#like....I knew I was enby months to a whole YEAR

[gor3sigil]

Trans drag performers deserve better.

Okay so since y'all seem interested, here we go.

[This is about MY experience as a “former” transmasc drag king, in my local scene. This isn't representative of the drag scene as a whole because drag is a wide, huge scene with pretty much any type of people in it. I have never done paid gig. I only performed a couple of times before deciding to stop.]

I discovered drag with RuPaul like a lot of people, and for a long time, I only knew about drag queens. It’s when I learned about an initiation to drag king happening in my town that I decided to try it. I did a bit of research before the event took place and that's how I learned that drag king is widely undocumented, compared to drag queen. A bit disheartening but I was excited to do something new and especially to get back in my local queer community after 2 years or so of “no contact” with it because trauma (see my post about my first T4T relationship to understand why).

First surprise when I got there, I was the only transmasc present as an attendee. The organiser and person who teached us is agender and go by he/him, and his at the time SO is a transmasc enby but appart from them, I was the only trans person. Most of the others were cis lesbian women. Makes sense. The initiation weekend went really well and we ended up performing in an open scene at the end. I can't count the amount of times I got misgendered by other kings during this weekend and I have to say, it pissed me off so fucking bad because I was the only one getting consistantly misgendered. But I brushed it off and had a blast.

My drag persona is more of a dragula king, really goth, and I did a lipsync performance on a Black Dresses song. I loved it and had a blast. A year or so later, we decided with other drag kings to do a little group to perform together.

Once again, I'm the only trans person.

And that's when the shitshow kinda happened. From all the drag kings present, I was also the only one who wasn't already part of a collective. So the group we had was composed of people from 2 collectives who would basically cheer each other out at every show, and it's great !! But I wasn't being integrated into the group, and I felt defeated. One of the main reasons why I didn't go to drag shows was because I was FLAT BROKE. I couldn't attend these events as they were always or in a bar so you have to at least buy a drink, or had a fee, and I couldn't afford that.

We started doing rehearsals and I set up a discord server for us all to use and organize the said rehearsals. It soon became apparent that they weren't really serious about this group, that they were more involved in their own collectives and it was HELL to have at least one rehearsal a month. But we had a show scheduled for september, and half of the kings weren't ready, didn't know their texts nor songs. I knew it was going to be bad. Also we were confirmed that the gig was going to actually happen 3 days only before, because the people who said they were going to do the visuals NEVER DID and we had to fumble something quick so the event was promoted very fucking late and we weren't sure we could even afford to do it, because not many tickets were sold.

During the rehearsals I got singled out for everything. My voice was dropping because of the T (I had started 8 months prior) and I tried to do my best with the singing parts but got told a few times that my low voice would sound “weird” amongst the sopranos. Also, one of the solo part a king was going to perform was on a very upbeat music and he said we could join IF WE WANTED.

I said I'd pass since it wasn't my style at all.

And when we got to the venue, the venue didn't have any backstage and I had my solo part just after that, so I couldn't just stand there on stage and do nothing. The others in my group KNEW IT as they had performed in this venue BEFORE but just told me “oh, too bad, improvise something” when they were the same ones who told me that taking part in the number was not mandatory.

Regarding the other artists, man, I hated everything. I got misgendered constantly IN KING LIKE - I'M A DRAG KING FFS. Even by others in my group.

When I corrected another performer, a cis gay dude, he laughed at my FACE and told me “but you're trans aren't you like, against gender or something ?”. As I was pre op and still early in my transition I was basically outing myself everytime I told my pronouns and I got so many cis performers ask me invasive questions about my sex life, or being like “yeah I have a trans friend who goes by X but I knew them as Y so it's Y to me but it's not in a disrespectful way you see”.

So yeah, I didn't have a great night. :)

The cis kings called me “girl” or “sis” because “I'm one of them” even after telling them time and time again that I wasn't comfortable with that.

And after this quite disastrous experience, the same ones who called me “girl” and me got into an argument because they wanted to change a song about forced toxic masculinity which is an INCREDIBLY POWERFUL AND BEAUTIFUL SONG into lyrics to talk about femininity. I said that we could use another song then, because there's so few cis men singers who sing about being forced into toxic masculinity and virility that I found that a bit disrespectful to take this important message and make it about women and femininity. There's plenty of songs about that that we could use.

And now guess what ? I was a MEAN MAN who wanted women to NOT TALK ABOUT THEIR ISSUES because I was a very MANLY DUDE DISGUSTING MALE.

The same people who couldn't gender me correctly and called me “sis” a WEEK BEFORE.

So yeah, I got the fuck out and gave up.

I really wish I can perform again one day, but it'll be in another scene.

So PSA: book drag kings, because they are so underrepresented it's disheartening, RESPECT trans drag performers, don't but bioessentialism in drag for the LOVE OF GOD IT'S DRAG. Like imagine being transphobic as a DRAG PERFORMER. Learn the history. And fucking do better.

[cas-writes-stuff-ig]

Cheering Her Up

f!/nb! reader x regina george (you love to make Regina feel better)

She calls you "duck" (ITS FUNNY/CUTE I PROMISE)

closeted bi Regina, and openly enby/lesbian reader

reader binds their chest with transtape/kt tape

secret relationship

cheering her up

Regina is taller than you

CONTENT: SO SO SO SORRY I KNOW IM WEIRD

Word Count: 1853

(Originally supposed to be a one shot)

kind of alludes to sex but not explicitly

Regina lets you write your own diss in her Burn Book, so Gretchen and Karen don't get suspicious as to why you're not in it. (a bit of transphobia and homophobia, t-slur/d-slur)

Past bullying and some self-deprication

Reader is a weirdo but Regina likes it

Reader likes classic rock and old hits, Regina pretends to despise it

She lashes out at you but its all good in the end :)

Reader likes to sing

Part 2 of Cheering Her Up (A Party)

a/n: this is a huge self-insert for me, I was really vibing to Bob Seger earlier (btw this is the second thing ive written in like 5 years spare me)

ALSO feel free to message or comment any feedback is appreciated 🙏

——————————————————————————————

Before the sophomore year, you were sure Regina totally despised you. She openly criticized any gay person she came across. Sophomore year, you were seated next to her in math and history, and you felt like you were going to be destroyed.

But when you came over to her house for a project, she asked "You have your first kiss yet?"

It caught you off guard. "Uh, no. Why?" your voice squeaked, although you knew she was a bitch. You were attracted to her.

She got close to your face and smirked, you could feel her breath on yours. "No reason," She grabbed the back of your head and kissed you. You didn't kiss back out of shock and Regina pulled away and went red, she opened her mouth to say something to excuse her actions, but you leaned in and kissed her again. That moment opened a whole new door for both of you.

After that, you and Regina got really close. Outside of the school halls, and in the comfort of Regina's mansion, you were secretly her best friend but also her friend with benefits. She isn't out yet either, she still has too much pride to be seen with a loser, but you don't mind waiting for her.

She was slightly nicer to you than others at school. She was actually pretty kind to you behind closed doors. She cared about you even if she never said it out loud. So about a month after you started hooking up, you were at her house and she handed you her Burn Book which was open to a blank page with only your picture on it. "I don't want Karen and Gretchen to get suspicious as to why you're not in it."

You could deal with the insults and the taunts, it never bothered you that much, so you wrote something that used to bother you 'Y/N L/N is a tranny dyke'.

The thing that did get to you was in 8th grade when you confessed to a girl, and she told everyone in your PE class that you watched girls change in the locker room. Everyone shunned you after that, but you grew thick skin. In freshman year you found your place amongst the loners and the nerds. You were content with it.

"Are you sure you want that in there?" Regina asked, what you wrote about yourself was harsh.

You nodded "Regina, I'm out of the closet already. It's a secret everybody already knows" You closed the book and handed it back to Regina and she tucked it away. "If I walk like a duck, swim like a duck, and quack like a duck, I'm probably a duck" She laughed at your joke, and you corrected yourself smiling "I mean dyke"

"You're so stupid" Regina replied, but it wasn't mean or full of scorn, she just shoved your shoulder. She changed your name to "Duck" in her contacts.

A week later you found out what your contact name was, you laughed at her a little and she got defensive "I'll change it then" and you quickly stopped laughing and took her phone.

"No no, keep it, please Regina it's cute" You yanked her phone out of her hand and tried to keep it away from her. You laughed again and ran around her room holding her phone, but she cornered you, pushing your chest, then your back hit the wall. You were breathless from running and grinned, though her face was stern. "I'm sorry, Gina. Please keep it, it's fine really"

The look on her face made you lose your confidence and you backed down, and handed her phone back, "Thanks loser" She tucked it back in her pocket, and she had a smug smile. "You're lucky I'm in a forgiving mood today" and tilted your chin up and kissed your lips.

After that day, it became one of your inside jokes, and "Duck" became one of your nicknames.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

That summer she invited you over to swim at her pool for the first time. "Hey loser, hurry up" she opened the door and led you to her pool.

You brought your only swim trunks and taped your breasts back to go swimming. She was in a tight bikini and she slipped in the pool, you took your shirt off, and she was staring at your body.

You weren't sporty, but you went to the gym, it's not like you had rock-hard abs, but you were toned and Regina hadn't seen you like that in the sunlight before, you beamed as you basked in the warm sun.

"Hey Duck, get in here" she beckoned you, you seized an opportunity to make a joke.

You bent your knees and flapped your arms a little walking back and forth at the edge of the pool "Quack quack" You giggled out. Regina cracked out a smile that evolved into laughter, her laugh warmed you more than the sunlight.

When you slipped into the pool, she was still laughing at you. "You're such a dumbass"

She splashed water at you when you tried to come and hug her in the pool. "Hey!" you yelped as the water got in your face and you splashed back.

After you just relaxed in the pool, you floated on your back, eyes closed, and sun-kissed skin. You didn't notice how Regina looked at you, but you heard water swish as she walked toward your floating body. You cracked an eye open, the sun was behind her making her look ethereal. Regina's blonde hair glowed, she looked like an angel, not the bitchy Queen Bee at school.

"Hey," you tried opening your eyes but just squinted.

She leaned down and said "Hey" back in her sweet voice and kissed you gently.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

The summer pushed you closer together, of course, she had her fair share of parties she went to with the Plastics. You were there at parties too, but you both only shot each other glances. The days she hung out with the Plastics, you missed her company.

You got your license over the summer and when you got the message that she was back home, you hopped in your Mini Cooper and drove to her house and picked her up. Though she usually drove you around in her Jeep.

"Where we heading today?" you asked as she hopped in the car

She ignored your question and her attention was on your music "Earth, Wind & Fire's 'September'? Really?" she criticized your music taste.

She buckled in and you said, "What's wrong with my music taste Regina?"

"God you really are a loser" she insulted, you could tell she was in a mood today. You were a little hurt but tried not to take it personally. "7-11 can you grab me a Diet Coke?" you nodded and started driving.

You skipped to the next song and what played was Bee Gee's "More Than A Woman" You smiled and sang along to it. Hoping Regina would get the hint you were singing it to her.

"Suddenly you're in my life, A part of everything I do. You got me workin' day and night. Just tryin' to keep a hold on you..." Your fingers tapped against the steering wheel and you moved your shoulders to the beat of the song.

She just groaned and pressed her temples, you thought she really hated it but from the corner of your eye, you saw a corner of her lip lift slightly. After seeing that you sang your heart out a little more at a red light you turned to her momentarily "More than a woman. More than a woman to me" and grinned wide.

"Hey! Keep your eyes on the road!" she pushed your head to look back at the road.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

At school when Junior year started, Regina and you acted like you two were nothing, you both devised a facade as to why you interacted at all. It was a half-truth, everyone at school thought Regina paid y/n to do their math homework. But you only did that sometimes, and usually just helped her.

Today when you met at her house she was upset about something. "Regina, what's wrong?" you asked worriedly.

"Nothing, stay out of it" she snapped at you and she stomped up the stairs to her room.

You followed her "Regina come on," she turned on her heel and looked at you angrily and lashed out.

"Why are you even here? You're not dating me, stop acting like it" She yelled at you.

You paused and your heart faltered "Regina..." you said quietly. She turned back around and she slammed her bedroom door. Regina crawled in the sheets and just went to sleep. You didn't follow her in. But you walked downstairs to her kitchen and opened her fridge.

When Regina woke up she smelled some kind of pastry downstairs and light music. She opened her door and crept down the stairs, as she approached the kitchen, she heard your humming.

The next song started to play, your back was turned and you were using her mom's apron and mittens, pulling out a batch of brownies from the oven. When you sang alone, you were cheesier and poured your heart into each song, then you placed the brownies onto a cooling rack on the island counter and pretended to hold a mic.

"Still like that old-time rock and roll. That kind of music just soothes the soul" You closed your eyes and turned around still pretending to hold a microphone "I reminisce about the days of old, with that old-time rock and roll" Regina just smiled stifling laughter.

But when you started playing air guitar, at the part with no lyrics. You heard her giggle and your eyes shot open, face reddening "Regina! You're up!" she just laughed at your incredible dorkiness and walked up to you, this was the highlight of her day.

You brushed off your embarrassment from getting caught when you saw how happy it made her. And you walked closer to her and continued to mouth the song and dance around her. Still wearing her mom's frilly apron. You took her hand and spun her around and she still laughed at your silliness.

You stopped and walked back to the counter where she followed, "Brownies?" you smiled.

"Yeah, sure" She sat down at the table and you cut two pieces out.

When you handed her a plate, she looked up at you and spoke softly "Sorry about earlier..."

You smiled softly and took her hand as you sat next to her "Its okay, don't worry about it" You let go of her hand and then asked, "You feeling better now?"

"Yeah, thanks duck" She leaned towards you and kissed your lips. "You're so fucking corny" Regina pulled away.

You smirked "You secretly love it"

"I do" She responded, you almost choked on your own spit at her admission. She reveled in your panic and took a bite of the brownie you made her.

Only you could make her smile like this, and laugh like this, you knew that, and you had your silent victory.

