#listen I UNDERSTAND the point she is making

[feathery-dreamer]

I understand the joke, but hear me out (as someone who's in no way an expert in history); also there's some personal stuff in the last part of this rant.

The bloodline thing was maybe valid for royal and noble families, for whom having no heir meant the lands would go to someone they hated and/or the family name would actually end.

But since infant mortality has been reduced, family names have branched out more and more. There are maybe thousands and thousands of people with the same family name in a single, average-sized country. Even here in France, we've had instances of hearing or reading our (Turkish) surname in other people, even the same full name once.

Our genetic line? all of my cousins are in straight marriages, no risk of extinction there. Our family name? see above, they're everywhere including foreign countries. I absolutely have 0 reason to worry about either of those things.

Nowadays, the reason you hear often is your parents "want grandchildren" and; well frankly, my marital choice is none of their business nor concern.

We no longer live in Medieval times when it was normal to marry your kid off to whomever you picked, or try to convince a more powerful person (lord, count, prince...) to marry your child, for socioeconomic improvement. We live in a time and place where your child chooses if, when, whom, why they marry - which includes socioeconomic betterment, but for the person in question and not for their parents.

If you, my parent or grandparent, only "love" me in hopes that I would one day "repay the debt" by giving you (great-)grandchildren? Then I'm sorry, but you do NOT love me at all. You love a presumed image of me that you have, your own planned future with grandchildren. That is NOT love, it's using your offspring as a tool for your own personal agenda.

It's as manipulative and awful as my mother when she claimed I could talk to her, but then kept cutting me off five words in. One time (just one) I pointed out she always interrupted me, and she instantly hit me with the "because you talk too slowly". What does this mean? "I will support you but won't provide the energy to adapt to your need, you must supply extra energy in the midst of your struggling to speak faster." Also, "it's not on me to make an effort to listen (as I said I would), it's on you to catch my attention and make me listen."

Conditional "support" doesn't count. Conditional "love" doesn't count. Conditional "care" or "attention" or "nurturing" doesn't count.

You, the parent, are the one who DECIDED to have a child - it's on YOU to adapt to whatever you end up with. The kid never signed up for this, they don't owe you jack shit for something you chose to do.

The older generation's fixation on forcing you to have kids is something they absolutely refuse to unlearn. You can give the calmest and most reasonable explanation for not having kids and the only thing they can think to say is, "But what of the heir to the lands?" "Who will inherit the throne?" "Please sire upon your barren death there will be a parochial schism that will soak our soils with brother-blood." They literally hate to see you happy with just a cat.

[heavensoutofsight]

tension and release | b.e.

synopsis: you and billie share an intimate bath as a way of de-stressing after a long day.

tags/warnings: established relationship, sharing a bath, romance, fluff, implied sexual content

word count: 1,653

author's note: just an idea that's been festering around in my mind please enjoyyyy. notes and reblogs are always appreciated <3

The second you arrived home, you wasted no time in ridding yourself of your work clothes, opting to lounge comfortably in a cozy robe as you watched the bathtub fill with warm water.

You didn't often take baths; showers were quick and efficient and normally you preferred them. But with the holiday season came insurmountable levels of stress that began piling up, weighing on you like heavy sandbags. You weren't just affected by your hectic work life mentally but also physically, as your stress often manifested in stomach aches and a sore body from how tense you were all the time. Simply put, you were feeling extremely overworked, and a hot bath was just screaming your name.

At some point, while you were sitting at the edge of the tub, watching the water rise and adding generous amounts of soap, Billie's dog, Shark, decided to trot into the bathroom with you, his cold nose poking your hand.

You smiled at him, giving him gentle head pats. It was almost as if Shark could sense that you weren't feeling great and came to comfort you.

Eventually, the bath was ready, and it had plenty of bubbles and was the perfect temperature. You grabbed your phone from the pocket of your robe and immediately began browsing through Spotify, searching through your long list of different playlists and trying to decide which one would fit the mood best. While you were doing this, that's when your lovely girlfriend made an appearance. Shark quickly ran out of the bathroom to greet her, and with an airy laugh, you followed the pit bull with the same level of enthusiasm.

When you exited the bathroom you were met with the sight of Billie kneeling on the ground, hugging Shark tightly and showering him in kisses. You watched the scene before you unfold with fondness in your eyes, chuckling to yourself at the way Shark mercilessly locked Billie's face.

You briefly made eye contact with Billie while she was in the middle of her show of affection, and the grin on your face only widened.

“Okay, Shark– I missed you too, but somebody else deserves some love, too.” Billie said as if Shark could understand anything. She gently had to push him off, not before giving him one last kiss, and then she was quickly making her way to you.

She crossed the distance in just a few seconds, wrapping her arms around you and giving you the same treatment, her lips covering every inch of your face. You were laughing the whole time, holding her close. When she pulled away, she was gazing into your eyes lovingly, her hands still lightly squeezing your waist.

“Hey, mama.” She said with a wide smile.

“Hi,” you replied, sporting the same lovesick expression. “How was your day, baby?” You asked her, curiously.

“Productive. Finneas and I actually worked on a few songs.”

Your eyebrows raised in surprise at that. “Working on new songs already?” You inquired excitedly. You loved hearing about any new music Billie was working on because it meant you'd eventually get to hear early versions of it, and it always made you feel extremely special to listen to her creations long before anyone else had the chance to.

“Yeah, well, surprisingly, I was just suddenly feeling really inspired and I just had to take advantage of that feeling while it lasted. We were kinda on a roll with ideas. It was nice.” She replied, grinning as she thought back to her time spent with her brother just moments prior.

“That's really nice, Bils. I can't wait to hear what you've got so far.”

“And I can't wait to show you. I've already got some snippets for you to hear.” She said, leaning in close, whispering those last few words against your lips before giving you a cute peck. It was an innocent, chaste kiss, until she leaned in again and gave you one that was a bit deeper, her lips slotting against yours perfectly like a puzzle piece. She has pulled you impossibly closer against her body at this point, her hands roaming a bit lower, shamelessly feeling you up (and of course, you shamelessly enjoyed it).

Billie again was the first to pull away after a couple minutes had passed. She quickly gave your body a look up and down.

“You look fucking adorable in this robe– wait, is that mine?” She asked, inspecting the fabric closely. You chuckled.

“Maybe,” you said mischievously, sporting a sly grin. “But I know you love it.”

“I absolutely do,” Billie replied with a smirk, leaning in to kiss you again. You reciprocated the kiss, but didn't let it go on for too long– although you wanted to, you quickly remembered that the water in your bathtub was cooling down and you wanted to get in there while it was still hot.

Reluctantly, you pulled away this time, your hands moving from the nape of Billie's neck to holding her hands. You absentmindedly played with the rings that adorned her fingers.

“As much as I love it when you kiss me senseless, there's a hot bubble bath calling my name.” You said. Billie simply bit her bottom lip in response, giving you a knowing look.

“You wouldn't mind if I joined you, hm?” She asked, but she didn't even have to pose the question, as you had already made up your mind.

You were already pulling her to the bathroom when you replied, “Please join me.”

The both of you entered the bathroom, Billie closing the door once she was inside. You didn't waste a second in taking off your robe, lazily letting it fall off your shoulders. You didn't immediately get in though, turning around to face Billie, whose eyes were very obviously glancing elsewhere.

“Your turn.” You said playfully, and Billie happily obliged, removing her baggy jeans and oversized shirt. She folded them neatly, placing them on the counter, her rings placed on top. You were shamelessly ogling as well, admiring her beautiful body and appreciating every dip and curve.

When she was fully undressed, you stepped aside to let her get in first. When she slowly lowered herself into the water, you could visibly see her expression relax, her eyes fluttering shut as the heat from the water encompassed her.

“Fuck.” She cursed, letting out a few other small sounds of pleasure that made your cheeks hot.

“The temperature is good?”

“It's perfect, baby,” Billie replied, glancing up at you. “Get your pretty ass in here.”

At that, you giggled, following her instruction and joining her in the water.

You had a similar reaction, the warm water immediately soothing your tense muscles. You fit perfectly between Billie's legs, your back laying against her chest. In this position, you could rest your head on her shoulder, giving Billie access to the most sensitive spots on your neck, which she was quick to begin peppering in kisses.

You sighed in contentment, focusing on the feeling of the hot water and Billie's lips on your neck. You hadn't felt this relaxed in a while, and you were savoring every second.

“Baby, I'm so sorry,” Billie mumbled, still lazily kissing your skin. Your eyebrows furrowed, perplexed at her sudden apology.

“For what?” You replied, your words just slightly slurring together as you already began feeling tiredness overcome you.

“I didn't ask you how your day was,” she said. “Tell me all about it, my love.”

You scoffed. “My day was boring and uneventful, like always. Definitely not as interesting as anything you've got going on.” You replied earnestly.

“If it's coming from you, it's always interesting.” She responded warmly, lazily tracing patterns into your skin underneath the water. You smiled at her words, your eyes closing as you reveled in the sensation of the softness of her body beneath you, feeling her chest rise and fall with her breaths.

For the remaining couple of hours, you and Billie had brief moments where you'd talk about whatever entered each other's minds, and other moments where you two would simply sit in comfortable silence. Sometimes, Billie would begin humming or quietly singing, her voice sweet as honey, her lips just barely brushing against your ear. You had also switched positions at some point, with Billie on one end and you on the other, legs tangling together in the middle.

Sadly, the water did start to get a little cold, and you were the first to notice.

“Billie.” You softly called her name, noticing that her eyes were closed and she had seemed to doze off. You held back your chuckles, nudging her a bit.

“Billie. Baby. My angel.” You tried again. Billie's eyes opened for a split second.

“Hm?” She said sleepily, and your heart warmed at the endearing sight before you.

“Water's cold. Let's dry off, yeah?” You said. Billie grinned, slowly nodding, still shaking off sleep.

“Okay, mama.”

The two of you got out and dried yourselves with towels, the both of you making your own towel dresses and heading to your shared bedroom, where you just laid in bed, feeling slight chills from the cool air. Of course, the both of you were cuddled up together, basking in the relaxing silence. The towels didn't really stay on, and at some point, you both ditched them altogether, the skin-to-skin contact feeling much better anyway.

You both were pretty much keeping your hands still until your lips found each other again, the two of you sleepily making out with a newfound passion. It wasn't long until Billie had you on your back, kissing down your body

“Billie,” you half spoke, half whined. “Don't you wanna nap?” You asked, a smirk tugging at your lips.

Billie just looked at you with a hungry stare, her head already situated in the place you wanted her most.

“You're gonna nap real good when I'm done with you, mama.”

[mythalism]

the timing of someone apparently shitting on me for being a veilguard hater on some remote corner of tumblr is so funny because i was actually just in the shower like an hour before listening to the atonement ending suite and thinking about the things that i love about veilguard after almost 2 months of marinating on it, so apologies for destroying my reputation as a certified HATER!!!!!!! but i actually wanted to share these earlier so im still going to. i think its interesting especially because ive seen a lot of people that hate these same things about the game, but my opinion has stayed the same. its also interesting because OVERALL the more i think about veilguard the more i dislike it, but for these certain aspects, the more i think about them the more i love them.

THAT FUCKING SONG!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!! even two months later i get choked up listening to it. and guys....... i dont listen to lost elf anymore. like i just dont even think of it. thats not to say trevor morris isnt the greatest of all time, and the atonement ending song relies heavily on lost elf. i know. but my favorite parts of the atonement song are not even lost elf!!! overall i missed trevor deeply, i did not like the veilguard soundtrack. i even turned the music volume to 0 at some points because it felt like nails on a chalkboard to me (ghilannain fight music made me want to d*e). HOWEVER. this is supposed to be positive. and if you ask me to choose lost elf vs atonement theme... im choosing atonement theme. every time. the way it adds to lost elf is wonderful. it gives me chills. it is so haunting. i will never tire of it. I LOVE THIS FUCKING SOOOOOONG. i also love the dread wolf song. so honorable mention to that one.

i love the solavellan ending. i know people hate it but nothing i have seen has convinced me to abandon my love for it. it is the best ending we could have possibly gotten in a game where the veil stayed up. and yes obviously i think the veil should have come down. but my IDEAL ending would have been veil down, rook takes over the mantle of dread wolf, solas and lavellan give up their mortal bodies and become spirits together and ascend to the fade. and honestly thats pretty much what happens, just without the veil. i love the mythological fairy tale vibe. i love the bittersweetness. i love that it is both tragic and hopeful. i love that it is vague enough to leave the future open. i love that the devs refuse to confirm where exactly in the fade they are. i love the sigyn loki eros psyche parallels. i love the maker and andraste parallels. could it have been built up to better? absolutely. but thats an issue with the build up, not the ending. i thought solas was going to die and we were going to watch the light go out of his eyes as lavellan held him and sobbed. it is so much more hopeful than i expected. i love that we get to redeem him through the power of love. i love that lavellan forgives him. i love that they survive. I LOVE IT!!!! and i love it the more i think about it. ive tried to hate it because i understand the perspective of people who didnt like it, but i literally cannot make myself dislike it.

i love the solavellan ending scene itself. i love how inky creeps in through the door. dont ask how she got up there its fine. i love how she sneaks up on him. i love that she comes up those stairs and it parallels the prologue scene with varric. i love that she has a zinger ready for him. "even if those you have wronged asked you to stop?" oh its so fucking good. i love his pathetic defeated "vhenan". i love that he rejects her again. i love that he apologizes but stays true to his goals. i love that it takes something beyond lavellan and the modern world to finally crack him. i love the way he looks at mythal like a kicked puppy. i love the way he cannot meet her eyes. i love the way he crumples and sobs and we see a completely different side of him that I NEVER FUCKING EXPECTED TO SEE IN A MILLION YEARS???? i love mythal's coldness and frankness as she releases him. i love that she doesn't apologize. i love how fucked up and messy it is. i love how it speaks to their entire relationship being fucked up and messy. i love that it has given me so much to chew on about what the fuck was going on with them. i love the way lavellan kneels so she can see his face. i love that she speaks in elvhen (even if the translation leaves something to be desired). i love that its all in the hallelujah cadence. i love that he assumes she wont come with him. i love that she has to chase after him one more time. i love his fucking tear mesh. i love his face when he looks at her. i love that their scene is wedding coded. i dont love the kiss but im trying to be positive and its tiny in the grand scheme. i love her hand on his shoulder as they step into the fade. i have a few complaints about the scene but none of them are enough to cheapen my enjoyment of it.

i fucking love fragment mythal. obviously. but seriously. i love the scene where you get her approval its one of my favorites in the entire game. i love that its hard to get her approval. i love that she fucking kills you if you piss her off. i love her lines. "after he killed the swamp witch. AND WEPT." BITCH!!!! and "you are a thousand years from knowing the correct words" or whatever. I LOVE HER. i love how fucking nasty she is. i love how she has clearly been stewing in resentment for thousands of years. i love that she is rude and proud and haughty. i love that she'd be looking down her nose at you if she wasn't like 5 ft tall. i love the way she falls backwards off the ledge with her arms out and closes her eyes to transform into a fucking dragon. i love her condescension. i love the decapitated wolf statues in the background. i love the note from felassan that reveals solas made her an entire island for herself. i love that she reveals that he put her there. i love that he could not bring himself to visit her even once. ohhhhh my god it makes me dizzy. talking to her was a moment where the game felt like dragon age to me.

i love my lavellan in this game. did i want WAY more of her? yeah. and i expected more. but every moment we got i loved. the first scene with her is mostly whatever its appropriately formal for her meeting a stranger. but the way she stutters when talking about solas? when asking rook to give him a chance by using the wolf statue to learn more about him? the way she looks down and to the side as she says it? banger. masterpiece. the act 3 conversation makes me have to lay down. i can barely even talk about it without foaming at the mouth. i love her characterization. i love that she orders rook to tell her something like she has gotten used to the power of her title as inquisitor. i love her subtle desperation to have her hope for him validated cloaked under her inquisitor mask. i love how it begins to crack as the conversation goes on and she gets lost in the memories of him. i love her sincerity. i love the way she speaks bluntly and unapologetically of her love. i love her facial expressions and her furrowed brow. i love how confident and self assured she is. "or maybe im the prideful one, imagining his broken heart so that i do not have to face my folly; that i loved someone who made such terrible mistakes. that i might love him still" IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THE ENTIRE GAME. perhaps. PERHAPS. in all of dragon age. yes im serious. its that insane to me. it feels like shakespeare wrote it. im only half kidding. i was rolling on the floor of my bedroom when i heard it. it still gives me chills. i love that her lines are in the hallelujah cadence. i love the way she talks about their relationship. i love how she is angry and indignant about his lies to her but that does not infringe upon her love. i love when she says "how could i have fallen in love with a god and not known? why didnt he tell me?' i love how sure she is that she knows the true solas. i love every word out of her mouth. i love all of it. that is my favorite scene in the game. i love when she shows up with dorian in the end. i love "is there any chance, any chance at all that he'd listen to reason?" i love her face when she says it. i love "speaking from the heart, inquisitor?" i love when dorian asks if shes heading out afterwards and she says "something like that" BE SOOOO FRRRR. SHE WAS FUCKING SCHEMING. there was not a moment that she was on screen that i did not love.

overall, i am happy with solas in this game. this one is last because its the weakest because i do criticisms but overall, i think it was fine LOL. my biggest worry was that they were going to completely woobify him and make him above reproach and erase the negative sides of him in favor of making him MORE sympathetic to new players. the fact that we got the opposite is crazy, but i vastly prefer it. id rather have him be too villainous than robbed of his complexity to be more palatable. that would have fully ruined the game for me. so the fact that we got to see him being an absolute prick little shit who betrayed us TWICE was wonderful. i loved being betrayed. i love the scene where he puts rook in the regret prison. i LOVE how he appears behind rooks shoulder in flashes and the player can see him but rook cant. i love how he circles rook like prey. i love how he does that cunty little thing with his hand over the dagger. i love that he taunts rook. i love that he doesnt actually take the dagger from them and instead waits for it to fall into his hand. its so immortal trickster god. i love that fucking scene. i love the "by my hand" line and how he looks you in the face as he manipulates his words so expertly. i love his banters with the companions. i looooooooved listening to him beef with elgar'nan. it felt so HIM. i was like YES!!!! THIS IS THE DREAD WOLF I WANTED TO MEET!!!! i was screaming during that quest. anyway. i wanted more of him. yeah. i dont really care that much that the companions and general story is weirdly unsympathetic to him. because it obviously didnt work!!! LMFAOOO 72% people still decided to redeem him so whatever! hes still pookie. im just so glad they didnt make him boring and lame. all my issues along this vein revolve more around the veil than solas, so i consider it a separate issue. i loved seeing mean nasty cunty trickster god.

ok in retrospect this list isnt that long KJHREGKJERG. however all of these things are very important to me so the fact that i love them is essential. like i truly got what i needed out of this game. i criticize it a lot but i would have done that even if the game was a 9/10 for me. i do it to literally everything i love. except fmab because its above reproach. but literally everything else. i was writing essays criticizing the percy jackson books on tumblr when i was 15. i have been criticizing dragon age online for 5+ years. veilguard aint special in catching my heat. critical analysis is in my soul. anyway i wanted banger solavellan ending that i could chew on for years and i got it. thats all i needed! ok now going to go listen to atonement ending suite again and transcend into the astral plane

[dobadoo]

˗ˏˋ ꒰ BURN FOR ME ꒱ ˎˊ˗ arlecchino

You are a ballerina. In the age of advanced technologies that develop faster and more realistically every day, you are afraid of becoming just a shadow of these technologies..

