#like. over a few weeks yeah
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the writers well and truly hate bonnie i'm sorry but you have to suspend your disbelief so fucking much about the fact that NO ONE ever found it weird that bonnie didn't speak to them over the phone for an entire summer. you mean to tell me not ONE of them tried to call her and found it weird they kept getting sent to voicemail? even if they were all busy and doing well why would a bunch of teenagers accept that bonnie was resorting to email to talk to them exclusively for MONTHS. that's absolutely mad bro the writers hated her so bad jesus christ
#like. over a few weeks yeah#but for an ENTIRE summer#and NOBODY found it weird?#even in your WORST faith takes you have to be logical#and ask. hm. would caroline really not call bonnie for an entire summer if she were traveling?#would elena not have anything to say over the phone AT ALL and simply write emails back?#matt is whatever sorry dude#but even if you HATE elena and caroline. like hate them#you have GOT to admit it is weird and unrealistic as fuck they NEVER spoke to her over the phone the entire summer#and didn't find it weird#even if you want to say “oh elena was obsessed with damon” okay well maybe she would've called to obsess about him over the phone?#y'all love saying she doesn't have consideration for what he's done why wouldn't she do it over the phone#i'm FULLY aware they're bad friends to bonnie the longer the series goes on#but the writers.... REAAALLY hate her for NO ONE to notice#even after her FATHER DIED.#LIKE. NO ONE CALLED TO TELL BONNIE ABOUT THAT?#YOU'VE GOTTTT TO BE JOKING#they couldn't come up with ANYTHING better?#bonnie bennett#elena gilbert#caroline forbes#that whole plot......... just nasty work#i can't take it seriously bro#i also think it's wild for jeremy to like. Not Say Shit about her being dead but i don't care about them butchering his character#not as much anyway#if tyler were there he'd notice (i'm being delusional)#(except i'm not. he's a better friend than the rest of them)#anyway. julie and c. dries are going to hell
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Dungeon Meshi: The RPG
#Dungeon Meshi#laios touden#marcille donato#chilchuck tims#senshi#animation#game dev diary#Please give a huge hand to my coding partner#who labored for over two weeks to figure out how to implement reaction animation for the battle icons.#You may also notice that I updated the battle portraits from my previous post! New and (mostly) improved!#The death screens were not changed because I didn't think they'd get used for this video.#But Chilchuck getting one-shotted and leaving due to this being outside of his pay? Accidental comedy gold.#The full sprite (I didn't realize the bottom third would be hidden) says: “NOT PAID FOR THIS”#And yeah he's smoking. He gets a smoke break as part of his contract. Let a guy have his vices. He's teetering on a divorce.#Dungeon Meshi would be a fun rpg in theory but it would need to have immersive mechanics like cooking and foraging.#And hunger and fatigue and other status effects.#A slightly more lighthearted fear and hunger sort of game.#But that is for some other fan to do. This is just a fun tech demo for us to learn RPG maker!#So...with this mini-project concluded#we now have a foundation we can pass over to our actual game!#Next game dev post will be some game assets (probably busts and battle icons for the main party)#And after that! Most likely some more sprite sheets (I have made a few more since my first attempt)#Thank you for everyone who has been rooting us on since I started talking about this project. It means a ton B'*)
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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Sorry, most likely my memory being poor, but I thought Malleus' mom (don't know how to spell her name and too lazy to check how to spell it) was already an adult when Lilia ""proposed""?? Like I was always under the assumption that it was like a one-sided child crush on somebody completely out of your league you tend to have as a kid 💀
I don't think they say how old she was? although it's entirely possible I just misunderstood; my Japanese is...shaky. :') the actual line is "幼い頃に私に求婚したのは偽りか?", which I read as "isn't it true that you proposed to me as a kid?", and took as her being older than him, but not necessarily an adult (like, I was thinking of Lilia as being not quite a preteen and Mel being preteen/young teen). although I don't know if there's a connotation or something I'm missing that implies a bigger age gap, if that makes sense!
(and of course, I might also just be forgetting some other line -- if someone else knows, then please correct me! I need to know which headcanons need adjusting 👀)
BUT YEAH in a canon-y sense, Malleus is 178 and around the third-years developmentally. which makes me think that even though dragons have a way longer lifespan, they go through childhood at about the same rate as most fae (or at least the kind that Lilia is) and just kinda...slow waaaaay down once they hit adulthood. so it makes sense in my brain that he and Meleanor could've basically grown up together!
