#this really got away from me huh?
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Something that I've noticed ever since the Smiling Critters were introduced is that they can so easily be paired off into complementary duos, ones that are specifically designed to teach children fundamental lessons about life and self-care from two different angles. It's really interesting to me.
Like obviously you have Dogday and Catnap, with their sun/moon, dog/cat dichotomy, that stress how important it is to have fun and get things done during the day, but also that it's important to wind down, relax, and get a good night's sleep.
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Bubba Bubbaphant and Craftycorn were introduced as a duo in the Smiling Critter show's intro, and their dichotomy is quite obvious. They are basically the right and left sides of the brain personified. Bubba is the left side of the brain, logical, analytical, focused on math and science. Craftycorn is the right side of the brain, creative and imaginative, focused on the arts and self-expression. They represent learning and academia in all its forms, the different ways people engage with and understand the world.
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Hoppy Hopscotch and Kickin' Chicken form the sportsmanship duo. They are both portrayed as enjoying sports and the outdoors, but in different ways that highlight the different ways sports can be played and enjoyed and also what it entails to be successful at them. Hoppy Hopscotch may be loud and impatient, but she is also a team player, shown in her willingness to slow down her fast pace to make sure none of her friends are left behind. Kickin' Chicken, on the other hand, is laid-back, relaxed, and chill, the described "cool kid" of the group, but he's also described as having a ton of perseverance, more of a "slow and steady wins the race" type of person.
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This leaves Bobby Bearhug and Picky Piggy as the last pair. Fittingly, these two are all about how to meet the fundamental needs of yourself and others. Bobby teaches children how to nourish themselves emotionally through showing and receiving care from others, while Picky teaches them how good food is important to nourish the body and soul. Depriving oneself of either of these things only makes oneself and therefore everyone around one miserable, because those fundamental needs are no longer being met.
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Like fr, this is some pretty genius marketing right here. You have enough characters that every kid will have their favorite, but not so many that any would get lost in the shuffle, because the lessons each one of them would teach would be integral to the group as a whole. It really makes me that much sadder we saw basically nothing of the Smiling Critters during the game itself, because Mob Games struck gold with this concept, only to ultimately do nothing with it. :/
But I guess that's what fandom is for, eh?
#poppy playtime#poppy playtime chapter 3#smiling critters#dogday#catnap#picky piggy#kickin chicken#hoppy hopscotch#bobby bearhug#craftycorn#bubba bubbaphant#xi writes#tbh that 'slow and steady wins the race' comment makes me really wish Kickin' Chicken was a turtle instead#just to drive home that parallel even further#ngl i've been thinking about making this post for ages but i finally got off my butt and did it#me holding the Smiling Critters like Marge Simpson holding a potato: I just think they're neat!#it'd be a shame if the game company that came up with them never DID anything with them HUH MOB GAMES?#mob games don't walk away from me#MOB GAMES GET BACK HERE I HAVE THOUGHTS-
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STOP I'm thinking about the part in Gravity Falls where Stan shows up with freshly bought (stolen) light bulbs only to see Ford screwing a new one in surrounded by family.
And OH my GOD. AGH.
Stan gets a little (ir)rationally upset about this because... It's.. Guys,,,
Stan perceives it as Ford once again easily receiving the praise and love of their family when he had to fight tooth and nail to receive even half of it.... I'm not well ✋😔
#listen I might be too deep in the fandom space and i might actually be mischaracterizing them completely#I'm not saying that Dipper and Mabel don't appreciate and love Stan because they definitely do!!#I'm saying Stan is seeing Ford reintegrate into their new family and he's seeing him do it. so. easily.#So easily When Stan had to PRETEND to be FORD to get even a chance to be a part of their family again#Stan FOUGHT to be a part of this family#and Ford just gets to slide in and... just. be a part of it.#and i mean duh but also... man Idk#Stan had to pretend to be Ford to get even a smidgen of a foothold to be able to even just... interact with his family#Stan's a family man that HAS to look out for everyone but Ford's just.. family. He gets to just... be a part of them with no real obligatio#And I'm not saying Ford doesn't love his family I'm saying he's very repressed and bad at showing it sometimes#It's just that... Stan fought SO hard to be a part of his family. THIS family. That is all he has EVER wanted#and FORD- who had it and took it all for GRANTED- gets to waltz back in and just.... take it for granted AGAIN#hang on guys i think I'm starting to take this a little personally i need to calm down wow#Okay.... I think I'm good#But you get where I'm coming from#cole's talking#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#grunkle ford#ford pines#stangst#stan twins#These tags really got away from me huh#Ahem-- all that to say I think Stan's vague resentment in that scene is valid!!