✧ warnings — NSFW, hurt/Comfort, ballerina ! reader , gentle sex, romance, minors & non nb/wlw do not interact. ✧ a/n — I thought about the backstory of the fic for a long time, because I didn't want to write nsfw just like that lol, this is the first time I'm writing to a girl on my account, I mostly only wrote to boys..😅😅 (Arlecchino step on me)

You are standing on a small stage. You are wearing a white ballet skirt. A little fluffy, covered in detailed patterns, a little sparkling in the dark, gloomy little performance hall.

There are people sitting in the chairs, all dressed in the latest fashion, and somewhere above, a couple of important Fontaine officials are sitting, looking down on you like hawks at their next victim. And you dance, dance and dance like a white swan on the lake, your movements as precise as they are elegant.

And you are scared. Sweat runs down your back, making the fabric of your dress unpleasantly sticky and wet. It is stuffy, your head is spinning from the music, and if you look into the distance, it seems as if the whole space is shimmering.

.. And the music ends.. You hear applause.

You breathe heavily, trying to hide it. You stand up straighter, arching your back almost to the point of crunching, and bow. But when you straighten up, you understand that people are not looking at you. And opposite you, there, on the other side of the stage, is a robot. Without heavy clothes, without makeup that hides almost all the flaws of the face. Without ballet shoes shoes..

..Without a face that needs to be constantly controlled. Without eyes that can look into the abyss of feelings, if only you look into them in response..Without a heart.

The robot opposite you is singing a melody for your own performance. People surround this robot, looking at the miracle of mechanics with delight and childish spontaneous curiosity. They applaud, praise the creator of the robot and Fontaine's new policy regarding technological progress.

And you stand right in front of this crowd on a huge stage, in a belle skirt and ballet shoes. You see these people. Who applaud some robot, they listen to a mechanical repetition of how someone sang in the past. A repetition devoid of feelings and sincerity. A repetition set by some algorithm of numbers of a simple code - "one" - "zero" - "one" And so on - to infinity

And you Dance, stand. Dance, stand. And so on - to infinity.

You remember how a few years ago everything was different. Children loved to watch your performance, and people in the big theater did not take their eyes off you and looked at you with delight. You try not to look in the direction where the robot is standing and there are people who with trepidation and admiration surround this insensitive and heartless robot. When all the people left the hall, leaving you alone in this space..

You shudder.

You hear the only sound of applause very close, you turn your head to the side. A woman is looking at you and applauding, it seems, at you, and not at all at the robot. She is looking you straight in the eyes. Her smile is sincere. The woman's eyes are two strokes of scarlet, which are permanently burned into your retina.

She is tall, slightly taller than you. Slender, her waist is very thin. The woman is completely covered by some strange, but elegant clothes

of an alien style. Black-white-red. Three constants in her clothes.

You are silent. Over the past two years, you have forgotten how to perceive recognition. You bowed again, you smiled at her. You curtsied and the woman let out a chuckle.

The woman suddenly comes closer to you. There is something in her movements that you involuntarily take a small step back, still standing on your toes and in that damn ballet skirt, and it seems that you are still shorter than her.

The woman moves so close to you that you feel the air around you change with her breath. You feel the warmth, not of a machine, not of a monster.

Warmth. A little burning, unfamiliar, but inviting.

The warmth of a human body.

"Good performance. And a good mask on the face," the woman whispers in your ear, sending goosebumps through your body.

The woman barely noticeably runs the fingers of her right hand along your shoulder. You feel how sharp her nails are, but you don't feel pain, only unnatural warmth.

The woman's hand suddenly moves away, and you feel something cold in your hands.

The moment of warmth disappears as quickly as it appeared. The woman moves away from you and with the same smirk on her thin, even lips, goes somewhere, passing by the switched off robot where people were looking a couple of minutes ago. And you stand, looking after her as if amazed. Like the statues of the Archons, who are eternally motionless and which nothing can revive - not even the prayer of a desperate mortal.

You suddenly realize that you have barely breathed all this time and have heard nothing but a low, hoarse female whisper.

You blink, look around, but it is too late - the woman has already managed to leave the hall, haha, and you did not even hear the slamming door.

You automatically look at your palm and find several large mora coins.

You swallow as you gradually return to reality and begin to see and hear everything perfectly. You look at several mora coins in your hand. The mask on the face always needs mora so that it continues to be beautiful and perfect.

But the heart burning in the darkness - no.

Your routine is simple. Put on makeup, put on a ballet skirt, bandage your chest so that it does not stick out, and put on ballet shoes. Lace up the corset. Repeat the dance that you have rehearsed countless times before. Inhale - exhale. Count to ten, put a smile on your face - and go out on stage. Lately, you are rarely invited to participate in solo performances in the theater. You look like a robot among artists, although in fact you are an artist and there are only mechanical iron things around you.

You stand up, long accustomed to the blinding spotlights in the first seconds of the performance. A couple of young magicians performed in front of you, you met them before, nice guys, they helped you once… but you don’t really care about it.

And it’s your turn, you start dancing, spinning, doing pirouettes and complex movements. All this is a continuous performance, and all life is a theater, you all need to play your roles on time. But isn’t there passion and tragedy in the theater at the same time?

You close your eyes and remember that very warmth. So human and inhuman at the same time. You remember the hot breath and inspiration that washed over you the moment you saw that streak of scarlet in that strange woman's eyes. If the heart could burn with a living flame, all your clothes would have burned away long ago, charred, and you would be dancing naked on this stage. But haven't you been naked for a long time? Doesn't inspiration burn away a person's outer self and set fire to his inner self?

You know that this woman is in the audience; sitting among the few spectators who still enjoy a living human performance, despite all the technological progress in Fontaine.

You don't wonder about her reaction, you don't think about the smirk on her perfect marble face. You don't imagine her words that would send a pleasant, euphoric shiver down your body.

You stop your dance with a bow as the music fades. You've already torn your heart out of your chest, it's burning - so why prefaces and afterwords? You open your eyes, the spotlights, as usual, blind you a little. But they seem like shadows compared to what's burning inside you. You look ahead. Someone is applauding you, but you're looking at that woman whose eyes are piercing your entire body like needles.

She's clapping too, and on her face is the same smile-smirk.

The spotlights disappear. The red curtain closes. And you exhale, carrying within you, somewhere deep in your body, that very spark. And the fire that started from that spark and turned that same spark into nothing.

---

You gasp for air and grip the edge of the dressing room vanity table with your hands. Someone else's lips on your neck are like tongues of flame and cold, sharp peaks at the same time. Thin, dark fingers with long nails gently brush your hair back. A bouquet of blood flowers that this woman gave you is lying around somewhere in the dressing room after the show. The dim light from the lamps dances bizarrely across the woman's face, making her look like something unnatural, illusory.

You swallow and exhale again, pressing your back against the tabletop. You reach for the human warmth and put your arms around the woman's back, running your hands over her bare, thin, slender waist.

"What is your name?"

You ask hoarsely between deep, shuddering breaths. The woman grins. She runs her hot, long tongue down your neck, leaving a thin trail of saliva. She looks up at you with her eyes, a thin scarlet streak. Then she straightens up a little and whispers in your ear, "Arlecchino"

Her answers are always like that - short and laconic. Always appropriate, even though you've only heard her answers a few times in your life.

Arlecchino spreads your legs with her knee, then smoothly lifts you by the waist and makes you sit on the countertop, pressing your back against the vanity mirror. The woman's hot hands fall on your hips and stroke them through the layers of your dress. You swallow and reach for another wet kiss, smearing the lipstick on Arlecchino's lips, mixing your lipstick with hers. Her tongue touches yours, and you shiver, feeling how wet you are becoming. Her hot, slender hands slide under your dress and touch your naked skin.

You break the kiss and throw your head back in pleasure, you painfully hit the cold mirror behind you with the top of your head, and Arlecchino removes one of her hands on your hips, and pulls this hand to your head, to the back of your head, to protect you from the unpleasant, cold pain.

You moan softly when someone else's lips touch your neck again. A hot tongue slides along your skin down to your collarbones. Arlecchino removes her hand from your hip and begins to feverishly quickly pull down the top of your dress, exposing your chest. When her hot mouth and hot tongue touch one of your nipples, you arch your back, breathing heavily and moaning with pleasure. If Harlequin hadn't protected the back of your head with her hand, you would have definitely broken the mirror.

The woman looks up at you, although she bends over because of her height. Her eyes burn with desire and anticipation when she sucks your nipple into her mouth again with her lips and makes a loud smack. You shudder again. You gently squeeze the other's breast, and your hand rests on her thigh.

The woman suddenly touches your breast in a certain place and hoarsely says: "What I like, I do not give. And if from this my hands become even more charred, then I will only enjoy it."

You suddenly understand where exactly this woman's hand is on your naked chest. Her hand is near the place where your flaming heart beats greedily. A crooked smile creeps onto your lips as you tremble with desire. You whisper with heat in your voice, looking at the blood-red streaks in the eyes of the woman in front of you:

"Well, then burn. Burn for me. Arlecchino.."

She thin lips opposite stretch into a hungry smile. You are kissed again, the tongue penetrating deep into your mouth. You respond to the kiss, clinging with your hands to the shoulders of Arlecchino.

You never really cared about the politics of other regions of Teyvat, too busy with your own problems. So you had no idea that this strange name "Arlecchino" had its own meaning, but you had a feeling that she was somehow connected with the fatui..

You were just thinking about how interesting this name was.

You will definitely understand everything much later: who this woman in front of you is, what she does, why her hands are so black, as if they were really charred. But maybe it's even for the best. Why prefaces and afterwords when the spark has already become a flame?

@anantaru @hitomisuzuya @lavandulawrites @himasgod @neuvigroove @quimichi @rsventhesecondd @anemoswirlsmyheart @nil4everheartz @kujiba @genshingorlsrevengeance @shyentsfoundherink @lavandulawrites @ashyashylee

[thesummerstorms]

The gingerwort truffle tea hits Rook a lot harder as soon as it has time to enter her blood stream. Around the time she starts humming some Marcher drinking song in Assan's direction, Davrin ends up cutting the picnic short and taking her back to the Lighthouse.

He's a little guilty, sure. He'd meant to give Rook an opportunity to relax, not to put her out of her mind with a hallucinogenic tea. Still, he can't help but laugh a little, especially as Rook keeps trying to have friendly conversations with Assan and the passing Crossroads spirits the whole way home. Her words are growing more slurred, though, so he's glad they don't accidentally stumble on any Venatori or Antaam on the way.

Lucanis walks in to the library just as Davrin is trying to get Arsinoë to settle down on the library couch. He's dressed for a trip - back to Treviso maybe, Bellara had made a comment about spices that morning- but as soon as he spots Arsinoë, his steps falter.

Crows are a paranoid bunch, so Davrin is ready for questioning. Rook and Lucanis are both professional assassins. He knew as soon as he realized what was happening that he'd probably have to talk someone down, reassure them of his intent.

In fact , the general plan had been to find either Neve or Lucanis, explain what happened and throw Rook at them, then find a seat where he would still be able to watch out for her and make sure there weren't complications, but where he was also well out of "clinging" range. Rook's arm had been thrown around his shoulder a little more closely than necessary on the walk back.

What Davrin is not prepared for is how Rook's eyes go wide when she sees Lucanis. The way she immediately stops trying to baby-talk Assan and grows pale and quiet. The crack in her voice when she blurts out- "Please don't tell Viago. Lucanis, please."

Davrin has seen frozen rivers warmer than the sensation that shoots down his spine. Rook's tone... This isn't some recruit embarrassed about being scolded. Her shoulders shake slightly beneath Davrin's hand. Assan lets out a little distressed chirp and rubs against her leg, but for once Arsinoë doesn't respond.

"I knew what was in the cup before I drank it, I promise. Don't tell Viago."

Lucanis's face has twisted up and, really, it isn't exactly a secret that he's sweet on Rook. Davrin is expecting to see his own horror mirrored back at him. A snarl, maybe, if anger draws Spite too close to the surface.

Instead Lucanis sighs. Not a flash of violet or a hostile glare thrown Davrin's way or a flinch away from Rook's pleading expression. Just a sigh.

Resignation, Davrin realizes.

Lucanis moves forward, crouching beside the sofa and ignoring Davrin entirely now as he speaks softly in Antivan. Davrin doesn't catch any of it except for "de Riva" but Rook is arguing back in the same language, so it doesn't seem to be having much effect. She keeps repeating herself - "por favor", he knows that one too- and if he were a betting man Davrin would put money on it being more or less the same refrain as what she said in Trade.

Rook leans forward earnestly, big grey eyes and too wide pupils. Lucanis asks her a question, his tone gone coaxing, and she shakes her head. Then he stands up and Rook puts her head in her hands.

"Hey, listen-" Davrin says tamping down the nervous twitch in his hand before he can reach before his sword. He steps in front of Lucanis instead, because whatever Rook is so worried about, he was the one who thought this whole mess would be a good idea. "Lucanis, it was just a tea. Rook's just having a bad reaction. Why does she keep asking –"

"Not now," Lucanis growls, gesturing with a short jut of his chin back in Rook's direction. "Ask later. Not now."

And okay, Davrin can understand that. If Arsinoë is this freaked out, no point in spooking her further. But he still doesn't understand why Lucanis is leaving, walking out the double doors of the main building and back out into the courtyard. Davrin trusts himself, sure, but Lucanis doesn't feel the same way, historically speaking. Yet he's walking away?

Arsinoë doesn't notice, all her earlier mirth evaporated like the morning dew. Assan is still making little worried squawks, looking back and forth from Rook to Davrin as if he has picked up on her distress and is demanding Davrin fix it.

Except Davrin doesn't know how because he still doesn't get why Arsinoë is so suddenly upset. He doesn't think it's just the tea, or surely she wouldn't have been so cheerful on the way back from Arlathan.

"This is some weird Crow shit, isn't it?" he says, mostly to himself since Arsinoë is too out of it to respond, "What the fuck." Then, he raises his voice a little. "Rook? You okay? Arsinoë."

At the sound of her name, her actual name, Arsinoë flinches.

What the fuck.

The doors creak open again. He hears the distinctive thunk of Neve's prosthetic against the stone floors followed by a sharp inhale as she catches sight of Arsinoë

"What's going on here?" Neve demands. Her reaction Davrin understands; immediately, she's at Rook's side, hands already starting to glow faintly with what is likely healing magic. "I thought you were headed to Arlathan. Was there trouble?"

"Not exactly," Davrin grimaces, watching as Rook (predictably) lifts her head a little at that last word, the one they all like to pretend he doesn't know Neve has taken to using as some sort of pet name for their glorious leader. Normally that would be his cue to take Assan and flee, but now he's just glad the Rook is reacting to something.

"Neve?" Rook asks, shifting in her seat, then gently pushing at Assan to make room for Neve to settle beside her. "Neve, you shouldn't drink the tea."

"The tea?" Neve asks, reaching up to brush a stray curl out of Arsinoë's face, "What tea?"

"Mmm. The tea. Ask Assan. My head is starting to hurt."

"Ask... Assan?" Predictably, Neve places the back of her hand against Arsinoë's forehead, a slight chill creeping into the air. Even more predictably, she looks back sharply at Davrin.