...it makes it angstier that way, anyway. :)
#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 5 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 5 spoilers#this week on ego thinks way too much about diasomnia#(what do you mean you're not supposed to overanalyze the chronology)#but yeah mel was completely out of his league regardless#she was out of literally everyone's league#though seriously i think i just...narratively want them to be more equals?#because a big chunk of lilia's Issues were (and let's be real. are.) based on internalizing that he doesn't deserve love#and that he doesn't deserve to be around the people he loves#while mel is over here going 'you stupid idiot. you absolute fool. i'm going to go die for you out of spite'#(i do think lilia never realized she died to save him too and not just malleus) (but we digress)#i think it's a bit more satisfying if there isn't a big gap between them like that#(same for raverne) (assuming we ever get to learn ANYTHING about him) (please twst just a few more breadcrumbs i'm begging you...)#but ah well. the angst is delicious either way >:)#please definitely let me know if i misunderstood though! i need the character trauma to be Correctly Devastating. >:)
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I was once again thinking about this goofy Luffy moment after his Lucci punch™ and i had to see it frame by frame.
first the force of it throws them both away, and while Lucci is seen on screen tumbling for a long moment, Luffy is just away in a blink of an eye.
and then his funny scene - his legs are like jelly that he tries to get under control,
he stumbles, falls, rolls into a mix of all his limbs and eyes,
and then only the cloud behind him cushions his fall
- which would be interesting if he can subconsciously control that while he tries to regain the control over his movements - that the environment around him still adapts to his awakened Devil Fruit abilities and morphs to help him. Where others would probably fall through that cloud, for Luffy that cloud backs him up like a trampoline.
It's just fascinating!
#still thinking about this new ep? its more likely than you think#monkey d. luffy#monkey d luffy#one piece#one piece spoilers#one piece ep 1100#luffy#mine#gif:op anime#long post#egghead arc#egghead spoilers#op spoilers#sun god nika#gear 5#i guess something like that might have been already used in wano but its these new eps that im caught up with so its like. new for me lol#and something i can notice while waiting for a new eps#i wanna know more how much the DF controls luffy and how much he is able to control it.. . *thinking face*.#especially if what im thinking could be some parallels between lucci having worse control over his DF (in the current manga) than he thinks#if it changes his characteristics that much and if that could be used as storytelling point to see that either 1. yeah it could be potentia#danger for luffy too. or 2. luffy is that stronger that he can already control it better by now. even maybe subconsciously#i just love how this anime part aired during that interesting rob lucci manga chapter few weeks ago. like.. so many thoughts
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Y'know what? *colors your ISAT Characters*
#tbh this one is like over a week old & I'd want to adjust a few color choices#but i got busy and could'nt be by my pc for a week so yeah#in stars and time#isat#spoilers#isat spoilers#<- for euphie#isat mirabelle#isat siffrin#isat isabea#isat odile#isat loop#isat euphrasie#digital art#my art#fan art
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vent post
#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once”#i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO#anxiety is a hell of a thing#and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever#i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up#and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken#but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship#i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it#i am cringe and i am free#self post#vent post#altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read#too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll#i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made#i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol#i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim#i think both things can be true#i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like#while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium#“perfectly balanced as all things should be”
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Prolly gonna be my one and only rwde post (cus the fanbase is rancid and I'm not rlly a rwby fan, just a person who watches the show): some of you rwby fans are too comfortable using your queerness as a shield to silence BIPOC voices about the racist writing and your 'precious' bigoted CRWBY. You guys unironically act/think that just because you have to deal with queerphobia; you are IMMUNE to being bigoted yourself and you are INCAPABLE of parroting bigoted beliefs. Cus I know there will be a dumbass ant1-rwde posters who will try to drown out this post by saying its 'lies from the EVIL RWDE!!!': You would rather weaponize your queerness to bash on BIPOC voices, while claiming to care about our voices. You would rather be complicit with the racist writers and their racist writing, just because your racist writers gave you a queer ship. There is no shame nor issue in projecting the abused you suffered onto the characters, however you refuse to see through the characters and their writing through a BIPOC lens. You do not get the right to impose your perspective of the characters at the expense of BIPOC voices, you do not get to twist our voices to be alt-right bigots because we called out RWBY's rampant racism. You do not get the right to say you give a shit about BIPOC and have #BLM in your bio when you fervently defend your bigoted company. You do not get to pretend to care about racism when you buy merch off of your bigoted company. My fellow BIPOC (especially the queer BIPOC): why are you guys so comfortable dismissing your fellow poc about their discomfort with RWBY's racist writing? BIPOC are not a monolith with the same opinions about racism in media; but some of you guys are weirdly comfortable with turning a blind eye to your fellow BIPOC getting dogpiled by the white fandom. We can and will disagree, you not agreeing as a BIPOC about RWBY's racist writing is not what I take issue with. The issue lies within you upholding the racial colourblindness in the fandom; like how the fandom was ok with throwing the racism under the bus in favour of queerness, you are ok with throwing your BIPOC peers under the bus for white queerness. Sincerely, a POC who has been watching the fandoms rampant racism problem ever since 2019.
