around a lot of salty things. Is he on a low-sodium diet? Is that why he exercises such great self-control when it comes to these things? TBF, he's very gentlemanly when it comes to being around women, especially costars/colleagues.
I can see (most) people on here are either tired, upset, tired, over it, or a combination of both. I can understand that, especially for the mods that run these blogs. I notice that for a lot of people, separation of professional and personal for their favorite celebrity can be a difficult task. I don't blame anyone for feeling that way, it can be hard to "not think about THAT" when you just want to enjoy "THIS". I will say this though.
Something I have found time and again to be true, is that IF something/someone/someplace is meant for you, things will fall into place. If something is NOT meant for you, no matter what you do, things tend to fall apart. You can try and put it back together, but then something else falls. This has happened to me personally recently, where I was in a situation where I wanted to make something work because I thought I had no other choice and I didn't really want to rock the boat further and go searching for something else. Unfortunately, the more I tried, the more I compromised and kept on staying, the worse it got. I'd fix one thing, another would break. I'd get over one hurdle, another inconvenience would pop up. Finally, I decided to take matters in my own hands and started actually listening to what the universe was trying to guide me towards. It was very hard for me to do this, as I'm more of a logical/rational person, than a spiritual one (I don't really like reading signs or feeling energies to tell me what to do)...But I tried a different approach, and started asking the universe, "If this isn't right, what should I do?" And I would listen and wait, and then tangible things would happen, and then I started making different decisions and taking different approaches. Almost immediately, things started changing for the better. I'm in a much better place now (figuratively and literally).
Just some food for thought: Let things play out. They will. And hindsight is always 20/20. Think about it. I believe Anne's blog has a library that can be helpful for those interested. If all else fails, keep coming to Jen's blog where she posts stories, baking, and general hilarity to keep everyone's spirits up. You are truly a beautiful soul, Miss GeorgiaPeach! <3
Mrs. Pasta! Welcome back. Clearly, your presence has been much needed this past week. Which I do say that there is a reason one shouldn’t consume too much sodium. I suppose were all bloated, and now need to fast.
Ramen is quite smart. He’s playing it coy and vague, non-definite answers. He’s doing good, despite a quick facial change with some questions. It’s funny to watch.
For someone that is quite a gentleman and claims to love PDA his hands do seem quite to himself. But it is a family movie after all, wouldn’t want to be too obvious, I suppose.
I think a lot of people are tired, and more so tired of ongoing arguments that suck the life out of the fandom, much like an overly salted diet. So maybe it’s just the influx of salt that has everyone red in the face? But this is why I implore anyone to curate the space that you want. Filter tags, block blogs, unfollow blogs, create the space that you watch to see with personalities that jive well with your own.
The universe is quite a tricky lady. She usually makes way for things that are for you. Usually when you try to fit a square peg in a round hole, you’re met with resistance. You can sit there, and smile you’re doing it, but others around you will eventually be able to see that you are in fact creating a bigger problem with an impossible task. I’m glad you were able to get to a better place once you listened, and were aware that what you’re forcing isn’t for you.
I do think that hindsight is 20/20. There always seems to be something poking around that pops up at the last minute. Eventually things either fall into place, or you’ve created a big mess. @anneslibrary is a great well of information. And of course @annislittleshopofhorrors herself is a peach in her own right. You are a beautiful soul from the inside out as well, Mrs. Pasta. Take care, and never feel afraid to pop on by when you can.
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patreon's twitter icon is genuinely the worst logo i've ever seen. like, at least the silhouette version looks kind of like a p, but i straight up could not figure out what the icon was
it almost looks like some kind of weird brain mass face. very baffling
in case you missed it back when it was A Thing TM, patreon's ceo came out in favour for NFTs then quickly backtracked when literally everyone on twitter started threatening to leave if he dared to incorporate it into Patreon. So, y'know, his ties to brainless tech bros and their grifts are pretty well documented.