Part 2 of Cheering Her Up (A Party)

[hwatermelons]

seonghwa ⋆ salt water

⋆ i raise you 1 hwa to soothe your worries about your appearance. plus a beach date, turtles, and cuddling in your room ^^ ⋆ 1.0k words ⋆ bf!seonghwa x gn!reader ⋆ fluff/comfort/a little angst ⋆ warnings: unspecified body/facial image insecurities (tried to make it as general as possible). imagining other people's negative thoughts about the way you look. one kiss in public mentioned. in private, some chaste kisses on the lips and more on your face. mentions that the reader wore a modest swimsuit (up to the reader's definition of modest). ⋆ a/n: to all my gorgeous girls, beautiful boys, and enby hotties who aren't feeling the best about their appearance right this moment. me too. but you're more than your packaging, you're a whole gift. i don't take second opinions, and neither does seonghwa >:) ⋆ now playing: <the marías - cariño>

╭──────────────────────────.★..─╮ there's no better feeling than seonghwa's fingertips on your scalp as he delicately combs an organic styling gel through your hair, still damp from the shower. you lay on your shared bed with your head in his lap while scrolling through the photos of today's beach date. you two had had a lot of fun splashing around in the water, eating colorful ice cream and taking pictures. but most importantly, you'd felt confident in your own skin for a change. desirable, even. like you were good enough to stand next to seonghwa and he'd feel proud of being with you.

but these pictures...you couldn't believe you'd walked around the whole day, in that outfit, letting yourself look like that in public. it made you feel sorry for your boyfriend. how could he be seen with someone who so distinctly contrasted him like this? you weren't sure if you were imagining it, but in retrospect, maybe you were too distracted to hear the whispers of the other people at the beach. whispers that people like you shouldn't bother wearing something as bold as a swimsuit, even if it could be considered modest for one. that the man next to you was gorgeous, and was he single? and when he held your face in his hands and kissed you, you knew that all that was on their minds, and all you could think about now, was that he could do so much better.

"oh, my angel, come here." seonghwa's voice breaks through the fog of your thoughts, and you realize too late that you've said them aloud. he pulls you into a sitting position in his lap and rests his chin on your shoulder, your back to his chest. his hand continues to run through your hair, coating each strand with the product. "i don't want you to believe for one second that i could choose anyone over you," he says, closing his eyes and filling his lungs with the scent of your conditioner. "i couldn't settle for anything less."

seonghwa gently turns your head towards him and presses a kiss on the tip of your nose, his eyes twinkling at the flush rising to your cheeks. "every part of you is so beautiful," he whispers, letting his eyes roam across your face in awe, leaving no square inch neglected. "each wrinkle that appears when you smile, every hair on your skin. the way both of your hands disappear inside mine. but i especially love your ears--" he pauses to peck at the now bright red one closest to him, "--they're so expressive." pleased with himself, he leans back to admire his handiwork: the blushing mess he turned you into in under a minute.

still, you can't dismiss the doubt buried deep in your mind. even though seonghwa would never lie to you, this isn't just something you can believe that easily. despite years of your friends telling you that you looked absolutely stunning in your sweatpants and hoodies and months of your boyfriend being utterly unable to take his eyes off you, you never seemed to be able to view yourself that way. said boyfriend, however, isn't done.

"my favorite part of the day," he continues while smoothing the gel through your hair, "is just before i fall asleep. because i love seeing the worry on your face gradually be replaced by the peaceful expression you get when you rest. and each morning when i wake up to your adorable messy hair tickling my chin, i'm reminded of how grateful i am to be a part of your life." he buries his face into your neck and playfully nuzzles you, his nose tickling right below your ear. you have to stifle your laughter despite yourself.

"and beyond that, you're not just enough for me." your lifeline lifts his head to take in the full view of your face, before locking eyes with you. you almost look away at the sudden intensity of his gaze, but manage to hold on. "you're more than i've ever dreamed of, and you make every single day better just by being here with me. and it breaks my heart that you don't feel proud of yourself for that."

placing his clean hand over your own that's holding the phone, he scrolls to a picture he took of you smiling at an approaching sea turtle. it's a candid photo, and you remember that it was moments before you noticed him with your phone's camera pointed at you, safe in its waterproof sheath. by reflex, you'd shoved a mighty amount of seawater at the offending lenses. shrieking and laughing, seonghwa had half-run, half-swam back to shore, tossed your phone in its protective covering into your beach bag, and promptly returned to kick up a tidal wave into your face in retaliation. your lips naturally curve up at the memory.

"do you see that smile?" he points to the photo, then pokes your cheek when he sees the expression mirrored on your face. "be careful with it, because it's powerful. it can light up the darkest corners of the world and turn anyone's stressful day around in a second. trust me, i know firsthand." you blush again as seonghwa wipes away the last of the gel into his own drying hair and cups your face in his palms. your eyes slide closed, relaxing into his touch and breathing in the fresh scent of the product on his hands. "and as the one responsible for that smile, it hurts so much to see someone take it away. especially when it's someone who doesn't deserve to witness it in the first place." he kisses each of your eyelids, then your cheekbones, then after a nod from you, he presses a sweet kiss on your lips.

"and i will always, always be proud of being yours," he whispers against the upturned corners of your mouth.

╰─..★.──────────────────────────╯

⋆ likes/reblogs appreciated ⋆ do not repost ⋆ taglist: @mazeinthemiroh

[roodles03]

Huntlow sexuality and relationship headcannons:

Ever since the confirmation of Willow and Hunter's sexualites, I've been thinking a lot about their past experiences with love and crushes before. As well as how that affects their relationship currently. So let's waste no time. (This is gonna be a LONG post so be prepared.)

Willow:

Willow has had tons of crushes growing up, on boys, girls, and enby folk alike, but everytime they never went well. Whether she had the guts to ask them out or not, It was either someone way out of her reach, or someone who didn't like her back. (Or straight up didn't like her at all.) And worst of all, whenever Boscha and her gang found out about any sort of crush Willow had, they would tell the whole school and pick on her to death about it. This led to Willow eventually thinking that no one would ever see her that way. That no one would ever want to be her girlfriend. That she never had a chance with anyone she'd ever like. Whenever she developed a new crush, she wouldn't tell anyone. Not even Gus, and would bury and repress those feelings until they were gone.

However, everything would change when she met Hunter. Hunter was the first person to ever like her romantically, and even though he wouldn't confess for months, he showed clear signs with his body language that he, in fact, had feelings for her. However, Willow had dug herself in a hole so deep at this point that she never even noticed. Well, she did, but she had beat herself down so much that she just assumed Hunter was shy, or he was always nervous and flustered like that. After all, he had never interacted with peers his age until they met. He probably was always like this.

Willow had developed feelings for Hunter in the human realm, but the idea of having another crush was incredibly scary for her. Not to mention, the fact that it was on someone she was actually super close to made it downright mortifying. She knew her luck with crushes, and she bullied herself into a mindsight where she truly beileved Hunter would never in a million years like her back that way. The thought of him actually liking her was impossible in her eyes, so, she did what she did best whenever she had a crush. Repress her feelings until they went away.

However, this time they weren't going away. In fact, they were only growing stronger, and it terrified Willow. She didn't know how much longer she could hold these feelings in for, but then, during her meltdown in the detention pit, where Hunter saved her life from nearly suffocating herself, and told her just how much she meant to him, and that it was okay to let oneself feel things, she no longer began repressing her feelings for him. Which is why Willow didn't start blushing at him until then. She finally let herself feel romantic feelings again, and she immediately began showing Hunter how much he meant to her too. It wasn't long after that when Willow realized Hunter was showing obvious signs he liked her, not only that, but she realized that he only showed those signs around her and no one else, thirdly, he had been showing signs for months now that she was looking back.

Willow couldn't beileve it, someone liked her. Someone actually liked "half-a-witch Willow". The one thing she had to do now was confess her feelings for him, but somehow, doing that was just as terrifying as before. She holds off on it, but holds off for too long. Hunter starts attending Hexside, and her fears of being bullied for her crush return, and she has no idea what to do.

Hunter:

Despite queerphobia not existing in the demon realm, Hunter experienced it in an indirect way. Belos definitely was queerphobic, (I mean, come on, this is the man that killed his own brother for falling in love). and he definitely didn't want Hunter to learn about the LGBTIA community considering just how isolated he was. If Hunter fell in love with anyone that could spell a huge problem for his usefulness towards him.

So Hunter had absolutely no idea that queer people existed. However, he definitely experienced queerness in himself. In the little free time Hunter had, he read fictional books or watched movies and TV shows approved by Belos. Hunter didn't really know or understand it, but he would develop crushes on his favorite fictional characters, of both boys and girls. Sometimes even drawing self-insert fanart or writing self-insert fanfiction in his free time. Belos had literally never told him anything about queer people in hopes he'd never discovered it. This backfired as when Hunter first saw it when he found out Amity and Luz were dating, he didn't question it at all. He thought it was completely normal.

Hunter, at the time, definitely knew what romance was and that romantic feelings existed, but he had no idea how that felt. Hunter just assumed his feelings for those fictional characters were something everyone felt. However, this all changed when he met Willow. This was the first crush he had on a real person, and it was the first time he really noticed that he felt different towards her then anyone else he had ever met. It's the first time he notices this feeling. However, he had absolutely no idea what he was feeling. In fact, he thinks something is wrong with him. Like he's been cursed or has come down with some strange illness. This confusion continues when they get to the human realm, where Hunter's feelings only grow more. He learns more about queerness for Amity and Luz, picking up that what he's feeling is actually romantic love. This is when he looks back at those fictional characters he used to grow attached to, and then he realizes he's bisexual.

However, even after realizing all this, he's too scared to tell Willow how he feels. He thinks that she wouldn't see anything in him. That he doesn't have chance with such a powerful witch like Willow. It doesn't help that at this point, he's still hiding the fact he's a grimwalker, terrified at the fact that if she finds out she'll hate him. So he keeps his feelings inside and doesn't tell anybody, afraid he'll mess everything up. And even if that wasn't a factor, he had no idea how to express how to felt for her.

When Willow has her meltdown in the detention pit, Hunter is heartbroken to hear Willow say those things to herself. They're almost all things he has told himself before, and he can't stand to see her go through what he has gone through. He saves her, and tells her just how much she means to him, finally finding the words to say how he feels. This, of course, touches Willow immensely. And soon, Willow tells him how much he means to her, too, and that's when Hunter realizes he might have a slight chance with Willow now.

[rowanoke]

I was tagged by @kores-pomegranate and asked to share 10 songs!

Before I begin, I would also like to tag @mx-menace, @generalb, @cathacker13, @kawaii-pigeon, @catofspades and @zynysm. Of course, you're free to participate whether I tagged you or not!

Now, without further ado, 10 songs I'd like to share 😊

1. 134340 Pluto by Cojum Dip. I know a handful of my followers are big Tally Hall fans, and this has to be one of my favorite songs from a Tally Hall adjacent artist!

2. Fine by The Walnuts. I found this person on tik tok when I used to use it back in like 2020 and have been obsessed with this song ever since

3. Jack Daniel's by Lil Darkie and Wendigo. I'm not usually big on actual country music, but I do like music inspired by country music. So a country-rap song with political commentary is right up my alley.

4. Around by Honey Cellar. A small folk band from Chicago that I saw on my birthday last year, they quickly took the spot as my most-played artist on spotify, and this is my most-played song of theirs. Maybe not my absolute favorite, but I feel like it would have broad appeal.

5. Paper Girls by Vertigo. This band I discovered in 2018 when a local band with the same name was recommended to me by someone who knew the members, but I ended up finding 3 different bands called Vertigo and liked this one the best!

6. Naked in your Arms by Subtle Pride and Silver & Smoke. Subtle pride features the nonbinary actor that plays Casey in Atypical, and you know I love to plug an enby

7. Panacea for the Poison by Flobots. These guys made that song Handlebars that everyone knew in the late 2000s and early 2010s.

8. Monster you Made by Pop Evil. These guys headlined at the first concert I ever went to and I got this album autographed by the whole band!

9. Pyrokinesis by 7chariot. My boyfriend showed me this song last month and I've listened to it like at least once a day since!

10. 157 by Tom Rosenthal. This song is kinda long and kinda stupid but I love it so much it's like a friend to me now.

Anyway, there's 10 songs I think you should listen to. Up to you if you wanna check them out or play along!

[daisychainsandbowties]

how did you figure out that you’re nonbinary and that you specifically use they/them pronouns? /genq

oh okay so figuring out gender was a ‘casper is stupid for 17 entire years’ situation.

i basically came out of the cradle insisting that it was cringe and terrible of my parents to think of me as a girl. i was, emphatically, a Pokémon obsessed little guy since i could form entire sentences. but it was 2002, and frankly i was more concerned with how far i could spit and collecting spiders off the bushes to be worried about it. my parents (bless) were 100% cool with getting my clothes in the boys section & letting me do whatever i wanted (except get ice cream from the ice cream van every day. their one and only instance of homophobia 😔) so i didn’t really suffer, especially, beyond scowling at people in school when they dared to refer to me. 

it was pretty clear to me when i was 11 that having a cursed body was, indeed, going to be a curse. not worth mentioning how terrible and evil 11-14 was for me physically, tho to be fair i also took up swordfighting then so swings and roundabouts.

but yeah, around when i was 9 i knew there was a huge massive problem but then my mom got cancer (multiple myeloma) and… yeah gender crisis took a backseat while we watched her almost die about three times (pulmonory embolism, stem-cell transplant, getting shingles with no immune system bc chemo). my grandmother looked after me while Hospital.

unhelpful to the anti-trans-kids-existing demons bc she was also like intensely indulgent of my refusal to wear anything but my brazil football jersey. she let me eat nothing but artificial cheese slices put on a single slice of white bread and then microwaved because i had the massive trump card of not being allowed to see my mother for almost six months. i think she was grateful that i seemed to find the whole situation too serious to cry over. my best friend was a boy & he was pretty willing to be like ‘ok cool. ur not a girl. can we go on the trampoline?’ 