"Look, in my defense, Emmrich said it was fine. I drank the tea. I'm fine. But Rook..."

What Neve would have said to that, Davrin will never know because the doors open again. Lucanis strides in, too rushed to walk carefully and silence the clinking of his weapons. In his hands, he holds a clay pitcher and one of his own favorite cups, one of the ones from that fancy tea set.

Lucanis hesitates briefly, staring openly at the way Arsinoë pressing her face into Neve's hand, the way Neve is pulling Arsinoë closer, bracing her. His expression goes dark and yet when Neve catches his eye he nods, seeming... grateful?

Weird Crow shit.

"Arsinoë, you need to drink this. Hopefully it will help." Rook shudders against Neve, but Lucanis persists. "Viago is back in Treviso, I promise. He needs to know nothing, but you need water."

"Wait, Viago?" Neve asks, "The Fifth Talon? What does he have to do with this?"

"That's what I want to know," Davrin agrees. It's not like he ever though the Crows were great people, but it doesn't explain why Rook is reacting like this just from seeing Lucanis, why she keeps begging that no one tell the man who is supposed to be her mentor that she... what, accidentally been drugged? That doesn't seem like something a thirty year old assassin should be afraid of, much less to this extent.

Maybe it is the tea. It has to be the tea. Because why else would Rook be acting this way about Lucanis? Normally she's the first to reassure him, to seek him out and assure him that the demon shoved inside his skull doesn't scare her, but now she's refusing to take a cup because he poured it.

Lucanis looks wounded at that, brown eyes gone unreasonably soft and sad. Finally, he hands the cup off to Neve and unbuttons his Crow-purple cape, shrugging it off to the floor. Rook's shoulders slump a little at that, and Lucanis must take it as a sign because the next thing Davrin knows, the man is putting a hand on Rook's knee.

(It occurs to him again that maybe he shouldn't be here, but worry roots Davrin in his spot.)

"Rook, it's just water. I promise, cara. If Emmrich wants to give you a potion, I promise to check it first, but this is just water. I give you my word."

It's probably a sign of trust that despite the fact Rook gets somehow paler at the mention of "potions", ultimately she caves and lets Neve help her raise the cup to her lips. Lucanis reaches for the pitcher again, and she lets him pour more into the cup before her head slumps against Neve's shoulder.

For a moment, the three of them who are sober sit (or crouch or stand) locked in a moment of awkward silence. Arsinoë is never this touchy, at least not when Davrin's around. And even if it's different when she's in private with Neve and Lucanis, it doesn't make her behavior less strange.

"Lucanis," Neve asks finally, when Arsinoë seems to show no further reaction, "What is going on?"

"Rook is House de Riva," the Crow replies as if that answers everything somehow, then adds "They're famous for their poisons, at least since Viago became Talon."

"Esma too," Rook mutters from Neve's shoulder without opening her eyes.

"And the Talon before Viago had a knack for them as well," Lucanis agrees, hand back to hovering over Rook's knee as if he's still uncertain his touch will be welcome. "Though not as much as Viago."

"She said something about daily doses of venoms at the breakfast table," Neve remembers. She looks about as happy about that as Davrin feels.

It takes effort not to turn that discomfort back on Lucanis, but it wouldn't be fair to snap at the man when he's looking at Rook like that. "So what... Rook was more sensitive to the tea because she grew up being poisoned? Is this some kind of bad interaction or-"

"No." Lucanis replies, the reconsiders. "Well, some of it, maybe. But that's not why she was asking about Viago."

Davrin's hands twitch with the need to grab Lucanis's overly decorative lapels and demand a clearer answer, but Neve-

"She's afraid of being punished. Her teacher is a poisoner, and she let herself drink from a tainted cup."

Neve's voice quavers on the word punished, unable to hide entirely behind her normal stoicism, but her eyes are hard, with a glint like steel. Davrin just feels cold again as Lucanis nods in confirmation.

"Yes. Crow houses do not all train their Fledglings the same, but none of them tolerate stupid mistakes. If a de Riva found themselves so easily poisoned, without even checking, I would not doubt that the next cup from their seniors would be punishment and lesson both."

"Bastards," Davrin bites out, thinking of Uncle Eldrin and the berries. The cramps and hallucinations had been the lesson, not the preface for more punishment to come. Intense punishment, if Rook's reaction isn't just the heightened emotions caused by the tea.

Lucanis is still looking at Rook with those wounded eyes, still not-quite-touching, even though she seemed to relax when he shed the cape. But the resignation has crept back into his voice like a weight, and he only shrugs at Davrin's swearing.

"Thus is the life of a Crow. We can't afford to make mistakes. Our teachers know this."

"You won't do it twice," Arsinoë agrees, sound almost like she's quoting something. "Because you remember." Sitting up just enough to sip at the cup again, she still hesitates, eyes fluttering as she glances at Lucanis, waiting for his nod of reassurance before drinking.

Davrin's gut churns at the careless way she says it, at Lucanis's total acceptance.

(He was the one who poured her the tea. It was his idea to ask Emmrich about the truffles.)

"Well." Neve says. "I dare say we've all learned some things today. No need to tell Viago. Or anyone else."

"No," Lucanis agrees.

Rook gives a little sigh at that before her hand darts out to catch Lucanis's. "My head still hurts," she complains.

Davrin turns towards the staircase immediately, suddenly sure he wanted to be far, far away from all this. "I'll go find Emmrich. Assan-"

But the griffon had dropped into what Davrin recognizes as a guarding stance, as if set to protect an injured member of the flock. Well, for once Davrin has no compunctions about leaving the feather brain behind with the Crows. And Neve, of course.

"Assan can stay here as chaperone."

He takes the stairs two at a time, all but bolting towards Emmrich's study. The last glance back before he darts into Emmrich's hallway, he sees Neve helping Arsinoë pull Lucanis out of his crouch and towards the little two seater.

[seitmai]

Wow I just have many thoughts...

All you could do was offer a prayer to the Gods for him.  The next time you saw him, he was no longer a barbarian gladiator hailed from a distant land, but the new – and rightful – Emperor of Rome. His name was not Hanno, but Lucius Verus Aurelius, and he was the son of the recently passed Queen Lucilla, whom Rome still mourned. 

Seems like the prayers worked 🤭

You would have helped him disrobe too, already used to it from your days of serving Geta, but he chose to do so himself. He was not quite used to his every need being attended to, self-sufficiency deeply ingrained in his being. Mostly, he waved away other servants, leaving you instead to care for him personally. 

I feel like he would be overwhelmed with so many people there to help him, so he just keeps the bare minimum or rather the people he really want to have around him

Neither place felt like home, just the past and the present, and perhaps he was viewing things the same way. You could imagine, even understand, the bittersweetness of returning to a place one thought they might never see again. 

They probably share those feelings about home 🥺

He had the barest of smiles on his handsome face, but you could tell it was genuine. You felt one corner of your lips tugging upwards, but you looked away out of propriety. Even if you were in the same room, you were leagues apart, and it would do you no good to try to imagine otherwise.

Ahhh those shared glances 🥰

“Ovid, Sappho, Horace…” You became a little flustered as he raised his eyebrows. “My mother was a bit of a romantic.” “And you?” It was your turn to huff with amusement, looking down at your hands. “I don’t believe I inherited that trait, no.”

Oh he is probably so disappointed by that 🙈

The truth was that in a place such as Rome, love was quite hard to come by. You didn’t actively search for it, its ephemeral nature making you less inclined to, but you were no complete stranger to it. You’d never let it take root, though, for it was not something you could afford to have. 

Everyone deserves love though 🥺🫶🏻

“What about you, Dominus?” “Me?” he said. “I suppose… I’m not entirely sure anymore. I used to be, at one point.”

Let's find it again 😌

Your face heated up at the mere thought of it. “I could never be so bold…” “I insist,” he said, holding up a hand as you began to stammer again. “Perhaps only when it is just the two of us, if you’d prefer.” “I will certainly try my best,” you said with an awkward grin, trying to keep your composure. He chuckled. “Good enough for me.”

I'm just in love with this little conversation 😍

He enjoyed the mellifluous sound of your voice, so at odds with your serious expression when you were concentrating. To have him as your sole audience was already titillating,  but the fact that he paid close attention was even more of a rush.

To have someone listen to you and wanting to hear your thoughts is just such a great way to show love 🥹

During the day, you anxiously looked forward to those handful of hours in which everything else disappeared. No speak of Rome, politics, or bitter memories, content with being each other’s brief escape.

That's just so cute 🥰

Yet he never made you feel inferior, often encouraging you to share your thoughts and opinions with him despite your reticence. You would even dare to say he cared, or at least that’s what you wanted to believe.

🥹🥹🥹

He glanced over his shoulder at you as you silently trailed behind them, but you didn’t meet his gaze.

Not the glance over the shoulder 🥺

“Ah, perhaps in the future, when I have more time to worry about such things,” he said, politely noncommittal. “But I appreciate the offer.”

He said "yeah thanks, but no thanks" just more politely 😅🤭

Even so, it was clear he had not wanted you to be hurt, and you were very thankful for that. You offered him a small smile and some tension seemed to leave his shoulders.

He really made sure she knows his feeling about this meeting!!

On the wall behind, there was a recently completed fresco of a gladiator riding a chariot pulled by two horses. For another wall, he had commissioned a portrait of Vesta, goddess of the home and the hearth, but it was still a work in progress. He was particularly proud of that one, an unspoken gift for you, his muse.

A fresco for his past as a gladiator and one for the future his wants, his muse😉

“I hope I haven’t tired you too much,” he said, folding his hands behind his head and leaning back. “You can take the rest of the evening off from reading if you’d like, but I would still appreciate some company.” “Well, I still need to draw your bath and…” “Somebody else can take care of it,” he cut in with a shrug, not preoccupied. You hesitated. “What would you have me do instead, then?” “Just sit back down, relax for a moment,” he said, getting up. “Here, you can have my chair. Much more comfortable.”

Urgh im swooning, he just wants her to relax and take care of her 🥰🥹

You froze as his face hovered mere inches away from yours, his breath fanning over your cupid’s bow. Delicately, he removed a stray eyelash that had been resting on your cheekbone, and he pulled back a little so you could see it on the pad of his finger. “Make a wish,” he said.

All you could do was stare at him for another breathless moment that seemed to stretch on infinitely. You licked your lips nervously, drawing his eyes there before they returned to hold your gaze. Your heart was like a nervous bird fluttering wildly in your ribcage. Your mind was mostly blank, but the one thought that popped up was ‘I wish he would close the distance right now.’

Valid reaction

“Lucius,” he pleaded, loathing the title. “Say it, please.”

The pleading 😮‍💨🥰

“Lucius,” you said finally, though your eyes still spelled defiance when you glanced at him. “Is it not obvious? We both know it’s impossible.” Your lower lip trembled slightly. “I have a heart, too, you know? I don’t want it to be broken.” “I know that, of course I know that!” He said, placing his hands on your shoulders and crouching in front of you. “I have no intention of breaking your heart.”

😭😭😭

“I do not care for such things. I would never demand them of you. Even if we cannot marry, I will not marry anyone else that isn’t you,” he said with a firm, determined shake of his head. “But I can still give you my name, along with your freedom. That’s all that matters to me.”

Urgh I just love that you can truly feel how he means it 🥹🥰

“I have been thinking of nothing else since I met you. I’ve already made the arrangements… I suppose I just didn’t want to ruin the surprise.” “You honor me,” you said, smiling despite the tears. “You always have.” “Why shouldn’t I?” He asked. “You have given me more than you think. You brought me the peace I have been so desperately seeking for a long time.”

🥰🥰🥰

“I-I don’t even know how to thank you.” You placed a hand over his. “If you desire to give me your name, then I shall give you mine in return.” You told him your name, the real one, which you had been hiding ever since your Roman name was given to you. He had never asked you for it, knowing that one’s name was the only thing one could truly own in this world. And now for you to give it freely… He repeated it, testing its shape on his tongue, and smiled radiantly.

I'm crying this is just so good 😭🥰

You knew by the disarming earnestness in his eyes he wasn’t just offering the name, but himself, as well. His whole heart in the palm of your hand, should you choose to care for it. You felt as if you had already made that choice a while ago, when you first recited Virgil back to him.

They shared their names to now entrust each other's hearts 💕

“I will,” you said with an elated chuckle. “Of course I will.” He took your hands in his, kissing both of them. “Then first thing tomorrow, we will make it official.”

He is just so excited for her, especially because he has thought about it for a while🥹

You leaned your forehead against his, your noses brushing as he tilted his head back. This time, it was you who brought your lips to his with a tentative sort of tenderness, propriety still at the back of your mind. He responded in kind, letting you set the pace so as not to scare you off. If you weren’t shaking so much, you might have noticed he was shaking, too.

 both if them shaking just shows how emotional and meaningful it is for the both of them 🥹🥰

Perhaps you had inherited the romanticism, after all. 

🥰🥰🥰

The air smelled of night-blooming jasmine, the fresh sweetness of it bringing you a sense of tranquility. You leaned against the windowsill, looking up at the stars and trying to piece together constellations. The world seemed drastically different now that you had your freedom, so vivid, so open, so alive. You even noticed it in your posture and the lightness with which you walked, as if you were floating. Lucius had said you were radiant with it.

I love that he not only noticed it but also adressed her new aura 🥰

He’d insisted on taking care of you the same way you’d cared for him, eager to show you his gratitude. You had been hesitant at first, but at his unwavering conviction, you relented, curious how it might feel to be spoiled. All that day, he had served you reverently, taking time off from his duties to focus solely on you.

You shook your head, desire making you a little more brave. “I… I would love some help undressing, though.” His spine straightened, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. “With pleasure.”

Ahhhh it's happening!!

He crouched to slowly pull the hem of your long tunic upwards, rising with it. You lifted your arms so he could get it over your head, the fabric falling to the floor unceremoniously. Your eyes were fixed on his face, drinking in his expression as he took a step back to get a better look at you. The bare expanse of your skin robbed him of breath, his eyes roaming over every curve and plane of your figure. He wanted to sink to his knees again and lay his forehead at your feet in worship, but he stood still, his fingers twitching at his sides. “Have I told you enough times that you are beautiful?” He said. “I don’t think it has been enough.”

Oh, he is so ready to worship her even if it's just laying at her feet

You nodded, silently granting him permission. He leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on your lips before standing up. He took it upon himself to bathe you, starting out by scrubbing your scalp. You leaned into his touch, eyes closing in bliss. He smiled at your soft, pleasured hum, and vowed to elicit as many more as he could. 

I've had a head massage before, so I get it 😌

His eyes fell to your lips, slightly parted with want. He grasped your chin with his free hand, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip. “I have been thinking about this for a long time,” he said, leaning in to brush his nose against yours. “But I hadn’t wanted to touch you until now, when you actually felt like you had a choice in the matter.”

This is just one of those key elements in this story that I love so much!! Him giving her his name, showing how much he values her and giving her time and space to truly make up her own mind if she wants this, it's just perfection 🥰👏🏻

You clutched his wrist tighter, his thoughtfulness only making you want him more. All those hours he must have spent yearning, unaware that you were stuck thinking of him too. As emperor, he had the right to take whatever he wanted, but having previously been a gladiator, he understood the monumental importance of bodily autonomy. Very few people in Rome had such a privilege and he couldn’t bear the thought of being the one to rob you of it. 

A truly good man ❤️‍🩹🥹

Gently, he set you down on the bed and pulled away to remove his tunic. This time, you were not meek about his nakedness. You brazenly stared at him, eyes mapping out the lines of his muscles, the pink, raised skin of his scars, and the soft trail of hair on his abdomen that seemed to suggestively point downwards. 

A sight to be seen, I'm sure 🤭

He kissed you again, and again, and again. You were so close to him that the lines of your bodies became indivisible, but it still didn’t seem like enough.

🥰🥰🥰

Neither of you lasted very long, but it didn’t matter, as you were nowhere near spent. Lucius, still in the afterglow of his orgasm, lazily began to kiss you all over, wanting to discover every mole and freckle, every tender spot that made you squirm, and every other little detail that made you you. 

Aww rats just so cute, I love tender little moments like that (especially after some other things happening before 🤭)

After, you lied side by side, facing each other. You’d still not had your fill of him, but you needed to gather your strength for the long night ahead. You shared a breathy chuckle, as if still in disbelief it had finally happened, and he kissed your sweat-slick forehead.

I'm a true sucker for post-sex laughter and giggles shared together 🥰

He was just as grateful to have found you, his peace, his solace, the woman who would always guard his heart. He murmured your name reverently, a reminder that you were his, and he was yours.

I just loved this so so much 🥹🥰👏🏻

Imperator

Also on AO3

Pairing: Lucius Verus Aurelius x Fem!Reader

WC: 6.7k words

Summary: Once, you only had the memory of the curious barbarian poet, entertaining guests at a party with both violence and verse. But it's not until you see him again, now as emperor, that you get to know the man underneath the titles.

Warnings: Minors DNI this fic is 18+, power imbalance (emperor/servant to freedwoman), mutual pining, slow-ish burn, sort of forbidden love?, lots and lots of fluff good lord, some jealousy, some angst, lovey dovey smut, unprotected p in v, oral (f receiving), maybe some historical inaccuracies lol (I care a lot okay), and iii think that's it but lmk if anything else!

--------------

"Love will enter cloaked in friendship's name."

– Ovid.

-------------

“The gates of hell are open night and day. Smooth the descent, and easy is the way. But to return, and view the cheerful skies, In this the task and mighty labor lies.”