#rwde#bitches be like: 'yeah we know that rwby handled racism bad :)))'#then get fucking furious when you say 'adam taurus being retconned from a minority rights fighter to an abusive ex was kinda bad'#go watch unicornofwar's white fang video and think about it holy shit. listen to the white guy if u dont wanna listen to poc#white fans get furious when you say that rwby has a racism problem TO THIS DAY#you dare mention how the 'villains' are all poc with visible ethnic traits/darker skin tones#while our heroes are white as fucking paper with zero ethnic traits#they would scream to the heavens that ruby and yang are chinese#despite being very much modelled off of white women/afabs#while also be giddy about whitewashing james to fit their evil facist dictator narrative#despite james being modelled off of an ACTUAL asian man unlike ruby and yang#and is one of the few characters who have visible ethnic features unlike ruby and yang#fandom racism goes unchecked over here and i have never felt so unsafe in a fandom#at the end of the day: ig white ppl will always prioritize themselves at the expense of bipoc#'omg we're ur allies#i totally understand how it feels like to be discriminated against 🥺'#<- not even a week later you borderline gaslight a poc rightfully saying its fucking weird to be making animal jokes about blake#at this point? call me a slur#dont pretend you give a shit about me as a poc#dont even fucking bother being my friend as a white queer if ur just gonna spout the same shit i see online#rwby fans you guys are one of the most racist fandoms out there#btw if you guys are gonna come at me with racism and harassment#you will be blocked <3#especially if u are as slavic as the vikings#do not bother lecturing a poc about how ur racist anime isn't that racist
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There’s something that gives me a low grade ick about rivals cheering each other on in elite gymnastics (particularly WAG) now. Like why the fuck are you rooting for your competition DURING the competition. idgaf about sportsmanship or whatever there’s a difference between acknowledging your direct opponent’s performance mid-competition and wooping and hollering on the sidelines for them idk
in ways I feel it’s a function of the outside impression of the sport. like howwww many sports are there where the top competitors, even clear rivals, clearly respect each other but when it’s game time they’re savages. MAG is like that to a lesser extent too. Why is it that they all have to stand around and sing kumbaya or they hate each other and have personal beef? Why is there no middle ground, even? are these not world class athletes? what’s wrong with them having a different demeanor/mental approach during a competition vs immediately after and outside of competition?
In a way I think it’s a failure of the fans/spectators now to separate the two and it feeds into how acutely aware they are of the public’s interpretation of the smallest interactions. Maybe even a chicken or egg situation.
#I’m writing this post rn and scheduling it for a few weeks after the olympics but#yeah EF hasn’t finished yet and I don’t want it to be interpreted as a direct reaction to any one result#it’s just an overall trend I’m commenting on over the last like 5-6 yrs#if athlete and fan spaces were more separate fewer people would be Like This#like the way jordan was accused of resenting Suni or whatever bc she wasn’t doing NCAA level screaming jumping celebration of QF results#I just feel like the sideline celebration has become something disingenuous when their every movement is closely analyzed and they know it
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Very exciting Progress Report today folks!
Next Update (Chapter 3? Maybe?):
Intro Scene (if not on music fest route): 100%
Music Fest Routes (Solo, V, and Amara): 100%
Club Pyre Path: 100% (Finally!!!)