& then, when things calmed down & i was about 16/17, i had come out as gay (good for me) about two years before & then i realised i was oh fuck A Bit More Complicated than that i spent a while agonising over it. really a long walks on the beach pondering my gay ass type deal.

but then, just when i was kind of starting to vibe with being enby, I got really really sick, which lasted aboooout 5/6 years where it was just an old school platforming game but titled ‘casper tries not to die while trying to get a degree & two masters’). very do not pass go do not collect 200 of the universe to Do That. but hey. 

so it was around Pandemic when i finally got the brainspace to actually think, & i realised that i was definitely trans, probably nonbinary. i experimented for a while with different pronouns. realised my ‘dumbass nickname everyone has to call me’ was my ACTUAL NAME (never underestimate my stupidity and ignorance) & yeah at first i was thinking of going the hormones path (do not ever please god don’t get me started on how hard that is in this stupid bastard country. 5 years waiting period, on average. have to get diagnosed formally by a team of psychiatrists with what is characterised as a ‘mental illness’. have to ‘live’ - as Some Fucker sees it - as your ‘chosen’ gender for like two years AND be out to basically everybody - realistic and safe i say sarcastically i say while looking into the camera like i'm on the office - oh look i got started. anyway. bullshittery)

but eventually i realised huh nope i just wanted top surgery (same fucking deal with the health service tho) & for people to use they/them generally (i am not too fussed w/ pronouns for myself tho. like, a lot of my friends use he/him because frankly i deserve it most of the time with the himbo behaviour. professionally i insist on they/them for consistency. i get congnitive dissonance with she/her as in i get a weird shock & want to laugh & wonder who the fuck they’re talking about for a sec before i realise it’s me. but like, miffed too much i am not).

also gender is a big pendulum for me it’s an elliptic orbit sometimes for a few weeks i’m like a feminine guy and other times i feel like a masculine gay & sometimes i feel like the autism creature (bc i AM an autism creature, always). 

but i have, essentially, felt nonbinary always. trust me i have a pic of blue-eyed blond 5y/o me sitting on my bed in my Pokemon-themed room wearing a Manchester United jersey and holding my PS2 controller in my hands with a profoundly vacant and himboish expression on my face. it did fully take me 17 whole years to have my ‘oh’ moment about it, but a lot of that was profoundly indulgent parents who were you can’t even imagine how determined to not raise me the way they were raised - which meant, apparently, that if i wanted to be a spider-collecting, bug obsessed pokémon-fixated little guy who kept snapping branches off the bamboo and fashioning makeshift swords out of them - well then that was the creature they’d send to school every day. 

i think the tldr here is: casper stupid. gender a concept. 

[chronicallybloodless]

Heavy to Hold - Chapter 2

Cravings

Pairing: Astarion x enby!tav Status: in progress Rating: Explicit (18+ only) Genre: angst/comfort | slow burn Alternating second-person POV Contains spoilers for the whole game basically TW: it's an astarion fic: descriptions of trauma, abuse, sexual violence, etc. | smut | full tag list on AO3 Read from the beginning: AO3 | Tumblr Listen to the Playlist

Tav, a nonbinary Drow bard, encounters Astarion late one night in Baldur's Gate. Their subsequent abduction by mind flayers brings them back together as they try to reckon with their pasts, their present, and their future as the world around them spirals toward oblivion.

“Oh I’m not much for parties. I prefer my social engagements to be a bit more…..intimate.” You found yourself moving quickly with that implication, but something within you was telling you that you needed to experience everything you could with them before you had to give them up to Cazador. The look you got in response told you the feeling was mutual.

!! This chapter contains mentions of sexual violence / rape and allusions to suicide !!

Read on AO3

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Astarion's POV

It was another night like any other, at least as far as you could recall. Every night for 200 years had been the same: wait for dusk to settle over Baldur’s Gate, go out into the city, and find some hapless person to charm. Your nightly routine started with a tour of all the local taverns, casting knowing glances and ordering drinks to soften up a few future targets. You had dates and dances, midnight rendezvous with people of all sorts. All with the goal of getting them to trust you enough to return with you to Szarr Manor, where you would bed them in the most luxurious room most of them would ever see in their lives.

Every night you found yourself surrounded by a walking buffet of potential food—vibrant, fresh, teeming with life. But your master, Cazador, forbade you from partaking in blood from living people. Instead, your catch would be sent off to your master’s chambers, and in exchange you would receive a rat. If you were lucky, it wouldn’t even have plague. It usually did though.

Yours was a lonely existence. You had siblings in the form of your fellow spawn, but Cazador made sure that the relationship between the seven of you was purely competitive. The staff of the manor were wholly consumed by their service to the Szarr family and had little time for spawn. And of course, you had more lovers than you could even recall, but you never got to enjoy them for more than a few days. They were prey, not pets, and certainly not partners.

The last time you kept stringing one along for more than a month, you turned up at their bedroom window one night to find that your dearest brother had decapitated them and left their headless body for you to find. When you returned to the manor, Cazador had Godey lock you in a closet with the head for a month, and you had to watch as the head of your former lover rotted away, eaten by bugs and the very same dungeon rats that would later become your dinner.

Never again, you told yourself. When you were finally let out from your confinement, you scoffed that you had only been reveling in that poor person’s pathetic attentions. A plaything, nothing more, you insisted. But a small voice inside you knew that wasn’t the whole truth. You let yourself get attached, you had started to care. And just as quickly, that attachment was used to remind you how little control you had over your life.

You learned to turn off your mind, separate it from your body, so you could get your work done without dealing with doubts hanging over you. Night after night, you locked a part of your mind away and let your body and voice betray the trust of anyone fool enough to hold your gaze. You made yourself everything they ever wanted, the perfect lover. And they became the perfect victims.

You had become quite good at your job, as your talent for smooth talking could easily get you into the minds—and beds—of your victims within a few well-played interactions. It became a point of pride for you that you seldom had to resort to brute force to retrieve your prey. After all, Cazador preferred his food unblemished. You were a tool for your vampire lord, and your sole purpose was to do whatever he bid, even if he never seemed to appreciate it.

You couldn’t recall if it had always been this way, or what you were like before you became a spawn. Maybe you were always this uncaring, but the twinges of doubt that crossed your mind—and the ache in your chest where your unbeating heart laid dormant—suggested that perhaps you weren’t.

It didn’t matter now. It couldn’t matter now. You belonged to Cazador, and you had to follow his rules.

*****

With your rounds completed early and no one quite primed enough to come back with you to the manor tonight, you had several hours before the rising sun would force you back indoors. On nights like these, you liked to sit along the beach and listen to the waves. It was comforting, somehow.

You couldn’t remember when you started, but it was one of your favorite things to do when you had a free moment. The small beaches along the edge of Wyrm’s crossing were your preferred spots, mostly because no one else seemed to go there.

As you made your way down the lamplit streets, you heard a muffled scream rise above the usual cacophony of the city’s nightlife.

Someone is either having a really good time or a really bad time, you mused to yourself.

*****

You cozied up on your favorite rocks on the shoreline and watched the waves. You stared wistfully at the night sky—the only sky you were able to see safely. It was a full moon, which was enough reflected sunlight to make your eyes sting ever so slightly. You laid your head back and closed your eyes, eager to sink into the comforting rhythm of the lapping tides.

You had only closed your eyes for a few minutes when you heard the sound of someone else on the beach. Your eyes shot open, only to see someone in an elaborate but tattered ensemble stumble past you barefoot, seemingly unaware of your presence.

As you tried to make sense of what you were seeing, you were suddenly struck with the most delicious smell. This mystery person was bleeding, and their blood smelled more delectable than anything you had experienced in your life. It saddened you that you wouldn’t get to taste them for yourself.

They still hadn’t noticed your presence, and had found themselves a seat on a rock further into the sea. They didn’t seem to notice that the tide was rising, or that they were already up to their ankles in water.

Someone’s had a bad night. You thought to yourself. You felt a twinge of sadness for this person, as you had a sense that if no one intervened, they would be content to sit on that rock until the tides pulled them into the bay. You sighed as you realized what you should do.

Might as well divert them into a different death and save myself some effort. I can always leave the clothes here just in case someone comes looking for them later. Hells, maybe they already wrote a note.

You steeled yourself, readying yourself to wall off your mind and get your work done. The hoarse sobbing coming from your victim wasn’t making that easy, and neither was the delectable smell.

“Um…..pardon the interruption.” You said quietly. They were cleared startled by your presence and turned to look up at you with wide, tear-stained eyes. Red tear-stained eyes, you couldn’t help but notice. Now that you were closer, you could see that your mystery person was a Drow. The pale skin had thrown you off, but you recalled an old history lesson about the rare pale Drow and their infamous clandestine activities above the surface in service of Lolth.

You paused for a moment, contemplating what such a person would be doing out here like this, and then you noticed their clothes. They were torn, but they were clearly an approximation of a priestess’s robes, only more…..sensual. Obviously someone on a spying mission wouldn’t be walking around like that, which suggested their intended use was for a different kind of worship.

The scream you heard earlier was starting to make sense. Your thoughts were tangled between feeling pity that they had been mistreated and the knowledge that they could disappear without too much of a fuss. And then there was the matter of the blood that was matted in their soft, white hair, begging you to have a taste.

“Are you alright?” You asked, a stupid question given the clear evidence, but it felt like the polite thing to do. “You uh……Well you’re bleeding, darling, and somehow I doubt that your attire is a purposeful fashion statement.”

They looked back at you with wide eyes, seemingly having trouble understanding your words. They suddenly looked down at their exposed body and their cheeks flushed with embarrassment. You decided to be a gentleman and keep your gaze towards the waves instead, but there was little left of that outfit to leave anything to the imagination.

“Oh gods….” They groaned and began to cough, seemingly in pain. Comfort and chivalry seemed to be the correct tactic here, so you removed your coat and placed it gently around their shoulders. It still didn’t really cover anything, but it’s the thought that counts in these situations. Now it was time to turn on the charm.

“It wouldn’t do for one of the most beautiful Elves in Baldur’s Gate to catch a cold, now would it?” You smiled at them while you spoke, holding their gaze. Their pale complexion and red eyes reminded you of your siblings. You wondered if you looked like that too, but then you noticed the softness—there wasn’t a hint of malice in those eyes, only hurt and vulnerability. They furrowed their brow as they gazed back at you, and the more your eyes met, the harder it was becoming for you to keep your mind on your task.

“I’m….a Drow, actually……” They dropped their head as they spoke, as if they were ashamed of the words.

“Well, what is a Drow but an Elf that needs a bit more time in the sunlight? Gods know I’m not one to talk when it comes to that.” You chuckled as you spoke, hoping to set their mind at ease. Drow or not, blood was blood. “But, I do stand corrected: It wouldn’t do for the most beautiful Drow in Baldur’s Gate to catch cold, would it?”

They barely blinked as they smiled at you, their eyes still locked on yours. You had them.

“The most beautiful Drow?” They retorted with a smirk, seemingly having become a bit more grounded due to your efforts. “Have you conducted a thorough survey to back up a claim like that?”

Maybe you didn’t have them just yet. Time to up the ante.

“Well…..” You pulled out one of your favorite moves, carefully pacing your words while you ran your fingers through your hair. That alone had gotten you into more beds than you could count. “Let’s just say that I have encountered quite a few beautiful people in this fine city, and among them all you are one of the most memorable.” It was intended as an empty compliment, but that pit in your chest ached from knowing it was true.

“Memorable is certainly a word for it.” They sighed with a mixture of exhaustion and embarrassment. “I assume most of the beautiful people you encounter are properly clothed and aren’t actively bleeding?”

“Depends on the night.” You chuckled to block out the images that came flooding into your mind.

“Remind me not to go to any of your parties.” They mused with a smile. You should have expected that a creature of the night would have a dark sense of humor. It was a welcome respite from the normal tavern banter that filled your evenings.

“Oh I’m not much for parties. I prefer my social engagements to be a bit more…..intimate.” You found yourself moving quickly with that implication, but something within you was telling you that you needed to experience everything you could with them before you had to give them up to Cazador. The look you got in response told you the feeling was mutual.

You gently brushed their hair behind their ear, a first touch to test the waters.

That’s when you noticed the bruises. Deep purple, in the clear shape of a hand grip.

“Gods, what brutish creature did this to you?” You whispered. Such a display wasn’t likely to please Cazador, and you found yourself wishing you had stumbled upon whoever had done this instead—someone who would have deserved the violence that you were leading to.

“Just a…uh…..work accident.” They replied quietly. That earlier glimmer of confidence had vanished.

“Well, I just hope that whatever monster is responsible finds themselves in a positively dreadful accident themselves.” You huffed. The fact that they aren’t telling you more suggests you should move on to other topics. In this state, they might not have a home to return to tonight, which gives you an opening. “Do you have somewhere to go tonight?” you asked, hoping the answer was no.

“What?” They questioned. Perhaps you were moving a bit fast. “Oh I, yeah I have a place. I just…..I guess I just needed some space and air.”

They must work at the Caress, you thought to yourself. Despite having some of the finest wine in the city, you avoided going in there. The times you had, there was an air of emptiness that reminded you of home. The ache in your core grew stronger.

“Am I intruding? I hate to interrupt a good brood.” Against your better judgement, you opened a door for them to escape this fate. All they had to do was walk through it.

“No, no, I appreciate the company.”

Fuck.

“Well I aim to please,” You said with a coy smile covering your disappointment. “Please feel free to let me know if I’ve overstayed my welcome at any point.”

“Somehow I don’t see that happening.” They said as they leaned towards you.

You had them.

You wrapped your arm around their waist and pulled them closer, a gentle moan escaping from their parted lips. This was the time you needed to stop thinking and just do, but your mind was stubbornly refusing to fade into the background. You were going to feel every part of this, and it was going to hurt.

“You know, I’ve just realized that I never asked your name. How dreadfully ungentlemanly of me.” You spoke your words slowly as you gently caressed their head, the pit in your stomach weighing heavily on your conscious. You knew their name would be etched into your mind for an eternity.

“It’s Tav.” They replied, their eyes firmly fixed on yours. You were about to lean in for a kiss when your hand brushed against the wound on their head, causing them to yelp in response. They touched the spot, and their hand came away covered in droplets of blood.

“Gods, that is fresh. My apologies, Tav.” You tried to conceal your excitement. The rule was that you weren’t allowed to feed on a person, there wasn’t anything that said that if a person happened to get blood on you you wouldn’t be allowed to have a taste. Your first taste of fresh, real blood was within your grasp.

You held their gaze and grabbed their hand gently in yours. You waited to see if they would pull away, but they remained steady, eyes eager. You brought their fingers to your mouth and sucked the blood from their fingertips. You closed your eyes, trying to hide the sheer ecstasy of experiencing their taste. You wondered for a moment whether everyone tasted this good or if Tav was somehow extra delicious.