That was the first time you had ever heard him speak, the deep timbre of his voice riddled with contempt. Moments before, he had killed another gladiator, his blood spattered on him like a gruesome adornment. But there was no savagery in his fierce eyes, no mere bloodthirst in the sneer directed at Emperor Geta, your Dominus. His glare was even, like a cold, blue flame that promised not just violence, but retribution as well.

You’d recognized the poem immediately, just as taken aback as everyone else. Nobody moved, the room’s collective breath held in anticipation of the inevitable repercussions of such an offense. Emperor Geta made the slightest move to raise his sword and you gripped the decanter of wine tighter, but your face remained impassive.

“Virgil,” supplied Macrinus, trying to placate him with a broad smile. “He was taught poetry just to amuse you, Imperators.”

There was another momentary pause in which neither twin was sure if they should believe him. But then, Caracalla snorted, standing up to clap the taller man’s shoulder.

“A poet,” He said, laughing. “That’s genius, Macrinus.”

“Yes, certainly very amusing,” Geta said begrudgingly, his jaw clenched. 

He and the gladiator had not stopped staring at each other for one moment, like two vipers poised to strike. 

“Good, I thought you’d like that,” Macrinus said, approaching his fighter to grasp his shoulder, perhaps in warning. “We live to serve you both.”

“Well, I look forward to seeing your poet at the upcoming games in the Colosseum,” he spits out, throwing the sword aside with a loud clatter. “Let’s see how his verses work for him then.”

Macrinus nodded at his steward to take the gladiator away. He was smiling, seemingly amused, as the steward approached him. As he was being shoved back to the atrium, his eyes took one last baleful look around the room. For the briefest second, you thought his eyes met yours, striking you like a piercing arrow, but then he was gone. 

You had no time to dwell on it though, as Emperor Geta returned to his seat and raised his glass to be refilled. But that didn’t mean you would forget so easily, even if your paths might never cross again. All you could do was offer a prayer to the Gods for him. 

—--------------------------

The next time you saw him, he was no longer a barbarian gladiator hailed from a distant land, but the new – and rightful – Emperor of Rome. His name was not Hanno, but Lucius Verus Aurelius, and he was the son of the recently passed Queen Lucilla, whom Rome still mourned. 

He was not cruel like the twins had been, rarely raising his voice, much less his hand. His demeanor was usually calm, but sometimes he stalked the halls restlessly, as if unsure what he should be doing. He still rose with the sun and trained for a couple of hours in the morning, already used to the routine he’d had as a gladiator, but after that, it was all politics. Endless scrolls of parchment to pore over, meetings to hold with the senate, and lending a patient ear to the populace’s needs. The weight of an empire was on his shoulders, and yet he didn’t bow under it. 

During the day, you served his wine and silently hovered around for anything else he might need. At night, you drew his baths, kept his torches lit, and prepared his bed. You would have helped him disrobe too, already used to it from your days of serving Geta, but he chose to do so himself. He was not quite used to his every need being attended to, self-sufficiency deeply ingrained in his being. Mostly, he waved away other servants, leaving you instead to care for him personally. 

There were times when you caught him looking at you as if you seemed vaguely familiar, a furrow in his brow when he couldn’t place you. You couldn’t fault him for not remembering you from Senator Thraex’s party, but there was a certain thrill at having piqued his curiosity regardless. Still, you kept your head down and offered no hints, as was your place. 

Until one night, while he watched you add aromatic oils and test the bath’s temperature, he finally asked the question that had been on his mind for days.

“What is your name?”

You were startled at first, not having expected him to address you at all. You told him your given Roman name, Domicia, and bowed your head respectfully. He pushed himself off the doorway and stepped into the bathroom, humming thoughtfully.

“Of the home,” he said, referring to the name’s meaning. “Are you Roman? Is that your real name?”

You shook your head in answer to both questions. “I have been in Rome for many years now, though.”

“I have not,” he said, a note of melancholy in his voice. “Yet I grew up here, in these very halls…”

He trailed off, looking around absently, lost in his memories. You could not begin to imagine what he had been through, what he had seen. You had heard of his being sent away as a child, with absolutely no choice in the matter, and could empathize with him. 

All you had ever known was a humble life in your native country, until you were stripped of your freedom and brought to the capital of Rome. Neither place felt like home, just the past and the present, and perhaps he was viewing things the same way. You could imagine, even understand, the bittersweetness of returning to a place one thought they might never see again. 

“We are honored and grateful to have you back, Dominus,” you said. “I hope things have been to your satisfaction.”

“I have no complaints,” he said, yet he sighed. “Though becoming accustomed to being here, in my current position, is going to take some more time.”

“If there is anything I can do to make it easier for you, please let me know.”

He inclined his head gratefully, your eyes meeting for a moment. “Thank you, Domicia.”

He had the barest of smiles on his handsome face, but you could tell it was genuine. You felt one corner of your lips tugging upwards, but you looked away out of propriety. Even if you were in the same room, you were leagues apart, and it would do you no good to try to imagine otherwise.

You stood up, grabbing the decanter from a nearby table to have it refilled. “Your bath is ready now. Would you like refreshments other than wine?”

He nodded and you bowed, making your way out. By the time you returned with more wine and a platter of olives, bread, and cheese, he was already in the bathtub, leaning back with his eyes closed. Your feet padded softly on the mosaic floor to avoid  disturbing him, and you left his refreshments on the table near the tub.

You settled at one side of the room just in case he might need anything, staring off into the middle distance and letting your mind drift. He glanced at you sidelong, his curiosity having only grown after your brief conversation. He still had that nagging feeling that he had seen you somewhere before, but he didn’t want to ask outright.

You felt his gaze on you but pretended not to, keeping your eyes averted. You thought again of the poem he’d recited, how different his demeanor had been then. You wondered what other verses he’d been taught, and if you might ever hear him recite anything again. He had a voice for poetry, somehow turning the words into a sort of enchantment, keeping one entranced.

“Doesn’t it feel… strange sometimes?” he said suddenly, staring up at the ceiling. “When things settle and you realize how far you have come? How much you’ve had to sacrifice for it?”

You hummed in agreement, waiting for him to say more. 

“Sometimes, I even wonder if it was all worth it.”

Still lost in a haze of verses, you spoke before you could even think it through.

“Fortunate is he whose mind has the power to probe the causes of things and trample underfoot all terrors and inexorable fate.”

He sat up, surprised. “You know Virgil.” Recognition finally dawned on him. “You were at that party, weren’t you?”

You nodded. “Your words then were just as sharp as your blade.”

He huffed, leaning against the edge of the tub as he remembered his barely contained hatred. “Were you taught poetry to amuse, as well?”

“No, I used to read it with my mother when I was younger.”

“Who else have you read?”

“Ovid, Sappho, Horace…” You became a little flustered as he raised his eyebrows. “My mother was a bit of a romantic.”

“And you?”

It was your turn to huff with amusement, looking down at your hands. “I don’t believe I inherited that trait, no.”

The truth was that in a place such as Rome, love was quite hard to come by. You didn’t actively search for it, its ephemeral nature making you less inclined to, but you were no complete stranger to it. You’d never let it take root, though, for it was not something you could afford to have. 

“What about you, Dominus?”

“Me?” he said. “I suppose… I’m not entirely sure anymore. I used to be, at one point.”

His haunted expression told you not to press him for details, so you just nodded sympathetically. The two of you lapsed into silence, the weight of tragedy hanging between you. You’d had a lot more time to become numb to your circumstances, but it was clear the pain he was experiencing was still fresh. 

“I will be forced to remarry eventually.” He sighed heavily. “Produce heirs to carry out the lineage, show Rome a unified front.”

“Well, whoever you marry shall be the most fortunate woman in the empire.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle, looking over at you. “You really believe so? You’re not just flattering me?”

“Of course,” you said, giving him a cryptic smile that made him laugh again. “I’m perfectly serious.”

“Oh, I am sure you are.”

After some time, he rose with a small splash, prompting you to immediately approach with an outstretched towel. His nudity barely registered in your mind, having already glimpsed him a few times. You wouldn’t dare to look at him directly, even if you were more than a little curious. You tensed as his fingers barely brushed yours in the exchange, but you quickly stepped back to give him more room.

He wrapped the towel around his waist, water dripping down his sculpted arms and chest. You went to start tidying up, studiously keeping your eyes on your task. He watched as you picked up the refreshments to take to the main chamber, a part of him wishing you would look at him instead. 

“One more thing,” he said and you immediately turned around. “Please, I want you to call me Lucius.”

Your face heated up at the mere thought of it. “I could never be so bold…”

“I insist,” he said, holding up a hand as you began to stammer again. “Perhaps only when it is just the two of us, if you’d prefer.”

“I will certainly try my best,” you said with an awkward grin, trying to keep your composure.

He chuckled. “Good enough for me.”

—-----------------

Weeks passed, and while Lucius still hadn’t managed to get you to call him by name, he had certainly gotten you to open up more. In the evenings, the two of you swapped more poetry, often sharing your own interpretations of the verses. At some point, he even had scrolls fetched from the library for you to read to him. He enjoyed the mellifluous sound of your voice, so at odds with your serious expression when you were concentrating. To have him as your sole audience was already titillating,  but the fact that he paid close attention was even more of a rush.

During the day, you anxiously looked forward to those handful of hours in which everything else disappeared. No speak of Rome, politics, or bitter memories, content with being each other’s brief escape. You still held yourself at a certain distance, though, always aware of the chasm between you. Yet he never made you feel inferior, often encouraging you to share your thoughts and opinions with him despite your reticence. You would even dare to say he cared, or at least that’s what you wanted to believe.

You wouldn’t necessarily say you were getting attached, for that would be too unrealistic of a fantasy, but you could not deny the butterflies in your stomach that often appeared while around him. His easy, handsome smile, the kindness in his eyes, his patient indulgence when listening to you, and the effort he put into making you laugh…

But the spell was abruptly broken the day he received a visit from his friend Ravi, who had brought someone for him to meet – a respectable Roman lady. A widow, as it happened, just like Lucius. Her hair was perfectly styled, falling in ringlets that framed her lovely face. She wore a lavender-colored dress with a matching veil, much fancier than anything you’d ever owned, and was adorned with golden jewelry. More importantly, she was freeborn, and thus a perfectly good candidate for marriage.

You swallowed hard, otherwise keeping your expression neutral. You hadn’t thought he would start meeting potential brides so soon, and you certainly hadn’t expected how it would make you feel. At least, Lucius also seemed surprised, not expecting his friend to try to set him up without consulting him first. Still, he assumed the role of gracious host and welcomed them warmly, leading them out to the gardens. He glanced over his shoulder at you as you silently trailed behind them, but you didn’t meet his gaze.

The three of them reclined on the couches of the outdoor dining area, shaded by a wooden pergola. It was a beautiful sunny day, the birds singing accompanied by the gurgle of the large fountain at the center of the garden. A gentle breeze stirred the foliage, carrying the faint, sweet smell of a dozen different flowers. 

You served them wine and hovered close by as another servant brought them food to snack on. Lucius had deliberately sat across from where you stood just so he could keep an eye on you. You’d withdrawn into yourself, trying your hardest to remain indifferent instead of worrying about whether the meeting went well or not. If it did, then you had to be happy for him, but if it didn’t… Well, at least that would buy you a little more time, if nothing else.

“Such a lovely garden,” the lady, Ilaria, said as she looked around. “One could never tire of such a view.”

Lucius nodded absently but said nothing, as if he hadn’t heard her.

“I could see you fitting in perfectly with all the other flowers here,” Ravi cut in, smiling with as much charm as he could muster to make up for it.

Ilaria inclined her head, modestly waving off the compliment. “Oh, you flatter me, Ravi.”

He gave Lucius a subtle, pointed look to encourage him to follow his lead. Lucius sat up and cleared his throat, only just focusing on the conversation. He had been trying to get your attention as subtly as possible, but he hadn’t been successful. 

“Er, yes, it’s always a treat to spend time out here. Certainly helps to clear the mind.”

Ravi shook his head a little and tried not to snort with amusement, thinking he was a lost case. Ilaria smiled, unbothered, taking a handful of grapes from a platter and popping one into her mouth. 

“I’d wager there is much on your plate, Imperator,” she said. “And having to manage the household staff on top of everything else… Must be a little overwhelming for you, no?”

“Well, I am a very busy man, yes, but it hasn’t been all that bad,” Lucius said. “I’ve certainly had a great deal of support to see me through.”

His words managed to reach you, softening you up infinitesimally. This time, when he glanced at you, you finally looked back. The ghost of a smile was on your face, but you quickly looked away before it could actually manifest.

“I see. Well, I’m very glad to hear that,” Ilaria said, sharing a curious glance with Ravi, who looked slightly apologetic. “Though perhaps you have considered that having someone run the house for you would take a big burden off your shoulders. I would be more than happy to lend a hand if you’d consider it.”

His eyebrows raised slightly at her boldness, not missing the eagerness in her gaze, poorly concealed behind her innocently helpful demeanor. He certainly did not want to get her hopes up, but he smiled graciously to soften the blow.

“Ah, perhaps in the future, when I have more time to worry about such things,” he said, politely noncommittal. “But I appreciate the offer.”

Her smile wavered and then froze, not wanting to seem too disappointed. “Of course, Imperator.”

For the remainder of their visit, Lucius let them do most of the talking, any remarks he made were studiously polite and yet still a little aloof. Finally, after a few hours, he excused himself, needing to return to his duties. Ravi seemed hesitant, like he wanted to stay behind and speak to him privately, but he would have to wait for another day. He escorted them both out, thanking them for visiting, but he did not exactly invite Ilaria to return to the palace. Her disappointment was more palpable then, but she hid it with as much grace as she could muster.

When they were gone, he turned to you with a shake of his head and a sigh, grinning with bewilderment.

“I do not enjoy being ambushed,” he said as if he felt the need to explain himself. “Decent enough as she seemed.”

You bowed your head in agreement, more relieved than you would like to admit. You had no real reason to have been upset earlier, given that there was nothing between you except for a certain kinship. Even so, it was clear he had not wanted you to be hurt, and you were very thankful for that. You offered him a small smile and some tension seemed to leave his shoulders.

He inclined his head towards the eastern hallway leading to his study. “Come, I would like you to read some documents to me. I can get work done faster that way.”

The tablinum was spacious but cozy, with a door to one side that led to a smaller patio. Before, the twin emperors had never used the room, but now it seemed well lived in. There was a mess of scrolls and wax tablets all over his desk that he still hadn’t let you organize. On the wall behind, there was a recently completed fresco of a gladiator riding a chariot pulled by two horses. For another wall, he had commissioned a portrait of Vesta, goddess of the home and the hearth, but it was still a work in progress. He was particularly proud of that one, an unspoken gift for you, his muse.

You lit the oil lamps in their alcoves, bathing the room in warm light. Lucius sat at his desk with a heavy exhale and scanned his notes to remember where he had left off the previous day. You sat on a stool beside him, unfurling the scroll he handed you and resting it on your knees. The texts you read didn’t always make sense to you, but you understood their importance. The fact that he was entrusting you with such work was an honor you did not take for granted.

“Start in that middle section. There is some stuff I would like to revisit,” he said, taking up his stylus. 

You nodded, finding what he was referring to and starting right away. You read to him for the next couple of hours, only stopping if he needed you to repeat something or in case he needed more time to make his notes. A few times during the latter, you glanced up to take in the focused furrow of his brow, a muscle in his jaw ticking as he pondered. You wondered what he might be thinking about, wishing he would impart some more knowledge on you. 

Outside, the sun was beginning to set, shadows deepening in the corners of the room. Another servant brought him dinner, but he didn’t seem too hungry yet. He handed you his cup of water when he heard you clear your throat a few times, insisting when you were reluctant to take it. 

When he was done for the day, he stretched his arms over his head with a groan and slumped in his seat. You neatly rolled the parchment back up and stood so you could stretch your legs. 

“I hope I haven’t tired you too much,” he said, folding his hands behind his head and leaning back. “You can take the rest of the evening off from reading if you’d like, but I would still appreciate some company.”

“Well, I still need to draw your bath and…”

“Somebody else can take care of it,” he cut in with a shrug, not preoccupied.

You hesitated. “What would you have me do instead, then?”

“Just sit back down, relax for a moment,” he said, getting up. “Here, you can have my chair. Much more comfortable.”

You were about to protest, but he gave you a look that said it was not up for discussion. You pursed your lips, uncomfortable at the idea of being idle, especially while taking up his seat. Still, you obeyed and sat down, hands folded on your lap. Feeling a little bold, you looked at him as if to say ‘satisfied?’ and he huffed in amusement.

“Wait, stay still,” he murmured suddenly, leaning down.

You froze as his face hovered mere inches away from yours, his breath fanning over your cupid’s bow. Delicately, he removed a stray eyelash that had been resting on your cheekbone, and he pulled back a little so you could see it on the pad of his finger.

“Make a wish,” he said.

All you could do was stare at him for another breathless moment that seemed to stretch on infinitely. You licked your lips nervously, drawing his eyes there before they returned to hold your gaze. Your heart was like a nervous bird fluttering wildly in your ribcage. Your mind was mostly blank, but the one thought that popped up was ‘I wish he would close the distance right now.’

You gently blew the eyelash away, your wish scattering into the air alongside it. The Gods must have decided to grant it immediately, for he did not pull away, instead slowly leaning in. His lips brushed yours tentatively and you closed your eyes, rejoicing for the barest second before you forced your face to turn away.

