#and so he took me out to the car vecasue i was like “i cant be in the house snymore its not safe i cant be here” | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thetangibleghost · 2 months ago

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I think we might have trauma tied to the literal feeling of falling asleep/waking up. Like we get nightmares that are just. The feeling of changing concousness but drawn out + adrenaline + terror

#this may be from sleep paralysis? because we also get that sometimes #also sometimes when falling asleep we get like a rush of adrenaline and if we're far enough along well get shot into sleep paralysis or #start half dreaming about being woken up from a coma or dying.#which like 99% of the time is what we want? but then these things hapoen and its like. huh. maybe i DO have a will to live #it feels less like me or another alter and more like the body literally things its dying.#this happens both sober and intoxicated but doesn't seems to happen more frequently when intoxicated which is interesting #if anything its usually easier to push through #but one time we were like super fucking stoned with my ex and i started flipping my shit because im chill like thag #and so he took me out to the car vecasue i was like “i cant be in the house snymore its not safe i cant be here”#and he leaves to go get something and im like terrified to fall asleep #it gets worse when im scared sometimes. like a certain type of fear its like horror feeling.#anyways so im trying ot to pass out and im convince if i do ill never come back and my ex enters the car and i start screaming. like bloody #murder. and then HE screams. so then were both screaming. and eventually one of us stops screaming. and i dont remember which one. and i was #like :( im sorry that was really embarrassing but also im still so scared im sorry #and he was like 'its chill.' and then he goes to get another thing later and hes like Dont. Scream. When i get back. Dont Scream.#and i was like . okay 👍🏼.#and then he got back and i screamed. but it was easier to stop that time #and then his mom drove us around the neighborhood and i convinced my self that the whole world was just a figment of her imagination #and that really helped for somereason #so.#this kinda got away from me but basically i had one of those drawn out consciousness change night mares last night #dream log

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