#literally everything that happened on hoth

[dinlukewarrior]

empire strikes back is the best star wars movie. incidentally, it is also the sexiest star wars movie

[c-e-d-dreamer]

Barbarian Bat: Part One

A/N: It's everyone's favorite day of @nessianweek aka AU Day! And I'm taking everyone to Not-Hoth for it ;) That's right. It's the Ice Planet Barbarians and ACOTAR crossover that literally nobody asked for. Unfortunately, I didn't finish it all in time for Nessian Week, but hopefully, everyone enjoys this first part :) Also, I jokingly named this document Barbarian Bat in my files because I thought it was funny, but then I realized I accidentally matched the actual names of the series in a way (aka Barbarian Lover, Barbarian Mate, Barbarian Mine etc. etc.) so I decided to keep it.

Read on AO3 // Next Part

Nesta just barely swallows down a sigh, curling her knees tight against her chest. She watches across the cave at the way Feyre is curled up beside Rhysand, watches the way he has an arm so casually slung behind her back like it’s the most natural thing in the world, watches the way he leans down to say something quietly and makes Feyre laugh. It’s so comfortable, so easy, Feyre stepping so seamlessly into the role of the Chief’s mate as if the Mother herself predestined it. As if everything that happened, that they went through, is nothing more than a distant memory that led to this moment, this happiness.

Feyre turns her head, tilting her chin up so that she can kiss Rhysand, and Nesta has to look away. Her gaze flits instead around the rest of the cave, to the other human women and sa-khui sat around and in the hot spring that takes up most of the space at the center of the cave. Everyone is chatting or smiling, and Nesta presses her knees that little bit tighter against her chest, digs her nails in that little harder into her arms. She just doesn’t understand how everyone can be so normal. How everyone can act like this whole thing is normal.

“Hello, Nes.”

Nesta snaps her head to the right, finding Cassian standing there, his dark, curly hair falling around his face for once, around the horns twisting up and back. He folds his long legs to settle into the seat beside her, offering her one of his easy smiles that tugs the left side of his lips up higher than the right, that shows off his fanged canines.

“What do you want?” Nesta asks, hoping her cool, clipped tone will scare him off the way the rest of the sa-khui have steered clear of her. Unsurprisingly, Cassian’s grin only seems to grow, his glowing eyes almost seeming to glint.

“I brought you some meat,” Cassian explains, holding out his hands and showing off the food in question. “I have burned it the way you humans like.”

Nesta rolls her eyes and turns away from him. “I’m not hungry.”

Cassian is silent for a moment, and when Nesta chances a glance back toward him, he’s frowning in confusion. “You must be. You have not eaten at all today.”

“What? Are you watching me?”

“Yes.”

Nesta scoffs at that. If there’s one thing these aliens are terrible at, it’s reading a room. She decides not to deem him with a response, hoping that with her extended silence, he’ll finally take a hint and leave her alone. Instead, she focuses on the steam that curls off the hot spring, watching as it floats and dances through the air before vanishing.

“Are you sick? Should I ask Madja to speak with your khui?” Cassian continues when Nesta doesn’t answer. He reaches a hand up toward her face, but Nesta is quick to smack it away before his fingers can make contact against her skin.

“Don’t touch me.”

Cassian shifts so he’s kneeling in front of Nesta. It blocks her view of everyone else in the cave, but it shields her from any prying gazes too. It’s their own bubble, their own cocoon cast by the wide set of his shoulders. His face is pinched with concern, eyes watching her face in that unnerving way of his. Something in that stare has always had Nesta swearing that he could see through her in a way no one ever has, swearing that he could somehow see all the way down to her soul. From the moment Nesta met Cassian back on the crashed ship, that stare had her hackles raising, had her building her defensive walls that little bit thicker, that little bit taller.

“Are you well, Nes?” Cassian asks, his voice quiet and just for her.

Nesta almost wants to laugh at the question, at the absurdity of the notion of her ever being alright. How could anyone be alright after being kidnapped by aliens right from the safety of their bed? She's not sure she'll ever forget the feeling of waking up in a literal cage on that ship. She'll never forget the sight of both her sisters huddled together, both still in their night things and Elain silently crying. She'll never forget the fear that gripped her when Feyre, stubborn and determined as ever, decided to brave the snow of the unknown planet around them. She was sure that she'd never see her youngest sister again, watching her climb out of the safety of what remained of the cargo hold of the spaceship.

She sees it all every time she closes her eyes. She feels the cold metal biting into her skin through the thin material of her sleep shorts. She hears the hum of the engines as they flew through space, hears the clicks of those weird basketball head aliens. She feels that roiling fear twisting in her gut, tastes the tang of failure at the back of her tongue when she realized it wasn't just her but her sisters too that were going to suffer, that she couldn't save them.

Even now, even in this cave supposedly surrounded by aliens who say they only want to help, who swear they'll protect Elain and Feyre, Nesta can't shake that feeling. It still makes her pulse jump. Still makes her stomach twist and turn. Still has bile crawling up the back of her throat. Still makes her chest feel tight enough that it takes active effort to breathe in and out.

So, Nesta lets out a derisive snort, keeping her tone cold and cruel. “Are you fucking with me? I was thrown onto an alien planet covered in snow, and I have this stupid blue alien that never shuts up, that can’t take a hint and leave me alone, and you want to know if I’m well?”

Cassian continues to frown at her, and Nesta wonders if she’s finally hit the mark to drive him away, if she’s finally crossed the line. Wonders if he’ll give up on her now, grow tired of the effort and decide to cut his losses and walk away. She hates the way her heart gives a squeeze at the prospect, quickly squashing that feeling back down.

Rather than hear what Cassian might have to say, Nesta pushes up to her feet and walks away, pointedly ignoring the way she can feel Cassian’s stare prickling along her spine the whole way. She heads for the bathroom, ready to unwind for the evening and take refuge away from any more annoying aliens with piercing stares and concerned words in her personal cave, but when Nesta pulls down her pants, a small, quiet ping draws her attention.

She bends forward, squinting down at the ground in confusion, when she sees the culprit of the sound. Her blood runs cold, a ringing taking up home in her ears and her chest starting to heave with panicked breaths. Her fingers tremble as she reaches down and picks it up.

It’s an IUD.

It’s her IUD, the one thing that’s been keeping her from resonating with anyone.

“Fuck,” Nesta mutters to herself, her heart starting to thunder between her ribs.

Nesta tries to take a deep, calming breath in, but the air stutters in her lungs, catching on the lump pressing in around her throat. She curls her palm around the tiny device, her grip tight enough that her fingers bite into her skin, but just that small shock of pain is somehow grounding. She can’t let the panic get to her. She merely needs to come up with a plan, with her next steps.

The next breath that Nesta takes in is much more steady, and with a decided nod, she steps back out into the intricate cave system. Thankfully, there’s no one around and she’s able to slip back to her personal cave without running into anyone. She quickly slides the privacy screen into place, stepping over to the side of the cave where her furs are laid out. She grabs a pack and starts to stuff her spare leathers inside, tying a pair of snow-shoes to the straps before she stashes it in the corner out of sight.

And then she waits.

Nesta climbs beneath her furs and rolls over so her back is to the cave entrance. She keeps her focus on the wall instead, on keeping her breathing slow to give the illusion that she’s asleep. She’s not sure how much time passes before she hears light, lilting laughter just outside the cave, hears the deep rumble of a response. The privacy screen slides aside and Gwyn steps inside, quiet rustling coming from the other side of the cave as she slips beneath her own furs.

Despite the quiet that settles through their cave, Nesta can still hear the sounds of others in the main cave, but soon that dies down too. And then, just to be safe, she begins to count. She counts all the way up to a thousand before she finally sits up and pushes her furs down her legs. Keeping her movements slow, careful, she rolls her furs up, pausing periodically and glancing back toward Gwyn’s sleeping form. When her furs are gathered, she grabs her pack again, adding the furs and sliding the straps over her shoulders.

She pulls the privacy screen away from the cave entrance inch by slow inch, each scrape along the stone floor too loud in the silent cave and causing her to whip her head back around to check on Gwyn. When there’s finally enough space, she sticks her head out to check everything really is clear. The area around their cave is all empty; although it’s not all quiet. Nesta can hear one of the other women having an exciting end to her evening, and she rolls her eyes. At least, she can use it to her advantage, fully stepping out of the cave and carefully sliding the privacy screen back in place behind her.

She keeps to the walls, to the shadows, as she moves toward the main cave. Her steps are light but quick, and soon, the entrance is in sight. Freedom is in sight. Nesta spies two aliens on guard and standing between her and said freedom, Balthazar and some other name she can’t remember, but they seem to be invested in some sort of game that involves dice carved from bone.

It’s now or never clearly.

Holding her breath and keeping her eyes on the two aliens the whole time, Nesta makes a break for the cave entrance. It’s only when she steps outside that she finally releases the breath in relief, but she doesn’t waste any more time. She grabs her snowshoes and straps them onto her boots, readjusting her pack against her back and marching through the snow. Her steps are slow moving with the way her feet still sink in with every step, but her determination is stronger. She squints up at the sky, at the two moons glowing amongst the inky blacks and purples and tries to remember the way. They had passed a thick forest of trees, or what counts as trees on this godsforsaken planet, and there was—

“Nes!”

Nesta’s whole body freezes up at the sound of that nickname, at the sound of that familiar voice. She decides that she’ll just ignore him. Maybe, he’ll just assume that she’s going for an evening stroll, that she’s just getting some fresh air, and he’ll leave her alone. Of course, she should have known better when it comes to Cassian. Should have known that with his long legs, it would take him only a few strides to catch up with her.

“Nes, what are you doing?” Cassian’s grin falls away as he takes in her pack. “Where are you going?”

“I’m fine,” Nesta snaps, continuing to trudge forward through the snow. “Just leave me alone.”

“You should not be out here at night. It is dangerous.”

“I said I’m fine. I’m just going to the spaceship, the Elder’s Cave, whatever the fuck you call it.”

“Come back inside. We can go in the morning.”

“No,” Nesta argues. She can feel panic beginning to well up in her chest, digging in its claws and clogging her throat. “You don’t understand. I have to…”

Nesta’s words trail off as a strange sort of vibrating starts to take up home between her ribs, sending warmth ricocheting through Nesta’s veins all the way down to her toes. The hum even reaches her ears, seeming to grow faster, louder with each passing second. It’s somehow unsettling and leaves her feeling comforted at the same time, and Nesta is about to ask Cassian if he hears it too when she notices the way his eyes widen. The way he presses a hand to his chest, that odd humming seeming to echo from him too, a response to her own.

Realization of what’s happening hits Nesta like a bucket of ice water, that warm feeling vanishing quickly into icy dread. She swears that she’s going to be sick, her stomach twisting and roiling as she and Cassian continue to resonate with one another. This can’t be happening. She refuses to let this happen.

“No no no,” Nesta mutters, already shaking her head and backing away from him. Her snowshoe gets stuck with the movement and sends her stumbling backwards. Cassian’s hands reach out to her, but almost on instinct, Nesta’s entire body flinches. “Don’t touch me.”

Cassian’s expression looks pained, but slowly he reaches a single hand palm up toward her. “I just wish to help you up.”

Nesta can feel heat start to creep up her neck, but she swallows it back down. She settles her hand in Cassian’s, allowing him to pull her up and back onto her feet. As soon as she’s steady, he drops her hand and takes a pointed step back, giving her space, and Nesta hates the way her heart squeezes and swells at the gesture. Words twist and clog in the back of her throat, pressing and desperate for release, but she swallows them down and wraps her arms around herself.

“Are you going to make me go back inside now?” Nesta asks instead, staring Cassian down, daring him. “Lock me away in your cave?”

“No,” Cassian tells her, and Nesta’s shoulders slump in relief. “But only if you tell me why you wish to go to the Elder Cave so urgently.”

Nesta considers lying to him, considers making up some easy excuse, but she has a strong suspicion that Cassian would see straight through it. “There’s a… device that I have from earth. It’s what kept me from resonating, from having a mate, until now. It’s fallen out, and I need to go to the spaceship because it has a machine that can… put it back in basically.”

“And that’s what you want? To have it put back and to stop resonating.”

“Well, I certainly don’t want to be resonating right now.”

Cassian is quiet for a moment, and Nesta can do nothing but watch as a muscle in his jaw ticks beneath the moonlight. He turns his face away from her, gaze searching across the snow banks, and when he finally looks back at her, there’s something different about his expression, something colder, more closed off. Since the moment that Nesta has met him, there’s always been a warmth to Cassian, an easy openness that’s been a bit terrifying, especially when it’s directed at her, but now, it’s as if his own walls have risen and slid into place.

“Then I will escort you to the Elder Cave,” Cassian finally says. “I just need to grab a pack.”

Cassian turns and starts to move back toward the cave entrance, but Nesta steps forward and reaches out instinctively. “Wait! Will…” She takes a moment to swallow hard. “Will they know? That we resonated? They can't know, Cassian.”

“Almost the entire tribe is already asleep,” Cassian explains, not bothering to turn and look at her, his shoulders tense. “And if you stay out here and wait for me, then our khuis should be silent for now.”

“Okay…”

“Just stay here and wait for me.” Cassian finally turns to look at her again, a flicker of desperation dancing across his face. “Please.”

When Nesta doesn’t say anything else, when she doesn’t move, Cassian jogs the rest of the way to the entrance of the cave, and Nesta watches as he vanishes inside. A breeze blows past her, a shiver skittering its way up her spine, and she wraps her arms tighter around herself to fight off the chill. She glances out toward the expanse of snow around her, the light of the two moons bouncing off the crystalized flakes and leaving everything with an almost eerie glow. It’s unnerving, the quiet and the dark, and while Nesta would never admit it aloud, she’s suddenly glad that Cassian will be traveling with her.

As though her very thoughts have summoned him, the sound of a deep voice prickles her ears. The sounds of multiple deep voices. Nesta whips her attention back toward the cave entrance, her stomach dropping when she sees not just Cassian but Azriel standing there. They stop just outside the cave entrance, too far away for Nesta to hear what they’re saying, but it’s clear what, or whom, the topic of conversation is from the way Azriel’s gaze darts toward her.

Nesta waits for them to approach her. Waits for Cassian to announce their journey isn’t happening. Waits for Azriel to tell her to come back inside the cave. She considers what would happen if she refuses, if she decides to take her chances and see how far she can get trekking through the snow. But before she can even take a step, Cassian and Azriel are clasping forearms, Azriel turning and vanishing back inside the cave.

Nesta watches warily as Cassian walks back over to her. She tries to read his expression, tries to look for any sort of clue about what was said between him and Azriel, but Cassian keeps his face decidedly blank. It’s odd not seeing that teasing smirk he always directs at her, the wrongness of it all clanging through Nesta hard enough that she has to look away.

“What was that about?” Nesta asks once Cassian is close enough. “What did Azriel want?”

“Do not worry about it,” Cassian dismisses, tugging her pack off her shoulders and slinging it alongside the one on his own. “It’s this way.”

Something about his tone, about the way he starts to walk away from her through the snow without even a glance back, has her anger flaring. Those flames lick across her skin and leave her blood simmering. She’s been itching for a fight for a while now, pushing down the urge to let it all boil over, to release her claws, but she gives in to that feeling now. Clenching her fists at her side, she whirls around, storming after Cassian through the snow.

“So, what? Now you’re mad you have to escort me?” Nesta calls after him. “Did you forget that I didn’t ask you to? I was perfectly fine on my own.”

Cassian stops walking, turning back to face her, his tone dripping with a dry sort of sarcasm that Nesta didn’t know the sa-khui were capable of, as he drawls, “sorry I thwarted your wish to get eaten by a snow-cat.”

“You have no idea what I wish,” Nesta seethes, daring to step closer until they’re toe to toe.

“I know that you do not wish to be mates. You have made that perfectly clear.”

The words hang in the air between them, carried away on the night breeze. The world is quiet around them, nothing except their heaving breaths as Nesta glares up at him, Cassian meeting her stare head-on, a twin flame to meet her own blazing through his eyes. But it’s Cassian that breaks away first, taking a step back and readjusting the two packs slung across his backs before he continues the trek through the snow.

“It’s this way.”