“We shouldn’t…” you murmured, the words hard to utter when a desperate want clung to your throat like honey.

“Why not?” He whispered.

“It’s not– I’m not…” You vaguely gestured towards yourself, unsure of what the right words were. 

He pulled back to look at you better. “Was I too presumptuous?”

You shook your head. “Not at all.”

“Then what is it?” He pressed.

“Dominus, please.”

“Lucius,” he pleaded, loathing the title. “Say it, please.”

“Lucius,” you said finally, though your eyes still spelled defiance when you glanced at him. “Is it not obvious? We both know it’s impossible.” Your lower lip trembled slightly. “I have a heart, too, you know? I don’t want it to be broken.”

“I know that, of course I know that!” He said, placing his hands on your shoulders and crouching in front of you. “I have no intention of breaking your heart.”

“Surely you understand where I am coming from, though.” You sniffed, keeping tears at bay. “I am not wife material, like the lady Ilaria. I have nothing to offer, no dowry, no family name, or even an inkling of Patrician blood. ”

“I do not care for such things. I would never demand them of you. Even if we cannot marry, I will not marry anyone else that isn’t you,” he said with a firm, determined shake of his head. “But I can still give you my name, along with your freedom. That’s all that matters to me.”

You gasped, the shock of his words akin to a bucket of ice water being dumped over you. Now you let the tears spill over, like a dam had finally burst. He kissed them away, his hands cupping your face gently.

“I have been thinking of nothing else since I met you. I’ve already made the arrangements… I suppose I just didn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

“You honor me,” you said, smiling despite the tears. “You always have.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” He asked. “You have given me more than you think. You brought me the peace I have been so desperately seeking for a long time.”

“I-I don’t even know how to thank you.” You placed a hand over his. “If you desire to give me your name, then I shall give you mine in return.”

You told him your name, the real one, which you had been hiding ever since your Roman name was given to you. He had never asked you for it, knowing that one’s name was the only thing one could truly own in this world. And now for you to give it freely… He repeated it, testing its shape on his tongue, and smiled radiantly.

“Pairs rather well with Lucia Veria, if I do say so myself,” he said with a proud chuckle, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “If you’ll have it, that is.”

You knew by the disarming earnestness in his eyes he wasn’t just offering the name, but himself, as well. His whole heart in the palm of your hand, should you choose to care for it. You felt as if you had already made that choice a while ago, when you first recited Virgil back to him.

“I will,” you said with an elated chuckle. “Of course I will.”

He took your hands in his, kissing both of them. “Then first thing tomorrow, we will make it official.”

More tears flowed as a result of an overwhelming rush of both gratitude and love. You had tried to ignore your feelings, not uprooting them but instead silently letting them grow unacknowledged. For once, it had seemed worth the risk of heartbreak. After all, the love hadn’t stemmed from something as fleeting as lust, but a mutual understanding and respect. It was more than you could ever ask for, and yet everything you desired.

You leaned your forehead against his, your noses brushing as he tilted his head back. This time, it was you who brought your lips to his with a tentative sort of tenderness, propriety still at the back of your mind. He responded in kind, letting you set the pace so as not to scare you off. If you weren’t shaking so much, you might have noticed he was shaking, too. 

In that kiss, there was the promise of mutual devotion, sweet and sincere. You were still holding each other’s hands, as if afraid you might drift apart if you let go. You understood then why odes were written about this feeling, as all-consuming as the churning waves of the sea. All those verses had never resonated with you more. 

Perhaps you had inherited the romanticism, after all. 

—------------------

The air smelled of night-blooming jasmine, the fresh sweetness of it bringing you a sense of tranquility. You leaned against the windowsill, looking up at the stars and trying to piece together constellations. The world seemed drastically different now that you had your freedom, so vivid, so open, so alive. You even noticed it in your posture and the lightness with which you walked, as if you were floating. Lucius had said you were radiant with it.

He’d insisted on taking care of you the same way you’d cared for him, eager to show you his gratitude. You had been hesitant at first, but at his unwavering conviction, you relented, curious how it might feel to be spoiled. All that day, he had served you reverently, taking time off from his duties to focus solely on you.

You couldn’t help getting flustered at all the attention, his ardent gaze like a caress every time it met yours. His touch had so far been entirely chaste, but even the smallest, most innocuous contact was heightened with anticipation. The brush of his fingers over yours when he handed you something, a guiding hand on your lower back, even a touch on your shoulder to make you aware of his presence.

There were a few sneaked kisses in both the garden and the tablinum, each one of them leaving an undercurrent of warmth under your skin that promised more. It was like a slow, drawn-out game of chase, neither of you in a rush to reach its conclusion. If anything, it only made you want each other more. 

After the sun had set, when the two of you drifted along as if in a drunken stupor, Lucius went to prepare a bath for you in his chambers. You were nervous and exhilarated, every moment spent waiting for him to be done an exquisite agony. Until finally, he poked his head around the bathroom door.

“It’s ready now,” he said, beckoning you with a smile.

You followed him into the bathroom, hands wringing anxiously. Flower petals were scattered on the mosaic floor, leading towards the steaming tub. Flickering candles bathed the room in a warm glow, making your shadows dance on the wall. You looked at each other, both knowing what the next step was but hesitant to initiate it. He averted his gaze first, gesturing towards the door.

“Would you like me to give you some privacy?”

You shook your head, desire making you a little more brave. “I… I would love some help undressing, though.”

His spine straightened, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. “With pleasure.”

He crouched to slowly pull the hem of your long tunic upwards, rising with it. You lifted your arms so he could get it over your head, the fabric falling to the floor unceremoniously. Your eyes were fixed on his face, drinking in his expression as he took a step back to get a better look at you. The bare expanse of your skin robbed him of breath, his eyes roaming over every curve and plane of your figure. He wanted to sink to his knees again and lay his forehead at your feet in worship, but he stood still, his fingers twitching at his sides.

“The evening star is the most beautiful of all stars,”  he said in a low voice, quoting Sappho.

Warmth spread from your chest to your face, and you smiled coyly as another verse came to mind. “Come to me once more, and abate my torment…”

You offered him your hand, which he took, and he led you to the tub. You daintily stepped in, sighing contentedly as you sank into the water’s enveloping warmth. He knelt next to the tub, leaning against it with one arm propped on the edge. 

“Have I told you enough times that you are beautiful?” He said. “I don’t think it has been enough.”

You huffed with amusement, looking down as you fought a geeky grin. “Well, about a hundred times with just your eyes. A few times out loud, though.”

He chuckled. “I suppose I’ll have to show you in other ways, too… If I may.”

You nodded, silently granting him permission. He leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on your lips before standing up. He took it upon himself to bathe you, starting out by scrubbing your scalp. You leaned into his touch, eyes closing in bliss. He smiled at your soft, pleasured hum, and vowed to elicit as many more as he could. 

Things took on an almost ritualistic quality, with him focused entirely on his task. You were loose limbed, letting him move you about as he used a cloth to scrub your skin. He didn’t try anything that might be deemed unsavory, though you let his tender, reverential touch reach places no one had touched in a very, very long time. But he didn’t linger, to your slight frustration, not wanting to jump into things too quickly. The flames of your desire were stoked slowly, warmth running through you like sweet wine. 

When he was done, he helped you step out of the tub and immediately got to drying you off with a towel. You caught his eye for a moment, his pupils blown wide with equally fervent desire. You stopped yourself from clutching his arm, wanting to anchor yourself to him, but he could still tell you were growing restless. He kissed your shoulder, tapping the tip of your nose playfully with his finger.

“Not done quite yet,” he murmured, not missing the way you involuntarily pressed your thighs together. “You’ve always been very patient.”

“For the first time, I fear it might be running thin…” you said, to which he smiled. 

He grabbed a small glass bottle of rose oil and lathered some in his hands. He anointed your body with it, the heady scent of one of Venus’s favorite flowers permeating the air. As he reached your chest, you took hold of his wrist and brought his palm to rest over your heart. He felt it beating rapidly, your chest rising and falling with each panting breath.

His eyes fell to your lips, slightly parted with want. He grasped your chin with his free hand, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip.

“I have been thinking about this for a long time,” he said, leaning in to brush his nose against yours. “But I hadn’t wanted to touch you until now, when you actually felt like you had a choice in the matter.”

You clutched his wrist tighter, his thoughtfulness only making you want him more. All those hours he must have spent yearning, unaware that you were stuck thinking of him too. As emperor, he had the right to take whatever he wanted, but having previously been a gladiator, he understood the monumental importance of bodily autonomy. Very few people in Rome had such a privilege and he couldn’t bear the thought of being the one to rob you of it. 

You kissed him in response, much fiercer, hungrier, than all the other kisses you had shared so far. A desperate sound escaped his throat and he clasped you against him tightly. Swiftly, he scooped you up into his strong arms and carried you out to the bedchamber as he would a bride.

Gently, he set you down on the bed and pulled away to remove his tunic. This time, you were not meek about his nakedness. You brazenly stared at him, eyes mapping out the lines of his muscles, the pink, raised skin of his scars, and the soft trail of hair on his abdomen that seemed to suggestively point downwards. 

His shoulders were squared with pride at your ogling, a sly smile on his face. He’d had an inkling before of your attraction, but to see it on full display was narcotic, and he felt himself pulse with an aching need.

“Come closer,” you said softly.

He did, climbing over you, his warmth immediately enveloping you. You hid your face on the junction between his neck and shoulder, embarrassed at all the thoughts rushing through your mind.

“What is it?” He asked, raising an eyebrow with amusement.

“Nothing,” you said, voice muffled against his skin. “I just… I do not think you realize how badly I wanted this, too. I-I don’t want to ever stop.”

He chuckled indulgently, nudging your head so you’d look at him. “Neither do I.”

He kissed you again, and again, and again. You were so close to him that the lines of your bodies became indivisible, but it still didn’t seem like enough. Your knees hiked up to his hips in a silent plea, but he did not give in quite yet, wanting to prolong things for as long as he could.

Still, unable to resist a little bit of mutual torment, he slid upwards until his hips were aligned with yours. You gasped as you felt the velvety underside of his erection against your slick folds, each small movement making you tremble. Your brows furrowed and your lips parted in a wanton expression, your eyes shiny and half lidded as you looked at him.

“Lucius,” you whimpered. 

“I know,” he murmured soothingly, kissing your neck. “I know.”

Neither of you were willing to break apart from your embrace, so there wasn’t actually much of a preamble. Feverish, he sank into you slowly, your nails digging into his biceps as he stretched you open. That first round was frantic, almost animalistic, all the pent up longing finally being released. His body rolled over yours with the power of the sea’s waves, leaving you awash in ecstasy.

Neither of you lasted very long, but it didn’t matter, as you were nowhere near spent. Lucius, still in the afterglow of his orgasm, lazily began to kiss you all over, wanting to discover every mole and freckle, every tender spot that made you squirm, and every other little detail that made you you. 

He settled between your thighs, his hot breath fanning over your sensitive bundle of nerves. You tried to prop yourself up on your elbows to look at him, but he wrapped his arms around your thighs and pulled you closer. 

“What are you– Oh,” you gasped at the first flick of his tongue, the entirely new sensation disarming you. 

He tasted his essence mixed with yours, a groan rumbling in his chest. You tightly grasped the sheets under you, arching against his face. You bit your lip to stop yourself from making the most undignified sounds, but it was hard to focus, especially as his fingers were added into the mix. Your body burned brighter than any brazier, his arms pinning you down as he conquered you with his mouth. You shattered once more, crying out as he helped you ride it all the way through. 

After, you lied side by side, facing each other. You’d still not had your fill of him, but you needed to gather your strength for the long night ahead. You shared a breathy chuckle, as if still in disbelief it had finally happened, and he kissed your sweat-slick forehead.

“Now that was poetry,” you said jokingly, making him laugh again. 

“You put every verse to shame, my love,” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

You kissed his palm, adoring, and tangled your legs with his. A swell of emotion unlike anything you had ever felt rose within you. It was as if he had awakened a new part of you that you hadn’t known was dormant, bringing you back from an existence that consisted solely of drifting through days that blended into one another.

He was just as grateful to have found you, his peace, his solace, the woman who would always guard his heart. He murmured your name reverently, a reminder that you were his, and he was yours. You drew closer to him, like a moth to flame, and pushed him onto his back, straddling him. His hands came to rest on your hips and your eyes were full of mirth as you held his gaze.

“As it happens, I find myself compelled to compose some more with you.” You grinned playfully, hands sliding up his chest. 

He mirrored your grin, not minding the idea one bit. “Relentless, just like the great muse Calliope.”

“Well, when inspiration strikes… It can’t be helped, can it?”

“No,” he said. “Not when it comes to you.”

------

[w1w2]

Skating the Divide

Myoui Mina x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ca. 5k

Synopsis: On the ice, every move tells a story. For two skaters with opposing styles, the competition is more than just a test of skill. It’s a clash of worlds.

English isn’t my first language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes.

♡ Enjoy! ♡

Part 1 | Part 2 - Cracks in the Ice | Part 3 | Part 4

The tension between Y/N and Mina had been simmering since their first practice, and by the end of the week, it had reached a boiling point. The rink had become a battleground, their clashes echoing louder than their skates cutting into the ice.

They stood at the rink, catching their breaths after yet another failed attempt at the lift sequence. Mina pinched the bridge of her nose, her frustration barely contained. Y/N leaned against the edge of the rink, her hands gripping the boards tightly as if trying to keep herself from shouting.

“Let’s go again,” Mina said, her voice clipped and businesslike.

“Again?” Y/N shot her a disbelieving look. “We’ve done it a million times already. Maybe the problem isn’t me.. it’s your precious plan.”

Mina turned sharply, her gaze like ice. “The problem is that you refuse to follow it. If you would just listen—”

“Listen to what? More lectures about how I’m not good enough?” Y/N interrupted, her voice rising. Her chest heaved as she pushed off the boards and skated toward Mina. “You’ve been nitpicking every single thing I do since day one. Newsflash: I’m not a robot!”

“And thank God for that,” Mina retorted, crossing her arms. “Because if you were, we might actually make progress.”

Y/N let out a bitter laugh, throwing her hands in the air. “Oh, so now it’s all my fault? Maybe if you stopped micromanaging every second and let me breathe, we wouldn’t be stuck here.”

“I wouldn’t have to micromanage if you took this seriously,” Mina snapped, her voice cutting through the air like a blade.

That did it. Y/N’s eyes burned, her face flushing with anger. “Are you kidding me? I’m the one who’s been busting my ass trying to make this work while you stand there acting like you’re too good for all of this!”

Mina’s jaw tightened, her calm facade finally starting to crack. “I’m acting like I’m too good?” she repeated, her tone low and dangerous. “At least I know what it means to work for something instead of just hoping my charm will carry me through.”

The words hit harder than Y/N expected, and she felt a lump rise in her throat. She blinked rapidly, refusing to let Mina see the sting of her remark.

She doesn’t know anything about me, Y/N thought angrily, but her inner voice wavered. Beneath the anger, there was a flicker of doubt. Was that how Mina really saw her? As someone who didn’t deserve to be here?

Her throat felt tight, but she refused to let it show. Instead, she crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Mina. “At least I don’t skate like I have a stick up my—”

“Don’t,” Mina interrupted, her voice quiet but sharp enough to stop Y/N mid-sentence. Her gaze bore into Y/N, and for a moment, the air between them felt impossibly heavy.

Mina clenched her fists at her sides, her nails pressing into her palms as she fought to keep her composure. Y/N’s chaotic energy grated on her nerves in a way that was both infuriating and... unsettling. She told herself it was frustration, that it was the clash of their approaches to skating but she couldn’t ignore the deeper, unspoken emotion simmering beneath the surface.

It was a flicker of something she didn’t want to name, let alone acknowledge.

She doesn’t understand what’s at stake here, Mina thought, her chest tightening as familiar pressure wrapped around her like a vice. This isn’t a game. This is everything.

For Mina, skating wasn’t just a sport. It was a lifeline, a discipline that had shaped her entire existence. Every hour spent perfecting her craft, every blister and bruise, every fleeting moment of joy on the ice, it all built toward the singular goal of being the best. To win. To be untouchable.

But Y/N’s approach was the antithesis of everything Mina believed in. Her free-spirited movements and unpredictable improvisations felt like chaos wrapped in glitter. It was beautiful in its own way, but it lacked the precision Mina had spent years honing.

She doesn’t take it seriously enough, Mina thought, her gaze narrowing as she watched Y/N skate in frustration, her arms gesturing wildly as she argued. How can I rely on someone who doesn’t understand that perfection isn’t optional?

And yet, as she looked at Y/N, standing there with her hands on her hips, her eyes blazing with determination, Mina felt a pang of something foreign.

How does she do that? Mina wondered, her mind briefly slipping from its carefully controlled script. Y/N’s defiance wasn’t just loud, it was fearless. She made mistakes and brushed them off like they didn’t matter, and she skated with a freedom Mina hadn’t felt in years.

For a fleeting moment, Mina envied her. Envied the way she seemed to embrace imperfection, to pour herself into the ice without fear of judgment. But that thought was dangerous. It lingered in the shadows of her mind like a whisper she refused to hear.