#literally just do the thing youre meant to do and do it well#stop trying to turn your app into a '''marketplace of ideas''' like just shut up
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im thinking about celestia and the abyss being literal opposites (chaos and order) and im thinking about childe and lumine being sort of embodiments of that, just not in the way we think. after the latest natlan quest its clear to us what the fatui intends and what they want- i think the tsaritsa more than anything loves humanity, which is why she directly opposes celestia who are known for bringing down different civilizations. childe, as Her weapon and Her blade is an extenction of that: he's a blade forged by the abyss, bathed in Her holyness, meant to strike down those who sin. lumine (talking solely about traveler lumine) is the literal sister of the prince of the abyss, she has clear ties to it and at this point in the story still is hesitant about fully opposing him (i love angst). her entire story revolves around chaose and disrupting celestia's (and the fatui's) order. isnt that fun
i think what childe longs for the most is control- control of himself, his life, his powers, his story, his fate. i think what lumine wants the most is freedom, which is just another phacet of chaos
anyways. you see it. the themes are theming
#i think! childe's character is more interesting if you understand his devotion to the tsaritsa as a way to cope with his abyssal corruption#he wants to be good. he needs to be good. he'll do anything She says because She is holy#and the thing with lumine is just. well obviously she opposes the abyss and the abyss order#but i think what scares her the most is how much she understands her brothers motivation#because in his place she wouldve also done the same (also that is what literally happens in the game if you choose aether as the traveler )#the traveler's achilles heel is their devotion towards the people around the#them *#so she cant even entirely disagree with him because she gets him. because theyre the same in blood and flesh- two parts of a whole star#its why dainsleifs question (do you believe your sibling to have betrayed you?) goes unanswered#to make long matters short- lumine sees more of herself whithin the abyss than whithin celestia#and that scares her#childe on the other hand strives to shine in his goddesses light- anti-celestia or not she's still a goddess meant as an envoy +#for the heavenly principles (how can she oppose that which completes her?)#idk if its a mistranslation but childe has voicelines about stepping on the god's throans#does he hate celestia because they have what he will never have?#the answer is yes- a thought that probably also terrifies him and he probably hates himself for it#anyways#chilumi#need i say more
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Already said this but since everybody is too busy on the failmance happening im gonna say it again: Vi starting their confrontation by saying “never thought [my sister] would orphan kids” only to be stopped from killing jinx. By an orphan kid.
#its about how jinx specifically calls vi her sister. thats WHY she has to kill her she wont balk from that#but vi disowns her as a sister (crazy bc she was her only blood family but thats nbd in zaun) bc thats the only way she can kill jinx#vi just GASSED zaun and is a COP now jinx should be disowning her#it wouldve been SO good if jinx flipped the s1 finale situation#and started asking what vander or mylo or claggor would think while wearing his stolen goggles#if vi wasnt so hot yall would actually call out her bad decisions or red flags but go off ig#bc this scene is also after she watched jayve KILL a kid. not even orphan one! and she was LITERALLY like ‘so? kids be dying.’#anyway the fact that isha is also aware of cait trying to shoot jinx so she hugs her. puts her head in the mf WAY on purpose#and vi has to have the same moment as jayce. ‘what have we done’ you became the very thing you swore to hate sweetheart :))#to have a child from zaun. your home btw. look at you in an enforcer uniform and shes full of fear and rightous fury.#its that day on the bridge again. vi had that same look in her eyes when vander carried her away. when did her lines and her values become#so easy to sway. well bc she loves someone of course. but she betrays you too. i can only laugh#its stupid bc s1 jinx is literally only doing what vi grew up wanting to do for vander. like actually.#bc its the same that they cannot steal from topside so it wouldve meant stealing and fighting and eventually killing people in oposition#like your sister was building nail bombs at 9 years old. you encouraged her. ‘theyll work eventually’ and then she kills and vis like 😰😰🤢🤢#bc she only sees silco. ugh kill me#can somebody talk about THEM please yknow one of the main focuses of the show#arcane#netflix arcane#arcane season 2#arcane s2#arcane spoilers
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girlhood
#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day#like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again#and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her#I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her#and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again#“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her#growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain#and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when#people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it#but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one#and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her#lol!!!!!!!!!