“No it’s alright, I was just startled,” They said through heavy breaths. They were clearly enjoying themselves and hoping for more. The feeling was mutual, but you were also trying to figure out how you could get another taste.

You guided them onto their back in the soft sand and knelt beside them. You leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on their wounded head, taking in whatever taste and smell you could. It was mostly dry at this point, but it was still intoxicating. You sighed in pleasure and straddled them, gazing down at their contented expression.

“You know, I never got your name either.” They said as they ran their hand under your shirt. You hoped they didn’t notice the coolness of your skin or the soft moan their touch had elicited.

“Astarion.” You said, hoping to every god there was that they would forget. Your insides felt twisted—every fiber of your body wanted them, as the growing tightness of your pants was clearly demonstrating, but your mind wanted to find a way to spare them from the horrid fate that Cazador had in store for them. You wanted to run, to leave them and let them be safe, but if you did that you would never be able to see them again, much less feel them in the ways you so desperately wanted to.

Cazador’s words echoed in your head—people are beneath us, they exist to be used.

You ran your hand along the side of their face, steeling your resolve. Better to enjoy them, even if it was brief. You had so few moments of genuine pleasure in your life, after all. Why deny yourself this?

They shivered underneath you, their breathing rapid as their chest responded to the night air. You felt your cock stiffen at the sight.

You pressed your lips to the base of their ear and they moaned, urging you on. They bucked their hips against you, pulling a moan from your throat.

“So impatient,” You chided, your lips brushing their ear. You gave their earlobe a gentle bite, being careful to avoid using your fangs.

Their hips rose again, desperate for touch, but you weren’t finished enjoying the foreplay yet. You adjusted your stance so that one of your legs fell between theirs, and they responded by grinding against your thigh and moaning hungrily. Their bare skin was rubbing the thin cloth of your pants, and you could feel the wetness against your skin.

“Gods, you sound beautiful.” You started to kiss their neck and the smell of the pooled blood in their bruises filled your nostrils. “You are making it painfully hard to control myself.”

“I don’t recall asking you to control yourself,” They pouted, blissfully unaware of how desperately you wanted to sink your teeth into their neck.

In that moment, you didn’t care what Cazador or anyone else did to you. You had to know what their blood would taste like filling your mouth.

Just as you were about to plunge your fangs into their neck, you sensed movement near you on the beach. Shit, one of the others must be watching. You pulled away, trying to determine where you were being watched from.

They whined in displeasure as you pulled away. You held a finger over their lips.

“Something’s out there.” you muttered as you surveyed the darkness for any signs of movement.

“Are you sure?” Tav whispered, their voice trembling.

“My ears do not lie.” You couldn’t see anything, but you knew to trust your senses. “Perhaps we should go elsewhere.”

“My room isn’t far from here” They offered as you pulled them to their feet, draping your coat back around their shoulders as you guided them away from the shoreline. You had only taken a few steps forward when you felt a presence behind you.

“Fuck.”

You turned to find a Mindflayer a handful of feet behind you. Knife striking distance if you could move fast enough. Maybe you could startle it, buy some time. Save yourself—save them.

You weren’t fast enough.

*****

When you awoke, you were locked in a strange pod, alone. Between fitful bits of sleep, you could have sworn you saw their ghost walk past you in whatever hell you were suspended in.

[thebloggingfox]

Hey after fucking 8 years on a waiting list I finally had my first 2 appointment with the Gender Identity Clinic. I had my top surgery last year privately thanks to some amazing monetary support from mainly 3 close family members but also from a whole lot of people I barely knew or didn't know at all.

But now I'm finally going on T, am getting speech therapy and also going to join a enby group.

Still a few months of referrals and blood tests but I'll be on T by the end of 2023 I am excited. It is just a low dose but there's lot I'm looking forward to.

I'm wondering anyone who has been/is on T would be willing to tell me their best thing about being on T?

Like what was the best change for you?

What were you most looking forward to?

What was something unexpected?

Is there anything you wish you had been told or warned about?

[universal-kitty]

   Speaking of my boyf, hE DRAGGED ME INTO PLAYING STARDEW VALLEY so now I technically have an SI for Stardew.....however, do not attempt to ask me who I’m romancing! If anyone! Because I’m still new to the game and I’ve been doing little more than working on the farm with Cam.

   ....but I’ve been eyeing a few people, I just...don’t know them well enough yet...

   ANYWAYS, I started game as amab for Serotonin and-!!! It’s weird! I get to see masc pronouns for me!!! But I also love it! THIS IS SO NICE, I GET TO BE A LONG-HAIRED, HE/HIM PERSON........ HOH.

[ichorai]

lover's day ; poe dameron.

track eleven of DEAR SCIENCE.

pairing ; poe dameron x mechanic!gn!reader

synopsis ; you used to think lover’s day was an utterly stupid holiday. well, that is, until poe came around.

words ; 1.7k

themes ; fluff, very slight angst, mechanic au

warnings / includes ; suggestive, implications of sex, cursing, mentions of the war, reader has trouble expressing emotions, very sappy (disgustingly so), poe is a lovesick bastard :(

main masterlist.

Lover’s day was, in your professional opinion, stupid. 

The very concept of dedicating a whole day to an egregious amount of lovesick slobbering made your stomach roil. Couples were near unbearable this time of year, the decorations were definitely an eye sore, and the number of men and women and enbies alike trying to rope you into a relationship you just knew wouldn’t last longer than two weeks couldn’t even be counted with your two hands.

But it brought people joy—and joy was a sparse feeling in such trying times.

So you swallowed your complaints, plastering on a fake smile as you pulled another piece of heart-shaped confetti out of your hair. The other mechanics had dragged you to a huge party and it would’ve been fun if they hadn’t immediately abandoned you to have quickies with their significant others in dingy hallways and bathrooms.

Damn this holiday.

It went on like this for years—there was once or twice you had a partner to accompany you but it wasn’t ever anything serious.

Well, that was before Poe came around.

He came into your life with bright smiles and flirtatious exuberance, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t immediately smitten with him. He hadn’t known that at first—in fact, the first six months he knew you, he genuinely thought you hated his guts. Completely ignoring someone the first few times you crossed paths might’ve somewhat contributed to that.

Hey, it wasn’t your fault you weren’t very good at openly translating your affection. Especially not when Poe was so very forward. It took you a long while to realize that the hands on your back, the lingering heart-eyed stares, the endearing nicknames—those weren’t at all platonic. The self-dubbed ‘best pilot’ in the resistance wasn’t a very subtle man. You were just an incredibly good denier-of-emotions.

Poe confessed to you three months prior to lover’s day.

He did so by accident, really. It blurted out when you were discussing places you could find X-Wing scraps, black grease smudged across your cheeks and nose, gently tapping a cold wrench against your chin in thought. 

You just—you looked so beautiful right then. Poe couldn’t help himself.

“I really like you,” he had breathed out, staring at you with a newfound sort of awe, lips slightly parted.

You spared him a strange glance, an amused snort rumbling from your throat. “Okay, weirdo. You’re cool, too, I guess.”

“No, you don’t get it,” Poe said, feeling emboldened. He took the wrench from your hands to slot it into your utility belt clipped around your hips, stepping ever so close. You blinked at him in surprise. “I like like you.”

A hot flush clawed at your chest when you realized what he was on about. “Oh,” you mumbled, averting your gaze, suddenly flustered. And, much to his surprised delight, you parroted, “I like like you, too, Fly Boy.”

The first time he kissed you, there were no fireworks, no explosive passion, no feverish desperation. Only bumping noses and gentle smiles.

The three months with Poe Dameron floated by like a dream. You were the resistance’s most famed power couple—the constant attention from the rest of your peers on base wasn’t something you were quite keen on, but you were willing to put up with it for Poe.

And then lover’s day finally rolled around.

You sat up sleepily in bed the morning of, muffling a low yawn with the back of your palm. You blanched after a quick glance at the clock—shit, the two of you long overslept. Poe was still asleep beside you, arm tightly wound around your bare midriff and his face pressed into your pillow. It amused you to see sleep-lines divoting his stubbled cheeks. He stirred when you moved, mumbling something under his breath that suspiciously sounded like, “Five more minutes. After what we did yesterday, I deserve my beauty sleep.”

Brief memories of the heated session you had yesterday drifted by the front of your mind, but you quickly shoved it back down. No time to be distracted now.

“Five minutes means anywhere from ten to thirty minutes to you,” you whispered in return, leaning back down to press a sweet kiss to his hairline. He preened beneath your touch and you had to fight back a fond grin. “Come on, Dameron. We have to get up soon—there’s a huge party today.”

“Party…?” Poe opened a bleary eye, squinting in mild confusion. Then, it dawned upon him. “Oh! Lover’s day! Holy shit, baby, it’s lover’s day!”

Immediately, he sat up right beside you, winding his limbs over yours to roll you over and smother your face with an onslaught of sloppy, overexaggerated kisses while rasping out, “Happy lover’s day, baby.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at his ministrations, shoving at his bare shoulders fruitlessly before giving in, burying your hands within his messy mass of dark curls. He groaned at the way you lightly scratched at his scalp, humming in content when your lips slotted over his.

“I hate lover’s day,” you whispered when he pulled away to kiss down your jaw. “Well, hate might be a strong word. I just never saw the point of any of it.”

Poe drew back and scrutinized you with quizzical eyes. “That can’t be true. I’ve seen you at all the parties starting from years before!”

“And did I ever look like I was having fun?” you asked, nearly wincing when Poe pulled a sour face.

His grip on you tightened. “You’ll love it this year. This year you’re with me.”

“You’re one cocky bastard, Dameron,” you muttered, to which he playfully nipped at your bottom lip. You pretended to roll your eyes with annoyance.

Then, with enough sappy affection to make you gag, he moved up to nuzzle his nose over yours. “You love that about me.”

A faux-begrudging sound escaped your throat and you bobbed your head once. “Yeah,” you said whilst kissing him sweetly, “I guess I do.”

A part of you was slightly worried. Was Poe going to be like all the others and immediately forget about you as soon as you got to the party?

It seemed that he was hell-bent on proving you wrong—lover’s day was a wonderful time in his eyes. It wasn’t only for couples, not really. It was for family, for friends, and lovers of all kinds. It was a day for love to flourish because, let’s face it, the ongoing war often made you forget just how much love there was in the world. Not everything was fear or anger or sadness. Love was always going to be there.

Poe taught you it was alright to love. There was no shame in loving so irrevocably, even when everything around you was crumbling to ash.

This year, the party didn’t feel so unbearable. The decorations didn’t seem pretentious or over-the-top, your mechanic-acquaintances were lovely to talk to, and everything went by just fine.

Sure, there were those annoying couples who were half-naked in the corner of the rooms, the hallways, and the bathrooms, but they were easy to evade if you stuck to the heart of the party. 

It was just… strange for you to be enjoying yourself so much. Maybe it was never the holiday itself you were against—maybe it just felt wrong to be celebrating something so trivial when there was so much darkness in the world. 

But you had fun, and that was all thanks to Poe. 

Finn and Chewbacca were playing a rowdy game of Holochess, and you and Poe were cheering on Chewie, much to Finn’s exasperation. Rose and Rey were playing a sort of drinking game that you only partook in for a couple rounds before you had to bow out—you weren’t too keen on getting drunk in such a crowded place. 

Hours later, Poe had noticed that your smile was starting to slip from your lips as you talked to an over-egotistical mechanic that he knew you didn’t like very much, so he quickly excused himself from the throng of pilots he was talking to, and weaved his way towards you. 

“Hey,” he greeted, fondly pressing his lips against your temple. You sagged against him slightly in relief. “Sorry to butt in, but I’m exhausted. What do you say we get out of here?”

You shot the annoying mechanic an apologetic slant of your mouth before nodding, turning away from the party with a salute of goodbye to Finn and Rey by the bar. 

“Maker, am I glad you showed up,” you said once you were far enough away, the music dimming down to a low hum. “Another word from him, and I would’ve decked him in the face. Asshole deserves a good knocking, anyways.”

Poe patted your shoulder with a chuckle. “I know, baby.”

The two of you reached your quarters, and you quickly keyed in the code, standing back as the door whooshed open. Poe sauntered in, collapsing into your bed with a groan. “Mmh, I’m never getting up ever again.” 

You toed off your shoes before crawling onto your mattress, curling up beside him. He smelled utterly delectable, like cocoa beans and faint cinnamon spices. You inhaled shallowly, eyes slipping shut with utter bliss. It was silent for a couple moments before you willed the courage to mutter, “Thank you.”

Poe glanced at you uncertainly. “For what?”

A hand lifted to trace undefinable patterns against his chest. “I don’t know. For showing me that it’s alright to love, even when it seems pointless?”

His molted gaze seemed to soften impossibly more. “Maker, you mean everything to me, you know that? I love you so much. And it’s worth it, for the record. All of this. Even if it means me losing you or you losing me. Love is worth it.”

“You’re a sap, Poe Dameron. And I love you for it.” The latter sentence was said quietly, tentative in nature. Loving with no shame still felt so unfamiliar to you. Rolling onto your stomach, you pressed a fluttering kiss to his nose, then two over his eyelids. There was a painful lump in your throat. “I guess lover’s day isn’t that terrible after all,” you finally susurrated against him, running a slow hand further down his pectorals and abdomen.

Poe could only bark out half a laugh before you stole away his noises of joy with your lips.

[thetravelerwrites]

Akuji (Part 2)

Rating: Explicit Relationships: Non-Binary Human/Non-Binary Lizardfolk Additional Tags: Exophilia, Monster Boyfriend, NonBinary, Enby, Lizardfolk Content Warnings: Sex, Relationship Insecurity, Talks of Marriage Words: 2881

After attending a friend's wedding, the reader begins to feel insecure in their relationship with Akuji. Please leave feedback! 

The Traveler’s Masterlist

“Hey, babe, look at this!” Akuji said one day after coming back inside after checking the mail. “Duffy and Jordan are getting married!” 

“No way!” You said, getting up off the couch and taking the invitation that Akuji held out to you. “I didn’t even know Duffy popped the question! Good for them!” 

“It’s several months away,” Akuji said, pointing at the date. “And it’s norse-themed. I wonder what that means.” 

You laughed. “We’ll have to do some googling, I guess. I bet it’ll be amazing, though. Have you ever been to a human wedding?” 

Akuji shook their head. “I’ve never been invited to one before.” 