That kind of thinking wouldn’t win championships, Mina reminded herself firmly, forcing her gaze to harden. There was no room for freedom. No room for chaos. Only discipline and control. Y/N’s heart pounded as she stared at Mina, her chest tight with frustration. She hated the way Mina always seemed so calm, so composed, like nothing could touch her. It made Y/N feel like she was constantly playing catch-up, like no matter how hard she worked, she’d never be good enough.

Mina’s cold, clipped remarks were the worst. Each one landed like a blow, subtle but sharp, carving away at Y/N’s confidence.

How does she do that? Y/N thought bitterly, her fingers curling into fists. How can she make me feel like an amateur with just a few words?

But beneath her anger, Y/N felt an ache she didn’t want to name. Mina’s constant criticisms stirred up ghosts from her past. Memories of every coach, every judge, every competitor who had looked at her and told her she didn’t belong.

She thought of the rink back home, the cracked ice and the borrowed skates she had to make last for seasons at a time. Of her parents sitting in the freezing stands, cheering her on even when she placed last. Skating wasn’t just a passion for Y/N; it was survival. It was the one thing she had fought to hold on to when everything else felt out of reach.

Mina doesn’t know what it’s like, Y/N thought, bitterness creeping into her chest. She doesn’t know what it’s like to fight for every second on the ice. To always feel like you’re one mistake away from losing it all.

But there was more to it than that, wasn’t there? It wasn’t just Mina’s words that got under her skin. It was the way she carried herself, like she was untouchable. It made Y/N feel... vulnerable.

Y/N shook her head, brushing the thought away. Vulnerability wasn’t an option. She couldn’t afford to let anyone see the cracks, least of all Mina.

No way am I letting her win this. Y/N lifted her chin, her defiant glare locking onto Mina. If Mina wanted perfection, Y/N would show her something better.

They tried the lift again, Y/N’s hands firm on Mina’s waist as they prepared for the sequence. Y/N steadied herself before lifting Mina again, her knees bent with effort as she tried to match Mina’s timing. But as Mina stretched into position, Y/N’s grip slipped slightly. She tried to adjust, but their movements collided in an awkward tangle, sending Mina sliding awkwardly out of Y/N’s grasp.

Y/N let out a frustrated growl, catching herself on the edge of the rink. “This isn’t working,” she said, her voice taut with anger.

“Because you keep improvising,” Mina snapped, skating a tight circle before coming to a stop in front of Y/N. “If you would just stick to the plan—”

“Oh, here we go again with the plan!” Y/N interrupted, throwing her arms wide. “God forbid I add a little flair to this robotic routine you’ve cooked up.”

“This isn’t about flair,” Mina retorted, her voice rising ever so slightly. “This is about trust. I can’t work with someone who doesn’t take this seriously.”

Y/N froze, the words hitting her like a slap. Her mouth opened to respond, but nothing came out. For a moment, the only sound was the faint hum of the arena lights.For Mina, the words had slipped out before she could stop them, but they carried the weight of her deepest fear: failure. She couldn’t afford to lose control, not in her routine, not in her partnership, and certainly not in front of the judges.

For Y/N, the accusation cut deep, feeding into her worst insecurity: that she didn’t belong here. She skated to prove herself, to show the world she was more than an underdog. But now, those fears gnawed at her, leaving her feeling smaller than she’d ever admit.

They tried again, and again, and again. Each attempt only seemed to widen the chasm between them. Needing a moment to recharge, both were physically and emotionally drained, their movements sluggish and their tempers frayed as they stepped away for a brief respite.

As Y/N sat on the bench unlacing her skates, she muttered to herself, “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

Mina overheard, her gaze flicking toward Y/N briefly before she turned away. “Neither can I,” she whispered under her breath, her voice barely audible.

The rink was eerily quiet that night, the usual hum of activity replaced by the soft hum of the arena lights. It was late, well past the time most skaters had gone home, but Mina and Y/N remained. Neither had planned to practice this late, but both had silently agreed to stay after their latest argument earlier in the day.

Y/N skated in slow, lazy circles at one end of the rink, her mind a storm of frustration and doubt. At the other end, Mina methodically practiced footwork, her movements precise and controlled. For a long while, they didn’t speak, the silence between them heavy but oddly comfortable in its stillness.

It was Y/N who broke the quiet.

“You’re always like this, aren’t you?” she said, her voice carrying across the empty rink.

Mina stopped mid-step, turning to face her. “Like what?”

“So... perfect.” Y/N skated closer, her tone somewhere between bitterness and curiosity. “Everything you do is so flawless, so polished. You’ve probably never even fallen in public, have you?”

Mina’s lips pressed into a thin line, her eyes narrowing. “Falling isn’t an option,” she said, her voice calm but guarded. “Not if you want to be the best.”

Y/N tilted her head, studying her. “Must be exhausting.”

The words hung in the air, heavier than Y/N intended. Mina hesitated, her usually poised expression flickering with something more vulnerable.

“What’s exhausting,” Mina said finally, her voice quieter, “is trying to make it look easy.”

Y/N blinked, surprised by the admission. “What do you mean?”

Mina sighed, gliding to the edge of the rink and resting her hands on the boards. For a moment, she didn’t speak, her gaze distant as if she were seeing something far away.

“When you’re at the top,” she said, “everyone expects you to stay there. You can’t make mistakes. You can’t show weakness. Because the moment you do...” She paused, her grip tightening on the boards. “Someone’s waiting to take your place.”

Y/N skated closer, stopping a few feet away. She hadn’t expected this. This glimpse of vulnerability from someone who always seemed so untouchable.

“That’s why you’re so hard on yourself,” Y/N said softly. “And on me.”

Mina turned her head slightly, her expression unreadable. “Perfection isn’t optional,” she said. “Not for me.”

Y/N leaned against the boards beside her, their shoulders almost touching. “Yeah, well, I wouldn’t know what that’s like,” she said with a wry smile. “Perfection’s never been an option for me. I’m just trying to survive out here.”

Mina glanced at her, the faintest trace of curiosity in her eyes. “What do you mean?”

Y/N hesitated, then exhaled deeply, her breath fogging the cold air. “I didn’t grow up like you. I didn’t have the fancy coaches or the perfect skates. I had to borrow skates that didn’t fit, patch up my gear, and hope for the best. I’d practice on this crappy little rink with cracked ice and no heat, and I’d watch videos of skaters like you, wondering how the hell I’d ever get to where you are.”

Mina listened in silence, her usual mask of composure replaced by quiet attentiveness.

“I mean, look at you,” Y/N continued, her voice tinged with both admiration and frustration. “You’ve got everything. The talent, the polish, the... the presence. People look at you and see perfection. They look at me and see some scrappy underdog who doesn’t belong.”

For a moment, neither of them spoke. Mina’s gaze softened, and she looked down at her hands, her fingers tracing the edge of the boards.

“You think I don’t feel like that sometimes?” she said quietly.

Y/N turned to her, surprised. “What?”

Mina’s shoulders stiffened slightly, as if bracing herself. “You think I don’t feel out of place? Like I’m just... playing a part?” Her voice wavered, just barely. “Everyone expects me to be perfect, but sometimes I feel like I’m one mistake away from proving them all wrong. From proving I’m not good enough.”

Y/N stared at her, the ice between them melting with every word. She had never seen Mina like this.. Vulnerable, human.

“You’ve got a funny way of showing it,” Y/N said softly.

Mina glanced at her, her lips curving into the faintest hint of a smile. “And you have a funny way of making me question everything I thought I knew about skating.”

They both laughed, a quiet, tentative sound that echoed in the empty rink.

For the first time since they’d been paired, the air between them felt lighter, less fraught with tension.

“So,” Y/N said, nudging Mina playfully with her shoulder. “What do you say we try again? No lectures, no rules. Just... skating.”

Mina hesitated, then nodded, her smile softening. “Just skating,” she agreed.

Together, they pushed off the boards and onto the ice. And for the first time, it felt like they were skating as partners.

The sound of their skates slicing across the ice filled the rink as Y/N and Mina attempted a particularly challenging lift for what felt like the hundredth time. The late-night practice had stretched even longer. This wasn’t just about the competition. It was about proving to each other, and perhaps themselves, that they could make this work.

“Ready?” Mina asked, her voice steady but softer than usual.

“Let’s do it,” Y/N replied, nodding as she adjusted her position.

Y/N positioned her hands firmly around Mina’s waist, her grip tense but determined. Mina bent her knees slightly, readying herself as Y/N exhaled sharply and began the lift.

For a brief moment, everything felt perfect.

But then, something shifted. Perhaps Y/N’s footing faltered, or Mina overcorrected her balance. The shift threw them into a dangerous wobble, and for a terrifying second, Mina felt herself tilting backward.

Instinct took over. Y/N tightened her hold, steadying Mina just enough to lower her to the ice safely. Mina’s feet touched the ground with a jarring thud, and she stumbled forward, clutching Y/N’s shoulders for balance.

For a moment, neither of them moved. Mina’s chest heaved as she caught her breath, her hands still gripping Y/N’s shoulders. Y/N’s hands remained steady at Mina’s waist, trembling slightly from the effort of holding her partner aloft.

“You okay?” Y/N asked, her voice low but steady, a flicker of worry in her tone.

Mina nodded, her cheeks flushed from both exertion and the unexpected closeness. “I’m fine. Thanks.”

Their eyes met briefly, the usual friction between them replaced by a tentative understanding. The adrenaline still thrummed through Mina’s veins, but it wasn’t just relief that held her in place. It was the realization that she had trusted Y/N in that moment, and Y/N hadn’t let her down.

Y/N, the chaotic whirlwind she had often dismissed, had proven herself capable, someone she could count on, even when the stakes were high. It unsettled her.

There was a fearlessness in Y/N that Mina couldn’t deny. An unwavering trust that, even in the midst of chaos, things would work out. And Y/N had trusted her in that moment. Despite all the friction between them, despite the tension and arguments, Y/N had trusted Mina to catch her.

It unsettled her. And yet... it felt right.

“You should trust me more,” Y/N said, her voice softer than Mina had ever heard it. Her breath was warm against the cold air, and a small, almost teasing smile tugged at her lips.

The words caught Mina off guard. Trust had always been a loaded concept for her. Something earned through precision, control, and discipline. Y/N embodied none of those things. But at that moment, Mina didn’t bristle. She didn’t overthink.

Instead, she smiled back. Just a little. “Maybe you should stop making that so hard,” she said, her tone lighter than usual.

It was a rare exchange for her, a moment of levity in a sea of pressure and perfection. And for the first time, Mina didn’t feel the need to guard herself.

Y/N’s hands lingered on Mina’s waist, her fingers curling slightly as she caught her breath. Her heart pounded, not just from the effort of the lift but from the realization of how easily Mina had placed her trust in her.

Mina had always seemed untouchable: cool, unyielding, and always in control. But in this moment, Y/N glimpsed something else, a vulnerability she hadn’t expected. Mina’s posture, though steady, carried a softness that spoke of trust.

For the first time, Y/N didn’t feel at odds with Mina. Instead, she saw the flickering possibility of real teamwork.

She glanced up, and her breath hitched slightly when her eyes met Mina’s. There was something unspoken in the other woman’s gaze, a softness Y/N had never seen before.

“You know,” Y/N said, breaking the silence with her usual humor, because humor was the only way she knew how to handle moments like this, “for someone who’s all about control, you’re pretty good at improvising.”

The corner of Mina’s lips twitched, a flicker of a smile that felt warmer than the rink’s frozen air. “Don’t get used to it,” she replied, but the words lacked their usual bite.

Y/N grinned, her chest lighter than it had been in days. “Oh, I don’t know. I kind of like this side of you.”

Mina exhaled softly, but she didn’t pull away immediately. Instead, she allowed Y/N a moment to regain her footing, her usual critique conspicuously absent. There was no biting comment, no impatient sigh, just a quiet acknowledgment of their shared effort.

Y/N’s heart softened. She’d spent so much time seeing Mina as a wall she had to climb, but maybe Mina wasn’t a wall at all. Maybe she was someone who understood what it meant to carry weight, even if she carried it differently than Y/N did.

They tried the lift again. This time, Y/N’s movements were measured, her hands steady as she guided Mina off the ice. Mina, in turn, adjusted seamlessly, their timing finally beginning to align. The lift wasn’t flawless, but it felt solid, closer to success than it had ever been.

By the end of the session, they were both exhausted, but the atmosphere between them had changed.

As they skated off the ice together, Y/N nudged Mina with her elbow. “Not bad, Myoui. Not bad at all.”

Mina smirked, the warmth in her eyes belying her usual cool demeanor. “You weren’t terrible either.”

It wasn’t a declaration of friendship, nor an admission of trust, but it was something. A crack in the walls they’d both built around themselves.

For the first time, they weren’t just skating partners thrown together by circumstance. They were a team.

The world outside was dark and quiet, the city lights twinkling faintly against the night sky. Y/N walked a few steps behind Mina, the tension that had previously hung between them replaced by a tentative calm. They didn’t speak until they reached the vending machines near the exit, where Mina paused, frowning slightly as she studied the options.

“What are you doing?” Y/N asked, her tone curious.

Mina glanced at her. “Getting something.”

“From this ancient thing?” Y/N stepped closer, tapping the vending machine with a grin. “It barely works. Half the time it eats your money and gives you nothing in return.”

Mina arched an eyebrow. “Sounds like someone I know.”

Y/N blinked, momentarily stunned before a laugh burst from her lips. “Wait, was that a joke? Myoui Mina, did you just try to roast me?”

Mina smirked, a barely-there expression that Y/N almost missed. “Maybe.”

“Wow.” Y/N put a hand to her chest, mock gasping. “I’m impressed. The ice queen has a sense of humor.”

Mina rolled her eyes, but the corner of her lips twitched. She turned back to the machine, pulling a few coins from her pocket. Y/N watched her select a pack of strawberry Pocky, the machine groaning as it dispensed the snack with a mechanical clunk.

“Strawberry?” Y/N asked, tilting her head.

Mina nodded. “It’s my favorite.”

“No way.” Y/N leaned over and pulled a similar pack from her bag, holding it up triumphantly. “Mine too. The superior flavor, obviously.”

Mina blinked, her gaze flicking between Y/N and the candy in her hand. For the first time, she looked genuinely surprised.

They sat together on a nearby bench, the cold air biting at their faces as they shared an unspoken truce over their mutual love of strawberry Pocky. Y/N broke the silence first.

“You’re not what I expected,” she said, leaning back against the bench.

Mina raised an eyebrow. “What did you expect?”

Y/N shrugged, biting into a stick of Pocky. “I don’t know. Someone... meaner? I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re still infuriating, but... you’ve got layers.”

Mina didn’t reply immediately. Instead, she looked down at the box in her hands, her fingers toying with the edge of the packaging. “You’re different than I thought too,” she admitted softly.

Y/N glanced at her, caught off guard by the honesty in Mina’s tone. “Yeah?”

Mina nodded, her gaze distant. “You’re... fearless. It’s frustrating sometimes, but it’s also...” She hesitated, searching for the right word. “Inspiring.”

Y/N’s cheeks flushed, and she laughed lightly, trying to deflect the compliment. “Careful, Myoui. You’re starting to sound like you actually like me.”

“Don’t push it,” Mina replied, but her voice lacked its usual sharpness.

Later, as they walked to their separate cars, Y/N glanced at Mina and asked, “Do you ever do anything just... for fun? Like, outside of skating?”

Mina tilted her head slightly, the question catching her off guard. “I don’t have much time for fun.”

Y/N stopped in her tracks, turning to face her. “You’re kidding, right? No guilty pleasures? No goofy hobbies? Nothing?”

Mina hesitated, a faint blush coloring her cheeks. “I like puzzles,” she admitted reluctantly.

Y/N burst into laughter, the sound echoing in the quiet parking lot. “Puzzles? That’s adorable.”

Mina frowned, crossing her arms. “There’s nothing adorable about it. It’s logical. Strategic.”

“Sure it is,” Y/N teased, grinning. “Next time, I’m bringing you a puzzle of, like, kittens or something.”

Despite herself, Mina smiled. “You’re impossible.”

“And you’re uptight,” Y/N replied with a wink.

For a moment, they stood there, the tension that had defined their partnership slowly melting away. Mina found herself charmed by Y/N’s infectious energy, her ability to find humor and joy in the smallest moments.

And for Y/N, Mina’s quiet humor and growing warmth were a revelation, a reminder that there was more to the ice queen than meets the eye.

As they parted ways, Y/N called after Mina, “Don’t let me catch you practicing without me tomorrow, okay? Team effort, remember?”

Mina paused, looking over her shoulder with a faint smile. “Only if you stop improvising.”

“No promises!” Y/N shouted, laughing as Mina rolled her eyes and walked to her car.

The night marked a turning point, not just in their partnership, but in the way they saw each other. They were still opposites in many ways, but beneath the differences, a bond was beginning to form.

A few days had passed since the tentative understanding between Y/N and Mina at their late-night practice. The air between them was still fragile, like the ice beneath their skates, and both women tread carefully. Their sessions were more productive now, but far from seamless. Y/N’s daring improvisations still clashed with Mina’s perfectionism, but there was less venom in their arguments and an unspoken effort to meet halfway.

The rest of the rink, however, was less accommodating.

It began subtly. Side glances and hushed conversations that trailed off when Y/N or Mina entered a room. At first, Y/N ignored it. She was used to being the odd one out, the wildcard in a sport dominated by elegance and precision. But as the days went on, the whispers grew louder, harder to ignore.

One day, as Y/N sat on a bench lacing her skates, the words finally pierced through her focus.