—

Updated Taglist (let me know if you’d like to be added or removed): @moodymelanist @nesquik-arccheron @sv0430 @talkfantasytome @bookstantrash @eirini-thaleia @ubigaia @fromthelibraryofemilyj @luivagr-blog @lifeisntafantasy @superspiritfestival @hiimheresworld @marigold-morelli @sweet-pea1 @emeriethevalkyriegirl @pyxxie @dustjacketmusings @hallway5 @dongjunma @glowing-stick-generation @melonsfantasyworld @isterofimias @goddess-aelin @melphss @theladystardust @a-trifling-matter @blueunoias @kookskoocie @wolfnesta @blurredlamplight @hereforthenessian @skaixo @jmoonjones @burningsnowleopard @whyisaravenlike-awritingdesk @ofduskanddreams @rarephloxes @thelovelymadone @books-books-books4ever @tenaciousdiplomatloverprune @that-little-red-head @readergalaxy @thesnugglingduck

[lets-laughagain]

Hi! I saw that you were in 3 shows of Louis in Brasil. Do you mind sharing your favorite moments of each show? If you do mind ignore my ask, I just love reading fan experiences of Louis' shows.

I hope you have a nice day!

hiii i'm sorry it took so long, i was enjoying the rest of my vacation then i got sick due to the different weathers in every city 😬, but anyways here we gooo

i know you asked for my favorite moments but i talk too much and rambled about everything kjsdnadsk

RIO I got to the venue at 7pm, after a lot of traffic and anxiety 🫠, and there was still a big line to get in making giant rooks go on stage 15 minutes later than expected. I had listened a bit to them when the opening acts were announced but i loooved seeing them live, their concert was so much fun, i had a lot on my mind that day but as soon as they started playing my worries were gone like, music is everything really.

The venue's capacity is for 18k people, but i guess there were about 12k there? I'm not sure but, the chairs around me were half empty (a lot of people moved to closer seats), the floor was full but the stands not so much yk. It makes sense when you think it was on a wednesday and a lot of people couldn't make it.

As I went alone to this one and there weren't many people around me it was like me and louis and just letting out all of my emotions. Idk if it happens to anyone else, but I get a lot more emotional when I'm alone at shows. I don't even have much to say here cause I was really there in the moment giving my all, screaming my lungs out to hoth and feeling all this time deep in my soul (the drama lmao).

SÃO PAULO I was really tired after barely a day of rest at home, then packing another bag to curitiba, it was hectic, but thank god i had stands tickets again and my friends got there ealier and saved a seat for me.

Not to paraphrase harry but, that show was loud, loud and LOUD. Seriously, I've never seen so many people scream and jump for an opening act?? I was actually kinda shocked at how full the stadium was, its full capacity is 60k but as they were using only half the space i guess there were about 25k-30k people, it was really packed. Like, that video from outside the stadium that you can hear the screams is kinda crazy if you think it wasn't at full capacity.

This concert left me so proud of him, of how far he has come, like he said with no radio support or anything, seeing him in my favorite venue in my city with so many people screaming for him was something really special. This one was really about US, the fans and louis, i can't say it enough but the crowd was like part of the show too. Also, the big stage, the catwalk, the fireworks, those things made it all so much bigger, like a celebration for where he is now. I'll never forget his face impressed by the crowd like every five seconds, he deserves it all, i love this man to death.

His only wrongs that day tho were wearing that ugly outfit and not singing saturdays on a saturday!!!!

CURITIBA I had slept for like 4 hours, took a flight in the morning and spent the whole day kinda sick and anxious, I really do not know were i took forces to this concert but i did and i gave 200% of myself. I had floor tickets this time so i let myself go and jump around like crazy.

We stayed in the left side of the stage were it was a lot more chill and we could walk around. Most of the time I stayed a bit close to the stage but not so much cause i like having my own space to breath, sometimes I'd get closer to record something. By the encore I found an empty space in the far left of the barricade to see him better during silver tongues.

For me it was the most fun concert, you could see louis was happy, there was a group in front of me dancing and having so much fun together, like he said no one will stand still in a brazilian crowd that's for sure! Also, there was this girl who was talking to us before the concert who found me during the encore and we literally just screamed wdbhg at each other lmao i don't even know her name, but i can't stop thinking about it, it was really funny.

Oh and that outfit!!!! The way i screamed when i saw him in all black, i kept looking at my friends like why the fuck does this man look so good!!! WE WON!!!!

When the barricade moment happened I was only looking at him so I didn't understand what was going on, then by the end my friends said he was with a kid, but only when i got to the apartment we were staying i saw the full context and video, that broke me. He so sweet and precious, it makes everything i did for him so much more worth it than it already was, this plus the donations for Rio Grande do Sul filled my heart with so much love for him.

Also, after the concert we were trying to buy merch, but most sizes were sold out, the line was huge and security was hushing people out of the stadium 🙃 then 10 minutes later we found out louis was playing football at the pitch lmao

Some other points - I absolutely LOVE the stage design, the lights and screens going up and down work so great, it's amazing to witness it live - THE BAND, i don't even need to say anything right? his band is fucking incredible, i live for every single guitar solo from michael - The 2 seconds that takes people to realize that he is singing night changes and wdbhg are the funniest shit istg kskdnkll - People will ask me why I would go to the same concert 3 times, and just istg it IS different, they are all different experiences and i'd do it all over again (which i actually did, cause i saw louis twice and harry 3 times in 2022)

---

Last but not least, i will to speak in portuguese to thank my friends skjndkjsan

Eu sei que ela não vai ler, mas muito obrigada @hiddlestomlinson por aceitar fazer essa maluquice comigo, por vir até SP, ir pra Curitiba e me aturar por 5 dias seguidos, mesmo com tanto cansaço e doença foi tudo maravilhoso 🥹💜

@delicatepointofview de novo, muito obrigada por me ajudar tanto no Rio e pelo ingresso de última hora, mesmo passando por tanta coisa você foi um anjo 🥹 só conseguimos nos ver de longe, desse 🤏 tamanho, mas da proxima vem aí!!

@somuchstrdst e @icouldbeluckyagain amei encontrar e curtir um pouco do show com vocês!! NÓS VENCEMOS MUITO!!! ste, eu ate tava vendo seu recap hoje tomando café da tarde ajksndkjs

[wildpeachfarm]

i have to agree with the other anon, with both dream and george. i didnt need to know any of that shit, i had no right to know any of that shit!

like with the dream creepshot im sorry but if i was photographed at such an intimate private moment i would break down crying and puking my guts out, none if this is normal, its horrifying disgusting and violating. im not even gonna touch the shit his ex shared with literal neo-nazis to get back at him its gonna make me spiral

and im gonna be dead fucking honest here, if any of this shit happened to a woman it would be a catastrophic scandal, but since hoth george and dream are men no one gives a shit. i tried to keep a level head but this situation and every other situation including everything dream went through makes me deeply ashamed of being a woman. i know its stupid and that its irrational but its true for me, i'm fucking ashamed i share anything in common with those people and that spaces went from one extreme (never believing women) to another extreme (woman are soft uwu babies that can do no wrong ever). we have lost the fucking plot

Yeah the creepshot will ALWAYS be weird because that person was just doing it to brag about hooking up with him, and celebrities are people too and should not be publicly violated like that ESPECIALLY DREAM who has had soooo much private info about him shared by people who only did it to humiliate and shame him

And i do think people will air out any shit possible (private or not) about men in these situations and it won't be considered an issue in the same way male victims of assault are not treated with the seriousness that women are in a lot of instances (I mean look at freddie). I understand the information is important in these situations, but RELEVANT INFO, not random private info that we could've done without

[thatbxolivia]

daddy!vader headcanons

agere!!

in this he wasn’t burned from the neck up but still everything else happened. @ me idc

also this is nothing like actual canon vader so 🤷‍♀️

* similar in how he treats you when he was anakin

* may not be able to play with you as much as he likes, both from his busy schedule and because of his physical pain. doesn’t mean he loves you any less, if anything his love for you has grown with your acceptance of him.

* favorite thing to do with you is just sit by you while you sleep. he’s always in the suit practically and doesn’t sleep himself, so the least he can do is sit by you and make sure you have good dreams through the force. uses this time to meditate for himself as well. it brings you peace and comfort waking up to your daddy right next to you every time.

* trained using his new hands to be able to braid your hair. he knows you like the hairstyle and doing your hair for you is a simple yet intimate thing he can do for you.

* simple and intimate. that’s basically the entire relationship. he makes sure you’re always surrounded by softness and ease and loves you for you.

* you get whatever you want. he has so much money and uses literally NONE of it on himself.

* any toy you want is yours. you get all the best clothes. you even have a small pet loth cat he got just for you. his name is peanut and you love him very much and honestly, so does your daddy, even if he’ll never admit it. he’ll cuddle into his lap whenever daddy sits and watches over you while you sleep. your two favorite guys 🥰.

* you have your own room which is a stark difference to the rest of the castle. covered in rugs and blankets and soft colors, a complete difference to your daddy’s usual all black aesthetic.

* he can’t give you baths anymore because he can’t get his limbs or suit wet, but he will help you in and dry you off and stay with you the entire bath, talking you through bathing yourself if you’re really small.

* you have your duck robe from when he was anakin, it was your favorite and he went back to your old shared apartment on coruscant just to get it for you. because another wouldn’t do. you wanted that one specifically.

* when he’s in his tank, you sit by him and talk. even if he can’t reply, the company helps. knowing you’re there, it’s all he needs.

* you have another house to escape to on Naboo. lots of open land and a lake near by, and peanut LOVES it. the two of you will play outside while your daddy watches, his heart full.

* will take off his helmet for short amounts of time because he can, and sing very softly to you to help you fall asleep. he always had a good voice, and while his voice isn’t nearly as strong as before, he still whispers the lyrics to you and lulls you to sleep every night. he’d do anything for you. there’s no destination far enough and no grave deep enough to keep him from crawling home to you.

* loves to wrap you in a blanket and snuggle you into his lap while the two of you are in his chamber, he knows it can get cold. there he can be without his helmet for longer. this is also where he eats and he’ll feed you as well.

* allows you to go out when you want to do adult stuff so long as you tell him where you’re going and take guards with you from his legion. you’re actually nice to them, unlike how your daddy usually is, so they don’t mind being on what’s practically babysitting duty.

* you love going on vacations with him. your favorite place to go is Hoth because of the snow. again, like in the chamber, he’ll bundle you up and sit you in his lap while you babble about your favorite things on the planet.

* the only ones who know about your regression are him, the guards, and some of the inquisitors. they’re not mean to you but they’re not really nice, either. just polite and kind of indifferent, just enough to not get into trouble with your daddy. the one inquisitor you actually like is kol, the grand inquisitor. you knew him when he was a temple guard before the war. he would watch you occasionally then. he is still your current first choice for babysitting.

* will play hide and seek with you. when you’re feeling like a baby, this is your FAVORITE activity and he knows this. he’ll take his helmet off to be less scary and make silly faces when he peeks out.

* goes all out for your birthday. cake, candles, balloons, the whole nine yards. and SO MANY presents. gives you an entire week of spoiling because one day is just NOT enough for his baby.

* will pick you up and place you on his hip. he can’t use his physical strength anymore so he uses the force to help carry you now but he refuses to not be able to carry his baby girl.

* last but not least, he’s your favorite person. you go to him for EVERYTHING. to rant, for advice, i mean it. any and everything you need or want assistance with, he’s there at any moment in time. there’s nothing more important than you to him.

[sullustangin]

Spoilers Ahoy: Consular Thoughts

I’m doing a quickie consular story  re-playthrough, and ... I have thoughts, mainly about the companions.

I do like the overall story arc until Chapter 3 when everyone except the Selkath thinks going to Belsavis to make friends is a great idea.  Awakening an imprisoned army is a terrible idea.  This is sort of how I feel about my OC confronting Malgus alone in prison recently: I don’t have a choice not to be stupid, and I HATE that.  LS is “Gonna get new friends for the Republic” and DS is more like “Gonna get new friends to serve me.”  THESE GUYS ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS.  It’s a lot of risk and no guarantee of reward. I’d mark this as ‘a jump the shark’ moment. 

The Consular also has the inverse problem of the Bounty Hunter:  BH gets all the lighter companions first (Mako most of all) and then gets DS only at the end (death to Skadge).  Meanwhile, the consular gets a Hunt All The Things Uncle Lizard, Guy Who Literally Lives in the Basement with his Holo Girlfriend, and a politically inclined Murder!Noodle. Consular only gets LS Felix and LS Nadia as the last two companions, which results in some problems -- they’re also the romance options, which gives them the least amount of development in the vanilla game. 

To be fair, I think Felix Iresso is one of the least problematic guys in the SWTOR universe.  He’s so kriffin’ sweet.  He’s perfect for a young Jedi.  I totally think there was an attempt at a Jace/Satele parallel here. It’s not toxic and it’s well-paced... minus the fact that he doesn’t show up until Hoth.  Yes, I know what’s in his head...but he’s still a good person before and after the experience in Vanilla.  (I know how he was done dirty in his return -- poor sweet man.) 

For perspective, Hoth is when the smuggler gets their last companion, Guss Tuno.  Corso (f!smug romance option) was acquired in Chapter 1, and Risha (m!smug romance option 1) was acquired at Chapter 1′s end.  Akaavi was acquired in Chapter 2 after Balmorra (option 2).  Even then, Akaavi’s relationship feels better paced just by having her a whole planet early.  I know @swtorpadawan​ and others have commented on how fast the Nadia Grell romance is.  Pair that with her relative youth -- even with the consular being super young themselves, it still feels ‘yikes’, especially in the context you romance her.

I love and hate Qyzen.  He’s a great first companion, part of a cultural immersion experience for a young Jedi.  His hunting for the Scorekeeper works in contrast to the peace that the consular seeks to establish, and yet it does provide a path to that -- sometimes, you do have to fight for the 'greater good’ end result; compliance works for the enemy.   However, on a personal level, I have my political loyalties to Wookiees, and I would cheer for Bowdaar to kick his ass.

I do like Zenith, and not just because he’s voiced by Troy Baker.   There’s a very gritty, realist element to Zenith. After the hero moves on from a planet, what happens to it?  Great, Balmorra is liberated, but it doesn’t fix everything going on there. Should there be ‘necessary evils’ done in the name of politics and managing power? All of the war, death, and other baggage can screw a person up; I read Zenith as walking PTSD, having lived in a war zone all of his life (he was born 3 years after Jace and Satele reported the fall of Korriban, and Balmorra has been a mess since). Zenith is a great foil to a consular, regardless of alignment.  

...I have a really hard time justifying Tharan’s recruitment so early minus the fact he does fit on Nar Shaddaa better than anyone else.  I know the developers tried to keep all of the Pub and Imp players running on the same sets of planets in each chapter...but if there was ever an exception to be made, it should have been for the consular, because I feel like Tharan is taking up an important space that he really shouldn’t. He’s not actively evil, but he’s not a pleasant or honest person. Super skeevy vibes once Nadia joins the crew too.   I feel like a lot of time is spent on Tharan with not a lot of growth or character development to show for it.  I think I feel that way because there’s this weird ‘affair’ the consular is propositioned with early on -- it felt like filler from the start.  It’s not as well done as the Pierce one-night stand.  Some of his comp convos seem tacked on or “oh no we have to make more content for this guy.” 

Nadia’s acquisition as a companion hinges on certain late stage events, but I feel as if the romance would have felt ‘better’ if her father had let her go to be a padawan as soon as she manifested on Quesh.   Then, she could have grown up a little more before the later events and would have been on more equal footing and more familiar terms with the consular, romance or not. 

In sum, I think the consular’s personal story with the crew has great elements, but I feel like they got put together in the wrong order.  To me, companion order would be:  Qyzen, Felix (set him on Tatooine, the opposite temperature cesspit in the galaxy), Zenith, Nadia (on Quesh), and then... Tharan on Hoth because someone unloaded him there? or Belsavis for crimes related to unethical experiments?  Again, Tharan’s convos seem overstretched; the Vandrayk Generator could have really been done in two or three convos rather than the big thing it was in Chapters 2 and 3. 

[ghostbustershq]

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire - Teaser Trailer Full Breakdown

In the grand tradition of GBHQ trailer breakdowns, here we go with everything that’s fit to digitally print on the recently released teaser trailer for Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire!