Editing: 4%
Coding: ???% (I code some as I write but fuck if I know how much is done at this point)
Bug Testing: 0%
Yes, you read that right! I've finally (finally) finished writing all the parts for the next update! Now, I just need to edit, code, and bug test the hell out of it and it'll be ready for release.
(Let's just hope I don't go too crazy on the editing and decide to add a bunch of new content or else this may take a while.)
#redo; rewind if#interactive fiction#if game#progress report#very happy to be in editing mode now#i'm hoping it'll only take a few weeks to get it all done (a month? maybe? might be more idk)#but i guess we'll see how things go#i also looked at my draft earlier and the current word count is over 180k#that includes the previous chapters and some notes and stuff btw#but given how short they are... yeah#also. in case you don't know. your average novel is more like 120k or less words. so...
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just an essay bc it's been on my mind but the way that victimhood becomes a weapon on social media is so fucking stupid and counterintuitive to actual advocacy. people wielding "im a victim" as a defense not only in situations actually involving their specific case but also in basically every damn situation in the world is so ???? even in cases involving dream, for example, i will see people using his history as a means of defending him (it's really fucked up that you would accuse a victim of ___, he's an abuse victim i'm sure he won't defend ___ and that he'll ___) and while i understand where that sentiment comes from, the base assumption it's making is...nakedly untrue. and assuming its truthfulness can hurt victims moreso than it helps them.
being a victim isn't moralizing. being a victim doesn't make you a good person. suffering isn't absolution, and going through fucked up shit doesn't make someone "good." people equate abuser = bad person and victim = good person, and then assume that victims are incapable of abusive behavior or "problematic" internalized ideas. an abuser can't be neurodivergent, or mentally ill, or part of a marginalized group, and most importantly an abuser can't be a victim. the boxes of victim and abuser are strictly defined with no overlap. once you've been through something truly, verifiably, Fucked Up (tm), congrats! you get a certificate of eternal victimhood that prevents you from ever being a Real Bad Person ever for the rest of your life.
only that's not how real life works! it's just not! generational trauma leads to cycles of abuse that perpetuate themselves over whole generations of people! the kids that think that it's perfectly fine and a-okay for a parent to physically punish their children don't tend to be the ones with parents that don't lay a finger on them! and you know, it sucks. it sucks that you get nothing out of being hurt, that there's no fucking prize, that there are no suffering vouchers for you to cash in because of the abuse you suffered that can give you good-person-points. it sucks to endure all that shit for nothing. but the opposite idea of suffering making you a good person is the exact reason why some people preach about the miles they walked to school in the driving rain to excuse taking out their shitty temper on their small children.
being abused generally doesn't make one "better." if anything, trauma tends to fuck you up in ways that hurt you...and others. going through shit tends to make people worse. working to get better is something that requires actual conscious effort, not something that you are given as a side effect of going through hell. over and over again, traumatized individuals who are made to feel powerless and given little freedom and ability to change their circumstances, when in a situation where they are given power to some degree over some person, may choose to abuse that power while they're in their own abusive situation or after. part of being a victim of abuse often means having a distorted view of the abuse you've been through! it can mean normalizing fucked up behavior! looking at shit and treating it lightly because you've been taught that it's "not that bad," if you've been taught that it's bad at all! victims aren't granted perfect ideologies from god because they walked through flames--cult survivors usually have to unlearn all sorts of messed up beliefs that were drilled into them--beliefs that many people on twitter would then damn them for, because obviously if you've thought something like that in the past then you're a bigoted hateful individual.
i can only speak from my own experience, but i can't fucking count the number of people i've heard of or met or known personally who have been through some kind of trauma in the past, who are undoubtably victims of abuse, who then go on to act in toxic, manipulative, and abusive ways to others. oftentimes, these people are aware of the fact that they were in abusive situations in the past and make quite a big deal about the fact that they care about victims, as a victim, and want to advocate for them. they're the same people who react extremely negatively to anyone alluding to the idea that they could be abusive--they're not like that, they've been abused, how could anyone accuse them of abusing another person, don't they know how much that hurts with their history. and so on and so forth.