“I don’t get it,” one skater said, her voice carrying just loud enough to reach Y/N. “Why would they pair someone like her with Mina?”

“She’s going to drag her down,” another replied, the sharp edge in her tone unmistakable.

Y/N’s fingers faltered on the laces, her chest tightening. She kept her head down, pretending not to hear.

“Can you imagine?” The first voice laughed. “Mina, the queen of precision, stuck with someone who can’t even land a consistent triple loop.”

“It’s a joke,” chimed a third. “They’re only doing this doubles thing to shake things up, but pairing them together? It’s cruel to Mina.”

Y/N bit her lip, her stomach churning. She forced her fingers to keep moving, tugging at the laces with more force than necessary.

The voices continued, oblivious or uncaring that she could hear every word.

“She’s all flash and no substance. It’s embarrassing to watch.”

“Maybe they thought Mina could whip her into shape.”

“Or maybe they wanted to give Mina a challenge. You know, like a handicap,” one added with a smirk, and the group burst into laughter.

Y/N’s hands stilled. The words cut deeper than she wanted to admit. She’d always prided herself on her resilience, on not letting the opinions of others dictate her worth. But this felt different. It wasn’t just about her; it was about Mina, too.

She glanced up briefly, catching her reflection in the mirror across the room. Her usually bright eyes looked duller, weighed down by doubt. Was she really dragging Mina down? Was everyone right?

Later that day, during a break between sessions, Y/N sat alone at a table in the skaters’ lounge, nursing a lukewarm cup of coffee. The room buzzed with activity, skaters stretching, laughing, and reviewing their routines. Y/N tried to focus on the notes Mina had left her about their sequence, but her mind kept replaying the voices from the locker room.

“Hey, Y/N,” a voice called, too sweet to be genuine.

She looked up to see Nayeon, one of the more vocal skaters, sauntering over with a sly smile. Nayeon was flanked by two others, all of them radiating the kind of confidence that came from years of polished performances and unshakable scores.

“How’s it going with Mina?” Nayeon asked, leaning against the table. “Must be... challenging.”

Y/N’s jaw tightened. “We’re doing fine,” she replied, keeping her tone even.

“Really?” Nayeon raised an eyebrow, feigning surprise. “Because from what I hear, it sounds like she’s doing most of the work.”

One of Nayeon’s friends snickered. “I mean, she’s Mina Myoui. She can handle anything. But it must be hard, carrying all that dead weight.”

Y/N’s grip on her coffee cup tightened. “If you’ve got something to say, just say it.”

Nayeon tilted her head, pretending to consider it. “I’m just saying, doubles skating is about synergy, right? And it’s hard to have synergy when one partner’s a champion and the other... well, you know.”

The laugh that followed felt like a dagger. Y/N stood abruptly, the chair scraping loudly against the floor.

“You don’t know anything about us,” she said, her voice low but trembling with anger.

Nayeon smirked. “Oh, I think everyone knows exactly what’s happening. You’re lucky to be skating with someone like Mina. Too bad she’s stuck with someone like you.”

The room fell quiet, the tension palpable. Y/N’s chest burned, the weight of their words pressing down on her. Without another word, she stormed out, the door slamming shut behind her.

She didn’t stop until she reached the empty rink, the cold air biting at her flushed cheeks. She needed to move, to release the storm swirling inside her.

Pacing the rink’s edge, Y/N muttered under her breath. “Lucky? Stuck with me? They don’t know anything.” Her voice cracked, and she stopped, gripping the boards tightly.

Her mind raced with doubts. Maybe they’re right. Maybe I am dragging her down. Mina’s perfect. She deserves someone who matches her, not... me.

But alongside the doubt was anger. At the skaters, at herself, and, though she hated to admit it, at Mina. She’d overheard some of Mina’s earlier comments, the veiled criticisms that had fed into her insecurities. Even if things between them had softened, Mina hadn’t gone out of her way to defend her, either.

“I’m not dead weight,” Y/N whispered fiercely, as if saying it aloud would make it true.

She stayed there for a long time, the quiet rink swallowing her frustration. When she finally moved, it was with a determination burning in her chest. If the world thought she wasn’t good enough, she’d prove them wrong. Not for Mina, not for the judges, but for herself.

[girlthatgotawaysdiary]

study tips: how to get a 4.00 GPA pt 2 🦢

─── ��⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

this is the second part of my first post!!

disclaimer: now these tips won't guarantee you getting immediate straight A's, but applying them to your school life will definitely improve it.

#6 act like the main character in a tv show:

this helped SOOO much! acting like that could result in more confidence and encourage you to join in activities as main characters are usually the leaders in a group project, this could help you build ur leadership skills.

#7 find people or characters you aspire to be like: 

a character i aspired to be was Rory Gilmore (as i think she was to everyone), even just watching gilmore girls made me be determined to get good grades. Some characters that are academic weapons are: spencer hastings, elle woods, blair waldorf, and paris geller.

#8 behavior:

your behavior is so important. respecting ur teachers, valuing school rules, and helping ur friends are all synonymous with being a great overachieving student. remember to always be polite and respectful whenever approaching anyone!!

#9 change your mindset:

adopting a more positive mindset is the key to being put together during school exams, it improves ur focus and makes you care more about urself than others, which u will then channel into school work.

#10 make vision/pinterest boards:

having a clear image of exactly what u want is so helpful, making vision boards are my favorite things to do. they make me feel very motivated and dedicated to reaching my goals(in this case an A+ student).

now making vision boards is pretty easy, all you need is either a board or A3 paper, glue, scissors, & some pictures!! i would recommend making a list of the goals you want to achieve and searching them up on pinterest, picking the pictures to ur liking then printing them out, cutting them up, and sticking them to the board!

#11 manifesting:

 my fav way of manifesting is listening to subliminals. i luv listening to them while doing hw, studying for a test, or even while sleeping. manifesting helps clear ur intentions and goals, because it involves focusing on them to bring them to life. i recommend the law of assumption and attraction.

#12 find study methods that work for you:

there are various study methods to choose from and are all catered to different learning styles. it took me a bit to find the ones that worked for me...🎀

♡ pomodoro method: first u set a timer (for example) for 30 mins of focused learning, then taking a break for 10 minutes.

♡ blurting method: its basically writing all that u understood from ur subject on a piece of paper, then after that reviewing it and looking at the areas where u might have gotten something incorrect.

♡ practice testing: theres many apps that could help u with this like quizlet, but personally i like to make my own practice exam. i primarily just gather the key points from the topic and make up questions about them.

♡ active recall: this requires using flashcards or just actively testing urself about what u remember from the topic.

♡ the Feynman technique: in this method, u essentially teach the topic to someone else(or ur wall or plushie). this can identify gaps in ur understanding.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

love, heaven

[bwat5-blog]

Vi and Jinx: Listen To Jinx

**Spoilers For All of Arcane**

The relationship between Vi and Jinx is one of most important parts of this story. It is immensely complex, tragic and heartwarming, the tale of these sisters as they fight to find their way back to one another over the course of this story is truly incredible. I have personally written a full analyses on their story, as have several others. This, is not that. Put simply, if I see one more "Vi got what she deserved" post regarding Vi getting hit by Caitlyn, or her running from Jinx's bombs, or whichever example people want to misinterpret to prove their point, I am going to lose it.

So! What this is, is a hard and fast list of some statements regarding the two of them that will likely ruffle some feathers. I would hope anyone reading my writing by now knows I love both of these characters, and understand the nuance in these situations. But people need some serious perspective. These events will be leading up to season 2, act 3, because at that point they are pretty much on the same page.

**There is nuance and deeper meaning in each of these situations. There are many more things each character does both good, and bad. Neither of them are perfect. But sometimes boiling things down is how we get to the crux of the issue**

Season 1: Act 1

There is not a single shred of evidence Vi was anything other than loving and supportive sister before the night of Vander's death.

Vi was completely correct in leaving Powder behind for the mission.

Vi did not make Jinx. An otherwise loving older sister losing control during a single traumatic event did not completely warp her little sisters mental health. Now seven years as the daughter of a violent drug lord however?

Vi "left" Powder because she was kidnapped as a minor and thrown into a violent and abusive prison without cause for seven years.

From everything we were shown, if Powder had listened their family would have made it out.

Season 1: Act 2

Jinx murders 4 firelights, 1 who she thought was Vi, and six enforcers all in 1 episode.

Jinx is a loving daughter to the man who tried to (and mostly succeeded) kill her entire family and took her for his own.

Jinx puts her gatling gun under Vi's chin during their first reunion.

Vi is stabbed, beaten and chased all in her attempt to get to Jinx.

During their reunion, Vi immediately embraces Jinx, tells her whatever she had to do was for survival, tries to take responsibility for what happened, and fights back to back with her.

Season 1: Act 3

Jinx kills several enforcers and Marcus on bridge

Jinx actively tries to kill Caitlyn and Vi both

Jinx almost kills both herself and Ekko

Jinx abducts Caitlyn naked from her bathroom, makes her put on her enforcer uniform, ties her and gags her with a smiling mask so she can try and convince Vi to kill her

Jinx brutally knocks out Caitlyn

Jinx kills Silco

Jinx murders 3 Piltover counselors including Caitlyn's mom in front of her

Vi insists she can help her sister before the bridge attack

Vi is going back to the undercity to find Jinx before the bombs go off on the bridge

Vi completely blames herself for what her sister has become when they are in Caitlyn's room.

Vi refuses to kill Caitlyn, but tries to get Jinx to come away with her so they can be family again.

Season 2: Act 1

Jinx expresses knowing she could die at any time as "best feeling in the world'

Jinx declare intent to kill Vi

Jinx intentionally lures Cait and Vi into ventilation chamber for battle

jinx encourages Vi to kill her when time comes

Jinx is the only reason Isha is in danger to begin with. She had no business being here.

Vi joines enforcer taskforce: Hunting Shimmer, Chem Barrons, and Jinx

Vi stops fighting when Jinx says she is ready to die.

Vi stops Caitlyn from hurting Isha

Season 2: Act 2

Jinx knew Vi was in the pits, and came to see her at least twice before finally coming to her over Vander. Made no move that audience is shown to help despite obvious decline

Jinx was hiding during entire occupation. She "busted half of Zaun out of Stillwater" because of Isha. Not her people.

Jinx being the symbol on the painting with Vander is laughable. She is known as the daughter of the man who killed Vander and the rest of his kids.

Jinx tells Isha last time she and Vi fought she kicked Vi's ass. Jinx was on her back wanting to die.

JINX IS THE REASON ISHA IS IN DANGER. SHE HAD NO BUSINESS BEING HERE. (Vander hunt and commune both)

Vi comes with Jinx after literally everything above

Vi saves Isha from Vander

Vi trusts Jinx and lowers her gloves.

Vi throws her body over Jinx's to protect her from explosion

In the end, the sisters have found each-other again and accepted who they have become. They are both flawed, they both mistakes,and their story is incredibly moving. Because ultimately their love for eachother perseveres even when it seems like they have totally lost one another.

So why did I do all of this? Because regardless of circumstance, of nuance, of deeper meaning, when you boil it all down Vi is a loving and protective older sister who goes about a million miles past reasonable trying to help her little sister, more than a few times to her own detriment. And guess what? Jinx knows that. She specifically tells Vi to start living for herself and stop feeling guilty over being happy, and being loved. And her last action (as far as we know) in the world of the living, is to save Vi's life. Seems like she knew what an amazing sister Vi always was. Maybe some of yall should listen to her.

[aonemanarmy]

So, that had been Mother's deal with Vincent. Sephiroth didn't understand why Jenova had thought it necessary to use the other man as a guardian for him – he hardly needed protection – but he was under the impression that it was more of a ploy to keep the gunman close in case he proved to be a nuisance. It was quite strange though for Jenova to go that far, but Sephiroth knew that her thoughts were far beyond true comprehension even for him.

Before Sephiroth could voice any response Vincent continued and finally made his request known which left him more than a little perplexed. Of all the requests Vincent could have made, Sephiroth had never anticipated the gunman to make the one that he had. It made him wonder why the ex-Turk would request that he meet someone out of all the things he could've asked for.

A part of Sephiroth was immediately suspicious, honestly expecting this to be some sort of trick, but he couldn't detect any sign of deception in Vincent's eyes. However, Sephiroth would be the first to admit he wasn't exactly an expert in human emotion, although he didn't get the impression that the other man would waste such a golden opportunity for the sake of an ill-conceived attempt at subterfuge. It didn't mean that Sephiroth was ready to trust Vincent – not even close – but he was still willing to humor him if only because the ex-Turk had piqued his curiosity.

The sense of curiosity he felt only grew as he felt the sudden resurgence of Jenova's presence at the back of his mind, the alien entity tearing at his thoughts in an attempt to reassert control over him. A splitting headache began to form behind Sephiroth's eyes in response, but he forcefully shoved Jenova back and bound her tighter, even if it did little to stop her venomous threats and the steady spikes of pain that accompanied them. He could bear it just like he had everything else – stoically and without any real expression betraying his inner thoughts or the mental struggle that he had fought.

Still, why had Jenova reacted in such a way?

Sephiroth knew that she was determined to seize control again, but this didn't feel like one of her typical attempts. It felt more...direct and daresay urgent. Perhaps the madman was simply overthinking things, but his suspicions remained as he listened to Vincent indicate that the person he wanted Sephiroth to meet was the very same that Jenova had told the gunman to seek out.

'Why did Vincent think that he was remotely interested in who that person was? The human that the other man valued so much meant nothing to Sephiroth and he'd never bothered to ask Jenova for further details about them. It wasn't as if Jenova was ready to offer him any details in the first place, but he wondered why Vincent was making the whole thing out to be anything more than some sort of transaction between the two of them.

The madman didn't voice his thoughts, instead watching Vincent as he paced past him and stared out over the horizon at something only he could see. It was of little interest to Sephiroth, but he humored the gunman as he spoke and mentioned what that person wanted. Sephiroth was set to brush aside all interest in it when the ex-Turk spoke those last words which immediately had him on guard.

So, Vincent wanted him to see someone that sought to lay claim to him again. It wasn't as if it would be the first time that someone had thought to do so; all of Shinra and its Science Department had done so at one point or another and he was hardly keen on the idea. To humans he was an object, a thing to be possessed, used, and then thrown away whenever it suited them and nothing more. That simply was how things were and he'd come to accept that fact long ago.

“And they would not be the first one to claim me as theirs.” Sephiroth said flatly, not sure why Vincent thought those words would mean anything to him. “I have had many that controlled me over the years and many more that would seek to possess me if they could, so your 'person' would be no different.”

Another sharp stab of pain struck Sephiroth behind the eyes and he scowled, dropping the hand holding Hojo's severed head to his side.

Jenova's persistence was becoming quite bothersome. It certainly didn't help his mood, but having Hojo's head in hand made everything but the most egregious pain bearable.

“I shall not trade one master for another.”

Sephiroth refused to be enslaved again. However, with his true form entombed in the crater and undergoing metamorphosis it would be beyond anyone's influence. All that would be available to Vincent and this person would be the avatar he currently possessed, and that could easily be dismissed or destroyed without any real negative consequences on his part. So perhaps he could slake his own curiosity by humoring the request and if all else failed he could always teach Vincent a lesson by killing his treasured person.

Drawing his sword, Sephiroth stalked over to the lip of the crater and using it sheered the limbs off a small tree. Then, without a hint of hesitation the madman took Hojo's severed head and impaled it upon the sharpened trunk with a sickening squelching sound that painted the snow black with ichor and clotted, old blood. It was a fitting warning.

“I will see your person, but know that I will belong to no one ever again.”

In a morbid sense, it was a twisted yet beautiful sight to see Sephiroth holding the head of Sephiroth in his hand—staring in the face of the man who had both created and tormented him; the true source of all of Sephiroth’s nightmares. Even if Hojo had been the cause of everyone’s pain, including Vincent’s, at least he had tasted the goodness that came with humanity, imperfections and all. Sephiroth, on the other hand, had been robbed of all of it before conception. However, was this truly Sephiroth or Jenova?

Sephiroth’s response gave Vincent that answer, and the gunslinger blinked in a mild confusion at first. So it wasn’t Jenova after all… the shift in essence was curious. But if this was Sephiroth, then what was this powerful sensation he felt atop the mountain? Had Sephiroth truly gained the freedom from Jenova’s control? Vincent didn’t immediately respond to Sephiroth and briefly turned part way to look up at the mountain. The power shook the mountain. He could feel a strong pulse growing steadily stronger. He recognized that pulse… Was this where Sephiroth’s physical body had been entombed the entire time? The one he had witnessed falling into the pool of Mako several years back? Realization slowly crept through his mind, and Vincent turned to meet Sephiroth’s figment once more. Though his eyes were still somewhat harsh, they had softened as he began to put the pieces together. He couldn’t be sure if Sephiroth had yet gained the victory over Jenova, but he could easily test that. At least from what Sephiroth had told him thus far, it seemed as though he hadn’t been speaking to Jenova at all… but Sephiroth’s true conscience. The test hadn’t been conducted by Jenova, but by Sephiroth. Perhaps Sephiroth had already broken free from Jenova long ago and the man with silver hair only feigned it up till now. The power that Jenova wielded was beyond belief—having corrupted and destroyed many planets in the past. For Sephiroth to break free of the most terrifying and manipulative entity known to humanity, it bespoke the power of will that Sephiroth possessed. It was more terrifying than Jenova herself. Who was the puppet-master, now? “I see…” Vincent mused allowed, indicating he had realized he was no longer addressing Jenova as he once thought.