The trailer pulls a great switcheroo in the style that has become common-place for large blockbusters like this, which really bums me out that the first experience many (if not all) of us have had with this teaser is seeing it on our phones, tablets, computers, what have you knowing that you’re watching a trailer for a new Ghostbusters movie. Can you imagine being in the theater, the lights darken, all the ads finish, the green band MPAA rating pops up, and then you see this not knowing it’s coming? The first 20 to 30 seconds of this trailer are wonderful and tense moments where you’re waiting for the turn. I have to imagine that circa-1988 Troy would have lost his mind with that unexpected firehouse reveal.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (more on the title a bit later) looks to be a great departure for the series, opening up the world both in terms of visuals and story, and seems to speak to literally all of my preferences and loves in life: Ghostbusters and the cold and snow. In other franchises like Star Wars, the ice planet Hoth continues to be among my favorites. Possibly the Colorado kid in me that I just love the aesthetic of a wintery snowscape. And it’s no secret that I hate warm weather and prefer the cold, give me those fall and winter clothes and coats and wardrobe any day.

But I’m getting ahead of myself, let’s do it, eh?

IT��S A CRUEL SUMMER

The studio logos thud with the opening percussion of Cruel Summer and Lady Liberty is seen with some very orange-hue sunshine. It’s hot. It’s summer. Is this a Michael Bay summer blockbuster? Are we about to see a teen summer film trailer? What’s happening? I do love the fact that Bananarama’s Cruel Summer is used here both because it’s such a staple of the 80’s and immediately transports you into that mindset, but also because writer/director Gil Kenan is such a proud “formerly from Reseda” resident that there’s a little but of his Daniel LaRusso Karate Kid attitude present in the trailer here either consciously or unconsciously. You have to think it’s a little conscious given how close attention a scene of teens playing with a soccer ball on the beach gets.

A radio voice tells us that it’s a scorcher out there with heat alerts and record breaking temps on the horizon for New York and New Jersey. Kids are playing with an open hydrant. The Wonder Wheel is spinning with denizens at Coney Island splashing in the water. Eric Steelberg’s cinematography is on full display here as a slice of life has never looked better and more appealing. This idealized scene certainly won’t last, will it?

Sure enough. The song grinds to a halt, as does the Wonder Wheel. Something is amiss.

From the water, a storm cloud closes in and all the swimmers flee as if they’re leaving Amity in a hurry. Heavy Jaws vibes here, and that you know is intentional.

Spikes emerge from the ground and the Wonder Wheel flash freezes. Then comes this frame which: tell me I’m watching a Ghostbusters movie without telling me that I’m watching a Ghostbusters movie:

Chaos as the flash freeze hits Manhattan and the ice spikes emerge from the ground, we’re fully in disaster movie territory as we see a taxi cab impaled from street level. Fortunately for anyone in that cab, it looks to pierce right through the middle. Whew. The rumbling subsides as we follow the street toward a familiar looking building and Elmer Bernstein’s familiar Ghostbusters twinkle plays in the score.

I love this shot for a variety of reasons. Firstly, the camera move is evocative of that teaser trailer for Afterlife that followed the ground of a farm into the open barn to reveal the Ecto-1. Secondly, what an image, right? The Ghostbusters are surrounded. Claustrophobically closed in by the ice and spikes. The threat is visual. It’s overwhelming.

Hit It

The screen dips to black and we hear an engine rev. Could it be? You’re damn right it could be.

The Ecto-1 peels out, pulling off a full U-Turn at top speed and knocking over some trademark NYC garbage in the process. I’ve seen some criticism mainly on forums that the Ecto-1 in the original two films was slow and lumbering and it’s jarring to them to see the car pulling these high speed maneuvers. And, while I completely agree that the coughing and chunky Ecto of the 80’s was the car’s personality at that point in time, the car has obviously been souped up since the 90’s. Even if it was left to rot in a barn, a gearhead like Ray and someone who loves the car like Winston would have been futzing with that thing every day for decades. People change, so can cars. And the energy and excitement that a full-speed Ecto can provide for a film gives it a dynamic that harkens back to The Real Ghostbusters which we’ve learned from Kumail Nanjiani was a touchstone for this film and the filmmakers.

The Death Chill

The trailer kicks into high gear as we hear Patton Oswalt’s new character explain that for the first time, someone froze to death in New York City in July. Phoebe, in full (snow covered) Ghostbusting gear, stands next to the firepole in a darkened and ominous firehouse. Trevor, Lucky, and James Acaster’s new character stand side-by-side looking at something unseen. A very dapper looking gentlemen is suspended in frozen animation. Callie head turns with concern, also standing in what looks like the garage bay of the firehouse.

An apartment door bursts open having been frozen as Phoebe - standing next to Podcast who is seen for the first time asks, “What is it?” And, after a quick hero shot of Kumail’s new character, the answer comes from the one and only Ray Stantz. It’s the death chill.

As Ray gives us the exposition that you are literally scared to death and the last thing you see is your eyes freezing, the trailer rapid fires amazing and tantalizing imagery including a backdraft puff of smoke sucking back through the crack of a door, a hero shot of Paul Rudd’s returning Gary Grooberson, Winston Zeddemore and Peter Venkman, suited up and standing in front of the Ecto looking at an unseen threat, and one of the New York Public Library’s iconic lions snarling and roaring at what looks to be Ray based on the denim shirt he’s been wearing since 1984. Ha!

I Think We’re Going to Have to Put a Little Overtime Into This One

If ever Ray Parker Jr.’s theme song was going to kick in and we see flashes of the team saving the day, now would be about the time you expect it to happen. But this is, after all, just a teaser trailer and both of those particulars are saved for another occasion. Instead, a quick and violent shot of the firehouse doors being ripped away as we look over the shoulder of a couple of busters (and is someone holding some sort of new handheld piece of gear on the left? Dude. Can’t wait to see what that is.)

The street buckles and tears and threatens both our heroes and the Ecto-1. Trevor, Callie, and Gary are pinned against a wall in the firehouse with the ice spikes closing dangerously close to them. The wall around the containment unit cracks and shakes, threatening to collapse (and does that mean another containment breach could be possible?).

Bathed in ominous red light in a shot that looks straight out of a tense moment from James Cameron’s Aliens, Lucky appears to be in a bit of a pickle. From behind, we see a gnarly looking creature of some sort, perhaps the new big-bad, locking a broken horn into the socket on the side of its head. Oh man, is that creature design cool and we’re not even seeing the full breadth of it, I’m sure.

More flashes. James Acaster’s new character, surrounded by darkness and using a flashlight to illuminate something (and wearing one of the much touted by fans’ parkas, more on that in a second). Gary, Callie and Phoebe all suited up and trying to keep warm (love the turtleneck and gloves look with the flightsuit that Callie is sporting). Patton Oswalt slams an elevator gate as he escorts Ray, Phoebe and Podcast somewhere unknown. And perhaps one of my favorite and very mysterious shots in the trailer, Kumail’s character opening what looks to be a false wall in a pantry closet to reveal a secret room. I love a good secret passageway. One of these days, when I win the lottery, I’m going to have a basement with all sorts of cool secret doors and compartments.

Ray’s explanation of the death chill concludes and we see Lucky, fully suited up, seemingly on the verge of freezing to death and her eyes glaze to a frozen state. Certainly looks perilous for Lucky, could this be the character’s end? Or does someone hopefully come to save the day. Stay tuned until March of next year.

Gary states the obvious, that it sounds like Ray is explaining being literally scared to death. There’s a bit of a call and response here that I think is fully editorial as Gary and Callie are standing in what looks to be the firehouse during the daytime and Patton Oswalt’s character telling us how cool it is looks to be in a darkened room elsewhere. It’s a fun moment that shows both characters’ enthusiasm but a strong possibility these two moments are from two totally different parts of the final film that we’ll see.

Just before the title reveal, Trevor struggles to wield a proton thrower that seems to be amped up to eleven, while sporting one of his notable t-shirt choices - this time an old school YMCA shirt. And then, we see the title for the first time.

I’ll just flat out say it, subtitles to films are difficult. You’re sort of damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. For the same reason parents don’t reveal baby names to the general public before the kid is born, everyone has an opinion on names. A gut reaction. A feeling and opinion that they need to express. Movie titles have come under the same microscope. We’ve heard EVERY tired soap joke about Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, but the title was appropriate to the movie. Clear and to the point.

There’s something to be said for the good ol’ days of sequels where you just flat out said what it was: Back to the Future Part II, Beverly Hills Cop II, Star Trek VI. Also clear and to the point. But as the years progressed, a stigma around numerical titles developed where the higher the number of the film the perception of the quality decreasing became the punchline. Even if it wasn’t the case, adding a numerical value to a film title fell out of fashion and the subtitle became king. It’s also possible that increasingly complex titles started weighing on marketing and advertising and even just public perception of having to know a full title like Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace. You’ve noticed that even the studios have bailed on the episode titles for Star Wars, opting just to ID them by their subtitle: Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, etc.

All of that to say, Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire has the serial qualities of an old school sci-fi film while also immediately selling and stating what the film is. It’s the Ghostbusters sequel where everything freezes. Clear and to the point. And you can tell they were thinking about a play on words with the Empire State somehow but again — didn’t want to over complicate things. Forum and social banter have suggested, “Why not Ghostbusters: Death Chill?” Which yes, is a pretty evocative title but markets the film a little differently. You could see some parents resistant to taking their kids to a movie about the chill of death.

I love the title and think that it absolutely works. It also really frees up future story telling for the Ghostbusters films where they don’t necessarily have to be so wide in scope. They can be hyper focused on a scenario or threat. It takes the franchise in a great direction, in my opinion.

Okay, okay — what about the last two shots of the teaser. Which are outstanding. After the title reveal there are two more glimpses: one of presumably the big bad of the film and the other of our heroes standing atop the firehouse poised to tackle the threat.

Everyone loves the jackets. I do too. I want one of those things for this winter, that’s for sure. But I also love everything happening in the composition and blocking and pose of the characters here. It screams Shandor Rooftop. I love that Callie is wearing the Ecto-Goggles (tough to tell if they’re the Afterlife variant with the Polaroid camera capabilities) and that Phoebe has filled her grandfather’s shoes vigilantly manning the PKE Meter. You can see slight variations on the barrel of the Particle Thrower that Trevor is holding and — THE JACKETS, I MEAN COME ON. TAKE MY MONEY NOW. PLEASE.

If this composition isn’t part of at least one of the theatrical one-sheet posters, I would frankly be surprised. What a shot.

Final Thoughts

What a teaser. It gives us just enough without giving us too much. There are real stakes here. I’m worried about the futures of several of the characters and several of the inanimate objects like the Ecto and the Firehouse. And visually, I love how this film already looks in-step with the original film and Afterlife, but is opening the color palate and scope up a little bit. But also, how crazy is it that after decades of wondering when a third Ghostbusters film would be released, pouring over the glacial pace at the development of the film and every mention and update, to be sitting here dissecting a teaser trailer for a fifth Ghostbusters movie?

[armchairsoapbox]

I’ve been thinking about why I like Rogue One so much even though frankly Empire is supposed to be the GOAT. And I think it comes down to this —

Everyone dies.

Yes, there’s more to it.

Empire is about the heroes of the Rebellion. Leia is still a princess, Han is now a Rebel general, Luke is a literal space wizard and golden boy who spends part of his time training to better use his mystic powers from a hidden sensei. And even though Bad Things happen, it’s such a hopeful story! The Empire found them on Hoth but the ion cannon works and they can evacuate and escape. Han is tortured, but look, he’s literally put on ice instead of killed outright; we know there’ll be a rescue attempt. Luke loses his hand and deals with intense trauma, but look, he’s alive and recovering at the end of the movie on the medical ship. They lived, they’re hopeful, they’ll be back.

Rogue One is about the little people. You don’t know anything about them until the movie, and you’ll never hear anything about them after. They were mostly bit players in life to begin with. An imperial shuttle pilot? A Rebel operative, of the sort to get a “many Bothans died” acknowledgement from the main characters at best? One of the nameless scientists who worked on the Death Star? Who’s going to remember them? No one. They are very small and the Empire is very big, so big that striking back seems impossible, and they spend so much time running, and running is damn near hopeless because the Empire is everywhere, and when they fight back it’s to go on a desperate one-way mission that they barely dare to hope will work but what choice do they have left but that or lie down and die? They can’t run forever, and they’ve lost so much, and please, let it all have meant something

And then they do die, in small and desperate ways, each overrun, gunned down, not even allowed to surrender the way the Rebels on Endor initially were before the Ewoks showed up. There’s no escape for them. Andor and Erso don’t get to fly out on a shuttle the way Luke escaped from the second Death Star with Anakin’s body. In the face of the coming blast wave, they do the only thing they can do: they hug, desperately, clinging to whatever animal comfort they can still have despite the terror, and wait.

They lost everything. But they succeeded. Not even in something big like actually destroying the Death Star - no, that will take Luke, one of the Main Characters, to actually accomplish, and when he does he’ll become a hero even the Emperor will have heard of. These small people are not Luke, not Leia, not Han. Not even Chewie or Lando. Hell, they’re not even Porkins, because their story isn’t big enough to be told in the “actual” movies…

But Luke couldn’t have destroyed the Death Star without them.

No medals for Rogue One. No victory ceremonies. Only desperation, and grief, and loss, and love, and an anonymous grave in the vaporised ruins of Scarif Base. They were small and forgotten, background bit players in the Skywalker saga, literally just a footnote to A New Hope. But this was their story, the story of little people whose loss and pain and rage were no less meaningful than anything Luke and Leia and Han went through, and who had nothing left but each other — and barely that, too, at the end, when it came.

[astrobei]

hi suni astrobei my wife my love my bug <3 top 5 movies of all time?

YVIE NNILKYWAY my light my life my pumpkin pie omg ok so i am the Most indecisive person on the face of this entire planet and my top 5 movies Of All Time will literally change day to day and i watch movies a lot less than i do tv shows but. today my top 5 movies Of All Time include (in no particular order):

1. everything everywhere all at once bc i am the eldest gay daughter to asian immigrant parents and let me tell u . i walked out of that theater with all of my makeup transferred to the inside of my mask and None of it left on my face from the sheer force of my tears. idk it is just so special to me it Gets Me i have never felt so seen and i have never ever cried so hard at a movie before and it’s just one of those movies that permanently changed the chemistry of my brain (+mitski in the soundtrack ! hello !) i need to rewatch it so bad actually

2. ratatouille! idk what to say about this one it’s just so nostalgic and such a comfort movie and i could watch it a billion times for the rest of my life and never get bored! the vibes the ambiance the bittersweet ending idk it just is so 🫂🫂🫂🫂 to me just the embodiment of a hug

3. the empire strikes back is also one of the most comfort movies of all time for me !! and IDK i don’t rewatch star wars as much as i should probably because there are so many movies and i get overwhelmed so i’ve seen the others like once or twice each, maybe a few more for a new hope but esb i’ve watched like. a million times EASY. just everything about it!! the iconic ice planet hoth opening and the hanleia moments and everything about luke in this movie is so top tier. such a classic feel and watching it feels like the equivalent of a warm mug of tea for my brain. just also feeling very star wars today so that might be playing into a bit but this movie is just mwah chefs kiss for Me

4. ok this is definitely on here because i just watched it and have been thinking about it nonstop since but i FINALLY !! watched it (2017) (and also the sequel but whatever .) and i can like Feel the neurons in my brain rearranging themselves i get it i get the hype i understand why my mutuals are going crazy all the time i get why people have not shut up about it since it came out I GET IT OK ! IM ON BOARD I AM A SHELL OF THE PERSON I USED TO BE I AM CHANGED FOREVER i am so. yeah

5. probably the perks of being a wallflower not to sound Annoying but every time i watch it i can Feel my soul getting ripped out of my body and shredded to pieces bit by tiny bit. i literally have watched it so many times i know it by heart i KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AND YET. i cry every damn time. infp charlie kinnies rise up 😔✊ i think this and eeaao are two movies that are on my Actual For Real Favorite Movies Of All Time list and yes i sob like a baby while watching both of them let’s not think about why all my favorite movies are so sad Ok. idk something about the ending of course but also the scene w sam and charlie in the kitchen of the party and the scene with his brother coming home and the fight in the cafeteria OHH idk. it is just so special to me i could watch it every single day forever and i’d melt from the sheer force of my tears eroding away at my body but it will have been worth it!

anyways. when u sent this i immediately forgot any movie id ever seen in my entire life Oops! i’m usually more of a tv show girlie bc i do not usually have the attention span for movies (especially long ones) but this was very fun and now i want to go watch All Of Them again LOVE U SO MUCH YVIE THANK U FOR THE ASK 🫂

[spilledkauffie]

Baking with Ben Solo HCs

Pairing: Ben Solo x Reader T/W: fluff! A/N: same universe as Cold as Hoth — Christmas is a concept (P.s. I know the gif is Adam in a different character, but pls don’t come at me)

The concept — Ben is really new to the concept of having to do it yourself, when you first asked if he wanted to help, he gave a confused look and said "anyone can cook fancy things?" With a laugh, you explained that just because the First Order had trained chefs doesn't mean they're the only ones who know how to cook, a lot of people are really good at it, like a skill. After that he asked why you make cookies around Christmas where you're from. It took you a moment to consider the question of why yourself, but just wound up saying "it's tradition," with a casual shrug.