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mark of cain
marc marquez + demian: the story of emil sinclair by hermann hesse
#god i finaly fucking finished this. bro#MY MAGNUM OPUS!!#this took AGES because of looking for pics and figuring out how i want everything to look and redoing things#me all the time: hmm how can i jam my interests together#hairpin weaves#mm93#marc marquez#rosquez#web weaving#valentino rossi#vr46#motogp#herman hesse#demian 1919#geeking out over my own ww a case for making the things you wanna see in the world#< said this before i lowkey got sick of it in the process but still#this was supposed to be just pics with text but then i got insanely carried away with imagery#suit of swords really suits their whole deal huh#most of the symbolism is pretty straightforward except for the lilies#wanted it to be a reference to not just purity but annunciation#an angel gifting lilies to mary as symbolism of the immaculate conception#and it connecting to how the legend of marc was born during these early years cementing him becoming one of motogp's saints#that will later be condemned to public (media) execution. like jesus!#also peep their memories in a line between rosquez from the initial bloom to the beginning of the end#their hands clasped together directly in opposition to the blood chase#rossi hiding behind the accusing finger marc the black hole to vale's sun achilles ceasar#there's a lot of stuff in here#the level of clutter is also intentional. btw.#yall can send me asks about any of the details#also should i edit this to include the art sources?
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lord above and below i’m so down horrendous for clorivia it’s not even funny 😭😭 brainrotting a clorivia x reader fic where you run a cafe with arguably the best macarons and tea in fontaine, which of course, in turn attracts rather high profile clientele to your humble store. two of your favourite customers just happen to be the most downright sinfully beautiful women in all of fontaine: the president of the spina di rosula, lady navia, and the one and only champion duelist, lady clorinde.
they used to come here often, together, in a younger, softer time, all intertwined hands and chaste kisses. but time crawls ever forward, and life is ever cruel. you see it in real time as they fall apart, a bystander constrained to the sidelines. it hurts, maybe more than it should, but you are nothing if not a good host. you sit with navia and rub her back as she weeps quietly into your shoulder, and you hold clorinde’s hand as she stares forlornly at her tea, that look of guilt seemingly etched permanently onto her face.
the wounds don’t heal, not truly, but they scab over. navia no longer cries in your arms, blossoming into her role as the president of the spina di rosula. she brings you her own baked goods sometimes, helpfully carried by the two impeccably dressed men flanking her at all times. she always sits next to you in the little private room in the parlor, pressed flush to your side as she chatters about the goings-on in fontaine. her cheer is infectious, and there’s always a smile on your face that you can’t seem to shake for the rest of the day when she leaves.
clorinde is still as reserved as ever, but she looks more like herself than she did after that fateful duel. she stops by rather often, but doesn’t stay for as long as navia does, getting a quick fix of tea before heading off to the opera epiclese. but nonetheless she always makes time to talk with you, gloved hands somehow always finding your own, idly playing with your fingers as she grumbles about some idiotic dispute she was hired to settle between cousins, or how a certain friend of hers wouldn’t stop pestering her to try and get your top-shelf teas for him on discount. (you try and give her some to pass to him, but she only looks you dead in the eyes and blandly says, “don’t. he hardly deserves it.” you, as an ever excellent host, decide not to question it.)
such was the status quo for the next decade. somehow, navia and clorinde coordinated their visits in such a way that they would never cross paths. your chest ached as you grieved what once was, but what right did you have to pry into that deep, festering wound? you could only pray to some higher power—certainly not furina, regardless of how entertaining she was as an individual—that someday those two might find peace yet again.
your prayers are miraculously answered in the form of a blonde traveler, who in the span of two weeks solved the serial disappearance case and somehow managed to get clorinde and navia speaking again. frankly, it sounds insane, but you’re not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.
clorinde comes to you first with the news, and it’s the first time you’ve ever seen the champion duelist as anything other than calm, cool and confident. there’s a flush to her cheeks and the slightest hint of a rare, girlish smile on her lips as she tells you, and for a moment you’re seized by how cute she is.
“navia… asked me to have tea with her,” she says slowly, though her giddy energy is difficult to ignore. “is her— are her tastes still the same?”
navia never lost legendary sweet tooth, and you inform clorinde as much. she brightens immediately, like a puppy that had just been praised. it’s so ridiculously cute you feel like your heart would burst. and then she’s pressing her lips to the back of your hand in farewell, before striding purposefully down the street, no doubt in the direction of the nearest bakery to scope out her options.
(and you pretend you don’t feel the gnawing loneliness in your belly, because you love her. you love her, more than you know, and more than you should.)
navia visits next, more put together than clorinde, but you’ve known her long enough to notice the nervousness in the restless movement of her hands. navia wilts on the plush cushions of the parlor, draping herself across your lap.
“it’s been so long, i don’t know if i— if clorinde—“ she begins, her voice tense and maybe even a little afraid. “what if i don’t know her anymore?”
you brush navia’s golden curls back with your hand, and meet her eyes. “isn’t that what you invited her to tea for? to relearn what you forgot, and learn what is new?”
“you always know what to say, don’t you?” navia sighs ruefully, but her eyes twinkle with affection. it makes your heart pitter-patter in your chest.
“well, i am a wonderful host.”
“yeah,” navia murmurs, her gloved hand reaching up to take your hand. “i don’t know what i’d do without you.”
her tone is achingly sincere, and you look away. a part of you fears what you would find in her gaze. a greater part fears what she would find in yours.