This was very advantageous, yet Vincent was also aware that Jenova wouldn’t simply let go of her most valuable asset—Sephiroth. After all, she took on the form of those who the victim was closest to, someone they hated, loved, or feared. But Vincent would give Sephiroth the benefit of a doubt until those signs once again showed themselves.

Directing his attention towards Sephiroth again, he felt those piercing eyes searching his thoughts. As intrusive as it felt, in a sense Vincent wanted Sephiroth to know the truth. Perhaps it now was the time. There was a strong chance Jenova would try to thwart the effort, or Sephiroth would simply deny Vincent's request. Nevertheless, there was no better time than the present. One thing that kept tugging at Vincent's mind was what would happen if Sephiroth did agree to follow through with his request. What would be the consequences? Would he be putting Lucrecia in danger? There was a strong possibility. But keeping Lucrecia in the dark also seemed equally cruel. Sooner or later, Lucrecia would discover her son was indeed alive. What would she do then if he weren't present to protect her? How could he be sure the one he was talking to wasn't yet again Jenova just playing 5D chess and manipulating the gunslinger? And would Cloud and the others be exempt from what he was about to attempt? 'Let me see him. Just once!'

Vincent could remember hearing Lucrecia's cries towards Hojo from within the mako tank; Sephiroth had been separated from Lucrecia long before she could even hold him. Would seeing her son's face finally put her soul to rest? Or would it rip the wounds anew? Was Vincent going to deprive Lucrecia of her son's audience, also? “There’s someone I’d like you to meet,” Vincent began, his pair of crimson colors meeting Sephiroth’s with an equal measure of sincerity.

“In an effort to ensure your success and safety, Jenova made me promise to be your protector. And if I failed to do so…” His brows slightly furrowed, watching Sephiroth’s reactions keenly. “She would take what I cherish most.” Vincent turned in the direction of the cave as he continued to speak.

“Do you recall telling me to venture out? To find ‘my treasure’?” His voice lowered just above a whisper. “Jenova never told you who that was, did she?” Vincent asked, assuming that Sephiroth had been cultivating the seeds of doubt long before he had sensed it. Vincent began to pace and walk passed Sephiroth, looking out in the direction of the cave. “That someone…she wishes to see her one and only treasure, as well.” He then looked over his shoulder towards Sephiroth, only exposing his profile as long black strands hid part of his face. “That treasure... is you.”

[drama-glob]

SPOILERS FOR "SINSMAS!"

Man, this episode was a roller coaster. O_O

Poor Stolas on adjusting to life not being a prince anymore, but my heart melted from how much care and patience Blitz showed to try and comfort him even though he was mainly worried about his daughter over the course of the month. Poor Octavia too on being stuck with Stella and Andrealphus, who definitely kept up with controlling her by taking away her phone and clearly not actually caring about her. :(

I liked that we learned what "Sinsmas" is and makes me wonder how the Sins celebrate because no way they would miss out on this, even though the holiday may not actually be celebrated by the other royals given that Stolas doesn't seem to even know what it it; of course, it could just come from being raised by Paimon, who may not have it in the palace because he either did not care about his kids enough to celebrate with them or considered it a holiday just for the lower class. :/

It's crazy (and sad) that Octavia's song was indeed a parallel to "You Will Be Okay," but it further shows the divide and lack of forgiveness she has for her father all while holding Blitz as the enemy who's to blame. :( Her finding Stolas's pills was so sad too since she seemed to feel betrayed and confused, but I'm glad she was taking the pills to her dad because I was worried for a moment she might have thought to take them. O_O

My heart though when Blitz saw that family and envisioned it being him, Stolas, Octavia, and Loona as one big, happy family; that's basically every Stolitz shipper's dream! I hope we see it come true one day.<3<3<3

I literally cheered when Stolas punched Andrealphus in the face because that peacock deserves it and the fact that Stolas is typically a pacifist just proves how much he wants to see his daughter. I also laughed my ass off to Blitz calling Andrealphus "Elsa" because we've all thought it at one point or another and I even made a meme about it. XD It was amazing getting to see Loona use more magic and I heard we'll learn more about her in season 3, so we'll likely see her use more of her magical arsenal. ;) I lost it though when Blitz saved Stolas and they kissed in midair! Just yes to all of it! ^_^<3<3<3

I'm glad Octavia managed to save the day, but sadly, we all knew what likely was going to occur for Stolas and Octavia's interaction thanks to the trailer; it was still such a gut-punch though as they're both crying and Octavia is refusing to listen to Stolas, which only further highlights where Stolas trying to shelter Octavia has exacerbated the issue. ;_; ;_; ;_;

OMG though on Millie being pregnant!!! We were given the signs and even I was like "Oh, she's pregnant, isn't she?" Sure enough, we got the confirmation, so now we'll have to unpack that drama bomb in Season 3 since she still hasn't told Moxxie yet and we don't know what her decision will be. O_O Also, it was great getting to see Loona hang out with her friends from "Queen Bee." ^_^<3<3<3

Even though things aren't the best for Stolas right now, I was so happy for the Stolitz content we got with Blitz actually being romantic and affectionate, so at least Stolas further knows that Blitz does care and want to be with him. Aww to that hug at the end!!! ^_^<3<3<3

(Although I wish we had seen some Sins actually in it like Ozzie or Bee, I understand why they didn't since it would have messed with the flow and focus of the story. :/ Now we'll have to wait until Season 3 to see them or be blessed to have some shorts focused on them).

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Day 84 

Oh what a wonderful day! Why? BECAUSE I FINALLY GET TO SAY THE LAST OF MY STUPID ARBITRARY RULES! The Final Arbitrary Rule is: No Crossing Over with Other Franchises! Which I very clearly fuckin’ broke here!

I wanted to do my best to only make pieces working with just the base of Junkan itself, and AU’s I made had to be original and not just “What if Junkan but it’s in X series.” That way when I finished the project a bunch of new doors would open up for me to have fun with! I know last time we had Alice in Wonderland, but given the public domain nature of that story I don’t find it to be an infraction of the rule. There’s a future day coming up that also kiiiind of breaks it? But also i feel like it’s a slightly different case, not sure how to explain it while you can’t see it. None of that matters because today we have a blunt, no fucking around breaking of that rule, and why?

Listen I’ve seen some of ya’ll draw/write Junko and Mikan as Pokemon Trainers while waiting for this day to get posted, surely you understand. I’ve been wanting to draw a pic of these two with full teams for months at this point in the projects making, I couldn’t wait any longer, it was a moment of weakness!!!

Designing the outfits for these two was super fun. Once again I’ve fucking put Mikan in a Sweater, and this time it doubles as a dress! Will I ever be stopped? 

That does generally bring me to the thoughts I’m having in hindsight months after this pic, I think Junko’s side is on the weaker side. I like her fit though I might make small edits to it whenever the next time I draw her is. But the main thing is I think the team I put together is kind of lacking??

Mikan’s? I’m perfectly happy with, Frillish is just there because she vibes aesthetically with Mikan, Blissey is obvious, Lampent because it’s associated with hospitals due to floatin around them to steal life energy, Clefable I can explain in a second but it’s probably obvious, Spinda because she needs a cute buddy to be clumsy with, but my favorite was giving her an Applin.

Like the whole thing with Applin is that giving one to someone as a gift is a declaration of Love. So of course Junko would do that, she’s all about that shit (in my brain at least). I think it’s cute!

Junko’s half of things though, if I’m gonna be real a few months later I’d probably only keep two of them and just try to remake the rest of the team. Gengar (who is also the reason Mikan has a Clefable, I love that old fan theory), because he’s my favorite pokemon and I think he just vibes really well with Junko. And Hydreigon, because Junko deserves a giant nightmare dragon. 

This is another instance of me concocting something for this project and then not being able to draw any more of it because I have to wait for it to be posted. So now, assuming I have time, I can finally draw the Pokemon AU!~ Like I said i’ll probably do some minor reworks, and then some major reworks on Junko’s end. No idea when it’ll be but look forward to it I suppose!~ 

As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~

[benjamin-benny-ben]

Personal opinion? Octavia DOESN’T have to forgive Stolas, contrary to what I’ve seen people saying.

Hear me out. I love them both, truly, but as a person who was put in a similar position to Octavia as a child (Dad cheated on my mom, A LOT, they divorced and my dad proceeded to basically ignore me and focus on his new family) I don’t think she has to forgive him immediately (or ever!!!!!). Obviously what I went through is very different. But she’s allowed to be pissed and feel abandoned cause she WAS. Even if Stolas IS trying to contact her, see her, etc. She’s allowed to be angry.

He by definition did leave her for his lover. Yes, it was a split decision because he had to think fast and Blitzø was about to be executed for using STOLAS’S GRIMOIRE THAT HE ALLOWED I.M.P. TO USE KNOWING IT WAS ILLEGAL. Stolas is NOT an “innocent precious baby” like some of yall make him out to be. He’s also flawed, and that’s why I like his character.

Yes, Stolas was abused and neglected as a child and in his marriage, but so was Octavia. She was raised in an extremely toxic household with an abusive mother, parents yelling at each other and one of them THROWING SHIT at the other. Even if Stolas didn’t abuse (well, hit her. He still neglected her, even if he didn’t mean to) himself, she was raised in an extremely toxic environment. She was ALSO neglected at points and Stolas just wouldn’t listen to her. Of course she’s going to be mad when her father seemingly abandoned her for his bf and leaves her with

I think if they sat down and Stolas explained everything to her, she’d maybe understand more. But that still doesn’t mean he DESERVES her forgiveness.

It’s a flawed show, everyone is flawed, it’s Hell. But I think Octavia has a reason to not want to speak to him and I think if she never spoke to him again, it’d be justified.

[demon-country]

Yes, exactly. Listen, I love Octavia a lot. She's a great character with a lot of potential and a good kid in an extremely fucked up situation courtesy of her mother and uncle. But she's also only a few months shy of being an adult and not a little kid, and that was a seriously fucked up thing to say. 

She's upset and people say things they don't entirely mean or that come out wrong all the time when they're upset, but that doesn't make it okay. It was actually incredibly cruel of her to say that in front of Blitz and the people who love him and very nearly lost him. It's completely understandable that she feels betrayed and abandoned, but saying (well, heavily implying) that she wishes Stolas had left him to die right in front of everyone is so so so fucked up. 

I'm sorry she has to go through this, but her pain can be healed whereas his death would have been permanent. And I really don't think that's actually something she's even considered yet, because she understandably is too wrapped up in her own pain to realize it was never about choosing between her and Blitz, it was about choosing between Blitz dying and Blitz not dying. I'm sure she'll feel awful about it later, but god, Blitz's face when she said that is heart-wrenching. You can tell it gutted him as surely as any blade.

Octavia, like everyone else in this show, is a mess. And understandably so! But a mess all the same. And that's okay. That's whole point of a character arc.

So I want to address something.

Octavia: “You had a choice and you chose him.”

I am of two minds: she’s 17. She’s going through a traumatic situation. She’s emotionally stunted because of the way she was raised.

She also told Stolas, to his face, in front of Blitz, that he should have let Blitz be executed.

I don’t hate her for this. Not at all. Teenagers are notoriously self-absorbed and you add some privilege/entitlement to that, a dash of trauma, and you get the inevitable consequences.

And also

She’s not an innocent little girl who’s done nothing wrong ever. She’s 17. She knows what she’s saying.

She said, to Stolas’ face, in front of Blitz and co., that he should have let Blitz die.

She’s speaking from a place of hurt and betrayal.

She’s also in the wrong for that. And I hope with time and perspective, with some maturity to understand that her father is flawed and traumatized and doing his best between a rock and a hard place, she will apologize for that.

[vestaclinicpod]

Audio Drama Sunday - 22nd December ✨

I have been SO ill this week oh my god, I can’t even express how much hands this virus has 🤧 Thank you to all the shows who have kept me company this week!

🌲 @hellofromthehallowoods (178) Olivier!!!! Oh, it is breaking my HEART that his parents essentially pulled him out and dropped him in bloody France with no more power and no way of finding out what happened to the rest of the expedition. He doesn’t even know about Riot 😭 Also, I wish the gang had just been told the truth about that chapel because, my god, if it’s not Marco that goes wandering in there, it’s definitely going to be Hope!! Eek, Cole, man!!! You are not showing that you understand any of the principles that made Clem a good detective!! She had a process and a Shelby and years of practice!! You, sir, are going to fuck this up! We obviously now know for sure that Heather was one of the quartet and I feel like Ignatius is probably one because of the fire. Who knows! The game is still definitely afoot! 

🦋 @remnantspod (20) I was warned that this episode would break my heart but did I heed that warning as I listened on my walk through the city centre? No. Did I pay the socially embarrassing price for that hubris? Maybe!! Pushing down the trauma of that remnant leads to some qs from me (please share if you have thoughts!!). We know that Stephen Grenville was just one of many names that the keystone character was using - do we know if the man in this remnant was the ‘original’ one or a ‘fake’ SG? I’m thinking about what he said about Celine’s paintings and her being unable to stop her own style peeking through, I didn’t catch a flash of the Perry/Stephen/Apprentice in this man. I feel like it would add such an interesting layer if the murderer we know about was stealing identities from nasty people. But maybe that's wishful thinking! Does it make the murdering better if there's a good reason?? Idk! No? I might need to dedicate myself to a relisten sometime soon! 

🎃 Waiting For October by @monkeymanproductions (2.5) Ah, Poe. I love that there are still people fond enough of him to listen to his story no matter how irritating he is generally! I am definitely not well read enough to catch all of the references to other authors and stories but I found his cawing belligerence amusing all the same!! I’m looking forward to what’s next for Karo and Yvonne! 

🎙️WTNV (260 - December Monologues) Such a great time of year. I love hearing from characters we don’t catch up with as much like the Faceless Old Woman. I don’t know what’s about to happen with Steve, but I am buckled in and ready to find out!! 

🍾 @ameliapodcast (39) Amelia and Alvina are just on a prison tour at this point! Sometimes there are quotes that you just need to immediately add to the mental bank and “I piss on your mother's grave and wipe my ass with your birth certificate!” is 100% one of them 😂

🧳 Travelling Light @monstrousproductions (Q+A part 2)  my three take away points from this second part of the Q+A were 1) complete gratitude that Hero and I are on the same page about Scarry (who will most certainly return in late S2 right?). 2) I am soooo intrigued about your vague references to Olí and the Traveller’s relationship in S2 AND 3) Matt, that impression was genuinely horrifying. Thank you. 

🌵 @desertskiespodcast (1-4) I have been putting off listening to Desert Skies for too long because I knew it would make me emotional. Until Leon @tellnotalespod very correctly told me that a few tears are so worth it for the rest of the experience of listening to the show. I’m only a few eps in but I absolutely adore the balance of humour and heartache. I’ve literally had these characters for 2 hours and I would already kill for them!!

Have a lovely week, everyone! The days are getting longer and the nights are getting shorter!! 🫶

[likelyamused]

Beginning / Previous / Next

Transcript below the cut.

Max: [Knocks]

Marco: Come in.

Max: Hi! Is everything ok? I saw Magoo outside and he doesn’t look too good.

Marco: Yeah, I’m getting ready to go to the vet with him. I was able to get an appointment at 12:00.

Max: Do you need me to do anything for you today?

Marco: No, that’s fine.

Max: Oh, ok.

Marco: What’s going on with you? You seem bummed.

Max: No, I’m fine. Why do you say that?

Marco: Nevermind.

Max: I just-

Max: [...]

Marco: [...]

Marco: We have time for a cup of coffee. You want one?

Max: [nods]

----------------

Max: I didn’t have a happy childhood and I’ve been involved in some... illegal stuff in the past. You’ve figured as much already. I’ve been getting pretty close to this girl and... I haven’t told her about any of it, really. It isn’t fair to keep evading the subject or lying to her about it at this point. And... I can’t drag her into this.

Marco: Max, are you still active?

Max: No! I closed that door when I came here. ... Except for the few things I borrowed, and gave back.

Marco: Then what would you be dragging her into?

Max: It’s complicated...

Marco: Is it?

Max: She’s just known a life much different from my own.

Marco: Are you serious about her?

Max: [...]

Marco: ‘Cause if you are, you should talk to her... let her make her own decision about what she wants to do. You’re doubting yourself because you’re assuming she’ll judge you or won’t understand what you went through. You can’t know that if you don’t give her a chance.

Max: It’s not just about us. She has a family. As a parent, what would you think if your daughter went out with someone like me?

Marco: The truth? First reaction, I wouldn’t be happy about it. But you’ve shown a lot more courage, resilience and sense of responsibility than many kids your age. Maybe there’s a way to get past those first impressions. Maybe your present actions could show your character better than the past ones.

Max: Maybe... Or maybe I should end things before they go any further.

Marco: You could... Is it the same person you’ve told me numerous times that she’s just a friend?

Max: Yeah...

Marco: Would you be able to stay away?

Max: [...]

Marco: My advice: whatever you decide to do, go all in. If you decide to end it, make it clean. If you decide to pursue it, be honest and let her in. Things left unsaid are certainly going to drive a wedge between you two. I have to leave now. Will you be okay?

Max: Yeah. I think I just needed to talk about it. Thanks for listening.

Marco: Max, I’m happy to be here for that. We can talk whenever you want.