“Don’t feel bad, I’ve been to maybe one my whole life, and that was only because it was my sister’s and I was a member of the wedding party.” 

“Oh yeah?” They asked. “As what?” 

“Her person of honor,” You said. “I actually came out as nonbinary to her just before the wedding so that she wouldn’t give me a gendered position. I was worried that she wouldn’t accept it or that she’d be angry at me for choosing to tell her right before her big day, but she was surprisingly cool about it.”

“That’s good,” They said, wrapping you in their arms. “I bet you look cute in formal attire.” 

You snorted. “Don’t be so sure about that. The pictures are less than flattering.” 

“Ooooh, there are pictures?!” They said excitedly. “Are they on the computer? I’mma go check!” 

“No, Akuji, don’t!” You said, chasing him down the hall. “I swear to god, if you print them out and hang them in the bathroom like you did with my graduation pictures, I will never speak to you again!” 

They cackled and dashed out of your reach.

Duffy’s wedding was beautiful. You first met Duffy as the host of your favorite restaurant, and he had become a friend to you and Akuji over the years. Since it was a norse-themed wedding, you wore a hand-woven linen tunic and tabard with Duffy’s traditional family’s seal embroidered on it that had been provided for Duffy’s closest friends. Akuji wore something similar and filled it out a lot better than you, you thought. They looked amazing. Despite the unusual theme, it was a lot of fun, especially the traditional feast during the reception and the group folk dances.

Watching Duffy and his partner exchange vows gave you a strange feeling, though; a deep uneasiness that took root in your mind and wouldn’t let up. You and Akuji had been dating for about six years, and they’d never once brought up the subject of marriage. Neither had you, since you hadn’t really given it any serious thought before now, but… it did make you wonder if they were really as serious about their relationship with you as you were. 

You knew they loved you and that they weren’t planning on leaving you, but it just felt a little like… they wanted to keep the option to leave open, and it made you feel… a little insecure.

“You’ve been a little quiet since the wedding,” Akuji said after the two of you got home. “Everything alright? You didn’t drink too much, did you?” 

“No, I’m fine,” You said, deflecting. “I guess I’m a little tired.” 

“Yeah, it was a long day,” They said. “It was fun, but it was a lot. I think I’m going to take a shower.” 

You came up behind him and put your arms around their waist, your fingers sliding downward toward their crotch. “Can I join you?” 

They smirked. “I thought you were tired.” 

You cuddled them in. “I am, but I still want to.” 

“Alright,” They said, turning around  and starting to undress you slowly. 

To be honest, you were initiating sex because you wanted to take your mind off of your new concern, and you wanted to feel as close to Akuji as possible, both physically and emotionally. Being intimate was as close as you could get. 

The two of you walked into the bathroom, and they turned on the shower. They tended to like it very hot, since they were cold-blooded, but they made sure to modify the temperature for your sake, which was sweet. They was always thinking of you and being considerate of your needs, so you knew they cared about you very much, but you still felt… anxious. 

You knelt down in front of them and took their length in your hands, stroking and fondling it a little until it was rock hard, and sucked it into your mouth forcefully. You reached underneath and gripped their balls firmly, rolling them in the palm of your hand. They groaned sharply and their legs shuddered. Their three-fingered hands sifted through your short hair and then gripped it tight, thrusting into your mouth as you sucked.

“Oh, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” They wheezed, and they gushed down your throat as they jerked and pulsed. “You’re so good at that. Come here and let me return the favor.” 

You wiped your mouth and shook your head. “You don’t have to today. I’m good.” 

They frowned and tilted their head. “Are you sure?” 

You stood back up and nodded, putting your arms around their neck. “I’m sure. I’m really tired. I’ll be plenty happy with a kiss.” 

“Okay,” They said uncertainly, kissing your lips. “If you’re sure.” 

“I am,” You replied, and kissed them deeply. 

After the shower, the two of you watched some TV together to wind down and then eventually went to bed, where they began to initiate intimacy a second time. Perhaps they felt a little guilty that they had gotten theirs but you hadn’t. They were very much a reciprocal person and didn’t like the idea of their partner being left unsatisfied. Turning them down would stir up their unease again, and you didn’t want that. Besides, they were very good at it. 

The next few weeks went by as normal, except that the worry about marriage kept eating at the back of your mind, but you tried not to act weird about it. You’d known several relationships that had fallen apart the second marriage was even mentioned, and you didn’t want that to happen between you and Akuji. They were the best partner you’d ever had and the idea of losing them over something that you weren’t even sure you wanted was the worst thing you could imagine.

Two weeks after the wedding, Duffy and his partner had returned from their honeymoon, and had invited you and Akuji and a few other close friends to a dinner party to show you the pictures they had taken of their honeymoon destination. You brought several bottles of moscato to drink with dessert as a gift.

“How was the honeymoon?” You asked over duck a l'orange. 

“Amazing,” Jordan said. “I didn’t realize how beautiful Norway was. The mountains there outside of the cabin we were renting are like nothing I’ve ever seen before, it was like being in a fairy tale.” 

“That does really sound incredible,” You said. “I’ll definitely have to add it to my bucket list of places to visit.” 

“Definitely do,” Jordan said. “I was skeptical when Duffy brought it up for our honeymoon, but I’ll never doubt him again.”

Akuji poured himself a refill of the dry sauvignon blanc you were all drinking with dinner, emptying the bottle into their glass. “Oh, we need a new bottle.” 

“I’ll get it,” You said instantly, standing up. “Do you want anything else while I’m up?” 

“No, I’m alright, babe, thanks,” They said. Duffy narrowed his eyes at you, as if trying to figure something out. 

After a few hours, when dinner and dessert had been consumed and the group of you had gone out on the back patio to enjoy the nice autumn weather around the firepit, you went back into the house momentarily to bring Akuji a glass of water, and Duffy followed you inside.

“Are you guys fighting or something?” He asked you privately. 

“No,” You replied, confused. “Why?”

“It just… seems like you feel like they’re mad at you or something,” He said. “You’re being more affectionate than normal and you keep, like, catering to them. They haven’t gotten up to do anything since the two of you got here. You’ve done everything they’ve asked like you’re they’re servant. It’s… a little weird.” 

“Oh,” You said, frowning. “I didn’t realize.” 

“Are they mad at you?” He asked.

“No, no, not at all,” You insisted. “It’s not anything they did, I think I’ve just been feeling insecure lately. I’m sure I’ll get over it.” 

“If you say so,” He said dubiously. “But if you’re feeling bad enough about it that it’s changing your behavior to this extent, you should talk to them about it sooner rather than later. Because if I’ve noticed, I can guarantee they’ve noticed, too.” 

Your frown deepened, but you nodded. 

Though you had told Duffy you’d talk to Akuji about it, you couldn’t bring yourself to broach the subject, dreading the conversation. You were still terribly anxious about it and it had made you become clingy and overly-accommodating, and you knew it, but you couldn’t stop. It was only a matter of time before they spoke up about it, and you were worried about what you’d say when they did.

You didn’t have to wait long. One evening, they sat you down and said they wanted to talk to you. 

“About what?” You asked anxiously. You knew it was likely about your recent weird behavior, but Akuji wasn’t a “we need to talk” type of person. They typically addressed any problems in the moment as soon as they recognized it, and didn’t need to have a sit-down conversation to work it out. This was the first time he’d done this and it made things all the more nerve-wracking.

“You’ve been… kind of weird these last few weeks,” They said. “I can’t put my finger on it, and maybe I’m over-analyzing things, but you’ve been… weirdly… giving , is really the only way I can describe it. As though I’m angry at you and you’re trying to make up for something. Is there something I need to know? Did you do something you’re scared to tell me about?” 

“No, no!” You insisted. “I haven’t done anything, I swear!”

“So what’s wrong?” They asked. “Why are you acting like I’m upset with you all of a sudden? It feels like you’re doing everything you can to keep me from leaving, but babe, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know that,” You said, dispiritedly. “I didn’t mean to act so weird. I didn’t realize I was doing it until Duffy pointed it out at dinner the other day.”

“Well, tell me what’s going on, babe,” They persisted. “Did I do something?” 

“No, of course not, babe, you’re always amazing,” You said, then sighed heavily. “I guess it started at the wedding.” 

“What happened at the wedding? Did I do something that upset you, or did someone say something that bothered you?” 

“No, I just thought…” You shrugged self-consciously. “You and I have been together for a long time now, over six years, and you’ve… we’ve… never discussed… taking the next step, so to speak.” 

“Next step?” They asked, confused. 

“Marriage, I mean,” You said, hunching. 

“...oh,” They said simply, a stunned expression on their face. “...is that something you want?” 

“No. I don’t know. I just…” You took a moment to sort through your thoughts. “I just feel like… most people, when they find someone they love and want to spend their life with, it’s natural to think about marriage, and… I suppose I was worried that you never brought it up because you didn’t see yourself spending your life with me.” 

“Babe, that’s not–” They began, but you stopped them.

“I know you love me, babe, that’s not what I’m worried about,” You assured them, and they quieted, allowing you to continue. “It’s not that I think you’re in a relationship with me because you have nothing else to do. But… I guess sometimes I worry that… you’ll only be with me until something better comes along.” 

They looked at you sharply. “Babe.” 

“I know, I know,” You said, scrubbing your face. “I know that’s not rational, but I can’t help it. I can’t help but feel that even though I’m in this for the long haul… maybe you don’t feel the same, and that’s why you’ve never even thought of tying the knot. Maybe you don’t want to marry me because you want to be sure that if you want out, there’s a way out.” 

“That’s not it at all,” They said. “I do absolutely want to spend the rest of my life with you, of course I do. I love you more than anything in the whole world. Me not wanting to get married has nothing to do with wanting a way out. I just don’t understand why you and I loving each other requires a legally binding document to be considered valid.”

“I mean… I get that, but there are ways of marrying each other that don’t require a marriage license.” 

“But why is that necessary? Why do we need to have a formal ceremony to promise each other we’ll be together forever? Why do we need to dress up and make a spectacle out of it for other people? Why do we need to go into debt to take a single day and make a grand event just to tell each other what we already know?”

“It’s more than that, Akuji, you know that,” You said. “You were at Duffy’s wedding, you saw that everyone was happy. Did Duffy look as though he regretted it?” 

“That’s not the point,” They argued. “Some people see the stability of marriage as a good thing, and if a person wants to have kids, then getting married makes sense, but I’ve always thought of marriage like a shackle. You may be able to walk around and live your life as you please if you’re wearing one, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not still wearing a shackle. You can’t put a person in a cage and dangle the key over them and say, ‘you’ll get this back if you love me for however long I decide’ and expect them to be cool with that.” 

“Do you see being in a relationship as a shackle?” 

“Of course not, but being in a committed relationship and being married are completely separate things,” They said.

“How?” 

“Because one gives you the freedom and choice to love the other person without limitations or restraint, and the other legally obligates you to love the other person, and if you happen to fall out of love and decide to split, then you get punished financially. What sense does that make?”

“But it doesn’t have to be like that, that’s what I’m trying to tell you!”

Akuji sighed, exasperated. “Look, babe, if you really want to get married–” 

“It’s not that I want to get married, Akuji, I just want to feel like you won’t just decide that you’re better off without me and leave one day!” 

“What can I do to make you feel like that?” 

“I don’t know!” You cried, feeling tears pricking your eyes. “I don’t even know why this is so important to me!” 

“Babe, come here,” They said, pulling you toward them and holding you against them, putting your head on their chest. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were feeling like this.”

“I don’t even know why I’m feeling like this, like, at all,,” You sobbed. “It just got into my head that you won’t be with me forever and I can’t get it out.” 

“Hold on a second,” They said, standing up. “I’ll be right back.” 

Perplexed, you watched them disappear to your shared room and return a moment later. 

“Do you know what this is?” They asked, handing you a pendant.

You nodded. It was a pendant Akuji’s father had given their mother when he learned she was going to lay their first clutch. The two of them had also never married, and the pendant was a promise between the two that they would always be there for each other, no matter what. It was a promise they honored until they died. 

“Take this,” They said, putting the pendant on you. “I want you to hold on to it for me.” 

“Akuji, I can’t take this,” You said, choking back more tears. 

“Yes, you can,” They said, touching it gently where it lay on your chest. “I’m lending it to you, I just happen to be lending it to you for the rest of our lives. Just because I don’t want to get married doesn’t mean I’m not committed to you, or devoted to our relationship. I love you and I’m not just going to leave you.” They picked up the pendant and showed it to you. “I promise. You believe me, don’t you?” 

You cried even harder and nodded. They pulled you into their lap and hugged you.

“Are we good, babe?” They asked. 

“More than good,” You managed to say. “So much more than good. I love you.”

“I love you more. Forever.”

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider buying me a Kofi, becoming a Patron, or donating directly to my PayPal!

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[katyobsesses]

Sam Evans and "Taylor Swift" (2006)

We all know that Sam Evans is the biggest Swiftie in the New Directions (what do you mean he never did a Taylor song?) so I thought I'd go through her entire discography and assign each song to a part of Sam Evans; be it a ship (canon or not), a part of his personality, or use the lyrics to make a plan for an AU of some sort (canon complicit or not) (which may or may not become a ficlet at some point in the future)

Feel free to use any of these as prompts for fanart/fanfic and let me know if you do!

Albums: Taylor Swift (2006) | Fearless (2008) | Speak Now (2010) | Red (2012) | 1989 (2014) | Reputation (2017) | Lover (2019) | Folklore (2020) | Evermore (2020) | Fearless tv vault songs (2021) | Red tv vault songs (2021) | ALL POSTS

Here's the first of Taylor's albums Taylor Swift (2006) to start our journey (lyrics linked)

"Taylor Swift" (2006)

Tim McGraw

AU Ficlet Idea:

Sam during the summer just before S2. He's hanging out with one of his best friends who he's known for a good chunk of his life who just got his license so they just drive around a lot through the backroads of their Tennessee town listening to Tim McGraw. During one of these drives Sam's friend comes out to him, and this sets Sam on his own journey of self discovery (and just because there's a line of "little black dress" maybe its both gender and sexuality based, so maybe, like enby!Sam or at least Sam playing with Gender norms). But just as they two get closer and have just confessed to each other Sam's Parents drop the news that they're moving to Ohio. Sam's devastated.