Helping — Ben 100% wants to help, even if he has no idea how to cook himself. He loves seeing you get out all the ingredients, there are so many colours, in sprinkles and frosting and food colouring, he's shocked he'd never seen them before. // For the most part he just stands there, letting you organise everything that the list requires. He occasionally asks "do you need my help?" To which you answer, "not yet," until there's something on the top shelf that you can't reach. Looking over your shoulder, you see him examining the different kinds of sugars you've set out, "hey, Ben, babe?" He snaps to attention, "yes?" // "Do you think you could reach that for me?" you ask, pointing to the shelf. With a soft smile and a nod, Ben doesn't just get it for you, he wraps his arms around you and lifts you up so you can reach it, making you squeak for a moment at the sudden action, laughing as you grip onto his forearm around you and the way he rests his head against your back.

Mixing bowl — you mostly let Ben add it all in under your instructions, he tries his best to be as accurate and precise as possible. When you've added all the dry ingredients together Ben stirs them all carefully, whilst you add the needed wet items. He's very careful about making sure each one is stirred in equally before you're ready to add the next one, that way it'll be even.

Accidents — Despite how careful he is, a few accidents happen, it's baking, it's messy by nature. However, due to being accustomed to getting scolded for mistakes, even the little ones Ben's not very used to innocent mistakes that absolutely no harm. So when, inevitable, an accident, such as adding too much flour too quickly and it going all over the counter and the two fo you happens, Ben's worried more than need be. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, that's my fault," he quickly says, pausing everything to try and amend the situation keeping his head down anticipating a scolding, "if I ruined them, if they're ruined-" You touch his hand, "it's okay," you dip to meet his gaze, "it's perfectly okay, no harm done at all, it's all good" you smile softly. "They're not going be ruined?" He asks quietly. "Not at all," you shake your head, "in fact they might even be more perfect now, maybe you added the perfect amount that will now be even better than the original," you add, nodding confidently. Seeing a smile pull at the corner of his lips, you push on to your tip toes to touch your nose against his.

Shapes & sizes — bringing out the cookie cutters and the rolling pin is one of the most fun parts of making cookies. Ben’s definitely fascinated by all the little shapes they cookies can be cut into, he fancies the candy cane and the snow man. But first you have to show him how to knead the dough, which is super cute because he’s still worried he’s going to mess it up and when you literally grabbed a chunk of dough from the bigger section he dropped his jaw, making you laugh, “did you just kill it?” He teases, “the hard work I did to make that a perfectly round blob.” Nudging him in the side, you tell him to do the same, helping him smoosh it out into a fairly even little circle. "Now what?" he asks. "You take the cookie cutter," you pick it up, placing it in his hands, "and smoosh it carefully down," you push against the top of his hands to make sure it goes all the way through, before you help remove the excess dough, leaving only the shape left. He's totally enamoured by the outcome and has so much fun trying out all the differnt shapes.

Frosting — while the cookies bake, the two of you mix and make all different colours of homemade frosting, with Ben swiping more than one taste of the frosting while you wait for the cookies. He likes the blue best, even though you tell him that they're all the same flavour just with different dyes. No matter though, he favours the blue. // While you're mixing another colour, you suddenly feel a cold bit of frosting swiped across your cheek. “What was that for-“ you start playfully, but Ben quickly gives you the answer by stooping to kiss it off your cheek. Staring up at him with your jaw slightly dropped, “you had something,” Ben shrugs, point to his cheek. Smirking to yourself you dab some on your finger and tap it on his jawline, swiftly stealing a kiss. “You had something,” you respond. Nodding at your wit, Ben scoops some more on his thumb and swipes it across your bottom lip, next thing you know, he’s dipping to kiss you on the mouth.

Decorating & Dessert — decorating goes pretty smoothly, but what's best is the additional toppings. You bring out chocolate chips, sprinkles, and bits of candies. "There's even more?" Ben asks, looking over what you brought out. After decorating to your hearts delight, it's time for a taste test, because Christmas cookies always taste best fresh out of the oven. Of course, while decorating there were a few that broke and you explained how it's practically a rule that you have to eat the part that broke off if it can't be reattached with frosting. But a whole frosted cookie just tastes best. Ben's the first one to give it a go and he's now found his new favourite tradition. // From then on you make all kinds of cookies together, for any and all special occasions, but his favourite remains when you make them around Christmastime together.

[no-droids]

Ch 17 was so, so, so good (thank you!!) 🥺 i am still processing. ((Edit: this turned into an essay so i Am Very Sorry in advance, there is a tldr at the end though))

First of all. We get to see Din going through it the same way sweet girl was a couple chapters ago and I love it! She’s been so clear from the start that she doesn’t want to run away from him and now Din’s getting to the point where he doesn’t want to chase her anymore because he just wants her to be physically there with him again. The second night of comms while she’s camped out at the orphanage?? “I thought this was going to be alright, but I hate it.” ??????????? i am a Puddle of Emotions no one look at me 😭

And then the way he’s so unsure about whether she hasnt begun to reconsider wanting to keep up with his bounty-hunter life now that she’s finally gotten a break if being forced to outrun a mandalorian can be really even be called a break for the first time in a year?? And he can SEE all the places she’s stopped to talk to people on this planet (his comment about the number of times the blond guy turned around to talk to her in the line? 🥺.) Din knows she’s enjoying these small encounters with people, getting to interact with a new planet and learn new things as she’s making her way through each place, and since they’re only talking at night he gets to think about it literally all day long as he follows her trail and tries to figure out what her plan is. This is truly an exercise in Din thinking nonstop about sweet girl (which ofc he does already, but like, thinking critically about what she thinks/wants/does/needs and why) and I feel like that’s causing him to slowly start to second guess himself in terms of where he would put himself on sweet girl’s list of priorities. And I wonder how much of this he’s actually considering for the first time? because it’s always him who leaves and comes back when he gets jobs — this is the first time that sweet girl has left him instead of the other way around. Sweet girl has had tons of time to think about these things, whereas Din hasn’t really had to... because it’s not the one who leaves who feels the absence most, it’s the one who’s left behind (even if just temporarily).

I can just picture Din’s increasing doubts as the chase keeps going, whether he’s worth putting up with his lifestyle and whether sweet girl wouldn’t rather have a life like the people he sees in the footprints around hers? because he knows her, knows she likes soft beds and meeting people and fresh fruit and beautiful scenery, which are all things that living on the razor crest can’t always provide except for the last one bc Din Djarin IS beautiful scenery let’s be clear and just. the ANGST. I cannot. ( a n d meanwhile sweet girl is having a breakdown thinking he wants to STOP looking and LEAVE her? As if)

So when she shuts down his tentative doubts about it on the second night she’s at the orphanage and Din starts asking questions about favorite animals and flowers and things?? 🥺🥺🥺🥺 I lost it. Din is mirroring the love and care he receives from sweet girl (and learning to tap into those emotions as he does) and I am just in awe of both his character development from ch 1 to here and your ability to show that gradual shift in your writing.

Tl;dr thank you very much for this latest chapter! I will continue to be a soft emotional little puddle for the foreseeable future, or at least until I can figure out to scrape myself off the floor and function like a human being who has not just read rough day ch 17 and promptly dissolved as a direct result🌻

okay

okay first of all ma’am/sir/friend, please do not put tl;dr’s on a fucking MASTERFUL DISSECTION LIKE THAT like I genuinely hope people read every word of what you have written because you’re so spot on about everything that I was almost taken aback JEJFJJDJFJF

I would like to say, and I need to do this in list form because you have presented so many beautiful points that I’d like to address them one by one,

1.) Din Djarin is used to being alone. Full stop. Like even with sweet girl helping out with the baby and agreeing to stay on the ship while he goes and grabs quarry, he’s gone for weeks sometimes. He is used to being by himself, to fending for himself, protecting himself, patching himself up, EVERYTHING by himself. He is the most independent self-sufficient driven bounty hunter Karga has on the payroll and he’s reliable, which is why Karga would give him four pucks at a time. Giving anyone else four pucks would mean that if they happened to die during their hunts, then more than one puck would be lost and that’s money down the drain. Din doesn’t die, he always comes back with all four bodies and he’s fucking quick about it. Him telling sweet girl “I thought this was gonna be alright” is apt, because he’s been able to exist without her and do good work while he knows she’s safe on the Crest. In fact, the only time he EVER didn’t do good work is when a) she was attacked on the Crest on Corellia, or b) when he desperately wanted to get back to her as quick as possible and he pushed himself too hard and put himself in danger (aka frozen on Hoth scene). And actually c) when he stole Grogu back from the empire and had Karga and the guild on his ass about it. Those were the only times Din had trouble doing his job. The only times he stopped looking and gave up. “I thought this was going to be alright, but I hate it” means that YES ABSOLUTELY DIN DJARIN DOES NOT LIKE STAYING PUT WHILE SHE LEAVES, even though he’s okay with going out and doing his job when she stays. Even though he’s still hunting, it’s like the roles have been reversed. She’s understanding his side, and he’s understanding her side. It’s been 4 days and he hates it, so imagine weeks or months of that. Not being able to move or chase after her either, just hanging out on the crest with Grogu and waiting to see if she’ll be able to make it back. Which

2.) makes it hurt just a lil more in that wonderful delicious angsty way when he actually asks if she wants this life. On Naboo, he didn’t know where she went or where the kid was—he didn’t know if they were in danger, if she was safe. He said he’d rip the galaxy apart to find her if she ever disappeared like that again. But... she’d be safe on Sanctuary II. This is different, and just like you said, he’s had multiple days where all he did was try to think like her. Get in her head, predict her. Understand her more than he’s ever attempted to do before, in a NECESSARY capacity, like he would a bounty he’s hunting. Din Djarin is used to being alone. He’s used to being silent and that’s how connections are severed before they can even be established. His only practice at empathy was through his job, a job that he is very very good at, but it was never enough to get him to stop looking. He would never be able to empathize enough to ask if the bounty wanted him to stop looking for them. Even with the baby, he turned him in at first and then let the guilt eat him alive before going back to save him. So, if you couple that with his true connection to sweet girl, the natural empathy he has for her and the kid (him immediately following her after he accidentally snapped at her on the Crest and apologizing) and Din is now TRULY beginning to understand her on a level he’s never experienced with another person

3.) BUT!!! Even though he “needed to ask” (meaning he understood enough to know that asking the question was necessary) he started out the entire conversation by admitting he doesn’t think he could do it. Before ever telling her what specifically he doesn’t think he could do, he already knows this about himself and says it flat out. I don’t think I could. Even if you asked me to, even if you said you’d be happier if I did, even if you told me right now that it’s what you wanted, I don’t think I could ever stop looking. And a lot of the turmoil he experiences is because of that. I make you sleep on the floor. I teach you to fight when you just want to look at waterfalls. I do all these things that you’d never willingly do yourself, and I’m a bad person BECAUSE I still want you to always be here with me in spite of all that.

4.) Meanwhile sweet girl just has no fucking clue all this is happening and it seems to come out of nowhere, all she knows is that he’s been in the city when he should’ve caught up to her days ago. She’s out experiencing things and meeting new people and yet she always comes back to Din and the baby and how much they should be here with her. She tries to come up with clever ways to outthink him but she also offers to give her coordinates to him practically every single night. Her wanting to be with him so bad but trying to hold out (“ask me again tomorrow”) while Din is also wanting to be with her so bad and also trying to hold out (“find her again tomorrow”) 🥺

So yeah basically in conclusion I love them together and they’re so different but they make each other somehow both stronger and softer in so many ways and yeah u mighta heard of DD/LG u kinky fucks but lemme present to u DD/SG

[vagrantblvrd]

In the vein of those Din and Luke meet on Tatooine before they live the Star Wars?

I propose that Din is the ~sweetheart from back home story Luke tells people if they ask about that kind of thing, you know?

Nineteen year-old Luke who gets tossed into the deep end whe he joins the Rebellion, right?

Farm boy from Tatooine in a starfighter squadron filled with people like Wedge and Janson.

And all the hurry up and wait that happens, and a card game that springs up between missions. Some late night somewhere - Hoth, maybe - and it was just a little too much to toss and turn all night in the bunks, maybe tale a stroll through base. Stop by the hangar because someone’s always there - weather lie this you can bet someone’s fixing something or adapting it to make it work in these conditons, and anyway, anyway.

Hell of a lot better than being stuck with your own thoughts you know backwards and front.

So anyway, one of those kind of card games, you know? The ones where people don’t ask why you look so damn tired or comment on how jumpy you are because they’ve all been there. (It’s a war, everyone loses sleep, everyone has nightmares. Everyone’s lost someone, or worry about losing someone and anyway. They get it.)

Janson’s just finished some story about a girl he knew from somewhere, before he joined the Rebellion and the trouble they both go up to and the fond memories he has due to all that.

Swings over to Wedge who sighs and gives Janson this look because he just won’t stop about it, and Luke only half hears the story because he catches a glimpse of Han stomping by, scowl on his face the way he gets sometimes.

(Another fight with Leia, probably, that Luke’s at that stage of things where the thought doesn’t sting so much anymore, thinks he actually likes this better anyway, because he’s seen the way Han looks at her and anyway.)

Luke goes over to where Han’s stomping around the Falcon, muttering and swearing and Chewie’s who knows where, maybe that still in one of the storage levels helping people who are totally not involved with it refine the end product or some such, Luke wouldn’t know.

Takes a while for Han to notice he’s there and when he does Luke almost rolls his eyes at the whole...Drama bit he does. Trying to get Luke on his side, paint himself as the innocent in the scenario - which, if he was? He wouldn’t be trying nearly this hard to convince Luke, so.

Luke lets him vent for a bit and when Han runs out of steam, starts to look a little lost like he has no idea how the hell whatever argument he and Leia had got so out of hand he stormed off the way he did -

“You up for a game of sabacc?”

Because Han tells anyone who’ll listen just how good at it he is, no one better for parsecs around, and anyway.

Better that that be left alone with his thoughts, right?

So Luke brings Han into the game, and Wedge and Janson give Luke this look because the whole Drama between him, Han, and Leia is the best entertainment they’ve had in a long, long time, and anyway.

“You got one?” Wedge asks, looking at Luke over his cards, like an absolute bastard, because of course that catches Han’s interest.

“Got what?”

Luke is like, oh, no, but Wedge is smirking at him and Janson’s no better and then there’s Han who is worse than all of them put together.

“Sweetheart from back home,” Wedge says,and he and Han share this look - it has to be a Corellian thing - and Luke.

“...I wouldn’t say he’s my sweetheart,” Luke says, and the way his face feels he has to be blushing. “But, uh. There was someone.”

And, okay.

He’s not so clueless  he doesn’t know the reputation Mandalorians have with most people, has heard Han talking about this one in particular that pops up in his life every so often.

Mostly though, it’s kind of.

He just doesn’t want other people having this piece of his life, you know? Things are weird enough after Yavin and the Death Star and the Rebellion and Luke’s role in all that and he didn’t ask for any of that, could do without it, but he’s just the guy they ask to smile and post of pictures and...yeah.

SO.

He tells them this story about that time he was in Mos Eisley, right? He had this part-time job working in a hangar for someone named Peli when the farm wasn’t doing well.

Han looks at Luke as he mentions that, this slow realization on his face because look, okay, look.

Han’s met some nice girls - and maybe boys, who knows - like that, ones he had a good time with before moving on and Luke is steadfastly not looking at anyone at the table. (Cargo crate with an old tarp thrown over it to make it just that much more classy and all.)