and...i have a lot of sympathy for these individuals, generally speaking. because as mentioned above, being abused in the past doesn't necessarily make it harder for you to be a perpetrator in the future. sometimes--oftentimes, even--it's the opposite. and i feel for them, because going through trauma and being hurt makes you scramble for ways to not be hurt again, and oftentimes the easiest answer for that (and the ways of solving problems as modeled to them in the past!) is control, and controlling another party can very easily slip into manipulative, abusive behavior. especially if you still have internalized ideas mixed in with the fear that surviving abuse entails, internalized ideas that are often left unexamined by people who believe that their victimhood absolves them from any further responsibility. i feel for people who are deathly afraid of ever being seen as terrible people, oftentimes because of the shit that they went through, who seek explanations for their abusers' behavior that make it so much easier to simplify the matter into "they're something separate from me, something that i can never become." i sympathize with the anger and fear and frustration and grief that might never had had a healthy outlet while in a past situation that ends up poured out into places where it shouldn't be in the present, i sympathize with the desire to find reason in being hurt where it doesn't exist, to want there to be something to make the whole damn thing worth it instead of having nothing to take with you but your pain.
but at the end of the day, that's not how life works. that's not how abuse works. yeah, there are abusers who are cruel for cruelty's sake, who are aware of the harm they do and desire to cause more--and there are just as many who genuinely believe that they're doing the right thing, that they're doing good, that they care for the one that they're hurting unselfishly and wholeheartedly. there are many, many people who hurt others because they have been hurt before, and this isn't an excuse--of course not--but refusing to acknowledge the ways that pain can perpetuate itself and blinding oneself to the possibility of their own actions ever being abusive can literally be how this pain continues. it's good to be self aware, it's good to want to do the right thing, but assuming that victims are good people because of the suffering they went through not only means that so-called "bad victims" (or anyone that's not yet Acceptably untangled the thought patterns and actions that have been normalized to them, or anyone who lashes out in quote-unquote appropriate ways as judged by whatever social media council is handing out social justice tickets for the week) get overlooked and ignored, but abusive patterns of behavior are allowed to continue to exist, just in a repackaged form with different language. it's not fair to victims to nail them to this standard of so-called righteousness that is also inextricably connected to their experiences, allowed to be revoked if they're too "abuser" to be "victim" anymore, or to overlook the victims of their behavior because their inherent suffering-borne righteousness keeps them from crossing the line into bad behavior.
at the end of the day, no one deserves abuse, victims deserve to be advocated for, and people who have been through horrific shit didn't deserve to go through horrific shit. but you don't get handed get-out-of-jail-free cards for being treated badly, you know?
#abuse#like ugh it's complicated#but i need people to stop using victimhood as a catchall excuse#and this isn't criticism of like. dr eam btw#who really hasn't ever used anything re: his experiences as an excuse as far as i can remember#it's one thing to say that 'these situations affected my actions' which is half of what this essay is abt#because yeah. going through shit affects your actions ... and not always for the better.#now the other ccs whose opinions ive been unwillingly subjected to over the last few weeks ? lol. lmao.#like look this idea of victimhood earning anyone anything is inherently damaging and completely untrue#sympathy and understanding extended towards abuse victims shouldn't be dependent on the morality points that they falsely earn#as a result of going through fucked up shit
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also picking raspberries turned out to be.. really fucking hard
#it's so physically demanding broo ToT#idk i feel like im just weak af because some people there seem to do it so easily and i can barely#do half a day#and they want me to do a full day tomorrow bro#like#I'm so tired after half a day..#i genuinely feel like i might just collapse or something#i do want that bit of money tho but it's sooo exhausting#i went there for half a day today and it killed me bro i was just lying in bed#and i didn't want to fall asleep cause it was like noon already but#i didn't even have the energy to look at a phone lmao#well it's gonna be over this week probably cause#the raspberries are going to stop growing in a few days apparently they're saying in 2 days#we're going to be done#I'd love to make more money but I don't think i can fucking do ittt#its so physically demanding whyyyyy#and why are there grandmas working with me in that field and they seem just fine BROOOO TOT#but yeah now that im thinking about it this also might be part of my problems cause#im soo much.ore irritable rn just cause im literally exhausted all the time ughhh#i came back home 3 days ago and i haven't even had the time to sit down at a desk and draw something#not even mentioning energy aughhh