(love. love, steeped in the quiet confines of your soul for longer than you remember. a love that you would never give voice, because you know it is not you who navia loves.)
their fateful tea date eventually rolls around, and you hope they don’t see the way your smile wobbles as you see them walk in, navia’s arm tentatively looped around clorinde’s. clorinde says something and navia throws her head back and laughs, soulful and sweet and nothing you’d ever achieved before. you lead them to the private parlor, and before either of them can insist that you stay, for old time’s sake, you rattle off some excuse about needing to take inventory. you don’t linger long enough to see their expressions twist in concern, slipping out the door and shutting it behind you. it takes all of your willpower not to slide down the door and choke out a sob.
really, it makes no sense. they’re your closest friends. if anything, you should be ecstatic that they’ve sorted out the bad blood between them, and are mending their relationship. so why— why does your traitorous chest feel like it’s on fire when you see them together?
(deep down, you know why. you wished so desperately that they would look at you like that—like you hung the stars in the sky, like you’re more than just some normal person who happens to own a tea shop. like you’re more than just a friend.)
but you are nothing if not an excellent host, so you pack your bleeding heart back into a neat little box and go on with your work. clorinde and navia spend nearly the entire day in the parlor, and you have a waiter pop in every once in a while to top-up the tea and snacks. after the third refill, he mentions offhandedly, “i didn’t know lady clorinde and lady navia were that close! they were practically all over each other.”
your other staff coo and giggle conspiratorially, but it feels like someone had driven a blade through your chest. tears sting at your eyes and you blink furiously to clear them. in the end, you leave the shop early, passing the responsibility of closing and cleaning up to your most senior staff member. he doesn’t question your sudden need to return home, but he does put a gentle hand on your shoulder, as if to comfort you, even if he doesn’t really know what was happening.
distantly, you think you should give him a raise. he was certainly an excellent host.
you drown your sorrows in red that night, not bothering with a glass and heading straight for the bottle. you know a few nobles who would cease their patronage at your shop if they ever saw you comitting such alcoholic blasphemy, but unfortunately for them you could not find it in yourself to care. self-loathing and something just like heartbreak swirl like a storm in your soul, fierce enough that an entire bottle was barely enough to dampen it.
as you lie in bed, alone, you wonder what it would be like to share one with either of them. would clorinde curl around you, the big spoon, ever protective and honourable, even in sleep? would navia bury her face into your shoulder like she used to, her warm breath tickling over the skin of your collarbones?
in the end, you curl in on yourself.
(you wish it was enough.)
you make it a point to busy yourself with something whenever they come in together. you fire off practiced excuse after excuse whenever they invite you to join them—a meeting with a business partner, another advance booking by a client, or simply that you were just too busy. they��re weak and flimsy, but clorinde and navia do not try to get you to stay, either.
yet for some reason, they become more tactile with you than ever. navia clings onto your arm whatever chance she gets, interlocking your fingers together because she likes the way they fit in hers. clorinde tends to hover behind you sometimes, a steady hand on your lower back as you move through the crowded teahouse, her touch warm even through her gloves and the layers of your own clothes.
you can hardly look either of them in the eye anymore, and you can hardly stand to touch them, even the slightest brush of either of their fingers against your skin feeling like you’re being burned. like their touch might cut you open and suddenly you’d be bleeding your foolish longing all over the carpet.
no. you could not— would not let that happen. you wouldn’t be the one to get in between them like that. truly, you’d rather die. so you pull back and back and back, but what you don’t expect is how navia would go so far as to corner you one night as you close up the shop, her brows knitted in worry. it was just you and her, since you had sent your staff home early.
“are you alright?” she asks gently, as if she might scare you off if she spoke too loudly. “did i— have i done something to upset you?”
“no!” you sputter before you could stop yourself. “no, not at all! it wasn’t anything that you did.”
navia frowns. “but it is something.”
you bite your tongue, and look away from her piercing, blue gaze. her intelligence was always something you’d admired about her, but having it be used against you was nerve-wracking.
“it’s nothing, navia,” you whisper, mustering all your willpower to not let your voice splinter. “i have to go.”
you make to back out the door, only to collide with a lean frame. you crane your neck back and your breath hitches as your eyes meet electro purple—clorinde.
“i’m sorry,” she says, a quiet firmness in her tone, “but i cannot let you leave until i—we—understand what’s happening.”
“you both…! it’s really nothing!” your voice has gotten uncomfortably pitchy, desperation settling in your bones like dead weight. “i’m alright, really!”
“you’ve been avoiding us,” navia points out. “you can hardly even stay in the same room with both of us.”
“i don’t— i would hate to impose,” you say lamely. “i’m sure you both have plenty to catch up on, and i don’t need to be there for something so… private.”
“we want you to be there,” clorinde counters with a shake of her head. you almost laugh at the unassuming cruelty of her words.
“why?”