Focused real intent on his cards and Han is both impressed and a little horrified because one, he never would have expected something like that from Luke - look at the kid, for crying out loud! - and two? That’s Luke. Like a kid brother and Han knows the kind of guys (and girls) who meet sweet kids like him in places like that - look at Han!

Anyway, Han keeps his mouth shut and lets Luke tell his story. Glances at Wedge and the others who all look the same mix of impressed and horrified because Luke, and almost gives himself away by laughing because yeah, the dumb kid gets to people like that, doesn’t he.

Luke, though He knows his friends, looks up and give them looks. “It wasn’t like that,” he says, because most of the time it really wasn’t like that.

He met a lot of interesting people back then, that’s all.

So anyway, back to Luke’s story about this guy he met working for Peli.

Drifter, you know? Not the chatty sort, but not rude about it. Just. Not much to say to anyone, which was fine Luke made up for it himself just fine.

Anyway.

This guy comes in with his ship all chewed up - literally, Luke finds out later when he pries a tooth jammed into one of the landing struts when the guy mentioned it didn’t fully retract - and this tired sigh.

Peli set Luke on the guy’s ship, told him that since he didn’t want droids near the damn thing he’d trust her to know what her people could do and that Luke would be just fine fixing his ship, so, you know.

That was a thing to watch.

And then Luke gets to work, has to call home to let them know he won’t be back that night because he’s got a big job in the works and the guy needs it done ASAP and there’s a couch in Peli’s office she lets him sleep on when stuff like this happens.

He’s still working when the guy gets back from...doing whatever it is he was doing, Luke knows better to ask, and Luke is like.

He knows ships, you know? Knows machines, a hell of a lot better than people sometimes, and they don’t make fun of him, don’t stick him with dumb nicknames.

So he’s working on the guy’s ship, maybe talking to it to, fond little pats when he’s done with a repair or comes across some old repair job someone did that’s coming apart. And it’s not like anyone told him not to take care of that while he’s there and all, you know?

Peli said get his ship fixed, and maybe she meant the newer stuff, but Luke is there and it’ll just take a second and really, the ship’s old, been through a lot. Fixing this one little thing with all the rest won’t hurt anyone and it’ll keep her flying a little longer, and just. No harm to it.

And then the guy is just kind of there?

Watching Luke being a weird guy, talking to his ship like it’s a person, finding small things wrong with it that haven’t set up an alarm anywhere yet, but Luke just knows. Like a splinter under your skin you don’t realize is there just yet but something’s not right, that kind of deal.

Gives Luke this look, right, but Luke shrugs and spins some nonsense about older ships like his and these common issues they share as part of the manufacturing process and might as well take care of it now before it becomes a problem, right? No extra charge, something on the house since the repairs that were asked for are so extensive.

Anyway.

Luke ends up chattering a bit when he realizes the guy doesn’t mind? Doesn’t always answer Luke but he doesn’t tell him to shut up or pull a blaster to intimidate him the way some of them do, and anyway.

Luke finishes the repairs around dawn, dead on his feet and wishes him luck before he goes off to catch some sleep on Peli’s couch before he heads home to the farm.

Doesn’t think much about the whole thing, but then a few months later the same ship ends up in Peli’s hangar. In better shape this time, just needs a once-over, make sure everything’s running fine and fuel.

And the guy, okay.

Gives Luke this little nod on his way off to do whatever, doesn’t stop to ask Peli if she’s sure Luke’s good at his job, and he gets this. Nothing warm and squishy, he barely knows the guy, but it’s a pleased feeling knowing that at the very least he trusts Luke’s work.

Luke’s done by the time the guy gets back, but it’s one of those days where he’s not keen on getting back to the farm - Uncle Owen asked him to stay behind a year to help out, just a little longer and he’s.

Upset at being left behind by the others, by being stuck on Tatooine for another year. Needs time to cool down before he says something he knows he’ll regret, and Peli’s good enough not to pry.

They end up playing sabacc, Peli cackling as she cheats her way to victory - Luke pauses his story to give the others this 0:D smile when he tells them she’s the one who taught him how to cheat at sabacc and not get caught at it, but anyway, they want to hear the rest of his story, right?

Peli gets a call from a supplier, something about a parts dleivery being delayed - Imperial interference or some such - and she leaves to go take care of it, annoyed because she was about to clean Luke out and leave him destitute when it comes to nuts and bolts, and then it’s Luke and the guy.

Who’s giving him this look right - well, Luke assumes, because helmet but he’s not telling Han and the others that bit, and anyway.

It’s still kind of early as these things go and Luke’s feeling a little more reckless than usual, and invites the guy for a hand or two if he doesn’t have anything else to do.

He’s not really expecting the guy to say yes, but he does and it’s not so bad, really? Guy must be in a good mood because he answers more of Luke’s questions or offers tidbits about himself without being asked. Doesn’t even glare at the pit droids when they creep a little closer.

Little guys love Luke, you know, but this guy obviously doesn’t like droids so they usual stay clear, but this this time their curiosity gets the better of them.

So they play a couple of hands of sabacc,and the guy knows, okay, clearly, obviously knows Luke is cheating the whole time. Hell, Luke’s not even trying all that hard to hide it, but he doesn’t say anything about it.

Gives Luke a look a few times, but they keep playing and they each win a hand.

Luke’s in a better mood by the time they decide that’s enough for the day, offers to buy the guy dinner, even.

(But becuase Din, and helmet, that’s a little awkward, y’know?)

Gets a no, because the guy has rations or whatever in his ship and Luke figures hey, okay, no problem and figures he’s good to go home now. Apologize to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru and such because he does get it, just.

Yeah.

He doesn’t see the guy around for a few more months, and when he does -

“You need to see a doctor.”

Because the blood. So much blood?

Also a vibroknife, and it’s just.

Messy.

But the guy is like no, no doctor and Luke is like you are going to die if you don’t see one but still the no doctor thing, and Luke drags him to this place he knows. Sketchy part of Mos Eisley - sketchy-er part-  and knocks on a door.

This lady he knows, used to be a doctor way before. Used to be with the Galactic Navy, served on a Venator-class star destroyer before things changed, she says.

Anyway, she has a soft spot for Luke after he helped haggle a shopkeeper down on some supplies she was trying to buy this one time.

(Patched him up once or twice too, accident at the hangar or taking the wrong shortcut, that kind of thing. Didn’t want to worry his family, and anyway, Mos Eisley, right? Things happen.)

She’s surprised to see him this late at night - or not, because, again, Mos Eisley - and freezes when she sees who he has with him.

It occurs to Luke, when he sees the look on her face that hey, maybe there’s a reason someone like her is living in a bad part of Mos Eisley, and maybe people like this guy who’s been bleeding on Luke for the last however long might be one of them, but.

She was a doctor and that meant somthing once upon a time, and also the look on Luke’s face, the way he swears nothing will happen to her even though they both kind of know there’s no way he could keep that promise if his...friend is determined, but anyway.

Doesn’t matter all that much since the guy passed out before Luke got to her place, and he stays under the whole time they’re working on him.

Luke helps her patch the guy up, another pair of steady hands and they manage to save his life, which is great!

Luke apologizes for not thinking when he went to her place, but the blood and worry and she was the only one he could think of, and anyway.

She tells him not to worry about it, someone would have found her sooner or later anyway, and hey, really, don’t worry about it.

Still, better safe than sorry and Luke gets the guy back to the hangar before he wakes up. Gets him into the bunk on his ship and then, because he’s covered in the guy’s blood and it’s late as hell, decides to call home to let them know he’s got another long night - last minute job that came in and he’ll be back to help with the farm in teh morning.

And then!

Peli’s out of town, off-planet, business or whatever, and Luke’s the only one at the hangar and wakes up to the guy standing over him.

No blaster in his hand but Luke gets the feeling he doesn’t need one, and anyway.

“I said no doctors.”

Which, okay.

Luke recognizes he’s in a dangerous situation, but also?

It’s early as hell, and he didn’t get a lot of sleep the night before what with saving the guy’s life and Luke’s pretty sure he didn’t get all of his blood out from under his nails.

“They’re not anymore,” he says, and puts his arm over his eyes to block out the light. Figures if the guy’s going not going to kill him for saving his life he might as well get more sleep.

He hear this little huff, annoyance? Something, but he’s tired and falls asleep before he can figure it out.

(And the part Luke doesn’t tell Han and the others who are all just. Staring at Luke because what the actual hell, Skywalker, they thought you were some dumb kid living on a moisture farm, not...whatever the hell this story is turning out to be, is that he tells the guy - they didn’t take his helmet off, that no one saw his face.)

Anyway, Luke doesn’t get murdered on Peli’s office couch, but he does get more sleep. When he wakes up the guy and his ship are gone, but one of the pit droids gives Luke a little stack of credits. Enough to cover the medical supplies Luke’s not-doctor friend used on him, and figures it’s as close to a thanks as he’s likely to get.

In present day hangar on Hoth everyone is still staring at Luke who is like what, none of you guys had experiences like that growing up where some guy bled all over you and then kind of threatened to kill you for helping him? Weird.

Han makes a mental note to have a talk with Leia - when she’s talking to Han again -  about their idiot friend who is either the luckiest bastard in the galaxy or...hell if Han knows, but someone needs to keep an eye on the kid, okay?

But back to pre-Star Wars Luke and his ~sweetheart story.

He doesn’t see the guy again for a while, but this time he does the guy comes over to where Luke’s working on his speeder at the back of Peli’s hangar. It’s been acting up and he has this deal with her where she lets him use the hangar tools and equipment if he pays for any supplies he uses in the process. 

Business has been slow, Imperial activity in the area for some reason and scaring their usual customers away for the time being, and anyway.

Nothing else to work on, so tinkering with the speeder when a shadow falls over him and he looks up to see the guy watching him.

Awkward about it too, and Luke watches him totally not fidgeting before he rolls his eyes and flaps a hand to the toolbox just out of reach.

“Hand me the hydrospanner, would you?”

He’s half expecting the guy to walk off in a huff, but is pleasantly surprised when he sets the hydrospanner in Luke’s waiting hand.

Luke thanks him and goes back to work, and realizes after a bit that the guy is still standing there??? Seems less awkard now, though, and Luke slides out from under the speeper - has it up on a lift or the whatnot - and looks at the guy.

Tells him it’s nice to see him, especially when he’s not bleeding - “Wait, you aren’t bleeding, right?” HArd to tell with the armor and such - which makes the guy sigh.

Luke grins, and the guy sits on one of the crates nearby as Luke goes back to fixing the speeder. Occasionally Luke will ask for a tool and the guy will hand it to him.

Luke chats with him while he’s working, gets some answers back and it’s just.

A nice time, you know?

And then when he’s done and the speeder is back up and running, well. Luke needs to take it for a test drive, little spin, and if the guy’s not doing anything it might be nice to have some company???

Wedge and the others are like OH? GOING FOR A DRIVE WITH YOUR SWEETHEART? TELL US MORE.

But, like. Nothing happens, okay? They go for that drive, Luke shows off a little because he was a dumb - dumber - kid back then and anyway, anyway.

It’s not until they’re back in Mos Eisley and Luke drops the guy off at his ship, parked in a hangar down the way, that anything happens, you know?

The suns are going down and it’s pretty out, hardly anyone on the street with them and, almost enough to make them forget about being in Mos Eisley.

Luke’s leaning against the speeder, right, and the guy’s watching Luke watch him, and he cocks his head a certain way and Luke follows him into the hangar and nothing happens, okay, really.

Just some talking, the guy getting ready to leave in the morning and some stuff he ordered got dropped off. Luke helps him load his ship, and when they’re done it’s starting to get dark out, and Luke really should head home -

But the guy stops him, and on his arm and some of that awkwardness is back, and Luke is just.

Doesn’t know what to expect, because usually this is where a kiss might happen, but - the armor the others don’t know about because shhhh, no talk of Mandalorians when Han’s around -

Luke is just standing there, not sure what to do, and then the guy leans down, presses his forehead against Luke’s and says, “Din,”

Luke is like !!! because this is clearly something important, something big, and he doesn’t want to ruin the moment, mess things up. Is about to ask, but the guy beats him to it.

“My name,” he says, like this is something he hasn’t told many people. “Din.”

No last name, but Luke figures even this much is a big, big deal, especially since they don’t even really know one another, and anyway, it doesn’t matter, so.

They stay like that a little longer - Luke doesn’t know what they’re doing, this thing with Din, but it’s nice and he likes it - and then one of the hangar mechanics comes stumbling in, drunk as hell and Luke and Din break apart, all awkward and flustered.

Luke says he has to get home, Din says he should get some sleep since he’s leaving early the next morning, and anyway, anyway, that’s Luke’s sweetheart from home story.

Because, you know, because.

Uncle Owen got a couple of droids the day after that and Luke’s life stopped being his for a long, long time.

Han and Wedge and the others look at Luke because what even was that story? Everyone else had the schoolyard crushes and the like. Luke gets the mysterious drifter who almost died, but then Luke saved him by taking him to a former doctor who was on the run and hiding out in Mos Eisley and almost got murderized for it -

“Guys, he wasn’t going to kill me,” Luke says, which while true is nowhere near the point, Skywalker, just shut up for a second, okay?

- and then he gets the scenic drive and romantic kiss goodbye to someone he never sees again???

(They all agree not to mention the part where Luke’s family was murdered and the whatnot because yikes, but still. What was that story?)

Luke is just, “Tatooine,” which is as good an explanation as anything else he could have given them really.

AND THEN.

Fast forward a few years to this distress call through the Force fro a tiny green gremlin kid that Luke answers.

Has to go through a platoon of Dark Troopers to do it, and when he does -

He doesn’t expect Din to remember him, not really, because what’s one dumb kid on some terrible desert planet to someone like him who probably stopped on a hundred other planets with other dumb kids like Luke around, so.

Still, knowing it’s Din and seeing what he’s willing to do for Grogu - what he has done, when Grogu shares his memories of his adventures with Din and what Din tells him himself - makes it easier to invite him to come with Luke and Grogu.

(Always the plan to do so because he doesn’t want to repeat the mistakes of the old Jedi order, but it being Din is so much better.)

Go back to Yavin or wherever he’s starting his school and Din is all awkward around Luke?

At first he thinks Din does remember him, and overall awkwardness of their past and present and anyway, he’s obviously not going to say anything and doesn’t want to? So just move on and such.

Only thing is, with Din living there with Luke and Grogu, Luke gets the chance to get to know him better? And Din is obiously trying, for Grogu’s sake, probably, Luke doesn’t know.

It’s still Din, though, awkward and a little stilted and just.

Adorable, really. Sweet about it.

Nothing really happens other than the awkwardness going away after a while, Din looking a little more comfortable around Luke and such.

And then the speeder they use to get to the small town a few miles away for food and supplies and the whatnot breaks down and Luke sets about fixing it, back of the little workshop area he as set up and it takes him a while to realize Din came out to see what he was doing, and then just never left?

Sitting there on some cargo crates, Grogu dozing in his arms because it’s early yet, but when Luke glances over at them Din shrugs, Smile in his voice as he tells Luke that Grogu woke up when Din was getting ready and refused to be left behind, and now here they are.

Luke snorts, and looks around for the hyrdospanner -

- and Din puts in his hand.

And where it should be a nice, normal little gesture, Din has to go and make it all meaningful, you know?

Hands Luke the hydrospanner, but their hands brush, touch lingering and Din is looking at him.

It’s been years, but Luke still remembers how to read Din’s body language, the tilt of his head, way he holds himself. Subtle things, an anyway.

Din watches Luke work, and Grogu wakes up somewhere in there taking over Din’s job of handing Luke tools and the whatnot, but that’s fine with Din because now he gets to watch the two of them, right?

Luke explaining what he’s doing, what’s wrong with the speeder and what he’s doing to fix it and such. Grogu follows maybe half of what he says, not all that interested, but he’s thrilled at the chance to help and that’s the important part.

And then when he’s done and the speeder is back up and running, well. Luke needs to take it for a test drive, little spin, and if Din’s not doing anything it might be nice to have some company???

(Not that Luke has called him by his name or anything since they met again on Gideon’s ship, didn’t think Din remembered him or that he was welcome to use it, and anyway, Yes)

There’s only the one sun this time, and it’s jungle rather than desert, but Luke still knows a nice little road they can take. Scenic, lovely, and Din gives him another one of those looks because he remembers this, okay.

Luke grins, because this is...it’s nice, really, and then Grogu pops up, super delighted because Luke is still kind of terrifying behind the wheel of a vehicle. Incredible driver/pilot and all? But still terrifying, because of those things.