September saw a month of tears

Then it ends with Sam back in Tennessee a few years later - probably on his way back to Ohio from New York he decides to go through Tennessee for a few days, and drops a letter on his old friend's door step

And I'm back for the first time since then // I'm standin' on your street // And there's a letter left on your doorstep

OR you can make this a Blam AU, by pretending that the All Boys School Sam used to go to was Dalton, and just forgetting he's from Tennessee

Picture To Burn

My brain went Fabrevans on this one. The song from Quinn's perspective. Possibly an AU where they didn't break up because of Finn, but Sam still left during the Summer, possibly without even telling Quinn who's dealing with a lot of other things on top of that (realising she's a lesbian but not admitting it, her dad trying to win back her mom, her older sister having a baby and being reminded of beth) so she's very very angry... Skank!Quinn origin story vibes.

And if you're missing me // You'd better keep it to yourself // 'Cause coming back around here // Would be bad for your health...

Teardrops On My Guitar

Hevans from Sam's perspective about S5 Klaine.

Drew walks by me // Can he tell that I can't breathe? // And there he goes, so perfectly // The kind of flawless I wish I could be

A Place In This World

This one feels very much like maybe Sam trying to figure out his sexuality

I don't know what I want, so don't ask me // 'Cause I'm still trying to figure it out

Or even his whole Not-Sure-What-To-Do-In-Life arc in S5

Cold As You

Samtana, maybe, because of how cold and calculating she was with their relationship, and how quickly she dropped him when a new opportunity came around with Dave. Now, Sam probably wasn't in love with Santana or anything, but he's a big softy with a loving heart so he probably felt something for her. So her just dropping him for a new guy, as coldly as she did, would have hurt him a lot, more than she knew.

And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through // I've never been anywhere cold as you

The Outside

Sam not feeling like he fits in in NY, he feels like he's on the outside of everything and isn't used to that, he's used to being part of a team, used to knowing what he wants out of life, and he thought he did but apparently he doesn't. But also, he knows that maybe he would feel more at home in New York if his friends had noticed how outside of everything he felt, but they didn't notice.

You could've helped if you had wanted to // But no one notices until it's too late to do anything

Tied Together With A Smile

Sam and his struggle with his body, food, and obsession with dieting and exercise

Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty // Is the face in the mirror looking back at you // You walk around here thinking you're not pretty // But that's not true 'cause I know you

He pretends he's fine to everyone because he has to be the hot one, the stereotypical Jock

...you don't tell anyone // That you might not be the golden one

and he hides it all behind his goofy smiles and sunshine demeaner, but actually he's coming undone at the seams

And you're tied together with a smile // But you're coming undone

Stay Beautiful

Samcedes.

Mercedes sings the verses about Sam.

Cory's eyes are like a jungle // He smiles, it's like the radio // He whispers songs into my window // In words that nobody knows

Sam sings the choruses about Mercedes

You're beautiful // Every little piece love // And don't you know // You're really gonna be someone

Honestly this could be from any time in their relationship, from pining at the start, to S3, to S5 and them breaking up. It's full of hope for the two of them to end up as endgame one day but even if they don't, for each of them to stay the amazing people they are and be happy.

And when you find everything you looked for // I hope your life leads you back to my front door

Should've Said No

Fabrevans. Sam to Quinn after she cheats on him. An AU where he realises that she cheated on him in Silly Love Songs and breaks up with her in Comeback by singing this song instead of trying to win her back by doing Bieber. the rest of the episode is obviously just more Taylor Swift songs, ending with Mean as the Anthem they plan to do for Regionals (obviously Sue ends up ruining that, maybe citing some Meta copyright reason as why they can't sing it)

And I should've been there in the back of your mind // I shouldn't be asking myself, "Why?" // You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet... // You should've said "No", baby, and you might still have me

Mary's Song (Oh My My My)

Could go back to that Hypothetical Childhood Best Friend from Tim McGraw!

Or a Childhood Friends to Lovers AU with some other ship. I'm going to go with Blam I think, for the AU that popped into my head.

So, I've decided in this AU Sam is FTM -

Well, I was sixteen when suddenly // I wasn't that little girl you used to see

- So basically Sam and Blaine grew up as kids, with their parents joking that they'd be a couple one day, Sam transitions, they get together. You're typical Childhood friends to Lovers trope but with added trans. Kind of like that comic that periodically circles around Tumblr.

Our Song

Samcedes. This is just so perfect for Samcedes from Prom to when Sam leaves for Kentucky. Mercedes POV.

Our song is the slamming screen door // Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window // When we're on the phone and you talk real slow // 'Cause it's late and your mama don't know // Our song is the way you laugh // The first date. "Man, I didn't kiss her, and I should have." // And when I got home ... 'fore I said, "Amen" // Asking God if he could play it again

I'm Only Me When I'm With You

Blam, because it's just so them. they both let each other be their nerdy selves together, and really it's the only time either of them are so nerdy. Also Some Much Pining which is just so blam

Well, you drive me crazy half the time // The other half I'm only tryna let you know that what I feel is true// And I'm only me when I'm with you

Invisible

This one is hard. I've jumped around a couple of Ideas but I'm really not sure. This could be Blam - Blaine's POV about Bram, Sam's POV about Klaine - or a Hevan's AU - Kurt about Samcedes, or Sam about Klaine again. Or maybe even a, idk, Sinn AU, or Suck, or Sartie, or a myriad of other ships where Sam pines after someone, or someone pines after Sam.

But I think I'm going to go with... Hevans AU. Kurt isn't at Dalton. this is from his POV about Sam dating Santana. idk guys this one was tricky!

A Perfectly Good Heart

Fabrevans or Samtana - which I think will be my go to for a lot of Taylor's break up songs to be honest. But since Sam was more into Quinn than Santana, I think I'll go with Fabrevans.

Maybe I should've seen the signs, should've read the writing on the wall // And realized by the distance in your eyes that I would be the one to fall // No matter what you say, I still can't believe // That you would walk away // It don't make sense to me...

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

The Thrilling Saga of Connie paying real life money for the Worst Sonic TV Show

Let’s begin with the simple fact that me and my sister, @birdsareblooming​ “Cori”, have both been hyperfixating on Sonic the Hedgehog since last March. During this hyperfixation, I was on Sonic Wiki to copy-paste song lyrics onto my stolen mp3s, and I called my sister in and pointed at the template at the bottom. 

“What is this Sonic Underground thing?” I asked. “It has one shit billion songs.” 

So we clicked on the page to read about it, and each sentence we read was a punch in the gut and this quickly became the funniest thing we’d ever read. Highlights include:

It looks like this:

“Sonic[...] is known to be a prince” 

Sonic has two siblings who actually have good characterization but their names are literally just Sonia and Manic. Like. Sonic split into two names. jesus christ 

Also Sonic and his siblings all share a voice actor. honestly Jaleel White does his best with it but 

“The three siblings possess enchanted medallions that transform not only into musical instruments, but also into weapons.”

“Some fans consider Sonia to be a clone of Amy Rose, minus the attraction Amy feels for Sonic.” YEAH I SURE HOPE IT DOES

“Manic is the most often captured of the siblings” himbo king 

Knuckles shows up, and for the first, like, two sentences his description is very similar to the game, and then you get immediately pulverized by “He has a pet Dinosaur called Chomps.”

Literally so many sentences on Sonic Wiki are lowkey salty about this show. The page features lines such as “Sonic Underground bears little relation to the often complex Sonic universe (including previous animated series, as well as Sonic comics and games), and shares only three established characters” and “many of the characters in the Freedom Fighter group that were in Sonic the Hedgehog are completely left out (including Tails).”

“The show met with mostly negative reviews.”

*checks air dates* It only lasted two goddamn months

So after seeing this we thought it was the funniest thing and we showed our older sister, @patema-introverted​ “North.” To our surprise, our at the time “knew nothing about this sonic bullshit” sister recognized the show. Turns out she’d seen trailers for it as a child and that was her sole exposure to Sonic canon. 

We were in quarantine at the time, so we ended up finding it on YouTube and binge-watching it all together as a sibling bonding activity. It was just as hilarious as we thought it would be- some stuff was legitimately good, like the sibling dialogue for instance, but good lord were the character designs ugly, the plot all over the place, and pretty much every song, um, not great. Also there was one episode that we skipped because it got, um, I think “stereotypical” is the nicest word I can use here. 

But the point is, we had a jolly good time watching it, and afterwards we binged all the other Sonic shows and bonded as a family. 

After quarantine, North and I go back to college. My roommate gets groceries at Walmart, while I get them elsewhere, so while she and North collect food I wander the DVD aisle to look at the cool movies and also dumpster-dive in the bargain bin for Cats (2019). I am also short as fuck, so the top shelf of movies I cannot see, I can only read the labels. 

So one day I was browsing the DVDs, and glancing over at the labels for the top shelf. I read over the final one before the shelves end. 

And then I stop, do a double take, and have a heart attack, because there is a label that reads “SONIC UNDERGROUND $3.74″

I immediately climb the shelf but there aren’t any DVDs atop the shelf. However, the label is still there. I excitedly tell my sister and roommates, freak out with them a bit, and then give myself a mission statement:

I will buy the $4 Sonic Underground DVD from Walmart

I did not want it as a gift, I did not want to find it online. I wanted to walk into a store, pick up the Worst Sonic Show on DVD, walk it straight to the checkout, and in front of the cashier and God, pay for it with my own money. I did not care if it was the whole series or two episodes; I needed to do this for my own serotonin.

We would go to Walmart about once a week. Every time, I would go to the DVD aisle, and go right to the end of the shelves. I would stare at the label SONIC UNDERGROUND $3.74 and empty space above it and wonder who the fuck was buying this other than me. I would occasionally ask employees if they had any copies in storage. I would build a shrine to Manic in my room. Okay, no I didn’t, but only because my RA would have murdered me. 

Christmas break comes, and we have to go home. We have a nice Christmas, and Cori and I infodump at each other about how we would make Sonic Underground a good show (note: we’re both galaxy braining) and also play Bendy and the Ink Machine. Fun times. 

When we finally get back to College, it’s late January- long story short we have a very long winter break. My roommate who gets food at Walmart got food without us the first week cause she showed up first, so we take her out to Walmart the first time in the year of our lord 2021 on January 29. 

I wander the Valentine’s aisle, immediately grabbing a sequin puppy. I go to the DVDs and see Animaniacs Season One, also grab that. 

And then.

There it is.

The Holy Grail. 

Above the label SONIC UNDERGROUND $3.74, is one DVD left. 

Already I am losing my mind. It’s roughly seven hours of episodes- I couldn’t find an episode list, but I think that’s half the show, for $4! And the cover is amazing. 

That’s a png of Sonic from Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog (1993) with a medallion badly photoshopped over it. The medallion is too small. 

Manic is shoved into the corner. He doesn’t have his medallion at all. 

Sonia isn’t even pictured on the front cover, probably because they realized she was the worst designed of the bunch. I’m not ragging on her though, because she’s still one of the better designed characters of the show. Those background characters make me cry 

So you bet your ass I finally paid my hard-earned $4 for this shit. Upon getting home, I discovered that there was even wilder shit with this DVD than I thought. 

For starters: the bonus features listed are as follows:

Original Concept Art - did not expect that these character designs were the final draft

Storyboard-to-screen - did not expect they bothered to storyboard this 

Music Video Jukebox - that’s cute, they thought we liked the music 

Interviews with original screenwriter & executive producer - I fully expect the only questions to be “why.” 

On the left of this list are screenshots from the show, where people can finally see Sonia, who we Know™ is a girl because she is pink and has hair and also an actual body shape instead of just circles like her brothers. 

But wait... what’s that in the lefthand corner? 

That looks like some kind of robot. But it’s not a robot from Sonic Underground! That didn’t appear once. Why is it here? 

The mystery continues upon opening the DVD case: inside are advertisements for other collections, including other Sonic DVDs: two volumes of Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog (1993) and the final episodes of Sonic the Hedgehog “SatAM” (1993)

First of all, the first volume of AOSTH has the exact same PNG of Sonic as the Underground Volume 1. Not even trying to hide it. But second... the second volume of AOSTH also has this robot on its cover. 

And THIS ROBOT IS ALSO DECORATING THE THIRD DISC IN THE SET?

So you may be asking, who is this robot? Is it from AOSTH or Underground?

IT’S FROM FUCKING SATAM. The one show that doesn’t have it decorating the DVD covers.

Also, not only is it from SatAM, it only appears in one fucking episode. Not a major character! AND IT HAS A DIFFERENT DESIGN ON THE PROMO ART, WITH HAIR AND FANGS.

Why is it showing up everywhere? What is going on? 

I have not yet had the opportunity to watch this glorious piece of animation, but I am so glad at the confusion I have felt upon receiving it. 

But before I go, I must share with you the best part of this DVD purchase. And it was flipping to the back, scanning the details, and discovering the exact runtime of the episode collection. 

Guys, gals, and enby pals, friends and enemies, Nintendo and Sega, the first Volume of Sonic Underground has a runtime of...

420 MINUTES.

Maybe I’m wrong and this IS the best Sonic show. 

[jaskierswolf]

I had a bad day, so I'm projecting that onto enby Jaskier. Set post-mountain.

CW: minor misgendering and general coming out anxiety, also minor mentions of Jaskier's s.2 outfit if you're trying to avoid spoilers!

________

Jaskier plucked at their lute behind the screen hiding them from the audience, not because it needed tuning but because they needed something to do with their hands. As reigning champion of the annual Redanian Bardic Competition, Jaskier would be performing last, but there had been a few changes in their life since last year.

For one, they no longer travelled with one Geralt of Rivia, and two… well… they finally felt comfortable enough to explore their relationship with their gender. Apparently, having their heart ripped out on the top of the mountain had torn them from their comfort zone enough to start having a nice little moment of introspection once they had been freed from the shadow of their former best friend and his sorceress.

It wasn’t as if Jaskier was entirely surprised to find they liked identifying somewhere that wasn’t quite male or female. They’d always enjoyed fineries and jewelry that were designed for women, and they’d hated the emotionally stunted side that men had to show. They’d always just assumed it was because they were a bard, and bards were above such nonsense.

Priscilla had been the first to know. Jaskier had spent a good month crying on her shoulder whilst they tried to mend their broken heart, and it had been in a uncharacteristically quiet voice that they’d asked her to refer to them using they or them pronouns.