“because i love you,” navia says, taking your hands in hers, and for a moment you forget how to breathe. the world spins and your knees nearly give out beneath you, but clorinde is there, steady as a hammer, her front pressed to your back. she leans down, and her lips ghost the tender skin of your neck. “we love you.”
“navia is right,” she murmurs against your flesh. “i’m sorry that we perhaps did not make it clear enough for you.”
“this— what are you both even talking about? is this some kind of joke?”
navia looks almost hurt by the accusation. “of course not!” she takes one of your hands and places it on her chest, her expression one of resolute determination. “can you feel my heartbeat? can’t you feel my sincerity?”
beneath your palm, navia’s heart beats steady and true and devastatingly honest.
you bite your lip, a weak noise between a sob and a wet, disbelieving laugh bubbling from your throat. navia moves closer, wiping the tears from your eyes, much the same way you did all those years ago. after a moment, all you can manage is a weak, exhausted, “why? why me?”
you are just the owner of a tea shop. navia is the president of a national organisation well-known for helping the fontainian everyman. clorinde is the champion duelist, the best human combatant in all of fontaine. hell, you don’t even have a vision! so why—
“because you’re you,” navia answers, an easygoing smile lighting her features. “after my father died, i was lost. i didn’t even know what i wanted to do, or how i felt. if i was angry, or if i was sad. but somehow, you always knew. you were the only one who didn’t treat me like glass. you know, i don’t think i would be the person i am today without you.”
“after that duel, you were the first person to ask if i was alright,” clorinde adds softly, so close you could feel her breath fan along your ear. “you’re also the only person who picked up on my nightmares. in those coming weeks, the only reason i could sleep at night was thanks to your blends. no one… no one else cared about me like that. you’re extraordinary.”
oh, you’re really sobbing now. they’ve gone and done it.
“but aren’t you both already…?” you force out between each shaky inhale. oh archons, if you had to choose between one or the other you really would die tonight.
“yes,” clorinde affirms, “but we want you to be part of it too.”
“it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way,” navia says hurriedly, “we can forget this conversation ever happened. your friendship still means a lot to us.”
“no,” you admit. “no, i don’t think i can stay just friends. i’m a little too in love with both of you for that.”
navia beams, and she’s looking at you like you’re the centre of her world. her hands cup your cheeks, smoothing over the ridge of your cheekbones. behind you, clorinde chuckles, a low rumble as she nuzzles her face into your hair, inhaling the scent of your shampoo as her arms loop around your waist. navia leans in close, so close that her words are whispered right against your lips.
“can i kiss you?”
you answer her by surging forward and pressing your lips to hers. she greedily drinks you in, the taste of salt from your tears and the sweetness of her lip gloss mingling. navia kisses you with fervor and infectious joy, that you’re both giggling almost deliriously as you pull apart.
“i think clorinde would like a kiss too,” navia coos suggestively, wiggling her brows at the duelist behind you. clorinde rolls her eyes good-naturedly, but tilts your head up and to the side with a gloved hand, and slots her lips against yours.
your lungs empty of air as she kisses you, an electric feeling thrumming in your veins. clorinde tastes like rose tea, a blend you made especially for her, and your stomach flutters. her large hand cups your jaw as her tongue teases the seam of your lips, drawing a breathy noise from you. at some point, navia had moved closer to you, your fronts pressed flush together as she nosed at your neck, peppering the sensitive skin with butterfly kisses.
“i love you,” you whisper, sandwiched as you were between them. “both of you.”
navia hums against your neck, kissing your racing pulse. “we know.”
“we love you too,” clorinde finishes for her. she kisses you again, chaster this time, but when she pulls back there’s a glint in her purple eyes that makes heat coil in your belly. “we’ll make sure to show you tonight.”