They get back to the school, Luke pulling up in front of the school. Leans against the speeder watching Din and Grogu get out, Grogu thrilled out of his little mind because they went so fast and it was amazing and they watch as Grogu goes inside still chattering to himself becuase so cool.

Din looks at Luke, who’s still leaning against the speeder, soft little smile on his face because it’s been a good day.

And then Din cocks his head in a certain way and Luke follows him inside, because what else is he supposed to do?

They can hear Grogu somewhere in the little apartment Din shares with him, happy as anything and entertaining himself and anyway.

“Hey, hi,” Luke says, like an idiot, but that’s fine, it’s great.

Din’s kind of an idiot too, it works for them.

There’s some talking, and Grogu wanders in, clearly hungry and no choice but to make dinner and so on. Luke and Din moving around one another comfortably, don’t really think too much of it, and Grogu helps where he can, also snags little bits of food here and there and is all 0:D? when they shoot him looks, because clearly he’s done nothing wrong his whole life.

Grogu starts nodding off after dinner, and Luke cleans up while Din puts him to sleep, and then it’s finally Din’s turn to do the leaning.

Leans on the counter watching Luke who gives Din a look, like what are you doing, there are dishes to put away -

And then Din stops the whole leaning thing, at least for now, because he’s doing the thing where he presses his forehead against Luke’s, and it’s -

Luke knows what this is now, what it means to Mandalorians, to Din.

And if he still didn’t, there’s no misunderstanding the emotion in the way Din says Luke’s name, like hey, hello, and i’ve missed you so much, and there you are, i found you.

Which should be strange, right, because they barely even knew each other back then, but Luke says the same things to Din when he says his name, when Din hears Luke say his name for the first time, and anyway.

Luke’s not some dumb kid anymore (still dumb, according to Leia and Han and everyone else in Luke’s life, just not a kid), and Din’s not the same man he used to be.

And anyway, this is better isn’t it? All that time to find out who they were, live a lifetime of experiences with everything the galaxy threw at them only to meet once another again afterward? Learn who they’ve become since Tatooine, settled in their skins and anyway.

Not bad for a second date.

Han and Wedge absolutely lose their shit when they meet Din and realize why Luke’s story about his sweetheart from home was a little weird in places? Spots where Luke had to talk around the armor and fact Din’s Mandalorian and just.

Also the bit where Luke was all casual about the almost being murderized for saving Din’s life

“Guys, he wasn’t going to kill me, how many times do I have to tell you that?”

And Din is like. “...what? You thought I was going to kill you?”

“No!”

“Well we did!”

And anyway.

Yeah.

Leia, who has also heard Luke’s sweetheart from home story - it took them a long time to find Han after Cloud City, and there were nights where none of them could sleep and nightmares were plentiful and anyway, she’s heard the story - takes one look at Din and Luke and how happy her idiot of a brother is, and is just.

Finally, someone who makes her brother look like that.

(Happy. Din makes Luke happy.)

[jonesyjonesyjonesy]

heyyy, this is my first ask ever on this page so I'm not exactly sure how to start this, so ill just get right to it from one jonesy/zeppelin stan to another.

Robert apparently wrote Carouselambra about him being frustrated with Jonesy and Jimmy not being there for him after his son karac passed away,,, the song itself is great inho, it's my favorite off of ittod besides in the evening. The situation was tragic enough on it own, but it also put a huge strain on the relationships between the band members, it seems like. I can't pretend I know a whole lot about that part of their history in particular, just wanted to hear your take on it.

Hello my dear!! Welcome to my asks! I hope it is a cozy and pleasant experience. You are always welcome, no matter how inane, as I myself am the queen of inanity (I'm claiming it here and now folks).

^^ look at these boys in their 30s (36, 34, and almost 32 respectively, dear god)

In Through the Out Door is generally pretty fascinating. 'Carouselambra' in and of itself I think is one of those tracks that if it had been deeper into the canon (as if Zep had been able to make more albums), it would have been openly considered a masterpiece. That's actually how I feel about the whole album, but...instead, it causes consternation.

The track itself is one of my favorites as well. It's like Space Jam but everyone's on drugs and having a midlife crisis and WOW it's good. The actual inspiration for the track, as you say, I think was a combination of the highs and lows of Zeppelin and this includes Karac's death and the aftermath. 'Carouselambra' was originally called 'The Epic' -- I like to imagine the epic poetry it was being likened too and if epic poetry was still written and consumed the way we consume Homer and Virgil, that Zeppelin would be a perfect candidate. 'Tales of Brave Ulysses' could never.

The general consensus is that 'The Epic' was renamed 'Carouselambra' because that's what being in Zeppelin was like. Around and around on this gaudy mechanical and in the process these tragic things were happening and you only got fast glances at them or missed out on important things. And in the case of Karac, I'm sure Robert was grappling with the fact he just wasn't around (and I believe he's said as much).

This culminating with Jonesy and Jimmle not being at the funeral, which at the time, Robert had apparently said to Richard Cole, “Maybe they don’t have as much respect for me as I do for them. Maybe they’re not the friends I thought they were.”

Which is understandable! I mean, anyone that close to you dying, let alone a child. You would want your friends there (...if Robert considered Jonesy a "friend" to me is debatable considering his supposed tongue-in-cheek offer to Lita Ford to be the bassist for Zep in '77, but I'm just a bitter Jonesy stan (and I have plenty of theories and ideas about the Jones/Plant dynamic)). From what I've read, Jonesy was on family holiday, I imagine continuing with Maureen and the girls in the RV they rented for the second leg of the '77 tour -- he stole away after the Oakland debacle and drove it up to Seattle (this is from a glancing in Mick Wall's When Giants Walked the Earth, which I'm currently reading). Can that man get any more precious? And Jimmy was...Jimmy, heroin and all, although he's been quoted saying "We were all mates. We had to give the man some space.”

Potentially illustrating this, Robert commented on this in 2005: “The other guys were [from] the South [of England] and didn’t have the same type of social etiquette that we have up here in the North that could actually bridge that uncomfortable chasm with all the sensitivities required … to console.”

By ITTOD, though, we have our "relatively clean" camp friends Jones and Robert leading the charge and, I hope, having some good heart to hearts and enjoying each others' company. I really do wish we had more from that time, of that dynamic because I think it's a really interesting blip on the timeline given their distance mostly (I believe Robert said in 1971 that he had just started becoming friends with Jonesy, which I don't find hard to believe considering their opposite natures).

And then you get 'Carouselambra', all the nonsense and the mayhem boiled down into "why the fuck are we doing this"-edness. The kids are getting older, the tour is now a slog, and now you've got back pain. Kind of a sad carousel at the end of the day. “The whole story of Led Zeppelin in its latter years is in that song, and I can’t hear the words," Plant said, regarding how his voice is mixed lower than the keyboard in the first half. And there they were, in their 30s, and punk was on the rise and let's be honest, rock n' roll has never been a "middle years" kind of game.

But TO ME, that adds to the theatricality, to the idea that everything WAS getting lost and muddled. It's a brilliant, most likely unanticipated homage in my mind and Led Zeppelin WAS theatrical for as much as it was about the music, it was about the mythos and fable as well.

As a side note, I really hate how ITTOD is talked about for the most part as this like "lame keyboard album" when in fact, if Zeppelin had continued, it would serve as an LZ III/HotH vibe to me in that they could do whatever they want so they did and wow it was great. That's just my opinion, though, and I can definitely chalk it up to bias and also my love for Jonesy's post-Zeppelin work that really showcased just how fucking marvelous he is.

oh my god this got so long how did this get so long

This is just my take...I'm sure many people would be ready to contest what I have to say and that's just fine. 'Southbound Saurez' is one of my favorite Zep tracks and I stand by it.

I hope this was worth the time, lovely. Thank you for appearing in the asks and I hope you return someday. It was really lovely to take a journey into the more "academic" side of Zep...turns out I know quite a bit and I'm pretty good at rustling through the interwebs to find all the quotes I wanted to locate!

Feel free to correct me or engage in discourse kindly. I don't have time for negativity, I just turned 26 after all.

let it be known this is literally 950 words

[capsironunderoos]

Hoth Chocolate

DINCEMBER - December 4 - Hot Chocolate

Din Djarin (The Mandalorian) X Reader

CHAPTER 14 SPOILERS! S2:E6 SPOILERS PAST THIS POINT!

Summary: After the events on Tython, a tired Mandalorian finds himself back on Nevarro.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: SPOILERS! Also a very, very sad Din.

Author’s Note: Wow... So a lot happened in that last episode, and the only way I knew how to cope was to write. Thankfully Dincember exists, and I was able to do just that! This is very sad and has some angst in it, but some fluff too. It’s the fulfillment of the “Hot Chocolate” prompt for @dindjarindiaries​ Dincember, which makes this post just a tad bit late. Also, I learned that hot chocolate in Star Wars can be referred to as hot chocolate AND Hoth chocolate, and I literally love Hoth so much so that little bit of Star Wars knowledge will stick with me to my grave. Anyways! I hope you enjoy!

Here’s the previous prompt: 

DINCEMBER - December 2 - December (Ariana Grande Version)

And the link to my masterlist: capsironunderoos masterlist

“Cara- Cara said I could find you here.” 

You’re jumping up from your seat at the sudden break of silence. The book you were reading drops to the floor, and the sound of the hardback spine landing echoes around the room.

The shadow standing just inside your doorway is one you have not seen in a long time, one you had accepted you’d possibly never see again. 

You’re still standing in silence, trying to decide what he’s doing here, and how he got in, and how you didn’t even notice. 

“Din?” You whisper, almost unbelieving.  

Your brain tries to talk itself into believing this isn’t happening, that you’re dreaming, and in a few moments you’ll wake up, alone and nostalgic for days when the other side of your bed wasn’t cold. 

The visor of his helmet is still focused on the ground, and you notice almost immediately that he doesn’t have the child with him. 

You find yourself wringing your hands together, a nervous habit you’d picked up too many rotations ago to remember, and one that could only be calmed with the touch of the man who was suddenly standing before you. 

A child screaming in a fit of laughter outside your door as they run by catches you both off-guard. 

You jump at the sudden rupture of the silence around you, and Din spins quickly to look behind him. 

Something has happened, you can see it in the way his shoulders rise at the sound of the child laughing, and then fall once they have passed. 

You walk over to where he stands, still looking into the alleyway where the entrance to your house rests. 

You never take your eyes off of him as you hit the button that triggers your door to slide closed. 

The soft whoosh of it closing let’s Din know that it is now just you and him, that no one will ever know what takes place in this room besides you, and him. 

He’s missed that feeling, and you have too, though neither of you will admit it, not right now. 

Not when there are obviously too many other things to talk about. 

You stand facing his side now, noting that he has yet to look away from the closed door. 

“Din?” You try again, and a deep sigh falls from his lips, crackling into static through the modulator of his helmet. 

“Something has happened, hasn’t it?” 

You question and he still looks forward, as if acknowledging being here with you will also force him to acknowledge whatever he has been through. 

“Where is,” you’re unsure if you should finish the question you so desperately want to ask. 

You stop mid-sentence and clear your throat as your hands find each other again and repeat their motions from earlier in a desperate attempt to try and ground you. 

You want to know what has happened, you want so very much to know where the child is, and if he is okay. 

You want to know if Din is okay, and why he is here now, after so long. 

“What happened, Din?” You whisper, barely audible, and for a moment you’re unsure if he’s heard you or not. 

There is a beat of silence before his shoulders slump, and the visor of his helmet tilts so far down that his chin is almost resting against his chest. 

Your hands ache so badly to reach out to him, to touch any part of him you can in order to reassure him that everything is okay, even though it so clearly is not. 

“I,” he starts, and your chest tightens. 

Are you ready to let him back in just like that? 

Are you ready to hear the tragedies he’s endured since he left you, since you asked him to take you with him and he disappeared before you’d even had the chance? 

Din seems to be weighing the answers to those questions as well, but you can hear his steady breathing through the modulator and you notice him turning slightly towards you. 

His chin stays tucked into his chest as he continues. 

“I lost the kid. He’s… gone.” Din whispers so quietly that his modulator almost misses it, as you do you. 

The word “gone” ricochets around the room before crashing into your chest, and you feel the breath knocked from your lungs. 

Your legs grow weak, and you steady yourself against the wall to keep from falling down. 

“Din,” you murmur out softly, and he hears his name laced with both sorrow and comfort for the first time in his life. 

You notice how the utterance of his name seems to physically strike him, watching as he flinches at the sound of it. 

He clears his throat before shifting his weight and starting again. 

“Moff Gideon followed us to Tython. I- I left the kid, I left Grogu, alone, and scared for one,” he huffs loudly, and when he speaks again his voice is gravelly through the modulator, and you know that he is trying so hard to hold back, to stay strong. 

You just aren’t sure if he is trying to stay strong for you, or for himself.

“I left him for one second. That was- all it took was one second.” 

The defeat in his voice is something you have never heard from him, and it is something you never want to hear again. 

Your brain briefly latches onto the name the child has seemed to receive, and you wonder how Din came to know it. 

Before you can ask, you hear Din take a deep breath. 

He’s not finished. 

“They blew up the Crest,” he mumbles, and your eyebrows furrow. 

Surely you aren’t hearing him right. 

“They blew up- it took one second!” He yelps this time, his voice breaking and causing the modulator to crackle so loud it makes you flinch. 

“They blew up my home!” 

He yells now, visor raised as he looks straight at you, begging you to try and understand where he’s coming from, as if him leaving all those rotations ago didn’t completely uproot the home you had created for yourself. 

“That was my home. It was- I had so much of myself in that ship, so much of what makes me…” 

His voice has quieted down now, but he still stares at you. 

He can’t even finish his sentence as his hand reaches for something in one of the pouches on his belt. 

Your eyes slowly travel from the visor of his helmet to his hand, where he is grasping a small silver ball. 

You feel as if your heart will explode at the sight of it, immediately identifying it as part of the control panel of the Crest. 

“All that was left, I couldn’t, there wasn’t…” 

Hearing him struggle to speak has broken you into a million little pieces, and you feel your face growing wet from the tears you can do nothing to stop. You are frozen, and you are unsure what to do to offer even the smallest ounce of comfort to the man before you. 

Normally he is the one providing comfort, helping those in need and making sure everyone is safe. 

Now it is your turn to do the same for him, and you can do nothing. 

You are completely shut down, unresponsive, as if you are a droid whose each and every circuit has fried. 

Din’s shoulders begin to tremble ever so slightly, and before you can register what is happening he is dropping. 

The Mandalorian is on his knees now, his chin resting against his chest as he cries. 

The sound of his pain through the modulator is enough to snap you out of your stupor, and you are quick to follow him to the ground. 

“I lost everything, everything. In minutes. I have nothing.” 

He whispers, and the words are so strained, so full of hopelessness that you aren’t sure you even recognize the man before you. 

Hearing him believe so strongly that he has nothing left creates a strain on your heart akin to a vice grip, and the pain of it shoots through you, but you know you cannot argue with him now. 

Your role is to listen, to understand, to sympathize. 

You raise your hands to his helmet, and they hang in the air for a moment as you listen to his whimpers. 

Would he still allow you to see his face? 

You had made his clan of two into three at one point, but you wondered if he even remembered what that felt like. 

You had found sanctuary in each other, and in the way the both of you cared for the child, but it had seemed so long ago that you were unsure he even remembered a time when you were allowed to see him outside of the beskar. 

You begin to move your hands back to your lap, content with wringing them against each other, but you freeze when his hands shoot up to grab yours. 

His fingers are wrapped around your wrist, and holding them so tight that you are almost afraid he will leave unintentional bruises there. 

His chin still rests against his chest, and his shortened gasps for breath let you know that he is still crying. 

Din slowly begins to move your hands to his helmet, and he pauses for just a moment before bringing them to rest against the sides. 

The beskar is cold underneath your palms, and you instinctively curve your fingers under the helmet. 

His hands still grip your wrist, and with a final squeeze he lets go, his hands now falling limply into his lap. 

“Din,” you state his name in wonder, and he knows why. 

“Please,” he insists, begs, and it is all you need to hear. 

You lift the helmet slowly, sitting it beside you on the floor as you turn back to him. 

His hair has been cut, but you can still see the unruly mess of curls. 