Priscilla had accepted it without any problems and Jaskier had started crying anew. They soon realised the lightness in their heart was more to do with setting themself free than the witcher, and had jumped into a nonbinary lifestyle and never looked back. Even Valdo had muttered something about Jaskier being the last to know and flipped to the correct pronouns without any fuss at all.

“Darling, you’ve been using a non-gendered name for most of your life,” Valdo had told them with a smirk and a roll of his eyes.

“Yeah well,” Jaskier had mumbled before pulling his oldest friend and rival into a tight embrace. “You’re still a bastard.”

“You wouldn’t have me any other way.”

And that had been it.

All their friends, apart from one obvious absentee, knew. The world was a different matter. To the Continent, Jaskier was still Master Jaskier, famous poet and troubadour. They were planning on using the competition as their coming out party. Maybe. If they didn’t chicken out.

They would probably chicken out.

“Hey?” Priscilla took Jaskier’s lute from their hands, brushing her lips against their stubbled cheek, and adjusting their hat with a fond smile on her lips.

“Sorry,” Jaskier mumbled.

“You don’t have to do this,” she said, the warmth in her voice infectious and so very calming.

Jaskier shook their head. The ache in their chest whenever someone called them a man or something of that ilk had just become unbearable in recent months. It was time to show the world who they really were.

“I really, really do, my sweet Priscilla.” With a gloomy smile, Jaskier took Pris’s hands in theirs and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “Wish me luck?”

“Good luck, buttercup,” she breathed softly, light shining in her eyes.

“Ladies and Gentleman!” a voice called from the stage, making Jaskier wince. “Please welcome to the stage your reigning champion, the famed Master Jaskier!”

“Bollocks,” Jaskier whined, burying their face in their hands. The announcement was just salt on the wound, shaking them to their core. “I can’t do this.”

Priscilla just reached out her hand, her long blonde hair falling in front of her face as she tilted her head. “Together?”

They took a deep breath, chewing anxiously on their lips and then nodded. “Together.”

Jaskier strode onto the stage with a bright shining smile on their face, lute in one hand, Pris’s fingers gripped tightly in the other. Their long leather coat flung out behind them in a way that was so delightfully dramatic. Along with growing their hair out and a brand new hat, the coat was part of their new post Geralt and gender crisis look. It might not last forever, but having been stuck in a rut for twenty years of their life… they sort of loved it.

They bowed to the crowd, waving as they licked their lips. “Ah, umm, hello! Hi. I’m Jaskier, just Jaskier. No master, if you don’t mind,” their eyes flicked to the Master of Ceremonies. “Before I start my set, I’d like to say a few words if I may?”

The man frowned but nodded.

“Yes, right, well. You see I- I am neither a gentleman or a lady, and I would very much appreciate it if you could refer to me as they or them or Jaskier. Just not him- her isn’t so bad, but- but… yeah.”

“And I will personally fight anyone who doesn’t respect that!” Priscilla snarled as she glared out at the crowd.

“So will I,” an all too familiar voice growled, one that made Jaskier’s eyes go wide as their heart jumped to their throats. They frantically scanned the crowd until they found the startling white hair.

“G-Geralt?” Jaskier stammered.

Geralt looked at them, a soft smile on his lips that Jaskier hadn’t seen in decades, not since the fateful banquet, before the child surprise, before Yennefer.

“Good luck, Jask,” the witcher called before the Master of Ceremonies cleared his throat, looking rather tired with the whole thing.

“Master Jaskier.” Jaskier winced and the crowd went silent as Geralt reached for his sword. Jaskier had to hold Priscilla back from launching off the stage, desperately shaking their head at the witcher to try and get him to stand down. “J- Jaskier…”

“Yes, yes,” they nodded, smiling at Pris as they squeezed her hand one last time before meeting Geralt’s eyes. “This song is called Fair, I hope you like it.” They began to play, pouring their heart and soul into every note as they gazed longingly at the witcher they had once known so well.

[rynn-png]

Here @actuallygoodbatfamilymemes

(also dami is 13 and has been friends with jon for abt 6 months whos 12 in this fic jons only slightly mentioned here in like one sentence)

(this was originally supposed to be hc but i wrote a whole essay and realized its actually a fic also thus is trash sorry this is my first fic)

I like you have a enby dami fic

Damian never felt really comfortable with he/him some days he would absolutely hate it and hate how he looked

He always felt like that and weirdly enough never thought anything of it rather focusing on his training then an identity crisis

That was until he lived with his father and the annoyences he called brothers

Its been two years since Damian first stepped foot in the manor and he was comfortable with everyone there not trying to fight everyone and everything he sees

And of course because of that his siblings made a “Protect Dami Club” a year and a half ago

If Damian had any questions they would help him especially with feelings

And of course the Protect Dami Club TM noticed how Damian got quiter then usual and how he kind of stopped talking and started saying *tt* as the only response you’d get barely making comments which was a whole new weird

The Protect Dami ClubTM decided to investigate but they got nothing with out the help of Cass who was out of town at the time

So they decided to hold a meeting with Damian in it

“*tt* is this what you do with your free time” Damian said while being dragged to the meeting room annoyance laced his words

“Yep” dick said cheerfully Damian just kept his annoyed face he didnt know how someone can be so cheerful dragging someone else to a boring meeting

But oh poor Damian this wasn’t a regular meeting

He was sat at the white circular table in a regular chair while the others had bolted in white chairs like they were the justice league

“Okay whats going on” damian said annoyance in his voice again

Dick started “Well babybird there has bee-“ damian cut him off “just get to the point already”

“You’ve been acting weird whats going on?” Tim said so Dick wouldnt ramble on for an hour

Damian just looked off to the side not wanting to make eye contact

“So there has been something bothering you” jason said matter of factly

Surprisingly jason did attend meetings i mean what kind of brother would he be if he didnt help out demon spawn

“What?No of course not” Damian said trying to keep his poker face and a monotone voice but that what gave him away

“Hey babybird you can tell us if you’d like” dick said in a soothing

“Yea we’re worried about you Damian” tim decided to join

Damian just bit his lip

“Alright...” damian slowly let down his walls brick by brick with the help of his siblings and thankfully only dick,jason and tim were there and not duke or the rest of his siblings since he isnt as open to them as he is to the rest of the batbros

“I never felt how do i put it comfortable with he/him i tried to imagine myself with she/her but i hated it as much as he/him and i dont know what to do” Damian said breaking down hi-he- Damians brick wall letting the batbros know

“That sounds kind of complicated but we’re here for you baby bird” dick said reassuringly

“Yea demon spawn” jason said in a more reassuringvoice which no one knew he could have

“Have you tryed they/them?” Tim said

Dick looked at him with a confused expression while damian was just stunned not knowing that you could use they/them and jason just looked like...jason

“You-you can do that?” Damian said still stunned “yea...you didnt know?” Tim said like the demon knew you could use they/them “No i knew just decided to hate on he/him OF COURSE NOT *tt*” damian said with sarcasm

“Wanna test they/them?” Tim asks The gremlin

“...ye...” was the only response the rest of the batbros got

“How do you test out pronouns?” Dick asks Tim in a whisper

“Oh yea Damians here they just need to get ready they’ll be here any second so dont worry about them too much they’re not as dumb as Jason” tim says the last part in a quiter voice but everyone heard him

“Hey!” Jason said ready to body slam Tim

Damian didnt pay attention to Jason and Tims argument they were in their own world smiling like a certain super dork

“So guessing i’ll be using they/them for you” Dick said as he left ruffleing the youngests hair

[an-absolute-travesty]

Smokey Skies and Pretty Fires

Hecking FINALLY

This took like a whole ass month my dudes

There was no prompt, just some good ol self indulgent marelinh :) (that started as a joke but-)

About: Marella x Linh, vigilante arsonist/fire fighter au

Word count: ~4,250

Tag list: @cadence-talle @ruewen-and-rising @lemontarto @a-lonely-tatertot @clearlykeefitz @percabetn @vibing-in-the-void-deactivated2 @sewersewersewercouch @everyonehasthoughts @imaramennoodle @enbies-and-felonies @blxckh0les42​ @rainbowtay-11 @callas-starkflower-stew @impostertamsong @appalyneinstitute1 @stars-and-splendor @anna-without-an-e @mistythegirlfluxmess @we-have-no-bananas-today @we-wont-dissapear 

Warnings: corrupt governments, fire, swearing

Linh bent down, examining the ash that covered the ground.

Some of the structure still remained, but very little of it. This was intentional, and the perp knew what they were doing.

The long string of arson incidents on government buildings was getting to be too much. At first, Linh didn't mind much. No one was ever hurt, the files inside were saved and released to the public, no fire ever spread to other buildings. But as a fire investigator and, due to her hydrokinesis, a firefighter it was getting kind of annoying. She had better things to do with her time.

She felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Hey Song, come over here for a minute."

It was her boss. She, obviously, followed.

"Chief Zaldo."

They nodded.

"I have a special assignment for you. We've gotten word that the arsonist may be attacking the courthouse next. We need you to scope out the place and put out the fire."

"Not stop the fire?"

"No. These people, or this person, might be dangerous. Just put it out, don't engage. Try to catch their face."

Linh nodded. She...wasn't great at taking orders, but she could try.

"Do you know when this is happening?"

"Three days. We hope to get more details soon."

"Who's your source?"

"Confidential information. Now go back out there, the folks will get suspicious soon."

"They don't know?"

"You ask a lot of questions, Song,"

"I have the right. Are...are you sure something bad won't happen, Chief?"

Zaldo sighed.

"No. No, I'm not."

~*~

Linh sat in the parking lot of the building next to the courthouse in the most nondescript car she could obtain.

... That being her own. The higher ups didn't exactly give her department the most funds. That went straight to the police sector. She stared at the news on her phone as reports came in of a protest across town. If she wasn't stuck in a stuffy government provided position she'd be down there with them.

She looked out the window once again. So far there were no signs of the arsonists yet.

She sipped on her mostly milk coffee. This seemed like it was going to be a long night.

~*~

At nearly three a.m. Linh awoke to a warm glow outside her car.

Shit.

Her orders from the Chief Had been forgotten completely. Without hesitation, she sprung from her seat and looked around frantically for the culprit.

There. A small figure was running away from the blaze. Linh chased.

"Hey! Kid! Get back here!"

The figure kept running. She couldn't blame them. She would too.

Luckily she was significantly taller than the person and caught up quick. It was probably very ill-advised, but she tackled them to the ground.

So much for "do not engage."

In the light of the still raging fire she saw that the apparent arsonist was a girl. She was about Linh's age with blonde hair and pretty eyes and-

CHRIST! LINH, SHE'S A SERIAL ARSONIST, GET IT TOGETHER.

Linh shook off her brief moment of lesbian brain fog.

"Who are you and why are you here?"

"I could ask you the same." the blonde girl looked in her eyes with a challenge.

"Only one of us was just caught in the act. You're going to jail."

"Am I?"

In one swift movement the girl shifted so she was on top of the pin.

"Welp, I'm going to head out now. Good luck with that fire."

She got up. Linh was still frozen in place as she ran away.

She turned around mid run and paused.

"Oh, the name's Marella. Not Mare, not Ella, no nicknames. Make sure you tell the papers that."

With a wink she was gone.

~*~

Linh sat in the Chief's office, twiddling her thumbs until they got there.

She had put out the fire that night. In fact, a lot of the structure of the courthouse was saved. When she came into work the next day she was welcomed with a warm applause.

When they walked into the room, she stood respectfully. Before she could greet them, they started talking.

"Song, how'd it go? Did you get any info?"

"Um...no, no I didn't. They must've run the other way."

"Dammit. That's okay. The fire's out, that's what matters. The cops can do the rest."

"Yeah, I guess." Linh couldn't meet their eyes.

~*~

Marella looked over the morning paper with disappointment.

"What's up?" Sophie said as she peered over her shoulder.

"They didn't even mention the fire, I made it extra dramatic and everything."

"Oof, guess we have to try again."

"Ugh." Marella flicked her wrist and set the paper to flame, it turned to ash as it hit the floor, "I'm so tired of these assholes. Peaceful protests don't work, aggressive protests don't work. These council bitches are stubborn. Our requests are reasonable, but nooooooo. Can't even let us have a real say in who controls everything."

Sophie hummed noncommittally.

"Like I said, we have to try again. Fill the skies with smoke, they have to notice eventually. Just like Forkle always tells us. Oh, and it's your turn to empty the dishwasher today by the way, Biana said she would put them all in your bed if you forget again,"

Marella waved her off, returning to her black coffee.

~*~

The next day, Marella went through the same motions as usual. She had leaked where she would be lighting up again, the first time was a risk but if all their cops were like the last she'd be perfectly fine.

And if it was the same cop...more than perfectly fine.

As she hauled the boxes of files out of the city hall she noticed a particular car sitting in the parking lot.

Guess she would see her favorite officer today.

Soon after the blaze started building, the woman got out of her car. Marella didn't run away this time, rather walked towards her.

"Lovely night isn't it?'

"You again."

"The one and only." Marella turned to her blaze. "Strangely beautiful, don't you think?"

"Yeah... I mean no- I mean-" The woman sighed. "Why are you doing this?"

Marella shrugged. "Well, it's simple. Peaceful protests seem useless at the moment so we're taking a more hands-on approach."

"No, why are you doing this? Not this...group, if there is one, why are you risking your freedom for this?"

"What freedom?"

Marella walked to her car. As she drove away she saw a large wave come from the fire hydrant, putting out the building in one go.

~*~

As Linh walked into the office, Zaldo already sat at their desk.

"Song, did you find anything this time?"

"No, I didn't, I'm sorry."

They sighed, putting their face in their hands.

"Song, I'm giving you one more chance. You're clearly determined, and to me the stealth angle seems best. But if this fails? We're going to the police,"

"Yes, Chief."

With a nod they gave permission for her to leave. She stood in the hallway for a moment, knowing what she had to do next but not knowing if she had the courage to do it.

~*~

Linh stood at the house's front door. She had chased down arsonists and saved kids from blazing fires and yet this was still the scariest thing she'd ever done.

She rang the doorbell. Maybe he wasn't home. Maybe she wouldn't have to do this.

The door opened.

In front of her stood the grown-up form of the teenage boy she had left Tam as. He still had his trademark silver bangs, apparently he hadn't cut his hair very much since they were kids. She had gotten rid of the silver long ago, dyed hair doesn't go over too well in the corporate world and her shoulder-length bob was much more practical than her long hair.