#sev.scribbles#this brainrot really got away from me huh#clorivia#clorinde x navia#clorinde x reader#navia x reader#clorinde x reader x navia#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#clorinde#navia#i’m gonna be honest i wrote this in my ecology class#not proofread at all so if it’s unbelievably bad or ooc pls dont kill me#but fuck it we ball
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I think today I will cry about BC not making tour vlogs anymore 😔
#yes i'm still bitter about the live performance video they posted yesterday#it seemed more like something made for promotion and marketing rather than for fans to relive the moment#or for fans who couldn’t attend to experience it as if they were there#the frame wouldn’t span on one moment for longer than 1.5 seconds which made it kinda messy#and you didn't really get a good picture of what the show was actually like#they didn't show how awkwardly long it took for the curtain to be gathered and carried away 🤭#instead they showed moshpits THAT DIDN'T EVEN HAPPEN DURING THOSE SONGS 🙄#and the content you see on their band account on tiktok/ig is no different#good for promotion i guess. uninteresting for their existing fans 🥱#i get that editing vlogs is extra work (for joonas) and that some of them may not want there to be a camera on their face all the time#and that *siiiiiiiiiiigh* ''youtube is dead'' 🙄#but i don't think i would have fallen for this band half as bad as i did if it wasn't for the umk/esc vlogs and the content from summer '21#followed by more tour vlogs from their other tours#nowadays it's only fast-paced tiktoks and promotion and joel's SUPER FUNNY filters 🙂#i would give up them all for 5-minutes of vlog-like content from the EU tour 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#whose dick do i need to suck for this huh?#joel is it yours (as the band's social media guy)?? i will do it in the back alley of your local sushi buffet#just tell me when and i'll be there but make sure your cock's already out and hard i haven't got all day
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Challenge level: Impossible (Patreon)
#Doodles#Spoiler alert: I was in fact not normal about it lol#You can tell those first two are old by comparison for how short my hair was at the time lol#From back in July! I guess I just hadn't been drawing myself much there for a bit huh#As for that last one I swear I Promise I drafted this in September it's not a reference I'm just actually genuinely Like This lol#I didn't choose this life etc. etc. lol#From the top!#Burst of inspiration wherever could that have come from hehe <3 What could've happened in July that made me want to draw I wonder hehehe#Bit funny considering I fell off posting - not like the inspiration stopped! And what I Did draw was Very lol#I still have some of it in an ever-present photoviewer because I like being able to look at it at any point <3#Still inspired! Still want to do more studies!! So pretty ♥♪♫#Sleepy thoughts - I had my Pkmn Diamond/SoulSilver field dex/guides for all of like two months and then they were packed up again#And this was Before the Pokemon burst! Sheesh sheesh#I love my field guide dexes they're so neat and well-made ahh#I have got a couple craft projects still back-burnered - those papercrafts to do with Pokemon are still on the list!#A little Pokedex-notebook is so fun.......And I have Pokemon stickers that I could put in it or on it......ah........#I do want to! I will at some point the energy will return to it eventually#Alright so the main course lol#Went fabric shopping for plushies because yes I Am determined to Make Thing! Another that's been a bit backburnered - but I will!!!#I do still really want to it's turned out pretty good for far :) But while I was shopping!!#We did the usual small talk thing with the store employee like ''Oh what are you buying this for'' that whole back-and-forth#So I explained that I was making plushies and needed the tear-away stabilizer to draw the embroidery outline on#In my head I was being very tempered because while /I/ know that I'm making a Max plushie not many people are familiar with him (wrongly so)#Lol#So we continued and he was like ''Oh cool I've made some patches with embroidery :)'' so I asked of what and he lead with CotL's crown#And then-#Look Zarla's work was Already on my mind with Max as my project I was in a Delicate Way already do you really expect me not to talk about it#The answer was no and he walked away with a Vargas recommendation in his pocket I hope he enjoyed it lol#And I got my fabric and started work on Max's face it's fine it all worked out in the end it's all good it's great lol#I Was encouraged to come back with my finished project so that's on my to-do once I get him in a presentable state haha
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How do you have kids and don’t make them do chores. I’ll never get it, man. They grow up to be one of those ppl who’s never washed a single dish before and are usually dirty and of privilege mind. Parents essentially sending their usually annoying kids out into the world to be an even further nuisance just because they don’t know how to do simple, everyday chores when they are fully capable of doing so and are able bodied.
#my younger bro is like this unfortunately the most he does is empty the trash and that’s it bro#he’s lazy and unfortunately he sues his autism to get away with Everything im so serious#it doesn’t help that mom used to baby him now he just doesn’t do anything but eat sleep and shit#we’re not privileged idk where he even got this mentality from outside of mom babying him man#rambling#but#outside of the brother ppl who live like this really are the most ugly ppl on earth to me#not pulling your own weight and helping when you can when you are physically able to and have the time#especially as an adult#you got other mfs cleaning up after you and you’re grown…… that’s….#you should be embarrassed sorry#not even talking about ppl who hire maids that’s a whole other thing but just in gen man#you are taught how to clean from a young age#you only become#a burden when you go around other ppl making messes and looking stupid when told to clean up after yourself#you’re like ‘huh? someone else was gonna do it I guess haha-‘ like noooo you did that#no one around you is your maid bro stop playing with ppl#even having a dishwasher is not even an excuse tbh like especially when washing dishes by hand is sm more effective and faster
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Earth did nothing wrong.
That's it. That's the post.
#the sun and moon show#tsams#sams earth#sams moon#moon fans have really been discounting#all of times when earth tried to help#moon with his mental and emotional well being huh?#how is it her fault that he remained clammed up#about his true mental state?#'look how quick she gave up on him after he said one measly mean thing to her!'#he said and did much more than that actually#— attempted murder among those things.#and about the initial confrontation between them:#earth was still willing to forgive him.#she didn't mean that he was 'dead to her as a brother'#when she got angry with him.#in earth's own words:#'I just meant our relationship is gonna be different from that point on. I wasn't gonna tell him the things that I was insecure about.'#perfectly valid reaction.#mental illness doesn't excuse treating people poorly period.#plus moon wasn't detached from reality#when he weaponzied earth's insecurities to purposefully hurt her.#also earth never said anything which implied (directly or indirectly)#she had disowned him.#pre-murder attempt.#if anything moon threw her away.#earth's words again:#'and then he does the whole you're collateral damage. it's basically telling me you're dead to me and I don't care about you anymore.'#and even after all that she keeps feeling at fault (she's not) for moon's issues.#hardly the behavior of someone who 'gave up on him quick'.