His eyes are closed as tears continue to slip between his eyelids, making their way down his cheeks and pooling into the fabric around his neck. 

You inch ever so closer to him, gently taking his face into your hands. 

A tear begins to roll down his cheek, and when your thumb moves to swipe it away he breaks. 

A loud cry erupts from his chest, and the noise is so foreign to your ears that your brain can only register it as a feeling of unease and pain that spreads through your body like wildfire. 

Din suddenly falls the rest of the way, landing on his bottom with a loud thud, pulling your hands down with him, but you do not let them move from their spot against his skin. 

You have longed for one more chance to touch him, to hold him, and you would have asked for it in any way other than this, but this is all you have been afforded, and you will not take it for granted. 

You follow his actions, sitting on the floor in front of him, but he is quick to catch you and pull you into him. 

You straddle his lap, legs wrapped around him as he squeezes you into his chest. 

His nose finds the crook of your neck and your hands move to wrap around his head, your fingers lacing through his dark hair. 

You shake as he cries, both from his sorrow and yours. 

Tears fall freely as your mind tries to wrap around everything he has endured, and the way he so freely trusted you with his stories. 

You allow him to cry for what must be hours, neither of you moving or speaking. 

He whimpers as if in pain, and his struggle to catch a deep breath shakes you each time he gasps for air. 

You can feel his warm breath against your neck, and you can feel where he has soaked the collar of your shirt. 

Your heart aches for him, breaks for what he has witnessed, and longs to know the status of the child. 

After his breathing has begun to even out, and he has stopped shaking, you bring your hands back to his face, moving it to look at you. 

His eyes are bloodshot, and the skin around them is puffy from crying for so long. 

You can see that he is exhausted from the release of so many emotions, and you lovingly stroke his cheek. 

The smallest hint of a smile graces his lips and is gone as quickly as it came. 

“I shouldn’t have left him. I shouldn’t have left you.” 

You start to protest but he does not let you speak. 

“Gedet’ye, please, cyare, forgive me. I shouldn’t have left you here.” 

You have begun crying again, and he moves his hands to cradle your face and wipe away the tears. 

The both of you now sit in silence as you hold each others faces between the plans of your equally callused and bruised hands. 

“I will always, always, forgive you. You are my heart, my home.” 

“Ni kar’tayl gar darasuum.” 

“Ni kar’tayl gar darasuum.” 

I love you. 

At your confirmation of his words, he pulls your lips to his, and the both of you continue to cradle the other as you share the softest kiss. 

His lips are so familiar to you, as yours are to him, and it takes only a second for the pieces to begin to slowly connect once more. 

When you pull away, a bit breathless and somewhat surprised, you notice that sorrow is still settled in the deep brown of his eyes. 

“You know that I will do everything in my power to find the child, to return him safely to you. I know the attachment you feel to him, and how much he means to you.” 

Din nods at your words, and you notice that he has begun to tear up again. 

“I want you to tell me your plan to find him, because I know you, and I know that you were already thinking of one the moment he was lost.” 

At the word “lost,” Din’s chin dips again, but you quickly raise his eyes back up to yours. 

“And don’t you dare blame yourself for this Din Djarin. You knew the risks when you rescued him from the Client, you were aware of what could happen, and this tragedy has always been a possibility. The only difference is that now it is reality. Regardless, you are not at fault, and we will not abandon him.” 

Din is crying again, and you swipe away each tear as quickly as they fall. 

“Now, I want to hear that plan,” you prompt, and Din offers you a small smile. 

“You always did love immediate action,” he states, and hearing the slight tone of tease in his voice makes your heart swell with affection. 

You nod in agreement, and his smile grows. 

“I will make a deal with you, Mandalorian,” his hands have long fallen from your face to rest around your waist, but he uses them now to pull you closer to him. 

“Anything, cyare, anything.” 

“You tell me your plan, and I’ll make Hoth Chocolate.” 

He ponders your proposal for a moment, before a wide smile splits across his face. 

“How could I ever refuse Hoth Chocolate?” 

[thewriterowl]

How about some truly, truly angst headcanons about Luke?

Because angst Luke is the best Luke

Oh no, Luke-angst. I can give you the Luke-angst. Now some of this is mine, some of this is cannon and some of this is EU and possible, and i heard from @elloitselmo it's major oof

So, this is more cannon...but have you considered how Luke has pretty much witnessed the death of pretty much everyone he cares about? Though just born, he saw his mother die. He saw the remains of his aunt and uncle and knew they did not have a good death. He saw Obi-Wan die. He saw Biggs die. Saw his beloved Tauntaun die. He saw Dak, his comrade in siege of Hoth, die. He probably made a lot more friends in the rebellion he saw die. He was a leader in the rebellion and he saw his followers die. He saw Yoda die. He saw his father die.

He was bullied. Called names. Probably beat up. Had very little friends.

Owen refused to let Luke feel fully like family (for his own fear of him ending up like his father) so he was kept at arm's length from the one man who could've been a close father-figure for 19-years of his life.

Tatooine was apparently pretty miserable to him and he was very unhappy and lonely there.

He's been kidnapped a few times. Potentially more than what we know of.

Has clearly been tortured.

He tried to kill himself when he found out Darth Vader was his father.

His father has been responsible for horrendous atrocities and inhumane actions. He was nearly killed by said father. His hand was cut off by said father when the man KNEW Luke was his son. Very likely haunted Luke as well as hunted him after they parted.

Luke had, consciously or unconsciously, put a lot of his self-worth into his unknown father--wanting to know more of him and try to be like this image he made up in his head of what he figured his father would be. A lot of his view of himself as a person was greatly shattered after the revelation.

Apparently held this secret and clear depression to himself for three years. No one, not even his trusted friends, knew what he was dealing with. No force ghost came to him either.

Was very likely badly wounded after Palpatine but still dragged his massive, dying father a distances to help save him. Then had to watch him die, then had to be alone with his body in a ship, then had to burn and mourn him alone.

Is likely he suffers from the trauma, physical and mental, from his time in the rebellion and facing the Emperor.

Did not stop giving himself to the galaxy, even when he was exhausted and burnt-out. Probably never took a break either.

In the EU, he tried to save thousands of people...they died. He sort of pushed himself with all of them, feeling them die, probably experiencing their death, so they wouldn't be alone. Blames himself despite the fact he didn't have anything to do with it.

Would not be surprise if he does this often.

Do not see himself as a hero. Probably sees himself as a monster. Is probably viewed as a god to many, which is something that disturbs him and makes him ill.

In the EU, he was called the Emperor by Imps since he killed the other and that made him seem the rightful heir (which is probably worse than being seen as a god, being compared to Palpatine)

Has probably suffered many mental breakdowns on his own and has never told anyone.

Had to deal with a huge surge go power in his body over a short time of like, five years. that was probably incredibly uncomfortable.

Is probably terrified of going Dark and being like his father. Even though he already face that choice and still came out good, he probably feels that because he lost his temper and hurt his father he wasn't good or in the Light as much as he would hope to be in.

Probably has an unhealthy relationship with food. And sleep. not sure if he gets much of either.

Is so empathetic he probably feels a lot of pan from other people all the time.

Someone has tried to kill him because of being Vader's child. Very possible others have made him a scapegoat for their hatred of Vader, even though Luke is seen as the one who brought down the Emperor and Vader.

He had to tell Leia that, hey Vader, the guy who ruined so much of your life, the guy who literally held you and made you watch as your planet was killed?? That's your dad. He probably had to provide a lot of support for her with that horrible news.

Probably seen as his father's son, and Leia as her mother's daughter, and is compared to him a lot despite him being so much more like Padme. Another reason he has a lot of issues because apparently no one sees any good in him that his mother had.

The sequels. Nuff said.

Has no self-worth, probably no self-love. Berates himself constantly. Probably feels pretty unloveable.

Probably takes a lot of missions that could end in his death but he isn't bothered cause he isn't worth much and he needs to save people.

So much of this isn't a personal head cannon but stuff that has probably happened to him.

And hey, he still manages to be the kindest man with the brightest smile for anyone!

Haha, everything hurts.

[oo-hazel-oo]

The Lucky Batch

hey y’all! i’ve been working on this for a hot minute — turns out i am incapable writing anything shorter than 5,000 words, so sorry in advance for how long this got. a huge thank you to @cosmicghostie for being the ultimate writer's cheerleader and to the rest of the lucky batch for giving me such amazing characters to work with! you all genuinely brighten my day, so i hope this brightens yours! ♥︎

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Lucky: a few days in the life of Clone Force 37’s unofficial therapist

content warnings: blood/injury, weapon use, lots of emotional distress (but also some fluff to make up for it!!)

Thumbs didn’t know when he had become Clone Force 37’s unofficial therapist. It just kinda happened.

His original role as the squad’s battle strategist shifted after he realized that his usual skill-set wouldn’t be helpful to a squad who typically threw strategy out the window.

Yet even without a set strategy, the unconventional group somehow had a relatively high success rate when it came to their missions. Thumbs had assumed it was their unpredictability that gave them an advantage. Or the fact that each of them had unique abilities, unlike any soldiers he had ever met.

However, the longer he was with Clone Force 37, the more he started to notice just how special his batch-mates were.

The twins, Foxy and Pepper, had caught his attention first. Both were skilled in their own ways, but what stood out to Thumbs was how each was fiercely protective of the other. He wasn’t sure what the pair had gone through to end up on the Clover, but he couldn’t help but notice the weight of Foxy’s quiet around strangers or the subtle promise behind each sticker that Pepper placed. Thumbs knew more than anyone, love was always accompanied by fear.

He saw this fear in Master Kenhla, every time she glanced towards the two padawans she had come to mentor. Despite her powerful posture, Thumbs could see how she carried the galaxy on her shoulders; not so that she could manage more, but so her brothers could bear less.

Brothers like Rane and Skip, who had lost everything, everyone, before finding their place with the Lucky Batch. Or Sparks and Ryder, both of whom blamed themselves for tragedies of the past.

They all had lost so much… Yet, by some miracle, they had found each other.

Thumbs would do anything to make sure it stayed that way.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

This particular day had started normally, which for Thumbs meant wincing as three screaming forms barreled towards where he sat knitting at the back of the ship. He set his needles down, knowing he would not be getting back to work anytime soon.

“Here we go,” he mumbled under his breath as his batchmates shouted from across the hull.

“THUMBS!!!”

The small stampede, which was revealed to be Sparks, Ballast, and Luna, raced towards him, each one attempting to outpace the other.

“Oh Maker, Ballast, what did you do?”

The batcher in question skidded to a stop, mock-offense written across his face. “I didn’t-”

Thumbs gave each of his batch-mates a once-over, scanning them for injuries. “Should I get Pepper? Is anyone hurt?”

“Not yet,” the two mechanics both mumbled under their breath.

Thumbs sighed in equal parts relief and exhaustion. Ballast and Sparks had been ‘friendly’ rivals for as long as he had known the pair. Unfortunately for him, their rivalry often extended outside the realm of mechanics and into the everyday affairs of the Lucky Batch, with Thumbs usually acting as the chosen mediator of these disagreements.

Sparks pointed at Ballast, pleading his case. “He ate all the cookies Jack made me!”

“You’re overreac-”

“And drank all my caf.”

Now Thumbs understood the near-murderous look on Sparks’ face.

His brother had always done so much for the batch and asked for very few things in return, one of those things being his morning cups of caf: a simple but necessary pleasure that allowed him to function throughout the day.

Thumbs brought his attention back to the pair in front of him, wondering whose word to trust more. Then he brought his gaze down, to a much more reliable source.

“Luna, what happened?”

The padawan looked up nervously, her eyes partially hidden behind choppy bangs. Thumbs smiled when he noticed she was wearing the mittens he had knit for her. He had originally made pairs for both her and Brisk while they were stationed on a colder planet, but now Luna liked to wear them for fun, claiming they made her look like an ewok.

The young girl shrunk from the attention that was suddenly on her, moving closer to Ballast’s side.

“I…”

“What happened is he drank all my caf.” Sparks stepped forward, jabbing another accusatory finger towards Ballast. “The caf that prevents me from strangling my brothers when they get on my nerves.”

Thumbs spoke up, attempting to diffuse the rising hostility. “I thought you didn’t even like caf, Ballast. I always see you drinking that tea Jackal likes.”

The mechanic shifted on his feet nervously. “Well, I…”

Thumbs looked towards his brother curiously, confused by his sudden change in demeanor. Something about the whole dispute seemed off, almost like Ballast was covering for someb-

“Wait,” a small voice piped up from behind the three brothers. “B-Ballast didn’t take your caf, I did.”

“You-” Sparks spun towards the voice with an instinctive glower before recognizing its source. His features softened almost instantly. “What?”

Luna shrugged sheepishly. “I wanted to see if it was good… It was! And Master Ken said I was exceptionally energetic during our training afterwards.”

Thumbs fixed his gaze on Sparks expectantly, curious how he would react to the young batcher’s confession.

“I’m sorry,” she continued, wringing her mittened hands. “I know I should’ve asked.”

Sparks cleared his throat awkwardly as he waved off her apology. “No, it’s uh... It’s fine.”

Luna’s expression remained uncertain and Ballast elbowed Sparks in the side, urging him to reassure the young girl.

“Really, I mean... I shouldn’t even be drinking that much anyway,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck guiltily.

Ballast grinned at Sparks, eating up the moment.

Thumbs couldn’t help the smirk that crept onto his own face as well. For a squad of soldiers who had fought countless battles and overcome powerful enemies, they sure did surrender fast when it came to their padawans. No one onboard the Clover was immune to their effortless charm.

Luna eventually looked up at Thumbs, seeking his own approval, which he happily granted with an encouraging thumbs up.

There was a welcome moment of silence before Sparks’ head jerked upwards once more.

“Wait, what about my cookies?”

“Hmm...” Ballast looked to the floor dramatically, feigning deep thought. “You mean the chocolate chunk cookies with sea salt and a fine caramel drizzle?” He smirked before continuing. “I have no idea.”

Sparks took two threatening steps towards Ballast and within seconds the two of them were chasing each other throughout the Clover with Luna giggling in their wake.

For the clones, who quite literally were forced to grow up too fast, the padawans’ presence reminded them of what a childhood should be. It kept them grounded, desperate to preserve that feeling for the young girls for as long as they could. And if that meant that Luna could get away with stealing Spark’s caf, then so be it.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

That evening’s supply trip was supposed to be easy. A quick in and out operation to gather necessary materials for the coming weeks. But it had already been three hours since Ballast, Sparks, and Foxy’s expected return and no one on the Clover had received an update on their whereabouts.

Thumbs wasn’t someone who paced often. While the rest of the galaxy seemed to be in constant motion, Thumbs always tried his best to remain still at its center. But the longer he waited for his batchmates’ return, the more he felt like he was spinning off his axis, unable to stop the repetitive trajectory of his feet throughout the hull.

He wasn’t even aware of his own movements until they were interrupted by the sound of distant yelling. Strained shouts echoed from outside the Clover’s walls, nearly imperceptible amidst the intensifying wind. Their tone, panicked and desperate, was more bone-chilling than the rain that had started to fall around them.

Storms had always scared Thumbs. He hated seeing flashes of lightning, understanding that the explosion of thunder would follow, but never knowing when. Deep down he knew that thunder was harmless, that lightning posed the greater threat, but at least it was quick, unexpected, gone in a flash. Thunder was slow, deafening, inevitable.

When the Clover’s ramp finally lowered to reveal a bloodied Sparks cradled in Ballast’s arms, he knew that the lightning had passed.

This was the thunder.

Thumbs watched in silence as his brothers stumbled into the hull of the ship, a trail of mud and blood left in their wake. Ballast and Foxy eased Sparks onto the closest bunk, removing his armor to better assess the injury. Luna and Brisk dashed into the room, their eyes widening at the horrific sight. Luna’s breaths came in labored bursts as she called for Pepper, tears streaming down her face.

The squad’s medic came running, following the worried gaze of the two young girls who stood near the bunks. He spared a brief glance at Foxy before quickly donning a pair of gloves and shouting orders to nearby batch-mates. Hearing the commotion, Master Kenhla arrived and immediately ushered her padawans out of the room, not wanting them to witness the sight of their brother in pain.

While before Thumbs had been unable to sit still, now he felt frozen, cold as the ice on Hoth. His brothers were right in front of him, yet he felt as if he were watching the scene unfold from millions of miles away.