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You know you're about to get the best T shot of your life + some strong opinions on the bullshit ways people are doing it when u go in to a rural pharmacy and the 55 year old guy behind the counter is so jacked he barely fits into the damn lab coat
#i told him i was having issues overcoming the natural instinct to not stab myself since i botched my last SubQ and would rather do IM anyway#and he shat all over the subQ method calling it an understudied fad#and when I mentioned that I exclusively do upper glute he was like YO EXACTLY cant believe doctors are out here telling complete newbies#to just jab their thighs its insane like bro absolutely#last time i went here i was quite a bit painfully injected by a practicum pharmacist who was i think trying to subtly hint that she#was bisexual. after i commented on her uh cowboy doc martens#yeah she harpooned me in the ass with a damn 21 gauge. to be expected.#this guy went right for a 25 gauge and aimed better too not to discredit women but there are some things u can only understand by being a#certified roidbeast#I been injecting this shit almost every week (did take few month long breaks) for 7 years#Just imagine the scar tissue you'd accumulate if you did 21g every time like some doctors suggest “because its thick” lol
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you know that clip from fantastic mr fox, the
"i think i have this thing where i need everybody to think im the greatest, the quote-unquote 'fantastic mr fox,' and if they arent completely knocked out and dazzled and kind of intimidated by me, then i don't feel good about myself."
thats how i feel, if you care.
#fantastic mr fox#i feel. bad#like i don't want to say useless. but i'm shaking all over and thinking about my grades again.#that post i made a few weeks ago about running out of time? yeah.#but i cant say i feel like a failure because im not. mostly.#im constantly told how talented and pretty and cool i am but theres this little voice in the back of my head that says everyone's lying.#and i know theyre not i KNOW that. right?#but if im talented why doesn't any of my family show up for my performances anymore?#if i'm pretty wouldn't someone love me?#if i'm cool wouldn't i have friends who arent fake or live across the state?#if i'm smart wouldnt i have higher than a c in half my classes?#if i'm a good kid shouldn't my parents love me?
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Shout out to the reader who bookmarked one of my fics as “almost perfect” bc not only does it remind me that I should have worked harder on that fic but now I’ll never know what I could have done better. It’s like, my ideal torment nexus. Chef’s kiss.
#this only happened a few weeks ago but it haunts me#like yeah I guess that 40k fic I slaved over and cried over and then posted for free could have been better#you got me there#personal#writing#taking this one as a win tho bc it’s thickening my skin I guess
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For this week's post, I have a very special announcement:
As of the minute of my posting this,
this blog
is officially
A DECADE OLD!
To mark the occasion, I've gone back to my old sketchbook and (at long last!) made a scan of the first drawing I ever posted here...
...which I've used as reference for a redraw🥹
I've been through a lot in the last decade (as you can imagine), and, consequently, the nature of my love for and appreciation of the novel has changed so much through those years; with each subsequent time I've read it, A Tale of Two Cities has meant a different thing to me and held a unique place in my soul, tailored to its shape at that point in time.
That's part of why it has been such an immense, immeasurable joy to have this blog as a constant, a place for me to capture those shapes (and their changing over the years) by providing the good people of Tumblr's A Tale of Two Cities fandom with posts of all varieties. What a wonderful and rewarding place it has been for finding community in which we can all share our collective appreciation for this incredible novel. So if you're reading this, thank you! And I hope this blog has been able to provide for you anything like what it has for me!
Now this post is done, why don't we call a health, dear reader; why don’t we give our toast?
Many more posts - and years - to come, then!
#A Tale of Two Cities#Sydney Carton#Charles Darnay#AToTC#Dickens#classic literature#litblr#Waffle Art#heads up#blogress#redraw#TEN YEARS!!! ONE DECADE!!!!!!!!!!#absolutely surreal#TEN! like 🔟TEN years! WHAT!#also I tried to make the redraw take about as long as the original but I went over by a bit I couldn't help it#and also also that vignette at the end is an edit of one from an old set of vignettes I drew a few years ago#they're somewhere down in the art tag#anyway. just. yeah it kinda speaks for itself but also it doesn't and I could go on and on about all my feelings about this#but I shall refrain! and instead say:#see you next week for another illustrators post! QUEUED this time!#and again: thank you!💜
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