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my mom said my cats cant live with us in the trailer which . i just can’t do that man i cant live w/o them they are my only reason for getting up everyday,..... they’re the only thing i have irl that makes me smile or feel any amount of joy or anything whatsoever. i wonder if i could get my own used trailer too,,,,, i was looking & there r RVs for 12k,, if only i could get hired somewhere maybe i could afford it by summer :(
#im still probably going to kill myself hving to go back to my childhood . there is no escape#it never ends its always there & it’s always rotting me away#even my therapist agrees i need to get as far as i can#but i never can.#also#i got turned down from the other cafe i was trying to work at a month or so ago#ive been trying to ignore it to not fuck my mental health into a spiral but i do hav to face it I guess o(-<#there’s still the bubble tea spot I’ve been trying to get my resume to since they opened#but i checked my resumes today and something pink spilt on them o(-<#and i have no way of printing new ones#unless i go buy usb stick and pay to have them printed at staples or something but i. don’t have any fucking money#they really make it as hard as possible huh
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once again i am projecting all my shit onto that old man (overstimulating him in a horny way)
#chilaios#i’m at 10k of chilchuck pov#and laios JUST got his tongue on that old man#notice i said ON not IN#they have not even begun to get freakynasty with it :/#this fic is really getting away from me huh#oops
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LUFFY!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN CONVERTED!!!! LUFFY BELIEVER FULL TIME!!!!! LET US WORSHIP THE SUN!!!!
#luffy deflating like a balloon..... be serious 😭😭#MOMO NOT BEING ABLE TO HEAR LUFFY!!! oh kaido going for the others now..... law could hear his voice too???#NAMI BEING THE FIRST TO STEP UP!!! CHILLS!!! THIS TIME STEPPING UP TO WITNESS THE HORRORS!!! YEAH!!!#yamato really does carry the spirit of oden straight up.... motivating his son and everything...#i feel like i am going insane... I CAN HEAR THE DRUMS!!! nami telling luffy to not die and fulfill his promise WHO ELSE HAD A PROMISE????#is this why his fruit awakened.... because nami reminded him of the promise... omg..... THE DRUMS!!! CHILLS!!!! THE SMILE!!!!! IM SO HYPE!!#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1070#i am smiling so hard rn. contagious#also the cp0 that died for this ajdja.... suffering from success....#THE BOUNCING SOUNDS!!!! THE DRUMS!!!! THE SMILE!!! SANJI JUST VOLTING AWAKE??? see the clouds over his shoulders remain.... as i was saying#you know this has me realising maybe shanks isn't all that bad and stole the fruit from the gov so they couldnt get hold of it#hiyori saying how oden kept hia promise but also how he wanted to keep the promise of opening wano for joyboy#THE KANJURO THING!!! HIYORI WATCH OUT!!! oh its gonna burn orichi by accident YEAAHHH!!!!!!! FUCK YEAHH!!!!#the animation is so fun.. luffy just junping around and shit while hia destruction power is MASSIVE#this is so!!!! kaido complaining about being bored and having fun thru fighting AND HERE COMES LUFFY WITH HIS LOONEY TOONS GOOFY FIGHT!!!!#they knocked this shit out of the park!!! also END CREDITS????!#episode 1071#momo saying kaido got fat 😭 actually kaido got pregnant <3 yamato you're going to be a big brother congrats!!!#the eyes 😭😭 damn luffy flew away and exploded... 😞😞 skipping rope with kaido omg.... everyone should go outside and see this...#we are welcoming here in the luffy believers... barto is gonna enlist hundreds of new members#law is luffy believer number 1 damn the speech he is giving kid... omg kaido bonked him ajshaksjak that was so good he needed witnesses..#nami worried abojt luffy being dead and when he appears she is just like WTF IS THAT!!!!!! HUH???!!#wait a second ooohhhh kaido is goong down too fuck yes akdjaksj momo and yamato peeking over the island jahdksk#THE DRUMS BEING HIS HEART I CANNOT GET OVER IT!!! Kaido shoukd be puking up his insides by now but alas this is so fun BOIOIOIOIOING#FIRST TIME SOMEONE ASKS LUFFY WHO HE IS AND HE DOESN'T SAY MONKEY D LUFFY FUTURE KING OF THE PIRATES. HE SAYS ITS HIM. STRAIGHT UP!!!!#NVM HE SAID IT!!!!! GOD IS THAT YOU????!!!!#episode 1072
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Fin.