He kept thinking back to that morning — Sparks had been fine, albeit cranky over his lack of caf, and now…

Thumbs hated it. He hated how things could change so quickly.

He watched as Ballast, usually explosive in his mannerisms, now held Sparks’ hand in his own, whispering words of comfort as his brother lay motionless on the cot.

Thumbs suddenly felt sick to his stomach, a shrill ringing filling the air around him. The echoes of a memory that had been stagnant for years, forced into the depths of his mind, suddenly emerged:

An argument, a battle, another brother gone. A hand desperately squeezing his own before going limp, devoid of all life.

Another hand, this one from the present, landed on his shoulder, dragging him out of one nightmare and into another. A voice was speaking, asking if he was alright, telling him to sit down.

Thumbs’ guilt only increased. Hands that should be helping his fallen brother were instead on his own shoulders, urging him towards the nearest seat. He shrugged them off with an uncharacteristic roughness, finally taking a few shaky steps towards Sparks.

He had almost made it to the bunk when the same pair of arms wrapped around his torso, pulling him back.

“Thumbs, stop,” the voice urged. “You need to let Pepper help him. There’s nothing you can do.”

He knew the words were supposed to be comforting. He had spoken the same ones to almost every soldier who had come to him burdened with the invisible weight of survivor’s guilt. Sometimes it was what they needed to hear; other times, it wasn’t.

The last thing Thumbs saw was an oxygen mask being lowered onto his brother’s face before eventually succumbing to the arms around him, letting himself be removed from the scene.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Thumbs woke up the next morning with a headache.

Foxy, who had been the one to escort him out of the room the night before, filled him in on what had happened during the supply run.

Apparently as the trio had made their way back to the ship, bandits had intercepted them. The ragtag group of thieves were lacking in both numbers and artillery and hadn’t been particularly difficult to subdue. Sparks had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time, caught in the unforgiving crossfire of a supply trip gone wrong.

Thumbs wished he had been there. Maybe then he could’ve shouted to his brother in warning or pulled him out of harm’s way. Stars, he would’ve jumped in front of the deathly bolt himself if it meant Sparks was still standing at the end of the day.

The two of them had grown close over the past few months, especially after Thumbs learned the story behind Sparks’ name. He could tell that his brother’s outwardly gruff attitude was just a shield used to protect the sensitive, guilt-ridden soldier beneath. Even one offhand criticism of his work as a mechanic could bring him back to the accident and a past he wished desperately to forget.

Because of this, Sparks would often work through the night, losing himself in the wires and circuits of the ship to ensure he didn’t make the same mistake twice. Thumbs was always at his side reminding him to take breaks, to drink water when he was thirsty, to eat when pangs of hunger hit...

But there was little he could do for Sparks now as he lay unconscious in the hull of the Clover.

Pepper had done everything he could, luckily managing to stabilize their brother within a few hours of the incident. Sparks was slowly showing signs of improvement — he had even woke up briefly in the early hours, mumbling something about watering Percy, before slipping back into the depths of unconsciousness.

Percy was the name of one of Sparks’ plants, something Thumbs discovered after walking in on his brother affectionately repotting it in a moment of assumed privacy.

He smiled at the memory, shaking his head in disbelief. It was just like Sparks to be worried about keeping his plants alive while he was barely clinging to life himself.

With nothing to do but wait until his brother woke up, Thumbs made his way into the hull of the ship where he found most of the batch engaged in a lively game of Dejarik. It was a tradition, meant to keep the batches' spirit alive when faced with tough times.

He almost started towards them when he felt a presence to his left, distanced from the laughter of the others.

Thumbs’ gaze landed on Ryder as he stared out of the cockpit window absent-mindedly, though he knew from his expression that his mind was anything but absent.

Thumbs approached slowly, not wanting to startle the squad’s weapons specialist.

“Hey Ry, you alright?”

Ryder glanced up, a flash of surprise illuminating his expression, before looking back down, his face once again shrouded in darkness.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” A barrage of laughter sounded from the other side of the room, where everyone was still gathered. “Think I’m gonna go for a ride though.”

“Oh, okay…” Thumbs replied, wanting to say more to his obviously-distracted brother. “Mind if I tag along?”

“You always do,” Ryder said, shooting him a small smirk.

“Hey!” Thumbs laughed, punching his shoulder lightly.

Ryder chuckled, nodding for Thumbs to follow him to the far corner of the hull. Once there, he opened the weapons cabinet, extracting a couple blasters and holstering them on his form.

Thumbs looked at his brother questioningly.

“Just in case,” Ryder said, carefully checking over his chosen artillery.

Thumbs nodded quickly, admonishing himself for not thinking more practically, especially after what happened with Sparks. It was a dangerous thing to give the galaxy the benefit of the doubt.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The planet they were currently docked on was beautiful. The hues of its rolling hills were softened by the dying light, the gentle breeze transforming the tall grasses into golden waves. The sky’s colors evolved with each passing minute, all evidence of the previous night’s storm lost to its changing shades.

It was Thumb’s favorite time of day. At dusk the light never seemed harsh; it was sympathetic, understanding. It hovered, never fully settling, like a cloud. But dusky light was also ephemeral. Thumbs wished he could freeze it, trap it in a jar and release it when he needed its soft companionship.

He knew too many people like dusk: perfect, until they were gone.

“It’s pretty here,” Thumbs eventually broke the silence, a welcome distraction from his own thoughts.

“Yeah,” Ryder replied as his eyes traced the horizon, “It is.”

“That why you’ve been coming out here so often?”

Thumbs knew his brother liked to take his speeder out on rides whenever he needed a break from the confines of the Clover. He would even accompany him from time to time. But recently he had been escaping much more frequently and Thumbs couldn’t help but worry that something else was going on.

Ryder chuckled lowly. “I didn’t think anyone noticed.”

“Hey, you’re kinda hard not to notice.” Thumbs smirked, gesturing a hand towards his brother’s head: “Ya know, cause of the hair.”

Ryder grinned, blowing a stray strand out of his face. “Yeah, sure thing curly.”

Thumbs ran a hand through his own coily locks with a shy shrug.

The two brothers fell into a comfortable silence as fireflies blinked to life around them. Thumbs pretended they were shooting stars, closing his eyes and wishing for the speedy recovery of Sparks back onboard the Clover.

After a while, the air seemed to become heavy and Thumbs could tell that Ryder needed to get something off of his chest.

His suspicion was confirmed when he heard his brother sigh deeply, preparing to speak.

“Lately…” he started, tugging on the end of his turquoise braid. “I’ve been thinking a lot.”

Thumbs nodded and moved to sit beside him in a subtle gesture of comfort.

“About them?”

Ryder nodded, knowing Thumbs was referencing his past squad.

“I’ve been having the dreams again.”

Thumbs’ face fell. He remembered the night he found out about Ryder’s nightmares as if it were yesterday.

He had been awake in the hull of the ship, too afraid that something bad might happen if he allowed himself the privilege of closing his eyes. Ryder had started tossing in his sleep, muttering the names and numbers of unfamiliar clones. Thumbs shook his brother awake, eventually guiding him outside of the ship when he struggled to regain his breath. The two of them had sat on the Clover’s ramp until long after the sun rose, each finding comfort in the other’s presence.

Since then, the nightmares had decreased, but every now and again they would return. The guilt would return.

“In the dream, I’m back on the venator,” Ryder described, his voice hoarse. “First there’s the flashing lights. Then voices, their voices, but they eventually fade away and then there’s just static. For a moment, everything is quiet, just a faint buzzing...”

Thumbs gave his brother’s shoulder a gentle squeeze, letting him know he was still there, still listening.

“And then I’m in the escape pod. As I’m drifting away, I look back towards the ship, but it’s not the venator anymore. It’s the Clover.”

He paused, swallowing thickly.

“And then it’s just gone. Swallowed by fire.”

The unsettling images unearthed feelings that Thumbs never had the courage to voice out loud, but the anxious thrumming of Ryder’s fingers on the side of the speeder reminded him of his current task: to show his brother that he was there for him now, regardless of what happened in the past.

“Ry, I know there’s not a lot I can say. But know that they would’ve been so proud of you, of the soldier and brother you’ve become,” Thumbs reassured gently. “We all are.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Ryder mumbled.

Thumbs frowned, knowing his brother wasn’t convinced.

“Well, this was supposed to be a surprise, but it looks like you need it now.”

Thumbs pulled out the pack he had brought with him, rifling through it until he found a small bundle. He nervously presented it to Ryder, who observed the way it had been carefully packaged in colorful gift wrap and adorned with stickers, most likely donated by Pepper.

“I made this for you,” Thumbs spoke as Ryder opened the parcel. “It’s a blanket, obviously, but it’s… Well, it’s got a little more to it than that. Each row of stitches is made of yarn from all the different places we’ve been to as a batch. Thought it could be cool to see how far we’ve all come. But I also know how important it is to you that we honor our pasts, so down here,” Thumbs pointed at the bottom left corner, “I stitched in the names of CT-2019 and CT-1882. And over here is General Lyle’s.”

Thumbs looked up at Ryder, trying to gauge his reaction.

“I know it doesn’t change anything, not really, but I thought maybe it could help you sleep at night.”

There was a long moment of silence as Thumbs began to doubt the impact of his gift. The whole idea was starting to sound stupid now. Maybe if he had-

“I… Thank you, Thumbs.” Ryder finally spoke, his voice cracking slightly. “Really. It’s- It’s perfect.”

Thumbs grinned, glad to see the glimmer of hope return to his brother’s eyes. “Of course, anything for my vod.”

Ryder held the blanket close, tracing his finger over the carefully stitched names of his old squad. His eyes scanned over the various colors and textures that Thumbs had incorporated, recognizing yarn from planets they hadn’t been to in years. How long had his brother been working on this?

He was just about to ask when a subtle movement drew his own gaze downwards. Thumbs was quietly bouncing his right leg, a nervous habit that Ryder had picked up on throughout their time together. He doubted that Thumbs was even aware of his own anxious mannerism, but Ryder could tell that something was on his mind.

“Hey, vod?” Ryder placed the blanket down, his focus now on his brother.

“Yeah?” Thumbs replied, still staring straight ahead.

Ryder thought back to something his companion had told him just moments ago, something that had made him feel important, valuable, seen.

“People notice you too.”

 Thumbs chuckled, thinking back to when he invited himself to join Ryder on his impromptu speeder trip just hours before. “Yeah, I guess my constant pestering makes it hard not to.”

“Yeah...” Ryder continued, almost hesitantly. It would be harder getting through to his brother than he thought. “But we also notice why you do that.”

“And why’s that?” Thumbs asked casually, not quite sure where Ryder was guiding the conversation.

“Because you care.”

At this, Thumbs finally met his brother’s eyes, confusion painting his features. The words were simple, yet something about them did not fully compute.

“No matter how many idiotic things we pull, you’re always there for us.”

Thumbs held his brother’s gaze, considering his words intently, before looking down to his feet. He frowned before mumbling something, barely audible above the light breeze:

“Not when it counts.”

The words sliced through the air, contrary to the soft tone in which they were spoken. Ryder couldn’t help the immediate snap of his head towards his brother.

“What do you-”

“Yesterday, with Sparks,” Thumbs interjected, his voice gaining strength. “No amount of pestering could’ve helped him.”

There was something about the way Thumbs was speaking — something that Ryder had missed before, something familiar — that was unravelling with each passing moment.

“But he’s okay now, he’s fine,” Ryder tried to console, his brow furrowed.

Thumbs scoffed. “That was just luck. I heard what Pepper said: If his injury had been just an inch to the left…” He ran a hand through his hair frustratedly.

“Well, luck is kinda our thing,” Ryder said, repeating words that Pepper had spoken to him when he first joined the batch.

“But I don’t want it to be!”

Ryder looked up in shock. In the entire time he had known Thumbs, he had never once heard him raise his voice. But shock soon turned to concern when he noticed the tears streaming down his brother’s face.

“I don’t want to rely on luck,” Thumbs choked out, his voice softening. “Not… not when it comes to the people I care about.”

Helplessness.

Ryder was well-acquainted with the feeling — the image of his former general on the other side, the wrong side, of an escape pod window, forever etched into his memory. He tried to think of something to say that could comfort his brother, but the only words that came to mind were the ones Thumbs had already spoken to him moments before.

The whole batch knew that Thumbs had always struggled to take his own advice and that reminding him to do so never seemed to have an effect. It was unusual to see him in such a vulnerable state, something the former-strategist was well aware of as he avoided his brother’s gaze, shame written across his tear-stained features.

Ryder cringed at the sight, knowing he would need to take a more unconventional approach to offer his brother reassurance, one that would hopefully provide him with a fragment of control in a galaxy that seemed to feed on chaos.

Ryder nodded once, steeling himself, before reaching down and pulling his twin blasters out of their respective holsters.

“You know,” he started, attempting to keep his voice level, “I got these from CT-2019 and CT-1882. They were graduation gifts.”

Thumbs turned his head curiously, wiping away a stray tear in the process. A small part of him fought back the urge to smile: unlike his brother, he had been given craft supplies and a book for graduation.

“I could teach you how to shoot ‘em, if you want.”

Thumbs looked towards his brother incredulously.

“Ry, I’ve shot a blaster before...”

Ryder exhaled breathily, a playful grin gracing his features. “Ah, not ones like these. These here are DC-17 hand blasters.” He held his weapons in front of himself reverently. “They’re more powerful than your standard blaster, more efficient too.”

Thumbs hesitated, his confusion at the sudden shift in topic still evident, before nodding slowly.

“Alright, sure.”

Ryder spent the next few minutes guiding Thumbs through the best way to handle the blasters — helping him correct his stance, improve aim, and prepare for recoil. The process was strangely reassuring, giving Thumbs something tangible to hold onto, something he could control.

“Hey, Ryder?” Thumbs asked, looking down at the weapon in his hands, the echoes of its former owners serving as a comforting reminder that those who were gone could still protect their brothers who lived to fight another day. Maybe when Thumbs was gone, he could do the same.

“Thank you.”

Ryder had just begun to respond when a noise sounded from behind them.

Thumbs startled and spun on his heel, impulsively throwing the first thing he could think of towards the nearby bushes: Ryder’s blaster.

He mentally facepalmed as his brother jumped off of the speeder, aiming his remaining blaster towards the sound. He held out a hand as he crept closer to the bushes, silently telling Thumbs to stay back.

A tense moment passed, before a tooka revealed itself from behind the bush.

Thumbs sighed in relief before looking up at Ryder guiltily.

“Probably not the best use of the blaster,” he said with a cringe.

“What, you wanted to shoot it?” Ryder questioned breathlessly, a smirk growing across his features.

“No, of course not!” Thumbs smiled, relieved that his brother didn’t seem upset over his moment of panic. The tooka sauntered up to him, rubbing its head against his legs.

Ryder retrieved the discarded blaster and walked back towards the speeder, the remnants of a smirk still visible on his face. “Well, looks like good things can come from bad luck.”

“Yeah,” Thumbs huffed, looking down at the small animal by his feet. “Guess so.”

And maybe that’s what Clone Force 37 was: a group of outcasts who were all in the process of turning their histories with bad luck into good things — good luck.

“C’mon, hop up,” Ryder said as held out an arm. “Let’s get back to the ship.”

Thumbs let himself be pulled into the speeder, the firm grip of his brother’s hand a silent reassurance: I’m here for you.

He leaned back, his eyes reflecting the stars that had started to appear above. He wondered how many of them he couldn’t see, how many millions of lives were being lived just out of his view.

Thumbs glanced over to the brother at his side, thinking about how lucky he was to have crossed paths with him, with all of them, in a universe of infinite proportions.

“We should probably pick up some caf for Sparks on the way back… I know he’ll want some when he wakes up,” Thumbs spoke, laying all the way back in the speeder.

Ryder nodded in agreement as they lurched forward. The sun had finally disappeared from view and the two soldiers soon became mere silhouettes against the dimming night sky.

But anyone familiar with Clone Force 37 knew that they were so much more than two small blips on the horizon:

They were brothers.

And Thumbs was positive that nothing in the galaxy could ever change that.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

@the-lucky-batch @lavenderstaars @lynnpaper @foxlock @maygalodon @mango-peachjuice @radbatch @letsunity @burnthashbrown27 @generaltano @catboy-tech @cosmicghostie @namesmox @monako-jinn-stories @longearedowlfromouterspace @lusiawonder @just-another-dreamerr