"Hello,"

"Long time no see," Tam's voice had an annoyed sound to it. "Came here to tell me 'Tam! You shouldn't mess around with that Black Swan stuff! They might be dangerous!' Again?"

Tam's impression of her voice was crude, unfortunately that was a direct quote from the last time they had talked right before their falling out. He always could hold a grudge.

"Well, um, actually, uhh... I mean sort of,"

Tam sighed.

"You know what? Whatever,"

He brought her into a tight hug.

"Come in, lecture me as much as you want, I'm not risking another 8 years without talking to the only family I have left,"

"I'm sorry about that, by the way," She said, crossing through the door and sitting on the couch.

"It's ok, you tried to make contact, I was being the asshole."

"I love you, asshole,"

"I love you more, dumbass. Now, go ahead and get your lecture started while I make us some coffee."

"Look, that arson stuff that's going on. Is that...you guys?"

He stopped mid coffee ground scoop.

"Considering you're with the government, it doesn't seem wise for me to confirm or deny,"

"Tam, I'm trying to help I swear. I just wanted to say that if it is then you should stop, I can only buy time for so long before the police are brought in,"

He put his hand on the counter, back still facing her.

"Are you threatening to call the cops? Well, we're not going to stop. It's not our fault that after years of our society abusing you, you decided to help it,"

"Tam I-"

"No. We've fought too long for what we want and you've worked too hard to make everyone forget you had a twin. I think it's best if you leave, Linh. Fitz is going to be home soon and he's heard too much to be fond of you."

"Fitz?"

"My boyfriend. Should be husband by now but your dear councillors aren't letting that happen any time soon."

"Tam, please, it's not like that I-"

"Please go. Right now. You know where to find me."

Linh nearly said something else, she wanted to argue, wanted to make sure she wouldn't lose her brother again.

Instead, she left without another word.

~*~

Linh stood outside the back of the new makeshift city hall (which was just an old fire department building repurposed) anxiously tapping her foot, waiting for Marella.

Soon enough a car pulled up and the petite woman got out of her car.

"Heya! You're waiting for me this time, that's new. What changed?"

Linh sighed.

"Look, you have to cut this stuff out. I- the police-"

"I don't care about the police. Lock me up, you have me right here officer,"

She extended her wrists straight out, offering to be handcuffed.

"I'm not a cop,"

"Really? Are you just an excitable citizen then? I thought you were just absolute shit at your job,"

Linh cracked a small smile but repressed it quickly.

"I'm a fire investigator...okay technically I'm just a firefighter but they needed more people,"

Marella cocked her head to the left.

"So none of this is even part of your job? You get paid more right?"

"Well no but-"

The girl opposite of Linh doubled over in laughter.

"Oh gosh lady you're just as bad off as the rest of us! No wonder you haven't done anything to stop us. Speaking of, scoot over, I have a fire to start,"

"No. Like I was trying to say you have to knock this off. They were trying to be stealthy but since I haven't given them any information they're sending in the cops if I don't get anything this time."

"You're trying to save my ass?"

Linh felt her face start to burn.

"Well um..."

"What's your name Miss Not-Even-A-Fire-Investigator?"

Linh sighed.

"It's Linh. Linh Song."

"Song? Like..." She trailed off, thinking for a moment. "No fucking way. You're the sister Tam always talks about. You know, putting me in cuffs won't do any harm to your brother, I'm no snitch."

"Tam has made it very clear he doesn't want my protection,"

"Why are you doing this then? You're risking your job, your...everything really,"

"I don't know,"

There was a tense silence. Marella stared her down, it was like she could see right through her into her soul.

"Linh, let me into the building,"

Linh didn't know why she moved. She didn't think she ever would know.

But she watched wordlessly as the files were taken out, loaded into a car, and then Marella walked a decent way from the building and tossed a ball of fire.

The building went up quick. It felt wrong to just stand there but...the fire was very pretty.

Soon enough Marella joined her in watching the blaze. They were wordless for a good while.

"We should get out of here soon. Someone's bound to notice the smoke," Linh was starting to get anxious.

"We? You don't have to wait for me, Linh. You have your own car,"

"Yes, I know,"

They were silent for another minute.

"Tam talks about how much he misses you, like a lot. Normally when he's drunk but still. He'd um... I think he'd like it if you um..."

"Yeah..."

Linh thought. And then she thought some more. What did she have to lose? She didn't have friends, or family, she went home every day to a mediocre apartment she could barely afford. She was underpaid and overworked.

"I want to join you,"

"You know, you said it yourself, you're risking your freedom,"

"What freedom?"

Marella smiled.

"Well, in that case, go home and get your things packed up. Meet me at the diner on 5th street tomorrow at noon. You might want to quit your job, we don't need a missing persons case on our hands."

"Be honest, is this a bad idea?"

"It depends how much you have going for you, but considering you're willing to run off to an undisclosed location with an arsonist I'm guessing you don't have much to lose. No offense," Marella looked panicked at what she said.

"None taken. Don't worry, I'm on my own. No wife and children or anything."

"Same,"

A siren wailed a few blocks away.

Marella smiled again. Wow, her smile was beautiful.

"Welp, see you tomorrow,"

"Yeah,"

Linh watched her walk away, a dorky grin on her face the whole time, before realizing she should probably get out of there before the police caught up.

~*~

The next day, Linh stood in the parking lot of the small diner. The only things with her a small backpack and a crate with Princess Purryfins, her murcat, inside. She didn't even take her car, rather walking the whole way.

Soon enough, a familiar car pulled up next to her and Marella got out.

"Is that it?" Marella pointed to her bag.

"Yep, like I said, no wife and kids or anything,"

"Yes but most people have, I don't know, clothes?"

"Swiftly changing the subject, I have a couple questions,"

"Shoot,"

"Since I'm not working anymore, how...exactly will I stay, y'know, alive and fed?"

Marella laughed. Linh knew that even if her answer was 'you won't, we live in the woods and you're our next dinner' Linh would still follow her if she was promised she'd hear that laugh again.

"Well, frankly I shouldn't be saying this in a public space, but we have allies in high places. They fund us,"

Linh nodded as if she understood fully.

"Any other questions?"

"None worth asking,"

"Cool, ready to go?"

Linh nodded again, tongue-tied from anxiety.

~*~

Nearly an hour later, they pulled up to a building in a rural part of the county. It seemed cozy enough, plenty land to be a farm though there were no animals. A small pond out to the side of a cabin that had clearly been added onto to make significantly larger.

As they walked up to the door, Marella pulled out an odd key with a swan insignia painted on the grip.

"Here is your new home for...as long as you choose to stay. You can always go out and get your own house if you want, but only paid with cash and no renting. We have to stay off the grid as much as possible,"

Linh just nodded again.

"You've been quiet," Marella pointed out.

"Yeah I'm just...it's been a lot,"

"I know, I'm sorry, you can still turn back,"

Linh shook her head.

"No, I'm committed now. I already sent the letter quitting my job,"

Marella gave her a sympathetic look.

"Alright, your room is down the hall, third to the left. I'll be upstairs if you need me. We're having a meeting tonight over dinner, then you can see everyone,"

Linh smiled politely, but started tearing up when she was left to find her room. What was she doing? Getting involved with an illegal organization against the government.

Ah the extents she would go to for a pretty girl. And nice. And funny. And smart.

Ugh. Cute girls would be the death of her.

~*~

Marella tapped her fingers on the table, waiting impatiently for the meeting to start.

Most people were there and she had introduced Linh to them.

Well, everyone but Tam and Fitz, who weren't there yet like the late-ass bastards they were.

Marella sat right next to the very quiet Linh, she seemed completely resigned about the whole ordeal. It had to be a very strange day for her.

Forkle stood up at the head of the table, tapping a glass with his dinner knife as if to get everyone's attention, even though the room was mostly silent.

"Good evening everybody! Today we have been joined by the lovely Ms. Song. Unfortunately we have not been blessed by the appearance of her brother as is usual of him."

Marella and the rest of her colleagues chuckled, Linh didn't.

As if on a timer, the door opened.

"Well speak of the devil," Forkle said, turning around to peer at the men in the doorway.

Tam's eyes went wide at the sight of Linh. He quickly ran over and scooped her into a hug.

Their conversation was quite long and very quiet, even for someone right next to them. All Marella caught was "I promise I won't leave again, I love you asshole," Linh came away with a slight sparkle of tears in her eyes.

After they broke apart, Forkle continued.

"Okay, now that we're done with that sweet moment, it's time for the boring stuff. It'd come to our realization that we can't continue on as we have been. We need something new to grab their attention. Anyone have a suggestion?"

The table was silent.

"Ms. Song? Perhaps you're more diligent than these kids,"

"We're very much adults, thank you very much," Keefe piped up.

"Mr. Sencen, when was the last time you changed the oil in your car?'

"...touché,"

Forkle sighed, and after a moment Linh started talking.

"I was thinking...all this fire stuff probably isn't great for the environment and stuff. And, well, water should work just as well. But, I mean, I don't want to impose-"

Squall cut in. "Ms. Song that's a great idea, we can cause just as much destruction with less harm and throw them off,"

Everyone around the room nodded their agreements and Marella nudged Linh's arm.

"See? You're fitting in already, nothing to worry about,"'

Linh smiled.

~*~

Linh sat at the edge of the pond, making small ripples in the water and looking at the fish. A toad croaked in the distance.

She didn't know if she was supposed to be out here, or if there were any rules at all. It didn't seem so, of all the people she'd met so far they treated this base like their home.

She felt a tap on her shoulder that made her nearly jump out of her skin. When she turned around she was expecting Tam or someone on their 'Collective' or whatever. Turns out, it was just Marella. She sat next to Linh on the bank.

"Told ya' everything would go fine,"

"You told nothing of the sort,"

"I was thinking it,"

Linh chuckled. "Yeah, it was fine,"

"So, what's your first impression of the gang?"

"Sophie and Dex seem nice, I'm a bit concerned for Keefe's car's health, I don't think Fitz likes me very much..."

"They can take some getting used to,"

"Mhm," Linh mumbled before they fell back into silence.

"So..." Marella said after a while. "Do you think you'll stay? Here at the base I mean,"

"For a bit. I don't exactly have an apartment anymore and this is way better than the one I had anyway. Just until I can get back on my feet by myself,"

"You can really stay as long as you'd like. Most people have their own homes but quite a few stay here. Sophie, Biana, and I do, at least,"

"Then maybe I'll stay a while,"

"I'd like that,"

Linh felt Marella's body heat get a lot hotter just then. She couldn't quite see in the moonlight but she guessed she was...blushing?

"I um... I was thinking um...that...um," Marella seemed to continue to heat, Linh was concerned she was going to catch fire. "I was thinking that maybe we could um...go out sometime? I- I mean as a date, o-or as friends if you don't-"

"I'd love to,"

Marella sighed in relief. "I didn't expect that to go well, honestly,"

Linh laughed. "Well, how does tomorrow at 8 sound? We can go to that pottery place on 2nd street, I think they mostly do kid's birthdays but that's never stopped me before,"

"Sounds great, it's a date,"

"It's a date,"

Linh almost just got up but hesitated for a moment. She quickly pecked Marella on the cheek before going back to the house as fast as possible. She almost thought she saw the light of a fire in the corner of her eye.

~*~

The beep-like news theme comes on followed by the announcer.

"Tonight on the 7 o'clock nightly news with Jennifer Watson"

The woman on T.V. straightens her papers.

"The two silvered-hair bandits known as the "Trouble Twins" by the public are still escaping the police's grasp. They have flooded two government buildings this week and don't seem to be intending to stop any time soon. They claim all they want is to have a proper negotiation with our lawmakers. Will the council respond to these vigilantes? Or will they continue to let our buildings be destroyed? And coming up next, this video of Bobo the panda has the internet going wild-"

Marella turned off the T.V. and slouched further on the couch. She bit into her apple, unamused.

"Babe, you have to be patient. We're getting closer, Councilor Oralie said she was going to introduce the idea of negotiation, it'll be ok,"

Linh's words helped but Marella was still unsure.

Linh sat back on the couch and nudged her.

"There's nothing to worry about, c'mon, give me a smile,"

Marella couldn't help but grin at the dork she called her girlfriend.

"There it is! Dinner will be ready in like...5 minutes so," Linh took away Marella's apple, "Then we can go meet up with Tam to fuck up the Tribunal Hall,"

"Sounds like a lovely night,"

Linh laughed.

"I love you, you know that?"

"We do say it to each other quite often,"

"Yes but I don't know," Linh looked down at her lap. "It's been almost a year and... I guess I thought I'd regret joining you guys at some point but I never have,"

"Well, I am quite charming,"

"She says, as she slowly slides off the couch,"

Indeed, Marella was now halfway to the floor. Linh just laughed.

~*~

"Order in the court!" Councilor Emery slammed down the gavel.

Bronte rolled his eyes. Ever since they decided to cut the telepathic communications (Emery's migraines were getting bad) he had been using that stupid thing.

"Today the council will be voting on one thing, are we willing to listen to the Black Swan's pleas? Or do we attempt to wrangle them?"

Everyone around the room scratched on their piece of paper with the old-fashioned and unwieldy fountain pens. Bronte already knew what his vote would be, he had many conversations with the Forkle brothers in the past, now down to one. It was an easy decision.

Once all the votes were in the box, Emery started counting. He sighed.

"And, with a close vote of 7 to 5, we will be attempting to negotiate with the vigilante group," He pounded the gavel again. "Meeting adjourned,"

Oralie gave Bronte a thumbs up from across the room. He rolled his eyes again, but fondly this time.

~*~

BAM BAM BAM.

The gavel was loud, Linh didn't like it, her anxiety was high enough that day, the stimulation of it all was too much.

Marella gently held her hand under the table.

"Order in the court!"

Sure, "court", not like they were sitting in the community center because they hadn't managed to rebuild the actual places of court yet, not at all.

"Today we have gathered to discuss many things. First, on the agenda is discussing giving citizens the right to vote as a democracy. Then, the details of a possible police reform and redistribution of funds. Finally, on what the current legal definition of marriage is, and the possibility of changing that."

Tam caught Linh's eye from across the room, he nodded at her.

Now, the real fight began.