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literally having the worst day ever and i cant ever be happy (has only experienced minor inconveniences today but they keep adding up)
#first of all i didnt get a lot of sleep so im mad tired#second of all the place i usually get lunch on campus said they werent doing bagels at the moment and it ruined me#cuz i was soooo excited to get bagels#third of all i was already cranky so i got all in my feels last night#so i had a dream where my gf who isnt my gf and saw each other on one fo the campuses and she was w her friends#at one point we were both leaving and iw as watcing her and her and her friend knew i was there#so then her friend comes over and shes like '[gf name] loves you so much'#and i was about to cry tears of joy i was like REALLY???#and then her friend started laughing and gestured to my gf who isn't my gf's OTHER friend behind me and she was like 'jk lol she meant#this friend not you el oh el'#and then my gf and her friends were all laughing at me and i burst into tears#and then in full on sobs i was like 'i loved you so much how could you leave me'#and then my gf was just like 'well youre a bad person and you think youre sooooo myseterious and youre a terrible person and i never loved#you' and oh my god it ruined my morning#i know a lot of it was just psychological cuz i was already moody when i went to bed#and i have this werid paranoia where i think her and her friends talk shit about me#which i doubt they do but it still stresses me out#so thats probably why that hapepned#and then on top of all that. fourth of all im getting lunch and i literally see her outside. like i dont see her for days and of course#the day i least want to see her shes right there#i mean im generally doing better than september and i didnt feel the same sinking feeling#i used to in like sept but still like brooooo bro this day could not be worseee#the only good thing that happened was that i passed my physics exam <3#also yeah again i said these are minor inconveniences im just frustrated lol#sunny rambles
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That different people can engage with the same piece of media and come out of it with wildly different interpretations is a testament to the evolutionary miracle that is the human brain. It is also very annoying.
#but i'm gonna mind my own business.#like the point of saw and luthen's characters TO ME isn't 'Both Sides Bad' it's 'revolution is ugly beyond belief and#if you make it out alive it won't be with clean hands EVEN IF your cause is just and the alternative (fascism) is unbearable.#i think the audience is meant to be disturbed by their accelerationist tactics we are meant to think about whether the ends really justify#the means we are meant to think about whether 'good' is something you believe or something you do or something in between.#we as the audience of a prequel series also have the benefit of near-omniscience bc WE know that while saw and luthen are poking the bear#and playing with human lives like they're chess pieces the empire is actively building a weapon capable of blowing up entire planets#and mass-murdering billions which they will later use without hesitation. saw and luthen DON'T know that which complicates things further.#collapsing all that nuance and reducing it to Both Sides Bad is. well. reductive. but like i said i'm gonna mind my own business (lying).#btw i say all of this as someone who studied real-life parallels of these kinds of things extensively in school and had to stop because#i was too much of a kumbaya pacifist and it quite literally drove me insane.#so if anybody came out of that show saying Both Sides Bad it should've been me. and yet. like idk man at the end of the day#there is a difference between a rebellion using violence to claw back an imperfect democracy and a brutally repressive empire.#sorry i promise i'll stop talking about this show someday but ummm that day is not today. apparently.
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sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.
and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.
and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.