#darktalks#well i fucking got what i wanted. huh. that sure was a modular armor system#overall i liked it a bunch! kassandra is very fun as a character#i liked the mystery of the cult and i really enjoyed the friendship dynamic with barnabas and herodotos. coupla pals goin on a ship#Speaking of! i liked the adrestia. i liked sailing around and i liked ship battles#i think it's because it's scaled back in comparison to Those Other 3 in terms of weaponry and addons and what have you#so it didn't feel like if i was falling behind if i wasn't dedicating ALL of my resources to the ship all the time idk#the maps id say were right on the border of excessively bighuge but i liked how varied the scenery was#not just between greece and the dlc2 areas but between different regions of greece#and the mythical beast/monster encounters were a nice level of challenging that broke up the monotony of fighting other humans#more on the story i like how personal they've made the plots of orig and odys. it really gets you feeling for the protags right away#it's something that also happened with ezio and connor for example. but syndicate and black flag (especially black flag) are kinda lol lmao#even still in AC2 the motive was ''hunting assassins'' not ''hunting YOU specifically'' so to some degree it was still impersonal#it was cool seeing darius in action but dlc1 parts 1 and 2 felt a bit more eh to me#i think it was just because fast travel in makedonia and achaia was a bit of a pain#dlc2-1 also felt a bit overlong because of how many factions you're helping. 2-2 by comparison is super short (but sweet).#2-3 made me want to kill aita all over again. i have mixed feelings on the isu :thumbsup: Aletheia can hang#this is not the games' fault of course but after Hades (game) seeing all these ''gods'' just look like taller humans is a bit of a flop#(let's not get on how much of an idiot they made hermes of all people)#the further rpgfication of equipment and abilities felt like a chore. what the fuck do you mean ''+17% assassin damage''. be serious.#from what ive heard that's something very much still present in valhalla BUT ALSO there's a stamina bar?????? wherefore dost thou do this.#i will say i missed having an animus database. which was also missing in origins? like ik there's the discovery tour but it's Not the same.#i liked the RW segments well enough. something something blonde woman and protagonist with isu artifact smth smth two nickels#kind of a flop moment to not finish off the literal Biggest Problem for the assassins when you had the chance Layla :/#to valhalla we go
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I think we might have trauma tied to the literal feeling of falling asleep/waking up. Like we get nightmares that are just. The feeling of changing concousness but drawn out + adrenaline + terror
#this may be from sleep paralysis? because we also get that sometimes#also sometimes when falling asleep we get like a rush of adrenaline and if we're far enough along well get shot into sleep paralysis or#start half dreaming about being woken up from a coma or dying.#which like 99% of the time is what we want? but then these things hapoen and its like. huh. maybe i DO have a will to live#it feels less like me or another alter and more like the body literally things its dying.#this happens both sober and intoxicated but doesn't seems to happen more frequently when intoxicated which is interesting#if anything its usually easier to push through#but one time we were like super fucking stoned with my ex and i started flipping my shit because im chill like thag#and so he took me out to the car vecasue i was like “i cant be in the house snymore its not safe i cant be here”#and he leaves to go get something and im like terrified to fall asleep#it gets worse when im scared sometimes. like a certain type of fear its like horror feeling.#anyways so im trying ot to pass out and im convince if i do ill never come back and my ex enters the car and i start screaming. like bloody#murder. and then HE screams. so then were both screaming. and eventually one of us stops screaming. and i dont remember which one. and i was#like :( im sorry that was really embarrassing but also im still so scared im sorry#and he was like 'its chill.' and then he goes to get another thing later and hes like Dont. Scream. When i get back. Dont Scream.#and i was like . okay 👍🏼.#and then he got back and i screamed. but it was easier to stop that time#and then his mom drove us around the neighborhood and i convinced my self that the whole world was just a figment of her imagination#and that really helped for somereason#so.#this kinda got away from me but basically i had one of those drawn out consciousness change night mares last night#dream log
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🙈
#I feel. like I get too worried about putting my stuff in the tags LOL#or just too worried about ants in general#but to be fair I've come from some really infested fandoms#where people got reported for this stuff so hard they were removed from the site#idk if tumblr changed it though. maybe they did. where if someone hit a certain number of reports on their account they got removed#whether they were breaking TOS or not#I think that could have been changed because I don't see it happen anymore#but the more I cared about this tumblr acc the more scared of that I got LOL#it's been super peaceful though???#this could just be because I blocked like half the fandom before posting anything here#but I haven't received any hate mail & haven't had any sort of callout like I was expecting#and I guess mallesil isn't really SUPER controversial#it's leaning off the gray area lately but it is still in the gray area#I just feel like I'm cheating with how easy it is to ''get away'' with having HEY I LIKE INCEST front and center on my pinned and all#when I've seen someone get reported off the map for making one singular post saying they don't mind people who ship child characters#and I've just gotten away with posting sooo many mallesil posts in the main tags lately I'm like huh??? Did I ever actually need to worry?#it's kind of embarrassing I guess having several things in my Posts That Do Not Go Into The Main Tags#that I'm just now realizing were probably totally fine to put out there lol#like damn maybe I can just talk about lilia kissing silver with tongue and get away with it????#anyway#while I am on the subject of things I am embarrassed about for no reason#I feel especially bad lately for not posting like ANYTHING about sebek or lilia most of the time lol#I made a point to draw all the twst characters at least once a while ago but I don't think I've actually drawn sebek more than that?#sorry sebek I love you sebek :(#sebesil is such a good ship and I just have absolutely zero passion for it I DON'T KNOW!!! It just isn't there for me!!!#I like it a lot I love all the ship art for it I like seeing it pop up in fics#but if you leave me to my own devices I'm. not going to think about them even a little probably lol...#I do think about mallesebe sometimes though. I wrote about them once for the request. they're so fun they're so awful#and yet. most of the thoughts I have for mallesebe I'm just like hrmmmm this could be mallesil instead#sorry again sebek I love you sebek 😭
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Remembering that a 4 hour psychological test means 4 hours under the examiner's microscope. I hope they let me listen to music during a written test, but idk if that would defeat the purpose or not. I... really don't know what to expect tomorrow, and it's kind of making me a bit nervous. Lol.