#gray.txt#and you know. obviously i personally have my own clear ideas of everything. and i'm content with what i got. this isn't coming from a place#of Well victor is my favorite guy so everything should be about him LOL. i know what he is.#but thats only because i spent like what? 2 years now watching random interviews and analyzing the smallest details within the show that#genuinely meant nothing while they were writing the scripts. and then throwing some random ideas at the wall to see if they stick.#and i just dont think everybody should have to do that LOL. and i think gus's character gets a lot more interesting#when do you do have this clear idea of victor and tyrus in your head and how he interacts with them. but 99% of people dont have that!#nobody fucking knows everything giancarlo and vince ever said about box cutter. nobody knows about the interview where giancarlo referred t#his entire business (meth and restaurant) as his 'family'. and they'd never think of that in those terms#because with the exception of his restaurant workers and mike#it feels like he HATES them LMAO.#tldr all i'm saying is i think we could've benefited from at least one 1 minute long scene of victor and gus exchanging words#where it doesn't end in gus snapping the phone in half out of anger. and also let tyrus speak his mind and have gus agree with him once#also yeah sorry this is all over the place but it is somehow the most coherent i have felt in months so this is as good as its getting sorr#sorry .#also to be clear about my earlier statement that’s a lie my idea of those two is not clear in my head whatsoever i just meant in comparison#to literally the average viewer. and my own personal thoughts about them aren’t even true it’s just opinions and guesses.#and i love a character that i can just say shit about but at the same time i think it’s fun to have idk something in the source material#that you can actually use while thinking and not have to dig around 11 year old reddit AMAs#and that money paragraph sort of came out of order what i meant by saying all that is like#i feel those two could benefit from a clear motivation for why they do all the things they do#and if we have neither personal reasons nor monetary reasons then it just makes them feel like one dimensional henchmen or something#came out of no where* not order you dumb fuck (< me)#also it doesn’t have to be clear in our faces or anything whatever you know what i’m saying . this is too long i can’t keep elaborating
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able bodied autistic people when they see activism explicitly about physical disability
#LIKE SHUT UOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPP#sorry#No Im not#This isn’t a chronically online thing like I have literally watched abled autistics take up the disability services meant for#Physically disabled people just because “well I’m ~mentally disabled~”#Like cool why does that impede your ability to climb the stairs#Do the long steps give u sensory overload#cripple punk#This is explicitly about abled autistic people btw bc I see y’all turning it over to adhders#But I very rarely see able bodied adhd people feeling entitled to physically disabled spaces the way y’all do
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First day back at the university and I still suck at this exactly as much as I did 4 years ago
#i wish doing something over and over actually made it easier from then on#how come i've done this so many times and i'm still as horrified by the prospect of group projects and exams and all as in the very start#can they invent a higher education that doesn't require you to prepare a group project for every damn subject that exists#can they also invent an intercating with people#in a way that doesn't leave me feeling like the only person on earth who somehow doesn't get it#how do people just start talking and becoming friends :( it's literally impossible for me#it's such a mystery. how the hell do they all do this. what's your fucking secret !!!!!!!!!#not that i expected to become friends with anyone in one day#but one day was already enough for me to start feeling as alienated and othered from everyone else as i've always felt#like god it's always the same damn thing. each year i hope it'll be different and it's still the fucking same#i try to appear nice and approachable and chime in to the conversation whenever i can (just like i've been doing for the past 4 years)#but i guess there must just be something deeply wrong with me that makes everyone avoid me in the end anyway#am i really that unfriendable. can anyone tell me what i'm doing wrong#and why no one is interested in holding a conversation with me for more than 5 minutes in total#it's literally back to the same thing that i've done over and over before and i truly don't see any point in any of this anymore#it's just so ridiculous 😭😭😭 why do i even keep trying at this point#back to school so back to crying alone in my room every evening i guess#how beautiful how poetic. i almost forgot this was the daily standard for the entire past year#never getting out of this ok i get it :))#friendship was meant to be for everyone but me i get it now!!!#worst year ever everything bad is happening. going to my first funeral on thursday i'm definitely going to take that well hahaha#it's been only a day and i'm already so done. ok.#i'm freaking out man what am i even supposed to be doing anymore. it's all pointless
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