#speculation nation#i dont like to be psychologically analyzed. god i just remembered i have therapy this week too.#which that at least. i mean it's uncomfortable but ultimately it's just talking.#psychological testing they are gonna be Watching me. there will be the questions but also they will be judging my actions#and im so used to masking but that would actually go against me in that instance.#and i really hope theyll let me listen to music bc 4 hours of silence sounds like hell on fucking earth.#but i dont know if that's. part of the process??? put me through stress to see what makes me tick???#my goal is to get an adhd diagnosis but im also scared theyre gonna pick up on the autism.#im gonna be honest. but i didnt plan to get the autism diagnosed bc i dont want the downsides of that#ya know. societal and institutional ableism. etc etc. they might take away opportunities from me.#but it goes hand in hand. and surely it couldnt be too bad if they pick up on it...#i could manage through 4 hours without music but itd be hard. and it could do bad things to my brain.#i think im preemptively prickling up. like a porcupine. i dont want them Looking at me.#i need to just... chill out. whatever comes will come. and it's ultimately in my best interests.#this is what i need to get my adhd meds. it'll be worth it.#..... but im also worried about what else might show up. i know i got Problems. but i dont want them to... know about them.#all sorts of awful invasive questions about me and my past.#for someone who acts like such an open book i really am so allergic to actual emotional vulnerability huh?#decent chance i'll just dissociate thru the whole thing. to get through it.#cut the emotions off. who needs em. the brain can factually answer things without the emotions' input.#anyways im gonna go do some chores. peace#negative/#lol.
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I am a simple Allie: I see unhinged, I wanna put em with Taru or Kae
#//Secret option: with Luc or Kaveh hdhdbdb#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//This is abt Scar of the WuWa hdhfh#//I am ENAMOURED by he#//And I want to give him the most ridiculous potentially chaos crossover ship jfbfb#//Kav and Taru are winning in my brain tho hfbbf#//Bc I think Kav and Scar is just SO FUCKEN DIFFERENT it tickles my brain#//And then Taru and Scar; they will be a fucken Danger to everyone including themselves#//And they would enjoy every second of it: I feel it in my BONES#//Meanwhile with Kav; he has to try and handle a man who would commit Attrocities for his specialest boi#//And Kav is done a STRESS; both bc the attrocities AND worrying abt Scar in the same breath#//I love the idea of him tryna keep him safe from Cyno; esp if he got too invested in Scar’s wellbeing too soon#//And now he has an Attachment; and would feel AWFUL giving him up to the Law#//Then again; he wouldn’t have to do anything really bfbfb#//Bc Scar just keeps coming back to him like a stray cat findin the person who consistently feeds it; even if he DOES get arrested#//‘Arrested’#//It that one meme of the guy looking up at the girl’s window and she calls police on him and he gets dragged away hdbfb#//Actually I think that’s funnier hfbfb#//Kav being 100% on board with sending him off to be arrested by Cyno#//By also being SO attached; he can’t say no when Scar pulls up asking for a plate of whatever Kav & Haiyi dined#//Hdhfbfb#//‘Here eat well’ ‘this is delicious! Is your matra friend on his way?’ ‘Haitham left the room to call him when I let you in-‘ ‘aight fair’#//I gotta keep playing wuwa i think i wanna let this one cook more before I REALLY ramble jfbf#//For SURE Kav would hexkin EXPLODE at the endearments and coy words#//Taru would just be Confused like ‘me??? You mean me??? HUH! :D’#//The way I see it now; Taru is prolly the one that’d ACTUALLY catch his eye like that bc of his thoughts on doing anything to be strong#//Meanwhile Kav is just the guy he goes to for a quick recharge bc hes so caring; would take a Lot if at all to actually win him over#//Tho Kav being so willing to debate him might give him points in Scar’s book I think. him brushing Kae off as pathetic or weak bc#he disapproves of what Scar’s tryna do/how he carries himself; ends up getting earful startin w lISTEN HERE YOU LIL SHIT-#//And Scar’s just ‘OH. I see now-‘ Prolly why he keeps coming back hdhfb. bc he wants to debate Kav again
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